#im sorry im so like. incoherent

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

i don't know what order to start Dissecting, so i'll just start with:

it's absolutely fascinating how the dynamic Wally & Barnaby had - to my knowledge - before the update, and a dynamic i'd seen speculated elsewhere and generally accepted, has been completed turned on its head

see, given that Wally is the "main character" and Barnaby is classified as "his best friend", i got the feeling that Barnaby kind of... tags along on Wally's 'shenanigans'. that he's the sidekick, the best friend. especially since their dynamic has been previously & briefly described as "Barnaby is very polite to Wally." he's the Companion.

but the audios sorta paint a reverse picture. in the Interview, when Barnaby enters stage right, he completely bowls over Wally's introduction and dominates the interview. when the interviewer asks how the two of them are handling the fame, even outright asking Wally, Barnaby doesn't hesitate to answer the question himself, and only about himself. Wally doesn't get another word in edge-wise until the interviewer explicitly singles Wally out.

(now, an argument could be made that Barnaby knew that Wally was somewhat overwhelmed with all of the questions, and tried to take the reins to give him a reprieve. but, considering that the interview seems to be very early on the possible timeline - like, very soon after Welcome Home debuted - i don't think this is likely. i doubt Barnaby and Wally would've had the time to solidify their dynamic or really get to know each other that well yet)

and Barnaby continues to take point in pretty much all of their other conversations, too. like in the mystery Howdy/Barnaby/Wally audio, their interaction gives off the vibes that Wally is Barnaby's sidekick, his tag-along.

(on a related tangent, it's fascinating how the website described the episodes as "[beginning] with Wally introducing the focus or theme for the day before coming across other characters who would join him on his escapades until the end of the day." but from pretty much everything we've seen so far, it seems like He's the one who's just along for the ride, bouncing from neighbor shenanigan to neighbor shenanigan instead of having his own adventures.

of course, if the 14 audios are present time, which is honestly somewhat likely, this could be because the show isn't running. they aren't doing episodes - they're just existing, doing their things. no need for Wally to take point in any way shape or form. tangent over)

in the 14 audios with Barnaby, he doesn't even acknowledge Wally until the very end - which, of course, could be because that's how the scenes are set up. except that in some of them, the characters do directly acknowledge Wally's presence outside of the endings. Eddie in 5-14, Howdy and Poppy in 1-14, and Frank in 4-14 (technically, since he was infodumping to Wally at the very start before Barnaby interrupted). you'd think that a guy would try to include his best friend a little more!

maybe i'm reading into it too much. & given what we know about Wally as a character, it would make sense for Barnaby to be the go-getter Main Guy of the two. but it really seems like its Barnaby & Wally instead of Wally & Barnaby. he's just kinda... there. going along with whatever Barnaby is up to.

but also, on the other side of things - & it's occurring to me as i type this, it's interesting how in a lot of audios, Barnaby seems to seek Wally out. in "Just So", he shows up to fetch Wally. in 4-14, Barnaby interrupts Frank and Wally's gardening session, almost as if he's stopping by to check on his little buddy. in 7-14, Barnaby calls Julie's house (presumably) searching for Wally, or at least checking in once again. something to consider in all of this!

#and if the 14 audios are in the same day along a timeline - which they Are. im trying to puzzle it out rn but anyway - #its interesting how barnaby just kept. checkin. in. #they had three audios where they were already hanging out and then got two (technically three) more where barnaby checked in! #it feels like there's something there... #separation anxiety? a compulsion? love for his buddy? a secret fourth thing? #maybe he could tell something was Off with wally that day... #(which is a topic i will ramble about in a different post) #its a push & pull to be certain.... #but yeah that plus all the evidence of Barnaby kinda being the Lead and wally being brushed off to the side.... #what a complicated fuckin picture it paints!!! dont know what it means yet! #i have another post im working on centering on how the neighbors seem to treat each other - wally & eddie especially #but this post aint about that. itll be related though #homebogging #wh speculation #please let this have made sense! #when i make posts i just kinda throw myself at it bc i have No organizational skills! #my brain is a complete incoherent mess and i am so sorry if this post is messy <3

[fatmaclover]

theres something to be said about how mac still holds such a childish adoration for his parents after such a long time. how literally its shown to us by the fact that

mac always slicked his hair back as a child, when he still had contact with his father

he stops doing this into adulthood, but later in life, once mac interacts with his father again, he starts slicking his hair back again

he doesnt stop. slicking his hair back. until his own father walks out during his coming out performance. the guy he put it on for. only after that does he completely stop styling his hair that way

not to mention the constant refusal that his mom (and dad) could be anything but perfect, the way hes so desperate to do good by them, viewing them as the way to measure his success...

and. yeah thats. something.

the internal denial that his parents treated him poorly, the fact that its his primary instinct to deny that his parents suck, the constant dismissal of his own issues relating to family because his whole life hes been told that "other people have it worse". the way hes internalized that so hard. the way it takes his dad walking out on macs coming out performance to him for mac to stop blindly idolizing some guy whos threatened to kill him

the constant fear of his own father, while also believing him to be the coolest bestest guy ever. the way he always assumes his father is gonna get violent when actually talking to him, but sings nothing but praises when away from him

the fact that he still calls his dad "daddy" even.

i mean you cant really blame him for not fully growing up in some areas huh

its not even that i think he doesnt know that his parents treat him horribly, it just really seems like he wants so badly to believe thats not the case from years of having his cries for help ignored or made fun of. he cant have been treated poorly, because charlie was treated poorly, and his baggage isnt nearly as bad as charlies, so clearly macs home life wasnt bad.

i think thats proven most of all by his frustration with his own family at times, it really feels like theres some underlying issues. they can very quickly manifest as frustration and anger, but honestly its probably mostly sadness. the way he reacts to his own mother really reminds me of how i interact with family members i have grudges with but have to pretend i dont. im not actually angry at any of these people, im mostly just exhausted by them.

he very clearly is still aware of the neglect he faced as a kid, to me. he knows his home life was severely fucked up, hes just never been able to express that, so hes coped by just. pretending that it didnt happen.

and realistically i dont know if he could ever properly acknowledge that his home life was fucked and his parents suck. maybe hed acknowledge that his dad sucks now, but it wouldnt have been that bad when he was a kid and wasnt a fag. right? he was loved then. his mom still did a great job raising him, and he really loves her, and he was raised with all the love and care a child needs.

#iasip spoilies #mac mcdonald #iasip #its always sunny in philadelphia #mac macdonald #im just rambling here #i wasnt fully conscious for like half of this im sorry if it ever gets incoherent #also still have only watched the first episode of season 14 #so sorry if i get anything wrong here #im just speaking from a post s13 perspective i guess

[unmerrymagdalene]

Actually you know what, I’m not gonna wait until the poll finishes because you cannot convince me that Sydney and Sirris have a fully good parental relationship-

This isn’t me saying their relationship is fully bad obvi! It’s clear that Sirris cares for Sydney and their well being, but like-

Sirris is openly sex positive to a debatably obsessive(?) intense degree. Sydney, at the start of the game, is not. Sydney works at the shop, despite the fact they’re openly embarrassed by everything. Sydney goes to the Temple routinely, while Sirris just drops them off and barely steps foot inside. Sirris does have some reservations about the Temple and hey, and it’s also the same place where their late partner/Sydney’s other parent was mainly at, which is a whole can of worms that is never overtly talked about.

They clearly love each other, but they (probably) do not talk about stuff beyond a surface level. They’re both treading on very thin ice. What the fuck is going on with them-

#dol #degrees of lewdity #dol sydney #sydney the faithful #dol sirris #sirris the science teacher #if you can tell by this incoherent post these two drive me especially crazy #like hoooow do they live under the same roof they are probably constantly not talking to each other fully maybe? #this could also be like soooo far off so if it is Im sorry #anyway Sydney’s other parent #we love a bitch who haunts the narrative- #merry speaks

[bassguitarinablackt-shirt]

okay so when i was very new to the pjo fandom i had alot of thoughts about being queer and being a half blood, so heres an old rant of mine edited a bit (alot) to be semi coherent and postable!

Being a half blood is by definition queer, not normal. Half bloods are unable to fit in with mortals, they're too different, too strange. Yet, they're able to find community at camp half blood, a place with others like them, others just as weird and different. I think this is something that resonates with alot of queer people, it's at the very least something alot of us have dreamed of or experienced something similar to.

Another thing that I think is worth mentioning is how we see, especially with Annabeth talking about her family–mortals sometimes almost demonizing half bloods, treating them as dangerous. Once again, in a way this speaks to alot of queer people. Being treated as dangerous for something you can not control, something that's just simply a part of who you are, the way you were born.

I think it might be worth mentioning how it's nearly impossible for a god to be cishet? Especially alot of the greek gods were as queer as can be. Humanity feels the need to fit themselves into boxes gods have no need for, half bloods i think fit right in the middle of that which i think might be a little reminiscent of how queer people are shoved into boxes that shouldn't exist by others around them.

I have no idea how to segue properly SO, MY FINAL POINT: The concept of being a half blood is something that i think speaks to alot of people, as a half blood you don't fit in, as a queer person you don't fit in; yet as either there are other's like you, a community that will welcome you with open arms.

tagging some people who might be interested: @agentwaffle @a-wondering-thought (i know you two want to see this) @genderfluidsgetguns @ssavinggrace (i just want you two to see this)

#asher says stuff #im so fucking scared to post this but like here goes nothing #my thoughts are incoherent and hard to put into words alot of the time so im lucky if this makes any sense whatsoever #also sorry if this feels like. dhdjhshsh idk the word fuck #i feel like i just used all the same points over and over again #okay im just gonna post this and go die in a hole <3

[huginsmemory]

Trigun and Christianity

In lieu of trigun Stampedes choice to make Wolfwood an undertaker instead of a priest (to, well, my disappointment), I thought it might be interesting to look at some of the Christian themes in Trigun, and then also look at why they might have decided to choose for Wolfwood to be a undertaker then a preist, and a potential reason to why Trigun has these Christian themes. Also, btw, this is chock full of manga spoilers so, beware!

To start it off... trigun is actually... pretty heavy on Christian themes. Fuck man, the main character is basically an angel, and in one of the first volumes they literally describe the plants as something divine (although they are later declared to be something humans made... But nevertheless the very clear imagery is there). Also what features very strongly is pacifism and the themes of unconditional love; Vash's refusal to kill coming from believing that going forward, anyone can change, even when he is literally being harmed or attempted to be killed by others. These themes of pacifism and unconditional love are very Christian, and Vash's actions very much centre him as a Jesus-like character. In fact, even the way that he (and knives) was born, a virgin birth, also could be seen as an allusion, as well as the way that he holds a physical form as a human while being more than human- Jesus being considered a 'son of man' while also being the son of God; ie, something in-between, something both divine and human. Knives as well is written in that angelic and divine light, although he is done so in a dark opposite of Vash, with an emphasis on his 'divinity' for imagery as he is obsessed with it. Interestingly, contrast to Knives, Vash, who goes around as a human, is multiple times called a Devil for his reputation, although he is the one that actually is virtuous... This in a way also alludes to him as a Jesus-like figure, as that Jesus was ultimately sought after by the authorities and in some places hated and even driven away by people.

12 disciples

As well, Nightow is pretty blatant that the gung ho guns, of which there are 12, is a allusion to the 12 disciples; hell, Wolfwood calls them straight up disciples when he is at Jeneora Rock. One might argue that then whether that posits Knives as a Jesus figure as that they follow Knives directions, or if one would consider Vash to be the Jesus figure, as the 12 literally seek out, and 'follow' Vash, and of which one of them literally betrays (although, technically, Wolfwoods betrayal goes both ways). However, I don't think that argument is really one that matters, as it's more of the aesthetic of Christianity that Nightow likes in this matter, not the philosophical implications.

As well, as mentioned above, Wolfwood is very Judas-coded; he gets close to Vash, only to inevitably betray him and deliver him up to his fate, while clearly being torn up about it. Vash is not surprised at all when Wolfwood tells him that he was one of the gung ho guns, and you get the sense that he knew about it all along, and knew exactly what he was walking into. Yet he still loves and forgives Wolfwood for all of it. Which... is exactly the same thing that occurs between Judas and Jesus, Jesus willingly going with Judas even though he knew what lay before him.

Wolfwood

As well, quite obviously adding to the heavy Christian themes of trigun, is that Wolfwood calls himself a priest. Although indeed it's part of his front, it's clear Wolfwood in the manga is religious, challenging and calling upon God in response to seeing the Knives born, and his response to the fifth moon incidence where he questions if it was the hand of God (which, actually, is caused by Vash's hand... again alluding to the 'divinity' of Vash and Knives). This clear religious affiliation continues through the series, such as when he is rescuing Vash from Knives, and even praying while he is on the ship with the people that helped vash.

Wolfwood also throughout the series is very clearly is morally wraught with guilt over his choices and sins... Something that's very Catholic/Christian. Hell, the fact that the punisher, the insignia of his murderous profession, is a literal heavy cross that Wolfwood carries with him, is poetic irony; he's literally carrying around the embodiment of his sins and his guilt from his profession and choices, which weighs both heavily on his physical body but also him emotionally. Wolfwood's guilt over his sins and choices comes to its climax when he's about to die when rescuing Vash from Knives, after betraying him; where he questions whether he can be forgiven for what he has done and whether he was wrong, and in response Vash saves him, declaring that he is not wrong; not wrong to go against orders, leaving his vocation of being a murderer behind, in trying to save Vash and moving forward. In declaring Wolfwood that he was not wrong, what Vash (heavily implied divine, Jesus-like character) is declaring is that Wolfwood can be forgiven for his sins, is already forgiven for his betrayal (unconditional love, anyone?), and that Wolfwood can change, that his past doesn't define him, because his future is also a blank ticket.

As well, this is followed up later by Wolfwoods confession to Vash that he hates killing:

The confession and the way he phrases it- seeing all humans as his brethren (although, in this sense he may be speaking tangentially about Livio) is something that also has Christian overtones. (Also, the way that they mention Vash sees the whole of humans as his relatives, also ties into that; except personally I'd argue that's more of a Indigenous view then a Christian, but theres plenty of things that overlap with other theologies and philosophies within the manga that aren't just characteristics of Christianity).

Redemption via acts

There's also a theme of redemption via acts, which both Wolfwood and Vash lean into heavily as a result of guilt from their 'sins', something that is very... Well, again, Christian, especially Catholic. Vash, from being unable to stop Knives and having obliterated July and just his and knives general existence, and Wolfwood from his profession, and so they both struggle with immense feelings of guilt. As a result both are very self-sacrificing; Vash very obviously so throughout the series, and Wolfwood in a quieter way, in choosing to continue to work to protect the orphanage, even though he desperately wants to escape the life he leads and hates killing people. They both don't believe they deserve to be loved because of the weight of their sins, and so they redeem themselves the only way they know how by self-sacrifice; this literally causing Wolfwoods death as he didn't reach our to Vash for help, and is evident in the way Legato looks at Vash at the end and realizes he sees a man that only sees himself as a tool and hates himself. This belief of Vash's that he doesn't deserve love/nice things is something that is also interesting, because he so aggressively pushes the 'blank ticket of the future', ie, unconditional love, while clearly being unable to apply it to himself.

Tldr: the point is, Trigun is very heavily Christian themed, both in aesthetic and philosophy, and the characterization of both Vash and Wolfwood reflect that. The show is rampant with such Christian philosophical themes as unconditional love, sin and guilt, confessions, forgiveness and redemption through self-sacrifice; for aesthetic ones, well, literal 'angels' as main characters, Wolfwood being a priest and carrying a cross, the 12 gung ho guns as 12 disciples.

Wolfwood as an Undertaker

Since Trigun is so heavily Christian themed, it makes it... well, a bit of a strange choice to pull the fact that Wolfwood is a preist out, since him as a preist further emphasizes the moral quandries within the story and the themes of sins/guilt/forgiveness and unconditional love. However, as one other post here on tumblr mentioned, stampede as an iteration of trigun is more directed towards a more modern and Japanese audience, some of which can be seen with the revamp of the character designs to make them more relatable, and I think they mentioned some specific character traits with Meryl. This re-vamping, especially one specifically for a Japanese audience might explain why Wolfwood becomes a undertaker instead of being a Christian priest. Nightow in the back panels in the manga is clearly is very enthralled with American culture- and his knowledge and love of the American genres shows pretty strongly in the themes and the setting for Trigun. In fact, the 1998 anime was better recieved in the west then in Japan, and a possible likelihood for it's higher popularity within the Americas is going to be directly because of the western audience being more familiar with the Western genre, as well as specifically, the Christian themes within the show (since western countries cultures are Christian based, even if one wasn't raised religious). As well, compared to the other typical gunslinging space western anime, Cowboy bebop, Trigun contains more Christian themes, which would make it less relatable, and less popular to the Japanese audience (of course there are many other differences in the shows, so I would be reluctant to chalk it up to just the religious themes in trigun- hell, Cowboy Bebop makes some great criticisms of capitalism that is not present in Trigun). Circling back to them revamping the show, if they are trying to make it more relatable to a Japanese audience, then removing more overly American influences, such as one of the characters literally being a Christian priest, would fit that bill quite well.

Trigun and Christianity... Why?

Also, I personally think that Nightow didn't exactly mean to make a story that is really heavily Christian themed. My sneaking suspicion from reading chapter 0, is the Nightow thought that writing a western with a main character gunslinger that is a pacifist would be a fun and interesting prospect, and then when he began to elaborate on it, he began to pull in more western (both cultural and genre wise) themes and aesthetics into the story, resulting in something that is very heavily Christian themed in the end.

EDIT: it's been raised to my attention by the lovely @trigum, that it says in the wikipedia on Nightow that he was raised buddhist and converted to Catholicism, although there is no source for that information. If so, this would, well, very obviously explain why Trigun is so heavy on Christian themes and negates the paragraph above. I'm not giving him enough credit then, my apologies Nightow!

EDIT 2:

Edit 3 (Feb 3): made a somewhat part 2, specifically looking at the phrase the 'bride of Christ'.

#trigun #trigun spoilers #trigun maximum #trigun anime #trigun 1998 #trigun stampede #wolfwood #nicholas d. wolfwood #vash the stampede #knives millions #feels wierd to write about Christianity #uh. yeah if thjs is incoherent please ignore me hah #also not to say that trigun is a very Christian bit of media but also??? it kinda is? #as ex christian the amount of guilt coming off these characters is so v me in middle school figuring out im queer #also sad about wolfwood not being a preist for both poetic irony but also. let's be honest that poetic irony is hot #also like. nightow best charcter design ever. sorry no one will be able to design a better character then trained assasin priest #who carries a huge cross machine gun and is full of guilt over his sins #and loves children #is this also tangentally vashwood #yes. ignore me #vashwood #if ur like ur writing is rambly sorry! i know a bit of it is repetitive #do i care? nope not any more #nightow slapping both vash and wolfwood: these boys can fit so much christain guilt in them

[ace-apple]

okay so none of us actually think that the losing team is like DEAD dead like permadead right. like we all agree its just for the event right. and we're not gonna panic right.

#mcyt #qsmp #THIS IS JUST. IN CASE I SEE SHIT ABT 'OMG THEYRE ALL DEAD FOREVER' #i havent seen that YET but like. im sorry thats certainly. a conclusion to come to. #sorry im still salty about ppl in this fandom forgetting that. catharsis is a thing. and instead making it about just angst angst #and more angst <3 #im a little bit incoherent rn so forgive me if i make no sense lmao

[mira0000000-blog]

Concepts for a Surgamy fankid named Nerine, created in a fit of Surgamy thoughts at 6am and I cant draw him again..So i think im gonna abandon him for a while haha.. sth

#i dont know how to character design at all im so sorry for his colors lmaoo #i dont like how his clothes turned out.. gonna try doing somethin else for his wardrope when i feel like it eee now im angy at him #he never met surge or amy as a kid! he doesnt even know he is technically their son! its complicated! #he never really doubted or thought too much about where did he come from either #also hes very forgetful! he only forgets more stuff over time and nobody can tell why.. #he was born and found around a time where sonic wasnt heroin anymore so he takes the role! as weird as that sounds! #his lore is very incoherent cos he was born yesterday lol just a silly incoherent guy.. #surgamy fankid #surgamy #surgeamy #Nerine the Hedgehog #sth #wee my art i gues

[eyesoftxmorrow]

i'm not rly the type for mcyt stuff, but i think i finally managed to articulate why qsmp in particular just feels so incredibly special to me.

it's the way that the language proficiency of literally everyone involved is slowly evolving the longer they play together. the way that the english speaking players are making an effort to talk to one another in spanish and vice versa. when this thing started i remember hearing from multiple eng povs that they had to lean a lot on the google translate tab (and thats ok!), but something that really excites me is when i see those same eng ccs express how much they want to learn more about speaking spanish bc it's a way that thet can genuinely connect with their fellow players.

it's not even the fact that it's a minecraft smp; that just Happens to be the medium through which we get to watch this unfold. it's the first time, at least to my knowledge, that we're able to watch both the spanish and english-speaking communities bond over a game they love at a level as involved as this. both sides of the community are equally prominent, and more importantly, they're united in a way that i've never really observed in an online space until now. genuinely ive never seen anything like this before and its just really fascinating to see how all the players take on the challenge of building that bridge over something that once was a communication barrier for them. i love language i love cooperative gaming i love humans having fun learning new things from one another

#qsmp #sorry if this is incoherent its 2 am and im having feelings ab this series #as someone who spent their entire college career studying spanish and psychology and communications this smp is like the perfect storm #finally. a social experiment made specifically for me /J #the lore and the eggs and all that are just as entertaining ofc #but i think that the linguistic implications is what really got me invested. ygwim? #huge HUGE props to quackity for putting this smp together man. he really has created something so incredibly special #skip speaks

[mommalosthermind]

So I'm slowly starting to come to understand that we shouldn't censor things but also I'm still a little uncomfortable with the site allowing things like pedophilia to be written in a way that's romanticized. I get it. Avoid it since I don't like it but at what point do we say, 'hmm this isn't okay.' I mean I get it, fiction doesn't hurt people but if that were truly the case then why are we lobbying for rep/realism/etc in media? Fiction, at some point, has to have some effect on real life.

Hello darling! I got your second ask too, please don’t worry, you’re definitely not coming across as unkind.

And you’re definitely not the only one to have similar thoughts or concerns.

But my answer’s going to be the same.

There is no such thing as a little censorship, and opening that particular can of pringles is not going to end happily for anyone. It’s better to not open it at all. And yes, that means people will create deeply fucked up things. But they should have the ability to do so, just like you should have the ability to avoid the hell out of it.

(Which, for AO3, is where I start in on my tag your shit appropriately/read the fucking tags!!! Rants. Learned the hard way a million years ago when I *thought* I was reading something very very different than I was, so when I got to ‘Character has sex with a dog’ I lost my mind, then realized I fucked up and hadn’t read the tags. If I had, I would have noped out of that fic immediately. So. That entire encounter was on me.)

“At what point is this not okay?” Well, that’s the whole point, isn’t it? Who would be in charge of deciding where the line goes? Who gets to decide what goes on which side of the line?

The last anon seemed to think writing was the same as doing, and thus writing shouldn’t be allowed at all.

And then got annoyed when I pointed out how often those unsavory themes happen in movies or TV without any warning at all, and generally, people move right past it.

Fiction doesn’t hurt people. People hurt people.

My favorite comparison is still my kitchen curtains, because my curtains are still weird: fairies, trees. Very witchy. I’ve seen people do literal double takes over my curtains. I can tell by the way they squint they can’t stand them or don’t understand why I would want something so *non-traditional* in such a public part of my house. They keep their damned mouths shut though, because they know its rude to tell me to change my curtains to fit their idea of a kitchen. (And also because I’d toss them out after laughing my ass off but that’s not relevant)

Person A has an idea of what ‘acceptable’ levels are, but that’s much much less than person B. Who wins? No one.

And no one should have the power to just decide things like that.

It’s stupid o’clock at night where I am, so I’m not about to go digging for studies, but I know we’ve got pretty solid proof that media doesn’t cause behaviors spontaneously. At the risk of sounding old, but this same argument once was applied to music, too. The weird compromise was slapping content warnings for language/sex/violence on CD’s. (Y’know. A significantly less useful form of tagging?) It didn’t… really do shit for anyone. Other than make those CD’s more attractive to teens, tbh. But. The argument at the time was rap and rock were violent and would make kids go insane and violent just by listening.

It… didn’t. It still doesn’t.

Reading dark fic isn’t going to cause someone to do something out of the blue.

Someone who’s debating doing the thing might seek out media about whatever their obsession is, yes. But their obsession was already there. Fic, music, movies, they’re not going to create it. I’d wager those girls who murdered their friend and blamed ‘slenderman’ had signs long before they went that far.

Part of the problem with this entire thought is that it’s thought policing. Folks assume the thought equals the sin. And as someone with pretty wonky intrusive thoughts and a long family history of mental issues— no. I have weird ass thoughts all the time. ‘Huh, I’m up high, I should jump, maybe I’ll float.’ I’m not gonna act on them. I know they’re weird thoughts. I’m not gonna float, I’d just die. Your brain just… says things sometimes. Some of us more than others. Therapy’s helpful for folks who struggle with that.

Fiction’s got nothing to do with it, though. Fiction just represents someone else working through their lives.

Melissa Etheridge wrote a song (scarecrow) about Matthew Sheppard’s murder. She didn’t cause anyone else to go torture another lonely gay boy to death. She was working through her grief at losing another one of us. And we worked through our grief when she sang.

Art is made for the making of it. Fiction—even the kind that squicks you— is still art.

As for the other part of your ask, the representation? I’m not sure I see the connection you’re trying to make. When people talk about rep, they’re talking about making the characters more authentic, more reflective of the beautiful range of humanity at large. Not seven brown haired white guys and one bitchy white woman and the unnamed not-white side character used for shit jokes. There should be a rainbow of humans in media, because little black girls deserve to know they’re strong and smart and beautiful. Because queer kids of all sizes and shapes deserve to know they’re loved. Because boys should get to be princesses. Because people with chronic illnesses, disabilities, they should get to be part of the stories. Because white folk need to see the rest of the world as human. Folks want to see themselves in the heroes, the happiness, the successes.

Too many kids never get to see themselves on the screen or read about people who look like them.

I loved belle as a kid because she looked like me and she loved reading. I loved Ariel because she wanted to be free. I cried over encanto because I know what it’s like to be excluded, what it’s like to be the big sister. I cried over reading red white and royal blue because the gays get to live and they’re happy. Everyone should have some way to connect.

The realism bit,though, I don’t think is the consumers as a whole. Yeah, some folks prefer it, but from what I’ve seen over the last 20 years, it’s more like the people who control most popular media have decided that’s what they wanna make. I don’t care for it, tbh. Media doesn’t need to be an exact copy of the real world.

Stories are meant as a place of solace, or at least a place that is different, than your day to day.

I like stories that have soft, happy ever afters. We’ve worked through the Big Bad Thing and come out stronger for it and now we get our well deserved rest. The real world doesn’t give me those things. Other people look at the state of the world, read seriously fucked up shit, and then go, well, at least my life isn’t that. It could be worse! And this is their happy place.

So. I’m not sure I’m much help here, but tl;dr: remember the tenets of fandom:

1) kinktomato: your kink is not my kink and that is okay. (You like this, I do not, I’m gonna leave it alone, the end.)

2) DLDR: Don’t like? Don’t read. Filtering and blocking are your besties.

3) ship and let ship (or sit down) — don’t press your dislike onto the people who do like. Let ‘em alone, go find what you do like.

4) tag appropriately, read the damn tags.

5) curate your own spaces. You alone are responsible for your online existence/experiences

6) have fun. Enjoy it. Be weird. Be silly. Be fucked up. Be unrepentantly yourself. Don’t let anyone else take that away from you.

#momma talks #asks #answered asks #censorship #i am very tired its like 1 am so this is probably more incoherent than I think it is im so sorry

[tothepointofinsanity]

what schizoid traits do you see in sayaka?

Ah, I think that Sayaka is canonically closer to a BPD interpretation, so the schizoid traits I see in her are more comorbid with the latter itself. Personally, however, it is more so of my own comfort to headcanon Sayaka as "schizoid" because of the themes of her alienation. Sayaka struggles with reconnecting with others and forming relationships that she desires, all the while isolating herself further and further away from her childhood best friend, Madoka. There are also codes of apathy and indifference regarding how she perceives her own body (a corpse) as an inhuman mobile, and how she eventually succumbs to her loneliness, a sentiment that carries over even to her witch form. As Oktavia, she drowns out reality by confining herself in a world she created - being in the centre of attention on a stage, something that she would not have achieved in the "human" reality. I think how Sayaka perceives reality and how she fails to be in tune with other magical girls is the biggest buzzer here. A person so out of place among even those with magic (as she is inexperienced, unstable and regarded as ineffective compared to the rest of the Holy Quintet), yet rejected as a human with the idea that she is inherently undesirable and unlovable, which perpetuates her mechanisms of "I can't be loved because I am not human and therefore I will not maintain any meaningful relationships".

As opposed to explicit traits, I feel that there are "codes" with her character/arc which resonate with my experiences more.

#sayaka casually leaning to the bpd and schizotypal compass ig #schizoid sayaka is more of a me interpretation because i think people can agree that her bpd codes are much stronger #but im comorbid for both so this is definitely very fun for me and her #ASKS 💌 #genuinely sorry if this is incoherent i just Believe more than i Think #also the whole sequence with elsa maria really feels like a schizomoment she is Literally Me/lh

[hauntedpearl]

was just thinking about despair again and it's fucking tripping me up like yes they were in love and we got baited about it for a decade or whatever but also! they did reach what I would consider a pretty solid breaking point in s15 imo. like not saying that dean and cas would've just started hating each other or anything but like there was the divorce and even after dean's whole...you know, kind of apology in the trap, it's like. that was a truce. that was them being like okay we are friends again. but even after that there were places where I would argue that dean was. you know. not acting his best. like in unity for example when he's like jack thanks for doing that. (ooc to me but like ik it isn't but I am delusional) and like just generally everyone is at their wits' end and not in their right minds and it's not unbelievable to me to be like. well. will they-wont they for 12 years but they won't. like that is a logical enough ending and it's depressing and sad but sometimes life is like that so whatever.

BUT THEN!!! AFTER ALL THIS!

you have the love confession. and that like. in the craziest way. it does recontextualize the whole show and we can argue until the end of time about what's toxic and what's abusive and whatever the hell else but like. what happened on screen was basically.

god said: every other version of you listened to me. and cas said the difference between every other version and me is that i give a shit about this world. and then he said he started to care because of dean. because he loves dean. literally the big and only difference between this world and every other. why is there free will? because castiel fell in love with dean winchester and decided he was going to save him.

what the actual fuck.

and despite all the things happening in their lives, it's the ONE THING he wants and he KNOWS HE CAN'T HAVE IT. AND EVEN THEN. the happiest moment. THE HAPPIEST MOMENT IN THE LIFE OF THIS BILLIONS YEAR OLD ANGEL. WAS TELLING DEAN WINCHESTER THAT HE WAS LOVED.

sit with that.

just for a fucking second.

break? what break. they cannot have a break!!! it's over!!! literally they did not have to orchestrate the series of events in such a way to insinuate this level of unconditional love but THEY DID AND THEN THEY LOOKED ME IN THE EYE AND CALLED ME CRAZY IM GOING TO KICK A HORSE IN THE NUTS

#LIKE. LISTEN TO ME #what im trying to articulate and doing a bad job is that. well if they'd left it be #it would have been like. not impossible for them to convince me that destiel never will.be and never was #like i still think they love each othwr very much but i also would've been like that's the end of the rope for them tho it's ocee #BUT THEN THE CONFESSION #THEN. AFTER ALL.THIS. #doe is talking again #sorry im sorry im so incoherent

[thwackk]

here’s diana comforting wally after barry’s death

#diana loves all the speedsters idc what canon or anyone says #this is my truth #i found this in my drafts its pretty old #but it doesn’t look god awful. so #the pose is kinda fucked up im sorry if it’s like super incoherent #dc #wonder woman #diana prince #wally west #the flash #my art lol #my artstyle changes like every hour

[shsl-roomba]

the dr fandom cant handle wlw ships in any other context than background fluff with no depth

i like sakuraoi and tsumioda ect but they always get woobified and mellowed out like did they SEE 1-4??? aoi did not pull all that to get sidelined as a supportive background lesbian in your ishimondo fanfic

and don’t get me wrong. my girls need a break sometimes fluff is great i don’t have a problem with it. but it’s the constant sidelining of wlw ships in favour of het/mlm ships in pretty much any fandom that gets to me.

and how wlw ships are only acceptable in the community when they don’t have any dysfunction or toxicity, and if the ship does have even the slightest hint of the above qualities it is either mellowed out to the point of being unrecognisable or dumped on with thinly veiled misogyny and homophobia and when i say slightest hint i mean the literally slightest hint. like the girls will argue once and the fandom will label the ship toxic while shipping. fucking kuzupeko or something.

wlw ships are seen almost entirely as a way to get female characters out of the way of mlm ships. in het ships the female character is a tool to develop the male character. they show significantly less depth and probably dies to forward the male character’s development (sound familiar?)

in any situation female characters are characterised by their relations to male characters. a female character’s (usually romantic, or at least interpreted as such) relationship with a male character is their defining characteristic. if said female character is in a wlw relationship they are reduced to their most basic traits while male characters are explored and given depth, and exist in the story only to offer support to the male characters.

i haven’t even mentioned how female characters must be in a relationship to be even remotely relevant in a story, but that’s a rant for another time.

grrah the way that female characters mirrors how wlw ships are treated by the community, and that characters/ships that aren’t completely perfect and deemed acceptable by the community are dumped on by the larger dr community while worse ships or characters are welcomed because they happen to contain a male character is gonna be my 13th reason istg.

anyways this rant is getting long but in summary danganronpa fans hate women and they hate wlw relationships that they can’t jerk off to.

#apple chat #danganronpa #sdr2 #thh #ndrv3 #this post is incoherent i know i know #also as an add on #leaving this in the tags because my post is about female characters and wlw relationships exclusively #and what im going to say affects mlm relationships as well #but the despite the amount of queer fans a lot of the dr community esp the ones on reddit view heterosexuality as the “default” #and dump on queer ships simply because they happen to be queer #the dr community’s constant complaining about its queer fans drives me up a wall #yes a lot of them are annoying and i also hate the annoying komahina saiouma shippers who hate anything that isn’t pale twink yaoi BUT #we can dump on annoying dr fans and ships we don’t like without bringing up sexuality i believe in you guys❤️ #oh no the poor straights the shippers made their favourite characters gay💔 damn those homos ruining everything #is what you guys genuinely sound like sometimes #the tone deafness in this community #one day i will round up every dr redditor and set them on fire #I’m so sorry you had to see gay people on your dash as repayment you get one f slur pass use it wisely #i will shit on dr community again another day for now goodbye🫡 #psst btw i have no beef with kmhn and (most) of its fans but a bunch are Like That so yeah #on the other hand fuck saiouma all my homies hate saiouma (well *I* don’t like it but good for you besties) #ok this is getting long enough BYEEE #homophobia tw #misogyny tw

[thiriumhound]

i only recently got properly back into dbh recently and i cant lie i used to be really partial to the more father/son connor & hank but looking through your blog and takes and stuff rlly has made me more partial to the platoniconk side of things. 🫡

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BITCHES WE GOT ONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

JOIN US JOIN US 😭😭😭😭😭����😭😭😭😭

(sorry if that was too much lmfao it's just @iwonderwh0 built this tag from the ground up literally like less than a year ago because it seemed like father-son or ship was an inescapable dichotomy with no room for them to just be literally anything else... im so glad we've affected someone slkdjfsldk 🥺🥺 welcome platoniconk fan)

#be warned i do rb a hankcon here and there every once in a while #so like maybe blacklist the tag if u wanna make absolutely sure u don't see it 🤷 #i also used to be a father-son fan but i ended up closer to the other side due to multiple reasons dslfdfk #but primarily yeah. let them be friends that's all i want #thiriumhowls #platoniconk #technically the friendship dynamic has always been out there but it's never been searchable and always buried under the other two #connor rk800 #hank anderson #also check out epicqtefail uwu theyre unhinged but all platoniconk (or whatever the fuck is going on over there <3) #i just love when they both (dis)respect each other as adults what can i say #sorry if this was incoherent im trying not to proofread too much lest i take 5 years to respond #and iwonderwh0 sorry for the @ if that bothers u skldfjsdlkfjsldf idr...

[raineandsky]

#98

“And lo! Here approaches my best knight,” the king announces to the jester as the knight squeezes through the door. The poor jester looks thankful to see her as he hurries out of the king’s gaze. “Come, show me your skill.”

The knight throws a few carefully angled swings for the king. He watches with a delighted expression, but she can see the soullessness in his eyes. Her stomach flips uncertainly.

“You are an excellent swordsman, knight,” he says flatly. “Now, tell me, why should I allow you to stay within my walls?”

The jester averts his gaze awkwardly. Is she about to get fired? “… Because I’m an excellent swordsman and your best knight,” she tries, and the king huffs in his telltale way of saying WRONG.

“Perhaps that was on me for being unspecific.” He picks up a wine glass from the golden table next to his throne, swirling it idly. “I hear you liaise with dragons.”

The knight’s attempt to keep her expression neutral fails miserably. The king watches with keen interest as her eyes widen and her mouth moves in an abysmal attempt to form some sort of defence. She’s acutely aware of the jester watching curiously too—whatever she says next will be the castle’s gossip for the next month. Maybe two if nothing of interest happens before then.

Well shit. Might as well fall into treason headfirst.

She reaches a hand into the front of her breastplate, earning a soft squeak from something inside. The king leans forward on his throne. The jester peers as close as he dares.

Her hand comes back with a short purple string laced around her fingers. Or she does at first glance, and closer inspection reveals her ribbon to be a tiny dragon, yawning and digging tiny claws into her fingers.

The king roars so loud the dragon startles. The knight and the jester don’t fare much better. “Beast!” he howls.

“Beast! Beast! Beast! Beast!” the room echoes back to them.

“You bring this creature within my walls?” he demands. “You slander my name—my rule—with your disregard to my kindness for you?”

“She’s harmless!” the knight cries over him. The dragon isn’t a fan of the racket, and is making a great effort to slip up her sleeve. “She looks after my finances.”

“Disgusting beast,” the king spits.

“The dragon,” the jester says quietly, valiantly ignoring the way the king’s stare snaps to him, “is your accountant?”

The knight fishes a coin from her pouch, gently tapping the dragon with its edge. Its gaze snaps to her gold, its past endeavour with her sleeve forgotten as it grapples for her coin. It twists its body around it excitedly, gnawing at the edge like a toddler, a quiet hum emitting from it as it does.

“That noise it is making,” the king shrieks, “it is going to attack!”

“No!” the knight shouts over him. “It’s like a cat—she’s purring. It means she’s happy.”

“Dragons do not purr,” the king retorts, but the dragon is undeniably making a noise that sounds remarkably like purring. The jester takes a cautious step closer.

The knight tucks her finger under her chin, giving it a hearty scratch. The dragon’s humming gets louder, her eyes closing blissfully at the touch.

“How does it… work?” the jester asks. The knight offers him a smile that she hopes conveys how grateful she is for his interest in the face of the king’s disgust.

“She takes my coins—my salary, my earnings, anything.” The knight adjusts her hand so the dragon sits more comfortably in her palm. She doesn’t seem to mind, too busy clamping her jaw around the gold to notice. “She keeps a hoard no one but her can find. I earned her trust, and whenever I need money she gives it to me.”

“She is a thief,” the king spits, but the rage is losing momentum in the face of such a cute little thing. The knight doesn’t miss how she’s suddenly not an ‘it’.

“I give her all the money she has. She’s just better at keeping money than most humans,” the knight says with a grin, “because she doesn’t spend it all in a tavern.”

The jester snorts. The king raises his eyebrows. Silence falls for a moment as they all watch the dragon get comfortable in the knight’s hand, her tiny body choking her coin, a claw wrapped around her thumb as she nestles in and closes her eyes.

The jester lets out a short “aww,” that’s louder than he probably intended.

“Tsch,” the king says. He leans back in his throne like he’s lost interest. “A beast is a beast. I am most displeased you were disloyal to my word, knight.”

“I apologise, your majesty,” the knight says. It’s all she can say, really. “I will fix things.”

“You… may keep the thing,” the king continues after a moment of intense deliberation. The knight attempts to not to look too surprised. The jester doesn’t even try. “But it is your accountant and nothing more. If I discover it torching my palace I will execute both it and you.”

“Accounting is what she’s best at, your majesty,” the knight says brightly. “You’ll never have to see her again.”

The king nods shortly, though his gaze is traitorously locked onto the purple ball in her hand. “I would not be adverse, knight,” the king says slowly, like he doesn’t quite want to, “if you felt it right to study. We did not know dragons purr, or like coin.”

“Your majesty?”

“Gather your resources and come back to me with knowledge of the beasts.” He waves a hand dismissively. “I will reconsider your treasonous actions if you can prove that your creature poses no threat to my rule or my people.”

A lot of questions are rattling through her brain. “Your majesty, what do—”

“That is all. Jester!” The king turns his attention away from her and back to the jester as he takes centrestage, looking a lot less stressed than before. He gives her a subtle nod and the lightest smile—a small gesture between the servants of the castle, a simple well done.

The knight leaves the hall with the king’s uproaring laughter following her. The dragon stays curled in her hand, and she runs her thumb over it carefully, the dragon’s body warm and prickly to the touch.

A knight to a scholar in one conversation. She doesn’t even know how to write.

#creative writing #writblr #writers on tumblr #writing #writing community #fantasci writing #fantasy writing #guess who got covid for the third fukn time #3????????? 3. 3 whole ass times #now. i know some people will not care about this. i know my coworkers sure dont #but i have seen the studies. chances of risk higher the more you get it etc etc #and on the first day i honestly felt like ASS and i still do!! ive had today off (yeehaw!) cause i feel like im dying!! (not yeehaw!) #wish me luck yall im so goddamn ill and im so goddamn mad about it #ive tried to do a lil writing through it but i aint all there in my head atm #so if i suddenly start posting the weirdest most incoherent stupid shit known to man. i wrote it with covid. sorry

[adelaidedrubman]

— SHE’S JUST QUIRKY.

SO @socially-awkward-skeleton decided to murder me completely dead today by surprising me with this gorgeous portrait of jestiny having a Normal Girl Moment. i remain stunned and in awe of how perfectly skelly captured her vibes and all the gorgeous detail. the way the blood blends into her her hair...... her muscles....... the ripped sleeves...... THANK YOU AGAIN SKELLY i am going to treasure and gush about it FOREVER.

#god im sorry she just...... looks so hot like this........ im love her...... thank you a million skelly....... #her widdle face is so cute covered in blood...... #ugh. god. sorry. incoherent. #oc: deputy jestiny ellen #jestiny images #arts and commissies