#in a way this march's challenge feels a bit more personal than last year

[nikatyler]

Celebrating Women CAS 2024 ✨ 08/31 ✨ An Inspiration

Cam Nguyen didn't have it easy growing up, from bullying to body image issues to losing her hearing. Now she's living her best life and is helping other women find their inner power as well.

#ts4 #sims 4 #the sims 4 #sims #simblr #my sims #CelebratingWomenCAS2024 #cam nguyen #in my head she's a fitness instructor. mainly #but she does a lot of other stuff #like she doesn't just focus on the workouts and doing it for vanity reasons #her whole thing is about transforming from inside out and being your happiest strongest healthiest self #honestly a little bit of her was inspired by cassey ho aka blogilates #bc i've been doing blogilates workouts on and off since 2015 and i recently came back to them #and i just love cassey's energy and it does something to me every time i work out #and coming back to her channel has been crucial in my recent healing i think so i wanted to sort of honor her like this if that makes sense #in a way this march's challenge feels a bit more personal than last year #bc i'm trying to put a piece of me in a lot of these sims

[choicesficwriterscreations]

September 2023 WOTM: lilyoffandoms

Each month CFWC highlights one of our talented fanfic writers, and this month’s writer of the month is @lilyoffandoms. We hope you will enjoy learning more about them and their work below! The writer is selected at random. More info can be found on the navigation page.

This month's Writer of the Month was selected a little differently than normal. We announced that we would be selecting the WOTM from the participants in last month's Writer Appreciation Event. But the eleven writers involved all agreed the honor belonged to Lily. Lily has been a staple in the Choices community for so long, and they continuously go out of their way to support creators and spread positivity while continuing to inspire and create themselves. We couldn't think of anyone better suited for the honor, so please join us in congratulating Lily... September's Writer of the Month!

Quick Links:

Tumblr Blog Name: lilyoffandoms Blog Masterlist

How do you want to be known on Tumblr? Lily is fine (they/them preferred)

1- When did you start playing Choices? What was the first book you played? 

Best guess would be back in January of 2018. It was a joke at first since a friend saw one of their god-awful ads and said we should both try it. Next thing you know, we were both arguing over which books were better and regretting our decision to start. Though their opinions on what constitutes good books are almost as bad as the Choices ad that got us to jokingly play (and I say this most lovingly because they are awesome and I love them). I started with Most Wanted, and my friend started with The Freshman. 

2- When and why did you join Choices fandom?

Oh gods! I joined back in March 2019. I know I’m a Tumblr baby by most everyone’s standards, but that feels like a really long time. I joined when Open Heart book one was released. I had lurked, reading fanfics, for a few months before biting the bullet and creating a blog and actually posting. Only joined because I was taking my editor’s advice and writing something entirely outside my norm to break a particularly bad case of writer’s block. Thought I might as well share those silly things if I was taking the time to write them. Maybe someone would enjoy them. Never did plan on sticking around, but found so many lovely people that I’ve come to call friends.

3- How did you pick your blog name? 

It was lilyofchoices. My name + Choices because I am super creative like that with those sorts of naming things 😅 I changed it to lilyoffandoms when I left the Choices fandom for a bit. I’ve thought about changing it more times than I can count but I can’t bring myself to actually follow through on it. How do y’all’s change your blog name with each new book release? You are a crazy different breed of tumblr and you fascinate me.

4- Pull up the first post in your archive, and tell us about it!  

I deleted the first one years ago. It was my first drabble. Currently, as it stands, the first thing in my archive is this post about Desire and Decorum, and it still makes me giggle.

5- How long have you been writing fanfiction?

I’ve only been writing fanfic since I joined Tumblr. I never really tried writing fanfic before that. Some nonfiction personal things before that but never anything like this world. It's been an adventure, to say the least haha

6- What is your favorite Choices book, and what is your favorite Choices book to write about?

My favorite book is probably Blades of Light and Shadow, book one, but there are plenty that are really close behind. This is also the book I’d say I enjoy writing for the most because it is my favorite book, contains my favorite LI, and has one of my favorite OCs (Maiele) in it.

Though recently, I’ve been writing more for Crimes of Passion because it's more of a challenge for me. It's a different vibe between the MC and the LI and it's one I don’t often explore so I’m here for that right now. But I have a sneaky suspicion once Blades 2 drops I’ll be back on my bullshit with that again.

7- Share the first fanfic you wrote with us. Do you still like it, or would you change it if you were writing it today?

I don’t think it exists on this site anymore. Maybe in someone’s reblog? I still have it in my files. It was an Ethan x MC drabble featuring my MC, Merida. I still like it. I’d not change it cuz I’m a firm believer in writing it and don’t look back haha.

This is it:

He swallowed the lump forming in his throat, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to form in his eyes. There it was. He had told her. Dr. Banerji was dying and Ethan was at a loss as to what was ailing his mentor and friend. Ethan stared at the young woman in front of him and then to the floor. He cleared his throat and made a small motion to turn back into Naveen’s room but froze instantly the moment he noticed her take a step towards him.

She threw her arms around him and hugged him, wishing to take away all of his pain, all of his loneliness. Silently willing him to understand that she cared for him. Cared deeply for him and much more than she should. “Ethan. I’m so sorry,” she whispered, one hand stroked through his hair while the other grasped his neck and slowly bent his head toward her shoulders as she raised herself to her tiptoes to meet him halfway.

He tensed upon feeling her arms around him. Arms, he thought to himself, that he had imagined holding him for a number of weeks now. Ever since that night spent sitting up with her watching little baby Ethan. “Merida,” he sighed as he gradually relaxed into the embrace.

She didn’t let up on the hug, squeezing him to her just a bit more tightly. God, she had wanted to comfort him when Dolores died but she didn’t know how he would respond. Now, he was facing the possibility of another friend dying and she couldn’t help herself.

He responded to the increased pressure of her hug and tightened his own hold upon her. Finding himself tracing circles up her spine and imagining what it would feel like to move his hands to tease along the skin of her back where her pants met her shirt.

Her breath caught when she felt his hands move lower. No longer making gentle movements along her spine but increasing their pressure upon her body, nearly massaging their way lower. She brought one of her own hands around to his chest, lightly bunching his white coat in her fist to try and pull him closer to her.

A loud crash echoed down the hall. “Shit!” a construction worker cursed. The two doctors jumped back from each other both staring into each other’s eyes seeming to question if they had both felt the same in the other’s arms. She blushed slightly. “I should see to my other patients. Dr. Banerji’s condition stays between us. Understand, Rookie?” he stated, his eyes narrowing. She nodded and he turned and marched down the hall.

8- What is your favorite fic that you’ve written?

I love asking this question of others but don’t like it asked of me. I’m so bad at self-rep and advertising my wares 😂 But if I had to pick one, I’d say this one. It was so far outside my comfort zone when it came to writing that I almost abandoned it two paragraphs in. But I’m a stubborn person, and I refused to let it beat me. Plus, I had been wanting to write a noir fic for this book since it was released. Furthermore, I adore Hayden’s work too much not to gift a little something back for all the art he shares with us, so I knew I just had to make it work.

9- Do you have a fic that you didn’t expect to be well received, but it was? What about one you expected to be but found could use a little more love?

I didn’t expect last year’s Luck of the Draw fic to garner much love. Attention? Maybe. But not love and definitely not the response I got. I really enjoyed writing that one. 

10- If you could write only angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why? 

Fluff. I’m a sucker for happy-ever-afters and an endless hopeless romantic. Give me the fluff. All the fluff. 

I pull a lot of what I toss into my silly drabbles from real life. Always been a believer in writing, most often what you know, and sprinkle that all with a dash of the stuff you don’t as a treat. And my life is pretty fluffy thanks to my incredible partner. 

However, I do so adore angst I’m just not able to write it often because it hurts more to write. But I’ll always always read it. That pain is *chef’s kisses*

11- Do you ever recognize yourself in any of your MCs or in your writing?

Maiele, my Blades MC, is most definitely me coded. His whole personality, his choice of partner when it comes to personality, his constant flirting with said partner, his sense of humor, his lack of a filter most times, it’s all pretty much me. Gabriel, my CoP MC, is me when it comes to romantic gestures and Valentine’s Day. I may be a romantic, but I get weird when it’s aimed at me 😂 

12- What element of writing do you struggle with most?

Editing. I refuse to do it. I hate it with the burning light of a thousand suns. Those of you that manage to edit your fics have all my admiration. I honestly don’t know how y’all do it. Doesn’t it just bore you to no end? 

13- Do you have any neglected work you really want to finish?

I have more drafts than I care to admit. I would like to complete a series I started long ago for Ethan x Merida, but I don’t know if I’ll ever do that. I’d settle for finishing one of my drafts 😅

14- If someone you know in real life (who isn’t involved in fandoms) asked to read your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you recommend they read first? 

Nope, haha, I’d not be able to do that. If I were that brave, I’d recommend this one maybe. I do so love Flynn. Or this one, mostly because I do so love the idea of Gabriel just pouting on the couch.

15 - Are there any writers (published authors and/or fanfic writers) who influenced your writing?

Not really. I mean all of em probably. I read a lot of books in a lot of genres. Mostly I use my drabbles as morning warm ups for my day job. 

There are definitely fanfic writers I admire around here that encourage me to share my silly things everyday. Especially all those queer writers out there that have a rather thankless existence sometimes around here but keep sharing their stories! They are all my heroes!!

16- Which one of your stories would you most like to see as a movie/series? 

Any and all of my Maiele and Tyril stories. I just love them sooooo much!!

17- Do you write original fiction? 

Yes, but until recently, I wrote mostly nonfiction.

I do have a fic I began a few years back when I was still teaching. I had a student who hated their writing class, so I promised to write a short story alongside them and read it to the class like all the students had to if they gave it an honest go. 

They did and so I did too, and I was asked the following year to do it again by more students and so I continued the same story. I’ve since continued that same fic, and maybe someday I’ll actually go looking to publish it. 

18 -  What other hobbies do you have?

I love the outdoors. Hiking, spelunking, kayaking, gardening, camping, anything and everything outdoors. My other favorite hobby, which I've done for years and years, is fencing. I still am part of a club and teach a few levels. 

19 - What’s your favorite emoji? 

😅 because it’s legit my state of existence at this point in life. 

20: BONUS - tell us anything you’d like (if you want to).

I want to send a special shout-out to all the absolutely lovely participants of August’s writer appreciation event I hosted. I still cannot believe y’all did this for me. 😘 These are each of my favorite fics you’ve written. Thank you for making our fandom a little brighter each and every day!

@aallotarenunelma Bathed in Sunlight @coffeeheartaddict2 Moths to a Flame @karahalloway A Leviathan Surprise @jerzwriter A Mother's Journal @ladylamrian Ma Cherie @mydemonsdrivealimo Run, Run @peonyblossom We're Gonna Get Married @petiteboheme Familia @storyofmychoices Passing Shower @tessa-liam All is Fair in Love and War @trappedinfanfiction What's In a Name? Lily's Top Three Commissions can be found here:

Crimes of Passion by @javsarts

A Year of Kisses by various artists: @lethendralis-paints @cashweasel @kundool @deheerkonijn @javsarts @weetlebeetle @kollapsar @mooreaux @rosefuckinggenius @/ArtbyAinna (IG) @littlestpersimmon @callmebeem

Trystan x Noel by @rosefuckinggenius

#cfwc writer of the month #playchoices #choices the stories you play #lilyoffandoms #choices fic writers creations #choices fanfiction #choices fanart

[lantur]

updates,

I was pretty stressed last Saturday because I was feeling mentally burned out and exhausted and had to work for part of the day, representing my organization at an event and making a presentation :/ It ended up going well, I met some nice people, and got an interesting idea for my next work project. The rest of the day was wonderful - Derek and I played board games and went out for dinner at our favorite neighborhood Chinese restaurant. ❤️ We've been eating out a lot less over the last six months or so, just like once a month, so it was a special treat.

Sunday was a great day. I had a fun morning workout and went to a horror play at Theater Mu. I love them - they're the largest Asian American theater company in the Midwest and their shows are always so well written and acted. I'm really happy to have been able to attend more plays over the last six months or so. Living in a place with so many local theater companies is my favorite part of living in the Twin Cities.

I also made a new recipe for dinner that night that turned out super well - hot honey crispy baked salmon bowls with broccoli. :)

I have been limping and crawling through this work week. Work has been overwhelming for almost a month straight. I'm grateful to have a leadership role, but it's challenging and exhausting to not just work on my own solo projects and to-do list items, but to lead and support others every time they have a problem or need something, which is often.

This week also became challenging because my mom reached out to me on Tuesday night (a day after my last post on here where I said that I was sure I hadn't heard the last from her yet, ironically) and told me she was planning on moving to India later this year. I had to handle that conversation in a more polite way than "don't let the door hit you on your way out." Talking to her, as always, brought up a lot of negative feelings. She said she wants to see me before she leaves, but I held off on committing to that - partly because of the reason below.

On a more positive note, I had my long awaited appointment with my new OB-GYN yesterday :) I really like her. She's experienced, she's from the same culture as I am, and she left me feeling with a sense of knowledge and optimism about this whole pre-conception and conception process. I'm going to go off the pill when my current pill pack is over at the end of March and then start tracking my cycle to see what it is like, if/when I ovulate, etc. I have PCOS, so the question of whether I ovulate naturally is yet to be determined. I've been on the pill for my entire adult life and during my teenage years to treat PCOS, so I'm curious and a bit nervous to see what happens when I'm off it. I'm curious and excited to see if/when I could conceive this year.

I'm writing this while I wait at the airport for my flight to Tokyo. This trip snuck up on me after I booked it. As recently as last week, I thought that my trip was 3 weeks away - even though I theoretically knew it started on March 7. Then I realized March 7 was next Thursday and not 3 weeks away. 🤦🏾‍♀️

I'm really excited to have this time for myself. I push myself really hard at work, at home, and with personal development goals. I enjoy what I do. I like grocery shopping and cooking, I like working out, I like studying Spanish every day. I even like my job, most of the time. But sometimes it just feels exhausting to juggle it all, and it's so nice to take time where I'm not doing anything for anyone else but myself. :) It feels especially timely because I hope to start my master's in social work program in September, and I hope to possibly be growing the family by then too!

#lanturing

[linaket]

Monthly Update (Feb 6, 2024)

It has definitely been... a January. This year, I had a lot of plans and goals relating to my writing, but a lot of them are already not going through. One was to do weekly or monthly updates, kind of like when I did weekly updates while working on TS. But, it's still early in the year, so I figure its better late than never. Also still early in the month even if I didn't manage to get this out there at the end of January...

My personal life has been a bit hectic. First thing was that some major projects in the house I planned to have completed last year were finally finished this month--I have all new windows installed in my house now, and a new door, and while I didn't personally do the windows (I did install the door, though) it takes a lot of time to prep before and clean up after reno projects and get the house back in order, so I've spent the last two weeks on this. Additionally, I'd applied for a promotion at work, and then was coated in stress waiting for the results... (which I received a few days ago... and I got it! Been a long time coming, really.)

So this is the first one of these... just gonna throw things out here and decide on a format as they go.

Books Read

Finally completed The Fifth Season trilogy by N. K. Jemison. I wanted to finish this one last year, but the last book lingered into the new year.

All the Hidden Paths by Foz Meadows

The Salt Grows Heavy by Cassandra Khaw

The Dead Take The A Train by Cassandra Khaw & Richard Kadrey

Important Posts

I shared a summary of my 2024 writing goals/wips on instagram. I meant to bring this over to tumblr and do a bit more on it but... didn't. Maybe this month?

Shadow's Prey: Act 1 wip intro here on tumblr

Writing

30k on Mortal Teeth. 15 chapters done of.. ?? a lot probably. 40 something, at least, if not 50-60 range. This completed the second major arc/goalpost (there are about 5 of these at the moment)

Shadow's Prey: Act 1 formatting is moving along well, and so it's still on time for a March release. I may aim more for mid March, depends on how quickly I'm able to finish up the extras and get some promo in. I really wish I could figure out exactly what size image it takes to make a full-page image in ebooks, but I think I'm going to have to settle for the title page not being... perfect. Which. Does not make me happy. But there really isn't a way to appease every e-reader, as they are all different sizes, so I am finding there is only so much I can control here.

Favorite Excerpt

I wrote a lot of things in Mortal Teeth that I was proud of this past month, but one of my favorite things I ran across when writing was realizing that my writing has improved... massively. It's been a while since I've had a leap of growth that I can easily pinpoint, but the extra I planned for SP Act 1 was partially written, and I needed to work on it. I kept getting stuck on continuing because something about it felt off/forced when I tried, so I did the classic open a new doc and retype/rework as I go... and quickly realized why I was having trouble working on it. My style had shifted dramatically....

This isn't a major point in the short, but I wrote the beginning of this around the middle of last year and it went from this:

Whereas Kanna actively ignored Masao’s approach, Ira glared at him in challenge. “Here,” Kanna said, drawing Ira’s attention by offering Amon’s reins as a lead. “Find someone to tend him, and get me a count of the survivors.” Masao’s voice at her back carried a smirk she could feel between her shoulder blades. “What about the casualties?”

to this:

While Ira glared at Masao in challenge, Kanna actively ignored him. Though she was coated with the blood of those she’d killed, her hands to her wrists to her elbows with it, Masao delighted in his stain. Even here, with the smell of death in the air and the unholy silence that followed battle, he smiled. The joy he radiated amidst destruction unsettled her, something deep inside of her flinching from it. Kanna gathered Amon’s reins, drawing Ira’s attention by offering them. “Find someone to tend him, and get me a count of the survivors.” Masao’s voice at her back carried a smirk she could feel between her shoulder blades. “What about the casualties?”

Final Thoughts

I was excited to get through another phase of MT in writing, but I don't think the time I've allotted to finish the draft is going to be enough. This stresses me out a bit, because I gave myself a pretty tight schedule for the year with all the releases (there are 4 ebooks, and I was considering restarting Act 4 in the serial which would be 5 releases total....)

I'm actually... thinking once again that I won't go back to serial posting for SP. Tapas was/is my primary platform for it, and I am simply... no longer a fan of the platform, and not really interested in others, either. So that might be one of the things in the "coming this year" that ends up pushed to next year or later this year, depending, as it will likely be an ebook release instead of serial and... I'm still working on drafting the teeth wip and I don't see it taking a backseat for a while, until I'm truly stuck.

I've been trying not to beat myself up about not doing the things I said I'd do at the start of the year (daily journaling, more updates here and other platforms, etc) because it's simply... not great for me. And really, I'm not sure I would have had the aforementioned improvement in my writing if I'd continued to stress myself out about writing itself, on top of doing all these other things that I'm supposed to do. I took it pretty easy last year after a massive disappointment, shutting down a lot of my online presence and focusing on reading and writing for myself, and I think that's what allowed me to become comfortable again and led to growth. I don't want to feel as defeated as I had that time, because its the kind of thing that would have led to me completely giving up in my younger years, and I also don't want to get stagnant because I'm trying to do too much that isn't... the actual writing. So... I guess we'll see how this goes?

#linaupdates #writeblr

[altschmerzes]

💔 | ☺️ | 🎲

gonna go with wriggle up on dry land again (baby jamie au) because i'm on a roll with it so-

💔 Share your most heartbreaking line.

SO THERE ARE UH. MANY. AS IM SURE YOU CAN IMAGINE. so here's just. one of them, so far. this is a bit longer, but-

“Jamie?” Though he already knew the answer, Ted was so hoping he was wrong. He isn’t. The person’s head rises from where it had been pressed into his knees, which were pulled to his chest with his arms tight around them, and he looks over at Ted. Upon seeing who’d spoken to him, the expression on Jamie’s face goes from a dull tiredness immediately into shock and embarrassment. Ted feels his heart lurch and skip in his chest, his breath catching and a spike of cold going down his spine. Something is wrong, he thinks. Something is wrong. Something is wrong. “You’re out late, kid,” he says, trying to keep his voice calm and casual. He tucks his hands into his pockets and stands there by the bench as if this is a perfectly ordinary way to run into someone at a perfectly ordinary time. “‘Specially with this lovely weather we’re having.” The rain seems to fall harder as if just to spite them, just to make Ted feel that much more uneasy. “So are you.” The response is a muted challenge, so subdued it barely sounds like Jamie at all.

☺️ Share a happy line.

Seeing Sam’s reaction is everything. And then right after Sam’s reaction on Ted’s list of reasons why this job is worth it every moment and then some is the reaction of his teammates as well. Seeing how happy it made them to make Sam happy is the first time since Ted arrived that he really feels like he’s watching a team interact. It’s bolstering in a way he can’t quite describe.

🎲 Using a method of your choosing, share a randomly-selected line.

since i was talking about my uh. ahem. 'research' last night, here's this-

“I dunno, Coach, I think they might surprise us this year. Or, you know, maybe at least wait until the season actually starts before you write them off, come on. Opening day’s not til March,” Ted says, taking a sip of his coffee and smiling into the cup when Beard snorts in response. “Maybe if they weren’t coming fresh off two seasons with over a hundred losses that might be more persuasive. You gotta stop living in 2015.” Ah, 2015. Beautiful year for Kansas baseball, that’s for sure. Rather than continue debating the merits of the current and far less magical outlook of his home city’s place in America’s pastime, Ted basks in the memory of that instead.

#gav gab #gav answers #long post #LONG ONE BUT. I AM ENJOYING MYSELF WAY TOO MUCH #thank you anon........ #i have such a loose definition of 'line' at this point lmfao #fic: wriggle up on dry land #ask box games #writing liveblog

[voulezloux]

annual writing self-evaluation

thank you lou @nouies for the tag! having to do self reflection is hard yall

also i wrote this on a google doc so ignore the fact everything is properly capitalized

1. List of works published this year:

One chance (kiss him you fool)

Nights like these

Your right now, your forever, your last call, your whatever

Defying stars

Always had that heart of mine

Part time soulmates (full time problem)

It’s the summer of our love

If it feels like love (then it must be love)

Make my wish come true

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

Defying stars! I’ve always wanted to write a marching band au and i finally got to do it. I’m also proud of part time soulmates (full time problem) because it was so much fun to write

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

I am not very happy with how one chance (kiss him you fool) turned out. I had so many idea for it and none of them came to fruition. I wish i spent more time working on it and i wish i could describe things better than i can

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

From part time soulmates (full time problem)

Harry nods, continuing his tirade on a table. “Why don’t you want to bond?”

Louis freezes mid throw. “What?”

“You said you didn’t want to bond when we first found out. What makes you not want to bond?” 

Louis throws the plate on the ground. “That’s a bit personal, innit?” He laughs. “My mum.”

The air is filled with a sad smell, obviously coming from Louis. Harry resists the urge to wrap his arm around the omega, to comfort him. His stomach is turning in a bad way, and he wants to take back the question. 

Before he can, Louis continues, “My mum was bonded three times, twice it failed. Watching her go through the pain of breaking a bond was awful, and I had to protect my siblings from seeing the worst of it. I always…” He sighs. “I always thought I’d be an alpha so I could control when I would get bonded. But then I presented as an omega and I, I don’t know. I guess everything changed and I didn’t want to go through the pain an omega would have to go through if a bond was broken.”

Harry is left speechless, and it’s harder now to not want to console the omega. “Louis…”

“No, don’t do that,” Louis points the plate in his hand he was going to throw at Harry. “You’re not about to feel bad for the poor omega who has trauma. You’re going to smash this plate and you’re going to be mad.”

I always love strong, independent omega louis and this is by far one of my favorite examples of this

5. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

I always love when people respond to my author’s notes at the end. Idk it makes me feel like people actually care about what i’m writing and i’m not just screaming into the void. I have a lot of issues with feeling like my works are liked and/or loved and that people care about what i’m writing, so when people read and respond to my author’s notes, it makes me feel seen.

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

Whenever i get close to a deadline, i start panicking even if i have the fic most of the way finished. So, deadlines man.

7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

I wrote two rare pairs this year and one of them included ryan ross! Writing ryan was a challenge since i’ve not written anything that wasn’t larry or phan in years, and i’m very happy with how that fic turned out.

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

I have no idea. Someone tell me how i grew as a writer bc i’m los

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

Hopefully more fics that are of my own will (meaning non fic fest fics, all but one of my fics this year was a fic fest fic, and the one that wasn’t from a fest was an exchange). I have ideas that have been put on the back burner due to fic fests.

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

All of my friends, but especially rei (they don’t use tumblr anymore). I met rei during phandom big bang one year (they were my beta) and, even though they are into kpop and i’m into 1d, rei always listens to my coked up ideas for fics i wanna write and even the fics i read. Love you bro (even though you won’t see this) (jk i'll show this to them)

Bonus mentions for fandom friends are lou (@nouies) and andi (@tommokat). Lou because she is a wonderful person and always gasses me up when needed and andi because she lets me bounce ideas off of her and helps me with my fics.

11. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

Yes! Defying stars i stole a lot of things from that fic from my real life in high school. Biggest example from that fic is the marching band show from my freshman year, which was also called starcrossed!

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

Do not get discouraged if a fic you are excited about doesn’t perform well with readers. Fic in it of itself is self indulgent and as long as you like it, it’s worth writing. If people also enjoy it, then it’s a bonus.

13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

I’m writing in my first ever 1d big bang! I don’t want to give out too many details (it involves a non conventional character and i’m deathly terrified of backlash) but it’s a labor of love. I’ve been wanting to write this kind of fic for a long time and i’m glad i have an opportunity to write it.

14. Tag three writers whose answers you’d like to read!

@tommokat @larryatendoftheday and @alwaysxlarrie

*All answers should be about works published in 2023

#o posts #my fic #thank u lou for the tag! #self reflection is hard but i enjoyed it

[doverjazzghost]

it's the new year's post!!

I'm not putting this under a read more bc tumblr keeps changing the website and idk where the function even is anymore. 2023 was actually pretty good! I had some huge huge growth/good developments in a lot of areas of my life: - I started voice lessons in March and working on singing has been really rewarding. Experiencing music in a different way has been challenging and it's wild feeling like a beginner at something musical again. I even did a vocal audition and sang solo in front of other people, which was a huge anxiety step for me. -My other music stuff has been going really well! I had one of my arrangements played live and 3 of my other arrangements have been recorded and mixed into tracks (2 of which were mixed by me). I also performed with a Real Professional Orchestra as a vocalist which was wild. - I finally got medical help for my headaches. I just though multi-day headaches were normal? at least for me?? but I had a lot of friends push me to go to someone about it and I guess a really effective migraine medication was developed in 2019? It's taken away 90% of my headaches and a lot of brain fog and ambient pain and it's wild to me that everyone else's lives had been like this. -I have travelled (a little bit). I still have a bit of anxiety around travelling, but I managed to go to DC, Pennsylvania, and Massachusetts and I went to 3 conventions. - My anxiety has been a lot better around driving and being out in public. - I didn't get sick at all this year! Which seems like a small thing but after the year I had last year, I am VERY grateful for that. The goals from the 2023 post: -have a symphonic arrangement I've made be performed live Yes!! Also going to have another piece performed in May 2024 and probably December 2024 -actually do it, actually travel this time Yes. I didn't get on a plane, but I did car and train travel. Also booked a trip for me and the geef to Canada for April next year and that is Real Travel. -go back to working on my anxiety and agoraphobia Yes. It isn't really fully gone (bc I think it never will be) but I am in a much better place with that. I am buying groceries in person lol. -finish this Dnd campaign lol Yes! The campaign wrapped in November? Starting a new one early 2024 and I am actually writing this one for pray for me -be more proactive in reaching out to people Kind of? I can maybe only think of 2 or 3 examples of me inviting people to do things but at least that's more than 0 lol. -focus on craftsmanship in the things that I make Eeeehhh. I actually didn't make a ton of art things this year. I did 1 cosplay, some accessories, and a few crochet plushes. I am trying to research more and I think I'm more comfortable in taking apart and re-doing thing until they're right but I definitely think I can push it more.

The goals for 2024:

Still try to reach out to people more both talking and hanging out!

Use my phone less (especially watching less short form video lol). I have already been working on this but I want to commit harder.

Work out more consistently. The really good headache medicine gives me a little fatigue which has made working out harder.

Push myself to learn new techniques re: art, cosplay, music

Get a new job. Things Have Changed at my current job and I'm just not feeling it anymore. That is the post! Happy new bear!! ฅ՞•ﻌ•՞ฅ

#2 feels 2 furious

[manysmallhands]

Fear Of Mu21c - Introductory notes

(Over in the dying embers of Twitter, a group of us are going to spend October and November attempting to list our 50 favourite singles of the 21st century before compiling a definitive chart from all of the entries. Personally, I have have also taken it upon myself to write a blogpost about each and every one of them. Having covered about 20 in last year's challenge (where we made a more comprehensive list of our favourites from the punk era onwards) I've been left with about 30 to do, all of which now exist in various stages of completion and will go up one by one as the challenge progresses. It's been a fun task to work on but one that's left me with a few thoughts, both about how i've viewed new music in the 21st century and how that's changed as time's gone on. So i decided to write about that as well. NOW READ ON...)

One of the ideas that this challenge is based on (it’s right there in the title) is that there’s a comfort zone of classic artists and records that middle aged music nerds build around ourselves which stops us from noticing all the great music that’s still being made as we get older. While this might be the case for a lot of people, my circumstances have meant that I have a different take on this. In March of 2000 I returned from university for just about the last time, chronically ill with a severity that wouldn’t really improve for well over a decade and about to be cut off from the life that I’d known forever. While I can confidently say that This Was Bad imo, it also meant that my perspective on new music changed in Unpredictable Ways.

The first big shift was that, between about 2001 and 2005, I was too sick to listen to any music whatsoever: couldn’t concentrate, could barely read or talk much either, just was not engaged with the rest of the world at all. This ofc had Many Implications For My Existence, but what it did musically was to cut me entirely adrift from everything that I’d listened to before. The result was that, when I was a little better in 06/07, I was both absolutely desperate to know what new stuff was going on and also entirely uninterested in the music that I already knew, which belonged to a different lifetime that didn’t appear to be coming back. It’s not that I didn’t like it, or it was painful to hear, or anything like that at all: I just didn’t really care much about it anymore. This is something that stuck with me for a very long time afterwards, and became even more of a thing once my illness improved and I was able to engage with new music on the internet. Fear of music? Fuck that. This is my era.

But if there is something that I have been scared of, it’s stepping outside of my musical lanes. During my illness, I’ve had to spend long periods of time entirely on my own. This, along with the end of the media monoculture (which I’d have been cut off from anyway), has meant that, rather than being exposed to different kinds of music as I’d have been during an earlier time, I’ve ended up just listening to the one thing I like and then carried on listening to just that one thing for well over a decade. For me, this was largely indie guitar music: firstly white guys with guitars and then, once I started to dig down a bit, white ladies with guitars as well (this represented branching out). Some of this was to do with functional issues; if you only listen to music whilst sat down indoors then you tend towards things that are less beat driven; if you feel sick every time you move, you just want to stick an album on and leave it there. But still, even writing these things down now feels like an excuse and, certainly from about 2014 onwards, much of it came down to the fact that I lacked either the confidence to change or the impetus to do so: I knew that there was other good music around but i really just couldn’t be arsed to find it.

But eventually I did get bored, and so in recent years I began to brave the often novel territory of electronic pop, RnB, hip hop and classic rock. These were things that I either hadn’t listened to much since I was a teen or in fact had never even looked into before at all. And here I will admit to being, for want of a better word, scared. I find myself coming up against barriers in my thinking that should have been obvious but which I’d never really thought much about; assumptions I’ve made about different kinds of music (I won’t listen to it if I buy it, I listen to albums and those acts can’t really do albums, this kind of x is good but that other kind never is, etc) that tended to boil down to a sense that they were, not so much inferior (tho I’m certain that some sort of indie snobbery is baked in), but somehow not the kind of thing that I was supposed to listen to. Over a period of many years, taking this attitude had locked me into what amounted to a tiny pigpen on the musical landscape.

Looking at the list I’ve compiled, I feel like I’ve made some progress in breaking out of this - indeed I can look at particular acts and remember not long ago a genuine sense of “oh I can’t possibly buy that” around them that feels ridiculous to me now. But seeing the dominance of guitars here and a general homogeneity of sound, template and/or public profile that is only rarely departed from, I guess that this is where my fear of music continues to lie. To what extent that means that there are simply things that i like and things that i don't is debatable: of course we will always have our preferences and there's no point pretending otherwise. But the problem is that i can still sense those musical barriers: habits have become ingrained over time and there are some things which remain more equal than others. May I continue to loosen my chains. 

#21st century music #FearOfMu21c #personal #musings #chronic illness #pigpens #music

[snaillamp]

June of Doom - Day 7 Old Man’s Bones

So, uh, I’m gonna admit defeat for @juneofdoom. I got a massive cold and didn’t write for days and so I can’t be bothered to catch up now. I’m also a little burnt out. I’ll still finish the challenge I’ll just be a bit late. It’s not a writing challenge if the universe does everything it can to make you not do it right? Anyway, I wrote this one to be a bit different to the others, I like it. ************************************************

Masterlist

Day 7: “What’s the bad news?” | Disoriented | Bite | Chainsaw |


CW: Animal death

Mathias nodded, raising the chainsaw. “What’s the bad news?” He yelled as he guided the teeth into the side of the old, rotted tree. “Well, the bad news is that no one knows where he went.” Laura covered her ears from the grating sound of the chainsaw. The tree leaned, making a loud creaking sound and then crashed down beside Mathias. “Aight. So what am I supposed to do about it?” Mathias asked, picking up a small hand axe and swinging lazily it as he walked back towards his cabin.

It was small, moss covered and honestly quite cozy. A small trail of smoke danced lazily out of the chimney.  An autumn wind rippled through the trees, making them whisper. Laura followed the man towards his cabin. “The best person for this job is you, you know the mountain like the back of your hand Mathias.” The man looked up at the young woman, well dressed in her freshly pressed uniform. “And if I don’t?” He pulled his long matted hair out of a lose pony tail. His black hair was mixed with more silvery grey since the last time she saw him. Hell, that was years ago now that she thought about it. The man’s black eyes met Laura’s, and his weathered, tanned skin creased with a sad smile. “What exactly happened? Who am I dealing with here, hey?”

He had leaned his chainsaw against the wall of his cabin, along with his axe and slid off the thick protective gloves. He shrugged off the warm jacket he was wearing, revealing a sweat stained t-shirt underneath. He shivered when the wind snaked its way around his body. “Love this time of year.” He smiled to himself, running his hand through his hair. “Been chopping all day, I’m too warm.” Laura rolled her eyes, “Don’t change the subject. Will you help or not?” Mathias stared at the young police officer again, “What am I getting into?”

Laura groaned in annoyance, before plopping down on the steps to the cabin. Mathias eased down next to her, stretching his leg out and wincing a little. He was bigger than her, stronger too, but what else would you expect from a wild man who lives in the woods? He wasn’t particularly tall though, so he could stare at Laura from her eye level when he stood. Now, he rested his elbows on his knees and stared at the ground beneath his feet.

“A man kidnapped a woman and disappeared into the woods with her. We can’t track him. We have to find him before he… does something bad.” Laura made a face, she couldn’t divulge information like this but she had no choice, their police force consisted of six people including her, and they could not afford to call in the search helicopter. Not that it would come anyway, a front was coming, it wouldn’t be able to search in the thick mist.

“So you came to me to find your man. Right. That sounds about par-for-the-course.” Mathias stroked his chin. “Mathias, please, you’re our last resort. The woman… it’s… Larissa’s sister, Maeve.” Laura looked down sheepishly, she shouldn’t have said that. “You shouldn’t’a said that.” Mathias eyed the officer. Laura nodded, feeling tears well up in her eyes.

“I should go.” She stood, brushing the dirt off her pants, and turning to Mathias, she scowled. “You know, I figured that you might want to do one good thing with your life. But I guess I thought wrong.” She marched to her car, ripping open the door angrily. When she was halfway into the seat, she heard Mathias’ voice. “Wait. Let me grab some shit ’n lock up. I’ll be 10 minutes.” The man eased himself up slowly from the stair, gritting his teeth, before swallowing the pain and walking into the cabin. He still had a slight limp.

Laura sat back in the car seat, waiting for the man to return. He did, wearing a thick leather jacket, heavy combat boots that thumped along the verandah of the cabin and a small bag. He plodded over to the car, throwing the bag in the back seat, before getting in the front with Laura. “Let’s get going. I smell rain.” He muttered, flicking his hair behind his shoulders. Laura turned the car on with a rumble, and pulled away from the cabin.

In the corner of her eye, she watched the man sitting next to her. He wasn’t particularly old, only in his early 50’s. He smelled like smoke and pine needles, and stared blankly at the road, eyes glazed over. He was deep in thought. “So tell me, what do I need to know.” He finally asked, leaning back into the seat.

Laura explained that Maeve had gone missing two days ago, but they had no idea where she was. Then they had received word from the district over that a man had gone missing, that man was under investigation for murder. It lined up too well, Maeve was in her early 30’s, brunette and tall, she had disappeared walking home in the evening. All matching suspected victims of the man, Peter Shaw.

Laura told the man everything she could think of about Peter, he was an avid survivalist, a hunter and had been missing for two days. He disappeared when Maeve had gone missing. Larissa was beside herself. “So what, you couldn’t get some fancy city tracker out here? You had to come to me? Why?” Laura gripped the wheel, “Cause you’re the best we got Math, you have more skill than anyone in the force… and Larissa wanted you out there. She suggested it.”

Mathias looked uncomfortable at this, “She- fuck.” He looked out the window. “Riss.” He sighed, looking frustrated. “I just want to be left alone, Laws.” Laura looked at the man, a shadow seem to have cast itself over him, and he cast his eyes down to his knees. A small strand of hair down his face, but he ignored it as it hung there, limply. “After what happened, I just want peace… and quiet.” He stretched his knee out, rubbing his leg and letting out a soft grunt. “Shit.” Laura glanced over at him, “You right?” Mathias shook his head, “Just cramps.”

The car rolled up to a small clearing. There was a white tent set up, sheltering computers and radios from water, and police milling around. Dogs barked as the exited the car, Mathias stretching his leg as he got out. He stamped his boots in the ground and opened the back door, grabbing his bag. Tucking his hair behind his ear as it fell around his face, a little flicker of a scar on his neck flashed as it settled over his shoulder.

The two people walked over to the tent, where the Chief of Police was standing. Laura coughed as they entered, causing the big man to turn around. He raised his eyebrows surprised. “Greene. Didn’t think ya’d actually get Wild Man out here.” He nodded down nervously at Mathias, who was, despite his smaller stature compared to the Chief, was holding his ground with a scowl. The Chief took a subconscious step back. “Paul.” Mathias acknowledged, before walking past him, deeper into the tent. He stood observing the map, tracing the marks of pathways with his fingers, following the contour lines of the tall mountains. He stopped somewhere, along a cliff line, tapping it thoughtfully. 



The five available officers, including Laura and the Chief wandered into the forest to show the tracker where to begin. After being wandering for half an hour, they came to the spot where they had found the evidence. A small, torn piece of red clothing was tangled in a sharp bush. It was the exact colour of the shirt that Maeve had been wearing. Mathias lowered himself down to the ground, examining the boot print in the mud. Pulling a small torch from his bag and shone it on the imprint, examining it from all angles. Looking around he began to wander around the area, stopping a few meters away from the group, in a tangle of blackberry bushes.

He whistled, short and sharp, indicating the team to come over. 

He pointed a finger at the bush, showing the shred of denim tangled in the thorns. It was barely noticeable, a small speck of fluff really, but it was there. “How did you find that?” Laura asked in shock. Mathias pointed to a sapling nearby. “Branch bent this way, he dragged her off the path. That patch of grass was trodden on. Bush been disturbed, the ripe berries fell off.” He pointed at a few scattered blackberries on the ground, too fresh to have fallen off on their own. “Happened recently too, they aren’t dry yet.”

He stood, following a path through the trees. The group followed the man as mist began to curl around their feet, an officer was marking their trail with a line of police tape. A fat raindrop splattered on Laura’s nose. Groans emerged from the group as the rain began to fall around them. “Guys! I’m calling it!” The Chief yelled as the rain began to fall stronger. Laura turned around. “I’m fine! Let us go together!” She pulled the raincoat she had managed to nab from the tent around her. Her hair was becoming plastered to her face. The Chief looked between Mathias and Laura, she could tell he didn’t want to, but he also had no choice. “Come back by nightfall. You have your radios?”

They both nodded and continued into the woods as the group left them behind. 

Mathias didn’t seem to be bothered by the rain, pulling his hair off his face, he continued through the mist and rain. He would stop occasionally, examining the ground, a rock kicked out of place or a broken twig. Occasionally he would wander off in a different direction.

But before too long, he stopped. “Too misty.” He remarked, looking at the waist high mist surrounding them. “Do you know where we are?” Laura asked, looking up at the tall Fir trees surrounding them. “Roughly.” Mathias looked out into the misty forest. Laura snorted, “Bullshit.” “Come on. Let’s shelter.” Mathias pulled her further.

They both began walking slowly through the mist, occasionally stumbling on rocks or logs. Laura yelped as she almost fell into the mud. Mathias whirled around and caught her, steadying her, but grimacing as he did. “Right?” He asked, looking at Laura’s pink nose.

She sniffed, pulling the jacket around her. “Yeah, just went ’n cold.” Mathias nodded, before reaching down and feeling the ground. He found Laura’s foot caught under a root, pulling it free. “Caves should be nearby.” He looked around curiously, “We aren’t lost but I don’ know exactly where we are, mm?” He tried to comfort the cold police officer who started to shiver. “Shit Math, just admit you’re lost.”

Mathias shook his head, “Nah, I know roughly where we are, but I want to be careful. This part is a little patchy, trip hazards, cliff faces and caves ’n shit.” “That’s bullshit, we’re lost.” Laura protested as he pulled his torch from his bag, shining it at the ground. “Stay close Laws.” He held his hand out behind him. Laura grabbed it, and together they stumbled through the forest again, the torch doing little to help.

Suddenly, Mathias yanked Laura’s arm, pulling her to the ground. Before she could protest, a hand clamped down on her mouth. She looked over at Mathias, who shook his head. 

Heavy footsteps cracked twigs as a large shadow appeared in the mist. A massive bear trampled through the trees, stopping and sniffing the air. It let out a growl, staring in the direction of the two people. Laura reached instinctively for her gun but Mathias pressed is hand down slightly against her face, ‘No’. She paused, still as a statue.

The bear walked closer, and Laura heard Mathias take in a slight breath, holding it in anticipation. The creature walked right by the two people, glancing in their direction for a second, letting out a grunt and moving off into the mist. Mathias and Laura lay still for a few tense minutes, until they were sure that the bear was gone. Mathias held up his chin, feeling the air, it was blowing away from the bear. “We can move.” His whisper was nearly audible.

Laura felt the adrenaline course through her body. “Shit.” She breathed to herself, fumbling for Mathias’ hand to hold again. They both stood, but Mathias stumbled a little as he regained his balance. “All this kneeling ain’t doing me any good Laws.” He glanced around before leading her along a path.

“That was insane. How the fuck did that bear not attack us?” Laura queried, still half in shock. “That’s Old Man Bear, he doesn’t have any issue with us bein’ here so long as we leave him be.” Mathias replied. “He’s a good sign, means there’s caves nearby.” Mathias took another step before stumbling, biting back a yell of pain. “Fuck.”

Laura dropped to his side as he collapsed down. “Shit. Fuck. Shit.” The man grunted obscenities as he held his leg. “Leg slipped, fuck me.” He grimaced in pain. “Gimme a minute.” He lay there, on the bare rock, breathing hard. Slowly he eased himself up, managing to stand. “Let’s go.” He grabbed Laura’s hand as he stood, before swearing again, in surprise this time. “Laws. Look.” He pointed up at a massive tree. Massive claws marks trailed their way down the trunk of the tree, bear marks. “We are so close.” He whispered, taking a step, before wincing. “Math, you’re hurt.” Laura tried to argue, but Mathias just turned and pulled her arm. “I’ll walk it off.” He reached out, tracing the claw marks down the tree. “This way.” He pulled Laura in a random direction, moving off into the trees.

Laura felt the ground rise as they traversed up a hill. Gradually the mist thinned as they got higher, “You have no idea where we are do you?” She complained as Mathias took another step. “Not really, but the Old Man does. I’m following him.” “Great so we are trespassing into a bear’s territory. Wonderful! You just have genius ideas Mathias.” Laura grumbled.

Mathias stopped, looking at her seriously. “Everywhere’s Old Man’s territory. Look, we gonna survive here or we gonna die here? I’m finding that girl and if that means living with a bear I’ll fuckin’ do it.” His voice was rough as he limped further up the hill as Laura sighed. “At least take a rest. You’re hurting.” She knew he was just trying to push on until he found somewhere they could stay safe for the night, but she was worried that would be at the cost of his own health.

Mathias continued up the hill, ignoring Laura’s plea. As they reached the crest of the hill, they were met with a cliff face. Mathias reached out, tracing the wall, as he followed it along the hill, leaning heavily on it. They smelt the cave before they saw it.

Death.

“Well, we can find another, Old Man probably doesn’t want guests.” Mathias said to himself. They followed the cliff along more, before Mathias stopped suddenly. They waited in silence, before Mathias reached into his bag, grabbing his small axe, before he glanced back at Laura and in a low voice muttered one word.

“Run.”

Laura took off, down the hill, Mathias hot on her trail. She tripped, tumbling down the slope, coming to a rest against a rock. Her shoulder screamed in pain. Mathias’ hand wrapped around her other arm, hauling her up and dragging her into the forest further.

She glanced behind her to see the shadowy figure striding through the trees. 

They came to rest behind a rock, breathing hard. Their lungs burned as the cold air chilled them. “Was.. that?” Laura asked, already knowing the answer. “Who else… could it be?” Mathias gulped, his chest heaving. They lay silent for a second, and Laura closed her eyes, trying to slow her breathing. “Boo.” A voice sounded behind them. From around the rock, the figure emerged, Peter, holding a large log. “You can’t hide from me coppers.” Mathias stood, shielding Laura. “I ain’t no cop.”

Peter swung the log at Mathias, who ducked it. Laura crawled back into the mist, trying to gain cover. If Mathias could distract him, maybe she could shoot him down. Peter swung the log again, Mathias grabbed it, holding it in his strong grip.

Laura’s hands shook with cold as she readied her gun. She aimed it but couldn’t get a clear shot. Mathias wrenched the log from Peter’s hands. He adjusted his grip and grinned. “My turn.” He swung at Peter, who jumped out of the way, then again. Peter managed to catch the log, twisting it from Mathias’ grip and throwing him off balance, before he swept his leg out, catching Mathias’ own and with a yell, Mathias dropped to the ground.

Raising the log, Peter brought it down with a sickening thud on Mathias’ head. A gasp escaped Laura as she saw the figure on the ground go limp.

Peter heard the gasp and turned towards her. The mist was growing thicker with each passing second, and the man walked off into it. The sounds of his movements sounded around her, “You can’t shoot what you can’t see, officer.” his voice taunted her. She aimed at the white clouds around her, listening for the echoing voice. She turned at the last second when a twig cracked behind her. “Too late.” Her ears rang as the log met her skull. She stumbled, stars swirling in her vision, as she saw the log come down again.

Laura woke with a start. She turned to her left to see Mathias slumped against the cave wall, staring at her. As she came to her senses, she realised they were both tied up behind her. Across the cave, a very dirty and scared woman was curled up, staring at them with tear stained cheeks. Her skin was covered in black dirt and there were sticks and leaves tangled in her hair. Laura took a second to recognise Maeve, but there she was, alive.

Mathias grunted, turning his head slowly to look at Laura. “Oh, you’re awake. Good news, we found shelter and your missing girl.” His continued in his sarcastic tone. “Bad news, the guy who made her go missing found us.” He rested his head against the cool cave wall. A black bruise was forming along his temple and down his cheek bone.

“He wouldn’t shut up either. Told me his master plan ’n shit. Worse than my headache, I was half tempted to ask him to knock me out again.” Laura glanced outside of the cave, trying to tell how long they had been out. “We’ve been out a few hours. Least that’s what she said.” He nodded in the direction of Maeve. “Where’d he go?” Laura asked, glancing around the cave. “Hunting for food I s’pose. He doesn’t have much in the way of... anything, really.” Mathias answered dryly.

Laura sat, her head pounding and tried to figure out what to do. She struggled against her bindings, noticing even her fingers had been bound together. “Bastard knows what he’s doing.” Mathias replied. “We are stuck Laws. Truly fucking stuck.” Laura sighed and shook her head. “I’m sorry, Math. I got you into this.” Mathias shook his head. “Nah, shoulda’ turned back. But we can’t change the past now. ‘N we still have a chance, we just gotta be patient.”

Maeve sobbed, before crossing the cave. Her clothes were torn up, and she was missing a shoe. “Maybe I can help?” She held out her own wrists, they were bound in front of her and her fingers were free. Maeve looked at her, then Mathias. “Quick, before he comes back.” Laura whispered, leaning forward. Maeve’s hands made quick work of the knot, and before long, Laura’s fingers were free. A crack in the distance made her jump and she scurried back across the cave, returning to her spot. Mathias closed his eyes, pretending to be unconscious.



Peter entered the cave, swinging the gun in his hand as he walked along. He whistled as he dragged the fox he’d shot along the ground. It leaked a little blood behind it. “Ohhh, you’re awake now.” He grinned, rummaging in Mathias’ bag, pulling out a knife. “Thanks for bringing him by the way, his bag of goodies makes my life a hellava lot easier.” He began the skin the fox. “Hope you like vixen.” He grinned wickedly. 



Laura felt Mathias slowly slide his hands across to her fingers. She began tugging at his rope, until his fingers wiggled free. “Don’t bother struggling. Your man already tried.” Peter didn’t look up from skinning the fox. With an expert tug he pulled the fur down the body. “Shame, she’s so pretty.” He said to himself, “Its always a shame when they are so pretty and slender.” Laura shivered, she didn’t know if he meant the fox or people at this point.


Mathias and Laura began fiddling at each other’s binds, Mathias managed to loosen a rope enough for Laura to pull her hand free. She worked on his bindings until his hand slipped free as well. Peter butchered the fox as he talked, looking over at Laura and squinting. “He’s the guy right? Wild Man?” He gestured at Mathias with is knife. Laura’s face betrayed her, as a flash of acknowledgement danced across her face. “Ahh. I see. How did that happen again?” Peter began to make a small fire.

Laura thought back to the day. She was new to the force, having only moved back to her sleepy home town.

She had been finishing up for the day when she received the call. A man had broken into a house and attacked the people inside. The address was nearby, so she hopped in her car and raced to the scene. When she arrived she found Mathias sitting in the doorway, covered in blood. A paramedic was dressing some wounds on his arm and neck, and his leg was sliced deeply along its’ length. A second paramedic was loading a stretcher with a body bag into their ambulance.

“He killed his best friend right?"

It turned out the body bag contained a man, Andrew, Mathias’ best friend. Andrew had gone on a drug induced rampage, breaking into Mathias’ home and attacking him and his wife with a knife for no reason. Only Mathias had made it out alive.

Andrew had been the father of Larissa and Maeve. They were like Mathias’ own daughters, even though he had no children of his own. Over the years, Mathias had grown distant from the small community they were all apart of. He had moved out into the woods, fixing up his grandfather’s old cabin and living off the land, earning him the nickname Wild Man.

The less people he had to interact with, the better, he had said. He become distant and angry, only every coming into town when he had to, going off at anyone who so much looked at him. He had ended up in their cells more than once, due to getting in fights, breaking things and generally being disruptive. It had been almost 10 years since it happened.

Mathias had been a friend of her father, but after the murders, he hadn’t spoken to them, except for the occasional hello if they passed in the street, but he had become a stranger.



The fox meat made a slap sound as it landed beside the fire, breaking Laura’s train of thought. Peter sat impatiently, staring at the flames, waiting for it to cook his food.

Mathias opened his eyes, staring away from them all. The memories swirled in his head, and a flash of white hot pain ripped down the scar on his neck. “Ah, welcome to the land of the living, Wild Man.” Mathias turned his eyes to Peter, staring him down with a look meant to kill. “Oh? Hungry? Sorry only so much to go around I’m afraid.” Peter picked up the chunk of flesh and shoved it in his mouth. He chewed loudly, but it was soon overshadowed by the howl of wind filling the cave.

Mathias grinned as the flames were snuffed out, leaving them in sudden darkness. Silently, he moved to the back of the cave, brushing Laura’s hand as he stood. Peter turned as he heard them move, scrambling for the knife. “Get back to your spot, both if you.” He glanced into the darkness. Mathias stayed silent as he pushed himself and Laura into the wall at the back of the cave. He patted her shoulder, indicating she should stay put. Turning slowly, he stood as moonlight began to shine in, illuminating the cave a little.

“Well, I have good news and bad news for you, Peter.” He took a step forward, raising his hands in a surrender, “I have no intention of killin’ ya.” Peter smiled, holding the knife out, ready to strike, “What’s the bad news?” Mathias raised his eyebrows, nodding behind Peter,

“He does.”

A grunt behind Peter made him turn around. Old Man Bear stood on his hind legs, taking up the mouth of the cave with his immense body. Mathias moved back into the shadows, pressing himself into the cave wall as Old Man roared. Peter scrambled to dodge the bear’s massive paws, throwing himself to the ground. “Oh, he’s fucked it now.” Mathias chuckled to himself.

Peter had landed in the fresh guts of the fox. He smelled like food, and Old Man was hungry.

When the sun kissed the horizon, the police in the tent looked out in worry. The officer and her tracker had been gone all night. The Chief looked anxiously into the trees, he should have forced them to come back. A shout drew his eyes into the misty treeline, as three figures emerged from it.

Two were holding a third up between them. All three stumbled into the clearing, panting from the effort. Mathias and Laura lowered the weakened Maeve to the ground, before collapsing themselves. The officers rushed over asking them if they were okay and grabbing blankets. All three people lay on the ground panting as the officers wrapped blankets around their cold bodies. The Chief would eventually ask how they did it, but for now, he let the tired rescuers rest.

In the distance, the bear turned his head and walked back into the forest. Those men had no issue being there, so long as they left him be.

#whump #day 7 #June of doom 23 #animal death #kidnapping #this was a fun one to read back over while i edited #is the bear a bear or is it something more who knowsssss #snaillamp #original post

[morethanwords0475]

March TC Challenge

1. If you could change one thing about your TC, physical or personality-wise, what would it be?

I don’t know, sometimes it sounds like he hates life a little? I’m not delusional that everyone must love their job, but it hurts whenever he expresses too much relief that a holiday is finally coming up, or, especially, when he doesn’t have to teach us for whatever reason (like when we eventually go on exam leave).

2. Are they “your type”, or was falling for a person like them completely unexpected?

I think he is my type in that he’s beautiful, teaches really well, and is super good to our class, but last year I actually didn’t find him that attractive so he probably wasn’t exactly my type, appearance-wise, not when T was still here.

3. If they were an ice cream flavour, what would it be?

I think he would be a fruit flavour that is naturally sweet with a hint of sourness.

4. Imagine you have a whole weekend to spend with your TC. What would you guys do?

I would love to walk his dog with him, go out and eat something nice, maybe have an afternoon coffee date and read together, walk around the lake and just talk…

5. What’s their biggest talent?

Not sure about talents – teaching?? I know my man used to do music though 🥰

6. Be honest: would you guys be a power couple or not?

Probably not 'power' in the traditional sense, but I just feel like we’d probably make each other better people and that’s good enough for me.

7. If they knew about your feelings, would they confront you about it or ignore it?

He probably suspects by now, I think if it got too obvious and was making him uncomfortable he might confront me about it. He’d try to be indirect and gentle about it, though it would definitely be scary.

8. Are they a good singer?

I am very curious, I love his slightly hoarse, raspy voice, but idk if it would sound good singing.

9. If you could choose an outfit that your TC had to wear every single day, what would it look like?

This is very difficult to choose, my inherent love for white shirts says that, plus a vest maybe, though I also love seeing him in casual clothes like hoodies.

10. Are they more academic, artistic, or athletic? What about you?

Incas Lily is probably 70% academic, 10% artistic (we don’t get to see his artistic side so it’s hard to tell), and 20% athletic (he works out more than do sports), I’m probably 75% academic, 15% artistic, and 10% athletic.

11. Do they inspire you as a person?

So much, he is so much goodness and cares about genuine things and forms solid connections with people, he is so good and so loved.

12. Are they an early riser or a night owl?

Early riser most likely, he said on school nights he usually goes to bed at like 22:30 (I wish TAT).

13. Have you ever made each other angry or upset? If so, how did you reconcile?

I’ve always been good in class even before liking Incas Lily so I’ve never made him mad, and he only gets a bit upset at people who don’t listen or do work. There must have been times when he was annoyed with me but didn’t verbalise it, though. I was upset with him for making fun of subjects I like – other than Biology – and felt hurt, we kind of reconciled when he conceded the value in some of those subjects after I pressed him on it.

14. Do you ever find yourself imitating them, either consciously or unconsciously?

I definitely don’t imitate him as much as I did T, the only things I can think about is subtly adapting his sense of humour or hand gestures. I did steal his way of drawing bullet points, I don’t remember ever seeing another teacher draw it like that.

15. What do you think their love language is? What’s yours?

This is extremely hard to tell, not least because I don’t even know if Incas Lily is in a relationship, let alone seen it displayed at school. I would guess quality time and acts of service will probably be high for him. Mine are physical touch and words of affirmation - the latter works very well with having a TC, the former not at all.

16. Have they taught you anything that isn’t school related? Valuable life lessons, insights on how you feel about yourself, etc.?

That time we had a talk about my mental health and stuff, he tried to boost my self-perception and made me see some of the maladaptive thought patterns I had. Especially when he was helping me prepare for my interview, we mostly focused on questions about myself, he helped me think of some of my qualities that I didn't know I had or couldn't admit to. Occasionally hearing his opinions on life during our lessons has also been very valuable.

17. What would they have to do to make you lose feelings for them?

I think anything that compromises his basic identity as a 'good' person, a good teacher – in terms of like moral standards and being a decent human being and all that. That’s the core of my attraction.

18. Are they introverted or extroverted? What about you?

His MBTI is introverted, but he is definitely quite social with many teachers as well as students. He seems more extroverted than me, I’m probably the more introverted of extroverts.

19. Who’s more likely to start rambling about their interests while the other listens?

He’s done it sometimes in lessons and I always love it, I also do on some occasions when talking about the subject I want to major in. 

20. Do you feel guilty about having feelings for your TC?

A bit, sometimes, he’s so good to us it feels like I’m preying on that kindness. Like, he deserves a normal life without some girl semi-obsessing over him, although I mostly don’t actively inconvenience him with these feelings. At least this time he’s not married (😭)

21. Are you insecure about them liking another student more than you?

Always. I always said I loved T before any of his other students did, but I didn’t have feelings for Incas Lily until a year after he started teaching us, so I’m sure he likes a lot of other students better than me. I might be getting the highest grades in my class, but he doesn’t just want grades. Man, and I’ve seen him have really casual dynamics with some of the students a year or two below us and it sucks.

22. What kind of hairstyle would you love to see them in?

His current one is super pretty, it's curly and thick and frames his facial features beautifully. I miss when the top was dyed silver, though, that was the utmost beauty.

23. Do you think they trust you?

We don't ever really get into an emotional level of trust, but for any academic setting he must do. He let me self study a unit, he said he thinks I'd never be able to cheat, and he let me finish up an experiment alone in his lab when we were still doing experiments.

24. What’s the most comedic moment that’s occurred between you two?

It's hard to say, but it was quite funny when he used to give me quizzes for his lower year groups to do, especially when I sometimes get inexplicably caught up in them.

25. Have you ever drawn them or written about them to vent your feelings?

I write about Incas Lily often – usually in diaries and on this blog, sometimes in imagines.

26. How do you feel when you’re around them? Are you so nervous that you can’t concentrate, or do you just feel happy that you get to spend time with them?

I used to almost always be really happy around him (he was my comfort teacher before I really had romantic feelings), it turned into nervousness maybe a few months back, and now a mixture.

27. Do you guys have any inside jokes?

There's one where I told him off for not teaching us something and it comes up in exams, but I think it also annoys him a little.

28. Do their morals, principles, or political views align with yours?

Maybe less so than it was with T, but with basic things like political inclinations, support for gender equality/the LGBTQ+ community/etc., being pro-choice, we are very similar on.

29. Have you ever tried to get over them?

Some days when it gets really bad, like during Mocks in January or sometimes this month, I have wondered whether I should or am meant to get over him, but it's so hard when seeing him makes my heart clench every time.

30. If someone nice your age showed up in your life and you caught feelings for them, would you move on from your TC?

We have so little time now, I doubt I could catch feelings for someone my age or move on from Incas Lily. Hopefully, I will after I go to university.

31. Have you ever said or done something that, in hindsight, might have been hurtful to them? Have they ever done the same to you?

Like for the inside joke, I (jokingly) complained about him not teaching us something, which might have been a bit hurtful, but I have truly tried to always be careful and good around him. I was hurt when he made fun of some of the subjects I like, especially during times when I was feeling really tense, and I do wonder whether he knew it affected me, even though it was all done jokingly.

#Incas Lily #tc #tc community #teacher crush #male tc #tc challenge #march tc challenge

[evelyne-am]

21st march 2023

DAY8

If you could not tell from my last post, and my thoughts are wandering back to music, life, pretentious things like hair; that I was trying to get myself out of. But I guess habit is habit. I slscked over the weekend. Instead of spending my day off focusing on my new script and having it embedded in me, or making some of the new music that Sir told me to do, I barely did anything, I barely scratched the surface of the pile of Load. Past few months I have been doing that. I’m not hard on myself because I know everyone needs downtime, but throughout a pandemic, throughout my life pre-2022, I’ve gotten used to a lot of downtime. I’ve gotten used to getting distracted, doing things that are meaningless in the long run, and also giving into temptation. It’s okay, I have taken on more than I could chew, and I have this new place, new people, new projects, I haven’t watched TV, something that I used to do every single day since August. But I am still struggling with my focus. Today is the first day that we have real rehearsals. We did a little bit of a warmup and went straight into the play. The play is made into three acts act one add two add three are very different. We worked on act one, we worked on blocking, we worked on some dialogues. At this moment the lead roles have been assigned, but Sir says that they may change, I don’t have one. However I am responsible for leading the music part and though I thought a break from music is exactly what I wanted, I realise that what is better for the play is me taking charge of the music, I wanted to be a little more selfish, the last few years I have allowed everything else to come before what I want. But in this case I don’t feel like I’m putting anyone else’s needs first, this is my play, whether I play two lines or 130. Sir is very unhappy with the way that we have started running in and out. I said in my story, this is the first day I felt like rehearsals started, that is because it is true. We’ve chalked out the way that we are going to sit to stand and move enter, it was supposed to be a 360 audience but Sir makes it into three sides instead of four. We go home realising that there is so much more to do including the music. Sir ask me about this song, and in great shame I say I have not really finished it. He didn’t yell at me, but I felt the urgency of what was happening. Maybe I should put my whole focus on making this play and its music better, but I am so enjoying challenging myself in these acting things that I also don’t want to give that up. Over the weekend my friend Shaheen who is a long-term theatre actor told me if there’s any advice that he gives me it is to trust my director. So I decided to do so.

Mum leaves for foreign lands today. The half an hour I got to see her I was very anxious and she could tell. I didn’t really get a chance to converse with her because all I had in my mind was how am I gonna balance home. I got a balance. I did not very well. I left my work to the end of the night and ended up working from midnight to 1 am again. Why am I letting emotions from my personal life comes first? . They of course deserve their space, but I have to time manage better and get my homework done before I go into other things. And though I get a little bit done, I realise I’m not behaving at my hundred percent yet. And I need to. When I’m directing and others don’t do it, I really feel bad, I can’t do that to my director.

Henceforth I will be referring to Sir As my director.

[imaginemyreality03]

🌿🔨It’s never too late in life to discover who you are🔨🌿

🛑 SPOILERS AHEAD 🛑

Astrid Parker Doesn’t Fail- Ashley Herring Blake

Read: March 26 -> April 3, 2024

BRA Score: 73/100

Favorite Quote: “When you’re ready to talk, I’d like to listen.” -Isabel Parker-Green, Pg 356

Abbreviations: AHB- Ashley Herring Blake, DGDC: Delilah Green Doesn’t Care (the first book in this universe), APDF: Astrid Parker Doesn’t Fail.

~~~~~~~~~~

Book Gist: Astrid Parker is trying to hold on to the one part of her life that hasn’t fallen apart in the last year: her interior design business. She gets hired to design the semi-famous Everwood Inn for their feature episode of Innside America, it’s a chance she can’t pass up. But of course, the whole thing has to go awry from the start, when she screams at a woman for spilling coffee on her ivory dress her first morning on the job… and that woman turns out to not only be her lead carpenter (and number one collaborator) but also an Everwood herself. Talk about starting off on the wrong foot. Now this project is a task of survival: get back in the good grace of Jordan Everwood, succeed at this redesign to keep her business afloat, and try not to have any sexuality crises along the way. She is only partially successful here.

Tags: Enemies/Rivals to Lovers, Sapphic, Adult Romance, Smut, Coming Out in Adulthood, Third Act Breakup, Messy Exes, internalized homophobia (ish).

~~~~~~~~~~

Overall Review:

Pre-Read:

I tried to read this when it came out, and I made it like half way through before I put it down and just, forgot to pick it up again. I didn’t mean to DNF but it was not very encouraging to continue. It felt slow, I couldn’t feel the chemistry between Astrid and Jordan, and I still really didn’t like Astrid because of her in DGDC. This time around, I discovered that if I had continued reading literally 4 more pages, I would have finished the book that first time around, because it finally sold Jordan and Astrid to me at that point.

Astrid:

First impressions aside, I don’t think I was ever gonna LOVE this book, because I do have a general dislike for Astrid, both for who she is and how she was around Delilah (they are both at fault for their relationship, but I read a book in Delilah’s POV first, and Astrid was an ass for no reason so many times). That being said, while I would not be friends with her IRL, from a reader/writer perspective, she is a fantastic character. She is deeply flawed and actively acknowledges many of those flaws. She works to do better and her growth through this book is truly admirable. Watching her journey in trying to come out and to unlearn the habits she didn’t even know she had due to her upbringing, and all of her own thoughts she had to challenge in order to find her happiness… I am incredibly proud of her, she is a great main character. Still not gonna choose to spend any free time with her, but she served her purpose well in this book.

Jordan:

Jordan, I am obsessed with. I think the tarot thing wasn’t really made to fit. I think AHB was just really determined to include it, but don’t give Jordan enough connection in her backstory or personality to defend how invested she is in this tarot deck. We just know she bought it after Meredith left her, but we don’t know if Jordan had any prior interest in Tarot or anything similar, like astrology. It felt a bit forced, but other than that, I really did enjoy her. She’s brash and excitable and sarcastic and she’s on this journey of rediscovery too that is really fun to watch.

Meredith should just… move to somewhere international so they never have to see each other again, because while she’s valid to want a change in her life, she completely disregarded everything her wife did for her and everything that she felt for the sake of her “personal reawakening and need to find her destiny”. It was disrespectful of her relationship and of Jordan as a person. So, she can leave. You don’t get an I-had-cancer get-out-of-jail free card for being that much of an asshole.

Cast:

I wanted more of the Bright Falls cast tbh. Especially really defining the way the group works with Delilah in the mix, and Josh back for good. I wanted more Josh being subtly bullied and tested for his promise to stay and be around. I felt like it was way too quiet, when all Astrid had outside of work was her friends, but there was no routinely seeing each other, or weekly get together. There were a handful of group outings and one event. I needed a bigger fix than that. But seeing how Delilah filled in a space they were missing was so beautiful. Claire kinda lost all her personality, but she also had like 6 minutes of screen time in bookish terms, so I’m not necessarily surprised that’s what happened.

Plot:

The plot overall and the main conflict wasn’t super convincing for me. I feel like there wasn’t that much buildup of the risks involved for Astrid and Jordan if this doesn’t go well. But also, I feel like there hasn’t ever really been a risk of this not working out. There weren’t any actual opportunities or reasons to watch for presented to the readers about what could happen that would lead to the Reno failing, or the episode not airing. I knew they were worried, but i was never really worried for them. It just didn’t have the weight it needed to in my opinion. And it was so drawn out, but not in a slow burn kind of way, in a “I don’t know what I’m supposed to feel about this lady, and I’m so involved in my own issues I’m just gonna ignore this weird feeling and move on” kind of way. There wasn’t obvious chemistry to start, just conflict.

Other Comments:

What also probably didn’t help my perception of this book was some of the reviews I read on here before I started it (and I want to be explicitly clear that this is in no way the fault of any other poster or creator and I am in no way criticizing their opinions. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and is allowed to put that on the internet. If I didn’t want to hear it, I wouldn’t read it. This is entirely on me).

A few people posted reviews about why they didn’t like AHB’s writing, and pointed out parts of her writing style and how she develops and includes her queer characters, and especially how she leans into stereotypes and performative allyship.

That’s a rough summary, I can’t remember exactly what was said. But those were the thoughts I had in my head while I was reading, and it did make me very sad, because there was a lot of Delilah and Claire from DGDC that I really related with and I felt very connected to the way that these characters were presented in that story. Reading APDF, I could identify a few points that could be interpreted as this kind of thing, but I didn’t feel that they were as a big a deal, I guess. So that also turned me off from the book at the start, so maybe (ironically) this book was doomed to be a disappointment for me.

All in all, it was a good book. Maybe not worth a reread, but I can’t say I didn’t enjoy some of it. 😐

#book review #book rating #booklr #sapphic #ashley herring blake #astrid parker doesn't fail #enemies to rivals to lovers

[thefeawl]

Happy New Year

March, 21, 2024

For many years, I've held the belief that the true start of the year occurs around mid-March. I don’t know why; it’s just a feeling, I guess.

Harnessing the momentum of setting new year resolutions, I take this opportunity to delve deep into them. Last January, I must admit, proved to be quite a challenge, to say the least. I found myself grappling with thoughts as dark as those cold winter nights.

Having maintained sobriety for over a year now, I found myself contemplating antidepressants during that bleak January. However, after meditating on the idea, I resolved against taking anything, realizing that it could undermine my entire journey toward sobriety.

It often feels like as we near the finish line, obstacles intensify. It was a tough and painful period, but today I can confidently say that I am finally at peace.

I've attained profound self-awareness, gaining a comprehensive understanding of my inner world. My perspective on reality has changed tremendously, and I feel more grounded than ever before.

I frequently reflect upon my sobriety journey as it has utterly transformed my life. Contrary to my expectations, the journey was much harder than I thought it would be. Initially, I was naive. I believed that within 21 days or so, I would be 'fixed,' attaining complete inner peace.

In reality, the journey proved not only challenging but also rather mundane. Sobriety is not exciting, especially at first. After relying on cigarettes, drugs, and alcohol to enhance my life for many years, it's only natural that the first 12 months would be demanding. The difficulty lies in the inability to escape when life gets challenging.

A year ago, my life was completely different. I feel like I've made more changes and progress in the last twelve months than I did in the previous twelve years. A lot has changed; my relationships with the world and the people in my life underwent profound shifts. It became apparent who my true friends were, and letting go of certain people wasn’t easy; it was also necessary. Nevertheless, on a positive note, those significant relationships that I already had have notably improved, especially the relationship with myself.

There are a few things I wish I had known before embarking on this journey. Firstly, when I decided to part ways with my vices, I felt like a different person, and it seemed like most people in my life didn’t quite embrace the change. They missed the old me, and I found it tough to reconnect with them as deeply as before. It dawned on me that our relationships often relied heavily on those vices.

Secondly, everything became more vibrant and intense; my senses seemed to awaken. You know how they say quitting smoking can enhance your sense of taste? Well, quitting drugs and alcohol seemed to heighten my emotional sensitivity. This newfound hypersensitivity felt like having a superpower, though it could be a bit overwhelming at times.

Thirdly, it took me a while to realize, but eventually, I came to understand that food could be just as harmful as the substances I once leaned on.

Finally, I realized that the most addictive "drug" in my life wasn’t something I could smoke or drink; it was something I could create from within. My negative thoughts about the world and myself were impacting me (and those around me) far more than my old vices ever did. Negative thoughts are tough to shake off because they're readily available, free, highly addictive, and quite contagious.

I ended up depending on them as coping mechanisms or automatic reactions to tough situations. I realize that breaking away from those negative thinking patterns will take time, daily mindfulness techniques, and a whole lot of effort, but I'm committed to putting in the work.

I plan to use this space to document my journey toward complete sobriety, as I like to call it. Hopefully, it'll inspire at least one person to embrace a healthier, more mindful, and peaceful life. If I can drop all my vices in just a few months, so can you.

[thebandcampdiaries]

Luanne Hunt is introducing a new album release, "Life Ain't No Picnic."

March 2023 - Luanne Hunt is a singer and songwriter based in Lady Lake, FL. the artist has been making music for over 20 years, eventually hitting the big time in 2007 with the success of her aptly titled cd, "Breaking Through." She continued to fine-tune her sound and release inspiring music! She is constantly on the lookout for new ideas and new ways to push the envelope and challenges her creativity in order to come up with something that's genuine and personal. Her most recent studio release, "Life Ain't No Picnic," actually feels like a stunning combination of genres such as easy listening, indie-folk, and even jazz, with a wide range of influences to spice it all up and add even more character to the mix. The album features eight songs. The first track is titled "I'll See You In My New Year's Dreams." Musically, the song has a nice retro swing sound, which offers a cheerful, upbeat tone. Luanne's vocals are very easy to relate to. The track is all about reminiscing on the past year and wishing the best for the new one!

The next song is titled "The Picnic," a song that serves as a callback to the album's title. The track has a charming sound, and the piano melodies, along with the other instruments to add color, make for an amazing background texture to Luanne's vocal layers. "That's How You Know She's A Hero" is perhaps the most poignant and emotional song on the album. This beautiful ballad is a story that dates back to the second world war, one of the most difficult moments in modern world history. It's a heartfelt tribute to veterans who are able to keep smiling to protect their loved ones and defend them from the ugliness of war. "How The Curtains Blow" has a charming vintage vibe, and it is an amazing song that is reminiscent of legends like Elton John or Billy Joel in terms of the arrangement. 

"Love Forgives" is another stunning piano ballad and one of the album's most relatable songs. This is a true ode to the selflessness of real love! Luanne has a way of singing about such deep topics in a way that is so seamless and engaging: it isn't always easy to accomplish such a balance! The sixth song on this album is named "Lifting Weights." This one, in particular, has a bit of a honky-tonk / blues sound that makes it really fun and energetic. It also showcases Luanne's ability to explore different styles, adding so much variety to the album! The following song is a beautiful track titled "The Good One." The smooth jazz-inspired introduction takes the album to a whole different place, a further testament to the incredibly kaleidoscopic edge of this release. The string section is amazing as well, at times reminiscent of some of those early legendary Phil Spector productions, such as on The Beatles' Let It Be or on George Harrison's first solo record. Last but definitely not least, the track "More Than Just My Name" is a soothing and melodic conclusion to a stunning album. This track offers a memorable vocal melody and an amazing arrangement, which brings the piano playing to the forefront while still allowing the band to embrace a jazzy sound.

As a whole, the album is truly astonishing." Life Ain't No Picnic" features some stellar vocal parts, but what's even more exciting is the fact that every element in the production has been tailored to perfection. The mix is detail-oriented and quite balanced so that the vocals never overpower the instrumentals and vice versa. The key is to find the sweet spot, and Luanne is an expert at crafting music that's perfectly attuned to the dynamics of the performance, creating a more impactful listening experience. This release is highly recommended for any fan of bright vocal melodies and smooth-sounding instrumentals. This record is an amazing addition to Luanne's growing discography and a great testament to what artists who follow their heart and passion actually sound like!

Listen to "Life Ain't No Picnic" on your favorite digital music streaming platform, including Spotify, and learn more about Luanne Hunt and her music.

https://open.spotify.com/album/6foFO5I6UJ6Ln8wgdFb3VB?si=sH98BvbjS22v_ei3vK30mA

[littleblackwing]

Haha, making a blog-post on my tumblr other than just reblogging all the good stuff? What is this? Well, anyway, I just wanted to share some thoughts and it felt like twitter is not the best for this.

Soooooooo... I started learning Japanese! And your first thought might be “oh yay, good for you!” or “you are crazy” and I agree with that. I feel crazy but at the same time I’m curious, scared, overwhelmed and lost sometimes, I’m also motivated and I feel all sorts of different emotions. It’s going okay so far, I started last weekend and by now I know all hiragana/katakana (with katakanas I still don’t know all the combinations but oh well...). Also, the added challenge is that I’m doing this with English resources and obviously I’m not a native speaker but I think I can manage it somehow (since the resources in Hungarian are just... kinda crappy and old school, sigh...).

I want to document this journey a little bit so I hopefully won’t lose my motivation or goals. Although documenting is a pain and so is learning something new. Because let me tell you... I’m the most curious person about things but if I lose interest or something else happens... I tend to procrastinate and not just for a shorter time but for longer (or I just lose interest forever). And I hate that part of myself and I have been trying hard since last year to change it. It’s going really slowly but hey! I continued crocheting that blanket I want to send to my buddy. Also, I read some books (even though they were “only” light novels) and continued some others hobbies. So I think that’s an improvement?

At the beginning of January an ad popped up on Facebook for an online course about Japanese and I was curious and it bugged me, I almost submitted the application but then I didn’t. I wanted to read about it a bit more, think about if it would be worth it and then a few days later I decided I’m gonna apply. Then I went to this site but turned out I waited too long and didn’t check properly the sign up deadline, I was two days late. :D I was a bit bummed and angry at myself for not checking the deadline properly but I thought I would sign up in March when a new study group starts up. I was fine with this idea for a week or so but then it started bugging me again... I read tofugu’s advice on learning Japanese but it seemed a bit scary even though it felt the most efficient way and I knew I wanted to learn it as efficiently as possible. So I started reading about what else is there and found a few posts like this from Bonyari Boy and then u/SuikaCider‘s post on reddit and their live google document. They all seemed to be talking about the tofugu way but the way they described it seemed more possible to do it than tofugu’s guide. What does this mean? Basically, ditch learning the kanas by writing them over and over again for at least a month, just learn them under a few days and later you can learn the writing as well. Then start learning the kanjis using mnemonics and at the same time/or after you know like a few hundred, start learning grammar. That’s it in a nutshell, it seems easy enough right? I mean, there are obviously a lot more going on than this but it kind of motivated me. I started looking at the offered options to learn the kanjis and decided for now to try out the WaniKani site and then learn about Anki in the meantime. Also, every single one of these documents suggested to set up a goal you would like to achieve so I have a few in my mind. I mean it’s obvious that 86 is a big part of it right now but even if in a few years I won’t be so invested I’m going to be forever a weeb and there will be new stuff that may have a manga/light novel not translated to English and I will want to know what it is about. Or just understand some of the youtuber’s I watch without subtitles and some live events aaand those Japanese artists I follow on twitter, I want to know what they are tweeting about (or the little comics they post, it’s so tiring to use Google Translate and it kept translating poor Fido’s little “Pi” to “Bitch” - that was hilarious, though). And yes, it will take time (please Szi don’t give up ) but I was thinking if I can keep learning it intensively every single day for at least an hour it may take only a year or two... and that is such a little part of my life. I guess it’s just creating a habit out of it and placing it in my routine. It’s not easy as one day is only 24 hours long and I have to work, do chores and other things but yeah, here I go!

Well, this was a long read and if you are still here whoa, thanks! I can’t guarantee I will keep this up to date but I wrote this as a draft like 9 days ago and posting it now and since then I’m still doing WaniKani every day, so maybe there is hope? 

#random #me #szilvi's japanese learning journey #sorry for the grammar mistakes and typos but I'm tired to fix them

[sheponders]

Cancer Yearly Horoscope for 2023 by Daily Horoscope (http://comitic.com/dh)

You might like to be described as someone who is ephemeral, dreamy, and magical. You have a powerful mind and aura, and others pick up on this. Sometimes you are misunderstood because of it, Moonchild, and sometimes that's just fine with you. But at other times, you may feel so much like an outsider. You see yourself as being very different. You can often feel lonely or blue. You may sometimes feel like you have been left behind in some ways. But this year, you will see a dramatic change in your feelings about your place in life. You may have been through some difficult learning experiences recently, but this year it is all coming together to give you what you have missed, and this time you will have a greater, deeper, richer understanding and appreciation of and for your life. In 2023, you will begin to draw in like-minded people and even some who may not feel exactly like-minded but who will add great friendship, companionship, and the true aura of companionship to your life. These things are so important to you, and they may have been missing from your life for a long time. You should also find that some of your dreams that you felt would never be fulfilled for reasons you could never understand will suddenly gain new attention and the possibility of coming true. You may see a change of residence to something that fulfills on a deeper level your true ideal of home. Although you may not be completely free of challenges, good things are in store for you this year.

Love

For quite some time, love has seemed more like an elusive dream to you than a possible reality. You may have begun to question yourself: Is it something you said? Are you not as attractive as you want to be? Are you too different to find that beautiful kind of love you idolize? Is love just not meant for you? As you will see this year, none of this is true. You may have spent a lot of time pleading with the universe for the kind of love you have dreamt of, only to have that request left unfulfilled. Even if you are attached, you may have still felt a longing and an emptiness at times. You may have let someone go that you now regret - perhaps you should have given that person a chance. But this year, Moonchild, you shall see the realization of your dream - as long as you are willing to let go, at least slightly, of a perfect idea of what you think the ideal partner should be. And once again, this applies whether you are single or attached. At the start of 2023, you may have distanced yourself from even the notion of romance. That should change quickly, though, perhaps because of something you witnessed. This may come in the form of a movie that strikes you, or a relationship you see that sends sparks of longing of your own. And by March, you should be geared up for truly finding what is right for you. If this is a new person, you may have to play the field a bit to figure out what is best for you by contrast, and there should be plenty of choices. If you are attached, you may be deeply inspired to make your union as powerful as you possibly can, which can be done through counseling or simply by spending special times together in memorable places that can recapture your passion. By the summer, you may hopefully be in full gear as a person deeply enriched and in love. This can continue if you apply what you have learned to nurturing and maintaining your connection. You can sail through the rest of the year on a magic carpet of bliss if you do!

Family

If you have endured some family challenges and difficulty in relationships over the last year, sadly, that may continue into 2023. You have had to put up with antagonism, jealousy, and disrespect. Someone, or perhaps a few family members, may have said things to you that cannot be taken back and that have hurt you deeply. But your resounding question may be this: Is there hope? And, in a nutshell, the answer is yes. But it may not come easily. You may need a lot of time to lick your wounds and to become okay with not just what others have done to you but also with yourself. You need to see your place in this more clearly, and you definitely will. You may receive approaches or apologies before you are ready for them, and that's okay. Take your time. Deal with it. Give yourself some time and space to find peace within. By June, probably at the latest, you should begin to find the peace and harmony within yourself that you need and have needed for some time. This could lead to being more open to reconciling, and that should be possible if you are up to it. Just before that, or around the same time, you may connect with a more distant relative who will infuse you with a new sense of closeness. You may also be in the process of developing at least one newer relationship that may feel like you are interacting with a family member that was always there, even though they are new to your life. This is all good!

Career

For perhaps the last year or two, Moonchild, you have vacillated with your career. You may have felt emotionally charged at various times to get back in the groove, but it may have been short-lived, with your passion being diffused by other issues. This year, though, something could happen relatively early in the year that will recapture the passion you once had for certain aspects of your career that are on the "dream” level - in other words, things that you once aspired to, perhaps from childhood, and that you are now significantly more determined to follow through with. This is a great thing! And not only will you feel invigorated about this, but you should also see very visible signs of assistance from the universe in seeing your dreams through to fruition, which may even happen before the end of this year. That's just the dreamier aspect of your career life, though. You may have slacked off recently in other, more practical aspects of your work life. You may not have been as ambitious as usual, but opportunities for more day-to-day work could come to you that will be both beneficial and satisfying. Some of these might also connect with the dreamier side in that they will offer you connections you will love to have. All in all, this can be a great year - perhaps even one of your best - where your career is concerned. There may be quite a lot to achieve and to celebrate before the end of this year!

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