#incorrect quotes but almost correct lmao

[eldest-sibling-tournament]

Literally... none of that is true lmao. Dick had beef with Bruce and mostly tried to keep Jason out of it, and let Jason know he was there for him if he needed it. They went skiing together. Dick had a complete breakdown after Jason's death.

Where do I even start on the next bit. ALFRED originally gave the Robin mantle to Damian. "Worst year of Tim's life" It was the worst year of DICK'S life. His father of like 15 years died, his city got blown up, his best friend died, etc etc. And he STILL pulled it together and took on the burden of becoming Batman, sacrificed his independence, moved to Gotham to raise Bruce's deeply traumatized son.

Also he NEVER tried to put Tim in Arkham. And god forbid he not listen to Tim who had NO EVIDENCE Bruce was alive, instead of taking care of all back-breaking responsibilities on his shoulders while still grieving

Anyway. Please don't use fanon Tim stan nonsense to slander Dick thank you <3

ask 1 ^

ask 2:

i know it doesnt actually matter but that second-to-last ask abt dick grayson is literally just straight up lies. this person has not read any of the comics they are referencing. they are just quoting incorrect fanon as if its facts. dick had a complicated relationship with jason, yes, but wasn't particularly unkind to him, just distant, and is shown to have regretted that and grieved him hard; i'm not even gonna begin to get into the damian bashing but literally at no point did dick ever try to get tim committed to arkham. he suggested tim get therapy, because their adoptive father was dead (as far as they knew) and tim was convinced he wasn't but had no evidence. this is not an unreasonable thing to suggest to your grieving brother who appears stuck in denial! and he didn't "replace tim with damian and not even tell him". damian literally interrupted the conversation where he was trying to tell tim about it (where his rationale was that damian, a child literally raised in a cult of assassins, needed to be given a role to fill in bc he needed structure while being deprogrammed from being a child soldier, and dick wanted to see tim as his equal, not a subordinate.) tim himself completely reconciled with dick by the end of this comic. that anon was just making up a guy to be mad at, not actually talking about dick grayson 💀

ask 3:

Hi I’m the dick grayson shouldn’t win anon, the people thirst voting one etc etc but saw some propaganda that’s based on bald faces lies and I gotta correct it bc it’s my pet peeve. DICK DID NOT THREATEN TIM WITH ARKHAM. HE SUGGESTED A THERAPIST IN METROPOLIS like okay he fucked up there but he made the best decision he could during the red robin run (which is a dumpster fire) and like it’s been a minute since I read battle for the cowl era but didn’t Alfred give Damian the robin suit. And Jason was literally in dick’s family colours which got taken away from dick by Bruce which he had no right to do so I mean he justifiably didn’t like him. And yeah okay dick did put Jason in Arkham but need I remind you that Jason went on a killing spree as Batman and almost killed tim. And let’s be real him and him are brothers. He didn’t ditch him. That relationship was never fixed in comics bc they reset the universe but at the end of red Robin they were okay. And like you have over 10 years of comics but the important thing is that Arkham was NEVER what dick suggested to Tim holy shit but uh also don’t vote for dick in the next round (vote for him against supernatural guy tho) I just don’t appreciate the slander but I’ll be putting out my anti dick grayson propaganda next thanks

Adding to my other ask, Tim literally sounded like he was losing it. Like I wouldn’t believe him either. In the nightwing comics not too long ago he tried to bring his dad, Steph, and Conner back to life with the Lazarus pit. Tim willingly cut himself and started to use self destructive behaviours (LoA) and like his entire internal monologue supports that and bc grim dark era justifiably fucked him up okay I’m done

ok thank you! glad you're clearing this up

#i wouldn't know otherwise lol #dick grayson #propaganda

[mysticstarlightduck]

Incorrect Quotes Tag!

Thank you so much for the tag, @saintedseraph!

I really love this generator, lmao, so I'll do this one for my WIPs Enchanted Illusions and Realms of Loss! I adjusted some of the quotes to fit the characters better but here it goes:

(Enchanted Illusions)

Evangeline - We should normalize not loving family members, and maybe, just maybe... plotting their accidental murders. Ambrose - Or you can just say: “I hate my dumbfuck step-mom” or whatever. You know. Talk like a normal person!

Vincent - *on the phone* Just threaten him with bankruptcy - or snap his kneecaps, I don't care - and he’ll talk, I’m at a parent-teacher conference. Everyone - ... Vincent -  Anyways, you said Harriet is enjoying finger painting! That's great.

Marcus - *sharpens knife* We've got ways of making people talk. Marcus - *cuts a piece of cake* Liam -  ...Can I have some? Marcus - *pulls away the cake* Nuh-uh, cake is for talkers.

Agatha - You have your weirdly sincere humility. Caileain -  I prefer the term "self-loathing", actually.

Valentine - *ferally sarcastic, with the intention to annoy* Oh, fiddlesticks! That really ruffles my feathers! Thaddeus - *near tears* Please, just say fuck

Julia, grinning - I have a knife! Thaddeus - Put it down, Julia. Julia - Make me! *sprints away*

(Realms of Loss)

Random Avillorian Soldier - You have an impressive pain tolerance. Teivel - Thanks, it's the trauma.

Sara - And what did we learn, Drystan? Drystan - *bored, almost reciting the words* Tackling and stabbing someone isn’t the correct response to being asked a simple question

Prince Archyvel - I think I need a hug... Mehri - Good thing I'm hug-shaped! *45 minutes later* Prince Archyvel - You... you can let go now. Mehri - *tightens his hug, smiles* No, I absolutely cannot.

Kassien - I love you. Adaria - *blushes*  How many people have you said that to? Kassien - Everyone. Adaria - ... What? Kassien - I told everyone that I love you.

Oryon - Let's bury the hatchet, Gwain. Gwain - Oh, don't worry, I won't be burying any hatchet unless I get a clear shot at your groin! Oryon - *runs away*

Nesrynna - Why are you guys acting like this? Viktoras, dead serious - Oh, we're not acting. Delyan - We really are like this.

Lucian, handing out popsicles - Which flavor do you want? Mehri - Blue flavor! Lucian - Uh, you mean Blue Raspberry...? Mehri - Blue flavor! Blue flavor! Lucian, concerned - Blue is not a flavor! Mehri, eyes glow -  BLUE FLAVOR!

Tagging (gently, no pressure) - @tabswrites, @ashen-crest, @gummybugg, @doublegoblin, @oh-no-another-idea, @sm-writes-chaos, @writernopal, @sam-glade and @clairelsonao3

#wip: realms of loss #wip: enchanted illusions #writing #writers #writeblr #writerblr #my wips #character writing #writers on tumblr #my characters #my writing #tag games! #incorrect quotes tag!

[incorrectpercicoquotes]

Nico: The path to inner peace begins with four words

Percy: Not my fucking problem?

Nico: NO

#percy @ the gods #percico #percy jackson #pjo #incorrect quotes #riordanverse #the queues of apollo #this is a correct quote almost lmao #swearing #nsfr #queue

[king-ofthe-ruckus]

I was wondering:

Do you think Jeremiah and Jerome would use tumblr? And how would there blogs be called and what would they look like (what posts, popular, self-created posts or just reblog, with comments, etc.)?

Idk, this question is random, but somehow i can't get it out of my head.

[ 2/2 : It's me again, that person who asked what the twins tumblr blogs would look like lmao: I thought:- jeremiah would probably post/reblog murder cases or science things- but i don't know what jerome would do ]

Okay, I love this idea so much, because, Jerome is without a doubt in my mind, on the weirdest side of tumblr, he’s one of those people that have the strangest made up stories, and odd quotes, he’s probably used in a lot of incorrect quotes. And just, he’s one of those oddly presence people despite no one knowing literally anything true about him. It’s just know that he probably has a friend named Jonathan, and a consistent, but probably made up friend named Jervis [ because he always ends up in fakest sounding stories ]

So now that I got that out of the way, I think the people Jerome would follow would be a lot of miscellaneous blogs, like ones that post tiktoks and other that are just strange [ think @thatsbelievable ] and probably a lot of meme blogs. he probably follows a few trauma recovery-centric blogs, because, as much as he hates to admit it, the random quotes telling him he’s worth something just makes him smile, and sometimes he really needs that his tumblr would probably have the generic background and a selfie of him and jonathan. He reblogs/post in spams between the hours of 3am-7am before going silent for a few days then usually comes back with a wild story of “”“finding his long lost twin”“” His tags are all over the place. No version of coherency on this blog, but he has several side blogs [ one for anarchy posts [politics], one for venting because he doesn’t like putting non-funny things on main, and then one for his art, because i really like the idea of Jerome having some artistic talent [ i really like him being a make up artist and making these really fun designs ] that side blog also has some photos of Jonathan’s hair that he braid and added sparkles to. ] Jerome just gives of a lot of chaotic energy, but if you ever see him interacting with his mutuals [ which he defines as people who he follows and follows him back and they continuously have good interactions on each other posts and you can see he puts a lot of energy and work into and actually cares about his online presence. And since i personally think of him as having ADHD, i think he definitely hyperfixates on his tumblr, which is why i almost debated him having a background image, but i really think he just likes he default red brick cartoonish background. ]

Jeremiah actually has a really large following as well because he got tumblr hold himself accountable for his studying when he was younger, and it also gave him good inspiration, so he’s heavily involved in studyblr, probably follows a lot of recovery-centric blogs, and this is just a personal headcanon of mine, but i believe that he has a bad relationship with food, and so he follow disordered eating blogs as well. His notes are extremely minimalistic, and he post blurbs for himself of what he read, enjoyed eating, and studied that day. He’s always extremely careful of what he puts in there so no one could figure out any personal information, and he is very good about tagging. A very good easy to understand system in place. He doesn’t follow that many people [ between 30 - 50, he consistently go through who he follows to unfollow them if they a.) change their content b.) are in active or c.) finds himself no longer enjoying their content ]. His blog is actually surprisingly aesthetically pleasing. His profile picture is a light photo, maybe of a piece of notes and pencils/pens he’s using and square that lines up with the blueprints he has a background. His bio is bare but concise [ “engineering studyblr. studying for undergrad/grad/whatever applies. tags.“ [ and the tags connects to a master list post of his organized tags: his own notes [#mine.], reblogged notes [#study me. and by the #[subject like STEM, arts, etc,.]], studying tips [#tictacs], quotes [#words], photos [#a thousand words], and then on for non-study related thing, like the true crime [ #tw murder ], and science, i see him really enjoying space and psychology, so he follows studyblr of those, but random facts are tagged under [ #scifi ]. I personally don’t imagine him having any side blogs, just because i don’t imagine him really enjoying social media beyond it being a way to focus his energy on something that he has a hard time focusing on, and serving as a distraction whenever he needs it, but he prefers mazes as distractions, or creating dream buildings and combining his favorite architectural types [ i saw this one like eco-brutalism i think it was called, i don’t know it was like a forest over took a city, but a safe and controlled way, i can’t think of the correct name, and i probably saw it on pinterest ] and i pretend like his idiotic idea of living in the forest with he idiotically sized bunker [ @alexanderwesker was talking about it in Discord [ they may have posted it to, if so i’ll link it, but it’s late and i’m tired ] and honestly, the bunker, it’s- it’s so bad, so now i’m pretending like it’s an intentional choice, to some extent XD ]

#also the makeup artost jerome is a relatovely new idea so if you don't like it i #m soryy but the idea of jerome using the skill he learned at tyhe circus and making them something he can enjoy is just really cool to me #and i just love that idea so so much and he would also like a lot of make up stim boards and the micah powder shiny slime stims too #i'm sorry this is so disorganized i've been pretty scatterbrained these past few weeks so i'll probably try to find some photos of that #architecture stuff or whatever #[ do you know how many times i misspelt that words?? #so many. ] #but anyways i hope this was coherent enough to make sense or whatever if not you're welcome to send more ask :> #kotr #chandler responds #jeremiah valeska #jerome valeska #modern au #tumblr au

[unproduciblesmackdown]

just had a thought also along the lines of like, what do you feel being autistic is conducive towards / makes easier for you, adding the baja galaxy brain blast i had here like "oh right, the linguistics thing" lmao....b/c that's always been something i like Immediately latch on to and have had some intent Interest in forever, i've been enthused about Language Learning (despite only knowing one language lol), translation, interpretation, transcription, and transliteration are all Really interesting and/or engaging 2 me, i'm big on etymology and always get struck like where tf does this word come from, or like, Figurative Language equivalent of etymology lol like where's this phrase come from actually, or i'll be like "oh i only really know the definition of this word via Context Clues, i wanna look up the definition directly / figure out what differentiates it from close synonyms," i think reading a dictionary is fairly fun, i'll like, find some very particular / strange Word and try to memorize it like, on principle lol, i'm big on Puns and Wordplay lmao i find puns genuinely funny i do not understand the experience of disliking them in the least, and it occurs to me how yknow, i think being autistic you're used to needing to try to figure out how to translate what you're saying / what you Mean for other people, and to translate what they mean for yourself, where, you know, nt people might recognize like "oh the classic Irl Experience and Fictional Theme of Misunderstandings / Miscommunication / Incorrect Assumptions / etc" but are out here not realizing they're Misinterpreting you in the first place, so you say something and they don't get it and don't realize they don't get it and instead dismiss whatever you said entirely, probably also You by extension. like when it comes to Talking, it feels like the rarest thing of all is for someone to like, realize they maybe don't understand what you meant / aren't interpreting something in a way that makes sense to them here and will like, let you know so you can try to clarify / Translate what you're thinking in a different way......and like, always preemptively defensive about things, With Obvious Reason, like i'm really interested in breaking things down re: language and stuff but it's like Ah, autistic people Would be interested in the nitty gritty mechanics and Rules and miss the transcendent forest for the cold, reductive trees, like well you know what i also am super interested in how the Limits and Ambiguities of Translation are navigated, where there might be different approaches in trying to minimize interpretation and maintain fidelity, or that also there might not be some "correct" or "objective" translation of an idea or element and you do have to Interpret it and its context and end up with a less literal translation or, you know, that there isn't that available Literal translation and you have to convey the equivalent idea within the context of whatever target language and/or culture you're translating for......when there's some figure of speech being translated, i definitely want to know How and Why it's translated like it is, but i also want to know the literal translation lol. well the point is i'm big on Translating and it's like well yep i guess in a way i have to consider it all the time lmao, i do not expect people to always Get what i mean and god knows i don't always get what their secret implications or contexts are, and i'm having to try to break it down and reverse engineer it, and you know. i also think about my particular like, personal vocabulary tendencies or whatever, i sure absorb things lmao like well that phrase or quote is kind of in my lexicon now, for some reason i do like to drop like, specific french words or phrases or when i just choose something to spell as if in french syllables lol, i do not know french at all.....i will make up my own custom figures of speech lmao......i've got my "words of the week" like aha i just used some particular word / remembered how good it is and i can tell i'm gonna be using it a bunch now, or words i

just always especially use like "conducive," i suppose even language things like when i start an alphabet list but almost every time this was only to separate two ideas / parts so it's just a) b) the end

#sorry for the block of text it's Been 6am i cranked it out #still took a minute but editing would take even longer. as though i edit anything i ever say #but again it's 6am so whatever's going on here.....extra chaos #just was thrilled to look up ''why both catsup and ketchup'' and learn it's b/c it's a transliteration #i forget things i'm v interested in like ohh yeahhh i guess my whole life i've been big on linguistics or whatever #i also feel my Math Passion fire up....bit into physics as well. alternate timeline particle physicist me or smthing #quant.......um #but then i also like animals. jot that down #wow wasnt even thinking about it like ‘’nice; the The End works two ways’’ like the Wordplay again lol #why im saying this yet am ‘’im completely incoherent ive never articulated a single thing in my life’’ Well lmao #part of it is im trying to Transcribe my thoughts in ways where it’s like #oops i forgot that maybe this wouldnt read back v comprehensibly lol #was trying to evoke whatever particular maybe vibe or cadence or something but forgot that when im writing down like #‘’okay so i shift from one line of thought midsentence to another with No indication of this’’ lmao like hmm. maybe a comma or semicolon or #Something here bc otherwise of course someone’s not gonna know to read it some certain weird way #had to edit a tag on a prior post like that lmao like nobody’s gonna read it and be able to interpret how you meant it #while sometimes I gotta decode my own writing too lol. rip

[red-applesith]

You're very dismissive of reyloismine. They had so many things right last time, you can't deny it.

Look, as I said I had no idea who that person was before the last anon. I’m all for giving people the benefit of the doubt, and since you’re all so insisting that this person is legit I went to sleuth into their archive to make up my own mind. If you’ve been following me for a while you know I do not take anyone’s word at face value, especially when it comes to leaks and stuff like that.

I’m putting my observations under ‘read more’ and I don’t tag that post because I’m not interested in calling out anyone but my conclusion is that person read the Visual Dictionary one way or another right before it was leaked, because the only detail they had right and no one had predicted was the green milk and that info appeared on Reddit on Dec. 7 via the VD. That’s also the detail they chose to “prove their legitimacy” when objectively there could have been so many more interesting details pertaining to Reylo. Like if they had said “Kylo Ren slides in the corridors like a 4-year-old or “they hold hands” I would believe they were legit. 

Otherwise, from their blog, I have 0 evidence that between Dec. 5th and Dec. 14th they shared information that no one had been able to deduce from watching the trailers, reading the interviews or the leaks on Reddit (aka Shirtless Kylo for instance), especially because they talked like your typical psychic i.e.”Oh yeah, I said that but I didn't’ give details of where and when and I won’t.” or “I’m talking openly about seeing the movie and sharing my old speculation thread where I was about 15% correct pretending I was so right but I won’t say more because I don’ want to spoil the movie for people.” Even saying that there are “good and bad Reylo scenes” means jackshit.

So anyway, Nonnie, you do you but I don’t have to place my trust in someone who couldn’t provide real details and quotes before the movie came out.

Also now I’m annoyed at myself because I wasted the whole morning on that. 

On November 1st that person posted their timeline speculation that goes like that (Bolded Italic their words - my comments underneath. Pictures are theirs)

Episode 8 starts, where the last movie ends: Rey and Luke literal cliffhanger.

Everybody believed that would be the case because one of the first detail that came out from interviews is that there wouldn’t be any time jump, which is why the crew was back filming in Ireland.

However, turns out that the movie starts on D’Qar when they evacuate the base so the prediction for the movie itself isn’t 100% correct.

Luke bewildered, takes the lightsaber that once belonged to his father from a stranger. He asked who is she and how she found him. Rey tells him Leia sent her and that he is needed.

That was an easy one. We* pretty much all had deduced from the way Luke look at Rey at the end of TFA. 

(*collective reylo) 

Luke returns the lightsaber, does not want to be involved, and starts to retreats to his cave when Rey takes off her vest, and showing him that she is force sensitive.

The idea of Luke not wanting anything to do with Rey is there, but the hut/cave scenes and training scenes are all mixed up. There again, that wasn’t groundbreaking speculation since a lot of reylo fanfics started with the premise that Luke doesn’t want to train Rey.

The next day, Luke finds Rey still waiting for him. She was meditating, and he tries to guide her. With his help, her power grew, cracking the floor beneath them.

Continuation of the reluctant master theory, mitigated by the fact we had images of Rey cracking the rock beneath her but Rey wasn’t meditating before he found her. That’s all mixed up.

“I’ve seen this raw strength once before. It didn’t scare me then, it does now“ says Luke and dismisses her once again.

That was in the trailer and it made sense that it was that scene.

Kylo Ren wakes up and finds himself alive on the Supremacy. He does not remember how he got there. The last thing he remember is the scavenger defeating him on Starkiller base. His wounds have been treated, but the scars will remain. A daily reminder of his defeat.

That’s the start of about every fanfics. We knew that Hux had retrieved Kylo and we knew he had the scar from the promo pictures but it didn’t happen like that + turns out Kylo doesn’t even mention the scar at all.

He is escorted to Snoke, who belittles him for being defeated by a girl. He demands from Kylo to prove himself once again. Dismissing killing his father as any form of achievement. Then he is presented with his mask and lightsaber, salvaged from Starkiller base. Snoke orders him to wear it to hide the disgraceful scar.

Same, most fanfics had that kind of element. Snoke being an abuser it was evident he would belittle Kylo and call him on his failure. But the sentiment regarding the scar and the mask was completely wrong.

Once Kylo Ren is back to his chambers, he could not control his rage and destroys his mask.

That came directly from the trailer but it wasn’t in his chambers.

Kylo Ren acts fast and tracks the Resistance fleet, desperately wanting to prove his loyalty. To his surpise, he senses his mother being onboard, and Leia talks to her son. Asking him to come home.

They deduced that almost right from the trailers, apart from the fact that Leia doesn’t say anything at all.

It caught him off guard. He hesitates firing at her ship, then tells his mother to run away and buys her some time before he fires eventually to cover his tracks.

Same. The not firing comes from the trailer but Kylo’s supposed intention to buy some time for Leia to run away was really incorrect.

The Resistance fights back, Leia escapes unharmed and Rose helps an unconcious Finn escape as well.

100% incorrect. 

Back to Ach-to, Rey experiences a force vision, showing the events of the Jedi Massacre, her jumping into the ocean, fending off a sea creature, then fights Luke. I also believe, she sees Kylo Ren too.

It did not happen like that at all, and we all know the sea creature turned out to be the Thala Siren.

Rey decided to go back to the Resistance base the next day. In the meantime, she set a campfire near the Millennium Falcon and are cooking dinner with Chewbacca and R2D2. Luke visits them to say goodbye and gives her some advice.

100% incorrect

Time passes and Rey senses a new presence on the island. She runs towards Luke’s home, only to find the Knights of Ren.

100% incorrect. Also, the scene with Rey running towards the village was deleted in the final montage.

Rey and Kylo Ren duel, while Luke fights the remainder.

Never happened. But a lot of people believed the KoR would make an appearance on Ahch-To.

Rey learns that Kylo was able to trace her due to the force vision she experienced earlier. Somehow he was able to defeat her and takes her to Snoke.

100% incorrect. 

Snoke reveals his intentions with Rey. He wants to train her as his new apprentice. Discarding the old for the new.

100% incorrect

Kylo Ren goes on the offensive, and stops Snoke torturing Rey.

That was correct, but definitely not for the reasons implied above.

Finn learns about Rey’s abduction, infiltrates the First Order fleet with Rose and DJ’s help. DJ has a different agenda, and bombs the place.

100% incorrect apart from the fact that Rose, Finn and DJ are on the Supremacy, wearing FO uniforms

This puts the First Order on alert, resulting in Phasma and Finn facing off.

It didn’t happen like that either. But sure, the Supremacy is in flame and we saw Finn fighting Phasma.

Rey escapes and Kylo intercepts her, pointing his lightsaber at her. Not knowing whether she is consumed by darkness or still the same person. Kylo Ren turns off the lightsaber, not wanting to fight her.

Nope.

Kylo sill say a line similar to  “come with me and together we can rule the galaxy”

That was pretty obvious that it was going to happen, unless you believed Hux was holding his hand out to Rey lmao

She doesn’t and joins Finn and Rose, who board the Millennium Falcon piloted by Poe and Chewbacca.

Nope.

Poe takes the team onboard one of the resistance ships. Only for it to get attacked. The resistance retreat by using escape pods and head to the nearest hideout on Crait for cover. There, the team meet Leia and Luke.Luke returned to the base with Chewbacca and decided to join the battle.

I see where they came from when you look at the pictures, but the details are all off, especially Luke returning to Resistance with Chewbacca.

The First Order have tracked them down. This was it. The final battle.

A battle on Crait to finish the movie, wow who would have seen that coming?

Then on December 5, supposedly after they watch the movie they posted that

I got so many things right and wrong!

Personally, I see way more wrong than right. There’s 0 mention that Rey and Kylo have a Force Bond, there’s 0 mentions of Finn and Rose’s journey on Canto Bight, There’s 0 mention of Holdo or any other character that plays an important role in the story, there’s 0 mention that Kylo actually kills Snoke and becomes Supreme leader.

Still on dec. 5 someone calls them out and they mention the milk scene.

Then on the 7th the Visual Dictionary is leaked and that’s where people start believing they’re really legit. To me that just means they saw the VD. Afterward, why not share something that wasn’t in the VD and wasn’t in any trailer and being all cryptic? Something that wouldn’t have spoiled the movie and Reylo.

[leah-ocarina]

I see a lot of well-intending people saying aces are perfect angels according to society who never run into problems or get judged, because while we don’t get as much shit as some people, coming from the PoV of a panromantic and disabled woman who knows oppression when she sees it, let’s all just set aside the argument of whether or not Aces are LGBT, okay? Just put it out of your mind! This post is not about that, okay? I just want people to know a bit more about what it’s like, because I see them meaning absolutely no harm, but being a bit misinformed. I’ve taken points from another person who was calm and level headed (and can’t track down the post because I am inept at this website hnnnn), and thought I’d go through them.

Again, put the argument of ‘are aces LGBT’ out of your mind. This is about misinformation and not that— and this is definitely in NO WAY me saying asexuals have it worse or as even bad as/as other LGBT people, because we definitely do NOT. (That doesn’t mean we get nothing though!)

Okay. Now that that’s out of the way, the first few points will be from my personal experiences, and if it’s something I heard from someone else I have it clearly marked, and the numbered points are actual copy-pasted quotes from the person’s post:

1) An asexual person is not going to get dehumanized and beat up for not having sex

•Physical violence—Actually yes. We do get beaten up. We also are victims of corrective rape. •Dehumanizing—Dehumanizing is 90% of what people who know I’m asexual do. Things I have heard to me personally from multiple people (and from what I’ve seen, other aces hear the same things):           • Inhuman monsters.           •Nobody will EVER love you because of this. You’re unlovable in every                 way if you stay asexual (as though I can just change it 🙄)           •It doesn’t matter whether or not YOU want to have sex if your partner                 does. Suck it up           •You need to go to the doctor and get fixed           •You need to go to therapy and get fixed           •You’re broken and if you don’t go to the doctor, I don’t even know what to           do with you

         •If you say you’re a sex repulsed asexual/decide to never have sex (🙄) nobody will want             to date/be with you. You’ll be alone forever and you’ll deserve it.

      People verbally bullying us all the time with the intention of dehumanizing us       is literally the main problem I’ve experienced.  •A common one we get is that we’re really closeted gay people and we’re lying to ourselves that we have no sex drive (file under, large groups of people push that asexuality is a myth) •You’re confused and need to suck it up and have sex once so you’ll be cured (side note—also usually the rhetoric attackers use/directly say when corrective rape occurs) •You’re just a moron with a medical condition (I am disabled but none of it effects my sex drive) •If you don’t like sex you don’t even deserve to live because what else are you here for And again those bullet points are just what I’ve heard from multiple people of different backgrounds, and I’ve only identified as ace for two years

2) and if they do, it is less normalized than gay and lesbians getting beat.

•It’s almost like you don’t hear about it often because people tell us to shut up and stop being attention whores so we don’t talk about it as much, and when we do it doesn’t spread as far because less people with relevant blogs (exclusionists) reblog/share it 🤔🤔🤔 •Just because you haven’t heard about it often does not mean that it doesn’t happen often. This is not a popularity contest.

I know one may not think about what that quote actually means, but it invalidates violence/bullying against us NOT by saying it doesn’t happen, just that it’s less important than the other groups. I know you guys mean well, but you can’t really deny it 😕 If it counts for them and not for us that means when it happens to us it’s less important to you—if you disagree please do explain how saying it counts for one group and not the other does not make it less important! Seriously! I want to understand! I just can’t see how “it counts and is impactful to my opinion of them, but not for you” can be taken a different way.

^^^ Also to be clear I mean the exact way it has been phrased here and not the general rhetoric. The normal rhetoric is that it doesn’t happen as often (which it doesn’t) so it doesn’t count. (Debatable, but not what this post is for. Take that argument to the reblogs of another post or one of its own.) The rhetoric in this quote is that even if it happens (which also implies this person didn’t even check 😒) it’s less normalized (which I assume means they hadn’t heard about it) and since they didn’t personally see it that’s why it doesn’t count.

3) If you don't have sexual attraction, cool, but the differences still exists. There are cultures and religions who praise those who stay with abstinence.

•What they actually praise is waiting for marriage. I never experienced this because I don’t go to church regularly (they’re all hellfire and brimstone where I live so I don’t bother 😑), but since looking at asexual tags and such, I’ve seen a bunch of stories from different, otherwise unrelated people that if they tell their priest, etc. they’re ace, they get lectured about how no. They HAVE to have sex after they’re married because that’s the way God intended it to be. You’re required to, and not doing so goes against God. They genuinely throw fits about it and try to get you to change your mind. I was floored when I found out and even more floored when I saw how many people have experienced this (a few said they were saying they were ace in response for calls for abstinence and got an earful), but it seems like they want you to either never have sex because you devoted yourself to God (nun, etc.) or because you waited. After your married though, you’re expected to and judged for not having sex.

4) heterosexuals who call people faggots will call asexuals.. virgins.

•You must have a pretty tolerant group of people you interact with, because that is definitely not what we normally get called lmao. Normally we get called broken, freaks, mentally ill/crazy/someone who needs to take their pills (I’m serious), inhuman, monsters, unlovable, and honestly they just use asexual as the insult too. Like “You don’t know anything you asexual freak!” They’ll point, laugh, look around, tell their friends, then they join in and repeat. They also call us “losers who can’t get laid” [and are making an excuse]. I have never once been referred to as just a virgin in response to my asexuality, and I’ve never seen it anywhere online either. I’m tryna stay as neutral as possible, but this one is just straight up incorrect/really rare.

5) A bonus-- not something I heard from the same person, but still really important----Sexuality is about who you love, not how often you fuck.

This one I got from someone more hostile, and I’ll it admit I was a little baffled by this. This is not the case for all asexuals because it is a spectrum, but I personally am sex repulsed and could never be in a long term relationship with someone who is going to expect sex out of me. Asexuals like me (of which there are many) are extremely limited in who we can be in a relationship with because we need to find other asexuals (which btw causes a lot of mental distress because it makes us feel extremely broken and unlovable). This very clearly determines who we love and saying otherwise is...well if after you read this you still think that way it’s just willful ignorance if I’m honest. :\ Again this was not from someone level headed, but I thought I’d include it to explain it to other people who think the same thing! 

So thank you for coming to my Ted Talk lol. I’m not trying to fire up exclusionist battles or arguments about whether or not asexuals are LGBT, I’m just trying to clear up some of the most common myths about asexuality I see.

#Ace discourse #Asexual #asexuality #tw rape #rape mention #rape #tw bullying #bullying

[pisati]

it’s never so simple as “just”. just do this, just do that, then...

I wasn’t really surprised by my neuropsych results; in fact if I was surprised at all, it was that it went as well as it did. reading “based on educational achievement and performance on measures tapping general fund of knowledge (99th percentile) and reading (99th percentile), [her] intellect is estimated to be well above average” made me smile. good to know my thinker’s still intact. 

I still really want to take some time to research the tests they ran on me, now that I have the names for them. I want to learn what they’re meant to do. what research has shown that those are good empirical measures of cognitive function. just thinking about that gives me the warm & fuzzies. it feels so quintessentially me. I miss getting excited about things.

I knew what the doctor was going to say, partly because I already got the brief rundown from my psychiatrist. once again proving to my doctors that I don’t just want something to be wrong with me, I’m actually grateful that there doesn’t seem to be anything wrong with my brain. my MRI and EEG both came back normal, and on my cognitive function tests I did, to quote the doctor, “very, very well”. he chalked it up to insomnia and depression, possibly whatever’s behind my insomnia as well. so I’m glad I’m seeing my sleep med doctor on the 29th. I just almost panicked for a second because I’ve had that appointment scheduled since january (the woman is booked out for months) and now I’m starting a job and I am scheduled that day, but thankfully the appointment is at 8:30 and I don’t start work til 12:30. phew.

but yeah. they think I should get a sleep study done; like a legit one. the last one I got was just making sure I didn’t have any physical problems affecting my sleep, and I already know I don’t. my brain just won’t quit. I’m going to have to remember to ask the doc if she recommends any rheumatologists in the hopkins system; anyone who could look at my test results and do anything but shrug at me. university-system doctors like to see weird cases, as far as I know. 

I’ve been sitting on this result for two days now, and I don’t really know how to feel. maybe a little confused, but at the same time not. doc thinks my depression is part of why my memory has been declining. and it’s not really memory, necessarily; we both know that. I had a lot of trouble on the story recall test. I need to look into the results more because I think I might have somehow managed to guess more correct answers than incorrect ones on the second part of the story test: at some point after the “recount as many details as you can remember” part, I was asked to say yes or no to statements about each of the stories that the examiner would recite, if I thought that detail was part of the story or not. I knew I was guessing on a majority of them, but somehow I think my results said I got 13/16 right. it was a 50/50 chance on each detail, so it’s not impossible that I could do that well by accident, but I know it was an accident. I really couldn’t fucking remember. anyway I performed in the 4th percentile on that test. very poorly. but it’s consistent with the memory issues I’ve been having for the last two years; information-heavy material just goes in one ear and out the other now. it doesn’t stick. it’s a lot of effort to remember things and it almost feels like my brain assigns importance to things randomly. I don’t forget everything, but I never know what piece of information is going to disappear next. not really “disappear”, of course. we’ve established I’m not losing anything. it just slips deeper into the sludge bucket until I forget it’s even there. 

I think what’s puzzling me most is that he doesn’t think this is characteristic brain fog stemming from an autoimmune disease. at least, that’s what the report says. it really could just be because I’m tired and sad. and it makes me wonder how that could be. on the one hand, I don’t feel like my depression has made it harder for me to think. but on the other... as doc mentioned to me in our meeting, when you feel bad, things just stop working right. people with long-term illness can’t remember what it’s like to function normally. I literally don’t remember what it was like to not be sad. I told him that I did estimate my depression to have started around 17, but looking back... I was exhibiting signs much younger. 13, 14, definitely 15. possibly even before that; I can’t remember not having a melancholic temperament (though I was a pretty happy kid til maybe 9-10, all said). the depression was only obvious to me at 17. I don’t remember what having energy was like either; I don’t remember if having energy helped my brain work better. that energy kick I felt the first day I was on wellbutrin... that was something else. I felt like someone opened a room-darkening curtain just a crack on a bright, sunny day. I had no idea it was even sunny out, or that the outside could be so bright. I remember thinking to myself, this is language-learning energy. this is what I’ve been missing. and just as soon as it was there it was gone again. maybe that really is what I need.

so the real issue, then, is figuring out why the fuck none of my sleep is restful. that kind of puts it back into the hands of both my sleep medicine doctor and my psychiatrist. I just want to know what’s wrong with me. I want to know that one day I can fix it. one day I’ll be able to pull back that curtain entirely and I’ll always be able to have light when I need it. 

it’s also weird reading an objective report of yourself, based partly on your own words and your doctor’s observations. coming out of my own mouth I guess I don’t see my depression as being that bad, but on paper, written by someone else... if it weren’t me and I was reading that, I’d have said “get that kid to a therapist”, lmao. it doesn’t feel that bad. it just kind of is. we’d talked about my home life back in high school, around the time my depression started. I’d apparently described my home life as “not great” (also unsettling to read so many quotes; definitely my words, but they almost read like sarcasm-quotes). sometimes reading things like that, even though I said them... it makes me feel bad. makes me feel like retracting it. well, it wasn’t that bad... like, no, I totally wasn’t writing blog posts at the tender ages of 15, 16, and 17 saying I couln’t stop crying and felt like I wanted to scream and felt like I was going insane because my mother was being a massive bitch to me for no reason other than the fact that she was stressed from work and having a shitty boyfriend and I was feeling a lot of emotions already related to being a “normal” 15-17 year old girl who couldn’t even process those properly because she couldn’t talk to her own fucking mother and was too stressed out at home to be stressed about those “normal” teenage girl things

mom gave me a lot. she gave up a lot for me and worked really hard for me. she raised me and my brother basically by herself, because, bless my father, he was useless before the divorce. I feel like I was able to take those things for granted, and I’m sure I did. but at the same time... you’re supposed to provide for your kids. spoiling us was her choice. but the value of those things, I think, diminishes if you neglect your kids emotionally. I can’t forget some of the awful things she said to me; when she’d storm into my room looking for things early in the morning, snapping at me and calling me a lazy bitch because my room was messy. taking away my things if I didn’t do something she wanted me to. I still don’t feel like I can talk to her about anything personal. sometimes I have to and I’m cautious about it. and even still, she’ll try to hold things over my head. I didn’t think it happened much anymore. I haven’t been able to think of examples to explain it, because it hasn’t happened in so long. but today...

I went to get my EKG done today. I couldn’t tell her that; my psychiatrist ordered it to make sure I was cleared to be on adderall, and I had to go to my GP to do it. mom doesn’t know I’m seeing a psychiatrist. but when I got to the office today (they could only schedule me before the 20th with a doctor that wasn’t my primary), they told me that since my doc wasn’t on my insurance card, insurance might charge a specialist visit fee for the EKG. I texted my mom later asking if we could make my doc my PCP through the insurance, since it’s her policy and I don’t know if I can make those changes, and she said she could do it when she got home. cool. but later I went downstairs and she snapped at me for not visiting her mother. now that we’ve moved grandma to a building a few miles down the road she’s been asking me to go over every single day, and I haven’t been. I guess that makes me a shitty person, but I just really don’t want to. if my grandmother had ever been any kind of pleasant to be around, I’d be more inclined. but anyway, mom said “I’m not changing your insurance til you go visit grandma”. are you fucking kidding me? this shit again? holding something I need over my head til I do what you want? I’m glad I’ll be getting my own health insurance through my job soon. I had to bite my tongue so I didn’t tell her that she’d be footing the specialist bill if that came, then. I get it, grandma’s alone. I’m a major asshole. I’d also like to enjoy my last few days of freedom. it’s absolutely not fucking fair to not change my PCP on my insurance, something that should have been done two years ago when I moved home and started going to this GP, because I don’t want to sit by myself in a room with someone who can barely hear anything I say if I say anything at all and will only talk about her hearing or what a pretty little girl I am; little girl, like I’m still 5

and it is unfair, I suppose, to be talking about my grandma like that. to be actively avoiding spending time with her. I feel like a callous dickhead for feeling the way I do. it’s the same thing I felt about being around my dad, almost. he could be so frustrating and doing literally anything with him, especially towards the end, was ulcer-inducing. I loved my dad to pieces, but I dreaded spending time doing things with him; even a simple trip to the store, it was always something. those conflicting emotions were, and still are, really hard to deal with. 

grandma’s schizophrenic. or, at least, very likely is. she’s lonely. she’s losing it a little (but she’s always been pretty nuts). I feel bad, I really do. I should want to be there for her more. but even my mom says it’s been the same story as long as she could remember. it was always about her. everything was always about her. a lot of it was the schizo. she’d never been diagnosed-- refused to talk to doctors. there’d be no getting her on meds. it just was how she was. but now mom has to hear every single day about how she just doesn’t hear so well anymore and she doesn’t get why (because being 94 doesn’t have anything to do with it) and how she’s terrified of losing her hearing (what’s left of it anyway; she’s deaf in one ear and has a hearing aid for the other). the schizo makes it so that she’s terrified that literally anything will affect her hearing. the AC unit in her apartment. a truck going by. a light, somehow. mom says the blinking light on the phone bothers her and she gets nonstop calls when there’s a voicemail on the machine. mom put a camera in her old apartment to keep an eye on her just in case anything happened, but apparently she couldn’t remotely pivot it if grandma was in the room because the motion would freak her out. and I feel awful about those things. I know what it’s like to live in constant irrational fear. it’s horrible. torturous.

but even as someone who tries to be patient and compassionate when it comes to mental illness, it’s really hard to stay sympathetic when it’s years and years of the same shit and she doesn’t even try to help herself. won’t try to distract herself. keep herself busy. she just wants to stew in thoughts about shit that happened 50 years ago and obsess about her hearing. and there’s really nothing to do besides just try to work around it, since we can’t get her to a psych. mom has tried everything. she won’t do anything by herself or with much of anyone besides my mom, so mom has tried playing boggle with her, coloring in coloring books with her (my idea), sitting and reading with her.. I recommended watching ASL videos with her and doing the signs with her like a game (but of course grandma outright refuses to learn ASL because even the thought of being totally deaf scares her; like, ok, but how will you communicate then). mom says she won’t sit still for long. she just wants to get up and leave the room for a few minutes, turn on the tv real loud for a few seconds to make sure she can still hear, whatever else. there’s only so much you can do and my mom has done all of it. it’s been years of this. sometimes I’ll hear mom yelling on the phone at her because she called, yet again, to ask her if she thinks some completely harmless thing will hurt her hearing (no, ma, it has nothing to do with your hearing! now stop!) or “this lady in my building was asking me about my family and my kids and I don’t know why she wants to know those things” (that’s just what people do! they ask questions to be polite!). even my mom loses her cool with her. it’s so, so frustrating, and it’s even more frustrating to feel so conflicted; like we’re not allowed to be frustrated because she’s mentally ill.

and that’s not to say I haven’t tried too. whenever I’m dragged over there with my mom I’ve tried talking to her, but no reasoning gets through. my aunt is awful to her, but no matter how much we tell her that’s just how she is, she’s like that to everyone, it’s the same things. I told her how my aunt didn’t talk to me for 3 years after a trip she took me on where I did exactly what she said I could do (but didn’t want me to do anyway), and she kind of laughed at it, but then continued on about how my aunt is so awful to her. don’t take it personally... followed by more taking it personally. it’s exhausting. if she can hear me at all, it’s like my words mean nothing anyway. she did like hearing about my rats and seeing pictures of them. she thinks they’re kind of cute. she was really surprised that they have so many babies and she kept talking about how amazing that was. that was probably one of the only good conversations I’ve been able to have with her in years. but I really had to reach and come up with more things to talk about so we didn’t steer back into talk about hearing loss and how pretty I am

it’s just. a lot. I do feel bad about not wanting to spend time with her, especially because I know she needs it. but it’s exhausting and awkward for me; I’d rather not be alone with her because I have nothing to talk about and she’s just going to go on about her hearing and won’t listen to anything I tell her if she can hear me at all and just ugh

don’t remember how my post took that hard left, but it did. writing is nice, tangents and all. I’m still feeling mixed emotions over my results, where to go from here. it probably won’t be as simple as “just” going to another rheumatologist, “just” getting a sleep study done... I don’t know what this is but it’s going to continue being an uphill battle for a while. I’m just glad I have people in my corner who have been reminding me that there’s always something else. I haven’t exhausted every option yet. encouraging me to keep going. it helps so much. if I didn’t even have that little bit to hold on to these last few months... I don’t want to know where I’d be.

I was just thinking about that last night, actually. one of my journal prompts had me thinking about it. the tiniest little things make such a big difference. just hearing I did a good job with something, or that someone’s proud of me. even if it didn’t seem like I did much, or even if my brain wants to tell me they’re just saying those things to be nice. I really haven’t been talking to much of anyone in at least a year. only one person with any kind of regularity. it’s been deafeningly quiet and honestly really lonely. and it easily could have been much quieter and lonelier. I’m not sure I want to know where I’d be if I hadn’t been talking to anyone this last year or so. probably would’ve spent a lot of time back on okcupid, reactivating, feeling sick to my stomach, and deactivating. over winter I was looking for any kind of community online; facebook groups, meetup groups, hell even subreddits... I felt too late to the party on everything. but I guess it hit me real hard that I just missed having company. people to talk to. it was really frustrating watching everyone else living their lives and feeling cocooned away; like I wasn’t doing anything worthwhile and I wasn’t ever going to. I guess that urge mostly subsided. winter is a lonely time in general. I can only imagine where I’d have been mentally if I’d spent the whole thing completely alone.

part of that is really on me for not reaching out. I know I need to let people know more often that I care about them. I’m learning that I’m pretty damn bad at showing it, but I don’t think I realized I was never good at it. I know I show it in different ways from most people, but I thought it was a little more obvious than it probably is. I feel, from an outsider’s perspective, that I seem kind of like a cat. even when I am showing affection, it’s hard to tell. I do wait for people to talk to me first, and I’m not sure why. I don’t think it’s necessarily fear of being annoying, but that does cross my mind occasionally. it feels more like... they don’t want to hear from me anyway. they’ll look at the notification and ignore it for a while before they think of a polite reply. what do I even have to offer them? I guess it’s more fear of being rejected. people have asked me why I don’t invite friends over to do things instead of waiting to be invited out, and I asked myself the same question. but then I realized... I did do that. I’d ask charlotte to go to concerts with me, she’d either ignore me or not really want to go. I asked her if she wanted to do even a monthly craft night, if I could go over and help her clean her house; anything. we did two yoga classes together and that was it. now she’s too busy to even talk to me; my messages go unread for days. all of a sudden she actually wants to spend time with sawyer; the boy she’d ditch handily for me when they were still dating. she’d nudge me out the door when it was about time for him to come home from work, even though he’d usually go straight upstairs and not bother us anyway. she just posted pictures on snapchat of them going to a peach farm to pick peaches, and she takes him to all these antique markets and stuff that she knows I’d like going to too. always busy doing something with his family, when I do ask if she has a free weekend. can’t really invite my PA friends over either, and I’d only ever been successful in getting one of them to come visit me more than once. the others, and only some of them, came down for my little grad party in 2017. that was it. I absolutely am projecting the results of a few past rejections on to my future, but I really do fear rejection. I’d rather not even bother. good thing I spent a lot of time learning how to be alone, I guess.

I forget where I was going with this. my eyes are starting to cross; I think it’s bedtime

#rambles rambles rambles #I always say 'sometimes you just need to word vomit' #and that's the truth #but man oh man if I'm not going at 60 tangents a minute #I just talk and talk #good to get it out I guess #blah blah nothing important