#is it obnoxious to do it like this or does it work

[bitchsister]

UHHHHMMMM YEAAAA SOOO U R NOT GONNA TELL ME LUCKYCHARMS CURT WENT THROUGH A CASUAL BY CHAPPELL ROAN PHASE WITH BUCKY AND EXPECT ME NOT TO DEMAND ANSWERS ABOUT THAT

Alright anon…. Fine

I’m totally working out of order with my requests but i promise, I’m chugging along!!

Shoutout to Crosby for being a good roommate and bestie!

This kinda hurt my heart!!!!! :)

Also Alex I know this was u that asked this. Coward

Six months — Curt felt sick with it. He’d check his phone religiously, hoping a new text would arrive from Bucky and when it wouldn’t, his mood would reflect just that.

He’d start fights at the skate park for no real reason, even swung his cue stick at an annoying forty-something who couldn’t find anything better to do than judge of game of pool between a group of drunken college kids who were only there to have fun.

He was then banned from the only bar within walking distance with a pool table.

He laid in his dorm room, staring at the bottom of Crosby’s bunk as he contemplated sending the text.

We need to talk

Delete, delete.

Can we talk?

Delete.

“Just send it.” Crosby rolled his eyes dramatically, hopping up into his bed and draping himself over the side to watch him type another text out and delete it. “You’re both adults. Dude’s acting like a fucking child.”

Curt sighed heavily, switching the cheek in which he sucked on his lollipop. “He’s a lawyer, Harry.” He rationed, though he knew it wasn’t a decent excuse for not hearing from him for six days. “He’s just busy, m’sure.”

The last time they were together, Curt spent the whole weekend and everything was so devastatingly romantic in a way he wouldn’t expect the same person that cooked him dinner, laid Curtis down and massaged his entire body, sat with him in an obnoxiously large bathtub with champagne, to go ghost for almost an entire week.

“He’s playing the field, Biddy.” Crosby stayed where he was, hanging upside down over their bunks to watch Curt type out yet another text. “Better to get this over with now rather than later.” He’d done his fair share of back and forths. “Situationship with a man ten years your senior?” He huffed. “It’ll put you in the ward — take it from me.”

He slung himself back into his own bed, yawning loudly before he continued. “Send it. Tell him what you want out of this.” He flicked the little lamp clipped to his headboard on, a book cracked open in his lap. “Or suffer in silence, ‘cause I can’t do this shit with you anymore.”

Curt nodded slowly, having no true rebuttal as he knew full well Harry was making decent points.

“Full send.” He mumbled, thumb smashing the little blue send button, his phone tossed up to Harry into his bunk. “I ain’t lookin’. Just tell me if he responds.” He hugged his folded arms over his eyes, a loud sigh deflating him.

Five minutes passed by but to Curt it had felt like an eternity.

“Damn,” Harry opened Curt’s phone, his passcode memorized from all the times he’d hijacked Curt’s Uber account to order them rides from the bars or to drain all of his credits on his TouchTunes. “Probably waiting by the phone like you were, Biddy.”

Curt peeked from behind his arms, his voice muffled. “What’d he say?”

“He said —“ Crosby turned on his side, squinting at the screen that was spiderwebbed with cracks. “I can pick you up. Question mark.”

Another groan rolled out of him as he sat up, his hands covered in the sleeves of his sweatshirt scrubbed over his face. “Say yes. Say — uh, say yes, I’d like that, or somethin’.”

He scrambled to yank his clothes off, scuttling around to find another outfit.

“Ah, no.” Crosby laughed as he shook his head, typing out a simple and to the point ‘Ok’ and hitting send. “Let’s remember who ghosted you for a week, please. Right now, you like nothing he does.” His gaze landed on Curt who stared up at him. “Okay?”

“Okay.”

Bucky pulled up outside of the south hall where Curt climbed into his car and picked at the cuts on his knuckles. “Hey.” He said simply, looking over at Bucky who looked exhausted but still just as beautiful, his hand reached over to rest over Curt’s left thigh.

“Hey.”

Their spot wasn’t far from campus - only about a two minute drive away was an overlook near the river where Bucky put his car into park, his body turning toward Curt to really look at him. “What’s up?” He asked, biting back a yawn. “Thought you’d be getting to bed by now.”

Curt shook his head slowly, his fingertips tracing the veins in Bucky’s hand. “I couldn’t sleep.” I’ve missed you for a whole week. “Thinkin’ about you.”

If it wasn’t so dark, Curt would have seen Bucky’s cheeks and how they’d been painted all rosy. “That right?” He hooked his hand around Curt’s and pulled him into his lap. “What about me?”

Curt felt Bucky’s hands slide beneath his shirt, palms pressed to the soft and warm skin there. He couldn’t speak, couldn’t lay his heart out on the line like that so instead he kissed his lips, fingers threaded through his sleepy waves that had been in bed already, his poor brain completely obliterated by the workday.

“Oh,” Bucky whispered, “missed that.”

Then why haven’t you spoken to me?

Where have you been?

Why did you go ghost for almost an entire week?

Curt bit his tongue, too high on getting what he’s daydreamed about since the last time he felt it to sour the moment by demanding answers.

It’d dawned on Bucky rather quickly that the way Curtis tasted would stay with him for ages.

Sweet, artificial cherry where in the background somewhere a joint smoked on the sidewalk as he waited for Bucky to pick him up left its mark.

Days would pass, and Bucky could still taste him.

Curtis lingered. He made an impression, slathered over the brains of anyone he crossed paths with.

Loud, little, an electric shock to the system.

Bucky licked into his mouth, sucked on his tongue, chased the taste of him into the back of his own throat. He behaved as if he wanted to devour him. Like he’d been starved just as badly as Curtis had been.

So, why hadn’t he just said something?

Why didn’t he ask to see him?

Why, why, why?

A surge of adrenaline had woken Bucky up, his hands guiding Curt to lie his belly over the center console, his ass in Bucky’s face as Curt giggled. “Said you wanted to talk,” he whispered, pulling the elastic waistband of Curt’s sweatpants below the supple curve of his ass. “Or did you just want this?”

Curt groaned softly into the leather seat he hid his face in, his thighs spread apart as Bucky got into position between them, his tongue licking big, fat stripes over Curt’s hole that missed him so desperately.

No one, absolutely no one did it for him the way Bucky did.

His hands, his lips, his hair, his mustache that Crosby said was so Dilfy. His teeth, his eyes, his voice and the way he called Curt baby once after a bottle of wine.

He held onto it.

He replayed it over and over in his mind.

Ride that cock, baby.

Baby.

Baby.

Oh, please, can I be your baby?

“I told you,” Curt whispered softly through a moan once Bucky really began to eat him up, his thighs shaking as he rut his ass into Bucky’s face. “I missed you so much.”

Barely there, hardly audible above the obscene sounds Bucky’s mouth had been making.

A loud crack of skin pierced his eardrums, his left asscheek stinging once Bucky had pulled away and spread him just to get a look and soak him all up. “You’re just perfect,” what are you doing with someone like me? “Let me take you home with me.” His voice was rough and yet so gentle when he pulled Curt back into his lap.

Face to face again.

“I got class in the morning.”

“I’ll drop you off.”

Curt cupped Bucky’s cheeks, nodding slowly as he huffed to catch his breath. “I can’t skip.” He shuffled back into the passenger seat, his sweatpants throw into the back with his underwear, his big sweater long enough to cover him if need be. “Need this final to pass.”

Bucky had thrown it into drive faster than ever, trying his best not to become too distracted by Curtis who leaned against the passenger side door and faced Bucky as he drove, his thighs lifted and his toes curled as he fucked himself with his fingers.

“Fuck.” I’m so in love with you. “You’re filthy.” You’re too good for me.

“You want me, don’t you?” Curt shivered with another moan that ripped right through him. “Want me so fucking bad. Look at you.” He extended his leg to toe over the bulge in Bucky’s own sweatpants, his favorite ones for sleeping, not for concealing a hard-on.

Bucky stayed silent, his lip between his teeth as he drove.

“Don’t you.” Curt urged, the sole of his foot pressed against Bucky’s erection.

“Mhmm.”

Not good enough.

“Then why ain’t you talked to me for a week?” Curt was stroking himself instead, saving the fucking for Bucky.

This isn’t how he expected to ask, but some sort of confidence had taken over.

“I - I was just busy.” Bucky turned to look at Curt, his brows furrowed as he wondered how they’d so quickly ended up here. “Work, Curt.”

“You couldn’t send me a single text?”

Bucky swallowed the lump in his throat, staring at the red light that taunted him. “I — it doesn’t mean I don’t wanna see you..”

“Then why haven’t you?”

“I told you. Work.”

Curt scrambled to his knees, leaned over the console but this time it was to get closer to Bucky’s face with his own. “Try again.” His sights narrowed and his lips tugged into an annoyed grimace. “Why haven’t you?”

Bucky sat silent for awhile, driving idly as they caught every red light under the sun. “Listen — I —“ he blinked a few times, trying to arrange his thoughts “What do you want out of this, Curt?”

Caught off guard, Curtis slowly backed away from Bucky and sat on his folded legs in the passenger seat, his expression morphing from everything to nothing. “What do I want out of this?”

“Yeah, I - I mean—“ Bucky stuttered. “What do you want out of this? Out of us? Do you see this going anywhere?”

Curt was unsure how to answer that, absolutely certain that what he said next could make or break everything but he didn’t quite care.

Was Bucky who he thought he was?

Why’d he bring Curt to his home, make him dinner and eat him out like he was dessert the first night they met if there wasn’t something between them?

“These things, Curt. They get easier with age, you know..”

He wanted to throw up.

In fact, he was certain he would.

He scrambled to pull his sweatpants back on, scrapping his underwear in Bucky’s backseat. “Fuck this.” He grumbled, tugging his shoes on that were thankfully already tied. “And fuck you.”

{ending this here. Curt definitely gets out and walks back to campus but Bucky follows him all the way back and begs for him to come back and talk. Curt absolutely does not}

#💌 #at least their situationship is successful eventually #the drama #curtbucky #lcau

[cellbitupdates]

🟩 Dos mods do Cellbit/🟥 From Cellbit's mods/🟨 De los mods de Cellbit:

🟩 Voltaremos quando o Cellbit voltar de Los Angeles/🟥 We'll return when Cellbit gets back from Los Angeles/ 🟨 Volveremos cuando Cellbit regrese de Los Ángeles ❤️

🟩 O que provavelmente será amanhã ou no final desta semana. Na segunda-feira ele mencionou que poderia tentar entrar no QSMP para conhecer o novo criador coreano Jungryeok, mas ele não disse nada definitivo.

🟥 Which will likely be tomorrow or later this week. He mentioned yesterday that he might try to log onto QSMP for the new Korean creator Jungryeok but didn't say anything definitive.

🟨 Que probablemente será mañana o más tarde esta semana. El lunes mencionó que podría intentar entrar el QSMP para conocer al nuevo creador coreano Jungryeok, pero no dijo nada definitivo.

#cellbit #when will he be live #<- gonna be the tag for whenever the schedule changes. maybe. #first real update since people are probably wondering when he'll go live this week #i think his flight back was yesterday (hence the time sensitive stream) so he is probably back home #it's just a matter of whether he feels up to streaming yet or not tomorrow #also how do people feel about this in terms of translations and formatting #is it obnoxious to do it like this or does it work #bc i dont want to like put everything in english at the top and then every other language below if i can help it #like for transcripts it'll probably be different but it just depends #and im not sure if i'll always be able to do translations depending on the post it's a lot and again i'm not fluent #but anyway. here's this #also i'm gonna put his usual stream schedule in the pinned eventually i just wasn't really expecting to make an updates account and then #well it happened #i can also emoji code translations maybe? like do it based off the lang colors on twitter (so its not country based) #so red = eng yellow = esp green = ptbr #i dont speak french well enough to translate for that so unless someone wants to help with that it'll just be those three usually #anyway im overthinking this to the max here you go he might be live tomorrow he might not #mod bell

[riacte]

so hey guys i finished dungeon meshi yesterday and i'm still thinking about it

#ria.txt #i spoiled myself so at first i was like 'this is bonkers wtf are they doing in those last few chapters?????' #but then it was like. yeah. i see #love those ch when it's just clearly putting the squad into Situations #also. izutsumi #what i really liked was how tightly the protagonist and the deuteragonist were wound up in the overall themes #the plot the themes the conflict the characters it was very neatly connected #hence i am also now accidentally invested in whatever going on between laios and marcille #not just platonic not romantic not enemies i just think they work well tgt and deeply care for each other its great watching them develop #it's the leader + most trusted advisor / anxious girlfailure + the annoying freak she's somehow attached to vibes #haha that rabbit chapter with marcille. hahha i was like what the fuck man. it was funny and then boom whump [tears streaming down my face] #those shapeshifter chs were sooo much fun esp seeing other chara's perceptions of each other. stealing that #the changeling ones were great too elf senshi is the fucking funniest he looks sooooooo unserious #marcille's evolving perception with death starting with saving falin and saving the squad and her nightmares of outliving everyone- #-and her dad and her 'temper tantrum' and UGH when at the end she said she was fine with falin not coming back.... WAAA. OUGH. #i think dunmeshi handled the trope of 'prophecy of chosen one becoming king' pretty well and it makes sense why laios is the protag #the worldbuilding is so thoughtful as well i liked seeing different characters with different worldviews interact #very solid and well rounded series wooo #the main 4 has such a fun dynamic together #anyways. dunmeshi au..... #more like borrowing the worldbuilding bc charas are too nuanced for a one to one comparison #ren is like some prince of his own species but he's like 34th in line and no one cares about him so he fucks off to eat monsters #which is why he's both snobbish AND a total freak when it comes to his food taste #false is originally in for the money from ren and plans to scam him but unfortunately the cringefail swag captures her #martyn is Obnoxiously Clueless and thinks he's smart but he's not. he's resourceful but also pathetic and crazy #stress cant cook but she thinks she does so everyone goes (≖_≖ ) when she picks up a pot. they delegate her to killing and chopping duty #the mvp is iskall who keeps on saving everyone's asses and somehow has resources for everyone #i think ren is actually aware false is going to scam him but he has too much money to spend anyway and he thinks shes cool so he lets her?? #and somehow she doesnt take the money and run. and goes back to eating monsters w/ the party. everyone is crazy

[shorlinesorrows]

i'm eighteen years old and just got my phone taken away in a school library for reading on it during a free period instead of doing my (nonexistent) homework

*screams in frustration*

#this is why i don't “utilize the school library” #the Vibe is lowkey terrible and I'd rather go to the public one downtown when i can because the “librarian” here does stuff like this #it's kinda wild how people percieve phones and laptops differently tbh #if you're a phone you're “being lazy” #but if you're on a computer you must be productive #but i just logged onto the kindle website on my laptop and i'm doing functionally the same thing #i have actual videogames on my laptop i can play and have played in here #and rn i'm on social media instead of READING IN A LIBRARY #but it's considered “fine” because they think I'm doing my nonexistent hw because i have a big screen that costed more than a small screen #also it's lowkey humiliating to have this person (who isn't even an actual librarian) come up to me and take my phone for no actual reason #like i don't even have a class right now? and i don't have a physical book i want to read atm???? I'm not playing obnoxious music??? #I'm not disrupting anyone around me and you just effectively stole my book in the middle of a library and told me i couldn't read it #maybe I'm getting overly worked up over this but I'm actually really upset rn #books & libraries #the horrors of high school #high school #library

[alteredphoenix]

As glad as I am that BG3 is being positively received, I hope subsequent patches later on down the road allow you to establish friendships with your companions and allow you the option to leave them at just that while giving you to be able to pursue beyond them into consensual romance, because if I ever get around to trying it out for myself I am not going to look forward to having my PC get sexually harassed over and over and over again until the NPC finally takes no for an answer and backs off.

#like. why are the companions designed like way? #what if i just want to be friends with them #why do they double down on their advances if you keep turning down them? #it's not only obnoxious but extremely uncomfortable #like don't get me wrong i'd still like to play it #but if i want to pursue a romance with a companion in a game #i want it to be done at MY OWN PACE #make me WORK FOR IT #i remember seeing that article where the larian devs say they hope they did '90s bioware proud #with their writing #and maybe the story is good idk #but i played DAO and i'm pretty sure you can't bang your choice in under 8 minutes #w/o cheesing it that quickly #idk i think it should deserve its praise #but that same praise shouldn't overshadow the criticisms it does have #and the romancing aspects - and the lack of platonic relationships - is one of them #from what i have read up so far #like if you can put in that much effort to include a scene where you can bang the druid Like That #then i think more effort can be done to flesh out that system he is a part of #bg3

[nientedal]

I just saw ANOTHER post lamenting this change, so I'm just gonna say "fuck it" and make a how to do the thing post, and if I'm misunderstanding the outrage... lol, this is tumblr, I'm sure someone will tell me.

Currently, if you want to go to a post in the middle of a reblog thread, you have to click the empty space in what I call the reblog header. The reblog header is the space that holds a user's name and reblog details, and on desktop, it turns a different color when you move your cursor over it. It's this space:

It doesn't change colors on mobile, obviously, because no cursor, but I think tapping is a little more intuitive on mobile anyway and afaik this particular thing has been this way here for a while now...? Whatever. Anyway, that's how you get to a mid-thread reblog!

(I actually do kinda like this new setup. It's not perfect, it can be annoying if someone's URL is long or if I accidentally click "Follow" instead of the header space. But overall, the space to click into a prior reblog is bigger now and I like that. I don't think I'll have to worry as much about mouse precision or drowsy coordination issues, which is nice. Maybe I'll be able to use the desktop version more.)

However, this means that in order to see "prev tags," you apparently have to click into the notes view and scroll until you find them. That's annoying for those who want to see them, and I can't blame anyone for being irritated. If you're new here you may be surprised to learn "prev tags" is fairly recent, so my recommendation (if you're looking for an alternative) is to put the actual tags from the user you're reblogging from, instead. This was normal prior to the "prev tags" trend if you wanted to share tags without screenshotting them, and it seems like tumblr has made it super easy now. The mobile app now automatically suggests the previous tags, and on desktop, they show up in a dropdown when you click to tag your post. Personally, I like to put "<-borrowing your tags bc funny" or "<-stole your tags for truth" or something right after, so I don't feel like I'm taking credit for someone else's phrasing. But either way, it's handy for your followers to be able to read the tags you liked without having to click to a different blog.

I'm hoping this particular change will be seen as useful after the rocky adjustment period is over.

All this being said, I personally like these particular changes, but I wish Tumblr would not roll out changes as rapidly as they seem to be recently. Either change everything at the same time or give it a rest, holy shlamoly! I stopped using Facebook because it seemed like every time I opened it, something was different, and it became jarring and uncomfortable to try to use. I'm starting to have a similar feeling about tumblr, and I don't like it.

#i suspect the prev tags trend is the reason for this change tbh #a tagging system is an organizational system and 'prev tags' is literal junk for organization purposes #even in conversational or informal context #they made copying tags super convenient? and using prev tags obnoxiously INconvenient? #like......i dunno. do the math. 🤷 #doesn't mean you gotta be happy about it of course; I'm just saying. i bet that's why #honestly I'm just looking forward to not having to click through to a blog i don't care about just to see what the prev tags were #usually i don't even bother but occasionally someone will talk about the previous tags in THEIR tags #and i wanna know context. so. looking forward to that maybe not being a thing #anyways #dal is a text post #tumblr update #also i don't have hand tremors or anything like that but when I'm tired oh my god #precision is my enemy lol #really looking forward to just. header click! yay! #that's gonna be so nice on desktop omg #but uh. as long as I'm yelling in the tags? prev tags can die in a fire and i will cheerfully roast marshmallows over its flickering corpse #it's a mildly annoying trend at worst but it does not belong with the way this website works #just tumblr things #new user

[orcelito]

Ykno the common critique I've seen around is that trimax fights r hard to follow & such. And I've always had the kind of thought of like "I mean sometimes it can be confusing, but if u stop to study it it's really not that bad"

Having a fight analysis post kinda blow up tho I'm seeing ppl comment over and over in the tags about how hard it is to keep up with the fights... and I'm just like. Is it really that confusing? Like genuinely. I thought it was one of those overblown fan critiques but it seems like a Lot of people agree with it.

#speculation nation #in the original manga Yea fights were pretty hard. took me a Lot of squinting to figure out what actually happened with the Nebraskas #but idk most of the fights r just vibes. u follow along and feel what the characters r feeling and the fine details dont matter. #a lot of times i do end up flipping back and forth between pages bc there r details revealed later on that make earlier things make sense #or just looking for clarification. that kind of thing. #so yeah it kinda does take some work to fully understand it but i kinda figured that's like... how manga fights go... #i much prefer this over the common shounen trope of stopping the fight to explain every single move that's done #so im just like 'come ON i already understood it!!! can we keep going already????' #is it the fact that nightow doesnt do this that makes it so confusing??? so ppl dont get the play by play as it happens??? #this all probably sounds obnoxious but im just genuinely trying to make sense of it. #i guess im also just a perceptive person when im paying attention to smth. maybe that's what it ultimately boils down to. #one person commented saying theyd kill if i did play by plays for all the trimax fights lol #i probably wont for All of them bc that sounds like quite a project #but if another catches my attention in this same sorta way... then maybe. #i guess understanding nightow's fights is a skill. probably at least partially assisted by being able to read the sound effects. #oh yeah. that's another thing lol. i can read the sound effects. and that especially helps with knowing how many shots there are #stuff like that. 🤔 yea i dunno. i wasnt expecting that post to get so many notes. #but it's well over 400 now and still counting. waking up to 99+ notifications is... an experience lmao

[vimbry]

while I'm on the subject, I like this description of adam bernstein's directing style from an interview about the adventures of pete and pete

#I do like the way his work looks #like a Lot of alternative/indie '90s to turn of the millennium stuff went for the oblique kind of ''in your face'' cinematography #it could probably also be viewed as obnoxious in cases by some lmao I'm fully aware my fondness comes from nostalgia #lot of close-ups/wide-angles #hype williams was kind of the pioneer for the latter one in music videos #maybe because it's because that was a generally irreverent period and. I hate to use the word ''quirky'' lmao. surrealistic? #so directors were aiming for appropriate visuals #but adam bernstien's style is also very distinctive with it. #like you watch scenes from pete and pete and his videos of the time like tmbg's stuff. baby got back. and love shack #and you can See his trademarks #in fact I was so convinced that REM's ''stand'' was gonna be by him and it isn't. BUT #it Was by katherine dieckmann. who also worked on pete and pete! #I guess they shared similar tastes #and now he does stuff like breaking bad and fargo. isn't that something #I've yet to watch those series so I haven't seen if a lot of his trademarks still remain more subdued work haha

[andromeda3116]

like, i'm aware of what the comics and whedon himself have said, but i believe that:

a) shepherd book is a former operative, and

b) the liquid in the vial inara prepared in the first episode was some kind of suicide medicine, that would kill her rather than allow her to be captured

these are just. objectively better story ideas, with better characterizations and better explanations, than what the actual "official" canon answers are.

#firefly #serenity #yes okay i started watching serenity after making that post #i needed an immediate scratch for that itch #but i just. how could any backstory food book be better than ''former operative who turned to shepherding the diaspora''? #the whole *point* of an operative is - as he tells mal - that he *truly* believes! #so book is a former operative who lost faith in the alliance but found it in the people! #he ended up on serenity because he wanted to find something to believe in! #and he did! #and as for the inara thing....... #i will happily (for The Angst reasons) accept that she has a terminal illness #but that whole thing about giving herself over to be raped is just.... yeah no. we're not doing that #not in this house. #it was going to kill her #end of story #these are objectively better story choices #also like. i will accept book's death as having in-story value #but wash's death was purely gratuitous and obnoxious #i guess i can see the justification of ''it was so wild we shouldn't have everybody be fine!'' but that is NOT the way to do it #it just does not work with the story at that point #if you'd felt the need to kill someone then simon getting shot by the reavers was right there #or you could have killed wash in the fight! that would have worked! and would have felt like it had stakes! #killing him right there and like that was just. ugh #bad writing choice. #*FOR book not food book jfc it took me ages to figure out what that typo was #like. i compare how whedon killed wash to how i killed longshot in my firefly au #killing longshot during the final battle carries weight! he went back to save sokka! bee's breakdown happens at a critical point bc of it! #it feels earned! it's a logical point for someone to die! he died saving the love of his life and a good friend and his best friend! #its weight pulls the end of the battle down into the darkness! #killing wash at the end of the flight but before the battle is jarring and awkward and not in a good way

[wolfofwinchester]

I know canonically it isn't so, but wouldn't it be cool if any time you tried to take a picture of any member of the Phantomhives, there's always something a little odd with it? A blur in the facial region, an odd dark spot in the corner, a strange double effect. Paintings are one thing done by the human hand unless possessed, new age photography is technological invention.

#(( I have had this thought More Than Once. )) #(( eventually some of them might refuse having their picture taken - saying they never look good in it. others think it a little obnoxious #but don't see it as a deterrent. the whole thing is still new and isn't expected to work *perfectly* after all. )) #【 musings. 】 ¦ my heart’s aflame; my body’s strained ― but god; i like it. #【 ooc. 】 ¦ out of sight; out of mind; out of time. #(( Sebastian likely manipulates the camera so the picture *does* come out clearly when it involves Ciel.. /most/ of the time. )) #(( other times it's simply like something else is buffering against it. )) #(( pesky. but what can you do? it's not *trying* to get Ciel so. 🤷‍♀️ ))

[un-pearable]

does dareth’s dojo have a logo. i cannot remember but i need him to so badly

#ninjago #i THINK he does but i have neither the time nor braincells to check #as per usual i am incapable of being chill about requests and instead beloved mutual iratusmus’ lloyd request as #an excuse to finally sketch out my s1/s2/post child’s play designs and im having fun #but also oh so much reading assigned this week. oh the wonders of the humanities. tldr slow art but having fun #might redesign it anyway if he has one i don’t like #i can do calligraphy. i can do it. #holy shit i need to do calligraphy for ninjas more that’s a great idea #text✨ #agshdjfj sorry i worked club rush today i used up all my braincells shilling for anthropology to randos #i haven’t watched everything but i know he has a karaoke bar now. does that one have a logo and is it as obnoxiously about his own name #as he deserves?

[arundolyn]

...lesson learned: i didnt realize how hard most blazblue and pre-strive gg basslines go.

#crow.txt #im testing out some new speakers i nabbed from work yesterday #bc i didnt have a subwoofer on my old ones #i underestimated the power. #bullet dance? marionette? IMPERIAL CODE? YOU THINK ITLL BE FINE. IT WILL NOT. #i will say it does improve the experience tho its very cool! however you will be so obnoxious about it #which is why im doing it when nobodys home #THE FUCKING REFRAIN OF IMPERIAL CODE IM LISTENING RN JESUS CHRIST. #i have the bass knob up only halfway. volume is moderate. motor head was making my desk shake constantly. #somehow the blazblue ones were much less expected than like.. xrd. i dont know why. somehow i was not cognizant of the crazy shit going on #i now very very badly want to experience all blazblue songs i like like this. it must be insane. jaeger and stand unrivaled. insane. #CRYSTAL FOREST EVEN TOO PROBABLY. #i never noticed how wild queen of rose's bassline is #just like The Whole Time. even outside the little bridge part at around 1:30. help. rachel???? #you think like trigger and what will you fight for and mirror of the world go hard #and yet #you dont even fucking KNOW what daisuke is capable of #that is TAME by gg standards!!!!

[therealvalkyrie]

ignore this i just need to vent somewhere alkdjcmksd

#so i have two dogs #and the younger one is essentially a rescue #we got him from family friends who somehow accidentally traumatized him slash didn't train him well as a puppy #and long story short now he's a bit of a nightmare #very sweet to me and people he knows but not good with new people or kids or being in a public space with lots of people etc etc #and one of the more obnoxious things he does is he barks VEHEMENTLY every single time someone comes home #he barks at me at my moms at the fedex guy EVERYONE #it's annoying #so anyway today my mom comes home from work and as usual he's barkin up a storm and I'm trying to distract him but it's not working #and my mom SLAMS open the door and yells at him to shut up and I just jump a FOOT in the air #because that shit's startling! i'm startled! #and little idiot dog is startled into silence too and shows his belly and finally shuts up #and yeah i guess it's effective #but like #he's already traumatized. do we have to traumatize him more? he's not gonna start being quiet if you scare him MORE #i'm just frustrated. #it's just this pattern of behavior where SHE gets frustrated and gets really loud at him (which I don't think is helpful at ALL) #and then i get startled and on edge bc I don't fucking like when people yell!! sorry! #and then i'll point out that there's a better way and get dismissed and I'm just. #sigh #just frustrated #like there's no need to raise your voice. #for fucks sake #okay /end rant #sorry haha #valkyrie talks #tag rant

[welcome-to-the-cattle-dome]

more positivity for the day before i log off,,, s/o to the remind feature on discord bot nadeko for helping me keep track of shit ex. meds LMFAOOOOO

#LIKE TRULY . IT'S BEEN THE MOST USEFUL METHOD OF KEEPING TRACK OF ANYTHING FOR ME BECAUSE IT'S DISCORD IS THE ONE THING I CONSISTENTLY GO + #- BACK TO #and That's bc online friends.. 95% communication thru there #it's . quite a thing to find out what works JWH BGVRHWARKWA #AND IT'S ANNOYING THAT NOTHING ELSE DOES BUT MAN . W/E WE ARE WINNING FOR NOW #rambling #like the thing i did to remind me to do my homework last year was have a sticky note obnoxiously poking out of my phone #fucked up

[soryualeksi]

Ranting about coworkers again~~~~~

So.

It's like I'm trading one completely unhinged colleague for another sometimes...

So thankfully Ms "I will now throw a fit and yell at you if you don't invite me out to my favourite restaurant during work-time" looked for and found another station to work at (maybe they promised her fine dining every day as part of her regular shifts, who knows), but now I'm stuck with this teenage boy like straight out of school, and mind you, it's no problem to have young colleagues at all - but let me tell you in German, he is "Immer zweimal mehr wie du!!!" (Let's translate this as a purposely childish way of saying "Always twice as many as you!!!")

Insufferable.

I'm a patient person and I just. I'm exhausted from spending 6,5 hours today just listening to all the things he's perfect at. It's draining. I get it. He's perfect. He can do EVERYTHING. And he knows the most and he's the bestest of the best in everything, blah blah blah, normally I will just let him talk and let it go through me. He can talk for hours about himself and how everyone is so astonished about how perfect he is at the job. (I'm a nice person and didn't hit him with the "Everyone except your best friend is SICK of you talking about yourself nonstop", because really they a) can tell him himself and b) I didn't wanna be a bully and just stomp him into the ground with that for no real reason, he's just a teen. A very annoying one.)

But anyway, so I'm mostly just listened about all his great feats and then he's like "oh I can speak some Japanese". And I kinda perk up and go like "oh I actually speak quite a bit of Japanese". And because I'm a nice and friendly and supportive and helpful person (lol) I'm also like "Really, I can only recommend Duolingo a lot." And because I ALSO wanna be a bit funny I add in a joking tone "And watching lots of anime."

Cue:

"Well, you DO know that anime doesn't have REAL Japanese, right?"

In. Fucking. Sufferable.

#why am i the magnet for absolutely exhausting colleagues #the answer is that only complete weirdos want to work the job that's a fact #everyone is a weirdo in one way or another every single one you meet #but some are more exhausting to deal with than others let me tell you #yOu KnOw ThAt Is NoT rEaL jApAnEsE #stylized media speak doesn't mean it's somehow not the language you obnoxious twerp lmao #obnoxious twerp let me tell you #i keep reiterating but really i know I'm also an annoying weirdo colleague #but i hope I'm not that insufferable #he also constantly tries to overstep what he's allowed to do unaided in terms of medical stuff but he's been told he'll be on his own #if he does that and something goes wrong #nobody but him has the responsibility and nobody will protect him and he will face the consequences alone #'i know how to do it' YES SO DO WE ALL STICK TO THE LAWS BUT OK #but not my circus not my monkeys more experienced people than me have already had that talk with him #maybe one day he'll get fired or worse but i won't enable his bullshit on my shifts at least #anyway enough venting #oh but!!! i think his work bestie who is the same age as him is super jealous because i had one shift with him today and she was PISSED #and I'm like. girl for me you both are kids I'm sorry but you are. #whyyyyy am i the weirdo magnet whyyyyy it's totally not because of the crowds i hang out with lmao #anyway #vent vent vent #soryuchan's personal issues

[alchemiclee]

as a fellow introvert; we are social creatures. introverts who purposefully see no one for months on end are usually just in a cycle where its been so long since they’ve hung out that it’s too intimidating for them to do anymore. i 100% feel tired after hanging out with my friends but i DO also feel happy and refreshed! tl;dr - you’re super normal lol. try to reach out to a couple people just to chat this week <3

thanks for reaching out I really appreciate it❤️ but I have to rant a bit. I allow you to ignore it!

I wish to not be a social creature because going too long without having a friend to talk to or not having someone to talk with almost daily feels bad and it's so hard to have a friend when I need one D:

i've been reaching out to people for the last few weeks or so but they don't reach back. try playing games with people but they play with their other friends or dont feel like playing. invite people to hang out but they say maybe and never give an answer or don't respond.

I don't want to bother my closest friends in our group chat too much in our group chat but the chat is mostly me sending messages with no response and even couple times saying I need a friend when I was having bad days but they didn't want to chat and I dont want to force anyone to entertain my lonely depressed ass. (especially when all I really needed was to talk about the new star rail stuff to distract me but I don't think they've finished it yet so I don't want to spoil) they live together so they always have to socialize and probably make each other tired without needing to add me to it.

so i've also been trying to reach out to new people, like joining twitch chats again for the first time in years. but that never goes well and doesn't satisfy my social needs. too many people talking at once and being the new person no one cares about and all....getting to know a new is very exhausting. but it's so hard to just be able to skip all that getting to know each other stuff jump straight into talking about a thing we both like (in this case it's star rail and cosplay and maybe art) I don't have enough already-known people to reach out to and i'm too tired to do the small talk dance until it's appropriate to jump into special interest territory. being autistic is so exhausting. I with to be one of those rare autistics I sometimes hear about that have 0 interest in social interaction at all

so as you can see, i'm trying. so hard. to the point I'm exhausting myself. it's been too much work for no payoff and makes things feel worse when the outcome isn't what I need and its constant reaching with no one grabbing my hand back. so I keep making annoying tumblr posts about it. i'm so sorry to anyone that reads my nonsense 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 this is a normal thing with me but it's usually kept to my other blog that's reserved for more serious posts like this but I tried posting here as a way to "reach out" and see if it invites any friendly friends or something but I don't think i'm doing it right...

(but I am going to a con tomorrow with someone I haven't talked to in like 2 years. but we don't have anything in common anymore so theres not much to talk about. he's the only person who responded to me after trying to reach out for like a month but I fear it will only exhaust me being around too many people and not help this gross need to have a deeper connecting socialization D:)

#i dont know how to ask for attention without asking for attention because attention seeking is bad and annoying #the more needy and annoying you come off the more people will ignore you. saying i need someone to talk to or hang out with gets me ignored #but being vague gets me also ignored???? like just trying to start a convo by throwing things out randomly doesnt work either #so if i cant be direct or indirect or invite people or ask to be invited or anything else ive tried ehst do i do? #how do i satisfy this stupid social need im cursed with? it takes me a month or 3 to recover from socializing so its not like i always ask #but its still too much. and “you need to find the right people” isnt helpful. because how!!! ive been looking for that for 30 years lmao #i just need someone to invite me and always invite me every time and always reach out first every time (well not every time. just dont make #me be the one every time because thats how it usually seems to go) #but no one wants to do the work and tell me when its ok to bother them. if i bother someone too many times in a row and get no response #then i will stop and wait. and wait. and wait. and give up eventually. or after certain amount of rejections i give up. #so that i dont come off as needy and attention seeking and obnoxious. if people want me they can come to me. and when no one does #that just feels bad. i hate that it feels bad. i wish to make that stop. i wish to turn off feelings. #i cannot figure out the line between bothering someone too much or just enough. how much am i required to push people #and how much is too much where i snap the line while trying to reel them in? because ive snapped more times than ive caught #or the bait just gets completely ignored and i get bored of waiting #oops im slipping into metaphor territory now. that means its time to stop saying words. #hopefully no one reads my annoying tags. i just needed a free space to ramble and vent amd tags are lile little whispers to do that in #but also it is autism acceptance month. people should be adopting a local autistic(me) person to show them what having friends is like #lee rants #im being super particular about how i need to socialize right now as well. dont want trauma bonding/life talks/depression sharing type stuff #only want special interest light hearted goofy fun talks. but those are so hard to do. its easy for people to default into doom conversation #but its hard to keep them on my topic of interest and to stay positive 😭