#it came out more or less how i wanted?

[anna-scribbles]

regained my 12 year old swag(read an entire new percy jackson book in one sitting)

#CHALICE OF THE GODS WAS SO GOOD #AUAUUGHHHUHGHHHGHHHSH #i was laughing out loud every few minutes for like 5 hours straight #this was a book of BITS #(spoilers in tags from here on out) #i keep thinking abt percy’s river rage tantrum and how he came out of it to annabeth saying ‘yeah he’s scary sometimes when he gets worked #up. do you want more tea?’ #COMEDY #the entire bit with him hiding under the pastry cart. the thing about annabeth having a secret fanclub and percy’s not even phased. #THE HIMBO JUICE THING. RICK RIORDAN WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME THERES A HOOTERS BUT FOR MEN AND SMOOTHIES #annabeth apparently specifically won’t bake clue cupcakes. and this is happening less than 2 years after the famous sixteenth birthday blue #cupcake that she and tyson made for him. the one that looked like a blue brick that they are with their hands. #<— not inconsistency. comedy. #percy’s whole thing with playing with the snakes with the rainbow as he’s fully prepared to be eaten😭😭😭😭😭he is SO unserious #the entire mt olympus scene where he keeps getting distracted from what he’s doing bc he can’t stop roasting zues in his head???? #PERCY I LOVE YOU #ugh i forgot how much i adore percy pov. #pov of not knowing what’s going on ever. pov of being distracted every 10 seconds. he’s literally so real #i thought eudora was hilarious #the whole concept that percy has to do this at all. i think it’s so funny #ppl who are mad that the premise of the quests is stupid. like yeah. percy jackson has a stupid life. #when annabeth broke through his window at 4am to sit on his bed and talk about rocks and trees. everything #percy not knowing the names of anyone at his school or on his swim team #when the god showed up at his cafeteria and percy just ate his lasagna sandwich before talking to him😭😭😭😭that child is TIRED #i loved the light graffiti in the tunnel. when percy wrote their initials i SCREAMED #WHEN. WHEN HE ASCENDED AND TURNED INTO RAINBOW LIGHT WITH THE POWER OF WANTING TO TELL ANNABETH HE LOVED HER. #I DIED. #THE POWER OF LOVE ALWAYS SO STRONG‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ #AUGH i am weak #pjo

[purple8cat]

I THOUGHT THIS PART FROM VNC CHAPTER 62 LOOKED FAMILIAR

i mean they're not. the exact same but they are very similar to each other!!

Also this could just be me but I feel like that these two have a lot of parallels. Break's family are the Rainsworths, who are not his biological family. Johann's family is Dante and Riche, who also not his biological family.

When someone they care about dies/gets threaten their first instinct is murder. When the Sinclairs died Break killed 116 people to bring them back, and when he thought Reim had been permanently dead he killed Fang. When Vanitas had threaten to kill Dante, Johann told him that he'll kill him if he meddles with his family.

Another thing they have in common is that there both, how do I put this, angry in some way/some point in their life? Break had been bitter and depress after returning from the Abyss but then learned to smile again because of Shelly. Johann... Okay, I can't say much about Johann because not much has been revealed about him yet BUT he definitely is sketchy!! With how the Dhampirs are treated it wouldn't be far off to say he would be angry at the world/society. He also has been shown to not like Noé much. Johann has also been shown to be very protective of Dante and Riche, so it's possible that he could've been similar to how Break had acted in the past, and now has something to live for and would do ANYTHING to protect it.

Another thing I'm just now realizing and probably should've brought up first but they have similar vibes/atmospheres. Though Johann is more flirtatious and Break is more... Weird. I guess. Eccentric, if you want a fancy word. They're also have this whole... How do I explain it? They're good at observing/analyzing things is I guess the best way to explain it?

I think I'm gonna stop there, there was something else I kind of wanted to talk about but I think it was a little bit of a stench fkdjgfjdf. I could be wrong about some of these, I didn't mean to write this much so basically all of it I wrote on a whim. Whatever my brain thought of I wrote down which resulted in this (which reading over it might be noticeable considering this post is kinda a mess kgjkfjgjfj). There's also the fact that some of the Johann stuff was just speculation, which could 100% be wrong. But I do think some of it I'm right about!!

#the mochijun brain left me for a month but then came straight back #love how i originally just wanted to point out that those panels looked similar and ended up writing a essay #ok a essay is a exaggeration BUT STILL #listen these two specifically have just flooded my mind recently #anytime i make a post i worry that someone else made one just like it especially since i don't constantly interact with one specific fandom #so hopefully no else has made something to similar kdfkjfjg. or at least just went into less or more detail than i did #anyways actually tags now #pandora hearts #the case study of vanitas #vanitas no carte #vnc #xerxes break #vnc johann #bro its 1:30 in the morning i need to go to sleep kdfsjfljf #purple8cat

[prommytheus]

grown-up sebastian debeste :]

#my art #sebastian debeste #this is my favorite drawing of him i’ve done yet tbh. hes so joyous and confident!! #im not a sebastian expert (yet…) so i dont have any real takes on how i think he’d turn out. but I THINK HE SHOULD TEACH AT THEMIS #like. he was the way that he was because of poor nurture and a lack of good role models willing to be honest with him- until justine & miles #he came into his own and his own autonomy and confidence because of teachers that believed in him and trusted him to take it #and i think he’d want to be that for someone #also i think he should still be a little overconfident but more as an intentional bit than as a result of ignorance #less ‘idiot who thinks hes hot shit’ more ‘orchestra/theatre teacher having the time of his life’ #ALSO I GOT BORED OF ONLY EVER DRAWING HIM IN RED AND BLUE SKDKLSJD #green and yellow suit him ^_^ both bc of symbolism with miles and his dad & bc then he’ll compliment kay’s color scheme

[ishiitake]

Don’t get upset Harvey, it just makes you cuter.

#sdv harvey #harvey x farmer #sdv farmer #stardoodles #harvey x shine #it gets so busy during fall/winter that Harvey forgets how apeshit Shine will get as it starts to warm up #her name is SHINE Harvey she's not just ur lil wife sometimes she's ur lil creature #harvey's ball of sun his pocket full lol #ok the colors are warmer on my desktop but cooler on my tablet #which works more for Shine's tones than Harv's so I need to find a way to balance that better #sorry for the sparkly shojou looking panel I keep telling yall about my too much gene #I told myself to remember less is more and was like... this is less #this came out fine. I just wanted to turn my brain off and draw #ishiart #the colors look best on mobile omg

[difty-dift]

Hide and seek~

Inktober Day 4

#art #my art #inktober #wanted to be speedy with this one and I'm real satisfied how it came out #could've made the body a bit more spindly and less blobby but I'm still satisfied #and i only had to sketch the lil ghostie! #i also learned an important lesson about line weight lol

[polkadotpatterson]

okeydoke as I have not had much energy for working on stuff lately (but lots of motivation) I'm not gonna do proper NaNo with a wordcount or anything, BUT I am gonna make it a goal to get some amount of work done on a writing project every day (at least until I go away on the 24th). Main priority blaseball projects are, in no particular order:

Fic about the ending

Abner fic

Simon's Quest

secret fic(s) :)

get the Talkers exchange set up

Aside from that, I've been poking at more non-blaseball stuff, which is a good excuse for me to plug my writing blog @cyndakip! All my fics get posted there, so if you're interested in my writing beyond just blaseball (especially if you like pokemon), I recommend following me there, since I don't post non-blaseball fics here.

#I'm in a weird place rn where the end of blb is coinciding with me finally feeling ready to get back to nuzlockes #and I very much want to keep writing blb fics! it's just complicated by me getting smacked over the head with pokemon motivation #and separate from that I think it's just been hard for me to work on blb fics knowing that it's over #writing the ending fic in particular means confronting that. and I definitely haven't fully processed it yet and idk when I will #I really truly do want to keep writing blb fics for a long time but I worry there will be not much of an audience anymore #and I know that doesn't matter. I'm gonna write what I want and I know some people will still read it. but yknow. it's rough #also my relationship with pokemon and the nuzlocke community has been really fucking complicated these past few years #to the point where I stopped engaging altogether bc it was stressing me out too much and I had lost all confidence in my writing #this happened to be right before I got into blb. which came along at the perfect time and gave me the community & confidence boost I needed #now it kinda feels like we've come full circle. blb has changed me and now I'm ready to go back with a whole new attitude #I just don't want these two things to be mutually exclusive! I want both! but that's easier said than done #especially bc I haven't had enough energy to work on much of either lately! I want to say things are getting better on that front but #it's complicated. you know how it is with human bodies. treacherous things #the thing is I don't want to waste this. I feel ready for pokemon again and god I missed it and I'm gonna ride this wave of motivation #if I had more energy this would be less of a problem. ah well #gonna get all this done sooner or later #talking moistly

[hyperionwitch]

Trucking along with Melina! Underskirt is done, dress is almost done (needs some adjustment + hooks/eyes in a couple places), and the coat is in progress, though the 7-ish feet of embroidered trim is probably gonna hold me up for a bit. Plus @tasty-patches made/dyed me a belt blank, so that's ready for detailing soon. Honestly this one's going really fast!

#cosplay shenanigans #elden ring #melina #enough progress that i feel less awkward about adding the tags lol #really happy with how the dye came out #the dress is slightly more warm than I wanted #but in certain lighting it definitely tends more desat #and the lighting on melina is always inconsistent and weird so that works for me lol #oh i guess i have the boots too but i just bought them lol

[axolotluv]

What's with art communities and forgetting people can just do things for fun and not be professional about it??

#ax speaks #advice is ALWAYS catered to “how to survive as a professional artist” #like yeah cool this is all great but I just wanted to know how to make my art cool not the rules I need to follow to get hired #good anatomy does not equal good art #good dialogue does not equal good art #encourage creativity divergence and experimentation #shade with black. make big thick messy lines. make your lighting completely nonsensical #make weird uncomfortable dialogue. narrate casually. space out your words strangely for effect. write in the second person #of course all of it can be executed badly that's why professionals tell you to stay away from it #but if you execute it in your own way and make it work you can really push the bounds of being an artist #the question should always be “goes it feel good” rather than “is it correct” when creating something #the next time someone asks you for drawing advice don't tell them to make the lines less shaky or to use more muted colors #tell them exactly what you would do to make their art look sick as hell #or if someone asks for writing advice don't tell them the structure of a story or what words to use #tell them exactly what your favorite parts are to focus on like dialogue or how you came up with the part you had the most fun writing

[samarecharm]

Scheming…

#chattin #taking time to draw and write out a relationship/dynamics chart for the thieves and assorted friends #bc theres. alot. and it would be nice to write it out. it would help establish my thoughts about them #its not poly/thieves but its. kind of adjacent to it. but its less shippy and more focused on how they interact- #-and behave with one another. like theyre kinda bonded together over everything. lines get a little blurred but its what works for them #and i think lumping them all together as poly/thieves is a shortcut for breaking down their character #like obv akira has diff relationships for everyone; but how do THOSE people react to others ?? #like pego/ryu is real and true but also ann is absolutely there. u cannot separate them. #theyre the shujin delinquents to me LOL. they are too tightly bound together to let any external relationship split them at this point #akiras not w goro; its akira AND ryuji w goro. like akira and goro would just not work; but ryuji make its work well yknow? #goro doesnt get third wheeled w ann and vice versa bc ann and goro are good friends; they just hang :) #its like. if u could SEE the fucking string of connections making a mess of my white board in my minds eye…😭 #so im trying to write it down into something that works for me #i dunno. i think its fun :) i did this for ffxv too #only that was way easier bc its just the four of them. but like. how do their internal relationships affect the overall polycule ? #anyway. inspired by that love post; that theres diff kinds of love. and kiss ryuji week LOL #bc i wanted to write a small thing with different thieves for each prompt #and im like how would their relationships differ from one another ? #ryuji and akira but also ryuji with makoto. ryuji w haru. ryuji w yusuke. its like. #u cant use the same thing from most pego/ryu fics bc they DIDNT meet the same way #waugh. #rambling #just know that im insane. i have all these wips and nothing FINISHED. waaa. #this is what that post meant about being obsessed over bad media LMAO. this is just what happens #u stay up thinking about fake polycules from a game that came out seven years ago #i think…. #WHAT. 2016??? #EIGHT years ??? #funny bc i was thinking about how ffxv was eight yesrs old and i am still a mess over it #well. could u imagine if i played p5 when it LAUNCHED instead of in 2020???

[holyviolence]

omg i spent the whole day cleaning my entire apartment because my family was coming to visit and 1) so so so happy my adhd is being medicated now it's literally changing my life and 2) i FINALLLY got through to my dad about how he probably has ADHD too!!!!! he finally said Yeah i think i might have adhd. and my mom was like Me too (we've had this talk privately before, she knows she has adhd too lol) And my brother is literally transferring to a different school because he can't concentrate and isn't disciplined at his current uni. adhd family.

#literally thank goodness my brother was here to like Perfectly describe in real time what happens to adhd people when they go to college for #the first time. there's less structure and you fall apart. i used that as an opportunity. #i've slowly slowly slowly been chipping away at my Entire family btw. i've finally convinced my dad that medication is a GOOD THING. #i said You know. there's a lot in life that you feel like you Have to live with. but being on meds has made life so much easier and happier. #and that's when my dad finally said it. #:^) sometimes i like..... think about my family and how complicated i feel because growing up was super tough with all of them but now they #are all better people..... and i can't help but feel proud because as much as it is ABSOLUTELY great job for THEM for getting there But i #also feel uhhh partly responsible because i was constantly calling them out for shit. not always in the best way #but always standing up for others and challenging them on their worldviews and just casually talking about more liberal (as in free. not #politically) things. yes i do feel like if it wasn't for me my family would be worse people #i KNOW one of my brothers would be because he literally told me so. and it makes me happy. it is proof that my life is worthy and i have a #good impact on the world. it doesn't have to be a big thing i do to change things..... because i believe in the Ripple Effect #my dad is a teacher and he uses the proper pronouns for his trans students without complaint now. that has a good impact on SO many people #the trans students and their classmates who hear their teacher respect them. my brother is no longer homophobic he's bi lol and #if i hadn't argued with him about what bisexuality meant bc he was Wrong when i was 18 and he was 16... i wonder.... #my younger sister is one of the nicest kids i've ever met and i partly raised her. it feels great to see her be such a good kid #her best friend is a trans girl and when she first came out my sister was one of two people in their class who still wanted to be #her friend. #idk. just inspires me to keep being the best person i can be & always do what's right even if it makes people mad #bc no one can hurt me as much as my family has traumatized me (lol) and look what happened to them!! i didn't give up! and i see real change

[camptw1nk]

.

#not 2 be like. negative but i just kinda got hit hard by the way my relationship w my best friend has changed #dont get me wrong i understand that her girlfriend will be super important to her esp bc she lives across the world and is only physically #here for another 2 or so weeks #but my best friend just got back from a trip to another city to see an artist she loves and as she came in i got up to go see her and ask hl #how it was but she was in her room w her gf before i could and thats fine i get it and like she hasnt done anything wrong i can not #emphasize that enough like i hold no bitter feelings to her she is excited to talk to her gf understandably #it just hit me that like. oh yeah. i have no one else that i go to about literally anything but she does #and its less ab her so much as its. its just hitting me that i dont really have? friends? #i have one or two people but like. i only have One Person thats my go to fave person always tell them everything #and i just. I've realized that its not reciprocated the way it used to be #and that i think is just like a part of growing up #i dont have a partner i dont have someone my life is intrinsically linked to #like a best friend is great but its not. relationships are placed to a higher level you know like its jusy more important #and i just. ive nevr Had a partner really. unless u count a like 2 month thing when i was 12 which i dont count #not to be depresso but i am just not the kind of person that people want or desire #and thats been the case long before i came out as trans but its extra complicated now since i dont. Fully pass #idk not 2 sound sad i just wanna be loved #and i think theres only so many times i can hear the most important person in my life come home and talk excitedly ab things thru the walls #and then never actually get told anything myself. not just ab things shes excited for but just in general #we were meant to go to a house viewing together a few days ago and it was only half an hour before it was happening when no one else was #home that i messaged them to check in and they were like oh yeah we're not going we have this and this going on #which like. fine whatever but i dont drive and getting anywhere fast is hard so it just. was stressful #but it just seems like i am constantly out of the loop. everyone i live with is in a relationship w each other and i am just here #in every aspect of my life i am Just There and im tired of it #not to sound desperate or needy but i just would like to. be noticed? or feel prioritized? or even wanted #idk this is. i just needed to rant i think im emotional bc my hormones r a bit wack #im due for my testosterone shot in a few days but i dont have the money or time to go to the doctors lately so its being pushed back #a few weeks and its just. i think its messing w me a bit #i mean i feel this way literally all the time but just the like. the being upset and emotional and posting ab it i think is bc of that #idk i needed to get it out idk it this will stay up or not

[theygender]

Mine and my girlfriend's special interests are so funny to me bc I'm just like "hi I'm autistic and my special interest is dinosaurs uwu" and then you ask what her special interests are and it's like

The wreck of the Titanic

The Russian Revolution

The assassination of JFK

Unsolved murder cases from the 1800s

Stage magic

#my special interest is way more than just dinosaurs im oversimplifying ahdjska #dinosaurs are actually one of the least interesting parts of deep time to me #but theyre easier for me to talk about bc its the part everyone is already familiar with #my FAVORITE part of deep time is the animals that came before the dinosaurs #ESPECIALLY all the funky little dudes in the cambrian period #but also the beginning of life itself and all the animals that preceded and evolved into the classifications we know today #(the first vertebrates! the first land animals! the ancestors to amphibians and reptiles and mammals and dinosaurs!) #and also the things that came after them? like megafauna are really cool #and i love learning about the evolution of human ancestors too #and maybe even a bit of archaeology instead of paleontology if im feeling spicy (which would be humans less than 10000 years ago) #and theres other cool fields too like paleogeography?? like the study of ancient supercontinents and how they formed?? #anyways im rambling. my point is that i think its funny that i have a somewhat stereotypical special interest with facets that all connect #while she has a lot of seemingly more random ones #a while back i picked up my qpp while i had some of trixies books in my car that she had asked me to return to the library #and as i moved the 6-7 books about the russian revolution out of my passenger seat i was just like #well. you probably can tell which special interest trixie is hyperfixating on right now 😂 #other times she'll check out a bunch of jfk books or titanic books or magic books at once and go through them like crazy #and shes done a lot of personal research into different unsolved murder cases from the 1800s. even wanted to write a book at one point #i know im poking fun here but my gf is one of the coolest people in the world and has really cool special interests #it is my honor and privilege to listen to a goth girl infodump about historical murders and tragic accidents and magic o7 #rambling

[spideygal]

Thinking about the disturbing implications of Cain's story and destiny from the Bible rn

#cw religion #no because like. cain didn't come out of the womb throwing rocks; how did he even think that it was healthy to stone his brother? it leads #me to believe that potentially; he either saw the angel war going on in the sky and thought that those who stayed in heaven and were treated #well; even with the violence that happened (from what he had seen and potentially heard); were. well how to say it. their actions were #normal. god created everything; and can think anything as normal. or he saw his parents fighting. i refuse to believe that adam and eve were #one of those healthy couples; even after the biting of the apple and getting kicked out of the garden of eden. i fear that cain and abel saw #the two fighting; potentially even going as far as to threaten each other with stones; and when the two excused it; the kids thought of it #as normal. keep in mind: violence is not born out of nowhere unless you're god; violence is taught; seen; heard of. it didn't make it any #better that there seemed to be no other people outside of the family yet that could tell them that that behaviour was wrong. so imagine #cain's shock upon seeing his brother not breathing. the shock that he murdered him. the shock that the threats that his parents did to each #other or that the angel war happening; were not normal. his brother was dead now. of course he had to lie when god came by. he quite surely #felt panicked to the point that he accidentally made a comeback to god. how could he not? he was a kid. they both were. and he felt regret. #he felt remorse. he felt anger to himself. and yet; god punished him. cain thought it was fair; because he killed his brother. but after a #while; it didn't seem fair. as he grew up; he thought that god telling him that he would be cursed to spend eternity roaming around the #earth would only last for until he was in his 30s. mortality rates were quite surely high back then; so he naturally thought that what god #said was metaphorical. because caine felt that way. that his remorse and anger and pain would roam eternally on earth. but after his #partner; and his children; and his grandchildren; and his great-grandchildren died; it didn't seem to be fair anymore. he wanted to die. he #had witnessed and felt everything: the flood; the crossing of the sea; the plagues; the goddamned everything. he still felt pain. he knew #why he was cursed; but he felt like what god did; was just plain cruel. he felt as though purgatory and getting juried out to see if you #were getting sent to hell or to heaven; was much more simplier; and had less pain; than dealing with the fact that you were now just a #walking body. something that used to be a person. something that should've been dead a long time ago. and yet. he was still alive. he just #wanted it to end. he knew what he did was wrong. but he just wanted to go back home. he wanted to start from scratch and be protective of #his brother and run away from god's view. but he couldn't now. he was cursed. he is now just a legend. a myth. a terror tale amongst the #folks in several towns that swear that they had seen him amongst the shadow. he must've been. after all; he looked ghastly enough to have a #tale or two written about him. ...would cain go near jesus? to ask him to please grant him mercy from this thing that he had now become? #or would he frightened? fearing that jesus would be as cruel as his god? obviously caine would be worried. jesus is supposed to be god's #child after all... i don't know it's just he reminds me of twilight sparkle and i just had to write this down- #cw corpse #spideygal #spideygal oc

[frankenfossil]

for the space related asks, ⭐️ & 🛰?

whee!! thank you!

⭐️ Star - Do you have a favourite character? If so, why are they your favourite?

Oh no a very hard question actually... Probably the answer is evidently Emily and Dee since I spend more time thinking and writing about them than any of my other characters. POSSIBLY if I had to choose out of the two of them I'd pick Dee because I am kind of a sucker for a sad sack loser with emotional problems and I deeply enjoy thinking up situations to make him happy and/or traumatised. I also enjoy overthinking his powers and what kinds of things I have to tweak about physics for him to exist with the functions I've given him. (Such as recently I've thought of new objections to the plausibility of time travel but I think I've also thought of a way to resolve them storywise which I personally think is very funny, but if I learn more about physics before it comes up it might change.)

I love Zoe a lot but she is much harder to write and to draw for some reason? I feel like she is clear in my head but never comes out right somehow. It's weird.

I have other characters from other stories that I love too... another favourite who is unrelated to this story is a guardian angel whose first guardee died prior to the story beginning; clearly the angel fucked up a bit with that but gets a second chance, but then is pretty lousy with the second person too!! Trying to push them to fill the shoes of the first person.

Recently I found out that the person who inspired my first 'canon nonbinary' character (I didn't know that was a thing at the time tho) has since come out as for real nonbinary, which obviously makes a lot of sense lol. It was mostly about this one very cool jacket they owned. But that character was a strong fave for a long time... the story was terrible and really problematic lolol but ah well. Probably all the good parts of that character have gone into Dee and Zoe anyway.

I LOVE THEM ALL ;_;

🛰 Satellite - Do you have a character who is very dependent on another character? Is it healthy or unhealthy?

WELL. Again... Emily and Dee are each other's most emotionally intimate relatinship... Dee again is more dependant on Emily than vice versa, and less healthy about it, although I would say it's overall good for them both (but I would say the healthy/unhealthy balance varies over time and may be affected by external factors...).

Zoe is still on the periphery a bit but.............. well there are/will be some dynamics of questionable health there. She doesn't have particularly healthy attachments and is still not exactly over her previous friendship dynamic of being the second best friend of two besties who were shitty to her, and is still kind of stuck in the mode of 'trying to be exactly what the other person wants so they will like me'. Which Emily is not really aware of because she doesn't ever do that. Although the kinds of things Zoe plays up to try to be friends with her probably aren't as bad as what she has done to get OTHER people to like her, and she's relatively confident that Emily isn't going to use any of the stuff she knows against her.

Again, in terms of OTHER characters I have a couple where they are both disabled in various ways but one has more problems with mobility and communication than the other, and also had to be rescued from a kind of slavery by the other, which naturally gives the rescuer some pause for thought about the power dynamic there and whether she's ~taking advantage~ by falling in love with her at the same time (I mean by the time she even gets aware enough of her feelings lolol, gotta sort of pine without realising first!!)... but I'm trying to write that one as pretty healthy tbh, they're just trying to support each other through a difficult world yknow. And anyway the one who used to be a slave deliberately tried to square that debt immediately so it wouldn't be hanging over them both and is now mostly consumed with a quest for revenge lol. But also love.

I am going to.... stop rambling for now lol!!

#ask games #tysm for sending me some!! #sorry for late reply i tried answering on mobile desktop but either tumblr or my phone doesnt work very well #or a team effort to make me unable to type #so had to wait for laptop time #fun fact i looked up codependent because i always thought i knew what it meant but suddenly was like 'what if i've been using it wrong' #and SURE ENOUGH the definitions that came up did uhh... not align with how i thought it was used!!!! #i don't know if people want to hear about my other stories; gappy plotted and unfinished beasts that they are #anything i write outside of a given story text is subject to change #also tbh my 'word of god' doesn't even really count... this is like. my reading of the dynamics and what i'm more or less aiming for but #i'm super interested in how other people read it #they all live in my head full time i don't always have the clearest perspective #like when people were like 'that was a huge dick move for dee to not tell emily that markus liked her' #rly interesting to find out what other people make of their goings on!

[revanchistsuperstar]

Oh lol I just realized something that I just never explicitly mentioned here after taking a hiatus from tumblr and then just coming back like nothing happened:

When I was running this blog back in the day and it was an SPN blog (yeah I know) that slowly shifted into a Star Wars blog, and I was vaguely popular cosplayer, I was pretty well known for the fact that identified as genderqueer and bisexual.

Yeah I went back on my adhd medication and actually was able to focus on the triggers for my dysphoria and what I was feeling for the first time in 10 years and realized I’m a gay man whoops

#concerta done transed my gender #but honestly seriously I came out to my Facebook friends yesterday but it’s something I’ve been feeling for a while now #there’s a whole essay I could write about how I came to this conclusion #that basically I was dating people who were attracted to women and who treated me like a woman sexually #and I get really bad dysphoria from being treated sexually as a woman when I’m presenting more masculine #so basically I’ve been cosplaying as a hot femme AFAB enby for the last 12 years #and not medically transitioning because I was subconsciously afraid of it making me unattractive as a femme #but I have finally come to the conclusion of fuck that I’m a man #who cares if going on t makes me less hot as a girl I’m not a girl I just do drag #starting HRT in December and I’m so excited #I do eventually want top surgery but I honestly don’t have much dysphoria around my chest so I’m fine with waiting till the fat redistributa #redistributes whoops #and I gain some muscle from working out and whatnot #my dysphoria is much more around my hips and my height #also yeah I do still vaguely identify with bisexuality I do sometimes find women hot #but yeah I’ve always been more into men and I’ve always been open about that #ya boy is 29 years old and I’m finally figuring this shit out #lol also love that for the longest time I’m was like ‘I can’t be a man! I’m so feminine! #……..like y’all it never crossed my mind I just might be a fucking faggot 🤣🤣🤣 #but hi yeah I’m Jensen and I’m a fruit. he/they please! #concerta transed my gender #adding that tag for my blog sorting transition tracking purposes

[vicsera]

how the fuck do i be a woman. video tutorials appreciated

#gender #i’m glad i came out so early bc it meant i was in as many ppl’s faces as possible w it but #now that i’m entering adulthood and entering an era that is WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY more feminine than i have been or have let myself be in the #past. i don’t fucking know how to be a girl. i was born as one but idk how to be one #and i understand ‘not wearing makeup doesn’t make you less of a woman’ and #‘you define your femininity’ and ‘you don’t have to xyz to be a lady’ #but a lot of what i define as femininty in myself is classical ‘this is for GIRLS!!!!’ things #i want to do makeup and dress pretty and do my nails and have long hair and long eyelashes and a soft voice #but idk how to do a lot of that and atp i’m way to embarrassed to ask #i’m 21 almost 22 and (FOR ME PERSONALLY THIS APPLIES TO ME ONLY NO ONE ELSE) #i wish i had figured out how to be my birth gender before hopping to a different one. idk #anyways #sera speaks