#dont get me wrong i understand that her girlfriend will be super important to her esp bc she lives across the world and is only physically | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

absolutelyhugh3s · 8 months

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michigan maize | ee73

ethan edwards x reader!

more loosely based song fics!! this one is tennessee orange by megan moroney

thank you guys so so much for all the love and support on forever and ever!!! y’all seriously don’t understand how much it means to me!! i love every single one of you <33

word count: 1.13k (not my gif!)

“hi munchkin! how are you doing?” my mothers honey-like voice filled my ears as she answered my call.

oh god, i'm really doing this.

“hi mama” i smiled even though she couldn’t see me “im good”

“i've got some news” i said nervously, clenching the comforter of my bed in my fist.

“oh honey is everything alright?” her slight chicago accent peaking through.

“dont worry im doing okay, just please dont tell dad?” i pleaded with my mother.

“y/n did something happen?” she asked worriedly.

“yes mama. he’ll blow a fuse if he found out” my father wasn’t big on me going to the umich. being the coach of msu hockey, he wanted me to go there.

but when i received an amazing scholarship to play lacrosse, i had to take it.

the first thing he told me when i left for school was “don't run off with any of those hockey boys y/n, they are very bad news.”

well, he’s clearly never met ethan.

“i know you raised me to know right from wrong, but god he makes it so hard” i chuckle “he?” my mother questions.

“i met somebody mama, hes brunette, and he's got these big brown eyes, and he opens the door for me everywhere i go!”

ethan and y/n go on small date’s every wednesday night. its an awkward time for some, but for them, its the only time in their busy schedules that they can be together.

today, their date night was dressing up super fancy (as barbie and ken of course) seeing the barbie movie, and eating at a small diner a few blocks from the movie theater.

ethan had planned out the entire thing and the couple had a blast. once ethan had driven her back to her on campus apartment, she thanked the older boy, kissed him goodbye and began to exit the car.

“WAIT” ethan yelled. he jumped up out of the drivers seat, exiting the car and running around to open his girlfriend’s car door. “ok now you can go” he smiled

the small action made the girl melt like a snowman in summer. the defenseman than sprinted to the main door of her apartment complex, opening that for her as well.

“m’lady” he held out a hand as y/n walked through the door a blushing mess. he than took her hand in his, interlocking their fingers, leading her up to her apartment.

though the action was so little, it made her fall in love with him more and more every day.

“he just makes me so happy! hes like perfectly perfect! god! i've never felt this way mama!” i ramble.

“hun” my mother chuckles. “whats his name?” i then realize i left out the most important part “ethan! ethan edwards! mama you would love him” i smiled.

“but back home id be sinning” the smile fades slightly from my face. “why is that dear?” it seems as though she could hear what was going though my mind.

“mama, hes got me wearing maize and blue for him” i sarcastically laughed.

“you should come to my game tomorrow” ethan said, running his hands through the ends of the y/h/c girls hair.

“the boys would love to see you, plus i get to have my own little good luck charm in the stands” the boy smiled like a small child at the girl laying on his chest.

“really?” she looked up at the brown haired boy with big doe eyes. “yes really” he grinned.

“here” he moved the smaller girl off of his chest to stand up from his bed.

he rummages through his closet, looking for a specific item of clothing.

suddenly a large yellow piece of fabric is thrown at her “you can even wear my jersey” he smiles.

the girl holds it up a large ‘edwards 73’ stares at her. “you know what e? i think i will”

“oh hes an athlete?” my mom says, surprised.

“yeah hekindasortamaybeplayshockey” i rush out, nervous of what my mother would say.

“im gonna need you to slow down y/n/n” she chuckles

“he plays hockey mama. he had me wearing his jersey at a msu game! of course i want the spartans to win but still! his smile! oh his smile! it makes me forget i look better in green!” i gush about my boyfriend.

“so thats why you didnt want your father to know” my mom teases, clearly finding enjoyment in this entire situation.

“oh please forgive me mama, i like him a lot” i beg “oh i think its a lot more than like sweetheart” my mom says. “what?”

“oh honey you are head over heels for ethan” she laughs “i've known for ten minutes and i can tell”

“oh god im in love with a wolverine!” i exclaim.

“babygirl its ok! the worlds not gonna end! growing up in chicago i said i would never date a red wings fan, guess what? i married one!” she laughs.

“so you’re not mad?” i asked hesitantly.

“of course not y/n! its my job as your mother to always be supportive of you” i could tell she was smiling though the phone.

i talked with my mother for a while longer about random stuff for about another half hour. “mama i have to go, ethan should be here in a few minutes” i say.

“alright sweetie, invite him home would ya?” my mother asks. “of course mama, i love you” “i love you too sweet girl, bye bye”

i clean things up for about ten minutes when i hear a knock at my apartment door.

“you can come in e!” i shout. “ok!” he shouts back before walking in.

i put the last few dishes in the cabinet when i feel two muscular arms snake around my waist and a face bury into the crook of my neck.

“hi baby” he mumbles, tightening his hold on my waist.

“hi e” i giggled. “guess what i did today” i added.

“hmm climbed mount everest?” “nope” “slayed a dragon?” “nope” “killed someone?” “god no!”

“i told my mom about us” i smiled. ethans parents have known for a few weeks now about us, but he didnt wanna push me to tell mine. he wanted me to be comfortable with doing it myself.

ethan spins me around, his hands steading my hips. “you did?” he smiles.

“i did” i mirror his smile. the much larger boy then pulls me into the tightest hug possible.

“im so proud of you baby” he says, kissing the crown of my head.

“i have a question though” i place my chin on his sternum so im looking up at ethan. “whats up love?”

“what are you doing for spring break?”

#ethan edwards x reader #umich imagine #ethan edwards #ethan edwards imagine #ethan edwards x y/n #umich hockey

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will80sbyers · 1 year

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I think one of the misconceptions most of the fandom has is that mike feels he is not needed in general or that he is powerless. but from the way the show portrayed this situation, the writers made mike's insecurity tied to his relationship with el specifically. mike isnt feeling like a useless nerd in general. he is feeling that way because of his relationship with el, because they are not compitable.

if mike and el were to break up mike wouldnt feel that way in general because this specific insecurity is tied to his relationship with el. mike normally likes to be goofy and a nerd and he was and still is, when el isnt around. its not something he feels constantly but it is something he feels because of his relationship with el and because of their incompitability.

i am not saying this to bash el, dont get me wrong. i am saying this to point out it was an intentional writing choice done by the writers to tie mike being insecure to specifically his relationship to el to show that they are not compitable. so, when they break up, mike wont feel like some random nerd anymore because he and el wont be in a relationship where both of them feel insecure.

Yes! I think the main problem is his relationship with El, but I don't think the problem started because of his relationship, I think it's the bullying at school that made him start feeling that way about himself, and then he started to apply that feeling to his relationship with El... when he is with his other friends he feels more like himself, and he doesn't care much about what other people think now that he's grown up, (he still cares in general a bit because everybody does, but he is very insecure only with El...) he can get over it by being with the people like Eddie, Will etc that help him feel more secure... so I don't think that Mike has heavy depression, I don't think he's portrayed that way in the show, but I do think he has a lot of trauma and that he is really confused about feelings and most of all about how other people feel towards him... I think Mike started to feel like thanks to El he had a purpose, he could help her and save Will and be important, Mike always wished he was like the heroes in the stories he loved, so when he found El that did change his life, and the fact that El liked him back seemed almost impossible to him because she was so amazing and so special, and he felt like he was just a random kid, he didn't feel special, but he also is not heavily depressed about that, it's just a fact to him!

He was scared of losing El though, so he started to change himself in season 3 trying to let go of things that he thought El would consider childish, because he liked her and wanted her to keep liking him... but the thing is that you can't really be in love with someone, and they can't really be in love with you, if you are pretending to be someone else when you are together.

That's loving the idealized version of that person, not the person!

So this mask of heteronormativity that he put on where he plays the role of the boyfriend and El has the role of ''girlfriend'' is what is stopping them from really be in love... I also feel like the writers wrote this on purpose to show how Mike and El are not the right person for each other, even liking each other and having love for each other, they can't be themselves when they are in a relationship, that's their dynamic and that's why they have to break up.... and at that point they can become friends again and be themselves like they were in season 1 and Mike can start really seeing Will, understanding that loving Will is super easy because he could always be completely himself with him and Will makes him feel like he's special and important since the start! Byler endgame was always the solution!!!

#mike wheeler #will byers #byler #bi mike wheeler #unlabeled mike wheeler #ask

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jamesbuchananxsteviegrant · 3 years

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I Pick the TV Show, Rogers Shuts His Cake-Hole | Bucky x Steve x Reader (Angst, Fluff)

Category: Angst, Fluff (Suggested) Age: 14+ Trigger Warnings: none, other than the standard explicit language Ship: Bucky x Steve x Reader Summary: Steve Snaps At Reader When He’s Stressed, Resulting In Her Being Very Upset Request: "can u write where steve/bucky is overwhelmed with something and when reader asks to help or is telling them to relax they snap at reader and reader is hurt which makes them feel really bad afterwards. thank you sm. i love ur writings. and this is anon right? is it alright if u dont post my response if its not anon? im sorry. thank you so much. ur blog always pictures great stucky imagines. 💗💗💗" Contains Spoilers for: N/A Word Count: 2,488

---

A given, the super-soldier had been on nonstop missions for the last month or so, but she thought she was helping him feel better, not making him feel worse.

“Would you like anything to eat, Stevie? You’ve barely moved all day.” (Y/N)’s voice is small. Quiet.

She’s leaning through the door of his study where he’s sat putting together his mission reports from the last three or four missions he’s been out on.

He shakes his head but doesn’t even turn to look at her.

Sighing, the woman walks further into the room where her boyfriend is slouched over the desk.

“You gotta take a break, Stevie.” She whispers, resting her hands on his shoulders.

She notices the way they tense up, but he still remains silent.

His fingers continue to write up his report on the laptop.

“I’m worried about you, Stevie; talk to me.”

“I’m busy, (Y/N).”

“I know you are, baby, but you’ve gotta look after yourself too.” She attempts, leaning down to press a kiss to his cheek. He pulls away.

The woman furrows her brows.

“Steve, please, you’ve got to-”

“(Y/N), just stop!”

The shout is sudden and it makes her flinch back away from the man as he turns to face her.

“I’m fine, alright?! I don’t need you babying me all the time!”

She doesn’t respond for a second, surprised at her lover’s outburst.

He says nothing more, simply turns back to the laptop and continues typing away.

“Steve, look how stressed you are. Can you please just-”

“STOP! Okay?! Just stop! Leave me the fuck alone while I finish these neverending mission reports. For once in your life can you just understand that not everything is about you?!”

(Y/N) swears that being shot in the heart wouldn’t hurt half as much as the words that just came out of the man’s mouth.

Her mouth opens and closes as if searching for the right words to say, but that hurt.

Is she really that bad? Is that the truth behind all of this? That she’s clingy? Thinks everything is about her? That was never her intention. (Y/N) is well aware of how important being an Avenger is. Hell, she is an Avenger, for Christ’s sakes.

She says nothing more and leaves the room.

She can’t even decide if she feels sad. No. She’s not sad, she’s not angry, she’s not… anything.

Numb.

Naturally, her feet lead her to their room. Steve’s room. They all basically share the super soldier’s abode since they all got together, but right now she doesn’t dare open the door.

Doing a full one-eighty spin, (Y/N) takes herself back to a place she barely touches anymore. Her room.

It’s pretty empty. Most of her clothes are in Steve’s room, in her own walk-in wardrobe. Her bed is perfectly made from the last time she slept in here - maybe a year ago?

The woman walks around her bed and straight onto her bedroom balcony, overlooking the lake at the back of the compound, and stays there. For three-hours. Until Bucky comes looking for her.

He came home from his mission about thirty-minutes ago only to find their shared room of Steve’s empty. He searched just about everywhere, completely clueless.

“FRIDAY, where’s (Y/N) and Steve?” He finally gives in.

“Captain Rogers is in study five, and Agent (L/N) is in her private quarters.”

Now that makes the brunet furrow his brows.

Why would (Y/N) be in her room and not his or Steve’s?

He prioritises finding (Y/N) first, knowing Steve will be writing up mission reports, no doubt.

Despite them being together for over six-years now, he hesitates when reaching for the handle of her bedroom door. Instead, the man opts to knock.

No answer.

“(Y/N)?” Nothing. “Doll, it’s me; can I come in?” Nothing.

Bucky tries the door handle and finds it unlocked, yet still hesitates.

“Baby?” He calls out. Again, nothing.

He’s cautious now. Scared.

Her room looks as untouched as the last time he saw it, which was a few months back when she was after one of her plushies.

“(Y/N)?”

It’s when he feels the chill of the midnight winds ruffle his hair that he realises her balcony doors aren’t fully closed.

Striding straight over, his eyes widen at the sight of his girlfriend curled up in the corner of the outdoor area, crying.

“(Y/N), baby, hey, what’s wrong?!”

Bucky immediately drops to his knees in front of the woman, reaching for her hands and gently tugging them away from her tear-stained face.

“(Y/N), doll, look at me.” His voice is gentle. Soothing.

She does almost instantly but her sadness stays.

“What happened, baby? Are you hurt?”

The fear and sincerity in his voice is enough to prompt the woman to shake her head. Yes, she’s hurting emotionally, but he needs confirmation that she’s not dying.

The woman immediately sees the relief take over his features, but he’s still concerned.

“What’s wrong, doll?”

Her eyes stray away from his, not wanting to tell him what’s got her so upset.

“Hey, no, look at me, baby,” He whispers, hand lightly grasping at her chin to raise her face back up to his. “What’s got you so worked up, (Y/N)?”

Another shake of her head as she tries to escape her lover’s hold.

“Baby, please, you’re scaring me.”

Her face contorts into something close to heartbreak as she wants nothing more than to reassure the man in front of her.

“It’s okay, Buck.”

“It’s not okay! Doll, I haven’t seen you cry since Stevie nearly died on that mission in Ohio like two-years-ago! Talk to me.”

She takes a deep breath and wipes her face of the shedding tears.

“Do you want me to get Stevie?”

The question is innocent and makes sense, but her eyes widen and she shakes her head desperately.

“No! No, please, no.”

That truly makes the super soldier concerned.

“Doll, please can you tell me what’s happened?”

Never in the last eight-years that Bucky and (Y/N) have known each other has she been so reluctant to see Steve.

Another sob escapes her and it’s breaking his heart.

“Baby, please.”

“Steve got mad at me, alright?!” She manages an attempted shout. “I just wanted him to look after himself.”

“What happened? What did Steve do?”

He’s concerned. Massively.

“I was trying to get him to eat; he hasn’t eaten properly in so long. He’s so overworked and he’s hung up on all these mission reports. He told me that not everything was about me - shouted at me; told me to stop.” She’s whimpering and sniffling again now. “Please get him to eat something, James.”

That last sentence is the one that crushes him. She’s upset, yeah, but above all that, she’s still worried about the blond super soldier.

“Come on, baby, let’s go to our room and get into bed, yeah? I’ll go and speak to Stevie.”

Her eyes meet his and she looks scared, but the ocean blue gaze that he returns makes her bound to his every command.

The woman nods.

“Okay.”

“That’s my girl.”

With the help of the Winter Soldier, (Y/N) manages to stand up, letting him lead her out of her private room and into their shared one of Steve’s.

“Here, let’s get you into your PJs, yeah?”

He doesn’t leave room for negotiation as he helps his girlfriend strip out of her casual dress and into one of his oversized t-shirts.

“You get snuggled up in bed, doll. I’m going to go and get Stevie, okay?”

He hates how she looks nervous at the mention of their other lover’s name.

“He loves you more than words can describe, baby girl, I promise you. He shouldn’t have lashed out at you, I’m gonna talk to him, okay?”

A hesitant nod and forced smile is enough for now.

“I’ll be back shortly, I promise.” He leans over and gives the woman a kiss on the lips, leaving her with one of her favourite shows playing on the TV.

“Bucky,” Her choked up voice calls out just before he leaves.

The man turns from his place in the doorway.

“I love you.”

The smile that takes over his expression is contagious.

“I love you too, baby girl. More than anything.”

Despite his reassurance to the woman, he’s pretty damn pissed for a number of reasons about Steve losing his cool with their girl. Reason number one being, how dare he? Reason number two being, he knows better than to overwork, yet here we are.

Bucky doesn’t even knock once he approaches the glass doors of the study where Steve is sat typing away on the laptop.

The blond doesn’t even glance up to see who entered. He barely heard the door open which enrages Bucky further.

The brunet slams the lid of the laptop shut without saying a word, prompting Steve’s head to shoot up, glaring daggers at whoever has interrupted him.

“What the fuck, James?!”

That makes Bucky really get annoyed.

“Are you serious right now, Rogers?”

“I’m in the middle of about seven different mission reports, Buck, I’ve gotta finish them.” The man sighs, going to open the lid of the PC once more, only for Bucky to hold it down. “James, seriously,”

“No. What you need to do is explain to me why our girlfriend has been crying for the last God-knows how many hours?”

That makes Steve snap back to reality.

“What? (Y/N) has been crying? Is she okay?”

Bucky literally rolls his eyes at that.

“Are you fucking serious, Steve?” He repeats, Steve looking confused, expression contorting as he realises that his boyfriend is seriously angry at him.

“Bucky, what’s wrong? What’s happened?”

The Winter Soldier’s head lolls back as he groans in frustration.

“You seriously have no idea?” He asks, rhetorically, watching Steve look almost scared. “Do you often shout at your girlfriend and forget it happened?”

Cap’s eyes widen at that, and he visibly gulps.

“What?”

“She came in here to make sure you were looking after yourself, which you weren’t, by the way, and you tell her that not everything is about her?! Are you fucking stupid, Steve?!”

He remembers it all too well in that moment, turning his head down to avoid the frustrated glare of his male lover.

“No. No, you don’t get to look away from me. Look at me.” Bucky demands, watching the blond super soldier reluctantly do so. “I come home from my own exhausting mission, search for (Y/N) for thirty-minutes, and find her crying her God-damn heart out on the balcony of HER room; not our room, Steve, no. Her room.”

Steve’s heart shatters and his eyes widen once more.

(Y/N) hates staying in her room. She’d always be in his or Bucky’s without a doubt.

“I- Buck-”

Bucky shakes his head and stands back upright as Steve is lost for words.

“I’m not mad at you, Steve. I get it, you know? You’ve been overworking for the last month, I know you’re stressed, but fuck, baby, you can’t hurt her like that. Do you know how much my heart fucking shattered when I saw her curled up in the corner of her own God-damn balcony?! It tore me apart. She hasn’t cried since you nearly fuckin-” Bucky chokes on his own word as he walks away from his lover.

“I’m sorry! Buck, I’m sorry, okay? I shouldn’t have let Fury send me on that many missions, I- I should’ve said no. I’m sorry.” Steve attempts, standing up and following the brunet, turning him around to face him once more.

“It’s not me you need to be apologising to, Stevie.”

Captain America nods and leans up to press a kiss to the man’s lips.

“I’m sorry, James.”

Bucky takes a deep breath and forces a smile.

“I forgive you. Of course I forgive you, I know you didn’t mean it, but I swear to God, if you hurt her again…”

Steve is already shaking his head.

“I wouldn’t dream of either of you getting hurt. Where is she?”

“Our room.”

He nods and begins heading toward the woman to which he owes more than he can give.

The door is half ajar when Steve gets there, he slowly opens it to reveal his girlfriend in all her glory, curled up under their Captain America themed duvet - which Sam bought the trio as a joke last Christmas. Her face is clear-as-day red from her earlier upset, and it breaks his heart.

The man knocks gently on the day as if not to startle the poor girl.

“Hey, sweetheart.” He offers a solemn smile when she turns to see who’s there.

He hates the way he can see her hesitation to speak to him as opposed to her usual squeal of his name, arms opening wide to welcome him into her cuddle-fest.

“Hi.” She manages, forcing her own smile.

There’s silence floating between them, the only sound being Jensen Ackles, in his role of Dean Winchester, talking a load of nonsense about pie on the TV that’s streaming Supernatural.

“Baby, I’m so sorry.” Steve manages, taking a step toward the bed. “Nothing can excuse the way I yelled at you, and I’m so sorry for that, but, sweetheart, trust me when I say I didn’t mean it. I was so stupidly stressed, and I should never have let it get to that point.”

She nods, truly believing his words, but it still hurt.

The blond sits down on the edge of the bed, not daring to cuddle his girlfriend until she’s comfortable.

“I love you so much, (Y/N) (L/N).”

A bigger smile taints her lips at that.

“I love you too, Steven.” Her voice is barely a whisper but he hears it clear as day.

“Can I hold you?”

(Y/N) smiles and shakes her head as if he was being silly.

“You never need to ask permission for that, Stevie. No matter what.”

With another sad smile, he pulls the woman into his arms and holds her tighter than ever before.

“I’m so sorry, my love.”

“I forgive you, but no more missions for a while.” She whispers.

“Yes, boss.”

Bucky’s leaning against the doorframe, watching the interaction. He took a detour to Tony’s office and made sure to give the billionaire a piece of his mind about making sure Fury didn’t have Steve on any missions for a long time.

“Is this the last episode?” The brunet speaks up, stripping himself of his clothes as he enters their room properly.

“Yeah.” (Y/N) nods.

“I still think we should watch Vampire Diaries instead.” Steve chuckles, mirroring Bucky’s actions.

“I pick the TV show, Rogers shuts his cake-hole.” (Y/N) teases, mocking a line from Supernatural and snuggling herself in the middle of the bed, sandwiched between the two super soldiers - where she belongs. “I love you both.”

“Love you too, sweetheart.”

“Love you always, doll.”

TAGS

Stucky x Reader Only Tag List: polarbearnamedpanda | @marvelous-glims

SFW Only Tag List: @piper-koko-barnes-rogers

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ryvgvji · 4 years

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hi! i was windering can you write a reaction with sero, kaminari, karishima, and tokoyami where their s/o bans sex for 3 weeks? i dont know if you write nsfw at becuase i couldnt fund rules, but you dont have to if you feel uncomfortable☺️

yes sorry about that, i don’t have rules yet, i have to make them 😅 my fault. but yes i do write nsfw stuff for both kpop and anime. but anyways here’s your reaction☺️ hope you like it!! sorry if it’s not the best

(apologies for any grammar errors.)

✰ characters : Ejirou Kirishima, Denki Kaminari, Fumikage Tokoyami, Hanta Sero.

✰ banning Sero, Kirishima, Kaminari and Tokoyami for 3 whole weeks, how will these boys handle that?

Hanta Sero

Sero getting banned from sex , wonder how that happened

most likely happened because Sero would be making fun of you

he and Kaminari would be talking about relationships when suddenly the topic sex came up

Kaminari would talk about how his girlfriend would moan and cry in the bedroom begging him to not stop and go harder

“She be like , ahhh Denki , fuck me hard baby!!” laughing as he mocked her moans

Sero would die laughing , rolling on the floor

“y/n is the same way!” he says as he dries his eyes

“oh Sero , daddy! right there!” he mocked you not at all realizing that he just exposed you

next day at school Kaminari mentions the conversation that him and Sero had

“y/n i didn’t know that you called Sero daddy.”

you almost choke on your food when you hear what Kaminari said

“w-who said that?!”

Kaminari points Sero who’s eyes were basically popping out of their socket

you glared at him wanting to knock him into next week

when i say Sero almost shitted his pants

“baby i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to make fun of you!!” he whines as he trails behind you to you room. you turn around and stare at him. “Sero you mocked me and revealed that i call you daddy during sex, are you really sorry about that?” he doesn't answer instead, he looks at the floor in guilt.

“baby i’m really sorry, you have to believe me,” he said as he grabs a hold of your hand. you look up at him. you could see that he was genuinely sorry. “please! i’ll do anything just please, forgive me.” he practically begs. anything? you think to yourself. a smirk creeps upon your face as you slipped your hand out of his hold. “anything you say?” you cross your arms over your chest. he rapidly nods in response. the perfect punishment pops into your head.

“no sex for three weeks.” you say blandly. Sero’s heart stops. “n-no what?” he stutters. he’s wondering if his ears heard correct. there was no possible way that you could say that to him. that was something that you would never put him through right? wrong! “no. sex. for. three. weeks.” Sero falls to his knees. he looks up at you like a hurt puppy. “baby no, don’t do this to me. i’m sorry. what i did was wrong, completely wrong. just please, i’m begging you. don’t do this.” his eyes somewhat glossy feeling his emotions go crazy. he couldn’t even think about the amount of torture that he would be put through. there was no way that he was gonna last for that long. “you should thought about that before daddy.” you tease lowly as you caress his cheek. you then walk off and leave him there to mope.

the whole three weeks were straight hell for Sero. he was super horny. he would always apologize and tell you he’s sorry everyday, asking you to let up in his punishment. that didn’t work and he would just sulk for the entire rest of the day. all he wants to hold you in his arms again and make you scream his name. when the three weeks were finally up he didn’t waste anytime. right after school he took you straight to his dorm and fucked you so hard that you were limping the next day. “baby, you’ve had me waiting for way to long.”

Ejirou Kirishima

let’s all think about how this all started first...

this started because Kirishima would promise you that he’d take you out on a date

“babe let’s go out together tomorrow after school.”

SIKE! ain’t happening

he ended up going to hang with Bakugo instead, totally forgetting what he promised to you

he spend the while afternoon and evening out with Bakugo leaving you mad and hurt

the next day at school you completely ignore him, walking away and avoiding him anytime that he comes up to you

he even ends up getting a couple of stank eyes from Mina and Momo.

when he practically harrasses you on the way back to the dorms , you finally tell him what’s up

“you stood me up Kirishima.”

that’s when he finally realized

“oh my god, y/n, baby i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to make you upset baby. Bakugo asked me to go with him somewhere yesterday and i didnt remember.” he rambles. you really didn't have a care in the world for what he was saying, your just upset that he stood you up for that his friend, Bakugo any less.

“so Bakugo is more important than me?” you roll your eyes. “baby of course not! what kind of stupid question is that?!” you let out a ‘hm’ and searched through your tv for something to watch. Kirishima grabbed a hold of your hand and make eye contact with you. “baby, i’m really sorry. i understand if your mad at me and i will accept my punishment.” punishment? you weren’t thinking of any punishments, you just are upset with him. but since he mentioned, you guess it’s best that you come up with one.

suddenly an idea pops into your brain. “how about no sex for three weeks?” you say with a innocent smile. Kirishima’s body froze. “babe... what’d you just say?” he asked you. you chuckled slightly. “i said, no sex for three weeks.” you leaned forward and place a light kiss on his lips. he wraps his arms around you and pulls you closer to him, moving his head to the crook of your neck. “baby, you don’t mean that right?” he whisper against your skin, teeth light grazing the area. you almost shudder at the feeling, but you have to keep it together. “yes i do. and it starts right now.” you said and pushed him away.

Kirishima had never been in so much pain. he felt like he was gonna die. honestly for the whole three weeks, his whole demeanor was changed. he wasn’t as cheerful. he’d try everyday to get you to give up; grabbing your thigh under the table, kissing lightly on your neck, grabbing your ass even. unfortunately for him, that didn’t work. when it finally came to the last day of the punishment, he could not hold in his anticipation. he’d just skip school with you fuck you all day, literally all day. “you are really in for it love.”

Denki Kaminari

how did you come to this situation? simple

he l i e d

he said that he was with Sero, Kirishima and Bakugo

what he didn’t talk about was being with her instead of Sero. her as in Jirou

you found out through Sero’s slip up at lunch the next day

“yesterday was crazy, we should definitely do it again!” Kirishima cheered as he ate his lunch

“i still can’t believe that you guys took Jirou instead of me.” he rolled his eyes

“you didn’t go Sero?” you questioned the boy, he shook his head and narrowed his eyes toward Kaminari

“because of that punk over there!” he pointed

you look over to your boyfriend with raised eyebrows

“you said that you went with Sero babe. you lied to me?” you said calmly as you tried your best to keep your composure

the table was dead silent. so was Kami. he didn’t say anything. or make a move

you just shook your head and got up.

“unbelievable.”

“can’t believe you lied.” you said as you sat on your bed and stare at Kaminari. pure guilt shows on his face. you scoff as he doesn’t say a word. you are so mad at him, you don’t even wanna see him right now. “get out Kami. don’t talk to me.” you point to the door of your room. he opens his mouth to say something but you cut him before he cannot. “oh, and on top of that, your punishment for lying to me is no sex for three weeks, now get out.” you pushed him out your room and slam your door.

he didn’t even get to say anything. he really didn’t mean to lie you, it’s never his intention to hurt you. but for some reason which is unknown to him, he just didn’t want you to know about Jirou. it makes him feel so bad. for the entire next week you avoid him and the rest of the boys. anytime he was near you, you walk away. his heart was broken.”baby, please talk to me. i’m sorry. baby.” he called from outside your door. you sigh, getting up from your bed going over to open the door. “yes?”

no words were exchanged. he pulled you into a hugged walking towards your bed. “Kami what are you-” up you were cut of by Kaminari kissing you. you kissed back, wrapping your arms his neck to pull him closer. you missed this. his hands roamed over your body down to your legs. he lightly squeezed them before wrapping them around his hips. “i missed you so much y/n. i’m really sorry about what happened.” he said pulling away from the kiss. he moved to your neck. you let out a soft sigh before closing your eyes. wait, i’m not supposed to be doing this you thought. “wait.” Kaminari looked up at you confused. “you’re still on your punishment.” Kaminari whined and put his head back in your neck before saying, “baby~ please i’m sorry!” you only chuckled and pulled him away from your body. “two more weeks baby.”

by the time the two were over he was ready. he was not going to waste no time. you could literally feel that the whole day he was watching you. eyes following your every move like predator watching it’s prey. touching you nonstop, hands wondering over your body anytime there was an opportunity. when the last bell ran he rushed. picking you up and going all the way to his room. “baby i’ve been waiting for this for so long.”

Fumikage Tokoyami

tokoyami, tokoyami, oh tokoyami...

he just could not keep his hands to himself for some reason

he was touching you EVERYWHERE

“Tokoyami...” you warned him

you were in school you didn’t wanna get caught and get in trouble

he just smirks and continues to touch you

what was even worst is that nobody suspects anything because he was so to himself, no one would have thunk that Toko would do such thing so he didn’t stop

oh lord was lunch something

his grip on your thigh did not letting up

moving his hand further and further up. you felt like you were gonna bust

“baby no. were at school.” you brushed his hand off

“well we’re in your room now.” he teases and graze his fingers up you thigh. you slap his hand away. “ouch...that hurt.” you rolled your eyes. “baby. you’ve touching me all day. i think that you need to calm down.” you said. “but you like it, don’t you love?” he said pulling you onto his lap.

you smile at him and run your hand down his chest. just then a thought popped in your mind. with a mischievous smile you lean down and kiss him. he wrap his arms around you and leans back on the bed. you pull away and look him in his eyes. “baby how about this.” you lean closely to his ear. “no sex for three weeks baby. since you were being disobent and touching me non stop you are banned from sex.” Tokoyami’s breath hitches in his throat. “really that’s how is gonna be love?” his voice deep and low. you sit up on top and cross your arms. “that’s what i said.” you smiled. you see Tokoyami roll is eyes. “okay then. that’s fine with me, really don’t care.”

this is gonna be easy. or so Tokoyami thought. two weeks in and he can’t sleep. it’s been too long for him. he can’t go any longer. he tries everything that he can to break you. he wants you to give in. “baby, i need you.” he would whisper in your ear. you would only laugh and push him away saying “boy bye.”

thankfully, when the three weeks were over before he knew it. he never been so happy than before, this was something that we wants so bad. even dark shadow hasn’t been this excited. as soon as the weekend hits, he calls you and tell you pack backs cause your staying over his. before you could even knock on his door, he pulls you in, picks you and gently sets you down on the bed. “love let’s waste no time.”

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chrisevansgoodgirl · 3 years

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Heyooo, here’s the scorpihoe anon! You have made pretty good points, but see, here’s my probelm, I hate when someone’s condescending to me or is giving me a lecture, even when I know I did sth wrong lol... that’s probably a very toxic trait, but it is what it is, lol...I mean, he would have to respect that too, like, okay, give me a lecture, but don’t expect me to feel guilty about it (if it’s not anything serious ofc, lol). However, if his lecture was in the form of bending me over his knee, I’m down (on my knees for him right after he turns my ass different shades of red)! Anyway, I have a Cancer in my close circle - a girl tho - and her sex drive is mad, so that’s why I think Steve would fuuuck the shit outta you, and I agree with you on all those points, but oh my god, the girl... she’s also so fucking annoying, like hella fucking annoying...And believe me, I’ve tried to be friends with her, still sometimes try tbh, because she could be cool, I feel it, but she’s so self-centred, and all she talks about is herself and her fucking boyfriend, she talks about things I don’t fucking understand and don’t give a fuck about, and even though I told her several times, she just kept. fucking. going! So I would really want to see what Steve would be like irl. If he had a similar personality, I would just fuck him, be fwb with him, whatever, but I think I’d be close to commiting murder if I were in a relationship with him lol. Like, all I’d want for him would be respecting my slightly mean, slightly audacious behavior.. I mean, I’m not straight up evil, and I don’t want to hurt anybody, so if I see they can’t take my attitude and are sensitive, they’re just not my people🤷‍♀️

Yep, I don’t like condescending either! That’s what makes me crazy. I don’t think it’s a toxic trait tho, you know? Like I’m kinda the same. Just tell me what your feelings on the situation are but you don’t need to lecture me tbh I’m only taking that shit from Steve bc I kinda want him to talk down to me but that’s whatever like I’d still be a brat while he was doing it even tho I want it but like...

But I really do think if Steve was being patient with you and nice and you just kept pushing. Yeah, he would take punishment to an extreme level. The vibe I kinda get from Steve isn’t fake, I dont think he’s a liar. That’s actually very important to me, I would need him never to lie to me or I would never trust him or anyone else ever again but see I’m totally allowed to withhold info and everyone is just going to have to get over it lol that’s a pretty toxic trait of mine but I feel like he’s overly concerned with being nice and doing the right thing and coming off as a very pure and good man. But like why does he care so much? I think it’s bc he’s super dark and it kinda concerns him sometimes like I bet he was fine with Peggy for a while but if they had sex, totally a head canon of mine that, it was just boring. Peggy is dominant herself and so Steve didn’t really get to be in charge and he forced himself to be fine with it bc he was in love or whatever but then he got out of the ice and realized women here don’t give a shit and are down to let him be absolutely disgusting with them. The bitch is from brooklyn! I know he has weird ass kinks!

So with Steve. Yeah he’s gonna fuck you well. But I do think he’s obsessive so I think Steve’s biggest flaw would be ignoring you for work! And when he gets home and he’s either not talking because he’s brooding on his own or he’s ranting and can’t let it go. I do think his obsessive tendencies will probably make him neglect you sometimes but I think Steve is nice enough and smart enough to respond to healthy communication...my problem is that I’m not healthy and I would probably just flip a table honestly

But I feel you. My aunt is a cancer and honestly she has some of the worst traits in the whole fucking world. I really hate self centered people too. Like don’t get me wrong, I love hearing people talk about their lives and I’m a freak who is absolutely obsessed with knowing everyone’s secrets, I fucking act like it’s currency and idk why, but yeah if it feels like shallow conversation, I could not care less. I will admit that I like the current trend in astrology where less people are calling us out for being the “meanest” sign and are instead focusing on how fake Pisces are and how manipulative cancers are! In conclusion, we are the best.

But with Steve, I think your concerns are totally valid but I must raise you this. He loves Natasha and she has her questionable ways. So I think he might be a pouty bitch sometimes and clutch his pearls bc you’re ~~~~being mean but I also just think it’s an act. As long as you’re not committing some great crime against America lol, honestly I do think he’d prob let you get away with murder if he was in love with you

And you know what else I suspect about Steve? Like he seems to me like he doesn’t like people of this time so I bet that bitch is a gossip. And he might pretend sometimes that you’re so mean, but he’s mean! Like really he won’t go around talking shit to everyone that he likes about everyone that he hates, you definitely have to be like a level 9 girlfriend to get him to start opening up like that to you but I know he’s petty too. And idk if you have this Scorpio trait but if my good friends (not just like casual acquaintances) or a bf don’t like someone, I don’t like that person either. Steve would totally fucking get off on literally hating the same people. So what my point is is that I love him and I trust him...but I also don’t trust him ☠️ but I would do anything he asked of me bc I think he’s perfect and never wrong and that’s my obsessive Scorpio habit honestly

#ask tag #I know he has kinks bc he was a Brooklyn bby #I know he does and one day I will make this list

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bitchiha · 4 years

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Hello, may I request a matchup and be matched with a male from Naruto,Marvel and Harry Potter, please and thank you. LINK - The first part is infoship2 (.) tumblr (.) (com) (without the parentheses). You can take as much time as you need to, I don’t mind being patient & waitiing.

A/N: Hey!! Thank you for the request, you’re honestly such a supportive person on my blog and I love you so much <3 w/ that being said, I present your ships under the cut below!

I ship you with..

Shino Auberame!

Tbh I think Shino is so underrated. Like we seen him putting fate and effort into Hinata to help her improve her skills throughout Shonen Jump and Shippuden. With that being said, I think it’s safe to say he can help you cope with and over come the challenges that come with depression and OCD. Like he is a really caring and supportive boyfriend.

He’s smart and observant, so he will be able to tell when you are okay and when you are lying. It doesn’t matter if you’re hiding it the best you can. Being that he’s smart, he won’t pry at you to tell him what’s wrong either (bc you can’t force things out of people), unless he thinks it would be damaging not too.

Working with Hinata and Kiba has improved his patience incredibly. So if you are in a crappy mood or you’re arguing, you can’t piss him off or get under his skin easily. The level headed way he goes about himself would be really helpful for yourself and the relationship as well.

You can’t expect Shino to open up right away. If you start off as friends though (which is what you both prefer anyway), once you become boyfriend and girlfriend he’s much more open. Infact he’ll probably seek you out over anyone else when in need of advice. I think he’d be also really thoughtful and helpful in terms of giving you advice as well. Hes like your personal advisor lol

You also mentioned you have this kind of melancholy temperament and I thought that was so suiting for Shino LMFAOAOAO. Anyway, what I mean by that is like if you’re in one of those moods it won’t annoy him or frustrate him at all. He’ll probably join in, he’s usually like that anyway. You two can be melancholy together. Unless he feels like the mood is unhealthy, then he’ll try and cheer you up.

He has a passion for insects, you have one for animals. You’ll have to put up with him showing you all the cool new insects he’s found and listen to him blab about ‘em to you. In return he’ll go out animal watching with you. He will get very passionate on these expeditions with you, not to mention he’s smarts really come in handy. He’ll know what type of bird likes what type of trees, how to track down a certain animal, how to follow their prints in the dirt, etc.

Loves when you get passionate tbh. You’re both pretty quiet, but when a subject comes up that you’re interested in, you can talk for hours. You two will literally blab together for hours once you’re on a subject you both like. Kiba and Hinata will be like :0 wtf bitch never talks to me that much.

You sometimes think that what you say isn’t going to be Important so you hold back and that instantly made me think of Shino. Not that he holds back what he has to say, but the fact that when he often says something, he’s talked over or cut off. So he would 10/10 understand how you feel and would make a valiant effort to make sure that your voice is heard. Like sure, Kiba can talk over him, but if he tries to talk over you Shino will box his ass. Okay, not really box him, but you get the point. He’ll probably be like “Kiba wait, she wasnt finished talking.” Or “You cut her off, she was saying something important.” Or if those are too forward he’ll probably turn to you and say something encouraging like “Dont worry, I’m listening” or “continue what you were saying” but please, for the love of god, do the same for him.

Youve talked about how you have trust issues with loyalty and relationships, but tbh with Shino you won’t have to worry at all. Like once he’s hooked on you and you’re dating, he’s sold. There’s no one else he’s gonna go to or think about. If anything, he probably has similar views to you in terms of love.

He’d play board games with you and listen to music with you a lot as well. His taste is kind of all over the place in terms of music, but he’s open to any suggestions you have. Will also lowkey be a big anime fan. Probably likes the classic kinds of animes like Dragon Ball Z, One Piece and Pokemon.

Bucky Barnes!

Bucky is attracted to quieter people, they’re just easier to be around. However, he does like talking too. Like he adores having thoughtful conversations with someone he trusts and cares about.

Honestly I think you two are similar in a lot of ways, but not too similar in the sense that things will never be progressive in the relationship, if you know what I mean. Like he has things he needs to work on and you have things you need to work on. Some of his strong suits happens to be your weaker ones, so you two help eachother out a little bit.

Like Shino, he can be standoffish and a little closed off at first but once you start to date, he’s like an open book. It takes a lot of trust to get into a romantic relationship with him, he doesn’t through the boyfriend girlfriend title around like it’s nothing. He takes it seriously.

That being said, your views on love are also very similar. He’s honestly so scared of being cheated on, but he’s also not the type to be over protective or over bearing because of it. If you’re in a relationship with him, he trusts you. He would never think to cheat, in fact, he probably doesn’t give any incoming flirters the time of day.

Honestly, you said you’re described by some as a house cat and I think that vibe is perfect for Bucky. Like he just wants that kind of life. He doesn’t want a crazy and eccentric lifestyle (he’s had his fair share of that), if you wanna laze around on the couch for a day and watch movies, he’s down.

He’ll like Anime too, once you introduce him to it. Probably lives and breathes for Naruto Shippuden. I think he’ll also like sporty anime’s like Stars Align and Haikyuu you cannot change my mind. He’ll be the emotional type when watching anime, which is weird because he’s usually more reserved in terms of emotions. Will love to talk to you about it afterwards.

You can be his shoulder to lean on and a good listener, but so is he. Since you’re both pretty observant people, I think fights can get resolved pretty quickly. Like you’ll be able to think through what happened and come to a conclusion together. Also, he’ll be able to tell when somethings off with you. It may take him a few months of the relationship, but once he’s in the swing of things, he’ll know you like the back of his hand.

He’ll definitely be able to help you stop with being a people pleaser. Like whenever you start down that path he’ll stop you and kinda get you to check yourself real quick. “You don’t have to do that for them,” or instead of you doing it he’ll do it instead, just to get you to stop pleasing that person. He knows you don’t like it yourself and can’t help it sometimes, so he tries his best to help.

He’s athletic asf and he also likes spending time with you, so he will do yoga with you. He’ll probably be so fucking awkward at it at first, like he will not know what he’s doing. Just give him a minuet, he’ll end up really liking it and will probably want to try all those crazy couples yoga poses.

Will like to have deep and thoughtful conversations with you as well. Probably about things you both like. He’s not super talkative unless it’s about something he can get into.

George Weasley!

He’s a nice break from the two more ‘emo mysterious’ types I just suggested. He’ll be a good change from the dreary moments you’ll have. If you’re in a melancholy mood I would think he’d crack some jokes and make you laugh. But sometimes he’ll let you be bc he feels you need your melancholy moments or else you’ll malfunction.

He’ll watch anime with you. To be honest I think all the weasleys would watch it. He wouldn’t mind any kind of anime as long as there is action in it. Whenever you visit him on the holidays or he visits you, you best believe there will be anime marathons. He loves Naruto. I don’t think he’s got the patience to watch the whole entire thing, but he’ll make it a good ways into shippuden before moving on.

George is smart. He is. Like maybe he doesn’t apply himself all that much into school because it doesn’t entertain him, but you entertain him. Like he really likes you. So he’s gonna put effort into you. All that being said, I think he’d be very helpful when it comes to any struggles you have in regards to your depression and OCD.

He’ll know when you’re lying about If you’re okay or not, but he handles it differently than the other two. I think he’ll take it as a sign to cheer you up. Whether it be muttering something sweet to you when you pass each other in the halls, or pulling a giant prank on the school if you are in a particularly sad mood.

He’d be interested in all your interests that’s for sure. He’s not the insecure type, so He’s willing to put himself out there. Sure he’s never done yoga before, but he will do it if you ask him too. Same thing with all your other interests.

Since he does most of the talking in the relationship, he’ll always try and bring up topics you like. That way you can be the one talking more for a change. He’s also so encouraging in wanting you to talk more. He’ll know when to leave you be though. Like if he sees your close to blowing a fuse, he’ll either try and defuse your mood, or leave you alone for some time to think.

Honestly he’s just encouraging in general so if you ever want advice he’s there for you.

Also in terms of your ideas on love, I think he’ll be somewhat in the same boat as you. Like I definitely believe he’s not the type to cheat. He’s invested in you, not the other girls. I think he has a brighter idea to love than yours though. Not that yours is dark or anything, but his is just more ambitious??

Really I think his attitude can be super complimentary to yours. I don’t think they’ll clashing tbh, I think it’s actually very beneficial.

He’s a bit of a tease, so once he first hears someone call you a house cat or describe you as one I definitely think he will call you that. He’ll be like “where’s my darling house cat?”

10/10 think he’d be a good bf to you

#naruto headcanons #harry potter headcanon #marvel headcanons #george weasley #bucky barnes #shino aburame

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shirts181 · 4 years

Text

Random life vent

I remember being really happy as a kid/teenager, everything was awesome, always had friends and family around and did cool stuff, didn’t overthink about anything just lived my life as it came day by day. Not anymore. Before i dive into this, there’s going to be so many things im going to miss or havent remembered thats probably vital or important in relation to what im saying and as im re-reading over it ill realise i havent added something so yeah just a heads up, im a guy in his mid 20′s, majority of this my friends now dont even know about and i couldnt even imagine trying to explain all this shit to somebody i know, i guess thats why im here lol, i want to add and not sure if its related to how i turned out or not but growing up i was always on the shy side, wasn’t super shy but like when i would do shit like do a class presentation by myself id always go red and blush and sometimes get teary, not that i was sad or upset, id just get fucking teary like a dickhead lol, would use my hands when i talked and just overall looked like a nervous wreck. I was comfy around friends and family, could do whatever, didnt really care, if anything i felt like an extrovert around them, but when it came to being in situations i didnt know anybody, i plainly would just say nothing, not make an effort to really engage in conversation, just lay back and wait for that situation to be over til i was with my friends. If somebody approached me id obviously talk to them and whatever but rarely would i be the person initiating anything like that, was a bit of a idiot like that growing up lol. I’ve always been the person who wanted everyone to be happy, i was always oblivious to how other people like my friends had family or whatever issues growing up and the REAL impact it has on them, like divorced parents or they dont know their mum or dad or whatever that stuff, i knew people with depression and anxiety growing up and i was always open to talk to people about it, i LOVED being the friend to speak to if anybody was feeling like shit or wanted to vent, it made me feel really appreciated and id been given this trust to listen to what they have to say, like i might be able to make them feel better about what they had to say regardless of if i could properly help/change their circumstances and problems, but maybe put a smile on their face and make them laugh and let them know it’ll be ok without even being sure if it would, but i never would say that and 100% know it would be ok, but by saying that it might just give them some hope that things CAN be ok and they then believe it can change for the better. From the age of 16 i was super self conscious, i cared what people thought of me, not that im a super ugly guy or had anything dramatically wrong looks wise or how i was, but more so for me maybe like saying something and somebody over hearing it and me being like “oh fuck i should of said that” because it might sound bad or like having pimples (probably same as every teenager ever lol) or a bad hair day (literally) kinda thing. I cared how people portrayed me, i wanted everyone to know i was just average person who just wanted everybody to be happy, i made conscious decisions on what i said to who and where i said it, clothes i would wear depending on where i was going and who might see me, that stuff was like a necessity in my life, i wasn’t like ocd about that stuff because sometimes id be in situations where i know id be judged but still followed through, but something about me just fuckinggggg hated having somebody look at me a certain way and portray me differently to who i really am. I just re-read that and holy shit lol i sound like an idiot the way i’ve said what i’ve said, this is another thing about me maybe saying something and not accurately making it out to sound how i intend it to sound. Whatever rofl, now the real shit. I got diagnosed by a psych with anxiety when i was 18, this was the beginning of my mental downfall from then to this day. About 6-7 months of solid anxiety i could barely leave my house, was scared for no fucking reason, dont even know why, all i remember is my heart beating like crazy and feeling like i was going to pass out or whatever. This would happen mainly in social situations during and before even seeing others/doing things. I would work myself up to the point of crying, getting hives/being itchy everywhere on my body, nervously shaking and visually just looking terrified. I couldn’t drive properly because i’d get panic attacks and id feel like im about to pass out and i cant escape cos im trapped inside a car, traffic was the worst especially when i was alone, there was numerous times that i fucking cried in my car before and after id pull over to relax myself, how stupid is this shit? Why does this happen to people, how does this shit happen to ME, i dont even get why this all is even happening, im not an unhealthy person by any means so im not sick and didnt have symptoms of any illness, wtf is going on. How the fuck do i get over this, ended up seeing a psych because i had no idea wtf was wrong with me, bring in my diagnosis of having anxiety. While i was at home, i would hardcore grind out games on my computer, it made me feel normal and not like absolute shit, dont know why but at the time thats all that made me not feel like absolute shit and scared of being outside in the world. I took pills for this, tried to be active by exercising, playing sport and making an effort and forcing myself out of the house. At the start it was absolute torture, i didn’t ever think i’d get over this, it was that bad. I was on medication, couldn’t tell you what one because i just dont remember and never payed attention to medication names etc. Fast forward 6-7 months, i am actually feeling ok, i apply for jobs, go to job interviews with ease, im actually feeling really good like im making improvements in my life and progressing correctly by taking the next step, something i wouldn’t of thought of doing months earlier. I ended up getting a job and it was like a weight off my shoulders, i was excited, my parents were super happy with me for how far that i had come, i felt good as, potentially like im on track to success in living my life and being able to feel good again. As i got this job i was confident in going out and felt like i could properly just do shit, like i could be me again. This lasted about 15 months, i was ok to drive, i NEVER had a panic attack during this 15 months, i felt good af, when i drove i would even laugh at myself be like “why tf was i panicking? why was i such an idiot and getting worried over shit that cant and wont effect me and make me feel scared? why would i care about those things”, even in like social situations same thing, it was great. It all started to come back, slowly it like bloody crept its way back to being bad, but at this stage i was in denial, i was like na i can get over this i dont need to see anybody, but realistically i probably needed to. To this day i’ve never seen a psych about it, for the last 4-5 years ive almost just adapted to knowing im going to have panic attacks and feel like shit, iv learnt to cope and deal with it myself, the thought of me taking pills for this again scares me, why would i want to take pills to get better again when once i feel good, come off them, id get back into this state of mind and feel anxious again, and then repeat, why the fuck, seriously, why the fuck would i put myself into this potential scenario, i say potential because its a possibility, but thats not a risk im willing to take, people get addicted to this shit, ultimately what im trying to say is i dont want to be that person that gets reliant on taking pills to just having a functioning mind that doesnt make me feel scared and afraid, why cant i just shake this off? is there something im not doing? wtf is the cure to this shit? i know its not the pills because i dont want to become reliant on medications to make me happy. Im pretty convinced im depressed too, iv had serious thoughts about suicide, but i dont think im somebody who could actually commit to it, and if i was, i would probably make the decision to speak to somebody, but im stuck in a mindset where im not going to die from it, but i feel like shit all the time, i dont want meds, i dont know how to fix where im at pretty much, theres things that have happened to me the last couple years which have convinced me im a bad partner in a relationship, not for things i do but for what i unintentionally didnt do, im not a fulfilling boyfriend, ive either never obviously met the right girl for me or im just not fit to be a boyfriend, and thats what i think, how can somebody commit to me but im to stressed and worried about how my commitment to them might not be enough? the constant worry of not being a good boyfriend, when all i really want is for everything to be ok and happy, not that if things arent good or happy that thats a bad thing, i totally understand not everything is perfect and there are shit things that happen to people or in the world thats always going to happen, but i feel like, mainly with my last ex girlfriend, i felt like i was in a competition half the time to compete and get reassurance i was being a good boyfriend because i didnt know anything else, i was locked into this relationship i felt i couldnt escape, i so badly wanted out but was sucked into the mindset that if i left id have nothing and couldnt be with anybody because shes the only one who would be with me cos she already is, how the fuck do i overcome this, how do i get out? Its been a year since she ended up breaking up with me and pretty much for those reasons, i wasn’t up to par with her standards, i wasnt her dream boyfriend, for somebody who accepted my past issues with anxiety and letting her in on all my personal shit, if somebody who i thought cared for me leaves me, how could i ever convince or even get another girl to be with me knowing i have this weight and baggage of being a potential let down and not being able to be the person she needs me to be? Writing all this i thought id feel better but i kinda still feel like shit. I weighed up deleting this, i had it all highlighted ready to backspace and alt f4 this but fuck it i might regret not posting this, i guess thats why im here anyway. If you read all this sorry for the random bullshit, i re-read it and i sidetracked myself hard from what i was originally going to say but im kinda tired and was literally just typing anything that came to my mind andddd yeeeeaaaahhh.. peace

#anxiety #depression #latenightthoughts #venting #myreality #mylife #imisstheoldme #shellberightmate #bullshitery #mentalsuffering #mentalhealthissues

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justapayneaway · 4 years

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Okay so the video had some shit that I could potentially understand from an outsider's point of view but hell this is just plain stupid. The Harry situation was clearly a joke. Yeah I guess how he said it might have stung and made people question his thought but he was clearly joking. (1/?) (This is about that video with the hateful remarks of Liam, I thought maybe I should rant about it. Pay in mind it was late and I already had a crap mood so I'm pretty not okay during this rant)

The girlfriend situation, don't even start with it. Yeah she's 18, that girl ain't 19 and even if she was, internet really did her wrong by finding ways to show she aint. That situation fucked up Liam even more and idc if he loves her or whatever but it clearly didnt do him justice and I wish they never made it public, even if it's a stunt or a "real" couple. Like that made people hate him more. (2/?)

The merch is people's choice. I hate the hoodie but I like the t-shirt. He has the rights to sell whatever he wants. His album might be expensive online but its cheap af in stores. It costs 15$ cad here which is nothing compared to the others's album (Louis doesn't count). (3/?)

Mr. Boring" was given by hateful people because he looks like that jock guy that wants to fuck you and leave you like a rag but we dont even know him. Nobody knows any of the boys so this is just a wrong thing. This could be his persona or the real him but what does that do you? Y'all really love to make him look bad with any ounce of being you have. This boy is much more than Mr. Boring but all of you fuck him up constantly so of course he comes of different. (4/?)

I wouldn't blame him, if people always told me I was the worst or boring, you will try not to be or shut everyone out. Cringeworthy lyrics? OH GOD YES! But some of his tracks on Lp1 aren't as much. Stack it Up sucked balls and I wish its death because it was horrible. Strip that down is that generic song you find in clubs which is fine. All his songs lack something for sure but they are still very good. (5/?)

Lyrics wise he said he didnt have inspiration to write which honestly I don't blame him, maybe he ain't a wordy person to open up and ask people to write shit for him and I dont blame him. He gave what he could and I'm proud of him. Yeah some lyrics are problematic af and I wish they worded it better or made it look less crappy but what can we do? (6/?)

A lot of artists write like that but no! LIAM JAMES PAYNE has to be hated on it as if he is the only one who does those kind of lyrics. Some artists have the same intentions but some aren't as straightforward but still, it's all the same. Plus, Rude Hours and Both Ways are like 2 songs and he gets dragged on repeat for it when there are good songs on the album. (7/?)

I hate his team for making 3 different albums with the target one with 2 bonus and the Japanese one with 3 extra bonuses and that sucks. His features should've been out of the album and have those 5 beautiful bonus songs in instead. The Christmas one should have been off the album. Stack it up was a failure from the start. (8/?)

I just wish people would stop hating on him and always drag him down. He is much more but I see what those people see because Liam ain't himself and he didnt give his 100% but he seems okay enough to have this album out and seems pretty proud so just give him some rest. This album ain't as bad people make it to be. People hate those 2 problematic songs and wont even listen to the other songs. (9/?)

And not everyone has the same music taste. I like "sexual" pop music and rock. His music are those generic sex songs and that isnt a bad thing. If he likes doing it, who is to tell him to not do that? Y'all really compare him to 1D Eras and the bandmates but they are different. Liam maybe likes these 'popular' shit and what does that do you? Liam is human. Liam is Liam. We cant do shit and he lives his life. Give him a break jeez.. (10/10) [sorry for this rant, you can hate me if you want to]

__________________

Okay anon I don’t hate you at all! This is well thought and I do agree with a lot of point you made here. I’ll try making a few comments by ask since this is big lmao

BTW SUPER IMPORTANT: don’t watch that video and don’t spread it! Report it if you feel like doing something about it.

1. But what even is the Harry situation? Him saying that they aren’t best friends? Or that they have much in common? Because that’s understandable. Or is it the “harry’s clothes” comment of 2017 that harries keep bringing up when you can clearly see that Liam was just joking?

2. I do agree with you! The situation with the teenager just made things way worse for him. It added a lot of hate and it was completely unnecessary, especially how they keep bringing her up every single time and how she is always there!

3. I actually like his merch. I think it’s simple, but the white t-shirt is amazing. Sure the hoodies could have been more elaborated, but they’re super cozy! The thing I appreciate most about his merch is that it’s actually affordable. Btw I agree that it’s personal taste. His album is kind of cheap compared to other albums I've bought.

4. But the thing for me is that Liam was never boring. He is smart and has a brilliant dark sense of humor. I think that some old 1d fans didn't like him much because he was always the spokesperson and had to say the shit nobody wanted to be said. People don’t seem to want to get past that to be honest with you!

5. I agree with you! I really prefer Liam to shut up these fucking people with his success and what he wants to do that being an underwear campaign. Sure, some of the lyrics aren’t poetic shit, but there are others that are really deep and have some dark themes behind them. The songs aren’t bad at all in my opinion. SIU should have never been released, but I think we can all agree with that one!

6. I do think that Liam wasn’t 100% inspired, but I also feel like these are the songs we were supposed to get last year. They aren’t current if that makes sense, so of course some lyrics aren’t worded okay.

7. I never thought it was a bad thing to use lyrics written by other people. That’s literally why songwriters exist! And a lot of people don’t write their own lyrics, but apparently it’s only bad for Liam to do it. I do agree! He is getting dragged for two songs.

8. I don’t understand why they made three different albums. I understand wanting to keep the old songs because in terms of certifications/streams it gives him an advantage, but the extra songs are so damn good! They deserved more than this and he actually wrote on them. With the whole thing of the album I really don’t understand why AIWFC was added!

9. I think you say it all with this part “This album ain’t as bad as people make it to be”. That’s the truth! I like the album and sure I'd do thing differently, probably. But I think people are judging the album based on BW and they are just going along with the hate. This album is exactly what Liam said it was going to be! A mix of songs that felt like a playlist with different genres.

10. It’s a personal taste thing again! I consume all kinds of music, I’m eclectic. I’ve been like that since I was a kid and learnt to play music. It isn’t bad that Liam is showing what kind of music he did and experimenting with different genres. For me it makes him a more complete artist to be honest with you! I really hate that they keep comparing them. Just let them all be whatever the fuck they want!!

In conclusion, I don’t understand the hate and I wish it would end.

(Hope this answers you and don’t feel bad about ranting! It’s good to let it out.)

#Liam Payne #stunts #lp1 #this got really fucking big #wow so sorry if people bother to read this #Anonymous

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pizzarollpatrol · 6 years

Text

Fic Rec List #2 10/28/18

If any of the links don’t work, please let me know!. Just wanted to say thank you to all the authors on this list. You and all the effort you put into your fics are very much appreciated 💖

Kiss of Life by @sincerelymlg

Summary: Bucky and the reader go on a mission that quickly takes a turn for the worst.

Flustered by @notimetoblog

Summary: It’s easy to see when Bucky is flustered. His mannerisms are beyond adorable but they might be hiding something more. --- I’m such a hoe for soft!bucky. I loved this fic, its so sweet and endearing.

Quick Stories by @notimetoblog

Summary: Waking up early with Bucky is not always so bad. Bucky x reader.

Marry Me by @buckymorelikefuckmebarnes

Summary: Wedding day. (thats a shitty summary im so sorry) --- You thought this fics was shit but HA you are so wrong because it broke me :) Bucky x Reader

Death Do Us Part by @sgtjbuccky

Summary: For centuries, the God of Death had known two things about mortals. One, they were his job, his to collect when their days came to an end, and two, they were obnoxiously odd beings. Their purpose ceased to make sense to him. Never did he understand thy they created a life for themselves, why they loved, why they love other morals when they knew none of it would last forever. It was nothing but sheer stupidity, but that was until he met you. A mortal unlike any other. A mortal that would make him question everything. A mortal that would teach the God of Death how to live. God of Death!Bucky x Mortal!Reader. Ongoing series --- Wow. Where do I even begin? I absolutely love this series, its so different from others that I’ve read. I loved every chapter.

A Supernatural Marvel by @angelkurenai

Summary: Imagine being transported in the Supernatural universe, with no memory of your life, where you become a hunter and fall in love with Dean. Only for a very important person from your past to come looking for you and change it all. Dean Winchester x Reader, Steve Rodgers x Reader. Ongoing series. --- This is one of my current favorite series!! You really know how to keep us on our toes, I love it!!

Take Me Higher by @buckychrist

Summary: Who knew that the way into the big broody super soldier’s heart was through his unmet need for a good cuddle? Bucky x Reader. --- If a fic has a cuddly bucky, sign me the fuck up. I loved this, its so sweet.

Educating Bucky by @buckfics

Virgin 1930′s Bucky x Reader. Smut. --- Holy fuck. This has got to be my absolute favorite smut I’ve literally ever read. I get so happy when it pops up on my dash again. There isn't a damn thing I dont love about this fic. Its so sweet and believable and I just cant stop myself from reading it.

Sincerely, Me by @buckitybarnes

Summary: Bucky Barnes is a quiet fellow when it comes to socializing with you. After one mishap, however, he finds a way to communicate his feelings without speaking so much. You’ve soon come to learn not every relationship has to be verbal to be important. Bucky x Reader. Completed series.

A Week in Boston by @blacktithe7

Summary: It was your first vacation in years. Just one week all by yourself in the big city of Boston. No rules. No expectations. Just a list of places to go and things you wanted to see. That all changed the you run into a certain blue-eyed Boston boy who turned your world upside down. Is it really possible to fall in love with someone in just one week? Or is that kind of love just a fairytale? Chris Evens x Reader. Ongoing series.

Stubborn Love by @barnesrogersvstheworld

Prompt: You cant live your life based on “what-ifs”. Steve Roders x Reader. --- This was so intense, I loved every word.

Date Night by @jaamesbbarnes

Summary: Heavily pregnant but very tired, you still insist to go out for your usual date night with your boyfriend. Chris Beck x Reader. --- This is one of the sweetest fics I ever read. I’ve never heard of “stardust” being used as a pet name and I swear my heart exploded when I read it.

Body Guard by @oliverwxod

Summary: Tony Stark is a very rich man and with that came a lot of enemies. After a tragic event Tony decides himself and the people most important to him, especially his daughter, are in danger. He hires personal body guards. Bucky Barnes is assigned to Y/n Stark, the most troublesome, reckless Stark that there is. Bucky x Reader. Body guard!AU. Ongoing series.--- Absolutely loved this series! So many twists and turns!

40 Days by @abaddonwithyall

Summary: Dean and you are already in an established relationship when he tempts you to give up orgasms for Lent. The only catch? Anyone and Everyone is open to trying to get you off. Let the games begin. Dean x Reader. Eventual Sam x reader, Castiel x reader, Gabriel x reader, Crowley x reader, Charlie x reader, Bela x reader, John x reader, Gadreel x reader, Lucifer x reader, Rowena x reader, Benny x reader, Jo x reader etc. Smut. Uncompleted series. (its from 2016, only the last two parts are missing but its all good) --- This is pure filth and its amazing.

Starved by @theonewiththefanfics

Summary: The Reader is a touchy-feely kind of a person and when she joins the Avengers nothing changes. Apart from the fact that Bucky Barnes is so touch starved, he craves for the soft feel of her skin against his and is over the moon when she treats him the same way she treats everybody else. Yet now day she simply stops, and he doesn't know why. Bucky x reader. Smut

You Aren't My Father by @winchesters-favorite-girl

Summary: When Sam shuts the gates of hell, Dean promised that he would take care of Sam’s little girl. However, things didn't go the way anybody suspected. After Dean settles into his apple pie life, he drifts away from his niece, who decided to take her future into her own hands. Uncle!Dean x Niece!Reader. Angst. Completed series. --- Holy crap. This is one of the best fics I've read, I read this series a long, long time ago and I’m still thinking about it.

My Turn by @sis-tafics

Summary: You and Dean are blowing off some steam. Dean x reader. Smut.

Afraid of the Flame by @thosekidswhohuntmonsters

Summary: Bucky learns from a surprising friend that you shouldn't live a life of things unsaid. Bucky x reader.

It’s My Favorite Movie by @notnaturalanahi

Summary: Classice movie challenge. Movie prompt: “Are you not entertained?” Gladiator - 2000. Sam Winchester x reader. Smut

The Pumpkin Carver by @softlybarnes

Summary: Bucky and Y/N prepare for Halloween, when Bucky realizes something. Bucky x reader. --- I love The Florist and The Beekeeper so much, I was so happy to see you wrote another part. I loved it.

Watching by @mrsjohnsmith

Summary: Dean likes to watch. Sam x reader x Voyeur!Dean. Smut

Stepping Sideways by @siren-kitten-his

Summary: She steps sideways between worlds just watching those that live there...until Jefferson catches her eye. Jefferson (OUAT) x Fae!OC Mae. Smut. --- This is the first ever Jefferson fic I’ve read and i loved it!!

Ride by @wayward-and-worn

Summary: Sam and Y/N are in an established relationship. The milestones that had to cross to get this far go without saying. She's never been on top. Sam Winchester x Plus!Reader. Smut

All that Glitters by @moonbeambucky

Summary: Natasha found a sneaky way to get you to reveal your secret relationship. Bucky x reader. Smut. --- I LOVED this, its so clever and hilarious.

The Unimaginable by @moonbeambucky

Summary: As Bucky’s wife and mother of his child, you always worried for him when he was on a mission. This last mission will change your life forever. Bucky x reader. Angst. --- When i read the summary, I thought I had an idea about what was going to happen but it was so much worse. There were so many tears.

My Love, by @emilyevanston

Summary: Steve writes you a letter every time he goes on a mission. They usually arrive after he gets back. Steve x reader.

The Fiancé by @mycapt-ohcapt

Summary: Life takes an unexpected twist when you and Steve Rogers have to pretend to be engaged to cover up your little white lie. Steve x reader. Fake dating!AU. Completed mini series.

I Can’t Swim by @revengingbarnes

Summary: The reader pretends to drown to grab the attention of the hot lifeguard who looks after the beach. Lies don’t last long though, and eventually it backfires. Lifeguard!Bucky x reader. --- I LOVED this, its so cute and sweet. I had this goofy ass smile on my face the whole time I read it.

Sound by @bucky-barfs

Summary: You and Steve have been pining after each other for a while. Both to afraid to make a more, that is until you're stuck in a limo in heavy traffic. Steve x reader. Smut.

Crowded Places by @papi-chulo-bucky

Summary: You have a hard time warming up to Bucky, who constantly rejects you. But one day after his Winter Soldier mode is triggered, it seems there’s more to his brooding and stand off demeanor than he let’s on. Bucky x Reader/Winter Soldier x reader. --- I loved this!!! I’ve never read one like this and it turned out so sweet and weirdly endearing.

Memories and Music by @bitsandbobsandstuff

Summary: When you follow the sound of beautiful music, you find Bucky Barnes in front of the piano, and wonder if your heart might break just a little. Bucky x reader.

Three Shades of a Man by @bitsandbobsandstuff

Summary: It was different every time, what Bucky needed from you to survive himself. It was in these moments you saw the shades behind the mask he work in front of the world. Bucky x reader. Smut. Completed mini series. --- The first chapter was so intense and such a difference compared to chapel three, which I absolutely loved. It was so sweet and relieving to see their relationship like that after reading the first two chapters. I loved it.

Trepidation by @cumonbucky

Summary: Everything your world was right until Bucky’s ex girlfriend came along. Bucky x reader. Completed mini series. --- This was so good, I just had to add it to the list so we can all share a mutual annoyance at how stupid Bucky was in this fic. Like is he really that clueless or is he just that stupid??? Homegirl should of had a smack down with Dot but either way I absolutely loved this fic!

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attina-the-responsible · 5 years

Text

36 Questions that Lead to Love ~*~ [Siren]

@panicked-percy

In which Attina and Panic get to know each other a little better...[takes place: sometime in early July]

[tw -- talk of death]

ATTINA: Andrina had been right: there was a lot about Panic that she didn’t know.

She had once thought that she knew most of it, if not all of it. Which was a nice feeling when it came to a significant other--she usually didn’t know them very well before she dated them. Panic had been her friend for years before they started anything. However, most of it had been a lie. Panic had used Percy’s life, obviously, to lie about his own (though, not entirely a lie, since he had lived most of those experiences alongside Percy.)

But--she wanted the truth.

Especially if she was going to tell Panic that she was a mermaid.

Which meant she had cajoled him into 36 Questions -- How to Fall in Love.

They were sitting on the couch in her apartment, cocktails on the coffee table, having just finished dinner. Attina’s painted toes buried in the cushion on Panic’s other side, her smooth legs across his lap. Her other hand held a pencil (for notes! she’d told him brightly when he’d asked) and a clipboard with the questions attached.

“Alright!” she said brightly, “first question: if you could invite anyone in the world to dinner, who would it be? I’d invite Charlie Veron. He’s a marine biologist who has discovered the most types of coral reefs and he’s just–super passionate and interesting. I’ve read all his books.”

PANIC: Panic had agreed to a number of things that he didn’t know what to do with anymore. 1. To tell all the Tritons he was a demon. 2. To ‘date’ the sisters to maybe they would let him in on their secret. 3. To talk about 36 questions that lead to love.

He hated the feeling in his chest for the first two. The last one. Well that was simple. That was something he could do without feeling like his world was collapsing.

“Gordon Ramsay, If I can either eat his food or have him taste mine well I think that would be something to write home about.” Panic answered glancing at the questions. “Would you want to be famous and what for? Nah, I wouldn’t want to be. It’s way too much pressures and eyes. It would be cool to be known as a chef but I don’t like the thought of my name, everywhere. Or well not my name but Percy’s.”

ATTINA: Attina smiled.

Gordon Ramsay was what he’d said the first time (well, the way that Percy had said it), though his answer changed slightly. And the way he answered made Tina feel awful for not realizing--how had she not realized?--that the first time she’d done this, it wasn’t with Panic?

“I mean--I’d like to be a conservationist, but no one is ever really famous for that.” She shrugged and stole the paper back, scribbling a note and then continuing.

“Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you’re going to say? Why? Eh--not really. Only if I’m ordering take out for like...everyone.” By everyone, she meant her family, of course. “Or if it is something important. Not that I have important phone calls a lot, I just wing it, usually. You?”

PANIC: A conservationist. It fit her. He imagined her as one, he imagined her helping as she wanted to. He imagined her getting out of here so she could experience it, see it, protect it. It made him smile. It made him have big dreams for her.

“Maybe you could be famous in the community. Small time famous.” Panic mused as the paper left his hands laughing as she scribbled away.

“I used to. I would be so worried I’d say the wrong thing. Sometimes it would be before in-person conversations too.” Panic explained with a shrug not even taking the paper this time just leaning over. “ What would be your perfect day?” Panic leaned back as he hummed about it. “Breakfast in bed, a late start to the morning. Fancy restaurant at night and I dunno what’s in the middle.”

ATTINA: Attina didn’t really acknowledge the ‘famous in the community’ comment, because, well--they both knew that wasn’t for her. It wasn’t going to happen. No matter what, she couldn’t leave Daddy behind, even if all her sisters left, one by one by one by one by one by one.

Attina would stay.

Because she felt obligated to, but also, because she was scared.

Her head tilted at Panic’s answer, and it made her wonder--and it made her curious. Was this because of the demon thing? Panic didn’t want people to know he was different? Or was he more shy than Attina had thought? She reserved her questions, though, they were only on four--if she didn’t find out the answer later on, she’d ask them.

“No idea what’s in the middle?” Attina raised an eyebrow. “Leave it to you to center the day around food.” She poked his thigh with her foot from where her legs were still stretched over his.

“For me? A day with my family--and you, of course. Well--okay, so--breakfast in bed, definitely. Then a lazy start to the morning, maybe a swim in the ocean. This is all taking place at a beach house. A big lunch with everyone I love. More swimming, maybe some shopping--no good day is complete without a little shopping, maybe some pampering too. Then, yeah, a nice dinner. Maybe quiet, for you and me.” She smiled at him, thought about it for a second more, and then nodded with finality.

“When--did you last sing to someone else? To yourself? Er, well--I don’t...sing that much. Well, I do, but not really. I sing when I clean sometimes or am cooking or with my sisters in the car.” She used to sing a lot more, her shoulder shrugged a little. “Yeah, haven’t serenaded anyone in a while, though,” she joked, lamely.

PANIC: Panic laughed because he knew he deserved the jab. He didnt care what happened in the middle as long as he was with people he cared about. That would be enough for him. Easily his perfect day could be swimming in between great meals.

Seeing someone he loved happy had to be part of his perfect day too. He just wasnt going to be that sappy outloud.

Panic grimaced at the thought of someone hearing him sing though. "Sing to someone probably never. I dont think you want to hear me sing. I'll just pretend to mouth the words while I shower ot something." Panic joked. "But feel free to serenade me any day." And with each word he leaned closer to her until he could steal a kiss then glanced at the paper like nothing happened. "Would you want to live to 90 with the body or mind of the 30 year old for those 60 years."

"I'd say mind. I mean it's also kind of hard to consider because of what I am. It's better to have ones mind and shift to control other forms than lose your mental strength."

ATTINA: Attina blushed and giggled as Panic leaned in for a kiss, letting it happen, the sound of it popping like bubblegum in the air.

She wasn’t going to sing for him, though. Not any time soon.

Her nose wrinkled a little and she tilted her head, listening to his answer while alaso trying to decide her own. She was--honestly a little surprised that he would say mind over body, since, from her understanding, the body was an important part of Panic’s whole...thing. But, when he explained it, it made sense. At least...she thought it did.

She pursed her lips, trying to figure out how she felt about what he’d said, because it was pragmatic, but it also got to the root of the problem: Panic’s body was not his own.

“I think--mind for me too. I mean...part of me wants to say keep the body, but I figure that’s the shallow answer. And what is the point if I don’t remember who I love?”

“Do you have a secret hunch about how you’d die?” Attina chewed her lip, brow furrowed, but she nodded too. “Yeah, I mean, I always kind of had this feeling like...I am gonna die really horribly, y’know? I don’t know why…”

She did. Her mother’s death. The way mermaids were treated in the world. The very real threat of brutal murder hanging over her head day after day.

“Maybe it’s because my sisters and I always talk about the best deaths in horror movies or something.” She laughed off the moroseness.

PANIC: Shallow was fine to him too. After all people liked being shallow. It wasn’t like Panic wasn’t happy that Percy was a good looking guy. Not that Panic would have ditched him if he wasn’t but still he liked it.

“Why is it fun to imagine or talk about the best deaths in horror movies?” The thought of it made Panic grimace. Gruesome deaths would be painful and it was defintely a way people choose to torture people in the underworld. “I dunno, being sent back would be a death of a life in a way and for a long time I imagined that I guess.” Panic explained.

ATTINA: Attina just shrugged a little at his question. She didn’t really know the answer to that. It was, more or less, a defense mechanism, she figured against the very real horrors of what her family faced.

Couldn’t say that though!

Moving on.

Listening to Panic, Attina frowned and found her hand moving over to touch his shoulder and then the hair at the base of his neck. It was such a...strange thing to think about. Honestly, Attina tried not to most days, because it still felt so...strange. Panic--a demon. Panic--coming from the Underworld. Despite being a mermaid, despite growing up in Swynlake, despite the level of fantasy she consumed--all of this felt far too fantastical for Attina.

That was why she was doing this, though. She was trying to be brave.

“Is it really that bad?” she asked softly--not really sure if she wanted the answer or not.

PANIC: Panic shrugged pursing his lips and moving his attention from his girlfriend to the ceiling. Did they want to go into it? Sure Panic had been the one to bring it up but he never shared theses things. It wasn’t something he ever dealt with. Even with Percy they didn’t talk about his past.

“Depends I guess on who you are. There are those that torture and those that are the targets.” Panic admitted hoping she would be able to tell which of them he was. He didn’t think it was that hard to tell why he had run away.

ATTINA: Attina frowned at that, and she was glad she’d taken what she’d started calling her “medicine” before coming to Panic’s. It meant the worry was a low sizzle in her stomach. The idea of torture, when not in a classic slasher film, set all her nerves on end.

She couldn’t imagine--

Except she could. All her worst nightmares were torture and death, filled with blood and scales being carved off.

Attina knew she wanted to get to know Panic’s world better--but it didn’t sound like anywhere she wanted to know. It made sense to her that he had wanted to leave. In her opinion, that was all she needed to know.

“Well, it’s a good thing you’re not there any longer, hm?” She smiled a little at him before very clearly ruffling the papers to move on. “Okay, I answered the last one first, so--your turn: Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.”

PANIC: Back to the questions and a safe topic. Panic could handle that. He preferred that in most ways. “Three things we have in common. Family values. We can both be petty as fuck sometimes. We’re both hot?” Panic stated with a grin wiggling his eyebrows as her now more willing to look at her and he was definitely having a time going back to teasing her.

“Does that count as a serious answer or do I need a real third one?”

ATTINA: Attina gasped and clucked her tongue.

“I’m not petty!” Though, this was a very unconvincing thing to say, because Attina was--very petty when she wanted to be. It just made her cheeks burn a little to realize Panic had noticed. “However, I will accept that we are both hot if only because you’re complimenting me. As long as you do mean it.” She wrinkled her nose a bit at him before looking up at the ceiling.

“Ummm, we both like to cook! We both have siblings that drive us up a wall but we’d do anything for. Is that the same as family values? Well, I think it’s different and important, but--we also both are kind of homebodies. Annnd--” we’re both magical creatures that the world hates, “--we both have a secret the rest of the world can’t know.”

She pursed her lips a little at him before looking down.

“Anyway--For what in your life do you feel most grateful? Well, that’s easy. My family. Oh! And you, of course.” Her smile was warm when she looked back up at him.

PANIC: They both had a secret they couldn't tell the world. The simple sentence still choked him up. Made his heart clench too tightly. Made his frown deepen even with the quick subject change. It still lingered.

Reaching out he gave her leg a small squeeze. He had her back no matter what her secret was.

He did however smile at her feeling grateful for him. At least that made his heart untwist a little bit. "Percy. First and foremost. Without him I wouldn't be here. Any other decision on his part and I wouldn't be. You of course. I never thought I would ever really be able to tell people about me. Freedom. Life. Family. The basic other things that make life worth living." Panic answered. "If you could change anything about the way you were raised. I wish I could have just been born a human in this world. I wish percy hadnt been sick."

ATTINA: Attina almost laughed.

She would’ve, if she hadn’t had her medication, which left her drifting like a buoy on the sea. She just rolled with the waves. Panic said: I wish I could have just been born a human in this world and Attina just felt her heart twist in her chest. The cruel irony buried beneath the medication and her empathy, which rose, round and buoyant as a balloon.

Maybe, hearing all of this should freak her out. Should make her love Panic just a little less.

It didn’t. The feeling inside her chest just got bigger and bigger.

She wanted to repeat those exact words back at him. There was a part of her, the mermaid, screeching a siren’s song in her chest: Tell him! Tell him!

“I wish I didn’t have my secret too,” she finally said. “I wish that all my sisters and I could just...be ourselves. Also, that my--mum was around for more of it.”

She cleared her throat and glanced down. Attina barely talked about her mum, and she certainly hadn’t talked about her much around Panic.

“Okay--” Attina reached for her timer. “Get ready for my life’s story. Pretty sure you know most of this already…”

“Alright, well, I was born June 22, 1991–Gemini-Cancer cusp, though I definitely lean more towards Cancer. Nine months later, almost exactly, Andrina was born. So, we’ve pretty much always been in this together. Then, Adella. Then, Arista. They were back to back, Adella when Andrina was about two. Then, Aquata was born a year or so after that. Then, Alana. Then, eventually, Ariel, but there was a bit more of a break between them. I was about eight by then. Uhm, when I was about 11-13, I was going to London in the summers for Youth Orchestra. I was first seat harpist. Won awards and such.” She popped her shoulders in a shrug.

“Then, uhm, I was in secondary–had a boyfriend when I was sixteen, he was a jerk, as most sixteen year old boys are. I was on the debate team and chess team and in band and mock trials…then, uhm, mymotherdied.” She had to stop and suck in a deep breath, looking away for a moment.

“Then, I graduated and went to university at PrideU. Once I graduated and got into the Master’s program, Andy and I moved into this apartment. I finished my Master’s three years ago? Gosh, it’s been a while. And–then I started working at Whosits and Whatsits and met you and...here I am!”

The timer went off.

“Oh, good, I was about done anyway! Your turn.”

PANIC: Panic's lips twisted into a frown at the mention of Attina's mother. He really didn’t know the story there. He hadn’t asked and she hadn’t provided more than a couple details. Which was okay with him. He wasn't going to force her to talk about it. He just needed to know the basics. Which included the fact he knew Attina had lost her Mum way too young.

He still tried to give whatever comfort he could for her. A smile on his lips. A squeeze of her leg. Giving her all his focus.

“Can you do the timer for me as well?” Panic requested before launching into his own story, he knew she hadn’t heard this story and he watched carefully if he was going in too deep.

“Um so yeah in human years if I’m honest I don’t know when I was born but it was always known what I would be and the best way to be it is to be thrust into the situation. So I grew up around other Panic demons, Pains as well.” Panic started. “I knew that I never wanted to go into it but it’s not a choice that I had so I knew I wanted to leave. It took a long time before I was able to find an escape. When I did I wasn’t going to last, only the strongest demons can stay in this world without a host and so Percy was there. For a long time he was my host without hearing his voice. But I was always determined to get stronger and in my goal to get stronger I opened my mind for Percy to slip through. They thing was I couldn’t push him back down. I like to think I couldn’t do it to him or maybe I didn’t have the energy. But we started to talk. We started to learn things about each other and we grew up like that. Tests got really easy but thankfully we both really liked cooking. It didn’t matter who was in control or if we switched in between so we went for it. We learned what we could and trained where we could. We went to school for it and we experienced half a life. Fun fact I don’t know how to drive. Percy does. I know how to swim, he doesn’t.” Panic stated simply before glancing at the time. “Then Swynlake became an option where we could maybe find out more about demons and hosts and what we could do and I didn’t know what I would find but I was hoping for something. Then I got a job at Remy’s and met you and well I couldn’t imagine being anywhere else. Demon knowledge or not.”

And the timer chimed.

“That’s my story. Have I scared you off?”

ATTINA: Attina was quiet as she listened, her brow furrowed. And she thought about the last time they’d done this. Except, it hadn’t been them. It had been Percy impersonating Panic, lying to her. Though, not lies, not exactly--he had just told her his own story, which, she supposed, in a way, was Panic’s too. But here was so much more.

She listened to it all--

And maybe, she should be scared off. There were parts of it that didn’t sit right with her, of course. Parts that she wished weren’t true, but she was learning--when you loved someone, that didn’t matter. When you loved someone, you loved all those pieces of them that were ugly or cruel or terrible. She didn’t think Panic was ugly or cruel or terrible, but she knew that others would. That he had been born into a life that he didn’t want, that there was nothing he could do about who he was or where he’d come from.

And Attina understood. She understood and all she had in her heart was empathy, growing larger and rounder and warmer the longer he spoke.

“No,” she said, shaking her head a little at him, though her voice was soft and contemplative. She meant it though, every word. “I just--wish it was different.” One of her shoulders shrugged, her cardigan slipping down. “But, I’ve spent my whole life wishing that, so it isn’t much of a difference. It just--makes me sad. What you went through. What Percy has gone through. The fact that you don’t have a choice but to rely on someone else like that. It’s awful. It’s wrong.”

PANIC: Panic watched Attina closely. Each word that he said he worried it would be something that she couldn’t handle. His life while he never thought was bad was something that could scare her off. In fact Panic was quite surprised she was handling it as well as she was.

Though when she didn’t fix her cardigan, Panic imagined that she wasn’t handling it as well as she was saying that she was handling it.

“Maybe one day we can, I can leave him. One day I can make my own form. I dunno. I’m hoping that might be the case. I want to give him that. I want to give us that.” Panic wanted nothing more than those things but he didn’t want to go back either.

ATTINA: Attina’s eyebrows went up a bit at that revelation. She hadn’t known that was possible. Not that that lack of knowledge was a surprise. Attina had never taken any demonology classes, she had never seen any reason to. Now, she was kind of kicking herself, but how could she ever predicted she would not only date, but fall in love, with a demon?

“You can do that?” she asked, sitting up some. “How?”

She couldn’t help how--hopeful she sounded because...it really sucked, having to share Panic with Percy. To know that no matter how comfortable Percy was with all of it--Panic was still possessing him. There was no getting around that.

PANIC: Panic couldnt help the laugh that escaped his lips at how excited Tina got. He didn't blame her. He had wished for it too.

"In theory I could." Panic started because he didnt want to get her Hope's up. He would try and he would keep trying though. " right now I dont have enough power or strength to maintain a form on my own so most likely we would need something that increased that power. Or something that would tether me to Percy without needing to use his body. That's why I ended up in the hospital. There's this talisman that can control pretty much any demon. If percy got it. In theory he would be able summon me and well control me but I'd be here and using that power. It might be impossible for us to summon me specifically if I was stuck down in the underworld without an advanced sorcerer and I dont really want to trust that to someone I dont know. But that's everything my research led me to."

ATTINA: Attina frowned again when Panic mentioned the hospital. How horrible that had been. Her heart clenched just thinking about him in that hospital bed. Him and--Percy too. She hated seeing the people she loved hurting like that. In any way, really, her heart too soft for things like that.

Her brow furrowed as she listened and tried to--comprehend.

It was so out of the realm of everything she knew. She may be a magical creature and live in a magical town, but Attina had always tried to live as normal a life as possible. It was mostly fear that made her do this but--

Why wouldn’t she be afraid? That all sounded so complicated and terrifying.

She sighed and nodded after a moment.

“I don’t want you to get hurt. You--or Percy, but...it would be nice, wouldn’t it? Us, together, without...all the rest? It’d make so much of this less complicated.”

PANIC: Panic let out a breath of laughter. It would make everything easier, he couldn’t help but imagine the day him and Percy were looking at one another face to face. Or well Percy’s face to Percy’s face or whatever face Panic could mimic.

It was a nice thought.

“It’s something I want I promise. I just have to figure out how to do it safely. Until then are you willing to have me like this?” Was she willing to love the demon and what it was to be a demon.

ATTINA: A year ago, even a few months ago, Attina would’ve said no. She would’ve been terrified of what it meant--both for Panic to be a demon and for them to be dating. She was still terrified, that hadn’t changed, but something had. Love made her brave. Or at least, more brave than she’d ever felt (she was still more or less a coward). It was much more terrifying to think of living life all alone. Of going through it all without someone by her side.

Now that she had Panic, nothing would make her want to let him go.

“Of course,” she told him softly, smiling at him. She leaned up and kissed him once and then pulled back. “We got wayyy off track.” She giggled once and shook her head before looking back down at the paper that’d fallen onto the floor. Squinting, she read the next question.

“If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality, what would it be?”

#bdrppanic #siren #fake husband #otp: i will #otp: apple of my eye #otp: i know

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asynca · 6 years

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I'm in a really happy relationship. But i've just started falling for another girl. and its dumb af bc I don't want her- my current girlfriend has been my big gay awakening and I adore her and love her and I want to be with her so why the fuck is my heart leaping whn I see this other chick??? how do I make it stop?? it makes me feel dirty and disloyal bc I dont want it!! idk this is probably like 100% normal in relationships but ive been hardcore single and in the closet so idk how to cope

This is reasonably normal. In any long term relationship (especially super long term, like a marriage) you will periodically be attracted to other people. You may even fall for someone else.

There is nothing wrong with having the feeling or recognising it - it’s only wrong if you, against the wishes of your partner, pursue that feeling.

Once you’ve recognised you’re attracted to/have feelings for someone else, you need to immediately stop in place and decide what you want. Do you want to pursue this person? No? Then you need to make some serious and immediate changes to the way you interact with them to prevent complicating your existing relationship.

Usually, I’m going to recommend you significantly decrease your contact with this person. If possible, stop interacting with them altogether except if you are around others (and if possible, even when you are around others). If this isn’t possible, decrease your communication with this person during times you need to be in contact with them. Don’t give yourself the opportunity to fawn over them, be impressed by how funny they are, gaze at how attractive they are, or be in any way chatty. Be friendly and polite, but stick a big wall up with regard to anything you wouldn’t reasonably tell a colleague.

If necessary (for example, if you were already friends with this person, close to them, etc), you may need to tell them what’s going on, and thank them for understanding that your current relationship is important to you.

Whether or not you tell your partner is up to you. Personally, for me, it depends how far I got into the ‘feelings’. I wouldn’t tell my wife if I found myself attracted to some random at a party, for example. I wouldn’t pursue it anyway and there’s no need to upset her. However, if you’ve gotten quite far into your feelings it may be worth discussing it with your partner. Think long and hard about how you plan to do that if you do.

Next is the hardest part: you’re going to have to stop thinking about this other person. If you catch yourself fantasizing about her, thinking about conversations with her, remembering fun times - stop. Acknowledge you had the thought, repeat to yourself that you love your current partner and that fantasizing needs to stop, and deliberately change what you are thinking about. You may need to do this constantly and multiple times during the day to start with, but it becomes easier over time.

It’s absolutely possible to prevent yourself from getting deeper into strife, and, over time, you will fall out of feelings with this other person and hopefully your relationship will still be in tact.

TL;DR: it’s completely normal to have feelings for someone else while you’re in a relationship, but you need to play an active role in short-circuiting those feelings and working actively, intentionally against them if you want them to stop and you want to keep your current relationship. You’re not disloyal at all for being attracted to someone - in many ways, you can’t help it. You’re only disloyal if you don’t make the appropriate effort to set that feeling aside, move past it, and maintain your current relationship.

#ask auntie asy #love #relationships #cheating #anonymous #askauntieasy

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mazojo · 5 years

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Let’s Play

Sooo if you saw some of my previous posts, you know I've kinda gotten into webtoons and I binge-read another one called Let’s Play and I Looveeee. I will do a spoiler-ish review as of the chapters that have come out so far and and all the images and stuff included are from Mongie, the author of this baby.

Plot

So the plot basically revolves around Sam, who works for her fathers company coding and working on programming but her true passion is creating video games, more specially indie games. She creates this game called Ruminate and its all fine and dandy until super famous youtube Marshall Law plays it and jokingly says it kinda sucks so people and trolls go leave hate on her account so her developer score in this indie publishing website is almost 0.

Sam is disappointed nay this turn of events and tries contacting the company to help her score as its flawed but unfortunately nothing happens. Then we find out super Marshall Law is moving next door to Sam and she flops. He then later realizes how he messed up and as they start becoming friends (slowly but surely!) he is fixed on making it up to her becouse he is a cinnamon roll. There are also other characters involved, from Sam’s gaming crew which is hilarious, to her super hot and sexual tension boss, Charles who is trying to help her grow as a person and as a worker and we also have Lincoln which kinda has a crush in Sam and they’ve been friends for quite a while as Sam helped him overcome his dads death.

The story is funny and filled with great moments, treating also mental health topics and the struggles of Sam discovering she may or may not have feelings for the hotties mentioned above ^^.

Characters

As I did with my Kiznaivers and I Love Yoo reviews, ill list the characters from my favourite to my least (I love them all so it sounds so bad to say the least!) including a song that reminds me of them. I won't list them all as their are many as you can see in the picture above but definitely the main ones <33

Sam

Angels - Owl City

Sam. is. such. a. mood. Like honestly, if you ever wish to know me and who I am as a person and how I work, read this and I am the literal reincarnation of Sam loll. She is very nerdy and suffers from anxiety, sometimes leading her to have asthma attacks. She really cares about those close to her and although she is quite shy and introverted, doesn't doubt the chance to jump in when someone she cares about is in danger. I have no words to describe her but I think I’ve found my long lost drawing form character.

Marshall

Lucky - Britney Spears

Yes, I choose a Britney Spears song for him, is it amazing? Y e s, do I regret it? N o p e. Marshall is just adorableeee. Like he is the literal reincarnation of a puppy and he is much more complex than what it seems? Yeah he’s got this bubbly exterior to himself but deep down he is dealing with depression and anxiety but hides it from anyone, to the point of literally breaking down. He is trying his best at making everyone happy and likes video games and ahhhh ??? I Stan Marshall.

Lincoln

Livin’ on a Prayer - Bon Jovi

Lincoln the embodiment of the dad friend, there I said it. He has such a pure soul and heart and protective aura around those he loves and he is so soft??? He struggled with his dads death and takes care of his brother (which makes a part of the guild Sam is with). He is a little oblivious but other than that Link must be protected at all cost and hopefully finds happiness at the end of the comic becouse if he doesn't I will riot.

Charles

Rude - MAGIC!

Charles is your typical cold but sexy filled with sexual tension moments boss character. He is Sam’s boss and what I love most about Charles is how he wants others to succeed, pushing them their limits to reach their full potential, something I think its quite admirable. Honestly in comparison to the other two boys I haven't connected much with Charles but I still really like his character and hopefully we are able to see more of him in the future!

Monika

Power - Little Mix

The image pretty much describes Monika lol. I decided to include her becouse although she is kindaaaa the antagonist, I feel like she isn't really that bad and honestly, her character is quite compelling. She is Marshall’s girlfriend and a beauty guru, so half of the time she talks about makeup-is things I quite honestly dont understand lolll. However she really cares about those near her and (cues alpha female aura) does her best to protect Marshall becouse she really does likes him, but due to the fame and their worlds they both manage, it makes things complicated at times. I hope she doesn't turn evil or something like that becouse I truly think she is good (or at least up till now) and hopefully she gets a happy ending too ~.

Ships

Sam x Marshall

This was actually so hard to choose! Because I honestly ship Sam with Lincoln just as much but there’s just something about this couple that I just gahhh! They have this chemistry working over them and they complement each other so well too! Like Sam is very perceptive and a good listener while Marshall just fakes a smile every time and I believe she will be the one to notice something is wrong first <33

Sam x Lincoln

AHhHHH I love Link so much?? And how he protects Sam and cares about her is so freaking adorable? I think their mutual support and understanding is what makes it one of the best and Sam clearly has some mixed feelings about him that she repressed for a while in order not to tarnish their friendship but now she knows that he likes her so ??? I hope Link and Sam end happy because they both have to be p r o t e c t e d.

Sam x Charles

As I mentioned before, I don't think I can compare Marshall and Link’s relationship to the one with Charles considering they have had more time together, I believe in the next chapters we will get to see their relationship increase. He is very protective and does whats best for Sam and they have this tension around them which gets Sam all flustered and its really cute. Its not my main ship but I’ll wait and see how things progress in the future.

Monika x Marshall

Okay so this is not one of the main ships and people often don't like this couple but I thought it was important to mention! As I said before, I think Monika is quite a complex character and they are both dealing with their own worlds and problems which may make it hard for the relationship to work and not seem toxic. Still, they both care deeply about the other and I know in the end, they would want to see the other happy soooo we’ll see how it ends ^^

Final Thoughts

I absolutely adoree this Webtoon! I’ll try to review the chapters as they go out like I love yoo giving my impressions and what nots. Here are some theories that I think may happen in future chapters too;

- I don't think I mentioned it but Marshall is really good at drawing and its kinda his passion but he hides it from everyone due to fearing failure. I think Sam in one way or another will encourage him to pursue his dream eventually drawing them closer, and as she needs an artist to help her with her next game, I am guessing Marshall will be perfect for that spot :333

- Charles will definitely appear more I think, most of the “romantic” moments have been with Link followed by Marshall leaving the Charles Stans in need of their baby <33

- I think Angela (one of Sam’s guild member and friend) likes Link?? I didn't talk about her much but in one of the latest chapters she gets flustered by him and I am not really sure? I'll definitely be on the look for that.

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