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suguru-getos · 7 months

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୨・┈﹕✦﹕ Kinktober Day 10﹕✦﹕┈・୧

gojo satoru x f!reader -> hate sex

event masterlist

summary: you were the second strongest sorcerer to exist, always having tosses and turns against gojo satoru until the latter just sees you losing yourself to powers a little and decides to transform your ‘pulling each other’s leg’ relationship into something more.

warnings: roasting, both us and satoru are just talking shit about each other. <3 semi-public sex, talking about curses and cursed energy, implied degradation. dub!con-> consentual but not specifically talked about. lemme know if i missed anything (not beta’d we die like suguru) :(

a/n: guys i got carried awayyyyy lmaooo 😭 i was too busy giving this a build up tbh i wanted to make this a chapterwise slow burn story instead so i wasnt even wanting to let them fuck kekeke 🤭 i hope yall enjoy it mwah 💋

there was one thing which had been thoroughly consistent in your career as a sorcerer, which was satoru gojo’s intervention. despite trying your hardest, he would manifest himself near you in some form or the other. it also made sense since he was basically the god of the sorcerer community with powers and roots of his clan spreading across. the solo head of the gojo family, their fortunes, the strongest, arrogant — pathetically cocky man that lumes his presence near you more times than you’d like it to.

“the brat has eaten a finger, i don’t see the point of not exorcising and killing him.” one of the higher ups commented in the meeting where all the sorcerers were invited, even the scarce special grades. “i don’t see why he should be killed? sukuna’s vessel is something we can take advantage of. we can ensure the curse dies when he has swallowed all of the fingers.” gojo commented back, it was not something anyone could deny or go against. his tone was a threat enough.

you could agree to this, but not having tried something like this makes you antsy. “and who will take responsibility?” you raised a brow. glancing at the blind-folded man who was smirking with ease. “why me of course. unless— you wanna be a disappointment and try this yourself.”

in the jujutsu community, you were a well established prodigy, second to only gojo satoru. stronger than yuuta, stronger than any of them. but still— ‘second to gojo satoru’ oh well, that comment had a hard burn. you wouldn’t back down either.

“nah, being a nanny suits you. i haven’t forgotten the brat from the zenin clan after all.” gojo hated when anyone brought up what megumi’s fate could be… but you couldn’t care less. that’d shut him up.

“come on, don’t be like that y/n chan! you don’t have an ounce of motherly instincts. do the world a favor and don’t have kids.” he chuckled, murmuring under his breath. “not that you’d get a chance to with a face like that.”

the people in the meeting were stunned, they were usually quite used to the fact that you and satoru throw jabs at each other at any moment necessary. “do us a favor too. stop making any woman you see a mother and tone the thirst down? the last thing i wanna see is more of you because you couldn’t keep it in your pants.”

“SILENCE!” the higher ups roared, and satoru giggled, leaning back against the wall. this could continue down further. but this isn’t the right time. you rolled your eyes again. ah well, if he is willing to take the responsibility it is all good.

when the meeting ended, you were the first one to leave. meetings with the higher ups were always draining. more than the actual curses. your powers were the complete opposite of satoru. you could absorb curse energies. like a black hole. radiating them back when needed. that made you go the through insurmountable negativity but it was powerful nonetheless. gojo’s infinity could also pose no problems for you to break into. but satoru gojo had infinite curse energy and you were a sponge. interesting…

“why are your panties in a twist?” satoru asked you, looming in front of you too close. “personal space?” you scoffed, leaning back. “awh, pErSoNaL sPaCe” satoru chuckles, “don’t tell me you really think i don’t see through your false pretentious ass.” he leaned in again, ugh— shameless.

“the problem with you is you think it’s impossible for women to not fall over your dick.” you smiled back, a sarcastic, annoyed smile. “well, it is impossible —” he shrugs, as if it was a matter of fact thing.

you are not dumb, you admit that he is ethereal. he is beautiful & perhaps the prettiest man ever. you’re also too prideful to say it to his face, ever. satoru— does the opposite, he finds you so pretty he can’t act right around you. so he irritates you for your attention.

things went by a swing when you suddenly got a call from ichiji. your conversation with him left discontinued. you were busy with missions & he was busy, mentoring yuuji, megumi & nobara. you knew that there are new first years in tokyo university & the vessel was one of them. gakuganji from kyoto tech: where you worked and reported, asked you to go have a glance, check up on the first years.

you entered the university of jujutsu tokyo, walking towards the ground where maki, panda and the kids were there. you knew satoru was nearby, his curse energy presence is loud & clear. perhaps as a silent way of keeping threats off the campus. “y/n san!” maki smirked, walking towards you and launching the exact attack that you taught her, you smiled, proud. “you have perfected it! wow!”

“salmon.” inumaki hummed, while nobara & yuuji curiously asked megumi about you.

yuuji: who’s she? she’s pretty! naa~ fushiguro?

megumi: that’s y/n. a special grade sorcerer. like gojo sensei.

megumi keeps your introduction brief & curt. “what? so cool! she must be insanely strong! is she stronger than gojo sensei?”

“don’t kid me yuuji kun, no one is stronger than me.” gojo’s voice echoed as he came down the stairs. while you were hearing their conversation too, you didn’t deem it necessary to step in. unlike— someone.

“ah, y/n chan! ohayo!” satoru waved his hand at you, grinning. you smiled back, all fake, “ohayo megumi chan! ohayo yuuji, ohayo nobara!” oh god you make him wanna pin you against the nearest wall and devour you until your sass is gone.

yuuji awkwardly whispers to megumi, “they don’t like each other huh?” megumi whispere back, “not one bit.”

“jaa~ why are you here?” satoru asked, raising a brow and tone turning serious, hinting he meant business. “just you know, wanted to meet the students” you smirked, and even though satoru knows exactly who sent you here, he trusts you enough. “o-kkay!” he grins, teleporting beside you and whispering gravely in your ear. “any reason why you look extra pretty today?” the compliment sent shivers down your spine. “maybe you haven’t gotten laid in a while” you roll your eyes, emboldening your response. no way you’ll be acting coy hmph!

the rest of the day passed by in a haze, where you were talking to yaga and satoru & you were being a nuisance to each other. then…. yuuji’s death happened & you got to know higher ups were behind it. insurmountable rage flew through every single artery of yours as disappointment overtook you. the community was rotten & you know satoru would’ve been adversely affected by the news of yuuji’s death. even so, you didn’t want to pose a bothersome presence when he was necessarily plotting a plan to kill the higher ups.

the next thing was the curses attacking the jujutsu grounds, yuuji was alive & there was a baseball tournament satoru sneakily organized. things seemed alright. only you were busy tracking hanami & mahito. of course you were accompanied by nanami throughout.

the next meet with satoru was coincidental, he was assigned a mission in korea along with you, and you both met at the tokyo airport. “areh~ y/n chan!” he beamed, walking towards you where your lack of reaction concerned him. you had been— a menace these last few months. curses had been falling and you have been absorbing their energies. almost negatively affecting you. “eia~ you stink so bad.” satoru commented again, to which you again, were silent. he hated it, your own energy almost has no scent of it’s own. satoru was famous as the strongest, similarly you were renouned as the merciless sorcerer who has no account for any emotion. when you didn’t reply anymore, satoru glared and decided he can touch you. hands clasping your shoulder, “ayo, talk to me right now.”

you looked at him, “oh, you were saying something? i thought there were was a mosquito buzzing around me. my bad.” you are at least mocking him. he smiles at that, “you know i think what you deserve is to release all that suppressed cursed energy you’ve absorbed.” he was meaner this time, because satoru gojo was showing his care. hands gripping your wrist and pulling you close to him. “and you know the only sorcerer who can take it? me.”

that was satoru’s silent confession, and he thought he was very smug showing no emotion whatsoever to you. but his eyes— shouldn’t have worn glasses. “no thanks, i’ll use it on a special grade.” you replied. there was an immediate frown on satoru’s face. why are you wanting to keep it together so bad! oh he hates you so much- he loves you so much.

the flight to korea was quick & you two got out, taking your way to the nearest jujutsu school. as suspected by satoru, you and him were attacked mid way, and just when satoru was about to attack, they came for you. it all made sense, they want the special grades gone. one by one. “now’s a good time! go on- show me what—” before satoru could complete his sentence, you absorbed them one by one. “NO!” he snarled, why are you not letting the absorbed energy out.

you alone, could manage to defeat everything. except you didn’t feel like you anymore. that’s it. satoru has had enough. he stomped towards you, gritting his teeth and holding your face with a single hand, seething at your puckered lips. “stop this, stop being such a fucking bitch to yourself. can’t you see what’s happening?”

the distance between your lips and his was lessening with every sentence he spoke, and before you could reply, satoru leaned in, stealing a rough, angry and demanding kiss. that— took you off guard. eradicating all your haze and bringing you back to reality. “you need to be shown you can’t do everything alone, that you’re weak.” satoru’s words stung, but what he meant was he wanted you to lean onto him.

making you straddle his waist, to which you complied by wrapping your legs around him as he leaned you against the nearest tree. “do i fucking look like someone you’d fuck just like that.” you squirmed, though it is futile because satoru’s eyes calm you down, ground you. “shut up.” is all he said, leaning in and making his way for the sweet spot on your neck, he takes his time, nibbling and giving your sensitive skin hickeys until you awarded him with a delectable moan. “ah, there is it. didn’t know someone like you could have soft spots.” he smirked, feeling the cursed energy absorbed within you sunken and calm.

“i don’t have it for twigs like you.” you replied back, “and i’d never be one of the numbers in your body count.” satoru smiled at that, “damn, you really do consider me characterless don’t you?” oh thank heavens you wore a dress, his hands wandered off and cupped your clothed cunt, your gasps betraying your words along with the wetness in your body.

“you’re soaking, little one.” satoru cooes, “besides, i might look it but i do have some standards. won’t fuck anyone just for the sake of it.” he reiterated, rubbing your clothed clit and soaking in all your expressions.

“not for you…” your retort was awarded with a punishing pinch on your sensitive bundle of nerves. “you’re so fiesty you know that?” satoru grins, “been dreaming about fucking you since years.” satoru’s sudden honesty was taking you off guard.

“then keep dreaming, asshole.” you absent mindedly grinded against his hands, despite what words might say. “oh no, look at a hypocrite.” he unzipped himself, and knows full well, you could back hand him like an actual twig if you could. infinity was off, satoru was not using any force & yet, you didn’t resist.

eyes lingering against his as satoru leaned in, kissing you roughly, shoving his tongue in & making you cry out at the thrust of his cock balls deep. without giving you any time to recover, he started nailing him deep inside you. the way your body shamelessly moaned, satoru couldn’t help but groan. “look at you, all this power, and yet you can’t help but take me like a submissive little bitch in heat huh?”

“strongest sorcerer in the world & that’s what he dreams of? the opportunity to fuck?” you degraded him back, “like a dog in a rut?” you clicked your tongue, giving into a mewl when his thrusts brushed against your g-spot.

your pussy was clamping around his cock for dear life, and by the looks of it, both you and satoru were close. “i won’t let you cum if you don’t release all that pent up, absorbed curse energy.” satoru snarled, fingers jolting down to rub at your puffy clit.

“shut up; i- need to be prepared for the worst.” you replied back, whimpering out.

“it’s killing the essence of you.” satoru said the usual. but he said it in a way that made your eyes soften. it was clear he does not want that. “do it for this mission, i’ll handle everything.” he replied again, thrusts getting sloppier.

what you could do in return was just nod meekly. you still didn’t agree fully but god you wanted to cum. “gonna cum inside you, don’t be a bitch about it, we’d get you a plan b.” you rolled your eyes, not saying anything and clamping out, hands scratching his undercut as you tipped off the edge.

your orgasm raked through your body, making satoru also whine at the clamping, shooting hot ropes of cum into your womb. “that’s it my little special grade.” he panted heavily, seemingly relaxed.

now that you both did end up fucking, you wanted to avoid him. “nuh uh, don’t do that.” satoru gently pulled out, leaning in and kissing your cheek, kissing all over your face until all your doubts melted. oh satoru will make sure you’ll be alright. even if it means fucking the thoughts out of you. and even if it means hovering around you like a lost puppy until you date him.

#gojo satoru #gojo thirst #gojo smut #jjk thirst #jjk smut #jjk x reader #gojo x reader #jjk x reader smut #gojo x reader smut #gojo x reader thirst #jjk x reader thirst #jjk kinktober #kinktober 2023

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obm-avenquire · 1 year

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Obey Me! Seven Minutes In Heaven Hell

[I’m honouring my rotten god awful roots from hell. Put up with it. I hope this gives someone whiplash. I am writing this both as a joke and with complete sincerity and i wont be explaining myself if you get it you get it if you dont then i hope youll find it entertaining anyway. I used my own deviantart for 2012 for reference for this]

✧─── ･｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

Another day, another party in the Devildom.

You have no idea how any of them have energy for all this - it feels like every week someone will pull some cause for celebration out of thin air and suddenly they’ve hired a catering company and a truckload of helium balloons. Of course, Diavolo - fuelled by his unending fear of missing out and need for enrichment - enables it every time, doing everything he can to get himself and everyone else you know invited. Which is…fine, you like seeing them all. In moderation. At none noisy crowded events. Ah, well. Such is the burden of a dating sim protagonist. Slumber parties at the castle are a little less high maintenance at least.

You’re pulled from your thoughts when Asmodeus calls your name, waving you over with Demonus-flushed cheeks before dragging you away from the balcony and back into the big guest room-turned-common-room-sleeping-area. You definitely think there’s a better way to phrase that, but you barely have time to think when Asmo is pushing you to sit down in the collective circle (his strength always surprises you, and he’s maybe just a little too tipsy to regulate it properly), pressing a kiss on your cheeks before running off to herd together the rest of the group.

You look around the circle, giving Satan an affirming but vague nod that he returns with an equally innocuous smile, which you accept as you always do and go back to your usual little headcount. Belphegor was dozing on the sofa, threatening to sprawl over Satan (who was ‘gently’ repositioning him whenever necessary), Mephistopholes (who had invited himself) was preaching his very special gospel to Beelzebub at the snack table while Asmodeus did whatever he could to wrangle the younger away because his plate was basically just a tower of snacks at this point and he could always get more later so if he would just pleeeeaaaaasssee-

You stop paying attention, instead giving Simeon and Raphael a little wave as they walk in.

“Welcome back,” You shuffle over slightly to make space for the two of them, Simeon sitting down next to you as Raphael decides to stand rigidly slightly off to the side just a little behind the sofa, and just…stay there. Well, whatever makes him comfortable, you guess. “Did Luke arrive safe?”

“He did, thankfully,” Simeon smiles, tucking his phone into the pockets of his trousers, “I can’t believe Serun broke all their bones and had to be hospitalised again. I feel awful not being able to visit, but, well…” He sighs, shrugging, “He wanted to go himself, and insisted he could manage, so…You know how he i-”

“What? I only came because I was promised melon cake!” You’re not sure where Thirteen popped up from, but she’s already on the armchair in the corner, kicking her legs over the armrests as she rolls her eyes. “What a waste of time.”

“Oh! Well, he still finished that, actually, so-” There’s a distinctive arcane shink sound that cuts Simeon off mid sentence. “Now, Raphael, put the spear away, you can’t do that here-” Ever the stickler for manners, it seems. Oh well. Not your problem.

“Hey, so I’ve been meaning to ask.” Thirteen raises her eyebrows at your voice, pupils knife-like and theatrically bitchy in the dim candlelight. “Why are you covered in soot.”

“Well,” She scoffs, clicking her tongue, “Since someone-” She glares at Solomon from across the room, who smiles very nicely and innocently through his conversation with Barbatos- “Decided to ‘dismantle’-” She does incredibly heavy and repeated air quotes with her fingers, “My special little bomb boy it exploded all wrong!”

“I understand completely. I’m sorry someone would ever do something so awful to you, you don’t deserve that even slightly.” She snorts, balling up the tissue she was using to wipe the ashes off her forearm and throws it at your head. It disintegrates in midair before so much as making contact, and you squint over in the sorcerer's direction. He’s not even looking your way, and Barbatos whispers something you can’t make out to him as Thirteen groans and throws up her hands in frustration, sliding into what must be an incredibly uncomfortable position. It doesn’t seem to bother her, though, and she picks at her nails grumpily. Oh well!

“-Stop complainin’ already, would it really kill ya to join in?” Mammon is doing everything in his power to pull Levi through the door by the collar of his coat, but the younger seems to be trying to retract his own head into his shirt like a turtle to try and get out of it.

“You’re killing me you’re the worst and I hate youandIhopeeverythingbadeverhappenstoyoua-”

“Yeah yeah whatever. Shut up and sit.” Mammon slings his arm over Levi’s shoulder, dragging him down into the circle just as Lucifer and Diavolo finally come back from whatever it was they were getting done.

“Lucifer, don’t make that face!” Diavolo nudges his bestest of friends, who looks particularly miserable, even as Barbartos silently refills his glass before they all, too, sit to join, the prince and his right hand man on the final empty sofa, the butler instead choosing to kneel neatly a little off to the side from Mammon and Levi. Satan adeptly shoves Belphegor upwards at just the right timing for Beelzebub to sit down (his twin slumps right back into his shoulder). Mephistopholes complains that there isn’t a proper place to sit til Mammon trips him and he ungracefully tries to pass it off as deciding to sit on the floor as Thirteen barks a sharp laugh at him.

A pleasant hum of conversation settles through the room, Asmodeus stumbling into hugging Solomon, whispering something between the invocation trio that you can’t quite make out before spinning around and clapping his hands together (cutely. It’s important to emphasise that he did this so so cutely) to get everyone’s attention.

“E---veryone!!!” He waits a few seconds for silence, shooting a glare at whoever dares to continue in the wake of this very very important announcement. “It’s time for a very special game! Have we all heard of 7 minutes in heaven?” He bounces on the tips of his feet in excitement despite the lukewarm reception. “Okay well that’s a mostly no then I guess- Honestly! I know it’s a human world thing, but really?” He pouts, and you note that Diavolo’s visible excitement has increased exponentially already.

“Allow me to explain,” Solomon cuts in, confirming your suspicion that he’d been somehow roped into this. “Two or more participants are selected - in our case by drawing lots - to go into a closet or equivalent and do whatever they like for 7 minutes.” Everyone seems a lot more attentive, suddenly. “Ah, of course, we’ll be taking magic precautions to make sure that there’s no cheating, and certainly no one breaking into the closet before time is up,” He grins, clearly enjoying this already.

“The heck.” Mammon grumbles, oddly fidgety all of a sudden, “There ain’t even a closet in here,” Leviathan nods aggressively. He’s sweating.

“Hm? Oh! That won’t be a problem, haha! Barbatos was kind enough to offer to help out with that,” The aforementioned butler steps aside to reveal a simple wooden door on the wall that decidedly hadn’t been there earlier. “We even made sure it was sound-proofed! You know, just in case.”

“What a curious game! Shall we start right away?” Diavolo beams, inadvertently cutting off Mephistopholes, who’d just opened his mouth to no doubt complain that this sort of juvenile and inappropriate game had no place at a gathering with the Devildom’s one and only prince.

“Yes!! Everyone write your name on a piece of paper, okay?” Asmo begins handing out paper and pens to everyone, shushing any complaining he meets. “You don’t have to play! It just means you’re boring and no fun and that you’ll never get a chance like this again.”

Better write your name, then. You’d hate to miss out.

You watch as Barbatos collects everyone’s paper slips, dropping them into a glass bowl and shaking periodically to shuffle them well. You immediately lose track of yours, so you figure that it’s worked. After what feels like a slightly inordinate amount of time, everyone seems to have put their name in the bowl - sure, some were more…begrudging or in need of convincing than others, but that’s normal! Anyways-

“Oooo I’ve been waiting for this all evening!” Asmodeus grabs the bowl, tap-tap-tapping along the rim for effect, perfectly manicured nails making a pleasant ASMR-esque tink noise. “Right, first u-”

“Uhm, how do- how do we know you’re, uh, not rigging this?” Asmo whips his head around to stare open-mouthed at Levi.

“Excuse me? I would never-”

“Mm, there’s no guarantee though, is there?” Asmodeus pouts at Satan, grumbling something about being personally offended and making sure to snitch next time Satan asks him for a favour.

“Fine! Since I’m so untrustworthy and awful-” The smile is switched back on as he saunters over to you, swishing the bowl around carefully before holding it out to you. “Why don’t you pick? No one will complain then, right?”

The silence in the room means yes, presumably.

“Go on hun! Don’t be nervous-” He winks, and your mouth quirks into a smile to humour him, carefully reaching into the bowl for two slips of paper, pulling them out and carefully unfolding them to reveal-

✧─── ･｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

[As is tradition, I'll be uploading the individual 'endings' as I write them :) I'll be putting a poll up on my account for who to write first (within reason, I don't think tumblr will let me put up enough options to cover everyone) so feel free to suggest people in the replies/tags too!! there will be no luke option becuz i dont know how to put hardware destroying malware in clickable links yet sory :( feel free to simulate the experience urself tho!!]

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scara-hater · 1 year

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Hi this is my first time requesting. Can I request cyno,Thoma,Tighnari, and Itto reacting to finding out you have not been sleeping properly and eating at all only every tiny portions. And the reader didn’t want them to find out.

Sorry if it’s a little complicated I’ve just been having this problem lately and don’t know what to do about it. And none of my family have found out about it.

Thank you so much for your content I love it and will always read it when I’m feeling down

I hope you are doing okay! If there is anything else you’d like to request let me know! Sending my aggressive care!

Not proofread!

Warnings: minimal eating on reader’s end, you literally don’t sleep, my writing.

—

Secrets never stay hidden.

Cyno

You aren’t sure what provoked this change in mentality, but you can feel that it’s slowly affecting you.

Like a poison, it seems to take over your body more each day. Your portions in eating have plummeted immensely, barely able to eat so much as a bite.

And It’s been weeks. You don’t want to burden others with an issue that is clearly your own, So deciding this was the best option, you act as if nothing is different.

“Y/n”

Startled, your paperwork is now ruined, “Oh! Haha, you scared me.” Putting the pen down, you raise your head to look at Cyno, “why are you awake.”

Looking at him confused, you point to the writing beneath you with your eyes. “I have a few things I need to do before I sleep, honey.” Leaning into your seat, you let out a deep exhale.

“Simple work can wait for sunrise, and stop calling me that.” “Not a chance.”

“Fine, then allow me to make you something at least. I can’t promise it’ll be any good, but it’s better than overexerting yourself with nothing to replenish that energy.”

Closing your eyes, you call out as he walks further form your position, “Not necessary, I’m not hungry.” Continue it your previous task at hand, you assume he’s out of earshot.

But he’s just glaring at you scribbling mindlessly and begins to argue, “you haven’t eaten.”

“Cyno, please.” Placing your hand on the bridge of your nose.

“Y/n, you have been deceiving me for quite some time, do not act as if you are well enough to take care of yourself.” You pause, eyes widen for a moment then silence blankets the room.

Inhaling through his teeth, his demeanour relaxes, “I apologize I didn’t see it sooner, but please don’t feel the need to take it all on.” Taking the stacks of documentation and putting it aside, he takes your hand.

“I will not allow your health to be neglected further, lets eat even if it’s small. And by chance you cannot sleep, lay with me at the least.”

He stalks you now to ensure you are taking care of yourself.

Tighnari

You spent countless nights awake, the stress of life has kept your stress running. This throbbing feeling in your eyes is less than pleasant, and it feels like everything is a a hassle to accomplish. The thought of a full meal leaves you uneasy as you are too preoccupied indulging in your mind.

You didn’t know it would be this bad.

Had you known, you would not have mentions to your dear Tighnari that your sleep was off. It was said in passing, but you promised it would get better soon. Telling him to not worry about something so silly and to relax.

But how could he?

He watched your state worsen, you grew weaker and your body is losing it’s physical ability to function. Especially the last couple of days. Your head will nod off as you try to keep it in place, and you seem to be in a state of delusion. You forget to eat, or tell him you can’t because it makes you nauseous.

He’s worried.

“.. Y.. Y/n.. Y/N!” Fingers snap in your face as your vision snapped open. “Ah! I’m awake.” Gaining sometime of consciousness you see your fennec friend knelt to your level, “You said you’ve been sleeping better, are you lying?” “Of course not” leaning back and crossing your arms, you look up as if to prove something. “I’m fine.. and you should mind your own business!.”

How stubborn you are, he thought.

Sighing, he stands up and extends his arm out infront of you. “Well? come on. You and I both know this will end with me dragging you bed if you don’t listen.” Shaking his wrist for you to grab him.

“Fine.”

he quickly snatches your hand and pulls to you the bedroom. Face determined, he messes up the blankets and pillows into a nest-like appearance before he proudly smiles and pats the spot next to him. He totally is like a little fox.

As you lay down, you see he’s on side staring at you, “what?” Your soft voice makes his tail wag and his face graces a smile, “I’m glad you’re taking care of yourself, even if it’s just this one time.”

Scooting closer to your body, he cradles your figure in hopes to promote your tired state. “I’ll be here when you wake up, and make you something to eat, okay?”

“If you so much as close your mouth one millimetre again, will find another way to feed you, even if it’s painful.”

Itto

He’s so stupid I’m sorry. He forgets you’re just a tiny human, and you don’t have extended limitations.

You’re tired and you don’t have the energy. Work has kept you hostage for hours, and seems to give no mercy when it came to giving you a break.

So when you finally get a day off, you planned on sleeping it away.

But looks like the Arataki idiot Oni Itto wanted to see you.

“YY/NNNNN! My baby, my angel, my-“ bursting though the door of your house, he yells seemingly as loud as he can on. Is he doing this on purpose?

With a groan you sit up to see the giant of a man smiling wide at you. “What is it?” Your hair’s a mess, and your house clothes wrinkled, you glare at Itto for disturbing your one day of peace. “Woah woah woah, you look horrible! What got my cutie all messed up?” Leaning down to in September your state further. Oh he really wants to get hit, you thought. Taking a deep breath, you let it out in hopes to ease your growing irritation,

“Please Itto, another day. I haven’t-“ “ y/nnnn Pweaase can we go out today, pretty pretty pleeaaase?”

He’s not even listening.

Flopping back down, you cover your body in sign to ignore the Oni.

“Hey! I’m talkin’ ! If you ignore me I’ll pretend I don’t know you anymore!” “Please leave my house stranger.” You indulge in his immaturity.

“No way, I haven’t seen you in like, uhhh I don’t know how long - but the point is, it’s been a while! And you don’t look good, gross even!.” “So let’s go eat something, I can bet with how much you work you forgot to.” Oh yeah. You don’t recall eating much in the last week, you should quit that job.

Picking you up and throwing you over his shoulder, he walks to the door.

“You can can do whatever you want after, I’m starving so let’s go out! And when we get back, I can hold you and lay with you, maybe even-“

“Don’t finish that sentence.”

“And we’re off!”

He doesn’t even know what’s going on.

I’m so sorry this doesn’t even feel like it’s good, I actually feel guilty.

#genshin arataki #genshin impact #genshin x you #genshin x reader #arattaki itto #genshin cyno #cyno x reader #tighnari x reader #tighnari #tighnari x y/n #g/n reader #HELP I CAN’T WRITE #arataki itto x reader #arataki x reader #itto x reader #cyno x y/n

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undercovergamer · 7 months

Text

✨Laughing Your Worries Away✨

I couldn’t decide which pic was better so this one has two

⚠️This fic focuses mainly on tickling. Do not read it if that upsets you.⚠️ also contains angst

After sort of becoming Kaveh’s “emotional support oni”, he felt that he should come up with more fun ways of cheering him up whenever he’s sad. No Kavehs were harmed in the writing of this fic.

Content warning: Kaveh is very anxious in the beginning which can be upsetting to read. Hi I edited the summary bc it was too long lol

Note: This is a silly scenario I made up with a friend. Basically Itto is in Sumeru because lazy writing and he’s staying with Alhaitham and Kaveh until he returns to Inazuma, also because lazy writing. We don’t need logic in silly fics like this, right?

Word Count: 3303

“Argh! It’s no use! Something will go wrong, I just know it!”

“Nuh uh! I bet it’ll be lots of fun, actually.“

“Anything can happen, which means anything can go wrong!”

“Or… it means anything can go right, instead. Right?”

“No it doesn’t! That’s not how it works… Do you even know how unlucky I’ve been recently? Who knows when that’ll end?!”

Kaveh was overthinking an event he was going to attend in a few days, panicking over all the possible accidents and mistakes that could ruin everything. He was sure something would go horribly wrong, just not what exactly. It was really stressing him out. Itto was trying his best to help, but Kaveh’s just couldn’t listen. Every time a solution came up, another problem came down.

“Kaveh, please, try to be more rational here, alright? Just think of all the good things that can happen instead! Like... what if you win a prize?” Itto suggested, trying to comfort him.

“Oh, please. How I wish I could! What if something breaks? Or- Or catches fire?! What if it rains and I forget my keys again? What if- I just- I- I can’t- Ugh!! I’m gonna make a complete fool of myself!” Kaveh was stress-pacing back and forth in his room and messing with his hair. He was too anxious to think straight, poor guy.

“Hey, hey, easy now. Take deep breaths.” Itto was trying to de-escalate the situation.

“No! I can’t! This is serious!”

“Please, you need to chill for a bit… all this stress isn’t good for you. Let’s just sit down and we’ll-”

“Ugh, it’s no use, Itto! I can’t just ignore my problems like that! I’m sorry…” Kaveh turned around put his hands in his face for a moment before groaning and anxiously pacing back and forth again. Itto sighed, trying to keep his patience. He didn’t want to be upset with Kaveh, it’s not like he can help that he’s anxious. Hmm, what to do…

“Ah… do you need a hug?” Itto asked, extending his arms and smiling. “You sound like you really need one. C’mere!” Kaveh turned to him with tears in his eyes. If words didn’t work, surely actions would, right?

“F-Fine. M-Maybe just- *sniffle*… j-just one h-h-hug.” Kaveh had tears streaming down his face the moment he accepted Itto’s hug, collapsing into his arms and sobbing. Itto hugged tight and comforted him while he cried, making sure to hold his balance.

“There, there… sshh… it’s gonna be ok. You’re safe… I’ve got you.” Itto said calmly, giving him a gentle headpat. He was starting to tear up as well, but held it together so Kaveh wouldn’t feel worse.

“H-H-How *hic* d-do you *hic* know??” Kaveh sobbed, burying his face in Itto’s shoulder. He was always surprised by how gentle Itto could be, unlike his usual high energy and loudness. It always caught him off-guard a little bit.

“You’ll feel better after you’ve cried, trust me. It’s okay… Just let it aaall out. And remember to breathe...” Itto held him close, gently stroking his back and slowly rocking back and forth.

“Take a deep breath in through your nose.” He said, inhaling and holding his breath for a few seconds. “Hold it for a bit... then, exhale through your mouth. Like this!” He said, slowly exhaling to demonstrate. Eventually, the architect began sobbing less and breathing more, trying to calm down with the breathing exercise Itto suggested. It seemed to be working fine.

After a while, Kaveh could finally compose himself and stop crying. He stayed in the hug for a bit before letting go to wipe his tears away.

“There you go… Do you feel better now?” Itto asked softly, handing him a tissue.

“Yeah… I-… I really needed that. Thank you.” Kaveh replied, blowing his nose into the tissue before throwing it in the bin.

“How do you feel?”

“I feel... fine, I guess.”

“You look sad…”

“Oh… no, no, I’m not sad. I just… ugh…” Kaveh sighed. He was actually feeling better than before, but it was only a matter of time before he’d start overthinking again. He felt so hopless… Itto needed to solve that; he knew exactly how.

“Hmm… you know, I think I know something else that could cheer you up.” Itto said with a sudden grin.

“Wh-What are you doing? D-Don’t- No funny business!” Kaveh felt nervous. Every time Itto had that expression, he’d conduct mischief.

“Hey, c’mon, I’m not gonna do anything bad!” He looked really suspicious… definitely up to no good.

“I-I know, but- uh- d-don’t look at me like that! Ooh, I just KNOW you’re planning something…” Kaveh glared at him and took a step back.

“Heheheh. Oh you are absolutely right, my friend...” Itto chuckled and began wiggling his fingers in the air. Kaveh’s eyes widened as he realized what that meant.

“D-Don’t even THINK about it! Don’t you dare!” Kaveh protested, but it didn’t have any effect as Itto slowly came closer, chuckling to himself.

“I’m gonna get you~” he teased.

“S-Stay back, or I’ll- uh…” Kaveh backed up against a wall, realizing he’d have to make a run in for it.

“Or what, you’ll tell Haitham?” Itto teased. Kaveh suddenly tried to escape by running past Itto to get out of the room. But of course it backfired as Itto quickly caught him and held him tight with a playful hug from behind. “Haha! Gotcha!”

“Agh! Let me go, you brute!” Kaveh squirmed, trying to break free, but he wasn’t strong enough.

“Hey! That’s not very nice!” Itto replied, still smiling with mischief.

“I-…! I uh… s-sorry… I-I just-”

“Hey now, no guilt! It’s alright, buddy! Don’t worry. I’m gonna cheer you up in the most effective way I know!”

“B-But this is unfair! I can barely move!” Kaveh complained, looking down in frustration.

“Good thing I can! Heheh. Are you ticklish, Kaveh?” Itto asked, playfully forming his hands into claws on Kaveh’s sides.

The architect began nervously giggling at the sight, but tried to stay cool. “D-Dohon’t be ridiculous! O-Of course nohot!”

“Reeaaally? Are you sure about that?” Itto teased, clawing one single time, resulting in a jump and surprised squeal out of Kaveh. Itto laughed at his reaction.

“H-Hey! That’s not funny! L-Let me go!” Kaveh giggled against his will, trying to break free. His face was slowly turning red from embarrassment.

“Sounds pretty ticklish to me! This’ll be fun!” Itto said teasingly, slowly beginning to tickle Kaveh.

“ACK- D-Don’t you dare!! Y-You- hngh...” The architect twitched and yelped, trying very hard to keep his giggles in by covering his mouth.

“Tickle tickle~ come on! It’s not fun if you won’t laugh!” Itto suddenly started tickling faster, scribbling over Kaveh’s ribs. “Tickle tickle tickle~!”

Kaveh squealed at the sudden sensation and began laughing and squirming. “EEEHEHEHEHE!! Ahahahahahahahaha!! Nohohohoho!!” He tried is best to break free from the oni’s grasp, but the hug remained strong.

“Haha, got you! Tickle tickle tickle!” Itto giggled along with Kaveh, spider-tickling his ribs and tummy.

“EEK! Ahahahahahaha!! Ittohoho!! Plehehehehease!!” Kaveh squealed, trying to bend forward to protect himself. Itto responded by lifting him up in a bear hug and tickling his waist. The man let out a scream before laughing and kicking like crazy. “PUHUT MEHEHE DOHOHOHOWN!! GAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!”

“Grrr! There’s no escape from the tickle monster! Mwahahaha!” Itto laughed, playfully putting him down and letting go before tickling his sides. “Tickle tickle tickle!!”

“EEK!! BahahahaHAHAHAHA!! G-Gehehet awahahahahahay!!” Kaveh laughed, trying to push Itto away.

“Hehehehe! I got you~!” Itto teased, playfully following Kaveh down as he lost balance and squirmed to the floor. Itto stopped tickling to make sure he didn’t get hurt.

“S-Seriously? The… huff… the tickle monster?! Come on… that’s… huff… that’s just childish…!” Kaveh said, panting heavily.

“Hahahaha! Y’know, you haven’t told me to stop yet. Are you having fun?” Itto asked with a giddy grin on his face. He was sat on the floor, next to the architect.

“I- uh, y-you- um…” Kaveh’s face turned red from embarrassment. He wanted the floor to swallow him whole.

Itto laughed. “Ah, I get it. You’re embarrassed, aren’t you?”

“H-How did you know?!” Kaveh questioned, feeling flustered. Itto was probably gonna tell everyone, he thought. Oh how humiliating…

“Well for one, you haven’t said ‘stop it’ even once, and uh… well, your face got all red when I pointed that out. Hahahaha!”

“S-Stop laughing! It’s not funny!” Kaveh covered his face with his hands.

“Hehehe, sorry! I’m not laughing at you, I just think it’s silly. Anyway, do you want me to stop tickling you yet? Or should I continue?” Itto chuckled and wiggled his fingers above Kaveh.

“Y-You better n-not-… pfft-” Kaveh started giggling from anticipation again, trying to keep it in.

“Listen, all you have to do is tell me ‘stop’ and I’ll stop, alright? I promise!” Itto said, giving him a friendly smile.

“It- It can’t be that easy…” Kaveh said under his breath, but Itto heard him anyway.

“Oh, but it is! I don’t wanna make you panic, y’know. I’m still tickling you because I know you’re enjoying yourself.” Itto playfully poked his tongue out and chuckled to himself.

Kaveh got nervous. “O-Ok fine, y-you got me… uh… p-please don’t tell anyone! I-I don’t know what I’d do if- uh-…”

“Hey, hey! Relax! I won’t tell a soul. Not even Ushi! My lips are sealed. No one shall know! I promise!” Itto said, giving Kaveh a reassuring pat on the head.

“Thank you…” Kaveh said, sighing with relief.

“No problemo, hombre! Now… where else are you ticklish?” Itto asked, tickling Kaveh’s sides and ribs without warning.

“EEK! AAHAHAHAHahahahaha!! ITTO NAHAHAHA!!” Kaveh squealed, squirming around on the floor. Again, he was surprised with how gentle Itto was. He thought the tickling would hurt at first, but oh how wrong he was. The oni was as gentle as he was merciless… in a playful way of course.

“Hehehe! Tickle tickle, Kaveh!” Itto teased, tickling down to his tummy and waist as high pitched laughter and squeals filled the room. “Just let me know when you’ve had enough, alright? Say ‘okay’ if you heard that!”

“EHEHEHE!! Ohohokahahahahay!! AhahahAHAHAHAHA!! N-NOT THERE!!” Kaveh screeched, trying to roll away from the tickles.

“Aha! A weak spot! Heheheh, I win!” Itto exclaimed, playfully squeezing the architect’s waist.

After a little while, Itto heard a voice from outside the room.

“What’s with all the noise? What are y-… …oh.” It was Alhaitham, checking the situation out of curiosity. “Itto, what are you doing..?” he asked, rolling his eyes at the scene.

“Oh hey, man! I’m just tickling Kaveh! He was feeling stressed so I thought I’d distract him for a while!” Itto replied, poking all over Kaveh’s ribs.

“EEK! NohohoHOHOHO!! AAH! Not like thahahahat!!” Kaveh protested, covering his sensitive ribs with his arms.

“Don’t you think that has the opposite effect..?” Alhaitham asked, confused.

“Naah he’s fine. It’s working pretty well, I’d say.” Itto giggled to himself and began playfully squeezing his sides instead.

“AAHAHAHAHAHA!! AHALHAHAITHAHAM HEHEHEHELP!!” Kaveh screeched, squirming even more and trying really hard to roll away and escape.

Itto laughed and stopped tickling him. “You good, bro?” He asked, helping him sit up and patting him on the back.

“Haha… hah… y-yeah…” Of course Alhaitham had to show up. Kaveh could simply die from embarrassment.

“Kaveh, I hope you realize you don’t have to just lie there and take it.” Alhaitham said, looking down at him.

“Naah man, don’t worry about it! He’s fine, really! We-” Kaveh quickly covered Itto’s mouth and hissed “Sshhh!! You weren’t supposed to say anything!”

Alhaitham rolled his eyes. “Kaveh, for your own good you should at least try to fight back. It’s not as hard as you’d think.” He said, looking at Itto.

“Whoa whoa, hang on, are you saying I’m weak? Ha! That is simply absurd! How dare you?” Itto scoffed, crossing his arms.

“No, that’s not what I meant, Itto. Let me show you.” Alhaitham quickly poked his side, making him jump and protest.

“Wha- Hey! Don’t do that! I’m not- I’m not ticklish! I just- pfft-” Itto was interrupted by yet another poke, this time from Kaveh who was now curiously poking away at his ribs, sending the oni into a giggling fit.

“Hehehey! Nohohohohahahaha!” He giggled, trying to defend himself.

“Wow, no way! I never would’ve guessed an oni like you would be so ticklish!” Kaveh said, chuckling to himself.

“Hahahaha! I’m nahahahahat!!”

“You are! Tickle tickle tickle!”

“Nohohoho!! Pfft- stahahahap!!” Itto managed to push Kaveh’s hands away to stop him from tickling. “Ohoho, you’re not gonna get me that easily! You’re in trouble now!” he said, grinning.

“W-Wahahait nohoho! A-Alhaitham, do somethihing!” Kaveh pleaded, giggling nervously.

“I’ve got better things to do. I’m sorry, Kaveh.” Alhaitham replied.

“B-But-”

“See ya.”

“No! NO WAIT!” Alhaitham left the room and Kaveh started squirming, trying to escape his playful demise.

“Heheheh, looks like ol’ Haitham can’t help you now, huh?” Itto said with a somewhat menacing grin.

“Oh, by the way,” Alhaitham poked his head through the doorway. “Itto, get his hips.”

“WHAT?! D-Don’t tell him that!! Are you crazy?!” Kaveh yelled, glaring daggers into Alhaitham.

“Ooh, you don’t say~?” Itto already guessed that area was particularly sensitive, but decided to play along for the sake of evil.

“Mhm. Anyway, see ya.” The scribe simply smirked and left the scene, closing the door.

“Alhaitham, you are SO DEAD after this!!” Kaveh yelled angrily, but he started giggling uncontrollably when he heard Itto’s sinister chuckle. That grin sent shivers down his spine. The anticipation was through the roof!

“I-Itto, wait! Y-You don’t have to- pfft-hehehe nohohohoho!! Wahahait!!” He tried, and failed, to crawl away in time.

“I’m gonna get you~! Hehehe!” Itto caught him before he could escape.

“Nohohoho!” Kaveh quickly covered his sensitive hips as best as he could.

“Oh, that just won’t do.” Itto could simply move Kaveh’s arms himself, but he was worried that’d make him panic. So instead, he decided tickling them away was a safer option.

“EEK! AhahaHAHAHAHAHA!! NOHOHOT THAHAHAHAT!!” Kaveh squealed when Itto began rapidly poking all over his ribs and tum, with more fingers this time. Why on earth did that tickle so bad?!

“Hehe, this is fun! You’re no match for my signature ten-finger-pokes! Hahaha!” Itto bragged, giggling along with Kaveh’s laughter. Soon enough, the architect gave in to his instincts and tried to cover his ribs with his arms instead. That’s when Itto’s hands quickly latched onto the architect’s hips, summoning a surprised squeal.

“Waitwaitwaitwait nohohoho!! Nononono don’t you DARE!! I- ehehehehe!! Plehehehease!!” Kaveh grabbed Itto’s wrists, but wasn’t strong enough to pull them away.

“Heheheh, you haven’t said ‘stop’ yet, buddy. Still having fun? Hmm?” Itto teased, laughing when Kaveh’s face turned red.

“J-Just you wait! You’ll be sorry!! I’ll get my revehehEHEHEHENGE!! GWAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!” Itto began rapidly squeezing his hips. Kaveh screamed and arched his back, kicking and flailing around, unable to struggle properly. His wild laughter even rose an octave or two. Those ticklish shockwaves were so bad he couldn’t think straight!

“Hahaha! Aw, does it tickle? Kitchy kitchy koo!” Itto teased, laughing with Kaveh.

“AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! PLEHEHEHEASE!! N-NAHAHAT THEHEHEHERE!!” Kaveh screeched, shaking his head and desperately trying to push Itto’s hands away. He had been laughing so much that tears were starting to fall from his eyes.

“Should I stop?” Itto asked, smiling playfully, switching to gently scribbling on Kaveh’s tum to make his laughter less frantic.

“EHEHEHEHE!! Y-Yehehehes!! Plehehehease stohohop!!” Kaveh pleaded. Itto stopped tickling immediately and helped his buddy sit up. Kaveh was panting heavily and wiping away his tears of mirth, with a tired smile on his face.

“Whoa, looks like I broke you there. A-Are you ok?? …Did I go too far?” Itto asked, suddenly feeling worried.

“Ha… haha… I-I’m fine… hehehe…!” Kaveh replied, catching his breath while still giggling a little bit. His hair was a mess after all that squirming.

“Are you sure? You look exhausted...”

“Hahaha… ehehe… haha… I-It’s fine, really… I… I had fun…” Kaveh said, smiling at the oni. He looked pretty happy!

“Really? That’s awesome! Hahaha! I’m just glad I didn’t overwhelm you too badly. Here, let me help!” Itto stood up and reached his hand out so he could help Kaveh up.

“Thanks… hehe… phew… th-that was a lot..!”

“Take it easy now, breathe. Do you feel better now?” He asked happily.

“Huh? What do you…” Kaveh thought for a moment. Thanks to Itto, he had completely forgotten his worries. “Huh… I actually feel really happy! I feel so much better!” He smiled brightly, feeling grateful for the oni’s help.

“Hahaha! I’m so glad to hear that! Really glad you had fun, Kaveh.” Itto replied excitedly, giving him a tight, playful hug.

“Hngh… c-can’t… b-breathe..!” Kaveh wheezed.

“Oops! Oh sorry, hahaha!” Itto loosened the hug and laughed happily. “Hey, do you need water? I can go get some for you!”

“N-No! D-Don’t leave yet...” Kaveh said, hugging him tighter.

“Huh? What’s wrong?”

“N-Nothing. I just… just wait… please.” He was feeling a bit overwhelmed and needed the hug to calm down fully.

“Aw, ok! We’ll hug for as long as you need, buddy!” Itto held him close and gently rocked back and forth to help him chill.

After a bit of silence, Kaveh took a deep breath to compose himself. He had something important to say now that his brain was working again.

“…Itto, I-... thank you for cheering me up. I-It means a lot to me. That was really nice of you, I… I appreciate it. A lot. Thank you so much…” he said, hugging him closer.

“Aww, no problem! That’s so sweet of you to say! I’m really glad I could help. Let me know next time you’re feeling down, and I’ll tickle the sadness away!” Itto playfully tickled Kaveh’s sides for a bit.

“EEK! Hehehey! Nohohoho!” Kaveh jumped and squirmed away from the hug.

“Hahaha! See how easy it is? You look so happy now!” Itto exclaimed, stopping the tickles again.

“Haha... That’s not gonna work every time, though! Please, make sure you ask first. Sometimes I don’t want to be touched at all.” Kaveh said, placing a boundary.

“Gotcha! I’ll make sure to always ask first! You have my word on it. No discomfort on my watch!”

“Thank you, Itto. But don’t go thinking I’ll let you off the hook without revenge! Just you wait.”

“Hahaha! No problem, my guy! I won’t make it easy for you, though!” Itto said, giving him a playful look. Then he pointed at him and said, “You, my good sir, need to drink water. Like… right now. C’mon!”

“Haha, alright. Fine.” Kaveh replied, following him to the kitchen.

After they both hydrated, Itto started another conversation.

“Let’s go outside! I bet I can help you plan for that event!” he said.

“A-Are you sure? There’s a lot to consider…”

“Of course I’m sure! Not to brag or anything, but I’m a PRO at organizing events!”

“Well, we’re not exactly organizing it...”

“Hey, trust me! I know what I’m doing! We can come up with ideas together and write them down. And you can get inspiration from nature itself! How cool is that??”

“Oh alright, but no sudden decisions! We need to give each idea a good amount of thought first.”

“Suuure, of course… Hahahaha!”

Once they went for a walk outdoors, Itto continued to passionately rant about all the event’s possibilities while Kaveh listened and took notes. It felt nice to hear suggestions from an excited perspective rather than an anxious one, he thought. He still couldn’t believe how tickling actually helped him calm down of all things. And he certainly couldn’t believe how Alhaitham just betrayed him like that… but that was for future Kaveh to think about. Now, it was time to chill and brainstorm with Itto.

#lee!kaveh #ler!itto #ticklish!kaveh #tickle fic #tickle fluff #genshin impact tickle #sfw tickle community #genshin impact tickling #genshin tickle #genshin tickling #my private twashcan

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grison-in-space · 2 months

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Part of the problem with trying to protect young people from exploitation and grooming by extremist elements of the manosphere is that our understanding of exploitation and how to tackle it is still hopelessly out of touch. Dr. Firmin explained that the very hallmarks of adolescence that most attract young men to these online communities are also the ones least understood by traditional support mechanisms. During adolescence, young people prioritize belonging, self-autonomy, and independence. This, she said, is a period in which young people are struggling with intense emotions: they are “more inclined to take risks” and are particularly unlikely to think about “long-term consequences.” As such, traditional support services are not well suited to this period, because they tend to be “targeted at individuals who don’t like to take risks and will think about the long-term consequences of their behavior and will be generally emotionally stable.” While support structures struggle against these typical adolescent behaviors, Dr. Firmin explained, those who exploit young people “will tend to work with” them, offering children

a sense of risk or going against the grain, focus on short-term gains, what it means in the here and now, and push aside the potential negative long-term consequences… They will provide means by which you can be very emotionally driven and passionate…and also validate those emotions as authentic when other adults are saying, “Don’t get so worked up.”

All this resonates powerfully with the tactics of the manosphere. Young people are offered a highly emotive narrative and a sense of deep belonging and community. They are repeatedly encouraged, in incel forums, for example, to take violent action that would position them as countercultural disrupters without thinking too much about the consequences. “It’s very easy to sell those ideas,” Dr. Firmin added, in a community that boasts about “going against the norm.” In the case of the manosphere, she said, that manifests as “pushing against this idea of new masculinity…or men’s increased role in parenting… This narrative would push against all of that, push against #MeToo, so it’s very easy then to sell it as a risk and sell it into this idea of wanting a sense of self, a sense of personal identity.” In some respects, she said, given the current climate, the attractiveness of the manosphere to young men is “not very surprising at all.”

Men Who Hate Women, 2020, Laura Bates.

... Ohhhhh. Well, Bates is talking about young men getting sucked into the manosphere, but TERF tactics make a whole lot more sense now, don't they? There's all this uncertainty in our collective lives, and a simple but risky narrative that just requires brave, passionate folks to stand up for what they believe in to fix everything...

Ah.

For that matter, the same patterns totally resonated with me in my teens and twenties; I just had causes that I still feel good about to stand up for, like queer solidarity and ace community raising and allyship as an active choice.

I'm carrying some grief about that this morning—I have a lot of scars that came from being brave and open and riskily vulnerable and trusting my own resilience and hard work to catch me, and it's been a hard, hard ten years. But I also find myself thinking in the same breath: oh. That's the same romantic tendency that's kicking off the wistfulness about labor uprisings I was so critical of last night, and that association builds commitment to changing the critically unfair economic systems of inequality we live with. That's the same energy that makes so many teenagers so emphatic about climate change. That's the thing that makes my grad students stamp feet and snap "well, it shouldn't be like that then!" while I'm trying to do more with less to support them and keep them safe. And sometimes that makes me adjust my course, often for the better.

Stuff like this really renews my commitment to listening to folks who are significantly different in age to me. Sometimes I think they are missing big things in their politics, but sometimes I think that the uncompromising optimism of what could be is a powerful, heady current.

I've only been an adult for about a decade, is the thing, and I've already watched the activism of the generation of millennial activists I grew up alongside make real, profound changes in the status quo, often but not always informed by the support and lessons of generations that have broken the trails before ourselves. I think there can be a certain complacency about that, an idea that younger folks are going to either save us unassisted (lol no) or pick up largely arbitrary battles and waste the momentum of their energy and commitment. I don't think that complacency is a good idea, but it exists. It's worth opposing.

Just like any social construct, generations are both imaginary and profoundly real at the same time, both a wave and a particle at once. It's worth thinking about what people at different ages and life stages need, and it's always worth thinking about how to build coalitions to best channel and support one another.

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alwayscorvus · 2 months

Text

Is it a date?

Bronya Rand x malereader, fluff

-Could you talk with her?

-I don't know if this is the best idea…

-She'll listen to you for sure.

You looked at your sister with disapproval.

-Weren't you the one, who didn't question any of her statements, trusted her absolutely and declared that you would support her in any decision, because it would surely be the right one?

Seele rested one hand on her hip and almost rolled her eyes.

-But not when it comes to the well-being of Underworld

-I really don't want to pry… - you heavily breathed out.

You honestly preferred to stay away from politics matters. And even more from putting a pressure on Bronya.

-But are you sure that your tax requests in Underworld aren't perhaps a little-... exaggerated?

You were just leaning with your back on monumental wooden desk in Qlipoth Fort's office. Hesistant, every now and then, you were shifting your gaze from a window in front of you to your clasped hands.

Occasionally, you also sent Bronya some uncertain glances, trying to figure out her reaction. However, that only lasted for seconds.

Due to the lunch hour, you two were alone in the room. Bronya was sitting on a leather chair. Just several inches away from you.

Bright rays of sunlight were falling on her hair.

She was looking through some less important papers, about non-priority matters. Or at least that's how she described them when you were making sure if you could interrupt her.

-What do you mean? -she asked, without looking away from her work.

-Don't you think they are a bit... too high?

-Exactly the same as Overworld's people.

-Yes, people who didn't have economic crisis and could always find a source of work.

-You know I have no choice.

With a grimace on her face, she hinted to the matter of Belobog's debt. To money they had owed IPC for a long time.

That way she quickly ended the topic.

Bronya pushed herself away from the desk. Then stood up and walked to the wall with a spacious window.

She crossed her hands on her chest, gazing at the city in a distance.

-But okay. I can try to think it over - she added suddenly.

You immediately got up from your place.

-Ah thank you Bronya! You are the best, finally Seele will stop bugging me about it!

You moved towards her relieved and full of energy. Almost wanting to hug her on spot.

Although maybe your sister's situation wasn't the only one that made you happy. You were also kind of proud of yourself for being able to help your people by chance.

-I will repay you as soon as it will be possible! - you assured, wanting to close your deal and get over it.

Bronya, without much thought, chose her "reward". Truthfully, you rather expected something like a hand wave. Or saying that it wasn't a problem. But such a turn of events didn't bother you. You were even grateful that you weren't the only one who took advantage of your long friendship.

-You once promised me that you would take me on a picnic outside the city.

Suprised, you turned your head to the side and frowned. A slight blush appeared on girl's cheeks. She turned around even more. Now she was no longer just standing sideways to you, but actually with her back. She anxiously avoided your gaze, as well as your reaction.

-Isn't it a little too cold for that? -you asked unsurely.

-I can handle some cold

-Just don't feel disappointed - you clarified right away.

Currently frosted Jarilo-VI probably wasn't the best environment for picnics.

You were stepping briskly through the white, fuzzy Jarilo-VI's lands, climbing uphill. Bronya followed right behind you, only slightly further. Somehow a little bit shy and a little bit more dressed up than usual. Although, from what Seele once told you, Bronya always changed like that in front of you.

You blessed fate for at least a friendly weather. Today's day was one of nicer ones. Sunny and with a pleasant "summer breeze" in the air. Not too windy. Although not for long.

-Here we are! -you announced happily, though with a lacking confidence.

Rocky surface of the cliff apperaed to your view. Warm rays of sun had managed to melt a thin layer of snow that had fallen on it during the night. In the result, you were gifted with a small gap on which you could now spread a fluffy blanket. All the best for Supreme Guardian.

You hurriedly took care of laying out a picnic and taking things out of a wicker basket. In the same time, girl watched you with curiosity and affection.

When everything was ready you gave her a hand to help her take a seat. She accepted it out of habit and sat down on bent legs.

Her eyes lit up at the amount of food you had prepared by yourself, especially for her. Regardless of whether you were good at cooking or not. Bronya was extremely grateful for all the work you put into it.

You handed her a thermal mug of warm tea and she smiled slightly at this.

-Thank you -well mannered as always- It's really beautiful here.

You felt a stab of pride.

In front of you a view of a beautiful, snow-white landscape took place. Deep down Belobog shimmered with bright lights. From such a distance, houses seemed tiny, and roads looked like one big maze.

Suddenly an unexpected blow of frosty air gushed towards you. Truth to be told, quick and only one, but Bronya trembled all the way anyway. Worried, you reached for a small, rolled up fur. You put it over girl's shoulders, making sure it wouldn't fall off. Then you returned to your seat and reached for something to drink.

-Sorry it's not perfect, but-

-Don't worry, it's great. The best date I could ever imagine.

Shocked, you choked on a juice that you were just drinking.

-D-date?!

-Is it not? -she asked surprised, covering herself all in red.

You coughed, looking at her with wide-open eyes.

-Oh…

Bronya, seeing your reaction, immediately became down. It came to her that you both were looking at this meeting in completly different ways.

-No no no! -she waved her hands rapidly while skaking her head. And after that, covered her entire face with them.

-F-forget that I said anything! It was just a misunderstanding! I d-didn't mean anything!

To say that you were confused and didn't know what to do was like saying nothing.

You wanted to help nervously blabbering girl, but you had no idea how to do it. You had liked Bronya for a long time. But you always thought she didn't feel the same. She was too busy with her responsibilities of Supreme Guardian. And didn't look like a person who wanted to find a second half. That's why you quickly came to conclusion that you had no chance and let it go. After all, you were just friends to each other, right?

-Wait wait - you tried to wake up from your trance and regain some sober thinking, but it wasn't easy.

You coughed out remnants of liquid that was irritating your lungs. And then you grabbed girl's wrists, pulling them slightly. You saw embarrassed Bronya, covered completely in an intense blush. So, after all, then in the office, you had been right. You really had made Bronya blush.

-You like-… me? - you hesistantly tried to form a sentance.

Stating a fact, but at the same time asking a question to yourself.

Bronya looked at you panicked. With large, shining eyes, she resembled a deer caught in headlights.

She swallowed saliva and nodded unsurely. Giving up in the end. If not today then never.

-And you don't - she replied surprisingly calmly.

-I-… It's not like that. I was just not expecting that

-Don't worry, we can completely forget about it. I'll go back to my duties. I quess that I was just never good at reading emotions and relationships. I only hope that we can still be friends after that

-It's not like that! -you protested, not wanting to miss the opportunity- You just really suprissed me, you know?

In the heat of a moment, you locked her in a warm embrace.

-But I would love if you agreed to be my girlfriend- you added, squeezing her even tighter.

She, with a smile on her face and a tear in her eye, hugged you back.

-I would be the happiest girlfriend in whole Jarilo-VI

#fanfic #fanfiction #scenarios #tmr #x reader #honkai star rail #honkai star rail imagines #hsr #hsr x male reader #hsr x reader #bronya #bronya x reader #bronya x male reader #x top male reader #x male reader #bronya hsr

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rpedia · 3 months

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How to deal with lack of motivation to reply?

Ah, the old blank screen stare. So, for the most part I consider this issue to be several intersecting problems at the same time. Usually a lack of motivation indicates a.) a lack of fun/enjoyment, b.) low/no expectation of reward, or c.) fear or apprehension. Let's explore that under the cut.

When you are roleplaying and you're not enjoying yourself explicitly, if the journey to a finished post is not fun itself, we're kind of fucking ourselves over. Creation of these words, excitement at turning a phrase or approaching an idea you really want to explore is basically the whole gist of it. It is a hobby, and loving what you write and laughing at your own jokes is important! You are your own first audience, and if you're not impressed or pleased with what you're writing, it becomes an endless Sisyphean task where you unhappily struggle to write something, anything, to just get through it.

In this case it may be a lack of inspiration. With no structure, or core, we can really easily lose sight of what kind of play we're looking for. What are your goals? Are you here for plot, or character? For smut, or a quick playful bit of banter? Do you want to fight, or are you reaching for some overarching thing? Hell, do you know where THIS scene is headed, or does it feel like an endless trudge? These ideals disappearing or falling to the wayside for someone else can really fuck the vibe!

How are you supposed to know what to write, if you don't have any plans for the character, or don't know where they might potentially go? Like it doesn't have to be hard and fast, but understanding your characters own personal goals, fears, joys, and secrets (entirely different to you, the player) can help with motivation in writing them. I like to explore these by playing games with myself, and daydreaming about scenarios and possibilities that aren't "canon" to my character, but just let me know more about them if a similar situation were to come up. Having a library chock-full of potential what-ifs can help a ton in figuring out how to approach any actions or direction a partner may push you towards. Be excited to explore your character, and to show them off to others! This journey is soooo important to love for itself!

Like with any piece of art, not enjoying the process is a quick short-cut to burn-out and misery. So, if this is happening you might want to adjust some things if you're sitting there upset and bored instead of enjoying what should be a fun pastime you can lose yourself in! So instead of beating yourself up about posting, figure out why it's a chore. Are you taking care of yourself? Have you met the S.H.R.E.K. criteria for the day? Is this post not something in your wheelhouse, or do you feel like you could be doing something else and getting more fun out of it?

Before I get ahead of myself, let me address the truly horrific acronym I just threw at you. S.H.R.E.K. criteria? Who would inflict this on you? Well... me, because it's so memetic and stupid I remember it way better than most acronyms, so buckle up buttercup. It stands for:

Socialization: Have you talked to someone or had meaningful interactions with others for the day? Depending on your needs, you may need hugs, touching others, chatting with loved ones, or cuddling. Some people literally need to be touched, held, hugged, and talked with the thrive, and others can do just fine with a little less. Listen to the monkey studies: Don't be a wire mother to yourself, let yourself have cloth mother sometimes. Hydration: Have you been drinking enough liquids to be hydrated and keep your piss from being too yellow? No liquids means your body starts sucking at everything from getting oxygen to the brain, to making food into energy. Make sure you balance hydration with salt and food intake, but never underestimate what a good cold cup of something can do. And yes, any liquid works. Coffee is dehydrating, so is soda, but their hydrating effect is way bigger than how often they make you piddle so it balances out. Still, water is best but don't beat yourself up about it. Rest: Have you slept enough in the last 24 hours? I know you think 4-6 is okay, but it's really not, it will actually cause you to behave like an alcoholic and lead to later insomnia, mental issue worsening, and health problems like heart issues. Nip that in the bud, sleep full 8-10 hour nights. Or nap if you're just sleepy! Eat: Have you shoved nutritious food in your gob or are you dying from scurvy, beri-beri, and malnutrition simultaneously while depriving the lil dudes who help you write a good lunch? Don't starve your lil neuron folks, they need a good meal too. Even if it's just ingredients for a meal, anything is better than nothing and you deserve food. Kinetics: Have you moved around? Stretched? Walked or played? Sometimes if you're starting out from zero, you might try just standing up and sitting down a couple times to help get bloodflow going! Getting active at whatever level you're at is good for the brain.

Anyways after that interlude, back to basics. At the lowest tier we want to be having fun. If we're not, it might be us, or it might be a boring lackluster partner. That's where a lack of reward comes in. If the partner is, bless them and their hard work, just not giving you the thrills to pay the dopamine bills? That just might mean you guys aren't a good match! This is not the end of the world, it just means you might need to stop playing with them.

Step back, consider if roleplaying with their style and output is worth your time and effort, and do BOTH of you a favor if they aren't. Set them free to play with other players who love their writing and can't get enough of it, and stop grating your teeth across cement trying to come up with something to keep things you don't even like going. This is the communication part, remember how I used to harp on that? Well old Uragani still thinks it's super important. So discuss that 'hey, we might not be a great fit for writing together' and come up with solutions. Maybe finding new partners, and just staying friends, or just waving goodbye to each other and hitting the road.

Here we find ourselves looking at challenger #3, the good old fear and apprehension. This comes up more than I'd like to admit. Are you worried about what's happening next? Or how you might portray something? Have you worked yourself up too much, and now you feel like you can never meet your own expectations? Are you scared of letting down a partner, and not giving them your best? Do you feel like your post might go over an unwritten line, and leave people upset with you?

Congrats! I hate that shit too! I do not know why brains do this to us! I would like to sue!

Anxiety is a hell of a beast, so is Impostor Syndrome, and fear of letting people down, and all the other fun goodies in that bag. They can be worked on at home, in small doses. You gotta learn to sit back, and be able to talk to yourself. Why are you feeling this way, and finding the name for your emotional state, accepting it, and letting it pass through can help. In major situations, you might need to find yourself a good old Common Sense Dispenser, better known as a therapist. They have the tools you need, and yes, roleplay can be a play you find out what you need. It's not dumb, it's useful.

Working through this can be as simple as discussing your fears with your partner and making sure everything is kosher. It might need you to look at a worst case scenario and then planning an exit strategy for that, even if it never happens. Sometimes, you just gotta heft yourself up, and push through the fear. There's a million ways to get through it, and I'm not the person who can tell you which will work for you. But I can tell you, it gets better the longer you work with it. Confidence comes from experience, the more you work at it, the more it feels like second nature.

But that brings with it the last beast, the hidden #4. Burn-out. Sometimes, when we delve too deeply into something we love, we ignore the signs of burn-out. Losing interest in things we once deeply enjoyed. Feeling exhausted at the thought of starting a post, or writing anything. Feeling like we've lost touch with what we used to be good at. Burn out can be a miserable thing, because it stand between us and our goals, our happiness, and it keeps them behind the thickest glass, so we can see them, but getting them feels impossible. The harder we push, the thicker the glass becomes.

In cases of burn out, like the kind I've experienced, sometimes you need to take a step back and just do something else. Go on hiatus. Maybe it's hooked to a character, and you simply have to play with some other muse. Maybe it's with another player, and finding a new fandom without them in it can help. Maybe it's with writing at large, and you need to go find some other outlet to explore while this one heals. You cannot do the same thing forever, you will lose touch with what makes it special. Believe me.

But after healing, which can take years if you keep pushing it like some idiot who wrote RPedia long after you should stop, it'll be fun again. You'll want to come back, and do the thing you were good at, and loved again. The spark will return, and things just... settle and feel better. I promise. Just let yourself have that time to recover without pushing yourself somewhere you aren't meant to go right now.

Naturally there's other stuff too. ADHD/Autism/other issues could be throwing the executive dysfunction ball into your lap and suddenly doing the thing you've done a thousand times is impossible. Stars aren't in alignment. Maybe you're stressed out because of an external force and need a break. Maybe the thread you're in has been going on too long in the same scene, and you need to cut and start a "fresh episode" before everything stays stale forever. Maybe you just aren't in the mood! There's a million reasons, but all of them come down to figuring out what the problem is, and engaging with ways to break that problem down into bits. Find your fun. Look for partners who make you feel like writing with them is worth it. Work with your fears, and express yourself about them and let them past through you. Find external help if needed, and take care of your body while you're at it.

And hey, remember, I am not the end all be all of advice. It could totally be something outside of these circumstances, but I'd like to think that in my experience these are the major factors that I keep coming across. If any of this has been a help, I can only be happy to have said it. Thank you so much for reading!

#ask rpedia #anonymous #roleplaying #rph #rpedia #passion #writing #roleplaying advice #personal help #hey uhm #im back #oop #We'll see how long before I burn out again #hi guys though!#I'll post once every Friday until I lose steam

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scolbert22 · 1 year

Text

Tutor's Pet

@brandedx2 requested "BRAWNY FOOTBALL PLAYER IN A HAMSTER CAGE PLEASE" (Talk about microfiction lol)

Grant was a little apprehensive about being the new tutor for the football team, but Coach Anthony had hardly given him a choice in the matter. Them short, sandy haired otter was kind of a pushover, and the older man had sensed weakness in him. Long story short, there he was, knocking Tank's door.

Travis "Tank" O'Neil was a 6'5, 310 pound offensive lineman. He had a fiery copper mohawk, with a heavy brow and beard to match. He was the terror of the English department, as he was both barely literate, and mean as hell. He'd sent more than one tutor to the ER. The towering behemoth was wearing his green and white jersey and a pair of jeans when he opened the door roughly, his eyeline high above Grant's head. He looked down, regarding his next punching bag.

Grant Conners was about 5'6, he had wide blue eyes hidden behind large glasses, and a sandy goatee. in his college sweater, khakis, and high tops painted the picture of a meek bookworm.

"You the one who's gonna keep me from failing?" Tank grunted down at him in his rumbling voice.

"Uh...w-well I am certainly going to do my best!" Grant chirped up with an optimism he did not feel.

Tank laughed cruelly. "Well you better do more than try, little man. 'less you want me to rearrange that pretty little face." he reached down with one of his baseball mitt hands and pinched the little guy's cheek. Grant cringed in pain.

As he followed his charge in, Grant noticed that he was drinking from a plastic bottle of green liquid. It seemed to glow in the light. He noticed that the outside of the bottle was covered in some Cyrillic language, but he couldn't be sure what.

He sat down on a rickety chair across from Tank's bed, where the giant took his seat with a manly grunt. Pulling Jane Eyre out of his bag, He tried to make some pleasant conversation to ease his way in.

"Oh what are you drinking?" He smiled brightly.

"It's some shit I found on the body building forums, supposed to make me swole as fuck." He grunted before downing the last of it. "Shit's not FDA approved but I can already feel it giving me more energy- BWWWARRRP" The ginger goliath belched loudly in his tutor's face.

"Oh! Uh, alright!" Not sure what to say, he pushed forward. "Well, Coach says that you're struggling in your English lit class. Are you struggling with the archaic language? Or is it more the themes of the novel?"

"I don't struggle with anything runt. I'm a champion." Tank growled. "The problem is that it's boring as shit, Who cares about this lame bitch wandering around a stupid old house?" The giant burped again, even longer this time. Grant turned away, trying to hid his disgust. As he did, he noticed a wire cage with a large water bottle hanging from it.

"Oh do you have a hamster?" He tried valiantly to change the subject.

"Had one. Then it bit me." Tank smirked, looking toward the open window. Grant gulped.

"Ah! I see! Well, back to Jane Eyre-" He started, but he was cut off by another explosive belch. He regarded the gassy lineman across from him. Were his clothes looking a little....looser?

"Travis, are you feeling okay?"" he asked.

"My name is BRAAAAAAWWWWP Tank you fuckin cumstain. And I've BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWP never felt better." Tank did his est to menace his tutor, but the uncontrollable burping undermined it somewhat. Additionally, Grant was sure now that Tank was getting smaller. They were nearly eye-level now, and Grant had an experiment he wanted to try.

He reached forward, quick as a flash, and placed his hand on the center of Tank's musclegut. He pressed firmly.

"What the fuck are you doing you little- BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWP!" Tank roared, and belched helplessly against the pressure his would-be victim applied to his solid tummy. He shrank more rapidly now, his feet dangling from the side of the bed. He leapt up in an attempt to tower over Grant, shouting "Quit it dickhead!" This posturing backfired immediately.

The dwindling ginger realized that the top of his head barely reached Grant's chin. His jeans slid to the floor, leaving him in his oversized jersey and his lucky jockstrap.

Grant's eyes lit up. "Well, what's this?" He laughed, peeling the jersey off his pasty, freckled body and tossing it to the floor. He grabbed both sides of the jock and lifted him up like he was in a bungie swing. "How's the weather down there?"

Tanks legs kicked helplessly as he bounced in his dingy jock. "Stop it dude, please!" His voice was higher now, and a twinge of fear had replaced the cocky aggression.

Grant laughed in reply, poking his gut merrily. "Boop!" He declared in a sing song voice.

Tank replied with a belch that rose a few octaves as his size dwindled from "underdeveloped freshman" to "chunky housecat". He dangled helplessly, looking like he was about to cry.

"Please man, I'm beggin' you!" He whimpered, sniffling.

"You know, my friend Michael begged too, when you pushed him downstairs and broke his leg." Grant growled, slapping his belly pink.

The ricochet of burps that followed caused him shrink

down,

down.

He finally settled at about 6 inches tall.

Finally, he felt less bloated.

the former giant curled up in the musky pouch of his own jock, whimpering and blubbering pathetically.

Grant laughed, carrying him over to the vacant hamster cage.

"Don't worry little fella! I'm a much better pet owner than you!" He dumped the naked jock into the enclosure, tossing the jock on top of his discarded clothes. "Now run on that wheel until I say stop, or I'll give you the hamster treatment."

The red faced little man didn't need telling twice. He got up to his feet immediately, panting and whimpering in fear. His squeaky little voice breathlessly shouting "Yes Sir"s and "Please don't hurt me!"s.

Grant kicked back in the giant's old bed. He was just about to finish out the rest of their tutoring session watching his new little pet when there was a stern knock at the door.

Frantically, Grant leapt to his feet. He grabbed the jersey off the floor and draped it over his jock cage, kicking the rest of his clothes under the bed. In his haste, he caught his toe on the minifridge door, knocking it open and biting his finger to prevent from crying out. He hobbled quietly toward the door.

Glancing through the peephole, he saw Coach Anthony. The greying muscle bear was in his track jacket and short shorts, checking his watch impatiently with his cold, silvery eyes.

"Tank, you better not be pulverizing another one of those little geeks, or its 20 laps for you!" the gruff man shouted through the door.

Glancing around in panic, Grant's eyes settled on the minifridge he'd kicked open. It was full to the brim with bottles of that strange black market drink. A grin spread across his face. He opened the door.

"Hello Coach! Travis is in the bathroom, but he's really taking to the material!"

Coach looked unconvinced. "Really?" he snorted. "I've never seen Tank take to anything that didn't involve tackling a freshman."

"Well, I don't want to brag but I really think that he's turned over a brand new leaf! Why don't you stay a minute and see? Can I get you something to drink?"

Coach considered for a moment. "Ah why the hell not! Why don't you toss me one of them Gatorades in the fridge? Tank's a big boy, but he won't miss one."

#male tf #shrinking man #macro/micro

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petitsdieu · 3 months

Text

FIVE SONGS for your muse.

I have a semi-recent (seven) song list from another tagged meme thing here.

FIVE QUOTES for your muse.

((I don't have source material like movie or book quotes but I do have amazing writing partners (current or not ) that treat my muse like a canon and give me the most lovely written excerpts that could have been ripped right out of a book. If I searched more, I could have probably found more. But here are some of my favs. God bless you all.))

i. (See the lamb’s flush betide her face; a bruise of muffled wanting.) (Behind Hara’s ear, hidden in her crown, is a softness kin to lambswool. She would hide it — bury it under garb and seam.) — written by @nightmarefuele

ii. ( i hate how fuckin stubborn you are. it’s 5 am and i cant sleep and i’ll probably never send this but...) (...i think it’s because you’re scared. you’re fucking scared of someone knowing you so you go for the ones who just see you as a play thing and don’t want to know you and then you sit there with your fuck me eyes and act like none of us can see straight through your act. well i see you, hara ora, bright as fuckin day. you don’t fool me) — written by @drugstoreglitter

iii. She was the damn antithesis of everything that he was: gentle, soft, good, perfect—he ought to have some guilt for wanting her this way, for knowing he was taking something far too fucking virtuous for a being such a malicious son of a bitch. But he doesn’t care. That’s the problem. He wants her. Selfishly, without regret, and with absolute no remorse. It should be a blaring red alarm for her to be signaled to stay the hell away from him. Whether she’s naive, or hopeful, or misguided on who he is… he cannot bring himself to care. She accepts him. And for that, he would devour her. — written by @godstrayed

iv. "You’ve never been so lost, Hara. Have you? Ah, but you have. Only now you feel its full brunt, that it spreads over your mouth like the weeds — and in so suffocating, you turn to an inexplicable oppressor. To me. You’re not sure which I am: vulgar, or obscure. And that beguiles you. Revives you. You’ve been dead, ogled inside an old king’s birdcage, for so long…" — written by @nightmarefuele

v. ...because it’s the energy she gives off, isn’t it, that, fuck me on speed kawaii angelic something that makes her head go all fucking spun, and yeah maybe hara’s less pastel pink and neon orange, but her existence looks streaked in glitter and glory and temporary flings and love and the way that something quick and easy can leave you feeling as if you were choking on the aftereffects of it, oh - it’s a hell of a lot, isn’t it. — written by @redemptioninterlude

vi. Wants to feel his hands all over her ; wants to find salvation in the sweet flavour of her sugared lips . Would pull the wings off angels just to pull moans from the depths of her core . Almost forgot how pleasantly overwhelming it is to make love to her. — written by an old rp partner that's no longer around / blog gone.

vii. Hara was obsessed with the idea of closing doors, of protecting what little she had of herself, for herself. And that was all fine and charming when you were on the outside, clamouring for an idea, a taste, of just what made that magic woman come to life. But in the reality, it was mud and sticks and stones that bore her, and inside, she sensed a deep emptiness… the way that she pushed people away, and howled at the proverbial moon, all the messages that she’d ever need to know just how fucked up she was. — written by @redemptioninterlude

viii. One, two … four. He counts drops as they wet Hara’s skin. Shimmering, like honey. Five. Would they taste like the buttery warmth of her lotion? He might run his tongue along the lattice of her veins. Lace himself inside her salt and skin. — written by @nightmarefuele

tagged by: the ever talented @corruptedforce tagging: @nightmarefuele @redemptioninterlude @v1ctimplagued @ofdrivensnow @fawnworked @everyoneismytoy @cava1ier @cnlyluck @luckhissoul @bakerscars @triicksters @unwaivering + ANYONE AND EVERYONE THIS IS A GOOD GOOD ONE. <3

#i'm feeling so sappy yall... thank you for tagging me in this #* filed under — ( ooc ) ( the director the writer the sap )

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1dont-really-know · 7 months

Text

Continuation to this. The Healer gets a proper name, plus a few more OCs appear.

~•~•~•~

She has found herself unable to sleep most of these nights. That was never a good sign.

The Healer sighs, running her hand through her hair for what felt like the thousandth time that day. She can feel her weariness starting to affect her work, and yet no matter what she does, she doesn't seem to be able to fall asleep. She sat there, on the edge of camp, feeling a headache start to form in her vertex.

If she was any other healer, exhaustion when sleep is not possible would be a very easily fixable problem. Just take an energy potion and everything would be fine until it's time for her to be sent home. But for her, it poses a far more complicated one. On one hand, the exhaustion is definitely impeding her ability to do her job, making her lose concentration and affecting her cognitive abilities as well, so just making a potion and drinking it would fix that. But on the other hand, she needs to sleep for her to be able to use her Unique Magic.

She fears what she would see when using it in times of war, but letting things happen when you know you could have had a chance to change the outcome… she fears that even more.

What's more, their stocks were getting low. She tried to buy medical supplies from nearby villages, but none had any in stock. She can't even afford the time to go forage for herbs, leaving Coriander to do most of it, much less taking the time to make potions that aren't healing potions. The scouts were about to return at any moment. If she left, she wasn't sure Coriander would be able to handle all of that.

"Ma'am,"

Ah, would you look at that. Speak of the devil.

Coriander walks up to her side, a cup of chamomile and mint tea in her hands. She takes one single look at the Healer, then sighs, placing the cup in the Healer's hands instead.

Chamomile and mint. Herbs that help with both insomnia and headaches. She taught her well.

"Any word on the scouts?" The Healer asks between sips of tea. She tries to remember the herbs that they needed to restock. Perhaps after they deal with this round of injuries, she can sneak a quick foraging run in and be back before any other attacks or battles happen.

Coriander shakes her head, "none that I've heard of. Their last correspondence was them telling us they'll be back soon, and even that was two days ago."

"Ah…"

A quick glance at the sky confirms her fears. A waning moon, mostly clear skies, with clouds only covering a select few constellations. Even the wind was about as strong as she remembered it to be, "well, stay alert. We never know when we'll be needed."

Her voice comes out a bit more nervously than she intended.

Coriander notices this as well, as she then turns to look at her, "you wouldn't be so on edge if you hadn't used the little bandages we had left on the General," though the younger fae's words were true, the Healer can't help but sigh, which only served to annoy Coriander even more, "now we're low on herbs and bandages. Seriously, what were you thinking?"

"Now is not the time to argue about this again," the Healer answered smoothly, her tone calm despite the defensiveness she felt, "they're going to arrive any minute. Gather the things we do have."

"But-"

"Please, Coriander."

Coriander goes silent. For a moment, they just stare at each other. A flash of horror crosses her face, a horror the Healer knows all too well, "is this… does someone…?" And she wishes the answer was no.

Instead, the Healer nods.

"Who?"

"I don't know," the Healer confesses, more apologetic than fearful, "I think it triggered from your emotional pain rather than the pain of the person themselves."

Coriander looked like she was ready to faint, and the Healer didn't blame her, "so it's someone I'm close with?"

The Healer looks at her apprentice with sympathy. With how young Coriander was, she had not yet seen death as much as the older healers have. It was bound to scar her, no matter what anyone did, "maybe. That's why I need you to get the cobwebs and yarrow powder. There's going to be a lot of blood. Save the healing potions for higher ranking officials," it was cruel, in a way, but it was inevitable. Shielding her from it would only cause more pain.

She just hopes that Coriander won’t blame herself no matter what the outcome may be.

~•~•~•~

On the positive side, no one ended up losing their life this time.

On the negative side, it’s going to take a while for the troops to recover, leaving them vulnerable to ambushes and attacks.

The Healer stares at the packed tent, wounded bodies and bloodied uniforms everywhere inside. They were lucky this time. The Silver Owls were just as caught off guard as they were. But now, they were all out of medical supplies. If push comes to shove, sure, she could use her magic to heal the troops, but at the same time, no matter how powerful she was, there was only so much she could do.

Still, she stares at them as if her gaze alone could heal them. That would make her job a lot easier, but she knows of no spell that could make that happen. She wishes she could have done more for them.

“Moonlight?”

Moonlight turns her head towards the source of the voice, finding Lilia walking towards her, an uncharacteristic look of concern on his face. She sighs, forcing herself to turn away from the injured scouts in the medical tent, “what is it?”

The frown on his face deepens. Before she could react, Lilia puts his hand on her forehead, checking her temperature, “you’re unwell,” he notes. Moonlight should have known if anyone apart from Maleanor could see through her, it would be Lilia.

“Just didn’t get a lot of sleep these past few days. It's nothing to worry about,” wrong thing to say, she realizes, as Lilia becomes even more visibly concerned.

“You’re our healer. We can’t afford for you to get sick. And no, don’t bring up Coriander. She’s an apprentice, while you’re fully trained.”

“Well maybe it’s a bad idea to only have two healers at a time, especially when one is barely an adult.”

“That’s not the problem right now,” Lilia is getting irritated, but so is Moonlight. He narrows his eyes at her, speaking in a low, commanding tone, one she had scarcely heard directed at her, “you have to take a sick leave.”

Moonlight blinks in surprise, all of her previous irritation morphing into pure confusion, “… what?”

“You heard me,” Lilia leans back, crossing his arms above his chest in such a way that reminds Moonlight of a child who thinks they have the upper hand in something, “as the General, I order you to take a sick leave,” he looks so sure of himself as well…

The absurdness of it all astounds her.

Snapping out of her confusion, Moonlight speaks hesitantly, not wanting to annoy him further but also trying to get her point across. It's not as if she thinks that the General does not value her opinion, nor that she doesn't value his, but, “Lilia, I don’t think that’s how that works,” briefly, she wonders if he had hit his head or something, "I'm the healer, I am the one with the authority to give people sick leave."

"Well I'm the General," Lilia shoots back, almost smugly, "you're technically under my command, therefore I can tell you to do whatever I want."

"That's an abuse of power, Lilia."

“I can always send a letter to Maleanor and tell her you’re overworking yourself again.”

… Damnit.

~•~•~•~

She shouldn't be doing this, she knew, but she couldn't just stand by and let everything happen.

The Healer had told Lilia that she would be going to Wild Rose Castle by herself, but that definitely isn't where she was now.

No. Currently, the Healer is looking around a village very far away from Wild Rose Castle, her horns and tail glamoured away, looking for a shop that sells medical supplies and potions. She adjusted her hood, making sure no one would recognize her amidst the bustling streets.

Her eyes fall on a particular shop, a few potions displayed in the front window. She can see a bottle with a light reddish liquid inside, recognizing it as a lower quality healing potion. It's not much, but it'll have to do. She knew she can either just note this village down on her map and go back to it later, immediately going to Wild Rose to do what she had promised Lilia she would do, or she can stay here for a bit longer, buy the supplies she needs, and then go to Wild Rose.

She had never been one who was particularly fond of following orders.

She takes a final look around, making sure no one was watching her, before quickly ducking into the store.

The first thing she noticed upon entering the store was the strong scent of herbs. The shelves were packed to the point of overflowing with them, ranging from common herbs used for cooking to herbs she hadn’t seen before out of her own garden-hoard. Perfect. She had packed quite a bit of money just in case.

“Oh? A customer!" Came a cheery voice, though she couldn't quite make out where it came from,"Please wait a moment, I’ll be there in a second,” a crash, “feel free to look around in the meantime!”

The sudden voice startled her, and she looked around the shop again. There’s a shape moving around in the back of the shop, seemingly having just got out of a door she hadn’t noticed earlier. There’s an odd familiarity to that voice…

The Healer shakes her head to clear it, internally berating herself to have been caught by surprise, “yes, take your time,” she mumbles out the words, realizing too late that a human wouldn’t have been able to hear her. Wonderful.

She still can’t shake the familiarity she felt from that voice.

The person rustles around in the back of the shop for a few more moments, during which her suspicions grow, before a head of light blonde hair shows itself in front of her.

Those sky blue eyes, slightly pointed ears, not quite as sharp as those of a Fae…

“Altair?”

Altair blinks, just as surprised to see her as she is to see him.

“Malva?”

~•~•~•~

Her eyes fall on Wild Rose Castle, feeling a creeping sense of dread crawling up her spine. The guards greet her, allowing her to enter without a problem. Where’s Maleanor? She didn’t even know if she wanted to see her sister or not. Her ears strain to hear something, anything that would indicate Maleanor's whereabouts, but there was nothing.

Had Lilia sent one of his bats to ask Maleanor if she had arrived? Had Maleanor even read the letter if so?

Has something happened to her?

The Healer had bought the supplies she needed from Altair and sent it back to Coriander before rushing to Wild Rose, but the possibility of being too late gnaws at her conscience.

She wouldn’t say that she was scared of Maleanor, but the older dragon fae had always been more… intense, than she was. So she assures herself that if something had happened, the whole castle would have gone down with her sister.

Her footsteps halt as she finally hears something whilst she stood in the middle of the stairs.

"-The light of the stars…”

Tap tap tap tap-

“‘Leanor!”

A flash of thunder lights the room, and Malva steps away from it quickly. In front of her stood Maleanor, a black egg cradled in her arms; the heir to the throne.

“Don’t you have any modicum of politeness?! Who gave you the right to intrude on my time with my egg?!”

Another flash of lightning, and this time Malva was too slow to completely dodge, leading to her robe being singed. She casts a spell, summoning a protective bubble around her to keep her from being completely roasted by the older princess's fury. Despite everything, she laughs at her sister's greeting, “Sister, how happy I am to see you!” she grins at Maleanor, relief flooding her senses. This definitely was Maleanor. Nothing had happened to her. Both she and the egg were safe.

Maleanor glares, but eventually calms down, though she’s still visibly annoyed at her, “I had thought you died on the way here, yet you seem to be walking on your own two feet just fine,” she muses, watching as Malva dissipates the shield and starts to walk towards her, “Lilia had said something about you being sick?”

Malva shrugs, trying not to look Maleanor in the eyes to avoid the scrutinizing gaze that she's definitely looking at her with right now, “couldn’t sleep the last few days. You know how it is sometimes,” she said as she approaches the egg, patting it gently, to which Maleanor rolls her eyes.

“Your Unique Magic?”

“Exactly.”

A beat of silence passes between them before Maleanor speaks up again, taking another step towards her, “who is it this time?”

Malva shakes her head. She had wished once that there would never be a need for her Unique Magic, yet now it's one of the main things her people need from her, her healing abilities pushed to the back of her people's minds and her as a person pushed even further behind. But despite everything, her people will see her as their second princess first and foremost, “no one you nor I know personally. The trigger was because it was someone my apprentice was close with. Her emotional pain, I mean. No casualties.”

If only that were the case every time.

As if reading her mind, Maleanor gestures with her tail for Malva to follow her. They make their way to the older princess's chambers, their steps quiet as they traverse the castle halls. For a moment, Malva wonders if Maleanor thinks badly about her for not being able to stop the things that had befell them from happening. She had failed in preventing what happened to Levan, after all.

Levan. Malva's brother-in-law, Maleanor's one and only.

Malva wonders if she would ever find hers.

Malva wonders if their story would end the same as her sister's. A punishment for the things she failed to do; the people she failed to protect.

She thinks it would be a fitting punishment.

"Have you had any other visions other than the one with your little apprentice's friend?"

Malva flinches at the sound of Maleanor's voice. She glances at her, trying to make out her emotions, but Maleanor's face is unreadable. "No. As I've said, I haven't been able to sleep."

Maleanor just hums. Malva doesn't know what to think about that.

They reach the older princess's chambers, and Maleanor opens the door and lets them inside. She sets the egg down on the bed, fussing over it for a bit.

Meanwhile, Malva studies the room with her eyes. It has changed a lot since the last time she's been there. It was to be expected, really, considering it's technically now Maleanor and Levan's room rather than only Maleanor's room. Malva remembers the days where she was still a hatchling, hiding under her sister's blankets while playing a game of hide and seek with her.

How time has flown.

Still.

"Why did you bring me here?" No matter how much she wished to stay in the past, time moves on. Malva stares at her sister, then at the egg. The future of their kingdom. And suddenly, Malva knew Maleanor didn't need to answer her.

"I think you know."

Malva steps closer, sitting beside the egg, on the opposite side of Maleanor. She stares at the egg for a moment, hesitantly raising her hand and placing it over the fragile shell, "how do you know I'll be able to protect them?"

After all, she had failed to save so many people before. Neither death nor time discriminates against those which they claim, no matter what anyone does.

Maleanor looks into her younger sister's eyes, and much to Malva's surprise, she sees no contempt in her gaze, "because you're my sister. I trust you."

"I couldn't stop what happened to Levan." Malva reminds her, though her tail reaches for hers nevertheless, "not even my own body is being kind to me, not letting me rest, not letting me sleep, not letting me see. My sight is veiled by darkness, 'Leanor. I cannot see my own future, much less your child's."

Their tails twine. They hadn't been this vulnerable with each other since Malva was a hatchling. Maleanor was centuries older than she was, and so their time together had always been cut short by Maleanor's lessons and events. Yet still, she was glad to see their bond remained.

There's a distinct lack of haughtiness when Maleanor speaks to her. "You're my sister," she starts, putting a hand over Malva's, "a Draconia by blood and by birthright. But let's be honest with ourselves, neither of us are truly immortal. If anything happened to me-"

"Nothing is going to happen to you."

Malva was surprised that she had had the courage to cut her off like that, but now that she started, she can't seem to stop. "You're going to be alright. Your egg is going to be alright. You're- you're gonna raise them well, and then you'll be Queen, and then you'll pass on the throne to your child and then-"

"For someone who claims to not be able to see the future, you seem incredibly sure of mine."

Malva grits her teeth.

Maleanor continues, "even if everything ends up fine, there will still be people who hate my child. There will be people who will want him dead. So if anything were to happen to me," she raises her hand before Malva could protest again, "if anything happened to me, you would be best suited to protect him."

The two sisters sit in silence. Two pairs of green eyes staring into each other.

"I'm not going to be able to do this alone, 'Leanor."

A laugh broke through the tense atmosphere of the room, and Maleanor smiles- or rather smirks at her sister, "that's the first time I've heard you admit that in centuries."

Malva sighs and rolls her eyes, though her hand remains on top of the egg, "yes, well, I had never really planned on having to be the one to raise your child." The mostly smooth surface of the egg calms her, and for a single, weak moment, she considers giving in to Maleanor's demands. "But I'll have to remove the one I have- had on Levan. And I can't even guarantee that my Unique Magic will work on an egg. Are you alright with that?"

If she does, they'll likely never find out what happened to Levan. They will never find out if he's still alive or not.

Much to her surprise, Maleanor nods, "do what you must," she says, and Malva doesn't miss the slight somberness of her words.

Summoning all her willpower, ignoring the sadness that seeps into her heart, Malva starts to chant.

"The new day is in the horizon,

filled with endless unknowns,

but with you,

we'll find a way back home.

Hush now,

let yourself dream,

and be at ease among the stars

of the Night's Serenity."

Star-like sparks flew around them, swirling and gathering into a dense cloud of stardust-

Before slowly sinking down and getting absorbed by the egg.

It worked.

Malva blinks, surprised.

Meanwhile, Maleanor smiles softly at the egg, picking them up into her arms again and talking to them as if they were an infant, "there you go, my little prince. Your Aunt Malva will protect you from now on, isn't that wonderful?" She continues to coo and gush at the egg, all the while her tail flicks behind her delightedly.

Despite everything, this was a truly wonderful moment. At least to Malva.

Malva smiles genuinely at the mother-child duo, choosing to burn the image into her memory as best as she can. She never knows when this will end, after all. "So our next ruler after you is going to be a king?" She hums thoughtfully, still smiling her genuine smile, "He's going to be a wonderful king. I'm sure of it."

"Oh but he's just so wonderful already!" Maleanor says happily, cuddling the egg close to her chest, "just you wait, he's going to come out the most handsome being in this world, just like Levan!"

Briefly, Malva wonders if all parents are like this or if this is just Maleanor being Maleanor.

Feeling like she's intruding on a special moment, the younger dragon fae gets up to leave, but a steady limb pulls her back onto the mattress. "Oh no you don't," Maleanor. Who else could it be, really. "Go to sleep. Don't think I've forgotten about you staying up for weeks on end just to tend to the soldiers."

"I'm not a hatchling anymore, 'Leanor," Malva pouts, even when she knows it would only make her look more like a hatchling to her sister, "I don't need nap times."

Maleanor rolls her eyes, plopping herself down next to Malva, the egg nestled safely in her arms, "you act like one." was the only response Malva got from her.

Malva sighs, letting herself get comfortable on the bed while her sister continues to coddle the egg, "let's just hope I don't see anything about you or the egg, this time." She mumbles. She shifts to face her, feeling the welcoming heaviness of sleep slowly seep into her bones. It was a pleasant feeling after so many days and nights of zero rest.

But before she falls asleep, she hears Maleanor speak to the egg,

"Yes, her and Lilia will protect and love you no matter what! You'll grow up to be a fine young man, and maybe you'll have some little cousins as well!"

…Maleanor, what the hell.

~•~•~•~

Word count : 3733

#twst lilia vanrouge #twst #lilia vanrouge #twst lilia #twisted wonderland #whisper's writings #maleanor draconia #meleanor draconia #twst meleanor #twst oc #twst oc x canon

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classificationhell · 2 months

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How do you think both Lucifers, Alastor, and Vox would handle the reader being so caught up working on something (a job, artwork, cleaning, anything) and suddenly realising she hasn't had any food yet (I do this more then i care to admit. Put my energy into something, and then all of a sudden, it's 6pm, and all i had was water) Not done on purpose or for an insecurity issue, but the reader is just distracted by the task that eating never came into their mind.

Alastor can understand being so invested in a project that you neglect your own needs, however, that doesn't means he condones it. In fact, he will try his best to keep up with his own schedule just so he can help you with yours since you two eat meals together. Of course he won't expect you to eat like he does, but he will likely make your meals from the same venison he's eating. He won't make meals with sinner corpses for you unless you express interest in such a thing.

Vox-

Has the same exact fucking problem. Why do you think he goes to get fast food so much? It's decent, cheap, and fast. He can grab a burger, drink, and fries for less than ten bucks in under five minutes. He'd be insane not to utilize that. A staple in his, and consequently, your diet is definitely whatever hell's equivalent of McDonald's or Burger King is. He will start setting alarms for when to eat, and grab you one of those cups with the time on it to show how much water you should've drank at which time if all else fails he's getting you a watch set to go off every so many minutes for you to drink.

Lucifer-

Ah, the old you're so busy making something that your hyperfixation blocks out any and all need for sleep, food, and water. He knows that, which is why he knows most attempts to just tell you to be more careful will be useless and he'll just periodically come in with a glass of water or a snack and refuse to move until it's drunk or eaten.

Mourningstar-

He's not taking it very well. He doesn't want to take away what makes you happy, but clearly it's bad for you. Will set and enforce scheduling with very little room for compromise. That or you're painting or doing whatever while he feeds you and brings a straw to your lips.

Vox and Val 2p

Hehe yeah no, they're not playing with your health. Vox will hypnotize you away from your work if necessary to give you a break and time to eat and drink. To you it'll be as if you blacked out for a bit. No harm no foul.

Fizzarolli and Asmodeus will try talking to you about your habits and work with you to form better ones. Fizzarolli had the exact same problem but his hyperfixation was practicing and perfecting everything about his craft as an entertainer.

#ask response #classification hell au #classificationhell #thank you #lore adjacent #reactions #lucifer mourningstar #alastor reaction #vox reaction #vox 2p #valentino 2p #fizzarozzie #fizzmodeus

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duhragonball · 1 year

Text

Dragon Ball Super 116

GOKU VS. KEFLA: THE FINAL ROUND

youtube

This is it! The climactic conclusion of the best fight in Dragon Ball Super! There must be a winner!

Against all odds, Goku has somehow tapped into Autonomous Ultra Instinct for a second time! Whis never dreamed he would figure it out ever again, much less a few minutes after the first time! So Kefla’s doomed, right? Well don’t write her off yet. Kefla’s still got a lot left in the tank. For example, she decides to see Goku’s Ultra Instinct and raise him Super Saiyan 2! Well, that might not sound like a big deal, but when a Fused Saiyan does it, it means a lot.

And there’s the abs. When I got to these episodes, I was kind of shocked by how skinny Kefla was in her base form, and then she went Super Saiyan and bulked up, but not as much as I remembered. Now at SSJ2, she’s starting to look more like I remembered. The key to this is that she’s combining Caulifla’s SSJ and SSJ2 forms with Kale’s Legendary Super Saiyan form, which gets more muscular the stronger she becomes. So I guess they had to start with a pretty skinny Kefla, because they couldn’t have her beef up as big as Kale, or that would defeat the idea of it being a fusion with a smaller character.

Oh this is a really cool shot of the arena.

So it’s pretty much like we saw the last time Goku used this power. Jiren couldn’t touch him, and neither can Kefla now. And it’s not for lack of trying. As strong as Kefla is, I think there’s a solid argument that she could give Jiren a run for his money.

Okay, I think her hair tie is gone now, the same way Kale always loses hers when she transforms. Kefla’s hair has always confused me so just knowing that there’s been a hair tie involved is a relief.

Meanwhile, Vegeta watches Goku playing the artful dodger and he finally gets a clue: this was the ideal style that Whis told them about in Resurrection F. Vegeta’s all mad that Goku went and surpassed him again. Sure, Vegeta, he did it just to spite you, because that’s what everything is about, after all.

Here’s a cool spot where Kefla flies after Goku who falls off the side of a cliff, and then he digs his heels into the rock and leans back so Kefla can’t hit him. Wild.

Or, rather, he does this so he can hit her. But that’s the trick, you see....

As powerful as Goku has become in this state, he’s mostly only able to use it for defense. Kefla can’t even touch Goku, but on the other hand, Goku’s attacks aren’t nearly as strong as Kefla was expecting. He makes a little headway with it, but he’s still not hitting her hard enough to defeat her. And maybe he could take his time with this and wear her down, but he doesn’t have that long. The UI power could wear off any second now.

As Whis explains to the others, even those who can use Ultra Instinct have trouble using it offensively. Goku’s problem is that he’s still having to use his brain to tell his body how to attack, and that interferes with his body acting autonomously for defense. That’s why his attacks are so weak. And if he doesn’t figure out a solution soon, he’ll run out of juice and Kefla will win.

So Goku calls his shot: He’s going to end this fight with one more attack.

Kefla doesn’t take kindly to this, and ramps up her power even further. Now she’s shooting concentrated ki blasts in every direction, and they rip up everything they touch.

She just starts slinging all this red shit everywhere, and Goku hops and flips through it as he moves in closer to her...

And the whole time, he’s chargin’ up...

Kefla’s just screaming and cackling like a maniac. I really have to hand it to the dub VA’s for this, Elizabeth Maxwell (Caulifla) and Dawn Bennet (Kale). DBS was the first time I ever watched a Dragon Ball series in Japanese first, and I was curious how the dub would handle the new characters, and I’m really pleased with Kefla’s manic energy. They nailed it.

She keeps firing red lasers, but Goku’s getting closer and closer... Finally he jumps toward her, ready to fire...

Ah, but that plays right into her hands! Remember, no flying in the Tournament of Power, so now that Goku’s jumping at her, he can’t steer or dodge! So now she can concentrate all that power she was slinging around every direction, and aim it right at him!

THE POWER OF...!

CHRISTMAAAAAASSSSS!

But then Goku just does this sweet midair flip and skates along the front of her blast, using his ki ball like a weird little skateboard!

HOW THE FUCK IS HE DOING THIS?!

KALE LOOKS UP AND SHE’S LIKE “AWWWWW SHIT!”

HAPPY...!

HANUKKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Kefla gets blasted through the stage! Then her Potara shatter, and coincidentally...

... the Fusion dissolves, and so it’s Caulifla and Kale who tumble to the bench!

They’re OUT.

Kale apologizes for losing, while Caulifla cries out for revenge. Yes! Fight Goku again! Give us Kefla/Goku II! Make it happen!

So now Team Universe 6 is down to just two fighters: Saonel and Pilina. They vow to win, but come on. What chance could they have?

Meanwhile, that last round with Kefla finally got Jiren’s attention. At least he’s not meditating like he planned to do for the second half.

As for Goku, he’s tapped out all over again. I guess it’s a net positive, since at least this time around he won a fight with Ultra Instinct instead of eating a super punch from Jiren. But still, if he plans to defeat Jiren, he’ll have to do Ultra Instinct a third time, and can he even handle that? Well, those are matters for later episodes. As for this one, what else can I say but:

This was a brilliant finish to a classic fight. A lot of dumbasses out there were only happy to see Caulifla and Kale eliminated from the competition because they hated those two. But discerning Caulifla and Kale likers, such as myself, know the truth, that Episodes 113-116 were a bona fide barn-burner, and the best of what Dragon Ball Super had to offer. Show me a fight in GT that came anywhere close to this. No, don’t bother, because I already watched GT recently, and I have 65 haikus that say there isn’t one.

I’ll admit, there have been times where I thought this liveblog was a mistake, because most of the stuff I’ve been covering has been pretty weak. A lot of it is downright terrible. But I knew the Tournament of Power would cheer me up, and that these four episodes in particular would really cheer me up, and I was right. It’s like all the frustration and regret from before has metled away. There’s 15 episodes of Super left to go, and I’m refreshed and ready to tackle ‘em!

Well, later, I think.

#dragon ball #dragon ball super #2023dbapocryphaliveblog #tournament of power #goku #kefla #caulifla #kale #113-116 are the best episodes

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selenacosmic · 10 months

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An idol and his makeup artist.

This isn’t a series, just a oneshot of an idea I just had.

If there is one advice I would give to any makeup artist…

Don’t work for idols.

I know, saying this may sound like they would be the worst to work with, but that isn’t the case. At least, not in my case… I have studied different styles of makeup for a long time, so to put my work on someone who will perform and be admired by thousands of people fills me with pride. And, in a way, makes me feel important. Then, what is the true problem with working for an idol as their makeup artist? Well…

“Cut! I believe this second shot was a lot better. Take a 5 minute break to fix the makeup.” I heard the director shout, which immediately pulled me out of my thoughts. The lights towards the set were turned off and so was the music.

Right at this moment, the most recently famous group of idols “serViceS” were filming their second music video. They had debuted not too long ago and yet they had built a large amount of fans in less than a week. Perhaps that had something to do with the theme their group had. Just like their name, this idol group had the intention to ‘serve’ their fans with compliments, sweet words and love songs. I joined the staff for this group at their debut, and I can’t say that I don’t feel lucky to be part of the makeup artists, but…

I don’t think my heart can handle being around these men, specially the one that I am in charge of.

“Ah, filming for two hours straight truly can be tiring. But knowing that I will have this angel taking care of me, even if for only five minutes, all my fadigue fades away.” I hear that melodic voice coming closer, I sigh to myself to calm down. When it comes to him, I need to be patient.

I quickly pulled my mask up in case anyone with a camera came close to film him while he is getting ready for the next shots, already holding a towel in my hands to wipe his sweat.

“I am not taking care of you, I am only making sure you look perfect for the video.” Despite me trying my best to be dismissive, this man really didn’t need me to do much for him to be perfect.

All the members of this group were perfect, but this one was different. The idol in question is called Shingen Takeda, a man that is known for having the mature charm of the group and the one who is the most flirty. When I first joined the makeup crew, I truly wondered if his personality was only an act for the public, which is very normal for idols. Actually, I expected that from all of them, considering that they all act very sweetly and affectionate on stage. What baffled me is that this isn’t an act.

I frowned as I patted his face with the towel, a bit frustrated that his makeup got messed up from the sweat, and… you know, this man is way taller than me. Five minutes really isn’t enough to redo everything and give the idol time to rest, it makes me wonder how he manages to have so much energy in him. Probably sensing my frustration, Shingen lowered his face down to help me reach him easier. “Better, Angel?” He asked with that infuriatingly handsome smile on his face.

“Yes, thanks…”

“I hate to make you work all over again on my makeup, but sweating while filming this is inevitable.” I knew it wasn’t his fault, and it’s not like I had to do much for his makeup. Rather, I felt more worried than anything.

“Don’t worry about it, i will try to finish this quickly.” After I was done cleaning his face, I started doing small retouches to his makeup, trying to ignore the awkward position we were in.

His face is too close..!

“Something wrong, angel?” He asked with a look of concern, he probably sensed me being nervous. I shook my head and lightly pushed him away, I was lucky that my mask was hiding my blushing cheeks. I looked away from him to calm my heart, it’s hard to be able to hold his gaze.

“Your makeup is done. It’s not like it took me too long.” He was perfect already, I barely had to do anything.

Shingen smiled again, I could sense his teasing gaze towards me. This man can notice anything it sometimes scares me, but I am lucky he doesn’t push his teasing too far.

“You work very hard to make me look my best, I can’t be more thankful to you than I am right now.” What is this man talking about now? When I looked up to look at his face, his previous teasing smile was now a gentle gaze. That… caught me off guard.

“What… I am just doing my job, nothing impressive about that.” Before I could move away, I felt his hand gently patting my head. This… would feel really awkward in any other occasion, but luckily no one was looking our way. Is he doing this because of how small I am when compared to him? “A-anyway, before you go back, here.” I shoved a cup I bought on my way to work, it was a caramel Frappuccino, his favorite.

He seemed taken aback by my gift, I couldn’t look him in the eyes due to my embarrassment. I just wanted to do something nice since he worked so hard on his career.

“Selena, I hope you continue being my makeup artist in the future.” He happily took the drink from me, drinking it with delight. I crossed my arms and huffed.

“Right, remember to do a good job if you want more of th-“ before I could finish my sentence, I felt him pulling down my mask to kiss my cheek. That certainly left me speechless.

“Then, I must do my best to receive more of my angel’s blessings.” With that, he walked away while drinking his sweet beverage. Meanwhile I was left there with cheeks more red than strawberries.

Yeah… don’t work with idols, specially idols like Shingen. Your heart might not be able to handle it.

#ikemen sengoku #ikesen #ikemen sengoku shingen #ikesen shingen

16 notes · View notes

klm-zoflorr · 5 months

Text

Incorrect quotes..... Parthogenesis

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Eren: This revenge shit is very unrewarding it turns out. I have lost all my friends and am devoid of the sweet sweet burn of anger now that I've accomplished my goal. Everybody hates me. I'm not allowed less than 50 meters from a government building. Help.

Armin: I TOLD YOU SO!

Eren: Well, good for you!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Commander Magath: *driving down the road*

Hange, driving up the same road: *yelling out the window as she passes him* PIG!

Commander Magath: *yelling back at Hange* BITCH!

Commander Magath: *rounding next curb, he crashes into a hug pig in the middle of the road and dies*

Ymir Fritz, watching on: Ah, if men would just listen

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Sasha: "sex" literally isn't real. "ohhh i just had sex" you "had" sex? where did it go? did it grow legs and run away?? idiot

Marcoco: Stop saying sex when what you mean is gender!!

Connie: I had gender with your mom

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Mikasa: Are you sure this is legal?

Annie: Why, are you taping this?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Hange: God I do not like a single thing about you

Zeke: Tell me more

Hange: This isn't sexting

Zeke: It's better than sexting tbh

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

*Mikasa getting ready for her date with Eren*

Levi: Tell him if he breaks your heart, I'll nail gun his.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Eren: Your future self is talking shit about you right now.

Annie: Joke's on her. I'll ruin her fucking life.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Jean: Connie, Sasha! How could you possibly have gotten into this much trouble in one day?!

Connie: It... It didn't take us the whole day...

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Hange: The bad news is you've lost a lot of blood

Sasha: What's the good news?

Hange: Well we've found most of it!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Grisha: *Calling the doctor* My wife is going into labor what do I do I have forgotten all of my medical training

Doctor on the other end of the call: Is this her first child?

Grisha: No this is her husband

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Kuchel: You are so incredibly full of issues, you should do something about it! Go see a shrink, I don't know!

Kenny Ackerman: Oh yes!

Kenny: I've always been a big fan of head shrinking!

Kuchel: That's not-... That's not what it means...

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Falco: Why is "dark" spelled with a K and not a C?

Zofia: Why not?

Falco: Because you can't "C" in the dark...

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Kenny, at the therapist: Well, that is disappointing

Therapist: What is?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Levi, at Mikasa's funeral: I need a moment with her... Alone. Please.

Everyone: Of course. *They leave*

Levi, leaning over Mikasa′s coffin: Okay, listen here you little shit. I'm not fooled by your cadaver palor and unnatural stillness. I know you’re not dead.

Mikasa: Yeah, no shit.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Connie: Me and Annie, we get along fine in my beat up honda civic. We just don't have room to disagree.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Sasha: It's been hard not having Ymir around. I never thought I'd miss being waterboarded so much.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

*Annie and Porco on their first day as coast guards*

Boss: 7 people died on your watch today

Annie, looking off into the distance: Yes but the coast is fine

Porco:

Boss:

Porco: They were all very mean and refused to tip. So, we just threw them back in the water.

Annie: Also you only found seven. We killed a lot more.

Porco: Yeah, but you didn't have to mention that tho

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Therapist: Kenny, you have a problem verbalising your emotions

Kenny: Can't say I'm surprised

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Hange: Love the train so much.... ...... I sit... ..... It goes........ ........ We arrive!!!!!

Connie: I understand that, but it still doesn't explain why we get to carry all the rails in 40 degree* weather while you sit in the shade and drink a monster energy on the rocks

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Carla: Can I have a private talk with you?

Grisha: Sure, as long as it’s not about tampons, because I just don’t understand them.

Hannes, wearing tampons as earplugs: How? It's so obvious what they're used for!

Carla: I asked for a PRIVATE talk with him!

Grisha: Oh, you just can't separate me and Hannes. We're a package deal!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Eren: Don't you think you're being a little dramatic about me letting your cactus die?

Floch: Dramatic? Perhaps a little.

Floch: Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to look out the window with a grimly satisfied expression.

Floch: I paid this skywriter a lot of money to write “Eren likes pineapple on pizza” in the clouds.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Levi: The sexual tension between me and self-destruction

Kenny: Nothing has sexual tension with you, kid

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Eren: You can diffuse any situation by saying, "are we about to kiss, right now?"

Historia: Eren, not only is that completely false and a ridiculous concept, but it's also not appropriate at all, we are at your trial for global genocide for fuck's sake-

Eren, leaning towards her: Are we about to kiss, right now?

Historia:

Historia, beet red: Nevermind.

Gabi: Can we PLEASE find another judge for this?!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Jean: I've got a joke for you. What's "Ereh" short for?

Armin: What for?

Jean: He's got little legs

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Annie: Im a lesbiab

Annie: Lesbiam

Annie: Less bien

Mikasa: Its okay take ur time

Annie: Girls

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Mikasa: Annie and me buried the hatchet, figured you could try doing the same?

Ymir: I don't bury hatchets

Ymir: I sharpen them.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Eren: I don't like being an adult

Carla: Yup I told you

Eren: You remember how you told me you put me in this world and you can take me out?

Eren: Take me out.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Mikasa: So, you want to be the Sun in my life?

Jean: Yes.

Mikasa: Good, then stay 92,935,700 miles away from me

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Mikasa: Eren, stop! This isn't you, you've gone mad with power!

Eren: Well of course I have.

Eren: Have you ever tried going mad without power?

Eren: It's boring.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Ymir: Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves. One for your foe, one for yourself.

Zeke: What a stupid fucking quote. I'm killing way more than two people idiot

Eren: Don't even bury them. Let them rot.

Zeke: Plus it's not like I'm gonna bury myself anyways? Why would I provide free cleaning labor like that

Eren: Maybe you're supposed to die in the grave?

Zeke: I'm not gonna dig myself a grave so someone can push me in and I can die as the biggest idiot that ever walked this Earth

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Udo, watching Gabi: If you were religious, that would be straight-to-hell behavior...

Gabi, putting scorpions in Zeke's dresser after he called her a shitty little kid: I don't believe in heaven or hell, but I do believe in Revenge

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Armin, about Eren: If karma doesn't hit you real quick, I fucking will.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Falco: You know how in greek myths the people that die tragically sometimes get placed among the stars by the gods?

Colt: Yeah?

Falco: Call that a constellation prize.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Sasha, taking care of Reiner after he got injured: It's okay Braus, stay calm, stay calm

Reiner: My name isn't Braus, it's Braun

Sasha: I know, I'm talking to myself.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

*Pieck sliding $5 to the zookeeper*

Pieck: Maybe one of those penguins ends up in my car?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Historia: Fun fact: Blueberries are the only fruit named after a color

Armin: Starfruit

Historia: So close! That's a shape <33

Mikasa: Orange

Historia: Try again! <3 The color orange is named after the fruit.

Connie: Grape! "Gra" for gray! 🍇🤲😊

Historia:

Jean: You also forgot blackberries

Sasha: You idiot, black isn't a color.

Gabi: What about raspberries

Ymir: Green beans?

Falco: Lemons!! ♥️🥰☺️

Reiner: Wait aren't berries not fruit?

Historia: You all are so fucking stupid.

Zeke: What about dragon fruit

Historia: I am going to stone you

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Mikasa: Are oranges named orange because oranges are orange or is orange called orange because oranges are orange?

Connie: Which came first, the orange or the orange?

Historia: Orange was first used to refer to the fruit 1280 years ago but was not used as a color until around 1000 years ago.

Eren: What was the color called before then?

Sasha: There was no color, duh! Everything was black and white!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Hitch: "I'm kind of in a weird mental place right now" I say, as if there are times when I am not in a weird mental place

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Erwin, bleary eyed at 7am: Why are you opening all the windows?

Levi: We have to let air in

Erwin: But it's raining!

Levi: You're not made out of sugar, are you?!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

*Eren getting into Mikasa's car*

Eren: Let's go

Mikasa: Uh... Uh... Hi? Nice to see you too?

*Armin getting into the backseat*

Armin: Wait, she's our Uber driver?

Mikasa: Uber driver? I thought we were going on a date, Eren!

Armin: I thought this was a guy's night out!

Eren: There's been a change of plans.

Mikasa: You could have just asked?? You didn't have to trick us?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Porco: I'm not a 🚩 i'm more like a ⚠️ cause I do warn you, you just don't be listening

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Pieck: I'm not a 🚩 I'm a 🏁 cause you winnin' over there

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Hange: I don’t know the first thing about fashion. Pretty much all I can do is look at something and tell you if it’s clothes or not. This titan? Not clothes.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

*Thru the phone*

Erwin: Hey, I need your help, can you come back?

Hange: Uh, I can't, I'm buying clothes.

Erwin: Alright, well hurry up and come back to base.

Hange: I can't find them.

Erwin: What do you mean you can't find them?

Hange: I can't find them, there's only soup.

Erwin: What do you mean there's only soup?

Hange: It means there's only soup!

Erwin: Well then get out of the soup aisle!

Hange: Alright you don't have to shout at me!

*Silence*

Hange: There's more soup!

Erwin: What do you mean there's more soup?

Hange: There's just more soup!

Erwin: Go into the next aisle!

Hange: There's still soup!

Erwin: Where are you right now?

Hange: I'm at soup!

Erwin: What do you mean you're "at soup?"

Hange: I mean I'm at soup!

Erwin: What store are you in?

Hange: I'm at the soup store!

Erwin: Why are you buying clothes at the soup store?!

Hange: Fuck you!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Zeke: And then we'll be transported to the Paths dimension, and we'll meet Ymir Fritz, that's our long-dead ancestor...

Eren: I can barely tolerate the living, why would I want to commute with the dead?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Armin: Does necromancy only work on animals? What do you do if you accidentally necromancy a fence and then it starts growing branches?

Armin: WHAT DO YOU DO IF YOU NECROMANCY A BOTTLE OF SHAMPOO AND IT TURNS INTO AN ENTIRE PILE OF LIMES?

Armin: What if I accidentally necromancy a vaccine and then someone gets an armful of very live pathogen?

Armin: WHAT'S THE LIMIT ON DEADNESS? HOW RECENTLY DOES SOMETHING HAVE TO BE DEAD? COULD I NECROMANCY A DINOSAUR FOSSIL? WHAT IF I NECROMANCIED THE GROUND AND THEN DINOSAURS STARTED APPEARING?

Armin: WHAT IF I NECROMANCIED A LIMESTONE WALL AND IT JUST TURNED INTO A PILE OF MOLLUSCS? WHAT IF I MOLLUSCED A BUILDING? A MOUNTAIN?

Annie: Armin.

Annie: are u ok

Armin: NO

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Colt's contributions to meetings: What about the impact on civilian populations? Do we have enough ammunition, provisions in storage to not rely on outside help?

Falco's contributions to meetings: Do you think stars have feelings?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Grisha: It's been ten year since my beloved son Zeke died...

Zeke: I was never your beloved son! And quit telling people I'm dead!

Grisha: Sometimes it feels like I can still hear his voice...

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Historia: *wearing a shirt reading "cunt era"*

Eren: *wearing a shirt reading "I'm high as fuck and have a gun in my backpack"*

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Grisha: The bad news is that you have a really rare disease

Rod Reiss: Oh, no. What's the good news?

Grisha: Well, you get to name it!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Eren: What's a good starter vice for someone who wants to get into ruining their life?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Gabi: Smarties

Yelena: Heroin and mass murder

Levi: You're both at very different ends of the spectrum yet I don't think either of you understood the question

Levi: The real answer is Erwin Smith

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Zeke, getting up in the middle of a meeting: Pieck and I are not longer dating

Pieck: Zeke, that's a horrible way to tell people that we got married

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Zeke: My mother and I spent some quality time together. Got our hands dirty.

Pieck: Gardening?

Zeke: Grave-digging.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Historia: Food trucks but instead of food, it's therapy and they're called automofeels

Rod Reiss: I know you're my last living descendant but with that kind of suggestions, I feel like I'd be better off picking a manged rat off the street

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Floch: If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're impressed.

Yelena: But you do know better.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Eren: I wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where I rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed

Sasha: a dentist

Eren: I don't know what your dentist is doing to you but I think you need to go to the police

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

*Pieck is coming back with McDonalds*

Zeke, reaching for his happy meal: Sorry, but there's no "we" in "fries"

Pieck: But there is an "I" *she steals all of his fries*

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Jean: Well, if you're not at least a little bit gay for your friends, then what kind of friend are you?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Mikasa: The feminine urge to be ominous & terrifying...

Hange: Mood

Mikasa: You are like if a moth was wearing clown shoes.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Eren: A fun fact about me is i have never forgiven anyone for anything

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Bertholt: Have you ever been told you can be a bit intimidating?

Annie: Yes, every day of my life since kindergarten.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Sasha: Being alive is great because there are so many different great vegetables you can sauté. But then there are also The Horrors

Falco: So true

Falco: Actually no. This is weird.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Uri Reiss: What is a sex drive where is the sex going does it even have a licence

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Levi, to Erwin: You're gay because you like men

Levi: I'm gay because I hate women just a tiny bit more than I hate men. We are not the same.

Hange: Yaoi vs shounen

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Annie: What’s it like being tall?

Historia: Is it nice?

Armin: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards?

Reiner: I live in constant fear of the short people, who, in my experience, will climb four chairs, two boxes, a small coffee table, and six oddly placed stools to get what they want.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Eren: I don't know whether to bail you out, Mikasa, you've been in jail three times.

Zeke: Dad, Eren is cheating.

Grisha: Calm down, son.

Zeke: You are supporting him just because he bought you a hotel on Park Place

Eren: Someone has to take care of him in his old age? Who is going to do it but me? You?

Mikasa: *slyly knocks the Monopoly board off the table😼*

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Reiner: Hey girl ive been yearning for you the normal amount

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Grisha: Great. Here comes the woke mob to cancel me for killing and eating several people.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

The 104th, Hange, Erwin, Levi, Grisha, Carla, Hannes wearing party hats, popping confetti cannons and cheering: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Eren: Uh. Thanks I guess?

Historia: You don't like being celebrated?

Eren: I prefer to be villified, my name invoking fear over a great cloud of darkness...

Carla: Muffins, Overlord?

Eren: Thamk you

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Connie: I like you lets go to hell together

Sasha: Hell? More like HELL P!! Ahah

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Rod Reiss: We need back-up with the military police!! Are you free?

Kenny: No actually, I am very expensive.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Connie: Since when are drapes flammable?

Historia: Since always, Connie! Drapes have ALWAYS BEEN FLAMMABLE!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Mikasa: I have yet to encounter a problem where a sword didn't factor into the solution at least in some way.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Parental figure: Don't go into the forest, it's full of lemon-stealing whores!

Teenage Hange: Ooh, spooky!

Teenhange: What specific parts of the woods are they in, so I can avoid them extra hard?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Reiner, in front of Sasha's grave: Rip i was always into you

Sasha, popping out from behind a tree: ? Worst confession ever

Reiner: You're not dead??

Reiner: I lied

Reiner: You are nothing to me

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

*Gabi and Falco looking over the bones of Rod Reiss*

Falco: What happened to him?

Historia: Ah well, he tried to outpizza the Hut

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Falco: I heard it's supposed to rain

Colt: Oh, yeah? But look at this sun!

Zeke:

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Pieck: Brr, getting a bit cold, uh?

Gabi: Yeah, it's supposed to rain later

Zeke:

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

*Zeke passing through next to Magath adressing the kids*

Commander Magath: We're not gonna do the lesson outside today, it's supposed to rain

Zeke:

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Annie: Galliard, mind helping me set up the tables outside for my mind reading scam?

Porco: Don't start this now, it's supposed to rain this afternoon!

Zeke: I heard it's never going to rain again.

Porco: What is the fucking matter with you

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Pieck: I decided I'm actually not gonna break up with you over your corny jokes, Porco convinced me otherwise.

Zeke: What a re-LEAF. I should get you flowers. I know it STEMS from a place of love, now our relationship can BURGEON out of bounds.

Pieck: I changed my mind.

Zeke: Ok, but Porco avocated for me?? Really?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Annie: Zeke? What was that message you sent me?

*Shows him the phone, with a garbled texting mess on it that reads as follows: pleusr bereing qi 2 auffce chabi goht pik 🏹. shi went hair glleiteur pin. kiuk houry aim worrded*

Zeke: "Please bring the key to the office back, Gabi is threatening Pieck at gunpoint, she wants her glitter pen back and I seem to be the only one worried about it."

Annie: I read serial killer diaries with better punctuation than this

Zeke: But do you have the keys?

Annie: No.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Annie: What about the bow emoji?

Zeke: They censored the gun on my phone

Annie: No, look there's the little water gun...

Zeke: It doesn't convey the urgency of the situation

Annie: Nothing in your message conveys the urgency of the situation since you need a degree in foreign languages to understand it

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Commander Magath: Do you have any children?

Dina Fritz: Yes, I have one that's just under two.

Commander Magath: I know how many one is

Commander Magath: Is he big enough to man a cannon yet

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Yelena: Blackmail is such an ugly word. I prefer extortion. The X makes it sound cool.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Reiner: Be myself?? The person who got me into this mess???

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Ymir: Will I find a purpose?

Annie, posing as a fortune teller: No.

Ymir: u didn't do the thing with the cards

Annie: *flips one card, maintaining eye contact* No.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Pieck: *unbuttoning shirt* Oh my god, it's hot as hell in here.

Yelena: Yes, but why are you unbuttoning my shirt?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Connie: You into cars?

Ymir: Yes, it truly was a masterpiece of a film

Connie: No i mean are you a cars person

Ymir: I'm a human.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Connie: I tried making my own Red Bull with crushed up caffeine pills, twenty-one shots of expresso, carbonated licorice water and gummy vitamins. The doctor said I'm lucky to be alive.

Connie, 24 hours before: I can perceive twenty-three spatial dimensions and am fighting my own soul. I'm winning by the way.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Levi: i am at a loss for words to describe how absolutely stupid this plan was!

Sasha, narrating: Despite being at a loss for words, the Captain yelled at us for the next thirty minutes.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

*Hange getting ready to go on an expedition in the titan forest*

Hange: If you hear me screaming bloody murder, there's a good chance I'm enjoying myself.

Levi: ...figured that one out

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Mikasa, when Eren leaves for Zeke's side: You're leaving me? I'm coming with you.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Gabi: What's the difference between Reiner and a magnet?

Gabi: A magnet has a positive side!

Reiner: Ah-Ah. Very funny.

Falco: A magnet would have laughed at this quality joke!

Reiner: I wish I were an household item

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Hange: You know, you look pretty fit yourself. What do you play?

Erwin: Anybody that gets close enough.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Mr. Xaver: I'm sorry Zeke, your dad was pronounced dead

Zeke: *tearing up*

Zeke: I've been pronouncing it wrong this whole time??!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Historia: I tried your "salad" thing today, and Ew. I only ate one of those red and white nasty apple things, and I couldn't handle it after.

Pieck: Radishes, Historia

Historia: Mini dirt apples

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Kenny the Boomer, looking at his dead phone: How do we bring this thing back to life? Magic? Live sacrifice? I know a guy in town-

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Floch, lovingly, to Eren: You inspire me to be so much worse

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Floch, interviewing people: What do you want for Christmas?

Annie: Uhhh... for me to be alive

Levi: You know those microfibers cloths they have at big stores?

Historia: I just want Captain Levi to have a great time. Cause, he's been really really sad and angry lately. And you know, that's all I really need, more happiness in the world.

Connie: I'll say I want a big booty hoe, sitting on my face right now. Blrrr!

Sasha: Free weed!

Eren: Uhhhh.... World peace

Mikasa: Dick

Hange: *Pouring everyone a big glass of her special cocktail* Mental stabilityyyy baby!

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Jean: I'd roast you, but my mom says you can't burn trash.

Jean: *moon-walks out of the room*

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Annie: I'm not sure whose twisted idea it was to put hundreds of adolescents in underfunded dilapidated training camps, taught by people whose dreams were crushed years ago, but I admire the sadism.

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Yelena: I've tried some eyeliner, thoughts?

Floch: Sorry but someone already has swag in this enimity and it's ME

Yelena: You? Cool? You are like if a moth was wearing clown shoes.

Floch: Where did you even hear that expression

Yelena: Idk

Floch: Well you look like you could stab someone with these anyways

Yelena: The clown shoes?

Floch: The eyeliner.

Yelena: That's the goal

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Zeke organising a play about his life: Porco, I think you should play the role of my father.

Porco: I don't want to be your father??

Zeke: That's perfect, you already know your lines!

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Marcel: I don’t know why I do the things I do. Never did. I’m a damn mystery to myself. It makes my existence... Exciting, you know. You never know what's gonna happen. Am I going to jail, am I getting a medal for bravery? Am I driving on the highway at three in the morning to ruin my life and everybody in this town's again??

Ymir: Are you gonna get caught, cooked and eaten by a random girl in the woods?? Who the hell knows.

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*Porco, in his jock attire, yelling at the tv*

Bertholt: You're yelling like the players are actually gonna listen to you

Porco: You're in love with a girl who doesn't even know you exist

Bertholt:

Bertholt: Never talk to me again

*Bertholt goes to his room to try and glue back the shattered remains of his ego*

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Historia: I think my dad never loved me.

Zeke: HA! Loser. I always KNEW my dad never loved me.

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Sasha, leaving the Training Corps in s2 to go save her family: There I go side questing again!

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Flight attendant: Is there a doctor on the plane?

Armin: Yes, but I'm not that kind of...

Flight attendant: The pilots are debating the merits of the terminologies of "the dark ages" vs. "late antiquity" vs. "the early middle ages".

Armin: Okay. I'm here.

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Bertholt: Annie... I need to tell you something.

Annie: Alright?

Bertholt: You're hot then you're cold, you're yes then you're no, you're in and you're out, you're up then you're down, you're right when it's wrong, you... I guess what I want to say is you're incredible and I care about you. You're so good... At everything. I deeply admire you. I could get lost in the blue of your eyes, I feel like I'm flying when I look at you. Your hair is a golden crown, which you deserve because you are a queen. Your laugh is rare and dry like an oasis in the desert, it's the only thing in the world that can quench my thirst. What I'm trying to say is... I love you.

Annie: Alright.

Bertholt:

Annie: Thanks. You... Uh... You always fill a room with your presence... Like a stately sequoia tree.

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Sasha: *sees a ghost* omg are you dead

Ghost Gabi: Of corpse

Ghost Gabi: The other ghosts said they'll beat my ass because of this joke. Grave mistake.

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Levi: Oh yes, my uncle is out of town, said something about tying up loose ends?

Uri Reiss:

Kenny: *tying up the ends of a black bag filled with a dead body*

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Falco: Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Gabi:

Gabi: I don't think you know what this sentence means

Gabi: But yes, it's a gun.

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Connie: Are you alright?

Historia: I'm fine.

Connie: No, but really?

Historia: I mean yeah i carry around an immense sadness that destroys my will to live more and more everyday but like im fine

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Erwin: I rarely find cocaine jokes funny.

Erwin: But occasionally, an one-liner makes me snort.

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Annie: We have an issue. Most of your bleeding is internal.

Marcel: Well, isn't that good news?! That's where the blood is supposed to be anyways!

Pieck: I don't think it's in the benefit of humanity as a whole to try to save him...

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Mikasa: I act as if I don't care if people dislike me. But deep down? I secretly enjoy it.

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Yes, do believe good cop/bad cop is the essence of the MikAnnie dynamic

Yes, I know titans aren't supposed to leave bones behind. I'm gonna need you to get allll the way off my back about this!

Yes, I did watch the Wednesday series recently. It's a good show, innit? Full of punchy one-liners!

Yes, this end note is getting entirely too repetitive.

Yes, there's more?

*: 104° F for you eagle people

#grisha yeager #annie leonhart #floch forster #aot #attack on titan #snk #shingeki no kyojin #aot incorrect quotes #klm-zoflorr #top tag

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