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englishvisualnovels · 5 years

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The Story of Two Overbearing Sakuras and Their Lighthearted Love Triangle — Sakura Sakura Launches on Steam

Developer: Hiqosoft Publisher: Sol Press Release Date: November 19, 2018 Platform: Windows Age Rating: All-Ages & 18+ Price: $34.99

Note: This post contains links that lead to NSFW content.

Earlier this week, Sol Press released Sakura Sakura on Steam. A free demo for the game is available on Steam and the Sakura Sakura promotional website.

The Steam version of Sakura Sakura is all-ages, but Sol Press released a free patch which adds adult content to the game.

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Relevant Links:

Where to Buy (Digital): Steam (18+ Patch)

Official Site (Demo available)

Features, via Sol Press:

Step into the shoes of two different protagonists each with their own love triangles.

A romantic visual novel featuring a Japanese voice cast.

Relive touching and hilarious CG scenes with the CG Gallery feature.

Listen to your favorite tunes from the game in the Music Gallery.

Synopsis:

The Dorm Guardian vs. The School Guardian

Tohru Inaba has always dreamed of living a co-ed life. That’s why, when he finally managed to transfer into the renowned Rintoku Academy, he immediately fell head over heels for two Sakuras!

Nanako Sakura’s classes are strict, but at home, she turns into an overbearing mother.

Sakura Kirishima may seem cold and unfriendly, but she is always ready to lend a helping hand as the class representative.

These two girls are outwardly indifferent to Tohru, but put the three of them together and sparks begin to fly.

In the sakura-colored season of spring, two fussy Sakuras have been caught in a light-hearted love triangle.

The Internet Friend vs. The Childhood Friend

"You know how romance games always give the main character that best friend who tells him about the girls? I want to be that guy."

Naoki Fuse, the self-proclaimed best friend, is always ready to tease Tohru about his situation with the two Sakuras.

But, unbeknownst to him, he is one side of yet another light-hearted love triangle.

Akira Nitta has been Naoki's friend since before they could read and write, and is now finally living under the same (dorm) roof as him.

Kurumi Tachibana used to be Naoki's MMO raiding partner, but they were separated before she ever got a chance to meet him in real life or tell him how she felt.

"I understand him better than anyone else."

Akira and Kurumi have Naoki stumped for the first time in his life. And so, Tohru finally gets a chance to see things from the other side.

The curtains rise on this desolate showdown for love.

Cast:

Nanako Sakura Voiced by: Izumi Maki

(Known roles: Chihiro Shindou from ef - a fairy tale of the two., Chizuru Tachibana from the Grisaia series, Komaru Kamikita from Little Busters!, etc.)

The kind dorm mother of the Tsukimi Athletics Dorm who wakes the students up every morning. She cheerfully makes breakfast every morning just for Tohru Inaba, but not out of special consideration for him. Rather, it’s because the other two residents, Naoki and Akira, usually skip breakfast. Coincidentally, one of her concerns is that those two have been skipping their practices as well.

She acts as a parent to Tohru, supporting, encouraging, and scolding him as he works to become an official member of the Fine Arts Club. At school, Nanako transforms into a strict and imposing homeroom teacher, with a firm line drawn between the two roles.

However, since witnessing Tohru being fussed over by Sakura, the vice president of the Fine Arts Club, her mood at the dorm has been noticeably worse.

Nanako specializes in general housework, honed from her time living alone, and cooking simmered dishes such as nikujaga, curry, and hot pot. Her hobby is gardening, and she devotes her spare time to protecting her garden by weeding the dorm's backyard. She goes on walks in the middle of the night to count the stars whenever she is upset, something she has been doing ever since she was a little girl. Because of her youthful appearance, she is often treated like a child, unbecoming of her status as a teacher. Lately, she has been spending more and more time looking up at the sky from the dorm's backyard.

Sakura Kirishima Voiced by: Yukari Aoyama

(Known roles: Bunwa Kaku from the Shin Koihime † Musou series, Kazuki Kazami from the Grisaia series, Orgel Seira from Chaos;Head, etc.)

The class representative and cool beauty in the next seat over. When the other Fine Arts Club members protested Tohru's entry into the club, all it took was for Sakura to say, “I will take responsibility,” to convert them into unanimously approving.

At Rintoku Academy, which is already renowned for its art programs, the Fine Arts Club stands above the rest. And Sakura is the only person capable of wrangling the prideful members of the Fine Arts Club into working, to the point that 3 club advisors have lost confidence and quit in the past year. Despite only being the vice president of the club, her words’ influence rival that of the teachers, and she is not taken lightly by anyone.

That is the reason why, when Tohru naturally lines his up desk with Sakura’s to share textbooks or when he invites her to eat lunch together, their classmates get restless. However, as Sakura is the only person who can get the problem children of the Tsukimi dorm to fall into line, she is also the only one capable of being their class representative. Her natural leadership dwarfs Nanako’s, who is still a novice teacher, causing the latter to often feel discouraged.

Sakura dislikes people who are spineless, waste words, or can't keep promises, those of whom greatly outnumber the people she likes. Despite Tohru being all of these, she becomes his guardian when it comes to club activities, looking out for him. But what her clubmates understand least of all is why she gets so fired up when it comes to the Tsukimi Dorm Mother, Nanako. The two often collide in a rivalry over teaching Tohru about the academy's customs.

Akira Nitta Voiced by: Yuka Kanematsu

(Known roles: Hiyori Oofusa from Dracu-riot!, Moukaku from the Shin Koihime † Musou series, Shamsiel Shaharl from the Funbag Fantasy series, etc.)

The real-life childhood friend who finds the idea of an Internet childhood friend ridiculous. Akira dreamed about marrying Naoki when she was a little girl, earnestly devoting herself to him and spoiling him... and then doing a complete 180 when she realized he had turned into a sloth because of her. Her current number 1 wish is to erase those years of puppy-love devotion from her memory.

Just as Naoki managed to enroll in Rintoku through the kendo program, Akira enrolled through its gymnastics program and thus also lives in Tsukimi dorm. For reasons unknown, she no longer attends practice and instead skips to play baseball and table tennis with Naoki. Whenever he asks her why she keeps skipping with him, she simply replies, "Why don’t you ask the leotard?"

To Akira, Kurumi does not even register as a rival. However, when Kurumi drags Naoki into conversations about Internet games and dating sims, she becomes determined to steer him away, beginning another hopeless battle for his affection.

Akira follows a strict day-to-day diet and is afraid of body weight scales. She often says, "I wish my stomach would stay closer to my back." She is also obsessed with household appliances and has spent the last six months steadily saving to buy a ‘cute refrigerator’. Her favorite food is popsicles and her dream is to have a refrigerator stocked year-round with perfect rows of sparkling popsicles.

Kurumi Tachibana Voiced by: Yui Sakakibara

(Known roles: Ayase Kishimoto from Chaos;Head, Hamaji Yakumo from H20: Footprints in the Sand, Navi from Dragonar Academy, etc.)

The Internet childhood friend who refuses to lose to a real-life childhood friend. Six years ago, hallo made huge waves among hardcore gamers as one of the first big MMORPGs. Kurumi and Naoki met there and formed a party, shedding blood, sweat, and tears together for more than two years. However, right before they could clear the final dungeon, the game ceased operations and the two were suddenly forced apart. Kurumi had planned to confess to him and ask for his contact information once they cleared it, but it seemed her first love was not to be.

All she knew was that Naoki lived in the same region as her. Kurumi was a shut-in at the time, but she took that day as an opportunity to change. She learned how to be fashionable, took up more club activities, started studying, and became an outgoing person. She had no intention of letting her first love end the way it did.

Two years Naoki's junior, Kurumi was recognized as a genius for the sensitivity portrayed in her art and rose to the top of the Rintoku Academy affiliate school she attended, allowing her to take part in the Rintoku Academy Fine Arts Club’s activities. Through Tohru, she recognized Naoki as the person she had been looking for and, consequently, has started picking fights with Naoki's real-life childhood friend, Akira. However, she gets nervous and loses her ability to speak in front of Naoki, resorting to extremely formal language. When she played hallo with him, she lacked the courage to confess outright and instead kept wandering around the entrance to the final dungeon.

#sakura sakura #hiqosoft #sol press #bishoujo #rating: all ages #rating: 18

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booksquirm · 6 years

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Thoughts from the soph-box.

Last week, Kate Spade (a US fashion designer) and Anthony Bourdain (a French Chef) lost their lives to suicide.

Since then people from all over the world have expressed their sadness, offering tributes and including links and phone numbers to call centre support services, urging friends and family to seek help if they were suffering.

Yesterday I was trawling the internet as I stumbled upon a twitter post which read:

“Kate Spade committed suicide, now people are advocates for suicide prevention and mental health.

Meanwhile your best friend is struggling, depressed, suicidal and you haven’t checked in on them in weeks.

You guys are so fake concerned about mental health it is actually hilarious.”

I feel this is cynical and unfair. Just as many people do not understand the complexity of physical health issues and how to assist those suffering, the same goes for mental health issues. People offer the help they can, when they can. There is a distinct lack of understanding surrounding the symptoms of mental health disorders and often in today’s society, words such as depressed, anorexic, traumatised, psychotic are used as critical adjectives rather than factual diagnoses and thus the respect for such conditions and the extent to which individuals take these illnesses seriously is impacted.

Irrespective, it is exceedingly difficult to care for a person with a mental health issue and at no point should those close to an individual suffering ever be held accountable for the expression of their illness, especially self harm and suicide.

(Please note here that I am acknowledging individuals who have not been involved in abuse of a person suffering mental illness, I am addressing people caring about and for individuals with mental illnesses completely unrelated to potential causal factors).

Kate Spade's husband has released a statement in which he notes her participation in therapy. She was doing her best in her recovery, though unfortunately still lost her fight.

A large number of symptoms of mental health disorders go unnoticed because some of these symptoms can, at times, be observable in completely normal individuals - everyone has times where they experience depressed mood, everyone has days where they feel overwhelmed or completely apathetic ... but the difference is how long these difficulties persist, and the extent to which they impede on ones ability to function.

The diagnostic criteria in DSM-V (current diagnostic statistics manual) include:

A. Five (or more) of the following symptoms have been present during the same 2-week period and represent a change from previous functioning; at least one of the symptoms is either (1) depressed mood or (2) loss of interest or pleasure. Note: Do not include symptoms that are clearly attributable to another medical condition.

1. Depressed mood most of the day, nearly every day, as indicated by either subjective report (e.g., feels sad, empty, hopeless) or observation made by others (e.g., appears tearful). (Note: In children and adolescents, can be irritable mood.)

2. Markedly diminished interest or pleasure in all, or almost all, activities most of the day, nearly every day (as indicated by either subjective account or observation).

3. Significant weight loss when not dieting or weight gain (e.g., a change of more than 5% of body weight in a month), or decrease or increase in appetite nearly every day. (Note: In children, consider failure to make expected weight gain.)

4. Insomnia or hypersomnia nearly every day.

5. Psychomotor agitation or retardation nearly every day (observable by others, not merely subjective feelings of restlessness or being slowed down).

6. Fatigue or loss of energy nearly every day.

7. Feelings of worthlessness or excessive or inappropriate guilt (which may be delusional) nearly every day (not merely self-reproach or guilt about being sick).

8. Diminished ability to think or concentrate, or indecisiveness, nearly every day (either by subjective account or as observed by others).

9. Recurrent thoughts of death (not just fear of dying), recurrent suicidal ideation without a specific plan, or a suicide attempt or a specific plan for committing suicide.

Many of these symptoms can only be perceived upon speaking to a person, if that person is not masking their illness. Many a depressed individual, due to low self esteem and an engrained sense of defectiveness overcompensate and thus present incredibly well when necessary in a bid to divert attention. In some cases they may believe they do not deserve help, that they are a burden, or the stigma surrounding mental health may suppress their willingness to speak out. For me personally, low self esteem and perfectionism lead me to believe that I was in fact lazy, not ill.

Depression can act in a cyclical way. It’s important to understand that depression doesn’t just mean ‘sad’ it means, a loss of activity, the inability to do. Psychomotor activity refers to the genesis of conscious mental activity, and a key symptom of depression is a loss or extreme increase in psychomotor activity.

Loss in conscious mental activity can of course lead to fatigue, which leads to low feelings of self worth as an individual cannot achieve much in this state and inevitably begins to feel incredibly despondent.

In the same breath, psychomotor agitation makes it near impossible for an individual to concentrate, is incredibly fatiguing, distressing and deleterious to their cognitive functioning. Anxiety and rumination are often co-morbid with MDD and make an individual reluctant or unable to execute daily tasks including asking for help.

One of the treatments for major depressive disorder is cognitive behavioural therapy, whereby the individual addresses their thoughts and reframes the way in which they interpret them, helping them to act in ways promoting healthier choices. Communication is one of the areas many people suffering MDD need help with.

Communication is critical in all walks of life. The level of emotion conveyed by people who do not suffer mental illness in wake of public figures’ passing from suicide should be seen as a communication of a wish to be of help, despite not always knowing how. We would be cruel to read this as an indication that the world only cares about the deaths of the famous. People are shocked by their passing, in light of their apparent ‘successful’ and ‘perfect’ lives. Perhaps these people’s succumbing to their illness in fact sheds light on the prevalence of mental illness in the world. The issue is not the adoration of the famous or the garnering of attention after their death (if you could call it that). The issue is the lack of knowledge surrounding warnings signs and possible interventions.

At many points during my own struggle I felt desolate and alone. Social isolation resulted from my illness. If you had asked me how many friends I had I would have told you that I was not a good enough person to have friends and when suggested by therapists that I reach out to friends, they were met with refusal for I felt I was a burden. This is common for people with depression. This is commonly why friends and family, despite their best efforts, are met with silence or retorts upon trying to communicate their desire to help to those close to them.

In 2014 I’d spent the last 12 to 18 months I’d yo-yoed in and out of depression, been hospitalised and was almost entirely manic, effectively in denial (shout out to the 2013 viola phase, you were incredible and hilarious). I hadn’t seen much of my friends and had completely upended my life, my degree, and out of shame annexed myself from my friends. Though on my 21st birthday, to my amazement, I reached out and an abundance of warm-hearted individuals met me with open arms and compassion. On the morning of my birthday 20 or so earth-bound angels met me at some un-godly hour for breakfast (the only meal of the day I happened to be successfully eating) so I could eat roast tomato, fruit, think about smoked salmon and definitely avoid the cake while they simply existed in my presence without judgement.

I can whole heartedly say that I have NEVER felt more cared for in my life.

The willingness for people to simply BE THERE when someone DOES reach out is the way you can support depression. I’ve had similar experiences since, one of which being the support around my graduation recital when I finally returned to university, and the common thread in each is that through small, manageable gestures people communicated their willingness to care, acceptance of who I was and respect of what I had been through.

The thrust of my rebuttal is this:

Carers don’t always know exactly what to do. There is no “how to” manual. If offering a tribute, a mental health or a donation to a charity is how a person can comprehend expressing their concern...we should thank them. In fact, there isn’t a lot that can actively be done, bar being there for a person when they are ready. All that can be done is to continue raising awareness, promoting respect and creating a platform from which we can discuss mental health clearly without stigma or prejudice for both the sufferers and their carers.

#personal #depression #mentalhealth #mental illness #twitter #facebook #instagram #opinion #suicide #help #mine #me #care #carers #survivor #recovery

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jillmckenzie1 · 4 years

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The Feel Bad Movie of The Year

Not long ago on my birthday, I decided to do something for myself. To celebrate my inevitable march toward old age and the grave, a drive in the mountains was just the thing. I fired up the trusty Prius, put my iPhone music on shuffle,* and off I went into the majesty of Colorado’s iconic Front Range.

I stopped at Flagstaff Lookout Point. The road to the top was closed due to snow, and I figured a little stroll would do me good. After a few minutes of picking my way through the recently fallen snow, I became acutely aware of two things. First, as far as I could tell, I was the only one up there. No families frolicking in a winter wonderland. No couples blissfully holding hands as they experienced the beauty of nature. No drunk CU students running down the trail wearing short shorts and flip-flops.

The second thing was the near-total silence. Initially, I was on auto-pilot as I walked. I gradually noticed no birdsong, no critters snuffling in the underbrush. Just the far-away sound of wind mournfully blowing in the trees. At that moment, it occurred to me that if I were killed, nobody would notice for a very long time and that nature would continue on, oblivious to my presence-or lack of it.

When it comes to freaking people out, atmosphere is key. Standard horror movies rely on startling people, and a character will jump when a cat/monster/serial killer/pan of lasagna bursts out of nowhere. Movies that take the time to create a feeling for the world they inhabit are worth paying attention to. Despite thin characterization and a story that doesn’t quite hold up under scrutiny, The Lodge is a film definitely worth paying attention to.

Our protagonist is not Laura (Alicia Silverstone), as she only appears in the first few minutes of the film. She’s separated from Richard (Richard Armitage), and it seems they’re on good terms. Their son Aiden (Jaeden Martell) and daughter Lia (Lia McHugh) have adjusted fairly well. That will change. Richard informs Laura that he’s ready to move forward with a divorce. He’s been seeing Grace (Riley Keough), and they have decided to get married. With that, Laura commits suicide.

Months pass. Understandably, the children are upset, withdrawn, and they cling to each other as a source of support. As happens in the aftermath of a tragedy, Richard struggles to do his best and he comes up with a plan. He owns a remote lodge nestled in the mountains. The plan is for Richard, Grace, and the kids to spend Christmas together and forge a bond that’s real and lasting.

That will not happen. Aiden and Lia still mourn their mother, and they resent Grace’s intrusion. A little internet research shows them that Grace was the only survivor of a suicide cult and that Richard fell in love with her while writing a book about her experiences. She’s grappling with her own trauma, and when Richard announces he needs to leave the lodge for a few days to take care of work, he asks Grace to take care of the kids while he’s gone. She tells him everything will be fine. It won’t be.

If you’re looking for a fun night out at the picture show with your sweet babboo, I cannot recommend strongly enough not seeing The Lodge.** Do I think it’s a bad film? No, not at all! Directors Veronika Franz and Severin Fiala particularly excel at creating a feeling of hopeless dread. We’re deep within slow burn territory here, and Franz and Fiala use immaculate production design, unsettling cinematography, and a musical score that’s minimal but powerful to communicate a very specific message to the audience. Terrible things are going to happen, and nothing can stop them. The design of the namesake lodge alone is worth the price of admission. It feels slightly too big, slightly oppressive, and when characters make a fire in the fireplace, the light never feels cheery. It feels like a cry in the darkness.

Their script, co-written by Sergio Casci, isn’t constructed with quite the same level of care. Again, let me be clear, it’s not badly written. In fact, they take the time to examine how trauma and religion can ripple through a person’s life, and how sometimes it simply can’t be managed. It’s dark stuff, and solid characterization would have taken the script to another level. Instead, we’re kept at arm’s length from the characters too often. There’s also a plot point that requires some strenuous suspension of disbelief. I think ultimately it doesn’t matter, considering the kind of movie Franz, Fiala, and Casci were looking to make. Their goal is to unsettle and create a growing sense of religious paranoia, and they succeeded.

The cast is solid, and there are two performances that bear mentioning. I liked Riley Keough as the unpredictable Grace. Early on, I had a bit of a hard time sussing out her motivations. Did she genuinely want to connect with the kids? Did she just tolerate them? Were there darker motivations at play? Keough plays her cards very close to the chest, and I liked her struggle between mental illness, familial discord and the creeping isolation of the wintry outdoors.

As I said earlier, Alicia Silverstone’s Laura isn’t our protagonist, but her presence looms throughout the lodge and the lives of the characters. Silverstone is a performer who never quite got the respect she was due. She’s equally skilled at comedy and drama, and she’s best known as the bubbly Cher in Clueless. In a way, she’s become a cinematic icon, a likable one, and here she takes that energy she’s known for and curdles it. It’s genuinely shocking to see a performer with that degree of likability go that dark that fast.

I can’t imagine most people will enjoy the experience of watching The Lodge. Only one or two jump scares exist, the only character who is heroic is also utterly ineffectual, and the film is drenched in a profound sense of hopelessness and doom. That’s fine. Franz and Fiala made precisely the movie they wanted to make with skill, and they were backed up by a studio that supported their vision, no matter how bleak and wintry that vision might be.

*There’s something a little weird about driving through the glorious desolation of the Flatirons while “911 Is A Joke” plays.

**Though there was a couple on a date sitting next to me. As the credits rolled, the woman turned to her partner and said, “So the moral of the film is, never introduce your kids to your girlfriend.” She got a massive laugh.

from Blog https://ondenver.com/the-feel-bad-movie-of-the-year/

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donajodona-blog · 7 years

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CUBA

My recommendation for Cuba: go to Cuba and experience the desolation, hopelessness, and feeling of impotence physically, or don’t go to Cuba and keep its people and history tucked away in a book. Stories never have only one side, and here is my experience with Cuba’s story.

Originally, I did not want to visit Cuba. I promised myself I would not go to Cuba while it was controlled by a dictatorship, but sometimes it is easier for me to understand the perspective of other people when I live their so-called ideologies. This is how I came to stay in Havana for two long days. Havana, the place where the nefarious agreement between President Santos and the Voices of FARC was given life.

I was not curious to visit a place that froze in 1950 and chose to only change for the government's executives, not its ordinary citizens. If that was what I wanted to experience, I could have easily visited the Amish community in Lancaster where one of the few non-negotiable pillars of society -based on first amendment rights - is physical freedom. However, Cuba still has that idealized appeal that the self-proclaimed leftists love; a bloody and oppressive story that continues to haunt the citizens.

Cuba has that paradise-like magic that the progressive liberal gringos love; destroyed colonial-style streets, remembrances of Che Guevara on every street corner, cans overflowing with garbage lining the walkways, and the almost physical presence of misery and oppression of the people. You can almost hear their distressing stories shouting passively for freedom. Cuba’s charm lies in everything that evokes the forbidden, the denied, the warned, and the snatched.

Not to mention my Colombian compatriots who are seen on Facebook commemorating the life of Che Guevara or who are shocked by the death of Castro. Yet, these same people are asking, on the same Facebook wall, who will be travelling from Miami to Colombia to bring them the Xbox, Nintendo, or PlayStation for their children, or Levi’s pants for themselves. Those same people that spend every Friday sitting at a little bohemian look bar ironically buying Mojitos or Cubalibre with the pesos earned throughout the week.

In Cuba, 95% of the people cannot afford outings to restaurants on the weekends, and the restaurants belong to the government. Prices are in Cuban convertible peso (CUC), which is the currency for foreigners arriving in Cuba.

Cuba has two currencies: the Cuban peso and the Cuban convertible peso (CUC). Their salary is earned in Cuban pesos, but they can only buy things in CUC. The exchange rate is 0.03 US dollar for every Cuban peso and 1 US dollar for each Cuban convertible peso. In other words: on average they earn $8/month, but they need $120/month to live decently. The leftists further rape the people by saying, “but in Cuba, people do not die of hunger.” Evidently not, but they do die on their knees, humiliated and without freedom.

Being born in Cuba is like being born a slave forever. No one born in Cuba can leave unless they are sponsored from other countries or they take a raft to the Bahamas. But those same leftist Colombians defend themselves with, “but in Cuba health care is free.” HA! Don’t make me laugh. They want free healthcare, but in Colombia, they complain about Law 100 that allows lower class citizens access to free health care. Capitalist models like Canada put the patient first and have better social conditions in order to sustain a health system where everyone has rights and no one needs to beg for health care. But, if they have such a great example in Cuba, why even bother comparing themselves with Canada?

They have free education but, for what purpose? If a diploma cannot guarantee a dignified life, prostitution (oops, tourism) is the only way to go (it is one of the largest sources of income for the Cuban female population). A medical student may have a better chance to get into a university than a barman does, but a barman makes a better living. Barmen cater to the tourists, those same tourists from capitalist countries that come to see the ‘wonder’ of Cuba and fill themselves with the promising illusions of the distant (nonexistent) Cuban future.

Shocking facts:

· There is no private property. For example, if a family owns a 1950 American car, which has been passed down from generation to generation, they cannot use this car unless they pay a tax to the government and also join the government-owned 'agency'.

· They only have 6 TV channels, which are provided by the government of course.

· Books are controlled by the government (another form of brainwashing)

· There is no violence among Cubans, but between Cubans and tourists.

· Internet access is infiltrated; it is monitored so that access to imperialist ideas is blocked.

· Sometimes 2 or 3 families live together in the same house. After seeing how much of a mess your own kids and spouse can make, I cannot imagine how messy those houses can be.

· Citizens do not have the right to carry arms. Why should they?? This is the same thing that President Santos did after stealing the election and the plebiscite and left us disgusted.

· I cannot imagine how the rest of Cuba can be if this is what they determine to be the best side to show to the tourists.

· Cubans are happy with their lives in Cuba. The degree of happiness is inversely proportional to the number of Cubans waiting for their visas at the doors of the Spanish Embassy.

· If you want to go to the beaches, get another visa other than the ‘people to people’ visa. This one only allows you to walk the streets.

Positives:

· The food is delicious. · The people still retain the warmth of the Caribbean. · The Cubans have not lost hope; the new generations know the right direction for Cuba.

Author: @donajodona Editor: Jaclyn Kershaw

#cuba #travelling #donajodona #dictatorship #traveladdict #tragona

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abstruse-sentiments-blog · 7 years

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How much have I changed since I met you?

Personally, I never asked that question to anyone but you. But you have never answered me definitively. Only when I asked about specific characteristic like industriousness [ kasipagan] do you answer that I used to be much more of that. You taught me how to lie back, and let other people handle things. You taught me to chill and not be worried about a lot of things. You taught me that everything will be fine, with or without my concern, and you taught me to love myself, and spend my time on other things.

It’s been a year. And I felt lost. The illusion that I am needed is gone and has vanished. I lost interest in doing things, because I know, it’s basically all for naught. You never said that to me. But that’s how I felt. I was left purposeless, and only you do I cling. I lost enchantment on all the things I used to like. I grew cynical and distasteful of the internet and pictures. I grew uncaring towards the things around me. And I lost direction.

I am indolent. I knew that from the start. But it grew more and more, until even reading I dislike. I grew disenchanted with the world I am living. I feel its okay to just continue like this. I never actually felt enough anymore, and everything is just fleeting. My unhappiness of course did not grow. I’m personally happier than ever before. Happy but distant, and the more I feel like people would not understand. It’s not actually all because of you. My outlook about the world, just became so eclectic, so relative, and so different from the common people that surrounds me. That I feel alone.

Maybe it’s due to the fact that I am graduating. It is because of that every time a chapter of my life is coming to an end, I am always left with the question where am I going next. I used to have the passion of going through life, and making the best out of it. But yeah, I’m just a million of the people that live in it. Maybe it’s the disenchantment of living in a meaningless world, do I sit back and refrain from giving meaning to it, and giving meaning to my life. By believing that I am still young, and there is always more time.

The world I see before me is obsessed with awards, with fame, with fortune and power. The world I see before me, does not care about truth, and justice until they became the victim that they shout out for this thing. The world I see before is so corrupted and impure, but despite that it still the best of all possible world. The world before wants to make it easier for man, but ends up making the very man that compose it suffer. The world I see before me is erratic and unpredictable. The world I see before me is frighteningly big and horrible.

I want to understand everything, in the end, I understand less and less. I want to know and figure things out, but what is the point if I do. I know love supposed to put meaning into this meaningless world, but even that wouldn’t put meaning to it, unless I myself do. [ which I do, of course] but people are just generally born different from one another. No idea, no circumstances, no societal structure, would be suitable for all. We are all just trying o live by, and make the most out of it.

All of things changed in me, since I met you. I grew hopeless, I grew cynic, I grew skeptic, I grew pessimistic or is it realistic? I grew critical, basically, I grew up to be human. I was yanked from my sheltered lifestyle and belief, that everything would be fine, the world is full of hope. I was yanked away from the very optimistic eyes I was fitted with since birth. I was yanked away from the notion that people would understand each other. I was yanked away from the tower of self-importance I placed myself in. From the tower of perfectionism, I was forced to topple over. I was shaken from my self-indulging and self-consoling tendency. My self-loathing was in an all-time high, but then again, you made me realize that this world is just an illusion of market values and economic trivialities, that people are expected to act in such a way, that is why there, I find no reason to loathe myself for my supposed lacking, in aspect that in the end does not totally matter.

But upon realizing all this. After knowing who I am right now, I see that I am unhappy with the way I am. The indolent me. The me that see nothing in the world but suffering. You made me realize, that behind all these, there is actually nothing, and this nothing is something we can fill up and create. After all these suffering is a niche that I myself can fill with meaning as how I chose for it to be. After all these, I realize I need to do something with my time. The world might not be a good place, but I can make it good, to a certain extent. I live socially and technologically. I can reach as many people as I want to reach. I am not confined to wherever I am. And so I can also choose not be confined in a terrible desolate place that I see before me. I am not confined with the idea in my head. I can choose what life before me means, and my life before meant for me.

The world does not revolve around me, yes, but it does revolve around me, in the sense that there is nothing out there that I know that has not been understood by me apart from how I perceived it. How I see myself, is never about the projection of other people, it me I see. It’s my actions, it’s my choices, and it’s my desire and my whims. It is me who should understand myself first before other people should be allowed to give meaning to what is me. The world is not perfect, so am I. This is not a call to be wayward and do whatever one wants, it’s a call to understand oneself, and all the things that one really wants. The world, is the world, and I am in it. The world I see, and the world I perceive is as good as I hope to see it, and its starts with the self. I choose to give meaning to it. To live a life that I can be happy about, despite set in a bleak backdrop that is the world.

Thank you, Philosophy, for showing all of this to me.

...maybe it’s true that “nothing is permanent, except change” -Heraclitus

...maybe I am wrong, feel free to correct me.

#change #rants #philosophy #existential crisis

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