#it's 2 am in the morning i'm a bit delirious

[prettyboypistol]

Literally in every fanfic I read the reader is already a pretty sleeper, waking up all pretty and shit. Do you know what I need? A Reader who wakes up like they've been pushed down the stairs. A Reader who spews gibberish for a second and then immediately goes back to sleep. A Reader who wakes up wrapped in their blankets sweating like crazy and completely disorientated and on the floor. Sorry if this ask is bad, but do you think you could write something like this for the mercs?

Mood as fuck, I'm in.

TF2 Mercs With a Messy Morning S/O xGN!Reader

Scout

Honestly thinks it's a bit cute, seeing you wake up in a pool of your own spit and hair in your mouth??? Yeah, that's what he's dying every day to protect.

Likes talking nonsense to early morning you just to see you struggle fr.

His favorite thing is waking up before you. He's all dressed and ready and you're 2 inches away from falling off the bed.

Jeremy writes down all the weird shit you say and reads it back to you when you're sad because what the fuck does "are Venus flytraps predators" mean

Pyro

Probably ends up tangled in your Limbs too. This bitch is a SLEEP CUDDLER.

Gets worried when you wake up in a panic, shout about something that sounds important, then fall back asleep like EXCUSE ME?? WHAT??

Doesn't like that you kick them in your sleep, but they can live with it.

Very worried about the night sweats and ramblings. You say some fucked up dhit when you're asleep!

Soldier

This mf is used to waking up at 6AM sharp and being battle ready by 6:05AM. This caused one of the initial rifts in your relationship with him until you convinced him that not waking you as well is early stealth training.

You remind him of a baby bird when you're curled up in all the blanket that you stole from him in the night.

Doesn't really notice that you are a messy sleeper until you two have breakfast together one morning, with you half awake, those bleary eyes and sleepy sighs made his heart skip a beat.

Heavy

He calls you his little spoiled cat when you glare at him all bleary-eyed for waking you up.

Loves cuddling you like a big bear, always the big spoon.

lowkey a messy sleeper too, but is more agitated when half awake than you

you two having delirious talks when you two aren't awake fully omg couple goals

Demoman

You look like a pretty sleeper next to this motherfucker

drunk mumbling, sleeptalker, sleepfighter WWE in your bed.

Wakes up after you so ususally doesn't see the absolute wreck you wake up as. If you two wake up at the same time he makes fun of you.

You two have probably ripped the blanket in y'alls sleepwars. Mrs. Pauling has checked in on you two at 2AM after hearing shouting, only to see both of you, fast asleep, on the floor, and total messes.

Engineer

Thinks it's cute bc he rises with the sun if not a tad earlier to watch the sunrise. Absolutely tells you to "rise n' shine".

records your half-awake mumbles and talks to you, listens back to them podcast style in his downtime.

Is absolutely terrified that you will rip off his prosthetic hand so dating you absolutely instilled the safe habit of taking his hand off before bed.

Sniper

Is usually out of bed before the "fun" begins, but had overheard your morning routine

Isn't a fan of the blanket stealing, but overall doesn't really care. If he's in a bad mood he'll sleep on the couch so you don't steal it.

"Am i pretty, Mick?" "About as pretty as an aye aye when you first wake up" "Da-DAMN!!"

Has a poloroid of you fast asleep in his hat

Spy

This bitch c o m p l a i n s.

He's the most prissy little bastard when it comes to sleeping. He sleeps EXCLUSIVELY on his left side, legs in a specific way, and hogs the blankets. When you come into his bed and sleep-kick him out, he is flabbergasted. absolutely bamboozled.

Doesn't cuddle you, but now there is a pillow barrier that protects his precious sleep routine.

Secretly thinks you are downright adorable with how god-awful you look, crusty eyes and all

Medic

Doesn't really mind, but gives you light teasing about it. If he's having a bad day then he gets annoyed by the blanket stealing.

Wakes up and gets ready for the day, only to see the doves nesting with you and that melts his hearttttt

Kisses your gross ass awake every single day despite that

Has stayed up multiple nights to study your sleep cycles.

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #fanfiction #tf2 scout x reader #tf2 pyro x reader #tf2 soldier x reader #tf2 heavy x reader #tf2 demoman x reader #tf2 engineer x reader #tf2 engie x reader #tf2 sniper x reader #tf2 spy x reader #tf2 medic x reader #tf2 scout #tf2 pyro #tf2 soldier #tf2 x reader #tf2 sniper #tf2 medic #tf2 spy #tf2 demoman #tf2 engineer #tf2 demo #sniper x reader #tf2 heavy #tf2 mercs #tf2 mercs x reader #princethomas

[minquiec]

the ways in which you talk to me jia shows love to hb specifically

Hey god

It's me

Y'know

Again

I'm rlly going crazy w these lately and I don't Know Why but uhhmmmrhrm these were just scenarios I thought of that I think is cute so 🧍

I'm really obsessed!1!1 with this sleeping theme recently?? But anyways here we goes

Imagine if like hobie can't stand sleeping in the heat

Like he hates sleeping in hot temperatures and it drives him insane he hates it so much that it makes it hard to sleep and makes him even more restless than usual (ref my last post that I made)

and he also hates it cause he can't cling to jia as more cause EUEUUGEHH ITS TOO HOT but gf is too far ☹️☹️☹️💔💔

But anyways the scenario was he accidentally slept over at jia's and caught the summer heat in her world at it's WORST (cause I think china summers are hotter than eeenngland?? Idk it was a 2 minute google search don't trust me)

Bro was fucking going thru the motions

Actual suffering it was badddd for him and he thought it was bad back at home

And so it's like maybe 1:26 am in the morning and he's feeling way delirious and semi asleep but also not cause he feels like literal shiet with half a foot in hell

low-key sulking in his semi sleep cus it's so uncomfortable

And jia can't stand it!!! She hates seeing him so uncomfortable it makes her ☹️ awe

So what does she do except start quietly rummaging thru her drawers and closets to finddddd

A fan 🎉🎉🎉 yayyy

And if ur wondering no it's not those folding fans

IT LOOKS LIKE THIS

The design is very human, much wind very good

But anyways while he's marinating in his own sweat she also tiptoes to the bathroom to get a basin of water and a cloth

And armed with a fan and a basin she returns back to bed

And then,,,,ueueueueu UEGRHEH SNJFJEBJE

she'd start fanning him while up at 1 in the morning, occasionally swapping to the basin of water to wipe at his wayyy over heated skin like his face or back etc

(not rlly related but YKNOW WHO SHE LEARNT THIS FROM her grandma pwfhshsh y'know the ones who's DEAD cause she did the same for jia when she first arrived)

This isn't as big as the other one but it's still cute to me is she peels fruit for him

(the way she shows love is jsut very,,asian 😭😭😭)

I thought this cause to me ngl the idea of peeling fruits is soo

It's soooo

💔💔

Cause like imagine a mandarin right (or clementines or oranges idk the difference I'm not a fruit)

Usually when you peel for yourself you'd wanna remove the white fibers in between just because it's nicer to eat that way

If you were to offer bits of your mandarin to someone you're not that close to, you'd probably lowkey half ass it or even just give them half with the peel still attached 😭 (I'm jk)

BUT if it was for someone u care abt

You'd wanna put in the same effort you put into peeling as if it was for yourself

AND ITS JUST THE IDEA OF LOVING SOMEONE IN SUCH A MUNDANE AND SIMPLE WAY

I'm gone ugh

But yes jia peels fruits for hobie

That's it for now I'll probably wake up at one again some other time to add to this

#jipunk #lorerambles

[unbidden-yidden]

A rough accounting of what has happened since last weekend:

Had a slight sore throat but tested negative, so I still drove ~6 hours out of state to see family with Spouse

Did a couple things with Spouse's family while mostly masked/outside and then went back to the hotel

Woke up completely out of it and Bad on Sunday; I stayed in the hotel while Spouse spent time with family

Fire alarm goes off sometime in the late afternoon-ish. I ignore the first shorter run. Second time it goes off long enough that I realize that it's not a test and throw on my shoes and grab my bag and head out to the parking lot in my pajamas.

Turns out the hotel was on fire??

But like only a little bit

I couldn't see any smoke during my slow lap around the building, but that doesn't mean much

Basically every other person there is a 25 - 50 year old man, which makes the fact that I'm not wearing a bra more awkward than it strictly needed to be

Some guy runs up to another group of guys and asks "this motherfucker on fire?" This is greeted with laughter but no answers.

An hour and ten fire trucks/cop cars later, we're cleared to reenter the hotel

Smells kinda smoky but I really can't otherwise tell that there was a fire so that's good I guess

Also did I mention that this hotel doubled as a trucking school?

Seriously one of the most liminal places I've been in a hot minute, not helped by being deliriously sick and out of it

I go to lay back down and realize by now it's dinner time and I desperately need food

I order some soup and go on a delirious ten minute drive for this food

The food tastes weird, but it's hot so it's fine enough I guess

Spouse brings home Covid tests he's been randomly gifted by his family

The next morning I test myself since hey - we have tests and it never hurts to be safe than sorry even though it came up negative a day and a half ago

And

It

Comes

Up

Positive

So now, I'm in another state with a ~6 hour drive home, Major Work Things the scheduled the next two days, and now I'm tamei for Covid

(Spouse tests negative for Covid miraculously, and so far is asymptomatic)

(We skip out on the goodbyes with his family anyway though and hit the road)

It takes us 11 1/2 hours to make this normally 6 hour drive home, because I keep having to stop to set up work-related coverage

My driving is mostly okay but this is the loopiest I've been driving in a hot minute

(Spouse doesn't drive, so I am the only driver unfortunately)

We get home stupid late, and I collapse into bed only to get up very early the next day and proceed to work 6+ hours for coverage reasons.

I manage to work slightly less on Tuesday, which is good, because by that point I physically cannot stay awake for more than an few hours at a time and can barely talk.

Spouse is also now very obviously sick

Wednesday I sleep

Thursday I sleep

Friday daytime I sleep

I bring in Shabbat on time, and then proceed to fall asleep at 9:00 p.m. and sleep until 12:30 p.m. on Saturday

Sunday - well, after I got up on Saturday I managed to stay awake 14 whole hours! But I'm still sick as hell. Spouse is also still very sick, and both of us retested positive as of Friday afternoon. We'll see what the rest of Sunday holds I guess.

So anyway, time is fake, last weekend feels like a year ago, and some things are better not smelled or tasted whilst sick anyway.

[owlpartytime]

Days of Thranto Past Appreciation Post Day 6

Rather than writing new this Thrantovember, I am featuring the works of others that I love. Most of these are probably well known already, but it's always someone's first time seeing a fic! Rules were: 1. Story must be completed, and 2. Thranto must be the primary focus of the story. I'm featuring 3 a day (because I couldn't cut the list down) at random - I'd love to hear your thoughts on the selections (and please give the authors some love, too!)

The "Human" Virus by DistantStorm

Rolling his eyes, Eli said, "Back when you were somewhat pleasant, if exceedingly delirious, you suggested this would happen." He crossed his arms. "I've spent the last three days playing nursemaid and preventing you from ordering us to Hoth or Mustafar, depending on which way your temperature swung. You're welcome, by the way."

"I thanked you."

Eli crossed his arms. "Did you?"

Thrawn's brows drew closer together in concern. "I believe I did, before I asked you to—"

Eli leaned back, his own eyebrows rising in a silent question. "Before you asked me to…?"

Thrawn looked away from him. "I was delirious," He said, his face warming with embarrassment instead of fever.

Thrawn gets sick and is about as cooperative as one might expect. Eli takes care of him. Adorable and relatable to anyone that has had to take of someone that gets that way when they're ill.

--

All the Ways That You Are You by @diamonddove

At night Thrawn thought of Eli. Just simple things. The work they did. The words he didn't yet know in Basic that Eli translated for him. Eli in the morning in their room, shuffling about in a daze until he managed to take a sonic and wake up a bit. 

And more complex thoughts as well. Like the fact Eli made him feel safe and less alone. How that's not a feeling he was used to. There was only one person before that Thrawn felt safe and not alone with. That person was gone. Was Thrawn ready to have another person in his life like that? Does it matter if he is ready? 

Very sweet and (eventually) smutty story of Thrawn's thoughts (and eventual actions) of and with Eli over their time together.

--

when your tears have drowned you by @reythemandalor

“Because I know what is good” Thrawn’s left hand cradled Eli’s face. It was soft and tender. A thumb caressed Eli’s cheek, and a smile appeared on his face as Thrawn felt Eli lean into the touch. “And so do you. I thought you understood” A flicker of confusion on his face. 

Eli closed his eyes. He felt sick. “I…”

Thrawn leaned down, pressing a whisper of a kiss on Eli’s lips. “Why else would I choose you? You will learn to see, in time. It is simply another lesson. Sacrifice is necessary for the greater good. I know this, and you will too. This is what it has all been for. You love me, as I you. We will work together , as we always have. This galaxy can be ours now. And we can make it safe and right. Together”

Another dark Thrawn, and Eli doing what needs to be done. Heartbreaking and so, so good.

#days of thranto past #Thranto #Thrawn #eli vanto #sw fanfic #fic recommendation #ship tag #fic rec

[dzpenumbra]

7/15/23

6 AM. The creaks got me at 6 AM today. On a Friday morning. They were stomping around at midnight. They were stomping around at 2 AM, when I was writing my journal last night. Then they were up at 6, to the point where I just got up... after about an hour and a half of sleep... and again at 8. I don't even know when these people sleep. I don't even know how to sync my sleep schedule with them because it's just been constant and completely unpredictable.

Well... I just came down from jamming two improvised shims into the gap between the floor beam and the molding. I think it's just shoddy craftsmanship, a crap-build closet with cheap molding and the sound is likely the nail creaking inside the wood? Or something similar, I'm not well versed in this shit. But I was, through somewhat creepy and obsessive fixation and patience, able to identify the exact beam that was making the noise by... standing there and waiting. Just standing there for half an hour and just... waiting and watching. And sure enough... thump thump thump CRAAAACKcrackcrack thump thump And I took one of my cheap-ass foam brushes from 4 years ago that I never use and ripped off the foam top and whittled the handled into a wedge. I rammed that in between the beam and the molding, then waited. And waited. And sure enough, it made a difference. Not a huge difference... but a difference. So I just got done putting in a second one a few inches over on the beam, closer to the nail. And the footsteps have stopped, so I have no idea whether this worked or not. I guess I'll see in about... hmm... what time is it... 1:30? 4.5 hours? XD Oh god. Yep, this is what my life has become.

I really don't know what else to do, it's been 5 fucking days. I'm so delirious that I'm actually feeling high. I actually feel somewhat stoned. Like... "on the edge of freakout", "things are getting a bit surreal" stoned. So... I'm thinking I might as well just take a low-dose of the tincture tonight and go for it.

I went back to bed at 8AM and put my headphones in. I put on a binaural sleep thing and cranked the volume. It worked. But, again... only got about 5 more hours because the fucking batteries died. I'm still so pissed about that, they work really well when they work, but this battery life is just ridiculous. So, I just got up. I felt more rested than I had in a bit. 5 hours is a lot compared to 1. Plus, I had to be awake to get my groceries.

Today was basically a chill at home and get stuff done around the house day. Groceries, shower, more bead work, laundry. I was going to go skating despite the sleep deprivation, but the weather kept saying thunderstorm warning. The thunderstorms were supposed to start at 4 or 5, they started around 8. And they were intense, but short lived. So... I could've skated. Which sucks, but it is what it is.

The big thing from today was... I finally did my Instagram post for my hoodie. I even had some progression pictures from last fall to add in, from when the hoodie was just a freehand sketch in white pencil, progressing all the way up to the painted final product. I told the whole backstory, it was nice. It's been up for about 5 hours now. It has gotten 2 likes.

It isn't about numbers, it isn't about fortune or fame. It's about the work actually getting out there and finding people who like it, who want to see more, who want to support me in creating what I create... so I can pay my rent... And it shocks me how scam artists can find me like a fly finding dog shit, but somehow Instagram's professionally crafted perfection of an algorithm can't seem to find a way to get my art in front of people who are looking for that type of content. Hmm... must be my fault. Maybe I didn't Instagram correctly. I must not have played the game properly... hmm... wow, but really impressive how those ads do seem to be fine-tuned to the degree that they feel like they're fucking listening in to your conversations and shit. Really crazy how the ads are perfectly crafted to get companies who pay for ad space priority algorithms which actually work... while all the non-paying cattle can play the popularity game... the parallel algorithm that is designed to snowball popularity. See, I was gonna say... "If only Instagram had a functional algorithm that had a way of getting your posts in front of people who would really really be interested in it... you know... like their... ad... algorithms... oh..." So... I guess fuck me then.

It's not a matter of wanting validation. It's not a matter of wanting a self-esteem boost, though that would be an incredible bonus. It's about establishing a dialogue with an audience. And I can't fucking establish a dialogue... if no one can fucking hear me... because half of their feed is recommended popular accounts they don't even follow, and 1/4 is targeted ads. So yeah, I guess the reason I didn't post it sooner? The reason I'm kinda venting about now. What's the fucking point? One person who was a fan of my streams 3 years ago but has never shown an interest in my art clicked the "cool" button; one stranger did too, which is a bonus, I guess. I guess it's better than just... not posting it? I don't know.

Are people just that jaded now? Idk. I don't wanna go down that road. Whenever I start talking about "people" in the abstract like that it just gets super depressing real quick. Fuck that.

So yeah, that happened. Checked that off the side quest list on my whiteboard. And I decided to at least start sketching for the grip tape art on my trick deck... but I'm really just considering going straight to paint. I just... I have to be careful about layering paint, I have a tendency to layer paint really thick to get nice smooth blending. But thick paint means... less grip. So yeah, no, gotta be careful about that. I started sketching in colored pencil on grip tape. It's... something. It leaves a temporary sketch, kinda... but it's all like chalk dust, the second you touch it... it just comes right off. And it absolutely destroys pencils. So... yeah. I started doing the raven head, I didn't like the sketch... I wiped it off and started to sketch the circles for the mandala and that worked alright. Then it was just really late so I just called it.

The only other thing notable about today was... my meal plan thing. Today I tried one of the meals off of my new meal plan. I'm 100% vegetarian now, except for the fried chicken that was mistakenly delivered to me (instead of rotisserie chicken strips) and sausage that's in my freezer. It wasn't a big leap, and I still eat eggs, so there's that. I tried this meal that was basically like a caprese salad but with whole wheat pasta. And they wanted me to make two servings of it. And I followed the directions... and it was a fucking ton of food. A mountain on a plate. Like... I would not have eaten this much if the meal thing didn't tell me to. I would've eaten like... 2/3 the amount the recipe had me make. I'm fucking stuffed. But it was really light food so... yeah. I don't know. So I'm just kinda confused at this point... what to do diet-wise. I don't think my diet really has to change that much, I just have to be more conscious of calories? I guess? I honestly don't know. It just really caught me off-guard that after getting on this meal planner thing... my meal size went up... Maybe it's just the adding in of the exercise that made a difference. I have lost a visible amount of weight. Maybe I didn't need to change up my diet so much... as I needed to change up how sedentary I had become. But hey, cleaning up my diet a bit, cutting back on the butter and cheese a bit more... it ain't hurting.

The cholesterol is the scary part for me. And I still don't really know what to do about that diet wise... I guess fiber? That's been going well, and replacing milk with almond milk was seamless. Still don't know about eggs and all that. But yeah, honestly? I'm just really hoping I can get this whole sleep situation figured out pronto... because I haven't been exercising the past... 5 fucking days now. I did a full 30 day challenge straight into 5 days of forced insomnia and no exercise. I'm scared to exercise on such little sleep. It does not feel healthy at all. At all.

So yeah. I'm going to take a super low dose of tincture. I put together a playlist of good vibes hippie songs that should keep me from going to a bad place (fingers crossed) if I'm woken up and happen to be high... which is the exact reason why I stopped taking it in the first place. And... I put the shims in the ceiling so the creak noise should be significantly less. I hope. And... I have the AirPod music as an option in my back pocket, but the most it will get me is 6 hours. So... that's the arsenal. Is it enough? Only time will tell.

Oh, one last thing. My beans aren't doing well. The bottom leaves are really wilted and one of them went yellow. I think I overwatered them. I feel horrible for doing that to them, I really don't know how often to water stuff. My tomato loves water, it's watered like twice a week no problem. My Night Blooming Jasmine loves water so much that I had a mold problem in its soil and it flat-out didn't care. The thing has grown like a fucking weed. So... I've been trying to go by soil dryness but... I guess I didn't check well enough and overwatered them. So... I'm going to leave them until the soil is like... super-dry. I'm just not going to touch them at all and pray they don't have root rot. And hopefully they bounce back from this. Everything else is doing pretty damn well. The Pothos are all doing really well, they all have extra leaves now, all nice and healthy - from leaf cuttings in the mail from halfway across the continent to flourishing established plants. The Raven ZZ is just... doing its thing, growing like a damn weed and I'm trying to not stress about it potentially outgrowing its pot. The propagated succulents are doing very well, one failed but the rest are going strong. The chili has 2 peppers and plenty of flowers. The tomato has gone through a ton of flowers but... they just don't seem to be pollenating well. Or... I am not doing a good job helping it pollenate itself. So... I'll try to give it more attention, shake it up a bit. I've just been super gentle with it after its stalk keeled over twice. And that's pretty much the whole gang... the orchid is still kickin, kinda dormant... I haven't been watering it as much as I should because it really really needs distilled water and distilling takes like... a whole fucking day for like a quart of water. So... I'll have to get on that. It's not like I can just not water it. And I still want to plant that basil, I've put that off long enough... so maybe that's tomorrow's goal.

So yeah, that's where I'm at. All just hopes and prayers going forward from here that I can just get sleep fixed so I can get out there in the world. Its such horrible timing. I finally take a giant leap, I get confidence, I want to get out in the world regularly. I have a place to go, I have plans (the trails at the farm nearby and going to the skatepark), and the second I do that... my sleep gets fucked. For an entire week. By college students. I really really hope I get a solution for this soon, because I really don't know what else I can do.

Just a quick tangent. I know this is a PTSD thing. I know it. It's a nervous system thing, a hypervigilance thing. It's a "I'm not feeling safe, there's a wolf at the door" thing. Every time the jets fly overhead confirms it for me, it's not the same feeling. Having the maintenance guy actually enter my apartment validated it too, it was the same feeling, but to a lesser degree because that part of my brain had more information. Yep... this reflex was less severe when someone actually was inside my apartment. Because it's a reflex, it doesn't work by logic's rules. I know it's PTSD, I know it's isolation, I know it's living alone. But I still feel like... the way I put it when I posted in a support group this morning just looking for advice... I feel like I should be able to tank this. Like I should just get over it. Learn how to sleep heavier. Just get better. Or something. Like... I feel like this is somehow my fault, and it's part of living in an apartment, and I shouldn't expect peoples lives to revolve around mine. And I know that's my PTSD talking, my shit self-esteem, my broken self-worth, my self-blame. The problem is... it's partially right. This is part of communal living. And I don't really like this way of living at all. I want nothing more than to be in the forest right now. I just... need to find a way to get people into my life, to meet a community and develop a social network. And I thought moving here would do that... automatically, I guess? I don't know. And my isolation would get super bad in the forest alone, I know that from experience. Not that there are even places in the woods to fucking rent, they're all goddamn AirBnBs bought up by companies during the pandemic and converted into micro theme parks for rich ski bums to pretend they're "quaint and rustic" for a few days and then they sit empty for months at a time. I don't even know if I have any option but to... just somehow magically figure this out.

I found myself crying this morning. Going "I don't want to go on Xanax again. I don't want to go on Seroquel again. I don't want to go on Mirtazapine again. I don't want to eat fistfuls of Benadryl before bed again." Sleep problems are what sent me on meds in the first place. Desperation. Being out of answers, out of options. And going on and off of meds completely fucked up my life. I still haven't recovered. All because I had panic attacks and struggled with sleep from undiagnosed PTSD. That's all. So yeah. This is a pretty tough moment. It's not just... annoying loud neighbors. It's not just laying there with my eyes closed trying desperately not to engage with a gnat swarm of racing thoughts for literal hours at a time. It's not just jumping out of my skin and feeling like my heart is being stretched every time I hear that loud creak. It's the potential implications of what I might have to do if I don't find a non-medication solution for this. And all of the trauma associated with that. It's a doozy.

So... it's not quite as simple as just... someone getting cranky about noisy kids... then rolling over and going back to sleep. This is... someone who has had their life decimated by PTSD, constantly wrestles with agoraphobia... who is jostled awake by sounds sending him into biophysical flashbacks... repeatedly making him relive the physical and emotional sensations of traumatic events... every day. And then has to spend sometimes hours trying to calm his nervous system down enough to even consider sleep, because his heart feels like he just went on a fucking rollercoaster and his mind is racing like he just snorted a fat bump of coke.

But like... try explaining that to a complete stranger... Let me phrase that better... I would have to explain that to a stranger to be taken seriously, and even then it might be a stretch. I would have to expose how fucked my life is, how frail I am... just to possibly get some peace. And even then, there are no promises.

Ugh. And all this because some people just... moved to a top-floor apartment... and walk heel-toe, thumping their entire body weight unto their talus --- DAMN, it's calcaneus. I was close though, not too shabby considering I haven't studied bone anatomy since... 2009, I think?

Okay, enough dreading and dooming. I've done 5 nights of this, I can do one more. Fingers crossed. Goodnight (hopefully). Hey, that's a good song title...

#diary #journal #online journal #stream of thoughts #stream of consciousness

[viridiave]

bnha fandom how we doin'

#it's 2 am in the morning i'm a bit delirious #mha #bnha #todoiida #todobaku #todoroki shouto #bakugo katsuki #iida tenya #i'll probs regret this in the morning #it's still fucking me up now i can't sleep

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

KID WARNING!

Johnny “Coco” Cruz x Reader

Anon 1 asked: okay, so i just read “family” and it’s a freaking masterlist❤️❤️🥰 could you write a fluffy family time imagine with coco , reader and letti, like a movie night or something

Anon 2 asked: may I request coco x reader public flashing, like their in a store or clubhouse and when no one around she just randomly showed him the goods

Word count: 1.7k

Warnings: NSFW, smut

Thanks to my lovely beta reader @chibsytelford 💘

Author comments: I hope you all enjoy. Gif isn't mine, credits to the author.

Tag list: @starrynite7114 ​ @chibsytelford ​ @dazzledamazon ​ @mara-mpou ​ @sammskellington ​ @gemini0410 ​ @1-800-imagines ​ @briana-mishell24 ​@sassymox @whyisgmora @aquamento @sadeyesgf @viviansafizada @samcrobae @jade770 @witchy-wish @rebel-without-cause-x ✨ (if you wanna be tagged, send me a message!)

Spend your free night at home, now that you feel you have one, is the best idea Coco could had have. By morning, Leti and you went to the supermarket to buy a lot of junk food. Pizza, nachos, guacamole, popcorns, candies, chocolate… Definitely, tomorrow you will not be able to move unless you roll. And beer. Too much beer actually. You also had to threaten your boyfriend to not forget the family night all week long.

But he's late. He's always late.

“Yo! 'Am home!”

Coco's voice finally interrupts the silence in the living room, whilst Leti and you are putting everything on point in the kitchen. The younger goes out to greet him with a soft hug and a palm on his chest, listening how she says “you're gonna clean it all”. Yes, that's the punishment for being late. The mexican chuckles, crossing the hallway and wrapping your waist with the tattooed arms, as your back meet his chest. Raising a hand to his mouth, you offer him one of the piece of jam you're using to make the big pizza. He takes it with the incisors, eating it before kissing your neck so gently holding you closer.

“I love you”. He whispers on your left ear so dearly your legs shake for a second. “Is gonna be the secon' best nai' of ma' life”.

“What was the first, ah?”

“The one I met ya'”. Using the same low voice, he rest his forehead on your shoulder having a deep breathe of your scent. “Tha' was the best nai' of ma' life, mami”.

He doesn't need some words like his back, he's pretty good and satisfied with the goofy smile your lips are drawing on. How couldn't you love him? That's impossible. Turning under his grip, you place your hands on both sides of his neck, standing on your tiptoe enough to reach his lips kissing them peacefully, taking your time and enjoying the taste of tequila on the other tongue. Seems like he has forgotten that Leti is around, setting up the table, when he cups your ass with his hands, squeezing it. And that's the sparkle that lights the wick. Your hands touring his abdomen under the shirt he's wearing, dragging your nails over his skin giving him some chills.

“KID WARNING!”

Leti's scream scared the shit out of you jumping for a second, aa your heart does, whilst she's breaking in laughs.

“It was her fault, givin' me that… jam so sensual. You're the devil, mami”. He chuckles kissing your forehead.

“I didn' know you were into meat, I thought you were more into fish”. His daughter jokes on him, making you laugh covering your mouth with a hand before continuing making dinner.

“I didn' know I was livin' with a clown”. Your boyfriend palm her forehead, walking away to your room.

“All ready?” Leti ask then to you, looking around in case she's missing something else.

“All ready. The pizza will be in five”. You nod putting it inside the oven, turning after to her. “Beer is cold, and the rest is on the table. Netflix on point?”

“Netflix on point”. She replies imitating you.

“Cool”. You say highing five with her.

Of course, you two chose the movie. One of those that mix comedy with action. The night passes by, eating the whole pizza even if Leti said maybe it was too much, and all the junk' you bought as the empty beers were piled up along the table. The younger was lying down on the couch, while you were on Coco's top on the sofa. Your hands touring his chest under the shirt with smooth caresses, with his tangled in your hair. In a moment like that, you're already thinking about what happened before in the kitchen, trying to get somewhat comfy over his body. You're not gonna kick out Leti. You're pretty happy of spending some family time without nobody bothering you. But you has to recognize that you missed your boyfriend a lot today, waking up by morning with him already gone.

Saved by the bell.

Leti's phone rings on the table with Gabri's name blinking on the screen. She practically jumps off of the couch hanging the call and getting somewhat nervous.

“I'm sorry. It was amazing, but Gabri had a date with EZ an—”.

“Just leave, mija”. Coco chuckles moving his hand, no needing an explanation.

You wait impatiently for her to leave the house, feeling guilty for needing him so much that you're happy Leti is going out with her friend. When the door gets closed and you can hear her steps walking downstairs, you attack Coco's lips so hungry you can't handle it. His hands squeezing again your ass, pressing it down to make you notice the lump under the sweatpants he's wearing. And it's pretty delirious. You moan against his tongue, mixing your saliva and tasting the beer on them. Your hips moving looking for more friction with your panties getting somewhat wetted because of him. And you two are so focused on pleasing each other, that you don't hear the door.

“SHIT, KID WARNING! YOU DIDN' EVEN WAIT TWO MINUTES!”

“FUCK OFF, LETICIA!” Coco shouts, making her laugh.

“I'm stealing you fifty bucks fo' the new trauma. Bye!”

Licking your lips as you see how she disappears again crossing the door, your boyfriend bites your neck raising up a little his waist looking for more moves of yours, knowing he's too much needy.

“C'mon, mami… You've been provoken' me since I came hom'”. He almost sobs wit a scratchy voice, sucking your skin.

One of his hands pulls off your shirt, throwing it to the floor before catching one of your nipples with his lips. A soft gasp escapes from yours, touring your left hand to his hardness. You stroke him tightly above the pants, drowning his wailing and some curses against your breast.

“You wan'me to ride you, papi?”

“Fuck, stop playing!” He claims pulling down by your legs the panties you are on somewhat angry.

You love to tease him and seeing how fast he gets furious. Sitting up a little on top of your man, you throw away the only clothe you were wearing, before grabbing the waistband of his doing freeing himself. Licking your lips as soon as you rub your clit over Coco's sensible skin, he nails a hand on your ass and guiding his dick pushing it inside you without no more wait. You can't help but screaming out his name, needing a simple touch from him after being the whole day away.

Bouncing on top of him, spreading your legs and supporting one feet on the floor, you go deeper. Your nails dragging his chest as your moans flood the living room. You know how much he loves watching you riding his hard cock and your breasts jumping as if they were dancing. With his hands nailed on your hips, he forces you to dig his waist harder against your legs. And it's feel amazing.

“Fuck, mami… You drive me crazy…” His voice is hoarse and full of pleasure, closing the eyes and showing you his parted lips.

Leaning back your head a little, arching your back and placing both hands on his thighs, you move your body front to back. Fast. So fast. And you don't care if it's going to be quick, you're desperate and he's totally anxious for cum inside you, feeling the heat that emanates from your body. Coco is totally in love with you, since the first moment. And took him a little to recognize his feelings for you, but even if it's not all about sex, he wish he had done it before just to have seen you more times like this.

You lie down over his chest as he tangles a hand on your hair to push you closer. The mexican bites, sucks and licks your lips, sliding his tongue into your mouth to finds the other to take a pulse in a filthy and dirty kiss. Coco slaps your ass twice, making you growl because of the pleasure, squeezing it as his waist dance with yours needing to go faster thrusting you heavy. Your whole anatomy stirring under his hard grip, giving you shivers up your spine. And without expecting, he turns you above the sofa, putting your back on it without pulling away his cock. He pounds you harder, crashing his abdomen against your body making you move at time. Coco wraps you with an arm, placing the other on your throat.

“Who is your papi, ah?” He spit to your lips, almost touching them with his.

“You!” Screaming because of the thrust, you feel how he's pushing you to the limit.

“Who owns this wetty and delicious pussy, ah?”

“It's yours, daddy!” You almost sob arching your back because of an another hard pound. “Please… make me cum… I beg you, daddy… Please”.

Drawing a petty smile on his lips, he squeezes a little bit your throat under his fingers. Sinking his lips on your neck, pulling away his thumb enough inches to bite it and suck it, leaving a reddened bruise there. That's the magical move that makes you crash down into a delirious orgasm, with your shaky legs surrounding his body, pushing him deeper inside you with loud groans stuck in your mouth. He fills you with his seed, howling because of the pleasure above your skin, bristling it.

Some tired kisses trails up your jaw to your lips, drinking your air as he tries to recover himself.

“Fuck, mami… You're a fuckin' blessing”. He whispers with trembling breath and his heart racing, making you laugh low. “Wha'? It's true! I fuckin' love ya'”.

“I love you too, Coquito”. You mutter back, licking his salty lips with the tip of your tongue. “Mi papi…”

“Solo tuyo, mami”. He nods lightly caressing your cheek and pulling away some bristles of sweaty hair.

#mayans mc x reader #mayans mc #mayans mc imagine #mayans x reader #coco cruz imagine #johnny coco cruz x reader #coco cruz #coco cruz x reader

[pbandjesse]

Im having a sleepy day. But i have the heat on and im on my flannel pjs and im drinking a milkshake out of my cactus cup and things are good.

Since it was the day after an overnight it's a 10 hour work day and a day off all in one. So tha2gs pretty nice. And i did sleep okay last night. I was just really tired so that helped. I stayed up and talked to Jordan for a bit but it was raining and cold and i was looking forwaed to getting some rest.

I keep losing my new chapstick. Last night somehow misplaced it and I spent almost a half an hour looking for it. I got in change so I thought maybe I dropped it there. I was in and out of the ship and Museum and I was everywhere. I couldn't find it. I eventually found it in the goat Locker where the lost and found is. Because I taken a hoodie that was in there. And then the box of Lost and Found stuff fell on top of me so it must have knocked my Chapstick under the ground at some point while I was in there cleaning it up. I was just glad to find it again.

It was a very cold last night. I was okay and my sleeping bag and extra flannelly blanket. But I still got woken up a few times because I was Tangled or my sock fell off. When I woke up at 2 a.m. to use the bathroom somebody's phone was going off and just making all this noise. So I had to go and find the person. And I ended up just pulling their phone out of their sweatshirt pocket that was hanging up on the wall and turning the phone off. And then at some point there was a big crash. It sounds like it came from above us and no one came down to see what was going on or tell us something that happened so Jordan.

I felt okay in the morning when my alarm went off. I went and got washed and fix myself up. I mostly just court all the clothes I brought so still very cold. And then I went to make the breakfast and Jordan went to wake everybody up. It was an okay morning. Cold still. Not as rainy. I did the gun drill and had the kids run the actual program themselves. Calling the commands and stuff. It's a one little girl was so small and have the softest voice. It was a very funny seeing her do all the commands. But she did a really good job. We're under the gun drilled 5 or 6 times and they got really fast by then. It was fun watching them do it. The mom was dropped one of the employment in the harbor but she didn't so it was all good.

Jordan to the firing. We had a misfire for the first one again probably just because of water in the barrel. And then I finish cleaning up. And everybody went home. Me and Jordan were there until about 9:30 finishing paperwork and helping Frank clean. It was a fine day. I somehow lost my Chapstick again. But I didn't end up finding it was all the way down on the ship. While I was walking around the ship I was looking for trash and just making sure everything was away and I was in the hold and I notice that there is a big piece of wood on the ribs. That I don't remember being there. I'm staring at it for a while and I'm like could that be what made the sound last night? And I just couldn't figure out if I remember it being there. But I decided I would just let Jordan know.

I go upstairs and I tell Jordan hey like I don't know did you hear that bang and he thought maybe it was the sign that's on the top deck which sometimes does get knocked over which make the sound. But he said he would go look. He was like that was not there. So I went down and take pictures of it which is what you see above. And we sent them to Amy and to the site manager and they were like well that's not good so yeah a big piece of consolation fell down last night. No idea what they'll do about that.

We headed back over to take me to drop everything off. During help me finish my quiz that I had to fix. And then I bite home. I looked crazy because I had my blanket wrapped around me. Because my jacket wasn't warm enough to keep the rain out. But I got home and I wasn't too Frozen or wet. I got a shower and I made an egg sandwich. And I got into bed. James had gone to go get his bike fixed but he was going to come see me right afterwards. And he got here around noon.

I have been home for over an hour at that point but I just wasn't able to fall asleep. I think because I knew he was coming and my brain was just like got to stay awake. Can't waste the day. Because I knew he had to go to an overnight at 4. So we weren't getting a lot of time today and tomorrow is going to be very similar. But he came and we laid in bed and talked. It was really nice to see him. I had a weird moment where I was so delirious and he didn't look like himself for a second. And it kind of threw me off. But it was really nice being with him. And eventually I was able to fall asleep.

We got out of bed around 2 and went to work at my studio. It's easier to keep that room warm in the daytime when I need to be doing work rather than sit in the living room. My bedroom is okay to heat but the living room is a little hard with having the big hole in the ground to leading to the basement. So we work down there and I work on necklaces while he took photographs of pieces that are going up on the app see. I worked on the fantasy hockey boys drawing. He helped me figure out which ones I needed to change. And it was fun looking at the actual photos with him compared to my interpretations. I got a big kick out of that. He says he's going to share it with the guys he's playing the league with. So I'm excited to hear that feedback as well. It's such a silly little project but I'm really enjoying doing it. I like thinking my pencil drawings. But I don't usually have much inspiration for drawing so having a solid project was nice.

James left here around 3 so he can get something to eat and I haven't up ordering take-out that I regretted. I mean it was fine I just don't really want to eat as much fried food as I have been. So I'm going to make an effort to not eat out as much this week or at least not fried things. Like soup and stuff will be okay, salads. But the last two things I've gotten eating out I felt bad about. I did get a big enough Pizza that I can have two more meals out of it so I don't feel as bad about how much it cost but I still am trying to not eat as much greasy food. Because she's making me feel bad. I'm going to go to the grocery store in the morning and get eggs and cheese. I'll probably try to get some like quick races as well and maybe some soup so I won't have to buy things outside of my apartment.

I spent basically the rest of the night in my studio. I worked on art for a while. And I painted a little. I cuddled with sweet pea a lot and I started reading. It was like the first day since what feels like the spring that I've had the brain power or attention span to actually read. So that was nice. I really hope that I can get that back because while I had a great summer it's been a little hard that I haven't been actually reading. Cuz I love reading. But yeah it was just a nice night and my studio. I came up here about an hour ago and I've been watching videos and I made a milkshake. I think I'm going to do my eyebrows and get ready for bed. Tomorrow I want to wake up early so I can go to the store and then come back here. James is going to come back here after his over night. And if all goes according to plan we're going to carve our pumpkins finally. Because Halloween is in two days 3 days? We really need to get that. It's nice having pumpkins around but I would really like to carve them. But I'm just hoping for a nice day with my favorite boy. And hopefully I won't be cold and I can be comfortable and make fun things and it will be a good day. I hope you all have a good night tonight. Sleep well. Stay warm. Have fun.

#ootd #weirddog #cat #ship #museum #satuday #day off

[fictoryismine]

So, I was away all month, had to go to my baby brother's wedding --tbh I forgot straight people still got married And then "vacation" which meant my dad drunkenly singing Mambo Number 5 at the top of his lungs for 6 days We booked this off in JANUARY as we have every year since 2012 and it is OUR week and nope! We don't exist anymore. It's not "haha everyone feels like it's a sibling rivalry" it's actually the one part of my life that just leaves me gutted every time and like an idiot I think it'll change somehow. Then we got home and like 16hrs later my wife sprained her ankle and spent like 9hrs in the ER (I couldn't go, covid restrictions) and it was just like, AHHHH I NEED A VACATION FROM MY VACATION!!!

Also all of this happened during her birthday which got majorly overshadowed and I was like, so, real talk, I haven't been to a real store in almost 2 years and we share an amazon account, so there are no surprises, can you please just tell me what you want, I know we are both exhausted, can we literally just pick a date and that be your raincheck birthday because I know I'm not going to do it justice. We'll order take-out and have a nice cake and do anything you want, just, not while everything is falling apart at once. SO! Being a married adult is really fun if you love things like telling someone, "I can't feel how your ankle feels... but... take a pain pill, elevate it and ice it and try to stay off it a few days" and it was a big thing until I was like, okay fine, what would you like me to pack, wear comfy pants, here are headphones, a bottle of water, fruit snacks, a book, I'll wait with you for the cab I guess?

TO BE TOLD...9 HOURS LATER... "take a pain pill, elevate it, ice it and try to stay off it a few days" *FACEPALM!* Better safe than sorry, but, oh my god. She left at midnight and didn't get back until 9 in the morning, it was ridiculous. I wasn't being flippant when I said, "I don't know, does it FEEL broken?" I am 1) not a doctor 2) giving her autonomy

Also it was like 30c every day we were at my brother's [7hr drive] and 9c and rainy during my holiday which meant minimal swimming/fishing/boating and a lot of being cold and wet In 5 days I think we drove like 25hrs? It was so stupid. I was ridiculously angry and no one noticed which made me more angry and I blew up at my family last summer and don't want to be someone who just yells every time my feelings are hurt for decades at a time, but, damn. ALSO: My dad's useless cousin was over not social distancing watching the news at our cabin just so he could loudly talk about how covid is fake-- And my parents didn't say, actually, they were both really sick and coughed up blood and had fevers and were delirious and are still physically exhausted months later, so it is real... I just had to sit there like, oh okay thanks everyone No wifi, obviously, but I was able to edit a little bit. A huge moth flew onto my laptop and scared me though.

I'm not even scared of bugs just know it was huge and super attracted to the white screen of wordpad So, I have to deal with all of whatever the hell that all was before I can get another chapter out Also, I have my 2nd covid shot on the 20thish and will 1000% be sick as a dog for a few days because my immune system sucks and my lungs are just 2 wet garbage bags at this point... So, again, always trying to write, but a lot of the time my life is just a series of unfortunate events and I'm like, hahaha I sure wish I knew what a resting heartrate felt like so I could sit quietly and write