#it's not even jopaz

[garbagequeer]

the thing about bughead is that you could always just take a look at it and go well what’s the big deal it’s not even jopaz

#like if we're doing straight jughead ships with a chance in early riverdale #it's not even jopaz #riverdale #thing

[definitelyjunehomestuck]

No you dont. Im a stranger smh bozo move fool. Dont you see it says anonymous right there. I knew you couldnt read bozo smh smh smh smh.

#asks #jopaz #was tempted to jus post ur discord tag but that felt a lil too much lol #also even if u hadn't told me i'd know cuz ur the only person who types like this :]

[ladyinrosso]

I’ve come to the conclusion that the only reason why I still enjoy Jeronica, Barchie, Beronica and Cheronica is because the authors haven’t ruined those ships making them canon

#i'm serious #Varchie and Veggie were ruined with the mafia stuff #Choni was great at the beginnig but then Toni was reduced to Cheryl's girlfriend in all 3A and then is always : Cheryl does something bratty #or shitty and instead of Cheryl apologizing for what she has done we have Toni apologizing even if she hhasn't done anything wrong #and being all I understand you and I love you #even if Cheryl has no growth in two seasons #Jopaz and Archosie are two great ships builted only to be sacrified in a wink #Koavin was first forget and then destroyed only for shock value #McMantle was handled so badly that sometimes I forget they were dating in season two #and don't get me started on how bad Bughead is #or how to turn a boy those dream was become a writer into a teenage gang leader who seems unable to make a right decision #and a lovely girl that was a great friend into whatever thing is Betty now #The only ship that was a good one was Valarchie back in season one. It was good while it last and I liked also how it ended #anti riverdale #anti riverdale writers

[thetaoofbetty]

What even was the point of Jabitha kissing? Like is that just going to come back later or they really just did Jopaz 2.0? Because that scene felt so out of place and awkward or maybe thats just me

super awkward! 

my best guess? plot device to have him bring up not recovering from the bughead break up so him hallucinating about her later makes narrative sense. that anyone would think she’d sit there and hear about how he’s not over a relationship from 7 years ago and then later go, yep, that’s the man for meeee is laughable to me tbh. 

#besos! #riverdale spoilers #anti-jabitha #just in case #violet1429

[riverdale-retread]

Riverdale S2 E20 (Spoiler Warnings!)

- Jughead and FP urgently discussing Serpent Business at the Diner sotto voce is my new kink. They’re so terse, so mas-cu-line, the conversation punctuated with FP punching surfaces and Jughead doing that put-upon-leader sighing he does so well.  But we know that one of them is a man who almost burst into tears because his son cut up a(n evil) woman, and the other one is the ultimate softboi. The dissonance is delectable.   I also enjoy how very carefully the Jones men groom themselves - FP with his excellent facial hair always perfect, Jughead always letting the exact right amount of hair escape his beanie. Bravo.

- Veronica explains a mob thing to Archie by saying,  “It’s very Borgia / Medici.” Does Archie know who they are, or is he having a Scarlett O’Hara moment of wondering if they’re a family in Centerville? ... I’m sorry. I keep harping on Archie is Stupid but actually, maybe, the fairer thing is to say Archie is Frustrating.  He’s  a quarterback (that takes brains), he overcomes a learning disability with the help of a classmate (this takes grit), he grasps the fundamentals (I think?) of music theory and song composition.  So OK, I will stop snarking at Archie (for now).  Oh and they live in a world where Jughead has seen and references the Shonda Rhimes show Scandal, so maybe they also have Showtime’s The Borgias.

- In any case, this was a sad Veronica episode for me, because she decides fully to go into Junior Mobster mode and lets go of the struggle to be a bigger, better person, that she was trying for in Season 1.  Bye bye, Mama V.

- Super Petty Protagonist Girl Nitpick: Why does Betty never share her umbrella with Jughead? This is the second walk to school when it’s raining that I’ve seen her not share her umbrella and Jughead is just getting rained on. The first time was post Bughead Consummation, that walk the morning after.  In that scene, though, she has a deathgrip on the umbrella because she’s reliving mopping blood off her floor alongside her mom, and when she realizes what Jughead is talking about (”I thought we had a really nice evening and then you hung up on me”), she shares the umbrella.  But in this episode, it’s raining and they’re walking to school after Jughead thinks the Chic Situation is dealt with, and she’s not sharing the umbrella.  Is it part of Jughead’s self conception somehow that he doesn’t need umbrellas?  But he wears a knit hat all the time, which probably shouldn’t get wet, and he’s so careful about his hair (you know he is), so why doesn’t he mind that it’s getting damp?  

- Bulldogs v Serpents actually culminates in a climax in this episode! Hey!  Also the neat bisecting of the frame, Archie on the left, Jughead on the right, to show that the Battle For the Protagonist Boy seat at Riverdale is now fully on!   And I was so excited!  This is still Advantage Jughead, including the part where Hiram + Dark Circle is too much for Jughead to handle and he has to beg for Archie to appear to help him out, because the frantic “please” that Jughead screams at him while looking terrified makes this all about Jughead’s feelings.  (And then Archie/Reggie shoot Fangs in the stomach, so you know, there’s nothing that Archie can’t get involved in without making things worse).

- Oh and another one for Jughead is So Very Brave.  Being a human shield for a friend when a homicidal mob is calling for his blood. Wow.   And same kudos to Toni, who is the tiniest person ever, throwing her lot in.  I want Jopaz!  Give me Jopaz!  (And I guess Sweet Pea too, but I mean, how could Sweet Pea refuse if all 90 lbs of Toni is all in?)  The paternally tender touch that Jughead gives Fangs as Fangs tries not to cry -  This is the true Daddy moment, no?

- The Junior Divisions of the Southside Serpents are the most awesome squad ever.  Even I want to join at this point. I mean truly. What the heck did Jughead write in the novel that pissed them off so much? And how could he??

- Absolute delight at Reggie assuming that it was Sweet Pea that Midge would’ve gone for, to cheat on Moose with, because that’s who Reggie would also pick, out of all the Serpents.  Reggie, the second best looking boy in Riverdale, agrees with me that Sweet Pea is The Hottest, and Sweet Pea just accepts the attention as his right.

- Betty + Cheryl match up!  And Betty wears Blossom Red when she’s with Cheryl, because Cheryl > Betty, always. My queen. I love to see Cheryl, I like her nerves of steel, and of course she is up for all the things (going to the morgue, breaking into Hal’s hideout).  This stomach she has for the dark side of life is actually good set up for Serpent Cheryl later. (Surprised!)

- The thing is the choice that Betty makes to have Cheryl as her investigation buddy  really undermines the Betty Is Jughead’s True Home theory.  I  have already accused Betty of low-octane classism.  I think she’s been annoyed by and judgmental of Jughead being poor, and his father struggling (a felon who works a minimum wage job, compared to her college educated literati parents). She decides, in the way of one with Blossom blood, that something as shameful as your father being a serial killer must be kept in the family, which means leaving Jughead out.  By contrast,  Jughead fights to get Betty included in Serpent things whenever she deigns to be interested.  

Betty is Jughead’s family, but Jughead is not Betty’s, which echoes the fact that Archie is Jughead’s brother, but not the other way around.   Why are you doing this to me Betty? 

- I’m really shocked by how much I don’t remember.  All my memories of Riverdale are entirely peachy-warm Bughead bits - that is to say, Jughead Worshiping Betty moments, with the shoulder kisses, using his Earnestly Tender voice, and the smiling at or about her all the time.  Things I didn’t remember are:

a) Reggie starts to work for pay for Hiram in this episode, in Season 2b, as the Dark Circle.  This means they have a really, really long history, which explains their intimacy (between a groomer and his victim?) in S5 post time-jump.  Reggie never left Riverdale, even, so the sheer amount of time he’s spent with Hiram is huge and without the 7 year gap of no contact that the Main Four had.

b) Fangs hooked up with Midge!  Joaquin comes back from wherever it was he went!   People get really, really busy behind the scenes among the secondary and tertiary characters. Midge hooked up with Fangs, but was bf/gf with Moose,  who later hooks up with Kevin, who then gets semi-married to Fangs. I need a whiteboard. Do Fangs and Kevin ever talk about either Midge or Moose?  Also did Fangs and Joaquin ever get bored one night, adding more branches to this tumbleweed of relationships? 

c) Jughead somehow managed to get former Mayor, now Attorney McCoy to work pro bono for the Serpents, and McCoy simply accepts that Jughead, a child in her daughter’s class, is in loco parentis of Fangs, who is the same age as himself.  It would make really boring television, but I am very curious as to exactly how this conversation between Jughead and Attorney McCoy went down, given the fact that she treated him exactly like the child he would seem to her when she was mayor.

#fangs fogarty #reggie mantle #archie andrews #jughead jones #veronica lodge #betty cooper #cheryl blossom #Riverdale #riverdale opinions #too many thoughts about riverdale #southside serpents #sweet pea #spoilers #riverdale recap #riverdale episode recap

[storkmuffin]

Heard you got your first ask and I wanted to join in because it’s so fun getting asks!!

What ships do you ship in Riverdale? Like, even crackships?

I'm all for any sort of ship presented with conviction and passion and pretty visuals. I also enjoy content for ships that contradict other ships that I adore. So basically I have no morals or principles.

I loved Bughead, so Jughead x Sweet Pea wasn't one I'd ever thought of, but then I ran across people who do WONDERS with it and now I'm obsessed. I'd wondered about Jughead x Veronica but it seemed nonexistent, then I found the Jeronica shippers were doing great work & I'm very happy. I'm in S4 rewatch and Veronica x Cheryl is interesting to consider.

Total crackship that only I seem to have is Donna Sweett x Jughead. I *love* Donna Sweett's character, because I love full-dark villains, and she's legit dark and twisted and I will always stan for a girl avenging her beloved grandma.

In canon? I thought Jopaz was great and deserved more time. I LOVE Veronica with Reggie. But then the Fangs kiss happened, and now I'm open to unexpected Reggie pairings. I also wanted to know about Joaquin before and after Kevin - Joaquin x Fangs, maybe??

#omg another ask!! #and from a bestie! #i win all the things today #what a great question #i could go on about this all day but will stop myself #thank you!!

[staliasjeronica]

Choni never was a good ship. Sorry to say that, because even with jopaz she was used as token black character to prop Cheryl or Jughead. Only now that she is getting a solo storyline and it's because all the BLM. And even if you like Jabitha, you have to admit she have been used for the same reasons and same with Minerva. Veronica maybe a main but at end of the day she is always in shadow of her male co-stars, Mark and kj, showing how sexist is this show, enduring the sexy Latina trope.

I do kind of agree with you. Toni’s personality completely disappeared specifically because she was quite literally made to be the female Jughead. Her love for solving crime/investigating? Gone. Her friendship with him? Gone. All for the sake of Bughead and Betty’s insecurity of him being better off with anyone other than her.

Choni was really good and cute at first but over time they did the same thing, and the entire relationship became about Cheryl and Toni basically didn’t exist until they needed her, especially as they decided that we’d like those annoying crazy campy plotlines for Cheryl (even though they’re awful and, again, annoying and is just so dumb).

Tabitha is not being used as some side piece for Jughead, though. She’s a main and equal part of Jughead’s storyline and their growing relationship, but they could easily fuck that up but for their (the writer’s) sake I hope they don’t because she’s one of the top favorite characters of all time it seems (as she should be) and we’d all rightfully throw a bitch fit at them. I can’t really say much about Minerva because we’ve seen her like three times and I’m still confused on where she stands in the show.

And Veronica is definitely always in the shadow of the main core characters and it’s so goddamn annoying because she’s my favorite of the core four and quite honestly the best imo, and the fact that they basically hate her and would definitely sacrifice her for Betty makes me want to rip out my hair.

I wish we could get better writers tbh but idk how we’d do that.

#Riverdale #Asks

[anyataylorjoys]

Even the Serpents hate Jughead? So much for my Jopaz friendship reunion. This season doesn’t exist to me suddenly.

#💭 #riverdale

[arsenicpanda]

Why do you think Jabitha is so unpopular? I'm neutral on them but I love fanfiction and I can't find anything on them. Jopaz has more. Jeronica has tons more. I think it's becaue Tabitha doesn't really have development asides from 'Jughead's friend'.

Actually, I think it's that, by this point, people who want to ship Jughead with someone already have a ship they prefer, so jabitha has to beat a pre-existing ship for the top spot, which is really hard once we're five seasons deep. I think jabitha and Tabitha have solid development (of course a character having little development has never stopped fandom before, not that I'm naming names), but it's hard to compete with four to five seasons of canon and fanon. And I'm not surprised jabitha doesn't have as much content as jopaz and jeronica because those have been around for four and five seasons, respectively, whereas jabitha hasn't even had a full season yet.

I also think that if we get more quality jabitha and Tabitha content on the show, more people might start liking it enough to make content in fandom. I mean, I have some stuff in the works, and I know at least one other person has stuff in the works for jabitha and another for bugabitha, but writing is harrrrdddd and takes tiiiiiiiime. But hey, at least Bearfacedcheek's Breakfast, Lunch, and Supper is mega cute (definitely leave a review on this if you haven't, btw), and I've collected some cute tumblr-only drabbles in my jabitha fanfiction tag (definitely reblog these with encouraging tags if you haven't, btw). And if you're really desperate, you can check out this Tabitha roleplayer who ships jabitha on twitter.

But it does suck that we're currently stuck in rare pair hell, it's true.

P.S. - If you or anyone else is interested in writing jabitha or bugabitha, I would be more than happy to beta it.

#asks #anonymous #Riverdale #Riverdale season 5 #jabitha #rare pair hell is my normal location but it still sucks to be stuck in it #my thoughts on Riverdale let me show you them

[andsmile]

Since i feel like you are reasonable for bugheads and varchies (i love them both by the way and i know they are endgame either way) Do you think tabathia and jug are going to happen next episode? because i know there is this whole debate and i know trailers can be trolly over the seasons. i just wanted your thoughts <3

thank you!  not sure how reasonable i am but i try to perceive the show’s message tbh lol.

as for jug and tabitha, i’ll be honest: i’d love them to happen. i think they’re cute. i love tabitha. i love jughead. they work and they’re lowkey jeronica-bait imo (lol crying tears) in the way they interact.

however, i don’t think that jug and tabitha will be really romantically involved. in adult storylines not always relationships evolve to something bigger or to feelings. could they kiss? sure. could they have a one night stand? sure. could they never mention it again and keep on living life as usual? that too. it doesn’t have to mean a lot for it to happen, and we’ve seen that jughead has had his share of casual sex through the years. so it could be something that leads to nothing because that’s how it is. plus, they’re coworkers, and tabitha seems to be a professional woman.

so i think that either they’ll have a moment that will make them ~wonder and then it’s a somewhat triangle thing going on in 5B just to balance some scales after the cheating and the fwb, or that they’ll just kiss/have a one-night-stand that will die there and remain friends (like jopaz).

i know a lot of people don’t want jabitha to happen in any way because “it’d be using her as a plot device to bughead”, but i don’t really see it that way. even if something does happen between them and ultimately they just decide to carry on with life without problem, doesn’t mean tabitha is existing to prop bughead up. in any way or form. she has personality, we know some of her backstory already, she has interacted with other people (not a lot, but she has) and, most importantly, what matters is that she doesn’t get completely sidelined once betty becomes jug’s partner in the mystery again.

but i don’t think they’ll go down a romantic route with them. being in a relationship doesn’t fit jughead’s individual journey right now, imo, and tabitha seems to be too smart to get mixed with a hot mess that possibly still has feelings for his ex lol.

i see jopaz 2.0 but the way it should’ve been done, basically. if that makes sense.

#re: jabitha #i guess? #re: bughead #anon #reply

[zumpietoo]

they might say this is jopaz 2.0 but even they know that is not true, hence the multiple breakdowns and freak outs- fear. because jabitha has already been proven to be so much more jopaz ever could have been. jabitha is the one ship in the show with actual development before getting together, not even the most popular show BH had that. throughout this season, jabitha have been having moments they wish bh had. they wish betty acted like tabitha, hence the tabitha is betty copy accusations

Oh unquestionably. The only things jabi and jingle share is Jughead with a multiracial actress. And that goes back to racist

[imreallyloveleee]

I expected that ba will date yes, I expected that they will have sex it just that I expected a scene more similar to archosie, jopaz even veggie maybe it's bcs they are two mains

#idk what to tell you anon #expect the unexpected? #anti barchie #anon #riverdale speculation #riverdale spoilers #riverdale s5

[thatiranianphantom]

Okay of course I'm biased but I feel ba hooking up on the next ep would be really rushed to riverdale standards they usually give two episodes of build up to a couple that will be explore aka archosieand veggie (I won't include jopaz, Cora or the farm girl bcs in the end were just brush up) that's why I'm like 🤔. I still think it's ba on the shower but they just going to the raid an dthe hooking up even after ras said that their friendship from the pilot brings them together this season

It’s a good theory, anon! And honestly, Barchie can “explore deep feelings” (I REALLY feel that’s a huge overstatement) in a friendship way too. I tend to think after a very brief explosion of Barchie romance, they will be in the camp of friendship. Going the Barchie way is.....not going well for RAS. 

Again, though, why am I supposed to believe again that Betty and Archie are friends when she only usually looks vaguely annoyed at him? The only thing I appreciate about Betty and Archie’s friendship is the understanding that anytime anyone says anything vaguely academic, Betty knows she has to explain it to Archie right away. 

#Answered #Anti-Barchie #Anonymous

[riverdale-events]

Roses are red, violets are blue — we fell even more in love with Riverdale, because of all of you. Fall in Love with Riverdale: A Valentine’s Event was full of fluff, smut, and feels. Creators made an array of content for all kinds of ships and characters. Our 4 themes accrued a total of 79 creations on Tumblr and 31 fics in our AO3 collection.

Thank you so much to all the stupendous creators who took part in this event! Don’t forget to like, reblog, comment, direct message, flail like Kermit — whatever you can do to show appreciation for the talent and time spent by those who participated. They are what makes this fandom so incredible. Onto the content!

Tied with a Ribbon | bughead | edit, fic | @ophelia57

Choni Hearts Icons | choni | edit | @lonely-full-of-secrets

Accidentally in Love | fangs x reader | edit, fic | @southsidewrites

Betty Cooper Valentine | betty | edit | @jimalim

Cheryl Blossom Valentine | cheryl | edit | @jimalim 

Moulin Rouge | bughead | edit | @bettsc

Bughead x Valentine’s Day | bughead | edit | @pennyroads

Swangs Valentine’s | swangs | edit | @jimalim

Archie Andrews Valentine | archie | edit | @jimalim

Sweet Pea Valentine’s Day Icons | sweet pea | edit | @belovedfinch

Conspiracy Theories and Chill | bughead | edit, fic | @pennyroads

Sweet Pea + Pink | sweet pea | edit | @lonely-full-of-secrets

Character Valentines | cheryl, jughead, fangs, sweet pea | edit | @belovedfinch

SweetGi Valentine’s Day | sweet pea x oc | edit | @bugheadsjetty

Veronica Lodge Valentine | veronica | edit | @jimalim

First One to Eight, Sets the Date | bughead | edit, fic | @endlesswriter03 

Toni Topaz + Valentine’s Day | toni | edit | @jonesandtopaz

Valentine’s Coa Coa | bughead | fic | @bettycooperthefirst

The Mystery Secret Admirer | bughead | edit, fic | @my-broken-bones-are-mending90

The Dance Debacle | bughead | edit, fic | @writeraquamarinara

Jealous Valentines | bughead | edit, fic | @lizzybuggywrites

Jughead Jones Valentine | jughead | edit | @jimalim

Valentine’s Day Picnic | joavin | edit, fic | @vanillaflavour81

Thank You | sweet pea x oc | edit, fic | @worriestothewind

Block Betty & Reyna di Hielo | beronica | edit | @soylent-greene

Printable Valentines | cheryl, jughead, betty, archie, swangs, veronica | edit | @jimalim

At Last | bughead | edit | @my-broken-bones-are-mending90

what’s yours is mine, what’s mine is yours | bughead | gif | @theheavycrown

And I swear it shows (Heaven must be just like this) | bughead | edit, fic | @bettsc

You make my heart smile | joavin | edit | @vanillaflavour81

new traditions: february 2018 | bughead | edit, fic | @elizabethbettscooper

It’s Not Valentine’s Day Unless Something Goes Up in Flames | sweet pea x reader | fic | @sweetsserpent

Three Yellow Roses | bughead | fic | @kmlefev

I believe you, Jughead | bughead | gif | @jughead-jones

The Notebook | bughead | edit | @my-broken-bones-are-mending90

Heated Rooftop | beronica | edit, fic | @jane-hoppers

A Valentine for My Valentine | choni | edit | @jane-hoppers

Out of My League | bughead | edit, fic | @mamaxxmacabre

A Perfect Valentines (or an attempt at one) | bughead | edit, fic | @lizzybuggywrites

one foot in a fairytale | bughead | gif | @jughead-jones

A Valentine’s Anniversary | cheronica | edit | @crashhale

More every day | barchie | edit | @crashhale

L Is For The Way You Look At Me | sweet pea x reader | fic | @worriestothewind

Car Makeout | bughead | art | @juxtaposedmusings

The Bachelorette (Valentine’s Day Edition) | bughead | fic | @kmlefev

My Sweet | beggie | edit | @reggiefuckingmantle

insta-love | bughead | edit | @my-broken-bones-are-mending90

Sweet Shopping Trip | bughead | art | @satelliteinasupernova

You (Again) fic rec | bughead | edit | @shibbycat

paralyzed | fangs x sweet pea x reader | edit, fic | @jcrdanconnor

drinks & rings | bughead | edit, fic | @catthecoder

Dianthus Caryophyllus fic rec | bughead | edit | @shibbycat

haven’t you heard (it’s national ferris wheel day)? | bughead | fic | @thetaoofbetty

A/B/O Mine | bughead | edit, fic | @lovedinapastlife

Bad boy. Good lips. | fangs | edit | @worriestothewind

bite that lip | sweet pea | edit | @worriestothewind

We shouldn’t be doing this | sweet pea x oc | edit | @elizabethbettscooper

hold my hand, i’ll walk with you, my dear | bughead | edit, fic | @writeraquamarinara

Get my hands on you | reghead | edit | @crashhale

Guilty Pleasures | bughead | edit, fic | @lilibetts

hearts and handcuffs | sweet pea x oc | fic | @rivendell101

Sweet and Sexy | bughead | gif | @jughead-jones

Return the Favor | bughead | edit, fic | @exmachina187

i won’t tell if you don’t | bughead | fic | @bugggghead

How to Tame Your Valentine | bughead | edit, fic | @tory-b

the stars and moon have all been blown out | bughead | edit, fic | @kovicjones, @theheavycrown

Palentine’s Day | core four | fic | @kmlefev

Double Date | sweet pea x oc, reggie x oc | edit, fic | @southsidewrites

B & V | betty, veronica | edit | @bettsc

Girl Power | oc | edit @elizabethbettscooper

Palentine’s at Pop’s | bughead, kevin, varchie | fic | @lovedinapastlife

Bughead!Zootopia | bughead | fanart | @juxtaposedmusings

Toni’s Smile | choni | fic | @riverdale-enthusiastt

Love stinks. Let’s drink! | toni | edit | @belovedfinch

Valentine Schmalentine | oc | edit | @bugheadsjetty

Crimson and Clover | bughead | fic | @kmlefev​

Let’s be lonely together | jopaz | edit | @jonesandtopaz

Happy Anything-But-Valentine’s Day | sweet pea, fangs | edit, fic | @southsidewrites

don’t you know these days you pay for everything? | parentdale | edit, fic | @fredheads

#riverdaleedit #riverdale #bughead #fyeahriverdaleocs #southside serpents #sweet pea x reader #fangs x reader #joavin #choni #varchie #parentdale #bughead fanfiction #riverdale x reader #riverdale x oc #riverdale fanfiction #fallinlovewithriverdale #masterlist #*admin

[veronicassadboi]

Do you ship Jopaz?

I do... I... did?

I did when she initially came onto the scene, that was until she announced she was bi and had a preference for girls alongside the fact that they used Toni as nothing more than a plot device to cause tension between Jug and B, erasing any chance of Jug simply having a female friend. They could have still had that storyline where they messed around but Toni decided “nah, that’s not for me” and left it at that. They really didn’t need to bring B into it. Not even for the sake that it ended up centering around the B/ghead relationship, but for the fact that B really didn’t need to be played like that so soon after their break up. Why use Toni as a threat? It ruined the entire dynamic. Fool around, make a heat of the moment decision, let one of them figure out it’s not their cup of tea. Leave B out of it because now T looks like a shit stirrer.

Don’t completely fuck it up.

That particular storyline aside, I love and appreciate Toni’s bisexuality over the Jopaz ship and I do adore Choni. When Toni’s acting more than just Cheryl’s girlfriend.

At the end of the day I think what I’m saltiest about is the lack of a Jopaz friendship. This was truly his opportunity to have a Southside best friend and... where the fuck is that? He could have someone that understands completely (not to mention his art of writing and her art of photography would be siiiiick!) but I really want someone that he can lean on, and she needs someone she can lean on too! But I don’t expect this show to understand friendships at all where I don’t think Cheryl has a single friend at all and A and B who are supposed to be best friends from birth barely talk these days.

Yeah, I have messy thoughts about the whole thing.

#jopaz #jughead x toni #toni x jughead #my words #ask #anon

[riverdale-retread]

Riverdale S2 E21  (Spoilers)

- The most overburdened child in Riverdale  (Jughead) has the busiest night  in television history.  I wonder if this is why Jughead just up and lets himself get beaten to death - he’s *tired* and low on blood sugar and he has had no Betty Time and no Brooding Alone Time.  I was treated to some really beautiful close ups of pale wan Jughead looking miserable and upset (OK so this is my favorite Jughead, the tortured one, and yes I am a bad person).

- Riverdale HS becomes a battleground - so the thing that happened in S5, with the prisoners breaking in, was not new. And Archie and Kevin team up to defend it from, this time, Sweet Pea and some of the Serpents.  This is why Kevin is so calm when it happens again 10 years later, when he’s a grown man, because he dealt with this when he was a kid. 

- The FP- Jughead chemistry is truly unbeatable.  Both of them get highly emotional with each other in a way they rarely do with other people, and the Jones men have a surprisingly large vocal range. They’re almost singing at each other, sometimes. (”Will you just listen to me?” - “Auuugh!”)  Jones Man Allure (as named by Alice) is premised on a sadness so intense that when it rears up it makes them lose their voice and go hoarse.

- One of the undercurrent subplots of Riverdale is the battle for Protagonist Boy, which is primarily between Archie and Jughead, but in this episode Sweet Pea!! throws his hat in the ring!

Sweet Pea has some Archie in him: Once Fangs is shot, he begins acting out, destroying the premises of the school he was so pleased to be transferred to because it had working toilets (among other things), and because he’s so physically competent and so tall, he actually does a lot of damage.

Sweet Pea also gets a face off with Jughead, at the White Wyrm, when they argue about what to do next.   Two pretty boys with a curled lock of Raven Hair of Drama on their forehead have a nostril flare battle and I am so here for it. Jughead actually shoves Sweet Pea against the wall but it’s very evident that Sweet Pea *allowed* him to do this, because when Sweet Pea swats at Jughead, Jughead goes flying across the room. 

Sadly, Sweet Pea’s Protagonist Boy candidacy is short lived, because Jughead persuasively points out that Sweet Pea is too hot blooded and lacks strategy.  (The thing is, this is true of FP, so in the end, actually,  they do what Sweet Pea wanted to do, which is fight everyone, and the thing Jughead was afraid would happen happens, and they lose everything).

- Cheryl is one tough cookie. She reacts to a home invasion by an ax wielding psycho three times her size in all directions in a rapid sequence of empowerment: Scream - Run - Hide - Cry - Get Weapons - Threaten - Shoot - Call Betty (totally calm, strategy worked out).  Also, Cheryl has apparently been shooting more than targets at home. She accurately predicts how a wounded Black Hood will react to being shot with an arrow, which means she’s shot other mammals.

- Penny Peabody is a vastly superior villain to Hiram Lodge, and I wish they’d done more with her.  I absolutely adore how utterly peeved Penny is to ever have to be talking to Jughead, the stupid cocky kid, as the lead Serpent.  This is not what she signed up for, to have this twerp talking to her like he’s not even her equal but her SUPERIOR.  Penny Peabody vibrates with fury that this is what the Serpents have come to, and she’s such a petty bitch, too.  She has the time and energy to scrape off Jughead’s tattoo with the knife, but somehow not the stomach to slit his throat. Penny is also hyper competent - she’s a  competent attorney, she’s a competent drug dealer, and she can work with anyone.  Wasted talent, really.

- JOPAZ. All of the adult Serpents think Jopaz is absolutely real, and neither Toni nor Jughead ever deny it.  Tall Boy was the first one, to designate Jughead “your boyfriend” to Toni in the White Wyrm, and while Jughead flares up, neither Toni nor Jughead say ‘we’re not dating.’ Penny Peabody, the expert of Serpent underbellies, also thinks Toni is Jughead’s  girlfriend (Southside Smurfette, how dare you).

- A constant theme on even non-medical US dramas is the failure of the American health system. Fred had a ridiculously massive hospital bill that insurance refused to cover, apparently, which lead to him getting into financial cahoots with criminals.  The intake nurse that Jughead screams at does not give a crap that Fangs has been shot, and a nearby doctor overhearing the exchange by chance is what gets Fangs medical attention. Oh and that doctor gets murdered by a patient and nobody in the hospital knows what’s happened (This is similar to a storyline in Grey’s Anatomy.)

- Truly very funny moment:  Hal is showing the snuff film to Alice and Betty, and Alice starts to object, and Hal snarls, “Shut the hell up, Alice, for once in your life!” and Hal’s mom on the film reel chimes in with “That’s right” immediately after.

- Betty whacks a man  on the back of the head x 4!  This time, it’s her dad, and with a fireplace shovel. (S2: Shovel to Black Hood the False, Rolling Pin on Chic, Fireplace Shovel on Black Hood the Real, and S4: Golf Club on Brett)

- Jughead cannot ever help himself when he can get his Poirot on. He figures out what Hiram is doing, and instead of talking it over with someone, anyone, he just calls Hiram directly and tells him what he’s figured out, and asks “How much is this costing you??” and then offers an alternative.  Jughead and Hiram both know that Jughead is given Protagonist powers, even if he’s not a full on Protagonist Boy, which is why, as Penny says, getting rid of Jughead is really important to Hiram.   

-I found it very moving that Jughead keeps calling Hiram “Mr Lodge” in the same way that I found it touching that Weatherbee can stop two packs of hormone and grief crazed teenage boys in their tracks by just showing up and yelling at them.

-Oh and since I’m counting:  Archie has stuff happening but he’s currently subsumed by the Advantage Jughead situation re: Protagonist Boy, and as a result everyone associated with his particular plot thread (Veronica, who brings in Hermione, and also Kevin and Reggie) get pushed into the background with him.  See e.g. Hermione shoots a man to death in her house and it barely makes a ripple. By the way, why is there no panic room at the Pembroke?? 

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