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l4long-winded · 5 months

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o.s. the phone call regarding the onions

summary: richie won't stop calling and despite how busy carmen is, he picks up the phone. he didn't know richie would take so long to tell him about his trip to the farmer's market, let alone how impatient you would be in his lap (carmen berzatto x afab!reader)

reflection: i wrote this last night and edited it this afternoon. i find i have a hard time writing dialogue because i always want it to flow with my other descriptions. it's tricky for me, so this was an interesting challenge for myself. indulgent? yes. but intriguing nonetheless. as always, enjoy, and feedback is always appreciated!

warnings: cursing, kissing, phone call during sex, riding, religious allusions, more cursing, pussydrunk!carmen (the best kind), longwinded descriptions, slander of the elderly, cynicism, filth, secret girlfriend!reader, humorous dialogue, richie being richie, set before or during season 1 ig, double entendre ending, very slight dirty talk, overuse of the word "cousin" (please let me know if there are other warnings i need to add)

word count: 2,101

“Are you even listening to me, Cousin?” Richie’s voice irritates Carmen’s eardrum drastically more than it usually does, and that’s saying something considering how his tone and words always sift right under the flesh of Carmen’s forearms to scrape against his bones. He should really tell Richie to shut the fuck up, to get to the godforsaken point of this overdrawn story about his trip to the grocers, but Carmen can’t find the speech in him to do so. As a defensive and sharp individual, Carmen seldom runs into the issue of not being able to come back with a witty remark of his own speckled in a seasoning of honesty, but his brain’s already having difficulty concentrating on his shallow breathing. If he loses focus on that particular aspect, he would never hear the end of it. Richie’s too much of a pain in the ass to hang up on, in fact, he’s part of the reason Carmen’s in this predicament.

Richie just had to keep on calling over and over and over and over again. Carmen’s phone buzzed and buzzed and buzzed and the motherfucker on the other end would not take the fucking hint. Carmen recalls catching the flustered, frustrated, and deprived expression on your features as you looked at him, disappointment in your blown pupils because you knew you had to climb off his lap in the middle of your shared fun. Carmen assured you that it wouldn’t take long, to remain where you were because he couldn’t bear to depart from your heat for a single second in this state of mind, the state of nothingness possessed by desire. He’s confronted that compelling phenomenon too often with you and it’s absolutely everything for him. Richie’s call, Carmen surmised and explained to you during the fifth ring, would only take three minutes, five at the most.

Carmen forgets how bad at math he is until it smacks him upside the face and attempts to ruin his day. Richie’s been yapping on the line for about… how long has it been? Carmen stares up at the ceiling, phone pressed to his ear, pink lips parting as your tongue and teeth glissade down his neck. He can feel his body’s primal need to roll his eyes far into the back of his head, but he somehow sustains his half lidded gaze so he can raise his phone away from his ear to check the call’s duration.

14:53. 14:54. 14:55.

Seriously? Fifteen minutes of this bullshit? Carmen’s close to tossing his phone across the room so he can fuck you properly against his bedroom door, but he knows Richie. Richie would bolt on over here to tell Carmen his story in person, stomp away on Carmen’s remnants of alone time with you before he’s back to busting his ass in the kitchen. Carmen can’t have that. A fucking crowbar couldn’t pry you off his cock, and he’s sighing out shakily, pushing the mic away from his mouth far off to the side of the couch and into the cushion so he can release the tendril of fucked out noise you’re igniting in his stomach. Its smoke is climbing up and up, swirling around his lungs, collapsing into purrs and grunts of pleasure since he can’t be any louder than that. You haven’t made his mistake easy on him, fluttering your walls around him, arching as you rise and fall, adding in your lips and dutiful tongue into the sum of his impending eruption. He notices the twinkle atop the slim rings of your irises, how in awe and turned on you are from hearing those little noises he can’t will himself to wrangle down.

Do you like that?

He mouths.

Yes,

you nod your head.

For a moment, resolve slips. Carmen’s other hand maneuvers from gripping the throw pillow on his couch to gripping your thigh, sliding slightly down where he sits so he can roll his hips up into you. He revels in the gasp you inhale, your hands steadying yourself by the use of his shoulders. A ghost of a smile forms on his lips catching your pout and he’s about to inform you to behave when his phone speaks from under the cushion, still in Carmen’s other hand as he was trying to metaphorically and literally smother Richie, but the bastard’s gumption defeats Carmen’s efforts. He tightens his top and bottom lip together as he snatches the phone in agitation from under the cushion to lift it back to his ear.

“Carmy? Carmy? I’m fucking talking to you, Carmy,” Richie grits out, the bass in his voice scratching an unpleasant portion of Carmen’s ear. Carmen shuts his eyes, instructing himself soundlessly to breathe in through his nose and out through his mouth… the same mouth you kiss, your hands cupping his cheeks, tongue shyly petting his. He should put a stop to it. He’s powerless when you kiss him, it’s why he avoided doing so this entire phone call with Richie. He knew he couldn’t stop you, the hand once at your thigh palming up to your ass, his middle finger slipping under the fabric of your lacy panties that you still had on. It rests there, like it’s part of the ensemble (or lack of), twitching and clutching as the lace hugs him and tethers his digit to you.

“Hey, bozo, are you going to answer me or not?” Richie snarls, and Carmen almost tells him to fuck off, but you’re the one who takes mercy on him. Your mouth slides back down, lapping over a sensitive vein in his neck. Carmen finds himself falling back into the couch, licking his dry lips, a desire in him present to curse his friend out.

“I hear you, Richie, I fucking hear you,” Carmen blurts suddenly. He’s got a breathy rasp to him due to the sex, crimson in the face, yelling almost in the same fashion he does at work. You hide your amused grin under your hair as you tenderly kiss his jaw, picking up the speed of your hips. Before, your movements were gentle and small. But now, you have intention as you fuck yourself on Carmen’s cock, sucking spots on his skin to conceal your moans away. The worst part is that even though Carmen can barely hear them, he can feel the hum of each one vibrating against his flesh. And it feels like he knows you sound. How does someone begin to describe that? The walls of a cathedral must know exactly what he’s experiencing, angelic hums reverberating through their surfaces, etching sound waves into crevices and making them whole. That’s it. He feels whole. Complete. It’s almost as good as when he swallows those moans into his mouth and feels them alive in his throat.

“Yeah? Yeah? Then what the fuck did I say, huh?”

Shit… yeah, what the fuck did he say? Carmen’s horrid at multitasking outside his craft and he’s especially inept at maintaining his control and composure when he’s watching his secret girlfriend impale herself repeatedly on his throbbing length. He closes his eyes again to subtract sight’s distraction, middle finger sweeping back and forth so that your lace can rub his knuckle and jog along his memory. Oddly enough, it helps him collect the thoughts you’re so keen on dissipating with those gorgeous, enticing hips of yours.

“You said… you went to the farmer’s market,” Carmen begins, gulping heavily as you clench. “You went to… uh,” Carmen tilts his phone away from his mouth, biting hard on his index finger to refrain from hissing out. He glares at you, you’re being unfair, and the mischief is written all over your gaze despite the innocent smile you attempt to give him. He’s definitely going to pay this back. He’s not a saint, he holds grudges, and he’s harboring one against you for almost causing him to moan into his phone.

“Carmy,” Richie disrupts Carmen’s plans for vengeance and fortunately, Carmen instantly recalls what they were talking about like an epiphany, no thanks to you.

“You went to pick up the onions!” Carmen rushes, his syllables spilling over one another. He hates how he sounds. It’s different from his regular speaking voice and if they weren’t dealing with shitty cell service, Richie probably would’ve noticed.

“Then, what? I’ve been talking for almost twenty minutes,” oh, Carmen fucking knows, “and that’s all you’ve gotten from that?”

“Richie,” Carmen says as sternly as he can as your tightness sinks to his base. He sucks onto his upper row of teeth, pulsing increasing, lighting up with heat inside of your delectable walls. This is your fault, too. You and your enveloping warmth. You and your pretty face and your pretty cunt and your persistent needs, your pliant open legs as you ride him and make him drunk without a smidgen of alcohol around. He might as well have bathed himself in scotch, the effects most likely easier to handle than the vise you’ve got on his mind, body, and cock. “Did you, or did you not get the fucking onions?”

Richie scoffs, “Ugggghhhhhhh,” into Carmen’s ear. Annoyed by it, Carmen grips his phone tighter as he pushes it away from his head for as long as Richie does it. He shakes his hair out of his eyes as he retracts the phone back to its original position, his stare greedily finding where his cock disappears and reappears with more and more of that wonderful slick that glides him in deeper and deeper. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you! The fucking old broad from the lot gave me that dirty ass look as she took all of the product right in front of me. What the fuck is some old chick with a bad hip going to do with sixteen onions, Carmy? She had her stumbling grandson with his little toddler hands dropping the motherfuckers on the floor right in front of me because he couldn’t carry them all. Like, are you kidding me? Are you cooking French Onion soup for the whole neighborhood? For the next winter?”

“Richie,” Carmen grinds out as you grind down on him. His teeth clatter as he scrapes them together. “Richie… Richie…” He can’t gain Richie’s attention back as he rants in Carmen’s ear, as you swivel your hips and whine at the stretch. Carmen’s holding himself back, painfully hard from the experience you’re condoning.

“Next time I see her, it’s on. Watch what fucking soup she can make when I buy the whole stock and flip her the bird,” Richie continues, the sound of a trunk being harshly slammed on the other end. But Carmen’s had enough. He can’t take it anymore. He feels feral, he’s going to burst any second and he refuses to do so with Richie still on the line.

“Cousin, Cousin, Cousin, Cousin,” Carmen parrots, rolling his eyes as he increases his volume with each repetition.

On the other side, Richie talks over him. “She’s driving some ugly ass Pontiac, no wonder she’s bitter.”

“Cousin, Cousin, listen to me.”

“Do you think they’ll notice me if I take a stab at one of her tires?”

“Richie!”

“Nah, you’re right, it looks like there’s a bunch of fucking narcs around here.”

“Motherfucker, stop talking,” Carmen spits and that’s when Richie shouts back, his own irritation building because that entire time, he could hear Carmen babbling on and on. Apparently no one knows how to listen to a fucking story anymore.

“What? What, Carmy?” Richie responds with a yell. He must be inside of his car because Carmen heard a crash right after. Carmen pinches the bridge of his nose having finally snaked his other hand away from your underwear.

“So, you’re telling me… you don’t have the onions?” Carmen asks.

Richie sighs. The reason he felt the need to orate what happened is because of Carmen’s temper regarding the restaurant. He had one task today and he failed it because of some greedy elderly woman. Though, he understands how Carmen’s busy. Through this phone call, Richie hasn’t been able to hold his Cousin’s focus for very long. He doesn’t think there was any interval longer than three minutes where he had it all to himself.

“No, I… I don’t ha—”

The line goes dead. Richie looks down at his phone, fully tempted to call Carmen one more time to explain himself and make his stubborn, mule-headed friend see his point of view for once. He only doesn’t because he swears Carmen sounded like he was about to explode.

#l4l.writes #carmen berzatto #carmen berzatto x reader #the bear #the bear series #jeremy allen white #richie jerimovich #the phone call regarding the onions #l4l.oneshot

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brain-rot-central · 5 months

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Hey Jealousy

Rating: M/borderline E? (for now) Pairing: Spawn!A/Fem!Tav Word count: 3.5k

Warnings: NON-CANON, 18+, degrading speech, somewhat dubcon for certain parts but not totally?, adult themes, mentions of past sexual relationship, alcohol mention, alcohol use, blood mention, possessiveness, jealously, stalking, dry humping, ANGST, some fluff, bitter petty nonsense overall tbh

Summary: Astarion and Tav split at the end of the game due to a huge miscommunication. She tries desperately to move on, Astarion not so much. He finally gets ahold of her, aaaaand some messy feelings come out.

A/N - 1/28/24: Reuploading this! Not much has changed; mostly pulled it for grammatical editing purposes. Hopefully the story flows a bit better now!

The tavern is bustling with the usual weekend crowd. Upbeat music fills the air of the small establishment as this evening’s band continues their set. Drinks cascade like waterfalls into the hands and mouths of the tavern's parched patrons, each desperate for a distraction to drive out the unsettling reality of their lives, albeit for a few hours.

Astarion is perched in a corner of the tavern, circling the tip of his finger around the edge of his wine goblet. The unpleasant flavor of piss and vinegar lingers on his tongue from the spirit, mouth salivating. He sucks his teeth instinctively, trying to rid himself of the taste.

Reaching into the pocket of his favored violet and gold doublet, he retrieves a small vial of crimson liquid. He pops off the stopper and deposits the contents into his cup, bringing the cylindrical glass to his mouth to lap up the small droplet that rolls down its side.

He hums in satisfaction as the sweet flavor spreads across his tongue, floral and lively, before returning the stopper back atop the vial. Using a single finger, he swirls the additive into his wine, bringing the goblet back to his lips for another sip.

Ah, much better.

Surveying the bar, Astarion catches the attention of a young elven woman. She's aesthetically pleasing on the eyes - blonde hair with tan skin. Were he here for another reason, he may have tried his luck with her.

Astarion nods politely. The woman then rises from her seat, walking toward him. “Shit,” he mutters to himself, adjusting his positioning. He hurriedly repockets the blood vial within his doublet and hangs his head low just as she takes the seat at his booth, opposite him.

“Well, you’re certainly different from the usual fare,” she says, confidently. “Not often we get you teu-tel-quessir folk in here.”

Astarion absently swirls his wine. She believes I'm a moon elf?

Assuming that she's a regular of this tavern, this woman may be somewhat oblivious. Were she not, she’d have realized this is his third visit this month alone.

Astarion decides to play into her little game - he’s compelled to see how long he can keep the charade going. “I’m but a weary traveler, just passing through,” he lies. It rolls off his tongue like the caress of an old friend. Creating a fictitious life for himself is something he’s had quite a bit of practice doing.

“Is that so? I, too, happen to be passing through here.” The woman places her elbows on the table and leans forward, giving Astarion better access to the cleavage threatening to spill over the top of her bodice. His eyes fall briefly to the woman’s chest, but he doesn’t look at her face. Not yet. “Got the room rented out upstairs for a couple more days,” she adds, tone hushed.

Sliding her hand toward his, she gently rubs her fingers over the ones he has encased around the neck of the wine goblet. Astarion shudders, not expecting such an intimate touch, and finally lifts his gaze to meet her own. “Care to make a few mistakes with me?” she asks.

Astarion snickers. He can tell part of her story is a facade, though he doesn’t care enough to discern which.

“My apologies, love, but I’ve made enough mistakes to last a lifetime,” he replies. Pulling his hand from her, he grabs his wine by the cup, bringing it again to his lips. “I’ll have to decline.”

The elven woman softly hums in disappointment, standing up from her seat at the booth. “Such a shame,” she says, “you really are something beautiful.” She raises a hand to her lips, kissing the pads of her fingertips before extending them out toward him. Gently blowing on her fingers, she says, “If you change your mind, you know where to find me.”

Astarion raises his cup to her and she walks off, returning to her group of friends on the far side of the tavern. He groans a sigh of relief.

Wasting little time resuming his attention on the crowd surrounding him, another is quick to catch his eye. He's seen her before - long auburn hair flowing down her back with streaks of blonde scattered throughout. She wasn't dressed in her evening best, but even so, the blouse and slacks she wore left little to his imagination.

She's sitting at the bar in the middle of the tavern, a young tiefling gentleman holding her attention at present. He’s not her usual type, Astarion notes to himself, though he remains transfixed on their interaction.This is the second man he's seen this evening trying their hand at impressing the young human woman.

A smile forms on her lips as she converses with her current suitor. Astarion once again swirls his goblet of wine before bringing it back to his mouth for another taste.

He knows this woman, rather intimately, at that. He’s held her hair within his hands, traced the outline of her jaw with his fingertips. The smell of her skin is ever present in his mind. The saltiness of her sweat on his tongue as he lavishes her throat, the intoxicating roll of her hips against his as he bites down into the tender flesh of her neck… the rush of blood cascading down his throat.

He swallows thickly around the memory.

They've been together a handful of times throughout their travels to save the Realm from the threat of the Absolute, but that was neither here nor there, at this point.

The tiefling begins skirting his fingers along her forearm, and she leans into his touch. Astarion seethes from his place in the booth, a rush of warmth flooding his core and quickly spreading outward to each of his limbs. It’s been months since they decided on this new agreement, though his reaction is just as strong whenever another encroaches on her.

Astarion looks on as the red-head gently pats her companion’s arm before standing from her seat. His eyes follow her toward the back of the tavern. After downing the rest of his drink in one quick swing, he’s following her, careful to keep just enough distance not to rouse suspicion.

The music from the band thumps loudly in his chest as he draws closer to the crowd of people gathered before the stage. Lucky for him, they’re so entranced by the show that they hardly notice his mindless weaving, trying not to lose sight of his target. Astarion stops for a moment to refocus, looking around. It doesn’t take him long at all to zero in a glimpse of those fiery locks disappearing down a hallway off to the side.

His feet bring him to the start of the long corridor and he peers cautiously around the corner. The woman is not to be found, likely in the powder room. Astarion sighs, some of the built up tension beginning to wane from his shoulders, and comes to stand with his back against the window across from the facilities.

The residual tension within him is beginning to bleed into anxiety and doubt the longer he waits. His mind is rapidly exchanging scenarios, all of which cause his stomach to become unsettled. Gooseflesh spreads over his arms and the fine hairs covering them stand on end. Why is he doing this? They'd agreed to be friends and nothing more. It’s his fault for not being able to honor his end of the deal, he knew, but by the Gods, he simply does not care.

Since the first drops of her blood spread across his tongue, Astarion knew something within him changed. He wasn't sure if it was due to her being his proverbial “first,” but he felt… compelled by her from that moment forward. Bonded almost, in a strange way.

In a sea of crimson, her blood would always sing loudest to him. It horrified him in the beginning, recalling memories of Cazador's puppeteering ways. The fear ebbed into compassion, after a time. As their physical relationship grew more intimate, compassion melted into an overwhelming desire to guard her. A want to protect what was his, finally his, after so many godsdamned years of pure, absolute shit.

Their… whatever it was they shared, was his. And he would gladly throw his life on the line any chance he could to insure its sustainability.

He catches a glint of red in his peripheral vision again. The human, oblivious to his presence, begins her trek back to her seat at the bar. The thought barely has time to process in Astarion’s head before his body reacts, reaching out to grab the side of her arm, pulling her back toward the wall with him.

“What the-!” the woman exclaims in shock. Her other hand comes up to begin swatting at the offending appendage. She stops midway as her eyes meet his face, recognition washing over her. “Oh, Astarion,” she says, voice flat, “what… what are you doing here?”

A practiced smile graces his lips as he releases the grip on her arm. “Am I not free to seek my own pleasure, darling?” An uneasiness begins to take root again, mind scolding him once the words leave his lips. What in the hells kind of question is that?

Astarion clears his throat. “I was simply out for a drink before returning home when I saw what appeared to be a fire in the middle of the bar.” Unsure of what response he's hoping for, he's praying she doesn't catch onto his desperate attempt at recovery.

A quick blush spreads across her cheeks and she bows her head, giving a genuine smile. Astarion huffs out a breath in relief.

During their time together, Astarion would often tease that her hair reminded him of a raging fire. Eventually, he adorned her with the pet name of “spitfire;” she thoroughly enjoyed solving the majority of her problems through brute force. She favored it, evidenced by a deep blush that would spread across her features.

Not unlike the one rising to her face at this very moment.

Were he honest with her, he’d tell her that this isn’t the first time he’s followed her since they parted - watched helplessly from afar as she rotated through potential nightly suitors. He chooses not to, however. Chooses to not tell her that he’s noticed every man she’s taken home has platinum hair. How they’re always of elven lineage.

She seems to buy his excuse as she visibly relaxes before him. “Oh, no, of course, Astarion,” she sighs. “It's uh, it's been a few weeks, hasn't it?” Her eyes are soft as she shifts her weight onto one hip. “How have you been?”

She's nervous, he can tell. She's doing that thing with her lip, chewing the inside of it. The rush of blood in her veins crashes and bellows in his ears as her blush settles deeper across the top of her chest.

“As well as one would imagine,” Astarion replies, “after having their heart broken.” There’s an air of nonchalance decorating his tone. A well-worn smirk tugs at his lips. He's fuming inside at the thought of another touching her, but he doesn't want to play his cards outright yet.

No, he wants to see her squirm, wants to inflict just a touch of the torment he's experienced since their parting.

What a spiteful creature.

Her expression falls flat, jaw tensing. “I'm not sure what you mean by that,” she retorts in a meek tone. She pulls her shoulders back. "I-I thought we agreed to be friends, no?”

Astarion glances over his shoulder to see the young tiefling gentleman from before passing behind them. Their eyes meet, Astarion furrowing his brow. His jaw tightens, lips curling upward, and the peaks of his fangs are visible. He watches for the tiefling’s reaction, elated to find that the boy is clearly shaken by his display. The Tiefling turns to speak but decides against it, turning his back to the scene before him.

Astarion sneers.

Yet another unworthy fool.

Though… a fool who has touched her. Something he and only he should be privy to.

An inferno erupts within him.

Astarion grabs the young woman by the arm again and leads her toward the supply closet at the end of the hall, making quick work of the lock. Astarion scans their surroundings before opening the door and shoving her in, a small squeak pushed past her lips from the impact of his hand on her back. Quickly closing the door behind him, he yells, “Ignis!” a fireball lighting the lone torch in the room.

“Astarion, what-” she shouts in protest. Before the opportunity arises he’s back on her, pinning her in place to the wall with his hips. His hands fly up to cup either side of her jaw.

"Do you truly believe I meant that?" he growls low in his throat, their eyes meeting in a whirlwind. “That I only wanted to be friends?” he adds, mockingly.

He's desperately searching her face for something, anything to show him he's not alone in this. Her tense expression stokes the fire raging within him.

Suddenly, he's spiraling.

The small voice in his head, his conscience, is yelling at him to stop - to pull back. She’s made it quite clear how she feels, you love-sick idiot.

Logic fails him - he cannot form a single cohesive thought. Not when she's looking at him like that.

A doe caught unawares in the middle of a forest. Eyes blown wide, mouth slightly agape. Not unlike those he's hunted multiple times in the past. His chest heaves as he drinks in her expression, a wave of heat rising up within him.

The compulsion is overwhelming, rapidly losing the battle with the rational part of his brain. Bitterness bites at the back of his throat like acid.

He absolutely must continue.

“Is that why your home has become a revolving door?” Astarion says, watching her face shift.

“Excuse me?” the human asks, offense evident in her tone. A rhetorical question, though he pushes forward.

“Of men who look just enough like me?” he continues, driving the thorn deeper into the woman's side.

Suddenly, she’s stone, cold and unwelcoming. Her face twists into something sour, nose scrunching up in disgust.

“Astarion Anunín… Have you been stalking me?” she nearly yells.

Oh, he has her right where he wants her.

"The color of their hair does always match my own…” Astarion ponders aloud, head tilting to one side. “Have any of them fucked you as thoroughly as I have, darling?" he chides.

Pulling in a quick, ragged breath, the young woman shudders beneath him, her head falling forward. Her hips involuntarily twitch against the knee he’s suddenly wedged between her thighs and she whimpers, biting her lip to stifle the sound.

“Astarion…” she groans, eyes falling closed.

She’s upset, he knows. Yet, he’s privy to how she can barely resist the call of his body against her. Why not use that knowledge to his advantage?

A heavy flush settles across her face and she reopens her eyes, looking up at him through hooded lids. Astarion sees it then - the unabashed desire emanating from her.

How ironic, he thinks to himself, that her eyes have a hunter green hue. At this moment she feels like prey, wrapped up in a delicate satin bow, all for him.

The remnants of his eternally damned soul sing in delight at her unraveling before him. Saliva pools thick on his tongue as he lavishes the thought of pushing forward, closing in on her.

Astarion leans toward her, cocking his head again to one side. “Hells, Tav… Did it really never occur to you that we made love the last time we were together?" he asks quietly, mouth hovering just above her lips.

Tav shivers beneath him, body writhing against the wall she's leaning against. Her hands come up to press against his chest, gripping fistfuls of his shirt as she grinds herself again on the knee between her legs. The flush on her face is so deep, practically matching the color of her hair.

“Y-you’re hardly playing fair,” she huffs out. She moans again, genuine and clear, making little attempt to subdue the noise. Astarion groans in response before closing the distance, finally capturing her lips in a kiss.

He’s timid at first, wanting to gauge her reaction. Tav doesn't resist nor push him away, giving him the encouragement to continue. Her jaw grows pliant under him and invites him deeper into her mouth, tongues entangling for a quick moment. The kiss is brief - just enough until she settles beneath him. Both of their chests heave as they part.

Astarion’s eyes rest upon her lips before he draws his head back. His hands fall from her face and he lays his palms flat against the wall on either side of her head.

"My biggest regret is that I lacked the courage to tell you with words..." he admits, voice trailing off. The ghost of a smile tugs at the corners of his lips as he adds, "so, instead, I used the one tool I'm most versed with.”

Tav's pupils blow wide at the implication of his words.

Of course, Astarion used his body - used himself as an instrument. Again. To him, this is familiar territory. This is safe.

This is all I’m good for.

"It appears I must have gotten my translation wrong," he quips.

Tav shakes her head in disagreement. “It wasn’t wrong…”

She adjusts herself against the wall as Astarion’s leg falls back into a normal position, no longer wedged between her.

“I was so sure… and then the morning after, I- '' She cuts herself off and swallows. “I didn’t know what to think, Astarion.”

Astarion pushes himself off the wall, taking a few steps back from Tav to give her space.

“I don’t understand,” he begins, folding his arms over his chest. “I thought I made my position rather clear that morning. About…” He shrugs his shoulders. “Us. This.”

Huffing out a quick laugh, Tav shakes her head again, her discomfort in their current conversation mounting. “You started talking about being free, and-”

She stops herself again, choking back a sigh. “It just seemed so selfish to ask you to be with me. You were just getting yourself back, after so long.”

Tears begin to gather at the corners of Tav’s eyes. Gently with the pads of his thumbs, Astarion wipes them clean.

“Oh, my silly little love,” he says, lowering his face to place a chaste kiss upon her forehead. “How I wish you would have spoken to me first.”

Tav’s hands come up to cover his, removing them from her face. “I think… I think I need to go,” she tells him, urgently.

Nodding in silent agreement, Astarion lets her dip out from under him, seeing her inch closer toward the door.

Before she grips the door’s handle, she turns to look at him. “...Can we talk more about this?” She quickly gestures to their surroundings before adding, “In a better situation, maybe?”

Astarion can only sigh, chest rising and falling heavily. “Of course, my dear. Do you have a particular place in mind?”

Her eyes fall to the floor. Tav knits her fingers together nervously, rubbing her thumbs over the other. “Well… where are you staying?”

A quick laugh escapes his throat and he averts his gaze. His voice is soft and tender as he focuses on a broom leaning against the corner of the wall behind her, “...I went home.”

Tav furrows her brow before asking, “What do you mean by home?”

“Home, to Cazador’s,” he states, devoid of emotion. Astarion’s eyes fall back onto her, watching as she adjusts her posture.

“It’s not as though I know much else,” he continues. “I lack the gold or the ability to work. I have only what I’m able to pilfer off the unassuming, and I’ve grown tired of playing such a role.”

Astarion sighs heavily again before adding, “There are a number of… resources available to me, now that Cazador is gone. It would be foolish of me to squander them.”

Tav only nods in his direction, her expression falling flat. “Alright,” she says, “I’ll meet you… there, I guess.” She unlaces her hands and turns around, heading back toward the door.

“Tavaria,” Astarion calls to her as she wraps a hand around the door handle again, freezing in place at the use of her full name. “If you do decide to visit me, you’re going to need the passcode for the tower door.”

Looking over her shoulder, Tav waits for him to continue. Moments pass between them, the air growing thick and stale within the small closet. When she doesn’t speak, he pushes forward.

“It’s spitfire,” Astarion tells her.

He hears more than sees the small inhalation of breath she takes as his words register. Turning her head forward again, Astarion watches her finally twist the knob to the door, pushing it open. Tav steps out of the closet, looking at him briefly before disappearing down the corridor of the tavern.

Astarion slumps against the cool stone of the supply closet wall, light now pouring through the open doorway. His head is throbbing, an uneasy ache beginning to take root deep within his chest.

What a day.

#astarion #astarion x female tav #astarion fanfic #bg3 #bg3 astarion #astarion smut #astarion angst #jealous astarion #possessive astarion #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #astarion romance #fanfiction #astarion ancunin #astarion fluff

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wholoveseggs · 6 months

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~♡~Dating the Mikaelsons~♡~

Klaus, Kol, Marcel and Elijah ❤ if you are a Finn fan, sorry. But I'm not.

18+ ---- {Masterlist}

This is just some headcanons on what I think dating & sex would be like with the Mikaelson men.

Warnings: Description's of sex, kinks & dirty phrases.

One-shot editions:

{Part One -Klaus} ♡ {Part Two -Kol} ♡ {Part Three - Marcel} ♡ {Part Four - Elijah}

Klaus {Hybrids First!}

❤--Klaus is an unrepentant charmer and flirt, and will not be shy about pursuing you, but he will make it clear if he's after more than just sex.

❤--He has a way with words, and will say the most romantic things to you. I like to think he hung around with Shakespeare, so his poetry skills are insane. Like, he will casually say something about your beauty or personality, and you will still be thinking about it when you are in the nursing home.

❤--He's an artist, so he will love the way your body looks and will love drawing or painting you naked. He will have a secret place for his sketches of you, where only the two of you can see. He will create new paint colors to try and capture the color of your eyes. You will always find little folded up doodles he hides in your things, some romantic and some humorous.

❤--He's not one for pda, not because he thinks it's improper, like Elijah does. But because he's afraid his enemies will see him and use you against him. So in public, he's all about flirty glances and whispering something filthy in your ear. He has a way of making you feel seen and special, without making a scene.

❤--His ideal date is a long walk through the city, he will tell you countless stories of his conquests and past adventures, and will not shut up. But it's cute and will make you laugh, and you will find out more about him. He's less of a romantic than Elijah, but will still do sweet things. Like, he will surprise you with a trip somewhere just because, and he will always send you a bouquet of flowers.

❤--When it comes to sex he is a little more modern than Elijah and won't mind a more casual approach. He's fine with just having a quickie in the bathroom or against the wall, as long as you are both enjoying it. Out of all the Mikaelsons he is by far the roughest. He will pull your hair, slap your ass, bite, compel you, tie you up, etc. It's all consensual, and he would never actually hurt you. Klaus will absolutely eat your ass, and loves a good rimjob. He'll also love anal, and will be very vocal about his desires. He's also not against compelling you to cum over and over again until your legs are shaking and you can barely breath.

❤--Despite his roughness in bed he will never do anything degrading or shameful. If you want to experiment and try new things, he will not object. He's open minded and will indulge almost any fantasy, as long as you both feel comfortable. He will never force you to do anything, and will never call you names or belittle you.

❤--His favorite position is with you bent over something, with him fucking you from behind. This way, he can be in control and dominate you, while also allowing him to reach the perfect angle. He also loves to fuck while standing, and will often pick you up and fuck you against the wall, or against a table. He needs to feel in control and the way you cling to him is a huge turn on. He knows he's doing a good job when your nails dig into his back and when you scream his name. He loves dirty talk and is extremely good at it, he loves to whisper filthy things in your ear like:

~♡~ "Louder love,"

~♡~ "Fuck, you're so wet for me,"

~♡~ "You like when I do that, don't you?"

~♡~ "Don't be shy, sweetheart,"

~♡~ "So pretty and all mine,"

~♡~ "You feel so fucking good,"

❤--In terms of oral sex, he loves receiving it. He will demand that you get on your knees and suck him off, and will pull your hair as you do it. He will be very vocal, telling you how good it feels and will have a string of filthy praises falling from his lips, like:

~♡~ "Such a pretty mouth,"

~♡~ "Take all of it,"

~♡~ "Look at me when you're sucking my cock,"

~♡~ "Just like that, love,"

~♡~ "That's it. Swallow it all"

❤--He also loves to fuck your face, he will have a firm grip on your hair and will thrust into your mouth at a rough pace. He's not ashamed of the noises he makes, and will make sure that you're looking at him as he comes undone. He will make you gag, and he will love it. He will love the way your mascara runs and the tears that run down your cheeks. But he will only do this if you enjoy it. If you tell him no or show any signs of discomfort, he will stop immediately, and make up for it by making you cum.

❤--He loves to drink your blood and will often bite you during sex. It's not just the pleasure, but it's also a claim and a sign of possessiveness. He likes to mark his territory and show others that you are his, and only his.

❤--Because of his possessive nature, he will not be able to control himself when someone else flirts with you. He'll have his hands all over you, making it clear that you're his, and anyone else would be stupid to try and touch you. He's also paranoid, and will have a hard time leaving you alone. Fear of abandonment is a big issue with him, and he needs constant reassurance that you love him.

❤--Once you break down his walls, he becomes very sweet and vulnerable. He will hold you and tell you how much he loves you and how beautiful you are. He will be endlessly thoughtful, but can easily take offense if you don't respond to his affection as he expects. It will take a lot of work to earn his trust, but it's worth it.

❤--Being in a relationship with him would be eternally wild and passionate, but after a millennium of pain, abuse, and trauma, the slightest betrayal can set him off. He's a little obsessive and can have a short temper. He can also be extremely manipulative and will lie to you and use his powers of compulsion to get what he wants. But it's not malicious, it's mostly a defense mechanism, and once he trusts you, he will open up and not use compulsion anymore. But he can't help his temper, and if he ever loses control and hurts you, he will hate himself and be full of self-loathing. He will apologize and ask for your forgiveness, and will not stop trying until he's earned your trust back. But he is not one to be trifled with, and if you betray him again, he will kill you, no matter how much it will hurt him.

Kol {this is the superior version, sorry not sorry}

❤--Kol is the funniest of the siblings and will constantly be cracking jokes and making quips. But he is also very charming and will sweep you off your feet with his smooth lines and devilish smile. He's the wild child of the family, and doesn't care about societal conventions, so he will not hesitate to ask you for sex, or inappropriately touch you in public.

❤--But his wild nature doesn't mean he is disrespectful. He respects boundaries and won't push you further than you're comfortable with. He's the kind of guy who will ask to have a threesome, and then not be mad if you say no. He loves to tease and make fun of you, but will stop if he goes too far. He knows where the line is, and will never cross it.

❤--His ideal date would probably involve going to a concert and drinking. He likes clubs and parties, but not fancy events, like his brothers do. He would love for the two of you to get absolutely hammered and have an adventurous night out on the town. But he would make sure that you were safe and would never take advantage of you. And he would definitely have a witchy hangover cure to give you afterwards.

❤--He is surprisingly intelligent and loves to teach you new things, especially if it involves science or the supernatural. He also loves to learn, he would be thrilled if you took him out and showed him things about the modern world. I personally think he would be stoked about VR or space travel, anything that would feel like the combination of magic and science to him.

❤--When it comes to sex he comes off as kinky, but I think it's just an act and that he's secretly just a sweetie. Like Elijah, I think he loves to make his partner feel good, but can come off as selfish until you are in bed with him.

❤--His favorite position would be cowgirl, he would love the view and the feeling of you riding him. He's not really into control the way his brothers are, and would prefer to let his partner take the lead. He definitely loves to talk in bed, and would constantly praise and flatter you. He would make you laugh in the middle of sex, it would never be too intense, always light-hearted and fun.

Some playful things he would say:

~♡~ "I like it when a woman takes charge,"

~♡~ "Darling, are you getting tired already?"

~♡~ "You know, if you really want my attention, all you have to do is ask. I won't bite...hard"

~♡~ "I would never compel you, but please, sit on my face next,"

~♡~ "Oh, that was definitely not your G-Spot, darling,"

~♡~ "Don't make me spank you again, love,"

~♡~ "I could never grow tired of such a lovely view,"

~♡~ "It's adorable the way you get all flushed,"

~♡~ "I think you might just be the death of me, but that's okay, I've done it before,"

❤--He would love for you to sit on his face, he will do it for hours if you let him. He would joke about how this time around he would prefer to die in this position, and will happily spend all day between your legs. He would adore teasing you, making you beg and whine. But once he starts he will have a hard time controlling himself, so it doesn't last long.

❤--He doesn't like being bossed around, and would rather have a mutual and playful partnership. He's into experimentation and would love to try new things with you. He would be the kind of guy to wear a silly costume for a Halloween or roleplay thing, he would have fun doing it and would never let his partner feel uncomfortable. He's the least picky and the most likely to hook up with someone just for a one night stand.

❤--He's not super jealous, but would love it if you were. He loves attention and being the center of your world, and would constantly flirt with other people, just to get a reaction out of you. He wants you to make him feel important, and will do anything to keep your attention. He will have a hard time showing his emotions, and will avoid getting too deep or serious, but he does care about you. If you really need him, he will always be there for you, no matter what.

❤--Unlike the rest of his brothers, his loyalty is not tied to his family. He will follow you if you leave, and will always protect you, even if it goes against his siblings.

❤--The dark side to Kol is his bloodlust and impulsivity. He will not hesitate to hurt or kill someone if they piss him off, and will be a bit of a hothead. He will need to work on his temper, but if you are patient, it will be worth it. He's a lot like his brother Klaus in that he needs reassurance, but unlike him, Kol won't try and control you.

❤--Unlike Klaus and Elijah, I think Kol's method for dealing with someone threatening you, would be an absolute tongue lashing. He will be the king of passive aggression and will destroy someone's ego by just a few choice words. If they're lucky, he will leave them alive, but will make sure they won't bother you again.

Marcel {that smile ❤}

❤--Marcel would easily be the best boyfriend on this list, mostly because he has less trauma than his adopted family, but also because he is better at handling problems in his life. Charming, hot and a total sweetheart, he would treat you like royalty.

❤--A date with him in New Orleans would be the experience of a lifetime, yes Klaus may have founded the city, but Marcel knows its people. He would take you to secret spots that capture the city's culture and history in ways that even Klaus would have a hard time replicating. He is the perfect host and knows the ins and outs of every street and venue.

❤--Marcel would take you out on a dinner date, perhaps a cool house party, where he would introduce you to interesting people. He would make you feel special in a way that isn't flashy or arrogant. He knows that you deserve the world and he would treat you as such, but without going over the top and making it a huge spectacle. He's down to earth in that way, but it doesn't make his effort less special.

❤--He's not possessive in a way that feels threatening or suffocating, he loves and respects you. He is loyal and kind, he loves making people laugh and always finds the good in everyone, even those who are difficult to see the light in, such as his adoptive family. But if anyone were to treat you disrespectfully or hurt you he would kick their ass without hesitation.

❤--His greatest trait is his loyalty, he is loyal to those he loves and will not give up on them. He has an emotional maturity and intelligence that is not seen in many of the Mikaelsons and is good at dealing with his feelings. He has the devotion of Elijah, the intelligent ruthlessness of Klaus and the compassion of Rebekah, but he is far superior at balancing these traits in a healthy way, and has very few of their negative attributes.

❤--Marcel is a self proclaimed king and a little arrogant, but not in a way that makes him feel better than anyone else. He's earned it through sheer will and hard work, his ego comes from the respect and loyalty of his people.

❤--Marcel is the perfect mixture of flirt and charisma. He is a man with an easy smile and a mischievous glint in his eyes. He is suave and confident, but he isn't a pushover or someone who can't be serious. He knows how to be in the moment and have fun, and he's not afraid to love.

❤--Sex with Marcel would be very giving and sweet, even though he's a dominant person in general, he knows how to balance this with being respectful and caring to his lover. His favorite positions are cowgirl or missionary, as he loves the eye contact and he will never complain when you take charge. I don't think he's very kinky, and is mostly focused on pleasing his partner and making sure they get what they need.

❤--He is also a huge flirt who would go out of his way to make you blush and make your heart skip a beat. I imagine his words being playful and teasing, not necessarily filthy but certainly dirty in an innocent way.

Some examples would be:

~♡~ "If you wanna get to know each other a little better, I'm up for a more private session"

~♡~ "I love that outfit, but I bet it looks even better on the floor"

~♡~ "Hey beautiful, wanna grab a drink, and maybe I can get a taste of something sweeter later?"

~♡~ "Damn girl, you're hotter than New Orleans in August,"

❤--He's very honest in bed, he'll tell you exactly what he wants and how he wants it. He's also very touchy, his hands would be on your hips or back, always guiding or supporting you, but not holding you down, unless that is something you want, in which case he is absolutely into it.

❤--The downside to dating Marcel is that his loyalties can conflict and it may get complicated at times. He will choose his city and the people he protects over his own desires. It can make his partners feel rejected and betrayed. But he will be as understanding and respectful as he can, he will do everything he can to make things work.

Elijah {obviously this one is the longest lol}

❤--Like a character from a romance novel, he loves to kiss your hand, cheek and forehead. He does this thing where he cups the back of your neck before pulling you close for a kiss. This gesture is not always necessarily romantic, but it's subtly possessive, putting him in control of the situation.

❤--He loves taking care of you and spoiling you with gifts. Expensive luxury gifts are a common occurrence, but so are small thoughtful things, like your favorite drink, or a small trinket that he saw you admiring.

❤--Known for his iconic style, he loves to help you find the perfect outfit for any occasion. He loves the way you look in the dresses and skirts that show off your legs. He also loves to buy you jewelry to match said outfits and always notices when you do something different with your hair.

❤--He's not one to talk about himself or his interests, but with a little encouragement, he will tell you anything. He'll talk for hours about literature and music if given the chance, you love to see his face light up when he talks about the things he loves.

❤--He's not into casual dating or relationships, so once he's committed to someone, he is loyal and faithful. Most of his relationships are initiated by the woman, because he is too polite and respectful to make the first move. Unless, of course, they are giving him clear signals, then he will become the dominant and seductive man we all know and love.

❤--He's not a one night stand sort of guy, and will only sleep with someone if he really cares about them. He won't even consider the possibility of cheating, and will expect the same from you. If you are having trouble committing, or if there is another person you have feelings for, he will let you go and try to move on.

❤--He is a man of tradition, and will always treat you like a lady. He will open doors for you and pull out chairs, and will not hesitate to correct any guy that is a little too friendly with you. He is protective but not possessive.

❤--But just because he's traditional doesn't mean he doesn't love independence. It turns him on to see a woman fight back and be able to stand on her own. But sometimes his protective nature gets the best of him, and he will try to protect you when he feels like you're in danger, even if you are more than capable of handling the situation.

❤--He's not very vocal about his feelings, and probably won't be the one to confess that he cares. But he will definitely show you with his actions, and is very loyal. If you're upset, he will give you space, but if he feels like you're bottling up your feelings, he will encourage you to talk about it. Since he has lived for so long he has lots of wisdom and can offer advice and comfort. He has a tendency to be the level-headed one in any situation, but can be very emotional, which is a side of him only his closest friends and family get to see.

❤--He is a great kisser, and is very passionate. He can take charge and be rough and demanding, or be sweet and romantic, whatever you're into.

❤--Elijah is also the most experienced and well-versed lover out of all the Mikaelsons, and that is saying a lot. One thousand years of experience as well as always being selfless in all aspects of his life, will result in some insane sex. He will take his time with you, exploring every inch of your body and discovering all your sweet spots. He knows what he's doing, and he's going to make sure you enjoy it. He is very patient and can last a long time, and is the master of multiple orgasms. He will make sure that he is the only thing you're thinking about when he is inside you.

❤--Missionary is his favorite position. He loves being on top and watching your face as he pleasures you. He loves to praise you and whisper sweet things into your ear as he fucks you, and loves to be dominant. He loves seeing you underneath him, writhing and moaning as he hits all the right spots. He loves hearing your moans and gasps, and the sounds you make when he kisses your neck. He will give you the best orgasm of your life, and he will do whatever it takes to make sure that happens.

❤--He loves oral sex, and you swear he might have popularized it during his travels in the middle ages. He will go down on you for hours, and will not stop until you're begging him to fuck you. He's very good at it, and will know exactly how to please you. You've never had a better orgasm than when he's eating you out, and he will make it his mission to give you as many as possible.

❤--He loves consent and will always ask before doing something new or different, he likes to make sure that you are always comfortable. He wants to hear your opinion and what you like, and will do anything to make sure that you are satisfied. As long as it's safe, and he knows you'll be enjoying yourself, he's not opposed to a little experimentation, but he doesn't really care for it either. He prefers vanilla sex, but he won't say no to anything.

❤--He is not used to others taking care of him, so he will likely try to deny his needs at first, not wanting to burden you. But once he realizes that you want to take care of him too, he will let his guard down. This level of trust from him is a precious thing, and it's a sign that he's falling in love.

❤--Once his walls are down, the kind of pleasure he loves to receive is intimacy. He will want to make love, not just have sex. He will want you to hold you and tell you that he loves you while making eye contact. He craves connection above all else, and will be very intense and passionate. He's too much of a gentleman to ask, but giving him oral sex will make him feel special, and because he hates messes, he prefers to come in your mouth.

❤--Although he may be the most vanilla and gentle lover out of the Mikaelsons, don't let that fool you, because once he lets his walls down, he is an animal. He will pound you into the mattress, and won't stop until he makes you cum so hard that you see stars. He loves to praise you and tells you how good you're making him feel, and loves to watch you come undone.

He'll say things like:

~♡~ "You look so beautiful like this"

~♡~ "I love the the pretty little sounds you make"

~♡~ "Tell me what you want,"

~♡~ "Look at me"

~♡~ "You feel so good"

~♡~ “I love the way you come undone”

❤--He's not very into public sex, but he has a thing for making you come on his fingers. He will find a quiet corner and fuck you with his hand, making you cover your mouth to keep from getting caught. He loves to look you in the eyes as he does it, asking you:

~♡~ "You like when I touch you like this?"

~♡~ "You have to be quiet, my love,"

~♡~ "Do you want more?"

~♡~ "That's it, just like that,”

❤--Elijah won't want to bite or compel you, but if you desire him to drink from you, he will, and will do it carefully and respectfully. He prefers to drink from your neck, gently cupping it the same way he does when he's pulling you in for a kiss. He will not be rough, and will take care not to hurt you. He will always heal the marks with his blood after, and will feel guilty if he draws too much blood.

❤--His aftercare is unmatched, and he will make sure that you are taken care of and pampered after. He will prepare a hot bath or shower, making sure you feel comfortable and loved.

❤--But this level of intense love and devotion has a dark side. If you are threatened or harmed by his enemies, there will be no holding him back. He will show no mercy and will not rest until he has made them pay. He is by far the most vicious in his family, and will go scorched earth on anyone who harms his loved ones. And he will do it with frighteningly calm precision, showing no remorse.

Finn whoops

☢--Finn and you can take a long nap together. Then you can hear him endlessly complain about his self-righteous bullshit, until you realize you made a huge mistake and you leave him.

{Part One -Klaus} ♡ {Part Two -Kol} ♡ {Part Three - Marcel} ♡ {Part Four - Elijah}

Thanks for reading! I swear I tried to make it short....

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commandermahariel · 1 month

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actually i really don't fucking get the whole ''anders was better in awakening" circlejerk. "sealene you have posted about this several times already isn't it enough" NO IT IS NOT

anders in awakening is a cliche funnyman guy whose motivations aren't particularly interesting or compelling. oh he likes cats and doesn't like templars and wants a pretty girl. truly revolutionized writing. it doesn't help, of course, that awakening is only like 15 hours long if you do all the side content, and really none of the companions are that fleshed out.

idk man i don't have any screenshots or long professional essays about character analysis i'm not that kind of blogger. i'm just some guy who finds the da2 version of anders much, much more interesting and compelling as a character. "oh they ruined him in da2" it's called fucking character development?????????????

anders in dragon age II is far from being a flawless person. some might even say he is a bad person, and while i don't really agree to that, i do see where those people are coming from. but he is an interesting character, one that provokes heated discussion even 13 years after the game's release. how often is there any meaningful discussion regarding awakening anders that isn't just "hur dur he was better back then"?

i don't even dislike awakening anders he's a fun little guy wish he wasn't voiced by fucking greg ellis tho but come on man would this man really be an interesting companion in something longer than a 15 hours long dlc with very little companion interactions

edit: i have a feeling this post might breach containment so in case it does -- i wrote this while being kinda sleep deprived and without thinking too deep, i was just pissed at dragon age reddit being stuck in 2016. i could have articulated my point better and with less generalization towards daa anders but i won't bother rewriting the post now because most people likely won't see the new version anyway

#if you want to argue with me i suggest not bothering and scrolling/blocking #i am open for normal discussion just don't start with the terrorism support accusations or whatever you people like to do #dragon age #anders #da spoilers #<- for mads #walks out of reddit covered in blood. these people are stuck in like 2016 discourse #he should blow up more buildings btw. he can blow up my house for all i care #i would make a salty comparison to other characters in this franchise. but i shan't #i am being incredibly normal about dragon age. as usual. nothing to see here

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etherealising · 3 months

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chapter thirteen | the injury of finally knowing you

masterlist | ↢ previous chapter | next chapter

pairing: carmen berzatto x fem!reader

summary: hard conversations are inevitable and that’s exactly the lesson carmy learns when he decides to finally be honest with you.

warning(s): unintentional slut shaming (lol) | ooc carmy | very minimally edited |

wc: 7.6k

The sound of the bathroom door opening did little to draw your attention as you sat on Carmy’s bed, eyes trained on the letter in your hand. You hadn’t meant to snoop or anything, as Carmy showered you stayed in the living room for a bit and tried to work more on the rough draft for your article but the inspiration just wasn’t there at the moment, so you ventured to his room to wait for your turn to shower.

You didn’t think you’d ever willingly read these letters again, so when Carmy asked if he could have them you had no problem allowing him to take them. But then you saw them sitting folded on his side table and you knew exactly what they were before you reached for them. As you waited for Carmy to finish you read them, you weren’t sure what compelled you to do so but you read each of them from start to finish even when you could feel the emotion clawing up your throat. The worst part of it all was that you couldn’t even remember when you penned each letter, they were dated but the emotions spilling from your words made you feel a bit ill. It was almost like a different person wrote these letters, of course, you still felt the hurt and anguish, but you were sure you’d always feel it.

“Shit,” your eyes moved to find Carmy making his way towards you, quickly gathering the letters on the bed before gently removing your grip from the one in your hand. “I’m sorry I shouldn’t have left these out.

You watched him tuck them away then felt the caress of his thumb against your cheek, the motion soothed you even as he moved his thumb up to wipe a fallen tear. “Do you read them often?” You weren’t sure if you wanted to hear his answer, but you also didn’t want him beating himself up over something that was entirely out of his control.

Carmy’s thumb continued tracing back and forth against your cheek, eyes flicking between your own before his hand dropped, his eyes following soon after. “Too often…kinda like if I uh read them enough it’ll fix everything.”

Your heart clenched at his words a quiet sardonic laugh following behind them, “Sounds fucking stupid I know I just,” he stopped himself you could tell he was closing himself off, see in his face that he didn’t feel like what he needed to say mattered.

Carmy’s head turned at the slight sensation he felt ghosting across his hand. You gripped his hand in yours giving it a subtle squeeze before raising it to your lips and placing a kiss so soft and loving to his knuckles that you were sure he could feel the sensation of emotion seeping into his skin and burrowing into his bloodstream.

Watching as he allowed you to comfort him in your way, your free hand reached out to comb the stray pieces of hair out of his eyes. Your thumb ghosted across his temple before tracing a path down his cheek and landing at his jaw, raising his chin so he was forced to look at you.

“Carmy, I wanna hear what you have to say. I always want to hear what you have to say. Do you understand me?” Your voice was quiet yet demanding, you hoped to convey just how serious you were, you would listen to the man in front of you read his grocery list morning, noon, and night if necessary.

You gave him a small encouraging smile as you looked at him. You watched as his eyes strayed to your lips eyeing them for longer than what seemed appropriate considering neither of you was sure what this relationship was, if the context of this conversation was any different you would’ve already captured his lips with your own. Instead, you leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on his forehead before leaning back, your hand still attached to his.

Silence settled over the two of you, you couldn’t force Carmy to talk but you hoped he felt safe enough to open up to you more than he already did. You just wanted to be there for him, to show him that through everything you were still in his corner.

“I read them and I…I just feel this intense guilt you know?” You listened as Carmy began speaking he looked away from you, his eyes locked on the wall opposite the two of you. “A-and I just feel angry, angry at myself. Because why the fuck didn’t I just ask you to stay with me, why didn’t I-I check on you.”

You sat next to Carmy silently, squeezing his hand every so often to let him know you were still there, still listening.

“Most times I just think about how alone you were, how fucking scared you must’ve been. A-and it makes me angry all over again because why the fuck would you do that to yourself?” Carmy’s glistening eyes met yours, questions swimming through his irises. “Shit, no I-I’m not blaming you, promise. But I just look at you and it’s like fuck she deserved so much better, deserves so much better but y-you just suffered alone because of me you know. You’ve always been the best of us Baby and just the idea of you all alone writing those fucking words while I was in some miserable fucking kitchen across the country fucking oblivious to it all I just…I.”

Carmy’s words trailed off, you watched his throat bob up and down like the words he tried to get out lodged themselves there fighting to never be spoken. You tried not to cry, you didn’t want Carmy to think he needed to comfort you in this moment, but it was all for naught as the tears streamed down his face, silent sobs wracked his body as he held his head in his hands. Your interconnected hands pressed desperately to his lips catching every tear.

“Bear, hey look at me,” you spoke softly hoping to lure his attention. There were a few moments of waiting until Carmy’s head slowly lifted, eyes quickly tracking the tear stains on your cheeks, you didn’t give him the chance to wipe them away as you removed your hand from his to grip his face. His stubble was scratchy underneath your touch but you gently dabbed away any leftover tears. “There you are.” It was quiet, a whispered breath that made Carmy’s heart race.

“It's cliche, but they really mean that shit when they say you can’t change the past.” You gave a small grin at the huff of air Carmy loosed through his nose. “It hurts Carmy, god does it hurt. But neither of us will be able to move forward if we keep letting our past mistakes and regrets live in the present with us. There’s a lot of shit I wish you would’ve done differently, things I wish I did differently, and now that we have the chance to do things differently I mean…I don’t wanna waste it. I don’t wanna waste another 10 years without you in my life, Carmy.” You paused, stopping yourself from what you wanted to say but knowing that if this was real if you and Carmy were going through with this the opportunity would present itself.

“I don’t want you to pretend what we experienced wasn’t harrowing and trust me some days it’ll hit harder than others. But if I deserve better then so do you Carm, I…I want us to be happy in whatever way makes you most comfortable. Just please Carmy…don’t push me out of your life again, I’m not sure if there’ll ever be a next time for us after this.”

Carmy’s face was still held delicately between your hands, you offered him your best reassuring smile as silence settled over the two of you. You wished you knew what was going on in Carmy’s head, you were nervous to be too blatantly open with your feelings for him scared it would shut him down.

“How long?” Your brows furrowed at Carmy’s question, a plea for him to explain himself. “If I wanted happiness i-in the same way you did, how much longer would you wait?” It made sense now what he was asking, a small sad smile made its way to your lips as you drank in every bit of emotion that ran across his face the longer you stayed quiet.

You searched his eyes for any sense of hesitation but found none, “I’m a patient woman, Carm, but I won’t wait forever.” Sometimes the truth hurts but it was better to be honest and get everything out on the table now since the two of you were being vulnerable.

Carmy nodded expecting nothing less, if he were being honest with himself he didn’t even think he still deserved your time but he sure as hell was still happy to have it. And this time he wouldn’t allow himself to get in his way, his hands came up gently cupping yours before turning his face from left to right and allowing his lips to sink into the palm of your hands.

He watched as your eyes sparkled before he moved to grip your face, tilting your head down just right to place a kiss on your forehead. A kiss full of love and promises.

A kiss that said you wouldn’t be waiting long.

You stared at yourself in the bathroom mirror, a small smile peeking through at the sight of yourself in the matching pajama set Carmy bought you. A small laugh left your lips as you thought about him shopping for you all alone, how many different sets he must’ve looked through, how undecided he must’ve looked while shopping for you.

He’d done a great job though as far as you could tell, there wasn’t any way he could go wrong. You quickly stepped into the matching fuzzy socks that came with the set before turning to exit the bathroom making sure to grab your work clothes so you could wash them.

Exiting the bathroom you found Carmy sitting up in bed with a journal in his hand, the scene reminded you of that Christmas years ago, although this time you were almost positive you wouldn’t wake up alone. You smiled at Carmy as his eyes found yours before leaving to exit the room and start your laundry.

Looking around the living room a feeling of worry began to sink into you as you couldn’t seem to find your laptop or any of the documents you’d spread on Carmy's coffee table earlier that night. You checked around to make sure you hadn’t overlooked it before making your way back to Carmy.

“Carm, have you seen my laptop?” Your voice trailed off as you watched him lift the device off of his side table, your documents neatly stacked on top of it.

You carefully grabbed your belongings halting as you weren’t sure if Carmy wanted to be bothered by your presence as he did his respective work. You took one last look around the room before deciding it might be best if you just returned to working in the living room, knowing how frustrated you could get at times when writing.

“Sit down Baby.” You stopped mid-step to look at Carmy whose eyes were still glued to the journal in his hand. His eyes flashed up to you as you stayed planted in your spot, his eyebrows raised as if to ask why you hadn’t joined him yet.

It was hard but you hid the giddy smile on your face as best as you could, something about just being in Carmy’s presence in such a domestic context made you feel all warm inside like maybe someday this wouldn’t just be a one-time thing. Maybe this would be your life.

You settled in next to him taking a quick peek at his journal before averting your eyes. You were curious as to what he was writing in there, but that wasn’t exactly your business, it didn't mean you couldn’t ask questions though. “Working on the menu?” You tried to sound nonchalant like you were just making small talk as you waited for your laptop to power on, hands mindlessly shuffling through the loose papers not reading a single word on them.

“Somethin’ like that.” Carmy’s voice was quiet as he quickly finished his last thought on the page before closing said journal and storing it away. “Working on your article?”

You let out a quiet scoff at his non-answer, a quiet laugh following at his curiosities being thrown your way. “Something like that.”

Carmy’s laugh rang through the otherwise quiet room, the timber of it warmed your belly. He quieted down after a moment, you could see a frown forming on his face out of the corner of your eye. “I uh…never apologized for punching your boyfriend b-but I’m not sorry for punching him, I’m sorry that it probably made things at work weird for you.”

Your head turned in Carmy’s direction so fast you were sure it gave you whiplash. This man could not read a room to save his fucking life, you’d basically told him moments ago you were his when he was ready to take that next step and here he was bringing up fucking Hayden. You’d give your kidney to spend a day inside that man's head.

“Let me get this straight Carmen, you think I was dating a man who told me to my face, surrounded by loved ones that I didn’t try hard enough to kill myself?” You could see the realization dawn on him as he let your words sink in, embarrassment clear on his face as he realized his mistake.

Carmy’s arm moved up to scratch at the back of his neck, “Well no, but he said-.”

“And you believed him?” You didn’t need to hear any more of Carmy’s sentence to know that whatever Hayden told him was done with malicious intent. You tried not to be upset with Carmy in that moment seeing as how you hadn’t let him explain his side, but a part of you couldn’t help but feel judged.

“Shit no,” you could hear the panic in his voice as he reached to move your laptop and papers, hands quickly falling to your waist to turn you to face him. “No, no I…fuck. I just didn’t know how to bring it up to you and now I’ve just fucked it.”

The frown on your face deepened as you watched the panic race through him, “You could just ask me Carmy instead of accusing me of things. I don’t mind that you're curious but is that what you think of me that I’ve had relations with every man I know? You gonna accuse me of fucking Richie next?”

“Baby,” the words escaped Carmy in a sigh, he hadn’t meant to offend you but the longer he thought about it he realized how much of a repeat offender he was when it came to backing you into a corner like this. First the prom accusation, then the Christmas accusation, and now this. “I’m sorry… it's just you have so much experience a-and-“

“Carmen!” Your eyes shot wide at his words, if he was hoping to assuage your feelings he sure was doing a shit job at it. “Do you even think before you speak?”

Carmy wanted the world to swallow him whole in that moment, he’d never been a master of words but he was shooting himself in the foot more often than not in this conversation.

“You just indirectly called me a slut Carmen. Which by the way if I was it's nobody’s business but mine.” You removed Carmy’s hands from where they had settled on your waist, peeved by the whole conversation.

Carmy’s hand moved up to run through his hair, he knew deep down why these conversations kept coming up between the two of you and it wasn’t because he thought any less of you because of your sexual history. But every time he thought he could have an honest conversation with you about this it just turned into him self-sabotaging in hopes that you’d do the mental work and figure it out, but that wasn’t your job and he knew that he just tended to ruin any good in his life before it had the chance to become great.

The two of you sat in silence as you allowed Carmy to gather his thoughts; the indignation sat heavy in your chest. You weren’t ashamed of any casual relationships you’d had in the past, and you wouldn’t allow whatever Carmy had going on to force you to feel guilty about living your life. Whatever adventures you’d partaken in prior to this was exactly that, before Carmy.

“I-I don’t think any less of you for whatever past relationships you’ve had. And I don’t care…at least not in the way you think I do it's just,” he paused, gathering whatever courage he had to get the rest of his words out. “There’s just this…this need for me to be the best at everything, a-and I’ve been fucking things up with us for so long that I think you know what if I finally let this happen and there’s just someone better for you.”

A sense of understanding washed over you, and while you didn’t want to invalidate Carmy’s feelings he still needed to know the effect of his words. “Carm, it's okay to feel insecure. But you can’t expect me to know these things if you don’t talk about your feelings with me.” Your eyes darted across his face making sure you hadn’t lost him. “This doesn’t work if neither of us communicate, the next time you’re curious just ask me Carmy. And please if anything like that ever happens again check with me instead of letting things fester.”

Carmy nodded his head rapidly, thankful that his most recent blunder hadn’t caused too much of a rift. He knew he could confide in you about anything but he just felt a bit apprehensive confiding in you about his feelings for you. His hand reached out to play with the ruffled bit of your sock allowing himself time to come to terms with the fact that he’d have to work on opening up even more to you if there was any chance of a romantic relationship.

“You know for a long time I uh, I envied you.” You were surprised by Carmy’s admission watching him closely as he continued fiddling with your sock. “It’s fuckin’ stupid really, but I uh think it started when Mikey let you work at the shop and your relationship with him just drove me fuckin’ crazy sometimes.”

He let out a quiet huff of laughter before finally looking up at you hoping you wouldn’t hold his past indiscretions against him. “I would just watch the two of you sometimes and wonder why the fuck the two of you acted more like siblings than he and I did. But I uh, I think what really pushed it over the edge was the summer you left.”

You sat there listening intently, nervousness building in your chest as Carmy divulged feelings of his you had never been privy to until now.

“I fucked up big time I-I knew that, but at the time it just pissed me off. It was stupid but I just expected you to get over everything the…the kiss and then seeing me with Claire, I was a fucking idiot. And you just started spending even more time with Mikey and it was like the two of us hadn’t been best friends for almost our whole lives.” Carmy shook his head realizing how immature all of this sounded even to his ears. “And then you just fucking left us…left me and I know you had to, but I was an idiot teenager and at that time it just felt like you’d given up on me.”

Your quiet sniffles drew his eyes from their burning gaze trained on your forehead, watching as your lips rapidly trembled.

“I called you every day for a year, Carmy.” The tears began to fall, your voice cracking along with it as you defended yourself for a hurt you hadn’t even realized you caused.

Carmy’s heart ached as he watched you, his hands surging forward to grip your face, “Shh, I know Baby please don’t cry. Please, I just want to be honest with you.” His hands moved to gently wipe your face as you nodded two small kisses landing on the apples of your cheeks before he moved back to make sure you were okay, his hands leaving your face to hold your hands in his.

“It was like I fell into this mindset once I decided to leave for culinary school, I felt like none of you fucking believed in me, but I believed in me and I was just like fuck you watch this…a-and I just lumped you in there. I just threw myself into and I was so caught up in my shit it wasn’t until Sug sent me your article about the James Beard award that I realized I was the one who gave up on you…on us. By then I felt like it was too late, like too much time had passed and it wasn’t fair for me to expect space in your life anymore.

Silence settled over the room, your heart felt like it was ready to beat out of your chest. The idea that Carmy threw away your friendship because of envy hurt you to your core, and as much as you wanted to excuse his actions just because you were teenagers you wouldn’t; not this time. Carmy made it abundantly clear he knew he’d made all the wrong choices and you weren’t going to sit here and lick his wounds or pretend it was all okay because none of it was. For years he acted as though you didn’t exist as if he’d never met you, made you feel like you had done something catastrophically disgusting for him to ghost you in the way he did.

“I thought I did something to make you hate me ” You hiccuped as you spoke trying to rein in the tears, you looked back and forth between Carmy’s eyes scared to find even a sliver of hate floating around in them.

Carmy’s heart broke as he listened to those words leave your mouth, he hadn’t meant for this night to take the turn that it did but he felt the two of you were in a good place and that you deserved to know the truth. He wanted to be honest with you, in the hopes that by clearing the air between the two of you the both of you could continue to move forward, preferably by building a future together.

“Hey, hey look at me please.” Worry raced through him, he was sure this was the moment when everything fell apart for the two of you. The two of you had already come back from a lot, he just wasn’t sure your relationship could come back for the immaturity that caused all the unnecessary hurt in the first place. Carmy wasn’t sure he could watch you any longer, since you’d been back in Chicago it felt like every meeting between the two of you ended with you in tears and he was always to blame.

You wouldn’t look at him, your face buried in your hands. But what more could he expect you’d spent all these years beating yourself up for something that wasn’t even your fault, all these years wondering why you’d lost your best friend with no sign of answers insight. Carmy raised to his knees hesitant but deciding to wrap his arms around you, pulling your head into his chest hoping to offer you some sense of comfort.

He pulled you into him as tight as he could wanting to remember what it felt like to hold you in case this was the last time he’d ever be blessed with your presence.

Carmy didn’t need to open his eyes to know that you were gone, the lack of warmth next to him and the foreboding feeling told him everything he needed to know. He sat up in bed looking at the space you slept in, the covers wrinkled from where you tossed and turned, a part of him was sure the sheets had lost the warmth of your body hours ago.

His eyes flitted around the room hoping to find some piece of you still there but he came up empty. He raised his hand swiping it across his mouth as he recalled the conversation from last night, he thought he was doing the right thing by opening up to you, being honest but as he sat there in his quiet empty apartment he wasn’t sure if his vulnerability had the opposite affect and reopened wounds you were trying to keep closed.

There was nothing he could do now, the truth was out in the open between you, and all he could hope for was that you’d forgive him. Reaching for his phone he scrolled through the few notifications hoping to see your name, but coming up short as he finished looking through them all. He quickly pulled up your contact pressing the call button before raising the phone to his ear and listening as it rang before he was sent to voicemail.

Carmy didn’t want to make a big deal out of you leaving and if you asked him for space he would give it to you, but to do that he needed to know you were safe, and the chances of him finding that out lessened each time you didn’t pick up the phone and the messages he sent stayed on delivered. After the fifth call, he moved from his bedroom to the living room hoping the reason you weren’t answering was because you left your phone behind.

But every trace of you was gone and as much as Carmy tried not to overthink the current situation at hand, he couldn’t help the rising anxiety within him, his hand moving to massage his chest the heaviness in it causing discomfort.

Carmy’s eyes found the Polaroid of the two of you still on the counter where you placed it. He reached out, picking it up and bringing it to his eye line, his finger darted out to trace the smile on your face. Every time he glanced at this photo his eyes would always stray to you, more importantly, the look on your face.

He thought back to the moment this photo was taken, displaying one of the happier moments in his life, and it wasn’t because of the sex, the whispered promises, or the shared kisses. It was the fact that when he looked at this picture it reminded him of the moment he realized he was willing to commit to you, the moment he realized he shouldn’t have ran at hearing your admission through the door. He remembered working his whole shift half his mind focused on the tasks at hand, the other part trying to figure out the words he would say to you upon returning home. But you were gone, and deep down he knew you would be you made it clear your time together had an expiration date, but he still held out hope and then he returned to an empty apartment with this Polaroid and his chain all to welcome him home. He hid it away not being able to stomach what he’d lost, until he found it while unpacking when he moved back to Chicago deciding it was an image he wanted to see every day for the rest of his life.

He placed the picture back in its spot above the stove before moving to grab his phone and quickly calling Sug hoping she might have heard from you. Maybe you called her and vented about the previous night, or maybe you were at her house now. He paced back and forth as he waited for his sister to pick up, he felt guilty that Sug always got dragged into this mess between the two of you but he just needed to know you were safe somewhere.

“Is Baby with you?” The words were out of his mouth as soon as he heard the line connect.

“Good morning Carm, I’m doing great. My feet are a bit swollen but other than that it’s been a nice morning.”

Carmy let out a huff of frustration, “Shit, sorry about your feet Sug,” he listened to her mock laugh through the phone. “Is Baby with you, or have you heard from her?”

He waited with bated breath hoping Sug could assuage his worry, “I haven’t spoken to her since last night, I thought she was with you.”

“Uh yeah, yeah she was,” Carmy wasn’t surprised that Sug knew you’d been at his house, it’s probably how you’d gotten his address. “But I think I really fucked up this time Sug.”

“Carm,” the tiredness was evident in Sug’s voice and he felt even worse continuously adding stress on her plate.

“I know Sug I’m sorry I just…I said some things and she was just gone when I woke up. A-and I’ll give her space if she needs it but I just…I’m worried you know what if she…she,” Carmy couldn’t finish his sentence not wanting to speak the idea into existence.

The line went quiet and he wasn’t sure if Sug understood what he was trying to reference or if she was lost in the web of memories. “I’ll check with Cortez, just call me if you get in touch with her before I do. Please Carmy.”

Camry didn’t know who the fuck Cortez was but he appreciated all the help Sug was offering. He agreed to let her know if he heard from you before ending the call. He tossed his phone onto the counter, his hands running through his hair as he tried not to stress over the situation any more than he already was, bending over he placed his elbows on the cold countertop before placing his head in his hands, he was sure he could feel an ulcer developing at all the stress the two of you caused each other.

His head shot up at the sound of the front door unlocking, the last thing he needed was someone trying to rob him at eight in the fucking morning. Carmy watched from his position in the kitchen, surprised to see your body trying to sneak back into the apartment wearing your clothes from the previous day. He was silent as you quietly closed the door before locking it and turning to face him.

The surprise on your face was evident as the two of you stared at each other waiting for someone to speak first. It was you who broke the silence, raising the bag and cup holder in your hand as you spoke, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you but I bought us breakfast.”

Carmy frowned at how casual you were acting as though he hadn’t spent most of his time awake freaking out over your disappearance, though it's not like you knew that. “You…you can’t just fucking do shit like that Baby.”

The distress was clear in his voice and he watched as you frowned confusion decorating your features “I can’t…buy you breakfast?” If Carmy wasn’t so stressed out by you at that moment he would’ve found it cute the way innocence flashed across your face at the question, he was seconds away from giving in from that look alone.

“What? No, you can’t just…just fucking disappear like that. I woke up and you were just gone and y-you didn’t leave a note or anything…I was worried about you.” Carmy finished his train of thought before it turned into nonsensical rambling, his eyes finding yours across the room as he watched the understanding wash over your face.

You nodded, Carmy followed your movement as you made your way to the kitchen placing down the objects in your hands before lifting yourself onto the counter opposite of him. The two of you stared at each other, Carmy moved to cross his arms across his chest hoping the longer he’d stay silent you’d give in and explain your little vanishing act to him. He wasn’t mad, far from it but he didn’t know how to tell you that this reminded him all too much of you disappearing in New York.

“I didn’t mean to worry you, Carm. I just needed some time to think about everything you told me last night.” His eyes stayed connected to yours as he nodded in understanding, you came back so he felt it was safe to assume the heavens made sure he hadn’t lost you yet. “I’m not sure if I can forgive you Carmy those years for me…they were miserable. I felt all alone in a new place and it wasn’t just me, your actions hurt. My mom was dying Carmen and she asked about you so much…she loved you like you were her own Carm.”

“I don’t think you meant to hurt anyone,” Carmy’s eyes watched your mouth form a disbelieving laugh. “But the fact is you did, and I know you’re sorry Carm, I see it in your face every time you apologize, every time you look at me. And what’s stopping you from doing something like that again? You’re flighty Carm, what if we finally decide to do this…to take that next step and you feel overwhelmed, like it's all too much what then? Do you just ghost me again in hopes that it hurts me enough to finally give up on us or do you stay and do the hard work?”

Your response was valid and Carmen knew that, so he didn’t even take the chance to try and defend himself. He hadn’t thought about the consequences his actions might bring and didn't even give a second thought to how selfish he was being when he cut you off cold turkey. And he loathed to admit it but through all the time apart you still knew him better than anyone else.

“I…I don’t know if I can continue wanting this for the both of us Carmy.” Carmy’s eyes followed your hand that stretched out between the two of you, your fingers wiggling to urge him to go to you, his feet leading him easily.

Carmy found his way to you watching as you entwined your fingers with his, his free hand coming to rest on your hip as he looked up at you seated on his counter from his position between your legs.

“I don’t deserve to spend the rest of my life walking on eggshells around you Carm scared that you’ll drop me at a moment's notice,” Carmy didn’t want to hear the rest of what you had to say but he stayed put, allowing your free hand to ghost across his cheek until you gently cupped it his face relaxing into your palm. “And you don’t deserve being pressured into a relationship you’re not ready for, it’s not fair to either of us.”

The words felt like they burrowed into his heart, growing roots and staying there for all of eternity. He leaned in resting his forehead against your eyes closing so he could pretend this moment wasn’t happening and instead the two of you were just enjoying each other’s presence.

“Baby,” the words were a plea as they left his lips hoping that somehow the two of you could salvage this.

His eyes opened as your thumb gently rubbed across his cheek watching you as you watched him. “It's toxic Carm, we’re toxic.”

Your breath ghosted across his lips and he savored the feeling sending a tender squeeze to your hip before he gently pulled you to the edge of the counter, his nose bumping into yours, lips precariously close to brushing against yours as he began speaking, basically transferring the words from his mouth to yours. “We can work on it.”

His nose nudged against yours waiting for you to stop him before things went too far. His eyes flickered back and forth between your eyes before dropping back to your mouth analyzing the way your teeth sunk into your bottom lip. Carmy’s hand left your hip, his thumb gently tugging at your lip ghosting across the plumpness of it, he cradled your jaw, his nose nuzzling against yours just right to have your bottom lips brush against each other.

The two of you sat in that position for a moment, Carmy wouldn’t make this decision for you not if you didn’t want him to. But as your hand moved from his cheek to the side of his neck he felt his heart begin to race as he would finally get the chance to taste you after so long apart.

Your body jolted against Carmy’s, your lips landing against the corner of his mouth as the phone in your pocket vibrated. Carmy wasn’t sure if the disappointed sigh was yours or his, his hand fell from your jaw moving around your hip on the counter to retrieve the phone from your back pocket. Both of you knew the contact was unnecessary but the quiet gasp you let out was proof enough that neither of you cared.

“Who is it?” Carmy relished in the way your lips brushed against his as you spoke, the two of you still poised in the position for a kiss.

He looked down at your phone doing his best not to show a visceral reaction at the name on the screen. He carefully turned it in your direction watching as your eyes widened before taking the phone from his grip. He let out a sigh of remorse as you pushed off of him, sending an awkward smile his way.

“Sorry, I need to take this.” Carmy nodded, reluctantly stepping from his position between your legs, his hand raised to the back of his neck as he wasn’t sure what to do with himself before deciding to occupy himself with the breakfast you bought.

He watched out of the corner of his eye as you stayed in your position on the counter and answered the phone. He didn’t intend on eavesdropping but considering he was still in close proximity he could hear the voice coming through the other line.

“Cortez, what’s u-”

“Do you like stressin’ people the fuck out ma?” Carmy tuned out the conversation as soon as he heard the gruff voice deciding to instead occupy himself with the breakfast you bought.

Carmy’s head turned in your direction when he realized you’d been trying for some time to gain his attention, he gave you a small half-smile wanting nothing more than to hold you as the two of you figured things out. Instead, he held a bagel out to you as a peace offering, “Breakfast?”

He watched you nod before coming to join him, the two of you standing in silence as you put the spread on your bagels. Breakfast was spent in silence with the quiet dialogue of the TV in the background, the scene of you two on opposite sides of the couch a mirror image of the previous night's dinner, that same tension-filled air hanging between the two of you.

Carmy didn’t argue when you decided to head home after finishing, the two of you silently worked around each other to clean up the trash from breakfast. And he forced himself not to bring up his worries about the future status of your relationship as he led you to the door.

“Drive safe yeah?” Carmy stood in front of his door frame trying not to be as awkward as he felt.

He watched your lips spread into a small smile, he wasn’t the only one seemingly fighting off the awkwardness. “I’ll text you when I get home…thank you for letting me stay, and for the food and the clothes.” Your words ended on a quiet laugh the sound bringing a smile to Carmy’s face.

The two of you stood there for a moment longer awkward silence lingering in the air, you began rocking back and forth on your heels Carmy unsure of what to say. “I guess it’s time I make like a banana and split.”

Carmy tried to hide his smile at your stupid joke, his hand reached out to grip the back of your head pulling you into his chest. “I forgot how fuckin’ lame you could be.” He smiled as he felt you laugh in his arms his lips pressing into your temple as he allowed to push off of him, his hand still cupping the back of your head.

“You missed out on 10 years of lameness Carm, gotta start makin’ up for it at some point.” Carmy let his smile grow at that point. You’d made it clear to him that you wouldn’t forgive what led to the downfall of your relationship.

But as the two of you smiled at each other he took this moment as an olive branch, whether you meant for it to be or not he would take what he could get. He allowed you to pull him back in both of his arms wrapping around you his body relaxing into yours as your warm lips met the skin over his Adam’s apple before moving to place one final kiss on his jaw.

He let you step out of his hold hoping you wouldn’t mention the dusting of pink that he could feel spreading across his cheeks. You stepped back Carmy’s hand that was once on the back of your head traced down the side of your neck, then your shoulder, and arm before finally entwining your hand with his.

“Before I forget do you know when you’ll be free in the next week, I kinda need to interview you for this article I’m writing.” Carmy gave a small smile at your antics.

His free hand moved to scratch the back of his head trying to gather all the courage he could, “I uh still have a couple hours before I head to the restaurant if you wanted…to interview me now.” The smile left his face as he watched your smile fall.

“Oh, I’m sorry Carm I actually have somewhere to be, but thank you for offering.” He nodded trying not to let the disappointment show on his face.

The two of you exchanged goodbyes before Carmy stepped back into his apartment realizing what an idiot he was for not walking you to your car and also thinking you’d just drop everything and spend more time with him under the pretense of conducting an interview. Deciding to make himself useful Carmy headed into his room figuring he might as well head to the restaurant since he had nothing but time.

Carmy was in the middle of buttoning his jeans when the sound of incessant knocking spread through his apartment, part of him was resigned to just let whoever it was knock it wasn’t like he really knew anyone in the building. But the longer the knocking went on he decided to just figure out who the hell was bothering him.

Making it to his living room he swung the door open ready to tell the person off but stopping in his tracks as your figure stood there surprise easily written all over his face.

“Hi, Carmen Berzatto right?” His eyes narrowed confused at the game you were playing, eyes darting to your hand hanging between the two of you before it raised to the notepad he hadn’t realized you were holding and began writing in as you spoke. “Impolite and shorter in person. Sorry, I’m with the Tribune I was wondering if you had time for an interview.”

Carmy rolled his eyes laughing at your antics, “You’re a fuckin’ dork.” He moved out of the way and opened the door wider signaling for you to come in, locking the door he turned and watched as you began taking your jacket and shoes off.

He was sure he had never seen a more perfect image, than the vision of you in his apartment at that moment. Your selflessness was never more apparent to Carmy than in that moment, he could almost physically feel his love for you growing as he realized time and time again you would fight for this relationship.

baby: ayye yo this shit actually kinda toxic

carmy: ohh no maybe if we make out that’ll fix it??

a/n: anyway i know this may feel like we’re going backwards but i promise you the barby ship will be sailing sooner than you know it! please enjoy! 🤍

likes are great, but comments and reblogs really are the lifeblood of fic writing. if you love this fic please consider sharing 🫶🏽

#carmen berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto x you #carmy the bear x reader #carmy berzatto x you #the bear fic #the bear x reader #the bear x you #all i ever knew only you ₊‧°𐐪♡𐑂°‧₊

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akunya · 1 year

Note

eiiiiii the idea of getting private meeting with camboy vox HELLO. you make me suffer for good stuffs every single day 😭💦 can you spoil me a little bittttt. - 🐱

“private session.”

pairings: camboy!vox akuma x male!reader

summary: congrats, lucky winner! because of your generous donations, vox reached out wanting to thank you in person. things, however, take a turn.

tw: DRUGGING, yandere, manipulation, voice fetish. camshows, drinking, implied noncon. age gap, etc.

notes: last fic of 2022! im posting this mere minutes from midnight, so please pardon any mistakes. ill go back and edit this a bit later.

and yes, i can write a part 2 if you truly wish. sorry for cucking you guys, again..

happy new year everyone, thank you for such an amazing 2022. i hope to write much more in the future!

“im at the right place, aren’t i..?” you mumbled to yourself, frigid, clammy hands swiping your phone to make sure the location was right. the restaurant looked a bit trendy and sophisticated, somewhere you wouldn't dare step inside on your own. you and vox both agreed on a restaurant to meet at around eight o'clock. to be truly honest with yourself, you never thought you’d have the guts to do something like this — but when vox, the streamer who you’ve been watching for months daily and donating to everyday reached out to you personally, how could you say no?

nonetheless, sitting across from him at the table really made you wish you had refused.

for one, he was much too ethereal to be in your lowly presence. the camera didn’t do him justice at all — his pale skin was a nice contrast to his black hair, adorned by his signature red highlights. he even wore the red eye makeup that you loved to look at, except now, you could see his mouth and bottom half of his face, uncovered by the black mask he would usually wear. his lips looked so soft, and when his tongue darted out to lick them you were nearly going to faint. we’re those.. fangs? his canines were sharp, and you felt like a pervert for staring so intensely.

you quickly paid your respects to the other fans who would never know that vox, a niche but popular adult streamer, was a truly beautiful man in person.

you didn't even notice how silent it had gotten between the two of you. “no need to be so quiet. i don’t bite, i promise.” vox’s sweet voice snapped you out of your thoughts, apologizing profusely for zoning out so much. “you’re right! im sorry, ive just never done anything like this before..” you chuckled awkwardly, shifting in your chair while vox just smiled. he found your skittishness adorable. you reminded him of a scared little bunny — and he was the big bad wolf, ready to eat you up whole.

"what a shame. and here i was thinking you do this quite often, with how you accepted my request and all." the demon smirked at how your face flushed, becoming a stuttering mess. you should've expected it, but he was just as snarky in person as he was on his live shows. as your little meeting continued, vox realized he enjoyed your presence much more than he thought. the night was filled with friendly but interesting conversation, and for once, the demon didn’t feel forced to keep speaking.

at first, he debated on meeting with you in person. what if the person who donated nearly thousands to him each month turned out to be not as pleasant as he hoped? while the demon wouldn't be surprised, he would be a tad disappointed with all of the free shoutouts he's given to you. still, with you being his top donator for a while now, he felt compelled to show some form of graciousness. a little present, just in time for the holidays.

vox enjoyed streaming more than he thought he would. even though he could use his voice and other demonic powers for much grander, sinister things - for some reason, using them to tease and drain the wallets of his viewers was surprisingly just as satisfying. doing this, he never had to worry about getting a silly job like most humans did, letting the demon truly relax when he wasnt tampering with cameras and himself.

but, you, however - vox liked how shy and nervous you were. it awakened a sick monster inside of him, that wanted to see you cry and beg for mercy at his fingertips. he thought his days of toying with mortals was over, but unfortunately (or fortunately?) for you, you seemed to rekindle that fire in his heart. if he didn't know any better, he would've never expected you to be someone that watches adult streams online, let alone spend money on them.

taking advantage of how anxious you were, vox continued to ask questions about yourself, forcing you to blurt out answers in hopes of not screwing up. "so, what do you like about my streams, y/n?" the male swiveled the wine in his glass nonchalantly, golden eyes looking into yours, awaiting an answer. you gulped, shakily drinking yours as well.

"um, well, you're the first streamer i've ever really watched for.. that sort of stuff. i initially liked how your voice sounded, and wanted to hear more, but i ended up staying for your little stories and when you'd talk about yourself. you just seemed really nice." it was a bit embarrassing when you had said it aloud, but it was the truth. you enjoyed the moments where the demon would just ramble the most. of course, given the content of his streams, most of the things he'd speak about were so dirty it made your ears feel hot - however, there were moments where he'd just talk about his day, and you seemed to enjoy those the most.

it was vox's turn to blush, his grip tightening on the wine glass ever so slightly. how could a mere mortal make him feel so... flustered? hes had his fair share of affairs over many decades, however, never has he felt so vulnerable. the demon was expecting you to talk about his cock or something, but of course your innocent little head wouldnt do that. you should be thankful vox isn't a cannibalistic demon, or he seriously would've eaten your heart out by now.

therefore, the man didnt feel any remorse when you went to the bathroom and he slipped a drug into your drink while you were away.

it wasnt his fault - how was he supposed to let you go after today? someone as sinless and pure as yourself needed to be his. vox wouldnt be content with letting you go back to being another viewer behind the screen, not after your little meeting. the demon knew truly that you probably wouldn't refuse going home with him, but that also didnt guarantee you'd accept his offer. he considered the drug just a bit of a push in the right direction, if you will.

"sorry for taking so long. there was a line outside, so.." your voice trailed off, going back to your seat as the older man simply chuckled. why did you feel the need to explain yourself? it didn't matter how long you took, even if you tried to run now, vox would surely find you. pouring some more wine for himself, he filled his glass a bit more to match yours. you tried to tell him you weren't too keen or interested in alcohol at the beginning of your little date, but the demon wouldn't take no for an answer. "y/n, lets have a toast, shall we?" his held up his glass expectantly towards you, waiting for you to clink the rim with your own.

you hesitated for a moment. the smell of wine never enticed you, but seeing vox wait earnestly made your heart flutter. one glass shouldn't hurt, right?

you simply nodded, the familiar clank of glass against glass being shared between you two before drinking. you drank a majority of the wine, only leaving a small amount left. "good boy. its good, isnt it?" you nearly sputtered the drink back up from the praise, nodding again and drinking the rest in one gulp. it was much different hearing his words of affirmation in person. it felt addicting, unreal.

"thats it. a toast for the new year, my boy. im excited for the memories we shall make together. aren't you?" oh, did vox mean his streams? of course you looked forward to those, how could you not! he was the highlight of your day, making you smile and laugh. "mhm! im excited. im looking forward to your streams, vox." the demon felt a shiver roll down his spine, suppressing a groan. he could get used to you saying his name. he wanted to hear you say it in other ways, too.

"i hope we can get more.. personal, as well, y/n. it was truly delightful being here with you." the man had such a way with words, making you swoon. was he this nice with everyone? no wonder he had so many followers! while you didnt know the true extent to what he had implied, you agreed, telling him that you were happy you came out today.

of course you were. you were his little rabbit, frail and gullible, unknowing of the big bad wolf sitting across from your very table. he truly wondered just how oblivious you could be, but much to his delight, he'd find out soon enough. your eyes started to feel heavy, zoning out while he talked about random things to keep you occupied.

"goodness, y/n, are you alright? you look a bit pale. here, let me take you back to my place. i don't live far at all." his voice was sickeningly sweet, how could you deny his offer? you nodded drowsily, letting the man hold you to steady your balance.

the cold air of the outdoors didnt phase you, and neither did it bother vox. peering at your sleeping face, he smiled, leaning in to kiss the top of your forehead.

"happy new years, y/n. lets have fun together." vox whispered in your ear, turning the corner towards his apartment.

#my askbox..#male reader #mlm blog #male reader blog #nijisanji x reader #nijisanji en x reader #my fics..#🐱 anon #luxiem x reader #vox akuma x m!reader #vox akuma x male reader #yandere vox akuma #vox akuma #vox akuma x reader #luxiem x y/n #luxiem x m!reader #luxiem x male reader

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trappedinafantasy37 · 17 days

Text

Edit: after some analysis, I will admit that a lot of what I say here is wrong, although I do still stand by the distinction I make in the post. Please do not continue to reblog this as it spreads the wrong message. Sorry.

One of the things that I love about Baldur's Gate is how any one particular theme can apply to multiple characters at the same time. Baldur's Gate also goes about these themes in unexpected ways. One of those themes, is forced servitude and slavery. There are five companions who have experienced some form of servitude and that is Karlach, Wyll, Astarion, Halsin, and Minthara. All of these characters have experienced what can be considered slavery, except for one: Wyll.

I often see this misconception that Wyll's pact with Mizora is an allegory to slavery. A lot of people tend to be upset (and rightfully so) that this theme has been attached to the one POC character in the game. Now, I do think it is worth having a conversation as to why themes of servitude keep getting attached to POC characters in fiction. However, in Wyll's case, his situation isn't exactly slavery.

Karlach was sold into slavery to Zariel for 10 years in which she was forced to fight in the Blood War and complete any mission Zariel gave her. She had no choice but to obey as disobedience would be punished. While under servitude, her heart was forcibly removed and replaced with the infernal engine that puts her life in constant peril while not in Avernus. She has also been in non-stop battle for all of those 10 years and her body is just littered with scars.

Minthara was a slave to the Absolute, although it's not exactly clear as to how long. While under the Absolute, she was repeatedly tortured by Orin (and I do think Orin did something much worse to Minthara than just torture). While under the Absolute, she was robbed of her own free will and was forced to commit atrocity after atrocity after atrocity. She may feel no remorse for it, but she did make it quite clear that she would not have done all those things if she was her own person. Because Minthara had no free will, she was actually incapable of disobeying or even thinking about disobedience.

Astarion was a slave to Cazador for 200 years in which he was forced to use his own body to lure victims for Cazador to feed on. Even though he did not want to, his body was forcibly compelled to obey whatever command Cazador gave him. Any disobedience would be rewarded with torture. So, there came a point where Astarion "willingly" captured victims while under constant threat of torture.

Halsin was a sex slave in the Underdark for the matrons of a drow house for three years. For his own survival, he did what he had to do to avoid any pain or punishment. And the drow can be exceptionally cruel to slaves who disobey.

All of these companions have been forcibly compelled to do things against their own will and were enslaved by their respective forces. All of them, except Minthara, had the ability to rebel but chose not to for they feared the painful consequences. But the same is not true for Wyll.

Wyll is not compelled to do anything Mizora says nor is he forced to do anything, he is contractually obligated. The fact that he has a contract, in the form of a warlock pact, makes his situation fundamentally different when compared to the others. The existence of a contract means what Wyll's form of servitude is not slavery, but indentured servitude.

Yes, we can make the argument that Mizora manipulated him and took advantage of his inexperience with the world and the situation he found himself in. But he was not coerced not forced into signing a pact with Mizora, merely manipulated. In the end, he still made the choice to enter into this pact. None of the other companions chose to enter into the servitude.

Now Wyll can rebel against his contract, but he too will be punished, we saw that in the game. And for a long time he may have done some morally questionable things in fear of that punishment. But again, these are all terms details in his pact, one he signed and agreed to. He went into this pact knowing the exact consequences of disobedience. But, there is something else in his contract that is deep and purposefully hidden away from him. Something that none of the other companions had. His time of servitude had a method to guarantee its end.

Karlach only got out of slavery by pure random chance and that the Nautiloid went through Avernus while she was, ironically, being chased by Wyll.

Astarion got out of his slavery by pure random chance when he got swept up by the Nautiloid and met someone who was willing to help him be rid of Cazador.

Halsin got out of his slavery by pure random chance and that an enemy of his captors house raided their compound. Halsin took advantage of the confusion and escaped on his own.

Minthara got out of her slavery by pure random chance that someone came and saved her in Moonrise and returned her free will back to her.

Had it not been for the pure random chance of outside forces, all four of these companions would still be slaves. The same is not true for Wyll. His pact always had a clause that allowed it to be broken, providing a method for him to be free. Now, Mizora has this clause very well hidden and Wyll was most likely not aware of it. But, all contracts can be broken, even tricky ones with devils. It had merely never occurred to Wyll to ask for it to be broken until Tav/Durge came along and proposed it. But the ability for him to choose to be freed from his servitude was always there, he just never thought to ask. I mean, someone who is a slave at least tries to get out of it, but Wyll never did. This is something that is not true for the other four.

Even if you don't ask for the pact to be broken in Act 2, Mizora still shows back up later in Act 3 and gives Wyll the opportunity to break the contract. This is something that would never happen for the other companions, to be given a chance by their enslavers to be freed. But, once again, Mizora is forcing Wyll to make an impossible choice: his father or his freedom. Wyll, being the man he is, will always choose his father and sign away his freedom. Personally, this is why I think the game forces this decision to be the player characters choice and not Wyll because Wyll will always put others above himself. He will always make the same choice. He will always sacrifice himself for others. He will always choose his father. But, no one is forcing him to do that. He is choosing to. He will always choose to remain in servitude to Mizora if it means his father lives. He is willingly discarding his own freedom for the sake of someone else and he will always do that. Someone who is a slave does not choose to remain a slave when given a free opt out by their captor.

One thing this game is really good at is subverting expectations of what we think about themes like this. Wyll, in a way, is a subversion of that expectation. I mean, it's already subversive for him to be a warlock and be good aligned. Despite the fact that he is contractually obligated to do bad things from time to time, he still manages to make himself a hero out of it. He still manages to be a good man and risks his life to help people. But, it isn't just that, he wears his scars without shame when he is punished for disobedience because he knows he has them because he did the right thing. He is in a position of servitude when you find him, but it is not one he is forced to be in nor compelled. He may have been manipulated by a devil who promised him the power of the Hells, but he is a willing participant in that very servitude.

Yes, it is concerning that indentured servitude has been attached to Wyll as he is the only POC companion. But we need to be very careful when throwing words like "slavery" and "racism" around, especially when he is not the only companion that this theme has been attached to. We also need to be very careful when accusing people of racism when it comes to Wyll. Hurling these words like this around with absolutely no thought or consideration for the reality of the situation only dilutes the true impact of a story like Wyll's. One of the points of Wyll's story is that it is okay to be selfish sometimes and to choose yourself. Another point is that signing a contract that also signs away your freedom isn't worth it. Especially since we live in a world of contracts.

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inaconstantstateofchange · 5 months

Note

I come to you on my hands and knees (relevant to the topic right lol) begging for any and all info on Bane, Banites and how it all ties in with Gortash. I love you in advance. <3

Bane and His Cult

Alright, so after twelve and a half hours of research I still don’t fully feel like I have enough, but at a certain point I just need to get this out there, and if there is anything you – or anyone else – would like to see explored in more detail, please feel free to ask!

Note: I love getting asks like this! There is such a vast quantity of Realmslore that having some sort of specific focus for my deep-dives is a huge help, and knowing the topic is of interest to others is a huge motivator. I also greatly enjoy getting to put my training as a historian to work, as there is so much to interpret and archive alike.

As ever, these writeups will align with current 5e lore, and draw from 3.5e for additional supporting information. On rarer occasions – and always noted – I will reference 1e and 2e, but with the caveats that there is much more in those editions that is tonally dissonant with the modern conception of the Forgotten Realms, and thus generally less applicable.

We’ll begin with one of the most recent conclusive descriptions of Bane, from the 5e Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide, an overview of the current world-state of, well, the Sword Coast:

Bane has a simple ethos: the strong have not just the right but the duty to to rule over the weak. A tyrant who is able to seize power must do so, for not only does the tyrant benefit, but so do those under the tyrant’s rule. When a ruler succumbs to decadence, corruption, or decrepitude, a stronger and more suitable ruler will rise. Bane is vilified in many legends. Throughout history, those who favor him have committed dark deeds in his name, but most people don’t worship Bane out of malice. Bane represents ambition and control, and those who have the former but lack the latter pray to him to give them strength. It is said that Bane favors those who exhibit drive and courage, and that he aids those who seek to become conquerors, carving kingdoms from the wilderness, and bringing order to the lawless.¹

This gives us the briefest summation of what draws people to the Cult of Bane: the desire for power and control, often deriving from a sense that they lack exactly those two things. Bane is the quintessential deity of lawful evil, which – if you’ve read any of my previous posts on the sociology of the Nine Hells – bears a striking similarity to Baator itself, the realm of lawful evil, and the place where Enver Gortash spent at least a portion of his formative years.

The majority of the following excerpts derive from 3e, which went into far more detail on the specificities of the Faerûnian gods, including their dogmas, holy days, et cetera. One important point to note, however: any discussions of Bane’s scope of power are no longer accurate, as the time period in reference is about one hundred and twenty years before Baldur’s Gate 3 is set, at a time when Bane had just returned to life – and godhood – as nothing less than a greater god. By comparison, during Baldur’s Gate 3, he is a quasi-deity, having abandoned most of his previous godly power in exchange for the ability to directly meddle with Faerûn – forbidden to the gods by the overgod Ao – and gambling that he would be able to regain his lost power and prestige in so doing.²

The dogma of Bane – that is, the core tenets and philosophies that his followers seek to emulate – is as follows:

Serve no one but Bane. Fear him always and make others fear him even more than you do. The Black Hand always strikes down those that stand against it in the end. Defy Bane and die — or in death find loyalty to him, for he shall compel it. Submit to the word of Bane as uttered by his ranking clergy, since true power can only be gained through service to him. Spread the dark fear of Bane. It is the doom of those who do not follow him to let power slip through their hands. Those who cross the Black Hand meet their dooms earlier and more harshly than those who worship other deities.³

Even were there nothing else to go off of, this would tell us a great deal about the group dynamics of any followers of Bane, whether established church or fragmented cult. Just as in the Hells, hierarchy is everything to proponents of lawful evil. Any cult of Bane would have a strict order to its power structure, and there would be limited – practically nonexistent – tolerance for any questioning or insubordination of that order. To the minds of Banites, such is simply the natural and superior ordering of the world. These interactions are detailed below:

Within the church, the church hierarchy resolves internal disputes through cold and decisive thoughts, not rash and uncontrolled behavior. Bane’s clerics and worshipers try to assume positions of power in every realm so that they can turn the world over to Bane. They work subtly and patiently to divide the forces of their enemies and elevate themselves and the church’s allies over all others, although they do not fear swift and decisive violent action to help achieve their aims.³

The manner of tyranny that Bane holds to is similarly calculated – he is not interested in mere shows of force, but rather in insidious plots that twist and make use of existing rule of law to legitimize tyranny wherever possible. A social tide operated ostensibly within the laws of the land is far more troublesome to fight back against than a simple army.⁴

As far as specific ritual and day-to-day workings of the cult, some can be evidenced here, in broad strokes:

Bane’s clerics pray for spells at midnight. They have no calendar-based holidays, and rituals are held whenever a senior cleric declares it time. Rites of Bane consist of drumming, chanting, doomful singing, and the sacrifice of intelligent beings, who are humiliated, tortured, and made to show fear before their death by flogging, slashing, or crushing.³

In this sense, rituals seem most likely to be used as a display of power and a test of subservience, leaving lower-ranked members of the cult at the whims of their superiors, expected – as noted previously – to attend to their commands with the same alacrity they would use were Bane himself to speak. The rites themselves are designed to reinforce and glorify the primary aspects of their god’s domain: the tyranny of forcing submission and pain from the weak.

Faiths & Pantheons, published a year after the Campaign Setting supplement, provides a similar description of the rituals of the cult of Bane, along with some intriguing and flavorful additions (noted in bold for ease of comparison):

Their religion recognizes no official holidays, though servants give thanks to the Black Hand before and after major battles or before a particularly important act of subterfuge. Senior clerics often declare holy days at a moment's notice, usually claiming to act upon divine inspiration granted to them in dreams. Rites include drumming, chanting, and the sacrifice of intelligent beings, usually upon an altar of black basalt or obsidian.”⁴

As, in the “present day” of Baldur’s Gate 3, Bane has lost much of his foothold on power and his Faith’s old domains, the specifics of architecture of Banite keeps are no longer quite so relevant. However, in times past, when his Faith worked far more openly and held much greater power, the philosophy of Bane was expressed through the architecture of his churches and strongholds:

Tall, sharp-cornered stone structures featuring towers adorned with large spikes and thin windows, most Banite churches suggest the architecture of fortified keeps or small castles. Thin interior passageways lead from an austere foyer to barrackslike common chambers for the lay clergy, each sparsely decorated with tapestries depicting the symbols of Bane or inscribed with embroidered passages from important religious texts.⁴

The social capital of a Faith – a broad term used to encapsulate all followers of a single deity – is often heavily intertwined with the power of its god, a mutualistic relationship that runs in both directions. More social weight behind the Faith means its god’s name and will is conveyed to more people, some or many of whom might apportion some worship or act in alignment with that god and empower them by so doing. More power for the god means more divine actions that can bolster their own image and the reach of their clergy. At its height in the late 1300s, the Faith of Bane was one of the most prominent and powerful, with comparable might to that of a small kingdom.⁵

Something that is important to bear in mind in a setting such as the Forgotten Realms, not only polytheistic, but an environment where the gods being worshiped are demonstrably existent, is that the followers of evil gods are not likely to be obtrusive with the less savory aspects of their dogma. Not only would that, in the majority of cases, do more harm than good to their deity’s long term goals, in the words of Elminster:

A dead foe is just that: dead, and soon to be replaced by another. An influenced foe, on the other hand, is well on the way to becoming an ally, increasing the sway of the deity.⁶

All of this aligns with what we see of the Cult of Bane and its operation in Baldur’s Gate 3. While it does not have the same sway and might behind it as it did a hundred years before, through manipulation of law and carefully applied pressure – of whatever form most likely to yield the desired results, be it threats, bribery, blackmail, or use of hostages – Gortash has enacted a steel web of delicate, ensnaring tyranny across the entire city.

We can even find present-day expressions of the interactions of the cult members, and find that they hold true to what their forebears experienced, further proof of the consistency of lawful evil. A personal note found on the body of a dead Banite guard at the Steel Watch Foundry calls the Black Gauntlet in charge of the Foundry Lab, Hahns Rives, a “disgrace to the Tyrant Lord”, and notes the writer’s intent to “compile a list of Rives’ shortcomings for the Overseers.”⁷ These shortcomings include:

1. Rives failed to reprimand Polandulus for making jokes about Lord Gortash! 2. Rives missed the morning mass to Bane - twice! 3. Rives didn't punish Gondian Ofran when she missed her gyronetics quota merely because she'd lost a finger that day in the punch press.⁷

We can see evidenced here the constant scheming for position and recognition consistent with this manner of lawful evil hierarchy. Both devils and Banites orient their day-to-day lives around how to prove themselves to their superiors, while also undercutting them at any chance they have to prove their own superiority, with hopes of being raised above them.

This is only reinforced further by another text found within the Steel Watch Foundry, Bane’s Book of Admonitions. Its text is not written out for us, but described as such:

A book of adages and precepts for Banites, providing the basic tenets of worship of the Lord of Tyranny, with suggested prayers for common situations. The heart of the book is Bane's Twelve Admonitions, a dozen rules for proper Banite conduct, with punishments specified for failure to comply. The book opens easily to a page with two of Bane's most popular admonitions, number six, the Reprimand for Leniency, and number seven, the Rebuke for False Compassion.⁸

The most likely scenario is that this book was used by the “Overseers” referenced by the anonymous Banite writing of Rives above. The exact position of the Overseers is not made clear, but from context and knowledge of Banite hierarchy, we can infer that they inhabit a place in the hierarchy above both the guard and Rives himself, and that their role is to ensure all those below them uphold the tenets of Bane at all times, never losing sight of his will.

In that context, it makes sense that they would both have a book of specific punishments for specific infractions – rule of law, after all – and that, given the attempted report on Rives, punishments (“admonitions”) for the crimes of leniency and false compassion – and all compassion is false when your conception of the world does not allow for its existence – would be those most referenced. It would be incredibly important to the unity of the cult, as well as to Gortash’s plans, to harshly punish any observed leniency or break from Bane’s law among members of the cult.

Not only would failure to control the situation at the Foundry potentially spell failure for the schemes of Bane’s Chosen, any unpunished step out of line by members of the cult would be seen as tempting others to do the same, a trickle of dissent quickly becoming a flood. Better to ensure that all adherents live in merited fear of the consequence of failure.

After all, it is said of Bane himself: “He has no tolerance of failure and seldom thinks twice about submitting even a loyal servant to rigorous tortures to ensure complete obedience to his demanding, regimented doctrine.”⁴

And, in an appropriately lawful hierarchy, the same rule must apply from the bottom, to the top.

¹ Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide. 2014. p. 26.

² Descent into Avernus. 2019. p. 231

³ Forgotten Realms Campaign Setting 3E. 2001. pp. 237-8

⁴ Faiths & Pantheons. 2002. pp. 15-16.

⁵ Forgotten Realms Campaign Setting 3E. 2001. p. 93

⁶ Ed Greenwood Presents: Elminster’s Guide to the Forgotten Realms. 2012. pp. 135-6.

⁷ Rives’ Failures as a Banite. Baldur’s Gate 3. In-Game Text.

⁸ Bane’s Book of Admonitions. Baldur’s Gate 3. In-Game Text.

#voidling speaks #asked and answered #realmslore #meta #my meta #bg3 meta #bg3 #bg3 gortash #bg3 bane #enver gortash #bane #baldur's gate 3 #forgotten realms #cult of bane #d&d 5e #d&d 3.5

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veliseraptor · 3 months

Note

Top five spiciest untamed opinions!

man, I've been in my own little corner of fandom for long enough that I feel like I struggle a little to parse what is spicy of my opinions and what isn't, but here's a go at it

The Untamed is a show with complex, morally grey characters that's telling a slightly different but not inherently inferior story. Maybe I'm just a bit defensive about this, and I have with time come to appreciate a lot of things about the novel over the way they play out in the show, but The Untamed was the first version of the story that I fell in love with and I think at least some of the criticisms of it overstate the degree to which it morally simplifies the story. I think, whether because of requirements of censorship or other reasons, that the moral messiness of the story is subtler, I don't think it's absent, and while Jin Guangyao in particular falls victim to a pretty intense villain edit the narrative still has plenty of sympathy for him (even if the audience, all too often, does not). I think it's telling a slightly different story (as others have discussed), but I think it's a strong adaptation that still works with the underlying themes of the text.

However, that being said, The lessening of Wei Wuxian's culpability, as in the introduction of the second flautist, weakens his character. I feel like the character of Wei Wuxian as we see him in The Untamed still has the recognizable flaws of the character from the novel - I think the degree to which they're sometimes claimed to be toned down is overstated, which I think I've written some about before. He's still at least a little arrogant, causes problems, has a definite temper, and doesn't always respect other peoples' choices, among other things. But what The Untamed does do is remove some of his culpability, or at least temper it - both for Jin Zixuan's death and the massacre at Nightless City, which are two moments that contribute to a strong tragic arc in the first life, which makes for a more powerful (imo) arc in the second life. Removing, or at least lessening, Wei Wuxian's culpability for Jin Zixuan's death and Jiang Yanli's death makes him more a victim of circumstance than of his own human flaws, and at least for me, a character who is doomed by their own flaws is a far more compelling one than one who just happens to fall victim to outside forces. It makes him, I would argue, more passive and less of an active force, and I think the culpability for those two deaths - and the loss of control that causes it - makes for a more powerful narrative than that of a man who is victimized by someone else's actions.

Jin Guangyao was a good Chief Cultivator. I see people talk about him as though he was corrupt and evil and just plotting all the time, but the Bad Things™ he does mostly happen before his tenure as Chief Cultivator and, even taking those into account, have a limited impact on the world at large (with the exception of Nie Mingjue's death, but even that I would argue has more personal repercussions than broader political ones). As far as his responsibility for the cultivation world at large, we have no evidence prior to his downfall that he is negatively perceived by people, except for the fact of his birth/origins.

this is more MDZS-related than Untamed specific, but: MXTX deserves praise for writing "problematic" and messy queer sex, but it's just not hot. I don't have a whole lot to add on this one, but one of my least favorite parts of some corners of The Untamed fandom are people who are thoroughgoing MXTX antis who are quick to cry about the ~problematic~ aspects of Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian's sex life (which, honestly, I think are overstated a lot of the time, as is the weirdness of the sex scenes); however, in my opinion, the sex scenes as they stand just aren't very sexy, and I don't think that's intentional (as it arguably is in SVSSS). The sex scenes may be a shortcoming in the text, perhaps, but not the one certain people think it is.

this is again a stronger argument in the novel but I think it's present in the show as well: Jin Guangyao and Wei Wuxian are "there but for the grace of god" foils, but not in the sense of Jin Guangyao being "Wei Wuxian if he made bad moral choices" but in the sense of "who Wei Wuxian could've been if his circumstances were different." I've definitely written about this before and how much it drives me nuts the way people treat narrative foils in this story in general as Goofus and Gallant style duos, but this is a specific one. I think Jin Guangyao is an example of a story that runs alongside Wei Wuxian's, but ends in a different place, and I think the story isn't saying that he ends in that place because of something inherently worse about Jin Guangyao, but because of the way his circumstances happen to diverge from Wei Wuxian's in specific key ways. In some ways his ending is even a near beat-for-beat rewrite of Wei Wuxian's death, and Wei Wuxian receives the grace of a second life not because of any inherent merit, but actually because of his bad reputation. I think this goes for Xue Yang, too, actually.

I absolutely know I'm forgetting things and there are probably things back in my bitchy opinions tag that I could dig out, but here's at least a few that came to mind.

#conversating #maester of spreadsheets #lise has opinions #none of these feel so bitchy they need to go in the bitchy opinions tag but just in case i think i'll #lise's aggressively bitchy opinions about irrelevant and unimportant matters #lise memes #top five meme #the sad queer cultivators show

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vhstown · 10 months

Text

tender

— pavitr prabhakar x gn!reader

summary: It's the middle of summer, and Spider-Man caused a city-wide power outage; your friend Pavitr tries to make it up to you.

word count: 0.7k

warnings: fluff, mentions of food/drink

a/n: there's not enough pavitr in this world 💔 another 3am notes app to one-shot pipeline, somewhat edited

"Ugh..."

It was probably the hundredth time you groaned that morning. Your uniform was sticking to you, your notebook was less than efficient as a fan and you still had to come into class for the rest of the day. The Mumbattan sun was practically bleeding through the walls, and though you and Pavitr had found a shaded spot outside, it did little to stop the constant wave of sweat that trickled down your back.

"Probably the worst day for the power to go out, right?" Pavitr gave you a crooked smile. His shoulders flexing uncomfortably as he leaned forward, tilting his head to meet your squinting eyes.

"Yeah. Spider-Man really did us a service, huh?" From what you knew, Mumbattan's one and only "hero" with stupidly good hair had managed to disconnect the entire city's power last night. Alchemax was "working hard" to restore it (probably in their own building), but you didn't know how much longer you could survive without the academy's stellar, now out-of-service air conditioning.

"He's not so bad. He's probably suffering from the heat too; think about the suit!" Thinking about the suit only made you sweat more.

You met Pavitr's defense with a frown, shaking your head. "It's his problem. Well, it's everyone's problem now."

Pavitr returned your frown with his own, his eyes narrowed and trailing off in silence. You two talked about Spider-Man often; his hair was pretty compelling, but today he was more of a menace than anything, even if he was boiling under that suit too. Your notebook was practically clinging to your clammy hands, but Pavitr seemed fine for the most part, just one button of his shirt undone. Maybe the heat was the reason why you were looking at his bare collar so much.

Your head fell back as another flash of sweat went through you, and you were ready to let out another groan before Pavitr spoke up.

"You know what? I'll be right back. One sec... a minute — two minutes!" He gave you a wave and half a smile before getting up, the way his hand pushed off of the hot concrete making you cringe. The sun was hurting your eyes, so you gave up on trying to look out for him, sinking into the heat as you waited.

Around the corner, other students of Mubattan Visions were suffering a similar sizzling reality to you, the same complaints and frustrations dampened by the heat. It was an oven inside and a slow-cooker outside; you didn't know which you preferred — probably neither now your best friend was gone.

Thwip! Thwip! You barely registered the sound before you felt a hand on your shoulder, looking behind you only to have something cold put in your hands — a drink.

"Two minutes," he grinned, sitting next to you as he cracked open the lid of his own bottle. 100% Natural... "Tender" Coconut Water?

Your brows furrowed, trying not to crack a smile while taking a sip of the drink. It was cool, easing the breathless feeling you had from the heat as it went down your throat. "How'd you even get this?"

"I uh, had it in my backpack." His casual and slightly unsure look did nothing to convince you.

"Is your backpack a fridge or something?"

"Maybe. Guess I should be an engineer, huh?" It was finally cool enough to laugh, and you hesitated to drink again as the thought of Pavitr's refrigerator backpack cracked you up a bit.

"Yeah. Maybe. Nadeesh's got competition."

"The kid had it coming," he shrugged, rolling his eyes and smiling.

The two of you finally had something to talk about other than the heat. You chatted through the school morning, and it was a little easier to endure the heat even if the power was still out. You had no idea how Pavitr had managed to get cold drinks when almost all of Mumbattan was simmering alive, but you were thankful enough.

Pavitr set the empty bottle down, letting out a contented sigh as he crossed his arms, leaning his shoulder against yours. It was a little uncomfortable given the drying sweat pressing into your skin, but you decided it wasn't worth moving away because of a bit of extra warmth.

In fact, though the power would be out for a couple more hours, and Alchemax might've had a broken vending machine, this sort of warmth was something you could get used to; it was almost tender.

Maybe you'd have to get that coconut water more often.

🕸️🔭🪀

thank u for reading ! my boy pavitr is so real 🫶 also nadeesh = ned (silly headcanon for his universe...)

reblogs appreciated <3 catch my atsv masterlist here!

#pavitr x you #pavitr prabhakar #pavitr prabhakar x you #pavitr prabhakar x reader #pavitr x reader #atsv pavitr #atsv x you #atsv x reader #across the spiderverse #pavitr my beloved #vhstown

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simplyclary · 16 days

Text

Beauty and Brains All In One

(Photo edit by me)

"The great thing about Taylor is what you see is what you get" - Nicholas Galitzine

There’s something so powerful about intelligence. It’s not just about knowing facts or being able to recite statistics on command; it’s about the way a person thinks, processes the world around them, and communicates their understanding. For me, one actor embodies this essence of intelligence in the most profound way. Taylor Zakhar Perez is not just a talented performer with a stunning presence; he is a thinker in a world that often celebrates superficiality.

From the moment I first saw him on screen, it was clear that there was something unique about Taylor. His performances were always nuanced and deeply felt, but what truly captivated me was what he said off-screen. Every interview, every public appearance, every candid moment revealed a mind that was always engaged, always questioning, and always seeking to understand more.

I find myself getting genuinely upset when people try to degrade his intelligence. It’s as if they can’t accept that someone so attractive could also be so profoundly smart. They reduce him to just another pretty face, ignoring the depth and thoughtfulness that define him. But to me, his intelligence is one of the most attractive things about him. It’s not just about the words he uses, but the ideas he shares and the way he articulates them with such clarity and insight.

Taylor is never half-assed about anything. Whether he’s discussing a role, addressing social issues, or sharing his thoughts on life, he speaks with conviction and kindness. He’s not afraid to speak his mind, but he does so in a way that is respectful and considerate. His words are never meant to hurt or belittle; instead, they aim to enlighten and inspire. This approach only amplifies his attractiveness, showing that his beauty is not just skin-deep.

What sets Taylor apart is his ability to convey complex thoughts in an accessible manner. He has a way of making you feel like you’re part of the conversation, inviting you to explore ideas alongside him. His intelligence isn’t about showing off or proving others wrong; it’s about genuine curiosity and a desire to connect on a deeper level. This quality makes him not only a remarkable actor but also an inspiring individual.

When I listen to him speak, I feel enriched. His perspectives challenge me to view the world through a more thoughtful lens. It’s this intellectual connection that deepens my admiration for him. He’s more than just an actor I enjoy watching; he’s someone I respect immensely for his mind and his heart.

In a world that often prioritizes appearance over substance, Taylor stands as a testament to the power of intelligence. He shows us that beauty and brains are not mutually exclusive but can coexist in a way that enhances both. His intelligence is a reminder that true attractiveness lies in the ability to think deeply, speak kindly, and inspire others.

To those who try to belittle his intelligence, I say this: Taylor Zakhar Perez is proof that being smart is not just an accessory to beauty—it’s an integral part of it. His mind is a treasure trove of insight and wisdom, and that is one of the main reasons I love him. He is, without a doubt, more than just a pretty face, and his intelligence only makes him more compelling and admirable.

#taylor zakhar perez #tzp #red white and royal blue #rwrb

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sideprince · 5 months

Text

It's good to know your strengths and weaknesses and drawing is definitely the latter for me, but I wanted to make some kind of "what might Eileen Prince have looked like" image so I used the portrait maker on azaleasdolls and came up with what her school photo might have looked like. I did a little bit of editing in procreate, mostly to her nose and eyebrows (it took ages and didn't come out quite how I wanted but just count yourself lucky I didn't try to draw this from scratch).

What I like about this is that, while in the text both Eileen and Severus are described as sallow and sour looking with heavy brows in a way that has negative connotations, these features are clearly not mutually exclusive with looking interesting or attractive. This image feels reasonably close to what's described in the books as far as I'm concerned, but if this was a real person I would be curious about them, not put off.

I feel like there's a problem in the Snapedom of confusing attractiveness with conventional beauty, so there's a lot of art that doesn't want to engage with the scrungly parts of Severus. His hair is stringy. His nose is hooked and large. He's thin. These may not be conventionally attractive features, but many people do find them attractive.

There are a lot of meta posts out there that talk about the racist elements of the gothic, romantic male character that Rowling put into Severus Snape. His skin may be sallow and pale, but his hooked nose is a semitic feature that signals otherness and the connotation is that this is villain-coded. Heavy brows, dark eyes, these are all semitic features that are put onto characters not meant to be liked in both gothic literature and the Harry Potter books. (And when I say "semitic"I mean "middle-eastern" ie. features often found on people of middle-eastern descent.) The sallow skin and thin figure imply poverty - even the Malfoys are described as pale, not sallow. Pale implies light skinned, while sallow implies sickly, unhealthy. It takes the romanticization out of the venerated pale skin of gothic literature's heroes and heroines.

Despite the amount of discussion on this that I've seen come and go on my dash, in posts with a lot of notes, I see so much Snape art that makes him look like a drawing on the cover of a romance novel. He's buff, he has a six pack, his nose is straight and sharp, his features are conventionally attractive in ways that go against the text. I'm not here to judge anyone who likes this (except the people relentlessly demanding images like this from AI bots and posting them ad nauseum, but that's because I'm judging them for using and posting AI generated images because it's theft). Fandom is about escapism, and if vanilla Snape is your kink, go forth and live it up. But maybe it's OK to ask yourself, why do I prefer this character when he looks like the idealized male instead of how he's written, if I love him so much? Maybe it's OK to use the safety of fandom to examine what might have been internalized that's biased and uncomfortable with The Other.

In a fandom centered around a character who was brave, heroic, brilliant, and above all, driven by love and loyalty to it, yet was presumed to be evil despite all his continuous efforts to save the hero - in other words, in a fandom centered around a character we understand had exceptional qualities yet was often villainized based on his appearance despite his actions, what is it that compels some fans to impose more conventional features onto Snape to consider him attractive? What does that say to all the other fans who don't have a Eurocentric, unattainably muscular and chiseled aesthetic, who have rallied around Snape because they find him loveable and see themselves in the character?

Again, I'm not judging. But I do think that if your preferred Snape is what I like to refer to as Fabio-Snape, it might be an interesting exercise to explore what you're drawn to and why.

#Eileen Prince

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crowhyun · 2 years

Text

HARD CATCH

vampire!yeonjun x human!reader

— After getting kicked out of his clan due to his excessive bloodlust, 400 year old Choi Yeonjun moves to a small city in hopes for a new start. Though, disguising himself has a human was an all new challenge for him, especially when you come into the picture. Innocent, lively, and joyful, you were. But his interest didn’t come from that. It came from how sweet your blood smelled and just how much he wanted to taste it, but unknowingly, you made it a challenging task for him to get you alone.

genre: smut, fluff, unrequited enemies to unrequited friends to unrequited lovers to actual lovers lmao

warnings: mentions of blood and blood sucking, cursing, Yeonjun does NOT like you at first, oral (fem receiving), mentions of vampire role play, rough sex, crying during sex, overstimulation, rimming, slight dirty talk, passing out, suggestions of mlm and polyamory near the end

other main character(s): Skz Felix

words: 9.1k (not edited)

Yeonjun felt like this was the start of his fourth life. After four hundred years of living on this earth, he was starting again in a whole new place. It wasn't his choice, though. More of...the consequences of his actions.

It was tiring to play the human game again.

He had moved into his new apartment, the process consisting of compelling the person who lived here before him. He didn't do much, honestly, all he did was tell them to go far, far away and never come back.

The rent was cheap and the apartment already came with a full set of furniture, so he was set.

The only problem he had, was the fact that feeding wasn't going to be easy for him. Since he had to pretend to be human for as long as he could, he had to be more meticulous with it. It was the fastest way to lead to starvation, yet it was one of the basic rules all vampires had to follow. Otherwise, you forever get abandoned by your clan.

With curiosity, Yeonjun found himself in the lobby of his apartment, going through the previous owner's mail. He frowned, seeing mail pertaining to credit cards and bank loans. Did he fuck up and steal a broke man's apartment? What if he hadn't paid rent? What's Yeonjun supposed to do about that, now?

Slightly startled, he heard the rustling of paper from the mailbox beside his.

"Oh, hi!" You greeted him. He turned to you with eyebrows furrowed. Were you talking to him? "I didn't notice that someone new moved in! I'm your neighbor, (Y/N)."

You held out a hand to him with a big smile. You always made sure to greet your neighbors everyday, especially new ones. He seemed a bit hesitant before he shook your hand. Your smile slightly faltered, noticing how cold he was. Maybe he had just come from outside.

"What's your name?" You asked him.

If it was any old random person, he'd simply ignore them, not wanting to think they'd be able to have some sort of connection with him. But...he was feeling quite hungry, and you smelled...heavenly.

"I'm Yeonjun." He switched his confused glance to a friendly one, maybe with a hint of subtle deviousness. It was so subtle that you hadn't noticed at all.

"Nice to meet you, Yeonjun!" You said, chirpy as ever. "Well, uh, see you around! If you ever need anything, just come on over to room 17B."

"I'll keep that in mind." He said before you scurried on off to the elevator. He'll definitely keep that in mind. Staying next door to his future blood bank would be extremely convenient.

——————————————

Exploring the floors of the nice apartment complex, Yeonjun stumbled upon a cozy little cafe in the lobby. He found the decor nice and all, but it wasn't like he'd be here often. He hated the smell and taste of coffee, a trait developed after centuries of being a vampire. He could still eat and drink, but nowadays, it was only for nostalgic reasons.

"Oh-" A man started to walk past him into the cafe before he stopped, looking at Yeonjun. "You must be the new tenant my friend was talking about!"

Yeonjun looked him up and down, seeing as he was dressed in a black padded coat, most likely just coming in from the cold weather outside.

"I'm Felix," He said, holding his hand out to you with a big smile. Seeing how similar he was to you, you must've been the friend he was referring too.

"Yeonjun." Yeonjun said, shaking his hand.

"You wanna get a cup of coffee?" Felix asked, pointing towards the cafe. "During this hour, they're 10% off," Then he leaned in to whisper to him. "Only a few of us know that." He giggled.

"I'll pass." Yeonjun said. "I have...something to do."

"Oh...okay!" Felix smiled. "Catch you next time, then." He then bowed and went inside, greeting the barista. Was everyone here so chirpy and talkative? Frowning to himself, Yeonjun went for the stairs instead of the elevator, not wanting to come across anyone else. If everyone was like this, then maybe another apartment complex would do him good...

———————————————

Yeonjun couldn't help but be nosy as he went through the previous owner's things. A few days ago, when he had "moved in", he noticed that the previous owner had a pet bunny. It was white with black spots, and it had a little 'hobby' of staring at Yeonjun whenever he was in the apartment.

Cleaning up after the bunny was annoying as hell, especially with the droppings the bunny seemed to plant everywhere it walked. He didn't think he could be more out of luck with the way things have turned out so far. The fridge was nearly jam packed with food, half of it being rotten, the sink was full of dishes, and wet laundry has been sitting in the washer machine for god knows how long. Maybe Yeonjun did him a favor by ridding him of his home.

Although the circumstances were bad, he knew that it was too late to start a new life somewhere else. And the knock on his door just confirmed that further.

Opening the front door, he was greeted by not only you, but Felix as well. The both of you had big, bright smiles on your faces, and you held a basket of brownies in your hands.

"Hi, Yeonjun!" You said. "Felix told me he met you this morning! We thought it would be kind to give you a housewarming gift!"

"Fudge brownies!" Felix said excitedly. "I made them!"

"Oh..ah, thanks-"

"Can we come in?" You asked, eyes bright and hopeful.

"Uh, sure." Yeonjun said, fighting the urge to groan. He was relieved that he had managed to clean the apartment the best he could, though.

You and Felix shuffled inside and Yeonjun closed the door behind you, nostrils flaring as you walked past him. He had forgotten about just how wonderful you smelled that quickly. He felt that you being here was now less of a burden. Felix, on the other hand, he could do without.

"Wow, it smells really good in here!" You exclaimed.

"You're right, it's like a mixture of cedar wood and lemons." Felix nodded, then gasped. "You have a pet bunny?"

Yeonjun frowned. "No- yes." He then remembered the bunny that was sitting in its cage in the corner of the living room. Felix ran towards it with a big smile.

"It's so cute!" He said. "What's its name?"

"Uh...Annie." Yeonjun came up with the first name that popped up in his head. "Yeah, Annie."

"What a cute name for such a cute bunny." Felix said in a high pitched voice, greatly differing from how low it was usually.

"Yeonjun, try a brownie." You said to him with a smile. "Felix seriously makes the best brownies, you'd love them."

Hesitantly, Yeonjun reached out for a brownie from the basket. He couldnt lie, the brownies looked amazing, but he definitely wasn't in the mood for eating human food. He took a small bite out of it, the taste of the chocolate kind of dull, as all human old was for him. He nodded with a smile.

"It's good." Yeonjun said.

"Really?" Felix smiled, coming back to the two of you in the kitchen. "That's awesome, so far, no one has turned down my brownies! Y'know, I like you, so maybe you'd get a brownie from my next...special batch."

"Felix!" You nudged him in the ribs.

"Ow!"

"Sorry, he's a bit...unique." You chuckled. "But I thank you for inviting us into your home! I hope we can be close neighbors, and—actually, let me give you my number."

"Mine too!" Felix said, all but snatching Yeonjun's phone that was rested on the counter top. "What's the password?"

Containing his annoyance, Yeonjun, took his phone from him and put in his password.

"Felix, you can't just take people's phones like that." You giggled nervously, then inputted your number into Yeonjun's phone.

"Sorry, Yeonjun." Felix said apologetically. "I get comfortable quickly. But we're friends now, right?" He gave him a cute wink.

"Yeah." Yeonjun said with no meaning behind it and let Felix put his number in his phone.

"Well, it was nice seeing you again." You smiled. "You can call or text us anytime!"

"Nice seeing you as well." Yeonjun smiled, saying his goodbyes as he watched you and Felix exit the apartment. After shutting the door, Yeonjun felt more at ease. The delicious scent of your blood still lingered in his nostrils, and he only wanted more. Your number would surely be useful for him in the future. Despite wanting to take a break from feeding off of humans, he found himself curating a plan in which he could get you alone and taste the delicious blood that was rushing through your veins.

——————————————————

It's been about two weeks since he had moved in, and Yeonjun figured that that was too long to be without your scent. If he couldn't feed from you now, then your scent would be enough to stave him off for a while. He was good at controlling his bloodlust due to being an experienced vampire, so he would be fine for now.

He called you for the first time since you gave him your number, and the phone rang twice before you answered.

"Hello?" You answer.

"Hey...this is Yeonjun."

"Oh, Yeonjun!" He could practically hear your smile over the phone. "I'm glad you called! Do you want to go to the movies with me?"

He didn't even have to do anything. "Sure. Now?"

"Yep!" You said. "I was getting ready just now, and it was perfect timing that you called. I didn't really want to go alone, anyways. Meet me at the lobby in 20?"

"Sure, I'll be ready by then." He smiled before hanging up. This was going to be a lot easier than he thought it would be.

20 minutes later, he got out of the elevator and entered the lobby, looking around for you. He froze when he noticed you by the entrance, but right beside you was Felix, dawned in his long padded jacket. Yeonjun rolled his eyes, annoyed by the fact that you two weren't going alone.

He approached the two of you and Felix noticed him first. "You're here!"

"Yay!" You smiled when you saw him. "Felix called right after you and I invited him along as well, I hope you don't mind."

"No, I don't mind at all." Yeonjun said with a tight smile, flexing his jaw in annoyance. "The more the merrier."

"Exactly." Felix said. "What movie are a watching? A scary one? Please don't be horror..."

You looked at Yeonjun deviously, as if hiding a secret before turning back to Felix. "Don't worry, Lix, it's just a romcom."

—————————

"This...this isn't a romcom, is it?" Felix whispered between the two of you as the movie started.

"Just saying...it's too late to leave, now." You whispered back. "We already paid for the tickets."

"You tricked me." Felix frowned, sinking further into his seat.

Yeonjun put his tongue in side of his cheek, slightly frustrated at the seating arrangements. He had wanted to sit next to you, but Felix was all too eager to sit in the middle and hold the bucket of popcorn. Now that he couldn't even try to be close to you, he didn't want to watch this stupid movie at all. He had watched plenty of movies in his life time, and there was no doubt that this one would be like those same old cliche horror movies.

All throughout the movie, Felix jumped at the smallest little scares, and you giggled at every one of them. Yeonjun found your constant giggling to be annoying. Like, was everything really that funny to you?

He had to admit, there were one or two ACTUALLY scary scenes, but it was nothing to jump at. Felix was basically being a grasshopper in the seat next to him.

Once the voice was finally over, Felix all but ran to the exit of the theater, and you followed after him, laughing the whole way there. Yeonjun didn't bother to run or quicken his footsteps. For all he cares, they could leave without him and it wouldn't matter. He could try again to get you alone, but for now, he'd probably have to tag along with you and Felix for a while.

————————————

"Oh? Yeonjun, did you just come in?" You caught up with Yeonjun as he waited for the elevator.

"Yeah." Yeonjun said.

"Awesome, you should come over!" You said with a cheery voice. "I've had a long day at work, and I was thinking of ordering takeout and watching a movie?"

Yeonjun smiled, something that you didn't see very often. "Sure."

"Yay!" You wiggled your little fists in the air. Cute. Getting into the elevator, you nearly talked his ear off. You talked about the movie you wanted to watch, the food you wanted to eat, how your day was at work, and more.

To be honest, Yeonjun didn't really like you that much. You were kind of overwhelming and the fact that you were so cheery all the time annoyed him. But, with his ulterior motive, he could look past that.

Upon entering your apartment, he noticed how cute your decorations were. You seemed to have an affinity for cats, especially since you had your own. There were pictures of your cat hung on your walls, a little cat trinkets scattered around. The deco and furniture fit you, to say the least, but it also hurt his eyes. Were you allergic to normal colors or something? What was with all the pastel?

"Do you want to order something, Jun?" You asked him while you were on the phone.

"No, I'm not hungry."

"Okay!" You smiled then went back to ordering take-out. He didn't know why you had called him 'Jun', and he didn't really like it, but he wasn't going to sever this 'friendship' before he even got a chance at tasting your blood.

Once you finished ordering, you plopped yourself on your couch next to him, sitting criss cross while you looked for the movie you wanted to watch.

"What type of movies do you like to watch, Jun?" You asked him. Nearly scowling at the nickname, he answered your question anyways.

"Just...any movies." He said, and you chuckled.

"You're quite shy, aren't you?" You asked.

"Not really." Yeonjun frowned.

"It's okay to be shy, Felix and I will help you come out of your bubble." You smiled brightly. "That's our superpower, I think.

"I'm not shy-" His eyes flashed red for just a second, but you didn't notice, as someone knocked on the door.

"Hm? The food can't be here that quickly." You went to answer the door, and a second later, Yeonjun heard him pitched squeals.

"What the f...?" Yeonjun turned around, seeing Felix at the door. He groaned, fists balling in anger. Why the hell is he here right now?

"Yeonjun, Felix is here!" You said, inviting him in.

"I came at the perfect time, didn't I?" Felix said, taking off his shoes and that damned puffer jacket. "Did you order any take out for me?"

"Oh, sorry..." You said with an apologetic smile. "I didn't think that you'd be coming over."

"That's fine." He said, kissing your cheek. Yeonjun furrowed his brows. Did he like you or something? Friends kiss each other's cheeks as well...right? "I'll just steal some of your food." He said with an evil laugh. Running to the couch, he jumped on the seat right next to Yeonjun, bumping into his shoulder. "Hey, Yeonjunnnn!" He grabbed onto his arm. "You're like the addition we need to make a trio friend group, right? You're shy, so that's balance."

"I-I'm not shy!" Yeonjun said, snatching his arm from Felix's hold.

"Awe, he stuttered!" Felix giggled, looking at you.

"See, I told him he was shy but he keeps insisting he's not." You said, sitting on Yeonjun's other side. "You should meet the rest of the tenants. We're friends with all of them."

"Except Greg." Felix said. "Greg doesn't want to be friends with anybody."

"Yeah, he's just a big ol' negative Nancy." You added. "But, Felix, what do you think about watching this movie?" You pointed to the movie on the TV. "It's not scary at all, but it's like Sci-Fi."

"Oh, okay, I'm fine with it." Felix shrugged.

"Great!"

You started the movie, and Yeonjun crossed his arms, hoping that Felix wouldn't put his death grip on him again. Thirty minutes into the movie, you heard a knock on the door, signifying that your take-out was finally here.

"Pause the movie!" Felix said, jumping up and racing you to the door, leaving Yeonjun to pause it no wait for the two of you. He couldn't even believe that he was still here. He could just come up with an excuse and leave so he wouldn't have to be so close to you without being able to actually feed from you. But...he felt as if it would be better to hang out this way. To get really close to you ad then eventually, you guys could finally be alone.

"Felix, don't eat the crab rangoon, that is for ME!" You yelled at him, snatching the bag out of his hand. "I'll let you have some of my lo mein, but NOT the crab rangoon." You sat back down beside Yeonjun. "Felix always tries to steal my food. He's sneaky that way, so be careful around him."

"Hey, stop lying about me to our Yeonjun." Felix whined. "Jun, I don't steal food, I just borrow it."

"That doesn't even make any sense."

"YOU don't make any sense."

"Yeonjun, press play." You said, ignoring Felix. He found the playful banter quite amusing, but he pressed play anyways. The both of you being quiet was way better than hearing you two argue.

This movie was weirdly longer than most movies, it being almost 2 and a half hours. You and Felix finished eating the take out in thirty minutes, and then the room was completely quite, the only thing to be heard was the sound of the TV. It was getting dark outside, and Yeonjun could hear your breaths start to slow down.

After a few more minutes, the both of you were fast asleep, leaving Yeonjun awake and annoyed, as per usual. Not only did you rest your head on Yeonjun's shoulder, but Felix did the same, resting his head on Yeonjun's other shoulder. Yeonjun felt like there were two cats resting on him, and that he couldn't move until the both of you woke up. He could close his eyes just for the fun of it and pretend to sleep, but it was nighttime, and he definitely wasn't in the mood.

By the time the movie played the credits, he thought that it would be wise to wake you two up. He nudged into your side and did the same with Felix.

"The movies over." Yeonjun said.

"Is it?" You asked, yawning and squinting at the TV. "Awe man..."

"Dang it, I was actually looking forward to the end." Felix said in a deep, groggy voice. "Why did it have to be so long? (Y/N), why did you choose such a long movie-oh...sorry, Yeonjun."

Yeonjun looked at him to see what he was sorry about, and Felix was looking down at Yeonjun's shoulder. He followed his line of side to see a wet patch on his white shirt. His nostrils flared and he held back from snapping at him.

"It's...fine." Yeonjun said.

"He's like a puppy, he always drools when he sleeps." You said, shaking your head.

"I don't mean to!" He pouted, crossing his arms. "Let's play the second half of the movie again. I really wanted to see the ending." Oh no. Oh god no. Yeonjun tensed up.

"It's kinda late, though..." You sighed, looking at the time on your phone. Yeonjun relaxed again, inwardly thanking you. He just wanted to be alone again.

"But it's Friday!" Felix said.

"Wait, you're right, I didn't even notice!" You said. "That...that means we could all have a sleepover!" You eyes widened as you got excited.

"S-sleep over?" Yeonjun's eyes widened as well. How could you come up with an even worse idea than Felix?

"Yeah!"

"We haven't had a sleepover in so long!" Felix said. "We could watch movies all night!"

No.

"We can eat junk food!"

No.

"We can make a pillow fort!"

No!

"We can cuddle each other to sleep!"

NO!

———————————————

Yeonjun felt as if his efforts were wasted. Every time you'd ask him to hang out with you, Felix would pop up out of nowhere with that darned smile and excited nature. The two of you were stuck together like glue, never giving Yeonjun a chance to be with you alone. Did Felix have a life? A job? Maybe a pet to look after? It didn't seem like it.

He was starting to get impatient. He hadn't fed from anyone in weeks, and he was reaching his limit. Even Annie looked appetizing, though he would feel a bit too bad if he were to feed from the rabbit.

Just an hour ago, you had asked Yeonjun if he wanted to go out and eat lunch with you, to which he accepted. This time, he hoped Felix wouldn't come and spoil his plans. He was desperate to finally get you where he wanted you.

He approached you outside of a deli, seeing you on your phone, laughing at something. He smiled as you noticed him and waved at him wildly.

"Am I late?" Yeonjun asked.

"Nope, you're just on time." You said, walking into the deli with him. "Since you're still kind of new here, you probably haven't been here before." You said, referring to the deli. "You can get whatever you want, but I recommend the caprese panini."

The both of you went to order, and you ordered the caprese panini, as you usually did. He squinted at the menu, knowing he had to eat something or else you'd be suspicious of him.

"Can I just get a salad?" He asked. "Just put extra tomatoes and steak on top."

"How would you like your steak cooked?"

"Blue." Yeonjun said. The cashier raised their eyebrows for a second before moving on.

"Blue steak? What's that?" You asked him.

"Nearly raw." He shrugged.

"Raw?" Your eyes almost popped out of your head. "What eccentric eating habits you have. I could never." You chuckled. It was the only type of meat he'd eat. The steak was practically still moo-ing, and it had enough blood to stave him off for a day or two.

After ordering your food, the both of you went to go sit at a table.

"Oh, Yeonjun, I hope you don't mind, but I also invited Felix, he'll be here in a few." You said nonchalantly. Yeonjun frowned. "He just got off of work and this deli is his absolute fav."

"I do mind." Yeonjun blurted out, and you looked at him with wide eyes.

"Huh?" You said.

"I do mind." He repeated. "Why does Felix have to be wherever you are? You guys are shoulder to shoulder 24/7."

"No we're not." You laughed. "But he's my best friend, we hangout a lot."

"But, why can't it just be the two of us?" Yeonjun said. "It's always us three. Why can't we be alone together, hm?"

You froze, feeling a bit flustered at his words. Yeonjun always came off as cool, calm, and collected without a worry or complaint in the world. Then you gasped.

"What?" Yeonjun frowned.

"Jun, do...do you...like me?" You asked him, and his jaw dropped in surprise. "Like, it's not a bad thing or anything, and you don't have to really answer but...do you?"

He didn't know what to say. Of course he didn't like you. He liked the smell of your blood, yes, but you? You were too annoying. But would it benefit him to lie and say that he did like you?

"I...I-"

"Besties!" For the first time, Yeonjun was saved by Felix's appearance.

"Felix!" Yeonjun said with a big smile.

"Woah, you see that, (Y/N), Yeonjun's excited to see me!" Felix said, sitting down. "What did you guys order?"

Yeonjun was glad that he could get out of the previous conversation, but he noticed you sneaking glances at him from time to time. Hopefully, you didn't think that he really liked you. Then he'd have to keep up with yet another lie.

—————————————

Today was one of those days where you had to work overtime, and Yeonjun was getting sick an tired of waiting. Everytime you weren't at work, you were with Felix, everytime you weren't with Felix, you were at work. Yeonjun was going to intervene, now in the only way he knew how.

He knocked on Felix's door, and after a few seconds, Felix answered and smiled brightly.

"Hey, Jun!" Felix said, inviting him in immediately. "It's a surprise seeing you here, you never come over."

"Yeah, I thought I'd hang with you." Yeonjun said. "You're not busy or anything, right?"

"Nope!" Felix said. "I was just cleaning up a bit. Good think you came when I was almost done, otherwise you would've seen the mess." He giggled, then grabbed the broom he had before he invited Yeonjun in.

Yeonjun looked around, his apartment being a bit more basic and plain than he thought it would be. The kitchen was slightly bigger than yours and Yeonjun's, but he guessed that was the main reason Felix got this apartment. He seemed to have an affinity for cooking and baking, and if the size of the kitchen didn't say that, then the containers of brownies stacked on the counter did.

"Do you eat all of those brownies?" Yeonjun asked, slightly concerned.

"Nah, though I do eat a lot." Felix replied. "Brownies are my favorite. I usually go door to door to give my neighbors some brownies every time I make a new batch. They call me brownie boy." He laughed. "You can have some if you want. Or...you can have some from my 'special' batch. Which ever you choose." He smiled deviously.

What a unique individual.

"Do you wanna listen to music?" Felix asked, going to his speaker right by his TV. "I've been listening to this new artist, and his music is, like, the best."

"Sure." Yeonjun said. Felix then turned on some music, lowering the volume so that it wouldn't be too loud.

"Oh!" Felix suddenly got excited. "I just remembered something really important that I have to ask you."

"Hm?"

"Come on, sit down." Felix said, patting down on the seat next to him on the couch. Yeonjun sat dow, curious with what his question was going to be. "So, I was talking to (Y/N) the other day, and, like, don't tell her I said this but...I think she likes you." Felix whispered as if (Y/N) was going to hear. "She was talking to me about how she likes your hair and I don't know, something about daddy material, but we were just a little drunk, so...but drunk words are real thoughts, right?"

Yeonjun widened his eyes, feeling a bit awkward.

"And then she was like, 'I think he likes me too, but I'm not sure'." Felix said. "And, like, I'm just trying to be a good friend. You could tell me if you like her, I won't tell her if you don't want me to."

"Honestly..." Yeonjun pursed his lips. "I'm flattered, but...I don't like her like that."

"...oh." Felix said, frowning, then he sighed. "You don't like her at least a little bit?" Felix asked, eyes sparkling with hope.

"No..." Yeonjun said. Right? He didn't like you at all. He may have been slightly interested in you, but that's only fro your blood. Blood. He then rememebered what he was here for. "But...I am interested in her in a different way."

Felix gasped. "You mean..." He whispered, leaning in. "You mean in a sexual way? I-I mean, there's no proble with that, this is a judge free zone." He chuckled. "I completely understand, (Y/N) and I have...played around every now and then."

"Uh, no, you have the wrong idea." Yeonjun scowled. "And I didn't need to know that."

"Oh...oops." He scratched the back of his neck. "Then what do you mean?"

"I mean...that I'm interested in her blood."

Felix didn't say anything. Staring at him with wide eyes. After a couple seconds of silence, he spoke. "Like...in a kinky way or something?"

Yeonjun just laughed. "Of course not, sweetheart. I mean that in a literal way. See...I'm a vampire. And ever since I've moved here, I haven't been able to feed not once. I'm getting a bit impatient, and you can't even seem to leave (Y/N) alone for me." Yeonjun gave the frozen boy a sympathetic look. "So, do you know what I'm going to do? Hm?"

Felix gulped, shaking his head. Yeonjun watched with amusement as Felix started to close in on himself, slightly cowarding away from Yeonjun's presence.

"I am going to feed from you instead." Yeonjun said, leaning in closer to him. "Think of it as a punishment for getting in my way, and that you deserve it, okay?"

"A-are you gonna k-kill me?" Felix asked, finally finding his voice.

"Of course not." Yeonjun giggled. "But if you speak about any of this to (Y/N), you can be sure I will." And with that, Yeonjun yanked Felix's head back with his hear to bear his neck, and before Felix could protest, Yeonjun dug his sharp fangs into the side of his neck, finally getting the blood that he so desperately needed. Felix whined in pain, not able to call for help or to pry away from his strong hold.

Once he got his fix, Yeonjun detached from him, blood dripping down the corner of his mouth. He smiled in satisfaction, licking the blood on his lips. Felix was lightheaded, drowsy from the blood loss as Yeonjun lapped up the blood dripping down his neck so it wouldn't make a mess on his couch. he was at least nice enough to do that.

"Remember our conditions, Felix." Yeonjun reminded him. "Tell (Y/N), and I'll drink you dry." Felix weakly nodded before he fell unconscious.

"Wasn't as good as I suspect (Y/N)'s is, but it'll do." Yeonjun shrugged, laying him down on the couch and then exiting the apartment.

——————————————

Upon entering your apartment, Yeonjun noticed that Felix wasn't there, and it was just you and him this time. He fought the urge to smirk, finally getting what he wanted, but he just wanted to make sure.

"Hey, uh...is Felix not coming over?" Yeonjun asked you.

"No." You sighed. "He's been feeling sick the past couple of days. Like, I'm trying to help him take care of him, but he's not letting anyone into his apartment. Do you know what's up?"

"Nope." Yeonjun shrugged, letting the lie slip from his mouth with ease. "He didn't tell me anything."

"Oh...well he'll probably get better in a few more days." You said. "At least I have you." You giggled, tugging on his arm. "Didn't you say you wanted to hang out with me alone once? Well now you got me, since you obviously don't like me."

"Hey, stop, now you're acting like Felix." He scoffed.

"Hm?" You looked up at him with a look of confusion. "What do you mean acting like Felix?" Then your eyes widened and you let go of his arm. "D-did he say something to you?"

"Uh..." Yeonjun looked away.

"He did, didn't he!" Then you held your hands in your head.

"I didn't say anything." Yeonjun shrugged.

"But I can see right through you." You frowned. "He told you I liked you, right?"

Yeonjun didn't say anything.

"So, he did." You groaned, throwing your head back. "He can't keep a secret to save his life."

He hoped that wasn't literal.

"But I mean, that was obvious wasn't it?" You looked at him.

"Yeah, kinda." He said.

"But you like me back, right?" You asked him. "...right?"

"Oh, um..." Yeonjun failed to make eye contact. Does he like you? He can't seem to find the line between wanting to feed from you and wanting you to be his. This was a problem he's faced ever since he turned into a vampire. If he rejects you now, he may never get to drink your blood. At least that was just the excuse he needed for now. "Sure."

"Sure...?" You frowned. "That doesn't sound so convincing..."

"But it's true." Yeonjun said, lying once again. After centuries of doing so, he was basically a pro. "Why else would I want to be alone with you?"

"Hm..." You still weren't convinced. "Did Felix tell you anything else? Just, uh...making sure."

His eyes widened, and that when you knew he was hiding something from you. "No, uh, he was just saying that the both of you were drunk or whatever."

"Oh, okay, that's it?" You asked.

"And h-he mentioned something about daddy material and the two of you...playing around."

You gasped. "Oh my gosh...why...WHY would he tell you that?" You cringed. "B-but don't worry, it was only, like two times. Felix didn't tell you the details of those times, though, did he?"

"Fortunately, no."

"Good," You chuckled. "Because I'd rather you experience that yourself." You mumbled that last part, looking down on the floor and fighting the urge to giggle.

Yeonjun froze and raised a brow, the corner of his cough slightly rising in a smirk. "Say that again?"

"S-say what?" You darted your eyes from place to place.

"What you just said."

"Hm? I didn't say anything." You chuckled. He looked down at you with a smirk, an idea crossing his mind. Yeah, he found you slightly annoying and a real pain in the ass, but were you attractive? Yes. Especially right now in your large T-Shirt and shorts, basically flaunting your beauty at him. It wouldn't hurt to entertain this little crush you had on him, would it?

"Are you sure?" Yeonjun said, coming closer to you. "If it really wasn't anything, then...I guess so. I was going to see if I could experience some of that, but I guess not."

"Wait, huh?" You grabbed ahold of his arm. He could almost laugh at the face you were making, eyes wide, and mouth pulled into an almost desperate pout. He raised a brow. "I never said that you couldn't."

"Couldn't what?"

"Yeonjun..." You whined and he laughed.

"I'm not sure what you're talking about, you have to be specific." He said.

"I want you to...know the details." You said. "If you could do it better than Felix, that is."

That seemed to tick him off, his cocky smirk falling. You were going to get your words handed to you, but you surely didn't mind when he smashed his lips into yours, and you moaned in surprise, half at his aggression and half at how cold his lips were. You nearly stumbled back at the force, but he held your hip tightly to keep you in place. Once you got past your surprise, you kissed him back, running your hands through his hair as he pushed you towards your couch.

He pushed you on the couch, hovering over you, not parting his lips from yours. He was such a passionate kisser, it already had you moaning for more, swirling your tongue with his. He started to feel you up over your clothes, large cold hands groping every curve with fervor.

He suddenly parted for you, leaving you gasping for air but desperate to feel his lips on yours again.

"You really think I can't fuck you beter than Felix?" He scoffed, the smirk not leaving his face. "I want you to remember that once I'm done with you." He was quick to hook his fingers around both your shorts and panties, slipping them down and off, throwing them somewhere else in the living room. "Tell me any time if you want me to stop, okay?"

You nodded, biting down on your lip. He grabbed the bottom of your thighs with his large hands and pried them open, revealing just how soaked you were to him. He licked his eyes, and you gulped at the primal look he was giving you.

Sliding down so that his head was level with your pussy, he watched as you gushed uncontrollably, wanting him to do something, ANYTHING.

He literally heard your blood rushing to your clit and he zeroed in on it, pressing his nose to it and deeply inhaling your scent. You squeaked in embarrassment, and he only chuckled, looking into your eyes as he licked a long stripe from your hole to your clit, tasting all of your juices. He saw the effect of his action immediately, you biting your lip to contain the sounds that were trying to escape. But he wanted to hear you.

So, he attached his soft, plump lips to your clit, sucking on it. Your hips bucked up at the sudden wash of pleasure, and you gasped, a loud whine coming out. He held your hips down and went at it, wanting to hear more of your sweet moans. He went down to slide his tongue into your hole, seeking out all of your juices while his nose nudged at your clit. He shook his head from side to side, groaning ever so often at your taste and smell. It sent vibrations to your pussy, making you squirm, but Yeonjun held you with an impossibly tight grip that would leave bruises on your hips. The wet sound of him eating you out was embarrassing, but the feeling was out of this world. He didn't fail to keep eye contact with you, dark eyes gauging every one of your reactions.

You then grabbed a tight hold of his hair when his tongue wandered even lower. "Y-yeonjun!" You gasped as he tongued at your rim. He went back and forth between both holes, and in no time, you found herself clenching over nothing as you came hard, the grip on his hair probably too strong, but he didn't care. He loved to watch you fall apart as he devoured all of your cum and licked your pussy clean. You squirmed in overstimulation and he left your pussy alone, dragging kiss after kiss on your tummy, pulling your shirt up with each kiss.

"Your pussy tastes so good," He groaned, finally face to face with you as he attached your lips to yours so you could taste yourself on his tongue. He parted the kiss to push himself up on his knees and unbuckle his belt. You watched with anticipation as he unbuttoned his jeans and slid them down along with his boxers. His cock sprung up, and mighty god...it was so pretty. Veins lined his cock and it stood hard and proud, girthy and long. You clenched your pussy, just wanting it inside of you already, wanting to be fucked impossibly full. "You're so desperate for this cock, aren't you?" Yeonjun laughed at you, as if he could read your mind. You only whined, too desperate to even speak.

He hooked his fingers under your shirt and took it off of you, leaving you completely naked under him.

"Fuck..." He muttered, seeing the complete beauty of your naked form.

"Jun, o-off." You motioned to his shirt, wanting to see him fully. He didn't hesitate to take his shirt off, taking his pants off in the process of doing so. Now, the two of you were fully naked, and his cock was throbbing, begging to be inside of you. He pinned your wrists up above your head with one hand to the point where you couldnt budge them at all. Using his other hand, he grabbed ahold of his cock, and he pressed the tip into your hole, the initial stretch painful as it accommodated his girth. He slid inch by inch of his cock into your wet heat, and he watched as it engulfed him until he reached the hilt, his hips connected to yours. His hand then met with his other to hold your wrists above your head as he waited a few seconds to move.

"You okay?" He asked, trying to hold back from pummeling into you.

"Mhm," You breathed out. "You can move. J-just go slow at first...you're kinda big."

"Kinda?" He smirked, pushing out slowly and then thrusting back in. You closed your eyes, biting your lip as a moan slipped through.

"Very, v-very big." You corrected yourself as he trusted into you again. You were slowly getting used to his size as your slick coated his cock from base to tip. He kept it slow, clenching his jaw to gain some self control. You were so tigt and wet, sucking him in with every thrust. He wanted to see you lose your mind on his cock, he wanted the neighbors to hear you scream his name, and he especially wanted Felix to hear it. He didn't like the idea of the two of you even touching each other, and he wanted to imprint himself into you so that it wouldn't happen again. Just thinking about it had him thrusting into you at a faster pace, and you took it, starting to get nervous as he got faster. You weren't nervous that it was going to hurt, no, as the pain had subsided by now, you were just nervous that you were going to lose yourself in the mean time and that you were going to say things that you couldn't take back. You were going to be so embarrassed facing your neighbors in the morning.

You watched as his face contorted into pleasure as he picked up the pace, and the sound of skin slapping started to resonate throughout the room. Your breathing went harsh, and you whined with every exhale and every skillfull thrust inside of you.

"Please, Jun, harder-" You begged, now used to his size.

"Are you sure?" He asked and you nodded desperately. He started to rock into you with more strength, your body bouncing up and down on the couch as he started to pound you into the cushions. You opened your legs impossibly wider, as if his cock would hit deeper inside of you. You were started to get a bit too loud, but that was exactly what Yeonjun wanted.

“Fuck…” Yeonjun groaned as he pounded into you. Your hands balled into fists, wanting to grab onto something to try and keep your sanity as he pounded your pussy to pieces.

You felt your orgasm come close to the hilt that fast, clenching around his throbbing member.

This was a total rush for Yeonjun. The suction of you around him but the delicious rush of your blood drove him crazy, and he felt his canines start to point, sharp fangs protruding past the bottoms of his teeth. In your cloud of pleasure, you didn’t even notice nor did you care to notice. Yeonjun was making you feel too good that you didn’t feel compelled to pay attention to detail.

His eyes glowed into an alarming red color, dark as they zeroed in on your neck. He seemed to pound into even harder, forcing an orgasm to rip through you for the second time. You threw your head back and arched your back in pleasure, tits bouncing with every thrust he continued to give you.

He growled, his vision nearly blurring and all sounds muffled as the only thing he heard was the pumping of your blood in your veins. With her neck beared to him and seeing you in such a vulnerable state, he got filled with uncontrollable blood lust.

Before he could try and regain control, he bent down and sunk his teeth into the skin of your neck and you yelped in pain and surprise. Your eyesight blurred as your rolled your eyes. You didn’t know what was happening or why it was happening, but the pain only made your orgasm stronger, as if it was just ongoing.

The immense pleasure didn’t stop as Yeonjun was pounding into you in an inhumane pace, pushing you up the couch with each thrust. You were so loud, too loud, erotic moans and whines resonating throughout the whole apartment.

He groaned, the taste of you just what he imagined. Sweet, heavenly, angelic, delicious. It was the best thing he’s ever tasted. Fuck, maybe he did like you. Maybe he was even in love.

Before he managed to accidentally suck you dry, he detached from your neck, watching as you were lost in extreme pleasure.

He drew yet another orgasm out of you, just as strong as the last one. You whined like a hurt puppy, shaking your head vigorously, even though your neck hurt.

“T-too much, ah— too much!” You whined, legs shaking like leaves in the wind. Yeonjun ignored your pleas, watching as tears fell down your face. Despite you telling him it was too much, you didn’t want it to stop. You found it hard to breathe when you were feeling this much pleasure, plus the fact that you were feeling so lightheaded.

“I’m gonna cum,” Yeonjun groaned, holding your hips down so that he could hold himself fully sheathed inside of you as he came. He shut his eyes tight, releasing his load deep inside of your womb.

You couldn’t stop your hips from twitching up as you slowly unclenched your shaking fists, taking multiple deep breaths.

Yeonjun watched as you calmed down, your eyes fluttering shut and your muscles finally relaxing from the strenuous activity. He bent down to softly kiss your neck, licking on your wound. The wound healed within seconds after that and he smiled.

He hadn’t noticed that you were now fully asleep. Or did you pass out? Which ever it was had him a bit worried. Had he taken too much blood? Had he fucked you so hard?

Why was he even worried in the first place? He didn’t like you like that. Or maybe he did?

He slowly pulled his softening member out, closing your legs and he put his clothes back on, keeping an eye on you. Looking around, he found a blanket and he tucked you into it, seeing as you were probably not going to wake up any time soon.

He hesitantly placed a kiss on your forehead, feeling a bit sorry that he had put you in this state. With one last look at you, he left your apartment, but not without leaving you with a text so you could see it when you wake up.

——————————————

You felt so groggy waking up. You were fully naked on the couch with a blanked draped over you, and the sun peeked through the curtains.

Slowly sitting up, you looked around to see if there was any trace of Yeonjun being here. Did he really just leave you here after he basically fucked the life out of you the night before?

Picking up your phone to see the time, you noticed a text in your notifications.

Jun <3: Sorry for fucking you to sleep :) let’s talk more in the morning.

You scoffed, but you couldn’t help but laugh and shake your head. Remembering the events of last night, you couldn’t help but smile. He had made you feel so good, better than anyone has ever had.

But that’s when your smile dropped. You remembered just one thing that really stood out. His bright red eyes. But his eyes were brown? Yet…he had red eyes last night. And that pain that you felt in your neck when he bit you…that was no regular bite. He punctured you with his teeth, and although I felt good, you had some questions to be answered.

You quickly took a shower to wash all of the sex that lingered on you and then you got dressed, making a beeline for Yeonjun’s apartment. You knocked on the door for it to be answere in a few seconds.

“Good morning, (Y/N).” Yeonjun said with a smile.

“Morning, Jun!” You gave him an even bigger smile. “Can I come in?”

He opened the door wider, gesturing for you to come in, and so you did, although you found walking to be a little hard and he laughed as he watched you waddle in.

“So…” You said slowly as he shut the door behind you.

“So?”

“Last night was…nice.” You said.

“Nice?”

“Yes. Very nice.” You nodded. “Very memorable. But, I have a few questions.”

“I thought you would.” He crossed his arms.

“What do you mean?” You squinted your eyes at him.

“Yah, stop acting clueless, I know what you’re curious about.” He said. “That’s why I texted you that we’d talk in the morning.”

“Oh…then if I ask you this question, you won’t get mad and you’ll answer truthfully?” You asked.

“Yes.”

“Okay.” You took a deep breath. “What the fuck?”

Yeonjun raised his eyebrows. “Is that your question? I need you to be a bit more specific.”

“Y-you, you bit me and stuff,” You said. “Please tell me…are you like…not human? Or is this some role play thing that you like?”

“Wait, how many people do vampir role play, I’ve never heard it mentioned this much in my life, and that’s saying something, because I’m four centuries old.”

“Centuries-“ You choked, holding onto your chest as you coughed. “Y-you’re a vampire!?”

“Quiet down, will you?” He scowled. “Yes. That’s what I am.”

“So…you drank my blood?”

“Yes.”

“Then how am I still alive?” You asked, eyes wide. “Am I a vampire now!?”

“No, (Y/N), you are not a vampire.” Yeonjun said. “I just drunk enough so that you wouldn’t die.”

You then pouted, eyes gleaming. “You care about me that much? Even though you need blood to survive, you made sure that you didn’t suck me dry?”

“I…what?” He furrowed his brows in confusion. “Why are you taking this so easily, where’s the scream of terror and the ‘please don’t kill me’ stuff?”

“I’m not scared, Jun.” You said. “It’s because I like you. And if you haven’t already killed me, then that means you won’t do it anyways. It’s so kind of you.” You giggled like a little school girl while Yeonjun looked at you as if you grew two heads.

He then laughed, shaking his head. “(Y/N), you’re something else, you know that right?” He had half the mind to tell you that he didn’t actually like you, but there was something in him that didn’t even believe that statement. “You’re cute.” He mumbled. “You’re really not scared of me?”

“Nope.” You said, shaking your head. “I feel safe with you. Actually, you can drink my blood anytime. It felt good!”

“It won’t feel good if I’m not fucking you while drinking from you.”

“Oh…then everytime you want to drink from me, you can fuck me at the same time.” You said with a big smile making him laugh.

“Then you’d be okay with me ducking you every day?” He raised a brow.

“That’s an arrangement I could definitely work with.” You said. Yeonjun could feel the sexual tension start to rise once again as he looked at you, wanting to pin you against the wall and get yet another taste, but all plans were ruined as he heard a knock on the door.

He frowned, going to answer the door. Once he opened the door, he saw Felix there with a scarf around his neck. He guessed he forgot to heal him after he fed from him.

“Yeonjun, I can’t keep it in anymore, I just can’t!” Felix said. “(Y/N) is my best friend, and I don’t want you to hurt her, so I’m going to tell her what happened, I don’t care if you kill me!”

“Felix?” You approached from behind Yeonjun. “What are you doing here? Aren’t you sick?”

“(Y/N), we have to go, h-he’s a vampire!” Felix said, pointing to him. He took off his scarf, showing you the two bite marks on his neck. “See? He bit me!”

“He bit you?” You frowned at Yeonjun.

“I was getting hungry, don’t look at me like that.” Yeonjun said. “At least he’s not dead.”

You sighed as you looked back at Felix. “Felix, I know what he is.” You sighed. “He bit me too, and see, I’m fine.”

“H-huh? But he told me he’d kill me if I told you…”

“What!?”

“Oh my gosh,” He grabbed Felix’s arm and pulled him inside, shutting the door behind him. “(Y/N), I didn’t want you to know at that time, so I threatened him, but I told you, obviously, so no, I’m not going to fucking kill him.”

“You’re not?” Felix asked, eyes welling up with tears.

“No…”

“Oh, thank goodness, I was so sure I was going to die!” Felix cried, hugging Yeonjun tightly. “Thank you for sparing my life.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Yeonjun said, peeling the shorter man off of him.

“I can’t believe he knew before me.” You pouted.

“Don’t worry, it wasn’t really by choice.” Yeonjun shrugged. “Besides, you’re my girlfriend, now, so that doesn’t matter.”

You widened your eyes, smiling widely. “Girlfriend?”

“Mhm.”

“Girlfriend!?” Felix exclaimed. “But I thought—“ He stopped once he was faced with Yeonjun’s dealt by glare. “I thought…it would happen earlier of course! Haha…yeah.”

“Don’t worry, Felix, you won’t be single for long.” You patted his back. “Don’t be too sad being the thrived wheel.”

“But do I have to be?” He pouted and you tilted your head in confusion. “You two were the ones who were so loud last night, right? I could hear it all the way across the hall.”

“Uh…” Yeonjun looked away.

“It’s okay, it’s didn’t bother me.” Felix smiled. “Could you do me next, though-“

“Felix!” You yelled.

“What? You never heard of a polyamorous relationship—“

———————————————

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