#its probably just because of stress or something

[shrimshrim4fun]

Dating headcanons for Garofano:

(It ain’t great but just a quick scramble, it might be a bit OCC but I tried my best 😞)

SFW-

- Possessive, she wants you to rely on her and she want to feel close to you. Make sure you don’t ever leave her ❤️

- She loves making clothes for you, around 99% of your clothes are made by her. She likes to see you wear them. A sign that you belong to her.

- I think she would crochet you stuff, like she probably does yearning because she probably knits.

- If you ask she’ll make you all type of plushies if you like them. If you like something from a claw machine, she might not be able to get it but she’ll make you one by hand.

- The best way to return this is by just spending time with her. She likes your presence and you yapping to her.

- Her house is very cozy, lots of candles and a very homey vibe

- Y’all cuddle a lot and I mean A LOT. She enjoys holding you close, your face nuzzling into the crook of her neck or into her chest as she whispers sweet things into your ears.

- She cooks food for you a lot. Whatever you want that day, she’ll make. She’s a really good cook.

- She’s a great mother figure and deals well with kids.

NSFW-

- Sex for her is slow and sensual. She wants to make sure you enjoy it and doesn’t want to hurt you, but if you insist she’ll be more rough.

- Kinda has a lactation kink 🧍‍♀️It might just be me but she enjoys you sucking at her nipples as she fingers you. She also likes it after a long day, you laying on her as you suck her stress away.

- Mommy kink. Do I need to say more. Like look at her. She’s the type to say stuff like: Your doing so good for me baby. And if you accidentally whimper mommy she’s so turned on I know it.

- She rarely uses a strap or any type of toy. She likes to know its her body that’s making you feel good and not some toy.

- Her tits are quite….large. So they are quite sensitive and she enjoys it if you gently knead them in your hand. Cupping one of her breasts and kneading it softly really helps her release stress. She will start moaning and sighing🧍‍♀️I was there when it happened.

- A god with her fingers. Hitting all the places within you.

- I actually think she’s quite vanilla but isn’t afraid to do anything you want. But she will refuse anything that will hurt you like whipping.

- She’s more of a praise than degrading person. She likes to reassure you and make you feel good about yourself.

- Her aftercare is SO GOOD. Like you got tea, a bath, blankets, your all cleaned up, you don’t have to move a muscle. She’ll make sure everything is perfect. Cuddling is a huge thing after love making. Holding you in her arms and reassuring on how good you did for her

That’s about it, it ain’t great but I tried my best 😭 Who should I do next?

#path to nowhere #gotta feed the shrimps #ptn garofano #garofano x reader

[carmenberzattosgf]

man or bear trend is asking women and afab presenting if they'd rather be in the woods with a man or a bear and everyone's choosing bear for obvious reasons.

but also can you imagine saying bear and carms like me!! and you have to be like babe no,,,,, like an actual bear and he's all oh :(

I just think the restaurant is doting on eva and probably Sydney and reader and that's what kind of kindle it like them being like pff and then realizing and omg can you imagine fak and Richie after "dont worry, I'll drop anyone who looks at you funny. no seriously, where's my gun, ill show you. ill fuck them up"

but its in an endearing protective way and I think after when its quieter fak would be like I'm so sorry but fr ill fight people for you and richies stressing over eva and tiff in the world

(also you're okay, i sent that like mid finals for you so don't worry <3)

-🌂

( omg I’m glad to see you’re still hanging around 🌂 anon!)

There’s something so wonderful when men realize they can be the problem. Please fak and Richie would be sweeties about the man vs bear thing.

Oh my gosh Carmy yeah. He is would think you’re joking and picking bear because, he’s the Bear- (bEcAuSe yOuRe tHe bEaR aNd I rEmEmBeR yOu)

He would then apologize on behalf of the entire male species bc he just feels bad. Bless him.

#🌂 anon #carmen berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto #carmy berzatto x reader #the bear #the bear fanfiction #carmy berzatto

[redr0sewrites]

Viktor general romance hcs!

🥀A/n: HES SO POOKIE I LOVE HIM‼️

🥀Cw: fluff, smut, slight angst if u squint, switch!viktor

🥀minors dni with the nsfw portion

sfw:

this man is such a workaholic, he genuinely never thought that he would fall in love

viktor is very inexperienced in the romance department, so he's definitely a little awkward at first

once he's close with someone, he definitely starts to open up to them a lot more! he'd really appreciate a partner that he can have deep, philosophical conversations with and definitely asks for your opinion on a lot of things

your a very valuable person in his life, and viktor makes sure that you know that. while he may not be great with words, his actions show that he truly cares for you

while he may not admit it, viktor loves when you complete acts of service for him or help him at all. he loves when you visit him in the lab and bring him some coffee, it always makes his day

because he works so much and spends so much time in the lab, viktor will often invite you to join him there. you two often spend hours together, just sitting in near-silence and working in tandem. viktor would love it if you got along well with jayce (and sky too but mostly jayce), you are his favorite people and he would love it if you all got along

viktor isn't the most cuddly person in the world, but he makes some exceptions for you! after a long day, he loves just melting into your embrace and having you play with his hair. viktor would spend hours just laying in your lap and rambling about hextech if he could

he's not big on pda, but he loves holding your hand. viktor holds your hand anywhere and everywhere, he always wants you as close to him as possible and he'll sometimes trace words into the back of your hand with his thumb when you are asleep. before he said "i love you" out loud, viktor probably traced it against your skin at least a million times.

viktor prefers to stay in for dates, and definitely enjoys staying up late with you. idk if they have television in the world of arcane, but it seems a little shocking that they can have giant magical teleportation portals and literal magic orbs and magic flying blimps and body enhancing drugs but haven't created a tv. so like. lets just pretend they do have television. cuz if they do, than you and viktor DEFINITELY have movie marathons and movie nights together

he loves making you little trinkets and gifts!!! whenever there is extra material leftover at the lab, viktor's first thought is to make something for you! he once made you an entire bouquet of fake flowers out of scrap metal, and told you that he would love you until the flowers withered (it would never wither cuz its made of metal ☹️). your home is practically overflowing with these little trinkets, but you REFUSE to get rid of any of them (i think i saw the flower scenario on a tiktok, but URGRHRHRH i wanna write it so... if anyone is interested... 😇)

honestly, the best time spent with viktor is in the comfort of your own home. you have a very domestic relationship, and he likes sitting with you in comfortable silence.

he'll call you pet names in zaun, even before you two are together😭

overall, viktor is genuinely such a sweetheart once he trusts you and will stay by your side no matter what

nsfw:

SWITCH LEANING SUB 🫵🫵🫵

because of his leg and overall sickness, viktor definitely prefers simpler positions that don't require a lot of physical stress

he likes having you on top of him so that he doesn't have to put pressure on his knee, and he definitely prefers not having to push himself too hard

i'd say his favorite positions would probably be you riding him, sitting on his face, lotus position, and maybe 69 or missionary too (but the last two are only on good days when he isn't in too much pain)

at first, viktor was insecure about sleeping with you because he genuinely does not think very highly of himself and didn't want you to think that he was weak or ugly :( please reassure him

ON THAT TOPIC!!! PRAISE!!!!!!

praise is literally SO important to him, while it is one of his kinks i genuinely think he appreciates it outside of the bedroom as well.

lots and lots of communication. "is this ok", "can i touch you here", type of stuff. he's very gentle with you, and obviously you are with him as well

because he wears his leg brace literally all the time, viktor has a handful of bruises and scars from the brace rubbing against his skin 24/7 (idk if he sleeps w it on tbh- im assuming not but u get the point) and he can be a little insecure about them. PLEASE kiss them and show his body a lot of affection in general

viktor isn't super vocal at first, but once he trusts you he lets out the neediest whines and moans. he curses a lot under his breath, and he has a verrryyyyy pretty fucked-out expression.

this man is a switch 100%. most of the time he subs and bottoms, but sometimes he'll dom from the bottom and very occasionally he'll dom from on top. when he's a sub i definitely see him as, like, the male version of a pillow princess. he definitely just wants to lay back and get taken care of, and will get very pouty if you do not do so. he loves being pampered and praised and he's SOOO sensitive when he's subbing. when he's in a more dominant mood, i see him getting off on your pleasure a lot more than his own. he loves fingering you, and definitely loves overstimulating you

viktor loves being marked and also marking you. he bites down on your shoulder a lot to muffle his moans, and he loves giving you hickeys. i genuinely think that's another one of his kinks as well

TOYS!!! im sorry but this man definitely has an extensive collection of sex toys you can't tell me im wrong bc im not. he isn't inexperienced by any means, but he probably got a lot of toys over the years because he just didn't really have that many partners and just wanted to try a bunch of things on his own yk? anyways, he fucking LOVES using them on you and teasing you mercilessly is definitely part of your guys' foreplay

this man has the most gorgeous hands and definitely puts them to good use‼️ you cannot tell me viktor does not have amazingly skilled hands bc your wrong. he literally does jayce told me

i don't think he's super vanilla but i also don't think he's into like SUPER hardcore bdsm? i think it would intrigue him but he's probably the type to be into what you are into and if you want to try something new, he's more than willing (as long as its safe. either of you getting seriously hurt is a major nono for him). that being said, i don't think he'd mind being handcuffed or experimenting a bit with shibari, but you guys DEFINITELY have a safeword. like even if you have 100% vanilla soft sex he still establishes a safeword with u and makes sure your comfortable.

overall, his kinks include: praise (giving and receiving), little bit of edging (receiving), overstimulation (only giving), marking, and kind of a wildcard but also maybe somnophilia. like he would NOT complain about waking up to head lmao- he's def the type to have wet dreams i want to write this omg

i am so! tired!!! still feeling very crappy but i am pushing through my classes until the end of the year 😭 i am so close and yet so far 🙂‍↕️

ANYWAYS HOPE U ENJOYED!!! FEEL FREE TO SEND IN ARCANE REQUESTS!!! ive also been on a huge jayce x viktor streak lately? im not usually a big shipper but their dynamic intrigues me. i want to put them in a jar together and shake them around a bit. but yea i love them both!!!

#viktor x reader #viktor arcane #arcane viktor #arcane x reader #arcane x female reader #arcane x male reader #arcane x you #arcane x y/n #arcane smut #arcane fluff #arcane imagines #arcane #league of legends x reader #league of legends smut #league of legends viktor #league of legends #arcane viktor x reader #arcane viktor smut #arcane viktor fluff #viktor x you #viktor x y/n #viktor smut #viktor fluff #arcane viktor imagine #arcane fanfiction #arcane fanfic #viktor lol x reader #lol viktor #lol viktor x reader #lol viktor smut

[berrinlee]

hiii!! I just recently found out abt ur blog and I really really love your works sm like omg ugshhdhdh

anywhoo is it okay to request sbg x reader who acts like regina george? its been bothering my mind lately aaaaa u dont have to write it! hihih tyty i love you take careeee

IT GIRL

author’s note : i love when ppl enjoy my things ilysm /p

concept : regina!reader with the sbg group

genre : headcanons, mean girls!au, drabble

content : might be ooc, reader is an actual bitch, not a single hint of genuine softness

meeting the group

⠀ › ⠀has bullied logan once or twice but then ignored his presence completely after and forgot about him

⠀ › ⠀out of the whole group, logan is unsure of you the most. he can’t tell if being in a group with someone who bullied him before is good since you have seemed to forget who he was.

⠀ › ⠀tyler knows your reputation and is bothered by your presence honestly

⠀ › ⠀ashlyn has never heard of you; never had connections so she doesn’t know you that well but was bothered with your first impression

⠀ › ⠀taylor would try to warm up to you but you make her feel so out of place with how flashy you are

⠀ › ⠀ben and aiden don’t know your reputation since they’re new students but when tyler suddenly revealed everything when he started complaining about you; aiden was entertained with your rivalry

sorrel house

⠀ › ⠀you found the random lady who asked you to go inside very.. weird.

⠀ › ⠀only went in because the others said sure, you just had to be nice.

⠀ › ⠀you felt chills down your spine when you saw the phantom but just like tyler, you chose to brush it off.

phantom world

⠀ › ⠀by this time, you still hated them. (you probably shit talked them too)

⠀ › ⠀when you all got locked in the room, you felt panic until you just thought of using them as ‘meat shields’

⠀ › ⠀you and tyler had a whole fight about what matters most in the moment until ashlyn had to break it up

⠀ › ⠀the first time you were put in severe danger, you used the others as an advantage to survive.

⠀ › ⠀however, this caused problems. the next night; you would be in the same place again.

⠀ › ⠀at some point you’d have to apologize. the next time you were put in danger; it was logan near you. the first thing you had to do was.. apologize? are you fucking serious.

⠀ › ⠀due to the panic of the near-death experience, you stammered out an apology and begged him to help (took a few corrections since you were screaming curse words)

general headcanons

⠀ › ⠀when you flex your expensive things, aiden would suddenly bring up something more expensive (it becomes a debate on whos is more expensive. between the two, aiden’s having fun and you’re just getting upset.)

⠀ › ⠀tyler took the longest warming up to you

⠀ › ⠀there would be a lot of times when you would get into fights because of how opinionated you can be.

⠀ › ⠀you’re pretty much forced to be friends with them. it’s ride or die. no matter how much you hate them.

“i can’t do this anymore, i swear to god, i’m so stressed! and stress causes pimples! and restless nights cause eyebags! i’m gonna get eyebags and pimples!” you panicked “now’s not the time to worry about that!” tyler screamed, grabbing your arm and pulling you away from the phantom chasing you.

#school bus graveyard #sbg #school bus graveyard x reader #aiden x reader #ashlyn x reader #taylor x reader #tyler x reader #ben x reader #logan x reader #logan fields #aiden clark #ashlyn banner #taylor hernandez #tyler hernandez #ben clark #sbg x reader

[hhyperfixblog]

Pfp change

My fixation in Alice in wonderland has calmed down a lot for some reason and is making me sad :( I've gotten into fun centers again and am just kind of in fixation limbo (it's killing me) therefore I put my pfp as one of my favorite animatronic Alices

#alice in wonderland #animatronics #alice in wonderland animatronic #mickey mouse revue #i havent had a super long fixation in a long time this is killing me #its probably just because of stress or something

[ghastlyaffairs]

for something as trivial and simple those feelings sure are hard to get rid of

also made a gif a version for fun + alt version with no tears under the cut

the gif is in very low resolution...this is a feature (i could make it bigger but that would require saving each frame individually and than glueing it all together. also i feel like low resolution suits it better. aesthetically and fits the mood)

#hs #homestuck #dirk strider #eye strain #probably? if you think i should tag something else let me know!! #anyway hooray its time for rambling in the tags #so uhhh heres the teæ i've been sick for like a week and you know how it is when suddenly your throat becomes the main gunk warehouse #and you can't breathe lol. wish i could just pull it out. anywaaayy this is basically a vent piece for me being sick lol #also i could draw remotively the same thing with kris deltarune. oh how easy it is to project having a cold #though i have been also experiencing troubles with feelings recently as well....how fitting for dirk #speaking of the man himself (enough of me) his relationship with his own Heart...is peculiar to say the least #the thing i love about alphakids is that despite being so feral they were. so relatable. i cannot stress this enough how unwell they are an #and how they represented being a teen so well. yeah being 15 years old makes that to you #imagine being an emotional mess and trying to fit the 'norm' and act normal about your friends so youre not offputting #and then you fall in love with you friend and your ai clone falls in love with him too looool noone makes out of this one alive #uhh literally. godtiering stuff and dying remember #and speaking of it. tw for suicidal talk for the rest of tags #do you ever think dirk was suicidal. of course the part of when he teleports his head to jake was totally planned and he knew he would -> #wake up as dreamself but. don't you think the moment he cut his head off was sort of. cathartic. how much did he hate his own guts #beheading himself not only for the plan...but also because he thought he 'deserved' it #also wow he is a Prince and was literally beheaded don't you think its funny hahaa #sigh poor thing #this has ended on a not the very pleasant note hm #also fckkkkkk i didn't draw anything with rose/mary for the lesbian visabilty week #(putting the slash because tumblr search system has a dumb gag with showing you posts that contain the tag inside the other tag. #and i don't want this post to show up for the ros/mary fans because it's not!!!! its rose's father emotional crisis post!!!!) #update YOOOO WHAT THE HELL THE GIF HAS EVEN LESS PIXELS THEN I PLANNED fantastic #this your breakfast now tumblr. enjoy your crunchy flakes of dirks meltdown. mwah

[puppyeared]

its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously

#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to #im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but #because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of #exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something #and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh #and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing #because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant #even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still #its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn…. #if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about #I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird #maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel #a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t #I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to #be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol #idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week #had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting #yapping #does this count as vent #vent #Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly

[moeblob]

I am really tired of a situation rn.

#fe three houses #felix hugo fraldarius #me using felix on my angy days because he is my angersona? you bet! #anyway if you want to try to get someones money or something bc you hurt your own car banging into mine #can you try to be a bit more timely with it buddy come on you hit me on feb29 ! #why am i getting your insurance company calling me today ! #also i would like to point out i didnt do it and neither of us were hurt and i filed a claim with my own insurance comp #and also filed a police report bc he didnt even suggest calling the cops to the scene #so like yeah hey man maybe you and your insurance company can move a lil faster or smth #literally everything that happened the day of is - according to my dad - an intimidation tactic #i look like im 15 and he probably thinks he can take advantage of a new driver but ya know! tough luck! #im just really tired and stressed over multiple things not negative so getting this on top of it was like #bro .................... anyway my phone didnt pick up for some reason so i called back and then nothing got resolved #cause the person who actually called me wasnt around to connect the line to from the guy who answered #idk man just its a lot despite my v minimal energy #got a job interview on monday tho ! and then also next week is an eye exam #and you might be thinking isnt that a good thing to get your eyes checked? you are correct but i am horrified #there are two body parts that give me absolute anxiety and eyes are one of them #and i know my eye sight is declining and im just v anxious #its fine im going to be fine i just have to be anxious about it

[nonomives]

Guys just a gentle reminder, nothing serious or outright dangerous so please don't turn this into a big deal

Anyways, just a gentle reminder

Yall--pls chill out with the thirst. I get that Wally is attractive but pls control yourselves. At the very least don't make outright explicit comments (like using terms that are clearly NSFW) about Wally or any of the characters in welcome home in public sites

I'm personally speaking for myself here so I don't speak for everybody

This account is accessible for anyone to see, thus your comments are also accessible for anybody to see. I'm not uncomfortable more than I am worried about the discomfort it may cause to some. This isn't to target anybody, nor is this a means to talk down on anyone. I just want to get this idea across while it can still be calmly talked about

#this will hopefully be the only post i make about this topic #i dont want it to be a reccuring theme because this can be quite stressful to go through #gentle reminder #sorry its just been something I figured I should say something about #bc as much as it is surreal for me to actually accept a lot of people do see my posts and probably #check the reblogs and tags under them #again I dont hold any grudge nor hate to anybody #so please dont use this post as an excuse to belittle anybody when we can talk about it respectfully

[5tupidusrnam3]

ITS MY BIRTHDAYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!

I drew something for fun to post on my birthday YAY

I. AM. FIFTEEN. NOW. I. HAVE. SURVIVED. FIFTEEN. YEARS. YAAAAAAAAAY AAAKJNSHUVAJHS JKBHIDIHBSIHBSIHSBHIHIXBIHXIHBWUOHUISBIHBXIHBSHIBZIHBXUIBHIABJIA

#birthday #objectsona #osc #Birthdyayayayayaya YAYAYQYAYA AHIJAYUSVUYAUHBAVYUVSHUBABIHXBUHXHUBAIUBWBHISUIBBISHUBIXBUIXBYIXUVAGUVWVUGXUTF #I decided to NOT try to make the drawing a masterpiece because if I did I would probably be super stressed out about finishing it in time #So I drew something that was fun to draw like my cat and just text because I like writing my thoughts sometimes #ANYWAYS #ITS MY BIRTHDAY #YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYYAYA

[bmpmp3]

fish......

#art #traditional art #watercolour #embroidery thread #oc art #ocs #oc group: unsorted #oc: unnamed #i gotta name him. my guy whos secretly a school of fish pretending to be human #this was another study i made for class along with a few other doodles of this guy. then i got kinda roasted by my TAs lol #wasnt their fault i think they were just tired and stressed. plus theyre like the same age as me. i know what its like being 25 LOL #it did discourage me a lot in the moment because despite the everything about me thats probably apparent both through my blog and irl #i keep my art passions really REALLY closed off irl LOL so at the time i was like just barely stepping my toe out and showing my truth: #that all i do all day is draw dorky oc stuff HDKJSDS i did kinda immediately get called cringe in all but the actual word orz #it was a bummer but i think i feel better about it now. especially because again my TAs are the same age as me or younger than me #and im not gonna let a 25 year old calling me cringe get me in my head HKFSKJFDSd plus again i think they were just stressed and in a mood #because other times theyve been chill even when giving a harsh critiques so it mightve just been like. something in the air #but you know. isnt that a bit of a milestone in its own right. being called cringe in your fine arts class critique <3 #but i still like my funny guy from my dream. hes just a normal ass looking guy. who is made of fish :)

[cleverpaws]

one of these days i will drop an essay abt how there's actually no objectively correct characterization of any gen1 characters because they are, when in their most un-filtered state, supposed to be the streamers that play them, and to assume we know basically anything about who those people are is to miss the point of the social experiments entirely. and none of you are ready

#like i think we get at least a bit of what glranboo is like. an inkling of how glcharlie must act. maybe a smidge of glsneeg #but also do we really? they're in a high-stress situation #we don't get to know anything about how they are outside of that #don't even get me started on all the characters that die before we get to see them outside of the filter #it just amazes me when i see people getting mad about how “gl!x wouldn't fucking do that” because. really? how do you know? #honestly theres something to be said here about how argumentative dsmp-adjacent fandoms are about correct characterization in general #(at least from what ive seen. its probably other fandoms too im just not in many other fandoms) #but im too tired to delve into that and well. thats not what this post is about anyways #anyways yadda yadda don't misinterpret me this is not me saying you aren't allowed to have your own interpretation of tse characters #it is in fact the exact opposite. go nuts #this is just my weekly dose of Thinking About The Gen 1 Content Creation Allegory again #i think this is my longest tag rant yet jesus #genloss tse #rlly hoping posting this goes over well ell oh ell

[re-alku]

Stress relief painting

#click for better quality! #room of swords #kodya karevic #idk painting is like the easiest thing to do artwise so like yeah. stress relief <3 #might edit this later but like idk just something to keep me busy #also this kind of got inspired by a convo in the server where we all just didnt like. know what a realistic kodya would look like at all #like fucking everyone else easy as hell but i dont even know if hes like bear material or just a guy #like. longface or a more broad jaw whats up w that #also his hair killing me on main because its so fucked up #read into this how you will but probably. gyrus post death ngl #post first death #like girl i know his ass was following around kodya anyway so #:thumbsup: #alku art

[panspy]

hmmmmmm.................vent post under tags...... feel free to give advice or dont¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#i think this is an autism related thing #but i genuinely feel like i wasnt made right for the world we live in #like something is just missing from me that ive never seen ppl talk about #and i know this is going to sound entitled and privileged and i KNOW i know i promise and im so lucky i can even be thinking about this but #it feels weird to have the privilege to be scared #this is specifically in regards to working #like having a job. like going to work #i feel like im missing an extremely important part of my brain or my BEING that is capable ot going through the motions of participating #in society. i never felt that switch of wanting to get a job in high school to make money for myself and get that experience #i feel like there's something i MISSED where everyone took a class on how to apply and go to interviews and write resumes and not be scared #like i NEED to be walked through every SINGLE step because i dont know HOW #and i see my peers and the literal entire world around me participating in this atmosphere and i dont know where to start #im fucking twenty three years old and ive only ever been an intern and an assistant #not even a full year of working #i cant drive and i probably wont ever because thats a whole other can of worms #and that means i have to rely on other people to even get to wherever it was i needed to go #i feel like a fucking child because im missing this knowledge that everyone else seems to have #ive tried i really have but none of it seems simple and its all so much and there arent steps to follow #i mean there ARE but its like 1) look up job 2) apply 3) interview 4) yay you're employed #and im talking about each micro step inbetween #what am i missing #and then theres the fucking demand avoidance that slaps me across the face whenever my mom brings it up to me like i KNOW youre being #supportive and encouraging and its not your fault my brain turns off and decides im full of shame bc i cant CONFRONT ANYTHING #jesus christ #manf i know u can see this maybe dont bring it up to mom i can do that on my own maybe #i WANT to help i just want to help at my own pace but unfortunately the world isnt built around individual paces and nothing revolves #around me. i know this #i want to help my mom i want her to never be stressed about money and to retire and never work or help me pay my student loans but i #genuinely feel like theres a switch that never turned on in my head and im being left behind and i genuinely dont know how to. like be alive

[arionawrites]

1. it’s my 24th birthday today, so my goal of being published by the time i’m 25 is now a one year looming monster, but i never specified what kind of published and am currently looking in various literary magazines that are recommended for writers who have yet to be published, so i’m surprisingly confident that i can make it work? and tbh even if whatever i write isn’t officially published before my 25th birthday, if i have someone in the process of being published then i’ll be happy!! no matter what though, i’m gonna try to be proud of myself for at least giving it my best shot!!

2. i honestly love that my birthday is on the ides of march because the ides of march meme shitposting is only a thing on tumblr but it also being my birthday makes it easier to like. be excited about the ides of march outside of tumblr. like even in person i can be like “it’s my birthday! i’m an ides of march babe (:” and if someone is like oh what’s that? or if they say something along the lines of oh like julius caesar? i can be like yep!! and even if it’s a small thing outside of tumblr it brings me immense enjoyment and amusement being able to bring it up off of tumblr

3. transportation situation has been very rough since june 2023 when i totalled my car, my gap insurance are being assholes and i ended up putting my foot down on the phone with them yesterday which i’m pretty proud of because i am NOT a confrontational person (something i’ve been working on this past year, so seeing some improvement with my ability to hold my ground and not be a pushover yesterday was very cool!!) i was told i’d get a response from them by friday next week no matter what, and if i don’t then friday of next week i will continue to wreak havoc upon them. but my moms car which i’ve been using since my accident broke down yesterday, hopefully it’s fixable but my parents were saying it might be done for, so trying to think of how i’m gonna get to work next week is kind of stressing me out lmao, but for now i’m just gonna focus on enjoying my birthday the best i can because i don’t want to start off being 24 with an overwhelming anxiety for something that won’t be a potential issue until monday. plus i already messaged my boss today to let her know that i’m going to do everything i can to make it work out but just so she’s in the loop and knows of the potential of me not being able to make my morning shifts (one of my coworkers said she’s more than happy to give me a ride for our afternoon shifts which does help relieve some of the stress!) and i told her i’d let her know for sure sunday so that if necessary she can have time to figure out someone to fill in for me in the mornings!

overall: life is weird and i ended being 23 yesterday with a shitty situation but a positive outlook and i am going to enjoy my first day of being 24 no matter what because honestly i fucking earned it. happy friday everyone, i hope it’s a good day for you and me both!

#aritalks #i did cry a little bit when i first woke up because i dont really know what to do about work and also i hate not having a car i can use #not only because of the work aspect but also getting my license when i was 18 gave me a freedom i didn’t have before #and i don’t like having to rely on other people just to like go to the fucking store or something yk #but then my best friend/roommate messaged me happy birthday and i was like fuck it! today is going to be a good day! #the stressful uncertainties can wait until tomorrow #also one of my best friends who hasn’t said happy birthday to me the past two years #(not intentionally im p sure they were just busy on my birthdays the past two years #and then had that moment of ‘oh shit i didnt send a message fuck i think its too late now’ which i totally get bc anxiety things yk) #was one of the first people to message me happy birthday!! #i’m also hoping to still be able to go see my mom and then stay the night at my dads tonight #so i can see both my parents and also my baby siblings for my birthday #my dads working today but after he texted happy birthday i sent him a text asking if he thinks we could still make it work #my mom is asleep still i think (she called me at midnight and left a voicemail singing happy birthday!! but her sleep schedule has been all #over the place recently so i’m waiting until 11:30 to call her which is in like 30 mins) #but she said something yesterday about driving out to me to give me a hug and also bring me my diabetes stuff that got delivered #(her house is my mailing address because i know it’s not going to change bc it’s my great grandparents house that she’s partially inhereting #when my great grandpa dies but since i have moved out of my dads my address has changed twice and i didnt have a mailbox at my last place so #just for the sake of consistency and not having to worry about important shit getting sent to the wrong address i’ve had her house as my #mailing address since i moved out of my dads at 19) #so i think i’m gonna ask her if she can just pick me up instead so i can go to her house w her and hang out with her #and hopefully my dad will be able to at least stop by with my siblings so i can see them too #i’d like to stay the night with them but if we can’t make it happen then i can also stay the night w my mom and hopefully tomorrow figure #out the car situation. might have to rent a car for a week if i can afford it? best case scenario is my moms car can be fixed but i still #dont know whats wrong with it ik there are two potential problems and one is fixable the other is not #the fixable one would cost like $150-$400 to fix depending on if we get a used part or a new one #if its $150-$200 ish i can probably afford to pay for the whole thing or at least most of it #but if its more than that hopefully my dad or one of my family members can help #and i can just pay them back in like $50 increments with my next few paychecks #just realized i said i wouldnt worry abt the car thing today and also i think im at tag limit to i’ll stop now lmao xoxo gossip girl ❤️

[stunfiskz]

i really love these games a lot but this fandom is so stressful to me

#i dont know if its. i dont know #this is the most stressful and exhausting fandom ive ever been in. i think its partially because its one of the biggest fandoms ive been in #partially because im like. how do i explain this #i generally get attached like this to things that i think are in one way or another majorly flawed. the sort of 'i never said it was good i #said i liked it' thing. and so there while i still worry about characterization i feel so nervous posting anything or even making anything #because i hold these games to such a high standard i guess. and people can be BRUTAL about things they dont like which i think is part of #the big fandom thing. theres just so much ive thought about making but know i probably never will because i Know its probably reading #something wrong or making a connection i shouldnt and its stupid and everyone else is going to think im stupid for it. i never want to anno #people i dont want to be the person that people are avoiding i just hate this feeling. i literally feel like tearing my skin off sometimes #when i post or go into tags because i know that im probably doing this wrong. i dont know #i dont want to let go of these games at all. i love them i love talking about them i love seeing what other people make of them i just feel #like. i dont know.