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#its whatever. im alone and it sucks so bad but its better this way. i know it

shockedemojiatsv · 3 months

Note

MOREEEEE BEN REILLY 🙏🙏🙏 IM BEGGING

▪︎■☆Benny, Baby☆■▪︎

☆ 🔞!!NOT SAFE FOR WORK UNDER THE CUT!!🔞

☆ cis!Ben Reilly / spiderhero!male reader

☆ Drabble and probably OOC

☆ angst and fluff headcanons first

☆ kind of cringe? Maybe? Maybe not? Depends on who's reading it

°○☆happy reading☆○°

☆ his morning voice is so deep but not in a sexy way its more like a funny way. Maybe not overly goofy but he's so loopy since he's still a little sleepy he will make you laugh a little with his voice.

☆ seldomly clumsy. He'll walk through corridors and move his hips to avoid hitting tables and when he miscalculates a move he'll wince in pain, but if you're there he'll try to pretend nothing ever happened.

☆ He's clingy. Like, puppy clingy. He'll never admit it but the next best thing other than working out is holding you. It could be in any kind of context. A fluffy moment, a sad scenario, or something a little more intimate. But don't expect him to get his grabby hands off of your body 24/7 because he just loves to hold you and be there for you.

☆ look at me in the eye and tell me he isn't dramatic. ATSV Scarlet spider here, imagine watching Grave of the Fireflies with this guy. Get your tissues.

☆ His hair is so silky. I'm sure he maintains it well. He's willing to share his own secrets to you so that the two of you are walking around with hair everybody wishes they had. haha.

☆ He's a little bit of a jealous person. Not in a toxic way, per se. But he's a little insecure whenever you spend time laughing and talking with the other spidermen. Usually the Peter's. Ben knows he's a clone. He thinks he's just a copy. He hopes you don't leave him for something more "original".

☆ continuation of the hc above me, he'll try holding your hand whenever you're talking to somebody. Not all the time. Just when he feels uneasy. Just a little reminder to you that he's there. Please don't go.

☆ bad nights aren't common between you two but he'll let his laid back facade fade away and he'll lean on you for comfort. You're his strength. His beacon of light. In a world quite cruel he knows he can rest on your shoulder and recharge his energy just being around you

☆ he loves to work out with you. Definitely. He's your best gym buddy and you'll end up exerting more effort into your routine because of how fun and challenging it is with Ben. He might forget a few basic equipment... so be prepared

☆ I just really like to think that he's a clingy puppy when you two are alone, and small remnants of that desperation for your attention clinging in the air. Hugs and cuddles, thumbs-up. Hand holding and a few kisses, thumbs up. Brushing his face against your chest or vice versa whenever you to get to bed, oh absolutely.

☆ I don't know if he'd be a PDA person, but he definitely would be. He likes showing how much he loves you. Like, every part of you. Your hands, your smile, you're voice, everything. It's like a warm presence that has him forgetting about all of the shit that made him edgy /hj. He'd hold your hand on your arm or your shoulder or whatever. He likes touching you

☆ call him petnames. Any kind as long as if it's a petname. And as long as if it's made by you. That takes the cake. His personal favorite is "Benny baby" because 1, it's adorable, 2, it's catchy.

°○☆ nsfw under the cut ☆○°

☆ He's sloppy. Literally about everything. When you'll kiss him or if he'll kiss you it doesn't matter who takes initiative, he won't hesitate to use his tongue. Sucking your tongue to get a better taste of it. Or kissing your cheek so much it becomes wet in a few minutes. He'll drool like a dog no matter what he does. He'd be ashamed of it at first but when you'll reassure him that it's normal and everybody has their own quirks during sex he won't try to struggle and hide it.

☆ pull his hair. He'd adorably whine and complain. He'd tell you to stop but he doesn't want you to stop. The first time you tried it he was feeling conflicted but he definitely didn't try to stop you the next time around.

☆ he'll probably try to cover his face whenever you fuck him. He's so shy all of the sudden... so when you web/cuff his hands above his head, leaving him powerless to cover his face he pretty much just cums sooner.

☆ if you're somewhere else and he's somewhere private, he'll send you a picture of his abs. Pretty normal. That is until he'll send you even more provocative pictures. That's when you snap and try to finish the errand to get home as soon as possible and fuck him till he goes blind.

☆ PET PLAY‼️‼️‼️ Please please PLEASE treat this man like a horny little mutt. He'll go crazy when you call him puppy or bitch or literally whatever. He's a golden retriever isn't he? Oh he'll melt. Get him a leash too. A pretty collar with your name on it. He'd hide it well away from guests but when you two are alone... he has his fun.

☆ remember what I said about pet play? Oh boy, take it to the next level and he'll go nuts. Literally. Strap him tight on a pet crawler and treat him like a legitimate dog. You probably wouldn't need to touch him for him to cum anymore at that point. Drowning in humiliation to the point where all he could do is whimper for your touch, a command, a word literally anything.

☆ he likes to be degraded. Call him a stupid mutt and tease him about his "rut". How badly he wants to breed/be bred. He'll let out a series of whines and please unless you gag your little puppy. Perhaps if you don't gag him, you can make him woof a little. It's embarrassing. Humiliating but Ben's already past point of clarified thinking.

☆ that doesn't me he isn't a fan of praise! Call him a sweetheart. Your loving little puppy. A good boy. Brush your fingers against his hair and scratch his scalp just right. He'll cum right then and there. Dick frotting against your leg. That is, if you gave him permission. If you spoil him and let him suck your dick while you praise him he'll get drunk. So unbelievably drunk, you'll end up doing most of the work again.

☆ rarely ever a bad boy. He'll follow your orders. And if he's being a brat... well, taming him isn't hard.

☆ if you're going to be bottoming he'll be really soft with it. He'll only go hard if you tell him to. He'll do everything you tell him to do. Go soft? He'll go soft. Move faster? He'll rut inside of you while he sobs out how good you feel around him.

☆ oh my god this man's cum. He definitely cums a lot. Ugagahahh like,,, BROOOOO. Istg. It drops down his dick like thick droplets of pearls and its so filling. Goddamn, doesn't matter if you dom or he does its so much. Please milk him.

☆ oh he has a happy trail. Fuzzy, dirty blonde, well kept ish. He doesn't like to shave it because when it grows back it just gets itchy.

☆ He's a biter. Doesn't matter who's on top. Expect love bites everywhere, anywhere. It feels right to him. In a possessive way. He's yours, your his. Actually, try marking him too. It's hotter that way.

162 notes · View notes

juyeonszn · 5 months

Text

CLUMSY

PAIRING ju haknyeon x f!reader

WORD COUNT 6.03k

GENRES smut ﹒fluff

WARNINGS 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, mature language, reader and juhak are bio lab partners, juhak is lowkey a bit of a loser BUT DW HE REDEEMS HIMSELF, mentions of alcohol, a game of rage cage…, he’s down insanely bad, the flirting goes kinda crazy, someone calls the cops, they run from said cops, reader is Nawt wasting any time, pet names (juhak calls reader princess), tbh they’re both switches in some ways, kitchen sex, oral sex (f!receiving), fingering, edging, unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, creampie lol

SUMMARY when haknyeon ran into you at a tbz party for the first time, he didn’t think he would fall for you so quickly. or literally. or both simultaneously. but there’s a first time for everything, he supposes.

MORE andddddd here we go 🫡 second fic of the black out or back out collab 🙏 i forgot to link the masterlist in the last one so im gonna link it in this one in case u wanna read any of the others!! ANYWAY i had such a fun time writing this one, any excuse i get to write for juhak, i will take trust <3 if u enjoyed, don’t forget to reblog! and pls check out the other fics so far!!

PERM TAGLIST @winterchimez @maessseongs @itsbeeble @zzoguri @deoboyznet @cloverdaisies @vernyangel

TAGLIST @millksea

SERIES MASTERLIST

Okay. So maybe trying to secure a girlfriend at a party wasn’t exactly Haknyeon’s best idea.

But, hey. You had to give him some credit. At least he was making an attempt. Most of his other frat brothers weren’t even making an effort. They seemed perfectly satisfied with charming their ways into random girls’ pants every weekend. Unfortunately, or fortunately considering he was a gentleman, Haknyeon wasn’t into that sort of thing.

It was just a little embarrassing that Kim Sunwoo’s love life had more progress than his own. Sunwoo was literally the resident loser bitch boy of the TBZ house. How was he closer to getting a girlfriend than he was? It made absolutely no sense.

Ju Haknyeon thought of himself as a catch. He was pretty neat, his room was cleaner than most guys’ his age. He knew how to cook basic meals, again, more than the average college sophomore. His car wasn’t on its last leg. (Cough cough… Kim Sunwoo, I’m looking at you.) He was a decent dude. He supported women’s rights and wrongs!

Apparently that was not enough these days.

“…And I need you to make sure the fridge is stocked completely. I’m not trying to drink my coffee without cream tomorrow morning because some idiot drank it while they were drunk.” Sangyeon commands, typing something furiously on his phone as some of the other guys move around the furniture.

“Bruh, I was in charge of buying everything last time. Why can’t someone else do it?” Kevin groans. Something else that wasn’t Haknyeon’s best idea? Walking into the kitchen during this very conversation. “What about JuHak? He looks like he has nothing better to do.”

“Yeah, whatever. That’s fine. Hak, I’m airdropping you the list.” Sangyeon waves his hand in dismissal, returning to his extensive presidential duties.

The sophomore deadpans, but doesn’t have the energy to argue back. You know, the usual fraternity was just a bunch of rich guys with more money than the tuition of each TBZ brother combined. However, the Tau Beta Zeta house was not your usual fraternity. It really was just a bunch of normal dudes thrown together. Though, Lee Sangyeon ran it like it was the fucking Navy.

Haknyeon accepts his defeat and grabs his things, heading out to the supermarket to shop for tonight’s party. Alcohol duty sucked more than door duty, in his opinion. You were sent out all alone, tasked with bringing back enough liquor and beer to last until early hours of the morning. It was a near impossible mission, unless you were Kevin Moon and good at practically everything in the world.

He pushes around the shopping cart mindlessly, though he knows he’ll have to make another trip. A long sigh leaves his lips as he enters the alcohol aisle. He fills the bottom of the cart with different cases of beer until he thinks he may drop one, and then starts to place things in the basket. He feels like a dumbass hauling it over to the registers, like everyone can see right through him.

He has to remind himself that this is for a good cause, that it’ll be worth it when everyone is enjoying themselves at the party. His actions won’t be in vain. Even after the second trip with another cart full of beer and various liquor bottles, Haknyeon keeps repeating affirmations in his head. This has to be the party.

In fact, he thinks his thoughts have manifested into reality when he sees you walking into the grocery store at the same time he’s leaving. You’re his pretty Bio lab partner. He’s always too nervous to hold a substantial conversation with you, so he settles for the bare minimum, which is unfulfilling small talk during your labs. It’s never what he needs though. Aside from your name, Haknyeon knows nothing about you.

“Y/N?” What he wants right now, however, is to shoot himself in the foot for sounding so unsure.

You glance up from your phone, a smile lighting up your face when you recognize him. “Haknyeon! Hey! What’s up?”

“Last minute preparations for the TBZ party tonight,” he gestures at his shopping cart with pursed lips. “You?”

“That’s so funny that you say that! My friends and I are going—“ You eye his cart with confusion. “Wait, I didn’t know you were in Tau Beta Zeta.”

“Yeah…” Haknyeon laughs awkwardly. “Surprise!”

You giggle, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but you don’t seem like the frat boy type. Then again, TBZ isn’t your average frat so, I guess that kinda adds up.”

Haknyeon’s not sure if he should take that as a compliment or not, but since it’s coming from you, he decides that he will. The realization that you mentioned you’d be attending the party finally sets in at that same moment. “So, I’ll see you later, then?”

You nod, smile widening. “Yeah, I’m just grabbing a bottle for us to bring with. But I’ll be there. Maybe we’ll bump into each other.”

God, he hopes so. This is the perfect opportunity for him to swoop in and learn everything he’s been dying to know about you. His tongue pokes the inside of his cheek. “I don’t know… I’m a busy man. It might be a little hard.”

That cute little laugh of yours makes another appearance. “I’ll be on the lookout, don’t worry. See you tonight, Haknyeon.”

Ju Haknyeon thinks that he must’ve done something monumental in a past life, like saving a dog from a burning building or stopping a world war. How else would the universe reward him this kindly? All he can do is wave as you maneuver around an elderly couple passing by into the store.

Maybe Kevin Moon wasn’t that bad. And maybe Lee Sangyeon wasn’t as big of a tyrant as he made him out to be. He could actually kiss the ground they walked on for forcing him into alcohol duty. If it weren’t for them, he wouldn’t have ran into you and he wouldn’t have known you were attending the party. Now he has something to look forward to that isn't getting shitfaced.

“What the hell are you wearing?”

Haknyeon looks away from his mirror, Hyunjae standing in the doorway. He has a cringe on his face at the sight of his outfit. It wasn’t the worst thing he’s ever worn, but it was… a bit too much. A black button up and black slacks was admittedly not the best frat party fit. The only good thing he had going for him was his hair that was styled for once, parted so his bangs framed his face nicely.

“This girl I’m kinda into is coming tonight. I need to look irresistible.” The younger explains, arms flailing at his sides.

“Okay, well you won’t accomplish that in this,” Hyunjae snorts, digging through his closet. “If she’s into you too, she won’t care what you’re wearing. Just throw on something you’d normally wear. Like… this! This is nice.”

Hyunjae holds up a black t-shirt and a black-washed denim jacket. Haknyeon hums. It was simple, but also once he put it on he wouldn’t feel like a douchebag, which was the whole goal here. Paired with some khaki cargo pants, he’s found a winner. He begrudgingly thanks his senior for the assistance, shooing him out of his bedroom so he can mentally prepare for the night ahead of him.

He doesn’t even know what to bring up now that he really tosses the idea around in his head. Yeah, he wants to learn more about you and what you’re like outside of your Bio lab, but specifically what he couldn’t say. Haknyeon was starting to feel like a lost cause. He had to clutch up tonight. He had to woo you so much that you had no choice but to fall for his cute face and endearing personality. But how was he meant to do that if he couldn’t even come up with topics to talk with you about?

Maybe he was just thinking too far into things. Perhaps he should just let it all go with the flow. Moving at an au natural pace was probably his best bet in comparison to Sunwoo’s soccer ball plan. (He’s still confused how that worked in his favor.)

Before he knows it, the party is swinging into full effect. This is the first time Haknyeon’s ever been so socially aware of his surroundings. He had a habit of blurring his atmosphere at these things, more interested in getting drunk with his buddies than paying attention to the attendees. As he stands in a corner of the living room, listening to Chanhee complain about treasurer stuff, he watches each and every person who enters the house.

When you finally do walk in, he has to physically stop himself from choking on the beer in his cup, biting the rim of the plastic in a weak attempt to sedate himself. If he thought you were gorgeous before in a pair of leggings and a sweatshirt, he doesn’t know what to call you now. You’re laughing at something one of your friends said, dolled up in a black mini skirt and a black cropped halter top while hugging a bottle of Pink Whitney to your chest. He could probably pass out right here right now.

He almost does, but then Chanhee is slapping his back aggressively. “Wipe the drool off of your chin. God, am I the only one who still has a brain?”

“Shut the fuck up, Chanhee, go cry about your life somewhere else.” Haknyeon dismisses his senior, downing the rest of his drink for some liquid courage. Though he is, he doesn’t want to seem too desperate, so he’s not going up to you this quickly. Instead, he heads into the kitchen to get another drink, rolling his neck like he’s preparing for the biggest win of the century.

It’s as he’s pouring some jungle juice into a fresh cup that you see him. A smile similar to the one from the store graces your features. There was only one person with a back like that, and it was your cute lab partner. You keep an arm wrapped around your bottle, tapping his shoulder lightly. He spins around confusedly, but the expression morphs into pleasant surprise immediately after.

“Pink Whitney? Easy choice,” he points at the bottle in your grasp. “Are you a lightweight, Y/N?”

Your cheeks warm up at the teasing remark. Upon first meeting, Haknyeon’s been an awkward mess around you. You can only assume the confidence stems from the fact that he’s within his element. “That’s for me to know, and you to find out.”

“If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were implying that you want me to get you drunk.” He tucks a hand into one of his jacket pockets, the other bringing his cup to his mouth. He’s unconscious of the source of this sudden bravery, but he prays it doesn’t fade off anytime soon.

“Maybe I do…” You bite your lip, undoing the seal of the Pink Whitney bottle to take a sip. It burns your throat slightly. “I’ve never hung out with a frat boy before. I kinda wanna see what the hype is all about.”

Haknyeon thinks he might pass out again, because if he wasn’t so acutely aware of your entire interaction, he would think you’re flirting with him. Friendliness was a double edged sword in this day and age. But who knows, maybe you are flirting. You showed up with your friends but they were nowhere to be found now. He needed to take advantage of the opening.

It’s around this time that Younghoon and Juyeon are bringing out the fated beer pong table, a crowd already beginning to form nearby. He feels sorry for the poor suckers who have to play Changmin and his girlfriend.

“We should play beer pong!” You suggest, watching the pair of taller guys setting up the cups over his shoulder. Haknyeon can sense the color draining from his face. If it had been anyone else, he would’ve shut the idea down insanely fast, but because it was you, he was genuinely contemplating. Those who went up against the infamous TBZ party beer pong champions were in for a rude awakening, but if you wanted to...

“Uh—“ He starts but then he’s interrupted.

“Yo! Who’s down to play Rage Cage?!”

Juyeon’s voice is somehow louder than the music, carrying into the kitchen where the two of you stand. Haknyeon wasn’t the greatest Rage Cage player, but he enjoyed it a hell of a lot more than beer pong. Especially when he stood beside people who didn’t understand the concept of the game.

You chug some more Pink Whitney, batting your eyelashes up at Haknyeon. “I’ve never played Rage Cage. Is it fun?”

“If you’re next to the right people it can be, but if you aren’t, then it’s a whole lot of drinking. We haven’t played Rage Cage at a TBZ party in a while, but the last time we did Eric Sohn almost had to get his stomach pumped.” He laughs a little at the memory of his friend spending the rest of his night cuddling with a toilet seat. The mental picture overshadows how enticing you look right now.

“Do you think you can teach me?” You ask sweetly, hoping that he takes the hint. He seemed like the type of guy who wouldn’t make the first move unless you forced him to, so it appeared that you had your work cut out for you.

“You wanna play?” He turns to you with wide eyes, almost as if he hadn’t expected you to show interest in the game. You give him a small nod, tucking some hair behind your ear. The truth of the matter was that you were a fucking liar. You’ve played Rage Cage plenty of times in the past. You were actually pretty decent at it, too. You just needed an excuse to spend the night around him.

“We better head over there now. It looks like the table is filling up.” You jab your pinkie in that general direction. Haknyeon blows a raspberry and leads you that way, his hand resting on the small of your back so he won’t lose you in the pack of people surrounding the table.

“Forewarning, my rap sheet doesn’t really read World Class Rage Cage Champ,” he laughs nervously, the anxiety beginning to eat at him all over again. “But I promise, I won’t let you get stacked.”

When Haknyeon said he wasn’t the worst, but wasn’t good at Rage Cage, you took his word. Except he severely overplayed his own skill. Maybe he was just extremely on edge and it threw off his game, but the amount of times he was stacked on was a little comical. At the very least, he kept his promise. You hadn’t got stacked once, but that was also only because Haknyeon would drink for you every time you almost did.

The room is sort of spinning by the time the first game has finished. Playing a drinking game while he’s trying to get to know you better was probably at the higher portion of his ‘BAD IDEAS!!!’ list. If he wasn’t so eager to please and followed along to each of your suggestions, perhaps he’d be having a different conversation. That was not the case, though.

You can’t help but feel a little guilty for the turn out. All you’d wanted was to flirt with your lab partner, possibly end the night with some making out. As it was looking, that’s not the path you were heading down, but rather towards the kitchen for some water to sober him up some. Your bottle of Pink Whitney is long lost, replaced with a bottle of H2O. You hold his chin, tilting it back slightly to pour some into his mouth.

If he hadn’t already had the fattest crush on you, he definitely did now. Pretty and nice? You were the total package. Here you were, nursing him back to sobriety when you could’ve been out and about enjoying yourself with your friends. Up this close, he gets a detailed look at you. It’s so weird for him to think about how much he’s pined after you since the start of the semester, how much he’s admired the face that’s looking at him with this unfamiliar tenderness. He never thought he stood a chance. You know, that whole ‘nice guys finish last’ pick me boy vibe.

“Y/N—” He’s cut short, Juyeon’s voluminous voice resonating throughout the house again, sans the music.

“Everybody who isn’t Tau Beta Zeta, get the fuck out! Someone called the cops!”

Of course. Nobody ever calls the cops on a TBZ party but of fucking course the one time Haknyeon gets shoot his shot with you, someone narcs. He actually thinks he might die. He might keel over and die in the middle of this party while the cops are raiding the place. Lee Sangyeon is gonna be thrown in the back of a police cruiser for letting people drink underage and then send them his way because he bought all of the alcohol. This was just his luck.

Without a word, you grab his hand and drag him out through the back door. You follow the flock of other party goers escaping the wrath of the police. It’s difficult to run in a mini skirt and strappy heels, but you don’t really have room to whine about it. Haknyeon doesn’t know if there’s ever a right time to tell you that you could’ve just gone up to his room, but figures it’s too late when you're hopping the short fence that goes out to the main street of Greek Row.

One would think that he’d sobered up at this point since he was, you know, on the run from the law. Yet for some reason Ju Haknyeon himself doesn’t even know, he’s still feeling the effects of the alcohol, tripping over that stupid fucking fence and falling flat on his face. Thankfully, he lands on the grassy part just before the sidewalk, but it doesn’t make the situation any less embarrassing.

You don’t give him recovery time, pulling him to his feet. He holds a hand to the side of his face that received the harshest of the impact, expecting to wake up to a nasty bruise tomorrow. He’s also unsure where exactly you’re taking him, but is afraid of asking out of fear that you’ll send his ass back to the frat house and have him arrested or something. (He had a bad habit of over complicating situations and coming up with the worst possible scenarios.)

Once the commotion has died out and there’s no one else around, you slow your pace. You turn to face him with a grin, holding both of his hands in yours as you walk backwards. “Are you cool with staying the night at my place?”

Truly, Haknyeon needs to know what act of nobility he committed in his previous life. He needs to go back in time and thank himself for whatever it was. Even with fumble after fumble, he was somehow bouncing back and receiving major compensation for sticking it out. He swallows thickly, nodding dumbly when he realizes he hasn’t given you a proper response.

“Um… Yeah— I mean— yes. That’s fine. That’s totally fine.” He word-vomits, stumbling over his tongue rather than his feet. Being down bad was one of his strongest personality traits. And being clumsy was second strongest, so you don't even have to imagine how terrible a combination of both would be.

The walk to your apartment knocks any lingering inebriation out of his system. He’s entirely too hyper aware of what’s happening as you guide him in that direction. It’s cooler out, the temperature dropping in the nighttime as the end of the semester approaches. If there was another reason to be grateful for this party, it was because he no longer had to worry about not making a move before your last lab together. As much as he despised Biology, he’d take it every day if it meant getting to see you.

He actually feels like he may throw up as you reach your place, his hands sticking into the pockets of his jacket to hide the clamminess of his palms. His nerves are creeping up on him once more, a dark cloud looming over him. He shouldn’t be this jumpy at this point of the night. He should be composed, prepared to sweep you off your feet after spending so much time with you. Why the hell is he sweating bullets right now?

“Welcome to my humble abode,” you curtsy. “Would you like something to drink? Water, maybe?”

“Th-That would be great,” Haknyeon forces out, waddling behind you into the kitchen like a baby duckling following its mother. “You have a nice apartment.”

“Really? Thank you!” You can’t help but giggle at his jitters and the way he keeps rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet. A sense of déjà vu rushes over you when you pass him a cup. “Living alone has its perks, I guess. I like that I don’t have to argue with anyone about how to decorate and things like that.”

“It sounds a lot more enjoyable than living with a bunch of men in their early twenties,” he smiles weakly as he accepts the glass of water from you. “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to how thin the walls are in that house.”

“Do they have sex often?” You ask him bluntly, head cocking to the side almost innocently. He chokes on the water he just sipped, nearly spilling it onto the floor.

“W-What?” He sputters.

“I’m assuming that’s what you’re talking about,” you shrug, facing away from him so you can grab yourself something to drink, also. “We should get back at them.”

You don’t know how many more bones you can throw for him to understand what you're insinuating. Even the frat boy comment you made earlier was intentional. Haknyeon’s mouth goes dry and his eyes widen like a cartoon character’s. What the fuck?

“I’ve never brought a girl back to the house before, because I don’t want them to make fun of me or something— not that I’m saying I would take you back to the house! I mean I just would feel bad if you also got made fun of— not that I’m referring to having sex with you or anything!” The glass in his hands is on the verge of slipping from his grip. “Not that I don’t want to have sex with you— oh my god— um wow, that’s a very lovely fruit bowl you have there I—“

“Hak,” you interject his rambling, wearing a mischievous smile.

The nickname drives him fucking insane. Scratch him possibly dying. If he isn’t dead by the end of the night, he’ll be shocked. Perplexed. Perturbed. Puzzled. Any shock-adjacent synonym you can think of. That will be him. “Y-Yes?”

“Can you shut up and kiss me already?”

Honestly, you don’t have to ask him twice. His lips are on yours in seconds, fingers fisting the material of your skirt at your hips to steel himself. You moan in response to the sheer frenzy behind his actions. It’s so easy to lose yourself in the haste of it; the way you tug at his hair, the blunt edges of his nails digging into your sides, the near clashing of your teeth. He nibbles at your bottom lip, sighing when you allow his tongue to permeate your mouth. He’s content to do nothing but this, kissing you is enough to satiate the desire he’s harbored for you for months. However, with the franticness of your kiss, he knows you want more.

He inches you both backwards until your lower back hits the counter, and then he’s cupping beneath your thighs to hoist you up. His strength sends tidal waves pulsing throughout your whole being, hurriedly pushing the material of his denim jacket off of his shoulders and letting it fall to the floor without a care. Your hands travel south as his lips trail along your jaw and neck, sucking and biting your supple skin wherever he feels fit. He hisses into the dip where your collarbone meets your shoulder when you palm him through his pants.

“Fuck, babe, you want me bad, don’t you?” He mutters into the column of your throat, teeth sinking into the flesh after.

“Mhmm,” you whine, craning your neck to give him more access to the surface. It’s like a switch has flipped in him and it turns you on unbearably. This is what you’ve been trying to coax out of him all night.

Haknyeon pries apart your legs, slotting himself between them so he can sneak his fingers beneath your skirt. His thumb rubs tight circles into your clothed clit, the lace of your underwear damp with your arousal. He connects your lips again, groaning into your kiss when he moves the fabric aside and slides his knuckle through your folds. You buck up your hips, whimpering when he holds them down with his forearm.

“Want more,” you gasp when he applies a bit of pressure to your sensitive bundle of nerves.

“‘More’ what? Use your words, princess,” he instructs, tracing your entrance with his ring finger.

You shake your head because you’re not even sure what it is that you want. You just know that this isn’t enough to quell the hunger burning at your chest. It’s not nearly sufficient to fan the flames in the depths of your heart or the ache in the pit of your abdomen. You need him everywhere. It’s beyond him being your cute Bio lab partner now.

He urges you onto your elbows, pecking the plane of your stomach. He pushes up your skirt and discards your panties, baring you to the cool air of your apartment. Your eyes flutter shut when he kisses your clit gently. Your head is light and airy and it’s like you’re on cloud nine. Haknyeon hums against you, pulling off to scold you.

“Eyes open, baby,” he nudges his nose on your pelvic bone. “Want you to watch me eat you out.”

The moan you release is strained, like it had been confined in the back of your throat for ages until this moment. He flattens his tongue and licks a line from your hole to your clit, suckling the engorged skin and repeating. Your eyelids are heavy, keeping your intense gaze on him as he all but makes out with your pussy. He focuses his mouth on your clit and slips his middle finger into you. He pumps it in and out languidly, setting a rhythm that matches each swirl of his tongue around your clit.

The whole scene still feels unreal to both of you, like you might wake up from a wet dream or something. How was it possible that Ju Haknyeon was finger fucking you on your kitchen counter? Just a couple days ago, you were sitting side by side in your Biology lab, too nervous to initiate a substantial conversation. You’d think it would be harder to slob on someone’s knob than it would be to talk to them while wearing a fuckass lab coat and goggles.

Haknyeon works his forearm up, pinning down your thighs so your cunt is fully accessible. He adds a second finger to the mix, thrusting them at a higher speed and increasing the unrelenting sucking of your bundle of nerves. He can tell you’re creeping closer towards your climax with the way your walls clench around him and your hips continue to jerk up. And considering the kind of person he was, you figured he would aid you rather than hinder you. But you figured wrong.

He slows his assault, removing his mouth from your clit and leaving the stimulation at just his two fingers. You whine, lip quivering when he looks up into your eyes.

“W-Why are you— what are you doing?” You plead, hating the tone of your voice. The tables have turned, with you sitting beside desperation. This is so unlike you— so unlike the usual domineering aura you exude during sex— your body reacting differently to the power falling through the cracks within your grasp.

“Don’t you wanna savor the moment, princess?” He sounds so cocky, a far cry from the wavering confidence you’d always seen out of him. He kisses the skin of your inner thighs, moving closer and closer to the area you need him most, all the while he continues curling and uncurling his fingers.

The precipice of your orgasm is right there, you can almost taste it on the tip of your tongue. But Haknyeon holds it just out of reach, dangling it in your face like teasing a dog with a chew toy. Tears prick at the corner of your eyes, a false sense of hedonism building and building, then slowly ebbing away each time he retracts. You open your mouth, but no sound comes out.

Just when you’ve given up hope, he adds a third finger and wraps his lips around your clit, sucking harshly. The sudden and unexpected intrusion snaps that familiar cord in half, blinding you with white hot pleasure. The groan that escapes from the base of your chest is guttural, echoing throughout the kitchen. You don’t have it in you to worry about waking your neighbors, especially not when you feel the curve of a smile against your cunt, such an uncharacteristic response from Haknyeon.

Your legs spasm as the height of your orgasm calms. You pull him down for a wanton kiss, tangling your fingers in his hair. He laughs at the role swap, hands flat on the counter to hold him over you. “Feel good?”

“So good, Hak,” you murmur into his lips. “Think you can fuck me like that next?”

“So impatient,” he snickers, pecking along your jaw once more. “But since you’ve been so good for me, I think it’s only fair that I return the favor.”

You clumsily undo the button and zipper of his cargoes, pushing them down with your foot. He steps out of them and kicks them away while simultaneously removing his t-shirt. You take your top off and shimmy out of your skirt, raising an eyebrow at the narrowed look in his eyes. “What?”

“Do you have a condom?”

“No,” you poke your cheek with your tongue. “But, I don’t care if you wear one. I’d rather feel you raw, anyway.”

His forehead drops to your shoulder. “God, you’re killing me. Okay.”

He shoves down his briefs and you have to stop yourself from gawking at his size. While he wasn’t the biggest, he was definitely bigger than anyone else you’ve ever been with. He pumps himself a couple times, guiding his length to your entrance and throwing his head back when the tip presses into you. This was really happening, holy shit. Ju Haknyeon was actually having sex with you.

Your toes curl and you stab your nails into your palms to distract from the stinging stretch. He eases into you with the occasional grunt, minding your expressions for any signs of discomfort. When all he sees is your features contorted to display pleasure, he resumes. By the time he’s bottomed out completely, both of you are moaning messes. You feel so full, stuffed to the brim with the weight of his cock.

“I’ve wanted to be inside of you for so fucking long,” he admits, speaking the words into your sticky skin as he drags himself out only to piston back in. The action throttles you a bit, your eyes tempted to roll to the back of your head from how fucking good it feels. You can’t conjure coherent thoughts to properly convey how many endorphins are coursing through your veins.

Haknyeon sets a pace that combines the perfect amount of speed and depth, the tip of his cock brushing that spot deep in your cunt. Your brain is hazy and your vision blurs, hardly able to see anything in front of you. His mouth attaches to the pulse point on your neck, ensuring he bruises the area.

“Y-You’re— fuck— you’re s-so deep, Hak. I can feel you all over,” you wail, bringing one of his hands to tamp your lower stomach. The pressure contributes to the growing tension of your second orgasm, something you know will collide into you with even more exertion than the first.

“Yeah? You’re taking me s-so well, baby. No one else has ever fucked you this good, right?” Sweat beads on his hairline, dripping down his temples with every thrust of his hips and every drive of his cock into your sweet pussy. Even if he really did somehow manage to die tonight, he could do it with integrity. He could go out with the honor of a fallen soldier knowing that he got to experience this at least once in his life.

He hikes one of your knees up to your chest, burying his dick deeper if humanly possible. You arch your back, pushing into his chest to minimize the space between you, antsy at the promise of another release as mind blowing as the last. He brings you to the edge of the counter so you’re now hip to hip. Haknyeon snakes a hand in the middle of your bodies, using his thumb to rub circles into your clit. That stimulation coupled with the depth of his cock encourages the fluttering of your walls, in turn drawing out the state of bliss you’ve been chasing.

Your vision goes blank, stars painting the behinds of your eyelids. A second orgasm crests upon you and evokes a moan so pornographic, it sounds far away from you. It’s a dreamlike euphoria, an almost out of body experience that puts every other orgasm to shame. The surface of your skin is hot to the touch.

“Where do you want me, princess?” Haknyeon asks breathily. In the calamity of your own release, you nearly forgot about his until you register the twitching inside of you. It pauses the static in your ears, returning the volume of the world to its normality.

“Cum inside of me,” you whine, the overstimulation becoming too much to handle. He doesn’t need to be told another time, grip tightening on your thigh as he spills into your cunt.

The two of you stay still for a moment, allowing clarity to flow into your brains. You wince when he finally has half the mind to pull out, his nose scrunching up at the sensitivity. He slides his underwear back on, extremely conscious of how naked he is right now. He has an inkling that you were anticipating that this would happen, because why else would you ask him to stay over tonight? But, he is the Ju Haknyeon that you’ve sat next to this entire semester in your Biology lab. So he couldn’t just march forward without a little overthinking and self deprecation.

“Do you still want me to stay?” His voice has reverted back to that small, unsure tone. You sit up quickly, alarmed by the twinge of disappointment underneath it.

“Of course, I do,” you pout, kissing his cheek and lacing your fingers together. “I’ve had a crush on you since the beginning of the year, Hak. Sure, maybe I skipped a couple steps in between, but I have wanted this so badly— I have wanted you so badly— for you don’t even know how long.”

He chuckles, tucking some hair behind your ear. He leaves a sweet kiss on your lips, softer and gentler than the ones from earlier that night. He’s intentional with the way he glides them in harmony, like he was following the melody of the most beautiful song. “Oh trust me, I think I have an idea.”

#deoboyznet #the boyz #the boyz x reader #the boyz smut #tbz #tbz x reader #tbz smut #the boyz haknyeon #tbz haknyeon #ju haknyeon x reader #ju haknyeon smut #haknyeon x reader #haknyeon smut #juyeonszn #blackoutorbackout🍻

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jewish-vents · 1 month

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its so bad to the point that i cant talk to goyim anymore, i just cant trust them whatsoever. but my therapist is a goy and a few weeks ago i tried to say that i was scared to go to more punk shows because of rampant antisemitism and she basically said that i was just paranoid and that it doesnt matter anyways. so obviously i walked out. but since then i cant talk to her i cant forget about everything that goyim have done to break me these past few months and i cant trust her to talk even about normal stuff. i still go i just sit there in silence while she talks at me for an hour. last week she asked me if someone did something to make me shut down like this and i was just thinking "yeah, my friend was murdered in october and i lost all my irl friends after i saw them cheering on the people who murdered him and i get people telling me almost everyday that hitler shouldve finished the job" but i just stayed silent because i know she'll probably agree with them. when my mum woke me up to take me today i started crying and hyperventilating because im so scared. its really bad because i need her to help get on the diability benefit, i cant work because im disabled and i cant get the benefit alone because my disabilities stop me from going to the meetings and making the phone calls and my brother said im a waste of resources and contribute nothing to society and i cant leave my house because im scared i'll get killed for being jewish

I'm sorry but your therapist sounds like a crappy therapist. It sucks that you need her. You're not a waste of resources and you can contribute to society, but one way or another you have inherent worth that is completely independent from what you can give others. And you have experienced quite a significant bit of trauma, and maybe more things you haven't even mentioned here. You're allowed to feel sad and upset and even angry.

When you need it, you can always come here scream and cry and talk and whatever you want (within the rules, of course). We're not going to judge you and you don't even need to make sense. Just let it out.

Best of luck and I hope it gets better for you

#jewish vents #antisemitism #leftist antisemitism #trauma #mental health #mentions of violence

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confessions-official · 1 month

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i feel like im so fundamentally different from everyone else. not in a "quirky omg not like other girls!!" way or whatever or in an edgy teenager way, not like there's anything wrong wiht that we all have our phases but. i've been called weird and strange and odd and every synonym of the words above a million times over my entire life and i've tried so hard to be like everyone else. i've tried time and time again and every single time i just come off as more weird or too much or too little or just too something. i just don't think i can anymore, i give up at this rate. but i've tried so many times. at this rate i just come off as intimidating and i think i'm done trying because it's better than coming off as awkward i guess. im kind of stuck in an infinite loop because i can only be around folks ive known for years to actually feel like i can exist without having to be somebody im not. i cant meet new people because im unapproachable, i hate being approached, and i cant approach people. i cant keep conversations going with folks i dont know or make small talk or greet them or whatever. im completely inapplicable to what most people consider a normal conversation. im generally just so outcast from everybody else and i can't figure out why. i try to observe people and i read article after article and try to look at their vocab and body language n whatnot but i just cant do it right. its like im missing one little piece of it and maybe that's it being natural but it's not like i can do that. i can't just "be myself" either, i've tried and it didn't work out for the better. i'm not a particularly bad person either, nobody's ever come to me to talk about anything of the sort like that and if i had hurt them in some way i apologized and quit doing x thing. i try literally so hard. i fight so desperately and yet all i get over and over nowadays is just "youre scary lol" or something of the sort. it's either that or the same old same old of being considered odd n whatnot. i dont know why but i cant fix it. it's not even my fault but its like im just somehow completely wrong or unacceptable or something. i think i give up on trying. i kind of expect im going to end up alone at some point if i lose like the one person im actually comfortable around but if the only way to get people to like me is to desperately attempt to be someone im not for the millionth time im not going to do that. this is frustrating and annoying and exhausting and i just cant deal with the constant repeats anymore. whats the point in trying to meet new people if they all act the same way about me and never tell me why i come across so out of place. this sucks. i dont know what im expected to do anymore

#confession

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skeletood · 1 year

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OHHHHH SO MANY THOUGHTS TO SHARE

Holy shit. Probably the hardest I’ve laughed at any of the new seasons releases so far. Absolutely speechless

Hellhole:

- SOOOOO HAPPY to see them riff again it’s so corny and silly

- Beavis gets to hell and his first thought is where all the biker dudes are? interesting interesting *puts this in my notes

-oh my god already some amazing facial expressions

no wonder this dude ends up with so many cracked teeth in the future

- the boys being inexplicably immune to death never gets old to me

- THE DARKNESS PART HAD MY HEAD IN MY HANDS SHUT UP. THANK **GOD** IT WASN’T ANOTHER ESCAPED SNAKE SITUATION DEAR GOD IVE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER FOR A BAIT AND SWITCH

-hehe :] sillies

Overall thoughts: Another great ep this season good job guys, gave me a lot of good little laughs

The video segment was whatever but Arianna’s eye candy so like. All good :]

Take A Bow:

My god. I had absolutely no idea what was going to happen on the way in to this episode and I was NOT prepared for what it gave me and put me through

- already starting the ep strong with some GREAT facial expressions

so fucking real i used to do this to my guy friends when i was their age. not quite enough to put them in the hospital but like. yea lmao

- (monotone) “Take a bow” HAD ME DYINNNNGGGGG

- knowing about all the flavors of mountain dew what a goddamn nerd (knows everything about the different monster flavors)

- “Cherries don’t taste red at ALL. They taste all barfy” little kids complaining about foods they dont like is so silly, thank you for being your childish self its so refreshing

oh man. fuck. its butthead characterization time! finally some good fucking food. oh man here come the waterworks IMAGINE me getting stupid over an emotionally stunted idiot with a big head:

- “not until youre better beavis” first of all shut up. second of all shut up.

- “It’s like, I didn’t mean to hurt him. Feeling bad sucks.” WE KNOW BABY. WE KNOW. SO PROUD OF YOU FOR ADMITTING IT HUN :((((( the fact that bro cant even acknowledge he HAS feelings unless he’s alone. the volumes that speaks to me. man

if you had told me a week ago these were real screenoshots i wouldnt have believed you. at all. cant wait to see the looks on the faces of all the “ohh stop looking so far into it its just a stupid lowbrow cartoon” people like shut the fuck up!!!!! youve clearly never experienced real friendship before and are so pissed off cause u dont know what it looks like

- not pictured here is where they had to forcefully remove butthead from the room bc he was freaking out after thinking he killed beavis. If you disagree youre just wrong sorry!

- not only is this a funny as hell angle but man. we already know damn well he doesn’t want beavis to die but its nice to hear him say it. also he’s right, it was really funny. take a bow :]

- a lot of really good beavis screams this episode too

- BOY. HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT “COVID” IS. MR JUDGE IM STRIKING THAT FROM THE RECORDS BUT YOURE ON THIN FUCKING ICE AKJSDSNA

- “-and his friend would have died of grief shortly there-after” I’m- I need a minute. LIKE WE ALREADY KNEW THIS BUT. THANKS FOR ADMITTING IT.

- also, god is a whiteman i guess kasjndsajkd

In conclusion: both fucking great episodes. I am always EXTRA excited for Butt-Head characterization moments, it just makes him so much more human. Not to mention how happy I am to see that they toned down his cruelty JUST a touch. I honestly didn’t notice how bad it had gotten last season until i compared it to how this one is going so far, it feels more like older seasons butthead again :] Like dont get me wrong i LOVE it when he’s mean its just who he is but it should come more out of a place of stupidity/no real self awareness than like. idk wherever it was coming from last season. These boys are goin soft on us and to that i say: thank god. It’s nice to see them act human. Take a bow has EASILY taken old man beavis’ place as my favorite ep so far and ngl its going to be tough to beat. Funny episode that had me chuckling throughout the whole thing AND nice Butt-Head moments? Oh Mike, you shouldnt have u///u

Anyways lemme know your thoughts :]

#bnb spoiler tag #skeletalk #AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #basically is what i got from these new eps

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percyjacksonscookies · 4 months

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dude imma say it

the percy jackson tv show sucks so bad

and I have a lot of time to think at work when im not busy with my little tasks so imma rant about it

because my little brain likes to look for connections i guess

anyway

IT SUCKS SOOOOOO BAAAAAAD HOLY

S H I T

its a giant mix of things because of where we are in time

every major piece of media is a huge reflection of the times we live in so uh

it makes sense that this would suck too like every single other piece of media disney has released in the past decadeish (it comes down to taste so if u like a Disney thing, whatever)

but like?!?!

because of the times we live in where writers had to strike for better wages and a semblance of recognition (i dont know the terms exactly) it makes sense that they gave ol' Ricky boy a shot at screen writing cause they didn't really have to take a chance with a new writer. cause u know disney! wherever there are corners to be cut they will! gotta think of the poor ol' bottom line!!

BUT ALSO RICK RIORDAN'S QUALITY IN WRITING WENT DOWN S O HARD AFTER HIS FIRST SERIES WITH PERCY

heroes of Olympus and trials of Apollo do not have the same flavor as the original series and I know plenty of people will agree with me

and thats cause ol' ricky boy (might call him uncle rick ironically cause I have a big family so its in character of me to have beef with an uncle plus like.... cmon its for the bit, an homage to my cringey younger self, and to help me avoid stupid autocorrect on my phone, it works on so many levels, if u must, cringe away) lost the fucking heart of the original series

lost the whole point and charm of the 1st series

it started out as a fucking bed time story for his son for fucks sake!!!!!! so obviously it was going to be a story built on so much love you could feel it in every word he carefully knit together for his son to feel less alone in the world

and thats why I looked up to him for so many years!!!!

he inspired me to start writing!!! so that maybe some day I could also write stories that helped people feel less alone

because the best fucking stories are the ones with the most heart and genuine emotions you feel like you could be there

but uncle rick fucking lost it because i think after the massive success of his first series he saw it as a way to make money for his family instead of a way to lovingly craft something for the sake of it just existing

yet another thing capitalism has taken from us

I have yet to read his other work, as an adult, because percy jackson is such a comfort book for me and I've obsessively done so much research on it I remember him doing an interview once where he said his students found his other works and they were teasing him about the cuss words in the book because of course they were he taught middle schoolers and that is where he is stronger than I

but thats also another thing

since I haven't read his other works, I dont know if they're going to speak to me like percy jackson has, but probably not from the looks of his other series (ive read all of heroes of Olympus and some of trials of Apollo but thats just cause I adore nico)

but I can definitely say for sure without a shadow of a doubt

dude

uncle rick is NOT a screen writer

he SUCKS at it so bad

he definitely doesn't know how to build suspense in film or write around the obstacles that come with live acting

which is embarrassing man

ive been there

did a senior directed play in high school, wrote the script myself

and it sucked pretty bad

because I was a story teller not a script writer!!!! I didnt know what the fuck i was doing!!!!! whenever I wanted a new character I would just invent one out of thin air, what do you mean I had to have an actor for every new character I have?!?!?!?!

soooo grateful i tried that for the first time in high school cause its not that embarrassing when u suck at something as a teenager cause hey!!! ur learning new shit everyday!!

but this ties back into my point of this show reflecting the times

I will say, I prefer the movie of percy jackson over this weird show

and thats cause it had charm! zest! a screenwriter and people that knew how to make movies!

were at such a weird place in cinema

at least in the mainstream american/western media

I saw everything everywhere all at once last year and it blew my tits clean off

but thats because it was made by people who wanted to make art for arts sake!!!! for the love of creation!!!!!

thats why those movies are so successful now

cause there's really no formula to follow anymore so anything that seems original and made with love is so fucking insanely successful and big corporations can't fucking replicate that without taking chances and letting people tell honest earnest stories

which is why every Disney villain sucks now cause they have to also secretly maybe sometimes be a good person

oh no the circumstances they were given made them a villain

hmmm I wonder who helped with the capitalism of it all?? hmmmm such a mystery

I know we all miss when villains were just evil for fun and that was it

like Ursula, they didn't explain shit about her backstory she was just a woman in a cave that had a reputation and had a sick as hell design and that was all people needed to like her (shout out to divine) (also I don't remember much about the little mermaid I am basing this off of vibes)

where was i going with this.....

anyways the pjo TV show sucks

let Rick Riordan cook longer as a screen writer or let him be a co author of the script my god he sucks at this

get an expert screen writer in there asap phew!!!

today's adhd rant has been brought to you by:

this thing

#pjo #i have so muvh to say but im gonna stop #this is a monster of a post #this is definitely my longest post on tumblr and i am Afraid but percy jackson makes me want to talk forever so whatever #i dont have any percy jackson friends so my followers must endure sorry everyone #kinda #i did start out as a pjo blog and branched out but i never really stopped lmao #never shared my thoughts on here though so this is new #time to shout into the void of the internet #my schtuff

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nerves-nebula · 1 year

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Same thing happened to me. Different circumstances, but yeah it is super painful. My mom didn't tell me what I period was until I got it for the first time, and I wasn't even with her. I was at my grandmother's house and had to learn what they were from her, my mom only explained it to me after.

She also hasn't taught me hygiene either. I know the basics of course, the really obvious ones that are easy to do. Anything else? Hell if I know. I don't even know how to properly wash my hair, I have dandruff constantly. She complains about it, but she sure as hell isn't gonna teach me how.

Anyways, I wanted to write this to tell you that you aren't alone. This shit is incredibly common, for whatever reason. It sucks, but my advice is to just try. Focus on the now, and just try your best. Tacky advice, I know, but Focusing on the now will get you to the future. And that way you can prepare yourself for it, and actually know how to do it.

(You don't have to answer this ask, I just wanted to send some words of encouragement :D)

thank you, it feels really nice when people offer their stories unprompted like this <3

my mom taught us the basics too, by which I mean she TOLD them to us and barely ever enforced them. I've gotten better at showering regularly (probably still less than most people though) but I cant fuckin STAND brushing my teeth. it makes my mouth feel sooo gross and i never got into the habit of it so it's still difficult.

I used to have HORRIBLE dandruff too, and it itched so bad that I would scab my head all over scratching at it. turns out I have seborrheic dermatitis (diagnosed via tumblr user saying I might have it, and then a nurse confirming it lmao) and now I use a medical anti-dandruff shampoo from like. walgreens or something! I think its called selsun blue or something, so idk maybe that'll help?

ALSO FUCKING. I HAVE SO MANY ISSUES WITH HAIR. so im mixed and my mom has straight hair cause shes very white. so i am FUCKED cause god knows she wont learn to do black hair. but my hair isnt as tightly curled as my other siblings either, so im kind of just left floundering cause idk what kind of hair i even HAVE so how do i figure out how to take care of it??? all i know is that shampoo goes before conditioner ;O;

ANYWAY yeah you're advice here is actually pretty solid. unfortunately the truth is that when it comes to hygiene, you just have to try to do it consistently.

one thing that helps me take showers (and this is advice i got from ppl with ADHD, which i might also have idk) is to either set a timer or just don't. think.

if i think too much I'll never take a shower cuz i'll be thinking about how hard it is and how long it will take.

but if I think "i should shower" and just ride that thought out then I can collect all my things (towel, bodywash, etc) and go to the shower before I have the chance to change my mind.

my hygiene is still probably "gross" to most people but I've improved a lot so i'm proud of myself.

sorry for the ramble hah, I appreciate the encouragement <3

#nnstuff #ask #asks are sweethearts #neglect #child neglect #unhygienic

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guideaus · 1 year

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late trigun stampede ep 7 thoughts

the orphanage is called hopeland... where ur hopes of ww being alive die...

once again wish the character designs were better

i think tristamp is v weird abt comedic timing? trigun's always had goofy little moments in any serious scene, but stampede feels weird for some reason

meryl's faces were cute

vash ran away from wolfwood, to meryl and roberto (without intending to meet them), and turned back around...???

the zazie mouth bit was fun. i think they did that before in the manga but i think it was weird then

ww just has an unlimited supply of those drug things

ww's attitude is still frustrating

and lighter tricks seems a little silly, but idk lol

at least they didnt ditch razlo?

idk why the hell meryl and roberto are there. anime meryl and millie pt 2

livio operating under some... unattached mindset feels lame

vash did nothing while livio killed himself?? anime ww death pt 2

legato seems to have replaced the real chapel, and livio defiitely feels like an entirely different character. stamp legato is trying to make ww how livio was in trimax

ig legato is still weird... but really focused on nick. for some reason

i genuinely cant tell what theyre doing w roberto. at first i was like "why is a lackluster, apathetic drunk replacing milly" but i remembered trigun humanized a character who was an alcoholic very well, so i thought that might happen, but he just seems to occasionally be gifted w perception (though other characters will randomly do it, too, so it doesnt feel exclusive to him), and i cant tell if his "oh, this sucks, let's give up" is supposed to be funny or not?? at first i thought it'd be an act to protect meryl from the more ridiculous events, but he keeps doing it, and its like. what is the point. he is STILL annoying me in ep 7??

none of the main cast is reacting to livio apparently killing himself..? vash spent the entire last ep and half of this one interfering in ww's personal business just to let this guy die when he tries to kill himself lol? mr. "I disapprove of suicide the most"

there's just an entire room of the ship that's left alone?

ww yells so much, he feels like the delinquent/jock anime cliche

did the bad lad gang leave or what... what happened w them lol?? what did they even do before??

it feels like no other characters except the main cast exist. how are there wide shots of the trigun version of a cruise ship and there's no normal people anywhere

the gang really left w/o doing anything 😭??

i think meryl mentioning tonis is good, and she's finally disobeying, but also i cant help but wonder why it took her 4 whole eps to even show she's affected... but i guess its better than nothing ever

FKSDJFSD THEYRE JUST TRYING TO LIFT THAT THING WITH THEIR HANDS??

and legato didnt stop it?

"what about the people on the ship" bitch, what people. they all got raptured

ww is being pretty negative when they just accomplished that feat. i'd absolutely get an ego boost. maybe they can stop the ship w their bare hands too, who knows.

vash doing fucking puppy eyes after ww saying he'll kill him is so funny. it makes no sense. he killed ur pal 2 eps ago

NICK BEING LIKE "IM THE PUNISHER >:( THE PUNISHER >:((" IS SO FUNNY TOO FJSDJS?? why did they make him like this ohmy god

idk why the hell this ep is called wolfwood. in trimax its when he has his first fight w vash over their ideals, and the 2nd is probably when he dies, idk, but neither happens here

its weird in the manga the plant is out of control and vash goes to calm it for the ship, but in stampede its just... there, and he's asking it to like take control of the ship...?

i guess livio isnt dead lol. they did pass his ass though

i cant say i like the plant's design either :( that is a fantasy fairy/mermaid/whatever. not to mention, another instance where the writers cut out the christianity themes. i guess for the next ep there'll be some explanation why vash and knives look different lol, and theres no way this time they were made by humans i guess.

with stampede's pacing so far, i can get why they'd reveal vash isnt human here. there's no way they'd hold out w all their other choices so far.

i also dont like those plant lines. it feels like... idk, a lame idea of how aliens or whatever would look like. i probably just like my aliens like the nge angels or the typhon from prey.

glad the end card isnt sexy ladies this time

#personal #trigun stampede spoilers #i almost said they all got bioshocked instead of raptured FJDSJ #*is not christian*

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hollypies · 7 months

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I would not trust your brothers if I were you, and if they try to make you feel bad about being suspicious about anything that leaves their mouths, I want you to do your best to ignore their nasty words because they and they alone brought it on themselves.

If your brothers didn't want you not trusting them, they shouldn't have hidden your game and lied to your face for three years. Let them whine and bitch all they want, because it's their own damn fault. They made their beds, now they have to sleep in them. Make them work to gain back your trust and don't make it easy for them.

If your brothers want you to trust them again, they need to work for it because they do not deserve immediate forgiveness, they do not deserve immediate restored trust. They need to work for your trust and it's entirely up to you whether you want to give it back to them or not.

Don't let your brothers guilt trip or gaslight you into forgiving them, stick to it and make sure they learn they can't just do whatever they want and expect it to be water under the bridge the following day.

Thanks. Im probably not going to forgive them for a while. They don't even seem to think what they've done was wrong and that it hurt me. Kept saying "what could I have done?" And "how would me saying where it was make things better" and WORST of all "You would've just made things worse."

It sucks. And I did trust my brothers. A lot. Way more than my parents. But idk now. I dont think I trust any of them. And if they want my trust they're gonna have to understand why I'm so upset . I don't think they care though, it's just a "silly game" to them, but it meant a lot to me .

I'm keeping those games in my room now.

Thanks. I'll try to ignore what they say, it's just going to be hard! I still don't really understand why they did this to me, and messed with me for THREE. YEARS. its judt. Such a long time to keep lying to someone. Over something that, in their words was a "silly game and petty reasons". Like. Damn

#holly answers #anonpaws #ill probably trust them one day. but its gonna be a while.#i think im gonna try to avoid them for now. i know the cold shoulder doesnt do much but . i just cant be around them rn #especially because this morning they acted like nothing even happened. like they didnt just reveal they lied for three years to my face #amd one of them trying to take the credit for “tallking my younger brother into giving the game back”. no. thats bullshit #absolute bullshit. he knew this whole time and he never told me. only to turn around and tell me to mt face #that he got my younger brother to give it back?? thats so so fucking stupid #im just. hhgggrghh. im angry and upset and i feel like crying #sorry for ranting so much

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sennaverstappen · 8 months

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sadly it's how it is with rps fandoms in general, most of them 99%of the time go off rails don't matter if its m/m or m/f, im not surprised it reached f1 but then it's better to ignore then giving them attention

i’m assuming youre referring to the l3stappen situation that i commented on today - and yeah i for sure agree that it happens in every fandom!!

it just sucks bc not to go sentimental style on the f1 rpf blog but lestappen genuinely is a comfort of mine (got into f1 in a pretty dark place in my life and my second race was baku so i was doomed from the start) and it does break my heart that 1. ppl give it a bad rep (which is whatever like ppl shouldve maybe just left that post alone it wasnt like they posted it on twt but i get it. i get seeing something that makes u cringe so bad it make u need to post it) and 2. it drives (pun intended) ppl away from a ship i really like which 🥺💔💔

i agree it happens everywhere and we should just stop giving it attention, but it does unfortunately impact the way people look at the ship, and i fear if it gets off tumblr that it might get to the drivers eventually - which could (& probably would) impact their real life friendship in the same way l4rry did. which is the last thing i want. so i think its good to like keep people somewhat in check when it comes to deranged statements - sometimes ppl get lost in the game i guess and its good to have a reality check (myself included!)

tldr: yes but it still impacts me and how ppl see the ship which sucks. also im scared ppl will start acting like this outside of tumblr which could ruin their (potential) friendship a la l4rry styl1ns0n lol

#.txt #ask #discourse #yeah i feel strongly about this. mostly bc i rlly love this ship A LOT #i find a lot of comfort in it and it 💔 when someone makes it seem like. that #also im on my period get out of jail card for getting overly sentimental over vroomy guys

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lesbiangiratina · 2 years

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The writing on female characters of Guilty Gear is... quite decent? Hell, it is good for a fighting game... even more when such fighting game has... whatever the plot of Guilty Gear is.

I think the thing with Guilty Gear is that threads on the lines where they could fall on tropes but never go for it but you see the stuff and says: "I am wary cuz this would have gone to misogyny or worse in any other thing."

May having a crush on Johnny? Literally would keep me awake at night if not for it being Guilty Gear (even if I will never settle until Johnny and Testament get together.)

Millia and Zato still interacting? On literally anything else it would be about Zato becoming better and Millia forgiving him which would end on them ending up together... GG choose to have Millia grow her own life meanwhile Zato little by little was left alone by her and Venom.

Aria/Justice/Jack-O?! On God that it would give me anxiety how the plot of the series is a big: "I miss my wife." with Jack-O just being a replacement for Aria to give to Sol... but she is her own character and she rebels on her own. Also how Justice was the original villain... glad that they never gave overtly weird shit with her and Sol.

I-No?! I could absolutely get nightmares thinking of any other thing where one if not the biggest antagonist of the series is a woman which is also romantically involved (kinda) with one of the main male characters... I was literally expecting for everything about I-No to be about Axl back when I got into the series but nope... Axl's destiny revolves around her.

The only character who like... is iffy, to me, is Dizzy since... she kinda just exists to be for male characters... she kinda only exists to be Sol's daughter, Ky's wife and Sin's mother... which with how Testament was seen as a male character guess she was also there for them... even if I enjoy's Dizzy's storyline of growth and exploring the world.

LITERALLY JOHNNY SCARED ME SO BAD like oh god heres this like, womanizer guy, and hes got a whole pack of young girls, but no he explicitly views them as family and its quite sweet and i put down the huge rock i was holding like Phew hes just a dilf. Im a little bit obsessed with i-no too. I like it when women just kinda suck. Unpleasant to be around. But in a cool way. And i think i agree with you about dizzy too, as much as i like her… she still has a pretty nice story though. I really like her design in the strive credits, but im not sure if that was new? Actually im kinda surprised they brought back testament before her… fingers crossed.

#i could answer these privately but nah. everyone look at our video game wisdom #asks #gg

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marioyuri · 1 year

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it's honestly more depressing bc persona 2 innocent sin (1999 ps1, ported/localized to psp in 2011) did a gay relationship treated respectfully that you can do as the protag... (tho the game does have transphobic "jokes" as well, it's not unavoidable/baked into story). also i totally get it bc i also lived thru danganronpa lol. i think in some ways persona 4 is worse than DR but they are basically both doing the same thing. convincing ppl that being gnc is unnatural/smth to be overcome, naoto is treated more like a character to "fix" than to leave alone which is the most hurtful part imo. and even gets dragged into "fixing" or "proving" that kanji isn't gay... i've played every game in the series so I just feel relieved when someone can recognize these issues ..ppl get badly harassed on twitter for even mentioning it. i think it's a relief the director/main writer of p3, p4, + p5 stepped down, so i'm just tentatively hoping whatever they do next manages to get by without making 1 gay joke...

Yeahhh unlike dr its worse because at least dr had the message that its ok to be gnc but you are still the gender at birth and that being different doesnt change who you are which is better than how they take naoto and go youre wrong for this. Be a girly girl. You have to conform to be happy. But they both suck ass regardless. Also that does really feel like a guy punch knowing theyre just regressing and doing worse as time goes on 😭. And yeah i did some research on p4 so i learned the hard way that the fans for this series are actual animals. Theyre so fucking nasty and awful. Its crazy bad. Im lucky because the only persona fans i know is my friends. And its a lot of them so its like a small community of people who are decent 😅 im glad to hear the dude is fucking off . Hopefully for next game (if they make one?) that ill be there to experience at the same time as everyone wont be so bad..

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shadethechangingman · 1 year

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Salty Ask Meme: #1, #3, #20 and #31?

ok finishing those hater asks late

1.How has DC/Marvel/publishing company wronged you, specifically? everytime orion shows up in a comic its a crime. against me. but also like EVERY comic they announce sounds so bad these days. ok personal attacks against me RECENTLY

cancelling ram v's the swamp thing (so so good)

cancelling future state gotham (THE COMIC SUCKED. BUT i stand by red bat hunter and there are so many batman titles just leave this one!! for me.)

rebooting batman inc FINALLY but destroying the characters giving them all 1 skintone and introducing 400 new characters in the first 2 issues instead of just. DC PUBLISH NIGHTRUNNER: LOVE IN PARIS OR ELSE

khalid's future scares me w JSA and then batman w the fate helmet... also i have to be honest i hate his costume. its really bad. hoodie and jeans were somehow better

get constantine away from the JL and the superheroes! you have zatanna and dr fate!!!!!

dc v vampires and DKofsteel being 3984032432 chapters long w spinoffs and ONE jurassic league comic (jurassic league still deals w a trope i dont like (jl vs darkseid) but i will accept it bc the comic is so silly)

employing the toms

whatever piss shit black label is i hate to be "edgy" but its lacking the like.. grostesque and wild of it all. black label could never do face or kid eternity etc

so many more things im sure if i thought harder

3. Who is your most hated comics writer? ok if it wasnt obvious. TK. caus frankly i think "ex-CIA" is a valid reason alone to dislike him but on top of it i do think the misogyny racism xenophobia is unavoidable in his comics and while i hear "but he works w the best artists!' a lot frankly i dont think any of the artists he's worked with really did particularly memorable work on the interiors except bilquis evely tbh. and like that shit was a book there was so much text i barely had time to look at the art!!!!! frankly also someone told me they think he only watches the cartoons and as time goes on i start to believe that more

20. What’s the worst superhero team? I HATE THE JSA!!!!! and inf inc. nostalgia circlejerk for the good ol days with a ridiculously large cast that doesnt have any reason being on screen together outside of a "BUT WE'RE FAMILYYYYYY"x1000. w inyfinity inc the like smugness of "HEH we're the REAL heroes becuase our parents were heroes" in the appearances of them ive read just annoyed me

31. What’s the worst animated/live action adaptation you’ve seen? YJ for sureeeeee the misogyny racism ableism and absolutely the worst version of every character it adapts. and since it spans such a large amount of the dc universe which SHOULD be awesome for a cartoon but it manages to fuck it up every single way. dogshit art. dogshit designs (ok i remember not minding metron + FP's but every other design in the show PUKE). dogshit characterization. "its a reimagining-" and its a bad one

#iggyanswers #jonsei93 #justixw league comix

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sereniv · 1 year

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Hi hello !! I met another afro indigenous person yesterday who says she’s reconnecting also. I’m so happy to have another afro indigenous person to talk to but I also don’t feel very mutual with her if that makes sense? We’ve been trying to reconnect around the same amount time but when talking to her the vibes just feel very off. Maybe our goal isn’t the same or maybe it’s because different situations. Maybe with time we’ll bond more. But as of right now idk. I hate being weary of people or anything but I kinda am with her and I hate feeling like I’m questioning someones identity of intentions. Maybe it’s just anxiety.-🦪

I am so happy for you! but it also sucks you ended up feeling that way, but i feel you

And it could just be you guys dont click. I know that ive wanted to connect with people and i just dont click at all and it sucks bc it would be benifitial to me but you dont want to feel like its a chore yknow?

Definitely wait it out because you never know, but dont stick talkin to someone if youre not feeling it. bc youl just get anxious everytime they message you with the feeling of obligatory to message back

But yeah its hard when you come across someone whos goal is different, but i know for me a lot of people might think my reconnecting goal is simply to have the title of native. Bc of no context or little context, or the stuff i say

so it coulr also be this person may seem to not have the right goals or whatever the problem is, but that you just dont have all the context

bc i know i say words that dont exactly describe what i mean. Like saying the sun is too loud, instead of too bright.

It can come off as way different than one intended it.

Its just never easy. because you talk to someone who is "ahead" of you, it can feel like their "better" than you. or someone is just starting, and thus cant give you much like info or even personal experience

and even when someone is at the same level, it still as you know, can feel different. And yeah like of course do what you can

and dont feel bad if it doesnt work out with this person. You can have a kinship but it doesnt mean you have to take in everything every chance you get- basically, just bc you have this opportunity that youve been wanting, its not bad to decline it

For example, i want to learn Yoem Noki (Yaqui language) and there are zoom meetings for learning

i dont make those. i dont try anymore, and in thr beginning i felt bad bc. i have this opportunity that ive been wanting, its right there, and "me not taking it must mean i dont care enough "

but our anxiety and problems dont just go away no matter how much we want something. And so you have to be kind to yourself and accept that sometimes that opportunity isnt for you

and it really sucks! bc of course im sure you wanted this to work out. but you have to think of your wellbeing

Again tho id say give it a little time, but usually we can tell when a friendship isnt going to work out, or evene be close.

Also dont feel bad! its okay to be wary. But its easy for me to say bc im not in your current position

but if i was, i know id tell someone "be confident blah blah" but at the end of the day, when youre more in it than the other person its just hard to engage. it feels small? it feels like a nervous laugh.

Just remember your goals and your needs. You are loved and appreciated and welcome by the all the people who matter. Think of the people before you that got you here

their laughter, their songs, their heartache. And assimilation, colonialism, racism.

Feel all those emotions of warmth of love and anger to find your confidence. if that makes ANY sense lol. Like when youre alone with yourself and you think of the opportunities you have and dont go through with, or you feel isolated, just know yourself

that youre trying and thats literally all you need to do.

and all this matters, having that self confidence, because it makes situations like this more bareable. Have someone who you can relate to but dont vibe with? Inner confidence will allow you to not feel bad about it. Have the opportunity to take a class on learning thr language but have too much anxiety? You inner confidence will help you not feel bad. Oh well, maybe next time. Thats what you want to feel

So dont feel bad for being wary. It doesnt have to be seen as questioning intentions, see it as protecting yourself.

Because questioning their intentions isnt bad. doing that is to make sure youre not wasting your time, or getring to invested in someone

If anything you can out right ask them what their goals are. or milestones or what they want to feel. Not as an interogation but as naturally curious.

sorry for all the words i dont mean to send you novels

but yeah im so happy for you, but im sorey that you feel wary. If in the end you trail off from that person dont feel bad. Either they are a pretendian, or they just have a different path that doesnt conenct with you

My precious friend you will be okay i know it. Its going to be hard, maybe forever. But you WILL be somewhere different every step of the way

You will feel confident one day. you will find people like you one day. one day you are going to look in the mirror and everything will have settled in

in the beginning, especially as a black indigenous person, reconnecting is hard and rocky and awkward. and sometimes downright ugly and hurtful

but you take as long as you need to get there. wherever /there/ is.

for me, my first goal was confidence. and its taken a few years (unless you count my whole life up until now (29)) to find that confidence

but i still have goals. i am not /there/ yet. But i remind myself that i am not going to be on my death bed, looking back to now, sad that i didnt do anything- not exactly the right word but

like im not going to feel bad for anxiety. i feel confident. I declare i have anxiety and i declare that it stops me from doing things i want.

Im shy and i own it. I cant talk to elders, i cant connect with people i want to. And thats okay. It sucks and it hurts me. Its a negative thing, but ive tried my best. And thats all anyone needs to know or care about

You are Mvskoke. No one can take that from you. They cant deny the people who lived before you, that died. whos assimilation or whos colonialism ended up making you disconnected.

No one gets to tell you to ignore your anxiety or shyness or any thing like that. Because you know it, it is disabiling. But the focus is you are Mvskoke. You arent trying to be, you are.

Thats why its called reconnecting. We are already connected, we are taking back what was taken through colonialism and assimilation

So with this person, dont feel bad about how you feel. you are simply trying to protect yourself.

Do what you feel is best, and accept your anxieties role in that if it has a role. But dont feel bad. You are doing just fine ❤️

#ask #anon #oyster #ill label that so you can easy reread if you want

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