#ive only seen ONE FRAME bc he had it down when he was sleeping or laying down or something (im on episode 20)

[krismckrismckris]

GAH DAYUM WHY IS ED WITH HIS HAIR DOWN SO-

#fmab #fullmetal alchemist brotherhood #ed elric #edward elric #gah dayum hes hot- #ive only seen ONE FRAME bc he had it down when he was sleeping or laying down or something (im on episode 20) #but god damn- #man i thought i was aroace #mf got me rethinking my sexuality #fmab edward #fmab ed #fullmetal alchemist #the one and only edward #every other person named edward and alphonse is invalid #they are the only #me just simping for him in tags

[aliferous-ly]

Forgot

WOW I TOTALLY DIDNT FORGET ABOUT SECRET SANTA AHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA ME??? FORGET??? NEVER

Summary: “Logan, meanwhile, was struggling to suppress the growing panic in his chest. Stupid, stupid, stupid, Logan chastised himself, rubbing his gloves together, breaths making little puffs of white in the cold air. What would still be open? Walmart? Probably? For those as irresponsible and foolish as he?” 

Words: 3866 bc i’m uncontrollable

Genre: fluff??? idk my man

Pairing: there’s no explicit romance. logicality if you squint but its like, heavy platonic shipping ig? i’m a mess forgive me

warnings: uhh ghosts implications, there’s a cancer mention, self deprecation, i think that’s it?? if there’s something else let me know!!

tags: @sassy-in-glasses @rose-gold-roman @justanotherpurplebutterfly @echomist13

THIS IS FOR @kaana-the-ace-witch idk who else to tag for the secret santa thing but UR THE MOST IMPORTANT GOTTA MAKE SURE U SEE THIS

Logan wasn’t a forgetful person. He kept a very specific itinerary, thank you very much, and it was color coded (no, it wasn’t a bullet journal, Roman) for easy reading. Really, nothing could go wrong, if he followed the schedule.

But when Virgil said, “Oh, hey, we’re going over to Pat and Ro’s room for Christmas tomorrow morning, Pat said they’re putting together a huge breakfast,” at eleven thirty pm on December twenty-fourth, Logan felt like a bucket of ice water dumped down his back and trickled through his veins.

“O-oh, alright,” Logan said, like his world hadn’t just fallen apart at the seams.

“You good?” Virgil asked, eyes flicking from the TV displaying Uncharted IV to Logan’s face.

“Peachy,” Logan said. He abruptly stood. “I’m going to turn in. Goodnight.”

“Um, okay, Logan–” Virgil paused the game to face him fully. “Are you sure you’re okay–”

Virgil blinked at the empty room, eyes narrowing. Had he just seen the front door closing, or was that just his imagination?

The sounds from the television drew him back to the screen and Virgil settled back down. If something horrible was going on, Logan would give him at least some sort of warning. Maybe he just forgot sleep existed, and being reminded of the next day’s activities sparked that well-known responsibility.

Virgil shrugged, ate some chips, and unpaused the game.

Logan, meanwhile, was struggling to suppress the growing panic in his chest. Stupid, stupid, stupid, Logan chastised himself, rubbing his gloves together, breaths making little puffs of white in the cold air. What would still be open? Walmart? Probably? For those as irresponsible and foolish as he?

Logan couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe himself. How could he forget – no, how could he neglect to receive any form of gift for the gift-giving season? Hell, he gave Virgil a Hanukkah gift on the first and last day, with Patton and Roman filling the days in between.

Not a single gift. Not for Roman, not for Virgil, and most importantly, not for Patton.

Undoubtedly Patton had gotten him the best, most thoughtful gift he could think of. What if he spent hours and hours focusing on his gift, only to be presented with a last-minute dump of a present? Logan could hardly live with himself. He simply couldn’t believe...

Walmart wouldn’t have a decent gift. It would be picked clean. Could he buy something of worth before tomorrow?

Maybe he had something at his parents house? But that was three hours away, he would get little to no sleep on a gamble. He couldn’t call Roman, he would tell Patton – they lived together, after all – and if he didn’t intentionally tell him, Patton would figure it out – he was much smarter than he let on. Plus, Roman would just have to be overly dramatic – “I can’t believe you forgot to gift the most wonderful human being, me, with a present! The audacity!”

He couldn’t tell Virgil, Virgil was... Virgil. Virgil didn’t need any added stress in his life, he’d finally relaxed, and Logan knew how empathetic Virgil was. Virgil would definitely get himself all wrapped up in Logan’s issues and ramp up his own stress in the process. Logan couldn’t – wouldn’t – do that to him.

And obviously Logan couldn’t tell Patton. Never. Logan was well aware of his shortcomings as a friend, and expressing love was definitely fell into the “needs work” category. Patton... Patton was the best friend anyone could ever have, and Logan couldn’t stomach presenting his failures to Patton, let alone deal with his “it’s okay, Logan. No, really, don’t worry about it!” Mostly because Logan wanted to be a good friend, he wanted to be the best friend anyone could ever have but it was so hard, none of it came naturally to him.

Logan walked through the park to reach downtown, but paused when a figure slide across the pond, the metal of their skates glinting in the moonlight. They slid over to the edge of the pond, mere feet from where Logan had paused.

“Whatcha doing out this late on Christmas Eve?” they asked, their voice gravely but soothing.

“Finding a gift,” Logan said, the words falling unbidden from his lips. He shoved his hands further into his pockets, fighting the urge to defend himself with I swear I love them, I’m just foolish, please don’t think I’m some deadbeat...

“Ah. Forget?” they said, eyes shining with the reflection of the snow. Logan supposed their eyes must be a lighter color, maybe blue or green. Wrinkles lined their cheeks, or what Logan could see of them. “Or did someone finally convince you?”

Logan scrunched up his nose. “I forgot. I have no idea what to get them.”

“More than one person?” they asked.

“Yeah,” Logan released a puff of air, frustrated. “I can’t think of anything for any of them. It’s too late.”

“It’s never too late,” they said. Their skates touched the snow and they walked, gait smooth despite the blades on their feet, and approached a bench.

“What about you?” Logan asked. “What are you doing out so late?”

“It was a tradition of my daughter and mine to ice skate on the Eve,” they said, lowing themselves onto the bench with an oof. They patted the spot next to them. “Humor an old man for a few minutes?”

Logan nodded once, twice, and then delicately sat next to him. The man sighed. “She was gorgeous, my daughter. Hair was always chopped short, the sharpest eyes you’d ever seen.”

“What happened to her?” Logan asked.

“Cancer,” the old man said, smiling softly. “Hated wearing wigs, so she never did.”

There was a beat of silence, and Logan had no idea what to say. I’m sorry for your loss?

“What about your gifts?” the man asked. “Who did you forget?”

“My best friends,” Logan said, that twinge of frustration twisting in his gut. “All three of them.”

“Tell me about them,” the man said. “While I rest my old feet.”

“Okay,” Logan said, taking his hands out of his pockets to rub them together. “Um, one of them is as quiet as the night, and he’s insanely clever while being obscenely obtuse at the same time. He loves to write... and another is loud, loud as the sun and just as bright, and he doesn’t like to be called a nerd, but...” Logan’s lip twisted. “And then there’s... well. He’s like... he’s... inexplicable. He’s smart, so smart, but in every way I’m not. He could make friends with just about anyone, and he cares, so much, about everything.”

“Ah,” the man said softly. “They sound wonderful.”

“They are,” Logan said, the words landing woeful instead of wistful. “And I can never live up to that. I can never give the best gift...”

“Well, I might have a little something for the first friend of yours,” the old man said, fishing through his pocket. He pulled out a small colored pencil set, with five colors – red, yellow, blue, black, and white. “Of course, it doesn’t seem like much at first glance.”

“Oh, I... I can’t take this,” Logan said. “Um, it’s yours, and it looks... important.”

“Oh, everything has its own importance,” the man said.

“Also...” Logan frowned at his hands, not wanting to burst the man’s bubble. “I think Roman is getting him prismacolors for Christmas. It would pale in comparison.”

“Oh, but this isn’t any regular old pencil set,” the man said. “It’s magic.”

Logan snorted softly, holding the pencil set carefully. The cardboard was worn and didn’t seem to have any brand logo on it. They were obviously used but still had a good amount of lead left, and Logan couldn’t figure out why he loved them so much.

“Magic, hm?” Logan turned the pencil set over in his hand. “What’s so magic about–”

Logan blinked at thin air, lips parted. He tentatively reached out and touched the wood, furrowing his eyebrows and frowning.

Where...

He looked back at the pencil set in his hand and pocketed it, standing slowly. The world felt off-kilter, like he’d just woken up, and a street light flickered.

“Okay,” Logan murmured to himself. “Maybe you just blacked out and missed the goodbyes. That’s fine. That’s normal.”

He started walking down the path, fingers running over the small, angular box. Weird...

He almost tripped on something, catching himself just before hitting the hard concrete.

“Oh my goodness! I’m so sorry!” a tinny voice cried out, a small girl appearing in his line of sight and picking up a wooden ball. She cradled it to her chest, curly brown hair framing her face.

“Uh, hello,” Logan said, rigid. He did not know how to handle kids. “Um, what’s your name?”

“My name?” the girl cocked her head. “What are you doing out so late?”

Winded, Logan took a breath. “What are you doing out so late?”

“Waiting for my Gran,” she said. “She’ll be here soon.”

“Okay,” Logan said uncertainly.

“She really loves me,” the girl continued. “I love her, too, but sometimes I feel like I’m invisible. Do you feel invisible sometimes? I do. It’s her birthday next week and I don’t know what to get her. What do you get your friends for their birthdays?”

“I... don’t know,” Logan said. “I’m trying to find Christmas gifts for them right now.”

“Right now?” the girl cocked her head to the side. “Okay. Can you find them?”

Logan shook his head. “Not very well.”

“What are they like?” the girl asked, expression open and vibrant.

“Um.” Logan cleared his throat, feeling an odd sense of deja vu. “One cares so much about everything but pretends he cares about nothing, another is passionate and vigorous, and he does everything all or nothing. The last is... he’s... he’s like a blanket, or the smell of baking cookies, and he’s so talented at so many things I don’t think I can live up, sometimes...”

Logan’s throat closed and he settled his gaze on the ground. Why... how... where did all that come from?

“Oh!” she said, delighted. “I have something for your second friend!”

“What?” Logan said, barely managing to get the word out before she shoved the ball into his hands. Smooth, round, with chipped red paint... it didn’t look like much.

“I can’t take this,” Logan protested. “This is yours!”

“But it’s magic,” she said sagely, voice whisper-quiet, lips stretched into a secretive grin. “Touch it, and all your wildest dreams come true!” She wiggled her fingers, making small explosion noises with her mouth.

“Um,” Logan twisted the ball in his hands. “Like a magic eight ball?”

“A magic eight ball?” she repeated. “What’s a magic – oh!” her eyes widened comically, gaze darting around her body. “Oh, oh!”

“What’s wrong?” Logan looked around him, searching for danger. “What’s...”

Logan froze. “Where’d...” he said into empty air, cold and sharp. “But...” he looked at the wooden ball, feeling the grooves and chips against his fingertips.

He pocketed the ball and slowly got to his feet, stretching his fingers and rolling his wrists. Everything seemed... off. Off in an indescribable way.

Okay, he told himself. Get to walmart, find something for your friends. Or... he ran his fingers over the pencil set, over the wooden sphere. For Patton...?

Logan shoved his hands deep into his pockets and continued on, keeping his gaze on the ground so he didn’t see any ice skating men or little girls with wooden toys. He had to keep staring at the path, get to walmart, maybe buy and obscene amount of candy to cover up his complete and utter incompetence.

“Hey!”

Logan flinched. He didn’t want to look up, didn’t want to see someone else, didn’t want to –

“Hey!” a rough hand pushed at his shoulder and he almost fell over, slipping on ice only for the same hand to catch his arm, whirl him around and spin him upright again.

Logan heaved a few breaths, eyes wide as he stared into golden brown eyes.

“What’s a guy gotta do to get someone’s attention, huh?” he said. He released his hold on Logan, crossing his arms and scrunching up his nose. He appeared the same age as Logan, maybe even younger, but...

“You’re in college, right?” he said, voice sharp and snarky.

“Yeah,” Logan said. “You?”

The guy shrugged. “Never made it out of highschool.”

Logan furrowed his eyebrows. “What...?”

He glanced at him, and unreadable expression in his face. “Why’re you out here, man? You look like you got friends. It’s like, midnight.”

“I forgot to get them gifts, so,” Logan shrugged. “I’m getting them some.”

“Wow,” he laughed, raucous and loud. “That’s awesome. Great. Fantastic. You sound like the most wonderful friend of all.”

“Yeah, I know,” Logan said. “I gotta get to it, so...”

“Wait,” he said, reaching out but drawing back at the last moment, fingers curling in. “I... kinda know what that’s like.” He scuffed at the ground. “Not knowing what to get friends, I mean. Or...” his face twisted. “Boyfriends.”

“Boyfriends?” Logan said, blinking.

“Hold onto them,” the boy said, glancing at him and trapping him in his gaze, eyes blazing like fire. “Hold onto your friends because one day you’ll disappear.”

“You mean they’ll disappear?” Logan said, leaning back.

“Y... yeah, of course,” he said, pulling away and leaning against a tree. “Sure.”

“Um, I’ll be...”

“Wait, just...” he sighed, looking far more dejected than any teenager had business being. “Tell me about them? I miss having friends.”

“Okay, well...” Logan almost denied his request but after seeing his downcast gaze, his frustrated scuffing, he relented. “One is... one is soft and sharp at the same time, one is angry and freakishly patient, and the last is... he’s, just, he’s clever and thoughtful, and he tries so so hard to help other people but he forgets to care for himself, too, and we forget to care for him sometimes...” Logan snapped his mouth shut. Why oh why did he always start to ramble about them?

The boy’s mouth flickered into a smile before he schooled it back into a scowl. “Yeah, okay. I think I got something for the last one.”

“What are you talking about?” Logan asked, reaching into his pockets in confusion. “I don’t want anything from you.”

“It never matters if you want anything, does it?” the boy said. “Not now, anyway. This is about them.”

“I... yeah,” Logan said. “But...”

“Okay, let’s just get this over with,” he sighed and reached into his sweatshirt pocket, pulling out a gilded bracelet. “This... yeah, whatever, you’ve heard it all, yadda yadda.”

“What?” Logan said, feeling winded.

The boy shoved the bracelet in his hands. “Don’t make this harder than it needs to be.”

“I’m not, I’m just...” Logan looked down at the bracelet, a golden chain with small leaves hanging off like a mini flower crown. With... leaves instead of flowers. So not really a flower crown more of a leaf crown and Logan should really, really stop thinking.

“Thanks,” Logan said, looking up. He took a step back at the complete emptiness that greeted him, but he wasn’t completely surprised, either. Somehow he knew the teenage boy would disappear, just like the old man and the little girl.

“Thanks,” Logan said again, softer. He gently placed the bracelet with his other three gifts and turned around. Undoubtedly they would be disappointed with his gifts and would have that “thanks...” tone, of subtle disappointment, but Logan couldn’t bring himself to take a trip to some capitalist department store to grab some cheap gimmick.

They would be disappointed, but at least they wouldn’t be disappointed in a cheap car charger.

He trudged home, watching his step. He heard the giggle of a girl but saw nothing when he turned, and he noticed a figure moving across the pond but when he raced through the path to the edge there was nobody there. A scoff followed him home, and Logan carefully opened the door to his dorm, peaking to see if Virgil was still awake.

Bright lights spilled across the carpet, the intro screen to Uncharted IV dancing across Virgil’s face. Virgil, however, was dead asleep, mouth hanging open and light snores falling from his mouth.

Reaching down, Logan carefully picked him up and carried him to his room, gently setting him down on the mattress and pulling the comforter. Come morning, Logan would have to drag him out of bed, and Virgil would hang off of him until they got to Roman and Patton’s room, where he would promptly hang off of Roman for the better part of the morning.

But until then... Logan had some gifts to wrap.

—

“Okay, I know I sounded like, hella ungrateful when I opened those pencils, but they’re magical or some shit, I swear to god,” Virgil said the moment Logan opened the door.

Logan froze, halfway through taking off his coat and shoes. “Oh?”

“Yeah, like,” Virgil waved around the black pencil emphatically. “I always get the color I’m trying to blend! And I used to hate coloring with colored pencil because it’s not like acrylic paints where you can test the color before blending so I always hated using colored pencils but these work like god herself crafted them.”

“Um, I’m glad,” Logan said, a grin twitching onto his lips. “I’m... I’m really glad.”

“Yes, bless these freakish colored pencils,” Virgil said reverently. “Also, Roman called me, he’s looking for you.”

“Why didn’t he just call me?” Logan asked. Virgil gave him a look. “Right, okay, he didn’t just call about me. Thanks.”

“Sure,” Virgil said, chewing on the back of the red pencil.

Logan finagled his phone out of his pocket, dropping some books on the counter in the process, and called Roman. He picked up on the third ring.

“Logan, my favorite person in the entirety of the world!” Roman greeted him.

“What do you want?” Logan asked flatly, holding the phone up with his ear and flipping open his chemistry book.

“You wound me,” Roman declared. “Insinuating I only call when I need something, that’s cruel.”

“Mmhmm,” Logan said.

“I just... wanted to let you know, or, I mean,” Roman’s voice lost the exuberance and settled into something softer. “Thanks for that wooden ball thing. Like, I thought it was the lamest thing at first, because, a wooden ball, really? But every time I’m nervous for an audition, or I don’t think I’m going to pass a test, I just... wish on it, like you told me to, and it’s like all my hard work pays off. It’s weird and there’s probably no correlation but it happens too often to be normal so I thought I’d just... thank you.”

“Oh,” Logan said. His phone almost slipped from his shoulder but he caught it before it fell too far. “Um, that’s... that’s crazy. I mean–”

“Yeah, pretty much,” Roman said, voice slipping into ramble mode. “I mean, it’s crazy, right? It shouldn’t matter, because it’s a wooden sphere, like one I could buy at Hobby Lobby, and the paint is chipped in lots of places like my mom painted it when she was seven or something, and–”

“Roman,” Logan said.

“But it’s really very great,” Roman said softly. “Thank you. And sorry for being a jerk on Christmas.”

“You weren’t a jerk, Roman,” Logan said. “Trust me. I know when you’re being a jerk.”

“Okay,” Roman said, uncertainly.

“And, you’re welcome, I’m glad it’s working so well,” Logan said, flashing back to the little girl. Your wildest dreams will come true indeed.

“Oh, and Patton’s at Crimson Valley, you should go say hi,” Roman said. “He mentioned thanking you for his gift, too, but wanted to do it in person. Said it’s more authentic?”

“O-oh, okay,” Logan said. He sat still for a few solid moments. “I mean, I was going to start studying.”

“Dude, we don’t have school, what are you doing,” Roman said, words edged with disbelief.

“I’m behind on some stuff,” Logan said, running his hands through his hair. “And I don’t want to fall behind.”

“Do you want Patton to be alone at the cafe?” Roman asked, and they both knew Logan’s answer before Logan opened his mouth.

“Of course not,” Logan said. “I’ll be there in ten.”

“Yayy!!” Roman said. “I mean, I’m not going to be there, but Patton’ll be happy.”

“I’m sure,” Logan said, sighing. “Okay, talk to you later.”

“Bye!” Roman cheered. For what, Logan couldn’t say.

The phone clicked underneath his ear and Logan resigned himself.

“I’m going out,” Logan said.

“Again?” Virgil asked.

“Yup, Patton’s alone at a cafe,” Logan said. “Roman enlisted me to keep him company.”

“Sounds like Roman,” Virgil said. “Good luck.”

“Good luck?” Logan repeated. “I’m not going into war.”

Virgil turned towards him, shifting his whole body so he could give Logan another look.

Logan rolled his eyes, shrugging his coat on. “Fair point.”

“See ya.”

“Bye.”

Logan walked steadily to the cafe, and braced himself the moment he opened the door. When he wasn’t instantly barraged by an armful of Patton, he opened his eyes.

Patton, tucked into a corner of the cafe, was quiet.

Logan walked up to him and slid into the seat opposite him. “Hey.”

“Oh, hey!” Patton said, expression instantly shifting from pensive to happy. “How are you? I wasn’t expecting you here!”

“Roman told me to come,” Logan said, and then instantly regretted it. “Um. He said something about my christmas present...?”

“Oh, this!” Patton said, lifting up his wrist to display the glittering bracelet. “I... the weirdest thing happens when I touch it. I’m just overwhelmed with this... this affection and wonder for everything, especially my friends.” Patton stared him dead in the eye. “Especially for you.”

Heat rushed to his cheeks and Logan stared pointedly at the table.

“And it’s so magical, and wonderful, that I thought I’d let you know,” Patton said, smile gentle and soft.

Logan glanced up at him, ears hot, and noted the pink dusting on Patton’s cheeks.

“Um, you’re, you’re welcome,” Logan said, coughing.

“It’s so strange,” Patton said. “All of your gifts seem so simple, but they have such a large impact.” He held the bracelet up to the light and admired the way the gold glittered in the sun. “Where did you find them?”

Logan smiled. From an old man with nostalgia, a little girl with wishes, and a teenager with hopes.

“I found them on Christmas Eve,” Logan said instead, and when Patton turned to look at him, the light shone through the window and ignited the deep browns and golds of his irises.

Something crashed, and they looked to the left. A little girl frowned at a shattered cup but laughed when someone who looked like her grandfather gave her candy and promised her another cup. A teenager rocked on his chair, pressing his feet against the table and scowling.

Patton blinked at them and giggled before turning back to Logan.

“I’m glad you love it,” Logan murmured, touching the gold of the bracelet lightly.

Patton smiled, cheeks red, and Logan grinned right back.

#sanders secret santa 2k18 #logan sanders #logan centric #sanders sides fic #patton sanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #brabbles #wow i cranked this out in one day im proud?? between all the family things??? hell yeah #sfhkdshf im sorry i forgottt but its lowkey on time!!

[love-killed-the-superstar]

femslash february strikes again and i finally updated that one cornirma fic that ive been meaning to get back to for literally an entire year

Title: The Frying Pan Conversation Pairing: Cornelia/Irma Chapter: 2 - funny how we run around Summary: “You're awake...” “Great detective work, Sherlock, want a medal?” “It's too early in the morning for you to be sassing me,” grumbled Cornelia, half-heartedly throwing her phone onto the blankets and scooting closer to Irma. “Good thing you're way too cute for me to be sassing you with intent to kill,” Irma teased, pulling her in closer for a hug. She was overly warm from sleep and Cornelia happily melted into it. Irma's boobs made for an excellent pillow. (Cornelia and Irma spend Christmas with the Hales.)

Read on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13743063/chapters/42144206

Cornelia loved watching Irma sleep. While she usually ran her mouth during the day, when she slept she had some sort of serenity around her, a tranquillity one wouldn't expect from someone who spent half the night tossing and turning, hogging the blankets and drooling all over her pillow. Yet, when morning came and Cornelia returned to wakefulness, Irma was at peace with herself in the land of dreams, hair framing her face like a halo. It took all restraint not to kiss her, but Cornelia had never been a fan of kissing before one had brushed their teeth.

Instead, she continued to watch. It was quiet and dim, the early morning sun casting strange light and shadows throughout the main room where they were set up. Without her family milling around, it felt peaceful. She wondered if this was how it would be all the time, if she and Irma moved in together some day. Sure, it wouldn't be some luxury cabin, but the world would be quiet like this. There would be no eyes on her. The whole room would be theirs to lie in silence and watch each other and feel cosy and secure. While Cornelia did want lavish things for herself someday, when she was older and things like throw pillows and vases mattered greatly in the grand scheme of things, it amazed her how easily she would sacrifice that just to be able to wake up next to Irma each morning and take on the day, regardless of whether they were in a plush king-sized bed or squashed together on a pull-out.

Geez. She really was picturing the rest of her life with Irma, like the hopeless romantic she was.

She rolled over to reach for her phone in the semi-dark. Too early to start messaging the group chat, but she hedged her bets with someone who did have a tendency to be up at this hour.

Will, you awake?

Not three minutes later, she received a reply.

ofc?? no rest for an athlete, corny. how did telling the parents go?

It didn't. Turns out I'm a bit of a coward.

nah it's tough. i only told my mom about being genderfluid a month ago, and i had no idea if she'd even CARE about it

Well, she cares about YOU. And from what you've told me, she's taken it well?

The speech bubble indicating a reply stayed for a while, and Cornelia repositioned herself so that she could watch Irma doze while waiting on Will to get back to her. After a few minutes, her phone finally pinged, and she hastily lowered the volume as Irma stirred slightly.

yeah, turns out dean being our teacher way back in the day finally paid off bc sheffield has diversity training or smth. he sat down w me and my mom and talked over all this stuff she was confused about. and she still doesn't totally get it, but she said she just wants me to be happy. guess that's all i really needed. stuff like if she comes to pride and w/e doesn't matter to me tbh, just knowing she's there for me is enough

Cornelia chewed her lip wistfully. If only it worked out that simply for everybody...

That's great. Really, I'm so happy it all worked out for you. I'm just worried about my parents, I guess. They're not bad people, but sometimes they can be so backwards with things. Really, I just want them to accept that this is a part of me so I can stop lying about a college guy just to keep them from overanalysing the way I am around Irma.

hey i get it! you're both just so darn cute together!

Indeed we are.

They shared some quick, casual conversation (Will, as usual, had some funny story to tell her about life as Taranee's roommate, and Cornelia caught them up on the bullshit that was her and Irma's road trip to the cabin) before Will had to leave to start their morning swim practice.

“Psst. Blondie.”

Cornelia dropped her phone in surprise, catching sight of rich green eyes watching her intently.

“You're awake...”

“Great detective work, Sherlock, want a medal?”

“It's too early in the morning for you to be sassing me,” grumbled Cornelia, half-heartedly throwing her phone onto the blankets and scooting closer to Irma.

“Good thing you're way too cute for me to be sassing you with intent to kill,” Irma teased, pulling her in closer for a hug. She was overly warm from sleep and Cornelia happily melted into it. Irma's boobs made for an excellent pillow.

“You're comfy,” she mumbled.

“Yup, cushy tits run in the family,” Irma remarked, relishing in the way Cornelia shuddered with an implosion of laughter. “You know this is the first time in months we've woken up together?”

“Feels like it too,” Cornelia sighed. “I've missed this. You should really come visit me more often, you know.”

“Oh yeah? I visited you twice last term. It's your turn to visit me just as soon as daddy dearest hands over your fucking prius.”

“Well, no offence, but your college campus is like a 30 minute drive away from Heatherfield,” pointed out Cornelia. “I'd sooner you visit me than risk bumping into Uriah of all people at a house party.”

Irma scoffed. “Thanks a lot! It may not be ivy-league or State U or anything, but there's still a ton of stuff to do! Besides, pretty sure Uriah's at Sheffield Community College, Anna works with his mom.” She paused. “Though, I did run into our dear old chum Nigel at a Halloween party this year.”

“Oh? And how did that go down?”

“How do you think? He followed me around half the night asking about Tara until I finally snapped and was like, 'you missed the boat, honey, our girl is gay as the day is long'. Haven't seen him since. Reckon he dropped out when he heard how swimmingly Taranee's life is going without him.”

“I doubt he flunked out because of a girl he was dumped by five years ago,” Cornelia deadpanned.

“Uh, hello? Our girl is a catch. He's lucky to have even walked the Earth in the same lifetime as her.”

“A bit dramatic, but I get the sentiment.”

Cornelia fell quiet, listening intently to Irma's heartbeat, her breathing.

“D'you think today's gonna be the day?” Irma asked softly.

Cornelia let out a noise, somewhere between laughter and a sigh.

“How do you always know what I'm thinking?”

“Because you have the antithesis of a poker face, darlin'. I've been reading you like a book since I was thirteen.”

She tangled her fingers up in Cornelia's hair, gently combing through, careful to avoid knots.

“I don't know if it'll be today,” sighed Cornelia. “Does it make me a hypocrite? I was so certain I wanted to do it this time.”

“Look. You need to stop putting this pressure on yourself to do everything exactly how you imagined,” Irma said firmly. “You don't have to tell them I'm your girlfriend. You don't even have to tell them you're pan if you aren't ready for it. We can call this off, you can spend the rest of Christmas break not having to worry about their reactions, and we can make out and cuddle and all that good stuff the second we set foot in my house. Would that make you feel better?”

“No?” Cornelia reached up to pull Irma into a proper hug. “I want them to know how happy you make me. I want them to know that I'm happy being myself. But the part where I actually tell them? Opening up like that, it... it's a very emotional process.”

“I know. I know it is. But I promise you, once it's out in the open... never mind their reaction, you will feel worlds better with it off your chest.”

“Ugh, why does my girlfriend have to be so wise?” Cornelia wondered aloud. Irma formed a fist and lightly knocked her on the head.

“If I'm going to be a teacher some day, I gotta be wise. I'm meant to be some sort of inspiring prophet, if your dad's stirring speech at dinner last night was anything to go by.”

“He's a passionate guy,” Cornelia shrugged.

“Sounds like someone else I know.”

A sudden creak from down the hall disrupted them, and they sprung apart, Cornelia sitting upright and reaching for her phone while Irma pretended to go back to sleep. A moment later, Harold's face poked around the door.

“Morning, darling!” he uttered in a stage-whisper, before stepping into the room clad in his robe and slippers. “Does Irma take coffee? I was thinking of brewing a pot to wake your mother up.”

“Only with six million sugars in,” Cornelia said, rolling her eyes fondly. “Don't worry, I'll take over. I know how to make it so she doesn't spit it out.”

Harold laughed, and moved over to start on breakfast as Cornelia set up the coffee maker.

“You two are as thick as thieves.”

Cornelia's hand froze.

“...Well, we're still good friends, but...”

“I drifted apart from my school friends when I went away to college, you know,” Harold mused. “I regret it now. The rift grew so big, and by the time I saw them again they were married, had families... and although we could still talk with ease about these kinds of things, the bond we shared at school – the books we liked to read, the movies we saw together, the pranks we would play on our teachers – all of that was gone. It was something we could look back upon and laugh at, but it's not the same.”

“I didn't know that.”

Harold offered her a kind smile, and reached over to crack some eggs into a bowl, dusting the mixture with pepper.

“Well, I think it's important to keep in touch with those you love. I was actually quite worried when I heard that you were going to your college alone. I know how close you are to the girls you met at Sheffield. I'm... glad that you were able to keep a close bond with them despite the distance.”

Oh, if only he knew how close.

Cornelia set out some cups on the side, hoping her face wasn't burning. If she really was as easy to read as Irma said...

“Well, they're my friends. They're important to me.” She glanced over at him. “Dad, I'm... I'm really happy with my life right now. With the person I am, and the person I'm with.”

Harold stopped whisking, and moved over to pull Cornelia into a tight hug.

“I'm so glad to hear that, darling. I really am.”

They worked in a pleasant silence after that, and when Irma next rolled over, Cornelia was nudging her, cup of overly sweetened coffee in her hand.

“Rise and shine.”

Harold was whistling away as Irma took her first sip, his back to them as he began tossing some bacon and eggs in the pan.

“Mmm. You made it just how I like it.”

“Well, you're picky. If my dad made it you'd choke it down and feel awful the rest of the day,” Cornelia teased. Irma stuck her tongue out.

“Jerk.” After another sip, she added coyly, “I heard the conversation between you two. It was sweet. Are you thinking today might be the day after all?”

“Maybe,” Cornelia said, a flame of confidence ignited in her heart. “He really wants me to be happy, so... maybe when I tell him, he'll understand.”

“Look, Harold Hale might not be leading a revolution, but he's always seemed like a chill guy to me,” Irma said quietly. “If you keep dropping hints, he might figure the rest out on his own.”

“Maybe.”

Cornelia glanced back at her father, still blissfully unaware of their conversation, and she leaned down to press a kiss to Irma's forehead.

“Now, drink up. We have a big day ahead of us.”

…

Breakfast was uneventful, with Lillian dominating the conversation with talk of some dream inspired by a zombie TV show she'd been binge-watching over Christmas break. Irma munched on French toast and bacon and watched in amusement as Harold became disgustingly sweet with Elizabeth, pressing kisses to her head whenever he went to refill drinks, even reaching down to pinch her behind when he was sure his daughters and his oldest's girlfriend weren't looking. Elizabeth swatted his hand away, pretending to be mortified at his brazen display in front of Irma, but the rouge on her cheeks and the affectionate eyeroll told another story. All the while, Cornelia quietly ate and drank, keeping a straight face while prodding Irma's foot playfully with her own under the table.

Oh, Irma could get used to mornings like these.

They took turns showering and dressing, and did the usual routine of wrestling for more mirror space as they brushed their teeth and put on make-up.

“So what's the plan for today?” Irma asked, rubbing some kind of moisturiser into her cheeks. Cornelia leaned in closer and inhaled with a happy sigh. Mango. Irma took the opportunity to turn and press a kiss to the tip of her nose, and Cornelia pulled away with a grin.

“Oh, well now we're all together, today will definitely be a decorating day. I mean, it's Christmas eve tomorrow, so it'd be a little sad if we didn't have the decorations ready by then,” she explained with a shrug, uncapping her mascara beginning to apply it to her upper lashes. “It really shouldn't take too long though. We'll have some time to get away, don't worry. And I think tonight my parents reserved dinner for us at a restaurant in town. I have to warn you, the waiter we had last time was super obnoxious...”

Irma stared at her reflection in the mirror, zoning out of Cornelia's anecdote about the wait staff at said restaurant, before glancing over at her girlfriend. In their teen years, she'd always envied how immaculate Cornelia's appearance was. She'd always seemed flawless somehow, even though Irma knew better and would never ever admit that much. Then, those feelings started to mix with something else, and attraction, jealousy and self-consciousness melted into an ugly soup of insecurity in her psyche. Even now, when she knew better than anyone that Cornelia was smitten with her, doubt crept in, especially in situations like these when they had to stand beside one another and pretend like they belonged in the same league.

“You're beautiful,” she sighed, interrupting Cornelia's spontaneous yelp review. Cornelia's hand jerked at the suddenness of Irma's statement and she hurriedly reached to blot away a clump of mascara stuck to the end of her eyelashes.

“Oh. Well, I do my best, and when it comes to make-up practice always makes perfect, you know.”

“I'm not talking about make-up, though yeah, you should consider dropping out of college and becoming a beauty guru on youtube instead.”

“Well, I think you're gorgeous too,” Cornelia replied with a smile, moving onto her lips. First a layer of balm to soften them, a waiting period of three minutes, and then the application of gloss or lipstick. It was her routine every time, and the waiting drove Irma mad in the mornings they'd spent together over the years. Cornelia's lip balm always smelled so damn good that fighting the temptation to kiss it clean off was a rare torture.

“Have you seen me?” muttered Irma, frowning at her reflection. “Eyebags for days. Messy brows. My lips are chapped to fuck and my skin has been kind of red lately...”

“Every time I see you I want to kiss you all over,” Cornelia said in the kind of factual tone that had Irma raising an eyebrow in disbelief. Still, she didn't protest as Cornelia wound her arms around her, and Irma caught a whiff of coconut lip balm. God damn it, she wanted Corny-kisses so bad. “You still get insecure, huh?”

“Hard not to when my girlfriend could pass for a fucking supermodel.”

“While I'm flattered that you hold me in such high regard, you're a far cry from the disaster you're making yourself out to be,” Cornelia laughed. “Besides, if you're really worrying about stuff, just talk to me, okay?”

“Yeah, okay,” Irma muttered. Cornelia rifled through her make-up bag for a few moments, before bringing out a small bottle.

“Come here, dope. Let me help you.”

“Why pay big bucks for a beautician when you can get one for free in the form of a generous girlfriend?” Irma deadpanned, but a smile tugged at the corner of her lips. Cornelia grinned back and started to apply the liquid to her cheeks and brow with some kind of blender sponge thing shaped like an egg.

“The trick to combating redness and dark circles is to have a good, strong base that neutralises any discolouration in your skin. In your case, green tones kind of cancel out reds, and yellows are good against dark circles, so it just leaves your skin looking healthier, see?”

She switched over quickly to one with a yellower hue, and Irma hummed in agreement, staying put as Cornelia began tending to her eyebags.

“I think I get where you're coming from. Hay Lin calls me up all the time to gush about colour theory, the importance of colour wheels is stuck in my brain for life.”

“Oh, you and Hay Lin call each other all the time? More than me?” Cornelia teased. She put down the sponge and reached back over to her make-up bag, retrieved something that Irma could only describe as the world's tiniest broom, and began to tame Irma's unruly eyebrows. “Don't tell me the two of you are having a sordid affair behind my back.”

“Our torrid love affair is about as real as yours with mystery botanist man,” Irma responded. Without breaking eye contact with Cornelia, she reached over for her own chapstick and began to apply it. Cornelia's tongue poked out slightly in concentration as she smoothed down Irma's brows.

“It's bad enough my parents keep going on about him, don't you start.”

“Well, he is my alter-ego,” Irma pointed out. “Seems a little rude to silence my opinions on him.”

“I hate when you make a good point.”

Cornelia leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Irma's brow, breathing in the smell of her mango moisturiser one more time and sighing deeply. Irma, in a similar moment of pure, unfiltered lesbianism, caught the scent of Cornelia's lip balm and damn went out of her mind. She tilted Cornelia's head down and what transpired for the next few minutes were a combination of kisses, hugs, and several attempts to escape Irma's python-like grip.

“It's lipstick time,” Cornelia complained, a playful glint in her eye as she finally pried Irma's arms off of her waist. “My lips will dry out.”

“Honey, we're both balmed up, if anything, now we have a double coating. You'll be fine.”

“Still, the sooner my make-up is done, the sooner we can get decorating out of the way, and the sooner we can chill out watching crappy holiday movies.”

“The temptation to stay in this bathroom where no one's watching and we can keep kissing forever, though...”

“Aren't we saving 'kissing forever' for the week at your place?” Cornelia asked innocently, perfectly pencilled eyebrows raised.

“No, that's 'sex forever', silly,” Irma said cheerfully, clapping her on the back.

She glanced back at her reflection. While the foundation and tiny grooming hadn't done much besides tidying her reflection up some, her eyes twinkled with something she could only describe as 'the Cornelia effect', and she found her appearance didn't really bug her so much by this point. As they stood side by side, Irma came to the realisation that she and Cornelia really did fit together, but more like a pair of odd socks that compliment each other in all their contrasting glory.

Maybe someone else would call that love.

…

Christmas with the Hales was turning out to be pretty fun.

Irma and Lillian fought bitterly over control of the spotify playlist that morning, while Elizabeth and Cornelia decorated the tree and Harold cheerfully filmed the entire ordeal. Lillian was stubbornly obsessed with the classics, while Irma kept switching them out for lesser appreciated cover versions, partly because rooting for the underdogs was how she rolled, and partly because she got immense glee out of pissing Lillian off (and for that, Cornelia saluted her for her heroism). When Karmilla's edition of 'All I Want For Christmas' came on instead of Mariah Carey, Lillian threatened to throw Irma's phone out of the window, which had Elizabeth swooping in and putting an end to their temporary rivalry.

They called a truce when the parents set out to buy icing and other edible decorations for the Christmas cookies, leaving the girls to prep them for baking. Lillian greased the baking tray while Cornelia mixed eggs and flour and sugar and cinnamon together in a big red bowl. Irma, meanwhile, sat herself on the island and, in compromise with Lillian, put on a playlist of nineties nostalgia, singing along to Re-feel-it and pretending to drum with a pair of wooden spoons against the countertop.

“Funnyyyyy, how we run around,” she belted. “And see what we got, we don't even know what it is we found...”

“And honey, take a look around,” Cornelia chimed in, using the whisk as a microphone. She spun on her heels, her eyes meeting Irma's as she lifted the whisk up to her lips. “By the time we get there we won't even know where it is we're bound!”

The two of them burst out laughing, and Lillian rolled her eyes. “Dorks.”

“Sorry, sorry,” Cornelia sighed dramatically, smirking at Irma before turning back to the mixing bowl and continuing to whisk the mixture. “I forgot we were in your divine presence, Lillian. I hope you can forgive us for entering the realm of uncool nostalgia for two seconds.”

Irma snorted.

“You know, she always gets more sarcastic when you're around, Irma,” Lillian accused.

“Yeah, I rub off on her. I'm a baaaad influence.”

“Is that any way to talk to our renowned guest?” Cornelia chastised. “What would Dad say?”

“He'd probably tell you not to sing into the whisk. You know how many germs you could be putting into the cookies by breathing on the mixture? You've built up an immunity living among students, but have some consideration for those of us who haven't stepped foot in a sweaty student union hall.”

“You're actually mad,” Irma cackled. “What kind of diseases could Cornelia have besides a bad case of the cooties? Unless... Corny, please don't tell me your parents are anti-vaxxers, or I might have to end this friendship for good.”

“Hell no, they're fine. Since when did you become such a germophobe, Lillian?” Cornelia teased.

“I play zombie games,” Lillian responded sagely. “I know how infection spreads.”

“They really don't paint as accurate a picture as you've been led to believe.”

As the mixture began to thicken into a dough, Lillian joined Irma on sitting on the island counter.

“So what's college like?”

“Classes are boring, my roommate sucks, and I'm drowning in student loans. But the parties are fun, and the people are cool when they aren't being pretentious tools.”

Lillian hummed.

“I can't wait until I go to college. Community's one of my favourite shows.”

“Heh, well, Community is an exaggeration for the sake of comedy, but...”

“Cornelia, what's your college like?”

“You saw it when you and Mom and Dad helped me move in,” Cornelia pointed out, distracted as she began to knead the dough.

“Yeah, but it's not the same! Your dorm is nice, sure, but what about the classes? The parties? The boys?”

“Hmm, I don't know about that. Boys aren't my area of expertise.”

“Well that's gay.”

Irma raised her eyebrows.

“Using 'gay' as an insult? Very 2004 of you.”

Lillian rolled her eyes. “Sorry. So you don't have a boyfriend?”

“Nope,” Irma said shortly.

Cornelia began to knead a little harder.

“I bet you know stuff about Cornelia's boyfriend though,” Lillian said to Irma, arms folded. “Why doesn't she talk about him? Is he secretly ugly?”

Irma snorted.

“Ha. I know a thing or two, but he's actually... probably the most handsome person I've ever known. Aside from your sister!” She playfully punched Lillian on the arm, who looked unimpressed by the statement. Cornelia made a strangled sound.

“Lillian, pass me the cookie cutters, please,” she choked.

Lillian raised her eyebrows and hopped off the counter top, retrieving ones shaped like pine trees and angels and bells, handing them to Cornelia.

“Here they are, weirdo. Anyway, you can't blame me for being curious! We had to pry it out of you that you were seeing anyone at all, and you're always so twitchy when we bring him up. Irma, is he a junkie or a biker or something?”

“Nope, just a loser who lies around watching cartoons all day,” Irma responded with a lazy grin.

“So you have a thing in common.”

“Lillian!” Cornelia admonished, slamming a cookie cutter into the dough with enough force to make the other shapes jump. “Also, Irma, I don't appreciate you calling my partner a loser.”

Lillian pulled a face.

“Partner? What are you, old timers?”

“Cowboys,” Irma chimed in.

“Oh, stop teasing me,” Cornelia huffed. “I'm just trying to be more inclusive. The world could do with more of that, you know.”

Lillian shrugged. “Whatever. So you're liberal now?”

“I reckon I've always been, yes.”

“And you, Irma?”

“Socialist, through and through.”

“Of course you are.”

“Just wait until college, Lillian,” Irma chided with a smile, as Cornelia began setting out the Christmas cookies on the tray. “There's a whole wide world out there.”

…

The Italian restaurant Harold took them to that night was fucking fancy, to say the least. The kind of fancy where there were lemon-scented wipes in little packets on every table and complimentary garlic dough balls and everyone was in suits and dresses. The Hales looked like they fit right in, and Irma was some vagrant they'd picked up off of the streets and were treating to dinner in a commendable act of charity.

“I don't even know what half the stuff on this menu is,” Irma hissed to Cornelia as they took their seats.

“It's good food,” Cornelia promised. “They just use posh names to scare people into thinking its worth the money they're paying. Come on, you watch enough Hell's Kitchen to know what filet mignon is.”

Irma ended up ordering something that she was pretty sure was some kind of beef thing, and Cornelia ordered the one pasta dish on the menu that used aubergines instead of pancetta. The wine was decent at least, and Irma found it easier to sneak glances at Cornelia's cleavage in the scoop neck dress she was wearing with the large flower centrepiece obscuring them from her parents. Lillian, while looking the part in a simple white turtle neck dress, was very obviously playing on her phone under the table.

The sweet onion soup starters arrived swiftly, and Irma was dragged back into a light grilling about her teaching degree from Harold, while Elizabeth began to catch Cornelia up with the latest family drama.

“Why, I just think it's so inspiring that you're choosing to act as a beacon for young people, and pave their futures-”

“-And your uncle, of course, is still coming around asking for money, as if your grandparents don't have enough to worry about-”

“-And you know, teaching qualifications open up the whole world to you! You could teach in international schools, or you could teach English in schools where it's a secondary language-”

“-It's not like their health is getting any better, you know! I keep telling him it's time to stand on his own two feet, he's certainly old enough-”

The moment that their waiter came to take the dishes away, Irma hurriedly excused herself.

In the bathroom (one of those spotless white ones with tiny shell-shaped soaps and embossed toilet paper because of course, rich people) Irma took a few moments to collect herself, staring at her reflection in dismay. She'd done her best to look presentable, but she still stuck out like a sore thumb in this kind of environment. Her dress was a little tight since the last time she'd worn it was for graduation, and her choker was crooked. Her bun was already starting to look lopsided, the redness of her cheeks was starting to show through the base Cornelia had applied that morning...

“Why am I not as perfect as the folks out there?” she muttered to herself, eyes narrowing as she glared at her reflection. She reached for one of the shell-shaped hand soaps and began to pick it with the edge of her fingernail. Absently, the faucet turned and water began to gush out, thrumming to the beat of her frustration.

After a few minutes of self-loathing and contemplation, she heard the sound of the door open behind her, and saw a flash of Irish green fabric, before Cornelia came up behind her, a vision of concern. She startled as the small army of water gushing from the faucet turned on her, almost letting out a hiss of steam, before Irma quickly called it off, allowing it to taper down the drain and out of sight.

“Irma, are you okay? My parents thought I should check on you in case the wine didn't agree with you, but...”

“Yeah, it isn't the wine,” Irma sighed. “It's this whole place. I can't fucking believe your dad called this place rustic on the way here.”

“He doesn't know the meaning of the word,” Cornelia agreed with a giggle. She wrapped her arms around Irma, leaning down to rest her chin on her shoulder. “You look amazing tonight.”

“Really?” Irma sighed. “I don't feel it. Or is this a classic 'lying to your girlfriend's face so she doesn't start crying in a stupidly fancy bathroom' tactic?”

“Well, it wouldn't be a great start to the meal.” Cornelia pressed a kiss to her jaw. “But I'm serious. You look great.”

“I'm practically bursting out of this dress. My tits are fighting for freedom. And my hair is coming undone and my stupid face is getting stupid red!”

“Of course it is, you've been drinking,” Cornelia said, rolling her eyes fondly. “And your face is the furthest thing from stupid, so don't even start.”

“I'm past the point of starting, Corny, I'm waist-fucking-deep in it. Look at this damn soap.” She gestured aggressively towards a shrivelled pebble in the basin. “That was shaped like a fucking seashell when I came in here and I picked and picked at it and now it looks like, I don't know, a really tiny golf ball?”

“Wow. Okay, let's take a step back from the soap.” Cornelia spun her around and rested her hands on her shoulders. “Irma, you look wonderful tonight. Seriously, you do, and I hate that going to this stupid dinner has made you so worked up.”

“It's not just the dinner.” Irma frowned up at her so-tall-it-was-unfair girlfriend. “Look at us. I mean, really look. We're like chalk and cheese, except, you're too pretty to be chalk. We're like – I don't know! An oil painting and cheese! I don't belong here eating food so fancy I can't pronounce it with wine I'm too weak to drink and in a dress that's too tiny for my damn good. You might fit into this magazine-spread life where everything is minimalist and perfect and velvet but I just don't. I saw it in the mirror this morning and I saw it in the mirror again just now. Are you honestly okay with that?”

“Why are you asking me this?” Cornelia asked, the smile gone from her face. “I love you. I love having you in my life. Sure, I like the nice material stuff sometimes, but if you think for one second that I'd put that stuff before you – before us – then the wine has definitely gone to your head.”

Irma huffed. After a beat, she muttered, ��Rich people wine is ridiculous.”

“Agreed. Now, listen to me. We're too deep into this relationship to be hitting insecurities over stuff like this, got it? You know I come from money. You wanted to come on this trip with me. Unfortunately, that means seeing the way my family lives up close and personal. I just want you to remember that doesn't define me, or how I feel about you. I want you here. Okay?”

“I hate when you're being reasonable,” Irma groaned. She hugged Cornelia tight.

“Oof. Heh, don't tell me you're drunk already, we have the rest of a dinner to get through.”

“Are you gonna tell your parents tonight?” Irma mumbled into Cornelia's waist.

Cornelia hummed uncertainly. “Maybe. I don't know.”

“Well, remember I still love you. If you don't wanna come out here in this stupid fancy restaurant, no pressure. We'll make it happen some other time.”

“Hey, no need to comfort me, you're the one feeling insecure,” Cornelia teased. Irma lifted her head up to protest, and was met with Cornelia's lips pressing against her forehead.

“Ugh, you're too cute,” whined Irma. “If I weren't wearing heels I would go on my tiptoes and kiss you. And if you weren't wearing heels, we might actually be fucking level for once.”

“Thanks for clarifying that,” Cornelia quipped. “Not to worry, I can accommodate you.”

She leaned down and cupped Irma's cheeks, pulling her into a kiss.

The sound of the bathroom door abruptly shutting ended the sickeningly sweet moment, and they jolted apart. Lillian stood there, wide-eyed.

“Uhhh. Mom told me to come get you two, the main courses are out...” She blinked a few times. “Are you guys... lesbians?”

“Lillian,” Cornelia started, voice strained.

“I'm a lesbian,” Irma said with a shrug and an awkward chuckle.

“So you called me ignorant earlier even though you really are gay?”

“Ignorance is ignorance, sis.”

“Lillian, please don't tell Mom and Dad about this,” Cornelia pleaded. “I'm going to tell them myself, I just haven't had time to yet.”

Lillian folded her arms and huffed.

“I can't believe your mystery guy is just Irma.”

“Oh, ouch?”

Cornelia let go of Irma and approached Lillian.

“I'm serious. Can you please promise me you won't say anything?”

Lillian shrugged.

“I guess. I mean, I don't care about it. Not like they'd believe me anyway.” Seeing Cornelia's pinched expression, she sighed loudly. “All right, no. No, I won't say anything. So you can stop looking at me like that! Now come on, or Mom will be next to find us in here.”

As she pushed open the door to leave, she turned back.

“Also, Irma, you've got lipstick on your face. Hard to play dumb when the evidence is right there on your forehead.”

“When did she become such a smartass?” Irma muttered as Cornelia fished around in her clutch, bringing out a make-up wipe. “Look, don't panic. Lillian might be a pain, but she respects your business. Probably. I mean, I don't know her that well, but it's none of her business right? She knows that.”

“How did she seem to you?” Cornelia asked, chewing her lip. “Uncomfortable? Freaked out? D-Disgusted?”

“None. It was the same kind of grossed out she got when she caught you making out with Peter for the first time, I reckon. It was sibling disgust, not, y'know, her being a phobe.”

“Are you sure?” Cornelia fretted.

“Super sure. Now come on, you heard what she said. Lets go back before your mom drags us back by the ears.”

Irma reached over to squeeze her hand and didn't let go until they were out of the bathroom and in sight of the Hales. Elizabeth turned and shot them a disapproving look, motioning them back over, and Harold's face lit up with a delighted smile.

“I was starting to think the two of you had fallen in!” he joked, as they took their seats. “Is everything all right?”

“Oh, everything's fine,” Cornelia promised, a lie rolling effortlessly from her tongue as Irma stared down at the steak au poivre in front of her. “Irma just smudged her mascara and needed me to come to her rescue.”

“Ah, I see. Surely it shouldn't take that long though?” Elizabeth turned to Lillian. “Were they taking selfies?”

“Oh, they were having a gay old time in there,” Lillian deadpanned.

Cornelia froze. Irma dared to look up from her food to stare daggers at Lillan.

A moment passed, and Harold shrugged.

“Well, I'll never understand it, myself. But the youth of today are always finding beauty in everything! They can make moments last a lifetime! And I'm envious that an entire generation has learned to take pictures from an angle that certainly appear more flattering in post-production...”

As his speech continued, the tension melted away. Elizabeth raised her eyebrows at the two of them, as if to silently chastise them for sending Harold on a spiel about technological advancements, before tucking into her food.

Cornelia swiftly kicked Lillian under the table, but all she got back in response was an impish grin.

…

“Urgh, I'm full to burst.”

A now pyjama-clad Irma flopped face down on the pull-out bed, before rolling onto her side and burping softly into the back of her hand.

“I told warned you against dessert, if you recall,” Cornelia said with a grin, pulling her nightgown over her head.

“Yeah, but they had cheesecake. You know I'm weak for cheesecake, Corny.”

“That I do.” Cornelia lay down beside her. “I was a bundle of nerves the whole night.”

“Aw, come here.” Irma pulled Cornelia close, combing her fingers through her hair. “Lillian was just being a brat, that's all. She's got dirt on you, of course she's gonna poke a little fun. But she wasn't about to out you or anything.”

“I know,” Cornelia groaned. “I know. But she's on thin ice, I'm telling you now!”

“Well, the sooner you get it off your chest, the sooner she'll lose that power over you,” Irma pointed out. She yawned. “I'm pooped. Can you turn the light off? And then come spoon me?”

“Sure, your highness,” teased Cornelia, prying Irma's hands off her waist. As she wandered over to the light switch near the hallway, she caught sight of Lillian leaving the bathroom. The two stood there in silence for a few moments, before Cornelia uttered, “Hi.”

“Hi.” Lillian shifted from one foot to the other awkwardly. “Hey, Cornelia?”

“Yeah?”

“Um. I know I didn't say it at the restaurant, but... I don't like, mind or anything. About you and Irma.”

Relief washed over her.

“You don't?”

“No! And you should stop caring that somebody does, you know? Mom and Dad are whatever. I don't know if they'd care about it. But, it shouldn't matter if we mind or not, that's my point. It's about you and Irma, not about the rest of us. Although, since you're a lesbian now, I wish you had better taste in girls. I've seen her eat peanut butter out of the jar with her fingers,” Lillian pointed out, pulling a face.

Cornelia, stunned by the overload of information, leaned back against the wall.

“With her fingers?”

“Yup. It was our house peanut butter, too!”

Cornelia buried her head in her hands. “Oh my god. If I didn't love her so damn much that would for sure be a deal breaker. Also, I'm not a lesbian.”

“You're not?”

“No. I loved Peter, remember?”

Lillian pouted. “Yeah. I miss him.”

“I know you do, you remind me all the time.” Cornelia squared her shoulders. “Lillian, I'm pansexual.”

Lillian raised an eyebrow. “Pansexual?”

“Yes. Pansexual. I... fancy people regardless of whether they're a guy, a girl, or nonbinary.”

“Nonbinary?”

“The internet is a great place to learn about this stuff, since you're on the track to being an ally now.”

Lillian giggled.

“Yeah, I guess. Well, okay. So you're not gay, you're... what's the short of it? Pan?”

Cornelia nodded wordlessly.

“Okay. Cool. You're pan. And Irma's your girlfriend. And she's a lesbian?”

“Yes. You caught on fast.”

With a shrug, Lillian said simply, “It wasn't that hard to grasp. You're pan, Irma's gay, you're dating. That's that.”

Cornelia's mouth opened and closed a few times. At last, she uttered, “You made that seem really easy.”

“I'm a smart and socially aware kid,” Lillian said proudly, hands on her hips. Her smug expression softened. “And I'm happy you're happy. I was kinda thinking, cause you never mentioned your 'mystery uni boyfriend', that maybe you didn't really like him. I'm glad it's just a mix up.”

Cornelia's heart swelled, and she stepped towards Lillian, hugging her tight.

“You're a good sister.”

“And you're a clingy sister, god!”

They bid goodnight and Cornelia climbed into bed beside Irma, who had her back to her and was softly groaning. She yelped as Cornelia wriggled under the covers.

“Holy crap, Corny, your feet are colder than Mount fucking Thanos!”

“So warm me up.”

“Sorry, you got the wrong guardian for that party trick.”

Cornelia rolled her eyes fondly and reached around to spoon her.

“Geez, you ate too much. Your stomach feels like a rock.”

“Don't bully me, that was rich people food! How many times am I gonna get to eat like that again, huh?”

“If you'd just let me take you fancy places-” Cornelia pointed out.

“You know I hate fancy places!” whined Irma, punctuated by another burp. “Ugh. Just cuddle me to sleep, jerk.”

“Who are you calling a jerk, jerk?”

Cornelia obliged nonetheless, letting her body wrap around Irma's with a familiarity that had adapted over the years; from guardian sleepovers to family vacations to just the two of them drunkenly sprawled out in Cornelia's dorm. And now here they were, fitting together like jigsaw pieces, water and earth.

“Sweet dreams,” Cornelia whispered, pressing a kiss to the back of Irma's neck.

“Keep your lips to yourself, Corny,” mumbled Irma sleepily, snuggling closer all the same.

#w.i.t.c.h. #w.i.t.c.h #cornirma #irmelia #femslash february #cornelia x irma #irma x cornelia #cornelia hale #irma lair #irma/cornelia #cornelia/irma #writing

[a-writers-writing]

How It Began

A/N: yall miss me? ever since i left the newsies fandom, this blog has been kinda dead. ive been writing a lot more stuff for myself but not feeling thats its been good enough to post here. WELL im starting to get back into newsies because fuck i really miss some parts of this fandom... but im back!!! hell yeah!!! enjoy this!!!!! yall really better get used to pigeon of you arent already cuz that boy still is my #1 character.... also hey hes not. a self insert anymore hes his own darn character. any italian might be wrong bc im a dumb american and have to use google translate

How Oliver Fitzgerald came to be Pigeon the Manhattan newsie

Not edited 

Mid winter was hell for any kid living on the streets. Harsh wind cut through thin clothes like a newly sharpened knife.

It was even worse if you were running as fast as you could, slipping on ice as you tried to find an alleyway to tuck into. This was currently the case for Oliver. He had only been in New York for a few days after he ran away from home, but had already found himself in trouble. The other street kids in Brooklyn didn’t take too kind to him and now, in Manhattan, he had gotten tangled up with the Delancey brothers. They had asked him questions he was unable to answer, as he could barely speak English. When he gave a muttered reply in Italian, they battered on the insults. Oliver ran away, but the brothers refused to let him get away.

Luckily he was smaller and faster than both of them, making for an easy escape even as they chased him. By the time he had found a place to duck away he was out of breath and exhausted. He could hear their yells in the distance, but instead of continuing to run, he sat on the ground with his knees to his chest and slowly slipped to sleep.

Oliver didn’t know how long he was asleep for, but it couldn’t have been long if the dusting of snow on his shoulders gave anything away. He slowly lifted his head from where it was tucked into his arms to inspect what had awoken him.

A boy was kneeling in front of him, worry etched on his face. There was a slingshot tucked into his waistband and he was removing the light jacket that he wore. “You’se awake, thank God. I thought you had frozen ta’ death.”

Oliver furrowed his brow and leaned away from him. Who was this boy? Oliver had never seen him or met him, so why was he being so nice?

The boy noticed this and softened. “I ain’t gonna hurt you, kid. You’se okay. Here.” He held out his jacket for Oliver, who just eyed it cautiously. “You’se gonna become a kid-sicle if you don’t take it.”

Oliver reached out with a shaking hand and took it, then wrapped it around himself. It didn’t provide much warmth, but it was better than nothing.

“Can you walk? You ain’t hurt or nothin’, right?” Finch stood, offering his hand to the small boy.

Pidge took his hand and slowly brought himself to his feet, though his legs were like jelly and the soles of his feet ached. He braced himself against the wall, eyes shut as he fought through the pain.

“You really ain’t lookin’ too good… Here, get on my back. I ain’t gonna drop you or nothin’, just bring you somewhere safe. You can trust me, kid.” Finch knelt down again so Oliver could get on his back. After a minute, Oliver gave in.

Finch lifted him easily, arms looped securely under Oliver’s legs while Oliver wrapped his arms around Finch’s shoulders.

“So you got a name, kid?” Finch asked. He felt Oliver shake his head and nodded. “That’s okay, we’se gonna find you one then. There’s gonna be a lotta other guys at the lodge, just a warnin’. I know a few new kids ain’t too fond of a lotta people around. I’ll make sure they give you some space.” Finch continued to ramble, not even noticing Oliver had fallen asleep.

The noise in the lodge is what woke him again. Yelling and laughter caused him to hide his face in Finch’s shoulder, his grip on his shirt tightening.

Finch tried his best to look at Oliver and adjusted him slightly. “You’se okay, don’t worry. They ain’t gonna hurt you,” he whispered.

“Who’s ya’ new friend, Finch?” Elmer called over. The attention of the room shifted and suddenly grew quiet.

“Found ‘im nearly frozen to death afta’ I finished sellin’.” Finch looked back at Oliver before looking back to the group. “He’s kinda skittish an’ don’t talk. Ain’t got a name, either.” The group nodded, a few eyes lingering on Oliver. “I figure he’ll take my bed an’ I can teach ‘im the ropes a’ sellin’.”

Slowly the group went back to their activities, though they were much quieter now. Finch carried Oliver upstairs and to his bunk. There, he carefully set the smaller boy down. “They ain’t too bad, huh? You’ll get used to them pretty quick.”

Oliver nodded and took off Finch’s coat, handing it back to him. He was still shivering, but not as much as before.

“How ‘bout you keep this on ‘til we find you some new clothes. Can’t have you freezin’ out on me yet.” Finch smiled and wrapped the jacket around him again. “I’se gonna be right back. I think Romeo might have somethin’ ‘round your size. Stay here.” He gently patted Oliver’s hair before starting out of the room.

Oliver pulled his knees to his chest and looked around the empty room, a pang of anxiety sending chills down his spine. He knew Finch said he would back, but what if he didn’t? What if he was trapped somewhere he’d never been with a bunch of boys he’s never met that were all so loud and rowdy? He stood and headed to the window, looking out to the street below and picking at a string on the jacket.

A single pigeon flew up to the windowsill and sat next to him, it’s head tilting. Oliver smiled at the small bird. “Ciao, amico. Come va?”

“So you do speak, just not English,” said a voice from the doorway. Oliver jumped and turned, causing the bird to fly away. His face was flush with embarrassment and eyes were wide with fear. Anyone else that had heard him talk wasn’t too happy with it… He looked over the figure, his mind racing.

It was a tall boy with a mess of curly blond hair, his hat securely pulled over it. A cigar was trapped between his pointer and middle finger, tapping against his palm. Next to him was Finch with clothes draped over his arm.

“Don’t look so scared, kid. Race ain’t gonna hurt you. In fact, he’s the guy you’re gonna wanna talk to if you speak Italian.” Finch smiled and set the clothes on the bed.

Oliver looked to the boy— Race— with the same wide eyes, but the fear was gone and replaced with hope. Race smiled at him. “Ti piacciono gli uccelli?”

“S-sì. I piccioni sono i miei preferiti,” Oliver replied, now moving to fidget with the button on his shirt.

“How ‘bout the name Pigeon, then? Seems pretty fittin’.” Race leaned back against the door frame.

He nodded with a grin. Finch laughed softly. “Finch and Pigeon. How perfect.”

Oliver— no, he wasn’t Oliver anymore. He could finally leave that name behind. Pigeon could tell this was the place he could call home. He would certainly take a while to get used to everyone, but this place seemed like a good place to start.

#Words from the writer #newsies #pigeon #pigeon fitzgerald

[melonmork]

college jungwoo pt 1

alright my honeys are u ready??💕🌷🌸

~okay i dont feel like i know jungwoo as well as the other members since i havent known him as long but im gonna do my best!!

~jungwoo is in his sophomore year studying to be a veterinarian so hes always very busy since he's taking science-intensive classes

~he loves biology. it's easily his best class; he makes As on nearly every assignment and he focuses super hard during labs, but this also means he's almost always either in the campus library or cafe studying or writing lab reports

~his junior friend doyoung always has to drag him away from studying or writing because jungwoo will forget to eat, he'll only drink lattes or hot chocolate for an entire day

~jungwoo resists doyoung but he's always thankful once they're eating together and jungwoo has the chance to see his friends and relax. he's a workaholic, but he enjoys his friends' company immensely when they manage to drag him away from his textbooks

~you're also a sophomore! u know jungwoo because you had bio lab with him in freshman year and he was often your lab partner

~you honestly felt bad when he voluntarily partnered with you because you felt like you werent as good at bio as him. whenever he approached you first about partnering up, you felt like he did it out of pity. after all, he's a sweet boy and he even helped you on your calc homework after labs even though he wasnt in calc

~but you loved being partnered up with him :^) jungwoo would subtly take charge of the lab because he got super excited about being hands-on with the scientific material he was learning about

~he would quietly and patiently help you set up equipment, reaching beakers from high shelves for you without teasing you, lighting burners for you bc those things are scary as heck (jungwoo: is it okay if i do that? i dont want you to get hurt :-o)

~one time he even put your apron on for you and tied the strings behind you (after asking your permission, of course) and you could have sworn you saw a cute dusting of pink on his cheeks as he asked

~u have not forgotten anything about that moment,,,

~also, being his lab partner meant you got to see his cute smile up close!!! actually all year during labs you would glance his way constantly, admiring the soft features of his profile and the way his eyebrows would furrow and he'd purse his lips when he was super concentrated on a task

~sometimes, every now and again, he'd catch you watching him and the two of you would blush and look away and pretend like it never happened

~through the year you two became closer and you exchanged numbers and would send each other notes and ask about each other's lab reports

~eventually the texting ventured away from school and once he even invited you to get smoothies with him at the end of second semester

~but over the summer, you two fell out of touch :~( and this year you didnt have any classes together

~honestly, you missed him a lot. you have chem lab this year and your regular chem partner is sweet and helpful but not as,,, well,,, enchanting as jungwoo was, so you admittedly dont enjoy lab as much as last year

~in fact, u dont even really see him until one night when you're in the library printing out a two page essay you wrote (last minute) for literature

~you're waiting by the printer, wearing sweats, a hoodie, and teddy bear slippers, literally nodding off as you wait for this old printer to crank out those pages

~after a few seconds it starts humming loudly and you perk up, ready to snatch those pages and trudge back to your dorm so you can go the heck to sleep

~the printer spits out two pages and you go to grab them but ,...more pages keep coming out... and more and more and more and you're standing there in front of the printer like ????? what is going on????

~you dont see anyone else in the library and most of the computers are visible from where you're standing so you're thoroughly confused

~you wait for a bit longer as the printer finishes up and for a second you hesitate to grab papers that obviously arent yours but... maybe yours are in there? so you grab the stack and look at the name

~your heart skips a beat when you read the name on the paper.... "jungwoo?" you read aloud

~and you jump in surprise when you hear a small "hi" from behind you

~feeling your cheeks heat up, you sheepishly turn to face him, embarrassed to be seeing The Kim Jungwoo, the sweetheart angel boy who you havent seen in so long, while wearing sweats and a hoodie and slippers

~but it's okay cause sweetheart angel boy is also wearing sweats, a hoodie, and slippers..... and wow does jungwoo look exhausted :~( your embarrassment wanes as you get a good look at his softly smiling face

~he has exaggerated dark circles under his eyes and his skin isnt as clear as you remember it being last year, his hair looks like he's been running his hands through it all day, and his smile is a little bit less bright than it used to be

~but he still looks ethereal... his hoodie framing his wide shoulders so cutely, strands of his soft black hair falling haphazardly over his forehead and his pretty mouth forming that warm smile of his, framing his cute teeth and Oh My God your little crush on him has not gone away at all

~"jungwoo... how,, have you been?" you manage, heat rising to your cheeks again

~"ive been alright... sort of overwhelmed this semester!" he laughs softly and glances down at his feet, then looks back up at you, "but im okay. how are you?" he looks you in the eyes and smiles again and your stomach does a lil flip

~"im pretty good! i dont like my lab partner this year near as much as last year, though"

~it's quiet for a moment after u say that and u realize what u just said and u feel ur face burning up now because whY thE Heck did u just blurt that out oh no hes gonna be creeped out oh no

~but his smile widens and his entire face softens and he lets out a genuine little laugh

~"yeah, me neither. i... miss you" he says, hesitating a little and looking down at his feet again

~your heart warms up and ur stomach does that lil flip again and you smile and for a few seconds it's quiet and you finally say "me too." and then it's quiet again

~then u remember that you're still holding jungwoo's enormous stack of papers in your hands so you shuffle over to him and hand them over and he takes them, apologizing for making you hold them for so long and you laugh and tell him he didnt make you carry them

~and u stand in front of each other for another few seconds, awkwardly wondering whether to continue talking or to move along

~finally, jungwoo says he has to get going and that it was nice to see you and he flashes you a tired smile before making his way out of the library, laden with a huge bookbag and a textbook in his arms as well as all of his papers

~you watch him go, feeling a little bit sad that nothing more became of ur lil run in with jungwoo

~u print our ur essay and make ur way back to ur dorm, ur heart and eyelids both feeling a bit heavier than when you went to the library, despite having seen sweetheart angel boy again after so long

~the next morning you get breakfast with ur roommate and the head to literature and turn in your essay, trying not to think about jungwoo cause u dont want to fall back into that crush especially since u wont be seeing him again,,,

~u do a pretty good job of circumventing any lingering thoughts of (sweetheart angel boy) jungwoo from the night before

~that is, until 11:48 AM

~when you get a text

from: jungwoo 🐻

good morning!! I'm sorry I wasn't able to talk longer last night. are you busy sometime after 5 today? I'd love to catch up 😊

~u, in the cafeteria, mouth hanging open: Yes

~n then you realize that u probably should send that as a text ,,, so you quickly respond yes!!! i would love to!!! im free at 6

~and u put ur phone down and start eating but like ,, a minute later ur phone vibrates again

from: jungwoo 🐻

Yay!!! 😆 Let's get smoothies again! 🥤see you there at 6!

~u send him a confirmation text and then finish ur lunch while ur heart soars because wOw he actually does want to see you!!! wow!!! and this time u wont be wearing slippers!!!

~and u cant deny that u also get excited about the idea that jungwoo will also not be wearing pajamas or slippers ,,, u always liked jungwoo's style,,

~all day after that all u can think about is jungwoo's soft voice last night when he told you he misses you... it was so forward of him and it makes ur heart skip a beat even just thinking back on it... is he always so forward? you wonder

~around 5:50 you start walking to the smoothie place, feeling nervous but much less silly without ur teddy bear slippers

~jungwoo's exact thought at 5:50 while hes sitting at a table in the smoothie place waiting for u: their teddy bear slippers were so cute 😣

~once u arrive he gets up to greet u and u guys awkwardly say hi and stand in front of each other and then get in line to order smoothies

~u two are a little bit clumsy with your conversation at first, speaking at the same time and then laughing and telling the other to go first

~but eventually, once u two are sitting across from each other at a little table and sipping on ur smoothies, u have a steady conversation about school and sophomore year and your friends and new roommates

~the conversation dies down again after a while and u two sip on ur smoothies and u wonder what u could say to continue talking to jungwoo because you're having such a nice time and ur heart is so happy to hear his soft voice again... u hadnt realized how much u missed it until this evening

~but before you can think of anything to say, jungwoo rests his chin in his palms, his elbows propped up on the table and he looks at you, making eye contact and doing that soft smile of his

~u have to take a second to remember how to breathe

~after a moment of gazing at u he sighs

~"im so happy to see you again, i really have missed you" and he smiles, his cheeks getting a bit pink but otherwise not rlly seeming to be embarrassed or shy by what he said and youre a flustered mess !!!!

~u manage to not stutter when u say "me too, jungwoo" and he giggles at your shy expression that you're trying so hard to hide (hes dying inside because youre so freaking cute !!!)

~after u finish ur smoothies, he walks with you back to campus and as you guys are on your way back, you're stopped by doyoung who comes up to you guys with his mouth open wide and his eyebrows raised

~"jungwoo... i just went to the library to look for you and you weren't there so i went to the cafe and you weren't there either and it didnt even occur to me that you werent actually studying... are you... are you two-"

~jungwoo cuts him off with a little shake of his head and explains that u guys were lab partners and friends last year and were just catching up and hes on his way to the library now

~you're kinda confused by the whole exchange bc from what doyoung said, it seems like jungwoo is pretty much always studying and it's odd for him to have gone out and done something other than study in the evening

~and while that thought makes u feel bad for him, u also feel pleased that he chose to spend time with you instead of studying :'~)

~doyoung leaves after a few minutes of him n jungwoo laughing abt something that their friend taeil did earlier that day

~doyoung and jungwoo hug and hold each other's hands until their fingertips are touching, then let their hands fall to their sides again as they say goodnight to each other and you're watching and smiling fondly cause jungwoo is so loving to his friend and it makes your heart swell

~jungwoo turns to u and smiles sheepishly, letting out a little laugh and apologizing for making you wait on him

~you shake your head and tell him you're happy to have met his friend!!

~and his eyes light up and his face brightens into a beaming smile and he tells you that he's so happy that you met doyoung, too

~he walks you back to your dorm building and u two say goodbye and u start to go up the steps when jungwoo calls for you again

~you turn around to see him at the bottom of the steps, smiling up at u and looking a little bit shy but So Handsome (ur heart? mush)

~u walk back down the steps to see him and you're standing on the step in front of him so you're pretty much the same height now and his face is kinda close to urs and both of u have an entire butterfly garden break dancing to dubstep in ur tummies tbh

~"yes?" you ask him, smiling and trying to hide ur nervousness because of the proximity

~"i just wanted to say that i had a lovely time tonight and i want to see you again soon"

~omg sweetheart angel boy makes your heart do acrobatics with his soft sunrise voice and his pretty dark brown eyes looking into your own and the cute shape of his cheeks as he smiles at you

~"let's get dinner this friday?" he continues, his eyes widening a little bit in a hopeful way, his smile widening too

~and you cant help but smile so big, u have to look down at your feet for a second just to regain any semblance of composure u might have had before

~after a second you look up and nod and hold your pinkie out to him

~"pinkie promise" you tell him, and he smiles Even Wider and links his pinkie with yours and touches his thumb to your own and you two stand there like that for a little bit longer than necessary

~finally u both let go and say goodbye for real this time and u walk up the steps to your dorm but u feel like you're floating cause woW sweetheart angel boy kim jungwoo is going to take you out for dinner in three days... friday is in three days...

~both u and jungwoo spend the entire three days in anticipation and almost middle-school-like-giddness because !!!! this is kind of a date right???? like neither of u said it but it's kind of a date????

~doyoung certainly says so and he's been telling all of his and jungwoo's mutual friends

~doyoung: yukhei, guess what? jungwoo has a cute date this friday

~yukhei, in the library, at a table with jungwoo and doyoung: ooooHOhOhoHHOHOHO jungwoo has a DATE!!! get it!!!!!!!!!

~jungwoo, probably: im leaving

~when thursday night rolls around, you're sitting on your bed, typing something up on your laptop and probably watching youtube tbh and your phone dings :^)

from: jungwoo 🐻

I'm excited to see you tomorrow. I'll meet you at the bottom of your stairs at 7 tomorrow night, is that okay?

~you probably forget to respond for like 15 minutes cause u take a screenshot of the text and send it to ur best friend and yell about how nervous and excited you are and when u finally respond, you tell him you're looking forward to it! and you ask him what you should wear

~a few minutes later, you get a response...

#nct #nct u #nct fluff #nct scenarios #nct writing #nct au #nct jungwoo #jungwoo #kim jungwoo #jungwoo fluff #jungwoo scenarios #jungwoo imagines #kpop #nct 2018 #nct empathy #nct dream #nct 127 #i feel sucky adding tags that dont actually apply to this au but like ... i want ppl to find it yknow? #anyways im gonna start working on part two rn #sorry it's so long!!!

[deansoutros]

Black [M]

A/N: hey all, this is my first fic on tumblr. i went with dean and i have a lot of plans for this fic so please so support it ;( i’m sorry if my writing sucks im terrible i know but ive just had this idea in my head for a while so i wanted to put it somewhere. i’m most likely gonna continue it even if ppl dont read it bc i kinda wanna finish it lol. but yeah if you like it pls tell me :) any comments are very much welcomed! btw it starts off boring but i wanted a nice& clear background. i promise it will get better!

characters: dean x oc, zico, crush, rome

genre: angst(ish?), university au

rated: m, alcoholism, stoners(lol), violence, abuse.

chapter one:

  “nayeon!” I dropped the box full of school supplies as I ran to my roommate whom I hadn’t seen all summer. she replied with equal excitement as we hugged each other. we had just moved into a new place for the year and we were both anxious to set up our cute little house. our other two roommates had already arrived and I was the last one, what’s new.

“I missed you!” she cheerfully exclaimed.

“I missed you too!” I replied as I reached down, picking up the box I had dropped.

“come in we have to talk about tonight’s plans!”

she helped me finish carrying the rest of my stuff upstairs, and after sochi had helped me put my room together my phone dinged. I flopped onto my bed and grabbed it. I hadn’t noticed how much the 8 hour drive had exhausted me.

Apt D group chat-

Nayeon: be ready by 10! we all were invited to a sig nu party tonight at 10! we should leave around 10 or 10:30 just to make sure we get there when there’s already people there! school hasn’t started so welcome weekend is about to be crazy!

Sochi: it’s almost 9!! I’m going to get ready rn

Chaeyeon: omg ;( i really want to go but I am so tired from the drive

Nayeon: come out! It’ll be fun

Chaeyeon: tomorrow! tonight I’m just gonna stay in and sleep

Jisu: i just woke up from a nap so i’m down! rest a lot chae!

Chaeyeon: I will, have fun and be safe guys ❤

Sochi: we will bb ❤

and with that I got comfortable in bed, I was so exhausted that I didn’t care that I was still in my jeans and a long t shirt. I heard the girls getting ready to leave before I dozed off completely.

a mixture of screams and melodies woke me up. I was still as tired as ever. I picked up my phone and took a look. it was only 12am. the walls gently vibrated and with every second that passed I became more irritated. the loud music seemed to be coming from the other side of our apartment but when I got up, not surprised, no one was home. I walked into sochi’s room and peaked out her window. a dozen or so people were on our lawn.

“what the hell” I whispered to myself as I saw cans being dropped left and right. my anger grew more and more as i looked around the lawn. a bottle here a can there and…was that puke?

my mouth dropped slightly at the sight and I stormed down the stairs. I swung open the front door, startling a few people in the process. my little legs couldn’t go fast enough to keep up with my anger. within seconds I was in a familiar yet different place. this apartment was a mirror image of ours. everything was the same but on different sides. I looked around before I was grabbed and pulled back.

“what the fu-“

“private party, who do you know?”

I looked up to see a tall, dark haired guy. his eyebrows were thick and his lips were plump but all I could focus on was how much I wanted to hit him.

“I live across in apt d, is this your place?!”

“look, I don’t care where you live, who do you know?”

“what the fuck I don’t want to get into your stupid party!”

“you sure about that?”

“yes I’m fucking sure can you just turn your damn music down? people might be doing something crazy in the middle of the night, like sleeping!” he was amused by my response. his lips curled into a smug smile and he extended his hand.

“I’m zico” he said. I looked at the hand before me then back at him.

“can you just please turn it down and get your people away from our lawn?!”

“woah woah what’s going on? all the yelling above this good ass music? I don’t think so…. who’s this?” another tall guy holding a red cup came closer and he gestured at me as he looked towards zico. he, like zico, had dark hair but he also had a tattoo splattered across the side of his neck that reached down into his shirt. his scent was strong and hit me instantly. he smelled sweet, masked in the familiar scent weed mixed with alcohol. if it wasn’t for the smell of…well college, he would have smelled like heaven.

“she’s our new neighbor and she’s cute but she’s here to complain not to party with me” zico responded, scoffing as he took the red cup from his friend, chugging the last bit of liquid before walking off. I ignored him and looked at the guy before me.

“is this your place? turn it down it’s loud as fuck.” my eyes rolled slightly and my voice had given off an irritated tone. I pushed my way through the crowd and back out the front door and for the second time that night, my arm was grabbed and I was yanked back.

“what the hel-“ it was the guy I had just yelled at.

“what’s your name?” he blurted out and the smell of alcohol filled the air between us. I looked up at him, his hair layed in a simple curl above his left eyebrow and his eyes were glistening and red.

“chayeon” I replied as I lightly tugged my arm away from him. he quickly let go.

“sorry, about that…and the noise. we aren’t usually that loud but it’s our roommate, hyoseob’s birthday.” he was drunk and high, I could tell, but he kept himself so collected. if it wasn’t for his scent or his eyes I would assume he was sober. his cheeks were rosy and flushed like a child’s.

“take a picture, it’ll last longer” he blurted out. fuck, I didn’t even notice that I had been staring at him.

“can you just turn it down a bit please?” I replied, attempting to contain myself from showing embarrassment.

“maybe I should take a picture of you instead? it’d be nice to look at your face everyday” he disregarded my words but damn, that was unexpected and it was difficult to retain my cheeks from flushing.

“yeah sure, anyways, I’m tired so by-“

“hey tired, I’m dean” he extended his hand, his lips curled into the cheesiest smile and a small chuckle escaped his lips. he had been proud of the stupid dad joke he just made.

it took a second for me to look away from him, but i took his hand and gave it a light shake.

“nice to meet you, dean”

“it’s way nicer to meet you chaeyeon” our eyes met as he gave my hand a gentle squeeze, his lips had formed a perfect smile and for a second I was so infatuated with him that I had momentarily forgotten why I came out in the first place.

“why don’t you stay. come inside, have some fun” he had noticed that I was intrigued by him and he purposely teased.

“no thanks” he was amused by my quick response but before he could reply we were interrupted.

“dean? come back inside babe!” a girl swung open the front door and the music escaped. she had shoulder length dark hair and pale skin with huge lips. her body was slim but she was tall, at least taller than me. she had a prominent hourglass figure and god she was pretty.

dean didn’t take his eyes off me as i analyzed the girl at the door. his eyes were glued on me and when i looked back at him he smirked, amused by my reaction.

“coming” he replied, his eyes still on me.

“well goodnight, I’ll see you tomorrow”

“tomorrow?” i asked.

“I live 10 feet away from you so unless you’re planning on avoiding me we will probably run into each often”

“right..” my lips flattened into an awkward smile, as I heard the girl call his name yet again in a whiny manner. i walked back into my house and I felt his eyes on me until the moment I closed the door behind me. I watched through the peep hole as dean went back in, taking the girl’s hand into his and shutting the door behind them. I turned my back to the door and pulled my phone out. as I was about to start texting I was knocked over by the door.

“chae!” jisu ran to me as I got up, rubbing my elbow.

“chae are you okay? I didn’t know you were there I’m sorry!” nayeon exclaimed and I chuckled, nudging jisu to let go of me.

“I’m fine, it’s not your fault don’t worry” for the second time that night, alcohol filled the air surrounding me. sochi and nayeon burst into laughter as soon as they saw that I was fine.

“ha ha so funny guys” I cracked a smile and rolled my eyes playfully.

“what the hell were you doing there?” nayeon barely managed to say, her laughs conquering her.

“nothing! I was just looking at how nasty the lawn looks now” my words paused the laughter filling the room and jisu walked over to the window, peeping through.

“they’re having fun tonight, but our lawn looks like crap now” she sighed, irritated. I could tell she was sober, as she usually was when we went out.

“we’ll beat them up tomorrow” sochi said as she took my hand and nayeon’s, dragging us upstairs.

“come on jisu! MOVIE NIGHT!” she yelled.

“shut up” I laughed, pushing her towards her room and she whined, mumbling to herself.

“I’m going to bed, night all” nayeon said as she stumbled into her room, jisu following behind to help her.

“I got nayeon, you got sochi?” I nodded in response as I walked into sochi’s room only to find her on the floor mumbling yet again.

“c’mon let’s get you in your pj’s and ready for bed” I grabbed her pj’s from a drawer, tossing them to her as she got up.

“can you close my window please, they’re loud” I went over to the window, taking a look before closing it. something near the bushes caught my eye. a tall light haired guy was outside making out with some girl. her short dark hair and tall, curvy frame were barely familiar but I was almost certain it was the girl who called dean back in earlier. it wasn’t very long before kissing turned to other stuff. there were tons of people on the lawn but I doubt anyone was sober enough to see them.

“chae?” I closed the window and the blinds, walking over to sochi.

“what’s up?”

“why were you staring out the window weirdo”

I rolled my eyes playfully and pushed her onto her bed.

“shut up and go to sleep”

“yes mom!”

I turned her light off and closed the door. once I entered my room I fell into bed, thinking about what happened in the span of only 40 minutes. was that dean’s girlfriend? did I just witness her cheating on him? why the fuck am I even thinking about this I literally met him half an hour ago. I tried to clear my head of the useless things I had been questioning and I eventually fell asleep.

the next morning I had gotten up early and went to the gym. thankfully it was early enough that everyone was still asleep. when I returned home I saw zico outside, removing all the cans and cups from our lawn. I hopped out of the car and walked towards him, from the looks of it he had been at it for a while because the lawn was almost spotless.

“oh, hi! I’m zico, sorry about the mess” he pressed his lips together and embarrassment flushed his face. I curled my lips into an amused smile, an unintentional laugh escaped and confusion crossed his face.

“you don’t remember meeting me last night?” his eyes wandered, trying to remember.

“no..sorry. I’m sober zico and I’m sorry if drunk zico said or did anything dumb last night. I hope it wasn’t a bad first impression”

“it’s alright, drunk zico met mad, sleep deprived chaeyeon so tell him she’s sorry for her attitude”

he smiled, relieved to find out he hadn’t done anything too stupid. I reached down and grabbed a couple cans, helping him pick up. the front door swung open from behind me and out came dean with the same girl from last night. her hair was messed up and her makeup was smeared but she still looked extremely pretty. dean’s hair wasn’t any better and he was carrying a pair of heels in one hand and car keys in the other. by the look on his face it was obvious that he wasn’t expecting to see me.

“dean! this is chae-“

“chaeyeon” dean finished the sentence for zico and the girl with him glanced at dean then at me and back at him.

“I remember you from last night” he nodded slightly and gestured toward the person next to him.

“this is heoyang, my girlfriend” he gently pushed her in my direction and she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear before extending her hand to me.

“hi it’s nice to meet you, we’ll most likely be seeing each other often” I took her hand and forced a smile.

“yeah, for sure” there was a moment of awkward silence. all I was thinking about was what I saw last night. this was none of my business but if I was in dean’s position I would want someone to tell me, but again, I’m not dean and I don’t even know him.

dean cleared his throat and walked closer to heoyang.

“I’ll be back soon I’m going to go drop her off” he looked at zico before he headed off toward a very expensive looking sports car with heoyang wrapped around his arm. once the car drove off zico looked at me, eyes squinting.

“what?”

“what happened with you and dean? he never acts so awkward in front of people” I shrugged and tossed him a can, walking towards my front door.

“maybe it’s because I just met him last night? I don’t know” zico stopped me before I closed the door behind me.

“hold up, we’re having a bbq in a couple of hours, you should join us and maybe your roommates too so we could all meet”

“yeah, sure, I’ll tell them right now” I smiled at zico. I liked him and I could tell we would vibe off each other really well. I walked in and the girls were all eating breakfast despite it being close to 12PM.

“chae come eat” jisu pointed to the empty place on the table with her fork that had a waffle on the end. I shaked my head and went into the kitchen to refill my water bottle.

“I grabbed a sandwich on my way home, thanks. by the way are you guys busy today? the neighbors invited us over for a bbq a little later” I walked back to the table, taking a seat and stealing a slice of banana from nayeon’s plate.

“no, I don’t have anything to do today. are they cute at least?” I smacked sochi’s shoulder and she rubbed it.

“I’ve only met two of them. One has a girlfriend and the other…well yeah he’s cute. not my type but he is good looking”

“nice, I’m there already” nayeon blurted out. I rolled my eyes playfully and made my way up to my room.

“I’m going to shower and get ready”

after I had showered I changed into a pair of light jean shorts and a racerback mustard tank top that exposed just a tad of midriff. I laid my hair down and put on some makeup. I loved makeup but I wasn’t very good at it so most of the time I avoided eyeshadow. lashes, liner and eyebrows were always a must oh and of course a nice highlight. it was now around 3PM and the girls were still getting ready as well.

there was a loud knock on the front door and I grabbed my phone, slipping it into my pocket before I went downstairs to open the door. it was zico. he looked..cleaner. his tank top exposed his toned arms, nice view.

“hey the food is almost ready, come out!” I nodded and called out for the rest of the girls. they came almost immediately which was unusual but since this involved guys they were all for it.

“sochi, nayeon, jisu, this is zico” they all exchanged hello’s and handshakes. we all followed zico out to his lawn where there were two picnic tables with the grill next to it. not to my surprise dean and heoyang were on one table eating and two other guys were sitting next to them. they got up once they spotted us and introduced themselves. hyoseob, who requested we call him crush because he “crushes hearts”, christain, and of course dean and heoyang. we all took a seat on the empty table and zico brought us burgers and chips. zico sat with us and soon crush and christain joined us too. we conversed, exchanging majors and where we were from. turns out zico and sochi lived in the same city but attended different high schools. they began to get along really well and exchanged numbers, social media etc.

while they were talking, dean had left for a bit to take heoyang home. once he returned the sun was beginning to set. he took a seat next to me, nayeon and jisu looked at me before returning to their conversation with the other two boys. 

“hey so about last night" 

“what about last night?” i said

“i tend to get flirty when i’m drunk, so sorry about that. don’t get it wrong i’m a loyal guy”

you might be loyal but she isn’t.

“it’s fine i didn’t think much of it anyways" 

"yeah but still..” i patted his shoulder and grinned. 

“don’t worry, i get it. my lips are sealed. i won’t tell your girl that you want a picture of me to look at everyday" 

he dropped his mouth slightly but with a smile. he chuckled in relief and passed me his phone. 

"how about i take your number instead of your picture. i heard you say you’re a chemistry major and i could use a lot of help with my chem class this semester. i’m a physics major" 

"aren’t physics people really good at chemistry?" 

"not this one” he joked. i took his phone anyways and inserted my digits. 

“i charge $20 an hour on weekdays and $25 an hour on weekends but for you, there’s a special, i’ll charge you $25 whether it’s weekday or weekend" 

"wow what an amazing deal, i can’t refuse that” he laughed at my dumb joke and took his phone back. 

“so why did heoyang leave so soon? it’s only 5:30” wow did i really ask that.

“uh she said she wasn’t feeling very well”

“oh well i hope she gets better soon” the atmosphere was so awkward now. i fucked up, whoops. it didn’t last long, we soon got into the nerdiest conversation about science.

we began the new semester the next day and as weeks went by, I had been tutoring dean in chemistry and he had been helping me in physics. aside from our school life, we had also gotten close in terms of friendship. I learned that his favorite color was black, he had a secret crush on selena gomez, and he didn’t tell me this but it was very obvious that his family was very wealthy. he always paid for meals and was constantly buying expensive clothing. zico and sochi had begun flirting a lot and they liked hanging out with all of us as an excuse to be together so the two apartments had become good friends in a short period of time. dean, christian and I didn’t go out on the weekends as much as the others did because most of the time we were studying. over the course of the 5 weeks that flew by I had gotten a text from nayeon. she explained to me that she didn’t know what to do because she saw heoyang hooking up with some random dude at a party one night. I told her to keep it to herself but the guilt was almost choking me. I managed to keep shut and so did nayeon.

zico’s birthday was just around the corner and a party had been well planned. this time I would be enjoying it instead of yelling at them to shut up. we tried to keep it a surprise but zico figured it out quickly. the day of zico’s birthday we had a nice dinner, which dean had sponsored, and later that night the party was on. the music was blasting and people showed up out of nowhere. it was only 11PM and the whole place was packed. the scene outside the house was way too familiar and I laughed at myself at the memory.

nayeon jisu and sochi were all dancing . sochi had begun feeling those shots from earlier kick in. she was making zico’s birthday very happy. I stayed near the kitchen, sipping on my drink and watching my roommates being stupid while dancing. don’t get me wrong I was feeling those shots too but I wasn’t ready to show my wild side to zico or any of his roommates. dean had stayed with me most of the night when he wasn’t with heoyang. she kept leaving and coming back claiming her friends were texting her about drama. I could tell dean wasn’t believing it and neither was I, but he didn’t say anything to her.

it got hot in there so fast and soon enough I couldn’t stand being in a tight long sleeve.

“I’ll be right back I’m going to change, it’s super hot” dean nodded and took a sip of his drink.

“ok but come back”

“I will” I chuckled. I headed out the door and the cool air hit me. it felt so nice, I stood outside for a moment and took in the air. as I was about to open the door to my place, I heard something coming from the basketball court that was connected to our lawn. it was dark and I couldn’t see much. I was also drunk which didn’t help. I walked a little closer and the image became clearer. it was heoyang, she was pinned against the fence with her skirt up. there was a guy in front of her and I didn’t have to look long before I could figure out what was happening. I couldn’t control myself and within seconds I was filled with rage. I walked over to her faster than I’ve ever walked, or at least it felt like that. without warning I grabbed her hair and yanked it back.

“what the fuck are you doing” she pried my grip off her hair and shoved me back. I stumbled a little but managed to keep standing.

“don’t fucking touch me you little bitch” she fixed her skirt and with every second that passed my anger grew and without hesitation I splashed my drink on her and she charged at me. the guy she was with held her back and the noise we caused made tons of people come out. she was cursing at me left and right. at this point I didn’t care anymore. I shoved the guy off her and grabbed a fistful of hair, my other fist met her cheek quickly and she fought back. I managed to push her down against the cement and I busted her lip open before I was pulled off her. the same guy held heoyang back as she continued to scream at me and I looked back. dean had his arms tightly around me, preventing me from moving. his face was filled with confusion and horror.

“let go of me dean I’m going to finish what I started” I growled as I fought to slip out of his grip.

“stop! fucking stop! that’s my girlfriend for fucks sake!”

“then tell my why the fuck this is the third time I’ve seen that bitch hooking up with some other asshole?!” I yelled back at him with no prior thoughts. the crowd that had been watching went almost silent. I heard some oh shit’s from them and at that moment, I realized what I just said.

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