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stillebesat · 4 years

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Be My Dad

Sanders Sides: Janus, Logan A Vague AU Writing Prompt: @wildhorsewolf asked: Guess I'm a parent now with Janus being the dad and Logan being the kid Blurb: Janus has no interest in being a parental figure to a kid, but trying to convince the universe of that is another thing entirely. Fic Type: Familial Soulmate!AU Overall Fic Warnings: Mentions of Scars Taglist in Reblog.

To most souls, a food court was a necessary evil. Loud. Lots of people. But plenty of food options all together in one place. Perfect for those who liked a variety of choices or those who had picky eaters in tow.

It was a place to meet up with friends, family, or business associates. A place where one could sit back and observe society at work. To see people at their best...and most definitely at their worst.

There was something soothing about the chaos that Janus enjoyed...as a spectator. He could never imagine being right in the middle of it.

Not unless he was doing what he was doing right now. Trying to hide in plain sight in the middle of a crowd.

After all. He was thirty now. Single. Childless.

Obviously a menace to society in a universe that seemed obsessed with everyone being part of a ‘family.’

A Universe that had decreed that all adults who remained childless by the age of thirty, would then be subjected to being bombarded with children in need of a proper parent figure to bond with in their lives.

He exhaled, absently brushing against the raised scar on his cheek, barely looking up as a child burst out wailing nearby.

He’d checked earlier. That particular wailer hadn’t had the golden sparks. It meant he was safe.

For now.

He ran a hand through his hair, flipping another page in his notebook before he continued scrawling on the page. Maybe Virgil had actually been onto something when he said he was vanishing into the wilderness of Europe for the rest of his life.

Sure, Janus had laughed six months ago when his best friend had turned thirty and begun complaining about all the kids coming out of the woodwork to ask him to be their Dad.

It’d seemed impossible at the time. To have children want to come up to Mr. Shadows Incarnate and expect Virgil to put them to bed and tell a bedtime story.

Now though, he understood why Vee had become more reluctant to leave his house as the year had worn on. Because the mini spawns really had come out of nowhere once his own thirtieth birthday hit.

And it was awful.

Wherever he went, it was inevitable that some child would approach him, shimmering golden sparks floating around them indicating that they were looking for a Parent Bond.

It was also as inevitable that he would scare them away just as quickly.

After all, his halfmoon scar and creepy yellow eyes had caused plenty of kids to scream and run with a single look years before his thirtieth birthday.

No, at least Virgil had a bit of that shy emo charm that made him more approachable, even if the merest appearance of anyone under four feet had his best friend going pale as a corpse and ducking out before the kid could take more than two steps towards him.

Privately he was certain Virgil would find a kid perfect for him before the year was out, despite his best friend’s attempt to avoid the inevitable.

He knew Virge would make a good dad. Compassionate. Protective. His best friend had a dozen other traits that would benefit him when the right child flared with him.

Unlike Janus.

Who could make a grown man cry with less than four words and a glower.

No. He couldn’t imagine having any child coming to him in the middle of the night expecting comfort.

He knew he was intimidating.

He knew he could be scary.

It wouldn’t be fair to subject a child to that on a daily basis.

Honestly, it felt like a slap to the face that no matter how much he achieved, how many degrees he got, or businesses he owned, or careers he pursued, or money he made…

The universe felt that one couldn’t be complete unless said person also had a screaming, slobbering, dirty child in tow.

Janus ran a hand through his hair, again brushing the crescent scar on his cheek as he looked up long enough to watch a cluster of mothers with their dozen and a half children in strollers rush by, seeking salvation at the nearest set of golden arches with at least four of the kids already screaming for their happy meal toy.

Even if he did make a connection with any kid brave enough to approach him...Janus could never imagine trying to coerce a screaming brat into eating their chicken nuggets all by himself. Could never stand to walk around with food, slobber or worse, vomit stains on his best suits like a badge of honor. Could never be patient enough to listen to the long and rambling and pointless stories he’d heard multiple parents suffer through while observing them here in the food court.

No. There was no way Janus would allow the universe a say in how he ran these next five years of his life.

He had goals.

Life plans.

And he didn’t need some interfering Being with an obviously unhealthy parent complex ruining that.

The scrapping of a chair being pulled back broke through the gentle hum the noise the chaos of the food court had receded to, causing Janus to look up from his paper in time to see a boy, wearing a faded black long sleeved shirt with matching glasses and thankfully older than the screaming toddler throwing french fries six tables over, plop down in the seat across from him.

A child. With golden sparks shimmering in the air around him.

Oh goodie.

Janus barely stopped himself from rolling his eyes. And here he’d thought that the fact that he’d caused a pair of twin girls, a baby, three boys, six preteens, and four other children under the age of five to scream in terror and/or burst into tears before the lunch rush had even started would have been enough for the universe to call it quits for the day on attempting a Parent Bond.

“I have a prospersition for you.” The boy said, making eye contact. Janus blinked, pen pausing mid stroke as he raised an eyebrow to the child. Prosper...prosper? Oh. “A prop-osition?” He asked, careful to pronounce the word correctly.

The boy nodded once, pushing his glasses back up his nose. “Prop-osition” he repeated, saying it properly this time. “Will you listen to it? Please?”

Oh, now there was a please? The kid hadn’t even said hello. Janus exhaled, running a hand through his hair, again fingering the raised scar on his cheek, eyes darting about without much hope for any sign of a frantic adult looking for their wayward offspring as he sat back, tapping his pen on the table. “I’m busy.”

The boy’s eyes flashed. “No you’re not.”

Janus scoffed, gesturing to his papers. “I assure you that I a--”

“Are doing what you do every Friday. You’re not busy. You just sit here. All day. Reading. Writing.”

Observant. Janus frowned, again glancing around for a guardian figure. He didn’t think children thought much beyond eating, sleeping, and playing with their peers. “That is considered being busy by most people, I don’t have time to tal--”

The boy shifted to his knees, the golden sparks dancing around him as he carefully placed eight quarters on the table before pushing the pile over to him. “For your time.” He said, looking up to meet Jansus’s eyes once more.

Clever. Not quite the amount he usually took for a consultation, but he doubted a child could come up with that much cash. Still. It was the first time one of these golden sparked spawns of the devil decided to pay him instead of screaming bloody murder.

Janus exhaled, laying down his pen, sitting up as he clasped his fingers together, resting his chin on them. “I’m listening.” Though he doubted anything good would come from this proposition. He could already predict the direction this would go.

The boy relaxed, though he stayed half kneeling on his chair. “I need you,” his mouth twisted slightly, grey eyes glittering. “to pretend to be my Father.”

Father? Ha. Called it. “No.”

Golden sparks flared as the boy lifted his chin. “You didn’t even ask ‘Why.’”

He smirked, ignoring the sinking feeling in his stomach as he pushed the coins back. “I don’t need to.” It was obvious why the kid wanted to play pretend. After all, the sparks surrounding him were only visible to those like Janus. Single. Between the age of thirty and thirty-five. Childless. If the kid needed a fake dad...well this wasn’t his first rodeo with the concept. “You either need protection from some bullies, which--” He gestured to himself. “You think I look scary enough to intimidate them.” Though not scary enough to keep the kid from bugging him in the first place. “Or else you have lied to your friends about who your Dad is or what he does and so--”

“You’re wrong.”

Janus cut off, tilting his head. “Am I?” He was certain he wasn’t.

“You are.” The boy kept eye contact, grey blue eyes hard as stone.

It would be an intimidating gaze once he grew older, Janus was sure. “Enlighten me.”

The boy pushed the coins back across the table. “The Aquarium is having a Father/Son day today. I want to go.”

Not what he meant by enlighten, but he’d humor the kid. “So?”

The boy rolled his eyes, shifting to his knees so he could better rest his arms on the table. “I can’t exactly partisiis--partissee--par--”

“Participate?”

He nodded. “I can’t exactly participate if I go by myself, dummy.”

Dummy? Who just helped the kid pronounce ‘participate?’

Janus shoved the quarters back to the boy before picking up his pen, tapping it against the table. He could see the kid’s problem though. It made sense why the aquarium wouldn’t want to let hordes of little demon spawn run around tapping on the glass, licking the floors, and breaking things unsupervised. “I’m not spending fifty dollars to play your Dad, kid, just so you can look at some fish.”

A pet store would work just as well and wouldn’t cost a dime. If he was willing to go along with this.

Which he wasn’t.

He didn’t even like fish. Not since that stupid childhood fishing accident that had given him the lovely scar on his face in the first place.

No way would he willingly go along with some brat to a place filled to the brim with the creatures.

Despite how brilliant of a scheme it was. One Janus would have used himself though under different circumstances.

Though he supposed, if he felt like admitting it, which he didn’t, but he still---it….hurt in a way, that the kid, even having the sparks, just wanted to use him to get in to see some boring fish instead of trying out a real Trial with him to see if they had any sort of parental bond.

It was a stupid feeling.

He should be used to being used.

The boy adjusted his frames, barely blinking as he shoved the quarters back across the table, staring Janus down. “Adults get in for only ten dollars today. Kids get in free. If.” He emphasized the word. “Their Father brings them.” He shifted in his seat, pulling out a twenty and slid it across the table. “For your ticket.” He said simply, eyes flashing. “I’m only asking for your time. I don’t want to go on a Trial with you. I don’t need or want a Dad. I just need an adult with the time on his hands to pretend to be one and let me esplore the place for two measlely hours.”

Double ouch. At least some kids attempted to do an actual Trial Run with him to see if their sparks would Flare before being so blunt in telling him he wouldn’t be their Dad.

Janus frowned, already shaking his head. “Kid, I don’t--”

The boy pulled out another twenty, placing it on the table. “Two hours.” He said simply.

“You don’t even know me--” Sure, he knew the boy knew he was in the Trial stage of life since the stupid floating sparks thing, even if he couldn’t see his own, went both ways. But that didn’t mean that he should just shove--

The boy placed a third twenty on the table.

Janus exhaled, running a hand through his hair, again fingering his scar as he glared at the child. “You’re seriously bribing me? Where did you even get that much cash?” Hopefully it wasn’t stolen, but he’d applaud the boy for being so prolific in his thievery.

“Not important.” The boy stated, pulling out a fourth twenty without breaking eye contact.

Why was he being so persistent?! Any other child would have run away by now.

“Why me?” He demanded, leaning forward, sneering in a way he knew made his eyes look even more creepy. “Why not bribe some other--”

The boy hesitated, a fifth twenty already in his fingers as his steely gazed wavered. “If I tell you why, will you go with me to the Aquarium?”

That was hardly a fair exchange. The answer could be super simple and he’d be stuck with the kid for two hours. “I’m going to stick with my ‘I’m scary theory,’” Janus said instead, gesturing to his face. That was the usual reason kids gave in most circumstances.

The boy frowned, lifting his chin. “I can be scary enough on my own without your help.” He said shoving the sleeve of his shirt up, revealing an angry red corded scar that wrapped around his arm from wrist to shoulder. “We match, kinda. Your scar looks similar. Makes it easier to pretend that you’re my Dad. That we were in the same accident.” He pushed the pile of money towards him. “And if anyone suspects you aren’t my birth father, then the sparks will show them that we’re on a Trial and that our scars mean we’re meant to be.”

Meant to be.

It took a lot of effort to not touch the crescent mark on his cheek. To ignore the fluttering in his chest at those words.

They’re just pretty little lies.

Sure, there were ongoing theories that families all shared a similar trait that marked them. Whether that was having a mole on the same part of their stomach, sharing a taste in mustard, having an allergy to hay, hair having the same cowlick, or having similar looking scars--Janus kept his hands firmly on the table as he pulled his eyes back up to meet the kids.

It was hearsay though. Nothing had ever been proven. Not when the sparks flaring between parent and child was a far more accurate indicator that they were meant to be a family.

No, he highly doubted anyone would Flare with him during this five year tortrue period. Not even this kid despite the sparks dancing between them.

Janus took a steadying breath. It was fine. He didn’t need a family. Not even a pretend one for two hours. He was better off alone now that Virgil had harred off to who knew where. “How long do I have to wait before you run out of twenties and give up?” He said, keeping his voice cool. “Because I’m not taking your bribe, kid, regardless of the amount. You’d be better off hiring a nanny or something.”

Though he was curious just how much the boy thought it would take to convince him to go along with this farce.

The kid made a face. “I don’t want to be coddled the entire time.” He snapped, the fifth twenty vanishing as he shoved his sleeve down. “All anyone ever does is treat me like I’m breakable since--” he gestured to his arm, the scars once more hidden. “And I’m sick of it. You look like you’d happily let me fall off a bridge if I wasn’t careful and I just...I just--” He shook his head. “I need to not be cared about for a bit.”

Let him fall off a bridge? Ouch. Janus focused on relaxing his clenched hands, one finger at a time. “So you have a death wish? I’m not gonna be complacent to--”

The boy growled, slamming his hands on the table, steel grey eyes hardening even as they shimmered with unshed tears. “No. I just want to look at the fish.” He hissed. “I want to esplore. Learn. SEE. Without having a grown-up hovering over me like I’m freaking china. All you would have to do is stay near enough to keep any other metaling adults away. That’s all I want. For two hours. To be treated like a normal kid.” His hand clenched as he took a breath, bottom lip trembling. “I thought you of all people would understand that.” He whispered, eyes flickering to the scar and back.

It took a lot of effort to not touch his face. To maintain eye contact.

Sure.

He understood.

Janus had wasted years chasing that particular dream throughout high school and well into his first couple of years at college.

It had all been for nothing.

People judged the book by the cover. Few ever took the time to look deeper.

And it sucked that Janus was being forced to reckon with the fact that if he didn’t go with this kid and pretend to be his Dad, he’d be like every other adult unwilling to give the boy a chance to be ‘normal.’

…Great. Just. Great.

He’d just been guilted into spending two hours looking at the fish.

Janus broke eye contact, cursing under his breath as he shoved his papers into his book bag and stood, grabbing his jacket and hat off the chair.

Maybe he should follow Virgil’s lead and disappear into the wilderness for the next four and a half years if the kids were going to start pulling this type of act on him.

“You got a name, kid?” He asked, fishing out a single twenty from the stack before shoving the pile back at the boy. Enough for the ticket. That’s it.

The boy caught his breath, eyes going wide. “You mean--”

How could eyes hard as steel one second go so soft like freshly fallen ash the next?

You know what. He didn’t want to know. If the kid knew how to do puppy dog eyes, then he knew how. That was that, but after today Janus would not be falling for them again.

“Name.” He repeated, impatiently gesturing for the boy to follow him as he tugged his hat down over his eyes. “Else I’ll make one up and I guarantee you will not like it.”

The boy was by his side in a flash, golden sparks swirling. “Logan.” He said, adjusting his glasses with a small smile. “My name is Logan.”

#Be My Dad #stillebesat #Sanders Sides #Janus #Logan #Deceit #Logic #Soulmate!AU #Familial Soulmates #Dad!Janus #Child!Logan #A Vague AU prompts

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patton-cake · 3 years

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Past adventures and future experiences

Pairings: Logicality and very background Anaroceit, it's only mentioned.

Summary: The Christmas ball, a magical high school experience. At least that’s what it’s supposed to be. Patton knows that he has to ask Logan soon or else he might be too late. You know what? Forget it. There’s no way that Logan would want to be his date.

Word count: 3635

Additional information: Merry Christmas Gabi! I had the honour to be your Secret Santa this year and I really hope that you're not disappointed with that! Anyway, I love you and I hope that you'll like my gift :D @irritating-lady-knight

~The Story~

Books had always been Patton's escape from this repetitive world. Sure, there were a lot of good things in the world and he certainly wasn't complaining, but sometimes it just feels nice to be somewhere else you know? To be away from your annoying teachers, who think that 25 homework assignments due next week is completely reasonable. To be away from that one feeling you get when you think that you've finished everything, but you're not 100% sure, and to be away from himself for once.

That's why Patton started to read.

When he was younger, his mom used to take him to the library every Tuesday afternoon. They would spend hours reading together about brave princes who saved princesses ("But what if I want to save a prince instead of a princess mama?" "You can save whoever you want Mon Étoile"), they learned about the most beautiful creatures, and one day, they met one of Patton's future best friends.

Logan would teach him everything he had learned about the stars and their different constellations, the planets and their little baby moons ("They're not their children Patton.") And in return, Patton would read him his favourite stories and take him on thrilling adventures.

Unfortunately, the boys grew older and with becoming older, came more responsibilities. School wasn't much of a problem for the two friends. They both enjoy learning and Patton even made a new friend (who he immediately introduced to Logan, because the two were and always will be a package deal).

At the first sight, you would think that someone like Virgil would never become friends with someone like Patton. His dark black hair with faint purple dye, dark lether jacket decorated with punk rock pins and spiky boots have scared off a lot of people, but not Patton. Instead of running away, Patton basically adopted him.

Don't worry! He and Logan are still best friends! Patton has two hands and a lot of room in his heart, especially for someone like Logan.

"Thinking about Nerd number 1 again huh?" Patton shook his head and blinked a few times, before completely zoning back into reality. Oh right, school. Virgil laughed at Patton's 'angry' glare and pointed behind him.

"Good news Pattycake, your sweetheart is coming this way."

Patton poked his side and grumbled "He's not my sweetheart!"

With a look of disbelief, Virgil stared at his best friend and rolled his eyes. "You two are basically married already! Roman and I have a bet that you two got married years ago somewhere in France, because that's totally the type of romantic Logan would pick, but just didn't invite us to the wedding."

"If you keep bullying me then no, I won't invite you to the wedding!" Patton tried to hold back his laughter, but failed completely.

"So there is going to be a wedding??"

Before Patton could react, he heard a quiet voice calling his name.

"Salutations Patton, Virgil. I hope your day has been satisfactory so far." Logan had a slight blush on his face and was anxiously fidgeting with his tie.

"Goodmorning Lo! We saved you a seat!"

A small smile appeared on Logan's face as he sat down next to Patton.

"So mr. and mr. Nerd, did you two already hear about the nightmare that is the Christmas ball?"

Oh right. The Christmas ball. The event of the year.

The Christmas ball was this party for everyone in their last year. It was a sort of last goodbye before they graduated. Basically their school just took prom and slapped a different name on it to feel special and creative.

"Yeay! I bet that you, Janus and Roman are going together huh?" Patton winked at him and gave him a bright smile. He had been so happy for his friend when he and Roman finally got together and even happier when later Janus got added to the relationship. They were really adorable with the three of them.

"Mhm! Roman wanted to do some big promposal, but fortunately for us, Janus managed to talk him out of it. But how about you Logan? Anyone you wanna ask?"

Oh gosh Patton was going to kill Virgil. His friend knew that he wanted to ask Logan. In fact, he had tried to ask him like 5 times already, but every time he was about to pop the question, his anxiety took over and he asked some other random thing. This had lead him to asking Logan about the way ducks keep floating, their math homework and random facts about ladybugs instead. Patton truly was hopeless.

"Logan? Are you blushing? Now you gotta tell!" Virgil leaned over the table with a mischievous smile on his face.

"I did no such thing, but yes, I suppose there is someone I'd like to go with." Unfortunately for Logan, his face only turned darker red, which made Virgil laugh harder.

"Tell us more Logan!! Come on!" Virgil gently poked Logan's arm and leaned on his elbows, interrogating Logan,

"Well.. They're the most wonderful person in the world and I could not imagine my life without them, but I'm not telling you their name, not until I've asked them."

"Come on Lo! You can trust us! Right Patt? Patton? Everything okay?" His voice suddenly turned concerned when he looked at Patton, who was fidgeting with his necklace and looking at his hands, a sad smile on his face.

"Yeay, I'm fine," he grapped his backpack and stood up, "I'm gonna go to my next class, see you later guys."

In all honesty, Patton wasn't fine. He had failed to ask Logan to the prom and now he was too late. Gosh he was pathetic. He felt a few teardrops falling down his face as he walked outside. Patton desperately needed to get his mind off of everything, so he went to the place he always went when he was sad. The magic treehouse.

When they were younger, Logan and Patton had wanted to go on their own adventure. They tried to discover the hidden secrets from their library (the only thing they found was that the librarian was secretly dating ms. Williams. Patton still got shivers when he thought about that), they practised their sword fighting skills, discovered that Logan shouldn't be trusted with sharp objects and searched for hidden treasures in their backyard.

One day, after getting complaints from ms, Williams, their parents decided that they should have their own little place, somewhere where they didn't disturb other people. Logan and Patton had spent all summer building their treehouse together. Of course that meant that their parents build it and that they had decorated it with fancy fairy lights.

Patton smiled when he reached his backyard. The magic tree was located in the little private forest, behind their yard and right now, it looked absolutely magical. It had started snowing a few days ago so the whole scenery was covered in a little layer of white snow.

He carefully climbed up the ladder and entered the treehouse. Patton looked around him with a soft smile on his face, nothing had changed in their secret hideout. The shelves were covered with books, the fairy lights were still covering almost the entire ceiling and on the walls hang multiple drawings of their great adventures.

A chuckle escaped Patton as he looked through their drawings. Most of them were from when they were 9. He could barely identify the two blue stickman figures as Logan and him wearing their crowns. Logan always said that one day, he and Patton would become mighty rulers of their own library kingdom. They would have flying books and magical flowers that changed colours.

Patton's heart broke a little when he thought about that. Logan always claimed that they'd be together forever, Patton knew that they had only been children at the time, but still, he couldn't help but feel heartbroken. He'll get over it eventually, Patton would be happy for Logan and his date of course, but it still hurt.

Suddenly, his phone started to beep and he could hear the Sherlock theme song starting to play. Logan was calling him. Patton turned his phone off and sunk down to the floor. Class had started half an hour ago and here he was, crying in his childhood treehouse. How pathetic.

After a while, Patton's breathing had become steady again and he walked towards the bookshelves. A shiver spread over his body and he finally began to realise exactly how cold it was in the treehouse. Patton picked up the first book and started to read. Stories had always cheered him up a bit.

"I think that I remember that one."

Patton snapped his head towards Logan and let out a deep breath.

"Aren't you supposed to be in class?" Patton knew that he was being hypocrite but at this moment, he couldn't really care about that.

"As should you." Logan sat down next to Patton, taking in the their treehouse. "Nothing has changed here, has it? Do you remember when we were 11 and those bullies threatened me on the playground?" Logan chuckled softly and looked at their drawings, "We spend all day hiding here, drawing together."

Patton too, let out a soft laugh and looked at his hands, keeping his head low.

"Wasn't that the day we made the first drafts for our little kingdom? You know? With the weird roses and the unrealistic inhabitants?"

"Hey! Don't you dare insult Regno Libri like that!" Logan exclaimed. He tried to keep a serious face, but couldn't help but laugh. Patton giggled softly and finally looked Logan in his eyes.

"I'm sorry if I worried you Logan... I just needed some time for myself, I'll be fine."

Logan smiled soflty and took Patton's hand, gently fidgeting with his fingers.

"You're my best friend Patton, I know when something is bothering you. It's okay if you don't want to tell me, but just know that Virgil and I are here to help you okay? We care about you." He squeezed Patton's hand and moved closer so there sides were touching.

"I know Logan, thanks.." He slightly blushed at their intertwining hands and leaned onto Logan's shoulder. Physical touch had always been the best solution to cheer Patton up and especially if Logan was providing that touch. Logan would never admit it, but he secretly was a great hugger.

After a few minutes, Logan gently let go of Patton's hand and put his arm around Patton's shoulders instead, carefully pulling him closer. He gently stroked his hands through Patton's curls, softly twirling them around his fingers before speaking up again,

"Patton? There is something I'd like to ask you.." Logan smiled down at his friend with a loving gaze,

"I know that this might not be the most perfect time to ask, but do you might want to be my date to the Christmas ball? And perhaps we can try to become Promkings? Instead of rulers? Do you remember that?"

Wait

What?

Patton's thoughts zoned out and he looked at Logan with a shocked look on his face. Did.. did Logan actually asked him to prom?

"Patton? I- you don't have to, I understand if you don't see me that way, if you don't like me like that but-"

"Logan, please don't doubt yourself that much."

And with that, he kissed him. It only lasted a couple of seconds, but it was everything they needed. The kiss was sweet and gentle and it tasted a bit like vanilla, Patton couldn't get enough off it.

When Patton pulled away and looked up at Logan he giggled a bit. His (boy)friend (?) had a dazy smile on his face and his cheeks were bright red. After a few seconds, he spoke up

"I- you- is that a yes?"

Patton chuckled at the normally composed and stoic boy and kissed his cheek,

"Yes Logan, I'd love to be your date to the Christmas Ball." Patton leaned his head back onto Logan's shoulder and nuzzeld his cheek gently, taking in everything around them.

He had just kissed Logan

Patton had just kissed Logan

And it was perfect

After what felt like hours, Logan kissed Patton's forehead and carefully stood up. He reached out a hand to help Patton and linked there hands together,

"I think it's time to return, Virgil must be really worried." Patton let out a yawn and leaned into Logan's embrace,

"You're probably right."

And yeay, Logan had been right

"Where the hell were you Patton? I was so worried! Are you okay? Why did you leave and- Are.. are you two holding hands?" Virgil waved around with his arms, face full of worry. But when he saw Logan's loving gaze at Patton, something in him shifted. A soft smile appeared on his face and he smirked down at the two.

Patton looked down at their hands and blushed soflty. He loved Virgil, he really did and it was so funny to see him turn into this overprotective mother hen. Eventhough Virgil liked to act like he didn't care about other people, Patton knew how much of a softy he actually was.

"So when's the wedding?"

Logan almost choked on air.

It had only taken a few days before the entire city was covered in snow. Patton could hear the white crystals crunch under his feet as he walked through the park close to his house. Virgil and Patton had agreed to meet up a few hours before the Christmas ball was supposed to start. He checked his phone when he arrived at the old oak tree. The old oak tree had been in the park for ages, hence the nickname. Patton could remember being a little boy and trying to climb all the way to the top of the tree, even though Logan would always warn him that he could fall down and break his legs. Which he eventually did. Well, not both of his legs. Patton had only broken his left ankle, but he got a lolly from the nice nurse lady so he was fine. Giggling at the memory of Logan’s concern, Patton unlocked his phone to check the time. Five minutes until Virgil would arrive.

Just when Patton was about to send Virgil a message, letting him know that he had arrived, Patton saw something flying towards him before said thing hit the ground with a muffled sound.

“Damn that was supposed to hit you!” Patton turned around a saw a big bundle of purple coming his way. The purple blob tried hard to keep his balance on the slippery snow as it made it’s way to the tree. “Did it scare you?” It’s voice was slightly muffled by a fluffy scarf but Patton could still recognize the bright purple hair that always looked like an absolute mess.

“Oh I was terrified” Patton rolled his eyes while simultaneously trying to contain his laughter. Virgil scoffed and lightly hit Patton’s arm.

“Mission completed then I guess, but it’s not like you could have done it bette-“

Before Virgil could even finish his sentence, a cold snowball flew into his face. He quickly shook all the snow off of himself and looked at Patton who had a really sweet and innocent smile on his face

“Oh you bastard, it’s on” Virgil quietly mumbled to himself and began to collect more snow.

“What did you say Virgy? You looked like you needed a little cool down time!” and yeay it was really no ones fault besides himself when Patton too, got hit by a snowball right in his face.

A lot of snowballs later, Virgil walked up to his friend with his hands high up in the sky, slightly shivering from the cold.

“You won okay, I give up. I’m literally freezing.” Patton took this opportunity to hug Virgil around his waist and nuzzle close.

“Alright, alright we get it, you love hugs. Now come let’s get some hot chocolate or something. We deserve it after this intense battle.”

Patton nodded in Virgil’s chest and together the tried to find their balance while walking out of the park.

When the two friends walked into Patton’s house, they were met with an overwhelming smell of gingerbread and apple-pie. Which made sense because Patton’s parent had been baking Christmas treats for their family this morning.

“You mind if I grab one?” Virgil held up one of the chocolate chip cookies and ploffed down on one of the chairs in the living room. He took a bite when Patton motioned that he could eat it and let out a small noise of contentment.

“Your suit arrived last week right?” Patton nodded and Virgil continued, “Have you tried it on yet?”

Patton nodded again and smiled brightly at Virgil

“It fitted perfectly! I really hope that Lo will like it too”

He hugged himself anxiously and Virgil stood up to wrap him into a strong embrace

“Hey it’s okay Pat. Your boyfriend absolutely adores you. Believe me, if it would have taken you two any longer to get together I would have sued Logan, because he just couldn’t shut up about how handsome you looked and how he would just skip the prom because he couldn’t ask you.”

Patton giggled and blushed slightly

“And besides, if Logan does somehow decide to hurt you in any way or form, I will gladly kill him for you!” Patton lightly hit Virgil’s arm before looking up with his bright smile returned on his face.

“Thanks Virgil.”

After Patton changed into his light blue suit and Virgil had eaten more chocolate chip cookies, he also finally decided to put on his indigo purple suit with bright red and golden bracelets to match his boyfriends. Logan and Patton had agreed to wear matching ties, which meant that Patton was wearing a beautiful navy-blue necktie.

He triple checked if he had all of his stuff, including his phone, keys and if Virgil was ready, when he suddenly heard a soft knock on his door. With a mischievous smirk, Virgil walked up to the door and opened it slightly, leaning in the doorway.

"Hello Logan"

"Salutations Virgil, is something wrong?" Patton couldn't see Logan but he could identify the slight shake in his voice as anxiety.

"I don't know Logan. Tell me, are you going to dance with Patton tonight? Bring him some pretty flowers? Give him everything he deserves and more?" He could hear Logan clear his throat and Patton was sure that he was anxiously fidgeting with his necktie by now. Logan always did that when he was nervous.

"If Patton wants to dance tonight then I'll gladly join him, I did indeed bring him a flower and believe me, I will try to do anything I can to make him happy." Patton almost melted at the soft adoration in Logan's voice and he pushed Virgil out of the doorway.

"Virgil! Stop that! You're bullying the poor thing. I'm sure that Logan will be a true gentleman, as will I." Patton giggled at Virgil when he rolled his eyes and then turned back to face his boyfriend.

"Hi Logan," Patton whispered breathlessly, "you look absolutely amazing"

Logan, who looked equally as breathless, blushed slightly and whispered back with a soft voice "As do you Sunshine, as do you."

He then held his hand out and presented Patton a singular light blue and slightly bowed

"For you my love" Logan smirked up at Patton and chuckled softly.

"Move your domestic display elsewhere you nerds. This is too nauseating." Virgil smiled softly down at Patton and hugged him quickly before Logan took Patton's hand to escort him to his car.

The night sky was filled with stars when the two boys finally arrived at the oh so dreaded Christmas ball. Well, of course the ball wasn't that dreaded anymore. Patton wondered if anything could be dreadful when Logan was there by his side.

"Your mind is lost in space Sunshine, what is troubling you?" Logan intertwined their fingers and gently rubbed his thumb over Patton's hand to soothe him.

"Nothing's wrong Starlight, everything is perfect. Absolutely perfect." The honesty in Patton's voice made Logan blush and together, they entered the ballroom.

Suddenly, they were surrounded by hundreds of fake snowflake decorations. The fairy lights gave the room an enchanting atmosphere and because it was Christmas, in the corner of the room stood an eight feet tall Christmas tree, decorated with the most beautiful ornaments. It looked magical

"Well I did promised a dance didn't I?" Patton turned around to face Logan and saw that his boyfriend was holding out his hand for him.

"We don't want to disappoint Virgil now do we?" He giggled as he happily accepted Logan's invitation and followed him to the dancefloor.

The music started to play and Patton could feel Logan's hands gently wrapped around his waist. Somewhere in the back of his mind he could hear the other people entering the dancefloor, but Patton was too distracted at this moment. Blue. Beautiful dark blue. The only thing Patton noticed was how the lights reflected into Logan dark blue eyes, making him truly look magical.

"..Logan" Patton slightly cringed at the crack in his voice, but Logan didn't seem to notice

"Patton?" His boyfriend looked at him with a confused smile and a lot of admiration in his eyes.

"I love you"

"Well that's perfect Patton, do you want to know why?" Logan blushed while still keeping a smirk on his face leading them through their dance. He continued when Patton nodded,

"Because I love you too."

The two swayed the night away, living in their own private bubble. It was just the two of them and it was absolutely perfect.

#logan sanders #patton x logan #logicality #logan x patton #long post #patton sanders #virgil sanders #anaroceit #(mentioned)#pattoncake writes #Gosh I'm nervous about this one #I really hope that you like it Gabbee #This is my longest fic so far

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agerestorybits · 3 years

Text

He’s baby like it or not

Patton was trying to suppress it. Shove it down into the deepest depths of his mind and forget about it. He could not regress. Not after last time.

He scared Roman so badly, worried Logan. Neither of them had any idea what to do with him. So they got upset, angry at him for acting the way he had. Which made him feel worse and stay regressed longer. Which lead to them being more upset at him.

It was a cycle he wanted to avoid. So he refused to regress, no matter how badly he wanted to. He couldn't risk a repeat. So he fought it.

But this week had been so long, and tiring, and stressful. He was half in his little headspace already and he was terrified of lossing more control. Of course it had to happen when Logan, Roman and Janus were in the kitchen with him.

"Are you alright?" Roman asked.

Patton forced himself to smile,"Yup!"

Janus looked at him oddly. Patton's stomach dropped. Did he know? No... There was no way.

"I suggest we have a movie night." Logan said. "Relaxing after such a long week is needed."

Patton nodded, fear filled his chest. "I love that idea!"

Janus looked at him sharply. "Patton may I speak to you in the other room?"

"Of course." Patton said slightly shaky.

"You don't have to if you don't want to." Roman said noticing Patton's discomfort and shooting Janus a look.

Patton brush it off. "It's ok. I'm sure it won't take long."

Patton followed Janus to the other room. "Any reason you don't want to be around anyone right now?"

"I..um..." Patton studders. He couldn't lie to Janus. "I'm sorry."

"That doesn't answer my question." Janus said softly.

"I just...I don't want to make everyone angry." He explained his voice a little higher than normal as his little side slipped through.

"Why would they be angry?"

Patton teared up. He hugged himself. "Cause I not...." He cut himself off.

Janus figured it out though. "Patton.... Do you regress?"

Patton burst out crying. Janus pulled him into a hug. "Shhhh. It's ok."

"No. Lo and Ro gonna be mad!" Patton said.

Janus frowned. "I won't tell them if you let me take care of you. Deal?"

Patton thought about it for less than a second before agreeing. Janus popped his head into the kitchen and told them that Patton wasn't feeling well before coming back and taking Patton to his room.

As soon as Janus closed the door he looked around. "Alright. Where do you keep your things?" he asked.

Patton looked at him confusion, thumb almost in his mouth. "Tinks?"

"Your agere gear? Pacifiers? Clothing? Toys?" Janus asked.

Patton shook his head. "Don't got any."

Janus hummed. This wouldn't do. Not when Patton regressed to such a young age. He summoned a plain blue Paci abd handed it to Patton. Patton was hesitant to use it, he eyed Janus nervously.

"I gave it to you. I'm not going to take it away." Janus promised. Patton popped it in his mouth and smiled.

Patton crawled onto his bed and sat in the middle of it. Janus snapped him into pajamas with cookies on them. "There. That will do for now but we'll get you some more gear later. Alright?"

"Don't needs it." Patton protested.

"If you think I'm not going to spoil you. You're wrong." Janus said.

Patton blinked, "Why?"

"Because you deserve it." Janus said.

"Why?" Patton asked.

"There are a lot of reasons that we can get into when your bigger ok?" Janus said.

Patton grabbed a teddy bear and hugged it. "Mkay."

---

Patton latched on to Janus was his caregiver immediately. He even let himself regress if Janus said it was ok.

Janus, true to his word, spoiled the heck out of him. Toys, deco pacis, clothing. Anything the little could want he got. The only problem was that Roman and Logan both disapproved of age regression. To the point that Patton would avoid them completely on days he was feeling close to regressing.

"I don't understand why you have to act like that." Logan said.

"It's healthy." Janus said defending Patton.

"You're the problem here." Roman snapped. "You're making him think this is normal!"

Patton teared up. Freak. He took a shaky breath. "Maybe this is weird. But it's not hurting you so why can't you just...just..piss off!" He slapped a hand over his mouth as they stared at him in shock.

"Patton."

"No! I'm not doing anything wrong and you two are just being stubborn and mean!" Patton snapped.

Janus was proud of how Patton was standing up for himself.

"I'm... sorry." Roman said slowly.

"Good! You should be." Patton huffed before storming off.

"You two have a lot to think about." Janus said before he followed Patton.

Roman and Logan looked at each other.

---

Patton sat curled up against Janus' side as Janus read him a story. A plush dog in Patton's arms, paci in his mouth and wearing a pair of cat patterned pj's, he was feeling comfortable and safe.

At least untill there was a knock at the door and Roman stuck his head in. Patton immediately tensed.

"What do you need Roman?" Janus asked sharply, picking up on Patton's distress.

"I have something I want to say... I'm sorry Patton. You were right, we were being stubborn and not thinking."

"We?" Janus asked.

Roman opened the door further to show Logan standing behind him. "I apologise... I wasn't thinking logically. I assumed that it wasn't healthy before doing any research on it. "

"Ok." Patton said quietly.

Janus watched Patton relax a bit. "Would you two like to join us for story time?"

They agreed and sat down on either side of the bed. Janus went back to reading, as Patton snuggled up closer to him. Eyes slowly closing as he fell asleep.

Maybe everything would be alright.

#agere patton #little patton #cg Janus #Roman #Logan

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katelynn-a-fan · 3 years

Text

Somewhere Over the Rainbow: Chapter 8

First | Previous | Next | Masterlist | Ao3

Summary: Roman and Remus have two very similar, but very different conversations. One might be more... eye-opening than the other. But both of them has something they have to deal with.

Word count: 8k (8008)

Warnings: Self-deprecation, slight Remus-style imagery

Tapping his fingers restlessly on his knee, Roman’s breathlessness abated as Remus and Janus disappeared around the doorframe. A pressure suddenly lifted from his lungs as Roman was sure Remus was finally out of the picture for a while.

A sigh naturally escaped from his lips. Roman hoped it sounded more tired or long-suffering than relieved. Patton shouldn’t have to worry about Roman or anyone else right now.

Patton’s love, if barely a day old love, was obvious the moment anyone would look at him.

First things first was Patton’s face, the obvious place to go to at first. The small yet sad smile on Patton’s face as well as the soft but bright look in his eyes as he seemed to stare at Thomas’s face for hours. Patton was obviously hoping for Thomas’s swift recovery, but Roman thought back on Dr. Kagan’s words. Thomas likely wouldn’t wake up for a while.

Even still, at least for Patton’s sake, Roman was glad Thomas was okay.

Roman’s eyes traced Patton's face to his arm and then down to his hand, where Patton’s hand gently rested on the bed, lightly gripping Thomas’s tiny hand. The grip was protective but gentle. Like a dad who was holding his newborn baby for the first time or the love between anyone committed to living the rest of their lives with someone, romantically or otherwise all in one handhold.

Unconditional love. A love that asked for nothing, but gave everything it had no matter what.

That’s Patton alright, he’ll do anything for you, but Lisa Minnelli help you if you try to do anything for him. Tomatoes? They’ve got nothing on a Patton who’s just been told you did something for him.

It was because of Patton’s obvious love for Thomas that Roman missed that Patton was actually speaking to him.

“-oman!” Patton's voice finally cut through Roman’s thoughts.

Jumping slightly as he had been caught off guard, Roman glanced back up to Patton. Expecting what he found when he looked up, Patton was tilting his head and had his lips pursed slightly. The muscles in his face were tense, especially in Patton’s forehead, wrinkles forming as his brow dipped down towards his eyes.

Roman wrung his hands a little, because how long had Patton been calling him? He cleared his throat.

“Uh, yeah Pat? I- uh didn’t catch what you said. Did- did you say something?” Roman managed to smile a little, but it was definitely mostly fake. Patton frowned but didn’t comment on it. Instead, he shifted himself to face Roman more. His gaze was softer after that, though.

“I haven’t said much of anything yet. I was mostly just trying to get your attention.”

Shoulders drawing up as he averted eye contact, Roman’s voice grew moderately quieter.

“Sorry, I uh… got distracted.”

Patton shifted yet again on the edges of Roman’s vision and Roman nearly startled when Patton’s fingers brushed his knee.

“Hey, you don’t have to apologize. We all get distracted sometimes, it’s no biggie.”

His shoulders beginning to relax nearly as quickly as they tensed, Roman looked up only to get slapped in the face with the look in Patton’s eyes that thirty seconds ago had been reserved just for Thomas. Unconditional love, a kind of love with enough patience to rival a stone’s. A stone could wait centuries to only shift an inch.

“Okay... What- uh... What were you going to ask me?” Roman prompted, turning the focus back on what Patton was wanting to ask Roman about. Certainly it was not to direct away from the heat on Roman’s cheeks. Certainly not.

Patton blinked slowly, a frown dipping onto his face before Patton’s brow shot up.

“Oh yeah! I guess I got distracted as well. I- I wanted to ask you because I never got the chance before Remus came. Why were you and Janus able to come home so early? Did- did you-”

Roman put his hand gently up to stop Patton’s eyes from progressively gathering more and more moisture as obvious tears began to threaten falling from Patton’s eyes.

“Hey. Everything went fine. We were just able to get away earlier and got an earlier flight as well. I’m confident in Janus’s abilities and his performance for this time, like every time. What kind of friend/employee would I be if I wasn’t confident in Janus’s abilities?”

Patton’s hand skirted across Roman’s knee again.

“Still a great one, Roman. I- It’s not that I’m not confident in Janus’s abilities, but that they don’t see that and pass him over for a role… I’m s-” Patton suddenly slammed his mouth shut, glancing away from Roman as his shoulders dipped down.

Roman smirked, crossing his arms as he let the smug expression flood across his face.

“You were about to apologize, weren’t you? Now, what did you say about that? I wonder.”

Tone lightening considerably, Roman’s smirk grew when Patton’s face bloomed into a smile much less smug than Roman’s at the obvious teasing.

“Oh shut up, you.” Patton’s expression went rosy as he rolled his eyes at Roman, but something made Patton’s expression suddenly drop as fast it became rosy.

Roman leaned towards Patton as he tilted his head as Patton had a minute before. His elbows rested on his legs to balance himself.

“Patton?” It was apparently Roman’s turn to try to get Patton’s attention as Patton stared at a random spot on the hospital bed. Roman’s heart sped up in his chest as Patton didn’t respond at first.

This is probably what Patton felt like when I was distracted by him and Thomas. I don’t like this feeling.

However, unlike with Roman, Patton snapped out of it of his own accord. Without a sound at first, Patton turned back to Roman, abruptly beginning to fidget and fumble with the edge of his own sleeve with his free hand leaving Roman’s knee.

“Patton? You okay? You look upset…”

Fumbling stopping for a moment, Patton met Roman’s eyes, strangely frantic.

“What were you saying when you got here… I- you said something about thinking I was… something. What did you think I was?”

Roman sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck

”Um well you see… Why-”

“-did you bring me out here?” Remus whispered to Janus as he waited for Janus to catch up with him in the hall after going first out the door.

Letting the silence drag on, Janus didn’t respond at first, not stopping when Remus joined up right beside him. It didn’t click why until Remus caught a Janus glancing back at the door. That was the reason, Janus didn’t want Rom- them to hear.

Taking a few more steps, Janus finally cleared his throat.

“Well, we are legitimately getting food. I wasn’t lying about that.”

Remus frowned. “I didn’t think you were, but I can tell walking with me isn’t just for the sake of walking with me. There’s a reason beyond that, I can tell.”

Janus’s footsteps stuttered a moment before slowing gently to a stop. Now obviously glancing back at the door, Janus’s body tensed and relaxed in waves, his muscles pumping in a strange almost heart looking way as Janus nearly backed up into the wall. His hand approached his ears slowly, but Remus couldn’t hear anything loud. Remus’s stomach dropped.

Is he hearing something? I don’t know what to do, um… grab his shoulder. Yeah.. that’ll work.

Luckily, whatever spiral Janus had been stuck in ended the moment Remus gripped Janus’s shoulder.

As Janus looked up, Janus’s eyes were wide, but quickly went back to normal as Janus eyes lit up in recognition of Remus, like Remus hadn’t already been there the whole time.

“Oh, yes, uh. It’s not just about the food…” Janus pushed himself away from the wall with a slight head shake, glancing around at his surroundings as if he was seeing them for the first time. “I wanted to talk about you and your brother.”

Suddenly rooted to the spot, Remus' knees went weak, but not from exhaustion. Oh no, it was like everything was suddenly happening at once and Remus’s voice suddenly never existed.

A list of places to hide popped into his head as his mind was demanding him to run, but his body wasn’t cooperating with him. All he managed to do instead was walk straight into Janus in one step.

“Woah, Remus. I’m right in front of you, no need to get closer.”

That’s not what- Remus cut himself off as his mind finally caught up to what his body was doing. He shoved himself back hard but was stopped almost immediately by Janus’s steady hands.

“Remus, hey, I’m not trying to pull one over on you or anything. Honestly, I'm going behind Roman’s back to even do this because he hasn’t ever actually told me what actually happened between you two.”

Remus’s mind automatically quieted at that news.

“Wait… you don’t? I thought...”

Staring at the ground intently, Remus ran his hand through his hair,

How-? Janus is Roman’s partner, of all the people it should be Janus he tells… though… Patton doesn’t know either, so…

“You thought I knew why Roman hates you? ...No, I don’t, but that’s fair, I thought you knew that I didn’t know what is between you either. We both made some broad assumptions, so we’ll just call this even and move on I guess.”

Remus met Janus face to face at that. A sudden lump in Remus’s throat made it hard to swallow, but eventually Remus gulped down the saliva that had been pooling his mouth while he was frozen.

“So, uh, my brother? He- we are, of course, brothers and twins. When we were young we had our own language and had our own little world with our own social rules that dominated both our childhoods. We were inseparable, but that didn’t stop us from fighting… a lot. It was never too bad, but it was never completely good either. I got him into trouble sometimes because we’re twins and they mistook him for me. But then… I drew a mustache on my lips every day and that stopped being a problem unless someone didn’t know about the difference or when I still wanted to be a little shit and cause some chaos to try to see if I could get Roman in trouble.”

Remus blinked, his tangent cut off as his face drifted into a dreamy smile as he looked back on his childhood. He immediately dropped his smile, straightening up again.

“That is to say we were very close before everything happened.”

Janus frowned, eyes skating up and down Remus for a long moment which made Remus want to squirm under the scrutiny. It brought thoughts of his own that he would rather not think about Janus with him not even three or four feet in front of him.

“Okay, then. Why-”

“-did I ask something about that? That’s a very good question.” Roman’s voice dropped to a mutter as Patton’s stare seemed to pin him down, making Roman fidget in his chair, tapping like he had been as Remus left the room.

When Roman doesn’t continue, Patton fills the silence instead.

“And? I’m… starting to worry about this… You’re so hesitant to talk about anything. Maybe, I shouldn’t ask you to talk about it, you don’t have to-” Patton started to turn away from Roman back to Thomas, but Roman grabbed Patton’s free hand, pausing his hand where it had been still fiddling with Patton’s sweater.

Patton turned back around to Roman, a small exhalation of air leaking from Patton’s lips.

“Patton. I want to, I’m just… worried about how you might react, but… you have to know. I promise it’s not as bad as any of the worst-case scenarios you can come up with.”

Roman paused, searching Patton’s face, yet avoiding direct eye contact with him.

Deciding he could stall no longer, Roman inhaling and exhaling out again slowly before he began to explain.

”Well, we came back to the house and I tried to surprise you with a grand entrance, went all out with it with the voice too, but you weren’t there of course,” Patton rolled his eyes fondly, a smirk on his face at the dramatics despite not even having experienced it in person. “So we looked around the living room a bit and talked for a little bit.”

A pang in Roman’s gut erupted as he failed to mention that it was less talking and more arguing or more accurately a tense silence instead. Patton shouldn’t have to learn about that part of the conversation, so Roman just… didn’t mention it.

Wiping his brow with the back of his wrist, Roman gazed down at the ground for a moment, pausing before he continued his retelling.

“At a point in the convo, Janus noticed that the kitchen light was on and-”

Eyes going wide, Patton stiffened a little, his grip on Roman’s hand tightening. His voice was higher pitched than normal when he exclaimed.

“It was? Dog it! I never meant to do that, I don’t want you guys to pay more than you have to on the electric.”

Roman smiled, squeezing Patton’s hand gently back. His own shoulders relaxed as Patton’s posture began to slowly relax, Roman’s voice taking on a soothing quality.

“You didn’t mean to, Patton. That’s all that matters. Plus, leaving one simple light on without being needed for half a day is nothing compared to the TV or other lights we have on on a regular basis. I know you care about that a lot, but I won’t be angry with you over one or two missed lights.”

Breathing out slowly through his nose, Patton closed his eyes. Slowly, he offered Roman a small but growing smile even with his eyes still closed. When Patton opened his again, they were steady and clear. It lightened the grip that had come around Roman’s heart when Patton had first asked about what they had been so concerned about.

“I know. It’s… hard sometimes. I don’t nearly contribute to payments as much as I want and I want to be able to pay my share instead of making you both pay more.”

“Patton.”

Roman gave his voice the weight it needed but still held back. Having curled up a little, knees drawing up into the seat of the hospital chair, Patton looked up.

“We don’t care about the money. Please don’t feel obligated to work yourself too hard because you can pay your ‘fair share,’” Roman put up air quotes, putting a fair amount of emphasis on the words. “We are happy with whatever you are able to contribute now. Please don’t worry about that.”

Patton nodded, though it was much less genuine looking as he avoided Roman’s eye contact and gave a weak laugh.

“Okay…”

Roman didn’t continue for a long moment staring at Patton and his (once again) slowly tensing posture, but something in him instructed him to leave the topic alone, if just for a moment. He kept his voice soft at first once he continued, slowly growing back to a normal tone as he went on.

“Alright. So… we- well, he noticed that and turned it off. We knew you’d never want to leave a light on like that, so we got worried that something had happened to you. At first, we thought you were sick, so we went to your room. We thought you were still asleep, so we didn’t barge in. But when we saw that your bed was empty, we immediately went into investigation mode searching the whole house for you.” Roman shook his head as Patton cringed, forging on to lessen the time Patton would have to hear about this. “So we each searched parts of the house, Janus found a drawer ajar in the study and-”

Patton flinched, his fingers twitching around Thomas’s hand..

“Oh. I got an ice scraper from there because it was snowing and everything and that was the only way to see.”

Roman began to nod but froze when what was next was something that might upset Patton. Letting out a nervous laugh, Roman subtly wrung his hands as he glanced away from Patton.

How could I even put this lightly?

“That’s smart, Pat,” Roman let his shoulders relax just a little bit again when Patton beamed at the praise. ”Going back to what happened, um… we thought you had been taken or kidnapped because the drawer had within it long and semi heavy things in there and we thought that was proof that you grabbed something to defend yourself with. We called you in case you weren’t actually taken, but you didn’t pick up…”

Patton’s free hand went down to his pocket immediately, resting on the obvious outline of his phone in his pocket. Giving a strange look that Roman couldn’t decipher at him, Patton pulled out his phone with one hand and fiddled with it for a moment before pausing.

“What are you…” Roman asked.

Tapping the screen, Patton held up his phone as Roman’s voice suddenly came through the speakers.

The words Roman remembered uttering flooded into his ears.

“Hey Patton, I- We don’t know where you are right now, just know that you’re going to be okay. We're going to find you, I promise. I love… you...Patton.”

Patton’s hand nearly dropped the phone when it began to tremble. Without a second thought, Roman grabbed Patton’s hand between the two of his and held tight.

However, instead of being sad, Patton looked up with a smile on his face.It was certainly not a full one, but it was much more genuine than the half-smiles either of them had been barely committing to. Roman’s mouth almost fell open on the spot.

“Thank you, Roman. You’re so thoughtful.”

Roman sat there on the verge of his jaw-dropping straight to the floor before he straightened up again, coughing awkwardly away from Patton. His cheeks were heating up way too fast and he wanted them to stop. Even as his cheeks still were blazing fires, Roman was turning back to Patton again almost immediately.

“Um... To finish off, I did that and then we found the blood from Thomas on the couch blankets and the vase in the trash, saw Remus’s car and connected the dots, and then came here. You know the rest.”

Patton pursed his lips, face drawing together until his face cleared. His eyes opened wide as he softly gasped.

“Oh yeah, I did break the vase… Remus… must have cleaned that up while I was attempting to find my keys and wallet.”

Roman blinked.

Remus?

“Remus cleaned the vase? I thought that must have been you?”

The corners of Patton’s mouth dipped a little as Patton shook his head resolutely.

“No, I would remember something like that. I’m-” Patton stuttered, his mouth faltering. “I’m sor- I… didn’t mean to make you fear for my safety so much.”

Roman shook his head.

“It’s fine. Emotions were running high for you and you had a child to worry about. I can see how you might not have had ‘contacting your partners about what had happened when they were supposed to still be coming back’ high on your priorities then. Even if you had told us anything, it would’ve likely had the same effect on how you feel right now with how you didn’t want us to worry after the fact. Your emotions are valid, but please don’t feel obligated to do anything for me and Janus, alright? We love you.”

Patton was silent for a long couple of moments before his mouth opened and his free hand suddenly shot out.

“Thank you.”

Slamming into Roman’s shoulder with quite a bit of force, Patton’s hand came down forcefully enough that Roman might have had his knees buckle under him at the very least if he were standing.

Janus’s hand was heavy and firm on Remus’s shoulder. Having brought his hand down fairly heavily on Remus’s shoulder, it definitely caught Remus’s attention. It was heavy enough that Remus couldn’t ignore it being there, but it was just enough to not be unbearable.

“I- I still don’t understand. Roman is never this harsh, this… sharp, this… glare-y, unless he’s really serious. He’s told me not to bring you up and I thoughtlessly did this morning and we nearly got in a fight over it. I can’t imagine… I want to believe what Roman implies with all of his harshness towards you, that you did something bad or insulted or something.”

Remus bit lip as he cringed, turning his back to Janus to try to quickly hide the actual genuine emotion that statement elicited in Remus’s heart. And it wasn’t a nice emotion, it was a twisting pain in Remus’s heart that made Remus want to scream.

He had no idea who he wanted to scream at, Janus? Roman? Everyone in particular who looked down upon him or hated him because of who he was or what he did in the past? Honestly, did it really matter who he was going to scream at?

Other than Patton. Out of everyone, Patton was the only one Remus may never say a bad word about, much less scream wordlessly at him in frustration of nothing in particular.

Janus is actually being nice to me for a change, do I really want to scream at him? It’s not my fault Roman only expressed his vague dislike for me and not my side. I can’t blame him for preferring his actual boyfriend over me.

“Remus? Are you okay? Do you need to go back to Thom- his hospital room?”

Oh, yeah.

Remus was staring down at the intersection of the hospital wall and the floor.

I should probably turn back to Janus. Now that I am not about to scream in his face, it’s only fair to face him again.

Only fair.

Plastering a hopefully believable grin that was nowhere near the caliber of his usual borderline insane looking grin, though it did fit exactly how tired he was, Remus met Janus’s eyes, no longer facing the wall away from him.

“Nah, I’m fine, Short and Snaky, just still trying to wake up a little. I wouldn’t have come if I thought I wouldn’t be able to make it.”

Janus didn’t even try to appear like he believed Remus, crossing his arms and angling a questioning brow to him in a very obvious way of saying: Oh really? With all the sarcasm that Janus had in him, which was probably a lot.

Without Janus even having to speak, Remus was dropping once again, letting everything visibly hang on him. It was like 10-pound weights were added to most of his body at once. Looking away once again, Remus focused back down on the ground purposefully this time.

“Okay… okay. That… did sting a bit, the comment about me being less believable or whatever, but that’s par for the course. You’re not the first to think that either. Roman’s always been the ‘golden child’ and I haven’t. I’m used to it though. It’s fine.”

Remus didn’t wait for the agreement that was surely going to come from Janus. Starting to walk away, he merely expedited the process of getting on with getting to the cafeteria by leading them down the hall again. He had held both of them up enough.

But a hand on his arm stopped Remus in his tracks, his eyes widened and he stiffened as he turned back to Janus to get whatever scorn he was bound to get. More of the usual? He was used to that from anyone who didn’t know him that well.

Except, that in his surprise he glanced up at Janus’s face and it was… not that at all. If anything, it was incredibly gentle, the opposite of scornful.

“Remus, that’s not fine… You aren’t supposed to feel that way, or… no one should’ve made you feel that that is the case at all. Even if your parents were obvious in who they liked more or whatever, that’s no excuse to talk down to you about something you could never change or that whoever you are wasn’t something worth valuing!”

Remus blinked, a lot. His blinking was almost like a strobe light, his eyes spending as much time closed as open.

“Uh....” Remus offered, at a very rare loss for words.

Thankfully, Janus continued on for him, a light squeeze on Remus’s shoulder accompanying him.

“You shouldn’t have to think that. You don’t seem too… non-goldeny to me. They probably said things because they just don’t understand you, and you probably did things back then because you didn't understand them. Unless there’s something I’m missing, I don’t think either of you tried to understand each other, Roman included.”

Shaking his head Janus squeezed Remus’s shoulder again, the grip finally not feeling harsh or condemning despite its utmost gentleness. Still shaking his head, Janus leaned back, removing his hand from Remus’s shoulder.

“You… don’t have to talk about what happened between you two at all if you don’t want to. Just know you aren’t bad or whatever self-deprecating words are bouncing around in your cranium up there.” Remus flinched, closing one of his eyes when Janus brought his fist up. However, Janus simply rapped his knuckles on Remus’s head. “You can never be ‘bad’ if you're always trying to be better. Just because you fail doesn’t mean you didn’t try.”

Smiling slightly wider for a moment, Janus lingered his fist on Remus’s head before pulling his hand down and just waited.

It took a long moment of staring blankly back at Janus before it hit Remus that Janus was simply… waiting.

Straightening up with an awkward cough, Remus brushed out the wrinkles that had formed in his nurse’s uniform. He paused for a moment at the fact that he still had it on, though the fact that he hadn’t remembered taking it off would serve to prove that it would still be what he was wearing.

Why does it suddenly feel weird to have this on? I’m still here at the hospital, so why does this suddenly feel out of place? Maybe it’s just… everything. My brain doesn’t know what to feel anymore, so everything just feels off.

Clearing his throat conspicuously once more, Remus stepped over to the wall. He placed his back on it, trying to alleviate the sense of wrong coursing through him as he prepared to talk about his brother after not daring to for… Remus couldn’t remember the last time he had spoken about it other than his own partners. Remus just wanted someone to talk to again, to stop this hiding...

The moment his back did hit the wall, most of the sensation of wrongness melted away, only leaving the tension of admitting to someone who was quite nearly a stranger one of his most vulnerable secrets or conflict.

Janus stepped towards him abruptly, but the move was obviously more of a following step as Remus had moved away from where he was than an advancing step judging by how Janus was remaining the same distance away as before.

Measuring his breathing, Remus took a moment to clear his mind the best he could. To let himself think about everything clearly without inward distractions no matter how much it hurt to think about. Sure, all of the daily thoughts that ran through his mind were still there, churning and writhing in the back of his mind, but they were slowly drowned out by all the memories pertaining to him and his brother.

The memories were sharp and pointy, like knives or needles, poking Remus painfully if he tried to squirm an inch in thought. Scenes of the hurt and anger and just… bad feelings replayed in his mind as he faced them head-on for the first time since they had been created.

Once Remus was ready, he opened his eyes, not knowing when he closed them, and began.

“The truth is…” Remus ignored the sudden impulse to finish the phrase with ‘I am Iron Man’ like at the end of the first Iron Man movie, this was a serious moment.

“I… don’t know why Roman hates me.”

Waiting for Janus’s reaction, Remus glanced up to find an expression on Janus’s face that he didn’t expect.

“What?”

“-can’t you make mistakes?” Gripping Patton’s hand on his shoulder, Roman squeezed Patton’s hand in what he hoped was a comforting way.

When Patton didn’t immediately respond, Roman’s face softened, his forehead smoothing out a little. Something about Patton’s expression, his mouth pressed carefully into a thin line and the slight avoidance for eye contact namely, told him that Patton didn’t think he could make mistakes.

“Oh habibi, darling, please don’t fret. You’re human, I’m human. I can make mistakes, right?”

Roman gripped Patton’s hand tighter, pulling it from his shoulder and cradling it into his chest as if he were carrying his most prized possession. His eyes were about to pop out of their sockets, if he opened them any wider.

Just being in the room with Remus has him rubbing off on me… I… no… I can’t think about him right now. Patton’s the priority.

Keeping his head bowed for another moment, Patton finally looked up, eyes just as wide as Roman’s if not even wider. Painfully conflicted, Roman’s heart nearly combusted at the sight of the conflict in Patton’s eyes. As if the fact that he could make mistakes was something that was hard to grasp for Patton.

How are you, so perfect and beautiful in all you do, doubtful of your own abilities? If I was half the man you were...

Patton squeaked, the notes slightly strangled, and suddenly slammed his face into Roman’s chest.

“Uh- Um… You okay there, Pat?” Roman stammered, his cheeks tinging the lightest shade pink at the sudden initiate gesture.

Patton muttered something into Roman’s chest that didn’t quite reach Roman’s ears. Eyes trailing down from how Patton’s hand was still intertwined with Thomas’s somehow, Roman frowned down at Patton.

“What… what’d you say there Pat?”

Patton pulled back from Roman’s chest just enough to be decipherable, his face still not visible for Roman. Though he could swear he saw a blush coloring Patton’s cheeks, what could be the cause of that?

“I asked you if you really thought that, the… perfect and beautiful stuff? I… don’t deserve…”

Roman’s body stiffened. Pulling himself away from Roman as he himself stiffened, Patton snatched his hand away like Roman was a hot stove.

“Oh…Oops I… said that out loud? Oh.” Roman sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck before his mind latched onto what Patton had said at the end. His eyes narrowed. “Wait, were you about to say you didn’t deserve that praise? I’ll have you know that you deserve all of the praise that I can give to you and more. You’re usually the one that gets on us about self-deprecation. It’s time to listen to your own advice, Pat.”

Gaping his mouth open like a fish, Patton looked about ready to protest before he closed his mouth suddenly.

“I… feel bad about being a hypocrite, but… yeah… I should listen to myself a bit more.” Patton offered a small smile once again.

Tutting, Roman cupped Patton’s chin, watching as Patton’s eyes drooped.

“What am I going to do with you, dapdoub? My little teddy bear?”

Leaning into Roman’s gentle caress, Patton’s eyes closed for a moment before almost immediately snapping open again. Under him, Roman’s chair shifted a little and Roman had to look down at what the disturbance was. Patton was lightly tugging at the chair with a suspiciously innocent expression on his face, doe-eyed and unassuming.

“How about cuddles? Because that’s what you do with your Daddoub, cuddle them?” Roman caught a ghost of a smirk flashing across Patton’s face, but plausible deniability served that it could have just been Roman’s imagination.

Roman rolled his eyes but didn’t comment on that or the pun.

“Fine. But it’s because I wanted to, anyway.”

Roman was too busy scooting his chair forwards to look, but when he spoke, Patton’s voice was very, very smirky sounding.

“Alright, Roman.”

When Roman was finally in range, he opened his arms and let Patton guide him onto his chest, but something struck him.

“Wait, a teddy bear’s not supposed to be Big Spoon or… whatever it’s called. You’re supposed to…” Roman was stopped mid-sentence by a playful finger to his lips.

“Shh, it doesn’t matter because cuddles.”

“I-”

“Cuddles.”

Roman huffed, but didn’t protest as he let himself be pressed gently against Patton’s taller and slightly broader chest.

If Patton cuddled up against me, he would be much more uncomfortable having to bend down… So this is fine…

They stayed like that in silence, Roman beginning to want to trace his eyes down Patton’s arm again to find if Patton was still holding Thomas’s hand.

That was until one simple but sudden sound had both of them startled.

Bee-

-eep!

Both Remus and Janus jumped as a loud beeping came from the vicinity of Janus. The moment of confusion was momentarily broken as Janus plunged his hand into the noticeable sagging pocket of his pants. Remus looked silently on as the sound was now revealing to be Janus’s phone. After a moment of fiddling with his phone, brow furrowing in concentration, the beeping stopped and Janus refocused on Remus with a slightly pained expression. Biting his lip, Janus quickly slipped his phone back into his pocket.

“Sorry, that was the alarm I set so that we didn’t waste too much time talking and not getting back. I don’t want them suspecting anything.” Janus gestured ahead of them, moving his arm back and forth more and more rapidly as Remus still hadn’t moved at first. “Come on, let’s walk and talk. I’m honestly getting hungry despite everything that’s happened.”

Janus’s stomach growled right then, eliciting a kind of barking laugh from Remus at the perfect timing of it, finally moving Remus forward as his mind quickly caught up with what was happening.

“Me too, Jan, me too,” Remus repeated as he passed Janus.

Immediately stepping off with Remus, Janus kept pace with Remus. It took a few moments for Janus to finally speak again, continuing where he let off.

“What the fuck?”

Remus nearly stumbled as Janus’s voice abruptly exclaimed nearly straight into his ear. His hand came up instinctively to cup his ears.

“Huh?”

“What do you mean, huh? Not to be an asshole or whatever, but how- How do you not know why your twin hates you?”

Remus blinks, he blinks until the moisture in his eyes starts to cloud his vision. Gripping his nurse’s uniform, the uniform that was wrong. Wrong. Wrong! Wrong!

Remus gulped.

Is that stomach acid or am I just really that stupid that I’m actually crying over this? Figures. Same old me that never changes and is still that stupid old… monster.

“Because I just don’t!” Remus nearly shouted, catching a few looks from strangers walking past. But he didn’t care, he couldn’t care, he shouldn’t.

Twisting his outfit in his hands, a wave of emotions carried him as his mouth moved without him putting much thought into his words.

“I don’t know what I did or what he thinks I did, but he hasn’t ever given me a chance to explain! The last time I tried to talk to him about it, he threw his complete collection of Shakespeare’s plays at me. I still have a scar from it. Ever since then, it’s been tense and we’ve ignored the problem when we’re forced to interact. I can see that he’s hurt and I’ve wanted to help, but the motherfucker won’t ever just talk! Still think the best I can of the guy and he just-”

Cut off, Remus’s voice caught in his throat at the same moment Janus placed a gentle hand on his chest, stopping him in his tracks, audibly and physically.

Wishing the blurriness in his eyes would go away, Remus clenched his outfit harder, not keeping eye contact with Janus, who was desperately trying to meet his eyes.

God, the one guy who usually can’t look me in the eye usually is the one desperately trying to! Such a fuck up, he shouldn’t have to do that! You’re forcing him to do that.

Pulled apart by two conflicting impulses, Remus was frozen until a grip on his chin forced his head up near painfully. Meeting Janus’s startling heterochromic eyes, Remus squirmed immediately to try and get away

“Remus, breathe. You’re almost hyperventilating.”

Oh… that was why Remus was nearly bouncing up and down. His gasps of air that weren’t nearly enough had nearly taken over his whole body.

With Janus’s hands guiding him, he distantly sat down, or he must have at some point in his oxygen-deprived haze, as he was suddenly sitting with his back pressed against the wall. A hand that could only be Janus rubbing small circles on his arm and as far back on his back as it could reach.

That touch was what finally snapped Remus back, the steady feeling of right, right, rightness, slowly leaking back into his bones instead. Like a broken record, Remus looked up slowly into Janus’s eyes, ready for scorn once again because he was actually crying and panicking for no reason. But instead, Janus’s eyes were only filled with obvious concern, forehead wrinkled but as soft as it could be drawn together.

Choking back the bile and saliva and maybe snot that accumulated in his emotional fugue, Remus’s body shuddered in a sob as he tried to speak. His throat was still closed off, even when he had already removed the physical barrier for him to do so.

“Don’t worry, you don’t need to speak right now. Is it okay if I leave you here to go get the food for everyone? I can-” Remus surged forward abruptly, cutting off Janus as he held tight to Janus’s sleeve. He was still unable to say anything, but Remus opened his eyes wide in what he hoped was the same kind of way we had experienced Patton’s own puppy dog-like eyes.

It seemed to work, Janus huffing before swatting at Remus’s grip on his sleeve.

“Alright, alright, we’ll go together. Just don’t think this is over, your eyes will give you away. Do… you want Roman’s glasses? I swiped them from him when he wasn’t looking.” Janus said as he dug around in his other pocket and produced a pair of black sunglasses that were almost comically large. Remus stared at them, half of him in disbelief and the other half wanting to laugh at the absurdity of them. But… they would work.

Remus nodded minutely, carefully taking the sunglasses before shoving them onto his face and trying to push himself to his feet. Unfortunately, his body apparently was revolting as his attempts only resulted in the resounding thud of his head on the wall.

Blinking, Remus groaned but obliged the grip that he had to search a moment for in his suddenly dim surroundings.

Wow, these glasses are pretty strong, was what Remus wanted to say, but his voice was still betraying him, but by how he stretched his hands out, Janus still responded.

“Oh… yeah, those are pretty strong. They are technically mine, but Roman usually wears them when I don’t need them. He says it helps his look, which is mostly bullshit.” Remus full-on snorted, trying to hide it behind the thin excuse of a cough. Smirking, Janus offered his hand for Remus to grab and yanked Remus up, linking their arms once Remus was situated upright. “Yeah, I know, but he loves it and I love- I love him, so I tolerate the borderline thievery.”

His free hand flying to his face, Remus stifled another snort that definitely wasn’t a cough at Janus’s joke.

Wishing that his voice had worked, Remus let Janus lead him into the more bustling cafeteria, leaving the more secluded alcove near the cafeteria. Because if his voice had been working, Remus would’ve been absolutely howling in laughter.

Instead, Remus supplied a firm squeeze to Janus’s upper arm when he finally pulled his hand away from his mouth. Without looking at Remus, Janus lifted the side of his mouth in a smirk, not doing too much to react as they stepped into the very short line to get what they needed: yummy, yummy food.

“You decide what you want, I’ll see what I know everyone else would like.” Remus nodded as Janus unlinked their elbows, placing his hand on his chin thoughtfully as he began to analyze the menu. However, a flicker of a glance from Janus made clear Janus wasn’t completely disregarding Remus, after all, he had just had… a panic attack? Was that what that was? He hated that feeling. Now he got why Virgil was so distraught during and after the experience.

Oh yeah, they’ll be back soon, I’ll text them later… I don’t think I even have my phone right now.

Remus patted his pockets, eventually outlining the vague shape of his phone indeed in his pocket, separate from everything else he needed in case of emergencies, most of which he had at the very least considered using on Thomas when he came in. He was grateful that he had already put on his scrubs before Patton called or he would’ve had to change rapidly into them or just deal with not having the materials he could easily get with scrubs on.

Finally gazing up at the menu, it took a few moments for Remus to tip Janus’s sunglasses down because there was no way he was going to read the menu with them on.

It was a quick look over before Remus had in his mind exactly what he wanted, really there was no question. Janus wasn’t done by that point, though, and he waited patiently, pushing his sunglasses back over his likely red-rimmed eyes.

Good thing they have brunch, cause those actual chocolate chip pancakes look good. I hope they aren’t like the trash version of pancakes that we had at school.

As Remus waited, his stomach growled, the first indication since this whole ordeal started that he was actually hungry. Listening to his stomach for the first time in nearly a day, he began to fantasize about how the food would taste, how the sensation would feel. He usually liked eating new foods, which he was quickly running out of because there were only so many different foods until there weren’t any more, but right now he just wanted something familiar after all of… that.

That’s not something you see every day, me wanting something traditional. Who is this man?

Remus smirked before a grip on his arm signaled Janus was done.

“What do you want, Remus? Have you decided yet?” Remus nodded, not bothering to actually make eye contact as no one could see his eyes, so why bother when you could just… don’t. He pointed to the chocolate chip pancakes and frowned when Janus did a double-take at the menu, frowning himself.

“Huh, that’s what Roman likes too… Though, I guess twins have similar tastes. Ok, hello! I’m gonna get a thing of...” Janus kept talking, but his voice became background noise as Remus stared up at the menu, instinctively following Janus without a word.

Though he couldn’t make out the words properly behind the sunglasses, Remus stared right at where it had been as his thoughts washed over him.

Roman… still eats chocolate chip pancakes? Why would he do that? It was… our thing, our twin power fuel. I can’t even eat them without remembering that, why would he still be-

Remus almost heaved up the non-contents of his stomach without the slightest warning, which cut his thoughts short as if he hadn’t been yearning for food desperately just moments earlier. The movement was small and halted the moment it began, but that was enough for Janus to turn to Remus with a very subtle frown.

“Hold on a moment, I apologize. Remus, are you okay?” Remus nodded his head fervently, not wanting to alarm Janus or make a scene. Janus, however, leveled a simple eyebrow raise at Remus that had him instantly deflating. Waving a hand at Janus, Remus stepped over to the side, right beside the end of the counter.

Frowning even more, Janus lingered in place, fully focused on Remus before he snapped back to the person behind the counter. Remus wasn’t even paying attention to the people behind the counter, they were a ghost of an afterthought. Instead, his eyes were either on Janus or on a random spot in the room that wasn’t a person.

Body numb, Remus stood at the end of the counter as Janus moved closer and closer. Janus interacted with the undetermined person behind the counter before pushing a bag of food into Remus’s chest.

“Come on, let’s get back quick.”

Staring blankly at the bag for a few moments, it took a few moments before Remus wrapped his arm under the bag with one hand and grabbed the loops at the top of the bag that Janus was holding out for him.

Acting first, Janus stepped towards the exit and Remus wasted no time in following.

It wasn’t until the hallway that Janus dared to speak.

“Remus, I know I’ve asked already, but… are you really okay? You paled halfway through that and I was half expecting you to collapse or throw up or something.”

Remus jumped.

How does he know my tells so well? We’ve just met- wait… Roman’s my twin, of course we’re going to be a bit similar, so… I guess…

Remus sighed, running his right hand through his hair. “Later, just… I remembered something I hadn’t thought of in a while. Please don’t push me.”

His hand paused in his hair, though he never stopped walking. Drifting down, Remus ran his finger across his lips over and over. Remus’s voice was back.

“Oh, your voice is back. And don’t worry, I won’t push it. But… What did happen? I know you don’t know why, but when was the first time Roman was angry with you?”

“I- um..”

Remus stayed silent for a while once again, but found his voice just as there was a commotion behind them and a doctor that looked vaguely familiar flew past them. They were yelling something as, but everything was hectic enough that neither man caught what was said.

“Don’t turn left. Don’t turn left. Don’t turn left.” Remus muttered after the doctor.

And of course, the doctor reached the end of the hallways and ran left.

Exchanging only a single glance, both Janus and Remus began to pick up the pace. They were almost full-on running with how fast they were hurrying, the bags in their hands jostling the to-go boxes in them noisily.

“Did you recognize that doctor? I thought… wasn’t it..?”

Remus’s chest tightened painfully as he connected the details he’d noticed of the fleeting doctor. His face definitely paled.

“Dr. Kagan?”

Janus made an indescribable noise from beside Remus. The cacophony of the boxes still backdropped their heavy gasps of air as they ran down the halls back to Thomas’s room.

“Yeah, fuck!”

Through the twisting and turning hallways, it was only a matter of time before Janus turned off the wrong way.

“Wrong way, Jan. Come on!”

Cursing, Janus turned on his heel and speed-walked back to Remus, barely able to keep up with him now.

Before they turned the last corner to Thomas’s room, something stopped both of them in their tracks. Remus’s feet glue themselves to the spot and so did Janus.

Patton’s high, ear-piercing wail reverberated down the hallway, breaking both of their hearts in half.

#sotr #sort #sanders sides #roman sanders #patton sanders #janus sanders #remus sanders #royaliceit #dukeceit #platonic royality #chapter 8 #eventual romantic dlampr

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p-artsypants · 4 years

Text

Arcadia or Bust (16) Corner of Main and State

"Yeah, so mom…we made it to New Jersey, and we're all safe...but the Heartstone isn't really...impressive. So, we're bringing what we found home. See you soon!" In Which Arcadia welcomes back it's underground citizens, Jim gets used to mundane life as a Troll, and drama seeks them all out like a magnet.

Ao3 | FF.net

I’m rewatching Trollhunters, because it’s been like a year since I watched it, and the more I listen, the less the plot of Wizards makes sense to me. Don’t get me wrong, I loved it, but there’s some lore and continuity issues. That being said, I’ll continue to write this story using Trollhunter’s lore primarily, with a sprinkle of Wizards and 3Below lore as I see fit. :)

—

Jim had been through a lot of trauma in his life. At least since becoming the Trollhunter. But nothing was as jarring as looking down to his chest and seeing his ribcage, muscles, and heart beating.

They had taken the amulet from where it was nestled, and in return, left the gaping hole wide open, oozing with blood, and exposed. Could trolls get infections? Because humans certainly could, and this was just asking for infection.

He had been lying here alone for a few hours now. It was hard to tell exactly how long in the vast passage of time while drenched in pain.

When Colonel Kubritz appeared at his side, he wasn’t even surprised. Had he fallen asleep?

“How do you get this to work?” She bit. In her hand, she held the cleaned amulet, and it glowed, aching to be back with him.

“You can’t. You have to be chosen by it. Even if I die, it will pick someone else. And it might not be you.”

She slapped him for that, but it looked like it hurt her more than him, by the wince on her face. “Don’t give me that crap. Tell me how to work it!”

“Just speak the incantation inscribed.”

“We already tried that.”

He shrugged. “That’s all it is.”

She narrowed her eyes. “Teach me to use it, and I’ll let you go home.”

Jim sighed. It was pointless, but he may as well try.

—

Claire rang the doorbell at the designated house.

A surly man opened the door. “Yeah? What do you want? No solicitors! Unless you’re a girl scout…no, you’re too old. Are you with the tamale lady?”

“Hello sir, I’m not here to sell anything, I actually came to ask about the car you had totaled a few days ago.”

“Are you here to hunt down that devil that flipped my baby?!” He gestured to the smashed in car in the driveway. It looked drivable, but one bump away from death.

“Not quite...I’m actually here to fix it.”

“Fix it? You want to fix that? My mechanic couldn’t even fix it! And you want to! What are you, 15?”

“17, actually.”

“I doubt you have the experience for this, little lady.”

“Oh, I’m not a mechanic, I’m a sorceress.”

“A what now?”

“Sorceress, a witch! Do I have permission to fix your truck?”

“Girlie, if you can fix my truck, I’ll owe you a huge favor.”

“I was hoping you’d say that!” With a little skip, Claire went over to the truck and rested her hands on the hood. “Ad initium redire...” Her hands glowed purple, and pulsed against the metal, making it groan. Then it began to twist and crunch, popping out dents and welding pieces back together.

The old man stood in shock as his beloved truck knit back together, and when she was done, it was in perfect condition.

“How did—where did you—?!” He rounded the car, circling it like a vulture. “It’s perfect! You even took out that bump from years ago! You’re a miracle worker, girlie!”

Claire fell on her butt on the driveway, dizzy and winded. “Glad to help.”

“You alright?”

“Just a little winded. I’m still getting used to using magic, especially without a staff. It’s exhausting.”

“Well why don’t you take a seat up on the porch instead of the road? I’ll get you a beer.”

“I’m seventeen.”

“You’ve earned it!”

Claire chuckled to herself and climbed to her feet. She followed the man up his steps and took a seat on the porch swing while he went inside.

Only a minute later, he returned with beers in hand. “Here you are darlin’. Summertime ale. I’m partial to dark ale myself, but my neighbor got me this pale ale. It’s pretty good! You have a favorite?”

Claire took a sip and tried to hide the grimace. “I don’t really get to drink very often, unless it’s a special occasion.”

“Right right, we’ll keep it our little secret. Now then, I owe you a favor. You just saved me a whole chunk of change and a basket of anxiety. You must have something in mind since you offered?” He suddenly sat up straight. “Oh god, you don’t want my soul do you?”

Claire snorted. “No no, you can keep your soul! Don’t know what I would do with it anyways...You know the boy that damaged your truck in the first place?”

“I only saw a glimpse of him, that blue devil? What about him?”

“He’s actually my boyfriend, and he’s really very sweet and usually not like this. But he was...fed something he shouldn’t have had and it made him go berserk.”

“Crying shame.”

“I’ll say! So the army came in and took him away! They wouldn’t listen to us at all!”

“So what do you want me to do about it?”

“We are going to run a campaign to get him out. Hopefully, if we get enough attention on the issue, they’ll let him go.”

“Oh, I gotcha.”

“So if you could just...spread the truth around town? He’s actually the one that stopped that troll invasion back at the beginning of summer.”

The man looked surprised at that. “No kidding, that was him? Well, he’s a local hero! He’s been talked about a lot since then! Sure I’ll set the record straight! What’s this kid’s name?”

“Jim Lake Jr.”

“Got it! Don’t worry, I’ll bring it up at the lodge, and the rotary, and the chess club...”

—

The phone was ringing, he had been successfully patched through. Strickler sat in his office after hours, wanting to make the call as private as possible.

“Stricklander, I haven’t heard from you since the fall of the Janus order. What reason have you called on me?”

“Can’t I just call an old friend to catch up?”

“You? No.”

Walt cracked a smile. “Fine. I need a favor.”

“Changeling to changeling, or school principal to army general?”

“The latter, actually.”

The man on the other line laughed. “Color me intrigued.”

“You know of the human Trollhunter, correct?”

“Just what you wrote in your dossier, a human male, 16 years old, lives in Arcadia Oaks, California, turned half-troll by the wizard Merlin. Responsible for the death of Bular and Gunmar. Quite a remarkable young soul. Is there anything else to know?”

“He’s been captured by the United States Army.”

The man let out half a chuckle. “Captured? What dumb trouble did he get into?”

“His deadbeat father left out some cocaine for the boy to find, he thought it was trash, and ate it.”

Distantly on the other line, there was laughter, a strong bark of laughter that lasted far too long. When he came back, he was calm. “How unfortunate.”

“He’s a good kid. Why would there be a kilogram of cocaine in the trash anyways? I fail to see the humor in the situation.”

“Of course. So, I assume, he went on a rampage following his meal, and then attracted the attention of some of us?”

“So you haven’t heard about it?”

“Not where I’m stationed. But give me a moment.” The line went silent, only a very distant and quiet tapping of keys on a keyboard being tapped. Then the man returned. “I’m glad you told me about this. This incident hasn’t been reported to our database. That shows evidence of misconduct. Did you get the name of the commanding officer responsible, by chance?”

“Colonel Kubritz, I believe.”

More typing. “Area 49-B.”

“That name was also passed around.”

“Technically not my jurisdiction, and since she didn’t report it, I’m not supposed to know about it.”

“I’m afraid you will officially know about it soon.”

“Oh?”

“His friends and family, myself included, are going to put on a protest for his freedom. Drawing attention to the situation.”

That echoing laughter was back again.

“It wasn’t my idea, in case you were wondering.”

“I know, you wouldn’t come up with something so bold. Regardless, go ahead in through with it. I’ll make sure whatever protest happens gets brought to my superior’s attention, and then I will take it from there.”

“Thanks. I will owe you one.”

“Oh come now, Walter, we Changelings that survived the Fall of the Janus order have to stick together. Besides, I heard rumors that you’re caring for my familiar?”

“He’s still in the cradle stone, and the moment. One baby at a time, for now.”

“Then we’re even. Besides, this is the most interesting thing that’s happened in a while. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“Your kindness is refreshing. I’m glad Gunmar didn’t eat you.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“We’ll be in touch then, Samuel.”

“Of course, Walter.”

—

“How goes the car repair?” Asked Merlin, as he met up with Toby and Claire in the park.

“Ugh, exhausting. First I stopped at the mechanics, and they’re still backed up with fixing other cars. Apparently, Gunmar’s army did a number and backed them up for months. But they gave me the names of all the clients who got totaled from Jim. I had to hit the scrap yard for four of them, and I just finished another two in driveways.”

“How many does that leave you with?”

“Seven more,” she sighed. “How goes the road work?”

“It goes. Now come along, there’s someone I’d like you to meet.” He didn’t wait for them to follow as he turned and started walking away.

Sharing a dubious look, Toby and Claire quickly caught up with him. He led them to a bookstore, where a young man was sweeping outside.

“Hisirdoux, my faithful and loyal apprentice—“

“You're damn straight I’m loyal!” He shouted. “Where have you been? I’ve been cleaning tables for the last 900 years!”

“Calm yourself boy, I’m here now, aren’t I? And I need your help.”

“Finally! What is it? Just say the word!”

“I need you to go with Miss Claire Nuñez and help her restore recently smashed vehicles.”

“What?”

“Or, you can repair street damage.”

Douxie crossed his arms. “What is this? I saw what happened! There were trolls, and evidence of Morgana! And now you need my help? To clean up, several months later?”

“That is correct.”

“Why didn’t you call for me back then?!”

“I forgot.”

“You forgot? About me?”

“Oh come now, don’t take it personally. I was busy trying to prepare the Trollhunter to fight Gunmar. And get my magic back from Morgana.”

Douxie seemed to become more sympathetic at that. “Morgana stole your magic?”

“Yes, but it’s all in the past now. Everything is fine. Well, not really. Seems that the US Army has declared the Trollhunter as a menace to society. We must get the trust of the city on our side if we are to get them to trust us, and agree that his capture is unjust.”

“Please,” said Claire. “We need all the help we can get.”

Douxie sighed. “Alright. Afterwards, you’re training me again.” He gave Merlin a hard look. “And no amateur magic either. I’ve been doing the same drills for 900 years. I think I’m ready for more advanced work.”

“Oh, you will be. Starting with helping Miss Nuñez field her shadow magic.”

Douxie looked at her, in awe. “You’re practicing shadow magic? Truly?”

“It’s a recent development…”

“She took Morgana’s Skathe-Hrün, and wielded it without any training. Because of that she has a tether to Morgana in the Shadow realm, who has been teaching her ever so slightly. I’m not allowed to train her, but she could use the guidance of a Wizard in the physical realm. Do you understand Hisirdoux?”

“I do, and I’ll be happy to teach her…I’m just…I’ll need a moment or two to digest the sentence you just said.”

“Well, don’t take too long, we have a Trollhunter to rescue!”

—

There was a heavy knock on the door, which was never a good thing. Especially nowadays.

Still, Barbara went to the door.

Standing there was Detective Scott and James Lake Sr.

“Does this belong to you?” Asked the detective.

“I don’t claim him, no.”

Her almost ex-husband smiled at her, pleadingly, “Please Babs?”

“What is he even doing out? You arrested him!”

“About that…” Detective Scott winced. “We don’t have enough to keep him on.”

“What!” She shouted. “He confessed in front of a bunch of people!”

“Which would be helpful if we had a case for a trial. But as it stands, he doesn’t actually have any drugs on him. And we don’t have a confession on tape. So…we’re shit out of luck.”

“Oh come on Louis, you know the cocaine came from him! Where else would Jim have gotten it from?”

“Look, the chief’s not thrilled that we didn’t arrest the guy responsible for trashing the town, but we’re supposed to arrest someone else without evidence?”

Barbara threw her hands up in the air. “With probable cause!”

“That doesn’t work with drug dealers. He’s clean, Barbara. All the blood tests came back clean too.”

“Ugh.”

The house shook slightly, and Barbara felt the floor bow behind her. “Is there a problem, officer?” Asked Draal.

“Nothing you can help with, Draal. Thank you.” Barbara sighed. “James is not being charged.”

“But he is a criminal, this degenerate flesh bag poisoned the Trollhunter! He should face banishment for his crimes!”

James withered a little with the glare Draal gave him.

“Well,” said Officer Scott. “Maybe you can keep an eye on him from now on. If you have evidence that he is dealing, like physical traces of cocaine on the premises, call us. But for now, there’s not much else we can do.”

“This is ludicrous.”

“I know, I’m sorry Barbara. How is Jim?”

She frowned. “You haven’t heard? The army came and collected him from the hospital!”

Louis sputtered. “The army came?!”

“Yes!”

“Where were they when Gunmar was terrorizing us?” He scoffed. “Again, sorry Barbara, I can’t help you here.”

“It’s alright. We’ve got a plan.”

“Love to hear it, but I’ve got to get back to the office. I’m sure Toby will tell Darci, and she’ll tell me. Good luck!” And he left James on the porch.

“Babs, I’m sorry…”

“Save it.” Barbara scoffed, but allowed him in the house.

Draal never took his eyes off the man.

“Well, you’ll be happy to know I have no more supply. And after Rudy found out what happened to my last Kilo, she’s not getting anymore for me. So…”

“I’ll have to thank Jim for keeping a kilogram of Cocaine off the streets of Arcadia. We have a fairly low rate of drug use around here, and we don’t need you to ruin people’s lives.”

James sighed, knowing he had dodged a huge bullet by being let off the hook. He’d rather deal with his wife than with his ex-associates in jail any day. “I think I’ve still ruined people’s lives anyway.” He walked into the living room, only to halt at the signs on the table.

Release Jim Lake Jr.

Justice for Jim

Let Lake Go!

“Babs, what is all this?”

“That’s part of our plan to free Jim! I’m friends with the councilwoman, and she suggested that we campaign for his release. Bringing a lot of unwanted attention onto his capture will stir the government to let him go!”

James jutted out his jaw, a sign of barely concealed rage. An expression Barbara had grown very used to in the last few months. “So, you’re going to put his name—my name in the news? You’re going to broadcast what city we live in?”

“Yes.”

He whirled on her, grabbing her arm. “Babs, people are looking for me! Horrible, mean, and ruthless people! If you put his name out there, they’ll know where to look!”

“All the better! Then they can come take you off my hands!”

“You don’t understand! I owe them a lot of money, and they’ll take it anyway they can! That includes extorting you, Jim, and whoever else they connect with me!”

Draal stepped in, removing his hand from Barbara’s arm. “This house is under my protection. If anyone dare tries to enter, they will be dealt with swiftly.”

“You don’t know what these men are capable of.”

“I assure you, I’ve decimated armies of flesh bags in my day. These men are no different.”

Barbara smiled. “If you’re really that scared, I hear Vermont is lovely this time of year.”

James just narrowed his eyes, before storming out of the room.

—

The first rally took place from 3pm to dusk, starting from after school, and leading up to when Trolls would be able to participate. Granted, it was only a handful of people, but standing in the middle of downtown did garner a lot of attention. More than a dozen people walking past had stopped to ask about the cause. They were then given a short synopsis of the situation, as it pertained to them:

“Jim is a 16 year old student who was chosen by the trolls to be our protector. He willingly gave up his humanity to defeat Gunmar the Black, the monstrous troll that attacked the city at the beginning of the summer. Now, he looks like a troll, and was sabotaged to go into a rage and damage the city. The US army took him away without a trial! He’s a hero to the city, and deserves fair treatment!”

Reactions ranged from:

“Oh, he stopped that thing?”

To:

“Oh my god! He’s just a child!”

Overwhelmingly, there was no negative feedback, at least in person. But it was only day one.

—

“This daylight...is it significant?” The colonel asked, as she circled his table.

“It’s just a name.” Jim lied. “A sword with a name is stronger than one without.”

“Interesting. Interesting indeed. According to my notes, trolls turn to stone in daylight. Any correlation there?”

So she already knew? Then what was the point? Was she just playing with him?

“I’m the Trollhunter, and I fight bad trolls. It would make sense to name my sword after something they’re afraid of.”

She hummed. “And what about you?”

“What about me?”

“Are you afraid of daylight?”

“Why would I be?”

The colonel laughed. “Oh Jim Lake Jr. You’re the worst liar I’ve ever met. You are honest and forthcoming with truths that work in your favor. You freely told me of your transformation, and of your victory against a Troll tyrant. But now that I’m edging on the topic of your weakness, you clam up and give me vague answers. I can do this all day, beast. What does daylight do to you?”

“Nothing. It doesn’t do anything to me.”

“Really? Even as a troll? That’s interesting.”

“It’s fortunate.”

“I would say so. Though, now you’ve got me curious. These burns on your skin…where did they come from?” She dragged her fingernail over one of the dark marks.

Jim winced. “I don’t know. I wasn’t aware in my rage state.”

“Then you won’t mind if I find out for myself?” She crooked a finger towards the shadows. Jim could hear the creak of wheels before a lamp with several fixtures was wheeled forward.

“Oh no…”

“UV lights, all different wattages. Let’s see what works the best, hmm?”

—

ARCADIA TRIBUNE

Justice for Jim

By Nadja Chamack

Who is Jim Lake Jr. anyway? This is a question I asked myself as I drove downtown three days ago. No doubt, you’ve seen the crowd of students and teachers holding signs on the corner of Main and State Street. It’s pretty hard to miss, quite honestly. Among the students, there’s also Councilwoman Nuñez, and resident Troll Mascot, ARRRGH! Signs range from ‘Justice for Jim’ to ‘Free our Lake’.

But who is Jim Lake Jr.? And what happened? A precursory search on my end showed only a scant few facts. Jim is a student at Arcadia Highschool, in his Junior year. He was nominated as Spring Fling King last year, and played the part of Romeo in the school play. His criminal record seemed pretty clean too. A misdemeanor for scratching a rental scooter was all that showed up. But hey, who hasn’t done that?

So I went to the source, his family and friends campaigning for him. On Saturday, the group was downtown, campaigning all day long, so I had the chance to interview each and every person about why they were there.

Turns out, Jim Lake Jr. might be the most amazing person in Arcadia.

From his mother, Dr. Barbara Lake, I learned that Jim is an Arcadia native, born and raised here. He enjoys cooking gourmet food, working on his vespa, and acting.

Oh, and he’s the first human Trollhunter.

What? You’ve never heard of a Trollhunter? Me neither. But Barbara and Blinky, another resident Troll, gave me the scoop.

You all remember that night at the beginning of the summer that we all promised not to talk about? Well, I’m going to talk about it. In fact, I’m here to give you all the answers you’ve been craving.

Many months before that fateful night, a new Trollhunter was chosen, after the previous one had perished. “The Trollhunter is chosen according to his mettle, by the amulet of the Trollhunter, as created by Merlin, the wizard of Arthurian legend. Jim was chosen after the fall of Kanjigar, his predecessor. Jim is the first human to be chosen, also the smallest and weakest. But, he was the first to defeat Bular, son of Gunmar!” Said his mentor, Blinky. None of this made any sense to me at first, though it was said with great enthusiasm.

It turns out, the trolls that we’ve gotten used to seeing around town, mostly ARRRGH, are ‘good’ trolls. The bad trolls, ‘Gum-gums’ are what invaded our town and destroyed my car. The Trollhunter’s whole job is to fight off these bad trolls, and gnomes, and goblins, and everything else that goes bump in the night. And so he did. The Gum-Gums invaded from the ‘Darklands’, being led by a fearsome troll named Gunmar the Black, the Skullcrasher, the Dark Lord…he had a lot of names, and it was obviously a bad dude. Gunmar had plans to invade the whole world by blotting out the sun, a.k.a the eclipse we saw. And he would have gotten away for it too, if it weren’t for those meddling kids!

Mainly Jim Lake Jr. and his friends.

And how does a sixteen year old defeat a couple millennia old, bloodthirsty, all powerful tyrant? With a fancy sword? Close. With some magical armor? Closer. By giving up a part of his humanity and becoming a half-human, half-troll hybrid? Now you’re getting it! Yes, to protect Arcadia, to protect us, Jim Lake Jr. allowed himself to be changed. You may have seen him around town. Blue skin, big horns...okay, I just described most of the trolls that are around here.

“Jim works the night shift at my store,” said Stu Harding, owner of Thrifty Furnishings. “He’s a very hard worker, and always willing to do the heavy lifting that is hard for the other employees to do.”

“Despite his appearance, Jim ultimately decided to attend school,” said Principal Walter Strickler. “After the school found out about why he had missed so many days of school, they were willing to move him onto the next grade to be with his peers. He was a good student before all this, and he fought really hard to keep his grades up regardless. We felt he should still have the opportunity to graduate. We were looking forward to having him on our football team, and in our spring production of Beauty and the Beast.”

So what happened to Jim? And why is there such a big campaign for his freedom?

Well, the truth is that Jim is a victim of unfortunate circumstances. In more ways than one, obviously. Trolls eat our trash. That’s why Arcadia has such a small carbon footprint! (Be sure to thank ARRRGH next time you see him!) And this trait was adopted by Jim too, when he was transformed.

“He just picked a bunch of items out of the trash. Cans, an old sock, and what looked like a VHS wrapped in duct tape,” said Jim’s best friend, Toby Dolmzalski. “It was a normal lunch for him. But right in the middle of gym class, he turned crazy town banana pants and took off! I had never seen Jim act like that! Ever!”

After an 8 hour rage through town, Jim collapsed and was taken to the hospital for evaluation. It turns out what Jim had ingested turned out to be a kilogram of pure cocaine!

At this time, it is unknown where the cocaine came from, or if it was planted purposefully. (Seriously, who throws away a kilogram of cocaine?)

But the damage that Jim caused was extensive enough to catch the attention of the US army, who has taken Jim into captivity from the hospital. No trial, no rights, they even took him while he was unconscious. His friends and family have not heard from him since.

“I’m so worried,” said girlfriend, Claire Nuñez. “He was injured from the battle with Gunmar, and didn’t completely heal. In the hospital, he was covered in burns from the sun. I have no idea if they’re caring for him properly, or dissecting him like some creature. But he deserves so much better than this. He saved our town, he saved my life, and the life of my baby brother. That’s why we won’t rest until he’s home!”

“Not bad,” said ARRRGH, long time friend of Jim. “Good troll have bad days, best trolls have worse days. Jim need some good days.”

Couldn’t have said it better myself, ARRRGH.

Friends and family of Jim are asking everyone share #JusticeforJim on social media, hoping to get the attention of someone in charge. All the damage caused by Jim has been repaired, and there were no casualties from his attack.

Of course, the whole ‘troll’ aspect of this story has to be a local legend. So when sharing it to social media, kindly leave that part out.

—

“C-Bomb!” Mary shouted from the other end of the hall. She came running and almost crashed into Claire and Toby, holding her phone up in the air. “My twitter feed is blowing up, girl! Look at all of this!” She held the screen up so they could see.

“Citizen abducted by the government, is this China or North Korea? Neither! It’s the US! #JusticeforJim”

“Imagine if this was your son. So sad, and so scary! #JusticeforJim”

“This is real life, not science fiction #JusticeforJim”

“Whoa, where did these all come from?” Asked Claire. “What did you post?”

“Did you know Snapper Karr did a report on it!?”

“Snapper Karr? From KTTV in LA?”

“Yes! Thankfully, he left out the whole troll thing. I’ll send you a link. In his story, Jim is just a kid that has a rare genetic disorder that makes him look different, and so the government took him away!”

Claire winced. “This is…kind of spiraling out of control.”

“I don’t know why you’re worrying, Claire,” said Darci. “We want people talking about Jim getting abducted. It doesn’t matter if the world outside Arcadia doesn’t have all the facts. They still know he’s been taken away without a trial, and that’s all that’s important. Besides, Jim doesn’t want the whole world knowing about Trolls, right?”

She nodded. “As long as this works, I’ll be happy.”

“And sensationalist stories like this blow up for like a week, and then they die out and are forgotten. This won’t last.” Mary waved her hand. “It should work long enough to get Jimmy Jam out though.” Then she squealed. “OMG you know what we should do?! We should totally have a welcome home party! Or-or a parade! Like they have for veterans!”

“Mary, I don’t think—“

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it! You’re not the only one with ties to the city!” And she hurried off, texting frantically.

“What’s up Claire? I would have thought you’d be ecstatic the hashtag went viral.” Asked Toby.

“Don’t get me wrong, I am happy. And I’m happy that Snapper Karr chalked the troll thing up to local legend or superstition…but I can’t help but worry that something bad is going to come out of this.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know. It’s just a gut feeling.” She scoffed and went to her locker. “It’s dumb, don’t worry about it.”

No sooner had she said that, did Strickler appear. “Claire, Toby, come with me.”

“What?”

“I’ve already spoken with your teachers, now come along.”

Claire and Toby shared a look, but followed regardless.

—

They were led to the parking lot, where a black van with tinted windows waited, a huge red flag, if there ever was one.

“Umm…” said Toby.

“Don’t worry.” Strickler assured.

A man in an army uniform stepped out of the driver seat. “Walter, good to see you again.”

“Glad to see you as well, Samuel. And thank you for following through with your promise.”

“As I said, this is the most interesting thing to happen in a while.” He glanced at the two teenagers in attendance. “We’re just waiting for his mother, correct?”

“She should be here soon.”

Toby muttered to Claire, “Who’s Jorgen Von Strangle over here?”

“No idea.”

And just like that, Barbara pulled into the parking lot, haphazardly parked, and ran over to them, still in her scrubs. “I came as soon as I could! We’re going to get Jim?!”

“What?!” Screamed Toby. “We’re rescuing him?!”

“That is the goal,” the man answered. “I’m General Samuel Attila. I’ve been given authorization to intervene in this situation, given that this project, whatever it is, hasn’t been officially recorded. But, bear in mind, you may not like what you see. We may be bringing home Jim, or just his body. I don’t know. So if anyone is uncomfortable with that idea, I suggest you stay behind.”

“I’m going,” Said Toby. “No matter what.”

“Me too,” said Claire. “It’ll hurt, but I want to know what happened to him.”

“Alright, then let’s hurry. The facility is about an hour away.” He ushered everyone into the van, which had two front seats, two benches along the walls, and a gurney in the middle. As soon as everyone was buckled, they headed out.

“Hey, if you know Mr. Strickler, does that mean you’re a…?”

“A what, Toby?” Asked Walt, with a hint of amusement in his tone.

“A…man of culture?”

“Yes, I am a changeling.”

Toby exhaled. “Okay, it’s like super hard to ask that question when you don’t know who knows, you know?”

“I owe the Trollhunter a debt of gratitude for stopping Gunmar. After he ate the entirety of the Janus order, we the few that weren’t present for his return stayed in hiding. Had Gunmar taken over the world, my death as a traitor would have been slow and painful. We were thinking about sending him a thoughtful gift basket, but I think this is more fun. I love to bully those in lower ranks. The fleshbags get a few pretty badges and think they’re invincible. I love watching them cower!”

Toby leaned closer to Claire. “He was so nice and helpful, I was beginning to wonder if he was actually a changeling.”

“Same! But I actually feel better knowing he’s got ulterior motives, and that they have nothing to do with us.”

“Have you heard from Nomura lately?” Samuel asked Walter.

“She was in Arcadia for a while. She helped with the fight with Gunmar. Right now, I believe she’s on her way back from New Jersey.”

“New Jersey? What was she doing out there?”

“After Morgana and Gunmar destroyed the Heartstone, Jim and Blinky went in search of a new one.”

“Oh, yes. I forgot there were rumors of a source in New Jersey. Did they find it?”

“Yep,” said Claire. “But it wasn’t very big, so we brought it back to Arcadia in a truck. The rest of the tribe is making their way back on foot.”

“Ah, that explains it.” Samuel nodded. “You’re both very lucky. Not many Changeling’s are allowed in Trollmarket.”

“Now that Gunmar’s out of the picture, I’m sure you could visit too!” Toby exclaimed, before getting elbowed in the gut by Claire.

“It’d be nice to see it once. I’m sad I didn’t get to see the Heartstone in its glory, but such is life.”

The rest of the ride continued in relative silence. Strickler and Samuel spoke to each other, mostly catching up. But Toby, Claire, and Barbara were far too anxious to keep up with the conversation.

There were no windows in the back of the vehicle, so there was no way of knowing where they were. From the front, they looked to be in a weaving forest trail.

Then there were huge cement walls in front of them.

Samuel pulled in the front gate.

The man at the gate didn’t look up from his computer. “You’re not authorized to be here.”

“Excuse me?”

“I don’t recognize your vehicle, so I know you don’t have clearance.”

Samuel sat up a little straighter, glaring at the soldier at the gate. “How about you scan my badge first, and then tell me if I have clearance, Lieutenant.”

The soldier gave a little shrug and reached out for the badge, his eyes widening as he caught a glance at the four stars on the man’s shoulder. “Oh.”

“Problem?”

“No, sir. I just…I don’t need to scan your badge, you can go in.”

“Thank you. At ease soldier.”

Toby held back a snicker.

“And, let Colonel Kubritz know she has company.”

“Yes sir.”

“As you were.”

The gate rolled open, and they pulled through.

It seemed like Samuel’s message was received pretty quickly, because the woman that had taken Jim was waiting for them, flanked by soldiers with strange weapons.

“Stay in the car.” He told everyone, before getting out.

“I was not aware of any sort of inspection. You are not my commanding general, and therefore not welcome here. This facility holds highly dangerous equipment and confidential projects.”

“Stand down, Colonel. I am here on behalf of general Adele. I’m here to recover Jim Lake Jr. General Adele will be speaking to you about your discharge.”

“What are you talking about?” She demanded.

“You kidnapped a teenage boy from a hospital. Surely you didn’t think that wouldn’t go unnoticed? I have video evidence of you leaving the hospital with him.”

“He’s not a normal boy—“

“I’d say so! His whole town is hailing him as a hero for saving them from an invasion! I thought this facility was for research on protecting Earth from invaders. And you’re punishing a boy for saving a town?”

“He also destroyed it. Don’t give into their little campaign. Jim Lake Jr. may have done something good once, but that doesn’t stop him from being a monster.”

“I was just in Arcadia, Colonel. There is no damage. There’s no lawsuits against Jim Lake Jr. There’s not even any pending arrests.”

“I have video evidence of his destruction!” She barked.

“Then let the local police handle it.”

She growled, then commanded her men to stand down. “Fine. But if he does this again, no one will stop me from taking him.”

“Actually,” he clarified with a smirk. “You’re being discharged. So you won’t have any means to take him again.”

Her mouth opened in shock, as she fought to find an argument.

But he was a general, he was above her.

“Now, Jim Lake Jr.?”

She grumbled something and started off towards a big central building.

Samuel was quick to beckon the others out of the car to follow him, and headed towards the same building as Kubritz.

When Barbara reached them, she spoke, “you didn’t hurt my son, did you?”

Kubritz didn’t even look at her. “I don’t have to share information with civilians.”

Claire clenched her fists in anger, a black haze coming over her hands.

But Toby simply patted her on the back to ground her.

Colonel Kubritz led them through the research facility, ignoring their questions.

They reached the room Jim was being held in, and she entered her code to open the door.

Of course, Jim wasn’t the only thing in the room, being surrounded by specimens of all sorts of living creatures, but he was right in the center, with a spot light right on him.

“Jim!” Claire shouted first as she ran to him.

The poor boy was naked, lying on his back and strapped to the table with thick iron bonds. His wound from Morgana wasn’t the worst on him anymore, as he was covered in blackened burned spots. The spot that had the amulet was now just a hole in his chest, that went right down to the ribs. Claire could see his heart beating, and his lungs moving, thank god.

“Jim...” she cried, seeing the carnage.

“What did you do to him?!” Toby shouted at the Colonel, but she didn’t respond.

“Honey? Jim? Can you hear me?” Barbara asked, as she assessed the damage.

His eyes opened ever so slightly. “Mom? Is that you? Are you...really here?”

“Yeah kiddo,” she wiped some tears from her eyes. “It’s me, I’m here. Toby, Claire, and Walt are here too. We’re going to take you home.”

His smile was just a hint, and he stated, “I’m tired.”

“I’m sure you are. We’re going to get you fixed up!” She turned to the Colonel. “Get me a gurney or a wheelchair!”

She scoffed. “I don’t take orders from civilians.”

Samuel interceded. “Then get me a soldier who isn’t completely incompetent! If you’re going to continue to endanger the life of this young man, then I suggest you get out of my sight before I endanger yours.”

The Colonel didn’t waver, though a tremor went down her spine. “Lieutenant!” She called.

A man hurried into the room, standing at attention.

Kubritz just gave a roll of the eyes. “Follow whatever order the general gives you.”

“But—“

“No, I’m done.” With one last glare to Samuel, she added, “I'll be sending my evidence to General Adele, then we’ll see who’s the one putting the nation in danger.”

“Go ahead, I’ve already given my report.”

She growled at him, turned and left without another word.

The lieutenant just stood at attention in front of Samuel instead. “Orders sir?”

“Get someone to fetch the gurney from the back of our van, and send for the medic! And get someone to get these shackles off this kid!”

“Sir yes sir!”

Meanwhile, Claire stood right by Jim’s side, holding his hand, brushing the bangs away from his face and combing his hair with her fingers. He had a pretty strong fever.

“You’re going to be alright Jim. We’re going to take good care of you.”

“I’m…cold…” He breathed.

Barbara found some vinyl gloves nearby and got to work examining her boy. “I don’t know about the Troll half, but this tissue looks alright. I don’t see any infection yet, or any tissue death. Of course, we need to get this covered immediately.”

“Where’s the amulet?” Asked Walt. “That’s what’s missing.”

“The amulet!” Barbara addressed Samuel. “His amulet, we have to find it!”

He nodded, “we can’t let these psychos have it. They have no idea what magic it possesses, even without being the chosen wielder.”

Only a beat passed before the army medic came with the gurney, and another soldier came with a crowbar to undo the shackles.

“Lieutenant, we’re looking for an amulet that came with Jim. It’s what’s missing from his chest.”

The Lieutenant blanched. “I don’t know anything about it…I can ask the Colonel?”

“She won’t tell.”

The shackles fell free from Jim’s limbs, but he didn’t seem to register it.

“Alright,” said Barbara, “Let’s move him onto the gurney. We can worry about the amulet later.” It took everyone to lift him and carefully slide him over. Then, he was covered up to his stomach with a blanket.

“You’re going home, Jim. Mi amor, you’re safe now.” Claire whispered, kissing his forehead.

“Hmm…” Jim weakly groaned. “…for the…glory…” But before he could finish, he fell back into sleep.

#arcadia or bust #tales of arcadia #Trollhunters #troll jim #jim lake junior #claire nunez #toby domzalski #fanfiction

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98prilla · 4 years

Text

Changing Tides

AO3

...

“ROMAN! Stop!” Logan was screaming at him, as he heard the distant splash in the water, but he didn’t care. Anger unlike anything he’d ever known was swelling in his chest, pure and utter loathing that he pushed into his song, making it so utterly warm and wonderful it was a calculated sort of cruel.

In his song, the man’s ‘wife’ had loved him, given up the sea for him. They raised a beautiful baby boy together, with love, they shared fond, warm memories, happy memories, and then, as his hope and lightness was at it’s peak, Roman ripped it all away, his song going cold and sharp as he forced reality back in, forced him to see what he’d done, forced the pain he’d shoved onto others back at him ten fold, until the man couldn’t stand the grief and plunged himself, helpless into the waters, a vicious sort of satisfaction welling as the man sunk deeper, helpless against his song, against the waves.

“Virgil.” He recoiled, his song shattering on his lips as he gasped in a breath, the music abruptly stopping as he choked on his own voice, shoving it down, silencing it inside himself with monumental effort.

“logan…” he gasped out, shaking as his vision cleared, as the seething hate faded to emptiness in his chest, something in him cracking. “I was going to do it. I was… I couldn’t stop…” He felt a comforting hand on his cheek, and looked up at Logan.

“I know. I’m angry too. I would have lost control as well. But that’s why there’s two of us, to keep each other in check.” Logan swam up and poked his head just above water, seeing a sopping wet drunk sputtering, clinging to the pier, Janus’s boat well out to sea already. “Now, let’s go catch up with Janus. This mission isn’t over, yet.”

Roman nodded, taking a deep breath, following in Logan’s wake as he swam up to the boat, launching himself up so he was sitting on the edge of the main deck.

“I assume you-“ He cut himself off, eyes widening at the state of Janus. He was sitting on the ground, legs stretched in front of him, leaning against the mast. Logan could see patches of red soaking through his dark coat.

“Got it? Yes, I did.” He held up a folded piece of clothing, a tired, triumphant smile on his face. “Tell Roman to be careful with it, won’t you?” Logan took it, slipping back into the water, handing it off to Roman with a short nod, as the larger mer took off at full speed, wake left in his trail. He hopped back on deck with a sigh.

“What happened?” He asked, Janus already removing his shirt so Logan could heal him, wincing as it stuck to the wounds peppered across his torso.

“The fool shot me.”

“Was smart enough to shoot you with something that would actually do damage.” Logan murmured, assessing the injuries with a clinical eye. Janus huffed.

“Keep complimenting him, why don’t you, just leave me to bleed out.”

“You’re worse than Roman, I swear. Stay still, and I’ll be done faster.” Logan rolled his eyes, soft green power lighting up the deck, Janus for once doing his best to do as he was told.

…

The music was jarring. Its discordant chords shrieked and screeched in his ears, like glass scratching and squealing, like nails on a chalkboard. He was being tossed and turned by the waves of sound, clawing at his skull, drowning him in sound, and he opened his mouth to scream, but only a whimper escaped, choking on the water that seemed to fill his lungs, burning with every breath.

“shh, I know, baby. Just keep breathing for me, ok? Just keep hanging in there.” He knew that voice, through all the rocking and roiling turmoil swallowing his senses, he knows that voice, could feel the soft rag dabbing at his forehead, the water doing nothing to soothe the burning heat inside him, the tsunami waves trying to drag him under.

It’s getting so hard, now, to breath. To think. The music was sweeping over him, dragging to the depths, and he gasped for air, but was met with nothing, water filling his lungs as he choked and sputtered and heaved, clawing, flailing, desperate for anything, any relief, any air, there isn’t any air-

Distantly, a note. Soaring and high and sweet. It cut through the rest, not his, not from his own mind, and distantly, he felt himself being lifted, felt sea air on his face, shivering at the sudden cold, starting to lose the final shreds of awareness as he went completely limp.

…

“No, no, no, come on Virgil, come on buddy, we're almost there.” Patton pled, feeling the boy go limp in his arms, barely a breathy wheeze escaping his lips.

“Roman, you have it, please, you have to have it!” he gasped out, letting out a breathy sob as Roman silently held out a sweater.

Without a second thought, he carefully laid Virgil on the sandy beach, shaking so hard he could barely pull the kids arms through the sweater sleeves.

“Please. Come on Virgil. Wake up.” Roman, voice a mere whisper, carefully pushing back Virgil's hair, shaking at the silence from the small human, breath not even rattling his chest anymore.

“No, no, no, nothing's happening, why isn't anything happening?” Patton asked, frantically searching Virgil's face for any sign of life.

“The zipper. Patton, zip up the sweater!” Patton's eyes widened and he fumbled against the fabric, cursing his clumsy fingers for every extra second it took to find the metal and slide it closed.

There was a shining light, for a moment it blinded them both, a distant song filling the air with sweet notes, before vanishing, leaving them looking at Virgil with twin expressions of awe.

His tail was long and slender, sparkling with deep violet scales that gradually lightened until they met his tail. Sensitive, strong, but nearly paper thin fins flared out at either side of the end of his tail, an electric deep pink, each one rippling and shining a thousand different shades in the dim morning light.

“Oh gods, he's gorgeous.” Patton breathed out, Roman opening his mouth to reply, freezing as Virgil made a soft sound, hands curling weakly into the sand, eyes slowly flickering open.

“Ro-roman?” Roman nearly cried at that voice, as small and scared as it was.

“Hey there, stormy night. You… you’re going to be just fine, alright? Just get some more rest, for me.” He murmured, letting a hint of music slip into his voice, a soothing lullaby, that had Virgil drifting into a deep, dreamless sleep almost instantly.

“now what?” Roman asked, sinking back into the water, eyes drifting back to Virgil, unable to look away from his beautiful, glimmering scales, noticing the ones outlining his eyes for the first time, along with small fins on either side of his neck, flaring slightly in and out with each breath of his gills.

“He needs to stay in the water, for now, at least. He needs the ocean. Take him back to Logan’s?” Patton asked, feeling Virgil’s forehead, letting out a long breath. “His fever’s broke, but he’s gonna be exhausted.”

“Pat… are you sure?” Roman asked, knowing how attached the selkie had already become to Virgil, thinking of him as his own kid. Patton nodded, looking back up at Roman.

“I’ll wait here for Janus and Logan to get back, fill them in. I’ll check on the kiddo later. I know you’ll take care of him, Ro.” Roman nodded, smiling smally as Patton kissed Virgil’s forehead, before backing up, letting Roman carefully scoop up the small merrow.

Instantly, the kid curled against him, tucking his head against the crook of Roman’s elbow, his long tail draping over his other forearm. He stirred slightly before resettling, going limp against him with a small sigh.

“alright, little mer, let’s get you resting.” He murmured softly, shooting Patton one last small smile, before slipping beneath the waves, careful not to buffer Virgil too much in the water, keeping a careful eye on him to make sure his gills kicked into action fine, letting out a low breath when nothing seemed to be wrong and Virgil kept sleeping soundly, as he cruised into Logan’s cave.

He tried to settle the kid down on one of the soft kelp beds, but as soon as he moved to back away, Virgil cried out, clinging weakly to him, his gill fins flaring out in distress.

“ok, ok, I’m sorry, I’m not going anywhere.” He placated quickly, laying down next to Virgil, who instantly snuggled back up to him. he chuckled, careful and gentle as he curled around the merrow, humming softly, watching Virgil sleep peacefully, letting his voice carry wherever it wanted.

…

Soft. He was on something soft, something swaying against his skin. He was warm, too, pleasantly so, not burning up. He snuggled closer to the warmth, yawning, snapping his eyes open as he felt a low rumble.

Instantly, he jerked away, yelping as he shot backwards, something wrong with his legs. He tried to kick and went sprawling, already starting to hyperventilate as simply breathing felt strange, felt wrong, something on either side of his neck moving instead of his lungs, and god, he was drowning again, wasn’t he?

“virgil. Virgil you need to breath. Everything is ok.” Logan tried to placate, and that was wrong too, where was he, how was he here, what was happening?

“can’t. can’t… it won’t… can’t-“ He choked out, black spots exploding through his vision.

“You can. I know it feels different, but you can. Just breathe, in and out.” Logan said softly, taking Virgil’s hands in his, the kid instantly squeezing onto them for dear life. “In and out, Virgil. Nice and slow.” Logan coaxed, relaxing a bit himself as he saw Virgil’s breathing start to even out, though it was still too fast and shallow for his liking.

“what... happened? What… what is this, Logan, what…” Virgil’s gill fins were flared wide in distress, on the verge of panicking again.

“Virgil. You’re ok.” His eyes shot to Roman’s, wide and disbelieving.

“Yeah, you both keep saying that, but I’M BREATHING WATER AND SUDDENLY HAVE A FUCKING TAIL!” He screamed, said tail slapping against the bottom of the cave, ripping his hands from Logan’s and tangling them in his hair, curling in on himself, panic overwhelming him once again.

He felt a hand on his shoulder, and recoiled, hissing, the spasm of his tail sending him flying through the water, gasping as it propelled him into a wall, head cracking against it, more spots dancing across his vision at the disoriented pain.

“D-don’t… please… don’t…” he gasped out, shaking, suddenly surrounded by the dimness of the cargo hold, a hand gripping his wrist, pulling him through as he begged, pleaded, for him to let go, please, let go, digging in his heels, screaming as his father took the lid off one of the storage crates and threw him into it, slamming the top back down.

He pounded against the rough wood, but something heavy had been placed atop it. He shifted, laying down, kicking with all his might against the lid, barely even moving it a millimeter. Still, he kept pounding, clawing, kicking, until he was gasping, until he couldn’t anymore, until he was bruised and broken and his voice had given out from screaming, and the darkness was closing in, and there was no room, no space, no air, and it was hot and it was dark, and he was never getting let out of here, his father was going to forget he’d even put him in here, and he was going to die in this stupid wooden box, he was going to suffocate.

He squeezed his eyes shut, hands over his ears, rocking back and forth, the darkness was too much, there was nothing, nothing to keep his mind at bay, nothing to focus on except all of his fears, except everything his mind conjured, phantom touches, eyes, movement, whispers, telling him all the ways he could die here, all the worse things that could be happening, phantom pains flaring to light as he screamed again, pounding the lid, until his nails were ripped to shreds and his knuckles were bleeding, splinters stuck to his palms, heedless of his clothes tearing against the rough wood as he fought for a single breath of fresh air, sweating and suffocating.

“Let me out let me out let ME OUT!” He sobbed, and suddenly there was something warm around him, suddenly he felt movement, suddenly he was no longer stationary, feeling almost as if he were flying, except it wasn’t wind in his hair, quite, something else swaying, rocking him, a gentle humming slowly breaking through, and he gasped in a lungful of air, actual air, salty and cold and shocking, and it broke him out of his flashback with the force of a train collision as he sputtered and gasped and choked on his tears, clinging with all his might to Roman.

It was Roman, Roman was holding him. That’s who was singing softly, rocking him gently, he was cradled in Roman’s hand, and he gave in, slumping weakly as the fight instantly drained out of him, shaking as the adrenaline left him weak and trembling and vision blurred from tears and saltwater and exhaustion.

“hush little baby don’t say a word, mama’s gonna buy you a mocking bird…” he let Roman’s voice wash over him, bringing out half memories of his mother’s voice singing the same song, the same melody, rocking him to sleep.

“i’m sorry.” He whispered, feeling Roman’s eyes on him, warm and worried.

“It’s alright, baby boy, it’s perfectly fine, little firefish.” Roman murmured softly, a soothing, musical lilt still tinging his voice. He simply shook his head, breath hitching as he folded tighter against Roman.

“Virgil… did that really happen? Did… he really do that to you?” He was still shaking as he nodded.

“N-not o-often.”

“Even once is too often, little merrow. I should have killed him, I should have kept singing and let him drown.” Roman growled, tail fins flicking in anger.

“What? When did you… Roman, what happened? What… what happened to me?” Roman’s heart was breaking at how small he sounded, how small he was, and scared, and hurt, and yet this small, amazing half human trusted him with all his heart.

“it’s… a little complicated. But you know how Patton has his seal skin? How he can change back and forth?” Virgil nodded. “You’re like that, except instead of a seal, you’re a merperson. If you take off your sweater, you’ll change back.”

Virgil looked down at himself, noticing for the first time the faint purple tinge to his skin, shimmering faintly in the light. If he concentrated, he could feel something over his body, almost like a soft diving suit, and he could feel the zipper, though he couldn’t see it. Weird.

Then his gaze drifted downwards, and his eyes widened as he took in his long, graceful tail, the scales shimmering and sparkling in a mesmerizing pattern as minute shifts of the water caused the reflection to change. It was electric and deep and matched the color his hair and eyes had shifted to. Slowly, he reached out, running his hand down his tail, shivering at the odd feeling of scales against his palm, surprisingly… soft and warm, his fins a bit more rubbery, a lot thinner and more sensitive.

“holy shit…” he whispered, tracing the faint line where scales stopped and flesh began, half believing he must be dreaming, because holy hell, he was a merperson!?

“Besides the panic attack, how are you feeling?” Roman asked softly, and Virgil bit his lip, taking a moment to catalogue himself.

“F-fine. I… I was sick, right? I remember… I remember Patton, and Janus, then it all gets… hazy.” Roman nodded, eyes serious once again.

“You were. We… almost lost you, Virg, you gave us all a run for our money. If you’re feeling better, we can go back to Logan’s place, alright? He can explain this all better than I can. And on the way back, I can teach you how to properly maneuver that kicker of yours, so you stop flying into things. Once you get going, it should be pretty instinctual. Just let your body move and don’t overthink it.” Virgil smiled smally, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Overthinking is kinda what I do, princey.”

“There’s the attitude I was looking for. Shall we?” Roman asked, tilting his head towards the surface, feeling Virgil grip onto him just a bit tighter, and Roman suddenly realized the last time Virgil had been in the ocean, he’d thought he was going to die there. “hey. It’s ok, sea star. I won’t let anything down there hurt you.” Virgil took a deep breath, slipping out of his arms so he was bobbing up and down with the waves, though he still held onto Roman’s fingers, no doubt steeling himself.

“O-ok. I… I trust you, Ro.” And Roman’s heart melted even more at that small admission, sure he would destroy absolutely anything that even looked at Virgil the wrong way. Nothing was going to hurt this kid ever, ever again.

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she-toadmask · 4 years

Text

I’m kind of in a mood suddenly so below the cut there will be me just talking about fanfics I have read or am reading and why I like fanfic and stuff because I need to just

Fanfiction fucking rocks the basic part before all the stuff about it as the story just...it’s so easy to access and there’s so much and it’s just all there on the internet I don’t have to find a physical book

And on AO3 (where 90% of good currently-updating fic is afaik) there is TAGGING where you will know what you’re getting into (unless the author suddenly adds a sex scene and only then updates the tags but at least they give a warning at the start of the chapter but it doesn’t bother me as much as it did a couple years ago as long as I know it’s coming I know it’s a tool and it has its uses) with character drama and deaths and all that jazz not to mention how Ash being a badass has a specific tag and just other random things having tags that are important parts of the story

Like there are multiple fics I have found (not all of them are living fics sadly) of writing Ash’s journey in the beginning differently, like there was one I saw once that I kind of forgot to keep reading where he went to Sinnoh (and was still rivals with Paul and I think their ship tag was there?) and it said it was following game plot and then there’s one that I definitely don’t have open anymore because it didn’t update for some amount of time where he had a Joltik and then a Ferroseed and it’s really cool and a different one that’s still living and it’s called Pity of the World and Jesse + James (who is genderfluid in this fic) + Meowth are good people and stuff and just steal abused Pokemon and they run into Ash and they all end up being travel buddies and Ash understands Pokemon (not literally of course that’s not this fic) and also just knows what James’ gender is before they say anything and also in one chapter Zapdos is in Gringy City and says something about friendship being for mortals or something??? idk we’ll see and then there’s a different fic that I was reading and lost when switching devices and Ash was raised by Pokemon and literally can speak Pokemon and it was really neat but I haven’t tried to find where I left off because I’m too lazy for that tbh but it is still updating it’s Symbiosis or Symbiotic or something like that

Most things involving Ash that aren’t shippy or weird like that (ok there are some I’m not interested in but whapdfajaldjakjdf) end up being really cool because he’s a fucking legendary magnet which can either be played for laughs or deadly serious or just not be part of the fic if it isn’t relevant and so many fics use Aura it’s really cool (including Pity of the World I think he mega evolves Pidgeot (who evolves before leaving) when he fights Sabrina who does not have a doll in this fic) and there are different ways they do it and the thing I was mentioning about his connection with Pokemon like maybe it’s just a bit more than normal or it’s just yes he is everything and I kinda skipped out on gens 6 and 7 of the anime but I get enough to understand what they mean in chat fics and when referring to it in other fics it’s really cool

I think I mentioned Creepypasta and how there were two Harry Potter Creepypasta fics, one that was one and was slow to update if it wasn’t dead and one that was on the fourth one actually I was wrong about what number it was I think and updates every two weeks the first one is more lighthearted/written by a younger person like Slendy is a character and Harry x a lot of the ‘pastas I guess and it takes place starting before 4th year and the beginning is kinda meh with some weird dialogue and absurd levels of Dumbledore Ron and Hermione bashing but it does call out some of the other legitimate problems like how the lake trial in the tournament just kidnaps people which is very big because it was Ben who was kidnapped so big yikes there and honestly it’s not what you want to read if you want something really high-quality and serious like not that it doesn’t take itself seriously but it feels closer to something I would have read when I was in middle school than most of the Sanders Sides fics I read (just using that as comparison because the vast majority of that is well-written stuff). Then the other one!!!! For one it has a much more realistic/developed take on the Creepypastas’ existence like how the stories are how they exist with Slenderman being a cosmic horror being thing more than a character with character which is always really cool and Jeff kidnaps Harry as a baby (he is Boy when he is with the Creepypasta and Harry when at Hogwarts and there’s some really cool stuff about how they’re different) and, having lived with murderers, Harry gives zero fucks about things and kills Fluffy in the first book long before other stuff happens, Quirrel tries to use him to get the stone but gets annihilated at the mirror because family and then Voldemort is just a giant white snake for the rest of the series so far and also because he sucks Lockhart tries to exorcise Harry because Harry is fucking nuts and it’s great and also Harry is a Hufflepuff and there is probably more Gryffindor bashing than is necessary and pretty much all the adults get bashed for sucking (like in book 3 the boggart stuff is called out for being hella dangerous for them also Harry can’t cast the Patronus charm make of that what you will idk what) though Harry does make for quite the conversation topic among the teachers, Harry x Neville is the main ship and Neville eventually gets resorted into Hufflepuff because the Gryffindors are being massive dicks to him, also Harry flirts with Draco because Harry gives no fucks and it’s great (also both books give Luna lots of love, like the young one she’s a Seer like from Madame Macabre’s old webcomic that’s dead as it gets and the long one she’s just a good character and shit) and Harry makes these books to spread Slenderman’s legend throughout Britain/the Wizarding World and Draco may have gotten one and survived???? but now Neville has one during the summer months (and also through feeding Fanged Geraniums or whatever live stuff and blood instead of bonemeal he is creating Audrey II and straight-up says something about having to call it Harry Jr. but that’s probably just a little joke and isn’t going to stay beyond this but it’s just fun because Little Shop of Horrors slaps) and I have big fear about him doing the stuff and getting hurt and Harry/Boy conflict will be scary

There’s this other fic I found when trying to find good fics involving Ash and it’s kinda weird and seems to be written by a younger author but we’ll see where things go, like Harry got transported by Celebi to the world of Pokemon and Giovanni is Silver and Ash’s dad and they live with him and also Harry does too and he’s in a wheelchair and also is really smart and I wish we had gotten to spend a bit longer seeing their dynamics before when Harry is 14 the Goblet of Fire somehow spits his name out and Celebi helps with getting Harry (and also the other three because of course) safely there without dying because dimensional travel is hard and Celebi is friend and Luna gets to be important here too I think she’s shown up as a named student and guided them to a room and seems to know things about the castle and that’s kinda all there is so far there’s a bit more but it’s not got a lot yet I hope the author keeps going it’s a weird idea but I’m looking forward to seeing where it goes

Oh I forgot to talk about it but there’s this whump Ash fic that was being written under one title but it got dropped and now it’s being rewritten with the same concept but under a new title and going about a lot of things a different way it’s just the same starting premise and the fic is Helpless and Ash almost dies multiple times and there’s this theme of adults failing him and also Gary fucks a thing up and Ash needs support and therapy (a good number of fics have Ash needing therapy but given the shit he’s been through that is not surprising especially from my limited knowledge of Kalos holy shit Lysandre was doing some mad shit) and it’s just good but it is a lot of hospital and Ash being hurt and almost dying so be warned if that isn’t a safe read for you

The reason I don’t just outright block explicit anymore despite the horrors of trying to find safe Pokemon fic on AO3 amidst the consensual porn, incest porn, pokephilia porn, etc., is I randomly decided to try and find some Sonic fanfic on AO3 because a couple people on YouTube have been doing Sonic story stuff (Sonic What If has some good stuff that’s just... what-if scenarios and then there’s Sonic Rewritten which takes a game’s plot and then redoes it but good like the Deadly Six having personalities or Sonic 06 not having maybe bestiality or Generations being more than ‘oh past and present stages now have nostalgia’ and Robotnik and Eggman are significantly different people in that one and it’s really cool) and I thought maybe I would find some good stuff on AO3 (which I have but nothing that I want to ramble about specifically though there was one fic where Eggman does Tails clone and then his original body dies so he’s stuck looking like Tails and it’s kinda wild) and I found a fic that was marked explicit because torture and violence (honestly it wasn’t that bad) and I like it and don’t want to miss something that I might like by accidentally blocking it and now when I try to find Pokemon fic I have to see Leon x Hop and Pokemon x human smut.

There’s one Sanders Sides fic that I was reading and I don’t remember the name nor do I know if it’s updating I think I lost it but it started from the beginning of the series with the Dark Sides being a platonic poly family and when they weren’t in the episode they were talking about it/the Light Sides and it’s honestly really really good and the author just decided to have Deceit’s name be Janus and it was amazing when it turned out that was his real name it was just great but IDK if the fic has been abandoned, I think I lost it in the shift, but it was really good (but sympathetic dark sides and unsympathetic patton and roman and logan for a bit so do be warned if those aren’t comfortable for you)

Oh yeah I remembered another fic I can talk about there was this one Creepypasta fic and it’s completed and it is a Jeff x Reader but it kind of just stops being about the romance after a certain point and just goes way off the rails. It starts like ‘oh this will be a normal x reader with mansion and Slendy is dad and Zalgo is probably evil’ and then NOPE SLENDERMAN HAS BEEN RAISING FAMILIES THAT LOVE HIM TO TURN THEM INTO CRYSTALS TO MAKE HIM MORE POWERFUL AND ZALGO IS AGAINST THAT and it just is great like I never see Zalgo being good, like Slenderman being evil or whatever is plenty common (especially in the innumerable ARG fics I don’t read because I don’t have the attention span to learn what the fuck the source is) but never in tandem with Zalgo being anything but chaotic evil n shit it’s wild and it’s great and also Slenderman’s parents have faces I guess idk that was weird also there is one smut chapter but like the author said you can skip the smut and I did and didn’t feel like I missed any plot stuff so if that’s a no for you just keep an eye out for the author’s warning. It is by a younger writer, as demonstrated by its daily updates while it was being written, tiny chapters, and some general writing style stuff common to younger writers, but honestly I just love it for being something so wildly different, under the guise of a typical x Reader fic.

Speaking of ship stuff and Creepypasta the trilogy of Sans x Creepypasta fics are amazing. The writer definitely improves over time, the beginning of the first book kind of has the weird ‘then I knew I was in love’ stuff from a couple of the pastas (then again I’m ace and demiro so starting romance is just generally weird) but it is just a really good series. Sans ends up with seven kids in the third book and, while everyone else in the Undertale cast is bashed in the first two, Papyrus does seem to get some redemption in the third, so there is that. Also Murderer Sans is a fantastic tag, Gaster made a deal with Zalgo to create the skelebros and Sans is more demon than Papyrus by a lot and Zalgo is trying to kidnap Sans and Sans’ children so he has his family together to destroy the world and wander free and it’s wild and also Chara and Flowey show up and also LJ being an angel is mentioned and relevant to the plot for a bit so that’s neat and I don’t know all the details of how it ends because I lost it when I shifted and didn’t want to find where I was but it’s a great fic (albeit with a few things I can argue on) and the author has also been writing other Sans x Creepypasta stuff but I haven’t read it because idk

I really wish I had a good Minecraft fanfic to gush about but I really don’t it’s hard to find Minecraft fic that isn’t tuber-based, either Dream and friends (which occasionally I find a good one but so much is either Dream SMP which I have no interest in getting into, involves people I don’t know from Dream SMP, or just is shippy or straight-up doesn’t have a premise I’m interested in) or Hermitcraft (I fell behind so I have no idea what’s happening anymore) (but also like Mianite and Aphmau stuff but not as much as used to, but now Dream rules all so), and it just sucks. Like if some of it was Team Crafted fic I would be on board like hell yeah give me that nostalgia juice but it’s so much shit I just don’t know. I love the idea of Minecraft fanfic because there are so many options for the world and you can either make your own characters and you probably have to but then there’s just if you use Steve Alex Herobrine or Notch how they are written depends on the author and I live for that shit it’s a big part of why I read Creepypasta fic it’s because I like when there are different ways characters can be done (not unsympathetic or sympathetic like Patton so much like straight-up different characters) like Herobrine and Notch are the big ones like good vs evil, involved vs not, serious vs comedic, there are so many different ways to play them and I’m so disappointed AO3 doesn’t have much of it and so much of it is just Dream stuff and it usually just isn’t what I’m after in a fic.

The only other fics coming to mind right now are two wildly different fics involving Springtrap x Reader, one of them is being transferred from Wattpad for copy reasons, complete with tiny-ass chapters and that language that’s just so middle-school in the best way possible (like William and Springtrap are different consciousnesses and they way the author describes their struggle at one point is just so similar to a stupid thing I did and I have so much affection for it) and the other is legitimately really really good and the reader-insert has recently found out that Springtrap is William Afton and has murdered many children and they are currently dying multiple times to help his victims pass on because they can see ghosts and it’s actually really good and I have no idea where things are going, reader has currently met up with Michael Afton, currently all purple and dead and stuff, and has learned about remnant (weird-ass shit from modern FNAF lore) and it’s getting wild. I feel like there are two types of FNAF fic, ones in the style of FNAF 3/4 and earlier and ones from maybe 4 onward. Like ones where the lore was basically ‘bad man committed murder against children and they’re possessing the animatronics and that’s why they’re trying to kill you’ and then 4 starts having some more expansive lore ish and then after that it just goes everywhere with remnant and scooping and even more locations and also the books matter probably??? There is this one fic involving Glitchtrap that hasn’t updated in a bit and it’s fun, I like the idea of Glitchtrap and really wish I could read more fic just centered around FNAF VR. Then again, BEN was always one of my favorites and after I stopped being absolutely terrified of Herobrine I really liked his possibilities, maybe I just like the story utility and possible execution of characters with wide-ranging powers over technology and affecting the real world outside of it, IDK.

Ok I’m out of ramble energy, and also topics unless I go more in-depth about specific character options, but my energy is gone so I think that’s the end of it. I typed 3,000 words about fanfictions I’m reading and probably could have talked more about some of them if I wanted. This is my new hyperfixation. I guess. At least I know I have one, it’s reassuring to know for some reason, like for a while I missed how much Pokemon was my life in elementary school and Minecraft was in sixth grade, like it was nice just having something to focus on, though maybe that’s just the college and depression talking.

That was good, I’m glad I did that. Y’all are loved.

If you seriously read this entire thing... Wow. I really appreciate you digitally listening to me talking about random fanfic shit that I like. You’re really really cool.

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