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samiwok · 4 years

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MAY WE MEET AGAIN

li’s notes : soooo this is the end of this story 🥺 it was far from amazing but I truly hope you guys enjoyed reading it as much as I did enjoy writing it. This end was the perfect one for me to close this Oikawa — exes to lovers SMAU and I’m glad I had this idea. Thanks for the support babies it helped me a lot ! Now imma focus on my other smaus. Thank you again, I love you all <33

part 20 | may we meet again

“SHIIIIRATORIZAWA ! SHIIIIIIIIIIRATORIZAWA !” People were screaming on the gym. You looked at your right to find an Oikawa visibly shaken by the moment. Still sitting on the bench, his eyebrows were raised, mouth open and his eyes wide, empty looking at the floor.

Iwaizumi greeted Ushijima as the co-captain and quickly joined the coach and you. When he saw Oikawa not moving, obviously sad he only seized his friend‘s shoulder, taking back his own tears to comfort his captain.

“It wasn’t enough this time but we gave everything. I think I’m talking in the name of Oikawa when I’m telling you guys did amazing out here. Kindaichi, Kunimi, Watari, Shigeru, and you too Kyotani..just give all you got next year” he said, making his teammates cry. Deception, sadness, but mostly guilt. That’s what Oikawa was feeling.

You knew he was mad. And you didn’t know how to talk to him now. Was he going to break-up with you? Was he going to leave you again ? Fear making your stomach hurt so bad.

After Iwaizumi speech, the team left but Kunimi passed his arm around your shoulders “it’s okay Yn, go talk to him” He smiled to reassure you, knowing how you were feeling, before leaving you.

After a few long minutes searching for him, you saw his back. He was standing in the corridor, looking by the window alone, hands in his pockets. You weren’t able to see his face, yet you knew.

“Tooru I’m so sorry...”

“Does it change a single thing tho ?” He answered coldly, before turning to face you, his eyes were red and swollen, due to all the tears he cried.

You looked down at your feet, feeling guilty, but mostly sad not to be able to know what to say to comfort him. You just knew he was pissed off. Yet, he came closer to you, taking you into his arms, your head pressed on his chest. You could hear his slow heartbeat, calming you.

“I’m not mad at you Yn.”

You cried. Letting all your feelings go. Fear, frustration, guilt, sadness, anger, disgust. Letting all go. And his hand caressing your back was all you needed at this very moment, that and his comforting words.

“Don’t cry babe, it’s all okay. I know you’re disappointed too. I know it became important to you. I know you wanted us to win and I won’t be egoist like I was years ago.”

“What ?” You said

You took a step back looking at him. Oikawa never really apologized about what happened; actually he never talked about it ever again and you almost thought he forgot about it.

“I used to be stupid back then, I broke up with you for no reason. All these years, all these girls, all these training sessions, matches, confrontations with Ushiwaka. Busy and surrounded all the time, yet so empty. That’s what I felt without you all these years.”

“Tooru what are you saying ?”

He wrapped his hands around your head, looking into your crying eyes, a serious gaze, a soft smile as he pronounced these words: the words you didn’t even know you needed to hear.

“I apologize Yn. I apologize for breaking up with you when I knew I needed you so bad. I apologize for leaving you alone. I apologize for daring to ask you to keep a secret that could have ruined my health and making you feel guilty for not telling the coach.”

He took a deep breath.

“I’m leaving Japan.”

“What ?” You shouted “Tooru is it a mental breakdown again ? What are you saying ?”

He laughed hearing your words. A sweet laugh. Oikawa Tooru just lost his very last match in High school, the most important match of his life. Oikawa Tooru could feel guilty, angry, sad about it yet all he could think about was how much he would miss you now.

“I’ll play volleyball in another country”

You felt tears stuck in your throat, and your voice was shaking as you asked the question. You feared the answer, staring at him, frowning and worried.

“So you’re leaving me again because of volleyball..we’re over ? Then why all these words, why trying to get me back ? I don’t understand”

He caressed your cheek with his soft fingers, his chocolate eyes drowning into yours. “I’m not leaving you babe, I’ll wait for you, I’ll come to see you everytime I can. I’ll call you everyday or night if I have to. You’re mine and I’m yours, always remember that because not a single thing will change the fact I’m in love with the girl standing in front of me, who is called Yn”

After that, you spent a lot of time together, every day, every night. Having sex during all the summer, going out together, hanging with Makki and Mattsun, with Iwaizumi and with your three friends. He introduced you to his family, you introduced him to yours. Time passed and soon, it was time to say goodbye.

— — — — — — ۵ — — — — — —

“Don’t.”

“Don’t what ? Leave ? My baby’s gonna miss me and she‘s begging for me to stay ? How cute” he teased you and you laughed to his stupidity. The moment was supposed to be sad, you heart seemed so heavy, yet you weren’t sad at all.

“Oh you wish. No I’m glad you’ll finally be away from me and not in my sheets”

He came closer to your face, his mouth whispering against yours “you prefer when I’m between your legs right ?” He said before biting your bottom lip

“Shut the fuck up.” You hit his chest softly before sighing. “Anyways... don’t you dare saying dramatic goodbyes” your eyes were threatening and he smiled to you.

“What can I say then ? May we meet again ?”

“As if you were going to survive without calling me three times a day” you pinched his chin, taking him closer to you to press your lips against his. His arms around your waist, holding you into his big, comforting, reassuring arms. He kissed your head, talking really calmly against your ear, you could even feel his warm breath.

“I love you Ln/Yn. I always loved you and will always love you”

He took a step back, his hand was still holding yours and his eyes were staring at your intertwined fingers quietly. “May we meet again, Yn”

“May we meet again, Tooru”

— 𝑻𝒘𝒐 𝒚𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒔 𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒓

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langblrwhy · 4 years

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New Year's Goals

May

1 Go out every week (risking for lockdown reasons)

2 Try 2 new foods every month (food, beverage, recipe)

Vegan yogurt (banana + avocado + cocoa powder -> blend everything = tasty and vegan)

Candied Orange Peel

Canjica (delicious)

3 Be fluent in esperanto

I'm quickly improving!

Mi kutimas retvoki kun miaj amikoj, mi babilis per mesaĝoj kun aliaj amikoj, mi verkis kaj mi spektis filmetojn en jutubo.

4 Practice having conversations via audio and video

Totally doing every other day.

5 Write a 10k fiction in french and publish it on Wattpad

I didn't.

6 Try to study russian again and focus on the basic

I didn't.

7 Watch a movie every week

1. The Exterminating Angel (Mexico, 1962) (my favorite one)

2. The Starfish (France, 1928)

3. Fantastic Planet (France, Czechoslovakia, 1973)

4. Sergio (USA, 2020)

Series I also watched:

1 Never Have I Ever (USA, 2020)

2 The L Word: Generation Q (USA, 2019)

3 La Usurpadora (Mexico, 2019) (just half)

8 Read 5 books

I finished (the first one this year) Misery (Stephen King) and started a livro de contos called Morangos mofados, by the brazilian writer Caio Fernando Abreu.

9 Finalize 1 art every month (it doesn’t have to be good, just finished)

I've been doing great here, doing a lot of sketches and finalizing many arts! It's almost on my routine to start and finish the said art.

10 Go for a walking every week While the quarantine lasts, I’ll adapt this topic for “doing some exercise every week”

None.

11 Try to make listening podcasts an habit

I've been listen to them while I do some art, it's almost in my routine now, that's exactly what I wanted.

12 Learn toki pona

Studying a little bit.

13 Write a fiction in esperanto

Writing a bit.

14 Try 1 new thing per month

I decided and started to paint surrealistic stuff (1), so I started to interpretate my dreams (by Freud and Jung theories) (2). Also I tested Cloth menstrual pads (3) and they are great, easy and comfy, I totally recommend!

15 Interact on virtual groups (telegram, tumblr, whatever)

I've been interacting on discord, actually I need to put more effort here.

16 Be more proactice and publish my stuff somewhere online (draw, fiction, whatever)

I used to post my art on my instagram sometimes.....

17 Finish all duolingo tasks by the end of the year

I'm on 98 day streak and doing well (next goal: 125 day streak).

I need to finished the whole tree to level 2, 3, 4 and then 5.

And finish in 1st the diamond league (but I probably gave up because it's too much effort for something useless)

18 Sketch every week

Skething every other day, practing new stuff, etc.

18 Study spanish, focusing on write, listen and speak

I've been watching many hispanohablantes at youtube, I understand pretty well. I started watching the remake of La Usurpadora with spanish audio and subtitles and understand almost everything (but I still didn't practice writing and speaking :c )

19 Study french, focusing on write, listen and speak

I didn't.

20 Study whatever theories (such as astronomy, lingustics, ecology, whatever)

I started to study Psychoanalysis with online classes!

15,5/20 = 77,5%

And since I decided to change my degree (I want to switch Geography to Graphic Design), I'll need to do another vestibular exam (aka, another big test on the end of the year with questions about all topics I studied in the last 3 years of school), so I created another topic:

21 Study for vestibular (mathematics, physics, geography, philosophy, sociology, biology, chemistry, history, english, portuguese, brazilian literature)

I already started, but I need more focus.

#goals #glow up #self improvement #new years goals #mine

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