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yerimbrit · 1 month

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something new : n. kazuha

synopsis: the five times your confession to kazuha was interrupted, and the one time it wasn't

# : pairing ! nonidol!nakamura kazuha x gn!reader

# : tags ! friends to lovers, ao3 5+1 trope, but there's some interludes, zuha's JUSTTT a little dense, the fimmies are your wingwomen, so is giselle and ningning from aespa, hs!au, crack, mentions of karina and winter too, in the end they are just two lovesick fools

# : wordcount ! 8.4k

# : warnings ! the usual swearing idt i'll be putting warnings for them anym

"just tell her you like her," chaewon said, taking a bite of her salad, "i don't understand why you haven't."

you groaned in response. obviously chaewon didn't understand that what she was suggesting was exactly what you'd been trying to do since the beginning of time. emphasis on trying.

it wasn't your fault that kazuha was absolutely, terribly, agonizingly oblivious to your confessions to her—or at least your attempts to confess to her.

a sympathetic hand patted you on the shoulder, and you looked up to see sakura, who placed her tray on the cafeteria table. "attempts have been made, chae. that's exactly why they're complaining for the, i don't know, 100th time."

chaewon kicked sakura's foot under the table.

"whatcha guys talking about?" asked eunchae, who had just taken her seat next to you at the table. you only buried your face into your arms.

"y/n's just mad that kazuha can't take a hint," snickered chaewon.

sakura nodded, tapping your cheek so she could feed you a spoonful of rice. "kazuha's really dense."

"sometimes i can't tell if she's joking or not whenever i try."

you thought back to the last few times you confessed, shuddering. the most recent one was equally as bad as the previous ones. it was like everything never went your way at the worst times.

("kazuha, i like you," you said, holding both of the girl's hands in yours, looking into her eyes with your tired, but determined eyes.

her eyes widened, and you thought maybe, just maybe, she finally understood what you were saying. at this point, you didn't even care if she rejected you. despite the heartache it would bring you, at least she would know about your feelings.

"i like you too!" she said excitedly, and you perked up in disbelief. wow, today really was your lucky da—

she brought you into a tight hug. and the worst possible words she could've said, were said: "you're my best friend! i like you a lot!")

the bell rang after that, so you couldn't explain to her that you liked her as more than that, because the two of you were at the entrance of the gym, and kazuha's next class was on the third floor of the main building.

eunchae hummed thoughtfully, finger on her lip. then, she gasped, enlightened.

"i have an idea."

she ushered the three of you closer, all of you leaning forward to huddle in the middle of the table. you would've laughed how ridiculous you looked, but what eunchae whispered to the group was even more ridiculous.

"that's not going to work," you refused, adamantly shaking your head.

chaewon, sakura, and eunchae shared a knowing look.

"it doesn't hurt to try, y/nnie," laughed chaewon.

eunchae chimed in, "exactly! what if it does work?"

you furrowed your eyebrows, not liking what the girls were up to. "but—"

"let's try it, y/n." sakura smiled, looking at you with deadpan eyes. you knew those eyes. and those eyes meant that you weren't getting out of this situation. deflating, you lowered your head.

"okay."

1. eunchae's idea: fall into her arms and confess (like in a romcom!) (romcoms are romcoms for a reason, eunchae.) (shut up!)

"please work, please work, please work," you chanted to yourself, tightly shutting your eyes and waiting for "the signal" from eunchae and chaewon. what the signal was, you didn't know. but you trusted your friends... maybe.

the sound of yunjin's boisterous laughter, and kazuha's quieter giggles echoed through the school hallway filled with hundreds of lockers, and you peeked from behind the corner to get a glimpse of the two. your eyes fearfully darted around in search of eunchae, because this was her idea, only to be pushed from behind by someone into the hallway that your incoming target was walking through.

"y/n! look out!" shouted eunchae, and you grimaced. 'that was their cue?'

then, you yelped, tripping over your own feet, because silly old you forgot to tie your own shoelaces. scrunching up your face, you prepared yourself for the inevitable faceplant you were about to do, and the next failure in your endeavor to tell kazuha your feelings.

"woah! are you okay, y/n?" a worried voice called. wait. that wasn't the cold hard floor you thought you were going to embrace.

'kazuha?' you thought, until you opened your eyes and saw a few long strands of dyed orange hair, following them up to the frowning face of huh yunjin, kazuha's best friend. but not kazuha.

squirming out of yunjin's secure grip, you widened your eyes, panicking. your gaze switched between the two volleyball players frantically. they both stared at you with a concerned look.

"i'm sorry!" you exclaimed, bowing so low you could see sakura's shocked face just behind you in the hall, then turning around and dashing to drag sakura with you anywhere but where you just embarrassed yourself.

kazuha called after you, hands cupped around her mouth, but you were already long gone.

"what was that about?" yunjin asked, looking to the japanese girl next to her for an answer. kazuha shrugged and sighed.

"wish i knew."

"what the hell, eunchae, you said it would work!" you complained into your pillow. said girl was using your back to hold up her phone, which was playing an episode of single's inferno. chaewon sat next to her, more invested in the show than whatever you had going on.

the youngest pouted, jabbing her finger into your shoulder, earning her a grunt and a slap on the knee from you.

"well it would've worked if yunjin-unnie wasn't there," she whined in defense. she was right, but you didn't want to admit that, for the sake of your pride.

chaewon giggled. "it was pretty funny, though. at least you didn't hurt yourself."

your head, which was previously buried in your pillow, whipped around to shoot a menacing glare at the two chaes, lifting your hand to point an accusing finger at both of them.

"speaking of which, where were you guys?! i swear you ran off as soon as you yelled at me to watch out," you said, dropping your arm back onto your bed. eunchae and chaewon glanced at each other, then turned back to you, obnoxiously shrugging their shoulders in sync.

before you could get up and tackle your friends in a much-deserved tickle session, the door to your room creaked open, revealing sakura, and behind her, yunjin.

"why is it always you three? behave," sakura scolded, disappointment evident in her tone.

"sorry, sakura-unnie." "sorry, kkura-unnie..."

chaewon lightly slapped your back.

"ow!" you groaned, rubbing the affected area. she gave you a look, and you hesitantly turned around to look at the eldest girl.

"sorry, kkura-unnie."

sakura sighed, shaking her head. she set her book bag down by the foot of your desk, taking a seat on your swivel chair. yunjin sat on your fluffy rug, leaning her back against the bedframe.

you and yunjin were friends. she'd been over before, with kazuha, and would often join you and your friend group's movie nights. her open-minded personality allowed your conversations to jump topics, making every exchange interesting. although you weren't as close to her as kazuha was, you knew you could always come to her for advice, next to sakura.

yunjin and kazuha were both on the volleyball team. that's how the two of them met: during varsity tryouts, both of them called to receive the spike hit by yujin, a fellow freshman. in that short moment in between, neither of them moved to bump the ball, so it ended up bouncing on the court, resulting in a point scored by yujin. kazuha treated yunjin to an ice cream after practice as an apology, and the two of them hit it off.

aside from the volleyball-campfire-tryout fiasco with kazuha, yunjin was also close with chaewon, sharing multiple classes with her. the two usually gossiped over the recent transfer students, something mr. park did again, or how yet another girl fell victim to star basketball player lee heeseung and his playboy charms.

with eunchae, yunjin treated her as if she were her little sister. from babying her (to which eunchae grumbled about, saying that she was "grown now", but you all knew she secretly adored the older girl) to taking her out on spontaneous hangouts to give her a refreshing experience of the outside world. her and sakura bonded over it, taking care of the youngest together.

you cleared your throat, sitting up and pulling your knees close to your chest. "so, why is yunjin here?"

as you sat up, eunchae's phone fell off your back, and the two watchers both frowned. single's inferno could wait.

"because we forgot to tell her about the plan," sakura said in a matter-of-fact tone.

you cursed in your head. maybe if she was let in on the plan, you would've succeeded, and you wouldn't have to try to confess again.

"speaking of plans," chaewon raised her hand, imitating a student about to ask a question. you snorted, and pointed at her, allowing her to speak again.

she nodded at you, a grin spreading on her face. "it's raining in two days, on friday. zuha usually walks with you after school every other day, right y/n?"

you nodded slowly, making a 'hurry-up' gesture with your hand. she rolled her eyes.

"since she's walking with you, why don't you go ahead and share an umbrella? that could be the perfect opportunity for you to tell her."

("hold on, she's cooking."

"stop learning from yunjin, please eunchae."

"what do i have to do with this!?")

"you know what. that doesn't sound that bad, coming from you," you said, not caring that you just casually threw some shade at chaewon.

"hey, what's that supposed to mean!"

2. chaewon's idea: share an umbrella under the showers of afternoon spring rain

"it's raining," kazuha pouted, holding her hand out to feel the rain landing on her fingers.

you gulped. this was it.

"y-yeah, it is," you nervously giggled, wiping your sweaty palms on your pants.

the girl beside you hummed, and glanced at you. "should we wait for it to stop?"

hearing her words, you fumbled around for the umbrella in your schoolbag. "it's, it's okay. i have an umbrella," you held the object up to her once you finally found it, "see?"

"oh," she simply nodded, stretching her hand out for you to give to her.

the two of you started walking into the onslaught of rain. kazuha's shoulder started getting wet, and you hurriedly grabbed her arm and pulled her closer to you.

"you'll get sick, dummy," you nagged, a pout on your face. she pinched your cheek and smiled, not making a move to pull away from your hold. butterflies swarmed your stomach.

"it's okay! as long as you stay dry."

damn this girl. why did you have to fall for someone who's so dense? after all these years of trying (and failing) to get your crush to acknowledge your romantic feelings toward her, she still didn't get it?

under your umbrella, the two of you were closer than ever. today was the first day of spring, though instead of warm sunshine, there was the pouring rain. winter felt like it had yet to say goodbye.

the cold air blew at your legs as kazuha maneuvered you around deep puddles on the paved sidewalk, careful not to have you step in one knowing you hated having wet socks.

when you realized what she was doing you flushed, heart accelerating at unnatural speeds, and you suddenly forgot how to breathe when you thought about confessing. the sensation came every time you confessed, but for some reason, this time it was ten times worse.

'okay, focus.' you tried to calm your breathing, taking deep breaths and squeezing kazuha's arm tighter.

the girl turned to you with a questioning look. "something wrong?"

you quickly shook your head and directed your gaze to the ground. you didn't know why you were struggling so much today. maybe it was the pouring rain, or maybe it was the fact you were so close together. maybe it was how she always earnestly took your interests to heart, or maybe...

suddenly, a rushing car zoomed past both of you, speeding over a large puddle. before you could even blink, kazuha switched her umbrella to the other hand, and pulled you into the safer side of the sidewalk, bracing herself for the impact of the puddle water soaking her jacket and uniform.

your heart stopped when she moved you, not processing what was happening. all you knew was that kazuha unexpectedly grabbed you and yanked you away, and now she was soaking wet.

you stammered, "are- are you okay?! wha... you're soaked! why'd you do that?"

the girl took a moment to catch her breath, slightly hunching over while still covering your head with the umbrella. your heart ached. ever so caring, kazuha was. even after she got drenched with rainwater (you cursed the car in your head), she was still making an effort to protect you from the rain.

kazuha gulped, her throat bobbing up and down. then, she stood up straight and looked at you, concern pooling in her eyes.

"are you okay? you're not hurt, are you?" she asked, trying to find any discomfort you could've showed.

you furrowed your eyebrows. was she being serious? she got splashed with water, to... to protect you! and now her favorite zip-up hoodie was ruined, and her uniform skirt was still dripping, and, you shuddered, her shoes and socks were wet. all because she wanted to keep you safe and dry.

you almost cried right then and there. how could you not like her?

"i'm okay. don't worry about me... but now you're all wet," you pointed out, "you can change at my house, i think you still have some clothes in my closet."

she hummed, face melting into a closed-eye smile, making you want to cup her cheeks and just kiss her like you'd always wanted.

you resume walking, your arm automatically looping with hers again, even though she told you that you would also get wet. the two of you fell back into a rhythm of avoiding puddles and making small talk in between. you almost forgot you were going to confess.

you looked around your surroundings, playing with your phone charm inside your jacket pocket. it was always something you did when you were nervous, to fidget with something. the dangly charm you bought with your friends on your class trip to jeju island was the more recent addition to the list.

"um, zuha?" you hesitantly started, "i actually do have something on my mind."

the japanese girl widened her eyes and nodded. "what's up, you feeling okay?"

her caring nature made it harder for you to confess. and now things you thought during the first few confessions were cycling through your mind again. what if she didn't like you like you did? what if you stopped being friends? would she be disgusted?

you swallowed the anxiety down, and took a few deep breaths for extra measure. "for a long time now, i-"

"ha! how you like that! you-" kazuha's ringtone went off, interrupting your (almost) confession. she frowned and put it on silent, then glancing back at you so you could finish what you were saying. more anxiety bubbled up.

"i-"

"ha! ho-"

groaning, she flashed you an apologetic smile and pressed the accept button on her phone. you stood there awkwardly and defeatedly, choosing to pass the time by looking around your surroundings. it took you a few moments to realize that you were already standing at the driveway of your own house.

when did that happen?

"seriously? ah, come on. i've already walked," kazuha grumbled to the person on the other side of the line. you'd already let go of her arm when she answered the call, unaware of your crush's disappointed eyes at your actions.

"okay, fine. why didn't anyone tell me?" she irritatedly asked. "no i didn't get the email, yujin, you know i barely check it."

after a few more lines exchanged between kazuha and the other person, (who you knew now was yujin) the japanese girl hung up with a tired sigh.

"y/n, i'm sorry, i can't stay this time. coach kang moved tomorrow's weekend scrimmage to today because she's visiting her dad tomorrow."

you could only sink your shoulders in dismay. "ah..."

there goes your confession. again.

"you should take the umbrella with you though. we're already here," you gestured to your doorway, "at my house."

kazuha pursed her lips and nodded.

"let me at least walk you to the door."

"okay."

this time, you didn't make an effort to keep kazuha out of the rain, feeling sullen. not that she minded, it allowed her to fully cover your head instead.

instead of waving you goodbye like she always did, kazuha brought you into an abrupt hug. "...bye, y/n," she mumbled into your hair, and left a fleeting kiss on your forehead.

then, she took off, leaving you dumbfounded and alone in the doorway of your home.

"okay, what the actual fuck," you said to your tablet, your friends on facetime.

sakura, who was in a heated match of overwatch, hummed disapprovingly as she clicked and mashed her keyboard furiously. "stop swearing in front of eunchae."

"sorry, mom."

"what happened, though? you've been repeating the same thing for the past 10 minutes," said chaewon, "did my plan work?"

eunchae nodded, the hair roller she was using on her bangs shaking with the movement. "yeah, did it? i can't tell if your reaction is positive or not."

you took a deep breath as you massaged your temples. "i don't know. on one hand, i couldn't confess because we got interrupted again, on the other hand..." you paused.

"what? tell us," urged sakura. it looked like she finished her game. she must've won, judging by the contented smile she had on her face, and the chirpy tone her voice held that you could hear through the crackly audio of your ipad.

"we were in front of my house, she hugged me and kissed me on the forehead. i don't know if this is a sign or not," you sighed.

"it's a sign," yunjin confidently said. it was her first time speaking in the call, despite it being almost 20 minutes since you impulsively facetimed the groupchat.

she rested her white mechanical pencil behind her ear and grinned. then, she went back to typing away at her laptop, not elaborating on her cryptic answer.

"what does that mean, yunjin-unnie?" the youngest asked, to no avail. the volleyball player had muted herself and started to scribble something down while scrolling on her computer.

you clicked your tongue. this behavior was unusual for yunjin; she was usually the most talkative, but today she kept to herself. she seemed to be deep in thought.

"um, okay," you coughed, "kkura-unnie, you said you had a plan right?"

she smiled, stretching out her arms. (you swore you heard a few cracks) "sure i do. i think it'll be fun."

"that's what eunchae and chaewon said, but look where we are now."

"just trust me, y/n."

3. sakura's idea: take a pottery class together (and have a heartfelt conversation as you shape clay) ("i don't have-") ("you make me pay all the time, obviously i'm paying for the class.") ("...")

you know what, maybe this will work out. sakura's idea was pretty sound, romantic, and wasn't something you usually did with kazuha.

it was saturday. the class was booked for 12 pm. you got up at around 9:30, got ready, and were now killing time in your room as you waited for kazuha to arrive.

today you were wearing an outfit that you had put out last night, after hours of deciding with the help of yunjin and sakura. (it was really just something you found from pinterest that you tried to replicate with the clothes in your closet) but combined with it was this silver star necklace that the girl of your affections gifted you for your birthday.

you only took it out on special occasions, terrified you were going to lose it or break it if you wore it too often. usually, you kept it in its box on your nightstand, sometimes taking it out to admire or while thinking of kazuha.

...maybe that was tmi.

pacing around your room, you bit your nail as you awaited a text from your date friend. kazuha was going to pick you up for a quick brunch before you set off for the pottery studio located in the central city area. for brunch, you were going to a café you frequented that some of your friends worked at. (minjeong and jimin usually gave you discounts that you and your light wallet thanked them for. they also tried to help you with your crush, but those attempts were something to talk about another day.)

"ding!" your phone beeped. you rushed over to your phone at the speed of light, only to see it was a notification from sakura detailing your booking information.

groaning, you unceremoniously fell onto your bed. it was still early, only about 10:30, and the meeting time was 11, but kazuha would always be early, insisting that she should pick you up from your home because that was the "least she could do." such a gentlewoman, she was.

your phone beeped again, and you were about to set it to 'do not disturb' in the midst of your moping, until you turned the device over to see that kazuha was the one texting.

from: zuha 🦢💙 im at your door :]

yelping, you scrambled for your bag and made sure you looked presentable as you dashed to your apartment door. before you opened it, you checked yourself for the second time on your phone camera for anything that could possibly harm kazuha's image of you.

and there she was, in all her glory. wearing a cropped shirt with a white and black flannel on top, combined with gray canvas pants held up by a black grommet belt. it seemed to compliment your outfit, in a way. 'maybe yunjin helped her with her outfit, too,' you surmised, shaking your head at the thought.

"hey!" she greeted, shyly waving her hand. you'd been through this process countless times, but you both always acted like it was the first time.

"hey," you mirrored, stepping out of your home and locking the door behind you. your hand gravitated toward kazuha's, the action not going unnoticed by the girl, and she took the initiative and interlocked your fingers together. you coughed into your other fist in an attempt to cover your blushing face.

you made your way out of the apartment complex, to the parking lot. the japanese girl led you to a pristine white convertible, opening the passenger's side for you and jogging over to get in the driver's seat. your hands had to part briefly, but once she sat down, her hand found yours again.

pushing the the start button, kazuha put her seatbelt on and grinned at you, revving the engine a few times. you laughed, shaking your head when she made a satisfied face while nodding her head.

"dad let me borrow for today. said he was counting on me and to treat you right," she recounted, "so hopefully i'm doing something right."

"you are, don't worry," you answered, but really what you wanted to say was, 'you always do, without even trying. making me feel like the luckiest person alive with just a laugh. just a smile.'

and off you went downtown. kazuha handed you the aux cord, and you sang along to some of your favorite tunes on the way there. eventually, you made it to the café, sliding in the small designated parking area. kazuha went around and opened the door for you, again, and you walked through the entrance.

minjeong was at the counter, no jimin in sight, but she offered you a teasing smile at the sight of you and kazuha together.

"welcome! will both of you be having the usual?" she asked, resting her hands on the counter.

your date(?) turned to you, and you nodded. "yeah, just the usual," she replied to minjeong, then adding, "we'll also have two... egg drop sandwiches."

minjeong entered your orders in the system, kazuha paid, and the familiar barista handed you your receipt. before you left to secure a table, she gave you a look that screamed "you have to tell me all about it later." you timidly smiled back.

the two of you sat in your usual spot, a table for two in a quiet corner next to the window facing the bustling streets of downtown seoul. it was where you had your study sessions and hangouts with kazuha, and close enough to occasionally talk to jimin and minjeong during their breaks.

speaking of jimin, you were wondering where she was. her and minjeong were usually on the same shift. you'll ask later, when your orders came.

for now, you observed the girl sitting across from you, who had started folding the receipt into an origami crane. she was very focused, tongue slightly sticking out as she meticulously folded the thin paper. she always did this, making cranes out of your receipt from the café. and she always left the finished product on the table, for the employees to add to the stack of cranes hanging on the selfie wall that she had made on previous visits.

once she was done, she placed it in the middle of the table, giving it a few taps to the top of its head with her finger. her eyes met yours, and you flinched, being caught staring.

"how's your morning, so far?" she asked with a dopey grin, arms now resting on the polished surface of the table. it took you a couple of seconds to process her words, eyes still tracking her movements.

"it's been," you coughed, reminded of the inner turmoil you had just an hour ago, "fine, better since you came, zuha."

nice going, you! yunjin would've been proud of that one. you'd say eunchae and chaewon too, since they're always watching those k-dramas that you get roped into, but yunjin always managed to say those cheesy pickup lines with a straight face... at least for a few seconds.

but it seemed to have worked because the girl across from you had a light blush on her face. she played with a few strands of her hair, her smile growing by the second.

"that was smooth," she remarked, letting her hand linger on top of yours for a few moments. now, it was your turn to blush. was she trying to kill you!?

time passed and your drinks and food came, you and her making small talk as you enjoyed your sandwiches. nothing really interesting happened, the brunch went on as usual, with kazuha stealing a bite of your sandwich (even though she had the exact same thing, saying it tasted better because it was yours) and you taking selfies with her.

(after asking minjeong, apparently jimin was out sick, so the younger girl was left alone, much to her irritation.)

eventually you left after finishing everything you ordered, walking out to the parking lot together. it was nice out, the sun peeking our behind fluffy clouds, and a refreshing breeze dancing at your feet.

"the sandwiches were super good," kazuha remarks, kicking a stray pebble in front of her. "but you know what sounds good right now?"

she opened the car door for you, and walked over to the other side so she could sit on the opposite side.

"what?" you raised an eyebrow, even though you already knew what she was going to say next.

"greek yogurt!" you both said, your shared laughter now echoing within the car.

she started the engine and started to pull out of the parking space, still giggling quietly. "maybe we can get some after the pottery class."

you hummed, stashing the receipt from earlier into the glove box. "yeah, we should."

the drive from the café to the studio was a short ride away, and the two of you spent it belting out the lyrics to 'lovesick girls' by blackpink. it was one of the must-play songs whenever you were on the road with each other; a ride wouldn't feel complete without it.

the lyrics didn't have a special meaning to you, per se. it was just the first song that started playing the first time you and kazuha shared earbuds. the japanese girl happened to be a major blackpink fan, and while you weren't particularly into the group, lovesick girls was a good song. after that day, it became routine to listen to it at least once when you were with her.

when the two of you pulled up to the pottery studio, you breathed out a 'thank you' to sakura in your head. because there was no way your broke ass could afford this place. it blended in with the buildings around it, sleek and modern, and it seemed to be a hotspot for couples on dates.

"welcome!" the employee at the studio bowed. the place was quite sophisticated, charmingly decorated but still managing to keep a homey atmosphere.

you followed them to the front desk, pulling up the information that sakura sent you in the midst of your earlier morning misery. "we have a session for 12?"

the employee nodded, scanning the barcode that was included in the email.

"y/n?"

"that's me," you awkwardly waved. kazuha stifled a laugh, and you nudged her shoulder.

you were both led to a more suited area for working with clay, which was a room that looked much more like a workshop than the neat and tidy reception that you were just at.

"all the tools are over here," the person gestured to a shelving system with clear labels of which tools went where, "and any clay you want to use is over here."

"the paints are next to the clays," they looked down at their wristwatch, "your session is booked until 2, have fun!"

and off they went, skipping right back to the reception desk humming a tune you've never heard before. did... did they just leave you?

your 'date' cleared her throat, looking to you as if you had an answer to the unspoken question that lingered in the air. well, you were dragged to those lessons by eunchae and yunjin twice before, so maybe sakura was planning for you to teach kazuha?

you set your bag down, sighing. "well, let's get started, i've done this before so i think i know what to do?"

she followed, putting her phone down next to the pottery wheel that was already on the table.

a good 15 minutes passed and you showed the girl the basics of working with clay on the wheel. thankfully you both have gone through the tortures and wonders of art class, so there was no need to teach her the ABCs of clay. but the wheel was quickly disregarded when you mentioned you wanted to make a pinch pot, and kazuha, ever the easily influenced, wanted to make one too. there goes part of sakura's plan...?

so you sat across from her, working on a pinch pot that you intended to be in the shape of a cat, while she was trying to make one of moomin. at least that's what she told you—it looked more like a lump attached to the side of the pot, but you weren't going to say that to her face when she looked so proud of herself.

"so, kazuha," you started, carving a feline expression onto your pot, "i have something to tell you."

the girl hummed, not looking up from her own project. she was currently chipping off bits of the edges of clay with a scalpel.

"you mean a lot to me, you know," a deep breath, "truly amazing. you're so talented, and kind, even though you're really dorky and sometimes i feel like you were sent from space- in a good way! it's cute..."

"...but i guess what i'm trying to say, as someone who admi- kazuha!?"

in the middle of your speech, kazuha had accidentally flung a piece of clay into her eye. was she caught off? you didn't know, well, more like you didn't care because you needed to call an ambulance, asap.

"i'm, i'm fine, i think," she hissed, her body betraying her words when her eye started watering an irregular amount and her eye was bloodshot when you could finally see it opened.

you shook your head, biting your lip as you texted the groupchat about what had happened, and took kazuha's keys as you dragged her out with you to the parking lot. luckily, you got your license last month so you should knew what you were doing.

jesus.

"you're going to smash your skull into that desk, y/n."

you felt two taps on your head and the desk respectively, and briefly glanced up to see your classmates aeri and yizhuo looking at you like you were a cow in space.

and so you continued knocking your head against the cheap wood. maybe it'll get bluetoothed to kazuha, making her realize that you liked her. or something.

you collapsed into the nest of what was your hoodie and arms, and let out a muffled scream.

aeri pursed her lips and patted you on the head in sympathy. "is it kazuha again?"

"it's so kazuha again," yizhuo dragged out. yizhuo had a very punchable face.

you swatted at the cheerleader, scowling. "can you shut up? i swear nothing goes well when it's just me and her."

it's been a week since the clay incident, when you took her to the emergency room. all was fine after the doctor checked her eye and prescribed her some eye drops to use over the course of two weeks. kazuha said that she was feeling okay in the physical sense, but it was pretty traumatizing for her (and you) to be in that situation.

"i'm all out of ideas. should i give up?" you asked, searching for any hint of disagreement in both of the girls' eyes.

they shared a look, and turned back to you. "how about baking cookies?" proposed aeri, grabbing a carton of strawberry milk from her bag and placing it on your desk. you accepted it gratefully, taking a sip almost immediately.

"cookies! i bet she would love those. what if you baked together? you should bake together."

baking. not your strongest suit. the last time you baked, you were banned from the kitchen for a month. but, well, that was because you were messing around with eunchae, and this time you would probably buy a cookie mix from the convenience store. you liked to think you were great at following instructions.

it was worth a shot, though. and you were willing to do anything. except maybe trying to tell her upfront again. that would be too easy. and you liked to torture yourself... for no reason(?)

"i'll try it. thanks, you two. if it goes well, i'll give you some cookies as a token of my gratitude."

yizhuo smiled. aeri looked away.

"we'll have to take a raincheck on that."

4. aeri and yizhuo's idea: bake cookies together! (and sneak in a little smooth "i love you" while you're at it!)

"what made you want to bake cookies all of a sudden, y/n?"

you felt a drop of sweat on your forehead. you and kazuha were getting bowls from the cabinet and ingredients from your fridge. your parents were out tonight, to your relief. not that their presence was unwelcome, but even they were tired of the waiting game with the girl you liked.

the sound of the metal bowls clacking against each other alarmed kazuha, causing her to peek out from the door of the fridge.

"no reason... i just felt like making them. with you! yeah."

"okay... how many eggs do we need?"

you checked the back of the box. "just one."

"okay! ...ow."

it seemed that when she closed the door of the fridge, she had forgotten that her head was there too. how did you predict this? many, many experiences. like how she accidentally let the door slam against her hand, which was holding a can of dr pepper, which then caused her to drop said can, leading to a huge mess on the tiled floor.

she looked at you with a pout, but now holding a singular egg and a stick of butter.

...this was going to be a long day.

...

okay, well maybe not long. it wasn't going that badly, actually. by not bad you mean you were now sitting at the kitchen island with kazuha, waiting for the butter to melt in the microwave. she'd already gotten the egg and water, and you had gotten a bowl and some vanilla extract to mix with the pre-made cookie mix.

it said to soften the butter, but neither of you knew what the difference between softening it and melting it was, so... here's hoping your kitchen doesn't burn down again! and here's hoping that minjeong wouldn't feel offended at your lack of knowledge about baking. that girl could bake a mean cake. and a mean punch.

"you're a great person, y/n," she said, reaching over to rest her hand over yours. you felt the tips of your ears burn at the action. where was this going? wasn't this your line?

then she gave you her signature smile, so warm it could melt you, and you felt like you were actually about to melt into the bar stool.

she squeezed your hand, redirecting her gaze to the counter that she was leaning against. "and i just want to say thank you for taking care of me. and that i really, really..."

you furrowed your brow. "really... what?"

she pointed to the microwave. you glanced over to where she was pointing, and squinted at it to see that there was a flame forming on top of the foil of the small bowl you put the butter in.

wait.

"oh my god, fire! kazuha, get the fire extinguisher, it's on the wall next to the balcony door!"

she rushed to get the tool, preparing to spray as you opened the microwave.

some of the foam got in your face, and you coughed, trying to wave it away from you. kazuha went a little overboard.

did you jinx yourself with the "here's hoping your kitchen doesn't burn down again"? yeah. were you surprised? no.

the athlete cautiously grasped the bowl with an oven mitt, slowly pulling it off of the glass dish. the foil was charred, and she pulled it open to reveal butter that was definitely melted. to the point that it had turned into liquid.

first of all, why did you microwave the butter with the foil on? second of all, why did you even microwave it for that long? you suddenly regretted the decision that the two of you had made to let it melt, soften, or whatever for five minutes.

you sighed, dropping your forehead to the counter. "sorry, zuha. i guess the cookies are a fail for today."

"it's okay, y/nnie," she shook her head, patting your back.

after you cleaned up failure #2 (#1 being the aforementioned cake with eunchae), you watched a few episodes of the latest k-drama with kazuha that night before she went home.

plan d of operation: ILYKZH was, undoubtedly, a fail.

karaoke was a place you and your friend group frequented. at first you avoided it like the plague, but with some convincing from your friends, you've grown comfortable with it.

with all the food and dessert you could order, and free entertainment, (watching sakura sing yet another red velvet song while chaewon and eunchae clap along) who wouldn't like karaoke? though it was mostly the pizza that kept you there. there has got to be some sort of secret ingredient they use.

it was your weekly visit to the usual place, and this time yunjin was accompanying you. you didn't know why she was, but she always paid whenever she came with you guys, so you didn't mind.

the group ordered their drinks, and of course the deluxe pizza and fries combo, and sakura was already looking for the next red velvet song to sing. you smiled fondly at the sight, watching the youngest try to convince her to pick another artist, even though you all knew it wasn't going to happen.

"do you think kkura-unnie's ever gonna stray away from her favorite group?" yunjin tapped your shoulder. you rested your chin on your palm and pretended to think, the american laughing at you soon after. it seemed the answer was delivered telepathically.

"maybe..." you glanced at the eldest, who was now singing a duet with chaewon of 'one of these nights', "...not."

"oh yeah, i have something for you," she reached into her purse, pulling out two slips of paper and presenting them to you.

you narrowed your eyes at her, "what're these? and what for?"

"they're tickets, silly! to the aquarium. i got them from theater club, but i don't need them. why not take zuha out?"

pause. should you trust yunjin? she'd been pretty quiet about your ordeal(s) involving the girl you liked, so who knew what she was planning?

but then you remembered the kitchen that was set on fire just three days ago, and so you took the pair of tickets from her hand anyway.

an invisible spark of understanding flared as you shook her hand.

plan e (e, really?) of operation: ILYKZH was a go.

5. yunjin's idea: go on an aquarium date, accompanied by the deep blue and the jellyfish

"be good, okay?" sakura said to you as you stepped out of the car, shielding your eyes from the glare of the sun.

you playfully scrunched up your nose. "you sound like my mom."

she stuck out her tongue at you, and you had half a mind to get back into the vehicle to flick her on the forehead.

"do it this time, y/n," she reminded you. not that you needed a reminder—the past four attempts were already enough of one.

but, still, she was right. if things didn't go well this time then you might just give up. it had almost been a year since you started trying to confess, after all.

the car door closed with a thump, and you waved at sakura through the window.

now, it was time to wait for kazuha. the girl was bound to arrive any moment now, since it was nearing the meetup time. usually, she'd get there before you, but yunjin probably gave her a ride, and yunjin was known to be a very punctual individual; she always arrived at the exact scheduled time, no earlier, no later.

the time on your phone hit 2:00 pm, and as expected, yunjin's gray SUV pulled up to the parking lot, kazuha in tow. they exchanged some words as they walked up to you, but you couldn't make out anything they were saying.

"hey, y/n!" the american waved to you, lightly pushing the other girl forward, to which she protested to.

"hi, y/n," she said quietly, bashfully scratching her neck. you covered your mouth with your hand to hide your giggles.

"hi kazuha, yunjin! right on time, as per usual."

yunjin nodded, "you know me. well, i hope you two have fun, send me pictures of the fish!"

...and she left.

now it was only you and kazuha, standing in front of the entrance to the aquarium.

"you..."

"huh?" you slightly flinched as she gently held your star pendant, caressing it like it was the most fragile thing on earth.

she softly smiled, looking deeply into your eyes. "you're wearing the necklace."

your heart burst into flames. maybe now was a good time to call sakura to come pick you up with the excuse of having heart palpitations. wait, no, y/n! you have to go on!

hurriedly turning away, you gestured to the glass doors of the building. "let's head in!"

in all honesty, you'd already been here more than a few times, and you'd practically memorized layout of the place. kazuha, however, hadn't, this being her first visit to the aquarium since moving to seoul.

so you let yourself be whisked away by the athlete, wandering through the many, many habitats in one of the biggest aquariums in korea. the two of you stopped by the gift shop, kazuha buying you one of the giant shark plushies, and of course you had to take tons of pictures with it in the shark tunnel.

after clearing most of the sections, you ended up going back to the jellyfish exhibits.

"they're just so interesting, the way they just float around, you know?" she said, face illuminated by the blue light of the tank.

you took a moment to admire the sight, stepping closer to observe the moon jellies alongside her. "i get you," you smiled, eyes following the jellies in no particular order. "they're so pretty. especially with the tank lighting."

kazuha turned her head to look at you, a grin spreading on her face as well. "wait, don't move."

in a second, all you could hear was your own thumping heart as the girl's thumb picked something off your face. her own face was incredibly close to yours, her breath fanning your lips as she leaned even closer to you.

"y/n, i..."

at some point (you didn't remember) you felt your eyelids falling shut, anticipating the feeling of her lips on yours.

...but that feeling never came.

"sir, get out of the tank, please! sir!"

the murmur of the crowd behind you became louder, security and staff rushing to another section of the aquarium, shouting warnings one after another.

you jumped away from kazuha, whipping your head around to see the man fighting off two staff members inside one of the tanks, people gathering around it to record the scene.

"what the hell..." you mumbled, turning back to the girl you almost kissed. she looked at you with furrowed brows, a confused expression on her face, similar to yours.

you shifted on your feet, pursing your lips. "we should get out of here. before," you pointed at the situation behind you which one would only deem as utterly ridiculous, "any of that gets worse."

she nodded, and the both of you speed walked to the exit of the building, choosing not to talk about what had happened before you got interrupted. you called sakura, and kazuha called yunjin, and you found yourself in front of the entrance again like in the morning.

that night, you let your dreams finish the moment for you.

+1.

you, sakura, eunchae, chaewon, yunjin, and kazuha all stood in front of the ferris wheel at everland. it was late—the sun was long gone, replaced by the glowing crescent moon.

the ferris wheel was a popular attraction, typically saved for the end of the day. and in your friends' words: the perfect confession spot. you'd already told them you were giving up after the last time, but they just wouldn't budge.

unsurprisingly, you and kazuha were somehow shoved into the cabin together.

as the cabin rose up into the air, you fidgeted with the star pendant resting on your chest. the ride was filled with awkward silence, the two of you sitting on opposite sides but looking away from each other.

you said you were giving up, but deep down you really hadn't. it was hard to stop liking someone you fell for two years ago. even now, your heart was still beating fast just looking at the girl. you wondered when, if ever, these feelings would stop. would you be happy?

the ride was now nearing the top, the night sky becoming more visible from the windows of the cabin.

"hey, y/n..." kazuha said, her voice breaking the silence. your gaze remained outside, unmoving, finding it hard to speak, but you answered regardless.

"yeah?"

"i like you too."

you'd nearly gotten a cramp at how fast your neck turned to meet kazuha's eyes.

"what?"

"i heard you and yunjin and sakura-unnie talking. about how you were going to give up on me, and i was so confused but i finally figured it out," she blurted out, suddenly feeling embarrassed at how quickly she said those words in succession. "and i know you've been trying to tell me but god, i'm so, so stupid."

"y/n," she moved to your side of the booth, taking your hands in hers. there was a mix of determination, honesty, and apology that you could clearly see in her eyes, putting you in a trance.

"i'm sorry it took me this long. but, i like you. so much that i can't sleep at night because all i can think of is you. so much that i spend hours and hours talking about you to yunjin, to the point where she's even blocked me because i just wouldn't stop. so much tha-"

peach. peach was what nakamura kazuha's lips tasted like, the peach flavored lip gloss that you got her on a whim on a random tuesday. your arms naturally looped around her neck, hers wrapping around your waist as she pulled you closer to her, lips moving against yours in a clumsy rhythm.

when you pulled away briefly, forehead resting on hers, she grinned.

"what are you smiling at?"

"you taste like vanilla soft serve."

you shook your head lightly in disbelief. "i had some earlier."

she huffed. "i know."

and her lips were on yours once again.

(when you came out from the cabin, hand in hand with messy hair and smudged lip gloss, you were met with four pairs of knowing looks.

sakura was the first to speak. "who said it?"

you and kazuha looked at each other in confusion. "uh, what?"

"who confessed!" chaewon groaned, puffing her cheeks up in impatience.

"kazuha did," you said before your now girlfriend could.

sakura and yunjin pumped their fists in the air, even going as far as giving each other a spirited hug. you smiled at the thought of them being happy for you and kazuha, until you saw eunchae and chaewon grumbling and pulling 50,000 won bills out of their wallets.

"you guys seriously bet on us?" the girl beside you asked, mouth agape.

"we waited two years, we might as well make something out of it!" the american said as she took the golden bill from chaewon, celebrating.

"unbelievable.")

a/n : tell me to write something and i come up with something entirely different this is why i have like 8 wips

#le sserafim x reader #nakamura kazuha x reader #le sserafim imagines #girl group imagines #girl group x reader #nakamura kazuha le sserafim #nakamura kazuha #le sserafim

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raspberriesoda · 2 months

Text

and again. » ljn

genre | angst with fluffy ending, jeno x reader, college au

word count | 2.7k

summary | you hadn’t seen jeno since you had broken up, but a new year’s party brings you back together again, physically and emotionally

warnings | argument, small mention of past relationship issues and insecurity, light swearing, teeniest alcohol mention, flashback where jeno is a dick to reader, one female pet name (pretty girl) but i think its pretty gn aside from that

tonight marks roughly one year.

it’s been an entire twelve months since the big fight that had ultimately caused the downfall of one of the most fawned over relationships on campus. in one year, you’d surprisingly- impressively, even- managed to avoid talking to him or seeing him in person at all.

which really, was your biggest motive for desperately wanting to skip out on the party tonight. you knew jeno would be there, despite the numerous attempts by all of your friends of trying to convince you otherwise. but you knew that you couldn’t bail on everyone who hadn’t seen you since you arrived back from visiting home. not to mention, everyone was going to be there. it’s new years eve, and no one misses the new years party. so you just had to swallow your pride and attend.

the fact that it was the very same party that drove you apart the year prior, however, is another major reason you’d rather just stay home.

even as you sat in your best friend’s car, you weighed your options.

“do we really have to go?”

“are you really asking me that when we’re already half way there?” ningning asks, but its less of a question and more of a statement. “i can drop you off on the street if you really want me to,” she jabs.

you groan, your head falling against the headrest and your hands sliding down your face.

“who’s to say he’s even gonna be there anyway?” karina asks from the backseat.

“stop giving me hope, everyone is going to be there.” you sulk, crossing your arms and sinking down in the passenger seat.

“then what are the chances you'll even run into him? more people more distractions, right?” giselle consoles. she had a valid point, but even the slimmest chance made you want to rip your hair out.

ningning parallel parks her car on the side of the residential road, and the house party practically lights up the entire night sky. your girlfriends chatter excitedly as their heels clack on the sidewalk, all the while you’re hoping, praying that karina and giselle are right.

but as fate would have it, not even three footsteps in the door, you spot him. and unfortunately, your presence doesn’t go unnoticed either.

jeno is stood by the fireplace, deep in conversation, but sees you almost immediately upon your arrival, like the universe was on a timer, counting down to the exact second that your eyes would meet again, not a moment too soon or too late. his lips are parted like he stopped mid sentence, and you stand dumbfounded in the doorway, staring stupidly at him as people shove past you to enter.

renjun taps jeno’s shoulder from beside him, most likely trying to bring his attention back, but jeno’s eyes never leave yours, and you see him mouth your name in response to his confused friend, making your heart flip. renjun follows his eyes, adding to the unwanted attention that’s been placed on you. jeno then suddenly takes a few steps toward you, squeezing through the dense crowd, but before you think it through, you scurry off in the other direction.

“y/n, will you stop pouting about it already?”

you enter your apartment with jeno trailing behind you, your mood extremely sour as you open the door and let it slam against the wall.

“i’m not pouting, jeno. i’m upset, do you not get that?”

“you’re so dramatic,” jeno scoffs. he kicks off his shoes and drops his jacket over the back of your couch, so nonchalant about the whole situation that it makes you even angrier.

“she was all over you!” you cry out in desperation. you’ve repeated this what seemed like a hundred times already, but no matter what you said jeno wouldn’t even attempt to understand.

or maybe, he just didn't care.

“you couldn't even bother to just tell her to stop!”

jeno rolls his eyes. “i told you, y/n, i did tell her to stop. she wouldn’t listen.”

“then that's when you walk away, jeno. push her off of you, ignore her, anything! actions speak louder than words.” your arms flail wildly as you speak. “why do i even have to explain something like this to you? i’ve told you about what’s happened to me before and-“

he’s not even looking at you.

“are you listening?! do you even give a shit about how i feel right now?”

“not when you’re acting like this, y/n.” he drones, tapping away at his phone screen. “maybe if you’d just calm down and acted a little less crazy i’d be more inclined.”

all you feel is red. red from the sting of tears muddling your line of vision. red from the prick of your nails digging into your palms as they grip into fists at your sides. red for the old wound he’s just slashed open.

your voice is low and calm when you speak again.

“get the fuck out of here, jeno.”

only then does he decide to look at you.

“babe-” the smallest hint of guilt crosses his eyes, but he’s burned the bridge already. he reaches a hand out toward you, but you step back as if he’s venomous.

“get out!” you screech, not even caring that it rattles the walls. jeno flinches back. with a huff, he grabs his things and stomps out the door, slamming it behind him.

against all odds, everywhere you look, he’s there.

you see him when you’re seated by the tv watching a tipsy group of freshman struggle to get through a round of a dancing game; he’s sitting on the opposite end of the couch, laughing when they stumble.

and again, when you’re outside soaking in the fresh air; he’s got the attention of everyone lounging in the hot tub, telling them stories behind the constellations visible from the deck.

and again, when you’re reaching into the fridge for another drink; he’s pouring shots for swooning girls at the kitchen island.

always suspiciously close, yet just far enough away.

you initially thought it to be just an unfortunate coincidence, but the house was much too big and had too many other places to be. he’s attracting way too much attention to himself in such ways that it’s impossible for him not to be pining for yours in particular.

enough is enough. you decide that if jeno wants a show, you’ll give him a show.

the basement is the one place left in the house where you hadn’t seen him. its a cozy little space, with sports banners and posters of swimsuit clad models cluttering the walls, and along with the pair of couches there's a large pool table. you watch as your friend jaemin stands beside it, twirling his pool cue in his hands, laughing at something haechan had said. you swirl the liquid around in your red solo cup, an idea brewing in your mind.

right on time, you see jeno descend the staircase. you stand, walking over to jaemin.

“help me with something,” you whisper into his ear. he gives you a curious look, but when your eyes flick over to jeno, jaemin understands immediately and gives you a subtle nod.

it’s no secret to you- or to anyone, really- that jeno is watching you. you can feel his eyes on you, burning your skin as you grab the cue from jaemin’s hand and lean over the bright green table to shoot a striped ball into a pocket. jaemin gives you a charming smile, complimenting your technique. his bubblegum hair reminds you of the color jeno’s was before the breakup. it’s never bothered you before, but your heart involuntarily twists at the thought.

you hum, rounding the table to stand right beside your pink haired friend, scanning for the right ball to shoot in next. you lift your cue to point at the number ten ball, turning to jaemin, tilting your head.

“i don’t think i can get this one on my own, do you mind helping me out?” you ask smoothly, dragging your fingers up his arm. your friend picks up quickly, smirking down at your innocently pouty expression.

“sure thing, pretty,” jaemin hums with faux flirtation. he does a flawless job of dragging his hands along all of the parts your body that were jeno’s favorites, and you can almost feel his stare burn hotter. you not-so-subtly bite down a grin as jaemin leans over you, breathing heavily down your neck as he guides the cue through your arms, shooting the ball directly into a pocket.

after watching from the corner for a while, jeno begins to make his way towards you, telling you that he’s had enough of staying arms length away.

“you’re not subtle,” jeno says bluntly. its directed at you, but he’s glaring at jaemin.

you scowl, casually chalking up the tip of the cue you hold. “a bit narcissistic to think this is about you, don’t you think?” you hadn't expected those to be the first words you’d spoken to him in a year.

“do you mind?” jaemin interjects, his hand resting on your hip. “we’re in the middle of something.”

the tension in the room rises.

“well, whenever you’re finished,” jeno spits through his teeth. he shifts his eyes down toward you then, his gaze just a little bit softer. “i’d be really grateful if you’d meet me outside. i wanna talk to you, if you’ll let me.” and with that he’s gone.

after serious contemplation, you do decide meet him outside, despite a very sensible voice in your head telling you not to. as soon as you slide open the glass door and step out onto the grass, he’s leaning against the side of the house, closer to you than he’s been all night- all year. this close up view of him makes your heart flutter more than you’d ever be willing to admit in the moment. his hair is a shade of brown you’ve never seen on him, but his eyes glimmer just the same as they always have when he looks at you.

“long time no see, baby,” he greets you, the corner of his mouth tipped up in a small somber looking smile.

“that’s not my name.”

“it used to be,” he replies. you roll your eyes.

“what do you want, jeno?” it’s harder to say his name out loud than you thought it would be.

“i know you’ve been thinking about it, too,” he says softly, a very sharp contrast from the vibe he’s been presenting to other partygoers the entire night. the bass thumping upstairs is synched with your heartbeat. you still can’t bring yourself to look directly at him. “there’s no other reason you’d pull a stunt like that. jaemin is handsome, sure, but he’s not your type.” you fold your arms, slumping a bit. you hate that he’s right; that you haven’t changed enough during the time that’s passed and he can still read you like an open book.

“doesn’t feel so good, does it?”

jeno swallows, his head bowing forward to fix his eyes on his feet.

“i wanted to say i’m sorry.”

you turn to look at him then, your brows raised. “isn’t it a little late for that?”

“you blocked my number,” he says; you’d almost forgotten you had, in fact, blocked him on just about everything. “i couldn’t get a hold of you in person, either.

but i didn’t know what to say even if i could. there’s no excuse for what i said to you, and an ‘i’m sorry’ doesnt cut it.”

the look jeno is giving you is so genuine that its hard to breathe. all of a sudden your facade begins to crumble. “i can’t- i’m not doing this, not right now,” you tell him dolefully, turning around to slip back into the house, but he catches your elbow; his grip is soft, unthreatening, unmalicious.

“please, please just listen to me, i’m begging you.” when you turn around he’s on his knees, looking up at you with a pleading look on his face and your hand is clasped between both of his own. you despise how he looks so beautiful in the dim moonlight.

“jeno.” you blink your tears away. “don’t beg for me, please.”

he tugs lightly on your wrist, and reluctantly you sink down to kneel in front of him on the grass.

“i haven’t had a full night’s sleep in a year. every time i dream, its about you. believe me y/n i've tried so hard to let it go but the things i said to you still haunt me.”

his eyes flicker across yours, glistening with tears of his own, searching for something he can grab onto. the floodgates holding your emotions in begin to crack at a rate that’s too quick for you to keep up with. “you, you knew how i felt, about things like that,” your voice stutters, your lip quivers. “you knew, and, and you still-“ you choke on a sob.

“i know. y/n i’m so sorry,” he gingerly lifts a hand to your face, pausing for a moment, but when you don’t lean away or swat at him, his thumb brushes your cheek to wipe a tear away that’s just fallen from your lashes, tenderly tucking a stray lock of hair behind your ear. “thinking about how i made you feel that night makes me so disgusted with myself. i never ever wanted to hurt you, but the fact is that i did and i can’t forgive myself for that.”

a moment of quiet passes between you. you wipe at your face with the sleeve of your sweater over and over but your tears don’t stop and the runaway drops fall onto your bare knees.

“do you remember when we won king and queen of prom court in high school?”

his sudden question puzzles you. you look up at him, and you see the real jeno. your jeno, soft and simple and so full of love.

“we went out for ice cream after the dance. it was the first night i told you i loved you.

and again, when we went to your sister's wedding together. you accidentally spilled red wine on my favorite white dress shirt. you were trying so hard not to cry, but i told you it didn’t matter, because i loved you.

and again, when we took your little brother and his friends out to that laser tag place for his birthday. we played one on one, and when you asked me why i let you win, i told you it was because i loved you.

and again, when you broke your wrist falling off the old tire swing in your front yard. you asked me why i came over every night to feed you dinner, even though you didn’t need the help, and i told you it’s because i loved you.”

“what are you doing?” you cut him off before he can continue any further, your voice small and trembling.

“i’m telling you that i still love you.”

he scoots forward on the ground, his body now so close to yours that you can feel his warmth. “i know i don’t deserve it, but all i’m asking for is another chance to love you right, the way you deserve to be loved.” his fingers cling tightly to your hand he still holds as he speaks.

“i don't know where you stand, so you’ve got all the power in your hands right now. stay here with me, and i’ll know we’re on the same page. turn around, and i’ll leave you alone, and you won’t see me again. it’s your choice, and i won’t judge you either way. your word is the final word.”

you feel heavy. his sweet words and the smell of his familiar cologne are intoxicating, but you do know you have the ability to get up and walk away right now if you want to.

but… do you want to?

the painful racing of your heart reminds you that no matter what, no matter how long you’ve been apart, you love jeno. you always have you and always will.

you raise a hesitant arm, placing your shaking hand lightly on his shoulder, and he draws in a breath. your fingers dance upward, contemplating, lips parted slightly with hazy breaths. cupping his jaw, you lean upward, brushing your lips against his in the lightest kiss, testing the waters.

you ignite. suddenly you’re full of such a serene feeling of home, a feeling you hadn’t realized had been absent from your life from the second you pushed him out of it. all the memories you’d tried so hard to keep at bay come rushing back with the image of a soft and smiley jeno; one who’s never had anything but love for you. jeno sees your eyes light up, and he smiles dreamily at you. in an instant, you’ve never been more sure of anything.

you press yourself up against him, pulling him down into your lips, and he wraps you up in his arms. even though the house is filled with the sounds and heat of other people, it’s only you and jeno in the entire world. you pull away when you can’t control your cries anymore, burying your face in his neck instead.

“i’m sorry,” your voice wobbles as you let out the words, but jeno sweetly hushes you, rocking you back and forth in time with the rhythm of the muffled music.

“no apologies from you, pretty girl. none of this is your fault.” you feel the weight of the world lifted from your shoulders. he presses a gentle kiss to your temple, resting his chin on top of your head.

“i love you,” he reassures you. and he does again, and again, and again.

#lee jeno #lee jeno angst #lee jeno fluff #jeno angst #jeno fluff #lee jeno drabble #jeno drabble #jeno imagine #jeno x reader #lee jeno x reader #nct dream angst #nct dream fluff #nct dream drabble #nct dream x reader #judah.doc

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shuhwaa · 5 months

Text

Aespa Reaction | You asking them to teach you how to kiss

Aespa all members x gn!reader genre: fluff, reaction warnings: none

Karina:

internal panic as soon as she processes your question

has no idea how to react but she doesn't want to make you feel bad by taking too long to come up with an answer either

"Are you sure?" is what eventually comes out of her mouth, and when you say yes she panics some more

not that she doesn't like the idea of kissing you - quite the opposite, actually - but she's scared she's going to ruin your first kiss for you

"But... don't you want it to be with someone you love?"

you tell her it's just practice and that you don't want to fuck it up when things are coming down to it

so she hesitantly agrees, drawing near and pressing her lips against yours

however, once she can feel you kissing her back, her worries fade and she simply goes for it

"That wasn't your first kiss just now..." she mutters, and when you assure that it was, she adds, "Wanna keep going?"

and how could you say no to that when her lips seem to melt so perfectly against yours...?

Giselle:

thinks she heard you wrong when you ask her to teach you how to kiss

you definitely feel just slightly humiliated when you have to repeat yourself, and now she feels sorry, seeing you in such a state

"Sure, but... are you sure you want me to be your first kiss?"

you argue that it technically doesn't count if it's for practice, and well, now you've made her lowkey want to prove you wrong...

so she puts aside whatever she's been doing and walks up to you confidently, capturing your chin between her thumb and index finger

the way she stares at your mouth and parts her lips slightly alone makes your heart race

"Here I go, then," she mutters, and next thing you know she's leaning in

needless to say her kiss leaves you breathless, and when she sees you all flustered it only makes her want to keep going

she WILL tease you about how much you're enjoying this, and when she hears you mumble something about how maybe it does count, you can feel her smirk into the kiss before she deepens it

Winter:

"You've... never kissed anyone?"

she's surprised to say the least, but when you react to her question strongly due to your embarrassment she immediately apologizes

"Oh, no, I didn't mean it like that..."

says that you're just so pretty, she didn't think there's never been a person who wanted to kiss you?

and then she blushes hard because when she realizes what she just said jdhsjdjsjxjx

will agree eventually and be a nervous wreck about it herself

but she'll pull herself together for your sake

tells you to just close your eyes and then warns you again before she leans in slowly, pressing a feathery light kiss to your lips

sends you the sweetest smile when you open your eyes and she asks you if you liked it (how are you supposed to not fall in love with her on the spot????)

keeps going if you ask her to, until eventually you're making out slowly, arms wrapped around the other while you're exploring each other's lips

Ningning:

"What? You want me to teach you how to kiss?"

repeats your question with an amused expression on her face and then invites you to sit next to her on the sofa

beams with confidence as she agrees, and then:

"I've never done this either though..."

????

suggests that you're just gonna have to figure things out together, and also she's kinda glad you asked cause she's been curious what it feels like too

she WILL start giggling uncontrollably when your lips meet somewhat clumsily and your noses almost crash into each other on first try djbdnd

but once she's collected herself she tells you to just stay still, and this time she kisses you properly

her lips linger on yours before she pulls back, and when you look at each other you both know you want more

"I think we need a lot of practice..." she mutters, and with her hand cupping your face she leans back in

#aespa reactions #aespa fluff #aespa x reader #aespa scenarios #aespa imagines #karina fluff #giselle fluff #winter fluff #ningning fluff #karina x reader #giselle x reader #winter x reader #ningning x reader #fluff #reaction

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kyuusberry · 3 months

Text

gf!karina | aespa karina - headcanon

pairing: karina x gn!reader

warnings: none!

a/n: i usually never make headcanons, but i have no idea how to finish my drafts lmao. i need to finish making the next chapters for my series.. and those oneshots that have just been sitting there since forever. trying to make my stories more readable for everyone, so i'm gonna stop doing small text for the actual reading part and only for intros like this

cis men, homophobes, racists, 20+, smut accounts dni

gf!karina who was too shy to talk to you at first

gf!karina who practically fell in love with you at first sight

gf!karina who made ningning ask for your number for her

gf!karina who took you on a date at the han river and instantly asked you to be her s/o

gf!karina who spoils you rotten for no absolute reason

gf!karina who loves physical touch and enjoys cuddling you

gf!karina who goes overboard with gifts on holidays, especially valentines day and your birthday

gf!karina who gets upset whenever you're not okay and spoils you to try to make feel better

gf!karina who will take days off or skip work to take care of you whenever you're sick

gf!karina who is bascially attached to your hip whenever you two are together

gf!karina who always facetimes you before every one of her concerts or texts you if she's abroad and there's different timezones because she doesn't wanna wake you up

gf!karina who gets stupidly happy whenever you surprise her that she ends up dropping something or tripping

gf!karina who always talks about your future together and how many kids she wants with you

gf!karina who will love you forever and ever, and keep you in her heart even if you two break up or if something bad happens between the two of you

#karina #aespa karina #yoo jimin #yu jimin #karina x reader #aespa #headcanon #kpop gg #kpop #kpop girls #kpop imagines #kpopidol #karina aespa #aespa headcanons #karina headcanons #kyuusberry

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tyun4airy · 3 months

Text

— YOU DON'T GO TO PARTIES

yu jimin (aespa) x gn!reader

genre: hurt/comfort

summary: after breaking up, jimin regrets it as soon as she notices you not being around anymore, realizing just how much she loved you. now, she's trying to get you back by showing up at your door at five in the morning

warnings: language, exes to lovers trope, non idol!karina

wc: 1.1 k

aespa masterlist | main masterlist

posting this while i work on my first req, i hope you guys enjoy! i'm a bit rusty

it was roughly five in the morning when your phone pinged with a text message lighting up the screen, making you open your eyes and groan slightly. you couldn't imagine who would be texting you at this hour unless it was your boss asking you to come in, and you reluctantly grabbed your phone and looked at it.

hey

that was it? you rubbed your eyes of your tiredness and looked at it again, making sure you were reading it right. that was all she had to say after breaking up? you don't even understand why she was awake right now. your fingers hovered above the keyboard as you thought about what to do. she hadn't texted you in months, and now suddenly at five in the morning she is? something was off. just as you were about to turn off your phone, the typing box on her side popped up again, making you stop.

i miss you

god damnit. you sighed and rubbed your hands over your face. what was this game she's playing with you? part of you didn't want to know. yet, you responded.

go to sleep, jimin.

you put your phone down and immediately sighed again when you heard the ding. you couldn't believe you responded, likely just falling into the trap, but you couldn't help it. even if you two weren't together anymore, you still loved her. you looked at your phone and your eyes widened at the message.

can you let me in? i’m outside

“jesus christ,” you groaned.

you climbed out of your bed and walked to your front door, pausing for a moment before unlocking and opening the door.

there stood yu jimin, your ex-girlfriend with a convenience store bag in one hand, and flowers in the other hand. she had a nervous smile on her face as she looked back at you. “uh, surprise,” she said, waving her hands a little.

“do you know how early it is?” you sighed, leaning against the door. “why are you here?”

“well, uh, if you want me to be honest i don't really know,” she chuckled anxiously. “i just…i know i messed up. i messed up big time and lost you because of it. but, if you're willing to give me a second chance then here are flowers and your favorite snacks and drink,” she explained, holding up both the flowers and bag at the end.

you could tell by the expression on her face that she was being genuine, and while you wanted to say no, you ended up nodding your head and opening the door wider. “you're lucky.”

immediately jimin’s face lit up into a bright smile and she scurried inside the apartment, letting you close the door behind her. “thank you thank you thank you,” she said, quickly pecking your lips each time she said it.

while you tried to stop a smile from forming on your face, it ended up happening anyway and you let out a quiet chuckle. “don't thank me,” you said, shaking your head. “though, now that you've woken me up you have to try and keep me awake. it's one of my few days off.”

“i picked a good day, then!” jimin replied with a smile. she put the bag and flowers down on your coffee table before walking back over to you, her arms hooking around your neck. “i missed you,” she pouted. “i was worried you wouldn't respond. it would've been really embarrassing standing in front of your door and you never opening it.”

“i missed you too,” you responded, your arms subconsciously wrapping around her waist. “but you know i wouldn't leave you outside in the cold, even if i hate you, i wouldn't. you're just lucky i could never stop loving you. even though you broke up with me.”

“okay it was a not so smart decision on my part, yes. but, it’s not like you really put in an effort to keep it together,” she said, one of her hands playing with your hair.

“then why haven’t you texted me for months?” you questioned.

“well,” she paused for a moment. “i honestly thought you hated me. i know it was sudden and out of nowhere and i’m sorry for whatever i put you through by putting that on you randomly, so i didn’t want to try texting and you block me. then i would’ve shown up here literally out of nowhere, that would’ve been bad.”

“hated you?” you asked. “i may have been upset, but i would always answer your texts either way. i can’t hate you.”

“well i didn’t know that!” jimin whined. “i’ve never tried texting an ex of mine before but i couldn’t sleep and decided if i texted you now months later you might not be mad anymore.” she pouted up at you.

“well, that was easy considering i never hated you,” you laughed lightly, poking her cheek. “but seriously, i missed you really bad if i didn’t say that already.”

“i think we’ve said it at least flour times now,” she giggled. “i’m glad you didn’t get with someone else.”

“to be fair, i told people i was still with you,” you admitted, glancing away from her.

“oh thank god!” she exclaimed, making you look at her confused. “i did the same thing, but it was hard lying to the girls, they were adamant that i wasn’t telling the truth.”

you let out a laugh and nodded. “well, now it’ll be easier because you won’t have to lie.”

“does this mean we’re officially back together?” jimin asked with hope and a smile on her face.

you nodded again. “i would like to say so, yes,” you answered.

immediately after your words her face lit up, her smile turning into a grin as she kissed you all over your face, mumbling little “thank you’s” and “you won’t regret it” after each small kiss. a few short laughs came from you at her mannerisms and you smiled down at her.

“i love you,” you told her, kissing her forehead.

“i love you too,” she smiled back at you.

“now, since i’m completely awake, i’ll make something to eat,” you said, patting her head gently.

“oh how i’ve missed real food,” she replied with a quiet chuckle.

“i know,” you nodded with a laugh. “you wanna help?”

“i think we both know it wouldn’t end well if i tried.”

“...that’s true.”

#kpop x reader #kpop gg x reader #gg x reader #aespa x reader #karina x reader #yu jimin x reader #aespa scenarios #aespa imagines #karina scenarios #karina imagines

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baddestbittyontheblock · 7 months

Text

yu jimin (karina) fic recs

you are responsible for the content you consume‼️

✧*:·˚ hi everyone!! here is a list of all the fics that are my favs with tagged writers/authors ✧*:·˚

✧*:·˚ remember to like and reblog the works you enjoy in order to support each writer!! ✧*:·˚

✧*:·˚ however, make sure you read the information on each story themselves such as triggers & warnings ✧*:·˚

✧*:·˚ also, if you'd like me to remove your fic from this list, message me! ✧*:·˚

°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

my favs= ❁

ᥫ᭡ the model and the muse ❁ by @constantinerkives model! karina x non-celeb fem reader | established relationship, secret relationship - well, not anymore IG, jealousy haha, Karina is FERAL for you in a soft way, territorial Rina, soft ending, I think that's pretty much it

-when you care for someone - love someone, sacrifices are made.

ᥫ᭡ home by @chaepu idol!yoo jimin x idol!reader | fluff

-karina stares at her phone while she waits for your video to load in and after a few seconds, your face appears on her screen, but very pixelated.

ᥫ᭡ behind closed doors by @laurentpark karina x aespa! eader | fluff

-you and your girlfriend managed to keep your relationship a secret and away from the public eye, but that doesn't mean people are convinced you two aren't inlove.

ᥫ᭡ moving along by @phamminji non-idol!yu jimin x fem!reader | 2.3k

-"what's your problem?!"

"you're the problem, y/n."

ᥫ᭡ karina drabble by @kimsohn karina x fem!reader | fluff, reader shorter than karina

-“you're really adorable, you know?”

“you're so obsessed with me, love”

ᥫ᭡ keep going by @deong ceo!g!p karina x fem!reader | dom karina, sub reader, smut, dry humping, riding, fingering, cursing, 1.08k

-a loud sigh can be heard from one of the offices in yu enterprises’

ᥫ᭡ through the night by @1104-am idol!karina x idol!gnreader | fluff, angst, 7k+

-the cold night breeze slaps your face the second you step out of your apartment building, sending your hair flying back as you made sure no one was around to see you out.

ᥫ᭡ back to december by ^ karina x gn!reader | based on taylor swift’s back to december, so highly recommend listening to it while reading!

-you fidgeted with your silverware, stealing glances at the entrance with each passing moment.

ᥫ᭡ 너랑 나 by @jiihu karina x reader | age difference (reader is 18, jimin is 27), slight power imbalance, doctor!jimin, slight angst, 2.6k

-meeting jimin at your birthday party your mom threw for you, you found yourself instantly infatuated with the older woman.

ᥫ᭡ smut fic by @rinafucks yoo jimin x female!reader | spitting, tribbing, toe sucking, oral (reader receiving)

-karina went to your dorms to visit her sister but ended up in your room instead.

ᥫ᭡ the only one i want (part 1) by @fayeforrosie karina x fem!reader

-karina knew she was pretty. she knew she had a chance with everyone, however, she was forever against any romantic relationships ever since she became an idol. why would she want anyone when all they ever do is love her for her fame and looks? she knew she could never find anyone perfect for her, so she gave up on romance... until she met you

ᥫ᭡ and so we meet (part:3) by ^ karina x fem!reader | 2.4k

-finally getting the chance to meet you, karina can’t help the butterflies swarming her stomach. Finding herself lost in your eyes, unaware of her members (un)patiently waiting at home for her arrival, anticipating how it went. part 3 to The Only One I Want

ᥫ᭡ karina drabble by @luvyeni sistersbestfriend!karina x fem!reader | smut, 18+ , usage of a vibrator , fingering, a little boob play , dirty talk

ᥫ᭡ to you by @ddoxhan karina x reader | fluff

-there's not a day I don't think of you, jimin showed you what love feels like

ᥫ᭡ roommate fic by @wintersera g!p jiminjeong x f!reader | overworking, threesome (reader receiving) , oral (giving), cockwarming at the end, praise, soft dom rina, um sorta dom winter?, subby reader, rina cums everywhere, 2.1k

-in the next two weeks you had an exam. and hell, you were stressing the fuck out.

ᥫ᭡ forever mine by @wintersera alpha!karina x omega!reader | OMEGAVERSE, maybe rina is a little possessive, smut (use of toys, biting, scratching, g!p rina, creampie, breeding kink)

-your alpha girlfriend was so sweet and caring, the best alpha you could ever wish for. unlike other alphas, she was never too aggressive with you, rather, she was too careful with you- biologically she should’ve been treating you like you were her toy for breeding, but i guess not. nonetheless she was still a great alpha girlfriend.

ᥫ᭡ karina teasing y/n by @jihyoruri yu jimin x 5th!member reader

-yn brought her knees to her chest as her and her leader sat on the floor, jimin’s arm rest over yn’s knees as she talks to the live, there’s more fans than usual since it’s not everyday that you see yn and jimin together alone.

#karina #karina x reader #aespa #aespa x reader #yu jimin #yu jimin x reader #yoo jimin #yoo jimin x reader

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aettuddae · 9 months

Text

funky - karina [smau]

➵ pairing: idol!karina/yu jimin x band member!gn!reader/oc

➵ synopsis: aeri takes her members to a music festival to introduce them to her newly made friend, jeon minki, the front person of a popular rock band in south korea. after seeing minki, karina, aespa's leader, becomes completely starstruck with the rockstar, and decides to find a way to make them fall in love with her, even though minki is the most clueless person in the universe.

➵ genre: social media au, fluff, angst, slow burn, strangers to lovers, one sided love, idol au

➵ warnings: main character is an original character, insults, swearing, d**th jokes (kms, kys jokes), first few chapters will be mainly from jimin's pov, grammar mistakes (english not my first language), will add on

➵ status: finished.

➵ featuring: aespa, jeon somi, nct members, huh yunjin from le sserafim, rosé from blackpink, minghao from seventeen, gyuvin from zb1, hongjoong from ateez, ryujin from itzy

— profiles.

aespa | funky cat club | friends

— chapters.

• chapter 1.

• chapter 2.

• chapter 3.

• chapter 4.

• chapter 5.

• chapter 6.

• chapter 7.

• chapter 8.

• chapter 9.

• chapter 10.

• chapter 11.

• chapter 12.

• chapter 13.

• chapter 14.

• chapter 15.

• chapter 16.

• chapter 17.

• chapter 18.

• chapter 19.

• chapter 20.

• chapter 21.

• chapter 22. part 1 - part 2.

• chapter 23. part 1 - part 2.

• chapter 24.

• chapter 25.

• chapter 26.

• chapter 27.

• chapter 28.

• chapter 29.

• chapter 30.

• chapter 31.

• chapter 32.

• chapter 33.

• chapter 34.

• chapter 35.

• chapter 36.

• chapter 37.

• chapter 38.

• chapter 39.

• chapter 40.

• chapter 41.

• chapter 42.

• chapter 43.

• chapter 44.

• chapter 45.

• chapter 46.

• chapter 47.

• chapter 48.

• chapter 49.

• chapter 50.

• chapter 51.

• chapter 52.

• chapter 53.

• chapter 54.

• chapter 55.

• chapter 56.

• chapter 57.

• chapter 58.

• chapter 59.

• chapter 60.

• chapter 61.

• chapter 62.

• chapter 63.

• chapter 64.

• chapter 65.

• chapter 66.

• chapter 67.

• chapter 68.

• chapter 69.

• chapter 70.

• chapter 71. part 1 - part 2.

• chapter 72.

• chapter 73.

• chapter 74.

• chapter 75.

• chapter 76.

• chapter 77.

• chapter 78.

• chapter 79.

• chapter 80.

• chapter 81.

• chapter 82.

• 83. funkily ever after.

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sanccharine · 6 months

Text

3:35 | aespa karina

pairing: karina x gn!reader

genre: angst

word count: 0.5k

warnings: descriptions of blood, violence, murder – please don’t read if you are uncomfortable !

a/n: drama mv has me inspired :D

The katana arched through the air, striking true.

Their throat was sliced clean open, blood spurted out as the man crumpled to the floor. Karina had already moved on.

You had to clasp both palms over your mouth to stop yourself from letting out a scream and giving yourself away from your hiding spot. The pain of your cheeks being crushed into your teeth was the only thing grounding you. The action was stopping you from breathing. You wanted to take in large breaths of air, anything to alleviate the crushing weight in your chest, but you feared if you even tried to inhale, they’d find you.

Perhaps you should have moved, bolted out from the bar when you had the chance. However, you’d lost all control over your legs, completely useless sprawled underneath you while you stayed covered beside the entrance to the bar. Even crawling away to hide behind the bar proved to be difficult in your state, you were trembling far too much.

The sound of glass shattering brought you out of your thoughts. Instinctively, your hands wrapped around your head as a whimper escaped your lips. Tears streamed freely down your face as you began to question every decision that led to this moment, how could you have been so naive?

You must look so stupid.

The two of you couldn’t be more opposed. While you were a blubbering, incoherent mess, Karina seemed far removed from the fight she was winning.

Every slow step she took was one taken with confidence. Her wide steps and straight posture emanated strength as she swung her blade around with unbelievable ease. Every attack was a point to her name, and none of her moves were wasted. Watching her fight was akin to watching the climax of a performance, it was difficult to look away. She didn’t even blink when droplets of blood landed on her face.

Instead, she turned around and drove her blade clean through someone's stomach before dragging it out. This time, you couldn’t stop the scream that left you.

Karina’s gaze moved to you, slow and steady. Her eyes were half-lidded, completely vacant. Emotionless.

When an attacker changed trajectory and made a move towards you, Karina was quick to stop them. You hadn’t even seen how it happened, couldn’t make any sense of it. One moment they were both standing. The next, the assailant was lying on their back at your feet, their blank stare looking up at you while she wrenched her sword out of their chest. Warm blood splattered across your face and your sobs returned.

Karina observed you. As if to catch your reaction to the show she was performing, made just for you.

Pressing her thumb and forefinger to the blade, she wiped the blood and let it splatter to the floor. She moved forward, her steps just as slow as when she was fighting before bringing a knee down in front of you.

From where you were crouched, it seemed as if she absorbed what little light there was in this bar. She cast a shadow as she clicked her tongue. That caught your attention, you looked up at her only to find her surveilling the room around her.

With a roll of her eyes, she looked back at you.

There was a glint in her eyes, the first real display of emotion from her during this night.

“Now say it,” she said. “Do you still love me?”

any feedback is much appreciated.

a/n: ngl this reads like an old indian movie plot, but who cares. also we deserve some cowardly and pathetic reader representation !! hkjashfka anygays hope you have a good day/night <3

tagging: @someone-who-likes-broccoli

#mala's collection #sanccharine #karina x reader #aespa x reader #karina imagines #aespa imagines #aespa karina #karina timestamp #karina angst #3:35

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songyuqifromlesserafim · 4 months

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OMG not me finally dropping the Karina x Reader SMAU trailer - teehee

Karina x GN! Idol! reader SMAU trailer/info

Synopsis: After you moved to Seoul to start training to become and idol you thought you had found the one for you, Aeri Uchinaga or "Giselle" of aespa, you see that was until you found out that she had been cheating on you, and not just once or twice but atleast with 15 different people, your life was practically over, well at least mentally. That was until you met someone on an idol blind dating show, even though you've since found out who the other person was you can't help holding onto her, even if she's your ex's bestfriend, but you don't know if she feels the same way...

Genre: SMAU, fluff, angst, comedy (eventually), slow burn

Warnings: WILL BE UPDATED

PROFILES: Aespa Girls Moment -- Flopping And Absolutely NOT Trying -- CuWHOpids -- MISC. Profiles

Status: Ongoing

Featuring Characters of: aespa, WILL BE UPDATED

CHAPTER LINKS: 1.- 2.- 3.- 4.- 5.-

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1104-am · 11 months

Text

karina | back to december

genre ; fluff , angst

pairings ; karina x gn!reader

note ; written in orange are flashbacks! i wrote this based on taylor swift’s back to december, so i highly recommend listening to it while reading! this one is quite long but i hope you guys love it <3

word count ; 8.9K

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

you fidgeted with your silverware, stealing glances at the entrance with each passing moment. the air in the restaurant was filled with a mixture of nervousness and anticipation as you anxiously waited for karina to arrive.

the relationship between you and karina was a journey that unfolded over the course of three remarkable years. it began during the predebut days, two months before aespa's debut to be exact. when both of you were on the cusp of chasing your dreams. from the very start, there was an undeniable connection, a shared understanding that transcended words and brought you closer together.

it had been two long years since your breakup, and the emotions that surged within you were both overwhelming and unfamiliar. in all honesty, you didn't want to see her, as the memories you had share with her during the last moments you guys were together wasn't all rainbows and unicorns.

but the moment her contact name popped up on your notification bar asking to meet you at a restaurant nearby her company, you couldn't say no. especially after not seing her for two whole years.

as the door swung open, karina stepped into the restaurant, her eyes searching for you amidst the sea of diners. when your gazes finally met, a palpable tension enveloped the space between you. your eyes locked for a fleeting moment before karina hesitantly made her way toward the table where you sat, your seats facing each other.

your heart raced as karina approached, your mind filled with a whirlwind of memories and unanswered questions. you had rehearsed countless scenarios in your mind, but none of them could have prepared you for the overwhelming emotions that flooded your senses.

karina reached the table, her steps tentative, her expression a mix of uncertainty and curiosity. with a forced smile, you gestured for her to take a seat. you settled into your chairs, the silence between you heavy and awkward. the sounds of clinking cutlery and distant conversations seemed to intensify, magnifying the discomfort that hung in the air.

you couldn't help but be drawn to karina's beauty, both outwardly captivating and inwardly mysterious. her allure was a reminder of the intangible nature of desire, a bittersweet ache that left you yearning for a closeness that seemed forever out of reach. the way she had her hair up in a messy bun reminds you of the day the both of you met three years ago,

THE FIRST ENCOUNTER

the practice room hummed with the sounds of music echoing off the walls as you meticulously fine-tuned your guitar. lost in your own world, you were unaware of anyone else's presence until a soft voice interrupted your concentration.

you look up to find karina, the trainee that have been the talk of all trainees and even trainer. though you hear her name everyday, this is the first time you've met her. standing at the entrance, a hint of curiosity in her eyes. "oh sorry. are you scheduled to use the room after me?" you asked, stealing a glance at your wrist watch.

karina's face lit up with a gentle smile as she took a step closer. "no, i just wanted to see you," she replied, her voice filled with sincerity. "sorry, was that a little bit creepy?"

a flicker of surprise mixed with amusement washed over your face, and a chuckle escaped your lips. "creepy? not at all!" you paused for a moment, studying karina's expression. her eyes were glued on the object you had in your hand. "do you play guitar too?"

karina's eyes sparkled with enthusiasm as she shared her own love for the instrument she had been playing since she was little.

she shook her head, she lied. her eyes locked with yours, as if a silent connection had formed between you. "i've always wanted to," she whispered, taking a few steps closer towards you before plopping down in front of you. "would you mind showing me a few chords?"

a surge of excitement coursed through your veins as her request filled the air. her subtle invitation sparked a sense of anticipation within you, and you couldn't help but be drawn to her magnetic presence.

"of course," you responded, your voice tinged with eagerness. "come, i'll show you the basics." you gestured her to scoot closer to you.

karina settled herself next to you, her eyes intently focused on your hands as they guided the strings. as you explained the chords and their placements, your fingers brushed against hers, a subtle touch that sent a delightful shiver down your spine.

"this, is c chord" you said, moving her fingers up and down the fret board, as she strums the strings downwards, scanning your face to see if she got the tune right everytime she strums.

you chuckled at her act, "you know you don't have to check my expression everytime you strum right?" her eyes turned into a crescent moon shape, "i just wanted to see how proud you are of me! honestly im doing well aren't i?"

as the lesson progressed, playful banter intertwined with musical instruction. laughter filled the room as you shared stories, both lighthearted and personal, creating a sense of camaraderie and familiarity.

there was a brief silence as karina practices her chords, you examined her face before you mustered the courage to ask, "why did you want to see me?"

her lips turned into a slight pout, eyebrows raised in wonder as she looked around the room before looking right into your eyes. her gaze held a mix of intrigue and honesty as she replied, "i've been hearing about you a lot, and i was curious about how you looked like. especially when people spoke highly of your talent"

"i'm flattered," you responded, a touch of vulnerability in your voice. "but you could just look at me once and go on with your day. what made you want to sit here and learn how to play the guitar from me?" a grin creeped on your face, "i see that you have quite thick calluses" you playfully teased

karina's face turned red the instant you called her out for faking her skills, she did not mind being called out, her smile widened, a playful glimmer in her eyes. "well, let's just say i wanted to see if the music and the musician were equally captivating," she replied, her voice carrying a subtle flirtation.

a sense of warmth filled your chest at her words, and a flicker of realization passed between you. a soft chuckle escaped your lips as you leaned in a little closer. "and have i met your expectations?" you asked, a mixture of curiosity and anticipation in your voice.

her laughter filled the room, a melodic sound that resonated with your heart. "oh y/n, you've exceeded them," she replied as a smile crept on her face.

karina struggled to find the right words, her mind a jumble of thoughts and emotions. she cleared her throat, attempting to break the suffocating silence. "it's been a while," she finally managed to say, her voice tinged with a mix of nostalgia and apprehension.

you nodded, your gaze fixed on the tablecloth, your fingers tracing invisible patterns. "yeah.. it has," you replied softly, your voice carrying a trace of sadness. the weight of your shared history loomed over you, reminding you of the love you once had and the pain that followed.

the air hung heavy with unspoken emotions, and it took all of karina's courage to break the suffocating silence. "i'm so glad you made time to see me," she whispered, her voice trembling slightly.

she mustered a hesitant smile, her eyes searching your face for a glimmer of warmth or familiarity. "how's life?" she asked softly, her voice carrying a mix of trepidation and genuine curiosity. "how's your family? i haven't seen them in a while."

a flicker of pain passed through your eyes as you replied, your voice laced with caution, "life goes on, i suppose. my family is doing well. they ask about you sometimes, but it's been a while since you've been a part of our lives."

karina's gaze dropped, her fingers nervously tracing the rim of her coffee cup. she could sense the walls you had erected, the barriers that kept her at arm's length as the memory of her visiting your house that one time crept into her mind.

WHISPERS OF INTRIGUE

8 months passed since your first encounter with the girl who changed your life. seasons changed, and the night air was filled with a sense of anticipation and joy as lunar new year approached. excitement buzzed through the house as the trainees packed their bags, ready to embark on journeys to their hometowns.

but in the midst of the bustling preparations, karina found herself in a predicament—her bus ticket had some unexpected issues, leaving her stranded and unable to celebrate the lunar new year with her own family.

"i did! i checked everything, i don't know why they said my ticket is invalid.. now what do i do?" tears welled up the brim of karina's eyes as she ends the call with her mom. you let out a sigh, feeling bad.

"you can come with me" you suggested, the tears that was threatening to fall, rolled down her cheeks as she looked up at you in anticipation. "can i?" her voice sparks with excitement, her tears aggressively wiped with her sleeves.

understanding her predicament, you extended an invitation for karina to join you at your house, not wanting her to spend the festive occasion alone. as you approached the front door, karina's nerves began to flutter like butterflies in her stomach. she couldn't help but wonder how she would be received by your family, unsure if she would be greeted warmly or if her presence would disrupt their traditions.

the door swung open, revealing your mother, who greeted karina with a very warm smile. "oh my, welcome jimin! we're delighted to have you join us. come in! come in!" her kind words instantly eased karina's worries, and she stepped into your home, feeling a sense of belonging wash over her.

inside, the house was adorned with festive decorations, and the aroma of delicious food wafted through the air. she scanned your house, looking at all the pictures framed on the wall. you and karina were the total opposite when it comes to family.

her family is wealthy, whilst yours is so-so. being the only child, your parents can't say no to you. and though them opposing your dreams of becoming an idol, they can't help but to just trust you fully and give you their full support.

your father, with a twinkle in his eye, pulled karina into a warm embrace. "we've heard so much about you, jimin. It's a pleasure to finally meet you. please make yourself at home." karina blushed, hearing what your father had just said as she wonders what did you tell your parents.

amidst the lively conversations and laughter, karina felt her nervousness gradually dissipate. the genuine warmth and acceptance radiating from your family enveloped her, making her feel like part of a loving community. she couldn't help but feel grateful for your thoughtfulness in inviting her over.

the dining table was adorned with a feast of flavors and colors, and the room buzzed with laughter and conversation. as everyone settled into their seats, karina found herself seated beside you, her presence a source of both comfort and excitement.

throughout the meal, karina couldn't resist the subtle temptation to flirt with you. her fingers would gently brush against yours, sending an electric jolt through your body. a mischievous sparkle danced in her eyes as she playfully kicked your legs under the table, a secret game shared only between the two of you.

the night wore on, as your parents slowly start to leave the table leaving space for you and karina to be together. suprised at how little you parents ate, karina spoke "your mom cooked so much, but she only ate a little? will she be fine" concern plastered on her face.

"old people are like that, well, my mom at least. she enjoys cooking but not eating. don't worry, we can share" you replied as karina took a bite of the samgyeopsal.

with a sly smile, karina leaned in closer, her voice a soft murmur that only you could hear. "you know," she whispered, her tone teasing, "if food tastes better when shared, then imagine how amazing it would be to share a kiss."

her words caught you off guard, causing your heart to race and your cheeks to flush. flustered, you stammered for a response, searching for words that could match her audacity. "oh my god shut up, just eat your food" you blushed.

as the conversation flowed, karina continued her flirty banter, peppering the air with playful remarks and witty comebacks. her words danced on the edge of seduction, a tantalizing invitation to a world of possibilities.

as the night wore on, the time came for everyone to retire to their rooms. due to the your house not having an extra empty room, there was an arrangement for karina to share a bed with you. the thought of such proximity brought a subtle blush to her cheeks, and she couldn't help but feel a mixture of excitement and awkwardness.

in the dimly lit bedroom, you hesitated for a moment before breaking the silence. "um, jimin-ah, i can sleep on the floor if you're more comfortable," you offered, your voice laced with a hint of shyness.

her gaze met yours, her heart skipping a beat. she shook her head gently, a soft smile gracing her lips. "no, it's okay. we can share the bed"

the words hung in the air, accompanied by a fleeting nostalgia that made your heart skip a beat. in the comfort of each other's presence, you settled into the bed, finding a delicate balance between closeness and respect for personal boundaries.

with tentative steps, you both climbed into bed, trying to find a comfortable position without encroaching on each other's personal space. the silence in the room felt deafening, amplifying the subtle tension that lingered between you.

karina shifted slightly, trying to find a suitable position. "oops, sorry," she muttered as her elbow brushed against yours, causing a ripple of awkwardness to wash over you.

"it's okay," you replied, your voice barely above a whisper. "we're just trying to fit in this limited space, after all."

"it won't be a problem if we cuddle" a soft giggle escaped karina's lips, breaking the tension ever so slightly. you let out a chuckle, staring at the wall as karina lay down flat on her back, the same position as you.

"go to sleep, jimin" you said, slightly above whisper as karina hummed. she closes her eyes and drifts off to sleep. the moon cast its soft, silver light into the room, creating a tranquil ambiance as you and karina peacefully slumbered.

as the night progressed, a gentle shift in karina's position stirred you from your dreams. with eyes still heavy with sleep, you felt a warm and delicate touch on your hand. startled, you turned to look and discovered karina, her eyes closed and a serene expression gracing her features. timidly, she had reached out and taken hold of your hand in her sleep.

a smile tugged at the corners of your lips as you intertwined your fingers with hers, allowing the connection to deepen. it was a silent acknowledgment of the bond you shared, even in the depths of slumber. you couldn't help but feel a surge of tenderness for karina. the way her hand fit perfectly in yours, the soft warmth it brought to your heart, and the trust she exhibited even in her unconscious state all spoke volumes.

with gentle caution, you leaned closer, planting a delicate kiss on the back of her hand. it was a silent gesture of appreciation and a reassurance that you were there, watching over her even as she wandered through the realms of dreams.

a waiter approached your table, offering menus and taking your drink orders. as he left, a brief moment of respite settled between you and karina, granting you a temporary reprieve from the awkwardness that engulfed you.

you found solace in the familiar surroundings, the comforting aroma of food wafting through the air. you mustered the courage to look at karina, studying her features for any sign of the person you used to know. her eyes held a hint of vulnerability, mirroring your own.

with a deep breath, you ventured further. "how have you been?" you asked, your voice trembling slightly. it was a simple question, yet it held the weight of years of separation and unanswered inquiries.

karina's lips quivered as she replied, "i've had my ups and downs, like everyone else, i suppose." her voice carried a trace of melancholy, betraying the complexity of her emotions.

you nodded, not knowing how to react. "how's the other girls? minjeong, aeri and ning?" your voice laced with curiosity. karina's eyes faltered ever so slightly, a subtle shadow crossing her features.

she hesitated for a moment before responding, her voice tinged with a touch of sadness. "they're doing well," she replied, her words carrying a hint of hurt at how you were quick to ask about her group mates, not really interested in how she was doing. she expected you to ask her questions about herself, but it died down earlier than what she had expected.

karina had always been a passionate and fiercely loyal individual, and with that came a tendency to feel jealousy more intensely than others. whenever you found yourself getting close to other members of her group, she couldn't help but feel a pang of envy deep within her heart. her jealousy wasn't born out of insecurity, but rather from a place of protectiveness and a desire to be the one who held a special place in your life.

ECHOES OF VULNERABILITY

on a warm summernight, with a warm smile on her face, karina introduced you to her friends aeri, minjeong, and ningning. it was awkward for you to be friends with them at first but as the conversation flowed, you discovered that you shared a special connection with aeri, as both of you had spent a significant part of your lives in japan and attended the same international school, albeit with a small age difference. making her your senior by two batch.

the discovery sparked an immediate bond, and you found yourselves spending more and more time together. the interaction you shared between aeri had made karina uncomfortable for a couple of days.

especially how the two of you effortlessly switching to speaking in korean then japanese, and english. relishing the familiarity of your shared language. this situation have been happening a couple of times in the short span of a week since you met aeri.

one day, as the five of you gathered in the practice room, the energy was palpable. karina sat quietly, observing the lively exchange between you and aeri. caught up in the moment, you didn't notice the subtle change in karina's expression. her smile faded, and a slight cloud of unease settled over her features.

she cant help but feel a growing sense of distance, as though a barrier had formed between her and the camaraderie you now shared with aeri.

her heart sank as she struggled to follow the conversation unfolding in a language she couldn't understand. it seemed as though a wall had been erected, separating her from the dynamic connection she once shared with you. her discomfort heightened, and a tinge of loneliness crept into her thoughts.

as aeri and the others left the practice room for some late night snack, the tense atmosphere lingered, and you found yourself growing increasingly frustrated with karina's persistent avoidance.

every attempt you made to engage her in conversation or seek her attention seemed to be met with indifference, and the tension between you began to escalate.

unable to contain your mounting frustration any longer, you finally snapped, your voice laced with anger and hurt. "jimin, i can't take this anymore, ever since i started getting close to your members, you've completely shut me out. what are you trying to do?"

karina's eyes flashed with a mix of anger and hurt, and her voice rose to match the intensity of the moment. "don't act like you're innocent in all of this! you've been pushing me away, getting closer to them and leaving me behind. it feels like i don't matter to you anymore!"

the room seemed to shrink as the heated exchange unfolded, both of you unleashing pent-up emotions that had been festering beneath the surface. the air crackled with tension as accusations and frustrations hung in the air.

"me? pushing you away? i haven't pushed you away, jimin. i've simply been forming connections with your members. it doesn't mean i care any less about you!" you retorted, your voice laced with exasperation.

karina's eyes welled up with tears, her voice trembling as she shot back, "but it feels like you do! it feels like i've become nothing more than a secondary option to you. i thought we were closer than this! it's just... i've been feeling left out, like i'm losing my place. i want to be a part of your world too, not just someone you push aside when others come around"

your anger began to give way to a pang of guilt as you took in karina's vulnerable state. the realization of how your actions had hurt her washed over you, and you softened your tone, desperately wanting to bridge the growing divide.

"hey, i'm sorry. i didn't mean to make you feel that way. i never intended to push you aside. you're important to me, and i never wanted you to doubt that," you said, your voice now filled with remorse.

karina's tearful eyes met yours, her voice wavering with a mix of sadness and frustration. "then show me, because right now, it doesn't feel that way. it feels like i'm losing you, like i'm just an afterthought in your life."

the weight of her words hit you, and you realized the gravity of the situation. this argument was a turning point, a crossroads that could either deepen the rift between you or pave the way for reconciliation.

as the tension between you and karina slowly dissipated, leaving behind an air of vulnerability and longing, you found yourself unable to bear seeing her in tears. with a surge of emotion and a desire to prove the depth of your feelings, you made a bold move.

closing the distance between you, you gently cupped karina's tear-stained face with your hands, your touch tender and comforting. her watery eyes met yours, filled with a mix of hope and uncertainty.

in that moment, words seemed inadequate to express the depths of your emotions, so instead, you let your actions speak. leaning in slowly, your heart pounding with both nervousness and determination, you pressed your lips against hers in a gentle, reassuring kiss.

time seemed to stand still as your lips met, conveying a depth of emotion that words could never capture. it was a tender, intimate moment filled with a mixture of comfort, passion, and the yearning to heal the wounds that had threatened to tear you apart.

as the kiss lingered, you poured your heart into it, hoping to convey the sincerity of your feelings. your lips moved in sync with karina's, a silent promise to be there for her, to mend what had been broken, and to prove that she was more than just an afterthought in your life.

gradually, the intensity of the kiss began to subside, but the connection between you remained, an unspoken understanding that you were both willing to fight for your relationship.

pulling back ever so slightly, you gazed into karina's eyes, their once teary appearance now softened and filled with a mix of surprise and longing. a tender smile played on your lips as you whispered, "jimin-ah, i care about you. more than anything in this world. i love you. i know the timing is stupid and everything but— i really do jimin"

karina, still caught in the embrace of the moment, nodded, her voice barely a whisper. "i love you too, y/n, i love you more than anyone"

leaning in, you pressed a gentle kiss against karina's forehead, a silent promise to be there for her through the highs and lows that lay ahead. together, you embarked on a new chapter, driven by the realization that love had the power to overcome obstacles and bring you closer than ever before.

sitting across from each other in the restaurant, the air between you and karina grew heavy with unresolved emotions. the flickering candle on the table seemed to cast shadows on the tension that hung in the air. as you observed a tear rolling down karina's cheek.

"why are you tearing up?" you asked, your voice laced with a hint of coldness. your gaze fixed on her, waiting for an explanation.

karina's voice trembled as she tried to speak through her tears. "my bad. i just... i didn't know i missed you this much," she confessed, her vulnerability laid bare before you.

"you missed me.." you repeated, feeling the bitterness grow on you. you were by her side all the time, back then. it reminded you of the time where you would constantly text her about how you missed her, it was a bittersweet era of you relationship.

MAKE UPS

it's been exactly a week since the debut of aespa, and you had called karina asking her to come down to the park for a while. the both of you last met each other around three weeks ago, and though calls and text messages weren't left unnoticed, being in each other's embrace is the thing both of you wanted the most right now.

the sun was deep asleep, painting the sky with dark blue and sprinkles of stars in the sky. karina tied her hair up in a messy bun, getting ready to meet you.

as karina carefully tiptoed towards the door, hoping to leave her dorm unnoticed, she was suddenly greeted by an unexpected sight. standing in the living room were her fellow group members, aeri, minjeong, and ningning. caught off guard, she froze for a moment, trying to find the right words.

"where are you going, jimin unnie?" ningning inquired, her eyes curious and bright.

karina's mind raced as she searched for a plausible response. "uh... somewhere!" she blurted out, a hint of nervousness lacing her voice. she hoped her brief and evasive answer would satisfy their curiosity.

aeri tilted her head, a playful smile dancing on her lips. "somewhere? well, that's a mysterious answer. can we come too?"

karina's heart skipped a beat, her mind racing to come up with a convincing explanation. "oh, it's nothing special. just... um, running a small errand. i'll be back before you know it, byeee" she replied, trying to keep her tone light and nonchalant.

as karina bid her members a quick goodbye and slipped out the door, she couldn't help but feel a mixture of excitement and guilt. she knew she would have to explain herself eventually, but in that moment, she craved the intimacy and connection she would find with you. with determination in her steps, she made her way to the park, where destiny awaited.

as she arrived at the designated spot, her eyes met yours, and a rush of emotions enveloped her. the joy of seeing you, combined with the anticipation of her big day, welled up inside her. without a word, you stepped closer, and the moment your lips met, time seemed to stand still. it was a sweet, longing kiss that spoke volumes of your love and support for her journey.

karina's eyes glistened with tears as she pulled away from the kiss, her voice barely a whisper. "did you miss me as much as i missed you?"

you chuckled softly, feeling a mix of relief and excitement at her presence. "more than you can imagine," you replied, your tone filled with affection.

karina tilted her head, a mischievous glimmer in her eyes. "oh really? and here i thought i was the one missing you like crazy. looks like we're in the same boat."

you grinned, karina took a step closer to you. "well, maybe we should find a way to make up for all that lost time then."

her smile turned into a sly smirk as she leaned in, her voice teasing. "and, i have a few ideas in mind. but first, what do you have there?"

you held up the cake you had baked, a proud grin on your face. "it's a little something i made for you. thought it would be a sweet way to celebrate your early debut."

karina's eyes widened in surprise, and a tear welled up in the corner of her eye. "you made this for me? that's so.. incredibly sweet."

as she cupped your cheeks tenderly, her expression softened. however, her touch caused her to recoil slightly, her brows furrowing with concern. "wait a minute... you're burning up! and your eyes... you have bags under them. have you been taking care of yourself?"

you let out a sheepish laugh, realizing how much you had neglected your own well-being. "i guess i've been so caught up in everything that i forgot to take care of myself. but seeing you here, it's like a breath of fresh air."

karina's eyes softened as she gently wiped away a tear from her cheek. "you've always been the one taking care of me, making sure i'm alright. but remember, you deserve care and love too. let me take care of you, even just for a little while."

you were struck by her sincerity and the depth of her care. in that moment, you realized how fortunate you were to have her by your side. with a gentle smile, she leaned in, about to capture your lips into a tender kiss but you backed off a step.

"no, i'm sick.." you flashed a gentle smile making the latter pout. "well, what can i do to make it up to you?"

karina's voice was filled with sincerity as she asked, "what can i do to make it up to you?" her eyes searched yours, longing for a way to mend the rift between you.

in that moment, your mind drifted back to a few hours ago, the scene vivid in your memory. it was your birthday celebration, and everyone had gathered to commemorate the occasion. your label mates, friends, and even aeri, minjeong, and ningning were all present, their laughter and cheerful voices filling the room.

throuout the festivities, you couldn't help but steal glances at your phone, hoping for a message or a notification that would signal your girlfriend's arrival. each passing minute deepened the disappointment in your heart, but you held onto a glimmer of hope, praying that she would show up, even if it meant being fashionably late.

as the evening progressed, your excitement waned, replaced by a lingering sense of emptiness. the room was filled with joy and celebration, but a part of you longed for her presence, for that simple yet meaningful gesture of showing up for your special day.

as the birthday celebration continued, your friend sungchan couldn't help but voice his frustration at karina's absence. he leaned in close, a hint of irritation evident in his tone. "is she still not here?" he muttered, unable to contain his thoughts any longer. "geeze karina, are you out with someone or what? how can you forget such an important day?"

your patience wore thin, and a surge of protectiveness washed over you. you turned to sungchan, your voice sharp as you defended karina. "don't say that!" you snapped, the words laced with a mixture of frustration and protectiveness. "she's... busy. keep her name out of your mouth if you're just going to assume things!"

sungchan flinched at your sudden outburst, his eyes widening in surprise. he quickly realized his mistake and took a step back, his voice filled with remorse. "i'm sorry, i didn't mean to offend you," he stammered, his tone apologetic. "i'm really sorry."

you took a deep breath, the tension in your shoulders slowly easing. despite your hurt feelings, you understood that sungchan's intentions weren't ill, "just, leave me alone" you sighed.

the night went on, the hype of the celebration slowly dhing down as the last guest bid their farewell and the house gradually emptied, you found yourself sitting alone in the dining room. the atmosphere was heavy with a mix of sadness, emptiness, and underlying anger. the weight of the unfulfilled expectations and the hurt you had been carrying weighed heavily on your heart.

minutes turned into an eternity, and just when you thought you were destined to be alone in your turmoil, there was a sudden knock on the front door. startled, you rose from your seat and made your way to the entrance, uncertainty swirling within you. as you opened the door, there stood karina, her eyes reflecting a mixture of anxiety and remorse.

"hey," karina said softly, her voice tinged with hesitation. "can i come in?"

you stepped aside, allowing her to enter, and closed the door behind her. the room was filled with an uneasy tension as you faced each other, emotions simmering just beneath the surface. finally, you mustered the strength to speak, your voice laced with a hint of disappointment.

"do you have any idea what today is?" you asked, your words carefully measured. "it's my birthday. i had hoped you would remember." you scoffed

karina's eyes gloomed, her features contorting with guilt. "i know," she whispered, her voice trembling. "i completely forgot and made a promise with a friend. i'm so sorry."

anger surged within you, fueled by the pain of being forgotten on such a significant day. "this isn't the first time, jimin," you retorted, your voice tinged with bitterness. "you forgot my debut too. not a single message, not a single word of congratulations. it hurt, jimin. it still hurts."

karina's defenses went up, her face contorting with defensiveness. "i didn't mean to forget," she pleaded, her voice laced with desperation. "things have been so hectic with our comeback and schedules. i never intended to hurt you. i just... i didn't realize the impact it would have."

your anger mingled with frustration, tears brimming in your eyes. "i was busy on all of your important days too, but i still made time for you, jimin. but it's not just about today," you continued, your voice wavering. "it's about the lack of effort, the lack of consideration. i feel like i'm constantly pushed aside, like i'm not a priority."

karina's expression softened, her eyes filled with regret. "i never wanted you to feel that way," she whispered, her voice filled with genuine remorse. "i love you, and i never intended to make you feel unimportant. i'm sorry"

as the words hung heavy in the air, the tension escalated, pushing you both to the edge of your emotions. tears welled up in your eyes, mirroring the pain that had settled deep within your heart.

"we can't keep living like this, jimin," you choked out, your voice trembling with anguish. "i can't keep pretending that everything is okay when it's not. i need more than just empty apologies and promises. i need you to show me that I matter."

karina's own tears flowed freely, her voice breaking as she tried to defend herself. "i never wanted to make you feel this way," she sobbed, her words barely audible through her tears.

you scoffed as you struggled to hold back the flood of emotions. "actions speak louder than words, jimin," you whispered, your voice filled with raw vulnerability. "and right now, all i see are actions that scream indifference. it hurts. it hurts so much."

her voice wavered as she reached out to you, her fingers trembling. "no, y/n. please, don't cry," she pleaded, her voice laced with desperation. "i never wanted to make you cry. i love you, and i'm sorry for hurting you."

"what can i do to make it up for you?" her eyes searched yours, longing for a way to mend the rift between you.

"what can i do to make it up for you?" she asked, her voice tinged with a hint of desperation.

those words, so familiar, rang in your ears like a broken record. it was a phrase you had heard from her countless times before, yet actions to back them up were scarce. the frustration that had been building within you threatened to overflow.

a flicker of annoyance flashed across your face, and you couldn't help but let out a bitter smile. "you've asked me that so many times, jimin" karina's face fell, her eyes betraying a mix of guilt and hurt.

"you left me. you left me when we were deeply in love, what makes you think you can treat me right when there's wound in my heart?" you asked.

"do you remember? back in december, the night you left me?" you looked up to karina, she nodded her head weakly, pursing her lips together as a rush of guilt filled her heart as she played back what had happened that night.

"you made me suffer, ever since that night. and an easy 'how can i make it up for you' wont help, jimin. i'm sorry but please-" you run your fingers throughout your hair, holding back tears as the memories replayed.

BACK TO DECEMBER

the room was cloaked in an eerie silence as you sat on the edge of your bed, staring into the emptiness before you. days had turned into weeks, and karina's absence weighed heavily on your heart. four days had passed since she last contacted you, leaving you in a state of uncertainty and longing for any news about her well-being.

in the past, you were the one she confided in, the one who knew every detail of her life. but now, you found yourself relying on snippets of information from her fans, a distant and impersonal connection that paled in comparison to the intimacy you once shared. it was a bitter pill to swallow, realizing that you had become the last to know about the significant moments in her life.

meanwhile, the world had taken notice of aespa's success. their first full album had catapulted them to global fame, gaining recognition and accolades along the way. the news of their invitation to the grammys, the pinnacle of music achievement, reverberated through the industry. their talent and hard work had paid off, culminating in a well-deserved award for Best Pop Singer Group.

as the world celebrated aespa's triumph, you couldn't help but feel a sense of emptiness. while you were genuinely happy for their success, a part of you longed to share in those moments with karina. the void left by her absence grew deeper, magnified by the realization that she had experienced these monumental milestones without you by her side.

a few days later when karina had returned to korea, you decided to meet her. maybe, just maybe this time everything will fall back into place. maybe she was just very busy.

the winter night was bitterly cold, the frigid air biting at your exposed skin as you stood outside of karina's dorm, clutching a bouquet of roses. your heart pounded with a mixture of anticipation and apprehension, hoping that this small gesture would convey the depth of your love for her.

as the door to the dorm swung open, karina appeared, her face a mix of surprise and unease. her eyes fell upon the flowers in your hands, and a flicker of pain crossed her features. without a word, she reached out and pushed the bouquet away, the action feeling like a sharp blow to your chest.

your heart shattered into pieces as the flowers tumbled to the ground, their petals scattering across the cold pavement. the weight of her rejection settled upon you, a crushing realization that things were not as you had hoped.

the silence that followed was suffocating, the unspoken words hanging heavy in the air. you could see the conflict in karina's eyes, the struggle to find the right words, but the damage had already been done.

moments stretched into eternity as you tried to comprehend the sudden shift in your relationship. the love that once seemed unbreakable now felt fragile and fragile. your hands trembled at your sides, aching to reach out to her, to beg for understanding or a chance to make things right.

but the words never came, and the silence grew unbearable. a tear slipped down your cheek, mirroring the pain etched on karina's face. in that brief moment, you knew that something had changed irreparably, and the prospect of losing her felt like a heavy weight upon your soul.

it was in that heartbreaking instant, before the final words were spoken, that you realized the magnitude of the rift that had formed between you. the flowers lay forgotten on the ground, their beauty lost amidst the wreckage of your shattered hopes and dreams.

and as you looked into karina's eyes, searching for a glimmer of the love that once burned brightly between you, you knew that this painful chapter was coming to an end.

the winter night was bitterly cold, the frigid air biting at your exposed skin as you stood outside of karina's dorm. a heaviness settled upon your heart, knowing that this conversation could change everything. you braced yourself for the difficult words that were about to be spoken.

karina stepped out of the dorm, her expression guarded and distant. her eyes met yours, but they lacked the warmth and tenderness you had grown accustomed to. the weight of her decision hung in the air, an unspoken truth waiting to be unveiled.

taking a deep breath, karina spoke, her voice filled with a mix of determination and sadness. "y/n, we should stop seeing each other." she said, her words cutting through the cold night air.

your heart clenched at her declaration, a surge of denial rising within you. you couldn't fathom a life without her, and you couldn't accept that this was the end. though you are very aware about how she's ruining you "no," you replied, your voice trembling with desperation. "no, jimin. we can work through this. we can find a way to make it work."

karina's features hardened, her resolve unwavering. "it's not that simple," she retorted, her voice laced with frustration. "this isn't just about schedules or busy lives. there's something bigger at play here, something that we can't ignore."

you reached out a trembling hand, hoping to bridge the growing divide between you. "please, let's not make any rash decisions," you pleaded, your voice filled with a mix of longing and pain. "we can wait for a better time, a time when your schedule isn't so hectic. we can rebuild what we have."

karina's eyes met yours, but they held a coldness you had never seen before. "you don't understand," she snapped, her words sharp and cutting. "this isn't about schedules or a break. it's about us, about what we've become. and i can't continue like this."

your heart sank as her words pierced through you. the realization that she was determined to end the relationship without even a hint of remorse or apology crushed you. the person you loved seemed so far away, replaced by this version of karina that you didn't recognize.

tears welled up in your eyes as you took a step back, the pain too overwhelming to bear. "how can you say that?" you whispered, your voice cracking with emotion. "after everything we've been through, all the love we shared... for three years.. jimin how can you just push me away like this, without even a second thought?"

karina's gaze faltered for a brief moment, a flicker of pain crossing her face. but she quickly composed herself, her tone unyielding. "it's for the best," she replied, her voice devoid of the warmth and tenderness that once defined it. "we both deserve to find happiness, even if it means being apart."

the weight of her words settled upon you, a crushing blow to your heart. you felt your world crumbling around you, the hope of rebuilding what you once had slipping through your fingers. with a heavy sigh, you realized that karina's mind was made up, and there was nothing you could do to change it.

you were left with shattered dreams and a heart that still longed for the love that had slipped away, with no apology or promise of a future reconciliation.

the winter night hung heavy with an unspoken goodbye, the silence between you and karina echoing with the weight of shattered hearts. as you nodded in resignation, a hollow ache settled in the depths of her being. the tears that threatened to spill over blurred her vision, but she refused to let them fall.

in that fleeting moment, karina felt her heart shatter into a thousand pieces. the sound of her own heartbeat seemed to drown out the world around her as she watched you turn away, your retreating figure growing smaller with each step. she wanted to reach out, to hold onto you and tell you everything was a stupid prank, but she knew deep down that it would only be a selfish act.

the turmoil within her intensified, tearing at her soul as she fought against the overwhelming urge to chase after you. the desire to cling to the familiar, to salvage what was left of your connection, threatened to consume her. but she knew that it would only prolong the pain, and she couldn't bear to be the cause of your further suffering.

with a heavy heart, karina clenched her fists, her nails digging into her palms. as much as she wanted to call out to you, to beg you to stay, she knew that it was time to let go. it was a painful realization, accepting that sometimes love wasn't enough to sustain a relationship.

as you disappeared into the night, karina fought back the tears that threatened to spill over. the ache in her chest was a constant reminder of what she had lost, of the love that slipped through her fingers. but deep down, she knew that she had made the right choice, even if it meant sacrificing her own happiness.

with a final, bittersweet glance in your direction, karina turned away, her footsteps heavy with the weight of her decision. the emptiness that enveloped her seemed to grow with each passing moment, a reminder of the void left behind by your absence.

in the quiet solitude of that winter night, karina's heart yearned for one last glimpse of your face, one last chance to hold onto the love that had once been. but she knew that sometimes, love meant letting go, even when it tore her apart inside.

and as she slowly close the door, her hand faltered, her every fiber aching to turn open the door back again and run into your arms. but with a trembling resolve, she continued on, knowing that it was time to face the pain and the emptiness that awaited her.

the weight of nostalgia and longing permeated the air as karina's voice trembled with emotion. "do you remember the first time we met in that small practice room?" she whispered, her eyes welling up with tears. "you taught me how to play the guitar, it was a moment that changed my life."

a wistful smile danced on her lips as she continued, "and i remember the day i met your parents. they welcomed me with open arms, treating me like their own daughter. we laughed, we shared stories, and for a moment, i felt like i had found my place in the world."

a single tear trickled down her cheek, as she reached out, almost instinctively, as if trying to grasp onto those cherished memories. "i miss those times, when everything felt so simple and full of promise. i miss the warmth of your love, the way we used to be, before everything fell apart."

her voice cracked with raw emotion, and her hands trembled as she spoke. "i want to go back to those moments, to relive the love we once had. but i know it's selfish of me to ask for that. i know i can't simply erase the pain i caused, the time we lost."

tears streamed down your face as you listened, your heart torn between the love you still held and the painful reality that lay before you. the weight of her words sank deep into your soul, stirring a whirlwind of emotions.

"and, i am very sorry y/n" she whispered, her voice filled with a mix of sorrow and longing. her tears falling freely now, mingling with the memories of a love that seemed both distant and achingly close. "i'm sorry i made you cry every night, i'm sorry i neglected, i'm sorry i left you alone when you needed me the most. i'm sorry i approached you first, only to leave you in despair."

"i regret being popular," karina's voice quivered with a mix of anguish and regret. her eyes bore into yours, pleading for understanding. "the more recognition i gained, the busier i became. i thought success would bring happiness, but it only tore us apart."

her words hung heavy in the air, echoing with a sense of sorrow and longing. "i used to blame everything on my busy schedule, on the demands of my career. but deep down, i know it was my own choices that led us to this point. i let the allure of fame cloud my judgment, and now i'm left with the emptiness of what could have been."

her voice wavered as she continued, her remorse palpable. "i miss the simplicity of our love, the moments of quiet togetherness. i regret prioritizing everything else over the one thing that truly mattered – our relationship."

tears welled up in her eyes as she reached out, her hand trembling in the space between you. "please understand, it wasn't intentional. i didn't mean for things to turn out this way. i just... i lost sight of what truly mattered. and now i'm left with this void, this ache in my heart that refuses to fade."

you felt a mix of pain and compassion as you listened to her heartfelt confession. the weight of her regret seeped into your own heart, tugging at the remnants of love that still lingered within you.

you simply nodded, not muttering a word. your eyes shifted from her pretty face, to the sunset behind her. the sunset was the cue to the end of your meet up with karina.

as you gathered your belongings and prepared to leave, a heavy silence hung in the air, thick with unspoken emotions. karina watched you quietly, her eyes filled with a mix of sadness and longing. she could sense that this was the moment where the ties that bound you together would be severed, perhaps forever.

as you adjusted your cap and took a step forward, karina's hand reached out, gently grasping your wrist. her touch was soft, tender, as if she wanted to hold onto you just a little longer. "are there any chance we could meet and talk again?" she asked, her voice filled with a flicker of hope.

you met her gaze, the weight of your decision etched on your face. with a heavy heart, you shook your head slowly, a mix of regret and finality in your eyes. you wanted this to be the last time, the final chapter in a story that had once held so much promise.

"i don't think it's possible," you replied, your voice barely above a whisper. karina's grip on your wrist tightened briefly, as if she didn't want to let go. her eyes brimmed with unshed tears, and she nodded, understanding the weight of your words. it was a painful acceptance, a recognition that the love you once shared had transformed into something different, something that couldn't be easily repaired.

with a deep breath, you gently extricated your wrist from her grasp, taking a step back. the distance between you grew, a physical representation of the emotional chasm that now lay between your hearts. it was a farewell that held the weight of a thousand unspoken words, a bittersweet acknowledgment of what could no longer be.

as you walked away, each step filled with a mix of sadness and determination, you couldn't help but steal one last glance at karina. her expression was a reflection of your own pain, a longing for a different outcome, for a love that could withstand the test of time.

but as you turned your gaze forward, the sound of her whispered plea echoed in your mind, "are there any chance we could meet and talk again?" it was a question that hung in the air, unanswered and filled with hope, but you knew deep down that this was the final goodbye.

with a heavy heart and a silent prayer for both of your futures, you continued your journey, hoping that this painful separation would pave the way for healing and new beginnings.

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