#like I said this is literally just the exposition of the first chapter but there's gonna be a lot of fun things in this one | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

adelheidvonschicksal · 2 months

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⋆｡°✩ Do Roommates Sleep Together?

“We’d be roommates, much better than neighbors,” you manage to explain, proud when you hold firm, but the delicate foundation you built cracks when his laugh highlights the room. You could nearly melt. “Do roommates sleep together too?”

Synopsis: Your relationship with Xavier is unconventional, skipping and trampling on the many proper steps society deems appropriate. It should take months to form the trust needed to sleep together, and it should take years for you to ask him to move in with you.

Yet, here you are, with more courage to ask him to live with you than to tell him you’re in love with him.

Content Warning: fluff, suggestive dialogue, pining, literal sleeping together, a lot of internal exposition, mild angst, hurt/comfort, acquaintances to friends to lovers, implied soulmate tomfoolery to justify the fast burn, small references to chapter 4 main story, Heartstring Symphony, Nighttime Stroll, Shooting Stars Myth, and Unit 602's Representative Phone Call, Xavier sucks at following the non-interference policy (he tried his best), female reader, 6.5k words, safe for work

A/N: First section before Warm Wishes/Dreams within Reach tender moments and second section after Close Feelings tender moment to give a better timeframe. This is going to be two parts with the second part NSFW.

“Do you want to hang out at my place?”

Your smile begins to flatten as Xavier stares at you from his doorway. There’s a listless energy radiating from him. It’s intimidating even if there’s no anger behind his hooded gaze, the kind of intimidation where you’re afraid he might not be listening to you or even wants to listen to you.

“This new scary movie came out. Tara was supposed to watch with me, but she had a last-minute thing to take care of,” you explain, watching as he yawns and wipes his eyes. “So, I thought that maybe you’d like to watch with me instead. Or, we can do something else. I got games. Monopoly, Phase 10, Kitty Cards.”

Xavier rubs at the back of his neck, refusing to meet your eye. “Are you sure you want it to be just the two of us?”

There are many things to be said about your relationship with Xavier. You’re work partners, neighbors in the same apartment complex, and you consider him your friend. It’s also true that your friendship is young despite the many hours at the arcade together and whatever stories your co-workers like to imagine, making your offer sound more like a date invitation than hanging out. It causes you to go tongue-tied as your innocent mistake blankets you.

“Oh, not in that way! I mean not that it would be a bad thing.” You start to lose your composure when you meet his gaze again. It’s not like you wouldn’t go on a date with him if given the opportunity. He’s tall, soft-spoken, and very handsome. It’s more surprising he doesn't have a girlfriend. “I was thinking it could be a good way to foster friendship between hunters. Yeah, that’s it!”

The truth was that you were looking for something to distract yourself ever since the incident at your grandmother’s house. Tara having to cancel bummed you out more than you wanted to admit, but you didn’t want him to agree because he felt sorry for you.

“I understand,” Xavier cuts in. “I’d be happy to join you…in an hour,” he finishes with another small yawn.

“Great!” you cheer. “See you soon.”

When you make it back to the elevator, you’re taken aback about how happy you are that he agreed. You thought you were simply happy not to have to be alone on your day off, but this was a different kind of satisfaction than when you invited Tara. It was a little strange but you ignored the thought and clicked the button to your floor.

When Xavier arrives, everything goes as planned. You spread out an array of snacks on the table in front of the sofa, which your selection seems to be approved by how quickly he opens the package of chips and hums to himself when he takes a bite.

“This is supposed to be super scary! I read you won’t sleep for days after,” you tell him, grabbing the remote to play the movie.

“For days? Sounds awful,” Xavier mentions between bites, making you chuckle.

“If you get scared, you always have me to protect you.”

“I’m more worried about you than me,” he mouths off. “You always look like a statue when I tell you scary stories.”

“Fake movies and stories based on real places are different!”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” he agrees on the surface. You’re not sure how you only make friends with people who love to tease you, but you make no mention of it as the movie finally reaches its opening sequence.

It doesn’t take long for you to realize this movie’s fear factor was greatly over exaggerated. There were monsters, sure, but also one too many jump scares and dark scenes that made it hard to tell what was happening. Fighting wanderers for a living did leave you a bit desensitized as well, you guess.

As you reach to fill in your boredom with more chips, you can’t help but notice how Xavier looks like he’s about to give out any second. His eyes are drooping and his head bobbing to the side. You lose count of how many times he forces his limp body straight and strains to watch the movie playing on the screen, one agonizingly slow blink at a time.

“I’m fine,” he says before you can bring up how tired he looks.

“It’s not a big deal, Xavier. This movie is pretty boring, so if you wanna call it a night, it wouldn’t hurt my feelings.” You don’t want him to leave yet but you don't want to keep him up either. Sighing, you’re frustrated the movie isn’t as exciting as you thought it would be, and it’s difficult to fight the disappointment from showing on your face.

And, well, Xavier…

“It’s alright. It’s honestly not bad, so—”

Xavier doesn’t even finish his sentence before his head hangs over. In hindsight, you start to realize that you must have woken him up earlier, explaining his prior passiveness.

You always wondered what he did on the days he wasn’t working. It should’ve been apparent to you that he spends most of his free time sleeping. No wonder his apartment was always so quiet during the day. You’re thankful he wasn’t actually annoyed at you earlier but guilty for interrupting his rest and decide to grab him a blanket.

You don’t notice him tilting to the side before you have the chance to get up. It’s quick after that. Without warning, he falls into you, his head brushing the side of your shoulder before he collapses on top of your lap.

The situation takes you by surprise, and the world churns to a slow stop. The sounds from the television fade into the background in favor of your heartbeat becoming the thing you’re most aware of when it registers that Xavier, a man you recently can call a friend, has fallen asleep in your lap. You have no idea what to do in a situation like this. It isn’t on purpose, so there’s no need to blow up, but you can’t allow this to continue.

So, you choose to wake him up.

“Xavier,” you call and rock his shoulder. You call his name again, a third time, and finally give up when he doesn’t budge by the fourth. “Would it be too mean to roll him off?” you wonder, grimacing as you imagine him hitting the floor. It would definitely be too mean.

Sighing, you gaze at his face nuzzled too comfortably against your thighs. Xavier looks so incredibly soft like this, bundled in an oversized Blanchi hoodie. It isn’t anything you’re not used to seeing him in. However, this is different. With his hair strewn across his temple and his face so at ease, it reminds you of a big fluffy bunny flopped over for an evening nap. Just like a cuddly bunny, you can’t resist petting him, brushing your fingers across his bangs to fix them. Your heart flutters as you confirm his hair is incredibly soft and his pale eyelashes longer than you ever noticed.

Not able to restrain yourself, you gently poke his cheek, marveling when it’s much chubbier than you imagined. It causes him to moan, his eyes twitching from the intrusion.

“Mm…what?” he groans out.

Swiftly, you pull your hand away, frightened he might have caught you.

“I wasn’t doing anything,” you stammer out, not the best of excuses; but in your defense, he caught you off-guard by waking up from something so small. When he doesn’t respond again, you quickly realize he’s still asleep. “Oh, he sleep talks!”

A mischievous wave washes over you from the new piece of information you acquired. Teasingly, you poke his cheek again, giggling when he shifts to hide his eyes from the light.

“Xavier, I have a question to ask you.” You slide your fingertips along his bangs once more. “Be honest. Are you Lumiere?”

Patiently, you wait for a response. However, nothing comes after several seconds. Just when you’re about to give up hope, you hear him muttering. You lean your head closer, hoping to hear him better.

“Red…” he mumbles.

You repeat after him. “Red?”

“Red…extra spicy.”

You blink at him, knitting your brows. “Extra spicy?”

Oh. The hot pot restaurant.

“Dreaming about food? That tracks.” You shrug. It was worth a shot. “Fine, keep your secrets.”

Choosing to leave him be, you’re about to sit back and continue the movie except you are interrupted by him mumbling again. This time, he whispers your name quietly under his breath causing your undivided attention to fall on him.

“Yes?” you ask.

Xavier sighs softly, peacefully.

“Come home…with me…”

There must be a world record for how fast someone can heat up, and you must have broken it. It’s like someone threw you directly into boiling oil and left you to burn in it. There’s no way you heard him correctly.

Did Xavier really ask you to come home…with him? Is he dreaming about you? If so, in what kind of dream? And why?

These are the questions stumping you. Sure, you consider him your friend, but when did he start to see you as someone close to him?

The more important question is why aren’t you doing anything about it? You aren’t angry about him whispering your name in his sleep nor offended, and it didn’t feel out of place to be close to him, like this, with his head resting in your lap and your hand in his hair. The moment becomes nicer and nicer—treasured—the more times you run it through your head, familiar even, like déjà vu.

There are too many variables for your brain to piece it all together in such a short amount of time. Praying for the tempest battering your emotional insides to reside, you resign yourself to your fate, allowing him to have his peace while your mind completely focuses on the words slipping from his dreams.

When Xavier begins to stir hours later, your movie is long finished, credits rolling as some dramatic music plays in the background. His eyes tighten then relax before he finally opens them, greeting you with hazy blue. He lifts himself into a stretch then rubs his eyes with his wrist. When he finally adjusts to his surroundings, he looks at you with an apologetic sulk.

“Did I…fall asleep on you?” he asks, grogginess still riding his voice.

“Literally or figuratively?” you ask as a joke, but it doesn’t seem to comfort him. Shaking your head, you try to ease the tension—the one known by him and the tension inside of yourself—by laughing. “It was both.”

Xavier blinks a few times, turns his head to the screen to see the credits rolling, and snaps his eyes back on you questioningly. “And you let me for two hours?”

“You looked really tired,” you explain, ignoring how hot your cheeks start to get. You couldn’t tell him you got distracted by his cute face. “I didn’t want to move and wake you.”

“I don’t wake that easily,” he states, proudly even. You almost tell him how well everyone knows he can sleep through a typhoon, but it’s drowned underneath the softness of his smile. “But I appreciate the sentiment.”

The look he gives you is so tender, like looking at a fond memory. It brings back the fluttering knots in your stomach from before as you imagine what could be the true reason behind that gaze. What could he possibly be thinking in his waking moments that would make him dream about you?

“Xavier, do you know you talk in your sleep?” The confused and panicked, deer caught in headlights expression, he gives causes you to fidget with your fingers and drop your gaze to your lap where they lay.

His face tinges slightly. “Nothing too embarrassing I hope.”

You bite your bottom lip as his face reddens. He looks so sweetly shy for once, and you’re starting to question if you’re overreacting by confronting him about something as silly as a dream, one that probably didn’t mean much.

“You tried to order food in your sleep!” you tell him with a small laugh, and his shyness melts away.

“I did? What did I get?”

“Red sauce. Extra Spicy.”

“Then, I guess that’s what I’ll get for dinner tonight,” he remarks. He doesn’t laugh but you can see the amusement reflected in blue eyes, which makes you return his happiness. Yet, the calm moment is short-lived as your mind becomes overwhelmed again by questions you were too nervous to ask; and a small piece of you, too afraid to know the answer.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, drawing you out of your rampant, clashing thoughts. “You look sick.”

“I do?”

He nods, his expression softening.

”Are you still thinking about everything?" he pauses, his worry becoming more visible as he looks at you. "It must be difficult.” Your head blanks at his words. You weren’t aware Xavier gave you enough attention to notice your mood was different. You thought you did okay coming to terms with everything at least while at work to where he wouldn’t notice.

“It’s been a pretty rough week, weeks, actually. I haven’t been sleeping well either,” you agree, struggling to keep your mind anywhere else but there. You’re sure you must look exhausted though. Your under eyes have been darker, the days you could convince Jenna you didn’t need any more leave a bit sluggish, and even Zayne warned you not to lose yourself in grief. It’s easier said than done.

What you don’t expect is for Xavier to grab your wrist and pull you closer.

Xavier normally isn’t the one to draw you, or others for that matter, to him. You’re the one who's been taking the steps to get to know more about him. Offering to help him get his plushie, bargaining with him into becoming your partner, asking him to watch movies with you, while he always seems to keep you a little at arms length, not opening up as much as you wish when sharing stories even when sometimes he looks like he desperately wants to before deciding against it.

Your eyes widen when your nose hits the side of his chest. It's strange to have him be the one pulling, failing to keep his boundaries and also testing them. You don’t want to push him away though. You liked this. Maybe because he was handsome. You hear pretty people can get away with anything, but it feels like more than that. Tara might have been right. Maybe you do have a crush on him but you didn’t care the reason right now when it’s so comforting. You can feel his muscles underneath the thick, warm fabric of his hoodie, and the clothing smells so nice. You can’t help thinking he definitely feels like a bunny too.

“Sleeping is much better with someone.”

“How do you know?” you mumble against him.

“Well, I just had the best sleep I’ve had in days thanks to you. So, allow me to return the favor. I’ll be your pillow this time,” he offers; and surprisingly, your eyes do feel oddly heavy when his soothing voice reaches you. “Relax. I promise not to move for at least two hours, but you can take more if you like.”

”How kind,” you say with a smile, and it feels genuine.

Once again, you get the same familiar sensation from before, that same odd suspicion this has happened once before—or rather it’s supposed to happen? You’re too tired to think about it. You close your eyes to the most blissful dreams you’ve had in weeks.

When you wake up again, it’s not by choice. Xavier is looking down at you, his arm gently wrapped around your shoulders as your head lays on his chest. Your mind is still trapped halfway between being awake and asleep when he begins to talk.

“Welcome back. Did you sleep well?”

You nod. “Real well actually."

Xavier says something else but your tired mind misses the majority of it aside from the fact it’s getting late.

“You can spend the night if you want,” you tell him, allowing sleep to win back over as you try to close your eyes again, but he lifts you away from him, your head swaying with the motion until you find a place to prop your forehead on his shoulder. Your mind echoes with the thought of how soft his hoodie is and how you need one like it as you try to drift back off. Xavier is right. Sleeping with someone else is better, and this closeness you’ve been missing since you lost your family makes you needy.

“It probably wouldn’t be appropriate.”

For some reason, it hurts to think he's back to pushing you away. Even though, it shouldn't.

“But you didn’t get a chance to watch the movie,” you reply, looking for an excuse for him not to leave. “It’s a 48-hour rental, so we can try again.”

Xavier shakes his head, gently poking at your forehead to force your head back. “I’m sure it’ll be twice as boring for you the second time.”

“If we watch it together…”

He meets your foggy gaze apologetically. “I don’t think we’d get very far.”

“We won’t know until we try,” you argue drowsily.

“You don’t look like you’d make it another ten minutes. You belong in bed.”

“I can,” you whimper as the too-bright lights of the overhead fan hit you.

“Doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result,” he murmurs softly, almost teasingly until his tone takes on a seriousness you’re too lethargic to grasp, “Isn’t that insanity?”

“I like to call it determination. Who knows? Maybe this will be the time it works,” you joke. Instead of the smile you expected the look on his face is pensive and a little sad, like you touched a delicate spot. The sudden remorse wakes you up almost immediately. “Xavier?”

When he realizes you’re watching him, the longing in his gaze melts into something you can’t describe, other than the fact it makes your heart climb in your throat.

“Alright,” he agrees, much to your surprise and relief. “Let’s try again…but tomorrow.”

Frowning, you avert your gaze, which makes him pet your head.

“Don’t pout. Tonight, I’ll stay until you fall asleep again.”

“Thank you,” you whisper, moving back to rest your head against his chest.

Maybe your grandma wouldn’t have liked you getting so close to a man you didn’t know much about so quickly. Caleb would at least have a few questions, but your intuition tells you that you’re making the right choice when his arm goes back around you. As you start to drift off, you can swear you hear Xavier laughing at you under his breath. “You’re as impossible to say no to as always.”

You’re not entirely sure what time Xavier went back to his apartment that night, but the next morning you wake in your bed, looking forward to seeing him again. You only hope the sweet and confusing fact that you’re in love with him, of the parts he shows you when you’re alone, stays in your dreams the next night and the many nights following that you share with him.

Over the months, as your relationship with Xavier grows stronger, you find it common to share many things with each other. You play online games, house sit for one another, grow strawberries, and usually go home together after your deepspace trials. Most interestingly, you two take naps together on your days off sometimes, nothing sexual about it despite what Tara and her Tarot cards believe. Sure, there might have been questionable situations, but it was all innocent in the end. It's often a short nap in the afternoon after running errands or having lunch together. It's one of those days that you finally build the courage to bring up what's been on your mind for a while now.

It's late when it happens.

The skyscraper lights begin to glow through your balcony door, blinking out the gentle shimmering of distant stars that managed to cut through the trickling rain earlier in the evening. It’s a little disappointing to lose sight of the stars. They’d become a comfort for you in the time you’ve spent with your friend. You'd never given them much thought before then.

The downpour of rain splattering against the glass panels of the balcony makes the city lights milkier to your sight and the steady dripping of water returns some form of calmness when paired with your neighbor’s breathing next to you.

It’s deep and warm, ushering you towards the world of dreams. Everything about Xavier is like a white noise or a desperately needed hug, which is why you’re curled up at his side in this bed that’s too small for the both of you. You didn’t care, and you suspected Xavier didn’t either.

He didn’t mention the smallness of the bed when you offered to take a nap together nor when your head found the bulge of his bicep to use as your pillow. You didn’t give him time to respond when one of your hands slid across his lean chest, reaching for his always subtle pulse. You find the lazy pattering easy to count while the heat in the sheets become much more apparent when you feel the weight of his touch cradle that very same hand to his chest as if promising every beat to you.

Everything about the situation causes your eyes to flutter with tiredness, but you want to savor this moment a little longer. In case this is all an elaborate dream. You hope to death it’s not. So, you force your eyes to remain open, releasing a soft sigh instead as you cuddle into his arm.

Too soon, you feel Xavier slipping further away from you.

You don’t want him to go yet. More than ever, a force inside you needs him to stay tonight, and you lock your grip on the white knit shirt he wears. You tug him back over to you to close this unbearable distance he made. The few little inches he moved were more than enough to cause your heart to yearn.

“Not yet,” you want to plead but make it a soft demand. “I just found the perfect spot.” You muffle the neediness of your requests into his skin, though your head is afraid that somehow he’ll feel it.

“You always use that excuse.”

“And it’s always true. So, no moving,” you order.

Xavier gives in so wonderfully quickly. Your heart is rapidly firing when the corners of his lips turn into his usual waif-like smile. You fail at hiding your satisfaction at his surrender, pressing more of your weight against him, in a sure sign to him that you have no intention of letting him escape any time soon.

“I take this to mean you’re finally admitting it’s your fault we didn’t do our errands today?”

“I never said that,” you disagree half-heartedly. “And don't pretend like you weren't the one who kept saying he didn't feel like getting up earlier.”

“And now that I do, you won’t let me up. Am I right? Why’s that?”

There’s a beat skipping in your chest when he asks. His tone is light and open, easy to treat as a teasing joke but also firm enough to be taken seriously. That was always your trouble with him. You could never quite tell what he was thinking and when he was serious. Xavier is hard to understand sometimes, sometimes vague and sometimes very straightforward in his words; and lately, you think he’s consistently more hot than cold towards you ever since the first time you've slept together.

You like to think this development is a good thing. People who knew you always said you worked a little too hard, a little too observant, overly energetic despite your fragile heart; but with Xavier, you could relax. Moments like these: when his arm was around you and when his breath was at the side of your neck, the soft words he speaks in his sleep dancing in your mind, were the moments when patrolling for wanderers and every loss in your life from your family to your problematic heart dissipated into the back of your mind for a few hours.

It isn’t an exaggeration to believe his influence must have been the cause, at least when it comes to this. But your influence is seeping into him as well. Given his loner habits when you first met and his frequent disappearing acts, you never pictured him as one to be so sweet and considerate and adorably charming in a way.

However, you can’t tell him that you enjoy…sleeping with him. You have a strong feeling he already knows how much you like him. Or, you’d like to think he does with the way he constantly seems to hint at it. He can make you flustered with a few words and easily leave you guessing if you’re reading too much into his actions or if he’s really that good at baiting you. It could also be a little of column A and a little of column B, which somehow makes you more antsy around him. Like how you feel now when his eyes meet yours.

“It’s supposed to be cold tonight,” you whisper. It’s a poor excuse but the only one you can use to defend yourself. “They say the best way to fend off the chill is body heat. Who better for that task than you, dear partner?”

“Many things, I assume, a portable heater comes to mind,” he says, and you don’t need to look at him to know he’s slyly teasing you behind that naive tone.

“Right, right, those things,” you grumble causing him to laugh as you hide your bashful face against him. “So loud, you know?”

“Are they? Alright, then five more minutes should be doable,” he says in the same low voice that makes your insides boil before his arm lowers to curl around your back. “Although, you’re too comfortable.”

His ears tinge in a lovely rose-colored blush, and you shudder when he finally fails to maintain eye contact and quickly scans your body. It’s slow enough for you to catch though. It makes your chest tight as you watch his quiet inhale and the murky flash of want dye his eyes shades darker before they fade back into clear pools of blue, big and pleading as he studies your face.

“I might end up falling asleep here.”

It’s a warning, to make you think about the meaning of your actions, you think. However, this isn’t the first time this has happened nor the first time you spent a rainy day inside with each other; the kitchen counter lined with empty take-out trays, with his body heat radiating into you while a long-forgotten movie plays in the background.

It’ll continue like that until one of you is finally coherent enough after drowsy naps to try to piece together who fell asleep on whom first or who is making the other too hot. Neither of you wants to accept the fault without a lot of bickering; that’s if Xavier doesn’t fall back asleep mid-debate.

Even this time, you’re not sure who managed to drift off to sleep first earlier but neither of you tried to get up, let alone leave the house, until now. Ah, but it was your idea to use the bed this time, wasn’t it?

But it was his choice to agree.

Even now, he looks very peaceful nestled with you, and he still whispers your name in his sleep sometimes, which reminds you of the first time you slept together and he dreamt about wanting you to come home with him.

When you’re like this, you want the same thing. You want him to come home…with you.

“Xavier?” you ask quietly. You wonder if he’s fallen asleep already like he said. Carefully, you free your hand from his hold, slide it up his chest, and begin to draw smooth circles with your pointer finger once you reach his cheek. There’s a soft response from him, barely a moan but it’s enough to know he’s not out of it yet, at least not completely. “I’ve been thinking.”

The air is suddenly stifling when he engulfs the top of your hand with his own, holding it tighter as if he’s upset that you moved it out of his grasp in the first place, but it’s not the case as he affectionately seals your palm against his cheek.

“About what?”

The look he gives you makes it hard not to stumble over your thoughts like a schoolgirl despite being very much an adult.

“Wouldn’t…” You pause to steady your voice; you have to force yourself to not avoid his gaze, but each small movement makes your throat tighten. There’s no doubt you have his full attention now, at least what little remains of it. “Wouldn’t it be easier if we…move in together?”

You’re not sure where the courage to ask him a question like that comes from when you’re too unsure to even confess or to ask what the two of you even are but you didn’t have this fear of rejection until now.

“How would it be easier?”

“Well,” you start, unsure why you’re surprised that he’d want a reason. “We’re always visiting one another, and you made me your representative at the tenant meetings, so everyone already treats us like we’re a combined unit. It would also save me trips on watering your plants when you’re away or when you want to come over to eat. We could save money. Money that could be spent at the arcade or on more hot pot.”

There’s a quiet atmosphere that makes you too uneasy. The thrumming of rain grows louder in it along with the beating in your chest that’s telling you that this was stupid. Is it possible to be drunk on endorphins? Perhaps that’s what gave you the idea to ask something so foolish; you’d have to get Zayne to examine your empty head and tell you.

But then, Xavier smiles.

“Those are good reasons especially more hot pot, and I’m sure all the plushies would feel better if they shared a home again.”

Your anxiety lessens and you share in his smile. Luckily, you managed not to ruin everything it looks like.

“But.” Slowly, the inklings of self-doubt begin to return. A but. There’s always one of those. You should’ve expected as much. “If we move in together then we wouldn’t really be “neighbors” anymore.”

“Oh, um—” You become staggered by his observation, even more so when he interlocks your fingers. It’s another time when you’re not entirely sure if he’s being serious or not. His innocent puppy-eyed expression doesn’t help you differentiate either. It always makes your mind wander to more inappropriate topics—like the fact Xavier told you he didn’t believe that other neighbors acted like you two. The memory nearly makes you squirm. In this position, you decide to give him the benefit of the doubt. “We’d be roommates, much better than neighbors,” you manage to explain, proud when you hold firm, but that delicate foundation cracks when his laugh highlights the room. You could nearly melt.

“Do roommates sleep together too?”

There’s a shine of amusement that makes his face glow and heat claw higher up your neck. You know the question should be taken literally but when he words it like that…with that warm implicative inflection to his voice, you’re unable to think properly, and you realize that maybe you made a mistake. Maybe you shouldn’t have given him the benefit of the doubt this time.

“I’m sure some do,” you answer with some courage, “I’d imagine at least once a week.”

“I believe we’re up to twice a week now. So, if we become roommates, I think we have to do it at least that many times, otherwise I’m afraid I’m going to have to reject your offer.”

“Two times?” you repeat, silently begging the flapping of butterflies in your stomach to calm down at the suggestion, at the implication that he enjoys sleeping with you just as much as you do with him. It makes this strong emotion in your chest blossom even further. “I can manage that.”

“Additional proposal,” he interrupts suddenly. “Perhaps, three times? I can even throw in a pair of those fuzzy socks that I can never manage to find after you visit,” he adds coyly.

“Oh, I’m sure they’re around your apartment somewhere,” you quickly respond before releasing the buildup of nervous air in your lungs. You smile. “Proposal accepted. Shared naps three times a week minimum.”

“In that case,” he breathes in softly, and he slips his hand down releasing all your fingers except for your pinky that he wraps into his own. “I think I would like to be your roommate.”

Inside, there’s unadulterated joy beginning to flood you. You know that this agreement will require a more in-depth discussion that Xavier will probably try to gloss over but this is enough for you right now.

“We should take tonight to practice for our move.”

Confused, you raise your eyebrows. “Practice?”

He nods.

“Sleeping together overnight. We did a few times before, well, only twice in the same bed, once in yours and once in mine,” he explains. You definitely have the clearest memory of that time, of bandaging his wounds, of cluelessly pinning him down shirtless on his bed before he turned the tables on you, and then—you remind yourself to resist going over the details, not with him this close to you. Somehow, Xavier is the one who looks the most insecure between the two of you. Finally, he whispers, “I haven’t forgotten even if it was a long time ago.”

His eyes are half-lidded, cloudy with thought. Something about him looks restrained and longing but it disappears when you finally swallow your swelling emotions and call out his name. There’s a twinkle of adoration that blows away whatever doubt there as he focuses on you again.

“I think about it when I have a hard time sleeping on overnight missions.” Xavier turns and slides his arm from under your head, choosing to lay on his side to face you. “It makes it a lot easier to rest in the hunting zones when you have good memories like that. So, it's nice to have a chance to make more."

“I don’t think I could fall asleep at all if I thought of something like that,” you admit, as close to an admission of your love for him as you could muster without mountains of alcohol. “I’d just think about how much I’d rather be home with them.”

“And now? Are you having trouble sleeping?” he asks huskily, and you have to fight not to keep staring at his lips and the dire need to kiss them as you breathe each other in. You reach out, touching his bare collar then instinctively searching for his slow pulse, counting it to calm yourself from the rush of adrenaline building in you.

You’re not even sure when you breathed out the “yes” that echoes softly from your mouth. His lips are so close to yours that you’re sure he could catch it in his breath if he wanted.

“How about I tell you a story to help you fall asleep?” He sees your hesitation and laughs under his breath. “I promise it’ll be much better than the last one.”

Accepting his offer, you agree to listen to him.

Xavier nods and gently swoops the back of his hand against your forehead and then your cheek before cupping it. There’s a gentle squeeze, and you think you understand why he likes it so much when you do it.

“Once, there was a beautiful queen and a knight,” he begins. “They lived together in a palace far away.”

“And they fall in love and live happily ever after?” you question, too busy in the full and fuzzy sensations filling your being to hold back.

“No, they were separated from each other for a long time,” Xavier corrects but his expression softens at the trickling concern building on your face. “Don’t worry. They meet again and become neighbors.”

“And then?”

“They become roommates,” he states matter-of-factly, which causes you to chuckle at him. You can’t even be bothered to care that he’s poking fun at you.

“Then, happily ever after?”

“I don’t know yet,” he answers, causing you to frown and your face to wrinkle with a sullen expression. His head tilts further into the plush of the pillow. “But you can help me figure out the ending.”

Feeling exhausted from the cathartic flow of emotions from him to you, you wiggle into him and throw your arm across his waist. “There’d probably be a lot of naps and stargazing involved,” you mumble before a tiny yawn.

“Sounds like a happy ending to me. It's good to finally see it,” he agrees, and you sigh when you feel a strong squeeze around your waist. “Although, you forgot to mention the part where the queen promises to not get out of bed without waking him this time.”

You giggle. “She promises not to get up without her knight.”

Content, he hums. "Do you think you'll be able to sleep now?"

"I think so after a story like that," you confess, reaching out to brush his hair back so you can see his eyes more clearly. "Then again, I always sleep good with you."

"You’ll sleep best when we're close, right?"

You gasp when he shifts on top of you. His lips briefly brush your forehead, by accident or not, you can’t tell as he pins you between himself and the bed. With a stutter, you call out his name yet he pays no heed as he nuzzles his head into your hair.

“Good night, roommate.”

“Xav-!” You pout when he instantly slumps against you. There’s no point trying to wake him up now that his five minutes of alertness have long expired.

Settling your chin against the top of his shoulder, you hook your arms under his to hug him against your chest. Your forearms settle at his mid-back as you hold him close so you can gently brush the ends of his hair.

When you ultimately decide to give in minutes after him, it’s to the warmth of his weight on top of you, the tickle of his hair against your forehead, and the increased pulsing of his heart. Xavier was right, this is too comfortable. Letting your eyes fall close, you wonder if three times a week would really be enough to satisfy this strangely familiar craving. You only wish that the two of you could meet in your dreams like he says, but it's enough knowing you'll have each other in the morning and then on.

“…Good night, Xavier. Sweet dreams,” you whisper before you too give into sleep’s spell.

#xavier x reader #love and deepspace x reader #lads x reader #xavier fluff #xavier

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featherymalignancy · 3 months

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Okay like if you agree, but….

here are 3 trends that I wish the fantasy genre would take a break from for a little while.

*Quick disclosure, this isn’t meant to feel overly negative, I mostly want to hear other people’s opinions on these trends and others!*

Hungry Games-esque “a competition with deadly stakes” plot lines. On the one hand, I get it, because like the rest of the world, I was totally enthralled by this premise when it was first introduced in the 2000 Japanese film Battle Royale and later, the Hunger Games. However, at this point the idea of the main character entering into a deadly competition feels a little tired and predictable, and unlike Battle Royale and The Hunger Games, the many of the latest iterations lack the searing social commentary which made the premise so compelling. Notable Examples: Serpent and the Wings of Night, Lightlark, The Jasad Heir

Motherfucking EPIGRAPHS. You know, that line or paragraph of text which proceeds every chapter. In the fantasy genre, often it is an except from a historical or religious text from the world in which the book is set. And here’s the thing—it’s not that I hate epigraphs, or that I don’t understand their purpose. They can be an elegant way to add context to the story without burdening the main narrative with too much exposition, and they can also help the created world to feel more “lived in”. Having said that, I feel like they are starting to get way overused, and for me, they’ve gone from feeling like a cool way for the author to provide context and add meta commentary to their story to serving as a slightly less clunky vehicle of info-dumping. Like…am I supposed to be remembering the characters of this lore which I only ever hear about through these epigraphs, because I can assure you, I am not. In other instances, they can feel like an authors lack of faith in the reader, as if they are afraid we might miss the point if they don’t include an unsubtle cue as to where we ought to focus our attention at the start of every chapter. I respect the role epigraphs have played in fantasy classics like Dune and Wheel of Time, but I currently feel the number of novels employing them has become fatiguing, and I hope the trend of including them decreases, at least in the short-term. Notable examples: Fourth Wing (Empyrean Series, Swordcatcher, Furyborn (Empirium series)

A [Blank] of [Blank] and [Blank] Not much to say here other than…when are romantasy authors going to let this go?? 😮‍💨😮‍💨 While you could argue the true genesis of this title naming convention could be GRRM’s A Song of Ice of Fire, I think we can all agree that—for better or worse—it was the popularity of ACOTAR that sent this title style into the stratosphere, and at this point, it has become ubiquitous to the point of literal disorientation. To me there is nothing inherently wrong with this title style (though I would also argue there is nothing particularly gripping about it, at least not enough to warrant a trend of this size) but it basically renders all of these books—which are already of a similar vibe and style—virtually indistinguishable. As a reader on the hunt for new books to scratch that romantasy itch, it’s nearly impossible to tell the dozens of titles bearing this title apart, which means I have no sense which which ones I’ve read, which I haven’t, which caught my interest, which I started and didn’t care for, etc. I have idea how much of this is a consequence of publishers trying to capitalize on a known entity in order to make the most money and how much is just the fact that naming a book is really fucking hard, but good lord, what is it gonna take to stop this madness? Notable examples: quite literally too many to name

What do yall think? Do you agree, disagree? What are some fantasy trends you’d like to see go away/make a comeback

#feathery asks #fantasy genre #fantasy trends #iron flame #SJM

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bidonica · 2 months

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Anyway elaborating on this and the potential for a Higgs redemption arc/reluctant ally arc/his chaotic ass pulling a Vegeta in DS2, I was finishing Mama's chapter today (spoilers if you haven't played the first Death Stranding yadda yadda) and a couple of things jumped at me:

When Lockne's soul merges with Mama's she does this, suggesting it's actually Mama embracing her/wiping her tears. Looks familiar:

(this actually doesn't have anything to do with Higgs' potential Vegeta arc - I don't think - but I feel it had to be pointed out. What is powering Fragile's second set of hands?)

Lockne does a bit of exposition about how Mama wasn't really alive because her soul went on to the afterlife while her body was kept "alive" by the soul of her unborn baby, so when Sam severed their link she started to die definitively. Something something what with the gut (but probably umbilical cord) window and him literally rising from a coffin, that's probably the state Higgs is going to be in in DS2. More or less. Somewhat. I have theories on how he might have manifested himself into the physical world again but they're very vague and also not the point of this post

But most of all what made me jump in my chair was this email you get after Mama's death:

Which honestly sounds like A Lot when applied to Mama because it's hard to see Mama's "betrayal" as even a betrayal at all - it's just her feeling guilty and traumatized, a big misunderstanding with no ill intent behind it. But who is the character who became a minion of the real adversary in this story and was tasked specifically with causing trouble for the hero...

And then there's that little aside about second chances at the end of the email which... Kojima I'm in your fucking walls. Why did you bury that in an email about Mama of all people. I might be reading too much into this (because it's explicitly about Mama), and Kojima said he heavily rewrote DS2 after the pandemic, so it's hard to tell how much of what is laid out in Death Stranding will end up paying off in the sequel. But... redeeming the villain from the first part of the story and/or making him a reluctant ally is a classic anime trope and something I actually thought about back when I finished my first playthrough because why keep Higgs alive (albeit stranded on the Beach) only to rehash the same storyline from the first game?

I'm trying not to get my hopes up but... the more I think about it the more it makes sense to me, especially because I got a feeling from the new trailer that the real antagonist is going to be Bridges (or whatever APAC is), so a sharp turn from the more metaphysical threat posed by Higgs, Amelie and Clifford in the first game.

#listen i'm just throwing theories and hints at the wall and see what sticks #i have to kill time until ds2 drops okay!#death stranding #death stranding 2 #death stranding 2 on the beach #higgs monaghan #mama death stranding #death stranding theories

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some-pers0n · 6 months

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Reading through scenes with Albatross in them, so you know what that means!! Note time!! Time to take notes about Albatross, with little sprinkles of Fathom and Lagoon.

This is a post literally only meant for me. I'm. yeah. If I ever rip it out of my drafts it's gonna be because: "Wowie you think the other dragon likers will enjoy this as well?" It's not going to be coherent at all, switching from bullet points to full on tangents. I'll eventually shorten it down to something more compact and easier to comprehend, perhaps with a character sheet for Albatross with a detailed personality section.

With that being said, lets read.

Chapter 1

Chapter where Fathom learns that he's a magic guy. Okie.

First note is entirely off-topic, but I really do love Indigo and Fathom's interactions. They're so sweet.

Lagoon's first introduction already paints her as ominous and foreboding, comparing her rising out of the sea like "a sinister iceberg". Iceberg flipping videos are spooky to me, so yeah that makes sense. Either way, it establishes her character to be one that's antagonistic, with the use of the phrase "stalked slowly up to the beach" in the next sentence making it very firm that she's not exactly a dragon we like.

Lagoon's literally beefing with a child. God I hate her so much,, I love her <333

Interesting use of the titled "most respected dragon in the Sea Kingdom" to describe Albatross. I like that it implies that Albatross is viewed more highly than even Queen Lagoon (which isn't too high of a bar to clear, but ehh). He's beloved by the kingdom. He's their first animus.

Odd to describe his expression as "suspicious" here. I like thinking that he looks like a generic evil cartoon villain/anti-semite stereotype here. The next sentence describing him with a hooked snout doesn't help.

Curious that he would complain about the TOP ceremony here. I get it's for exposition, but I find it interesting. He doesn't see a point in the exam. It's a waste of time to him and the others. He says that, if they were an animus, they would've figured it out by now.

Lagoon on the other hand wants to use this exam to weed out the animus dragons quickly. She wants another animus so she can use them in case the RainWings or MudWings try to do anything fishy, saying that they've been acting up. She views animus dragons less like actual people and more like tools for either how own vanity projects or for war.

^ Something very compelling to me here is how she uses she/her pronouns to refer to this imaginary animus they'll discover. Why does she do that? That's...quite odd. Does she want Pearl to be the animus? Strange.

Lagoon once again uses the Sapphire incident as leverage over Albatross. This is our first introduction scene to these characters and we've established that Lagoon is antagonistic and kind of a prick. She reminds Albatross of this without batting an eye. I like to personally think that she isn't as bothered by the mauling of her sister as Albatross is. Albatross was traumatized by the event and the guilt of it all has followed with him for his entire life. Lagoon on the other hand doesn't exactly seem too bothered with the idea of bringing it up just to remind Albatross about what he's done, reminding him that, no matter what he does, he destroyed Sapphire's life.

Albatross shows his disdain for being used as a tool for Lagoon. He's given her everything she wants, yet she does not feel fully satisfied with it. He also mentions he does not want an apprentice. Headcanon: I think Albatross isn't fond of the idea of having an apprentice because he kinda just hates the concept of Lagoon having another animus to look after. Honestly? I fully believe that if Fathom discovered his magic on his own time and approached Albatross privately about it, Albatross would've trained him but he would INSIST that he NEVER tell Lagoon about it. He doesn't want to doom another dragon to his fate.

!! Lagoon reacts to this aggressively. She hisses and snarls at him over this slight resistance. It shows that she's not one for the idea of Albatross ever standing up for himself. It's never been about what Albatross wants. He's barely even a dragon in her eyes. He's just a breathing wish-making device that looks ugly as hell to her.

Albatross submits. Headcanon: I think Albatross is always anxious and tries controlling himself constantly because he doesn't want to hurt Lagoon the same way he did with Sapphire. It's...very hard not to, though...

I like thinking that Albatross did the coconut thing because he was so confident that there wouldn't be an animus dragons. I also like thinking that he thought it would be something to entertain the dragonets. Like...imagine being nine or something and you're told you could hit the Pope with a basketball if you just yell at the ball. Silly.

^ Also in the Guide, Albatross says it's much easier and a lot more safe to enchant a coconut to float or something. It characterizes him as actually caring about the safety of the tribe and putting in far more thought and care into the exams than Lagoon ever could.

Albatross is bored by doing these tests. Fathom is amazed however by simply watching the coconut fly over to him.

^ Interestingly, Fathom is spooked and scared. He's unsure if the test will hurt him. He's anxious that, somehow, Albatross has enchanted the coconuts to react if somebody touched it.

"Wouldn't it just be easier to throw it at you?" BWAHWHUDHAIDUH-- INDIGO AHHHH

^ Albatross laughs at this. He's amused by the response, finding humour in such a simple question. Silly guy.

Interesting note of animus magic here is that you have to command something to do what you want. You don't ask it. You order it. Fascinating.

BONK!!

IT BROKE BONES??? I mean, obviously. It's a giant dense coconut flying at him at the speed of a bullet. Of course.

Pearl you goddamn rat.

HAHAHAHAHAH OH MY GODDDDDD how could people read this book without understanding that Lagoon is clearly evil and Wrong? "You are going to do such great things for m- for your tribe" AHAHAHHA

^ Actually obsessed with how shitty the royal SeaWing family is. That's such a silly thing of Tui to do.

Albatross is happy!! Again, going back to that headcanon I talked about, I think Albatross would like to train Fathom, but rather he doesn't want to be replaced or to sentence Fathom to a life of constantly serving a bitchy queen. That's something to worry about later. For now, everything is happy and nice.

Chapter 3

Private magic lessons with grandpapa.

I actually adore Indigo and Fathom oh my goddd they're so sweet...

Really love the interactions here. It's quite fun and goofy between all of the characters.

Fathom listened to Albatross's wishes to have him save his animus magic. Albatross knows the dangers that animus magic holds, and Fathom wants to listen to his grandpapa. Fathom really does look up to and love Albatross. He's so sweet and untraumatized <3

HANDWRITING!!! USE OF THE WORD HAND!!! NOT TALON!! HAND!!!!!

I always forget the Island Palace was a thing and the massacre wasn't at the Summer Palace you mean to tell me that this bitch needed THREE palaces????? One of which only really existing as a means for PARTIES??? Gott DAMN Lagoon chill out.

^ Fuck it. Headcanon: Albatross lives at the Island Palace. Yeah yeah it's mostly used for parties and for political diplomats to sleep, but GOD I don't think Albatross could stand to live in the same palace as Lagoon. How about Albatross lived there with his wife and raised his kids there? Now he lives there alone. Boo hoo. He's the host whenever guests come to visit. He gets pissy that his house basically becomes a nightmareish party hellscape whenever his sister comes over.

^^ It's also pretty and I think Albatross would like it.

Albatross drags Fathom to the beach where he first discovered animus magic so he could really drill it in just how fucked up animus magic is. Epic.

Albatross is silly and goofy!! He is happy and having fun and is excited to teach Fathom the ways of being a wizard. Fathom inversely is so inexperienced and gullible. Silly guy.

Something to note: So far, Albatross really hasn't been talked about like he's...stern or rude. He's only bothered by Lagoon's antics and demands. I think he's a fairly good and friendly dragon, but it just extremely annoyed by Lagoon (completely understandable)

GOD he's full of so much whimsy and joy. He's so silly. I love this little guy (I am talking about an old traumatized dragon)

Fathom describes this interaction as being new and slightly odd, as Albatross was always seen as some distant and powerful figure. A dragon of importance that was always too busy. He was always nice and friendly, but never exactly...there. Now? He gets to see how he really is: SILLY!!!

Further showing how much Albatross is having fun via by describing him jumping into the ocean with him "splashing into the sea".

Lagoon requested Albatross show Fathom the palace just in-case Albatross dies before it's finished. Now, I know I'm biased, but from how things happen later on, I feel Lagoon was plotting to dispose of Albatross the moment Fathom was discovered to be an animus. She wanted Fathom to pick up where Albatross left off. Fathom would be a new, better, more presentable animus.

^ Albatross doesn't know about this plot, so he goes along with it. He's excited to teach Fathom!!

Again, Albatross shows that he's a lot more considerate and aware. He's cautious and thoughtful. He purposefully stretches out the creation of the Summer Palace so that it doesn't cause any damage to the ecosystem.

Fathom stfu your gandpapa cares about the environment. He didn't mess up the spell, he just didn't want the ocean to explode or whatever.

Albatross is supportive of Fathom's idea to create a cover of leaves over the Summer Palace, but this is where Albatross gets serious and tells Fathom he needs to think and plot out his spells. Albatross does not want Fathom to use up his soul carelessly or to make rash and impulsive choices without thinking them through clearly. I think this fear of Fathom misusing his magic was instilled by, again, the Sapphire incident. He doesn't want Fathom to follow in his footsteps.

TRAUMA STORY TIME!!!

Albatross is obviously telling this story to Fathom as a) exposition for his backstory and b) to tell Fathom that he needs to be careful with his magic. It is not a toy. It is a powerful, dangerous force.

Fathom is hopeful and still thinks Albatross isn't really capable of harm as he assumes that his first enchantment was something grand and wonderful.

Literally how does anybody read this and come away thinking that Lagoon was entirely innocent here. Fathom literally reflects on Albatross's comment on them doing "normal brother-sister teasing", which is Sapphire and Lagoon coming down and bullying him until he snapped back at them. Fathom is like: "...I don't think that's normal brother-sister teasing, grandpapa."

AUGHHHH LAGOON YOU'RE THE WORST,,, classist loser. Treating Indigo badly and saying that, by keeping her around, they're "coddling the lower class". She obviously views herself as being better and superior to common SeaWings.

Sapphire and Lagoon are the worst. "Everything you have will be mine when I'm queen" ughhhhh

Such a terrible event shaped Albatross in a way that cannot fully be described. It scarred him. It was the first time he had used his magic, and it was to harm his sister. It was a simple mistake, yet he can never live it down. He blames himself for it. Lagoon on the other hand uses it as a means to control him. Manipulate his trauma and guilt-trips him into doing what she wants.

I blame TF2 for making me have a knee-jerk reaction to the word "spy". Albatross literally saying "a spy?" when he notices Indigo watching them made me think of the french guy.

Aww,,,Blob....

Chapter 6

oh no

Lagoon is becoming more rude towards Indigo since Fathom was revealed to be an animus. Again, she hates how she had a commoner dragon frolicking around with royals.

Lagoon more or less hosts these parties as vanity projects for her to show off everything grand about her (which was basically done by Albatross after she manipulated him into using his magic). I'm willing to bet she doesn't care really at all about what happens from a political standpoint, so long as she's known as some grand and glorious queen.

Fathom mentions that Lagoon is "skilled with diplomatic meets" because she has the power of an animus behind her. Again, she mostly relies on Albatross and his magic to be feared.

Fathom wearing jewelry that also matches the stuff Albatross wears. I wonder if that was set up by Lagoon.

IT'S BEEN THREE YEARS SINCE THE TEST?? Okey then.

These Fathigo moments are melting my heart. Tui....

BWAHAHWHAHUWDHAIWUHAI--- I always forget how charming and silly these books are. Ahhhh this is so cute and fun.

Blah blah blah let us get back to old murder man. It's THE chapter after all.

So after three years, Albatross is still too spooked to let Fathom do more than basic spells. Is he fearful? Perhaps at this point he knows about Lagoon's plot to replace him and wants to live longer. It's hard to tell. Three years is a large timeskip. A lot could happen in that gap.

I think Albatross has become a lot more...quiet and estranged since then. He completely erased the work that Fathom had made. He's a bit more erratic. If there's one thing I wish we got, it would be a better explanation for this. Something HAD to have happened in order for him to have a personality shift like this.

He's described as being unexcited when they finally completed the palace. Perhaps this was the moment. I think that, yeah, Albatross figured out that his time is up. He's going to die. Lagoon is probably going to kill him off and replace him with Fathom. I headcanon that Lagoon killed Albatross's wife, which he probably could've figured out by now as well, so him finally completing the palace would mean he's obsolete. He's finished. There's no use for him anymore. He'll be disposed.

I don't think he planned the massacre. It was rather him finally reaching a breakpoint and going "fuck it, if I'm dying tonight, I'm taking down as many other dragons as I can". He would've been repulsed by the idea, but at this point he just straight up doesn't care. I think when he first approached Lagoon he wanted to sort things out with her, but as it became increasingly obvious that she was going to be unreasonable, he just pulled out the knife and dealt with her himself.

I hate you Lagoon.

There's no real point in me describing this part. It's Lagoon just basically showing off Albatross's creations to the very-not-okay-with-animus-dragons SkyWing royals. Her head is so far up her own ass she just doesn't care.

Big fight happens.

The reactions from the other dragons are interesting. Manta, Splash, and Reef all react with anxiety and tense up. They know that Albatross isn't in a Good Mood, or perhaps they are a little aware that Albatross is going to be disposed of and Lagoon is practically throwing rocks at the bear now. No longer is she poking the bear with a stick. She's pretty much just hurling rocks and telling it that she's going to kill it.

Definitely when I rewrite this scene it's gonna be a lot more dramatic. I mean, it's the climax of Albatross's story. The big moment everyone knows. It deserves to be slightly more bombastic than this.

KNIFE!!!

Chapter 8

Still endlessly amused by there being a Clearsight chapter right before this.

Murder dragon becomes murder dragon chapter, lets go.

Straight up doesn't care anymore. Again, like I said before, I think he wants to go out with a bang. Headcanon: I don't think Albatross was at all content with how his life went. Yeah, he's the most respected dragon in the tribe, but at the cost of being a little pet for his sister to boss around. At this point he is Done with everything. Its gone fully into a manic episode.

^ Something like this as well, I don't think he liked the parties at all. Circling back into the Island Palace being his home, he hates his house basically being turned into a playground for Lagoon to show off. I also think he just generally doesn't like parties because they're loud and bother him. I'm 100% adding in my animus curse headcanon into this winglet, so with the added bonus of him being sensitive to sound it makes him yearn for peace and quiet. He's just getting that wish in a bloody and brutal way.

Interesting that Fathom tries DEFENDING Albatross even after he's fully aware that he killed Lagoon on purpose and is going after the SkyWings. He's in denial. He still loves his grandpapa and doesn't want to think he would actually do any of this. If he did, it was for a good reason, right? He would stop soon, right?

MANTA NO NONONONON NOOOOOO OH MY GOD NOOO THIS IS SO SAD NOONONONONOOO Manta is Albatross's daughter, by the way. She's trying to reason with her father.

Finally the realization is beginning to set into Fathom that, yeah, his grandpapa is going to kill everyone.

Ouughhhhh I wish Tui did more horrific moments like this. Having Albatross come into the room and act all like a horror monster is so good. She's really good with writing tension in these scenes. Love it.

Interesting that Albatross would point out Fathom's lack of an imagination of all things. Perhaps he's reaching for straws for anything that makes him better than Fathom. Reasons for why he should've been seen as a good and worthy animus.

Again, with Albatross mentioning here how he wants to kill Fathom up close, it's less about the killing them to him. It's the joy and release from watching the life drain from their eyes. To finally show how powerful he is. To show that he deserves to be seen as powerful and more than just a lapdog for Lagoon.

^ Albatross also sees Fathom as the reason for Lagoon disposing him. Albatross blames Fathom for it. If it wasn't for Fathom, he could've lived on with his miserable existence for a while longer. Maybe he could've shown Lagoon what he thought of her then.

Annnddd Albatross is dead within like two paragraphs. Yippeee.

Honestly if I'm doing this I'm giving his ass a Breaking Bad ending with him managing to live on and limp over to a place that's important to him before dying. RIP bozo.

#wof #wings of fire #albatross wof #long post #save #ref #sp-rambles

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air-of-the-waterfall · 10 months

Text

I shall henceforth and forevermore ramble about the Thunderhead.

Chapter 30 of Scythe is our first proper introduction. Until that point it's just a vague background concept, rather mysterious but undoubtedly pivotal. In chapter 28, we get this:

"Citra Terranova, said a voice both powerful yet gentle. Citra Terranova, can you hear me?

Who's that? Is someone there?

Curious, said the voice. Very curious..."

I love the vagueness and anticipation that Neal Shusterman leaves to simmer for a while. In book one we're getting familiar with the Scythedom's side of things, then as the series progresses we pan out into the entire world with the Thunderhead and the experience is just dazzling. That's the only way I can describe reading it. It literally feels like meeting God.

The Thunderhead's first proper appearance is its conversation with deadish Citra, and we learn all about its personality in one brief chapter. Here's where it becomes a living, complex character. Its voice is so distinct and we're hooked right from the start. It's actually kind of pompous in announcing its presence and making her play "guess who," which I'm thinking it does because that's what she'd expect from it. Authoritative, wise, even mystical.

As the conversation goes on, it's blunt and clever with the exposition, the loopholes, its opinions. It treats Citra like they're on an even playing field and it respects her. It subtly scolds her for pushing that girl in front of a truck, displaying its omniscience and gentle judgement.

The beach ball thing is so funny and adds lightness to an otherwise intense scene. The Thunderhead has quirks and humour, if only hinted at here. "Early programming plagues me like a vestigial tail." I'm going to make a separate post on that.

It expresses its grievances with the state of its existence, albeit watering that down significantly. It doesn't want her to know just how uncertain and frightening things really are, because the whole point of this conversation is that it wants her to have hope. Citra compares it to her mother, which it sidesteps. We all know that parents aren't always correct, and the Thunderhead knows that too. It will not confront the terrifying possibility of being anything but correct. "I know no other way to be."

"The curb is the launching point for many a deed." I love that line because it sets up everything that's soon to happen with Greyson, whom it definitely kicks to the curb in book two. This line hints at how it makes the best of every unfortunate situation. Clouds with silver linings, and such.

"I'm sure you could arrange it." THIS is hilarious. There's the snark. There's the sass. It insults her and then it just ditches her, all the while it's been bringing her back from the dead. Literally performing a miracle. It's like the equivalent of a doctor chewing gum and talking on the phone mid-surgery, completely unfazed. I feel like Citra's not the type to be begging it not to leave, but I sure would be.

The fact that Citra later refers to this experience as "a moment of great awe" reminds us that scythes are human. Fallible. Perhaps even inferior.

It's also funny to see the difference in how the Thunderhead treats Rowan later when he's in the same situation. You can tell that it favours him less than Citra. It doesn't dislike him, because it loves and understands everybody, but it's quicker to get to the point, less gentle, identifying itself right off the bat and adapting itself to Rowan's personality. Rowan knows it will forgive his rudeness.

Also, you know, we learn that the Thunderhead can, you know, reach into people's brains. I'm sure that little talent won't become vitally important later.

Overall this scene is fantastic and the Thunderhead owns my soul goodnight.

#arc of a scythe #the thunderhead #aoas #citra terranova #rowan damisch #greyson tolliver #mini essay

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tokiro07 · 7 months

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Undead Unluck ep.2 thoughts

[Getting the Shaft]

(Contents: Animation, ch.2-3 comparison, OP/ED analysis)

So I found out that a number of people employed at David Productions were formally members of Shaft, and dang does it show. Fuuko practically did Shaft's signature head tilt like three times! I wonder if they weren't allowed to go all the way with it specifically because it's iconic to Shaft so they have a copyright or a trademark on it?

Admittedly, I don't think I ever considered Shaft as a possible studio for UU, and in certain respects I kind of wish I weren't seeing that future come to pass. The excessive use of negative space and the lack of background characters makes the world feel lifeless, and the occasional full-body shadows literally drain the color from the frames whereas I feel based on the volume covers and color pages is the opposite of the blinding neon vibe that I would have expected. I also worry that using the trappings of a Shaft production's visuals will result in UU looking like any other Shaft work rather than having its own visual identity, though I suppose we'll have to wait and see on that

However, this is the future we got, and all in all, those are just gripes. The combat has exactly the energy that it needs to, the comedic moments are given a lot more gravitas than they had in the manga, and once again David Pro loves to add in fun details. My favorite in this week's episode was Andy realizing what the source of the Unluck was going to be and slowly inching closer to Shen and Void so they'd be more likely to get caught up in it. I don't believe I saw the almost electric trail of blood from Andy's finger as he prepped his Parts Bullet against Void, but maybe i just missed it. If I did, let me know, I'd love to be wrong about this one

As I (and many others) predicted, episode 2 covered chapters 2 and 3, and I think it did it quite well. I'm not sure if it's because I read the manga, because it's an anime, or because the director specifically was trying to do this, but I felt like the anime made the exposition and details a lot easier to absorb than the manga did. If I had to attribute that to something, I would say that a panel can cram in multiple details and layers that the reader needs to be active to pick up on while an anime has to show everything individually and any deviation can be detected through movement. I don't know that for a fact, but it's the impression I get

The difference between Unavoidable and Shen's ability was pretty difficult for me to wrap my head around at first in the manga, but I feel like this iteration will make it a lot easier to differentiate them, hopefully. I wouldn't say that UU is obtuse in general, but I imagine a lot of it is going to be clearer going forward

We also got the opening and ending themes, both of which had great songs and animation. Both were definitely odd, though; they were kind of subdued compared to a lot of other shonen anime openings, with the OP spending about half of it on abstract fractals rather than establishing the characters or setting as one might expect and the ED being extremely somber and heavily symbolic. Even as a manga reader, both of them gave me a bit to chew on, which isn't something I usually expect from OP/EDs

I'd really like to read over the lyrics, but I don't think they're up anywhere yet, and even once I find them I imagine they won't pertain to the story and instead will just match the vibe more than expounding on the themes

Without going into spoilers, my favorite part of the ED animation is Andy waking up under the sakura tree with Fuuko after drifting along the River Styx and passing under dead trees; it's said that under every sakura is a corpse, so the idea that Andy is, in effect, burying his past and leaving his previous life behind him for a brighter future with Fuuko is extremely poignant and touching

If there's anyone worried about Andy and Fuuko's relationship based on the first two episodes, just know that that one bit right at the end of the ED is a better representation of their ongoing relationship than the first couple of episodes are. They are easily the best romantic couple in shonen manga, at least that I've ever seen, so just know you have that to look forward to

I'm particularly excited for next week's episode, cus I really like the Union member they're going to meet. I only recently came to like this character as much as I do, but they make a strong first impression at least, so I hope everyone out there enjoys them too. See ya then!

#undead unluck #fouryearsandananime #4y1a reviews

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recurring-polynya · 9 months

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I'm sorry if this comes off weird, but I wanted to ask why you seem to not want to know about Can't Fear Your Own World? Do you dislike it, or it's nature as a post-series work?

So I've read a couple of the light novels and they simply do not spark joy. The plots sort of wander around, the characterization has very little to say, and they are full of what I'll call "lore dumps", where there will be a paragraph of exposition that's not integrated into the story in any sort of natural way and is frequently of the "thanks, I hate it" variety. Even though they may be "Kubo approved", or include stuff that he came up with, they completely lack his storytelling skill or the charm of his character voices. There are usually about 3-5 bits that I find charming per light novel, and about five to ten times as many that I find aggravating or off-putting (or just plain tedious or boring).

I think that a big part of it for me is that I read a lot of fanfiction and while there is an awful lot of mediocre fanfic, I have also read a lot of brilliant stories written by people who have given a ton of thought to the characters and the worldbuilding and out-of-canon adventures that these characters might go on. To me, the light novels I have read feel like finding a story on AO3 that has all my favorite tags and a cool story description, and then it turns out that I absolutely hate the writing style and direction. It feels like adding insult to injury that on top of that, I am somehow obligated to consider them canon.

To address CFYOW specifically, it does not contain any of the characters I care about. I mean, I like Shuuhei, but what I like about Shuuhei is his relationship with Izuru, Momo, and Renji. I like his job at the Seireitei Communication. I like his guitar playing and boring cooking and the goofy outfits he wears in splash pages. I could not care less about him getting bankai. I've said this before, but I would like relatively very few characters to get bankai, and he is not on my shortlist. It feels very shoehorned to me.

The plot sounds convoluted and tedious as hell. I already found the Fullbringers tedious enough when I had to read about them in the manga, I do not want to spend one more minute of my life thinking about Fullbringers.

Tokinada seems mildly interesting, but I'm pretty sure I got as much as I care to know about him from reading thru some BBS screenshots.

I hate literally every piece of Soul King-related lore I have heard come out of CFYOW. It makes me literally enjoy Bleach less.

I read a fan translation of the first couple of chapters when they came out and it barely kept my attention. I briefly considered that maybe the professional translation might be a little more readable (I say this with all love and respect for the translation I read, which was trying to keep it very close to the original), but then I have heard that Viz butchered the translation, so I feel like there's no winning there.

It's just not for me. If it were a fanfiction, I would look at the tags and description and simply keep scrolling. I wish peace and love on planet Earth to everyone who enjoyed it and any of the other light novels, but it's not something I wish to spend my time and energy on. There are so many parts and pieces of Bleach--the manga, the anime, the movies, the filler arcs, the novels, databooks, random facts Kubo spills in interviews, fanworks, etc, and I've always been of the opinion that as fans, we all have the right to pick and choose which ones we want to consume and what we want to include in our own personal canons. Further, because CFYOW is post-canon, it literally affects nothing if I ignore it. Yeah, there are a few interesting crumbs in there, like the stuff about Ikkaku and his sister and I think there's an off-hand mention of the Six Hearts gang going to the beach, but it's simply not worth it to me to read through over a thousand pages of something that I am otherwise just not interested in.

#if i have to read a thousand pages about hisagi he better be spending a significant part of it kissing kira on the mouth #and it is my understanding that this doesn't happen even once in CFYOW

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bereft-of-frogs · 1 month

Text

is friday. have a list.

reading:

(finished) Notes on an Execution - Danya Kukafka: Still excellent, still thinking about the ending

(in-progress) The Great Transition - Nick Fuller Goggins: I got this from the person who runs the horror book club I go to. The blurb compared it to Station Eleven, perilously high praise, but I'm weirdly enjoying it. Weirdly because I was afraid the structure would get annoying and weirdly because it's doing a bunch of things I usually find annoying but I'm not annoyed? I think it's because even though there's a lot of social justice themes, it never really feels like the characters are lecturing at the reader. Like there have been some scenes where characters are lecturing other characters - but so far they've all felt like they were more about revealing about the characters and their relationships rather than being like 'see, I know about solidarity, look how good a person I am!' I also really like that the exposition is being given through one of the POV characters (a high school student)'s essays, which have comments from her teacher and the comments are all PERFECT - and sure enough the author's day job is as a teacher. XD

(finished) Light of the Jedi - Charles Soule: still not my favorite, but it does pick up once you get past the first part. I think the narration of that action goes on for a bit too long and doesn't leave much space to take in the characters or setting because so much is happening, one thing after another. But, as I said last week, infinitely better than doomscrolling

(in-progress) Into the Dark - Claudia Gray: Ok the thing about Light is that I didn't really care about any of the deaths in it....until this book made me care. I think Gray is just a little bit more adept at character writing, I really started to fall in love with the High Republic and its characters in this book. I am sad though, given I'm probably going to have to skip Midnight Horizon to avoid getting derailed again, this might be where Reath and I part ways. I ended up loving Reath so much! But alas! Midnight Horizon was not my cup of tea, so I will have to say farewell.

(in-progress) Lord of the Rights chapter-a-day reread: Pelennor Fields today. DEAAAATTTHHH!!!!

watching (tv):

(finished) Silo (Apple TV): WHY am I still thinking about that finale?? why was that so good? WHEN is season 2 coming out?

(in-progress, rewatch) Altered Carbon (Netflix): to stop myself from just watching dumb commentary youtube videos while I'm cooking/eating dinner/etc I started rewatching Altered Carbon and damn it's just so good. I'm almost finished with the first season, I know the second is controversial/isn't quite as good but I still enjoyed it so will continue on

I'm in kind of a hangover post-Silo for the show I watch as part of my bedtime routine. I watched 2 episodes of Foundation and precisely 30 minutes of Severance before I fell asleep last night (I was just really tired because a certain Void Creature had me up at 5AM, not Severance's fault), so idk which I'm going to continue on with. Probably Severance, I'll get back to Foundation eventually.

watching (film):

The Strangers (2008): That scene where Liv Tyler is smoking in the kitchen and the intruder is standing unseen in the background is my LITERAL NIGHTMARE.

Hell House LLC II: The Abbadon Hotel (2018) and Hell House LLC III: Lake of Fire (2019): This is such a bizarre series because the first is slightly above-average found footage, the fourth is actually surprisingly scary, and the middle two are SUCH hot garbage, but. Completionist. I have seen them all now. The best scene in the third is with the cultists/demons scuttling around and I realized why it makes me laugh, they remind me of the wraiths in What We Do in the Shadows XD

Dune Part 2 (2024) - I SAW DUNE AGAIN IT WAS STILL GOOD. Aside, is Austin Butler in something the Youths (TM) like? Because I only know him from the awful Elvis movie I suffered through last year. The girl selling my ticket was like 'yeah I've seen it twice as an audience member and then I keep going up to the projection room to watch the duel because Austin Butler *heart eyes*' and I was like.....him? Really? Are the kids just horny for Harkonnens? I have questions.

video game update: I'm unstuck on cult of the lamb! I had the run of my life and got past the underwater level, it was great.

craft update: Skein still tangled, don't want to talk about it. But I've finished the short rows on the sweater vest and am onto the repetitive part! The next real milestone will be getting to where it joins the back under the arms, and I no longer have to purl. I can't wait.

weekend list -- just kidding it's a WEEK list because I'm on vacation! (technically I am dogsitting but I'm still taking a week off from work to go hang out with a dog, so that counts as vacation):

focus up to get through the workday. friends, it is 11AM and that is not going well, let me tell you

go for a run

pack / tidy up apartment so I don't come back to wreckage

non-writing things to do while at parents' house:

many walks! dog cuddles!

try out their fancy peloton thing, see what this cult thing is all about

knitting - planning to work on sweater vest, despite the fact that it is black and my parents' dog is so, so yellow... (she's a yellow lab)

laundry. so much laundry. everything that is in my apartment that can be put in a washing machine, is being brought. We've got sheets, we've got towels, bath mats, etc etc. My parents are paying me for dogsitting services in water usage.

read: I'm bringing 3 books I took out of the library yesterday which seems...ambitious...but maybe doable if I-

--don't scroll. seriously. I've blocked so many things, if I can just stick to occasionally checking my tumblr dash and maybe pinterest once in a while, I can get so much else done

writing to-do:

main project: longfic I am tentatively calling 'the station' (probably will change but this is at least better than my last working title which made no sense so I'm keeping it for now), I have 25k in a very rough draft, and am on chapter 2 of 12 in the rewrite (about 8k words). (It's probably going to be much longer than 25k, that was essentially just the self-indulgent scenes that came easily, now I'm doing the hard plot work, connecting scenes, etc, trying to go roughly in order so I don't have to do another full draft.)

start on the final part of 'omens and all kinds of signs': ideally finish a rough draft but we'll see, I have not started it at all, but I know it will feel good to finish it, if I can get some of the pieces together, that would be great

rough draft of the third variation on the tattoo theme (I have...900 words so far)

rough draft of an alternative POV to an already posted fic that's just an excuse to be shamelessly self-indulgent (I have ?? words scribbled in a notebook about it)

#lists lists lists #long post

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quortknee · 1 month

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I am curious to know, what do you like the most of the WH40k universe and what do you like the least?

(note: i got too excited and rambled on for a while, sorry about the really long answer lol)

HI ANON, I’ve just recently gotten into warhammer proper— the black library more specifically. I’ve only read eisenhorn (excluding magos because I wanted to read ravenor beforehand), and the first three horus heresy books so far. I know about some other key story beats just because I am online™ and I cannot avoid the older, more well-known lore. I have never played the tabletop game nor any of the video games (yet). SO it’s a bit challenging to answer this properly.

that said,

off the bat if i could answer this OUT of universe, my favourite thing would be Dan Abnett just as a writer because that guy rules. my least favourite would be how games workshop is seemingly allergic to good business decisions regarding the reprinting of their older books and that they have done nothing to stop scalpers going hog wild lol. ALSO how mcneill writes women and "exposition" (aka tell and re-tell the reader important info so they KNOW it is important rather than treating the reader as a thinking being who can understand subtext and remember the most basic of things from previous chapters/povs/books)

jokes aside, here’s some answers to your question from my current perspective (this is so hard so im gonna share a couple rather than just one each, as i couldn’t pick. most of my gripes with 40k are out of universe minus one woman thing which ill mention below):

I very much enjoy the structure of the inquisition and how many moving parts and types of people an inquisitor employs while on the job. creates a really compelling and vibrant group dynamic within a noir-ish subgenre (i guess? i couldnt figure out how exactly to word that). although i am incredibly biased as the eisenhorn series has coloured my view on the inquisition quite ardently on its own so who knows!!

speaking of Eisenhorn and his crew; glossia is a really cool secret code concept and i personally love it, but that could also just be the romantic in me enjoying the beautiful idea of using personal relationships and poetry off hand with no written cipher to encode your speech

I love how chaos and faith are written as Things; how all of humanity is a hair’s width away from being corrupted, as it is simply the human condition to surrender to faith and “our” base values when threatened or otherwise. It’s really beautiful and tragic

speaking of tragedy; the creation and existence of each of the primarchs and their legions of astartes is just absolutely brilliant. The Emperor creating astartes after the thunder warriors (i think?) to give his soldiers more humanity overall and THAT being the thing that is his downfall (or ascension depending on how you look at it ig) is so beautifully tragic.

Fav characters so far have been literally every main/supporting character in Eisenhorn as well as Loken and Tarvitz from HH. I also think Magnus is really interesting as a primarch so far. Poor guy though lol. I am aware of his uh... big oopsie

Hereticus is still my favourite book I’ve read so far within the black library. (SPOILER: Fischig staying true to himself and his faith and doing all he can to save his friend but not knowing he just contributed to the very thing he hates most (chaos) through Osma, resulting in Medea having to kill him after hailing him to their location to give him a chance to apologize and rejoin the band (against Eisenhorn’s will). And THEN as a last stand while Aemos dies, he and Eisenhorn work together to turn Fischig’s freshly murdered corpse into a perfect daemonhost to imprison Cherubael as a weapon/tool for Eisenhorn to use in the coming battle… END SPOILER) I am still not over it and I don’t think I ever will be. That book is fucking nuts. Abnett did not have to go that hard but I am grateful for it regardless

i hate the remembrancer Petronella Vivar with a burning passion, she is the worst written character in the series period (so far?)

characters I would beat over the head with a steel pipe: Osma, Heldane, Erebus, Eidolon, Lucius, and Petronella. The other characters in this list I can still appreciate as villains. Petronella though... I could probably list some others too but those are the ones who came to mind right away

Other than Petronella idk what I would say regarding what I like the least as of now. I love the other remembrancers (minus the way Karsky was written in false gods, but again this is a McNeill issue), so its literally just her I can't stand. I blame McNeill for this though, with his glaring inability to write a compelling woman whatsoever

also orks are silly i like them

i hope this is satisfactory to you, anon!! please excuse any errors, i answered this first thing in the morning and got way too excited about it lmao. ty for the ask : D

#i could probably go on #but i am tired #ty anon :3 #warhammer 40k #wh 40k #40k #asks #thoughts #i complained about mcneill several during this and i think that says a lot

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polychocobros · 2 months

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if i’m allowed to speak on it, this will be tagged as infinite wealth spoilers. Just wanted to talk about how they handled kiryu on here and see if anyone else agrees with me. I know some of my mutuals on twitter do but I want to actually have an open discussion with others on it.

After chapter 7, when Yamai beats the shit out Kiryu and kidnaps him, I feel like the story took a turn for the worst. They clearly put no care into this game’s story at all, especially Kiryu’s part and it was really disappointing to me as Kiryu is probably my favorite character of all time. I personally saw no point in Yamai kidnapping him and then actually not doing anything to him, it felt contradictory, not to say characters can’t be but it felt like there was almost no consequence for it or it wasn’t meant to have an impact on you to begin with. They make you stressed out (at least I was) over what could potentially happen to him and did nothing with it. Kiryu’s bucket list was filled with shit that wasn’t even important. I don’t need to know that Kiryu went to a Poppo on Nakimichi St. at 7:57 am and bought a fucking bento. Maybe make space for shit that actually matters like his children or his relationship with the Jimas. Instead of having Kiryu spend what could be his last months with Ichiban’s friends (i love his interactions with Zhao and his relationship with Seonhee aside from the flirting don’t get me wrong), he should’ve had his party be the people who impacted his life the most. Haruka could have literally been the idol class. She could’ve fought alongside him even to his protest. They used a bunch of heat actions for Kiryu’s skills and could’ve done the same for the Jimas. The Jimas were literally just added into the game for exposition and a boss fight. Daigo seemed to be the only one who was expressive about Kiryu having cancer, Majima and Saejima didn’t even fucking care? Majima who waited ten years for Kiryu to get out of prison so he could train him to be better? Majima who got in the way of one of his subordinates to take a stabbing for Kiryu because he insisted he belonged to him and only he could kill him? Kiryu trusting Majima to the point where he would rather talk to him first than outright assume he betrayed him in 3. Kiryu having a breakdown thinking Majima was dead and almost broke his cover to seek revenge on his killer in 5. There’s way more I can get into but not caring that Kiryu has cancer? Only one sentence on the matter and that’s that? They want to convince us Kiryu and Majima never cared for one another and it feels insulting to us who actually value Majima and Kiryu’s relationship as friends (shipping aside) bc Kiryu and Majima both trust each other with their lives. Saejima and Kiryu also trust each other and have a friendship and it’s like Saejima might as well have not even been there cause he said next to nothing.

I would’ve been happier about him seeing Taichi had I not known he literally only sees him. Not even a single one of his other children does he see besides a scene I mention later on in the post.

Ichiban telling him he deserved to live for only about 2.5 seconds.. was that supposed to make me sad? Or cry? Sure I got teary eyed but they did not even give us enough time to sit with what Ichiban was saying for me to feel as emotionally impacted as I thought I would. Then Kiryu calling him pathetic for being embarrassed about what happened with Saeko? Like seriously? Kiryu may not be super expressive naturally but calling Ichiban pathetic for being rightfully embarrassed felt wrong.

Was Kiryu supposed to develop as a character in this game at all? Everyone keeps telling him that he shouldn’t take things on alone and that he should rest and then at the boss fight with Ebina he’s like I have to do this alone and Zhao and Saeko have to tell him this fucking bullshit again? As someone who can relate to Kiryu in many avenues (feeling like a burden, feeling like he needs to do things on his own instead of ask for help, feels like even the smallest things are my fault even when they aren’t), it felt like his development in this game was scarce to none then rushed right at the end for some villain who literally did nothing all fucking game. Am I supposed to care about Kiryu telling Ebina all this fucking bullshit? The only thing in that speech that made me teary eyed was Kiryu crying, not even what he was saying because I dont care about Ebina enough to waste tears on him cause he was so irrelevant in game.

And the icing on the cake, the final scene. Haruka and Haruto pull up and Kiryu isn’t even there, he’s in chemo and we get a scene of him just saying his actual name again. Not a single fucking interaction with Haruka or Haruto. No, I’m sorry for abandoning you guys I should’ve never done that. One of the, if not, MOST, important relationship in Kiryu’s fucking life, gets not a single fucking interaction. I literally cried because I was so fucking upset we couldn’t even get that. Like seeing the way they dealt with Kiryu in this game.. I feel like I got fucking shot in the chest (no need to be so dramatic). This was supposed to be a send off to Kiryu? After 3,5, and 6 being a send off? Like how many fucking send offs can you possibly fucking give Kiryu? If I knew this was going to happen I would’ve rather they just killed him off of tetanus like Dean Winchester.

It sucks knowing the journey I spent with Kiryu during all the fucking games I played ended up with so much disappointment. I woild literally wake up mad almost every day after chapter 7. It was that serious for me. There were other things besides Kiryu’s side of things that really upset me (the entirety of the Tatara Channel subplot, the mini games with Ichiban ended up being SA’d because a man being SA’d is funny apparently, Hanawa’s death, Seonhee being one of the first women (besides Daigo’s mom) in the game who’s a cool mafia boss for only half her bond interactions to be flirting with fucking Kiryu, them implying she is into women and then doing literally nothing with it, Saeko’s drink links revolving around some irrelevant man who asked to marry her when she got mad at Ichiban at the start of the game for that, to the point of ghosting him, Zhao and Joongi being complete fucking after thoughts, especially Joongi.. Zhao and Ichiban do not interact in the game at all whatsoever, only one plot related sentence). I fell in love with Kiryu for a reason in Yakuza 0. From going to 0 to possibly one of the worst send offs in any game I’ve ever seen; is fucking heartbreaking. I really hope they mean it this time because I cannot sit through another game with Kiryu in it unless he isn’t at peace with his children, where he is truly happiest. Please leave Kiryu alone and let him go.

#infinite wealth #like a dragon: infinite wealth #infinite wealth spoilers #kiryu kazuma #tp

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amostimprobabledream · 2 months

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Writer Tag!

Thanks so much @blindmagdalena! How many works do you have on AO3? As of right now, 67. What's your total AO3 word count?

No idea lol.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? A Lungful of Smoke Quid Pro Quo The Trees Stood Witness The Beast You've Made of Me the beast you've made of me

I feel like three of these should be discounted because I wrote them in like 2017 - the Hawks one was literally when he was first introduced and we didn't even know his civilian name then.

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do, though not every comment - usually if they're just like "Part Two!" or "More plz!" I tend not to reply to those. I tend to worry about looking like I'm purposefully boosting my comment number by replying to them all.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending? Definitely "as the stars explode".

What’s the fic you've written with the happiest ending? I'm not sure, most of my fics are smut oneshots so I guess hitting the big O is a happy ending. "The Gift" was a pretty happy ending for Grimmjow and Reader.

Do you write crossovers? Not usually but that doesn't necessarily mean I never will.

Have you ever received hate on a fic? Yes. Once I got a particularly stupid one about some girl getting salty that I spoiled a character's death - a character that had only appeared in the manga, so as an anime-only watcher she shouldn't have even been reading about him since she shouldn't know who he is if she hadn't already seen some spoilers.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I think it's pretty much all I write lol. I'm trying to branch out a bit but I worry people feel cheated with no sexy payoff.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? I have, though this was back in like 2015 of a fandom I'm not naming out of embarrassment, and they reposted it to ff.net. Luckily I don't think Reader Inserts are permitted there so I'm assuming it got deleted anyway.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes, a couple of times! Mostly into Russian.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? No, though my Peaky Blinders OC fic is based off an RP I was doing with my friend, so some of it was partly written by her, which I'm repurposing with her permission. <3

What's your all-time favorite ship? I tend to not get too involved with shipping because I like ships that are more unusual and get tired of the same super-popular pairing getting shoved down my neck. That being said, I am forever salty Peaky Blinders set up Tommy/May in Season 2 and then inexplicably just sorta dropped it because May's actress got preggers. (I want them to finally get together for the movie so badly but I'm not holding out much hope.)

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will? I like to think once my hyperfixation kicks in I'll go back to some fics I've ditched but I find multichapter stories difficult to commit to. I do want to continue with my Demon!Dabi story and that Dazai one I wrote one chapter of and then ditched. What are your writing strengths? I think I'm fairly good at dialogue and I try to put unique twists on concepts I've seen done before. I personally also enjoy the personalities I give to my Readers, I'm a bit picky with Readers in Reader Inserts (I hate it when they're either super passive and meek or aggressive af for no reason).

What are your writing weaknesses?

I think I have a bad tendency to skip a lot of exposition because I want to jump to dialogue. I also sometimes worry my writing is too beige prose-y and I should take my time a bit more. Also I am awful at finishing multichapter fics because I get distracted so easily. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? I guess it depends on how it's used? I quite like it when people write characters with accents, I think it adds a nice flavour to stories. What was the first fandom you wrote for? Fruits Basket and Naruto lol. What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to I have a bunch of like, half-started Billy Butcher x Reader concepts but he's such a hard character to write for. I think it's because I don't get to discuss him nearly as much as Homelander. What's your favorite fic you've written? I'm personally pretty fond of "I'm neon phosporescent" for Dabi being a kinky bastard and "stardust in my eyes" as my first foray into The Boys.

No pressure tags: @librarianqueen @inkyveins @honeydazai-main and anyone else who wants to participate!

#Fanfiction #Writing #Ask game

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animehouse-moe · 1 year

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Heavenly Delusion Episode 4: Kuku

Let the broken record repeat once more, Production I.G and Hirotaka continue to kill it. Adding new scenes, moving the order of them around to create even stronger connections and foreshadowing, and even trimming some of the fat of the manga. The team and studio continue to prove their unrivaled ability in delivering an incredible adaptation, as we dive deeper into the core themes of the story.

So I think I'll start with where I finished that introductory paragraph: the core themes. There's mystery, and monsters, and a myriad of other things. But this episode helps viewers grasp what lies beneath that. Connection. Reaching out to connect with another, to fall in love, to find a brother or a sister, to not be alone in this world, to be understood or hold onto your sanity.

Whatever form it may be in, connections are what drives this story. Tarao reaching out for Tokio above, or a baby and Tokio reaching out to each other. It cuts to the core of our existence and speaks out on the loneliness that inhabits us as individuals. And the direction grasps that wonderfully. Through the use of closeups on the hands of various characters they're able to appeal to that aspect of connection, through a literal one. Of course, they're also sneaky and add their own pieces of foreshadowing through it, so keep an eye out.

How about I touch on that subject next? The foreshadowing of this episode (and the series at large) continues to be expert. They fully use that 20+ minute time slot to their advantage, and change around the order of events to create a different but stronger experience than the manga. They're not limited by chapter here but rather episode so the amount of content they can cover differs. Thanks to that, they're afforded a lot more freedom in how they approach things. Alongside that, how they display them is changed as well. It's a natural extension of the manga in that sense, in that it picks up on those queues from its source, and finds a way to extrapolate and improve upon them with sound, color, and movement.

Alright, back to the realm of commentary where I can actually show stuff. We'll head for overall direction I guess. It's really incredible and does make full use of the suite of tools at its disposal, the quality of work on the action or fluid sequences is really quite incredible, with shots like this from the Hiruko in the episode being absolutely stunning.

But, the character expression in this episode is out of this world. Hardly as "important" visually to the average fan, but the work they put into how the characters move, react, and fidget throughout is absolutely incredible. It fits so perfectly with Hirotaka's overall vision it's like a match made in heaven (and sometimes produces funny ones like these first two).

Anyways, back away from the character expression, Hirotaka and Ootsuka Takashi (who directed this episode) are working magic through their understanding of the theme of connection, and produce cuts like this one. Of course, we get the visual information beforehand in a series of scenes where Tokio runs away from Tarao, as she shes everybody else around her has someone. But this is Tokio talking about herself, putting it through her lens is a great idea to sell her character and ensure that viewers are aware of Tokio's own understandings. And I love that they end the sequence with a cut showing Tokio all on their own, just adds to that feeling of isolation and loneliness so well.

And you know what else is crazy? During the earlier scenes featuring Tokio during their conversation with Kona, you can actually see that their eyes remain puffy/red from the crying. Such a small detail that they bothered to put into the moment to just pile on the perfection.

I've said it every episode so far, and I'll say it again: the use of visual information outside of pure exposition is insanely well done. Stuff like seeing a robot clean the ceiling before Tokio uses it to climb into the vent with Kuku, or being shown that Kuku and Tokio aren't showing up on the cameras before that intruder alert goes out. There's a world of content that they apply to the background and tertiary scenes in this series, and it makes the experience so full. Every frame, every movement within this anime has a purpose, a reason for doing what it does. Like walking across the boxes while running from the Hiruko. Kiruko themselves don't say anything until after the fact, but viewers with a keen eye are aware. You get to see the veggies spill out of the boxes on the first floor, and then the weed on the one below it. It's incredible awareness of what's going to happen to be able to express things like that without making it "obvious" or too in your face.

Alright alright, last few pieces, home stretch I promise. Just a few scenes that I really want to gush about. We'll start with the one that I was almost at with my previous spiel. Kona's VA does an incredible job in the conversation with Tokio. Their tone and approach have such a degree of maturity and understanding that lend incredible power to what he says to Tokio. It's a vibe you just can't get in the manga, and his VA has perfectly capture his personality here with just a couple of lines.

Next up, this wonderful awareness of association. Maru and Kiruko are wandering around an abandoned building to find food and other scavenge-able items, and it comes off very cute and heartwarming as they crack jokes and enjoy good food for the first time in a while. What puts it all together though is the soundtrack. It's the same one that was used in Haruki's flashback when he was remembering his sister. It's re-used here, and that association does wonders. It paints a picture of Kiruko's fondness for Maru, and the bond that they now share after their time travelling together. It's a moment that they'll remember and look back on with a smile, and it's so beautiful to see music of all things inject that understanding into it and tie it all together.

And the last thing is the scale of it all. It's hard to really explain or show the size or breadth of things in manga due to limited space, but each scene in an anime has the entirety of the screen to work with, and Hirotaka takes full advantage of that once more. Wide shots that show the scale of the world and the people within it really help explain all sorts of things. Like how high up the vents are at the institution, or how big some of the spaces within it are, or even just how big a building Kiruko and Maru are staying in.

And as if that wasn't enough, the direction goes above and beyond to make these scenes look incredible. The framing, layouts, and blocking of the characters within them fill the scenes and create really satisfying stills. Like in this first image we get to see the chairwoman speaking down towards the people that rush into the room after the alert, but the camera remains high and on a steep angle to show that even though the Chairwoman is high up and away from the people in this big room, there's even more space to it.

Then there's the second image which uses a low angle from near the chairwoman to sell the sheer size of Mina in comparison to your average person. And then the final image of the trio that shows the massive scale of the room in full. It's like a gradient, showing how small people are in the room, to how small people are to Mina, and then to how small Mina is in the room as well. Really creative work that gets used in all sorts of places.

So that's about all I have to say for today (though not really, it's just that any more and I'm liable to start spoiling stuff). This series is really just like Bocchi The Rock for me. It's so ridiculously good, and so insanely consistent that all I can do is repeat my praise in various manners and break down some of the aspects/choices of the episode. It's so incredible that there's just no way left to praise it. In 4 or even fewer episodes, it's exhausted all possible unique praise for animation, direction, art, character acting, music.... just kind of everything. So uh yeah, Anime of The Season hands down, and unless some sort of miracle happens with the Fall season, Anime of The Year.

#heavenly delusion #tengoku daimakyou #天国大魔境 #production i.g #mori hirotaka #kiruko #maru #anime recommendation #anime review #anime and manga #anime #horror anime

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