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#like she does some things that if Taylor did it it would become a THING you know
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I'm still not over Taylor's Fortnight MV... to say it's my favorite visual work she's done would be an understatement. As with all things on this album, she did her research. Her incredible DP - Rodrigo Prieto - who has shot The Man, Cardigan, and Willow MVs. As well as, Brokeback Mountain, The Barbie Movie, Killer of the Flower Moon, etc.
There are so many ways to parse the story of the Fortnight video, but I will mostly focus on Taylor's use of mirroring to make some of the video's larger points.
I am a queer former film student so I wanna note that that's the bias I'll be writing from. If that disinterests you, no worries! This just may not be for you.
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Love that we start with silent film era titles. One is black, one is white, perhaps a ying yang visual or simply representing the original album + the anthology. Could also be the light + dark of her two sides represented by Taylor and Post Malone.
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The vertical alignment shift in the word Fortnight is interesting because the other time i noticed her doing this was in the closing poem for TTP with, "Some stars never align." Would be cute to have it like a nod to screenplay scene heading: INT. FORT - NIGHT
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We start with Taylor, virtually still, but singing. She's handcuffed to an askew bed frame - sans mattress - with bars resembling a prison/cage.
The mirroring she's doing here is reminding us of "real life" Taylor's outfit at the 2024 Grammy's, but with the addition of white gauzy gloves + garter belt (like on tour), it reads more bridal, more bed sheet. That similar clock necklace is set to, best as I can tell, 9pm.
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And she's got enough hairpins to... idk... make me spin out? Her make up evokes a little Clara Bow, Greta Garbo, legends of the silver screen, etc.
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Taylor stops lip-syncing. Breaking the fourth wall, with direct eye contact, she's forced a "Forget Him" pill and unshackled from her bed prison. Unlike the next instance we get this match shot, it feels like she's telling the audience she knows we're watching and her look has a "this is what I'm forced to do" anger charged to it.
Also, the pill itself seems to break Taylor's reality from here on out. She "forgets him," but perhaps also becomes a different him herself.
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She walks over, in her wacky funhouse of a prison room - skewed angles, upside down doors (those who enter from the left walk on the "ceiling" - to an actual mirror. But this mirror looks more like a one-way mirror. Meaning that the subject can see themselves, but so can others they can't see on the other side. Usually so the subject can be observed.
Still appropriate to break the fourth wall as though we are watching her in a way she can't return.
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She wipes her face to reveal Post Malone's tattoos under the veneer of her prerfect facade. Once done, she utters the first "I want to kill her." She wants to "kill" Taylor TM?
I'll basically be going forward assuming that Post Malone is established in this mirror shot as a representation of Taylor, perhaps her True Taylor underneath the engineered perfection. This door/portal splits her in two on entry. From one white-clad figure to two black-clad ones. Kind of like the splitting of a prism.
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Instead of exiting this upside down asylum, she goes deep into a department - perhaps the Tortured Poets kind. We get an awesome match cut/panning transition where Grammy dress referential Taylor morphs into a Victorian mourning dress. One very similar to the dresses on stage during Folklore during Eras (at the bottom of post). Perhaps also a nod to Emily Dickinson herself.
The way they design the set to make it so her asylum and office are connected feels like a not so subtle call out on how she feels about her chosen industry. Not quite a cheery take on the Lover House for ex. Time also becomes a little bendy, irrelevant when she does this portal walk.
When she enters she sits at a mirrored desk, morphing into Post Malone's silhouette. To the side we have faceless writers, also dressed in black older fashions, that seem to go on for infinity like a mirror trick.
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Taylor sits down to start writing, Post Malone is already typing. They're both in black with embellished collars. We see that she has a top sheet with typed words, but under they're blank. Post has a pile next to him, along with his fountain pen, which perhaps are fully done b/c placement on the other side of him. Their desks are also arranged ever so slightly different. So Post-Taylor is a typing machine, Taylor needs to catch up...
But then Post Malone looks up to create this awesome mirrored match cut.
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Taylor and Post-Taylor get to work, singing the chorus, camera cutting on their lines in mirror shots respectively.
We see a typewriter jam the same lines from the song, but specifically "I LOVE YOU." Granted, we can't be 100% sure whose typewriter it is, but we see Taylor type "Love You." Perhaps they're mirroring each other in even this task.
Eventually their stories starts leaking blue and orange/gold ether which prisms out to reveal "The Story of Us."
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Really great shot of the infinity vanishing point effect from the unidentified crowd, how they're positioned makes them look like they're mirroring all of us watching/sharing our opinions.
This is where I'll stop for Part 1 because it's not ok how late this album has been keeping me up.
But a couple of things to start:
Taylor using very strong, very consistent mirroring techniques to create distinctions from narrator, character, and audience. Even the music is mirrored in the chorus with Post Malone's repetition.
By both wearing the face tattoos under a perfect exterior (the face we know her by), and immediately separating into two characters - one with her face/gender expression as we know it and Post-Taylor who now wears the face tattoos we just saw/is also sporting the face and gender expression we are familiar with him. It's Taylor TM the Brand vs Hidden (in plain sight) Identity Taylor.
Her typewriter emits an orange/golden glow from all of her repeated "I LOVE YOU'S," while his emits blue. Together they're creating the next story vignette: "The Story of Us."
One basic read for this is that Taylor could be owning her male POVs that come up in her songs (Folklore we're looking at you). Another read I have is that Taylor TM is writing the love song framework expected from her as an artist while Post-Taylor injects the devastation, anger, emotion, the heavy blues we often unearth from a song we originally thought was upbeat, romantic, unassuming. And considering these mirrored halves, I think that aligns with her own messages about her music, that people will always going looking for paternity tests - the publicized romance pulled from what we think we know about her. But perhaps the assumed truths of a song could be, and often are, driven by your gendered expectations - "Girl loves boy, sings about that." The hidden in plain sight Taylor subverts what the surface level shows.
The True Taylor is an unrecognizable author. And that writer is producing the meat of the work.
Additionally, I love that she's wearing a dress that feels taken off the Era's stage.
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Folklore in particular was a really different writing era for her. She presented the characters and stories as fiction and all the sudden an unknown male collaborator — William Bowery — gets credited on it. I'd love if the message, in part, was hey I'm actually my own male writing partner. Regardless, her other half/POV was able to allow her to write truths so long as they remained unrecognizable.
But she's wearing the mourning dress, looking over at her hidden true half, looking over anxiously. And then begins to write. They're half the story that makes up the whole, one needing the other to tell the story they want to tell. Perhaps it's a call out to Folklore in particular as a solution to being limited by expectations of her signature diaristic-like songs' perspectives. Using it as a way to tell a version of the truth from a POV society or the powers that be in her life would accept it from — not Taylor TM as she is/who she's known to be.
More generally, the "male pov" and the male pronouns, just seem to be called irrelevant smoking guns in the game of knowing the unknowable - what her work, a lot of her work, is referencing specifically. These two writers, as presented, are still both Taylor. Them's the rules here. Ok, see you in PT. 2!
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trashywormeateroffics · 4 months
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the great war (bucky barnes x female reader)
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the gif is not mine!
summary: you get jealous and have a fight with bucky. inspired by the great war by taylor swift.
a/n: hey anon!!! sorry it took so long. i have no excuse. anyways, i hope you enjoy this!!! <333 also i am once again asking u to send me requests with marvel characters (natasha/bucky/loki) and taylor swift songs so i can write a one shot about it !!!! bye love u
masterlist
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you don't know how it all happened. one second, everything was perfect. the next, you were acting like a crazy person and saying horrible and hurtful things. and now you're pretty sure you've officially lost him forever.
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it all started with her. agent carpenter. pretty, blue eyed blonde, flirty, perfect agent carpenter.
“alright everyone,” tony begins and the people in the meeting fall into silence. “as you all know, a new member is joining us on the avengers initiative.” they all nod, including you. “her name is samara carpenter and she was personally recruited by fury. which means she's very good at what she does.” the billionaire looks at steve and he nods, taking the lead.
“alright, i want you all to be nice and welcoming. especially you buck.” he says, making most of the people there snort. you look at him.
“what did i do now?” bucky asks, incredulous.
“nothing yet, but if you just stare at her and don't greet her like a normal person she'll leave this team as fast as she came.” sam tells him. the grumpy super soldier rolls his eyes.
“whatever, bird-brain.”
steve shakes his head in disapproval of the two bickering idiots but soon enough he's back on track with the presentation.
bucky's rough gaze scans the room until it falls on you. his eyes soften when he sees that you are already looking at him. you give him a soft and playful smile, which he returns.
after the meeting is done and everyone is dismissed, you head to your room.
not five seconds pass until someone knocks on the door. you smile, because you know who it is.
“come in!” you sing-song.
when he enters, you can't help but stare at him. you've been together for a year now but you still couldn't believe that he was yours. he was so beautiful, so funny, so kind, so dumb sometimes, just so… him. you loved him so much. yet you still hadn't said it. you were trying to take things slow, for both of your sakes.
“hey.” you tell him as he closes the door behind him. he has a look on his face which you recognize. something's bothering him.
“c'mere.” you pat the spot next to you on the bed.
he wastes no time in dropping himself unceremoniously on the mattress and letting out a sigh.
you begin to run your hands through his hair.
“d'you think i'm scary?” he asks with a pout adorning his beautiful pink lips. god, you want to kiss him so badly. so that's what you do. you peck his lips and then immediately shake your head with a smile.
“do you think that adorable pout could be scary?” he purses his lips to stop himself from smiling, but still, a small smile plays on his lips.
“y/n, i'm being serious.” he sighs. you do too.
“maybe to some people you could be. not to me though.”
“but when you first met me-”
“i was too busy thinking about how hot you were to worry about you being scary.” he laughs. god, how you love that sound. you would ridicule yourself to hear it. “is this about what steve and sam said?”
he shrugs.
“i just… hate that i'm so socially inadequate.”
you hand in his hair stops. he furrows his brows.
“bucky,” you begin, “we are a bunch of weirdos, all of us. there is not one person on this team who is socially adequate.”
“but at least the others can fake it, you can fake it.”
“you know what my favorite thing about you was when we first started to become friends?” you ask and he shakes his head. “that your face said it all. if you weren't in the mood for something, i could tell from a mile away, and in return, if something excited you, it would be contagious.” you caress his cheek and he leans into your touch. “and when i couldn't pretend, i always knew you were there to just sit in silence with me. no expectations to be socially acceptable.”
“i don't know how you do it.” he sighs. you frown.
“do what?”
“make every bad thing about me sound so… good.”
your frown deepens.
“hey.” you straddle him and grab his face in between both your hands. “you are perfect. just like you are. don't you dare change yourself.” you tell him firmly. then you purse your lips. “unless you totally want to for whatever reason and i would totally support you because-” you suddenly fall silent. he looks at you, expectant for you to finish your sentence. “because you know i'm here for you, no matter what.”
he smiles softly.
“i know, doll. me too, i'm always here for you no matter what.” you purse your lips to stop yourself from spilling your heart out of your mouth as you caress his cheekbone with your thumb.
“how about we watch a movie? you can pick.”
he pecks your lips and nods.
you spend what is left of the day watching movies and cuddling.
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two days after that meeting, she arrives. you're all hanging around the common kitchen when steve appears with someone trailing behind him.
“everyone, this is agent carpenter.”
“please, call me samara. or sammie even.”
“sammie, nice to meet you.” sam is the first one to greet her. “i'm sam wilson, but the coolest avenger is fine too.”
you shake your head and roll your eyes. then, you take a step forward, but before you can introduce yourself and welcome her to the team, you see her eyes flicking over to something right next to you. or someone. her eyes shine with curiosity and attraction.
“hi, nice to meet you.” she smirks. you swallow slowly.
bucky gives her a nod, but then he seems to remember what steve and sam told him and attempts to give her a smile.
“hi, i'm bucky.”
“bucky,” she repeats slowly, almost tasting the name in her mouth. she's about to say something else but before she can, you speak up.
“i'm y/n. welcome to the team.” you smile as honestly as you possibly can, but dread fills your stomach.
“hi!” she smiles at you. “you're so pretty, oh my god!”
you give her a tight smile.
“thank you.”
“of course!”
the rest of the team introduces themselves, even though she insists she already knows almost all of them and then you all go about your day.
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it had been a month since she arrived at the compound. you had seen her a few times, mostly during training. but you didn’t particularly go out of your way to talk to her. there was something you didn’t like. maybe it was your intuition, or maybe it was the fact that she did seem to go out of her way to talk to your boyfriend. and he did not seem upset by that, the opposite actually. he seemed to enjoy it.
you were not a jealous person, least of all with bucky. but something about her irked you. something about her made you doubt yourself and everything you believed in.
“i like her,” natasha says while she paints her nails, laying on her stomach on your bed.
wanda hums in agreement while she flips through the pages of a beauty magazine. you don’t say anything.
“what about you, y/n?”
“um, yeah.” you try to give them a convincing smile but based on the looks they give you, you do not succeed.
“okay, spill the tea.” wanda tells you. had she been learning internet lingo?
you sigh.
“i just- i don’t know.” you shake your head. “doesn’t something feel off to you?”
“not really.” wanda says as natasha narrows her eyes.
“you’re jealous.” she finally decrees.
“i’m not.” you respond defensively.
“you’re jealous that she seems to be getting along with barnes.”
“i-“ you begin your sentence with the intention of uttering a lie, but it dies right on your tongue. “i am. but i don’t want to be.” you confess.
“explain yourself.” she tells you in a tone that could sound commanding and harsh to someone else, but you know it’s filled with care. she’s your best friend, she would never hurt you on purpose. so is wanda, who looks at you with a knowing look you can’t seem to pinpoint the reason for.
“i just- i don’t know. he’s never like that with anyone. since when is he the type to joke around with someone?” you shake your head. “i’m an asshole, cause i should be happy for him. he’s putting himself out there. but i can’t. i’m jealous. so cliche.” you huff.
“you’re not an asshole. an asshole would make a whole scene, give him an ultimatum or something like that. you’re just expressing your feelings to your friends.”
“and, y/n, we all have those ugly feelings. they are human.” wanda tells you, softly. “you should talk to him about it.”
“what if he gets mad?”
“y/n, please. that man adores you, he could never get mad at you. least of all for this.”
maybe they’re right. maybe that’s the healthiest thing to do. and even as you agree with them, you know you will not talk to him about this. because he will realize that you’re right, and that there is so much more to the world than just… you.
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“come on! you just have to put it in the oven!”
you hear her before you see her. you weren’t expecting to see him though.
right there, almost as if mocking you, they stand. cooking together. he looks so comfortable around her.
they seem to be wrapped up in their own little bubble, so you clear your throat. immediately, they turn to look at you. he widens his eyes, almost looking guilty.
“james found me and i asked him to join me.” she explains, but you stop paying attention the moment she says his name. she called him james.
“james?” you narrow your eyes in question.
he seems to want to say something because he opens his mouth like a fish out of water but you leave mumbling an excuse about training with nat before he can utter a word.
back in your room, you fall to the floor and break down. you knew she was trouble the moment she walked in, but you weren’t expecting this to happen so soon.
heartbroken, you get up from where you’re sitting and head to your bathroom.
the girl in the mirror looks defeated, but you feel angry. if he didn't need you anymore, then you didn’t need him either.
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the days after that, you ignore him, always having an excuse at the tip of your tongue to not hang out with him. he doesn’t seem to care that much. until, you suppose, after three days, he begins caring.
“doll, can we talk?”
“hm?” you play dumb. you encountered each other in the common kitchen. that damned place, you hated it now, but you were hungry.
“i asked you if we can talk. you seem… distant.” his brows are furrowed. you only know that because you turned to look at him only for a second. other than that, your gaze doesn’t meet his. “come on, y/n, i know something’s wrong.”
you look at him and smile sarcastically.
“you do?”
“yes. please, let’s ta-“
“hey guys!” you roll your eyes at her voice.
“have fun you two!” you tell them, smiling venomously, only looking at him before you leave.
“is everything okay?” she asks.
“i’m sorry samara, i can’t talk right now.” you hear him say before you hear his footsteps getting closer to you in the hallway.
“y/n!” he calls out to you when you get into the elevator without looking behind you. before the doors can close, you see his metal arm get in between them. he gets in and they close. once they do, he hits the stop button. then, he turns to you. he frows when he sees the hate in your eyes. “y/n, what is going on?”
you scoff.
“fuck off, james.” you tell him, your voice full of venom. he widens his eyes in surprise before narrowing them.
“oh, so that’s it? you’re jealous and that’s why you’re avoiding me and acting crazy now?”
“i’m not jealous, but i’m not blind either.” you clench your jaw. “and don’t call me crazy.”
“you are blind if you think something’s going on with her.” he tells you. you roll your eyes and then tilt your head.
“when was the last time you let someone call you james? when was the last time you cooked with someone who was not steve?” he begins breathing heavily. you laugh and bite your lip incredulously. “i think you took the whole being friendly thing too serious.”
“i can't believe you right now.” he shakes his head. “you're angry because i'm not being an asshole to her?”
you scoff.
“oh, please, james.” he clenches his jaw.
“stop calling me that.”
“oh, so i can't call you that but she can?”
“you know that's not-”
“you know what? go ahead. let her call you james. fuck her in the middle of the common room for all i care. lets see how long she puts up with you.” you regret the words as soon as they leave your mouth but its too late, a deep hurt covers his face. still, you can't stop. you're too hurt, too scared. too goddamn stupid. “you think she's going to console you while you have your nightmares?” you laugh venomously. “you think she's going to accept you, all of you?” as you keep talking, his expression turns from pained to angry. resentful even.
he turns to the panel control of the elevator and pushes the stop button so the elevator will move again.
“you know what?” he glances at you and you're almost taken aback by the distant look in his eyes. “maybe i'll fuck her. maybe i'll even date her too. she's probably not as desperate and clingy as you.”
“fuck you.” you spit out.
the doors open, he steps outside. before he leaves, he turns to look at you.
“yeah, you too.”
after the doors close again, you fall to the floor and let out a heart-wrenching sob. you never thought it would end like this.
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four days. four fucking, horrible, long days bucky has been gone from the compound. you try to ask steve about it, because you know he knows where he is, but he won't tell you. even though you two are close friends and he never got in the middle of a fight between you two– even though you two never fought– he seemed angry. at you. you didn't know if he knew the reason for the fight, but he knew you were in the wrong, that much you knew.
these days all you do is cry, sleep, eat and repeat. you're way past heartbroken, you're miserable, inconsolable. it's all your fault. this prison of sadness was your own making.
you miss him. god, you miss him. you wonder how he is. did he already fuck someone else? did he regret ever being with you?
you don't dare text or call him. you're too embarrassed. you acted like a crazy person, and said awful, horrific things. and you're pretty sure he'll never forgive you. but what will you do then? how will you build a life without him? oh god, you're crying again. great, just great, you think as you turn around in your bed. who were you without him?
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its the sixth day of his absence when you go talk to steve. you drag yourself from your bed, with your swollen and red rimmed eyes and knock on his door.
“y/n…” he tells you, pity dripping from his tone.
“hey…” you try to give him a fake smile, but as soon as the corners of your mouth move, they turn downwards into a frown, and you start crying. sobbing really. inconsolable sobs leave you as steve wraps you up in his arms.
“hey, hey, it's okay.”
“no, it's not! i hurt him! i don't know why i did it, but i did!” you sob.
“hey,” he pulls away from you a bit to look you in the eyes, “come in. come on, come on.” he tells you as you slowly make your way inside.
you sit down on the edge of his bed and he sits down next to you.
“steve, is he- is he okay?”
he looks at you. you know him, so you know that that look means he isn't.
“he's safe though.”
“i really messed up.”
“i know.”
“he told you?”
“he didn't need to. i saw it on camera. wanted to know why the elevator stopped working for a while.”
you put your head in your hands and begin sobbing again.
“oh my god.” you sob. “i-i'm so sorry you had to see that. i dont… i dont know what-” a hiccup escapes you. “i can't-” another hiccup. “oh god…” your shoulders shake as you sob into your hands.
“hey…” he draws comforting circles on your back, but nothing can comfort you. not when he's hurt and hates you and it's all your fault. “hey.”
“steve, how can i fix it? can i even-” hiccup, “can i even fix it?”
he looks at you with pity.
“i don't know, y/n. i think he's gonna need some time.”
“oh my god.” you say. steve had always rooted for you two, so if he's saying it can't be fixed it really means it can't. “i'm going to die.”
“you're not going to die.”
“i can't live without him. i can't.” you shake your head frantically. “please, just tell me where he is. i need to-”
“i dont think it's a good idea.” he tells you sympathetically.
“please,” you beg him, “please, i need to- if it ends…” more tears fall from your eyes. “it can't end like that. please. he deserves more than that.”
he looks at you, seemingly pondering what you're saying. you look at him the whole time, pleading. he sighs. he's going to tell you.
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you look at the old building that seems to be deteriorating with each passing second. you straighten down your clothes (steve insisted you get properly showered and dressed) and take a deep breath. he's staying at a safe house in brooklyn. of course. it was so predictable and so him, you almost decided to leave. maybe you should let it end how it ended. what if this time it was worse? but you didn't have the luxury to think like that. it was over, but you needed him to remember you as the good times you shared, not that damned last time.
you enter the building and go up the stairs to the seventh floor, since there is no elevator.
when you reach his door, a green one who looked like if you blew on it it would fall down, you freeze. what are you even supposed to say to him? hi, bucky, sorry i told you she wouldn't be able to put up with you, insinuating that you are hard to love, hope everythings okay between us! ugh, you wanted the earth to swallow you whole.
you take another deep, slow breath, because you know otherwise he'll be able to hear you. then, you knock two times.
when the door opens he takes your breath away. this time not because he's gorgeous but because you're so scared that you fear you're going to pass out.
“what do you want?” he asks harshly. you feel tears prick your eyes but you blink them away.
“hear me out, please.”
“no, thank you.” he goes to close the door, but you swiftly get inside before he does. he slams the door behind him when he turns around to look at you, now inside the apartment, looking uncomfortable and out of place. “i told you i didn't want to hear you out.”
“just-”
“leave.”
“one second-”
“leave, y/n.”
“bucky-”
“oh, so now i'm bucky?” your lip wobbles.
“you're always bucky.”
“not last time we talked.”
“that's why i'm here.” he lifts his chin, looking at you with so much indifference you wonder if he ever looked at you with love in his eyes.
“i don't care to hear you explain yourself.” a tear escapes your eye. you dry it with your sleeve harshly. his face seems to soften for a second but then it goes back to its harshness.
“i'm not here- i'm not here to explain myself.” he looks at you.
“why are you here then?” you sigh.
“remember that time you took me to feed the ducks on that park?”
“yes. so?”
you smile softly as tears fall down your face.
“that was the time i told you i wanted to be your girlfriend. no one ever took me to such a silly date.” you chuckle softly. then you frown in pain looking at the floor now. he shifts his weight from one feet to the other, impatient.
“what's your point?”
“that's how i'd like you to remember me.”
“what?” you look at him. he's frowning.
“i know that the last time we talked i was… crazy. i just- i know theres no going back, but id like, for the sake of what we had, for you to not remember me like that.” you tell him. “because we were more than that.” the last word comes out broken to give way to a silent sob. you try to compose yourself. “I'm sorry. don't pay attention to that.” you give him a fake smile, which you know he can see right through.
“y/n-”
“okay, i'll leave. but… come back to the compound. i'll move out if you want me to, just, don't stay away from your friends just because of me.” you go to leave, walking past him, when he grabs your arm. when you turn around there are unshed tears in his eyes.
“i don't care about the compound. or about remembering you.” oh. you widen your eyes and heavy tears leave them.
“okay, i'm- i'm sorry for suggesting-”
“no.” you nod, understanding. “no, no.” he repeats. he grabs you by the shoulders and he crouches so he's eye level with you. “i don't want to have to remember you.”
you frown.
“but, bucky-”
“but i probably should.” he cuts you off.
“yeah,” you laugh humorlessly as you cry. “you should. i'm sorry. i never should've come here. i'm sorry.”
“stop saying sorry and explain to me what the hell happened.” you tilt your head.
“i… i got jealous.”
“that's it? that's why you hurt me?” he asks. you look down. this was it. he was giving you a chance. explain yourself like you never have before, you think to yourself.
“i never got why you were with me-”
“stop saying were. this could end today, but as of now, were still together.” you purse your lips. “hey, hey, its okay.” he says softly as he puts his hands on your cheeks and wipes the tears that begin falling again with his thumbs.
“im sorry-” he looks at you pointedly. you nod. “i just… i don't understand why you're with me. im not- im nothing like you.” you begin. he frowns. “you are kind and thoughtful and amazing and im- im not good like you.”
“what? y/n, you're the best person i know.”
“you can't still think that.” he looks at you honestly. he does? “see? you're so- and i'm so…”
“lets sit down.” he tells you and you both do, on the old couch thats near the window. he gestures for you to continue.
“i just- you'll never get it. and thank god you won't. but im not- im not a natural, you know? not like you, not like her.” you fidget with your hands. “you guys, the team, you like me because i'm fake. you wouldn't if you knew the real me. but i showed it to you pretty easily, i guess.” you laugh without a trace of humor. he frowns. then, he grabs your hand and caresses your knuckles. bucky takes a deep breath before speaking.
“y/n, i like- no, scratch that. i love you because i know you.” your face contorts in pain. you start crying heavily again. “hey, hey, come on baby, talk to me.”
“i just… she's so… perfect. for everyone, for you.”
“i don't want her, i want you.”
“you cant want me after what i said to you. i hurt you and i'll never forgive myself for that.”
“yes, you hurt me. but you were hurt too, i just didn't see it.”
“im so scared you'll wake up one day and realize there is so much more to the world than… me.” you sob and cover your face with your hands.
bucky pulls your hands away from you face and pulls you into his lap.
“listen to me.” he tells you firmly. “there is nothing more to the world than you. you are it for me, y/n. i love you.”
“bucky-” you hiccup. “i'm so sorry i said that about you. i promise you i just said it to you because i- i was lashing out. anyone would accept and love you, you are literally the most amazing-” hiccup, “person-” hiccup, “in the universe.”
he smiles softly at you and the unshed tears come back, but this time, he lets them fall.
“baby, listen to me. i love you. i'm not going anywhere.” you open your mouth to speak but he beats you to it. “and i forgive you. i promise you i don't resent you. i know what it's like to lash out when you're hurt.”
“bucky-” you sob against his chest.
“shh, baby, its okay.” he soothes you, rubbing comforting circles on your back. “it's okay, i got you.”
you take a shuddering breath and lift your head from his chest to look at him. you grab his face with both your hands.
“i promise you i'll never lash out again. im so sorry. i-” he gives you a pointed look. “i know. im not saying sorry anymore. sor-” you purse you lips and he lets out a laugh. then, he shakes his head incredulous and looks at you with so much adoration in his eyes you feel like you're going to pass out from all the love you feel for this man. “can i kiss you?” you ask him shyly.
“please.”
and so you do. the kiss is soft, vulnerable, you're telling him how sorry you are, how much you love him, and thats when you remember you didn't say it.
he whines when you pull away, something that makes you smile.
“bucky,”
“yeah, baby?”
“i love you. so much i feel like i'm going to throw up.” he lets out a loud laugh.
“i love you more, doll.”
you spend the rest of the day cuddled up on that couch in that old apartment, not ready to go to the compound yet. but you do send a text to steve before turning off your phone to spend time with the love of your life. you almost lost him, but you didn't, and as you lay in that old mattress on the floor, while he makes love to you and whispers of words of adoration and devotion fill your ears, you vow to him one thing. you'll always be his.
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ewingstan · 3 months
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I've been coming back to this once-friend that Taylor brings up when she's revealing how she triggered in 4.3. Its strange; this one girl is never brought up again, doesn't even get named. She's not involved in the locker incident, play's no actual role in the triggering event itself, is supremely incidental in terms of what actually happens. But in her explanation, Taylor spends more time talking about her then she does about the Trio.
The first time I read this, I was expecting another shoe to drop: the friend would be the one who pushes her into the locker, she'd reveal that she'd only been pretending to be her friend the whole time, something like that. But we don't get that at all. We get Taylor being suspicious, we get her becoming comfortable opening up to this person, and then we get her humiliating incident severing the connection. The way Taylor brings it up, its clear that forming that one friendship and then having it taken away, revealed as always conditional and brittle, fucked her up almost as much as the bullying itself did.
I think you can get some fascinating readings of her behavior and worldview throughout the rest of Worm with this in mind. Its especially exciting to have in mind when looking at her early interactions with the Undersiders: her skittishness towards Brian and Lisa, who both seem friendly towards her but who she has good reason to believe will drop her in the future. Her own desire to sever the relationship by turning them in (it wouldn't last anyway), her absurd desire to not burn bridges with them while doing so (it would be nice if they could still look each other in the eye after everything). I think it explains why she's so eager to share the most traumatic and humiliating thing that happened to her so quickly in their relationship; if people break away once it becomes clear how much of a victim she is, how much she's a loser, she should make it clear to them just how much of a loser and a victim she is from the jump. Better for the break to happen before they get too attached. The dread she feels telling it, the surprise that they meet her with sympathy instead of jeering her or pulling away, makes a lot more sense from that angle.
It also contextualizes her leaving the Undersiders to turn herself in. I've argued before that Taylor largely processes things through the dichotomy of bully/victim. A running theme in Worm is Taylor adopting the behaviors and strategies of people she labels as bullies, such as Sophia and Bakuda. Attempts to bring control to her life by not being someone to fuck with, even if its for different ends than those she emulates. If a lot of her behavior as a Warlord parallels the trio, then her cutting ties when the Undersiders are closest to her parallels the ex-friend.
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bethanydelleman · 6 months
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There’s a new book out called The Darcy Myth that says in the summary that P&P is actually a “horror novel” about how scary love is for women… I know the Bennet sisters’ situation is precarious but to call it a “horror novel” ? :P
Okay... so... ug.... did this woman even read Pride & Prejudice? Because from the news coverage I would say no. Let me highlight some passages from the article:
Darcy should be considered the main antagonist of the famous love story
Not Wickham? Not the man who runs off with literal teenage girls?
Darcy pays Wickham to marry Lydia, saving her reputation, and later tells Elizabeth, “I thought only of you” when acting. For Feder, this phrase is proof of the hero’s self-interest. Darcy condemns Lydia to a life with an amoral man, all so the Bennets don’t become so disreputable that he won’t be able to marry the woman he loves.
Um, sorry, but no. Darcy tried to get Lydia away FIRST, she refused, he respected Lydia's autonomy as a human being. Becoming brother-in-law to Wickham was probably worse for Darcy personally than Lydia being "ruined"
I found Feder’s exploration of “Pride and Prejudice”as a Gothic novel — rather than a comedy of manners — far more compelling than her critique of Darcy.
Wut? No. Not even a little bit, what? That is a different genre.
“Darcy helped codify the dominant expectation that potential romantic partners — especially heterosexual men — are not only still eligible but in fact more appealing when they play a little hard to get, even if playing hard to get involves cruelty, insults, expressions of disinterest, ruining your beloved sister’s chances of happiness, and other red flags,” she writes. Women spend their time, energy and emotions on men who, quite simply, are not worth their effort.
Okay, except ELIZABETH NEVER TRIES ANYTHING WITH DARCY. She just sits there and he falls in love with her. If she did put effort into any relationship it was with Wickham, who again, is presented as a massive red flag in the end. This line of argument is wild.
Yet, seeing the sheer number of times women pursue cruel men in pop culture laid out one after another — in Disney movies, Taylor Swift songs and much more — is affecting. Feder concludes convincingly that this cultural conviction harms women in the same way the patriarchal boundaries of the regency did. She writes: “If we zoom out, we see that the Darcy myth also helps to prop up and fortify a very Gothic, patriarchal universe that is, and always has been, scary for anyone who is not a very particular type of man. After all, if we are trained from childhood to invest ourselves in men who treat us poorly, aren’t we more likely to end up in abusive situations and under threat of assault?”
Okay, so this is a valid point, but it also is based on a misreading of Pride & Prejudice or is heavily influenced by adaptations. Darcy isn't cruel, he's snobby and somewhat rude but definitely NOT cruel. Wickham is exactly the type of man you want to avoid: charming until he isn't.
ALSO WHAT DISNEY PRINCE IS AN ASSHOLE??? @princesssarisa? Can you be offended at that one in my stead?
So... this book sounds like rage-bait insanity and I won't be reading it until proved otherwise. Putting it on the avoid shelf along with Secret Radical.
Last note: There is a valid point to be made that jerks or dark broody men have been romanticized, but Austen DOES NOT DO THAT. That is not an Austen thing. Use an actual problematic Gothic or Byronic hero.
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wavesoutbeingtossed · 27 days
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TTPD Track Speculation/Prediction: @wavesoutbeingtossed Edition
Against my better judgment, I’m putting down my predictions before I am proven completely wrong on April 19.
on the other hand I did correctly attribute all of the 1989 TV vault track teaser lyrics to their songs before it was released so maybe I’m just that good jk.
I’m putting everything under a cut because it’s long and mostly just shooting the shit but it’s a long weekend so what the heck!
I started writing this the night the album was announced at the Grammys in February, so obviously things may have evolved in the meantime. It will be very interesting to see just how wrong I am!
Here be speculation, musings, jokes and more! Enter at your own risk!
SOUND:
I honestly have NO CLUE. I’ve said many, many times that I would be absolutely gagged for an Americana-folk type sound like Carolina/Safe and Sound/some of her acoustic performances on tour. I don’t really expect TTPD to sound quite that stripped back, though. (Prove me wrong, Taylor!)
I am kind of feeling pop-rock-y though, à la WCS, TTDS, based on absolutely nothing but that is also a genre/sound I love that I am begging to hear more on albums.
Completely off the wall guess: Something more jazzy-big band-y, based on nothing but her styling in recent months on the red carpet that harkens back to golden age of Hollywood vibes (especially the Grammys), the inclusion of Clara Bow (renowned flapper girl) on the track list, and the way she keeps talking about being grateful fans accept her bending and switching genres over the years and support her when she does “weird” things.
FORMAT (?)
OK this is just me spitballing, but I said awhile back that I am just getting vibes that there may be, like, a story within a story with this. As in, using some fictional settings as an allegory for the story about herself. The example I used then was The Lumineers, and how they wrote their album III about three generations of a fictional family dealing with addiction, which was an allegory for the lead singer’s own family’s experience with it (without directly calling out the family member in question at the time). There were characters in the album, but many of the songs were sung from an “I”/“you” perspective. I may not be explaining myself well, but I wouldn’t be surprised if there are “fictional” stories in that they’re sung about characters (e.g. Clara Bow?), but it will be obvious to fans that she’s using the characters to speak about herself and her experiences. I’m just getting big “storytelling” energy from the hints. Which means I’m totally wrong!!!! Don’t listen to me!!! (I do think there will be some shades of this somehow, though.)
TRACK LIST SPECULATION
Fortnight: Think you are all on the money about it being the time between the start of tour and when Joever happened for good. Sort of a “two years of uncertainty coming to a head in two weeks” thing. Spending two weeks agonizing over what to do. Two weeks for your whole life to blow up. Finally being removed from the situation and grasping onto your dreams that have been on hold for years and realizing your mind’s made up because you won’t give this part of you up even if it means letting go of what you thought your future held. But another thing I’ve thought of: some common wisdom claims it takes two weeks for a new routine to become a habit, so… outside chance it’s like, two weeks go by and you’re finally used to/accepted whatever it is you’re trying to kick? Also had a thought that there could be many two-week periods that can mark your life and give pause. 
The Tortured Poets Department: No idea really lol. For some reason I feel like this is going to be a little more experimental, “laying the groundwork for the defense” type of vibe, kinda like Mastermind, or using the investigative/academic metaphor to delve into it like, Mad Woman or Vigilante Shit. (Or: it could be super petty roasting the infamous group chat lol. In all seriousness though I would doubt that because I feel like this album is very much about Her… unless said group chat was so insufferable she needs to blast it on main.)
My Boy Only Breaks His Favourite Toys: I saw some talk on my dash about this giving renegade themes (you fire off missiles because you hate yourself but don’t you know you’re demolishing me), and I totally thought the same thing. Also those of you who pointed out the parallels to Cardigan are geniuses (when I was an old cardigan under someone’s bed you put me on and said I was your favorite). Again kinda think there might be some more metaphor in this but guessing it may be along the lines of “he’s only doing this because he knows I won’t leave” themes? It instantly gives dark and uneasy. It gives, the people you love are the ones you hurt the most. All signs point to Not Good.
(Or this is about Benji destroying his spin toys or is that just my cat that does that.)
Down Bad: Someone said (on Jaime’s blog I think*) that this is giving False God but icky and I can TOTALLY see that. (Then again I’ve always found False God sad in the sense that it’s like, “even when we fight so bad we can’t communicate we still have the sex holding us together.”) But, Taylor does like to take sayings with common meanings and twist them on their heads, so I also wouldn’t be surprised if “Down Bad,” isn’t referring to being down as in being horny for someone, but being down as in, feeling devastated/hopeless. (Or, even worse, mean both at the same time. 😵‍💫)
(*I wrote this post in February after the announcement, I don’t have a clue when any of this was said anymore sorry)
So Long, London: like a lot of people, I feel like this is her goodbye to the life they had and more importantly/poignantly, the dreams she had of their future. (I don’t know but, “remember looking at this room we loved cause of the light, now I just sit in the dark and wonder if it’s time” just feels like it’d be part of this story.) So because I’ve said that, watch it be an excoriation of London Boy lol. (You know I’m mad at a London Boy / who just really won’t leave Camden / Market in the afternoon / he hasn’t seen my American smile / in two months cause he won’t come to see me / when I have a show to do…) Feel like it’s going to gut us. BUT, also wonder if this is her “I’m getting the fuck out of dodge ROCK FLAG AND EAGLE” anthem haha. (Or: she ran away to London to escape the Bad Stuff but then got stuck in another kind of Bad Stuff living there for so long…)
But Daddy I Love Him: Pretty obviously the Little Mermaid reference. Very curious if the actual quote is in the song, or if it’s just named that to set the scene but the song instead is an expounding on the theme of giving up her voice for the sake of the relationship like Ariel. Also wonder if this is an overtly diaristic song or if she is going to use characters/figures/fiction to expand on the theme subtly, a little like Maisie Peters’ History of Man or Florence & The Machine’s Cassandra or even more pointedly like her own Last Great American Dynasty or The Lucky One. I do assume the overarching theme is going to be the push-pull between keeping her love and giving up things that are important to her to make that love work.  (Watch this be about her arguing with her father about marrying *** lol.)
The theme of giving up your voice/what you hold dear for love is so loaded, and has some parallels to Clara Bow’s story, which is also on the track list so… Lots to chew on I’m sure.
Fresh Out The Slammer: Totally think the reference to her locking herself up for years at home because she was scared in the Time POTY interview is a likely link to this. Feeling free after the weight of this decision is off her shoulders, yet the sheer terror at now being on her own and rebuilding her future. It could be uplifting but I could also see it being like pure chaos. BUT, a thought I had earlier is that, if this is a song that was written pre-Joever, maybe it’s about the aftermath of a rough patch. Like, we just got our get out of jail free cards, we made it through the other side of this Big Thing that almost ended us (e.g. the final blow in YLM), where do we go from here?
Florida!!!: Emphasis on the “!!!”!!! Honestly it had me at FLORENCE AND THE MACHINE. I’m soooooo curious and sooooooooooooo pumped for this one. I don’t want to let myself hope it’s going to sound like a Florence song BUT I HOPE IT SOUNDS LIKE A FLORENCE SONG. I’m going to guess it may be a reference to the first stop on tour after the news broke. Wasn’t that also a show where a ton of things went wrong? I can see it going so many ways! Is it a hopeful “Florida I’m coming for you you’re a symbol of my great escape my prison break my entire life crumbling and rising again”? An introspective “I never thought I’d have to rebuild my whole world after it imploded, in Florida of all places?!”? Is it a sarcastic “fucking Florida always the scene of the crime I can’t believe my life is falling apart and I need to go to FUCKASS FLORIDA oh great every thing that can go wrong with my show is FLORIDA!!!!”? Is it a rant about the corporate mouse? Or a scathing takedown of Republican politics ahead of the 2024 elections? (lol) Who’s to say?!
Guilty as Sin?: Sooooooooooo curious about this. I’m a Carolina Stan and I know there is 0% chance there is a link between the two songs other than the lyric which is a common term, but it does make me happy. My first thought about this one is that it’s going to be biting or self-reflective — kinda like the bridge of Is It Over Now? Or the chorus of Anti-Hero. As in, “what is it exactly that you think I’m guilty of?” (E.g. ambition? Drive? Seeking attention? Being selfish? But could also be sad: Loving too hard? Caring too much? Being too needy? Hmmm.) I’m kind of feeling like it’s a “if it’s wrong to be guilty of these things I don’t want to be right.” Again if I had to guess I’d wonder if it would have the same vibes as the bridge of YLM. (For some reason, with the question mark, I don’t necessarily think it’s going to be accusing someone of something…)* I also had a thought about the seven deadly sins and this title and… THOUGHTS ARE THINKING**.
(*I may not have found it accusatory in February, but with the benefit of hindsight in March I… reserve the right to change my mind about this.)
(**Future Waves here: the thoughts may have been thinking for February Waves but March Waves has no idea what she was talking about.)
Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?: I don’t knooooooooooow. At first the title kinda gave me Blank Space vibes, like, you don’t know how much I could fuck this up if I wanted. Then some people mentioned the similarity to Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? And now that’s absolutely all I can think about. If you’ve ever seen the movie (or the play), it is rooooooooough. Watching George and Martha drunkenly eviscerate each other as their guests watch on in horror is… oof. (As someone who has seen this happen in real life and was trapped on a boat with a couple in full unhinged mode… OOF. Just OOF.) Of course there’s the Burton-Taylor of it all too so… (there’s also an interesting theme in Virginia Woolf about buying into illusion to avoid the messiness of reality… and Martha resenting George’s lack of ambition.) Is this song cheeky? Or a threat? Is this a Better Than Revenge/Vigilante Shit rebuke or is it Bejeweled owning her personhood?
(Like any of these songs, there’s also the chance that it’s heartbreaking and is really a reflection on how the things that make her her can be weaponized against her… Or how her struggles/vices alienate her to the person she loves a la Anti-Hero…)
I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can): My first thought is this is going to be one of her sarcastic/satirical/funnier ones, based on nothing except that this sounds like it could be an Olivia Rodrigo cheeky song lol. (Like, I immediately start singing this to the tune of “Get Him Back.”) Never beat those allegations, Taylor, we’ve all been there. It definitely feels like a stereotypical tale of “girl tries to fix a man who doesn’t want to change and refuses to give up.” Watch this actually be a sad ballad about the flip side of renegade and trying to help a partner through a crisis 😬 
loml: the quiet menace in this list!!!! Obviously we’re all immediately thinking “love of my life,” but because this is Taylor, we should not rest easy. The fact that it’s all in small caps is curious to me and calls back to text speak, so is this a term of endearment that turns into a final parting sign off? Is it from an email ahem? Is it a sweet song about the good parts of being together? A wistful song about a lost love? BUT THEN, because it’s Taylor, I can totally see this being a bait and switch and it standing for something else as some of you pointed out, like loss of my life, or love OR my life. Or something entirely different. I’m pretty convinced that this one is going to be devastating in some fashion. I just feel it in my bones.
I Can Do It With a Broken Heart: Like many of you, I’m fairly certain this is going to be a bittersweet Long Live-esque ode to the Eras tour. The pick yourself up by the bootstraps, get out of bed, the show must go on and the show is saving my life story. Just thinking of the quote from the Time POTY interview where she said, “I know I’m going on that stage whether I’m sick, injured, heartbroken, uncomfortable, or stressed.” And in those early weeks, it seems like she might have been all of those things at once. Just trying to talk yourself into getting out of bed when all you want the earth’s core to swallow you whole and never come back. Kind of like, I can pick up the pieces of my life and carry on even when I am dying inside. 
The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived: Obviously this is about one Benjamin Button, please. OK, in all seriousness, it’s giving, well… *shots fired*. It’s giving “your integrity makes me seem small.” It’s giving “I’m a monster on the hill, too big to hang out.” It’s giving “all you are is mean.” So, part of me thinks it’s going to be turned on its head a little bit, just because… it seems to point to something directly and sometimes Taylor enjoys a bit of misdirection. So is this about someone who takes shots at someone else and in so doing, displays their own insecurity? Another thought I had is: Is this about someone who retreats into their own world so much that they’ve shut out everything and everyone else? Their whole world gets shrunken down to the four walls around them? I have a strong feeling this is an allegory-type song, using a fictionalized and possibly fantastical story to tell the real life one, but obviously I could be wrong.
The Alchemy: gonna be real with you all: I didn’t know that alchemy was the practice of turning base metals into something that looks like gold. I think I was mixing it up with apothecary or something, lol. I thought it was the practice of making potions and whatnot. #TheMoreYouKnow ANYWAY, I think the idea of “turning nothing into something that shines” is going to be important. Is it about using her best colours for a portrait to hide the cracks underneath? Is it about trying your best to make something work and thrive but ultimately coming up empty because the foundation is gone? Is it about turning these base experiences into art that fuels her? There are so many possibilities! (@taylortruther’s post about The Alchemy and other comments got me thinking too about the magician/illusionist scenario in So It Goes and now my brain is on fire.)
Clara Bow: Soooooooooo intrigued by this one too. People have pointed out so many of the interesting coincidences and parallels in their lives. Clara Bow was a silent film star who found her voice in the talkies — that right there is one metaphor about finding your voice in your art and your life. But it’s also an interesting parallel that she managed to parlay her success in silent film into talkies, at a time where few actors enjoyed a successful transition, which mirrors Taylor’s transition from country to pop. There’s the way Clara’s private life was splashed all over the press, driven by salacious rumours about her sex life and her perceived revolving door of lovers, which seems like something Taylor would empathize with. There’s the way she had a breakdown and left Hollywood, which may have some shades of 2016. Or that she got married and started a family, but insisted on keeping it a secret for many years to maintain privacy, which is interesting because in this case it seems like *Clara* was the one driving the need for secrecy, not her husband. (At least I read that in one article somewhere, sorry if that’s wrong!) Ultimately though, she died relatively young and was forgotten by mainstream Hollywood, a relic of a past uninteresting to all but the most diehard of film buffs. I’m getting vibes of “The Lucky One,”  (and “Nothing New”) both in themes and in storytelling. So, watch it be completely different and not a story about Clara Bow but instead just have it be an off-hand line lol.
BONUS TRACKS
The Manuscript: I’m veeeeeery intrigued by this one. (I know I say that about all of them. That’s because they all intrigue me.) I love the idea that this wraps up the “standard” album; the chair(wo)man of the Tortured Poets Department has submitted her thesis for review, and it’s up to the board to draw their conclusion. OR: the idea that this is the unfiltered submission to a publisher, before the editor’s review that will cut and tighten and ultimately make it better, but loses the author’s initial vision in the process. (Like self-editing to share the most palatable story to your reader. Which… Also gives Dear Reader/Midnights in general vibes.) OR EVEN: this is the author’s story, submitted to the audience for their review, leaving it up to them to draw their conclusions and annotate. There are sooooooo many ways I can see this going. 
The Bolter: A curious one indeed! I feel like of all of the bonus tracks at least, this is the one I have the least idea about. My immediate guess is that it refers to a person who runs, which would have all kinds of implications. Running from the law (unlikely lol), running from commitment, running from conflict… running for your life. Like running from commitment because you’re scared of being tied down (single girl version) to running from commitment because you’re scared of being tied down (bitter wife* version). (*NOT saying there was a secret wedding lol. I mean as in, that’s the future that was in store if one stayed.) I saw other takes saying bolter is also slang for jailer, which is also interesting with the Ready For It of it all. 
The Albatross: So much has been said about this one, so I don’t think I have much to ado about this one! The famous poem is rife with all kinds of allusions: the bird soaring on its own for up to six years, but being brought down by man’s cruelty. The bird looking majestic in the skies, but the burden of its wings dragging it down on land, slowly killing it. The story being a metaphor for how the very thing poets are exalted for in society are the things they are punished for personally. I think it’s safe to say this one is going to hurt regardless, whether it’s a reference to herself, to ***, or something else entirely.
The Black Dog: Also another one I’m not sure I have many thoughts on yet. The black dog being a metaphor for depression is likely the inspiration, and I’m assuming this has the potential to be one of the most vulnerable songs yet. I have a feeling most of this album will be, but the imagery of this — the black dog being a constant companion, wanted or not, casting a pall over its master’s every move — points in a pretty obvious direction. And one that is probably going to gut us.
Well there you have it folks! I am ready to be completely wrong!
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paracosmic-murdock · 8 months
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gold rush ; benedict bridgerton x reader (part two)
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pairing: benedict bridgerton x fem!reader
summary: after he found out the reason why you had been distancing from him, benedict decided he would do anything and everything to win you back. how unfortunate that he will not have it as easy as he firstly believed it to be.
warnings/tags: mutual pining, idiots in love, insane benedict bridgerton, married kate and anthony, platonic anthony bridgerton & reader, song: gold rush (taylor swift)
word count: 1.6K
❁ part 1 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5
❁ mila's paracosm (main masterlist)
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It was a whole new day, but for him it wasn't.
The thought of you being in love with him and him not being able to reciprocate your feelings, therefore, you hating him, was eating Benedict alive.
And the more he thought of it, the more he realized he had given you plenty of mixed signals throughout the years. His excitement every time he saw you? Asking you to dance at least twice every single ball? Painting portraits of you each and every time he could for all the assignments that required him to paint a woman? Buying you books every week? Mixed signals here and there because a man that does not love a woman doesn't do any of the things he has done for you since you became friends.
So he made a plan to get you to forgive him so you could be friends again.
One that began with him at your home.
One that didn't include seeing you and your parents chatting with an unknown man, who was, by the way, sitting so inappropriately close to you.
As he was about to leave, your mother's eyes landed on Benedict, and she said his name as she stood up.
He saw the way you tensed under his mention, but stood up nevertheless.
"Uh…" He cleared his throat. "My apologies, I did not mean to intrude. I shall return some other time."
"Nonsense, my dear!" your mother exclaimed. "Come on in, take a seat."
Benedict gave everyone an apologetic look and sat on the chair next to you.
"Good afternoon, Benedict. We have not seen you in quite a while here," your father noted. "Why is that? You have been missed."
He chuckled slightly. "Uh, the Academy has been quite time consuming as of late. More than I had anticipated, in fact. My apologies, that is why I came, for… a keep up."
"You do not have to have a reason to come visit, Benedict," your mother said. "Right, my darling?"
You looked up, an uncomfortable grin on your face. "That is right, Benedict…" you replied. "This is, uh… Lord Vikander. Lord Vikander, this is Mr. Bridgerton, a friend of the family."
"It is nice to meet you, Mr. Bridgerton." They shook hands.
"Likewise." Benedict agreed with his lips in a fine, fake line.
"Benedict, would you like to stay for dinner?"
"My apologies, Lord Y/L/N, but I am expected at home for dinner, I… I wish to speak to Y/N in private, actually."
"Of course." He nodded, making a gesture so you would take Benedict somewhere you could speak.
You obeyed, as expected, and walked next to him to your studio.
Benedict sighed looking around. All the things with his name that used to be in your studio were dead, gone, and buried. "Where are the…?"
"Somewhere I could not see them." you replied dryly.
"Whatever did I do?" he questioned, the patience in his eyes disappeared, distress replacing it. "I- I must know because I cannot live without you in my life."
"You should start getting used to it," you murmured. "Lord Vikander and I will be engaged to be married any time soon, and I shall move to Stockholm with him as his wife."
"Excuse me, what?"
You nodded. "I overheard him telling Papa and my brother that he had sent for his Mother's ring."
"Y/N, you… you cannot just marry and leave."
"Ben, this is the cycle of the life of a woman: once we are old enough, we become a pretty trophy for a man to win over. I have postponed it long enough and now it is time… Soon I will be too old for a fine gentleman to want me, so this is my all or nothing at all."
"But you cannot marry him and move to Sweden."
"I can, I will, and I have no other choice but to either way," you answered. "And please, return to your home. There is nothing left for us to talk about… This is not appropriate, especially with Lord Vikander waiting for me."
"Since when do you care for what is appropriate when it comes to you and me?"
"Since I lost hope," you confessed, looking anywhere but at his eyes. "Now, it is best if you leave."
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"Benedict!"
He downed the bottle of whiskey that wasn't meant to be drunk that way before Anthony could reach him. "Brother!"
"Benedict, what is happening to you?!"
"This, Brother, is what a man who has lost hope looks like!" he exclaimed. "You shall see me in a circus by next month."
Anthony rolled his eyes. "What are you talking about?"
"She will marry that man," he answered, and Anthony's concern grew bigger at the sight of his brother weeping. "She will marry that man, move to Sweden, and not come back. She will not come back to me, I will never see her again… And I ran out of whiskey."
"What man?" He frowned.
"A Swedish lord who seems to be in love with her."
"Swedish? You mean Lord Vikander?"
"In the flesh," Benedict confirmed. "She says she has no other choice, but she does…"
"She does not have another choice, Brother. That is the wealthiest man in Sweden, someone who can provide for her, take good care of her. He is a good man, and if you do not love her, he is the best husband she could dream of."
"Whose side are you on?"
Anthony smirked, taking the empty bottle from his brother's hand. "Hers."
"I cannot let her go. I cannot lose her."
"There is nothing you can do, Ben," he said. "She was never yours to lose to begin with."
"But she could be."
"No, Benedict," He shook his head. "You do not love her so you must let her go. Perhaps one day you will get married or simply move to your property outside of London, and what will be of her? A single woman who renounced her suitor for her friend who could not even return her feelings? Let her go."
"I cannot, Anthony, she-"
"She will be better with Niklaus, brother, just…"
"You know him?" He asked, trying to seem careless.
"Y/N's brother, Niklaus, Simon, and I were close friends back in Oxford."
"He is friends with Nathaniel?"
"He is, and I did not know Niklaus was courting her, though I saw him last night at White's."
"He did not say a word about her?"
"No, and I did not ask."
Benedict sighed. "I will not let her go."
"You must," Anthony rolled his eyes. "Now, go to your room."
"Do not treat me like a kid, Anthony."
"But you are behaving like a stubborn child who does not want to let go of a toy someone borrowed! I hope to God you do not sabotage Y/N's engagement or else."
Benedict nodded, and Anthony knew he had to keep an eye on him.
Back at the Y/L/N Manor, you were cursing him and yourself.
Even your Father, ever so clueless of anything in regards of emotions and feelings, noticed that something was wrong as soon as you returned from your private conversation with Benedict.
It was midnight now, and you were sitting on the windowsill and looking outside, the Orion constellations bringing you memories of when you and Benedict were teenagers and he used to escape from his home so late at night and you to your home. You two would look at the stars until the sunrise hid them, and look at each other until your eyes were too tired to be kept open.
Two knocks on the door killed your reminiscing.
"Are you awake, my darling?"
You recognized your Papa's voice, so you stood up and opened the door.
"I apologize for being up so late, Papa. I just cannot fall asleep."
He shook his head in amusement. "Do not apologize, just talk to me and tell me what has got you so distressed."
"It is nothing, Papa."
"Does it have to do with Lord Vikander?"
"No, everything is alright."
"Benedict?"
The mere mention of his name made you break down. His expression softened and he opened his arms to receive you in a hug.
"I love him."
Your father stroked your hair lightly. "What is the problem? You do not have to marry Lord Vikander if you do not wish to, you can marry whoever you choose."
"But Ben doesn't want to marry me, Papa… If he wanted me, we would be married by now."
"How can you be so sure, my darling?" he asked, making you look him in the eyes. "I was so in love with your mother when we were your age, but I had promised myself I would enjoy the life of a bachelor as long as I could… It took me long enough to admit to myself how much I loved your mother, but once I did, I could never forget I did. Perhaps he has not realized yet that he loves you, and perhaps he needs a little push. Tell him how you feel," he advised, cleaning your tears. "And if he doesn't feel the same way, then you will always have Lord Vikander. You can always learn how to love him, and if not, you get along very well with him. He is sensible, he respects you, he is serious about his intentions, he knows what he wants… You deserve a man like him, not one that does not love you, my darling. Listen to my words and converse with Benedict, then you will know what to do."
"Thank you, Papa."
He smiled. "You do not have to thank me for anything. Now, go to sleep."
You smiled back at him and did as he told you.
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naamahdarling · 5 months
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Do you have a favorite musical?
If so, what are your favorite lyrics from it, and why?
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ALW's CATS.
Is it a surreal mess? Yes! But I love it before everything else.
The lyrics are silly but very clever. Most are at least partly by TS Eliot, drawn from a wonderfully nonsensical book of poems.
I think my favorite song is the Invitation to the Jellicle Ball, neck and neck with Mr Mistoffelees.
My favorite cat is Mistoffelees by a lot, followed by the Rum Tum Tugger. They are in love.
But the part that makes me feel the most in my heart is Grizabella. The only cat I relate to is Grizabella.
Memory is the big number that everyone knows and I do absolutely love it, it's one of my favorite songs and probably the best in the musical as it was before CATS 2019 introduced a new song, but I feel that out of context it simply doesn't have punch. It gets trotted out to showcase a singer's skill, as a bit of a tearjerker if you're a sentimental person. It is so much more than that.
I didn't understand Grizabella properly until I was well and truly an adult and had taken in multiple cats off the street, and lived near a colony, and watched my own cats become frail, which are all painful things in many ways; AND until I had begun to really feel the weight of my marginalization as a disabled person and an ill person, which means confronting almost daily the fact that I am unlikely to come to the sort of end I would like.
Hold on because I'm going to be unhinged about this cat for a minute.
Grizabella is an aged stray, once welcomed, now abandoned and unloved, considered ugly even by others like her (who are shown to supposedly accept differences and value, or at least respect, most everyone...but not her).
She lives in a haunted, lonely state unacknowledged by anyone except to be driven away. She can no longer care for herself, she is filthy and matted and scarred and probably in a lot of pain, she is starving, and she has nothing but her memories of better times, and every single dawn is both a gift and a miserable curse. She gets to remember. She has to remember.
If you watch, Grizabella is onstage a LOT, she's just off in the background, usually poorly lit, where she tries to mirror the dances happening on the main part of the stage, dances she knows because that was once her, there in the spotlight, shining. But now she's in too much pain to dance and her body isn't working right anymore. I have no doubt Grizabella is dying. The question is whether she will get to do that well, comforted and with dignity, or do it badly and alone.
I cannot HANDLE Grizabella.
If you have even the tiniest inkling of love for cats, if you believe every cat's life is worth something, her story should destroy you.
The legendary Jennifer Hudson's performance in the movie brought a really angry and confrontational turn to her, and it was flat out amazing. A rebuke of a performance. It really hurts to watch but it's what the role has always needed. She isn't just weak and sad, she clings to the tatters of her dignity and is angry that the others don't see her as a whole person. Just a miserable shadow to be avoided. A cautionary tale. We are never told what terrible thing she did to deserve her fall, and given that most of the Jellicles are young, I don't know that any of them really remember.
I will physically fight anyone who says she should not have been selected to ascend to a new life. She was the only choice. Even Gus. Even him. He can have his turn next year. Grizabella does not have another year in her.
And I'm going to make some folks mad but I love the 2019 movie (it's bad) and the new song, Beautiful Ghosts, is amazing, and I DO prefer Taylor Swift's version as the movie version is a little more timid (fitting the role and musical way better) but TS fucking BELTS IT and I get chills every time.
The lyrics are incredible and the song is gorgeous, gorgeous. And strung together with Grizabella's song, it finishes the musical in a way that it was a bit unfinished before. It uses an actual full song to connect Grizabella to the Ball and the Choice more directly than any choreography ever did or could:
Victoria, the White Cat and viewpoint character, still almost a kitten, has been dumped in the street and into a terrifying and beautiful new life.
After being swept up into its wonder, she sees Grizabella, utterly rejected, hissed at, made fun of, despised, and aches with the injustice of it -- Victoria was snatched right up by the other cats the instant her paws hit the ground, but nobody will take in Grizabella. Not even her own kind.
Victoria sees how strangely similar they are and feels a kinship that has no pity in it at all, but wonder and respect.
So Victoria sings this new song expressing the first admiration Grizabella has heard in god alone knows how long, reminding her she has had an amazing life worth envy and renown, and she pulls this horrible decrepit old mess of a cat into the Jellicle Ball, where she is FINALLY relieved of her pain.
Like? I'm crying right now?
It isn't a serious musical, but Grizabella's story runs through it like a cold current, something real and terrible, surrounded by absolute ridiculousness. Her numbers are deadly serious, never played for laughs. And ultimately it is her story that turns out to be the most important one, the truest one, and it is dark, and it is hopeful but only in only the most painful and grief-stricken way. She isn't brought back into a comfortable life with other cats to be happy and surrounded by love. She essentially...dies and goes to cat heaven. She embodies hope itself to the others, and her ascension represents a deeply humbling lesson in humility and grace. Her suffering and her ascent represent the possible future of every one of them, and now they have to confront that, and their treatment of her. She was rewarded, and for all their beauty and charm they were not.
Anyway I'm not normal about it.
The lyrics from Beautiful Ghosts that I love are:
Perilous night, their voices calling. A flicker of light, before the dawning. Out here the wild ones are taming the fear within me. Scared to call them my friends and be broken again. Is this hope just a mystical dream?
and
And so maybe my home Isn't what I had known, what I thought it would be. But I feel so alive With these phantoms of night, and I know that this life isn't safe but it's wild and it's free!
Like, come on. It's a lovely song and it took my breath away in the theater.
Ugh this musical touched me as a feral cat girl of 10 and it touches me again as a sad catguy in their 40s. Truly a very stupid work of weirdly meaningful art and one for the ages.
There are much better musicals, but none of them are part of me.
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st4rgzer · 7 months
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Can you write a about the reader loving Matt sm but knowing he doesn’t like her back. Liek don’t have a super happy ending but also don’t have a super sad one. Do it inspired by me and …
UNREQUITED (matt sturniolo)
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summary: the reader experiences some unresponsive feelings from a special someone
genre: angst
cw: taylor swift references maybe…? Is that a warning? Other than that I really don’t think theres much
a/n: as always, @iha8you ‘s request, ly, also dw you’ll get him🙏
This winter had been hell for me, it was always my favorite holiday, the cool air, snow, when it rained and I got to stay home playing boardgames with my mum, or I finally got to read that book that had been collecting dust on my shelf for ages now that it was dark and rainy. No, none of it this year. Every time I hung out with him I held my breath, in fear I’ll do something wrong, take too much space, become too much of a liability. Its stupid, just stupid, I’m his best friend, known him since i was 16 years old, but he seemed so much more older, and wiser.I belittle myself next to him, instead of just letting go, I take a mental note of every little gesture he does that correlates in any way to me, every choice of words, I save them to then divulge them later. It’s draining, not knowing if its just all in your head. If you’ve got it wrong…
“y/n? Hellooo, are you there” i snapped out of my meditative state.I was cross legged on my bedroom floor with two of my closest friends, I didnt even remember what we were talking about anymore.
“yeah sorry i was just distracted” I sighed tying my hair back into a low ponytail and resting my hands on my knees
“we were talking about Matt? Y’know you actually have a chance with him, did you see the way he talked to you earlier?” My friends were only feeding into my delusions, the other nodded in agreement. Even if he did actually see me like that, i dont know what i would do, we’ve been friends since highschool, everything would just be too weird and messy, it wouldn’t be right, no, not with me, not with him.
“No, guys, stop, you’re all just talking nonsense and it just makes everything worse” I groaned, placing my head between my hands.
“C’mon, who could ever leave you?” She says giggling, looking over at my other friend, it wasn’t funny, not in that moment at least. I felt despaired, I know it’s obvious I like him, maybe no one actually takes it seriously when i throw in some extra compliments once in a while of some flirty remarks, but I never try to hide it, except the real thing of course. I know my love should be celebrated, I shouldn’t settle for someone who just tolerates it, but I keep going back to the same thing, always, no matter how many people I see, no matter how many excuses I make to not hang out, its like a moth to a flame, I know im bound to get burnt, trust me. My friends keep convincing me, I feel petty having to listen to them try and make me feel better. Sometimes I come close to actually getting serious then I just think its a waste of time, he just always assumes im fine when my eye contact becomes non existent and my words get mixed up, I dont think he notices it at least, I dont think he ever notices. I guess this means im just doomed, It doesn’t matter how many times my friends reassure me, how many “glances” i pick up from him, Im never going to be one of his main concerns, unrequited. Im always just dimly lit, just enough. I should start trying to accept, settle, “always the bridesmaid, never the bride”.
a/n: this is kind of sht i wrote this at 1:00am, I’ll write more with requests🙏😊😊
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stinkypeanutbutter · 4 months
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sbg sleepover hcs because I’m silly
Aiden brings a butt ton of junk food. Tyler balances it out with the healthy crap so they don’t get diabetes.
With a LOT of bargaining, and I mean a lot, they come up with hairstyles for Ashlyn. It’s only rarely she gives in, but it makes the sleepover worth while.
sleeps at Aidens house the most just cause it’s huge, and huge means lots of hiding spaces, and it also means getting lost easily (Taylor)
they have like scheduled calendars for each movie night on who gets to choose. It goes in some kind of order depending on who went first last time.
Aiden and Taylor choose the horror or drama movies, Tyler goes for comedy, believe it or not. Logan goes for any genre of sci - fi or fantasy (he also loves doctor who) , ben likes to put on musicals ( bless him) , and ash doesn’t have a preferred taste, but she really likes disaster movies ( and comedies with Tyler sometimes. Taylor also loves kids movies like trolls, MLP, uhhh idk any 😭)
aiden also puts on the weirdest things he could find. Put on human centipede once, got banned from picking movies for the next 4 nights
dinner ? They just order pizza or burgers. If they’re feeling adventurous, they make something together ( 60/40 chance of succeeding )
Probably do contests and play random board games. Aiden has a ton of them because he would play in his sad little room against himself when he was feeling energetic. ( help )
Tyler forgets his crap sometimes, so he just borrows from the others like a loser
They tell spooky stories at like 11pm just so when the clock hits twelve they drop down and become paranoid about everything
despite not speaking, Ben tells the best scary stories and it’s hilarious cause he’ll go out of his way and plant some fake audios around the house ( or ARE they ? 😦 )
ashlyn would keep her braids in no matter what, even if they keep getting stepped or rolled on or pulled or -
sleeping ? They plan on staying up after 12 ofc, but when they do fall asleep it’s kinda a mess . Ben sleep like he’s about to be dropped into his grave, at least so he’s able to react quick enough to whatever might be bad in the area . Logan sleeps like a caterpillar in its chrysalis stage , unless with the group , then he kinda just lays on his side if he’s comfy . Tyler likes sleeping on his stomach cause he’s afraid something might punch a hole through it again, so just in case . . Taylor hugs things in her sleep. Don’t matter who, just be her stuffed animal for a while and she’ll let you go and roll on her side. Aiden has a similar issue. But he only does this cause he never really had anything to actually cuddle up on besides his pillow so. . he’ll hug on to whoever is closest ( Ash or Ben ) . They don’t mind it , I mean Ash gets trapped but she’ll deal with it later. If no one is around or close enough, he’ll just curl up into a little ball like he did when he was younger ( habit ).
Pancakes in the morning let’s gooo !!!!!!! Most of them collectively use a bunch of whipped cream . I mean , who doesn’t ? Lame - o’s. Aiden likes to see how many pancakes he can stack on top on eachother before it falls
No pancakes ? Cereal it is . Ash likes Frosted Flakes cause of the texture, and how they don’t crunch as loud when you chew em. Plus, they’re tasty. Taylor got them captain crunch and lucky charms. Tyler likes Honey Nut Cheerios cause he’s basic , but can’t resist honeycombs . . Cause he’s still basic . ( They slap tho idc what y’all say 🫠 ) Logan prefers fruity pebbles ( me fr ) or cinnamon taste crunch . Ben doesn’t eat too much cereal, but he likes rice Krispys cause their soft on his throat. Aiden likes whatever, he’s probably gonna add random crap in it anyway lol
that last part wasn’t really a sleepover headcanon but uhms ignore that 😅😅😅😿
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thenewrises · 4 months
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enjoy my brain rambles (18+ MDNI)
idk the last time i did a theory/full lore post on anything since 17 year old me played mystic messenger in 2017 (IN FUCKING PHYSICS!!!!!) but for some reason 14 days with you has been on the forefront of my brain for over a year so. also it's so funny how not into yandere games/dark romance i was years ago but the moment i started college and started reading shit like ACOTAR (not dark romance but like... y'know... rhys...) i am like damn... what if someone was THAT into me me... (this does not include haunting adeline i fucking hate that book)
anyways sorry for the ramble!!!! some fun stuff i have found in the last idk few days of perusing old stuff, new stuff, etc.
also, a lot of hints i've found have been followed up by "👀". this is not the case with everything but just a lil tidbit i noticed! :)
The official 14DWY blog is @14dayswithyou
edit: put 18+ mdni in title because the game is 18+! should have mentioned that LOL
Ren's name!
I have been super interested in finding out his name, which i will send guesses sometime to the ask box when i have more as to not spoil anything if i'm right. BUT, i can share everything i have collected! i do know we will know more about him in day 7 possibly but i want to hopefully give some help if anyone wants to guess like me!
(Not In Name) ❌ - T, D, Z, S
(In The Name) ✅ - N, R, A, E
does not begin with - E, R, B, A, P
does not end with - N, L, Y
extras ⁃ 8 letters (could be more) ⁃ not traditionally masculine ⁃ american ⁃ emerald has three letters (E, A, R are my guesses) ⁃ clarence (two letters right spot) ⁃ emerson (one letter right spot) ⁃ marienne (one letter right spot) ⁃ his sister called him ren
so, with this in mind i have a few ideas. it seems the letter "R" is in the fourth position in his name. the letter "E" seems to be at the end of his name. i believe his name may be unisex or possibly more typically feminine, but he was named by his mother after her two friends (which i believe are Teo's relatives). some guesses about the name i have are: i believe his name may begin with an L or F, but this is just a guess i have but i do not believe it begins with a C. either "ren" is in his name altogether or another variation such as rien. but! this is just a theory (matpat... thank u).
some extras:
_ _ _ r _ _ _ e
edit: upon some scrolling before bed i am starting to believe their name may end in “rence” or “riene”. will update but that’s where i’m landing right now.
edit 2: may ALSO end in renie!
2. Ren's hands!
so we know ren has scarred hands from an accident prior to the events of the game before he ran from home. i don't know exactly what caused the scarring, but i believe it was some kind of altercation with his father from the sounds of it. it was said that ren left his mom in absolute hysterics when he left, so i believe there are a few things that could have happened.
i don't know if ren's father would hurt his mother but let's assume he wouldn't, maybe ren was presenting more masculine, talking back to his father, becoming a "threat" towards taylor, who knows! whatever happened, ren got into an altercation with taylor that ended in the scarring. I believe it has something to do with fire, taylor may have been set of fire somehow. maybe taylor wanted to burn the house down. OR, maybe ren tried to burn the house down with taylor in it...
it's possible that taylor may have tried to harm ren's mother that he attempted to save his mom and burn his father/harm his father. whatever happened, hana was not present for this as i believe this is when ren ran away from home IF this is how it happened.
maybe what happened to his hands was much longer before he left. i've seen some questioning that when leon had a birthday party, he invited hana but she did not go for reasons unknown. what this could mean is that something happened WHEN hana still lived there before she was sent off to school. maybe this was when ren got the scars on his hands. maybe taylor tried to harm ren due to him simply being male, maybe it was something else. maybe ren fought back. maybe taylor tried to hurt ren's mother, causing him to be punished by his father. all i know is, ren in an ask has said “I-I didn’t mean to… He— I didn’t have much of a choice…”
3. Playlist!
a while ago, saint put out this playlist and explained that characters and endings are connected to the songs. from other's guesses and my own curiosity, i went through and did some eliminations and found these to be the most possible to be connected:
shapeshift - ren
almost had me - violet
glimpse of us - leon
angel - ending
god complex - ending (possibly leon)
EDIT: gun - ending (most likely bad)
heart-shaped hologram - EDIT: I believe this is ren's introspection now
these could be inaccurate! but from what i have seen i think these are the best guesses for some of the songs. maybe i'll try to guess more in depth, but for now, this is just from what i've read up! 14 days also has the potential to be an ending, but once again this may be another post.
conclusion
i am so out of my mind. but it is so fun to evaluate lore i have always loved doing it and this game itched my brain. i reccommend this game if you're interested in horror and are 18+ then i say check out this game! read the warnings ahead of time, but i find it funky fresh
anyways womp womp, redacted come home, emo boy by ayesha erotica lookin' ass
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lakesbian · 6 months
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He was a little over six feet, though, which put him head and shoulders above most of the gang members.
i don't think i've ever seen anyone point out this particular height oddity in worm before--being 'a little over 6 feet' does not put you head and shoulders over the average height man, it puts you maybe like...half a head over them. it's kinda interesting that this one Overestimates how much 6 ft is because usually it seems like wildbow is Underestimating it (i.e. coil, neil, and brian all being in the high 6-7ft range). just something i thought was a little funny
it's also very funny how taylor just like. Wanders off into the bad part of town (tm) in expectations that she'll find some random evildoing to stop and is surprised later on when it turns out she was interfering in a gang war and not just saving innocent children. like, why would there be random children in the docks. 200 pages of Cape Planning and she has Not seriously thought about the actual mechanisms of this hero thing. local suburban white girl who understands nothing about the practical realities of crime about to become warlord of an entire city. that said:
I mean, for all I knew, he could have misled people about what his powers did, he could have a power he was keeping up his sleeve for an emergency, or he could even have a very subtle power that people couldn’t see at work.
already smart about thinking about powers :)
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lucifersresources · 1 year
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taylor swift // midnights rp meme. 
edit/alter/change pronouns etc as you see fit!  
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lavender haze. 
meet me at midnight. 
you don’t ever say too much. 
i’ve been under scrutiny. 
you handle it beautifully. 
all this shit is new to me. 
i’m damned if i do give a damn what people say. 
all they keep asking me is if i’m gonna be your bride. 
they’re bringing up my history. 
they’re bringing up my history, but you weren’t even listening. 
i just need this love spiral. 
maroon. 
we lost track of time again. 
you were my closest friend. 
how’d we end up on the floor anyway? 
i see you every day now. 
i chose you. 
we were shaking. 
how the hell did we lose sight of us again? 
ain’t that the way shit always ends. 
i feel you, no matter what. 
and i lost you. 
i wake with your memory over me. 
that’s a real fuckin’ legacy. 
anti-hero. 
i get older, but just never wiser. 
midnights become my afternoons. 
my depression works the graveyard shift. 
i should not be left to my own devices. 
i end up in crisis. 
i wake up screaming from dreaming. 
one day i’ll watch as you’re leaving.
one day i’ll watch as you’re leaving, coz you got tired of my scheming. 
it’s me, hi. i’m the problem, it’s me. 
i’m the problem. 
i’ll stare directly at the sun, but never in the mirror. 
it must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero. 
i’m a monster on the hill. 
did you hear my covert narcissism i disguise as altruism like some kind of congressman? 
life will lose all its meaning. 
she thinks i left them in the will. 
she’s laughing up at us from hell. 
snow on the beach. 
life is emotionally abusive. 
time can’t stop me quite like you did. 
i’m unglued, thanks to you. 
it’s like snow at the beach: weird, but fucking beautiful. 
you wanting me tonight, feels impossible. 
this scene feels like what i once saw on a screen. 
i’ve never seen someone lit from within. 
my smile is like i won a contest. 
to hide that would be so dishonest. 
it’s fine to fake it till you make it. 
i can’t speak. 
i don’t even dare to wish it. 
can this be a real thing? 
you’re on your own, kid. 
summer went away, still the yearning stays. 
i play it cool with the best of them. 
he’s gonna notice me. 
we’re the best of friends anyway. 
i hear it in your voice. 
i didn’t choose this town, i dream of getting out. 
there’s just one who could make me stay. 
i waited ages to see you there. 
you never cared. 
you’re on your own, kid. you always have been. 
you’re on your own, kid. 
i see the great escape. 
he loves me not. 
something different bloomed. 
i’ll run away. 
i gave my blood, sweat and tears for this. 
the jokes weren’t funny. 
i took the money. 
my friends from home don’t know what to say. 
there were pages turned with the bridges burned. 
everything you lose is a step you take. 
you’ve got no reason to be afraid. 
you can face this. 
midnight rain. 
he wanted it comfortable, i wanted that pain. 
he wanted a bride, i was making my own name. 
he stayed the same. 
all of me changed. 
my town was a wasteland. 
for some, it was paradise. 
i broke his heart coz he was nice. 
i was midnight rain. 
i guess sometimes we all get just what we wanted. 
he never thinks of me. 
i guess we all get some kind of haunted. 
i never think of him. 
i never think of him, except on midnights like this. 
question...? 
we had one thing going on, i swear that it was something. 
i don’t remember who i was before you. 
i just may like some explanations. 
can i ask you a question? 
did you ever have someone kiss you in a crowded room? 
what did you do?
did you ever leave her house in the middle of the night? 
did you wish you’d put up more of a fight? 
it was too much. 
do you wish you could still touch her? 
did you realise out of time? 
fuckin’ politics and gender roles. 
i just may like to have a conversation. 
does it feel like everything’s just like second best after that meteor strike? 
i’m sure that’s what’s suitable. 
vigilante shit. 
draw the cat eye sharp enough to kill a man. 
you did some bad things, but i’m the worst of them. 
sometimes i wonder which one will be your last lie. 
they say looks can kill and i might try. 
i don’t dress for women, i don’t dress for men, lately i’ve been dressing for revenge. 
i don’t start shit.
i don’t start shit, but i can tell you how it ends. 
don’t get sad, get even. 
i’ve been dressing for revenge. 
she needed cold hard proof, so i gave her some. 
picture me, thick as thieves with your ex-wife. 
she looks so pretty, driving in your benz. 
ladies always rise above. 
i’m on my vigilante shit again. 
bejeweled. 
i think i’ve been a little too kind. 
didn’t notice you walking all over my peace of mind. 
putting someone first only works when you’re in their top five. 
i’m going out tonight. 
best believe i’m still bejeweled when i walk in the room. 
i can still make the whole place shimmer. 
familiarity breeds comtempt. 
don’t put me in the basement when i want the penthouse of your heart. 
i polish up real nice. 
i think i’ve been too good of a girl. 
i think it’s time to teach some lessons. 
i made you my world. 
have you heard? i can reclaim the land. 
i miss you, but i miss sparkling. 
sadness became my whole sky. 
but some guy said my aura’s moonstone. 
you can try to change my mind, but you might have to wait in line. 
a diamond’s gotta shine. 
labyrinth. 
it only hurts this much right now. 
i’ll be getting over you my whole life. 
i’m falling in love.
i’m falling in love again. 
it only feels this raw right now. 
lost in the labyrinth of my mind. 
you would break your back to make me break a smile. 
you know how much i hate that everybody just expects me to bounce back. 
karma. 
you’re talking shit. 
addicted to betrayal. 
you’re terrified to look down. 
you’ll see the glare of everyone you burned. 
it’s coming back around. 
karma is my boyfriend. 
karma’s a relaxing thought. aren’t you envious that for you it’s not? 
my pennies made your crown. 
don’t you know that cash ain’t the only price? 
ask me what i learned from all those years. 
ask me what i earned from all those tears. 
ask me why so many fade, but i’m still here.
so many fade.
i’m still here. 
karma is the thunder rattling your ground. 
karma’s on your scent like a bounty hunter. 
sweet nothing. 
they said the end is coming.
the end is coming. 
everyone’s up to something. 
i find myself running home to your sweet nothings. 
all that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing. 
this happens all the time. 
you should be doing more. 
to you i can admit that i’m just too soft for all of it. 
i’m just too soft for all of it. 
mastermind. 
the planets and the fates and all the stars aligned. 
the touch of a hand lit the fuse. 
checkmate, i couldn’t lose.
i couldn’t lose. 
what if i told you none of it was accidental. 
none of it was accidental. 
the first night that you saw me, nothing was gonna stop me. 
what if i told you i’m a mastermind? 
i’m a mastermind. 
now you’re mine. 
we were born to be the pawn in every lover’s game. 
if you fail to plan, you plan to fail. 
strategy sets the scene for the tale. 
the first night that you saw me, i knew i wanted your body.
i wanted your body. 
it was all my design. 
no one wanted to play with me as a little kid.
i’ve been scheming. 
i’ve been scheming like a criminal ever since.
i’ve been scheming like a criminal ever since to make them love me. 
this is the first time i’ve felt the need to confess. 
i’m only cryptic and machiavellian coz i care. 
you knew the entire time. 
you knew that i’m a mastermind. 
the great war. 
my knuckles were bruised like violets. 
cursed you as i sleep talked. 
spineless in my tomb of silence. 
tore your banners down, took the battle underground. 
flashes of the battle come back to me in a blur. 
my hand was the one you reach for all throughout the great war. 
i vowed not to cry anymore. 
if we survived the great war. 
you drew up some good faith treaties. 
you said i have to trust more freely. 
you were playing with fire. 
maybe it’s the past that’s talking. 
maybe it’s the past that’s talking-- telling me to punish you for things you never did. 
i justified it. 
i vowed not to fight anymore. 
i vowed not to fight anymore if we survived the great war. 
got a sense i’d been betrayed. 
that was the night i nearly lost you.
i nearly lost you. 
i really thought i’d lost you. 
we can plant a memory garden. 
there’s no morning glory, it was war, it wasn’t fair. 
we will never go back to that bloodshed. 
we’re burned for better. 
i vowed i would always be yours.
i would always be yours. 
paris. 
all the outfits were terrible. 
i’m so in love that i might stop breathing. 
i was taken by the view. 
romance is not dead. 
romance is not dead if you keep it just yours. 
levitate above all the messes made. 
i want to brainwash you into loving me forever. 
high infidelity. 
i didn’t know you were keeping count. 
you said i was freeloading. 
put on your records and regret me. 
i bent the truth too far tonight. 
i was dancing around it. 
do i really have to chart the constellations in his eyes? 
seemed like the right thing at the time. 
there’s so many different ways that you can kill the one you love. 
there’s so many different ways that you can kill the one you love. the slowest way is never loving them enough. 
do i really have to tell you how he brought me back to life? 
glitch. 
we were supposed to be just friends. 
maybe i’ll see you out some weekend. 
i think there’s been a glitch. 
i’m fastening myself to you. 
i’m not even sorry. 
i was supposed to sweat you out. 
our love is blacking out. 
the system’s breaking down. 
i’d go back to wanting dudes who give nothing. 
would’ve, could’ve, should’ve. 
if you tasted poison you could’ve spit me out. 
if you’d never looked my way i would’ve stayed on my knees. 
i damn sure never would’ve danced with the devil. 
the pain was heaven. 
now that i’m grown, i’m scared of ghosts. 
memories feel like weapons. 
i wish you’d left me wondering. 
if you never touched me i would’ve gone along with the righteous. 
you made me feel important. 
you made me feel important, then you tried to erase us. 
you tried to erase us. 
you’re a crisis of my faith. 
if i’d only played it safe. 
i miss who i used to be. 
the tomb won’t close. 
i regret you all the time. 
i can’t let this go. 
i fight with you in my sleep. 
the wound won’t close. 
i keep on waiting for a sign. 
if clarity’s in death, then why won’t this die? 
living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts.
give me back my girlhood, it was mine first. 
dear reader. 
if it feels like a trap, you’re already in one. 
just run. 
pick somewhere and just run. 
desert all your past lives. 
if you don’t recognise yourself, that means you did it right. 
never take advice from someone who’s falling apart. 
bend when you can, snap when you have to. 
you don’t have to answer just cause they asked you. 
the greatest of luxuries is your secrets. 
when you aim at the devil, make sure you don’t miss. 
i prefer hiding in plain sight. 
you should find another guiding light. 
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youaintnothinbuta · 1 year
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Worried About You - Elvis (DDM)
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If you don’t feel comfortable/don’t want to imagine Elvis as your father, DON’T read!!
Disclaimer: Y/N’s mother in this fic does not have to be Priscilla unless you choose for it to be read that way. Y/N’s mother is never named.
Summary: Elvis is your father. Your mother has been treating you a lot older than you are, and he’s worried about you and the things your mother is doing when he’s not around.
Pairing: Daughter!Y/N x Father!Elvis or Austin!Elvis)
Word count: 797
Warnings: DDM (daddy daughter moments), argument, divorced parents. 
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You and your mom had just driven through the gates of Graceland, your fathers house, dropping you off for your week with your dad. He welcomed the pair of you in, you sprinting out of the car, leaping into his arms, he kissed you on the cheek hello and put you down, to give your mum a hug, too. Though your parents were divorced, they made a real effort to stay friends for you. However, that was becoming increasingly difficult for Elvis, as he had noticed changes in your behaviour each and every time you came back from your moms house. It was starting to worry him. Not to mention, he was stunned at the amount of fabric, or lack thereof, that your dress was made of.
“Y/M/N, can I talk to you?” He skipped saying hello. Jerry, who was at the house with Elvis, took your hand and walked with you up to your bedroom, giving your parents some time alone.
“What’s up?”
“Did our daughter have four birthdays in the week she was with you? What the hell are you doing to her?”
“How’d you know she isn’t just choosing to dress like that herself?”
“Well, I sure as hell know my eleven year old ain’t got a date tonight.” Your dad raised his voice at your mom.
“Elvis, don’t make this a big deal, she liked some of my clothes, so I said she could have them. It’s normal—“
“Normal? Normal? She’s a child. You’re an adult. What the hell were you thinking?” Your dad was getting angry now.
“I don’t know what to tell you. She was curious!” Your mom argued.
“So you couldn’t tell her that she’s too young? She’s not even a teenager, Y/M/N, come on.” He pressed his fingers to his forehead.
“Why are you so worried?”
“Why does it seem like every time you bring her back her she’s aged another 5 years? She’s a kid for gods sake.”
“Elvis—“ your mom sighed.
“No. Don’t give me that. Every god damn time you bring her back here I gotta answer questions about boys— about you and me— about being a—“
“She’s growing up. You can’t stop that.”
“Oh lord, lay off, okay? Do you seriously not see the problem? I’m sick of trying to parent the kid alone, can you take a little responsibility and stop treating her like your doll?”
“Did you seriously just say that to me?” Your mom was in disbelief.
Though, he had a point.
“What’s her best friends name?” Elvis asked, his arms folded across his chest.
“Chelsea.” Your mom hesitated.
“Taylor. It’s Taylor.”
“So? She’s got lots of friends. What’s your point, Elvis?”
“You don’t even know the kid, Y/M/N. What’s her favourite food? What’s her favourite subject? What’s her teachers name? Do you know?”
Your dad really worried for you. You were his pride and joy. He worried about you constantly when you were with your mom, are you being fed enough? Are you getting enough sleep? Do you get to play and be a kid like you do with him? Whats she doing that’s making you seem so grown up?
He knew your mother was seeing other men, he just didn’t know, to what extent you were seeing of these other men.
He really didn’t want to have to challenge her for custody, because that would get ugly and, honestly, very rare the dad ever wins.
Your mom stayed silent.
Elvis took a deep breath, “she’s not a mini you, she’s her own person, and that person is a kid, Y/M/N. Why can’t you understand that?”
Before your mom could speak, he began again.
“I’m not asking you for me. For her, Y/M/N, I can’t raise this kid alone. I feel like I’m on damage control, ya know that? You want your kid to be happily married with a family or you want her running the streets every night, huh? I’m telling ya, honey, the way it’s going right now she’s gon be no more married happily than you and I.”
Your mom was flabbergasted, gobsmacked, even.
“I— I can’t have this conversation with you right now.” Your mom managed to choke out, quickly leaving out the front door.
Elvis sighed and shut his eyes for a moment, having watched his ex-wife leave. He went upstairs, properly greeting you with a hug, as you jumped up into his arms once again, just excited to be home, “Daddy! Can we take the horses for a ride?”
“Sure, honey.” He smiled, putting you down, holding the back of your head gently before you started tearing apart your bedroom to find your riding helmet and boots. It was dawning on him that fighting for custody of you may be in his near future.
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diaboliklove · 3 months
Text
modern day au where yui cannot catch a break, and things only get worse when her house gets broken into by an angry red headed robber — but instead of taking her things, he takes her heart
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yui was having the worst year of her life.
even worse than in 2013 when her father wouldn’t let her go to that taylor swift concert since it was deemed ‘unholy.’
she really thought only taylor could understand her.
but now its 2024, and she’s begun to have adult problems. she’s broke, her heater is broken, her apartment has started to fall apart, she stained her favorite pink skirt with coffee, her phone screen shattered when she dropped it on the train, she ran out of her favorite lip gloss, college bills keep stacking up, her upstairs neighbors never stop engaging in fornication, strawberries are out of season so she can no longer afford them and most importantly —
her father just passed away.
and all she wanted now was to rot in her apartment and ask god for mercy on her poor heart.
“it’ll be okay,” she sniffled back a tear. “father used to say the lord puts us through trials to test our faith.”
yeah, used to.
it was now late night, coming back from her fathers funeral she felt more empty than when she first got the news. her feet hurt from the black heels she now had to walk home in, the black dress did little to give her warmth, her cheeks were numb from the cold weather and having to comfort people with a smile that she’ll be okay, that there was nothing to worry about.
… but yui was already worrying about dinner. also how she’d have to shiver herself to sleep again. she couldn’t allow herself to cry herself to sleep again, her face would be frozen when she woke up, and what if she finds another hole in the walls? tape didn’t work last time, and she’s running out of rags to stuff in between them. and what about her job? she can’t buy more rags without it. they granted her a leave of absence due to her fathers passing, but what if they replaced her? if she lost her job she couldn’t pay rent — and she couldn’t ask for another extension on rent, her landlord was fed up enough with her pleading, she wouldn’t get lucky again. and also —
“no, lets just take it one day at a time. thats right,” she neared the steps to her apartment. “deep breath in, and then out. lets have some canned soup for dinner, and then pair it with rewatching the kardashians. yeah. thats a great plan.”
she turned the corner to her door.
“everything will get better,”
she put the key in the lock.
“as long as i stay positive.”
and she swung her door open —
“shit!”
“AH!”
— right into a mans back.
at first she thought she opened the wrong door. but the faint smell of her candles hit her nose, and her eyes fell on the very TV she watched shitty TV on in the mans arms — and then her eyes landed on a fucking sword on his waist.
her eyes followed it as he dropped her TV from his arms, and unsheathed it from his waist —
— and directed it right in between her eyes.
“empty your fucking purse! ill fucking kill you!”
Oh wow. wooooow.
now you would think the right action would be to do as he said. anyone would listen to a manic man with hair as red as blood, especially when they pointed a sword at you that looked like it came from the 1800’s. its not like yui wanted to die, so maybe she should save her life and sacrifice her beloved tv and the few pennies she had in her wallet.
but instead. her face twisted, and yui broke out in the most ugly open mouthed sob she’s ever done.
it wasn’t out of fear. it didn’t even register how this man genuinely had bloodlust leaking out of him. it was out of absolute frustration and sadness that this was becoming her life — and that she couldn’t even have her dream of watching the kardashians.
she fell to her knees. because, seriously, what the hell did she do to deserve all of this? she was a good kid. never acted out to her father and attended mass even when she had the flu. she never wished bad on anyone. but why does everything always have to end bad? on her 11th birthday her goldfish frank died, when she wanted a coffee last week, her card declined and now she couldn’t even sob into her blankets while she heard kim talking about how rich she was. can’t she have one good day? can’t she —
“holy shit, are you crying?” the red haired man didn’t even move.
yui looked up to him, and just stared at the man’s flabbergasted expression. through her tears, she tried to inhale through her nose, but it came out in little stutters. she extended her purse towards him.
“take it. take everything if you want.” yui spoke through her sobs. its not like anything she really wanted was here anymore.
yui curled up into her knees and rocked herself, continuing to cry hysterically at the thought of just her life. she wouldn’t mind if that man stole everything in her house — material objects could be replaced… eventually. when her eyes started to burn by the amount of tears flooding out, she noticed she couldn’t hear the familiar floorboards creak from movement and her purse was still in her hands. lifting her head to see what was going on, she noticed that the man hadn’t moved from his spot, and just was gawking at her sitting on the floor. they held eye contact for a while, like they were both afraid to move.
sure, yui thought he was a manic. but he probably thought yui was a suicidal manic.
while she held eye contact, she finally really looked at him.
he was fit. wearing a black shirt and a ripped jean jacket, yui could tell he wasn’t bulky, but instead quite lean. his pecs were defined and his muscular abdomen and biceps were flexed against the fabric from welding the heavy sword. his joggers looked worn down, and black nikes seemed like they seen better days. his face was … nice. well sculpted and he had a well defined jaw. his lips were plump and chapped from the chill outside.
what threw yui off was the cacophony that was his hair and eye color. bright firetruck red for hair that looked like he hadn’t brushed it in days, and green eyes fit for only a predator. regardless of the situation, yui could tell he honestly was… beautiful. dangerous. probably looked more attractive if he didn’t have his mouth wide open in awe.
his eyebrows furrowed, and he closed his mouth. he placed his sword back in his sheath, and leaned down to grab the tv from the floor. he looked towards yui again, with a face she could only describe as disappointment. clicking his tongue, he began to drag the tv … not towards the door but towards the tv cabinet.
“this isn’t fun anymore. you can have your shitty shit back.”
placing the tv back in its rightful throne, he squatted down and went through a worn down black backpack — that had some random pins of a band she never heard of — that was on the floor. within it, he took out her favorite necklace, her jewelry box, a couple of her wool sweaters and her damn smart toaster she picked up extra shifts for.
“this is yours. ill be back when you’re mentally stable, you deranged bitch.” he motioned to the items on the floor.
“really?”
the robber rolled his eyes. “of course I will be! do you know how much your toaster —“
“— no i mean. you’ll give it back?”
“you want me to take it?”
“well… i’d like it if you didn’t.”
“then! shut the fuck up.”
he grabbed his backpack and swung it around his shoulder. he started making his way towards the door right beside yui. as he took two steps past her, he paused.
“you’re really broke, you know.”
yui sniffled. “i know.”
“like, broke broke. i don’t think ive ever broke into a house that had so much of nothing. what are you, a level one sim? do you have no hobbies? do you even eat? i see nothing to even munch on here.”
“… i have soup.”
“you literally have two cans of spaghetti-os and tomato soup.”
yui sniffled louder. “i know.”
things were silent for a while. yui was sure the robber was still there, probably reconsidering his decision. she expected him to march back in to take her things again while flipping her off. this entire situation seemed too good to be true… but maybe this could end with her losing nothing... no. she wouldn’t let herself hope for something that was next to impossible in a situation like this.
but something even more unlikely happened.
the robber spoke again.
“do you like dennys?”
“w…what?” yui turned her head towards him.
“dennys. the best restaurant in the world. do you like it?” his face stayed neutral, but somehow the question felt like a threat.
yui feared the honest answer, ‘ive never been’ would end in her getting decapitated. so, she said, “i do.”
“do you want to go get some pancakes?”
it was yuis turn to gawk at him. he looked bored, and slid his hands in his pockets. now, maybe a normal person would say ‘fuck no, its 10pm and you just broke into my home somehow and then tried to steal my beloved tv and lovely toaster then pointed a fucking sword at me… also, i don’t even know your name you creep.’
but yui wasn’t a normal person experiencing normal things right now.
“pancakes sound nice.”
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aka, the alternative universe in which two cold hearts find warmth within each other.
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kooassado · 6 months
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RAVEN QUEEN HEADCANONS : EAH REWRITE AU.
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These are some of the headcanons I came up for Raven for the rewrite au. Some might change or not, but I would like to see what you guys think :)
✦ She has natural platinum blonde hair like her mother but she uses magic/ hair dye because she hates it.
✦ Her full name is Raven Ebony Good-Queen. (See what I did there? Heh. No? Sorry.) Ebony is because her mother is simply too obsessed with Snow White, therefore the Ebony, no one uses that name though. The good comes from good-king from her father.
✦ She loves rock and metal. She mainly likes montionless in white, Nirvana, Evanescence and Guns And Roses.
✦ Dexter is the one who got her into Taylor Quick (Swift) and even if she doesn't admit it, she actually loves it. They like listening to it together sometimes while watching the sunset.
✦ Her father is also Snow White's father. That makes the two of them half-sisters. Although, she doesn't know that. Maybe. I'm still deciding on it.
✦ Raven actually has a very light sleep, she takes sleeping medicine to be able to sleep properly, otherwise she would wake up every time she heard a single small noise. (Living with the Evil Queen was not fun) However, whenever she can sleep properly without any worries, she looks like she is dead. Truly, she doesn't move an inch, you can hardly tell if she's breathing. That scared the shit out of Apple one time.
✦ She had a thing with Sparrow in their first year. As much as they acted like they hate each other (they used to), they are actually very good friends and just like annoying each other. Their relationship was basically a friends with benefits thing.
✦ She smokes sometimes when she is feeling very troubled or anxious. Does like some alcohol too but she doesn't usually drinks it. She prefers something strong, but a bit sweet. (All students are either 17-18 here.)
✦ She doesn't like to admit but she is a bit vain like her mother. Evil Queen genes. It's one of the reasons she doesn't like staring much into the mirror, she doesn't want to end up like every other evil queen : obsessed with their beauty. Although, she definitely uses magic on her hair, makeup, skin and overall, she likes taking care of herself, but is careful to never become obsessed with it. Her beauty is on par with Apple’s. (like every other evil queen and snow white.)
Well, these are some of the ones that I came up with. What are your thoughts? Would anyone like seeing Apple headcanons or any other character?
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victoriadallonfan · 10 days
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For worm/ward questions: Who would be the most interesting Undersider and Breakthrough members to swap teams?
I think Bitch and Ashley are similar enough that you could plausibly see them sticking with each team or being recruited, while also having radically different outcomes.
Ashley is of course far more destructive without therapy or her medication, and her power makes fights a lot more deadly for everyone involved while removing the option for the Undersiders being getaway experts. On the other hand, Lisa isn’t out in the field due to Ashley not caring, so they likely switch up tactics completely.
She would like Brian’s professionalism but they had a LOT of conflict of personality and her desire for leadership. She and Alec would probably get along decently well, barring moments he pokes fun at her and things go awry. Lisa might latch onto her like she did with Taylor, if she gets the right info, but that could go really well or really poorly. Taylor would absolutely hear Ashley talk and think she’s a bona fide evil villain, maybe even comparing her to Emma, but I can see a chance for Taylor to see past her mask in quiet moments where Ashley tries to stop infighting. I think the big thing that can sway this is that Ashley would probably not stand for Coil treating Dinah this way. I’m 50/50 on her attacking him outright or shocking Taylor by siding with her immediately, because what Coil does pushes a lot of her buttons (plus she wants his spot). That would be interesting, to imagine this unlikely duo working together, and it might actually ruin the plan to return to the Undersiders post Leviathan if it’s not sincere enough.
Bitch is interesting, because WB has mentioned that she could benefit a lot with therapy and a positive environment with other kids her age, which I presume happens if she’s with Yamada. Entirely possible she gets sent to the same Asylum that Kenzie, Vic, and Sveta were at, having meet some or all of them before.
I imagine she’ll always be gruff, but a lot more overtly aware of that and sensitive to others, maybe having long since begun to treat them like dogs (affectionate). I can see her sympathizing with Byron’s situation of dealing with family while also coming to respect Tristan as a potential leader like she did Brian. Absolutely takes to Rain immediately like in canon, the two of them often discussing survivalist stuff and her becoming an unofficial protector for him. Chris and her actually get along fairly well, especially when they talk shop about dogs and medicine for them. Kenzie, Sveta, and Vic depends on what she knows of them. Possibly sees Kenzie as a very excitable and overly attached puppy, so some of her methods of dealing with her can be blunt, maybe too blunt at times. Sveta and Bitch may be a bit frayed, because Sveta can be a bit overbearing and preachy, and Bitch isn’t sensitive about the same things Sveta is, but they get along and understand how powers fucked them up. Victoria and Bitch, again depends, but I can see Victoria feeling trauma by comparing the mutant dogs to her flesh coffin, and Bitch being naturally wary of the new comer. I think there’s no real conflict though, not with this timeline switch, and ultimately they come out respecting each other like in canon. Bitch might help Vic understand Chris and bridge the two of them together…
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