#like wow your brain is so big

[ovaryacted]

Hello??! Sub!Leon??? Absolutely sign me the fuck up. Ok ok so. Hear me out.

First time, the absolute first time Leon has a prostate orgasm, he fucking cries. Either pegging, dick or fingering, the moment he feels that specific part inside of him get touched, he sees fucking stars.

This dude goes full hentai shit. His eyes roll back, he’s drooling, his tongue is hanging out, he’s babbling uselessly. His brain literally can’t comprehend how good he feels because of it!

I’d imagine that Leon also gets vocal. More vocal than ever. Normally he’s a quiet guy. Maybe some moaning and grunts but when your rubbing his prostate? Yea he’s speaking another language. Dude is Italian American, imagine if he starts speaking fucking Italian. HE doesn’t even understand what he’s saying, he’s just repeating words he heard from his parents growing up.

His voice is also an octave higher. He tries to cover his mouth at first, but it’s useless. He becomes a crying, moaning, babbling bitch.

I’d also imagine Leon’s thighs shake when he cums. Oh and he cums HARD. He actually forgets how to breathe for a bit because of the orgasm slamming into him.

And afterwords? Woah mama. He’s beautiful, breathing heavily, tears and drool marking his pretty face. Just…Mwuah~ <3

MDNI/18+. NSFW

Hey there anon! Thank you so much for the message, I’ll be glad to sign you up to the Sub! Leon fan club. Yes I’m totally listening, putting my ear real close to you right now.

I think the first time he cums like that, it will probably change his whole life and literally give his brain a hard reset. Like sure, he’s had good orgasms before, but never something that made black spots come into his vision, or something that made his legs shake the way they’re currently doing on the mattress. He never thought that sex could feel so good, and experiencing that much relief would genuinely be something that he’ll continue to ask for in the safety of another person who can provide that for him.

The way his mind just fizzles out when it happens, how there isn’t a single thought that goes through his head. It takes him off guard, how it’s just static between his ears and he’s stuck in a daze. For the first time in his life he’s not thinking about his trauma, about missions, about anything. His head is just empty and he loves it, and he finds himself someplace far away and wants to stay there for a while longer. To me, Leon is a sentimental guy, he’d be the type to cry during sex cause he’s clingy and affectionate. But when he’s the one on the receiving end, it makes him feel safe, and having someone who helps to genuinely make him feel good and focuses on his pleasure, he’ll be more inclined to cry from the release of it.

Poor baby is so pent up that the moment he cums he can feel his whole body shake from it. It starts from his thighs which nearly cramp from how hard they flex, and a chill runs down from his calves and to the balls of his feet. His toes will curl a little bit and his fingers will dig into the bed sheets, and he swears he feels his ears ringing from the force of it. He just starts mumbling under his breath, trying to get his heartbeat back to normal and is saying things like I love you in such a whiney voice that it doesn’t even sound like him. He’s babbling and saying anything that comes to mind as any logic just leaves him permanently. Tears down his face, drool running out of his mouth, face all red, he’s a damn mess but he’s your pretty mess. He’s so hypersensitive that any little movement or touch makes him jolt the slightest bit, and it’s almost embarrassing but he doesn’t have the brain power to give a fuck considering how good he feels.

You’d probably have to spend some time bringing him back to reality, praising him and kissing him over his body gently to calm him down. Leon would be so clingy afterwards, just wants to put his head on your chest and let you run your fingers through his hair, whispering sweet nothings in his ear that will ease him to sleep in 3 minutes flat. It’ll be the best he’s slept in a while too, getting a full 8 hours at least, just feeling warm and satisfied. And when you look down at him, there’s a small smile on his face as he sleeps, like he’s dreaming of something good and not having a nightmare, kissing his forehead as he dozes off with his limbs wrapped around you. You fuck him good and you baby him after, that’s what he likes and what he craves, and of course, you’re more than happy to provide.

Also, the fact that you said he’d start speaking Italian was so fucking funny, it made me chuckle. Very real. 😭

#ovaryacted asks #sub leon kennedy #sub leon kennedy smut #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy smut #leon kennedy headcanons #resident evil x reader #resident evil smut #GET THE STRAP #no but this is about to be my trademark lmfao #I love thinking and talking about this tho #Leon deserves to be fucked good and babied after #you ate this up anon #like wow your brain is so big

[rawliverandgoronspice]

So beyond the whole "Ganondorf is now Canonically a Femme Fatale" conversation, I feel like this part of the interview wasn't discussed a ton? Because apparently the original vision was that Zelda doubted whether to restore Hyrule at all (an interesting conflict! put it in the game next time!), and then got punched into the past and then seemingly was convinced of the necessity of her role and Hyrule as an entity (I'm extrapolating but it feels like it's what's being suggested, the direction they wanted for her arc, and it's basically what we get in the game).

And uhhh.

that certainly does not help the whole. imperialist. thing.

#totk #totk critical #zelda #thoughts #when will my brain return from the imprisoning war... #the Dreaded Imperialist Debate #because then the game ends up being about “never doubt your divine right to rule! it's your duty to reinforce your ancestral power!!” #and wow does it suck!!! #she's powerful but never does a thing in the entire game #she just drifts gently and is a big crying noodle you can harvest resources (+ sword) from #literally what does she do that's unique to her and doesn't involve assisting somebody else (especially rauru or link) #she doesn't even like.... seal ganondorf #or deal any kind of damage to him #(except badmouthing him to rauru and sonia which does literally nothing and changes nothing) #genuinely zelda deserved such a better arc #everyone deserved so much better

[quietwingsinthesky]

what if. Amy “fix-it” because hallucifer makes sam so paranoid about dean leaving for no reason that sam gives in and follows him and is witness to the whole thing

#hallucifer: wow. big brother really trusts us. (beat) so something’s up right? we know it’s never this easy. #sam: (visibly restraining himself from saying shut up. about to grab his scar.) #hallucifer: (aware he’s about to be banished) don’t listen to me if you want but. I’m just trying to help. #don’t blame me if you look in the papers tomorrow and find a obit for your brain-eating girlfriend. and… what was her kid’s name again? #sam: (touching the scar. not pressing down. face all screwed up.) || hallucifer: :3 it’s not like it’ll hurt anyone #if he really does trust you he doesn’t even have to know we’re following him. *and* you’ll know your brother still trusts you. #even when I’m here. maybe he won’t even punch you again. that still hurting? #sam: (grimace. because yeah. it does.) || hallucifer: door number two - he thinks you’ve lost it and he’s going to stab that woman to death. #so what’s it gonna be Sam? ready to gamble your friend’s life on if Dean gives a shit about your opinion? #[and that’s the point where sam goes to follow dean. still doesn’t talk to Lucifer. not there yet. but oh hallucifer is sooo pleased with #himself about this. because he’s Sam. and he picks up on what Sam doesn’t. and he could see all of Dean’s little giveaways that Sam was #turning a blind eye to. and now here’s the perfect opportunity to put a wedge between them and get sam to trust him more <3) #GOD. FUCK. IM UPSET NOW. WHY WASNT HALLUCIFER IN THAT EPISODE. MOST OF THE EPISODES? #such a good fucking concept. squandered. #anyway. idk if sam saves Amy but he DEFINITELY here’s Dean’s little speech to her about how she can’t change. #hallucifer with faux sympathy like (sigh) damn. well. i always told you what he was like. Michael. Michael-sword. no difference. #both of them want us dead the moment we step out of line. #and Sam just frozen there in horror with Lucifer’s voice sinking in. and he believes him. how can he not. with dean proving him right #hallucifer #spn #sam winchester #amy pond

[curiouschaosstarlight]

Way Too Much Of The Fandom: "He's just an asshole!! No one should ever write him as anything else!! He's killed people!!"

Canon: "Willing to erase his entire personality just so he can be used by others"

Canon: "First instinct to finding out he was lied to about how his first friend died is to kill himself, because that being a lie completely erases any and all meaning behind all of his meaner actions"

Scaramouche/Wanderer's Actual Chinese Voice Actor:

#chaotic vents #not important #i am genuinely pissed rn this take is so easily disproven #if you literally just look between the lines for three seconds #worst possible take done by people unwilling to ask why the curtains are blue #yes both people bashing him and people liking him claim this #wow look at this big brained take; character is just evil!! no nuance!! just evil!! #idc if that's your genuine opinion of him or if that's how you prefer him or whatevs #what i care is that y'all aint the fucking authority on writing Scaramouche/Wanderer #y'all are FACTUALLY WRONG about what his personality is actually like so #fucking sit down and shut up #if someone wants to say he's totally innocent and has done nothing wrong #that's their prerogative #both sides are completely wrong so. #deal with it. #showing this to a friend for quality control made me realize that #the people that perpetuate 'Scaramouche is just an evil asshole' like... #literally never talk about the shit he went through #they never mention Niwa or the nameless child that died #or being abandoned by Ei #it's like to them he just exists without a backstory beyond the Fatui #and thus remains an entity without any motivation or drive or reason to his actions aside from 'just to be mean' #i've seen people claim Scara's only ever softened because a thing in his character stuff #mentions him being kind to kids (and old people) #nnnno there's a huge amount more to him that y'all just apparently decided doesnt count i fucking guess #nvm the fact that his actions and behaviors point fairly heavily to the fact that he struggles to even consider #letting go of the fact that he is a puppet and 'had a bigger purpose' #nopenopnope just totes evil and everyone who ever says or thinks otherwise is a blind idiot that #doesnt get the character and shouldnt be writing him apparently

[steakout-05]

i think having TF2 as a special interest really early in my childhood influenced so many things about myself and my identity.... my gender is big men my sexuality is big men and my sense of humour is big men. i even named myself after the "very tiny and scrawny but still big" big man and i think about all the big men in TF2 on a semi daily basis,,,,,, anyway yeah i like the men in TF2 :)

#tf2 #this post is nigh incomprehensible #this is the true effects of autism...... having such a big special interest that it literally influences half of your entire sense of self #i think this is why i feel gender euphoria playing crusty old source games #like i literally feel so connected to TF2 it's crazy #i'm currently listening to a TF2 YTPMV and have it in the corner of my screen and my brain is just going ''ahh... the song of my people'' #i look at scout tf2 and i go ''he is just like me!!!'' #man's got adhd and likes being an asshole to the other team on the battlefield and if that isn't relatable i don't know what is #i also occasionally play as engineer and i always put my sentries in the most bitchy spots ever #like you're taking a stroll over to the point and you're like ''oop. level 3 sentry that i can't get rid of because the fucker behind it- #-won't stop helicopter parenting it. welp.'' that's my gendar #scout main to engineer main redemption arc to scout main villain arc because my sentries kept exploding pipeline #that made absolutely zero sense. #i usually play on training mode because i'm too shy to play on casual again yet and let me tell you #the amount of times i've yelled at the engineer bots because they just won't build a damn dispenser next to their sentries is insane #like maintaining a sentry would be SO MUCH EASIER if you just built a dispenser nearby. like. #when you play engie you start to not even worry about your health anymore because you're too concerned with your metallic kids to care #it's like ''oh i'm at 2 hp. wow. OH SHIT MY SENTRY GOT HIT ONCE AND LOST A SINGLE BAR OF HP I NEED TO HEAL HIM!!!!! MY SON!!!' #and you never end up dead somehow because dispenser #and when you do die it's like torture looking at the spectating cam and seeing your sentry get shot at and not being there to help it #it's like ''nooo... my son.... please i need to heal my son..... i can't bare to watch'' #i should invest in a wrangler.... hmmmm...... #anyway this post is... so autism! it's great we love to see it! #autism #i'm very tired yet feel very energised.... i'm having a neurodivergent moment hang on #spy sappin my executive functioning #my brain is literally just 3 scouts and 2 engineers doing do si do with 'erectin a river' blasting really loud at the moment #YIPPEEKIYAHIYAAAAAHYKIYO - my brain when special interest

[pohlepen]

frankie & who????

#“ ⍀ face. « i’ll be honest / we’re all liars. #( OOOOOOOH U WANNA TAKE HER FLYING SO BAD ) #( you could tell her your shit is going down and she starts singing like riff raff in that one vine ) #( frankie the second there's a lil bumpy patch on ANY plane: WOW. that was a big one! ) #( she should have been a flight attendant ) #( part of her is that she has an IMMENSE ability to compartmentalize any sort of negative feeling ) #( or ig i should say perceived negative feeling because it could be a useful feeling sometimes like ) #( is there a fight flight freeze fourth option? ) #( dissociate??? Lmao idk ) #( frankie is a good man in a storm and i will preach that until the day i die or she's dies which comes first ig lol ) #( anyway! She likes to fly and she likes turbulence and will hold your hand if you're scared and buy you a drink ) #( her doing x*nax and at*van definitely doesn't help her be reactionary but- ya know lol ) #( sorry this is all I've got tonight folks my brain is poorly but it'll get better! #( sending y'all love and vibes and shit 💓 )

[ban-joey]

sending laser beams to my professor with my mind. kenneth you said midterm grades would b up by this afternoon. it is officially TONIGHT and guess what? kenneth i would love to not be clenching my teeth in my sleep tonight. kenneth i will be sending you a bill in the mail. yes i know its probably a TAs responsibility but i blame you personally. i hate school

#i dont im having a lot of fun (genuinely) but it is often pretty stressful #did find out there are a few folks adjacent to my program doing zoonoses & climate change research so im very excited to chat w them next w #possibly directing my thesis towards one health. social epi gradually becoming less interesting #plus i think my strengths do lie in applying epi to biological concepts so. one health works there #my brain continually trying to get back to lyme disease :( sometimes i really do miss the east coast tbh! #not lying actually i think the number one thing i miss is the amt of vector borne disease research LMFAO #i do unfortunately kind of have a crush on a classmate so that's fine but whatever. grad school. men are nice to me and i lose my mind ig #need to go make out w a hot trans person i think that would solve my problems rn #but also it's nice to be so excited about someone deciding to sit next to me in every class :) #like wow how isolated have i been the last 3 years to be so delighted by like. active signs i have Officially Made Friends. #even if he does live like a block away from my dad and jokes every goddamn day like 'so i saw your dad yesterday' no you DIDNT shut UP #idk yesterday he sat right next to me in a class he usually sits w other people in and it sort of sent my brain off the edge and now im jus #yeah. sitting with this one. it's fine like it's normal. but wowie i do think it's my first time having a Big Ol Crush since (redacted) #a little scary for my animal brain i think but it's okay! #im 25 in like 3 ish weeks and i still get embarrassed about this stuff somehow? stupid. #he's just really nice and always really fun to talk to! i think i had to officially Sit With Myself today bc epi is doing a holiday party #and there's a baking contest and we were talking abt it in class and i was indecisive abt whether i want to participate #and he like fully cut me off and was like oh you should bake something so i can have some :) #and. well fuck now i have to lmao. IM SO EASY IT'S SO EMBARRASSING #good evening everyone. guess this is my journal now. anyway ken rice you owe me twenty dollars and i aim to COLLECT

[the-kipsabian]

just getting so many mixed news about video games this month and im just. ughhhh alan wake 2 better be so fucking good (i mean i know it will but now im just. you know)

if mirage is flopping like this (which. shouldnt be a surprise tbh its still ubisoft and ac we are talking about lmao) and then konami put out the news about the mgs legacy collection release and its terrible output ratios across all boards and not even new remakes for the original solid or anything...

one out of three i was looking forward to this month is good enough, right...?

#im sure i missed some release but these were the three big ones i was waiting on. and now its time for eternal disappointment! #i know i should never look forward to anything or get super excited cause this always happens no matter the medium or the thing lol #like i get it. but when theres so little in your life and you love all three of these franchises so much what else can you do but get #a little excited about new releases? #i know its bad cause wow consumerism and shit all is bad everythings bad but. lemme have something to look forward to.... #anyways. alan wake will heal me. it has to right? #not that i know when im gonna get my hands on that but.. yeah #anyways i need coffee sorry i love having a fucked up brain and mixed emotions about everything woo #night is an absolute mess on main

[nazumichi]

addicted to the secret bna in my brain where marie and pingua meet in the aftermath of the battle of anima city and he sticks to her like a chatty magnet and follows her around on Super Covert Missions for The Mayor all while wearing an “i ❤️ anima city” t-shirt.

#raii talks a lot #marie suffers a broken heel after the fight and pingua decides to sit beside her like “here’s my life story + hah wow this place is so nice #i should move here + i’m the guy who dropped your coworker with benefits to their death” while she tries to subtly get shirou to get her ou #of this situation (it’s not working) (he’s asking if he can stay with her while he finds a place to stay) (completely enamored with the cit #very vivid image in my brain of pingua wearing an i ❤️ anima city shirt and some stupid merch killing a man point blank while marie stares #like “…. what did you say your name was again” #this is it this is how side characters win. they interact. #marie: i’m a big fan of your work (talking about the time he tried to kill shirou)

[genderqueer-karma]

guys can i talk about that fucking guy. clap if you think i should talk about that fucking guy.

(accidental ramble in the tags. oops. don’t read if you don’t want to read a crisis.)

#yo it's d :) #you already know who that fucking guy is unless you’re new here and that’s none of you so . #i need to start asking my friends if i can talk about that guy but it’s hard honestly #he literally takes up 50 to 80 per cent of my mind on a daily basis #even when i’m not thinking about him i’m thinking of him #i’ll see something blue and be like ‘wow! yk who really likes the color blue?’ and suddenly my brain is flooded with thoughts of Him #don’t get me wrong i love him but i realize that other people don’t care about him as much as i do so i’m trying to dial it back #still. it’s hard. #especially knowing that other people know how to contain themselves and i’m just sitting here raw out in the open like this #to be honest idk how i managed to survive school because since september i’ve kinda been living in mana hell(/heaven. depending on the day) #some people say they have addictive personalities and honestly i think that’s me #my brain is addicted to him! i literally study this man’s face and mannerisms and can tell you exactly how he smiles when his expression #is otherwise neutral. i can relay unnecessary amounts of his band history to you and have watched WAY too many interviews and videos #and the worst part? i literally told myself ‘hey! you can’t get like this again’* because the last time was really bad! it was destructive! #*(about a person.) i literally cannot function sometimes for just thinking about this guy. #i rarely listen to music besides his anymore and can literally tell you characteristic features of his composing! it’s kind of embarrassing! #like i’m a music nerd but i’m not THAT big of a music nerd. i usually can’t tell you things like that. most i can do is tell you #instrumentation. but whenever i listen to something he *mightve* composed i can automatically confirm or deny. #that’s not normal !!!!!!!! #having over *2000* pictures of a person you’ve never met in your phone is not normal! #but despite me being in the goddamn TRENCHES. i love him so so so much. #he genuinely makes me so happy. seeing images/videos of him from any time period makes me go ‘!!!’ because i think he’s the coolest! #and he’s so inspiring. he’s part of the reason i took up drawing again and regained some passion for music. #thus ends my tale of woe.

[elegyofthemoon]

https://youtu.be/X7qHeS5TAlc slides this over to you and gestures at the whole Nohrian royal family <3

CRANE WIVES MY BELOVED !!! oh my god you have no idea how much i love the moon will sing BUT TO THINK OF IT AS THE NOHRIAN ROYAL FAMILY STARTS GNAWING ON MY HANDS

with the song being about emotional dependency, it really does just highlight a lot of how they all built each other up when they didn’t have anything else for them. Or at least, the song reminds me a lot of the siblings’ own mothers not caring for them, and it was only until the siblings found each other that they could start learning to love and it’s that they protect the most and i just ooooooourgh 

thank you for the brainrot :) im going to eat my hands !

#THANK YOU THAT GOT ME SOOOO EXCITED #R.... YOU HAVE BIG BRAIN. #yknow what i also think #that one line that was like 'i loved you like the sun' #THATS HOW I FEEL ABOUT THE NOHRIAN ROYAL FAMILY #like in such an otherwise cold and dark family they made their own sun found within each other #augh. i know theres a lot of angst in the nohrian family that I HADNT GOTTEN TO IN THE DRAMA CDS... but #at the very least thats what i think anyway from the stuff i read from teh supports #i also apologize. majority of my nohrian brainrot comes from me losing my brain in a void so i cant tell if my read is even like. accurate #or am i just waaay too deep into my head LKAJSDHF #anyways again thank you i love a chance to talk about the nohrian sibs and bonus points in talking about music :> #answered #calcescarp #ALSO HONORED THAT YOU SHARED IT WITH ME WOW IT JUST HIT ME FOR A HOT SECOND SO #SHAKES YOUR HAND THANKS

[fgooooooo]

Professor Norton I need a professor norton

#need him to help me focus better #or maybe i teach norton cool subjects #HE IS SUCH A AVID LEARNER TOO 😭 WHAT IF WE TEACH EACH OTHERRRRR #a lil norton in my brain #leona in my brain too... he is so old brother coded to meeeeeeeee #LEONA LET ME EXPLAIN 2 U ABOUT CORAL REEFS #he would listen to you and acr like hes bored but hes actually listening intently #me explaining to norton plushie about the intricacies of microplastics and how theyre gonna affect us in the long run #LOOOKKKKKKK!!!!! ITS SOOOOOOOO #me reading my bioinvasions paper out loud to norton oruwuhdhwhajhs #leona giving you big head pat for working so hard but DON'T OVERWORK!!! look he is so comfort 2 me #he sees your passion and is like: wow i dont want you to be jaded either. but he was smart in order to be loved but #could u imagine if he was passionate again for someone #gawd..gawd #personal

[agayconcept]

.

#so i didnt make a big deal of it but my good news panned out and i am now significantly less financially fucked #and a) oh wow is this what it feels like to not constantly be in a panic about money / survival #also b) do u even knoW how nice it is to know i can give my friends actual holigays gifts this year ?? i get to mail them on monday #im delighted #fuck yes #anyway #ducky is...lucky? for once in their existence ??? #round of applause for surprise family money falling into your lap (much to your estranged everything-phobic family's dismay & disdain) #🎉🎉🎉🎉 #anyway. off to finish my last 2 errands today so i can mail stuff monday #& one local shop was nice enough to arrange me a time that the shop wont be busy or have more than 1 other customer which is gr8 #and is super nice of her #see?? some humans r good actually. in fact life is sometimes good... @myself. brand it into ur brain. not everything is awful all the time #anywho #off to see the wizard...(small local witchy gift & plant shop)

[m1suse]

my mom saw the hickies on my neck and with genuine concern she asked me if I was being abused SAFDJKL

#so many feelings in that moment #1 mom there is bite mark on my NECK and your first thought is 'ASSAULT' wow you're so vanilla mom im so sorry #2 IM EMBARASSED THANKS FOR ANNOUNCING TO EVERYONE IN THE HOUSE I HAVE 'BRUISES' ON MY NECK SAHDFJKS #3 i appreciate the concern but we both know my temper is too strong not fight back and and walk away with anything less than bloody knuckles #dont get me know im not very big and CANNOT fight i've definately gotten my ass kicked before #like at the beginning of tokyo revengers when takemichi provoked that one fight to get his ass absolutely railed #thats me in a fight but significantly louder and obnoxious due to the strong 'karen' genes in my blood #any viral Karen video you see on the internet yeah my grandma dots every i and crosses every t #and every month i can see my mom becoming more and more the name #like mother like daughter #that ends with ME i will kms before i become a middle aged white woman with big ass sunglasses and a feminine bowl cut #all my friends know to off me if i start to go down that path later in life #i forgot what i was posting up top and WOW HOW DID I GET ON THIS TOPIC #this is how my brain works im so sorry #halsey really said it best i'd leave me if i could too girl fuck #this brain is a PRISION #stupid talks

[sp00ky-scary]

watching past seasons of doctor who is kinda silly now because why do the past tardis interiors suddenly look so tiny

#past tardis' were bigger on the inside but like still cosy and a bit small for a ship (when it comes to the console room) #but the new one is so huge and not cosy that i think it'd break your brain entering it #thats not to say i dont like the new tardis but just wow after seeing how big it is i have a new appreciation for past interiors

[leadendeath]

mental health problems and art rant who giv a shit

i've done toony styles before throughout my long time in doing art, and i really want to continue drawing toony styles now.

i feel like i have to strive to make my art look as good as possible, but that's a sisyphean task. i haven't been having fun with art, it's a chore.

i feel like it shows i've been trying too hard. with furry side of things, i've been trying to learn to draw lots of different species- all which takes time. and different body types- which takes time, too- mainly muscle, which is really hard to make it look right, and i think you need to actually learn in-depth anatomy and study equally in-depth diagrams n stuff to really succeed. sucks when you can't draw something you like ://

i've been trying to get better at all these things for 2-3 years, and i haven't seen progress. it's not exactly encouraging.

but when i stop trying with those things? it's like a relief. maybe in more time i'll find a balance between what i call "technical" (meaning muscle, basically) and "toony".

am i being lazy? probably. i can't help but feel like i am. but i'm actually having a good time now. so i don't know if i care :)

#this perfectionism i have is hell #ive always known art is a compulsion for me- i literally am not able to quit even if i wanted to- #but im really realizing Now just how tied to 0cd it actually is #im coming out about having that more; i told a friend the name of the disorder (By Name) for the first time the other day #and it feels weirdly better... like getting it off your chest yknow #im going to a specialist in a few weeks about the disorder im coming to terms with having :)! #because hopefully this is obvious but it causes unbearable repetitive thoughts + problems other than whining about my art skills LOL #and there's no distraction its too much this is just 1 comparitively smaller part of it (just had to clarify on that lol) #i NEVER make drs appointments and ive never had real therapy or any other help (apart from several Wrong meds in the past) so this is BIG #so maybe i'll continue to be more optimistic about art once i get my brain chemicals balanced out a bit #i didnt realise before now either that 0cd's linked to a chemical called noradrenaline WHICH IS LINKED TO YOUR DOPAMINE LEVELS... oh my god #it's all low dopamine? always has been. #still aiming for a ɑdhd diagnosis/assessment but for now this is something #and at least in my country 0cd is easier to get treatment for than ɑdhd #art talk #and more wow what a deal