#like. reality tv style

[padfootastic]

The fact that Sirius would use his animagus form in Azkaban is slightly hilarious to me, because like, did any of the other prisoners notice that there was occasionally a dog in his cell? I have no idea what the layout is or if the prisoners ever see each other (side-note, how are they fed? Do Dementors deliver meals? Do human guards come up for a bit with a Patronus to give them food? Is there a cafeteria where Sirius has to decide if he’ll sit with people he spent a war fighting against or does he sit alone because all non-Death Eaters think he’s guilty? Dying to know if Sirius and the Death Eaters would have to spend about an hour every day pretending they’re all civil with each other even though everyone clearly remembers Sirius nearly killing half of them because they have no other options really), but I always pictured Azkaban with cells that are in close proximity to each other, if only because it feels like the Ministry would make the prisoners watch each other be driven insane by the Dementors, further decaying the others’ minds, so like, surely someone saw the dog. If so, it leads to the interaction of “Black, you’re an animagus?! When? You’re barely in your twenties and there was a war, when did you have the time? Also, you’re not on the registry, that’s definitely illegal.” “What are they gonna do, throw me in Azkaban? I’m already here. Also, maybe you all couldn’t become an animagus in your teens, but I could.”

dude sirius in azkaban is such a huge Problem for me because we have absolutely no information about it other than it makes u lose ur whole mind and ok, on one hand i get why that is (to create such a fantastical, over the top image of this horrible, terrible place without going into mind details) but also. also!!! i just want all the mundane details ykno? everything you mentioned, i wanna know. it’s annoying.

i do think, perhaps bc of the movies, that maybe all the cells are just beside each other? like azkaban is a cliff, yeah? so the cells form a circle, all facing outward? in that case, they probably would’ve never seen sirius, esp if the place was all dark and shadow-y and stuff. and i can’t imagine someone finding out and not doing something about it? like idk what they *can* do but,,,just letting it be seems…weird. of course, it’s also entirely possible that most people inside *have* gone insane so it doesn’t even matter that they’re seeing a dog where there should be a person.

all of that aside, however, it is downright hilarious assuming all the occupants of azkaban having to socialise together for an hour when they get their designated ‘sun time’ in a day. they *have* to play nice, or else. and it’s even funnier when u picture the post-first war pureblood crowd in close proximity with all the criminals. low-key imagining bella, the lestranges, sirius, and everyone else sitting in a circle, drinking tea with their pinkies up and bodies stiffly held and barely concealed sneer on their face. ‘nice weather we’re having today, yes?’ ‘exceptional, exceptional’

and them finding out sirius is an animagus!!! it has so much potential for hilarity.

‘black, there was a dog in your cell yesterday.’

‘no, there wasn’t.’

‘i literally saw—‘ ‘—no you didn’t’

OR

‘black, i know sanity’s the first to go in azkaban and eyesight the second, but i know for a fact i saw you turning into a huge fuckoff dog yesterday so. spill. what was that about?’

‘oh nothing, just you know, i’m an animagus.’

‘you’re a WHAT???’

OR

‘when did you get the time?’

‘just because you’re an incompetent troll, rudy, doesn’t mean we all are.’

‘no, seriously, you’re like. a child. you’ve been in azkaban for years. how—when—‘

‘i’m just that good.’

#sirius black #azkaban #ok this is very random but i just. imagined rabastan as a middle aged dad? for some reason? #he’s the one saying exceptional exceptional #don’t ask me to elaborate on this i will not be able to #lowkey wanna do a series of ficlets on this now ngl #where it’s just all the inmates of azkaban having to interact with each other #like. reality tv style #dude it’ll be so hilarious can u even imagine? #pen’s notes #pen’s asks

[wykart]

Living vicariously...

We all agree that Beta was watching everything, right?

#look. her understanding of human social connection comes from whatever TV shows Tilda had. it's hard to separate fiction from reality #also she doesn't know how to be a person yet. and seyka's pretty. anyway this was Aloy's moment but I'm like. how is beta rn?? #hfw #horizon forbidden west #horizon burning shores #horizon bs #beta hfw #beta sobeck #seyka hfw #seyka #fanart #digital art #my art #the number is a unix timestamp lol #trying a different style w/out lines (my beloved) so this was an experiment

[mercymaker]

they can have a gentle and endearing moment. as a treat!

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3edit #bg3 astarion #astarion ancunin #astarion x tav #astarion #oc: maleane #maleane/astarion #bg3 tav #by me #eBG3 #LISTEN LISTEN i CANNOT even begin to express how much these two mean to me!!! #just the fact that they can both be so terrible and cruel and enjoy toying with other people #to then NOT want to be that to each other? ?? ? that alone is so delicious #and also they're both absolute losers falling in love when they both did that reality tv confession style response of #“who's the most likely to fall in love? oh definitely not me i don't do love lol” #i'd tag my moots btw but i feel like these screenshot posts might become abundant very soon... #so idk if i want to spam all your tags dgfdg

[mittenhater]

i think shakespeare wrote a play just like this

#vanderpump rules #vpr #early vpr was something else #watching out of touch white people be stupid and messy is something that can be so freeing for the soul #where do i even start with this #the soundtrack for this scene is so melodramatic i just know the editors were having a ball #jax smiling with blood dripping down his face is so fucking funny i can't #he was born to play a reality tv villian #sandoval was probably so proud of himself for that 'can you feel this?' line i bet he thought he ate #can't get over lisa's absolute lack of style the majority of time her stylists need to be fired fr #she's such a beautiful women but she dresses like a magician (derogatory). lisa if you see this i'm sorry but it's true #stassi calling herself a good person....... hm. #to be clear i don't she think she deserved how jax treated her at ALL but that doesn't absolve her of being a racist entitled brat #like she is not a good person at all😭 #katie and ariana's hair choices this season were..... something #i think that's it that's all of my current thoughts

[cherry-blossom-qf]

[Promised Prince AU] moment where Magalor gets his relationship revealed to Kirby and Bandee on accident, expecting them to be really against it and hate him, only for them to be super supportive. After all, both of them have seen their fair share of villain-redemptions and if Magalor trusts Oakley then they can do the same. Honestly, I think the majority of the cast either wouldn't care, wouldn't get the potential danger behind it OR are still supportive anyway.

This is semi-canon(?)

--TLDR--

Dedede says "I don't get it, but ok!"

Meta is trying not to judge while lore dropping

Bandadee is questioning the logic of everything

And Kirby is just happy for the Magolor ^w^

Context: AU INFO HERE

#ask tag thingy #my art #magolor the promised prince au #kirby au #yes the spanish is google translated spanish. i'm sorry spanish speakers. i have dora the explorer level spanish. #drew this in the style of a reality tv show if you couldn't tell lol #I say 'semi-canon' cuz I do have something canon cooking up but idk if i'll change my mind so it'll be vague for now #the only thing that is canon is their reactions lol #hope this answers your question anon!! #i know it not exactly what you asked for but i hope you like it anyways

[reinerslawyer]

SHINGEKI NO KYOJIN Reiner in Night of the End

#reiner braun #snk #shingeki no kyojin #attack on titan #aot #snkedit #aotedit #h.gif #want to feel his nose on- *hook comes out behind the curtain and pulls me away at lightspeed* #THIS RLY MIGHT BE MY FAVOURITE EPISODE. PURE COMEDY BUT LIKE :(((( #the reality tv style quick cuts. hange like *chris eva/ns voice* Would anybody like some Salad (Stew)? 😊😬😊 #me getting in front of the camera bc my boyfriend is beating up my boyfriend bc he killed my boyfriends boyfriend like HI KEEP MOVING-

[laundrybiscuits]

If you’re still doing wip weekend I’d love to ask for some bake off please!

WIP Weekend | Askbox | Original GBBO AU snippet EXT. GARDEN PARTY - DAY: AERIAL SHOT OF BAKERS AND FAMILIES SOCIALISING - WE SEE QUICK GLIMPSES OF BAKERS FROM CURRENT SERIES IN PASSING BEFORE CUTTING TO STEVE INTERVIEW STEVE Yeah, it’s been cool just to be in the tent, you know? My best friend’s crazy about this show. Terrible baker, but she loves it. So when I got in, that was like, her dream come true. STEVE V.O. CONTINUES OVER DINESH HELPING STEVE WITH STAND MIXER - MEL SINGING INTO WHISK WITH STEVE - EDDIE HOLDING UP LADLE OF JAM FOR STEVE TO TASTE I gotta say, I didn’t really know that much about, uh, Bake Off when I first showed up, but--yeah. I get it now.  CUT BACK TO INTERVIEW  Wouldn’t change a thing.

#wip weekend #I am still doing these! admittedly slightly out of order #also formatting this was a fucking nightmare #I don’t even think these scripts are created for reality tv? like I think there’s more of a documentary-style audio/visual column situation #but I've never written a script of any kind before so I wanted to try (a deeply incorrect version of) it #I started putting in fake timecode references and then I was like. what am I doing. literally nobody is getting anything out of this. #jesus this approach is a bad idea. still doing it anyway! #GBBO AU

[pegging-satan]

The phrase “toxic old man yaoi” is so fucking funny I’m losing my fucking mind everyone who uses it to describe fukuzawa x fukuchi x mori is literally the funniest I haven’t stopped laughing in the past hour

#YALL ARE SOMETHING ELSE DJDHKSHDKSDHNSHSKSHDKSVSMSBZJDJHDHS #idk what about it is that’s so fucking funny like #ot just IS jdhdhdj #just old men arguing with each other over custody of their kids reality tv show style #I love imagining them in scenarios like those ‘did you pick the kids up’ ‘i thought mori was supposed to pick them up’ ‘….’ ‘…….’ #cut to fukuzawa driving a car fast and furious style to school mowing down every other car in his way Mori in the front one hand clutching #his chest and the other holding on to the side handle for dear life absolutely shit scared #wraps the seatbelt around him several times cartoon style #fukuchi in the back like knitting or crocheting or whatever completely unfazed #hey maybe someone should draw this #maybe I’ll draw this but if anyone wants to please do #bungou stray dogs

[icewindandboringhorror]

I hate the idea of “modernized” adaptations.. if anything we should do the opposite.. take a popular show from 2015 and remake it set in the 1850s or 1400s or something.. it’s about the COSTUMES, it’s about the settings...!! i see fucking iphones and skinny jeans and mcdonalds and automobiles every day of my life.. it’s boring!!!! WHERE are the people in long velvet cloaks.. the elaborate architecture.. the showcase of previously forgotten technology and culture relevant to the time period.... 

#I can't think of a single show that I wouldn't like MORE if it were set in either a historical or a fantasy world #(so long as it had an actual budget and the 'historical fashion' wasn't like.. a prom dress from JC penny or something) #even reality tv shows #I would love a mockumentary style fake 'reality tv' (since it's actually actors doing improv not real people) version of like #bad girls club set in the 1600s or like in a fantasy setting ghvghvgfh #NOTHING.. NOTHING can not be improved by simply setting it in a time and place that is not our own #n o t h i n g #and EVERYTHING can be made worse by setting it in modern times #i have had ENOUGH of modern times.. i fucking LIVE here #let's see something else for a change PLEASE #I don't want to hear a character talk about TikTok... they should be talking about Telegram or Treacherous Magic Portal #Of Communication. #All characters are instantly made better with the knowledge that jeff bezos does not exist to them and none of them have #ever sent a text or rode in a car #(single exception is like 1890s-1910s automobiles that look funny and ONLY if they're a very minor part of the setting OR in a fantasy world #(like.. orcs that actually have cars but it's that type of car gjbjhhj... I like the idea of elevanting fantasy technology in a world #beyond the typical like weird medieval sort of vibes where some groups DO have tech similar to the real world but just older or worse #or weirder versions. elves have basic telegrams and are figuring out glass plate photography. vampires are trying to master #flight at the moment and they keep failing and just sending people off the edge of cliffs to explode. etc. etc. ghbhjb) #ANYWAY .. you get what i mean ghbhj #I'm still trying to go through every media I've ever watched and think if any of them would be worse set in a historical or fantasy #world and I can't think of any.. ultimate improvement tool (again. with the assumption that it's actually handled WELL with a thought out #researched world and decent budget. etc.) #*watching masterchef or something completely average* wow what if everyone was in baroque costumes instead.. this would be better #somehow.. surely the cooking would be improved

[bredforloyalty]

forgive me for my one-track mind but i do believe the main characters are a package deal, a pair, a duo, and the show hinges on them so i have mixed feelings about the last season. i liked that it didn't take centuries to make, to be more precise i don't care about the long wait i care about the erratic workflow that had been causing problems and seems to no longer be part of the process, and i like that quality was consistent and they're not shying away from serialization (that they set up and which was unavoidable anyway). what i don't like is that morty was almost relegated to a side character role i would guess that's partly because if they explored his perspective a whole bunch of crap would have to also be explored and shown in a different light, this is by no means the only way to interpret the show but maybe treating morty more like a serious character with a complex inner life would have to mean rick's vilification to an extent and that would be risky

#basically the grooming will continue to be explained away and the dynamic has shifted without the actual steps that kind #of growth would take because what else can you do gdsgbcy alienate part of the audience? no way #and it's a delicate balance between moments of drama and sillygoofy creative sci-fi shit‚ i understand if the latter is what they needed to #set themselves straight‚ the focus on beth and summer and jerry was fun and i like that it felt grounded #which is good for this show specifically!!! it's like with anatomy i think‚ you gotta learn that and learn realistic drawing so you can #push beyond that and be purposeful about it and develop your own style that isn't as tethered to reality. and here too it's probably best #to learn/remember every once in a while how to do the basic components of a tv show well (to make it successful and coherent and #emotionally satisfying) and then you can get real wacky with it and go into self-actualization territory #but i miss wacky!!! does that make sense #kata.txt #rnm

[polygondotcomvideoproducer]

portland and seattle are fairly similar cities and are pretty close to each other. i’d also say theyre more queer friendly (youre probably familiar with the whole ‘greater seattle polycule’) plus the pacific northwest (where theyre at) is absolutely gorgeous

Aren't we all members of the greater seattle polycule in a way

#u have to opt out of the polycule. or ur voted out reality tv style #anyway that makes sense ig #whenever I hear about portland I just think of that one post that's like #''u can ask an american where they're from and they'll say something like ''portland'' like they expect u to know where that is'' #so I simply cannot look up where portland is. on principle 😔 #where the state of oregon is? none of my business #I voted boston fairly arbitrarily. it seems neat

[myinterestsvary-writes]

“I was wrong. This ain’t good for me. I mean this shit tonight was embarrassing. I’ve been ignoring this feeling I’ve had all along but…I gotta take a step back. Like this—messy shit is just…toxic to me and I’m good.”

Nathan Campbell, I’ve never kinned a character so bad.

#insecure hbo #tv shows #mental health matters #like the amount of shot I’ve read in this year so far involving my favourite characters in SOME DISGUSTING TOXIC ASS MESSES like #not my style but entertaining as fuck #I hate reality tv I hate soap operas I hate musicals #I hate actual real life drama like my life is boring and nice and I prefer that for my characters #but I gotta add a range I guess and these treats have been hitting but oh man could I go without it #people who thrive on this on the daily in fandom one question: #‘bitch you live like this?’

[candlewaxandp0lar0ids]

.

#just arrived in my new apartment #in a new country #where i only have a moderate grasp of the language #on a very related note #if anyone has any recommandations for german youtubers/podcast/tv shows/programms i'd be super grateful! #video essayist style or true crime is perfect #as for programmes i'll try basically anything other than reality tv dating shows #i do have a fondness for shows where they renovate houses or stuff like that

[nevvdrinksteaa]

PLEASE Spencer answering a work call in the middle of sex??? Super smutty

just wanna say that this is my first request and it makes me feel special so thank you !!! hopefully you like this <3

pairing: spencer reid x reader

warnings: 18+ nsfw smut, porn with small plot, afab reader, fingering, p in v sex, post prison spence, riding, doggy style, and missionary (yall were busy), spitting kink !!, spanking (once?), face slapping (i’m not sorry), slight oral (f receiving), lots of pet names (baby, angel, pretty girl), let me know if i missed anything !!

word count: 1.8k (got a little carried away)

also note to everyone- y’all absolutely devoured my spencer post the other day, a little less than 800 notes last i checked, and i just want to say i was very caught off guard and appreciate it so much !!

+ i apologize for the overuse of commas & very limited vocabulary,, i feel like i used the same 10 words smh

+ NOT PROOF READ !!

~~~

“i was able to talk to the brass about getting the week off. the past few weeks have been tough and i think we all need a well deserved break.”

you were all gathered in the round table room for a meeting emily called. in the past two weeks, the team had been assigned three back to back cases; which meant three different unsubs, three different cities, and three different hotel rooms. you hadn’t slept in your own bed in fifteen days, already feeling giddy at the thought of snuggling up in your bed, binge watching mindless reality tv, and fueling yourself with nothing but sweet treats.

matt was the first to speak, already standing up gathering his things from the table, “as much as i love you all i’m going to rush home to the wife and kids, i miss their little faces”

you all followed suit, collecting all of your belongings and saying your goodbyes, all of you raving about your week off plans. you walked to your desk, grabbing your bag and keys. you walked towards the elevator, pressing the down button, watching it slowly fall from floor 10 to floor 9, before tapping your foot, slightly agitated about how long it seemed to be taking.

you heard footsteps heading your way, small taps on sneakers on the slick marble floor, before felt a slight nudge at your side “you know, being mad at it won’t make it work any faster”

you chuckle looking up, making eye contact with spencer before giving him a small grin. “i’m just really ready to get home.”

the elevator doors open, spencer waved his hand up, allowing you to go first, before following you in and pressing the main lobby button. “you in such a rush because you have a hot date to get to?”

you looked up at him and grinned, you felt spencer’s hand move to your back, rubbing the center in small circles with your thumb. you felt your face get hot and you allowed yourself to slightly lean into his touch. the elevator stopped at the lobby, a small chime signaling the doors opening, and you felt spencer’s hand fall back to his side before you both stepped out of the box.

you both made your way to the parking garage, spencer walking you to your car before he headed towards the station to take the subway. you got to your car, unlocking it and throwing your purse inside before looking up at him with a slight smirk “text me when you’re on your way”

he shook his head and laughed as he gave you a small wave goodbye and headed towards the subway.

~~~

it had only been three days since you were given the week off, enjoying the company of spencer in your bed two thirds of those nights. he texted you the same night as the encounter in the parking garage, eager to see you in a private setting.

“look how pretty you look sitting on my cock”

you were straddling him, your head thrown back with both hands on his shoulders as you tried to keep a quick pace. he had his hands pressed deep into your hips, helping you move in a fluid motion. you felt him hit your sweet spot every time you made your way down, letting out tiny whimpers at the feeling.

“i love when you use me like this, getting yourself off like a good girl”

you couldn’t hold in the loud moan you had been holding, feeling your stomach flutter at his words. you felt a slight burning in your thighs and you knew spencer’s shoulders held tiny crescent shapes from how tight your grip had become. you felt one of spencer’s hands move to your clit, rubbing small circles on the bundle of nerves.

he grabbed your chin, making you look him in the eyes. you looked at him and grinned, fucked out and eager before you felt a sudden surge against your cheek before he let his hand rest there, rubbing his thumb to ease the pain.

“you gonna cum for me angel?”

“fuck- yes spence, i’m so- so close” you couldn’t even hear the words coming out of your mouth, your heartbeat beating so loud your hearing going out.

you moved your head down pushing your forehead to spencer’s with your eyes tight.

“cum for me baby, wanna feel you tighten around my cock.”

you felt that tight feeling in your stomach, the mix of his skilled fingers and his thick cock rubbing against your walls caused your breath to stop in your throat, your release making you see stars. you stopped your movement, breathing heavily as you leaned down into spencer. you felt soft kisses on your head and face, peppering you all over.

“did so good for me baby, love watching you use me”

you smiled against his neck, starting to do your own kissing. you felt his breath hitch when you found the sweet spot behind his ear, the small mole behind it always guiding you to the exact spot. you took your time, sucking and biting at the spot, grinding your hips, ready to keep going.

spencer gave your thigh a quick tap, before telling you to bend over. you were quick to roll over, propping yourself up on your hands and knees before slowly wiggling yourself back and forth to him.

you felt a sharp pain on your ass, a slight stinging feeling before you felt a tight grip run through your hair. you felt your body being pulled tightly to his, his chest flushed against your back. he moved one of his hands to your chest, a his fingers glazing your nipple, his other moving to your neck, pushing his thumb and middle finger to just the right spot to apply pressure.

“i let you use me, now it’s my turn to use you angel” spencer had leaned down to your ear, kissing your jaw before pushing you back down onto the bed.

spencer leaned down slightly, gripping your ass with both hands before spreading them. he let a trail of spit fall to your eager hole, before he rubbed it onto your pussy, giving your clit extra attention.

you moaned and pushed back into his touch before you felt him enter you quick and unforgiving, your ass jiggling with every move of his hips.

“fuck- so fucking deep” you arched your back, begging your body to somehow take him deeper. you felt his firm calloused hands rub against your back before settling into a position on your hips, his thumbs pressing small bruises into your skin.

“taking me so fuck-”

spencer’s voice was cut off by his phone ringing, vibrating on the nightstand beside you, and you felt his hips slow down, letting out a soft sigh as he was considering stopping completely.

you felt him hesitate but needed him to keep going, pushing your hips back into his trying to keep both of your focus.

“spence, please don’t stop” your voice still unsteady, “just ignore it”

spencer pulled out of you, and you let out a whine as the loss of contact. you rolled yourself over, making yourself comfortable on the pillows expecting him to walk away to return the call.

instead he leaned back over you and pulled you into a deep kiss, holding your face in both hands. your lips parting slightly when you felt his tongue lick your bottom lip, allowing your tongues to meet.

spencer grabbed his dick, rubbing over your clit before he lined himself up with you, gasping when he pushed himself in.

“you’re so fucking perfect angel”

he pulled away, lifting your legs up to your shoulders and latching his hands to your thighs. he found himself moving slow and deep, like he was trying to memorize the way you felt around him.

you moved your hands to play with your nipples, rolling the hard buds between your finger tips. he bent down, pushing his weight into you, almost like he was folding you. he pooled spit into his mouth before he let it go to your clit, moving his hand to the bundle of nerves.

“want you to cum again for me pretty girl, want one more before i fill you up”

you let out a moan, sighing before you went to speak “gonna fill me-”

you were cut off by the phone ringing again, the buzzing sound making you forget your thoughts. spencer dropped your thighs and leaned over before giving you a quick kiss before he reached over to grab phone.

“spencer do not answer that”

he moved his finger to his lips, making a shushing motion “it’s emily”

you rolled your eyes, ready to kick him out and finish yourself off before heading to bed when you felt him move again. he moved his hand to cover your mouth before answering the phone.

“doctor reid”

you felt yourself get wetter, the sound of your slick filling the room, your moan mumbled behind his hand. spencer’s motion was relentless, his pace quick and brutal, jabbing your sweet spot with every push.

“i thought we were getting the week off”

your leg was lifted up, making the angle even deeper and you felt your eyes roll back, out of pleasure or annoyance you couldn’t tell. there was no way you were getting called in.

“i can get a hold of her for you, i remember her mentioning something about having a date this week”

you grinned, giggling behind his hand before spencer moved the phone to hold it on his shoulder, letting his now free hand to move back down. he never took his eyes off you, holding a shit eating grin as he felt you squeezing him tighter, squirming at how close you were. you furrowed your brows and pinched your eyes shut.

“i’ll be there in an hour”

you heard the phone beep, signaling the call was disconnected. spencer moved his hand away from your mouth down to your neck, cursing as he heard you gasp.

“did so good for me pretty girl”

his hips stopped deep inside you as you felt his cock twitch, filling you up. he groaned as he felt you cumming again, keeping his thumb in place to help your orgasm finish and you let a loud moan out in response. spencer gave you a long kiss, nipping at your bottom lip before he trailed his lips down your neck. he pulled himself out of you, grinning at the soft sigh you let out. he kept his lips on your body, trailing them down your stomach before reaching your thighs and nipping at the sensitive skin.

he moved his tongue and licked a long strip up your pussy, sucking on your clit before pulling up to look at you, shit eating grin on his face. “we’ve got roughly 30 minutes, that’s enough time for me to help you clean up, right angel?”

#nev writes #prison spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid smut #spencer reid #criminal minds smut #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds

[intricatecaprice]

When Charles II of Spain died, leaving no children, one of the potential heirs was Philip V, of the House of Bourbon.

This is PhilIp V in 1700. What a baby face!

But Philip was anything but a baby. When Charles died, he didn't relax. He didn’t announce his mourning period, as might have been customary. He didn’t even advertise the funeral.

Which meant Philip had the potential to become the King of Spain AND France.

He went straight into proclaiming himself the new King.

Why?

Because he knew a war was coming.

Because Philip V was also 3rd in line to France’s throne.

So what did Philip do to convince his new subjects to accept him...?

And no one wanted that - thus began the War of the Spanish Succession.

Parties.

He decreed parties.

He gave them celebration after celebration, festival after festival. All through the war. Bourbon births, Bourbon marriages, Bourbon deaths, he created more and more dates in the year to be remembered and honoured - but this was just propaganda.

Keep the people happy, keep them having 'fun', and get them invested in Keeping Up with the Bourbons.

#spanish history #18th century #war of spanish succession #thankfully our Australian politicians haven't quite got to using reality tv style promotion #yet #dmtnt: background history #but it's just so weird to me #this focus on making everybody celebrate the Bourbon family's everything #kind of makes me think of Trump #no not the same and no i don't want political discourse but Trump is recognised by Australians because of reality tv #doesn't mean he is liked #but he's certainly recognised #and when you consider that Australians in general don't know or care much about 99% of American politicians #that's a crazy achievement

[keyotos]

well aware, you are always mine

summary ⎯ bf headcanons w/ hsr men!!

includes ⎯ dan heng, gepard, blade, sampo, jing yuan

tana's thoughts ⎯ keyotos being active and writing?!!!?!!?!?!

dan heng

⎯ TOTAL acts of service bf. cuts fruit for you, organizes your closet with you, helps you rearrange ur bookshelf. like all of that. he is ur #1 helper in all situations and is probably the most reliable person u know. if ur ever having problems, you always call dan heng bc he always solves them for you

⎯ considerate bf. listens to all ur song recommendations and also your book recommendations. never takes your word with a grain of salt (most of the time)

⎯ not a big fan of shopping trips, but will go with you anyway. he will carry all your bags and help you pick out clothes. AND HE WILL GIVE U ACTUAL FREAKING ADVICE INSTEAD OF BEING LIKE, "it all looks good on you."

⎯ like dan heng will pull up with, "that color washes you out," or, "that does not match your color pallete at all." he's detailed wit it too?? the only reason why he knows all of this is bc he pays attention to you.

you see something you like? let's find it in that color that matches w/ ur fav pants so you can wear it all the time. don't worry, i already found it.

you look dissatisfied? dan heng thinks he knows why: you think it won't look good. oh, he was right? well, he can help you style it in a way for it to look good. you can wear that with the shirt you like so much, with some added jewelry, of course.

⎯ does not spend ANY TIME in his room (but who could rlly blame him). he's always in yours and he's lying down in your bed. he takes the phrase, "make yourself at home," to another level. but i guess he gets a pass bc you literally are his home.

⎯ he's sarcastic asl. since his guard is down with you, there's not really a need to maintain seriousness at all times. his dry and sarcastic humor really comes out when you're around him specifically. dating dan heng would make u a victim of the sassy men apocalypse.

⎯ dan heng is the type of person to stare at you lovingly (like HEART EYES are coming out) while you guys are taking a photo together. and you wouldn't even know until you saw the photo. like picture this: you are over here smiling and being cute or whateva. and then dan heng is there. he's obliviously staring at you: like how the light perfectly bounces off your face and how perfectly your eyes crinkle when you smile.

⎯ when he feels secure around you, he is the definition of lovesick. longing stares from far away (even tho ur dating)? yes. touchy (you make sure to tease him about it)? yes. buries his head in the nape of your neck? duh. like he is the whole package and he can never seem to let you go... like ever. you are constantly stuck in his head and also his body.

gepard

⎯ hilariously bad at taking pictures. like you tell him to get one angle and he gets the exact opposite angle. manages to always catch you off guard in every. single. picture. his excuse for this is, "but you look good in all of them :/"

⎯ when he gets super tired after work, sometimes when he gets home and finishes showering/etc, he just flops onto u. like. literally flops onto you. you're always shocked at first, but you move him into a position where he can comfortably sleep (and hold you) in and then you relax. he always apologizes for it later in the morning and makes sure to shower you in more affection than last night, but you always reassure him that it's fine.

it's only bc u take the time to take equally bad photos of him #payback.

⎯ you have to water his plants for him. we all saw this coming. but on the bright side, that means ur home more often!! and when you greet him on the couch after a long day... like you've never heard a deeper sigh of relief before. doesn't collapse on you like other days (thankfully). you two just spend the night eating dinner on the couch and watching reality tv. sometimes, when you fall asleep on the couch, gepard always brings a blanket from your bedroom and drapes it over you. and then he carries you into bed.

⎯weirdly good at cracking your back for you. like if he wasn't the captain of the silvermane guards, he could very well be a freaking chiropractor. like he knows all the right joints to pop, all the right places to put his hands, and all the right places to press down. and it feels SO GOOD. you've never asked him about it.

⎯ gets you really cute and considerate gifts since he isn't around a lot. sometimes gets lynx to deliver them for him. and they're always paired with your favorite flowers too. all his gifts r things that he remembered you liked/wanted (new shampoo brand, new book pela recommended, new plants).

⎯ still asks if you wanna go out even if you two have been dating long term. like he would text you and be like, "would you like to go out with me for coffee," all formal and wtv, and you would respond like, "gepard we have been dating for five years. you do not need to ask."

he would get all flustered when you would bring it up at the coffee shop. pays for your coffee so you could forget about it (you don't: you tease him endlessly).

⎯ learns other things for you. he's dedicated and loyal to you like how a soldier is dedicated to their general. if you wanted a specific kind of dish, gepard would learn how to create it. if you wanted to learn how to plant certain seeds, gepard would run to the florist (and pela) to ask for many tips. if you spoke a different language, gepard would be running to duolingo.

though there is always his duty, a part of his heart and soul will always belong to you.

blade

⎯ contrary to gepard, takes the BEST FUCKING PHOTOS of you. he should be a professional photographer or something because, all the photos he takes, makes you look like a MODEL. he gets all the angles perfectly right + he always makes sure the lighting looks good. and u look back at all the photos he took and ur jaw is DROPPED

⎯ hates going outside x goes outside 24/7. you're big on exploration and fun while blade wants to lie low. but either way, you two manage to have fun in your own respective ways. blade watches you from a distance (of 1 foot) and only intervenes if he needs to. other than that, you drag him around the entire place. he is not complaining: one stupid and cheeky grin from you, and blade realizes he is an absolute goner.

⎯ a little too supportive. it's a good thing in all aspects except for one: making decisions. this mf is like, "whatever you do, i fully support your decision." BUT THE PROBLEM IS THAT YOU CANNOT MAKE A DECISION. THAT'S WHY UR ASKING HIM.

⎯ this problem comes up very often during shopping trips. where dan heng excels at shopping trips, blade... not so much. blade is the type of bf to say, "everything looks good on you." but not bc he doesn't care enough: he genuinely thinks you look good in everything.

in his mind it's like: how could you think you look bad in that outfit when you are radiating luminosity from every crevice of the room??? does anyone else see that glow coming from you, or was it just him??

⎯ did not have a favorite color until you. he actually didn't have a lot of favorites before he met you. now his favorite color is blue (you like looking at the sky), his favorite scent is peach blossoms (the shampoo you use), and his favorite food is fried rice (it's the only thing you know how to make).

⎯ does ur hair for u. expert in hair care but it's not uncalled for (his only friends⎯not counting you⎯are silverwolf and kafka). you need to braid your hair? blade has already offered before u could even pull up a tutorial. a new cute hairstyle you wanted to try? don't worry, your boyfriend is there to help you part, section, and clip your hair.

⎯ pretends to give off big scary dog energy, in reality he is a small little lapdog. desires your love and affection so often. does not go out without you. grabs things n carries them to u like a cute little dog would. he's very devoted okay?? let him bring u stupid little trinkets and stay by ur side all the time.

⎯ you send him stupid ass memes all the time. one time u sent him one of those stupid 'good night' memes and he threatened to block you (lovingly). but he found that his reactions always make you laugh (and blade wants to keep you happy forever), so he just lets you send them to him atp. most nights, he sends a simple, "good night" text back. but when he wants to tease you, he sends a goodnight meme back.

⎯ those nights, he thinks that he hears your ecstatic giggles from down the hall. you sound so giddy that it makes his heart want to blow up. those are the good nights.

sampo

⎯ bro is mischievous. he leaves little sticky notes for you all around the house and makes it a game for u to find them. they're not even super important too they're just little things like, "i miss you," or, "did u find all the notes???"

⎯ but he knows you get bored easily, so he made those notes so that you could have something to do during the day. his intentions are adorably sweet, but his execution is so. um. A FOR EFFORT!

⎯ most of the stuff he gives you... hate to break it to u but they are usually stolen. if you choose to ignore that, great! most of the things he grabs are usually rare and u have no idea how he gets them. you swear he doesn't leave belobog, but some of the items he gifts you seem a little too... outlandish. but yk, it's the thought that counts!

⎯ manages to distract you from every single task. usually disruptive, but sometimes, very helpful. after an entire day of work, you can always come back home to where sampo is, because he will always find a way to distract you from whatever stress you have on your plate. whether it be cooking you dinner or simply talking you through his day, you always find yourself feeling slightly better around him.

⎯ has a good relationship with your family. yeah this was very unexpected on both ends. your parents love him: they love his humor and his looks and literally are charmed by him. even tho is a CON ARTIST. anyway. sampo loves your parents and messes around with you by calling them as their parental names (mom/dad). you are not amused.

⎯ grabs dinner before he comes back home. always manages to swing by a place you like and he always gets free food (you've gave up trying to question his methods). before, when he brought home food, it was usually a special occasion because he would never be home often. now, it's a common occurrence: he's wanted to be with you more, and now he brings home food every day.

jing yuan

⎯ the xianzhou's nagging king. this is not a good thing. he nags at you for a lot. did you take your allergy meds? did you eat breakfast today or just drink coffee? did you forget to clear out the pencils on your desk? he does it out of endearment. it does not make it less annoying (lies).

⎯ so accustomed to your little routines together that he can do it with his eyes closed. how do you want your tea? easy: he can list it within ten seconds. he can make it with his eyes closed. and he will always make it perfectly too.

⎯ lets you sleep on mimi (you could say you go mimimimi). not even gonna lie, sometimes he wishes he was mimi. you just sleep so peacefully on her, but you refuse to sleep on jing yuan. you make up stupid excuses like, "your bicep is going to be numb by the time we wake up." but that is simply not true (it is).

⎯ favorite times of day are when it's night. okay that didn't make any sense but he really just likes spending the night with you. it's quiet and the world is much less loud, and it feels like being with you redefined the definition of happiness. everything is so much more peaceful, and plus, you were there.

⎯ being a cloud knight general has its negative aspects. so, much like gepard, he would probably also crash into bed with you at night. but this time, he doesn't need you to move him, because he traps you in between his arms every. damn. time. it's like this man cannot fall asleep without you.

⎯ sitting down with him is like a chore. if you two are sitting down, jing yuan likes to grab your legs and move them onto himself, so you two would be closer. this isn't just on the sofa, by the way. armchairs, conference chairs, office chairs. the chairs don't even have to be connected. he'll just find a way to connect you two anyway.

⎯ you are the first person he looks for in a crowded room. in a place full of people, jing yuan's eyes will only scan for you. his height makes it easier to do so btw. but anyway, you are someone of great importance to him. he doesn't want to lose you like how he lost so many. and when he finds you, it's like the sun shines directly on you: it's always a surreal sight when jing yuan sees you, because he always thinks the sun has risen.

⎯ it hasn't. he was always looking at you.

AND GOOD NIGHT. jfc.

#tana writes (∗´ ᨔ `∗) #honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #hsr #hsr x reader #dan heng x reader #dan heng x you #gepard x reader #gepard x you #blade x reader #blade x you #blade x y/n #sampo x reader #sampo x you #jing yuan x reader #jing yuan x you #i forgot how fun it is to write hcs #i didn't put much thought into these which i kinda miss ngl