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mageofseven · 11 months

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How about a reader that was pregnant when they were chosen as an exchange student ? Like the baby's father is not in the picture and reader *isn't* involved with boys romantically and when the boys discover readers pregnant after lesson 16 they're just "oh Shi-"

This is an old ask from before my long ass hiatus, but I'm honestly still really interested in this.

Okay so here's some set up info for how Imma do this:

MC knew she was pregnant, but was so overwhelmed about it that she welcomed the fact that she was magically kidnapped into going to demon school and that she had something to distract herself from the literal growing problem in her uterus.

The baby was also transfered to the new body after what Belphie did to her.

Like it was requested, MC is not currently dating any of the Boys.

They found out because they had her get checked by a doctor despite Barbatos making sure she was okay with his time power; this was mostly done out of over-protectiveness and no one actually thought anything would come of it.

I don't do reader posts so obviously this will be MC.

Now that that's out of the way, let's give this a go!

•▪︎▪︎◇°●♡●°◇▪︎▪︎•

Lucifer:

Is visibly shocked by this and has MC explain herself.

When he hears how her boyfriend knocked her up and abandoned her not long before she was brought to the Devildom, the pride demon makes a mental note to ask her for the man's name at another time so he can handle that little pest.

Feels terrible guilty about what she went through and even worse that she went through it while pregnant.

I see Lucifer as this heavily anxious man with a soft spot for kids and that includes babies that are works-in-progress (WIP).

Hovers around her constantly after that, making sure she taking every vitamin and supplement she and her child needs.

Just becomes super protective of her while also trying to pretend he's not.

Eventually takes her off of cooking duty so she'll have one less thing to worry about.

Despite not being the father or having such a relationship with her, he takes full responsibility for all aspects of this from teleporting her here while pregnant to Belphie offing both her and her child in her last body.

Doesn't go as far as to call himself this child's father, but anyone who saw this man hovering over her would definitely think he was.

Like always, Lucifer just wants to take care of his family and now sees MC and her child as such.

Mammon:

Literally freaks out while trying to pretend he isn't.

To him, her being pregnant just made this whole situation 1000000x worse.

Feels bad that he didn't know about her kid.

Like, he's the brother whose been by her side the most and he never even noticed anything was off with her.

He's not the most observant man so I'm not surprised.

He's her First! She should have just told him, or so he tells her.

Keeps an extra close eye on her to keep this crazy freaking human from doing anything bad for herself or her kid

And let's face it, she literally got herself killed not long ago so anything can happen.

The further her pregnancy gets, the more this man tries to keep his brothers away from her.

He just extra possessive as time goes on.

I mean yeah, this kid ain't his but he wishes it was so freaking much but he's still gonna look after the two of them.

Honestly, this man wouldn't be able to handle a single other bad thing happening to his Human.

Leviathan:

Ohmanohmanohman--

Is really freaking out and doesn't even try to hide it.

I mean this is serious!

Not only did MC die but so did her WIP kid????

I mean yeah, they are both back but this all still sucks.

You know the phrase 'kicking a person while they're down'? Well this is like using a freaking flamethrower while the human was already down!

Honestly becomes super awkward with his Henry after learning about her pregnancy

But slowly gets used to it as he discovers that MC just wants him to treat her as he always has.

Yeah! He can do that!...kinda.

He feels bad that he can't help her through most of it.

This man knows absolutely nothing about pregnancy and feels like he is mediocre at comforting people at best.

Still, if she ever needs someone to distract her with anime so she doesn't have to think of the little WIP in her uterus then Levi is her man.

Satan:

Honestly...this man is less than thrilled.

MC is the first person he's ever truly gotten close to and that includes his 'brothers'

So to hear that the person he cares about most is pregnant...

Well on the plus side, he knows there's a human man in the other realm for him to torture so that makes him feel better.

Doesn't like kids, but is at MC's side as much as possible.

One of the brothers willing to hold her hair back during bouts of morning sickness.

Not one to hover, but does get a little protective when Belphie is in the same room as her.

Knows the Avatar of Sloth won't hurt her anymore but...well, he still can't get the image of MC's dead body out of his head

And angy boy is still angy at him for it.

Other than that, he reads a shit ton of pregnancy books to learn what MC's body is going through and different methods to comfort her through it.

Asmodeus:

Honestly, this usually chatty brother was speechless when it was announced.

When he saw all eyes fall on the human and make her overwhelmed, he ran to his friend and hugged her tightly.

Was the one to hype up the other guys and get everyone to say they'll take care of her and that they have her back

Because honestly, this woman and her child literally died for his family; you can bet your ass he's going to make sure each and every one of his brothers does their part in taking care of the pregnant human.

Doesn't immediately think about killing the runaway baby daddy, but if it becomes a family field trip to hunt the bastard and kill him, Asmo is so down for it.

Mostly focuses on what he can do for MC in the moment though.

Another brother to comfort her during morning sickness.

It's gross af but he uses it to remind his brothers that hey! I'm getting close to a vomiting woman each morning so y'all better be as dedicated to the cause as I am.

Beelzebub:

This man literally did nothing wrong, but acts as if it's all his fault.

So much happened in his family right under his nose and things led to such extremes that his twin literally killed this woman and her child.

More or less feels like he needs to step up and pay atonement for what his twin did

And is probably the brother who takes care of her the most.

This situation has shown how much he actually wants to be a parent one day

And literally asks MC later in her pregnancy if he can be her baby's daddy

He doesn't care about genetics at all, just wants MC to let him help her raise the child and make him a daddy 🥺

Literally the sweetest man to ever exist.

MC would be a fool not to accept.

Belphegor:

Probably the guiltiest of all of the men.

I mean, he did it. He killed MC and relished in it.

Granted, he didn't know she was carrying a little hitchhiker, but still.

Belphie lost himself in his pain to such a strong degree that...he wonders that even if he did know...would he have been able to stop himself from doing what he did

And honestly, the fact that he doesn't know scares the hell out of him.

Avoids MC for the first couple months of her pregnancy because honestly, he feels too guilty to even look at her

And... honestly, he doesn't know if he even trusts himself around her.

Thanks to Beel's encouragement, the sloth demon slowly finds himself interacting with the pregnant human

And eventually decides that the best way to atone for what he did (if it's even possible) is to take care of her and the kid the best he can.

He doesn't like kids and just sees pregnancy as unnecessary torture for people with uteruses

But honestly, none of that matters anymore.

He may not have been the one to knock the woman up, but he did fuck up the worst out of everyone in this situation.

Will feel better whenever the family hunting party starts and he can give that pathetic man a taste of what he deserves.

Looks like it's Human Season for this hunting demon.

Diavolo:

Also a man with an overwhelming sense of guilt.

Other than the actual process of making the baby, everything that happened was either because of something he directly or indirectly did to start up the exchange program.

Also regrets not having regular check ups on his exchange students because surely they all would have discovered this sooner and prevented anything from happening to the pregnant woman.

Has regular doctor visits scheduled for MC to make sure she and her baby stay healthy and pays for all of it, including any medications she may need during this progress.

Pregnancy can be really fucking expensive, but the prince makes sure she never has to worry about that side of things.

Just focus on staying healthy and letting your baby grow, MC; he and the other men will handle everything else.

Barbatos:

Knew before everyone else did.

I mean, this man literally had to make sure the baby transfered over too.

This man is seriously a hero that doesn't get the credit he deserves nor does he seek such.

MC and her baby are safe now and that's all that matters to the butler.

Honestly frets over the woman on the inside, but shows no sign of it externally.

Is the man that takes her to all her doctors appointments and was there when she discovered the gender of her baby.

Congratulated her as she sobbed happy tears and was honestly grateful that he could share such a moment with her.

Honestly becomed really attached to MC during her pregnancy and looks forward to watching her child grow up.

Solomon:

Honestly, his intuition had been tingling for a while on this subject.

He suspected this pregnancy, but figured it was none of his business and didn't want to pry into the fellow human's personal life.

If he would have known such an event would happen with Belphie though, he would have stepped in and got answers.

He didn't though. The sorcerer had no clue how events were going to unfold.

Hindsight is telling him that he should have pryed more, but his manners told him it was right to respect the woman's privacy.

Doesn't do too much in regards to taking care of his friend since the demons seem to have it all covered and even seem to somewhat resent the sorcerer when he tries.

Believe it's better not to step on any toes, so to speak.

Is still a good friend to MC though and always offers an ear if they need to vent about the process with someone.

Simeon:

This all happened before the pregnancy had progressed enough for him to sense the baby.

He did however sense...something within the human since he met her, but didn't understand what.

Hindsight is really hurting this poor angel's heart 😔

Become the woman's biggest support in an emotional sense.

Pregnancy is hard and hormones flare and everything can seem so stressful, especially to a scared single mom.

This man is often the one comforting her when she breaks down into tears, even when it's over small stuff like someone ate the last cookie or she lost her pen.

He makes sure MC knows how strong she is and that she will make it through this this difficult time.

Luke:

Demons!!! Back away from the pregnant woman or this chihuahua will bite.

Okay, not really, but the brothers make this joke a lot.

Luke is very protective of MC in this situation.

Since he is just a child, he wasn't told what happened between her and Belphie in complete detail.

Really just thinks the stupid demon hurt her feelings and the angelic boy will not allow it to happen again!

Grows increasingly curious as MC's belly grows; angels don't have kids in this way so this boy has a lot of questions about what's happening to her body.

The fact that there's an actual baby just chilling and growing in her belly boggles this boy's mind.

Is honestly excited for MC's baby and feels like he about to be come a big brother!

This boy is determined to do his part and take care of her just like the adults do.

Mostly just keeps her company and bakes for her when her cravings give her a sweet tooth.

Little Lukey keeps her spirits up and MC loves him for it.

#obey me #obey me otome #obey me mc #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me brothers #obey me undateables #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me solomon #obey me simeon #obey me luke

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candyfloss-techno-hell · 2 years

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This ask is sorta random, but its a thought I rly wanted to share since I think it’s kinda wholesome :)

If you think about it, Roger’s wife Kamillah is living every fan girl’s fanfic dream. From my understanding, she met him when she was working as his driver and he literally fell in love with her at first sight. Compared to his other wives and gfs (except Judy I guess, not sure about Carolyne) all of them were sorta prominent or worked in the entertainment industry like Priscilla and Laurie. The way he looks at her is unlike the way he’s ever looked at anyone in my observation. I think she really is the one. He always dedicates the last song for her at his recent concerts.

Good for her, I’m honestly so happy for them. Hope they stay together forever ❤️ (this is so random, apologies for the nonsensical ramble!)

Does he really dedicate songs to her ? That's indeed really sweet. I'm not sure how you evaluate 'the way he looks at her' though, especially compared to other partners, given how few pictures we have of Roger + Kamilah together and even fewer of him + previous wives.

I do believe he's finally found true love with Kamilah, but I don't think her social/professional background has much to do with it. True love transcends class or income ; though I guess social expectations among certain social groups and tensions linked with money can jeopardize a marriage, and there might have been some of that in his relationship with Carolyne, Priscilla and Laurie. But tbh trying to resolve the mystery of Roger's many failed marriages is a bit of a useless quest until the day he clears it up himself. There just isn't enough info out there, it's all conjecture.

What makes me believe in the viability of his relationship with Kamilah is what he's said about his new vision of love in several interviews a few years ago. It's not that he had a massive breakthrough or that he realized he never actually loved his previous wives, more that his understanding of love & relationships has matured in the meantime. He's finally linked the part of his psyche that cares about the plight of human beings all over the world and the part that falls in love with women ; he's figured out that romantic love should stem from the basic, universal brotherly love that you might call charity or humanitarianism. I wanna say, 'duh !' But you know, better late than never.

Relevant interview excerpts (+ links to full interview) :

Are you married now ? RW : "No, I’m… not. I’m single. [...] I did fall deeply, deeply, deeply in love about a year ago and uh… I’m not going to talk about that except to say that that has opened up fresh horizons." Being in love is different than it was before, or…? "Yeah. With all due respect to my many ex-wives. [...] Oh god, my god yeah, open yourself up to love… It’s the hardest, most kind of dangerous thing that anybody can do. And that’s, you know, on a personal level with a woman… But it points the way maybe to the fact that there is only one path worth walking in life, and that is to attempt, insofar as you can, to open yourself up to everybody else as well. That is the mission, is to discover how much you can open yourself up to the rest of humanity." WTF Podcast, october 2016 (before he was with Kamilah)

Tell us about "Wait for Her." Why did you decide to interpret that poem into an English ballad, and what special meaning does it hold for you? "Well, that’s sort of private. You see it has something to do with love and it has something to do with how feeling the power of emotions that one can feel in a love affair, in a love for a woman or a man, I don’t care … Romantic love, and physical love and passionate love can bring out in one, maybe encourage the potential that we have for a broader expression of the love that we all have within us." Stepfeed.com, october 2017

What is good? "Love is good, obviously. It requires maturation. If you have real love, it will surely last a long time. Because love is about giving, not receiving." Do you have a 'real love' today? "Yes, I have Kamilah. We are not married, but we have been together for a couple of years. And I'm happy." Infobae.com, november 2018

I'm assuming that this last interview is the one you referenced when you talked about how he & Kamilah met, but if it was a different one, please share the link ! I'm always hungry for some fresh interviews ! Oh and btw, I'm remembering now that I was supposed to post a translated version of it some time last year. Is anyone still interested in this ? If so PLEASE tell me. (Otherwise I won't bother)

#ask #roger waters #old roge #kamilah chavis #grw #interview #roger waters interview #love

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guigz1-coldwar · 3 years

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'Old talks' : New chapter for "Redemption in a Spirit in a Cold War" is out !

"Old talks"

Chapter Summary : After receiving an weird transmission from the MI5, Yirina is, with Park, wondering about who sent it.....until she realizes.......

To read it on AO3, click here !

Words : +3900

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I couldn't believe it that I was never able to remember properly that today, the May of 8th was the day of my birthday and Park.....well....she remembered it very good. Our trip to get to London, it was just an perfect occasion for her to celebrate my birthday with only the two of us, away from work for just one simple day. We were going to put aside our mission against Perseus & Stone and just be ourselves....maybe finally fullfill that little dream I had to have love in her office, on her desk as it was an perfect occasion. It was like one of the many birthday presents she could have given me to be honest.

But everything can't happen without a little something that will occur like that and that little thing was the knocks on her door, stopping us in our moment alone, getting ourselves back to work and like nothing happened here. However, as I thought to be just an simple transmission that the MI5 was given by their mysterious source that could have given us a lead on Stone....became suddenly too personal for me as their source wished me an 'Happy Birthday'....to me....only me...something wasn't right.

As I was in my seat, having finished to decrypt that transmission and still astonished by that, I looked at the MI5 agent who couldn't know where to go right now.

"Uhmm..." I started, looking pale on my face. "Can I....can you leave the office for an minute ?" I asked him as I wanted just to be alone with Park for the moment. "It's serious." I added in a low voice

"Yes....yes, miss." He agreed, looking a little bit stressed with me acting like that before he stepped out of the office, leaving me & Park alone.

"What the hell ?" I whispered to myself as I redressed myself on my seat, my eyes focused on the two papers that was in front of me. "How it is possible ?" I asked, still to myself.

"What's wrong ?" Park was confused at seeing me like that, she wasn't understanding me at all.

"Someone I don't know wished me happy birthday." I replied, joining my hands together, trembling. "That's the problem, right now."

"And ?" She raised an eyebrow, still not understanding. "It should be good." She added, trying to reassure me.

"You don't understand, Park." I breathed, not angered at all. "Someone INSIDE the Perseus Collective has done it." I insisted on the 'inside' word.

"Shit." She looked away, now realizing my words and my state, feeling so weird right now after I told her that.

"That's means that Perseus and the others know that I'm alive." I said, looking sure of my words. "If Freya & Stone maybe never told an thing.....Stitch did." I added, referring to what I heard from the two when I was dragged into that plane in the Tempelhof Airport.

"I could understand Freya's motives but Stone....." Park whispered, biting the right part of her lips, at hearing saying that Stone hide the fact that I was alive....and I think she was right about it. "They gave you an target in the back....and I will make sure no one hit that target." She affirmed.

"Maybe but in every encounter I did with them, was it 'Bell' or 'Yirina Grigoriev' who acted ?" I told her, remembering well that it was 'Bell' who was in line when I was facing Freya or Stitch. "They maybe think that I'm sort of.....not myself." I suggested.

"Oh, I see what you mean." She snapped her fingers towards me, her arms posed on her desk. "For you, they're thinking that we did something on you." She was right in her words and I could see the guilty part on her face. "By giving them the illusion that you're Bell, it's actually given you an chance to maybe make Freya defect." I nodded to her idea, been right about it.

"If I can make her slowly realize that I know well of my state, I could try to make her join our side." I continued in her idea, explaining it further. "It will be hard but it can be done." I added, not even sure of it in fact.

"Do you.....do you think that she will accept the fact that you are playing an act with 'Bell' when you will told her about the truth ?" She asked me, looking worried about it.

"She will have to." I replied, putting my arm on the chair's armrest. "Even after she has done to me, I need to try to save her from Perseus madness." I looked down for an second, away from Park "We still have this link as 'sisters', you understand ?" She nodded to me.

"You want to do this because you know that she is forced by Perseus to stay." She supposed and I nodded back.

"It's what I want to believe for." I said, taking an breath before rolling my eyes to the ceilling. "The call I gave her after our raid on that safehouse, it's something I can use to bring her to the right side." I added. It was maybe an dangerous move each time I was going to do that and even if I only did this once, I know that this mean is understandable....Park believe in it too.

"Of course." She breathed in approval.

"But now, I wonder who in the Perseus Collective can send me......" I started before I stop myself, having suddenly an revelation about the transmission "What if this person was no longer from Perseus ?" I got up slowly from my seat, pointing at the papers. "What if.....it was Zasha themselves ?"

"What make you think of that ?" She asked me curious.

"First, it's my code that is used and only me, Zasha & Portnova is able to use it." I responded, raising my right index finger first. "And second, it's always the MI5 who is receiving the transmissions, meaning that it's someone inside the country who is doing it."

"Shit, you're right !" She got up from her seat, looking amazed by me before I decided to walk away from my chair to go outside, prepared to talk to the MI5 agent with the transmission paper in my hand.

"Excuse me, sir ?" I called him out as he was standing next to the door, probably awaiting for the order that he could come back inside.

"Yes ?" He turned around to look at me, getting away from the wall he was leaned on.

"Those tranmissions...." I started, showing him the paper I took. "Did you try to know about the person behind them ?" I asked him fully.

"Well, in fact, I also came here for that." He replied, delighting me before I let him go back inside Park's office to continue this conversation. "We know exactly who is doing all of this for us !"

"You have a name ?" Park questioned him, leaned against her desk, crossing her arms as the man took a file out of his jacket, handing it towards me.

"Yes, name's Remi Baker." He responded as I looked at the file he got out : a false act of birth and an picture from an security camera of Zasha on it, behind an reception desk, giving something to the person in charge of the reception.....they faked their identity to avoid Perseus suspicion. "In fact, this transmission didn't came by usual : they literally gave it to our receptionist at the Thames House." He added, giving me an info about how the picture was taken.

"But why they took that risk to do this instead of the usual way ?" I told him, curious about why Zasha will have done this like that.

"We don't know either but with that, we were able to know who was our mysterious R." He exclaimed, biting his upper part of his lips. "We just discovered that they are living not so far from the MI6's HQ : in the Kennington neighborhood in an apartment complex."

"Shit, that's means they established themselves well in London." Park admitted, looking outside and seeing the city. "What's the situation now ?"

"They have been put under heavy surveillance for the moment." He replied, sounding sure as me, I was panicking in the inside at fearing the worst for Zasha. "We're planning to move on them in the afternoon."

"Wait, we need to be there." I expressed almost loudy about it...I couldn't let Zasha go away like that from the MI5 and it was my only chance to see them. "I know that it must be weird for you but....they're my friend."

"Really ?" I nodded to him.

"Listen, it's been 3 years that Yirina wasn't able to see them and we can try to have them come without any harm." Park defended my opinion to him, making me proud of her again like always. "You have to let us be there." She added, putting her hands on the desk behind her. I could see the agent scratching the back of his head, not sure before he resigned himself.

"Okay, I will talk to my superiors about that." He then start to walk away slowly, waving at us before he left the office behind him, closing the door.

"Damnit." I whispered to myself before I decide to gave Park the file as she didn't really see it. "All this time, Zasha was just nearby." I added as Park looked at the file.

"Seems that they managed to create themselves a new identity." She exclaimed, surprised to see what was in the file. "They're pretty talented."

"Always has been like that." I smiled about it before I pointed to the file. "I know it's maybe dangerous but...maybe that Zasha have to come with us at West-Berlin." I suggested, causing Park to look at me with an raised eyebrow "Maybe it's too hard to ask but while they're with us, the MI6 can put an heavy protection on their brother for the moment."

"Interesting idea." Park put her hand on her chin, trying to think about if it was an good idea or not from me. "It could work." She removed herself from the desk, putting the file on it. "For now, we have to wait that the MI5 allow us to go talk to Zasha in person."

"And what do we do now ?" I raised my shoulders, looking around the office.

"Well, we can eat and....wait." She replied before she moved to take the cake on the plate in her hands. "Hungry ?" I nodded to her as she sit down again on her chair and me, doing the same before we start to eat the cake.

Now, we needed to wait for the MI5's approval to let two MI6 agents to have an talk with 'Remi Baker' aka Zasha Smirnov.....my best friend from my old life. We ate the cake very fast in almost 20 minutes as it was big enough only for 2 persons, meaning me & Park herself. Aftet we finished eating, we were still waiting in her office, trying to find something to do so to pass the time, we decided to try to find some informations in her old boxes and files to see if we didn't miss anything about Perseus, Stone or anyone else in case.

We didn't find anything on them, it was always something that we already know about them or something that wasn't very useful for us. 3 hours after the MI5 agent left us in Park's office, he finally came back to us with great news at the end of the afternoon : we were authorized to participate in the surveillance of Zasha at their apartment in the Kennington neighborhood and maybe to talk to them before he left us again. Once we were prepared, it was time for us to go.

We took Park's car and we decided to directly go to the address where Zasha was living and to be honest, it wasn't very far from Century House meaning that we could have just walk to get there instead of taking the car but it was too late to think about it as we were arrived at destination when I start to think of it.

"So, what's the plan ?" Park asked me as we were in our car, parked in an parking just in front of the apartment complex at the other side of the street, with me stressing in the inside while I was looking at the entrance.

"I think that I need to go alone for the moment." I responded, looking back at her, sure in my voice. "Zasha will maybe panick if they saw me & someone that they don't know." I added as I removed my M1911 from below my jacket.

"You're sure of it ?" I nodded to her, putting the M1911 in the glove box.

"I can tell you when it's good for you to come." I affirmed, pointing at the small device in our ears. It was Park's idea to take them for us in case, staying in contact.

"Okay." I breathed before I started to open the door until I felt Park's hand on my shoulder.

"Be aware, Yiri !" She advised me, looking at me with an grin.

"I will." I said, reciprocating the grin before I managed to get out of the car, ready to go face Zasha after all these years.

I took a deep breath as I started to walk to get to the apartment complex, not stressing at all...stressing a lot in reality....walking through the street before arriving in front of the entrance....trembling. I stayed like it for 2 minutes straight in front of it not moving at all before I finally decided to enter the complex, getting myself into the empty hallway. First thing to do was to go check the mailboxes next to the door. I was looking until I found where Zasha was living under their fake name : at the second floor.

Another deep breath later and I start to get up the stairs, fearing at each time I will make an step the moment where I will see Zasha in front of me and then, I finally arrived in front of their door before I knocked two times, feeling all the stress and discomfort in me. I started to think that maybe Zasha has changed in three years...maybe that they pissed at me because of Portnova's state, I think that it wasn't going to be an easy talk to handle.

I heard some footsteps inside and the door getting unlocked but the door didn't get open after the unlock, leaving me with the urge to open the door by myself slowly. I entered the apartment, seeing it as an modest one but simple to leave in.....until once I had my feets in it, I could feel the cannon of a gun touching the left side behind my neck.

"Who are you ?" It was Zasha themselves, not having apparently seeing my face as I slowly raise my hands.

"Z-....."

"Don't look at me !" They ordered, cutting me as I was going to look at them, turning my head slowly before getting back in front of me. "Tell me who you are ?" They asked again before I took another deep breath, closing my eyes, hearing the door getting closed

"Yirina Grigoriev....been looking for....Zasha Smirnov." I replied in a low voice as I started to feel the gun getting away from my neck, making me look at Zasha again....they didn't change by an lot in three years : still looking the same nice-looking person.

"Yi-......Yirina ?" They were looking stunned to see me and me too. "I....I....." They started to said before they decided to hug me with all their might and then, I do the same.

"It's good to see you too, Zasha." I affirmed before we broke the hug and we could see that we wanted it to last more longer.

"I...I thought you were dead." They looked at me with wide eyes, precisely at the scar where they touched it with their hands. "What happened ?"

"It's....it's a long story." I snorted, breathing hardly from talking about it now to Zasha as they were touching the scar I had, putting my hands on their arm. "You....you might want to sit down, maybe ?" I proposed and they nodded.

"Yeah, sure." They started to move to a seat as I do the same, getting seated in a couch as they sat on an different chair from me. "I can't believe it." They breathed at me, fully seated.

"I can say the same, Zed." I smiled, talking to them with their nickname. "The bullet....deflected....skull's harder than we thought." I taunted, pointing at my scar before I returned back to a normal face, trying to not be sad. "Bad things happened to me." I admitted, biting my lips to it.

"Explain, please." They were sounding willing to hear my story.

"Well, to start....Arash Kadivar....left me for dead in Turkey before I was captured by the CIA..." I started, sniffing to each cut, my voice trying to not crack. "I worked with the CIA to stop Greenlight but....again, I was left for dead by the man who did something bad on me..." I added, putting my hands on my face. "Zed....the CIA has brainwashed me."

"No...." They were more shocked to hear this from me, they were feeling stressed and uncomfortable.

"Because of them, I'm trying to recover all of my memories I have lost." I continued, still my face in my hands before I looked at Zasha, removing my hands. "I spent 3 years in an coma in Moscow."

"3 years ?" They whispered and I nodded.

"Because of the bullet that was supposed to kill me." I pointed at my scar again. "My memories are going well and to say, I feel more better to remember them." I exclaimed, almost trying to smile about it. "What...what about you ?" I asked them as I looked around them "Where's Dedov ?" I added before I could see their face decomposing themselves.

"Dedov....Dedov never actually left the USSR." They replied, sending an feeling of terror and shock in me, Dedov wasn't here with Zasha. "Perseus has, in fact, captured him and the letter of Dedov I had, it wasn't him at all." He continued, making me more sad on my face, holding back my own tears and Zasha too was doing the same. "It was just an trap organized by Perseus...it's been 3 years that I'm alone in here, trying to survive at my best."

"I'm...I'm...I'm sorry, Zasha." I breathed, feeling an tear on my face.

"I don't know how I didn't end my life when I learned that you were dead, that Dedov was captured by Perseus....and that Portnova was never able to come here." They said to me, in the most sadest voice I heard from them. "I've been....surviving alone....for 3 years, Yirina." They added before starting to cry slowly, not moving as I started to move next to their seat.

"We can change that." I told them, putting my hand on theirs. "I need to know : how & why did you start to help the MI5 & the MI6 ?" I asked them.

"Last year, I learned that Perseus was still around...and then, I decided to act on my own, making some travels in England and sending them encrypted transmissions for them to decrypt." They responded, giving me an answer on how they were able to have intels on Perseus. "The first two years....I wasn't able to do an thing."

"Listen, now, I'm working with the MI6 since some weeks." I started, wanting to reassure them. "I've been given an opportunity to redeem myself for what I did." I continued, reflecting to my personal goal I had since I learned the truth on that stretcher. "And for that....I need you to come with me to work with the MI6."

"I...I don't know, Yirina." They said, getting up from their seat to move next to an dresser where an single picture were on : a group picture with....me, them, Dedov, Portnova and even Beans. "I'm maybe fighting Perseus by helping the british but in the inside...."

"I know..." I started again, putting my hand on their shoulder. "I know where's Portnova : still in Moscow." They looked back at me with wide eyes, surprised. "I know that you maybe don't want to go back to Russia but really, I need you."

"You...you need me ?" I nodded to them.

"Zed, you're my friend, I promised to protect you and to fullfill that promise, I need you to stay with me." I fully answered, adding to my nod to them as I looked at the picture. "I promised to protect you all and it's time for me to do it."

"Do you think we can do it ?" They asked and I nodded.

"We are going to do it." I affirmed to them as I could see an smile on their face as an sign of approval. "I wanted to know : did you...did you proposed to Portnova ?" At this moment, they opened an drawer from the dresser, taking an ring with them, meaning an no for me.

"I couldn't do it because I was still shocked by the files we have decrypted." They showed me the ring from up close.

"I think that you need to take it, you might need it." I tapped on their shoulder as an best friend, with an smile on my face. "You want to come ?" They nodded to me.

"If I can see Portnova again....and maybe Dedov." They snorted, looking at the group picture before taking it from it's framing, wanting to take it with them. "We need that for us."

"Yeah." I breathed, approving their idea. "I need you to take everything you want to take and also if you had that....intels about Perseus operations."

"Of course, I will, Yirina." They took a deep breath before they started to walk away to get to another room, getting their things ready. In me, I was feeling so good about having seen Zasha back but also sad about learning of Dedov disappearance. 5 minutes after they left, they came back with an big bags in hands. "Where are we going ?"

"We....well, the team I'm working with has an safehouse....in West-Berlin." I answered, making them look at me with wide eyes. "Yeah, I know, I hate the place too." I added, seeing them rolling their eyes about it.

"Anyway, I know I will be safe." They affirmed before they took their apartment keys in hand from the table just next to them. "Let's go then." They started to walk to the door, leaving the apartment with me behind them.

"Don't worry, I'm staying with you all the time." I reassured them as they were locking the place down.

"Tell me, Yirina." They started as they were finishing to lock the door from outside before they looked with an curious look on their face, knowing that it could be either an serious question or an funny one. "Is the MI6 making a lot of coffee ?" They asked, making me laugh, knowing their love for the coffee.

"Of course, Zed !" I continued to laugh about it as I make some best friends taps on their shoulders as they were also laughing too. I was so happy for them to have an simple laugh just after what I learned and they needed it and me too.....

"I have someone that does them very well !"

#cod bocw #cod cold war #cod black ops cold war #cod cw #call of duty cold war #black ops cold war #call of duty #helen park #fem!bell #yirina grigoriev

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tumblunni · 7 years

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I have a question that I hope is ok. I have had a suspicion that I might have some form of autism for quite a while now and when you reblog posts that say something along the line of just autism things like the one you just did I have to do a double take because I do all of those things + have them happen to me and am shocked when I see I'm not the only one who does these things especially the really abstract. I don't ever bring it up though in fear that people get upset that I'm "faking"

Oh man, mystery person, that’s pretty heavy!! I know the feeling, it took me a LONG time of self-examination to work out whether I might have autism, and I actually did have to deal with a less-than-optimal response when I tried to talk to someone about it. My doctor outright said ‘but you seem too smart for that’, like.. what the fuck?? So seriously, you need to be prepared to be PERSISTANT. Don’t lose confidence in your decision! Make sure you get to see an actual diagnosis, don’t let them lock you out of it based on dumb stereotypes. Cos seriously, general practitioners going ‘hey this person probably doesnt have this thing that’s completely out of my division, and I wont even let them talk to that division’.. thats just.. GOD I really get frustrated and scared thinking how much more messed up my life would be right now if I’d listened to him and not ever got help for my condition!

So my advice is basically.. even if you don’t want to ‘self-diagnose’, please do ‘self-diagnose’.You need to be abnormally prepared for this, you need to have a list of all your symptoms, you need to learn the terms and have reference to point to in the event of them denying you the ability to talk to an actual psychologist. And you need to be prepared for them even treating you like you cant be autistic if you were capable of doing this!You need to hand-hold your general practitioner through explaining what autism even is, and do whatever the fuck you can so you can get transferred over to someone who actually knows who they’re talking about.Oh and common ‘self-diagnosis’ type stuff can also help a lot in the meantime, because doing research on the subject can lead you to finding new coping methods, finding other people to ask about the subject, and just generally tiding you over until you’re able to get a professional diagnosis and (hopefully) access to things like therapy and local autism community groups.Also, just, in some countries medical care is way less accessable, so I know not eveyrone is even able to get a professional diagnosis at all.

Oh, and an important thing is that autism is a spectrum and there are many different symptoms you can have. it can even be hard to discover your own symptoms, you might find that they manifest in a weird way because you’ve been subconciously trying to hide them or using some form of unhealthy coping method for years. Going undiagnosed into your adult years is really like.. one of the primary causes for autism being REALLY disabling! Dear god my stage of treatment right now is just learning to untangle a bunch of bullshit I’ve done to myself over the years, and re-learn basic life skills and self confidence. I think if i’d been born into an environment with people who actually would have recognised it and cared about getting me help as a kid, i could have grown up without most of my anxiety issues!Another important fact is that adult autism is often co-morbid with anxiety issues, due to the circumstances of being left completely alone to deal with this thing for your entire life with no support. There’s also just a lot of ways certain anxiety disorders (as well as ADHD) can have overlapping symptoms with autism spectrum disorders. A lot of the ‘that feel when’ meme stuff can be relateable to all three of these otherwise quite different disorders. So I’d reccommend looking up info on ADHD, PTSD, generalized anxiety disorder, and related conditions too, and maybe seeing which disorder seems most similar to what you’re experiencing. And don’t be scared if it seems like you might have multiple of them! In real life being ‘all the tokens at once’ is VERY MUCH not ‘unrealistic’, man I really hate those people who’re like ‘hwaaa someone who’s black AND gay AND in a wheelchair? political correctness gone maaaad!’ Seriously, its very VERY possible to have more than one mental illness, especially ones that might have a knock-on effect causing another one. Going undiagnosed and untreated for ANYTHING can lead to developing anxiety and depression, but going undiagnosed for a social disability makes it especially likely to get specifically social anxiety.oh, and randomly for an example I happen to also have prosopagnosia, which means I can’t tell the difference between people’s faces. I literally cannot recognise my best friend if she changes her hairstyle or glasses. This is kinda Double Hell combined with autism, cos its already a challenge for me to judge people’s emotions, lol!

Oh man I’m kinda going offtopic and just rambling every damn fact I know, but I’m just hoping maybe something will be helpful??I really am not an expert on autism, I dont even know any good informative blogs to link you to. I’m just a regular person who happens to have the condition, and I don’t know how to give good advice when i’m still quite often suffering from denial and self hate myself...But I dunno, I just hope it could help to hear my personal experience, and know that you’re not alone.Though now I’m worrying maybe this post is a little intimidating so it might make you feel worse?? Seriously, this is just a worst case scenario thing, hopefully your doctor won’t be as casually gatekeepy as mine was. And I mean, he seemed like a good man who wasnt exactly rude about it and wasnt doing it on purpose. If anything that worries me more, tho, cos he was just politely saying ‘haha no you’re wrong’ to a patient, about a subject he wasnt remotely qualified in, and wouldnt have ever considered reccommending me to a professional if i hadnt kept nagging him about it and come back with a bunch of research and stuff. It felt SO damn cathartic to get that ‘YES, AUTISM’ in the end! Shame I couldnt show it to him and I probably would have had my entire healthcare cut forever if I boasted XDAlso, I was lucky that I had my charity support worker to help me through the stress of the assessment interviews. I hope you have at least one person who’d be able to be there for you and believe you, in times like these. Or, even if you’re like me and you dont’ have any family and stuff, I hope you end up meeting a surprisingly awesome governent worker lady who wears a cool hat and helps you out. Seriously, Amber, you’re a godsend!

So umm.. yeah.. i am REALLY sleep deprived and I am not good at words but i hope some of this helped?? I hope you’re okay, anon!And honestly, reading ‘lol relateable jokes’ type posts on people’s blogs was how I first started suspecting I was autistic, too. I’d grown up buried in so many stereotypes of mentally ill people, I never thought I was one of them until I actually got to read blogs from their perspective. Joke posts obviously aren’t a substitute for a diagnosis, but I think they kinda serve a valuable role in the self acceptance process, yknow? Thank you, joke posts!

#aaaaaa tired bunni is bad at helpiiiiing #if any of my followers are smarter and more informed and generally awesome then please help #anon i really hope your day goes well and you're alright #and when i get back from having a sleep i will be able to talk to you again if you need it!#A Nonny Mouse #ask

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