#lol I've not been on here for months whoops

[otomehonyaku]

DIABOLIK LOVERS アニメ公式ノベライズ Official Novelization ☽ Chapter 1 Translation

[…] ☽ [Next chapter]

Hello everyone! It's been a while. I went back to Japan for the first time in ages last month and immediately fell back down the Diabolik Lovers rabbit hole when I went to the Rejet shop...

I recently found this so-called 'anime novelization' on eBay, and thought it might be fun to use it to get back into translating. This book was released as a novel counterpart to the first season of the Diabolik Lovers anime, thus following the storyline of the anime rather than the visual novels (almost to a T).

Please let me know if you like reading these and want me to translate more of it! I'm not exactly sure how active the fandom is anymore, so I think I'll just test the waters with a couple of chapters and see if it'll be fun to translate the entire book. Who knows!

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Originally written by Yukuzuki Hiroha 結来月ひろは Translated from the Japanese by @otomehonyaku

STORY Following her father’s job transfer, Komori Yui is sent to live with the Sakamaki brothers. However, these six brothers turn out to be sadistic, ill-tempered vampires. The men are after Yui’s sweet and incredibly rare blood, and go to great lengths toying with her body and soul to get it. Before long, Yui finds herself trapped in an alluringly dangerous love game(1)...

1. 吸血愛戯 (ラブゲーム): Stylised as ‘love game’ but written with the characters for bloodsucking (吸血), love (愛), and play (戯). The latter character also has a connotation of playfulness/mischief.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

DISCLAIMER This is an unofficial translation intended for those interested in reading the story of the Diabolik Lovers game/season in a slightly more literary format in English. I have no affiliation with Rejet or Frontier Works whatsoever. All rights belong to them, but PLEASE DO NOT POST THIS TRANSLATION ELSEWHERE OR TRANSLATE TO OTHER LANGUAGES WITHOUT MY PERMISSION.

Now that that’s out of the way—have fun reading! ❤️

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Episode 1

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

That day, like any other day, the sky was aglow with twilight. In the quiet forest, which was dimly lit by the evening sun, the sound of a car engine pierced the air. It was a taxi, driving alone on the narrow forest path.

What a pretty sky… Komori Yui thought as she gazed at the sky from the backseat of the taxi.

Yui was an ordinary second-year high school student. She lived with her father, who was a priest, before he had to relocate for work. Yui was sent to live with the Sakamaki family, who were acquaintances of her father's, and so she was currently on her way to her new home.

A lake came into view from the taxi window. The setting sun glittered off the surface of the lake. The wind, carrying the scent of the forest, rustled Yui’s hair when she opened the car window. She spotted a large mansion nestled between the trees through the window on the opposite side.

So that’s where I’ll be living from now on… 

The closer the taxi got to the mansion, the wider the girl’s eyes became. Aside from what looked to be the main building, which was built around a courtyard, there were even several auxiliary buildings and a gazebo on the property.

I’ve never even seen a mansion this big before.

Before long, the taxi stopped before a gate that was large enough for two cars to easily pass through at the same time.

“Thank you,” Yui said to the driver and stepped out of the car. The taxi returned into the direction from which they had come.

Yui took her suitcase and looked up at the large, Western-style building beyond the gate. It was a three-storey brick building that might as well have belonged to a family of European aristocrats. Briefly taken aback by the view in front of her, Yui opened the gate and went into the courtyard.

“Wow… I never thought it would be such an elegant house.”

Pulling her suitcase behind her and eying her surroundings with astonishment, Yui made her way to the front door. The entrance was still quite a ways away from where she was, and Yui couldn't quite make it there as she kept falling from one surprise into another.

There’s even a fountain!

The stone statue of a gargoyle was perched on top of the fountain and looked down at her. Yui wondered briefly whether this was the personal taste of the mansion’s owner. As she passed by the fountain, the shadows of raindrops started to appear on the stone tiles underneath her feet.

“Rain?!” Caught off-guard, Yui looked up. 

The sky that had been so clear earlier was now black with rain clouds. Just as Yui thought she'd seen a flash of lightning pierce the dark sky, a loud clap of thunder rumbled through the air. Startled by the thunder, she let out a small cry.

“Oh no, even thunder…” Yui clumsily hurried in the direction of the front door. The rain began pouring down the moment she reached it.

Thank God I didn't end up soaked. It wouldn't be appropriate to show up at your new host family’s doorstep drenched to the skin with rain, after all.

Yui faced the door. It was huge and covered in decorative engraving, and she used the ancient-looking door knocker to announce her arrival. The sound of the cold, iron knocker reverberated through the mansion once, twice, but nobody came to answer.

“Excuse me!” Yui called, and extended a hand towards the door.

Before she could reach it, the door inched open by itself with a loud creaking sound.

“Ah!” 

Yui flinched backward in surprise. Out of curiosity, she gingerly peeked through the gap in the door. Nobody was there. Did that mean she was welcome to go inside?

As if she'd been invited in, Yui stepped inside, and the door immediately slammed shut behind her.

Once inside, the first thing that greeted her was a lavish entrance hall lit by a chandelier hanging from the ceiling. Still, the entrance hall somehow looked quite gloomy, stretching out far into the shadows on either side of her.

“Um… Is anybody there?” Yui ventured once more, her voice echoing off the high ceiling. 

“How strange. I wonder if they didn't know I would be coming today,” Yui muttered to herself as she paced through the hall. When she stepped onto the red carpet spread out on the floor, a large staircase came into view. She paused before the stairs, only barely visible under the dim light of the chandelier as she called out again, “Excuse me!”

Once more, her voice rang through the air to no avail. Nobody came.

What should I do?

She might have been looking for the master of the house, but that didn't mean she should feel free to snoop around in someone else's home. Yui was at a loss. She stood stock-still, trailing her eyes over her surroundings, and then she noticed something.

For a brief moment, a bolt of lightning outside cast a sliver of light on a sofa by the window. 

Wait, what was…

She only saw it for an instant, but Yui made her way over to the sofa. She saw a figure not unlike the shape of a boy laying on top of it. He seemed about the same age as her, and wore what looked to be a school uniform, but it was completely dishevelled. Under his head was a cushion, which he used as a pillow as he slept.

  What an odd place to sleep in… But I’m glad I managed to find someone.

The boy looked to be sleeping soundly when the lightning illuminated his face again. Even though Yui knew it would be rude to wake him up, she called out to him.

”Um… Excuse me.”

She reached out and touched the boy’s hand, but withdrew immediately.

“So cold!” 

The boy’s skin had been much colder than she’d expected. Regardless of how long he’d been sleeping on that couch, his body temperature shouldn’t have dropped that much.

He doesn’t even have a temperature to begin with…

“Are you okay?” 

Yui started panicking and held an ear to the boy’s chest, but the heartbeat she should have heard never came.

“His heart isn’t beating… Oh no, I have to call an ambulance!”

Yui pulled her phone out of the bag slung over her shoulder, and hurried to call the emergency number, but a hand shot out from beside her and swiftly took the phone right out of her hands.

“Ah!”

“…Shut the fuck up. Who do you think you are, walking into someone’s house yapping like that?”

The boy Yui had assumed had been dead suddenly stood up from the sofa, her phone in his hand, and shot her an irritated glare with his emerald eyes.

“Y-you’re alive?!” 

“What?”

The words had escaped Yui’s lips in an involuntary whisper, but the boy didn’t bother hiding his annoyance when he responded.

“Obviously. Who’d you think Yours Truly is?”

The boy responded like this was the most normal situation in the world, but it didn’t make sense to Yui at all.

What’s going on…?

Without realising it, Yui slowly started backing away from him. “But… Your heart wasn’t beating…” She was absolutely positive that she hadn’t heard a heartbeat.

And yet… Why did the boy in front of her look so calm and composed? 

A flash of blind panic urged Yui to make a run for it, but the boy caught her in his arms and pushed her onto her back on the sofa.

“Ah! What are you doing?!”

“What, isn’t it obvious? I’m gonna eat you up.” The boy’s face dipped in close, but bent down further to lick the nape of Yui’s neck.

What on Earth…

Yui’s mind reeled at the boy’s unexpected behaviour, and she yelped, but that only made her assailant’s face twist into an amused grin. He bent down again in an attempt to bite into her neck. 

“Ayato! What is this? Tone it down.”

The boy—Ayato, apparently—clicked his tongue and glared at the person standing next to the sofa. “Reiji.” 

The person Ayato referred to as Reiji was a highly strung-looking boy with glasses perched on his narrow nose. With his calm and polite demeanour and white gloves, he almost looked like a butler, but when Yui looked closely, he was wearing the same uniform as Ayato.

Reiji looked at Ayato over the rim of his glasses with an exasperated expression. “This is the entrance hall. A place where we welcome guests. Please take these sorts of activities to your own room.”

“Ugh, boring.” Ayato reluctantly sat up.

Did this boy just come to save me?

Yui flung herself off of the sofa and scurried to Reiji’s side. “P-please help me!”

He gave her a puzzled look when she called for help. “And you are?”

“Komori Yui. My father arranged for me to stay here.”

“I don’t recall hearing about that.”

After listening to Yui’s explanation, Reiji returned his attention to Ayato. “Ayato, will you explain what’s going on here?”

“What? Like hell I know,” Ayato answered gruffly, and swung a leg up onto the sofa. He looked directly at Yui. “Y’know, Pancake, you could’ve told me all of that earlier.”

“That’s because you attacked me all of a sudden.”

“Huh…”

Somewhat unsurprised that she wouldn’t be able to have a normal conversation with the person who had just plainly assaulted her. Ayato turned away from her as if he hadn’t done anything wrong.

What’s wrong with him? He’s been nothing but rude… Yui thought, and suddenly something occurred to her.

“Wait, you said Pancake… Did you mean me?”

“Of course, you idiot. You really that dense, Pancake?” Ayato cast her an amused sideways glance, clearly making fun of her. 

Next to Yui, who was still fuming at the rude nickname, Reiji crossed his arms in thought.

“Strange indeed. Nobody has reported this to me, either.” 

Then Yui must have come to the wrong mansion. But still, there aren’t any other houses around here.

“Ah, um, so you are…”

“Let’s not discuss this here. Please follow me. Your luggage will be taken care of.” Before Reiji had even finished talking, Yui noticed that a butler had appeared beside her suitcase. 

“Oh!” When did he get here?

The butler acknowledged Yui with a little nod and disappeared with her suitcase. What on Earth is going on in this mansion? A front door that opens by itself, and a butler that appears out of thin air, without a sound. And then there’s…

When Yui cast a glance toward Ayato, who was still sitting on the sofa, his eyes met hers with a disgruntled expression. Remembering what he had done to her earlier, Yui quickly looked away and followed Reiji instead.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Reiji led Yui into a spacious living room. The chandelier hanging from the ceiling gave off a dazzling light, and firewood was burning in the hearth.

“Please, have a seat.”

“Thank you.”

Yui did as he said and took a seat on the sofa.

“You too, Ayato. We cannot have a proper conversation if you do not.”

“Ugh. Fine.” 

She watched as Ayato took a seat next to her, and Reiji started to speak.

“Firstly, please do us the courtesy of explaining why you barged into our home without permission.”

“Ah, yes.” 

I didn’t really barge in here, though… However, to Reiji and the others, that’s what it must seem like. I should apologise and clear up the misunderstanding.

“Um…” Yui straightened her spine but was interrupted before she could speak.

“Oh, oh, oh! What’s this?” a voice laughed from above. When Yui looked up, she saw a boy peering down at her from the mezzanine. “To think such a cute girl would show up here!” He looked about the same age as Ayato, but wore a black hat on his head. His bright green eyes bore into Yui’s, making her a little nervous.

Has he been there the entire time? I couldn’t even tell. Just as she took in the strange circumstances, a tongue trailed over Yui’s left cheek.

“Ah!” 

Did someone just lick me? 

Touching her cheek in surprise, Yui looked to the side and was met with the boy who had just been on the mezzanine. What? How did he get over here so fast? Feeling as though she’d been pinched, she cast him an accusatory look.

“Hm… She smells so sweet.” 

When Yui pressed her back against the sofa to get away from the boy, another voice suddenly sounded from right behind her.

“Please let me have a taste, too.”

Someone licked her ear this time. Yui spun around and saw a purple-haired boy of small stature there. She cringed at the moist sound of his tongue, pressing a hand to her ear. 

“She tastes sweet, too.”

What on Earth is going on? The two boys looked entertained by Yui’s confusion. 

Reiji seemed unable to look on, and broke the silence. “You two. That is no way to treat a lady whom you have only just met.”

The boy with the hat whined in protest at Reiji’s reprimanding tone.

“Do you have anything to say, Laito?”

“Well, if something so delicious-looking is put in front of me, I just have to taste it. Right, Kanato?”

“Yeah,” the purple-haired boy replied with a nod.

“Fuck off, all of you!” Ayato wedged his way into the two boys’ conversation.

 “Yours Truly found this one, so I’ll be the one to take all of her firsts.”

“...Asshole.”

Ayato frowned at the source of yet another voice filled the living room.

“With your ‘Yours Truly, Yours Truly,’ just shut the fuck up already.”

“The fuck did you just say?” Ayato flung himself off the couch with unnecessary force, and looked around the room. “That’s Subaru, isn’t it? Show yourself, coward!” 

“I’m right here.” The sullen voice came from a boy leaning against the wall, presumably Subaru. The white shock of his hair, which covered his right eye, was a stark contrast with his red eyes, which leered at Yui. “I was just thinking it reeked of humans in here. So it’s you. How are you going to compensate for my lack of precious sleep?”

“W-where did you come from?”

“I asked first!” Subaru yelled in annoyance, and slammed a fist against the wall behind him. Cracks began to form in the wall from his fist outwards, sending plaster crumbling to the floor. He fixed his gaze on Yui, who was at a loss for words.

Seeing the dilapidated state of the wall, Reiji sighed heavily as he repositioned his glasses. He turned toward his brothers gathered in the living room.

“Are any of you listening? The lady will be living here from now on.” 

There was no response.

“Um, I think there’s been some kind of mistake. I’m sorry for troubling you. I’ll be on my way now.” Yui resolutely rose from the couch.

“Please wait.” Reiji’s voice made her freeze in place when she attempted to flee the living room, her eyes trained on the floor. “I am still confirming the facts. Do you not think it would be rude to leave now?”

“B-but…”

Reiji certainly had a point, but considering the mansion’s other inhabitants certainly weren’t intent on following his orders, Yui could not bear to be there much longer. They’re scaring me…

A new, listless voice came from the direction of the window.

“Are you the woman he told me about?” 

When Yui turned to look, she spotted another new face. The boy was spread out lazily on the sofa by the window. He wore the same school uniform as the others, but instead of a jacket, he wore a beige-coloured cardigan over his shirt. He appeared to be listening to music, as a pair of earphones plugged his ears.

There’s one more brother?

“Shuu, what do you know about her?”

“...Nothing much.” Shuu replied dismissively, his eyes closed. Could he hear Ayato even though he was wearing earphones? 

“Nonsense. Please elaborate,” Kanato urged.

Shuu reluctantly began speaking. “He… contacted me the other day. He told me we’d be receiving a guest from the church, and to ‘treat her kindly,’ ‘make her feel most welcome,’ all that.”

“The hell? You mean Pancake’s the Chosen Bride?” 

An involuntary noise slipped from Yui’s lips at Ayato’s remark. What does that even mean, the Chosen Bride? At the very least, she knew that her father, who had to move away for his job as a priest, had arranged for her to live here, but this was the first time she heard of this whole ordeal. However, contrary to Yui’s astonishment, the brothers listened to Shuu’s explanation rather calmly.

“Ah, I see.”

“A bride? Well, more like a living sacrifice, right?”

…Living sacrifice?

Yui was taken aback by Kanato and Laito’s exchange. 

Then, Shuu opened his eyes and spoke as if to deal the final blow. “Right, he also ordered us not to kill her, so…”

Not kill me? What the…?

“Huh… Well, then we’ll be enjoying her company for a long time.”

Meanwhile, Yui had frozen in place. 

Reiji ignored her shock as he called her to attention. “Wonderful. It appears that the issue has been cleared up. Then, let us properly introduce ourselves.” He first turned to Shuu. “That is the eldest brother, Sakamaki Shuu. I am the second son, Reiji.” He paused briefly before turning to Ayato and the others. “Those are the triplets. Ayato–”

“I won’t let you get away next time.”

“Kanato–”

“Please let me taste you again. Exciting, isn’t it, Teddy?” Teddy must be the name of the one-eyed bear Kanato was cradling in his arms. The boy tilted his head and giggled.

“And Laito–”

“Let’s have fun together, Bitchlet.” For such a crude name to call a woman, Laito was laughing as he said it.

“Lastly, that’s Subaru, the youngest brother.”

“Ugh, this shit sucks.” Subaru looked displeased at Yui’s presence, and turned away immediately.

Reiji had properly introduced all of the brothers to her, but still, she did not know how to make sense of everything they had said to her. “There must still be some kind of mistake. I haven’t heard anything about a bride…”

Something suddenly occurred to Yui, a peculiar thought poking at the back of her mind. Many strange things had happened to her since she’d arrived here, but the most unsettling thing of all…

“S-something’s… off about all of you…” Yui asked, her gaze gingerly shifting from brother to brother. All of their eyes were trained on her.

What on Earth…

Their cold, piercing gazes radiated danger, and Yui’s fight-or-flight instinct kicked in. I have to get out of here.

“I-I have to contact my father…”

Yui reached for the cell phone in her pocket, but, somehow it had ended up in Ayato’s hands again.

“Ah!” How did that happen? Never mind, this is not the time to think about that. “My phone! Give it back!”

“I dunno about that.” Ayato toyed with her phone, a sadistic smile forming on his face.

I won’t have any means to contact my father if I don’t have my cell phone…

“Give it back, please!” Yui tried to take the phone from him, but every time it seemed just within reach, Ayato dodged her. He seemed to be enjoying the look of despair on her face. He then tossed the phone to Subaru.

Just as she thought he would return it to her, Subaru’s expression changed to a look of disgust, and Yui knew immediately that he wasn’t going to.

“W-what are you doing?”

“This.”

With one swift movement, Subaru snapped the phone in two. 

There went Yui’s lifeline to her father. Why are they doing this? 

“This is cruel…”

“Shut up.”

Watching the tears forming in Yui’s eyes at the sight of her broken cell phone, Subaru shot her an irritated glare.

“Oh, Bitchlet, don’t be sad!” Laito said cheerfully and patted her shoulder as if to console her. “We’re going to get along great, so you won’t need your cell phone anyway. Okay?”

Before she had time to think about it, she had been sandwiched between Laito and Kanato.

“I’ve been so hungry.” 

Kanato edged closer to a now distraught Yui as he spoke, and Laito simultaneously leaned in to whisper in her ear. 

“Ah… You smell so good, Bitchlet.”

Huh? I’m not even wearing perfume.

Just as she pondered his remark, the light reflected off something in the corner of her eye. She tilted her head to look, and it turned out to be the canine teeth poking out from Laito’s mouth when he bent down to her neck as if he was going to bite her.

The thunder rumbling in the distance coincided with a fearful scream from Yui, both reverberating through the room. 

I have to get out of here. Now.

She dashed for the door, but in her haste, her foot caught on something and she fell flat on her face. Yui scrambled back up, but a flash of pain ran through her leg. Looking down, she saw blood welling up from a cut in the skin of her knee.

Suddenly feeling the brothers’ attention on her again, Yui raised her face. She was met with their ominously glistening eyes. Their unusually sharp canine teeth were now plainly visible. It’s… like they’re…

“V-vampires…”

Yui reached for something in her pocket and held it up in front of her face.

“Eat this!”

It was the rosary that she’d gotten from her father. 

Vampires should be weak to crucifixes! However, much to her disappointment, the brothers didn’t cower in fear. From the sofa by the window where Shuu lay, Yui even heard a low, mocking laugh.

“Huh?” 

Why didn’t it do anything?

“Good grief…” Reiji said, exasperated. “The theories that vampires are weak to garlic, crucifixes, the sun, and that sort of thing… are all myths invented by humans. Did you earnestly expect that to work on us? That only proves how foolish you humans really are. This is most displeasing.”

Oh…

Yui made a dash for the door.

“You really haven’t an ounce of discipline, have you?” she heard Reiji say irritatedly from behind her as she ran.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The sound of Yui’s desperate, careless footsteps echoed through the entrance hall as she ran. The thought that they were not just no ordinary humans, but actual vampires, was incomprehensible. 

I have to get out of here as fast as I can!

Having run blindly focused on getting away, Yui came to a halt. Wait, which way should I even go? She wasn’t sure if it was because the mansion was so big, but there were so many hallways that looked so similar to one another that she quickly lost track of where she was. However, she had no time to hesitate. I have to run, or they’ll catch up to me…

Yui sped off again at the memory of the threatening look in their eyes.

Shortly after that, she spotted a table loaded with different kinds of sweets at the end of the hall. What is this doing here? As she eyed the sweets in suspicion, Kanato suddenly appeared from the shadow under the table. 

“I’ll break you.”

“Oh!”

The way Kanato smiled at her made her quickly continue her path. What was he doing there?

A small desk with a landline phone on it caught Yui’s attention when she turned the corner into another hallway. 

Good, I can use it to contact my father… If I can, I could make it out of here somehow… Yui picked up the receiver, but the cord that she thought had been connected to the phone before had now been cut. 

Oh no… Briefly stunned, she lost hope. 

From somewhere in the distance, Laito’s voice called out to her. “Hehe… I told you you wouldn’t need a phone anymore living here.”

Yui frantically looked around to see where he was. Laito was nowhere in sight. 

“Come and find me, Bitchlet…”

He probably enjoyed the sight of her frightened. Laito’s voice made her shrink away in fear. While scrambling backwards, she bumped into someone, and Yui held her breath as she felt hands closing around her shoulders.

Please, no…

“Guess who?”

Yui yelped. 

Terrified by Laito whispering so close to her ear, she quickly shook off his hands and ran. 

When she somehow finally reached a door, it wouldn’t budge. No way! Why won’t it open?

“Please, please open!” She pounded her fists on the door, but it didn’t help at all. I’m going to have to look for a different way out…

Before she could move away, two hands reached out on either side of her and pushed Yui’s body against the door. It was Ayato.

“Where are you going? This is the part where you scream for my amusement. Let me hear you cry out, at the top of your lungs.”

Yui was trapped in his arms.

“You can’t run away, you know.”

The girl was somehow able to shake Ayato off as well, and ran in the opposite direction, deeper into the mansion. I’m better off finding a place to hide…

Upstairs, Yui found a room that looked suitable for hiding, but the door didn’t open when she turned the knob. As she ran down the dimly-lit hallway on the second floor, she heard the sound of something unlocking. 

Yui spotted a spiral staircase further down the hall. Did it come from up there? 

She followed the stairs and came to a stop in front of yet another door. Padlocks and chains were scattered on the floor before it. 

It’s unlocked. I should hide in there.

Yui went in and shut the door behind her.

The dim moonlight gave the room a gloomy atmosphere. Yui looked around. There were many pieces of furniture and paintings with sheets draped over them, as well as different kinds of tools. Everything was covered in a layer of dust, making it seem like nobody ever came in here. It might be a storage room, Yui thought as she padded through the room to a dresser. Her eyes fell onto the accessories spread out on top of it, which were adorned with gemstones and glittered in the moonlight. But if they’re laid out like this, this must be someone’s room after all? 

Yui’s gaze unintentionally shifted to the window.

A woman was standing on the balcony.

The woman’s back was turned to Yui, so she couldn’t see her face, but her long purple hair shone in the moonlight. She gave off an elegant aura in her long dress, which was almost as purple as her hair.

The purple-haired woman noticed Yui’s presence. Just as she turned to look at her, an intense pain spread through Yui’s torso.

Yui choked on air.

What’s happening? 

She had never experienced such pain in her chest before. 

I can’t breathe… Her heart started beating erratically, her vision slowly becoming blurry. The pain was so severe that she lost her footing and collided with the bookcase along the wall, sending books tumbling to the floor. Yui could only focus on bearing the agony. 

After a little while, the pain subsided. 

What on Earth was that?

Yui snuck another glance towards the window, but saw nothing but the new moon in the night sky outside. Did I just imagine all of that? The pain in her chest and the illusion of that woman might not even be so strange in the line of things that had already happened today.

The books that had fallen from the bookcase caught Yui’s attention. Alongside a number of books was a leatherbound notebook. Her eyes stopped on a picture that had slipped out from between the pages when she had bumped into the bookcase.

“This is… Dad?!”

The picture depicted a priest holding a small, sleeping baby. So that baby is…

“Me?”

But how did this picture get here?

When Yui looked at the notebook from which the picture had slipped out, the writer summarised their day’s events and achievements in a familiar handwriting.

“So this is my father’s diary. But why?” 

Why would it be here of all places? I might understand if I look inside.

She opened the diary and began reading.

Yui brings me so much joy. The fact that she is not my own child bears no meaning at all. She is truly a blessing, and I am nothing but grateful for every day I get to spend with her…

Yui could not believe her eyes.

“What does he mean, I’m not my father’s child? What is this diary even doing here?” 

Am I not his biological child? It couldn’t be so…

“To think you went into this room, of all places.”

The sudden sound of Reiji’s voice made Yui look up, and she saw that the Sakamaki brothers had somehow all gathered in the room in the blink of an eye.

“This is a forbidden room. Nobody is allowed inside.” Reiji glanced at the door and let out a heavy sigh. “I will have to put new locks on it.”

“Really, though. How did you even get in, Bitchlet?” Laito asked and crouched down before her, but even Yui did not know why the room had been unlocked. 

I didn’t even unlock it myself…

Yui tried to speak, but the words wouldn’t quite come out.

Kanato stood before her as well, leering down at her. “You’re nothing but food, so please stay still so I can eat.”

“I-I’m not food…”

“Quit complaining already.”

Yui shrieked when Subaru slammed a fist into the wall like he had before, sending more books falling from the bookcase to the floor.

“Oh, not again, Subaru.”

“Fuck off.”

While Laito and Subaru bickered with one another, Yui looked on, frightened beyond her wits. What should I do? I’m surrounded. There’s no way I can run now. 

What are they going to do with me?

“That face…”

Someone grabbed her chin and forced her to look up. There was Ayato, his face splitting into a satisfied grin.

“It’s so tempting.”

“Let me have a bite, too!”

“I want to lick her.”

“N-no…”

The triplets started towards Yui.

“You have no right to refuse. The only thing you need to know is this: you can most definitely not run from us,” Reiji stated plainly.

“Beating around the bush, as always. What he means to say is that we’ll kill you if you try to get away.”

Yui had no choice. She was surrounded by the triplets as she quietly took in Reiji’s and Subaru’s words. On either side of her, Ayato and Laito took turns turning her neck this way and that, and when Kanato stretched out a hand towards her, Yui let out a fearful scream.

“Please stop!”

CRASH!

Yui screamed, and the sound of glass breaking pierced the air. The triplets, who had been swarming around her in an attempt to steal her blood, snapped their heads in the direction of the sound.

A few landscape paintings had fallen over by Shuu’s feet, and glass was scattered all across the floor. 

“My bad,” Shuu said, and turned his back toward her. Yui’s eyes must not have conveyed her desperate need to be saved from the triplets.

While she was rooted in place, terrified, the realisation dawned over Yui.

Even if I run, I have nowhere to go.

“Hey, Pancake.”

Yui, still startled at the nickname, turned around. Her mind could barely keep up when Ayato grabbed her by the throat and pushed her down onto the floor.

“Are you ready to accept your fate?”

His eyes had a dangerous twinkle in them as he hovered over her. Yui could no longer find the resolve to move away. Ayato pinned her to the floor and held her gaze, his sharp fangs glistening in the light of the new moon peeking through the window. 

Please, save me…

“Oh, God!”

However, Yui’s voice never reached Him.

#my japanese has gotten so much better since I translated the CL stuff too (and like half of every page of this book is blank space lol) #so that makes it really easy to translate tbh but I don't want to promise anything since I kinda disappeared without a trace last time ;-; #also idk if any of you noticed but most of the drama CDs have been removed from soundcloud? #so yeah i've had a stable job for a while now (nice) which has allowed me to hoard my favourite drama CDs from the franchise (also nice) #i bought 8 of them in the past 2 months whoops #i also got a bunch of stuff from the purify blood kuji and i might put it up for sale later bc it's mostly characters that i don't like hah #like what do i do with a naked shin pillow case. it looks really nice but how do i explain that when someone comes over dkjfdkjfjkd #but yeah glad to be back here i hope you're all doing splendid! #diabolik lovers #dialovers #diabolik lovers translation #diabolik lovers translations #diahell #my translations #otomehonyaku #Diabolik lovers novelize #Diabolik lovers novelization

[dontmeanyoudontmissit]

.

#complaint hour but like. #my sister jam packs her schedule and then just makes plans without consulting me #which whatever on some of the stuff but with other stuff it's like... sorry I invited all of our friends down here and now you want to #invite them way up there later that same day? Like??? Fuck me I guess because I'm not making people do the sister tour of new england #I'm so annoyed because I love her fiance I think he's great but the thing that has absolutely sucked than they started dating #is that her plans and their plans always come first no matter fucking what and it's like I'm not even on the list. #whoops I'm still mad about her being 'unable' to take 3hrs off for my graduation when she was able to take a whole slew of days off to #spend time with his family and do things with their friends #and they'd been dating for like 4 months #and it was just like... this has been on the calendar for TWO YEARS #do I care that you aren't here? Not a lot. Do I care that the excuse was complete bullshit and not something that was upfront? Yes. #I should probably do something about the fact that I've been low key mad about that for 4 years now #but I will Not. #Like I fully get her and the fiance coming before me in her priority list that is how it should be but it's the fact that I feel like a #complete fucking after thought that is very very upsetting #anyways between thinking about this and my period finally showing up I'm about to cry soooo bye lol

[scarthefangirl]

Giving to the poor

Hobie brown x G/N!reader

Request: hobie with a ballerina reader who is also a HUGE bookworm-dont ask me where the idea came from because idk either lol- I kinda just wanted to see how that would maybe look?

Warnings: none? Mentions of theft

Story type: Headcannons

A/N: Not my best but please read my other fics!!

Masterlist | REQUESTS OPEN

You and Hobie don't have a ton in common

You are graceful, very sweet, and a little more awkward

Hobie is a little more- bold and rough

But you two couldn't be a better pair

He loves your smooth and sophisticated fighting style, thanks to your ballet

He thinks its hot how you almost make fighting into a dance, and can whoop anyone in heartbeat

You encourage him constantly to take up ballet, insisting that it'll do him good

"Football players do it! It helps balance and control, and you'd look fine in a leotard." You always plead

"I don't need help, I'm doin' just fine love. But I certainly would look good," He always says

In secret he'd probably watch ballet tutorials to see if its for him, to make you happy

He is FLOORED when he finds out how often you have to replace ballet slippers

"Every 6 months? That has to be so expensive!"

Just wait till he hears that you also have pointe shoes that get replaced every few months...

He will start to time out when you buy shoes and buy them for you

He listens to you rant about your terrible dance teacher and fellow ballerinas for as long as you want, nodding in agreement about how horrible they are

He'll do yoga with you (although he's not very bendy) to keep you flexible and let you laugh at how bad he is

As for your reading addiction, Hobie finds it adorable

The way you gasp and yell at your books as you read, your facial expressions that convey the emotion of the chapters, your particularity for how books should be handled, everything

He isn't the biggest reader but if you hype up a book he'll definitely check it out

You guys bond over ones you both like

"I like hunger games. We need more katniss's in the world to stick it to the man!" He says after finishing the series

Dystopian books make him mad and go on lectures about how the real government is just as bad and deteriorating and loves the wah you'll go off with him and agree and listen

Sometimes he loses you around headquarters and looks EVERYWHERE for you

Loses trust in everyone

"Have you seen them? Come on, think would ya? Yes you have, I know you have!"

Only to find you in an empty room either reading or practicing your ballet

Either way, he leans on the door frame and admire you until you notice him

"If you're gonna sneak away darlin' you could at least tell me, I worry." He scolds but smiles and sits next to you.

Hobie LOVES making people uncomfortable

He'll admire you fighting and just yell out how hot you are or how turned on he is, not caring who hears

He'll make out with you in front of anyone, anytime.

On a different note, when you obsessively buy books he wants to stop you but he can't because you look so cute with the way your face lights up at each cover

"I've been wanting this one!" Or, "I have this one but this is a different cover!"

He isn't all for traditional gender roles but he will pay for your stuff, just because he loves you. He lets you pay for him sometimes if you offer

He sometimes sneaks a book out, stealing it just because he hates the way you insist on following rules

"Here, I took this one for ya," he says

"Hobart Brown!" You scold but can't help being happy for the book

"What? I'm stealing from the rich," he gestures to the book store. "And giving to the poor," he ends, gesturing at you.

He gives to 'the poor' a lot

If you ever talk about a book to him that you want, it randomly appears on you bookshelf

~

Sorry for the abrupt ending lmao

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[bookworm551]

Of Duty and Desire | Chapter 1 | Neteyam x Metkayina!reader

He glanced away for a moment and clenched his jaw. When he looked back at you, you could see the frustration burning in his face. "I just-" he paused, staring at you intensely. "I've never wanted anything as much as I want you."

—————

Summary: You are the tsakarem of the Metkayina, promised to Aonung, and you have settled into your role nicely. Everything is as it should be until a family of Omatikaya refugees arrives, and the eldest son causes you to reconsider everything

A/N: I have been working on this piece for a while, but I literally had to rewrite this like four times so whoops. I appreciate all the love on my last fic, so hopefully y’all enjoy this too :) also, after this part I’m aging up the characters lol. Part 1 of idk

Neteyam x fem Metkayina!readers

5.8k words

Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Epilogue

Freedom is oftentimes the sacrifice demanded by duty.

The privilege of choosing how to live one's life is swept away by the responsibilities one has to their family, their friends, or their people. You thought you understood the weight of duty when you became the tsakarem of the Metkayina, but you soon realized thereafter that the cost was higher than what you were willing to pay.

In the months following their arrival, you had gotten close to the forest children. You loved spending time with Tuk. She was bright and full of wonder, and she never failed to make you laugh with her occasional sassy remark. Lo'ak was determined and a fast learner, and you were constantly amused by his poorly-hidden attraction to your best friend, Tsireya. You became fast friends with Kiri due to her deep connection with Eywa and interest in healing.

But there was something about your relationship with Neteyam that was different from all the others. In the few short months you had known each other, your friendship had grown much faster than you had expected. He was kind and respectful, and he always knew how to make you laugh. He was as close to you as the friends you had known your whole life.

You had first met him one day rather unexpectedly after their arrival. You were under the cover of the healing tent when you heard someone approach from outside. You were surprised to find the oldest Sully waiting expectantly while gripping his wrist tightly. He dropped his grip in order to offer you the customary greeting of his hand to his forehead before immediately returning to hold his wrist again.

You offered the gesture back to him before asking, "Is everything alright?" He gave an embarrassed smile and said, "I touched a plant in the water with my hand, and now it burns. I was told to come here for a remedy." You knew immediately what it was, and you offered him a sympathetic look. Taking his hand, you inspected it to confirm your suspicion.

"We learn at a young age not to touch the sea nettle," you told him with a faint smile. "Think of it as a rite of passage." His lips turned upwards at your words. "Then I suppose I'm one step closer to becoming Metkayina," he joked. You chuckled as you searched for the treatment for nettle.

While he waited for you, he sat down on the floor and said, "I do not believe we have met before. I am Neteyam." You cast a brief glance over your shoulder with a smile. "I know who you are, Neteyam te Suli," you told him. "But you are right, we have not met. I suppose that is my fault, I have been very busy since you arrived." After finding the correct bowl, you sat down across from him and introduced yourself properly.

"You are the tsakarem, yes?" Neteyam clarified as you took his hand to inspect it for any remaining nettles. "I am," you confirmed, trying not to appear proud or arrogant in the title. "I spend much of my time here in the village. I have been able to become acquainted with your mother and sisters, though you and your brother seem rarely to leave the water."

Neteyam nodded with a small smile. "We have been learning so much," he told you. "It is all still so new to us." You hummed in understanding. "You seem to be adjusting well to the reef," you observed.

Before he could respond, you took the small bowl of oil and held it above his hand. "This will sting at first," you warned. He nodded, and you poured a small amount over his palm. As you had predicted, he tensed at the pain, and you could see the muscles in his arms flex reactively. He took a deep breath and relaxed as the pain ebbed away.

Carefully, you took your thumbs and rubbed them down his palm. "Let me know if I am hurting you," you told him quietly. He remained silent as you massaged the oil into his hand. You felt his eyes on your face, so you glanced up at him. He didn't look away, keeping his amber eyes fixed on your face, and he offered you a soft smile. You were only able to hold his gaze for a few seconds before becoming slightly embarrassed, and you quickly looked back down at your hands again.

"It feels much better," he said after a moment. "I'm glad," you replied earnestly. "I haven't touched sea nettle since I was very young, but I remember the sting of it very well." He nodded his head with an ironic grin. "I don't think I will forget this any time soon," he agreed.

You continued working the oil into his skin for a moment, and you still felt his eyes on your face, though you didn't look up at him again until you were finished. Dropping his hand, you said, "Try to avoid nettle in the future. We usually save the remedy for children, but I made an exception for you this time."

He grinned at you. "I am very grateful," he told you, placing his hand over his heart. "And I will take more care in the future." Smiling at him, you replied, "I hope so. I don't want to have to patch you up every day."

He looked at you in amusement. "I'm sure there are worse ways to spend the day," he teased. You shook your head with a small laugh. "Perhaps," you conceded. "But there are certainly more productive things to do as well."

"Thank you," he said as he moved to stand up. "I will see you later tonight?" You blinked in surprise. You saw him every night during the evening meal from afar, but since you had never spoken to him before, you were surprised at his forwardness.

"I suppose," you replied, then added with a smirk, "That is unless you hurt yourself again before then." He gave you a cheeky smile. "No promises," he responded playfully.

You saw the forest boy more often after that. Sometimes he would come in claiming to be searching for his mother and then stay and talk with you. Other times, he would come in with scrapes and cuts not severe enough to warrant Ronal's expertise, but deep enough to justify seeing you for help.

Sometimes, you wondered if he was getting hurt on purpose. You didn't mind though. He was sweet and enjoyable, and he always told you stories of himself and his siblings in the forest. You knew he missed it very much, but he hid his longing behind all the funny tales of his family.

One person who was wary of your friendship with Neteyam and his family was Aonung. He had his mother's distrusting nature as well as her pride, and as his intended mate, you knew he wasn't happy with how close you had become to them. He never said anything directly to you, but he would drop subtle comments about them when you were around. Whenever you were helping teach the forest children, he watched closely for how you interacted with them. You could feel the tension between him and the Sullys, and it all came to a head about two months after they had arrived at the reef.

You were sorting things when you heard a commotion outside. You looked out in confusion before Aonung pushed his way into the tent. You took in a sharp breath as you got a look at his face.

He looked awful. His eye was starting to swell, there was blood dripping from his nose, and dark purple bruises were beginning to form on his cheek. "What happened?!" You asked him sharply as some of his friends followed in behind him sporting similar injuries on their faces. Aonung didn't look at you, but one of his friends behind him chimed in, "It was the forest boys."

You scowled at Aonung. "What did you do?" You demanded to know. He shot you an irritated look. "You are accusing me?" he asked incredulously. Your scowl deepened as you glared up at him suspiciously. "Yes," you said. "I am." He scoffed at you. He wasn't afraid of your ire when he knew he had the privilege of being the son of the two clan leaders to protect him.

"They do not belong here," he told you. "I don't know why you are so fond of those freaks." His friends behind him muttered their approval at his statement. You turned your glare to them, and they immediately fell silent and looked away. Even if Aonung didn't fear you, at least they did.

"They are here under uturu," you said in a harsh whisper. "We must treat them with respect and dignity." Aonung rolled his eyes at your words. "Where is my mother?" he asked, ignoring your statement. You huffed an irritated breath. "Out," you responded crossly, walking over to where Ronal kept her store of medicines and other mending materials.

You pulled out a jar of ointment and handed it to Aonung. "For the cuts," you told him. "Now go." You pointed at the entrance of your tent resolutely, maintaining a level glare at him. He held your gaze for a moment before taking the bowl and walking away, his friends in tow.

You closed your eyes in exasperation. How could they all be so stuck up and stupid? You knew that Aonung took great pride in being the next in line for Olo'eyktan, but you had never seen him act so rude and self-absorbed. Honestly, it was embarrassing for you.

After a moment, you decided to go out to see if you could find one or both of the Omatikayan boys to apologize on behalf of Aonung. Stepping out, you headed over to where their family was residing. From a distance, you could see that Lo'ak was stepping out of the tent, his face downcast and irritated. He was still too far from you to try and call out to him, so you skipped briskly along the suspended walkways between you to try and catch up to him.

Despite your urgent pace, Lo'ak quickly moved in the opposite direction from you, but from their tent, Neteyam walked out into the light of the sun wearing a subtle smile on his face. Approaching his tent, you called out to him. He glanced up at you in mild surprise and offered a polite nod.

You studied his face for injuries, but besides a busted lip, he seemed relatively unharmed. "I know what happened with Aonung," you began. "Well, sort of. I am very sorry about him and his friends." He gave you a soft smile and shook his head casually. "It was not your fault," he said simply. "There is no need for you to apologize."

As he spoke, you noticed the fresh blood on his lip from his cut. "You are cut," you observed. "Come with me." You grabbed his arm to lead him back to the healing canopy, but he resisted, shaking his head again. "This is nothing," he told you gently. "I will be fine."

You didn't let go of his arm. "You have come to our home as guests," you said softly. "Aonung and his friends have treated you dishonorably. Please, let me make it right." You gazed up at his face imploringly, and after a moment, his face softened and he nodded. "Alright," he conceded and followed your pulling hand.

Entering under the cover of your canopy, you had Neteyam sit down while you took out a small cloth and a salve. Dampening the cloth with fresh water, you turned to where he was sitting patiently for you.

Taking his jaw in your hand gently, you turned his face so that you could inspect the cut better. Neteyam's eyes stayed on your face for a moment before glancing away to fixate on the tent walls. In addition to the cut on his lip, you also noticed some more purplish spots starting to form on his neck.

You traced your fingers over the forming bruises on his neck. Neteyam tensed at your touch, and his eyes quickly darted to your face. You pulled back your hand from his neck and said, "Sorry." He gave you a subtle smirk. "It doesn't hurt," he assured you. "Just sensitive."

"Ah," you said in a low voice, looking away from his eyes sheepishly. You started to clean away the blood on his lip. "What did he do to start the fight?" You asked him, changing the subject. He blinked slowly and shook his head. "It does not matter," he replied in a quiet voice, looking away from you.

Your grip on his jaw tightened slightly, and you turned his face back so he would look you in the eyes. "What did he do?" You asked again in a more insistent tone. You could see him contemplating, and you held his face and gaze in expectant silence.

"He was making fun of Kiri and Lo'ak," he relented. "He called them freaks." The grip of your hand holding his face tightened reflexively as anger burned in your chest. You closed your eyes for a second to regain your composure before turning his head back to continue attending to his cut.

"I am very sorry, Neteyam," you murmured earnestly. "He never should have said those things." In your peripheral vision, you could see that his eyes were fixated on your face, but you kept your focus on his lip. "You do not have to apologize," he repeated from earlier, trying to keep his mouth still as he spoke. "You have shown nothing but kindness to my family since we arrived."

You glanced up for a moment to meet his eyes. He was looking back at you with a soft gaze, and you became aware of how close you were to his face. You turned away from him as you felt your cheeks grow warm to pull out the salve you had. Taking a small swatch on your thumb, you brushed it gently over his lip. You could feel his eyes on you as you did, and despite your best efforts, you glanced up at them. A beat of tense silence passed as you looked at each other wordlessly, one of your hands holding his face while the other was tracing his mouth.

Worried that he may be able to hear your heart pounding, you thought desperately of something to say. "He is intimidated by you," you said finally as you dropped your hands from his face and looked down from his eyes. Neteyam cocked his head to the side. "Aonung?" He clarified. You nodded as you wiped the remaining salve off of your fingers.

"He is the son of Olo'eyktan," you explained, shifting to sit on the floor next to him. "There has never been anybody to challenge that status until now, but not only was your father Olo'eyktan as well, but he was Toruk Makto. We were raised hearing stories of him. Some sound too strange to be true."

Neteyam looked at you in curiosity. "Stories?" He repeated. "Like what?"

You smiled, somewhat embarrassed. "There are many," you said slowly. "He  was once a human, a warrior from the stars." Neteyam nodded his head slowly. "That is true," he confirmed. You thought back for more rumors. "They say he killed one of the Na'vi to possess his body," you mentioned.

Neteyam let out a small, surprised laugh. "That one is not true," he said, amused at the story. "The Sky People grew his body from the blood of his brother and Na'vi blood, and his spirit now resides in it." Your forehead scrunched in confusion. "The blood of his brother?" You echoed, perplexed.

He shrugged his shoulder nonchalantly. "I don't even fully understand it," he admitted. "But the important thing is that no, he didn't possess anybody else's body to become one of the People." You nodded faintly, still very confused about Neteyam's answer.

"What else have you heard?" He prompted. You thought back to the way you imagined Toruk Makto before he came here. You had thought he would be large and intimidating like Tonowari, but with an authoritarian attitude and little humor. It was almost comical how he really was just like any other Na'vi father aside from some small physical differences and his accent.

"I thought he couldn't speak in the Na'vi tongue," you added. "We all thought he spoke a strange language." Neteyam nodded again. "When he led the revolt against the Sky People," he explained, "he spoke very little Na'vi. His first language is called English."

You tilted your head at the funny word. "English," you repeated. He smiled at your accent and nodded. "He usually only speaks it with my family," he said. "Many of the Omatikaya can speak it a little, too." You smiled back before asking, "What does it sound like?"

Neteyam shrugged. "What do you want me to say?" He said in English. You couldn't help but giggle at the strange language. "What does that mean?" You asked. He smiled at you in amusement. "I simply asked what you wanted me to say," he clarified.

You hummed thoughtfully as you came up with a phrase for him to say. You looked out at the afternoon sun casting brilliant reflections on the water outside of your tent. "The sea is very beautiful," you said finally. He looked out at the water for a moment. "The sea is very beautiful," he replied before looking back at you and adding, "and so are you."

You tilted your head and eyed him suspiciously. The pause between his words sounded like he said something extra. "All of that means 'The sea is very beautiful?'" You questioned skeptically. He glanced away for a moment with a faint smile. "Not all of it," he admitted. He paused for a moment, and then he said, "I said 'The sea is very beautiful, but I miss the forest.'"

"Ah," you said, nodding in understanding. "It must be very hard for you to be away from it." He sighed, looking back out at the sea with a far-away stare. "It is," he agreed after a while. "It is so different there. The sounds, the smells, everything. I don't think I have ever spent so much time in the sun as I have here."

You laughed at his last statement. "What do you mean?" You asked. He pointed out to where a few large, craggy precipices jutted out over the water. "The trees where I am from are higher than those cliffs," he explained. "When you are in the forest, very little sunlight reaches the ground."

Looking out to where he pointed, you shook your head in amazement. "I cannot even imagine trees like that," you said in wonder. He turned to you with a soft smile. "I'll take you to see them someday," he promised.

You smiled up at him, but it quickly faded away. You shook your head and looked away from his face. "No," you sighed regretfully. "I am tsakarem. It would not be right for me to leave the reef." He hummed in understanding. "I imagine your intended would not be happy about it either," he commented, watching you for your reaction.

You shifted uncomfortably. "No," you conceded quietly, "probably not."

When he didn't respond, you glanced up at his face and saw he was gazing at you expectantly. "He is not entirely to blame," you defended gently. "He and I have a great responsibility to the clan. He has carried it his whole life, but I am still getting used to it." He gave a small nod in understanding. "I have carried it my whole life, too," he said, then added in English, "but it didn't make me into an ass."

You smiled at the strange words and shot him a quizzical look. "I said, 'It is a heavy burden to bear,'" he translated for you. You nodded in agreement, and you missed the wry grin on his face.

"It must be nice for you finally to be free of that burden," you reflected. He heaved a heavy sigh and shook his head. "Even though my father is no longer Olo'eyktan, he still holds the title of Toruk Makto," he countered. "It is one that will always follow him, and so it will always follow me."

He stared out at the water in contemplation. There was a pause, and Neteyam gave another sigh. You could see the weight of his family's legacy on his face, and you felt a sense of compassion for him. "A heavy burden," you repeated his words quietly. He didn't say anything, lost in his own internal musings.

Even though you knew that the expectations weren't quite the same, you felt that on some level, you understood the struggle of upholding the standard of greatness in life. Your parents were very proud of your status of tsakarem, and you felt the pressure of it from them as well as Ronal, whose expectations were higher than everyone else.

"I never understood how heavy it was until now," you commented. "But I accepted my role. You were born into yours." Neteyam looked at you carefully and tilted his head in curiosity. "You accepted it," he repeated, "but did you actually want it?"

His question caught you off guard. As you pondered it, you felt a strange mix of emotions stirring in your chest. Nobody had ever considered that you wouldn't want to be tsakarem. It was easy to get swept up in the honor and prestige and forget about the fact that you were surrendering many of the freedoms you had previously enjoyed in order to prepare yourself to help lead the clan.

Your throat tightened unexpectedly as you thought about his question. Neteyam must have noticed your reaction because he shook his head apologetically. "I'm sorry," he said. "I did not mean to upset you." His words snapped you out of your thoughts. You shook your head dismissively and gave a weak smile.

"It's okay," you assured him. "I just..." you trailed off, not sure of what to say. After a beat, he took your hand comfortingly. "You carry the title with great dignity," he told you reassuringly. "And you bring honor to your people."

Your chest warmed at his words, easing the strain of his earlier question. With a shy smile, you asked, "How do you say 'thank you' in English?" He chuckled at your question. "Thank you," he told you in English.

"Thank you," you repeated in his funny language. He gave you a warm smile. "You're welcome," he replied. "You're welcome," you echoed thoughtfully. He nodded in approval. "That was almost perfect," he complimented. You hummed at his praise. "You'll have to teach me to speak it perfectly," you told him. He smiled as he looked at you. "I will," he promised gently.

You felt your cheeks warm at his soft gaze. You had never seen eyes quite like his. They were a shade of yellow you had never seen before, almost greenish in the reflections from the water.  In the prolonged silence, you realized that he was still holding your hand, so you blinked and pulled it away gently while you desperately thought of something to say.

"Your cut will heal within the next couple of days," you said finally. He blinked as though pulled from deep thought and nodded gratefully. "You are very kind," he told you. "Thank you."

You smiled. "You're welcome," you told him, trying your best to accurately mimic the way he said the phrase.

He chuckled at your use of his language. "You're a fast learner," he praised and then sighed. "I should go find my brother," he added. You nodded in understanding, and you both stood up. Before he could leave, you said, "Please send my apologies to Lo'ak."

Neteyam shook his head with a reproachful smile. He brought his hand up to your face and tilted your chin upwards with his fingers to look him in the eye. "You need to stop apologizing for things you didn't do," he told you earnestly. Then, he dropped his hand and walked out of the tent before you could reply and before he could see the deep blush forming on your face.

Later that evening, you had taken Tuk out to feed the ilus. Waist deep in the water, you both giggled as the pod of ilus gathered around, swimming in eager circles around you. You and the young girl took turns feeding them one by one.

"I think this one likes me," Tuk giggled as one of the animals nudged her side affectionately. "Yes, well, that one is notorious for loving whoever has the food," you said with a laugh. Taking a fish from the basket, Tuk fed the cuddly ilu. "Then I'll feed him every day," she said with a bright smile.

From behind you, you could hear someone moving through the water. You turned and saw Neteyam wading out to where you and Tuk were standing. Noticing her older brother, Tuk called out, "Look, Neteyam! Come feed the ilus with us."

Neteyam offered his sister a quick smile before it melted into a more urgent look.

"Have either of you seen Lo'ak?" He asked. You glanced at Tuk, who looked back at you with the same confused look. "I haven't seen him since I saw you last," you told him. "Is everything alright?"

Neteyam glanced quickly at his younger sister before looking back at you. "It's probably nothing, I'm just looking for him." He started to walk back out of the water, and you could see the look of agitation on his face. You handed Tuk the basket of fish and said, "Here, you keep feeding them, I'll be right back."

You moved out of the water to follow after Neteyam. He must've heard you behind him because he slowed down and waited for you to catch up to him. Stepping behind him, you asked, "What's wrong?"

He shot you a worried glance. "I've looked everywhere. There is no sign of him, and nobody has seen him." Your forehead scrunched up at his words. "When did you last see him?" You asked. He gave a loose shrug and replied, "Earlier today, same as you."

"At your home?" You clarified questioningly. He nodded. "Yes, after my father told him to go..." he trailed off, and you could see that a thought had entered his mind. His worried face hardened into aggravation, his jaw clenched, and his head tilted as he fought to compose his anger.

"What is it?" You questioned in concern. Neteyam took a moment to close his eyes before muttering, "Aonung." Your stomach dropped a little bit at his name. Surely, he wouldn't have caused any more trouble than he already had.

Neteyam turned from you sharply and walked at a brisk pace towards the village. You struggled to keep pace behind him. "What about Aonung?" You asked, confused. Without breaking his stride, Neteyam said, "My father told Lo'ak to apologize to him earlier, and that was the last time I saw him."

A feeling of unease settled over you, and you prayed that Lo'ak was just off brooding somewhere instead of being in trouble. As you both quickly stepped across the beach, you caught Aonung's familiar form standing in the shallow water.

"You," Neteyam called out to him in a hard tone. Aonung had been staring out at the water towards the Sea Wall, but at the sound of Neteyam's voice, he whipped around. He was immediately defensive as Neteyam stepped up to him in the water.

"Where is my brother?" He demanded. Aonung scoffed. "He's your brother," he replied in a haughty voice. "Aren't you the one supposed to babysit him?" Neteyam shot the other boy a burning glare and took a step forward to get in his face, causing Aonung to take an uneasy step back. "I kicked your ass once already today," Neteyam stated. "I will do it again if I have to."

"Enough," you said firmly, not wanting a repeat of their earlier altercation. The boys didn't say anything, still holding each other's glare. "Aonung, do you know where Lo'ak is?" You asked. After a brief pause, Aonung's eyes glanced away from Neteyam over to you, and you saw the uneasy look he had.

Your stomach sank. "Where is he?" You pressed, feeling frustrated at his silence. You could see his hesitation before he finally relented, "I'm not sure. We...we left him at Three Brothers Rock."

You inhaled sharply. "Aonung," you whispered, horrified. He didn't look at you, the severity of his actions sinking in. Neteyam was a little lost. "Where is that?" He asked you, desperate to know where his brother was. You didn't answer him, still looking at Aonung in disbelief.

"How could you do that?" you asked quietly, and he averted his eyes. You glanced back at Neteyam. "It is way out past the reef," you said. "It is not close, and it is very dangerous for him to be alone."

At your words, Neteyam's face twisted in anger. He stepped towards Aongung again, but you had anticipated his reaction and moved quickly to stand between them and placed a hand on his chest. "No fighting," you told him sternly. "We need to gather a search party for Lo'ak, not waste time giving each other more injuries for me to tend to later on."

Both the boys stared at each other for a moment before Neteyam looked down at you and gave you a barely-perceptible nod. You let your hand drop from his chest and looked over at Aonung. "When did you leave?" You asked him.

He shook his head uncomfortably. "It's been a few hours," he admitted. You closed your eyes with a heavy sigh. Neteyam huffed a sharp breath and grabbed Aonung by the back of his neck. "I'm done with this," he muttered and marched him back to the village.

A search party was quickly organized. Several warriors and divers on skimwings and ilus assembled to search for Lo'ak. With the sun receding behind the planet, you and the rest of your friends were ordered to stay within the Sea Wall.

You saw Neteyam pacing anxiously on the beach, looking out for any sign of his brother's return. You walked up to him carefully. "I'm sure they will find him soon," you assured him, breaking him from his thoughts. He heaved a large sigh and looked out towards the water.

"I should have been with him," he murmured. "This wouldn't have happened if I had been with him." You looked at him with sympathy. "You can't blame yourself," you told him gently. "If anyone is to blame, it is Aonung." He didn't argue with you, and you both knew you were right.

You sat down on the sand with a sigh, and after a moment, Neteyam followed suit and sat down beside you. "I have known him almost my whole life," you said as you sifted some sand between your fingers. "He has always been proud and stubborn, but he has never been malicious." You couldn't deny that Aonung's behavior towards the Sullys before had made you uncomfortable and disappointed, but this was on a whole new level, and you felt as though you didn't even know him at all.

You sighed again and looked over at Neteyam. He was staring out at the water with a blank gaze. You weren't sure what else to say. You couldn't assure him of his brother's safe return because there was a very real chance he was not safe. So, you just sat in silence beside him.

As the evening turned into night, Lo'ak eventually returned unharmed, much to the relief of you and Neteyam. After taking the blame for Aonung, an uneasy but not unfriendly relationship started between him and Lo'ak, and Neteyam put aside his anger for his brother's sake.

The next day, Lo'ak recounted how a lone tulkun had saved him from the akula the day before. After describing the creature who saved his life, Tsireya quickly realized that the tulkun was the outcast Payakan.

"I'm telling you guys, he saved my life," Lo'ak explained insistently. "He is my friend."

Everyone had doubtful looks, but Neteyam stood up with a jaunty smile and grabbed his brother by the shoulders. "My baby bro," he said lightheartedly. "The mighty warrior who faced the killer tulkun and lived to tell about it."

Lo'ak was not amused and pushed his brother's hands off of him. "You guys aren't listening," he huffed and walked away. You all called out to him, but he continued away in irritation. Tsireya followed after him, and the others all disbursed to start the day.

You remained sitting there, perplexed at what you had heard. Everyone in the clan knew about the dangerous, young bull who had killed both Na'vi and other tulkun, and Lo'ak's assertions of Payakan's innocence unsettled you. Deep in thought, you hadn't even realized that Neteyam had stayed behind until he asked, "What are you thinking?"

You blinked, startled out of your thoughts. You gave a short sigh. "Tsireya is right," you told him. "If it was Payakan, then your brother is lucky to be alive. Payakan is very dangerous." Neteyam looked out for a moment to where Lo'ak had stormed off. "He seems to think differently," he commented.

You shifted uncomfortably. "I do believe your brother sees Payakan as a friend, but there is a reason for his exile." You looked out at the water and shook your head faintly. "The good thing is that Lo'ak is safe," you told him.

He smiled at you warmly. "That is true," he conceded. "And I appreciate your concern for my brother. It means a lot." You shrugged and replied, "You are my friend. What concerns you concerns me."

He offered his hand to help pull you up. You took it, and he pulled you up effortlessly. After you steadied yourself, you moved to walk off, but Neteyam didn't let go of your hand. You looked up at his face questioningly, and he was staring back at you with a soft smile.

"I'm serious," he told you earnestly. "Your friendship means a lot to me. Thank you." His face was so sincere and his voice so heartfelt that you didn't respond for a moment. "You're welcome," you replied finally. He held your gaze for a moment, the corner of his lips turned upwards, before dropping your hand and walking away to begin the day.

As you watched him disappear, you couldn't help but wonder why it was exactly that your heart was beating so quickly.

Chapter 2

#avatar the way of water #avatar #neteyam fic #neteyam sully #neteyam x reader #neteyam angst #avatar fanfiction #neteyam x metkayina!reader #kiri sully #loak sully #tuk sully #jake sully #neytiri #aonung #tsireya #slow burn #forbidden lust #forbidden love #forbidden relationship

[hexagonspress]

BE by tothewillofthepeople

Grantaire is earnest in this, and it’s heartbreaking. Enjolras can’t look away. This is just a rehearsal. Grantaire is still wearing skinny jeans. They have lights and phones and textual analysis and thousands of years of history between now and then and yet– When Grantaire speaks, the distance collapses. (Grantaire as Hamlet.)

Title: Middle Ages Deco Headers/Accents: Letter Gothic Standard Body text: Adobe Caslon Pro Case title: Goudy Initialen

38,667 words | 224 pages

Binderary book 1: a long-favourite EXR fic. I love wild Les Mis AUs and I love Shakespeare and this is all of that in such a lovely lovely form. Stage manager Enjolras is inspired. Also, I've been frothing at the mouth to use my special blackletter fonts and go suuuper overboard designing and this was Perfect for that purpose.

More pictures/design/process under the cut.

Design and Construction Case: Flat-back case binding with bradel board covers and spine. The spine cloth is Hollander's pearl linen in charcoal grey. The painted titles were done in Amsterdam acrylic ink in silver, with a pair of scissors because I don't own a painting brush and likely never will. The cover papers are printed on 80gsm white printer paper and glued with a regular Elmer's glue stick and PVA on the turn-ins, and the whole case is sprayed with workable fixatif to (hopefully) preserve it longer-term.

Covers: The front and back covers were designed in Photoshop. The centre image is a William Morris pattern, and the top and bottom little circles are Renaissance printer's ornaments (pngs by the lovely @helle-bored of Renegade Bindery) that I vectorized in Illustrator (Illustrator and I were sworn enemies until this month. Now we're forced friends. Like enemies to lovers).

Insides: Endpapers are a William Morris pattern recoloured in Photoshop to be a richer green and red, obv, for EXR. Printed with inkjet on 80gsm printer paper and glued to gold cardstock, and sewn into the textblock. Endbands are pre-sewn from Hollanders, dyed gold with acrylic ink to match the endpapers.

Typesetting Typeset was done in InDesign. This is a one-shot with scene breaks, so to match the theatre theme of the piece I replaced the horizontal line breaks with flagged scene numbers. I tried to strike a balance in the typesetting between classic Shakespearean aesthetic with the blackletter drop caps and cover fonts versus what you might see in a theatre script book with the monospace accents. The title spread uses a transparent decorative frame, again from Helle's collection; the large box in the middle with the title was part of the original frame and then I duplicated and resized it for the author name and my imprint.

We All Do It, or, the Mistakes Section I somehow managed to print the cover papers nine inches tall and didn't see a problem with it until they came off the printer. Truly who knows how that happened. I was working on the case at two in the morning and cut the spine cloth the wrong length three separate times...earned the measure once cut twice badge big time for that one. The endpapers were an ordeal and a half for real. What I learned: print them too big and glue the cardstock to the back, then trim the paper to size, not the other way around otherwise you'll end up with big ugly gaps where the trimming was a few millimeters off. Whoops.

And...more pictures

I'm particularly pleased with how the covers here came out so here's closeups. Also, the arc on the spine that you can see in the endband on the last one is really pleasing to me lol I fought a war trying to get the flatback hinge calculations right.

#binderary2023 #les miserables #enjoltaire #bookbinding #fanbinding #kvothes #my books

[butterfrogmantis]

I've been holding onto Matador since I got back from Barcelona months ago and here he FINALLY is. And also another newbie!

Matador Smurf:

-Ironically very anti killing. He just wants to show off more than anything. Can usually subdue large or dangerous animals into crashing into walls and stuff quite well but he's a noble heart, will never go for the kill. IS a skilled fencer for other sapient opponents when it's fair. Would fight Don more but Don's a swashbuckling kind of hero whilst Matador sticks to fencing rules and would probably lose in a real swordfight.

-The Barcelonian! From the Catalonia region of Spain. Knows both mainland Spanish and Catalonian but tends to use Catalonian to P off Elena who only knows mainland Spanish … bit of a cultural rivalry there XD

-As bad as Smooth for flirting with everything that moves. Actually that includes Smooth too. It's a flirt off. And by that I mean dating but not. It's similar to Smooth and Slammy, both are wayyy too non committal to settle down but after Smooth's 174758th rejection from Jokey and when Slammy is back to doing his part time dating of the band Smooth can usually be found crawling back to Matador

SmurfHemlock:

-Born SmurfSunflower (Sunny) was a shy kid who disliked the other typical grove activities like archery and dance. Thought she didn't really fit in with anyone and would usually just be found down by the swamp poking stuff with sticks. She had one friend tho, a friend she thought was just as weird. SmurfRafflesia was obsessed with the undead and paranormal, and through her admiration of her, Sunflower came to enjoy these things too, finding beauty in death and wanting to preserve it somehow.

-Teenage Sunflower takes on a goth not-phase and changes her name to Hemlock (Sunflower was so … preppy!) and begins to study the art of taxidermy. Still regarded as one of the black sheeps of the grove but she minds it much less now - she kind of revels in the solitude. Begins developing a fairly big crush on Rafflesia before one day … Raff just goes missing out of the blue. It breaks Hemlock's heart and she sinks further into the loner persona. Also some weird demon got out somewhere but Papa and Willow took care of that.

-Lol JK Raff isn't gone forever, she shows up one day as a ghost and claims some Archaeologist from the guy village found her and whoops she's been gone for a century what did she miss haha. Well Hemlock is PISSED. I mean who does that? Esp/ since Rafflesia admits she wasn't even trapped she was just vibing in the mausoleum Archie found her in (Raff and Archie are a bit similar in that way, they're both married to their work and can be a bit self absorbed in it at times)

-Anyway Hemlock's been doing great w/ her taxidermy all this time. She's very careful and only sources natural deaths or kills … but may adopt elderly insects with some ulterior motives. At least she's good to em and they get a very comfortable end of life before becoming art pieces. Go figure. She's made up w/ Raff, it is pretty cool to have a ghost friend after all, and apparently Rafflesia also made some new friends in the village - holy shit is that a talking skeleton?? That's pretty goth.

-Skelly groans internally. Yet more admirers. Will he 'ere be rid of his fans ("Shut up Skelly")

Smooth (c) The Smurfs

Matador, Elena, Rafflesia and Hemlock are mine

#smurfs #the smurfs #mildly suggestive #tag for Smooth LMFAO #BFM oc: Elena #BFM oc: Matador #BFM oc: SmurfRafflesia #BFM oc: SmurfHemlock

[jesuisici33]

2023 Writing Round Up!

Writing Round-Up: Share what you wrote this year! It can be works you posted to Ao3, Wattpad, Tumblr, or anywhere else! You can share everything you wrote or just the ones your most excited about.

i honestly didn't think i wrote/published a lot of fic this year, but that actually turned out to be a lie when i went back and checked out my stats this year so i'm pleastantly surprised and impressed with myself! so here's my writing round up!

January

Drabble Life 2023 - Jan 2nd, 2023 - (Schitt's Creek, 1.9k)

new year, new drabbles! drabbles based on weekly prompts from schittscreekdrabbleblog on tumblr

A Lesson in Flirting - Jan 3rd, 2023 (Schitt's Creek, Teen, 1.9k)

a 5+1 fic where patrick is oblivious when women flirt with him and 1 time where he knows when a man flirts with him

Public Relations - finished Jan 31st, 2023 (Schitt's Creek, E, 38k)

Patrick Brewer and Rachel Davis are everyone's favorite rom-com actors, and since this is the sixth time they're playing a couple and with the public demanding when they're going to start dating, their PR manager, Alexis Rose has them perform a PR relationship for two years to help promote their latest movie. Patrick, however has recently been casted in the new book to series adaption of The Thief and the Prince alongside David Rose, making his fake relationship with Rachel go into jeopardy

February

Month of Love - all month long (Schitt's Creek, 11.8k)

My attempt at doing 28 drabbles in 28 days!

Patrick vs. The Sexy Vets - Feb 7th, 2023 (Schitt's Creek, Teen, 461 words)

"Smiling quizzically at Dr. Miguel, Patrick was about to ask what he meant but his question died on his tongue when Miguel set the kennels down so he could take off his shirt."

Or, a little drabble of what if Patrick was there when Miguel shot that photo for that add of his?

April

Keep My Hands Tied - April 4th, 2023 (Schitt's Creek, E, 2.4k)

Right now David was on his knees in his and Patrick’s bedroom, taking steadying breaths as Patrick loped the blue rope around David’s body slowly around him. It wasn’t often David asked Patrick to dominate him. When they first got together, David found out his inclination of Patrick to be slightly wrong. But the way Patrick said, “Oh, I’m gonna get the money,” or, “You’re going to sit here and think about what you’ve done,” that time when they got back together… That tone never failed to leave David’s vivid imagination or fantasies.

June

What We Don't See At The 118 - June 20th, 2023 (911, 381 words)

Prompts I've received on tumblr*

*lol this only has one entry so far, this fic was supposed to be for little drabbles but some prompts i've recieved have grown to one-shots in my wip folder whoops

It's Photoshop - June 30th, 2023 (911:Lonestar, Teen, 567 words)

TK meets a friend who also likes bearded dragons. And Carlos' secret comes out.

July

cause i believe that we were supposed to find this- July 10th, 2023 (911: Lonestar, Teen, 3.2k)

As soon as they are at the scene a cop is already there waiting for him. He’s younger than TK expected. He greets his dad before letting him take the lead of the scene. TK doesn’t get a good look at him, doesn’t bother interacting with him - too busy to do his job of getting Allison out of her car. In fact, he even forgets about the timer on his wrist.

If he did, he would’ve noticed that the countdown is less than a minute.

When the 126 find out that Allison has another baby - one not still inside her - it doesn’t take long for Paul to figure out the baby miraculously landed in a tree. And isn’t that a news story. The cop comes up to TK and asks, “How the hell-” when two distinct buzzing sounds go off.

Both men look down at their wrists.

Or, you're born with a timer on your wrist that counts down to when you meet your soulmate.

Castles Crumbling Down- July 14th, 2023 (911, Teen, 1.5k)

Eddie sits down on the bench, laying his head back against the cold stone wall. With his eyes closed and arms crossed, he hopes it fools the guards into thinking Eddie is more calm than he really is. That they can’t tell how much his heart is pounding or how his skin itches to start punching things. Again. Just like how they found him when his hood fell off and people let out cries that the Princess Assassin is here amongst them.

OR: i had a tumblr prompt in my ask box and when i watched nimona things finally clicked.

You Can Take the Man Out of the Midwest... - July 29th, 2023 (911, G, 1k)

At first, Bobby gets trolled for all things midwest, it isn't until later he can use his teammates non midwest knowledge to his advantage...

September

yes i know that he's my ex but can't two people reconnect? - Sept 25, 2023 (911:Lonestar, E, 2.8k)

seeing him tonight - it's a bad idea, right?

(fuck it, it's fine)

tagged by @wikiangela and @hippolotamus

tagging @malewifediaz @911-on-abc @eddiebabygirldiaz @monsterrae1 @daffi-990 @rmd-writes @spotsandsocks @liminalmemories21 @aroeddiediaz @disasterbuckdiaz @loserdiaz @giddyupbuck @bonheur-cafe @wandering-night19 @alrightbuckaroo @tyfinn @lizzie-bennetdarcy @your-catfish-friend @pirrusstuff @carlos-in-glasses @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @eowon @apothecarose @mammameesh @heartshapedvows @fortheloveofbuddie @cultofsappho

#can you tell when college got the better of me? lol #anyways hopefully the writing bug will bite me again soon!

[floatingxendlessly]

Omg an early post!...at the expense of no post tomorrow ;A;

So instead here's a page of sketches! I really liked the central one so I'll prolly remake it at a later date

Ive got a bit of info for some of the sketches, and then some bonuses at the end!

So I've been digging around in some of my old notebooks, not sketchbooks, and I found this!

I don't know why I lost that artstyle, I really like the eyes (I'm realizing that I technically haven't drawn seriously in two years, not a month, whoops, time flies by quick.) but it'll look really good now that I'vs gotten more expreience! Anyways, I decided to talent swap Kaz with Fuyu, since I presume that's what I was gonna do years ago. There's so many possibilities alone from just talent swapping! :0

The central one is Fuyuhiko somewhat ranting about Natsumi, his parents, and general, vague events from his 'work.'

The far right sketches are loosely based on my Yakuza AU where most of class 77 either formally joins the Kuzuryuu Clan or have a mutual/secret alliance with the Clan. I've got two versions, but the one that matters at the moment is the Kuzusouda one. This one involves the two getting married with Kaz taking over the duties of the 'wife', which basically means he's Fuyuhiko's shadow. He's gotta learn everything Fuyu knows, be trained and be just as involved as he can. After all, there's the possibility of death at every corner and it's not just his hubby's life on the line. I introduced Harue but how could I forget her little bro, Akinori?

And you also deserve some concept art of the kids since you made it this far! :D (Don't mind the makeshift piano lol)

Anyways, I'll be back on the 10th :3

#fuyuhiko kuzuryu #kazuichi souda #kuzusouda #drif's art das a me #fan child #fankid

[not-poignant]

Hi Pia

I'm so sorry you've been experiencing difficulties recently. I'm sending all my love and light your way and hope you start to feel a little less shitty soon.

P.s - Do you mind sharing your tiktok so we can follow you there too? Or is it a private acc?

Lots of love to you <3

It's not private! It's just not updated very often. Overall I'm more active on Instagram. But neither are private. The Tiktok is very art-focused so it might not be what you're looking for. But it's also pretty harmless overall.

And thank you anon <3

The last few days I had to stop writing and like...quickly redo my schedule for December and cut it back a little, which always makes me sad, but I'm trying to conserve my mental health as well as my physical. I realised I met all the criteria for a pretty serious depressive episode late last week (I have, alongside severe PTSD, Major Depressive Disorder, which is the one that will kill me if I don't keep an eye on it -> though I'm happy to report I'm not like in a very like 'I don't want to live' space right now, I can just tell I'm feeling / experiencing a lot of the red flags that go in that direction), and if I don't act now, that tends to lead to pretty bad places.

So I've redone the schedule for December and that will come out likely on Friday or Saturday. And then I'll only be posting during January for half of the month, and not the whole month, and taking off two weeks re: posting. Hopefully these are the sorts of things which will head off me needing to go into hiatus because I desperately don't want to do that <3

I can already tell I'm doing a little better after being a lot firmer with some boundaries, and also just...with myself re: taking more time off. I wish I didn't feel so guilty about it? But that's not anyone's fault here, that's shit to work on with my therapist/s, lol.

Today I spent around 3 hours researching a response to an ask (whoops), and then realised - not through any one person's actions but a bunch at once - that I need to kind of stop engaging with facecast stuff (nothing wrong with facecasting, the problem is wholly on me there and I wish I'd seen that sooner and saved people some pain and saved me from some rudeness).

I put away the shopping (we have a really good grocery delivery system here which is great for my disabilities etc.), and had some raspberries, and put on the Christmas tree lights.

I was so tired at lunch that I could only manage a bowl of cereal (and couldn't eat breakfast. I think my therapist would be like 'why are you putting three hours of research into responding to something instead of focusing on eating food' but well, whoops? Lol. To be fair I thought it would be way easier to answer, but Tumblr's search function is SO broken).

I fed my wonderful cat, Maybe, and got some sleep in the afternoon and then did some writing (1,200 words) on Palmarosa. It's like 7.00pm right now, and I'm going to put up some chapter commentaries on Patreon and Ream.

Tonight I might do some watercolour art, and I'm hoping to finish Palmarosa tomorrow.

December is actually a hard time of year for me anyway. It's the month that has the most chronological / time-based triggers, and my therapists know this and I'm hearing a lot of 'how are you in the lead up to December' which is about to become 'how are you coping with December.'

I'm grateful for small pleasures. Like my dahlias are looking pretty awesome right now. Here's some photos of this week (some art I'm working on, Maybe being cute, or screm, dahlia, Christmas set up, T-Rex ornament, Santa Platypus ornament):

#asks and answers #personal #lots of love to you too anon i hope you like the photos #that pride blanket was crocheted by my mum #i never have a themed christmas it's just #20 years of collected decorations salfjkas

[dampsleeves]

life update :3 (a little vent-y)

sooo, been over 200 days since the house caught fire and we had to move. obviously, a lot of stuff's been happening. can't go into deep details for fear of someone I don't want to find this, finding this, but I'll say this much: FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've very rarely mentioned family on here (for obvious reasons - this account is NOT made for that lol) but here goes. tw for pretty heavy topics: mentions of abuse, father issues, health issues, transphobia & financial issues. I turned 18 Feb 21st, literally just almost 2 months before the damn house caught fire. Meanwhile, my brother's still a minor. MEANING, I narrowly escaped the custody battle my mom & dad are in. But unfortunately, he's still stuck in the middle of it. :( My pops was not really the nicest person to me when I was a kid -

whooping my ass whenever I did anything wrong, no matter how minor the offense was.

Telling me that he loved God more than he loved me, because "You're God's gift to me. God is the one who gave you to me in the first place," when I was four.

Telling me that if I didn't start being ok with receiving physical affection from family - which he knew made me uncomfortable - I was "going to grow up to be a S3R1AL K1LL3R" (yes he said that.)

Telling me that "God doesn't make mistakes," and that he "made me into a beautiful young woman for a reason" after I came out to him personally at 14 - big mistake 0/10 stars, would never do again. You get the idea. And those are the tame examples I could think of. So, I finally cut him off. As soon as my mom, brother, & I were in our new place, I blocked his number and haven't talked to him since. I was sick of him not respecting my boundaries, and repeatedly demonstrating that he thought of me as nothing more than a possession. Tired of him making me feel crazy all the time too. But now he's fucking with my mom & brother. Intentionally not paying child support till the last minute possible - & then making it in as small of payments at a time as he possibly can (yes he can afford it btw.) Trying to force my brother to go over to his place, even when my brother does NOT want to - which has begun giving my brother psychological issues & issues with school, mirroring the ones I used to struggle with bc of that bastard. My mom is juggling all sorts of things, & I really at least wanna try to help financially by getting a job, but I can't yet because: she says that I'm only 18, & shouldn't have to get a job to help out (I disagree.) I don't have an ID bc she wants me to wait on my legal name change - which costs a pretty decent chunk of change - reason is bc she "wants me to have as easy an early adulthood life as possible" (love her.) AND, I haven't actually graduated - No, I dipped in 11th bc school was hell (not exaggerating,) & instead just decided to pursue a GED, that I haven't been able to work towards bc of the shit show that is life in midwestern america. So I've been very depressed, exhausted, & hopeless. The least I can do is clean up our house while she's at work, & get this - some days I don't even have the physical energy to do THAT! I do not know what the hell is wrong with my body currently, but it absolutely sucks. & I'm really tired of just taking up space all the time. She's dealing with health issues too, & I'm always worried ab her. Idk what the hell to do, but something's gotta give. Everybody needs a fucking break. I keep trying to shoo away all the dark thoughts, push myself as often as possible, & keep my fingers crossed, but jfc... Sorry just needed to yell into the void for a sec. I'll live, I'm sure - I've survived worse. Sometimes things just suck. But I like to think that someday they won't. :,)

#spiidervent #not snz #venting :3 #feel free to ignore this if you dont wanna hear me bitch and moan

[serendipnpipity]

#WADGALA Meetup

Hello, internet! My name is [Ser]. (lol sorry, Dan...)

I started watching Dan (and Phil) in spring 2018, lucky enough to catch the last PINOF and the start of the hiatus (whoops). Back then, I didn’t realize how much these two random British YouTubers would impact my life, but I knew they were a source of comfort and could make me smile on bad days. None of my friends knew about them at all, but I remember one sleepover, making my best friend huddle around my tiny iPhone 5S to watch “My Bahamas Travel Disaster” at 3am because it was the funniest thing in the world. The joy it brought me had to be shared. I still think about it every time I go through the TSA. 

And maybe there was something about Dan’s airport mishaps that really spoke to me, or maybe it’s just his knack for engaging storytelling that also made “I Nearly Blinded Myself” cement itself into my brain as *the* standard for narrative construction. The amount of times that goddamn pistachio muffin has crossed my mind while writing college essays, applications, even my own stories, because goodness that’s clever usage of a narrative callback for closure. (Side note: the pipeline from trying a pistachio muffin to loving anything pistachio flavored ever now is very, very real. Anyway.) Through that video and countless others, the hot mess of my existence looked less like the end of the world (ha) and more like a trove of stories worth laughing about and learning from. I could safely store my embarrassing memories in a drawer for later instead of locking them in a box and throwing away the key.

Of course, speaking of locked-up secrets in boxes, I could go on for quite a long time about how much BIG and June 2019 healed the baby queer kid just barely starting to allow others to see and accept her… but a lot of us have been on similar journeys, so I’ll spare you the extra ten pages. I will say that it will forever be funny to me that Dan came out almost exactly a month after I came out to my mom, though. That definitely made me feel less alone.

Fast forward five years later, I’m still here. Lucky enough to coincidentally hop back onto tumblr on the day of the great gaming channel comeback after a year of being away and just in time to watch We’re All Doomed with all of you! All those years ago, I didn’t realize two random British YouTubers could have such an impact my life. But looking at all this…

I’m so glad they did. 

Thank you, @danielhowell!!! Joke all you want about consistent uploading schedules, you have literally been a constant in my life since I was thirteen. I've never met you, yet somehow you've made me smile again during some of the roughest times of my life, and isn't that pretty darn amazing? I hope you know how much you've impacted the world, 'cause you've surely impacted mine. Thank you for that.

#WADGALA #phandom meetup #ser shares #more like ser overshares w the amount i wrote lol #didn't feel confident enough to post an actual picture of me *but* wanted to show y’all my outfit #so (in the least catfishy way possible) i decided to draw me instead! #i'm so excitedddd #ser sketches

[bouncybrain]

I don't interact with the HSR community so I'm just going to put the 2.2 spoilers here just in case because I'm so mad. I'm genuinely upset with the story. This is why I've had to take breaks going through Penacony it makes me feel like my brain is leaking and I need to rant about this at ass-o'clock

We got on Penacony and they were like "well nobody really knows all that much about the Watchmaker so like lol go find out" and then they took forever to get there.

I walked onto Penacony, looked straight at Misha, and went "what are you talking about I'm done I've found him what else do you want from me, can Dan Heng come back and play yet" because you're telling me they finally dropped us on Penacony with a storyline about "The Watchmaker's Legacy" and also just a guy with a pocket watch we hang out with in a weird dream place and thought they were being subtle? Why do I have to sit through all of this. Give us a skip button.

Repeatedly hammering information into the dialogue doesn't make for a good story, a good twist, a good hint, or even good character development/backstory reveals. There is no subtlety here. The only "mysteries" we have are just plot threads that they haven't given us any information about. Like "WOW WHAT'S THIS DEATH THING WOAHHHHHH" and then doing nothing about it until they're like "WHOOPS HAHA GALLAGHER DID IT??? WOW WHAT A SHOCK!" and then they're like "WOAH THAT'S SAM?????? CRAZY! I WONDER WHAT ELSE" and then dropping "SIKE THAT'S FIREFLY!" and now they're like "HEY REMEMBER MISHA HE WAS THE WATCHMAKER ALL ALONG ISN'T THAT WILD!" Where did the Gallagher-Death team come from? Why? There were no hints. Where did Sam being Firefly come from? Sure, having a Stellaron Hunter present makes sense, but what the fuck does this have to do with anything? I don't care. (Seeing Blade in a suit driving a car was nice though.) And, as stated, I already knew Misha was the fucking Watchmaker from the goddamn start.

Honkai: Star Rail's story could be so much better. Actually going through the story could be so much better. I am, surprisingly, capable of getting sucked into a game's story even when it has less intense gameplay than HSR. (I played "In Other Waters" around this time last year and it was fantastic! I enjoyed it a lot! Here's the link to the game on Steam if you're curious.) There's so much more to crafting a long, ongoing story with moving parts than simply dumping all relevant info in massive clumps while repeating said relevant info at any possible moment. I could critique a lot of the recent choices they make with their storytelling. I've been writing this rant while waiting TO FUCKING MOVE AGAIN. I already figured out everything they're telling me!

Just give me my new hat. And I want this next adventure to be with Dan Heng, please. Please. He pays attention and I don't have to explain something I figured out months ago.

#hsr #honkai star rail #honkai sr #hsr spoilers #honkai star rail spoilers #penacony spoilers #brother hanu is the real hero #rant #honkai sr spoilers #2.2 hsr spoilers #2.2 spoilers #version 2.2 spoilers #contrary to what this post says i do like enough of the game to keep playing #i just have to take breaks or i'll give in to the gamer rage #bouncy plays

[lincolndjarin]

ro's very reasonable 2023 wrap up schedule.

hi lovelies!! (figured out how to do a color gradient, took me weeks, i'm fucking thrilled, expect more of that nonsense in this post lol)

it's mid november and as the year comes to a close i'd like to wrap up a lot of stuff so here's the plan :

NOV 12 : BKS 26 : crucifixion (currently being edited will be out by tonight.)

NOV 12-19 : BKS 27 : the apostate (will be released at some point here, it's gonna be on the shorter side so it shouldn't take too long

NOV 25 : Oh Honey, Chapter Four : painting the roses red (another long chap, gonna need some time to get this one out so at the latest it will be out on the 25th!!)

The First Week of December will be my 1,000 follower celebration, I'm going to be doing a week of Best Kept Secret content leading up to the final BKS chapter !! (this will include the release of my 500 follower celebration whoops)

Best Kept Secret Week :

DEC 1 : BKS 28 : a place for us (the technical final chapter of BKS)

DEC 2 : BKS Q&A (gonna ask for questions at some point here i'll make a post and answer any final questions about bks!!)

DEC 3 : Bound in Beskar - 500 follower celebration (a one off based on the book princess reads in bks)

DEC 4 : BKS what ifs (it's 8 days of stuff they can't all be hits. tbh i needed a day filler and i've got a lot of alternative story lines in bks so fuck it, i'll talk about those here)

DEC 5 : Best Kept Secret Art!! (i commissioned three artists to illustrate some of my favorite scenes bc i'm a sap so i will be posting all of that on this day and i'm so excited for y'all to see it!! they're wonderful artists and they've done wonderful work so far <3)

DEC 6 : Secrets Best Kept - 1,000 follower celebration (a one off where Din Djarin is the new reluctant ruler of Mandalore, a tutor is hired to help him during his early days as a ruler to learn proper etiquette for royalty)

DEC 7 : A love letter to Best Kept Secret. (pretty much just gonna be one last corny post to thank everyone for reading)

DEC 8 : BKS 29 : the best kept secret (epilogue) (corny ass name ik, anyhow, this will be it!! this will be the last main update of best kept secret!!)

DEC 16 : Oh Honey, Chapter Five : a very merry unbirthday (this will be the last chapter of oh honey!! i've always intended for this to be a short form story so it will be wrapped up at the latest by the 16th!!)

DEC 24 : Best Kept Christmas (gonna sneak one last good bye to bks in at the end of the month with a christmas special lol)

and then i will be taking the last week of december to write my next fics! rest!

so yeah lol, my goal is to wrap up all ongoing fics this year but but but if you made it this far (i love you *mwah*) here's some of the fics coming in 2024!! i won't be starting anything new this year but next year i've got big plans >:)

Then & Now (probs gonna change that title) - this will be my main fic for a bit, i've been itching to start this for so so long, f!reader x joel. definitely gonna be more on the angsty side

i'm participating in pmamc 2024 so there will be an Oberyn one off in January!!

Andromeda - this is gonna be my next din x reader !! i don't have much other than the base idea but im gonna keep that a surprise haha

And plenty of other stuff i'll figure out lol

#lincolndjarin #fic : best kept secret #fic : oh honey

[bokettochild]

what got you into lu?? furthermore, what made you want to write about it???

Story time I guess!

I've been writing since I was eleven, properly since thirteen. When I was about seventeen or eighteen or so, i was actually working on novel that I still haven't finished (whoops!) I was trying to do some character designs and my sister randomly showed me a picture on Pinterest of BotW Link! And, well, I thought he was just the most Person Ever! I wanted to see more! Maybe he would help inspire my work somehow! I mean, she had a princess named Zelda in her stories, so it's not like it'd be weird to learn from something, right? Especially if I didn't lean to heavily into it!

Anyways, cue me a couple months later, scrolling through Pinterest, looking at almost anything legend of Zelda and running into- what's this? Link's meet? Huh, cool! Wait, there's another one? A whole AU? Look at those designs! Look at the costuming! Holy crap this inspires me!

Que me turning to Zelda whenever I wanted to get fired up for art. Somewhere along the line though, I started wondering what all this pretty art by JoJo(random numbers) was from, so I checked out her blog and hello! Sibling dynamics between two of the heroes?

I fell in love with the dynamic between the wolf trio, and honestly couldn't stand a lot of the other links. Legend was a pain in my ass that I thought was super annoying at first. I was here for WILD! He was my baby and I got irritated when he didn't show up for a while.

Yes. I was one of those Wild fans LOL

It wasn't until I started reading fanfics that I learned to enjoy the other boys. I started with the ones JoJo posted and then started looking them up on Ao3. I followed hc blogs and art blogs and anything that looked cool. I read hc after hc about relations between the boys. I found Sillus's work on Ao3 and fell in love with Legend and the Prince leg head cannon.

And then one day, while washing my hair of all things, I was struck with a shower thought. What if all the boys were related?

I thought I'd just submit the idea to a blog and sit back, but my brain took off running. How would it work? Why would it work that way?

I'd been in a writers slump and depressed as I tried to get another story off the ground, but the ideas kept coming so I drafted a outline. Days later, struggling with writing block, I said "screw it!" and wrote the first chapter of TBBU instead of trying once more to introduce a non-existent audience to a made up world even I wasn't sure about.

And, well, once you write one thing, all it takes is time!

#asks and answers #asks game #linked universe #linkeduniverse

[corvid-language-library]

2024 Goals Monthly Check-In

I actually didn't do this last month because I was ill all of February and didn't make much/any progress with anything so I felt it was kinda pointless 😅 Let's see where I'm at now!

Japanese

1) Reach ~N3 level - I've not really been focusing on this so much. I've started using HelloTalk again and occasionally trying to learn a little new N3 grammar/kanji/vocab, but I should probably study in a more focused way.

2) Learn 10 songs by heart to a level where I could sing them at karaoke - Oh yeah I haven't worked on this at all, I kinda forgot it was a thing lmao

3) Finish reading another book of short stories - No progress made whoops. I try to read articles on Todai/NHK Easy a bit more but I've not touched my short story book.

4) Finish both Minna No Nihongo books - I'm about halfway through unit 11, so I'm a little behind but not too much. Hoping to finish unit 11 tonight and unit 12 at some point this week, but we'll see what happens!

Norwegian

1) Read at least 2 books in Norwegian - Not started yet

2) Maintain an overall B2/C1 level - I think I'm maintaining, but I need to immerse more for sure

3) Finish Enjoy Norwegian textbook - I've completed unit 2 so I'm a little behind where I wanted to be, but I should be able to catch up relatively easily.

Life in Japan Goals

As with last time, I'm just gonna focus on the goals where I've made progress rather than listing all 11. So:

1) Get my hair cut - Did it! And it wasn't as scary as I thought it would be :D

4) Have a 10-minute conversation with a native speaker in Japanese that’s not an italki lesson - I managed to chat with the hairdresser, so I can definitely say I did this!

6) Go to the dentist - I've booked an appointment and I'll be going next Monday. Absolutely terrified :D

7) Go to a prefecture I haven’t been to before - I went to Tochigi last weekend!

11) Be able to point to every prefecture on a map and name their capital cities - I can still more or less do this, but I sometimes mix up some prefectures or can't quite remember a capital

Non-language

1) Read 36 books - I've read 11/36 books, which means I'm 3 books ahead of schedule.

2) Complete a first draft of a novel manuscript - no progress made lol

3) Comfortable two-block oversplit with back bend - my oversplits are there but they feel very tight and not comfortable, so I need to work more on them.

4) Consistently hold a handstand for 5 seconds - I can barely balance on my hands at all atm lmao but I'll keep trying

5) Noticeably improve my demi pointe - I'm using the strength in my feet a lot more than I used to but I'm not getting much higher. I'll keep at it!

Health/diet goals under the cut:

Diet & health goals

1) Tackle my diet soda and sugar addictions - I've come a long way with the binge eating! I bought a multipack of chocolate marshmallow biscuits and managed to just take one with me to work every day instead of sitting and binging the whole lot. And right now I have a family-sized bag of mini eggs in my cupboard and I'm managing to eat a controlled set portion each day. I still mess up my diet sometimes, but I'm very happy with how I'm doing!

Diet soda is still a huge problem though lol

2) Slim down enough that none of my clothes are tight anymore - I look and feel SO much better about myself! For ages I've not wanted to dress up nicely because I felt like I looked frumpy or chubby or shapeless in my nice outfits. But when I was packing for Utsunomiya, I tried on all my cute outfits and I thought they looked good! I still want to lose a bit more so that I can see my abs, but I'm really happy with my progress here.

#2024 goals #nutcracker norsk #nutcracker nihongo #jackdaw in japan #a rook reading books #flight of fitness #chough chatterings

[longeyelashedtragedy]

2023 post

i'm struggling through this with a kind of broken keyboard (sticky M U J keys) so bear with me!

because the last month of this year has been such a fucking nightmare (that i'll be working to remove myself from come tuesday) i realized that the good things that happened this year kind of escaped me.

cause--this year was good, in ways that as always with my life cannot be seen by the outside world. it was a messy year but some things changed that i still haven't fully made sense of.

-this year i met so many cool people on here, or got closer to some other people who i'd known before. if "meeting cool people on tumblr" was a skill you could put on your resume, i would definitely feel qualified to put it on my resume, but this year i feel like i just got acquainted with a really high quality group of people (all who support different teams, too!) and that's been so much fun and rewarding as well. i always feel a bit guarded telling people that i care about them but...i do. a lot!

-this june i went on a #YOLO trip to the netherlands that i could not afford but even now when i see my charming credit card debt i have to say i have No Regerts. i got to meet two of these tumblr friends who i've been close to for long enough that they've transcended "internet friend" for me and feel like Friends I've Known a Long Time. we had such a comfortable and fun time travelling together, to a place i've wanted to visit since i was young, and the benefit of meeting Tumblr Friends in real life is that you can make sure everyone's brain needs are taken care of! together we went to see italy beat NL (feat. virg van d slur in the flesh) in the stadium and then watched croatia lose to spain in the basement of a sports bar in utrecht and they got to see that it's 100% true that i cry during the croatian national anthem before the game 😂 i got to do so many bucket list things--visit the rijksmuseum, go solo to delft and see all the vermeer places and settings of my favorite book, girl with a pearl earring (and accidentally wander into a government building looking for a church, whoops), and see the girl with a pearl earring herself for the second time, but this time at her home in the mauritshuis. also i took a lot of fun trains and like every time i go from american Big Corn Syrup and Weird Additives food to europe, everything i ate was good as fuck. and i slept in a pod for two nights! i have the opposite of claustrophobia (claustro...philia? lol) so that slapped. so great, and getting to meet up with friends who live on the other side of an ocean is so fucking special.

-LAMPARDVERSE! nuff said, but it's been an absolute blast getting to co-create it and research all the lore. this is just the beginning, long may it live!!! also thanks to you all for putting up with me blasting a white english chelsea man on your dashes. it will happen again.

-irl stuff...the most unexpected. this year i was able to comfortably become friendly with people who are quite different from me. i was confident in the parts of my personality that are Different--i had fun owning it, and i saw that people really like that person. the craziest thing was that a huge obstacle in my path was that cptsd causes me to feel physically uncomfortable around people, even people i like, aside from emotional discomfort, but the thing is when your body is getting physical danger signals they're extremely difficult to "ignore" (for a reason!) or put aside to focus on the mental stuff.

this year i just went for it--went through months of extremely draining and uncomfortable "exposure therapy" by way of forcing myself to try to stay present in conversations with people i knew i liked, even if the conversations/their presence freaked me out and drained me. (i'm not some magical uwu inspiration/good luck miracle, for anyone who might be in this situation and feel envious--i've been in intense therapy since 2013, do a lot of my own mental work in between, and take two different medications. it took me 10 years to get there! i say this cause there is no shame in the hard work.) importantly, with the people i felt i trusted enough and whose opinion of me i valued enough for them to know the truth, i just told them what was going on with me. not in any graphic detail or TMI, but i told them one of the things that has a big impact on how i present to the outside world (i suffer from trauma), what this trauma suffering looks like to the outsider (sometimes i stop talking altogether in a conversation, and not just that, but i zone out so hard that it looks like i'm not even paying attention, even though sometimes i still am), and what it means about how i feel about them/how they should take it (it means nothing at all, so please please don't take it personally)

they took this level of openness and honesty very well, and i found that telling them these limitations of mine helped to set me free. not living with the lifetime fear of being "found out," not having to worry while i was having a Trauma Moment that people were thinking badly of me and that it was severely impacting my socialization--all of this suddenly helped me start staying in the present while talking to people and while people were talking to me. and not just stay in the present but--ENJOY it. get something out of it. and, to show my work-friends that even though i have a lot of things not in common with them--that that's cool, and we still have plenty of things we do have in common

the kindness people have shown me this year after Seeing Me and getting to know me was unreal. i don't know how to process it. (this applies to you guys on tumblr too!). so many things have happened this fall and so many things were said to me that i never, ever, EVER thought i would be able to experience. i hope this lasts and i hope i can build on this in the new year.

so yeah...this year was...something alright. i'm always an even age in an even year and the evens are never as good for me as the odds (other than like, age 14. that was a good time.) but let's hope for the best.

now, i hate new year's eve/day, so let's get this shit over with!

#originals #writing this with this wretched keyboard was a nightmare #macbook keys are just scary to remove! the last thing i need is an actually broken laptop lol