#lol i had the shock of my life

[a-shakespearean-in-paris]

10 Characters 10 Fandoms

Thanks for the tag @galadrieljones :D Here are 10 of my favorite characters from 10 fandoms.

Outlander: Claire

2. Baldur's Gate: Gale

3. Witcher : Yennefer

3.Resident Evil: Ada Wong

4. Dragon Age: Cullen

5. Assassins Creed: Ezio

6. Titanic: Rose

7. Sailor Moon: Usagi/Sailor Moon

8. Red Dead redemption: Arthur

9. Last of Us: Joel

10. Hornblower: Horatio

tagging @thevikingwoman @wintersongstress @alyssalenko @myreia @solverne-02 and anyone else!

#tagged #i had to sit and really think about the things I like lol #got into Hornblower after my titanic obsession reignited because i realized the guy that saves rose at the end looked like laurence olivier #yes i am crazy #im sure you are all just shocked to find out cullen is my favorite DA character #if we ever get DAD i doubt ill find a character that comes close #not going to lie though gale just hits #i really like men with beards #this holds true in real life #*sweats*

[andrasta14]

No wonder everyone's so miserable all the time, I think to myself as I listen to my 80s playlist. Even the cheesy power ballads are emotionally uplifting. 🎵

*gets out my prescription pad* Listen to 80s music. Recommended dosage: a minimum of 4 to 5 times daily. 🎶

(Note: can substitute with 90s music, which has been known to produce a similar effect. If still in the deepest doldrums, try 50s music for the ultimate shock treatment. Feeling dead inside? Try soul music.❣)

#I feel like death warmed over this morning and am using my 80s playlist to shock some life into myself so I can get dressed 😂 #my grandmother called last night and was like ''I'm coming over tomorrow morning'' and naturally I was internally like ''oh fuuucckkk'' #so now I've had all of 3 hours of sleep and feel like death because I had to set my alarm stupidly early to clean my apartment #ugh the stress of pretending to be a halfway functional human being T_T #but god bless the music at least lol #my random ramblings #music therapy #music #self care #mental health #A14

[tellme-o-muse]

I’ve had MANY dreams about being a cis guy but this one was by far my favourite

#The last two were horrid where I had a male body #No thanks #Do NOT want #this on was a dream about the social side of being a guy #A woman I know dropped her sons off at our house to help watch a poodle yk like a dog sit #The boys were people ik actually from my sisters theatre and my choir #And church yourh #So they all got clumped in to curly haired boys one family lol #And I was in swim team with them! #And I caused the death of half of the twelve members 😬 #Bur it was satisfying in a whump sort of way #I ran off and two of my mates chased after me because I jumped off a tree in a dive into a bog #I suevived ofc its my dream #People and the headmaster of the school was concerned 🥺 #I wasn’t unnoticed and I was grieved bexause rhey thought I was gone #There was a time skip and I came back years later for rhe reunion of the swim team #I donated to them floats and life saving devices #They were shocked and fucking tackled me practically 😂 #We walked down the halls and looked at the stupid memories of the past #I do wonder what I’d be like as a guy #Probably insufferable in a non joking way #But I suppose in another life I was a guy #But in this one I’m contwnt with what I have here #And my friends #dreams #my dreams

[jamesunderwater]

okay okay okay okay read on if you want the latest shenanigans of me and the best friend.

pls enjoy a somewhat redacted version of our texts from last night, that culminate in him being the CUTEST, he's literally becoming a marauders fan bc he's my beta for dead to me. all he's ever done is read hp in his early 20s, like a few weeks ago he couldn't remember "who the werewolf was." let me tell YOU, someone actually getting into fandom stuff for your favorite fandom just cause they love you and read your fanfiction for you?????? is?????? THE NICEST CUTEST MOST ATTRACTIVE THING EVER especially if you're autistic. okay rant over please enjoy:

Me: 1. i'm not even tired fml 2. [insert me being anxious about ppl donating for my top surgery, asking for reassurance] 3. Hi idk sorry to be texting you like literally 20 minutes after leaving you 4. i hope you're magically already asleep this is so embarrassing chuck shut uppppp Him: 1. omg i'm so sorry :/ me neither i'm eating rice cakes 2. [insert reassurance and a question abt the donations] 3. you are so fine! omg I wrote out this text and then got self conscious because I wanted to text you something meaningless like right after you left lol: [insert him telling me something silly and cute about his nighttime routine] 4. Up town for REAL Me: 1. [lala st about being in bed] 2. [lala st about donations] 3. okay i feel so much better 💖 and for the record I always love to hear from you and I want all the fun facts. [lala st about his nighttime routine] 4. Are you telling me to shut up? Him: 1. [lala] 2. [lala reassurance lala] 3. 💖!! Love to share love to hear 4. No you GOON, I meant up as in "im awake"! But I see how that came off... Me: 1. 2. 3. 4. Wow so now you want me to shut up AND you're name calling?! Didn't know you could be so cruel, Jacobson Him: 4. Ok I really read that with my last name and all in Sirius Black's voice Me: 4. You read it correctly then Him: 4. !!!!! Me: 4. b. Good to know you have a voice for Sirius Black in your head......almost like you're a marauders fan Him: 4. c. Almost like this literal spectacular novel writer has gotten my mind into having actual personal thoughts/feelings about the marauders moment...feels sinister on his part idk 4. d. (I won't deny what you're saying tho...) Me: 4. e. !!!!!!!!!! 👀👀👀 call me Dr. Frankenstein cause I've created a monster Him: For real!! ✨👹✨ Me: a marauders monster if you will

#this is so silly to be sharing but i CAN'T. EXPLAIN. THE JOY. of having someone in my REAL LIFE who fucking made a sirius black joke!!!!! #like even when i wrote that text i was sort of putting on a little sirius cheekiness to it on purpose but i never thought he'd /get it/ #he follows ONE person on his tumblr and said he went on there the other day and there was a wolfstar joke and he GOT IT #and laughed out loud at work #i was giddy literally giddy #idk guys like i haven't had a best friend irl that was in this fandom (or any fandom with me) since i was a teenager #and frankly i could cry about it #he's not even IN the fandom but he has actual thoughts and feelings about these characters that i love and it is. #just special #okay i'm done now sorry lol i will be shocked if anyone read all of this #ALSO note: i did change his last name for ~privacy reasons~ #charlie chats #swampy tag

[theygender]

Bruh I've known for years that I have visual processing issues (separate from my actual vision problems) but I never really looked into the specifics of how it works before. I know sometimes, especially when my brain is tired, I have trouble making sense of shapes and separating the foreground of images from the background. So I can see the image perfectly fine but I can't make out what it is, even if it's something that should be very obvious like a singer crouching at the edge of a stage (actual example). Those moments are a lot like auditory processing issues, where you can technically hear what someone is saying just fine but your brain can't parse it into words. And when I'm having a lot of trouble with this sort of thing, image descriptions are helpful for me. I figured that was just what visual processing disorder was right?

Well now I'm reading more about it and it turns out that there are 8 different types of visual processing skills and VPD can affect any of them. The issues I just described would fall primarily under visual foreground issues bc it stems mainly from not being able to distinguish the foreground (singer) from the background (stage and audience). But it probably also involves some visual closure issues bc I have trouble figuring out what the full shape is if part of it is cut off (like if the singer is kneeling in such a way that not all of their limbs are fully visible), as well as form constancy issues bc I have trouble recognizing familiar shapes if they're in an unexpected position/context (singer kneeling close to the audience instead of standing on stage)

Reading more about form constancy has got me really mind blown actually. I have a lot of quirks that I always just attributed to autism/ADHD. I can't find objects in plain sight, for one thing, especially if they're in a different location than normal. I can set something down on a table right out in the open and almost immediately lose it if there's other objects nearby for it to "blend into." If I'm looking for something in a cabinet or the fridge or even just on a slightly crowded counter I have to ask my gf to remind me what color it is so I can just pick out the color, bc otherwise I can look forever and not find it. Even if I make a conscious effort to check each individual item, I can look right at it multiple times and still not process that it's the object I'm looking for. I have to make it a habit to always put things back in the exact same spot bc otherwise I can't see them. The other day I went to get a new roll of toilet paper from our toiletry shelf and I thought "damn, we're almost out, I better order some more." I didn't realize until I bought a new box and went to stack it on the shelf that there was already an entire new box right there, just slightly to the left. And this isn't even "tired brain" processing, this is my everyday normal

And apparently... that's all described as symptoms of form constancy issues? Like, some of the things optometrists warn parents to watch out for when determining if their child has VPD are "difficulty finding missing items quickly even if they are in plain sight" and "difficulty recognizing objects when placed in a new location"

Another issue I have is a ridiculous inability to orient myself, know my way around familiar places, or understand where I am in relation to other places. I still have to use GPS to get to shops near my home that I've been going to for years and I have no idea what direction anything is in. My gf and I once had some fun playing a game where we stood in our living room and she asked me to point in the directions of things like "the store across the street" and "the entrance to our apartment complex" and "the mailboxes" and "the dumpster by our building" and I was unable to get any of them correct. Part of it is bc even if I DO manage to memorize my way around somewhere it's just a single-line map telling me when to turn to get from point A to point B and it falls apart if I try to come at it from any other angle, and part of it is due to an inability to judge distances (I have taken the extreme long way around on multiple occasions bc I couldn't tell that "just around the corner of that side of the building" was a shorter distance than going around the opposite side of the building, circling around the back, and then coming in from the other direction)

...Turns out that another aspect of form constancy issues is "difficulty judging distances" and "difficulty picturing objects at different angles." Aaaand during this research I happened to stumble across a site with little baby games to help young kids with visual processing issues practice to improve their form constancy skills and uh. It's kinda kicking my ass 😭

I learned some FUN things about myself tonight lads

#prosopagnosia (faceblindness) also falls in the visual processing issues category apparently which. makes sense i guess? #im just kinda shocked that all these issues might be related tbh #like i had always thought of it as three separate things: faceblindness—spatial reasoning issues—visual processing issues #with the visual processing issues being the least impactful on my life bc it only really affected my ability to discern images #and usually only acted up significantly when my brain was particularly tired #but. apparently vpd is a much wider spectrum of issues than i even realized and it may be Causing the other issues? potentially?? #idek what to do with this information tbh. it changes functionally nothing except that i can put a name to my experiences #ive already naturally worked out accomodations to make my life liveable with these challenges #like using my GPS everywhere and always putting items back in the same spot so i dont have to rely on sight to find them #and luckily i have a partner who is very patient and always willing to help me when i inevitably have trouble anyways lol #but this is definitely. some knowledge i guess #ill probably at least bring this up to my therapist but this may be outside of her wheelhouse 😅 #rambling

[lildoodlenoodle]

For 2024:

1. I want to pass all my classes

2. have the biggest drama in my life be who’s dating who and who’s talking shit about who

3. maybe have some time to do some crafts/writing/drawing every now and then

4. as a bonus get some answers for medical problems

But most importantly, this year better be fucking boring

#all I want for 2024 is TO CALM THE FUCK DOWN #9 funerals #5 of which people around my age #more than half of those drug related #ended the year with fucking kidney stones #failed several classes #managed to OD on a PERSCRIPTION MEDICATION THE NIGHT BEFORE AN EXAM #had SEVERAL sa experiences SOMEHOW #almost physically fought a twink while drunk #this is not even all of it lol #and the worst part is I’m starting the yr off with dr apps for the whole kidney stone thing + the misshapen organs and finding out if #I’m intersex or not and tbh it would not be shocking #I wish desperately my life was normal and boring

[oscill4te]

sending good vibes to mixed race folk who have a very complicated relationship w their heritage or view of themselves, ily

#mentally i call myself a racially ambiguous american #i don't really connect with the word latino idk why.. like i was raised by an immigrant parent but #oddly feel no connection with the culture at all. not out of self prejudice even. i just wasnt close w my mom idk #like sure i know some spanish and have eaten the food but i just feel no connection anymore. i used too. its weird #again i just prefer to call myself slightly brown/ambiguous American or something lol it just feels more accurate #its not self hate i just legit dont connect... i feel like an outsider and thats okay. i think it was due to how i was raised really. #my white side was shitty too but they were more involved in my life so i guess thats why despite being brown-ish #i saw myself as white for 17 yrs of my life til i had a therapist (of color) say something like #“i bet you relate since you are also of color” and i was in shock and confusion like #i told her “uh no im white i dont know what you mean” and it caused some cognitive dissonancee #so i asked a few ppl what they saw me as and it shattered my view that i looked 100% white passing #its like how ducks imprint on who raised them. my white grandma and aunt raised me so i just saw myself as white?? idk #its still a weird feeling and nowadays i dont really like identifying my race or ethnicity to ppl idk #maybe this all sounds weird i dont know #but its how i genuinely feel; unfiltered and all #again i like mexican culture a lot i just often don't feel like its “my roots” it feels more like #im appreciating someone elses culture which makes sense bc i was raised as a gringo!! yk? #its not really “my roots” it's my moms roots but not mine #altho ngl i feel kinship with first/2nd gen latinos... #i think a lot of them have similar feelings like me minus the mix race stuff #well actually many of them r probably mix race too idk i mostly meet 1st gen ppl who have 2 immigrant parents tho #and yesss i know latinos can be any race. i know i. #im just rambling incoherently

[warriorcatsunveiled]

Oakheart, Thornclaw and Tigerheart

#oakheart #thornclaw #tigerheart #riverclan #thunderclan #shadowclan #wc #warrior cats #i had this draft saved as oak tiger and PATROLGUY #I literally forgot thornclaw's name lol my bad #i will be honest i have been out of the warriors loop for a while #gonna try to just throw some more drafts and pics i have left over and its finito #Also MISTYSTAR finally kicked the bucket Im in shock #im not putting tigerheart as tigerstar listen im too old to be keeping track of so many tiger clones for one life

[freebooter4ever]

.

#Looking at my childhood art like i was a TERRIBLE artist even by child standards #No wonder my dad was so angry when i decided to try to make art work rather than get a comfy software engineering job #Like child me was DETERMINED to do this i thought it was a given there was no way i wasnt going to be an artist #Pretty much from the age of 4 when i saw beauty and the beast for the first time #But looking back at it as an adult like...i get it #I can see why my dad watched me draw these shitty weird cartoons as a kid and worried that i was going to fail miserably lol #He was partially right :/ #My art is still shit but i keep at it like...like one of those whack a moles #Or the punching bag thing that gets hit and flips right back up #Did i mention i saw my dad briefly on my way up here #He's so disappointed in me i can just see it in how he talks to me or looks at me #But for fucks sake even when i was doing EVERYTHING right and getting my computer science degree and graduating with straight A's #He STill didnt want anything to do with me so its not much of a fucking change #I did notice he asked if i had heard from jordan #And no i dont keep tabs with my brother much #But i was shocked that dad hadn't heard from him in years because last time i saw my dad 2018 ish jordan was the golden child #He was the one who was finally steering his life in the right direction and studying programming #(not at my level but he's a boy so its fine) #And getting a programming job and shit #I guess that golden child status didnt last long kind of like my own lmao #Journal shit #Anyway tldr im feeling real shitty about my art right now \o/

[fionarara]

still randomly remembering that one time i attended the creator of Minecraft's annual house party even though i've never even played that video game lmao and after getting to watch Skrillex dj in such an intimate setting (surreal), we all hung out and he had like a harem of cute girls surrounding him on the couch, haha it seemed super platonic though and he was really respectful,,, literally he was so kind to me and everyone,, by far the nicest celeb i've ever met besides elijah wood.

#the infinity pool view was truly epic tho. best i've ever seen like #i've been to my fair share of random LA hills parties whenever i'm in california where the house was fire #but this one took the cake #apparently he beat out beyonce n jay-z in getting the property or somethingn.. as i later learned by someone that evening ?/ hm random fact #also he had like a massively ginormous room *inside* his home dedicated to displaying LIFE SIZE transformers and actual cars i felt so tiny #i wish i could remember that moment better but i think the party drugs i was on kicked in right then lol #the uber ride home later was a mess though bc i was p fucked up by the end and i had to teach some guy about #consent with the girl he was with in the backseat and i got really protective of her. she was so grateful she ended up kissing me instead ! #like actuallymaking out with me and i was shocked but okay hell ya why not right? #i think the dude understood and got what i was saying in the end tho so that's dope #fuck i love teaching problematic 3D men how to think with their heart and not their cocks<3 #i honestly think i get super off on it. i've done it too many times to count #teachable non-misogyny moments FTW bling~bling! <3 #sorry this is so random i just needed somewhere to dump this thought out bc i could never to do it anywhere else in my actual life lmao #anyway hope y'all have been healthy and well <3 how's the anime world doin...? #haikyuu's comin back soon eh? and AOT too? maybe maaaybe i'll be back around then 👋 #➕ara~ara gomen ! #minecraft #video games

[soggypotatoes]

it's possible that me, already a magnet for intense people, going into a psychiatric ward on the reg, would lead to some... intense relationships

#yesterday guy i was in with before #who ive hung out with a decent amount but like. not that much #said 'i would go further and do more for you than anyone else in my life' #after i got over the shock i asked what it was about me that made him feel that way #he said its bc hes never felt understood or accepted as much as when hes with me #so im like. ok. now what do i do with that lol #i just had another guy ive only known for a couple days #...actually im gonna leave that one unfinished #but its a lot #i like him tho #ed mumbles #why do i get myself in these situations

[transmascnepetaleijon]

god. why are you guys so weird about bisexuals

#its either the flirty sexy sexually skilled heart-throb that gets all the girls and guys they want is a homewrecker and cheater #or its treated like this other flavor of gay to add ''''spiciness'' #when i tell someone im bi they look at me and go ''damn ok! lol'' and its like. god man idk #im not even talking about fandom im just talking about Life #it gets me pissed that making a bi person emotional and the such is actually a big subversion of the Bisexual Character #also back to real life with that thing: yes i have had people be actually shocked that i dont have much dating experience while being bi #theyre like '? i thought you were bi tho!' and i am. i dont need to kiss a girl and then kiss a guy to sit and be like #''hm which one to choose'' i can decided things because i want to #i used to have the idea that you *had* to be sure to choose a label but like? man #im just living now like im not even sure if i really like women im not even sure if im allo im just existing doing my thing #i dunno i hate labels i hate stereotypes i want to kill everyone and the next person to decide a character is bi just because theyre flirty #will have each one of their teeth pulled out by yours truly #txt

[cloveroctobers]

This episode was better than last but it’s still fuck Ezekiel Lorenzo Reyes atp AND time!

#Mayans mc #mayans mc s5 #mayans fx #mayans season 5 #ezekiel reyes #Ez Reyes #spoilers! #was it really a shock that it was angel’s block head ass? no #the way I had to fold my arms and shake my head when Ez stepped up to fight that fucking yeti?!! #issac got to fucking go with his whole sob story towards coco like leave the girls alone!! #ez did creeper dirty like I wanna slap his ass so bad wtf are you doing? I’m gonna take this club to heights you’ve never seen?! #more like the depths of hell because that’s where you’re going buddy #been tired of Emily so there’s nothing to comment on there you married this man and he put your sis 6ft under?! it’s time to wrap it up #Hank is so cute! despite the crookedness of the funds I’m happy he can take care of his ma I love him #Alvarez’s wife? a baddie! but his stank ass attitude makes sense just not when it’s messing with home life ofc #the quality time with his son?! made my hug myself so cute! happy Father’s Day indeed! #yeah you can tell I enjoyed this episode lol!

[im-with-nasa]

why??? did almost everyone i knew from my high school turn to some sort of extremism when we graduated??? was it the pandemic??? being chronically online??? COLLEGE??? i just wanna know omg

#rant warning in these tags bcs i am so SHOCKED #using this as a way of documenting my thoughts about this so i can look back on this and be just as shocked #literally some of them are now hard right republicans #my former best friend is STILL with this guy after YEARS AND YEARS OF HIS WEIRD RACIST BEHAVIOR??? #one is trying to transition to be a BLACK WOMAN??? this is a TRANS RACE THING #this person also dropped out of college for being an alcoholic too like YIKES OMG #my ex is now some sort of spiritual “u make ur own happiness” people that is two steps away from cult activity #if i had a penny for every time someone said this to me when i was trying to reach out for mental health help i would be a billionaire #i check up on these people for the first time in OVER A YEAR and this is what i find #lol let me use these tags as a societal analysis of life after the pandy #happy with the people i kept/let into my life now because THESE ARE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PEOPLE LMFAOO #maybe its just... over self analysis?? self-consumption?? narcissism?? that drove them to this #i know people change and all but damn there go all the happy memories with them lol #kinda the closure i needed tbh #ramblings

[nerdy-hyperfixations]

I remember when I was in a private school accidentally full of Mormons, one of the guys there (who also used dnd to pretend *r* me. That’s another story) had a big FAT crush on Mettaton. Like loved Mettaton in all entirety and shipped Mettaton with Papyrus.

And one day while discussing it, I said “oh yeah, isn’t Mettaton actually a guy? I remember when I learned that I couldn’t believe it.” And he responded “what? No? He’s not a guy right?” And I told him to look it up because I’m pretty sure he’s actually a guy

He never talked about Mettaton ever again and seemingly stopped crushing and shipping Papyrus with them- lol single handedly ruined this guys experience with Undertale probably.

#undertale #mettaton #personal post #I may or may not expand on that dnd experience later #idk #it was my first dnd game too which sucks #straight up got violated #funny story I actually also had a bully in that school that was half my hight that probably almost murdered me #one day when we had a group project he got up from his seat and just straight up choked me #and I was so shocked I just sat there silent and still #mostly confused #i think that’s what saved me lol #because after a couple seconds of them squeezing the life outta me they just stopped and sat down #and we both acted like nothing happened #and I didn’t tell anyone for 2 years because I didn’t really have the thought that I should #I just got choked said that was weird and then got back to work like it was the most normal thing to have happened

[tariah23]

Whenever I go into and tag for a naruto character I like/ care about even if they’re shit, I will see ppl defend them while completely excusing their crimes and I’d just be like “Uh... Yes, they are sexy but you sound crazy rn. You know they are fucked up you know this-“ in my head.

#I just call it #konoha brainrot #rambling #itachi lol #I don’t think I’ve ever defended his ass he’s my bitch but why would I defend him he’s so fucked up 🗣 #I only have Itachi bias because of being into naruto since I was like 10 or whatever but it’s always crazy to see ppl say that what he did #was right and stuff like even little me was like ‘…goddamn nigga-‘ #and the whole thing with the will of fire or whatever tf #it sucks so bad that he was groomed and traumatized by the war by why did Kishimoto use the only person who’d sasuke had ever felt such a #huge connection with (before naruto) to do so much damage to him like I get that it was supposed to be so shocking and fucked up but it #makes me feel so sad whenever I think back on how loving he was to sasuke and how much sasuke adored him when they were younger…. #Kishimoto’s so stupid lol #I don’t think I’ve ever defended Konoha in my whole life like i actually remember orochimaru fucking up the village the first time and #going ‘anyway. I want to see some ninjutsu 🤷🏾‍♀️! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT-!’ #and it’s not because I didn’t get the gravity of the situation #I just don’t remember feeling connected to the village I just liked the cool headbands story and characters #I can’t even defend kakashi like that but he isn’t the worst #it’s just that sm fans act like he’s so wise and has all the answers when he really doesn’t #like he’s smart and reliable but when it comes to actually dealing with things on a more mental level #he definitely isn’t the one to console anyone because it’s hard #like grooming kids and having them grow up into the system to become killers and spares for their villages was just so normal #and it’s not like these same kids who grow up into adults will be simply normal either like theyre all fucked up #that’s why you got prodigies becoming Anbu and jounin at baby ages already entering the adult world like it’s crazy to me #sorry for talking about naruto #omg that was my other naruto tag lmfm