#love my little creacher dude

[kojidesu]

my bf sends me pictures of any cool creatures he sees whilst hes out. today, he saw a lil grasshopper on his way to work.

look at this lil guy!!!!

#grasshopper #or a little bug #bug #creacher #a little creacher #a lil dude #a lil guy #small #love him #i love my bf

[arrogantmrcnry]

pretty bastard and his taco bell mild sauce packets

#dr melvin julioooooo #catbloggin #baby bastard stink doctor man supremo #god he's so pretty i love this dumb little creacher so much #he's just a dude that lives in my goddamn house #tuxedo cat #fancy pantsy beefaroni melmer

[ectochoir]

DID YOU KNOW:

there is a birb that looks like a dragon. I love these little babies

Oh my GOD?? Look at that little dude! What a little creacher!

[simplepotatofarmer]

loyal's tier list of c!dream designs:

1.) Just A Guy C!Dream: bonus points for freckles, scraggly hair, and various injuries from the torture. i love when he looks like the sort of dude you'd see at a gas station in the south at two a.m. except instead of a college football hat and a can of skoal it's his mask and a golden apple.

2.) Rabbit/Hare C!Dream: wild hare that has seen god and stared them down only to find god wanting or domestic rabbit that chews wires just to feel something, doesn't matter. give him big ears and a fluffy tail and powerful legs and a thousand yard stare and he's perfect to me.

3.) Axolotl C!Dream: he's just a little creacher he cannot help it. he should be in water but he walks towards lava anyway. is that smile a mask or is that just how his face is? no one knows. he can regrow limbs and sometimes c!techno goes 'i thought somethin' smelled a little fishy' and dream goes 'oh my GOD'.

4.) Orb: if you slap his head he makes that same noise those red rubber balls in gym class did when you thwipped them against the wall.

#putting this in a separate post because i can #loyal talks about stuff and things #dsmp headcanon #dreamwastaken #c!dream #dreblr

[rhinco]

TOP 5 SHARKS (❍ᴥ❍ʋ)

🌼 plus a little flower because you're lovely!

WHEEEE

flower for you too :D 🌷

(in no particular order)

whaleshark!! classic, my old fave :)) the first one of these discovered was actually off the coast of south africa which is pretty rad!! these big guys are filter feeders, and the largest fish ^-^

2. thresher sharks! these guys are so cool.. their tails grow as long as their bodies and they use them as a whip to stun prey and catch them easier

3. chain catsharks aka glow in the dark sharks !! these little dudes are bioluminescent and so pretty :))

4. okay prehistoric shark moment. helicoprion. bc i love these motherfuckers. look at this shit. there's several different theories as to exactly where and how this spiral tooth functioned but either way i just think it's metal as fuck that evolution decided to give a species a fucking SPIRAL JAW.

5. hmgmfk okay you know what gonna go with great whites. they get a bad rep but they're actually so cool and they deserve so much better. they also actually have never successfully been kept in captivity, with all attempts dying after i think less than a year. while it is true that great whites are one of the few species known to attack humans, its very exaggerated and hollywood has sensationalised great white sharks in particular to be much worse than they are. they're wild animals, and should be treated as such! they can be dangerous and we need to be wary of that but ultimately they are just creachers

#ask tag / sal #sharkposting #this was fun thank you :D

[truckfreaks]

One thing about me is I love about having a backyard that just spills into the woods on account of all the creachers. I get so many creachers. So many little guys and dudes. They are all very good, and they all come visit me in the morning to say hello. When I am sitting in my yard and the Creachers venture out from the trees and the grasses and the bushes to say "what's going on over here", me? I Love that shit.

[jeglly-bean]

am i asking too much for you to imagine trickster mode persona

You unlocked a fucking core memory dude cus I used to be obsessed w/ the trickster virus in middle school. Me and my best buddy made like 5 different trickster infection au rps for fandoms we were in.

I don't remember it well, but I know for sure joker was cinnamon coffee and I'm p sure Ryuji was lemon soda but I think making him Ramen would fit more. They don't all have to be sweet.

I feel Ann would be crepes, Yusuke would be jagariko (he's always nibbling on it in the hideout), Haru would be a flowery tea and Mona would probs be sushi or smthn. Side note about general themes, but thinking about it more, I would love a trickster!yusuke with paint splatter motifs in his design and trickster!haru with flowery motifs.

Futaba? Mountain dew. She's a greasy little goblin creacher who plays league for three days straight then passes out cold for a subsequent week. Change my mind.

I don't really know for Makoto, but I feel like some kind of bread would fit? Like one of those french braid buns or smthn.

Pancakes for Akechi. I love to bully him.

Sumi would be either onigiri or candy apple, mostly because I wanna give her a poison apple design motif and candy apple red is one of only two shades of red I actually like.

#milky talks #persona 5 #trickster virus #gooood fuck now i wanna draw trickster infection aus again #how dare you

[taffy-glitch]

CPUK for the blorbo post…👁

Ivy. My friend. My bestie. Thank you for giving me the chance to talk about the funny smash cpus

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most)

This one is probably obvious. but. Hackerman J0hn. Love that funny cyborg :) I hope he is doing ok despite the fact that [REDACTED FOR SPOILERS]

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped)

Hmmm. CPUK has some good Creachers in it. I think I'll have to go with Machiavelli :) they're just a little friend

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave)

Listen. we all have our favorite spiraltiers in this fandom. I wouldn't say anyone is especially underappreciated. But y'know what. I don't think we talk about Pizza Party enough (and it's NOT just because I'm a Team Cones stan I swear). Dude just wants to have a pizza party :)

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week)

Not that obscure because I know a few other people really love her, but Elphabuff showed up ONCE in cpuk4 and we never heard from her again and I miss her. She's the only woman on Team Clutch as far as we know and she is GYM BUDDIES WITH THE GRUNK I think we deserve to see her again

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave)

Regrettably. I am not immune to liking Peppermint. She is fun to draw and make theories for. And I want to put her in a pringles can and shake her around.

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason)

I'm blanking on a character for this I'm gonna be honest. Doctor Order??

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell)

Doctor Order is ALREADY THERE. Also Prism should be sent to eeby deeby too. Also Mozilla. But those are the easy answers sdfkdfj

#cpuk #ivy i owe u my life #jort post

[leatherbookmarking]

fuck that ! im gonna talk about them deadboyz!! shame is for the WEAK

overall:

belong to a much less known subsidiary company of jinhit no jgs isn’t worth the joke entertainment. if they were in any other company they would be super rookies but jgs is keeping them in the basement and it’s not even his own basement

initially i think there were some high stakes in it for jgy...? something like ‘you produce the songs and make their chores and if you flop you’ll never be on stage again’ but?? i don’t know now tbh

would have been really popular (they are Good) but less known company, etc, and also some rumors around the time of their debut made it so they’re only knows because ‘they’re kinda good at dancing aren’t they’

general concept is uh... cool dudes, kinda fucky but not too much...? gotta think about the baby (a-yu)

THE MEMBERS: meng yao (leader, main dancer, vocalist), wen chao (oldest, main rapper), su she (main vocal, dancer), xue yang (rapper, dancer, unofficially: moodmaker, if by ‘mood’ you understand ‘horror at whatever has just come out of his hellish mouth), wen ning (dancer, vocalist, sometimes rapper), mo xuanyu (vocalist, the Baby™)

MENG YAO:

leader, single-handedly responsible for making these rowdy boys (wc&xy) stop wanting to kill each other

has probably auditioned for every single company there is. was in the nie company for a bit, but it was still a mess freshly after the previous owner, nmj’s father, has died, nmj has struggled (being a producer, not a businessman) so when it turned out they’d have to let some trainees go, the other trainees made it so meng yao was the one to leave. then he temporarily was at wrh’s company where he got kind-of-semi-famous as one of wen qing’s main back dancers (the one she’s interacted with the most) during her last performance. then the company went kaputt and jgs has snatched him off for himself, and then... put him... in the basement.... for two years... after which he gave him a chance, and voila

insanely hard-working. an all-rounder. mainly he excels at dancing, but his vocal and rap skills also Fuck. persona? impeccable. he’s learning to write and compose his own songs and he’s doing well, but he can’t even upload his stuff on soundcloud, because... you know why. has doubled as a manager in their early days. also, dimples.

the fans had tried to make a dad/mom dynamic with him and uh... wen chao...? since they were the oldest and pretty much the opposites, but quickly gave up and he’s now simply known as yao-ge due to his stern but loving persona. (yao-jie, sometimes)

DOES do the split. it was his rookie trick for a year after they debuted, but he simply is just like that. one show host asked him “is there definite proof that you have bones?“ and meng yao only shrugged humbly

WEN CHAO

oldest, has been a trainee for the longest time, hasn’t debuted because... well... he wasn’t good... and that was because he’s felt too safe in his dad’s company. WELL ABOUT THAT,

his older brother wen xu has debuted Long before him, but after a few years his group disbanded, he moved on to modeling and then stopped after a couple of years, too. (he got married.)

you know how i said their image is ‘cool, a bit fucky’? well, he’s 40% of that fuckiness. he’s been told again and again that idols aren’t supposed to date/have dating experience, but he still can’t get the hang of it

yes, he and jiaojiao were an item back in the wen days. she’s a trainee at some other company now but they still hook up sometimes

initially was intent on maintaining a cool, calm and collected image... then he met xue yang and threw that idea outta the window. paradoxically, they’re interesting together, not only as rappers but also as... high-energy, chaotic energy makers of the group...

this is a happy au, so: initially he’s thought everything is bullshit, these talentless fucks are dumb and he should already be a top idol. by the time of their debut, he agrees that meng yao is one crafty motherfucker. a year after their debut, if anything happened to any of his boys, yes even xue yang, he would kill everyone in the room, etc, etc BUT YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO KNOW ABOUT THAT.

SU SHE

unfortunately, was added before their first comeback (second release) and therefore controversial. fortunately, his vocal completes the group’s image and musical flavour

was a trainee in yinshen ent where he really admired their top idol, lan wangji, until... he got to know him (?) when they were sent to compete in a survival show and decided lan wangji ain’t shit and is, in fact, a stuck-up self-centered bitch. the survival show crashed (unrelatedly), but still some serious words were exchanged. during Some Company Problems, quite a lot of trainees have left, but he was the one who left with a Bang.

joined that one subsidiary of jin ent because of meng yao, who, just like in canon, recognized him, said he loved him in (song he’s performed in the survival show) and with this he cemented his position as su she’s new Boy Who Makes Him Go !!!!.

slowly replaced meng yao as The Man Who Does This Face at the other lads’ rowdy behaviour.

fans remember he was :/ at lan wangji, so his persona wouldn’t work anyway, but he does make quite a convincing kind dude-next-door.

stubborn side of the fandom’s next candidate for the mom member, because... he’s ridiculously prepared and reliable. who carries hydrogen peroxide in their daily use backpack? this boy !

it used to be rubbing alcohol but i had too many reasons to apply it internally, he once says mournfully, and this is how xue yang discovers he has a sense of humor, sort of

unfortunately, has the juiciest ass in the group. unfortunately, because

XUE YANG

responsible for: being inappropriate. the other 60% of fuckiness, really enjoys getting into wen chao’s personal space (since wen chao is That straight dude) and just... doing whatever to make su she Scandalized.

but he’s so cute we’ll forgive him. at least until the next time he does a surprise butt grab

very agile! dance line along with meng yao and wen ning. apparently he was a stunt guy...? apparently the lived in the streets...? apparently he went to the same dance school as meng yao...? no one knows his past. no one has seen his kid photos. did he go by another name...? insert the what are birds gif but make it who is xue yang.

adds sound effects to real life. also in his raps, sometimes

started hugging and initiating physical contact with people to assert dominance to be annoying, but ended up actually liking it, even though the one he does it comfortably with is meng yao. just like... back hugs? resting his chin over a-yao’s shoulder? it’s neat. sometimes a-yao pats his hand or taps his nose absent-mindedly and it’s super neat. if he notices you noticing it, though, he will BITE

most popular member, but everyone likes him for different reasons and has a different uhhh headcanon about potentially dating him. bad boy xue yang/cute bratty didi xue yang/sweet boyfriend xue yang, etc, etc

no one knows how, but apparently he knows the iconic duo from a small company, xiao xingchen and song lan...? or rather, song lan pretends not to know or notice him, meanwhile xiao xingchen is very cute when they’re interacting, and basically it prompts a lot of dating rumors, especially since they’ve been spotted having hotpot.

WEN NING

su she was the one to join last, but actually it’s wen ning who’s the least popular member. i’m just so quiet that people don’t notice me, haha, he says while being 180cm tall and having killer charisma when he dances

seriously, what’s up with that? it’s almost like he’s a different person, a possessed one to add to that. huh!

in contrast, his voice is very gentle and even cute, and he often sings quietly to himself. sometimes to other members (there’s a video of him singing what seems to be a lullaby to mxy), sometimes to little animals (there’s a video of him singing to a tiny frog he’s found during a walk). gentle boyfriend wen ning but it’s CANON

in contrast to the contrast, he doesn’t rap often, but when he does, it’s like... who’s that?? another member??? dualism king

when wc/xy cause problems on purpose, he doesn’t react/allows them to tease him/slap his ass/bump into him when they’re fighting. he seems like a calm, gentle guy so when they’re in a variety show and it’s Time For A Punishment, of course he gets to decide/wield the squeaky hammer, WHEREUPON ‘yang-ge, three weeks ago you ate my yoghurt even though i specifically asked you not to, so...’ (whacks xy’s ass into next tuesday)

nice, sculpted shoulders make for very good pillows

MO XUANYU

a Baby, but watch out: a horny one. fully on board with xue yang’s Inappropriate Ideas Of Entertainment. there’s a video of them doing some Rather Dirty dance moves while meng yao and su she make pained faces in the bg

fashion king. make-up king. none of his selfies are bare-faced, he always has some red eye shadow/blue eyelashes/yellow blush/black lipstick going on. sometimes even at the same time. paints his nails and toenails as well. somehow yao-gege doing his make-up makes him fall asleep one minute in. (cute)

his sincere smile is a 100% foolproof way to just... melt everyone’s hearts. in wen ning’s case: with a smile as well. meng yao and su she: an eyeroll (fond). xue yang and wen chao: ‘oh, fuck you’. but it DOES

most of the time though when he does sajiao it’s totally weird. (on purpose, on purpose)

tiny boy. skinny boy. once he turned to the side and vanished. even though most of the time in videos the other members sooner or later end up giving him food! (at some point wen chao says ‘it’s so that you’d shut up’, causing a-yu to start talking animatedly, spitting crumbs into his tea. serves him right)

has a potential to end up as a vocal god. currently however his favourite method of doing things with his voice is SCREAM

famously examines what things are by putting them in his mouth/licking them. he is a little creacher. he cannot change this

bites

#shut up shrimp #ye..lls......... #some other time i'll have to write about what the other dudes are doing in this au #idol au

[eijiroukiriot]

two actor au posts in 2 days? crazy i know but now that i’ve thought abt a whole cast of actors i’m kinda attached to this au please look at these kids i love them

full transcription under the cut bc this pen does NOT do my handwriting any favors

eijirou: a theater actor in his 1st TV role. easygoing; only gets argumentative around katsuki

katsuki: actor since childhood. motivated & testy, w/ a big mouth, but likes to have fun (jokester >:3c) (yes he’s wearing a shirt of the i Amn just...a little creacher tweet)

ochako: former disney channel kid w a music carreer. media darling. gym rat. 

denki: has been typecasted as the dumb guy for 10 years. trying to break into stand-up comedy. 

(katsuki and ochako) childhood friends! 

ochako (reading a teen magazine): you’d think they’d get tired of trying to prove we’re dating

katsuki: that’s the 3rd dating rumor this month 

mina: newbie hollywood it girl. instagram baddie. less of a dumbass, more like “smart & capable but gets stressed out easily and goes to party to destress” (fun fact based on a pretty girl from one of my classes lol) 

shouto: child model, new actor. a “my pace” sort of dude (as in, weird) 

tenya: recently debuted as a dramatic actor. iida was written just for him. kind of a charmer. 

izuku: hollywood’s #1 go-to child actor. nerdy, but hard working and self assured. the whole show was written w him as the protagonist in mind. 

#bnha #actor au #my art #kirishima eijirou #bakugou katsuki #uraraka ochako #and others! too many to tag #i really am attached to this au and i think it's because i LOVE coming up w characters #and messing around w character vs irl selves for the cast is fun #the part im the most attached to already is grown-up disney channel(ish- like not actually disney channel but that kind of thing) actor squa #d katsuki ochako and denki #with katsuki always playing like the 'yeah thats me i bet you're wondering how i got here' protag guy and ochako as the girl #and denki as the best friend who's stupid and messes things up #izuku wasn't in disney gang but he and katsuki had acted in daddy day care-ish movies together #so they go back too #which is why every time they finish a scene where bkg screams at deku they're immediately able to be like 'whoa that was a big one' #eijirou doesn't show it but he's freaked out about being on set w all these people he's been watching on tv since forever #so he mina and shouto become friends pretty quick #shouto's always been in the public eye but he's new to acting and is still learning the ropes #and mina's a huge hot topic rn but she's also kinda worried she only got the role because of that star power #the 3 of them are close #anyway i'll keep thinking abt this stuff and make other actual posts at some point but please look at my kids #i love them #thoughts

[shiftperception]

Speaking of cartoons I used to watch that have a connection to Ben 10, let me introduce you to one of my favorite Ben 10 aliens.

He’s green (sort of), he has sound powers, he has headphones that are part of his body.

He’s a little creacher with a simple design I can easily add to my notebook doodles. What’s not to love about this little dude?

#he’d make a good blog mascot but i already have one #maybe i’ll draw him meeting lucibulb. they can bond over sound waves and neon green aesthetics #ben 10 #echo echo

[lichenheart]

*chanting* scourge scourge scourge scourge scourge scou

Here’s my scourge headcanon! >:3 a funky punk!! and dude since i love ur scene scourge so much on @scourge-sympathiser i wanted to draw him too!!!! YEEHAW!!!!! just a little creacher

request a warrior cat drawing/design!

#scourge #scene scourge #punk scourge #warrior cats #warrior cat designs #warriors #eye strain / #lichenheart designs #rat-meat #scourge-sympathiser #rat meat

[wamiandayne]

bandstand tour: the post

DONNY SMOKES

donny - zack? zach? - was so BOUNCY like not personality wise but movement wise like that bitch was alwayz moving and goijg Up and Down and it was so cute

everyone treated donny like a kid it waz... hilarious

large man: walks on stage. donny: exists. large man: Its Hug Time

(davy and one of the club owners hugged him SO MUCH)

idk if corey cott did it bc i didnt pay that much attention to bootlegs but This donny acted like he spent a LOT of time around a drummer

(i.e. - when you hang out with a drummer, you start to drum on things. a lot.)

does donny nova dress like a lesbian or do lesbians dress like donny nova top ten questions science still cant answer

i got a lot to say abt donny i LOVED him

yknow who i also love? june adams

if anyone dares to sleep on her i will shoot u

THE SOLDIERS FOLLOWING THE BAND AND HAUNTING THEM IS..... OHMYGOD

T H E L I G H T S

i could easily write a love letter to every ensemble member but this one dude in particular fucking popped off bro i dont know ur name and i PROMISE i will check tomorrow but i love you

T H E. L I G H T S. its STUPID how good they were i OHHHAHSBWBABD

the stage at the plave i went is really small so woman in very tall high heels almost fell and all the people who slide across the stage almost fell it was scary every time

WHEN THEY WERE IN NEW YORK DURING THE VERSE ABT CELEBRITES THE BAND WAZ BEYOND LIKE A ROPE LINE SO THEY COULDNT TOUCH THE CELEBRITIES WALKING THE RED CARPET BUT GOD DID JIMMY FUCKING TRY

davys actor was SO spot on i LOVE him ik SORRY im too lazy to fijd the playbill

and now for the parts i ... like a little less:

nick and wayne's actors both seem.... hella young

like a lil inexperienced young

nick had 1 emotion and it never fit except for 1 scene

actually it was mostly nicks actor

bro i know itz super early in the tour but i LOVE everyone anyways its okay

julia's voice wAS SO HIGH??? LIKE SOMETIMES PAINFUL LEVEL

they were all moving really fast, like blowing through lines, and like... they even skipped some lines that were in the broadway show or in a few cases completely bypassing parts of a song (donnys little interlude at the end of just like it was before when hes like "thats what they Tell Me-")

bx everyone was going so fast and jonny was gping So Slow it was more annoying than like.... understandable but its okay bc his actor was SO iconic (now im back to adoring all parts of this show)

also i just love johnny

his first outfit? oh my god....

ALSO MOST OF THE OUTFITS STAYED THE SAME!! IT WAS SO SEXY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

donny was very Extra but at the panic attack before right this way 1. ouchie he really THREW himself to the ground 2. he got up............. really quick comparsd to corey

DONNY TELLING JULIA ABOUT MICHAELS DEATH HURT A WHOLE LOT BUT I DIDNT CRY HAHA

(i cried during this is life reprise)

the mics were really sus the whole show like in the beginning it wouldnt catch donny's belts and by the end johnnys drums were so Fucking loud and julias voice was Louder Than All and you couldnt hear ANYTHING else

nicks actor.... ohhh my god.... his TRUMPET SKILLS ARE INSANE

the good old Bass Toss was significantly more restrained than broadway

yall know how corey's donny was simply Unhinged?

this one was not.

he was.... impish?? like he was a bastard and he was fully aware of it

he is like the cat that eats all of your bagels and has the fucking audacity to.leave the remains dead center in your room like he had the energy of little my from snufkin he really was just a little creacher

there was a lot of little iconic moments i cant remember

IN THE CHOREOGRAPHY TO SOME SONG AN ENSEMBLE MEMBER PROPOSED TO ANOTHER ONE IT WAZ SO CUTE

there was like 2 different groups of girls who flirted with each other

DAVY AND JOHNNY WERE SO! WHOLESOME!

i love wayne. and his actor. i love them.

bandstand RSALLY hits different live yoj guys itz... it hits DIFFERENT

EVERYTIME THE DRUMS CAME BACK WHEN DONNY HAD A FLASHBACK WAS LIKE MWAH

• ibflinched at the gun shot b4 right this way thats Surround Soumd

im so sleepu so this is it for now mwah

#bandstand #bandstand tour #maybr expect an audio boot ;) #i filmed one but idk the quality #teetg

[helisol]

ye s, well

it basically came to me like a prophet receiving a vision from an angry god. you know. like brian david gilberts video ideas but with more slow burn.

no really i wrote all this down in my phone’s note app because some nearly coherent things popped up in my head every time i was on the train or bus these last few days.

(after-actually-writing-this disclaimer/note: this is 2000 words of slightly edited rambling about Bagginshield in the Afterlife. i had to put it in a read more.)

so the gist of it

the botfa goes just as in the movie with minor details altered. like bilbo kissing thorin just before he dies which inadvertently causes a ripple in time and space that makes the valar curious of them both. you know. minor stuff.

so bilbo goes back to the shire, the war of the ring goes down, and the hobbit/elf gang sails to valinor at the end. classic stuff, not much alternating of universes here.

but here’s where things turn into the “my city now” meme because DUDE DO I HAVE A LOT OF THOUGHTS ABOUT VALINOR AND HOW THE AFTERLIFE WORKS

like, I’m sorry mister jolkien rolkien tolkien, but just putting people into a hall to await being judged like a hospital waiting room? snooze, that’s boring!

so first of all, and you can fight me on this, Yavanna Made The Hobbits And You Can’t Change My Mind.

it just makes sense for her to have been very saddened by the destruction of literally all her work on arda through melkor’s poison, so she made living, growing things that could protect themselves from harm. as opposed to the ents, by the way, which were made by Eru to protect all the other living, growing things. it was a nice gesture of Eru to make those, but not quite what Yavanna wanted or had in mind, i imagine.

as with the dwarves, Eru wasn’t all happy about the existence of another race he didn’t make but you know, whatever, ‘I’ll just let this married couple have their own kids aside from mine, it’s okay’.

so he hands both the dwarves and the hobbits independent thought and free will, but under the condition (and here is where the afterlife stuff comes into play) that Aule and Yavanna be responsible for their mortal creations after their death. meaning that both races have seperate afterlives from the halls of mandos, MEANING THAT ITS COMPLETELY FINE FOR AULE AND YAVANNA TO BE LIKE “oh look honey, these two are so very in love and remind me of us, shan’t we do something about that?”

so. they do something about that. more precisely, they rearrange their afterlife-realms so they’re next to each other and someone with enough willpower could cross through the barrier. because listen, they’re valar, they can do whatever they want just for kicks.

okay so after that tangent lets get back to the meat of the matter: gay dwarves. I know not everyone has read Sansukh, a 500k word mammoth of a fic, and I don’t really intend to copy any of det’s canon, but their version of The Halls of Mahal really inspired me. basically the dwarven afterlife is one big hunk of a mountain/underground city where they’re free to live their days until dagor dagorath doing what they do best in the company of their families and friends; like smithing, crafting, building and other JustDwarrowThings.

meanwhile the hobbit afterlife is Basically The Shire and instead of being given the materials to build things, all the hobbits who go there get to grow plants and do their gardening. they don’t have to- just like none of the dwarves have to craft stuff- since there’s always enough food for everyone, but they are just allowed to do what they do best if they so desire.

now when Bilbo arrived in the undying lands he was still Old As Hell and im sorry to put it this way, he definitely kicked the can after like, a week of living there. not really so undying, them lands, huh. anyway Bilbo bites the dust and LOOK AT THAT he’s suddenly young again, and another LOOK AT THAT he’s standing in a very comfy, but Not Quite Bag End hobbit hole that has a note hung up on the front door. you wouldn’t think gods could have handwriting but hey, again, they’re gods they can do whatever. the note just tells him that yavannah made this place special and just for Bilbo but that there’s another home waiting for him. very cryptic there, lady. he doesn’t leave at first because hey, his family is here. there’s a lot of reunions and celebrating and food because its the fucking hobbit afterlife, what else would you expect

it takes him a few days of Regular Hobbit Life in his new home to realise ‘holy shit, this is so boring’ so what does a Fool of a Took do when things get boring and there’s a note urging him to do something?

HE’S GOING ON AN ADVENTURE

so Bilbo runs through the whole not-shire, meeting all sorts of people he outlived on the way (looking at you, Lobelia), as well as some elves. because elves can definitely just waltz through all the afterlives. they can walk on top of snow, you think they wouldn’t walk around wherever they please in valinor? rip to mankind, but they’re different.

he gets to the furthest reaches of it eventually, and lo and behold, what awaits him but the view of a tall mountain, an invisible barrier and a very flustered Thorin who is at his wits end as to how Bilbo even got here.

now for thorin’s part of the story we’ll have to start after the botfa again. he basically woke up in the darkness like an episode of naked and afraid, and started talking to Aule. his maker, who loves him to bits by the way since he made thorin, just tells him he’s free to go wherever his heart takes him. again with the cryptic messages from the gods.

so thorin, still very self-loathing and bitter because of his actions right before his death, sees this as Mahal’s way of saying ‘please don’t step foot in my halls u disgusting litle creacher’, when really he just meant ‘please do some well deserved self reflecting and then come inside to be with your family, they all miss you terribly’.

after his chat with the maker thorin just spawns in right at the front gate of the mountain and he has a choice to make. go inside or stay outside. and we all know Thorin’s proclivity for drama so he basically spends LITERAL YEARS just living in self imposed solitary confinement.

oh also tiny hc here, thorin was said to have taken “any work offered to him in the towns of men”, and they showed him in a smithy, but personally I believe they meant it when they said “any kind of work”. so basically thorin is a jack of all trades, master of some. he definitely has master-level skills in certain areas though, enough to build a vaguely hobbit-hole shaped house. why is it hobbit hole shaped?

oh right, the part where Thorin is absolutely enamoured with Bilbo.

"Go back to your books and your armchair, plant your trees, watch them grow. If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.”- HELLO? GAY POLICE? I’D LIKE TO REPORT A CASE OF ‘DWARF KING REALISING THAT THE HOBBIT WAY OF LIVING IS A REALLY GREAT ONE IN CONCEPT / WISHING HE COULD HAVE HAD THAT KIND OF LIFE WITH BILBO’

anyway it’s a long 80 years until Thorin does get to meet Bilbo again, and in the meantime we have one of my favorite additions to any Hobbit fanfic ever: Frerin

For the uninitiated, Frerin is Thorin’s brother. They also have a sister, Dís, but Tolkien never specified when she died and she was a bit younger than Thorin and Frerin so I reckon she’d still be alive as an old dwarf lady somewhere?

Anyway, Frerin. Oh boy. Sansukh, again, does an excellent job at turning Frerin into a character with a level of authenticity that gets real fucking close to Genuine Tolkien™, so most of my own characterisation of Frerin is based on that in Sansukh. With the important omission of the dwarves not being able to see the present/their still alive loved ones in middle earth through a magic mirror pool.

so Frerin takes it upon himself to leave the mountain in search of his brother because he really does want him back. but also because Mahal has had it with Thorin’s antics and suggests Frerin fetch him so he can finally reunite with his family. Mahal doesn’t talk to the dwarves a lot because he’s like an awkward and distant dad, but he does actually speak to them.

so Thorin is supposed to go see his family, which he does, but not immediately. it takes like, a solid year of just brotherly (and sister-sonly) companionship for him to open up about all his anxieties and regrets and THEN he goes into the mountain to cry in his mother’s lap. as you do.

however Thorin still feels like he doesn’t 100% belong with the other dwarves in there, so he frequently spends long stretches of time outside, building away at his house, thinking about Bilbo. the company goes out to visit him sometimes.

more details on the house tho, cuz it’s Important; it’s built halfway into a hill near the mountain, like a proper hobbit hole would be, but the lower levels are built into stone. look, he’s had 80 years to work on constructing this. it’s near perfect in every way for both hobbit and dwarf standards and could definitely fit the entire company and more inside.

now about the barrier. elves can pass through without a second thought because they’re shiny little bastards who just get to do all the cool stuff, but the other races can’t just hop between realms like that; they really have to muster up the willpower. which usually means they can’t do it because a drawback for both dwarves and hobbits is that they favor isolation from other races even in death, and as such don’t want to mingle with each other.

unless you’re Bilbo Badass Baggins though, who simply runs through the barrier to yell at Thorin for leaving him sad and alone for 80 years. he is that bitch.

there’s gonna be some legolas and gimli shenanigans if i can fit them in (cuz i dont know when exactly they sailed west together), possibly a mention of tauriel because bruh peter jackson did us dirty by not giving her any closure besides ‘lol i guess she’s banished from mirkwood??’ and Mairon. because. I also have some thoughts about him.

also Fili and Kili as pseudo matchmakers because every fic needs that

and did I mention there’s gonna be hozier lyrics for chapter titles

i said this was the gist of it but i somehow ended up at ~1900 words. well, more power to me.

#bagginshield #the hobbit #bagginshield afterlife au #this is the most coherent plot summary I've ever done for a fic so please enjoy the trash #also it's my sleepover and I get to pick which parts of canon i'll adhere by

[clannfearrunt]

I just saw your mention of onsessing about Nirn microbiology and can I just say that shit is most assuredly my jam and if you ever wanna yell about it at someone, please hit me up. Discord or anywhere.

I tried to gather some thoughts about this bc frankly I don’t have as much as I’d like (my irl microbiology knowledge is not Very Much), but. It initially started like a year or two ago when I was explaining TES Stuff to a non-TES friend and he asked me if Nirn had microbes, and if not how did things like breadmaking and decomposition worked. That time I was like “oh hmm.” and didn’t think on it further but.

A few months ago I was looking at the list of diseases that have shown up in the series and couldn’t help but think about. Typhoid fever. Rabies. Cholera. My first instinct in how to seamlessly incorporate things like bacteria and viruses in the context of disease was something along the veins of “tiny little Creachers that enter the body and give you little curses”. At some point I apparently looked up what other folks had to say about it and evidently I found some frustrating threads by pretentious reddit lore nerds

GOD oh yeah there was a dude going “well, seeing how you can find unspoiled food sitting in ancient ruins, obviously nothing decays, which means bacteria responsible for decomposition don’t exist” LIKE COMPLETELY FORGETTING ABOUT NAMIRA DAEDRIC THE LADY OF DECAY by taking game mechanics too seriously. I think there were some other comments along the veins of “well the fantasy men’s knowledge is probably around the levels of the humors and miasma so that obviously means bacteria don’t exist” which is just so... Bro I don’t think the fantasy men know what the little creachers causing their ailments are either, we didn’t always know about them either but that doesn’t mean they spontaneously came into being when the microscope was invented...

Anyways I’m completely on the train of “microscopic Crechers in the veins of bacteria, viruses, and fungi exist on Nirn and cause similar effects as their real life counterparts, even if the details of their existence aren’t exactly like their irl counterparts”. I think treating fungi (nevermind that things like mushrooms obviously already exist) and some things that would be bacteria as a mundane/normal organism occurring on Nirn, and more serious disease causing things that would be bacteria/viruses on our world as Perhaps slightly more magical in origin, maybe even in some cases tied directly to Peryite’s influence (bc let him have literally anything :’) ) I would love to have more detailed thoughts some day but as of right now this is a topic I Know will get me into some kind of rabbithole if I let myself start on it so... sweats

#this is a long post rambling about not much at all sorry to disappoint :pensive: #Zaan Do Kel #kk-maker

[radioactive-mouse]

the best Naramis Things™

-ofc these idiots share like,, half a brain cell but when you put them together once in a blue moon they become actually competent??

-like we all know mista’s a big goober but sometimes he just loves his boyfriend so hard that we get sparks of him being like.. actually functional. that one moment where nara’s gone Moldy and mista drops absolutely everything to get him off the boat and actually Succeeds??? hello mista?? i hate to say it but your Straight Boy Image has suffered permanent damages

-i like to think mista tries to be subtle (rarely succeeds) but nara is just,, Out There. nara loves his boyfriend very much and if anyone has a problem he’s got a knife on him so??

-Mista Carry He Tiny Boyf

-NARANCIA CARRY HE TALL BOYF

-narancia loves sex pistols.. so much... he’s just like “hell yea you go you funky little dudes” and they constantly bug him for food when mista won’t cave and ofc narancia obliges because mista listen they are just little Creachers they must be Nourished and mista is getting increasingly upset because “narancia!! you’re spoiling them stop it!!!”

-also i feel like nara loves number 5 with his whole heart ok,, it’s a minor scale trish situation where he’s like “shit man i’ve been there c’mon baby i’ll get you some pepperoni :((“ and eventually 5 just gravitates towards him whenever he’s around because he knows that narancia won’t take the other bullet’s shit and he feels safe and just,,, listen i think about this a lot

-“i don’t have a favorite i love number 5 and all the other not number 5s equally”

-fugio: year’s of pining, oblivious idiots, full on slow burn romance

naramis, who’ve been together since day 1: look at our little nerds go...

-speaking of miscommunication though trish constantly has to be the messenger pigeon from both sides because sometimes nara will just get anxious and be like “trish i think he’s angry at me oh no is he angry at me does he seem like he’s angry at me” and trish is like idk man i’ll talk to him about it and mista just goes “he took my cereal trish you don’t understand one can’t forgive the kidnapping of captain crunch” and she just goes back and forth until the conflict is resolved. someone please save her.

-gio and nara are Bros ok and half the time giorno is just like “listen narancia i appreciate you but you have the worst taste imaginable literally what can you possibly see in him romantically”

-tl;dr they are idiots in love and i will never shut up about these two

#jjba #jojo’s bizarre adventure #jojo no kimyou na bouken #vento aureo #naramis #narancia ghirga #guido mista #headcanons #food mention #knife mention #gun mention #nara’s on his bullshit