When I touch someone, anyone, I feel incredibly aware that I am touching human flesh that is alive, that there is organs underneath and it feels so fragile and rotten. When someone hugs me I feel so uncomfortale! But then I am so jealous of other people thouching each other.
I don't know if I want to force myself because when I do I lose something in me which is supposed to stay away from others and when I don't I feel isolated and envious.
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