#maybe this is the people pleaser in me but

[boyfiechan]

I keep thinking about this post lately and honestly, Chan talking you through it sounds about right.

It's nothing new that Chan seems like a very vocal person in general. Back when he was still doing Chan's Room, the major portion of the lives were just him talking. In english, in korean — sometimes mixing both up. Telling us about his day, answering questions, giving opinions on diverse topics, asking questions. Even on bubble, with the way he always translates his thoughts back and forth so everyone can read, to the way he keeps teasing us — asking if he should share some pictures, asking how we want to be called, asking what we are doing — he just enjoys sharing and holding a conversation so much that it wouldn't be different in more intimate settings.

See, he's a perfectionist. Even more, a bit of a people pleaser in a sense that he just wants to make you feel so good and he needs to know that he can do it. He might get off a little bit on that as well, enjoying himself when he can see your struggle to answer a question or tell him how you feel because his fingers are moving so fast, or his mouth feels so good, or the angle his moving his hips is hitting all the right places and even if you're not a natural talker, he might try to fish it out of you.

It might start with a simple is this okay? when the kisses get a little too intense and his instinct to roam his hands around your body get stronger because he just wants to feel you closer, to feel more, to touch more. If you're still new to each other, or if you are in any way less experienced than him, even more of a shy, innocent person his tones goes even gentler, softer as he asks if it's okay to kiss you, if it's okay to touch you there, if it feels good when he does it. And he's very attentive when he does, searching for your eyes, observing how your body melt into his, hoping to catch every single little sound that gets off your mouth because, to him, that's when he knows he's doing the right thing. He wants to make you feel good, he wants to know he's doing it the way you like it, and he want the praise for it.

It's not even intentional, most of the time. He doesn't ask you if he is doing good, but more if it feels good, and it almost seems like it's only about the sensation itself. He's just such a sweet person when it comes to telling people they are doing good — he likes praising people, he likes telling them how good they're doing on such mundane things — and even when he seems to not rely as much on receiving praise as he actually does, if ever a such thing as you're doing so good or you're so good to me leaves your mouth, he's a goner. It's the type of thing that makes him stutter a little, gets him a little dizzy, maybe even having to brace himself because for all that he knows, he could cum right at that very moment, just to the way your voice sounds all breathy and lustful.

And don't get me wrong, he can get very mouthy when the timing is good. Most thing with him escalate on baby steps — he is a slow paced lover, sex to him is not only about getting his dick wet and cumming, but more about the experience itself and to the way lust and pleasure can cloud his mind — and that applies to how his tone can change when you're getting more into it, as the air gets hotter and heavier and he starts to lose his filter. Fuck, you feel so good as his cock slips back into you so deep, so right and you're so tight as he feels you clenching around him because you can feel he is getting filthier and you like it. And again, he's so attentive that he knows you like it, and it's as if you've given him a green light to just say what goes through his mind, and he does it so well.

And it's a different kind of filthy, too. He won't simply ask you if you like when he fucks you or if you like his cock, but if you can feel how deep he is. You like it when I'm inside of you, yeah? You're so perfect, you take me so well as he holds both your hands on top of your head and gives you and open mouthed kiss that feels so messy, so lustful that you get yourself lost in the feeling of it, in the feeling of him. He can feel your getting closer, your moans getting louder and dragged out, clenching around him so often he's seeing stars and he wants you to do it, that's it, cum for me, baby. Wanna feel you cum for me, his voice so whiny it's almost impossible to hold back as you let yourself go, taking you with him because it's just too good.

Are you okay? he asks as lays on your side, catching you by the waist and pressing your body against his after calming down. He wants to ask if he did good, if it was good and maybe even tell you how much he likes you or loves you or how well you did but seeing how tired you are, eyes fluttering shut as he pays attention to his heart rate and the smell of your shampoo, his mind decides to leave the end of this conversation to another moment.

#bang chan x reader #chan x reader #bang chan thoughts #bang chan hard hours #bang chan hard thoughts #boyfriend!bang chan #bang chan smut #chan hard thoughts #skz smut #skz hard hours #skz hard thoughts

[moirindeclermont]

Daily thread about BridgertonS3, we are so close and yet it seems so far away... And so it seems ok to talk about Polin and kink since they're edging us (I'm not complaining, I'm into it).

Necessary disclaimer: if kink is not your thing, that's okay. This is just my personal reflection. This is also an adult only post.

So, Pen is Miss hyperindipedence, and Colin is Mister people pleaser. She wants to control everything and do stuff on her own, He wants to worship the ground she walks but sometimes he needs to take control as well.

Ergo, being them the superior ship they are, they can't be anything other than switch 🤝 switch. It's not a 50/50 thing.

Sometimes she wants to feel in control, but she loves that often she can let go and not have to think or decide because she knows Colin will take care of it.

Other times Colin wants to praise his goddess and that's his ultimate goal, damn his pleasure.

Both have a praise kink and I will die on this hill. Colin maybe more, but you can't tell me Pen didn't melt on the spot the first time Colin said "good girl".

I feel like there is an exhibitionist/voyeuristic element to their dynamic, if the mirror scene is an indication.

Some impact play, I'm sure of it, especially after the reveal of LW.

Also, edging. A lot of edging. As they should. Maybe in a role play session.

Or simply just Colin bring her closer and closer and then go back and forth while adoring her. Silk ropes may being involved, just to keep her still. No gag, he loves listen to her.

Maybe some experiment with dildos, because Colin would love to be pegged (as he should) and I'm sure Pen would be very curious to try DP or some stuff like that.

On the baseline, there is an amount of trust that allows them to explore their pleasure. They can laugh when things go sideways (sex is messy, sometimes things go sideways) and they are confortable with each other. Confortable enough to say when you don't like something.

And sometimes it's completely vanilla and that's fine too. But sometimes they like to g wild and explore their deepest desire together.

Remember kids. When it comes to kink, Safe, sane and consensual. Always!

#polin #bridgerton #kink discussion #bridgerton season 3 #colin x penelope #colin bridgerton #penelope featherington #this is your warning #polin meta #polin supremacy

[blackskorpi0n]

I hate having bad/negative interactions lmao

#maybe this is the people pleaser in me but #i try to avoid conflict as much as possible #and try not to escalate anything #but at the same time i shouldn't gaslight myself #my feelings are valid #i gotta remember that #also boundaries exist for a reason

[callixton]

i still think about being in tenth grade or whatever and my friend making a joke about how ‘i secretly saw myself as the main character and didn’t believe other people to be real’ like i was so horrified bc it was so entirely untrue. i do believe people should be the ‘main character’ of their own lives bc i think that you must live your life with some self-priority and romanticism but the idea that i wouldn’t care about how i affected other people because of it is so genuinely upsetting like. i think they may have been projecting w that bc i truly cannot think of another way they could’ve come to that conclusion like we had a little friction at times but i do believe i was a good friend in high school & i’m self aware enough to realize when i haven’t been

#chronic people pleaser who compulsively puts other people first #you think WHAT about me #anyway it clearly left an impression #didn’t Really change my behavior tho bc i. Don’t Think That #in fact npc jokes etc have always rubbed me really the wrong way #idk ! maybe me being sensitive about it means it hit too close to home or something but i also think it’s bc it feels so antithetical to th #- person i try to be that someone even thinking that about me is deeply unsettling #& i don’t know if it was actually something in my behavior that was reading that way! or if it was just them! #ted talks

[iftitah]

everyone prioritizes their family and that means even extended chacha ke chacha fufa ke tau etc and i can't even prioritize my sagi one i hate myself

#and its not that they're bad or anything #but im such a people pleaser i feel validation from strangers is more important than family #its because maybe ive watched them too closely and nothing about them fascinates me anymore i know the pattern #and my fun is meeting new people cracking the code #but still #i hate that people will cut your calls leave your message unread kyunki aaj poora din bua mausi aaye the #wish i was that focused on my relatives #ill literally text call anyone even in a middle of a fucking apocalypse #idk yall should tell me if im doing something wrong do yall keep your phones away and forget to text your friends #but i can't focus one thing for too long i cannot physically see messages decking up and not reply #i hate this #do people simply not check. there phone as often or am i an addict #or have i still not learnt to be in the moment #and tomorrow night i leave for home and my friends have planned a meet up #now frn 1 comes to home for one month in her holidays so giving one day or even two days to friends doesn't matter #frn 2 lives in hometown so there's no problem but mind you if she comes she has to leave in 2 minutes because her mom calls every five #minutes just to get her back to home for nothing #frn 3 comes home same as me aka 4-5 days so giving 1 day to friends is parents saying tumhe hamse matlab nahi hai tyohaar mei bhi har baar #milne jaana hota hai #etc #but im home past 4 days ivd literally done nothing papa bhai se utni hi baat hui jitni phone par ho jaati hai #haan for mummy i spent time with her #but most of the time i was on tumblr or scrolling insta to kya hi matlab hua mere ghar aane ka #that means unhe bas meri physical presence chahiye #na ghar par bua aayi na mama na koi #lekin ab kal mujhe jaana hai to kal mama aa jaayenge #why are things this way

[im-not-the-one-youre-looking-for]

Is it weird that I react with anger when men decide they have feelings after one (1) time meeting me?

#it just feels so…….. fake. like dude you don’t know me you just met me. you know the people pleaser conversationalist #who kept the conversation moving #and made you feel comfortable enough to engage #it just feels like presumption. and maybe I’m being silly and don’t know how easy I am to know #I really don’t think I’m easy to know #it’s not that I’m super complicated. it’s more like I’m too simple at heart #it’s all honor and love and duty and joy #which is all one thing to me #anyway I take seven months to make friends with people so I’m not surprised online dating is not for me #maybe this time I’ll remember that

[hysteriasgarden]

sometimes I feel guilty for disliking my parents, or moreso how they acted when I was a kid sometimes. because nowadays they're great. they're absolutely fine. so it would be ungrateful to say they're bad parents? they spoiled me as a kid if anything, they kept me safe and all that too.

but at the same time, them being good now doesn't change the fact that I needed them to be good when I was still growing. it helps nothing for them to be good parents now that I'm an adult and already fucked up from them. it changes nothing that they were slightly traumatizing when I was still developing and growing as a child

#mine #childhood trauma #parental abuse #I've recovered from most of those trauma symptoms I developed #or well... at least I cry and feel less dread when someone raises their voice nowadays #cry less* #I'm still an overly timid people pleaser with no self respect #who's too afraid to do anything to ever upset people even if it means ignoring my own comfort #because that's just what worked best as a kid #fighting back and getting upset just made things worse #doing things wrong would always instigate something #so I just learned to do things perfectly #and to accept what's dished out to me without making a fuss #I don't know if this behavior will be healthy in adult life though... #it has served me well through childhood but will it serve me in the workforce? #if things had been the opposite #if they had acted the way they do now when I was young #and been terrible now instead. maybe I'd be able to deal with them healthily? #maybe my entire personality would be different #not sure where I'm going with this #but I'm just wondering who I could've been if they had been a little nicer or a little calmer about things

[grishaverse-chaos]

hot take because I'm in my anti canon!zoyalai era: obviously you're losing me is very kanej, BUT the bridge specifically is post-RoW zoyalai

#okay so i would like to clarify that i ADORE zoyalai in fanfiction and in the good version of canon which exists only in my head #BUT in canon i have issues with it being unevenly balanced in Zoya's favour (this is the short version of my long complicated thoughts) #and so specifically i think that zoya maybe would object to marrying nikolai post-row #because she might think that he planned her becoming queen for a while #and so believe that he was only proposing to regain his throne #so in conclusion: #i wouldn't marry me either! a pathological people-pleaser! who only wanted you to see [him]! #is very much nikolai's pov of what i imagine would happen #(fully prepared for this post to flop because zoyalai is so popular lmao) #grishaverse #mayhem.txt #mayhem grishaverse originals

[f1-stuff]

how do you cope with this carlos-hate between the lines here on tumblr? btw love following you for your good vibes and funny tags

Hello, sweet anon ❤️

Tbh some days are harder than others! I like to think I’ve gotten a lot better at simply not logging on when I expect there to be those sorts of posts - also making sure that the blogs I follow are the only ones I wanna see on my tl. Sometimes, like earlier today, I just channel my energy into making gifs and only come on tumblr to post those and leave lol

Obviously, I still see stuff if I go looking in his tag or something slips thru the cracks, and some days I write out a whole rant and then delete it (it can be v therapeutic just to type your feelings, even if you never post it). Also having someone/people who I can talk to about it can be pretty helpful. Or even revisiting a Carlos thing that makes you smile! I’ll sometimes just go thru his tag on my blog and inevitably something silly he did will make me laugh and I feel (mostly) better 😂❤️

Other than that, I think just recognizing that everyone’s opinions are just that - opinions! Pro sports is one of the areas in life that people can be the most opinionated/vocal/vitriolic about online but it’s bc it inspires such passion in people. Personally, I like to channel my passion for f1 in positive ways - it makes me a happier person and it’s the whole ‘be the change you want to see’ in the fandom philosophy haha

I hope some of this is helpful ❤️ you can always come to me if you’re needing someone to talk to or wanna just toss something in my inbox to take your mind off of things!

#don’t get me wrong- ​I also love my mutuals who get spicy on their blogs 😂 #we need those ppl too but it’s just not how I tend to deal with these situations #I’m probs a classic conflict avoider/people pleaser #but this is just how I deal with it - everyone’s different! #I will also throw in here that I used to get reeaallly upset growing up if my hometown’s football team lost a game #I’ve grown a lot over the years and idk how but I just put Way less stock into sports now #I’m still very passionate (obviously - I run a whole f1 blog 😅) #but I don’t get anywhere near as upset about things going wrong as I used to #maybe it just comes with time but I find myself enjoying sports more now bc the fate of my team does not affect my entire day/week anymore #I’m not gonna question it - just take it as a mental health win and run with it 🤷🏻‍♀️👏🏻 #anon #ask

[jessiesjaded]

I really am bad for the "but remember how much love their used to be! Isn't that enough?" Like.... /used to/ that's the telling aspect here. Their /used to be/ but there hasn't been for a long time- in fact their has been more negative feeling than anything, so shouldn't you just leave it to the past? Call it a day for good?

#something weird happened in my brain where i suddenly became a people pleaser after most of my life being the exact opposite #and i have this weird thing about wanting to be remembered well and if i drop relationships that no longer bring anything postive than maybe #they wont think of me well and then i feel all 😖 about it #its just hard. i wish i could draw a firm line in the sand and not really care like i used to

[deityofhearts]

this is so funny

#deity dialogue #uhhhh #my basic deal is that like #I think I’m getting better at it I don’t try and befriend people I don’t like unless I have to (irl for work) #but like idk I’m terrified of everyone including (especially) my own friends hating me #I already do feel unwanted in these relationships especially given how past friendships have gone #but like Im doin my best like I genuinely like all the people I talk to #if you’re someone i talk to regularly or whatever I do like you #doesn’t change that I’m afraid you don’t like me #idk #Sandy just said she’s proud of me I’m gonna cry #like idk I use to be like really cheerful and peppy and nice and maybe I still am #but I have a problem with being a people pleaser and wanting to be liked so bad that I do it at my own expense #and I still do that (mostly irl and at work again) #but it’s tiring and it’s killing me and it’s caused me to be in a lot of painful toxic relationships and to also be a toxic person #and so I’m trying not to do that anymore like #idk just look at the funny screenshot #discord

[cognitiveleague]

Me: … so I told them ‘I’d love to help with that, but I’m at capacity and can’t commit that kind of time to it right now without setting aside my current tasks.’

Therapist: Nice!

Me: Yeah!

Therapist: Look at you go!!

Me: Yeah!!!

Therapist: It’s ok to tell people no!

Me: …sometimes!

Therapist: …

#getting a good grade at therapy #no….? … a passing grade at least? #therapy #mental health #me Vs the urge to overcompensate for The ADHD by being hyper competent and helpful all the time #rl #my post #adhd #adult adhd #actually adhd #I can be really stubborn and forthright #so I kinda forget sometimes that I do have a compulsive people pleaser thing in other contexts #and that I should maybe work on doing it less

[emmafallsinlove]

sometimes i think how uncomfortable the drive with logan in 6x08 must have been and i wanna scream

like if it was just jess & rory they could tell some inside jokes to make stuff more comfortable but i just thinking of jess in the back seat, logan’s driving and rory in silent because she had nothing to say that won’t make logan to ask questions that both of them might be not ready to answer yet.

#IT MAKE ME SO ANGRY #like if it’d be just the two of them rory would crack up a joke that maybe she should drive cause last time she ended up with a cast #and he had left town #but i just think of the three of them sitting in silence #rory completely miserable because she’s a people pleaser and she was just trying to be nice and polite to her boyfriend #but it’s clear she doesn’t want him there #I HATE IT I HATE IT #jess x rory #anti logan huntzberger #rory gilmore #jess mariano #gilmore girls #or speaks now

[athetos]

Okay this is something that has taken me years to come to terms with and I just need to get off my chest especially since im not in therapy anymore and honestly only a few close friends know this but talking about it is still hard and I want to be able to better forgive myself and get rid of some of the internalized shame that plagues me because of this, and like, just be more comfortable admitting this fact to myself so I can better heal from it. And I know it’s also triggering to a lot of people so I never feel like it’s ever appropriate to discuss I should have a therapist again maybe sometime. But I’m gonna just say it and maybe delete this later. But I’m a rape + abuse survivor and it’s took me years to even “unlock” this trauma and properly process it. I’ve come a long way but idk I just wanted to get this off my chest because it’s been aching to come out but I also don’t wanna burden people.

#I want to ‘move on’ from this but I’m always gonna have ptsd and complicated triggers and. trying to make peace with that. #idk why it’s been at the forefront of my mind the past couple weeks #maybe because I’m yearning for a long term relationship rn and this is barriers I need to break through #like oh man if I wanna love someone and marry them I have to learn to trust them and take that leap #and the fact that I’m afraid of falling into an abusive relationship again #because as much as I tell myself I’d recognize the warning signs and would leave immediately #I truly will never know what I would do until it actually happens #and I think just the fear of falling for someone and having them turn out to be a scumbag is alone too much #I need to vet potential partners through multiple friend groups or something #my therapist always told me that the reason toxic and/or abusive people try to enter my life is because they can tell I’m vulnerable #like that I’m some sort of easy target because I was a people pleaser and empathize easily #and people realize they can get away with some shitty stuff and take advantage of me since I’m loyal and forgiving #I don’t think I’m like that anymore. I feel like I’m a lot more assertive and like. cognizant of red flags now. #but again… it’s a fear I have #idk what I’m even saying anymore.

[soldier-poet-king]

No fr maybe sometimes ur intrusive nsfw ocd thoughts aren't ocd or sex but are ur brain trying to work thru some awful uncomfortable realizations about urself and the broken warped links between the nebulous concepts of punishment, comfort, reward, and deserve and how the lines are blurred and none of these really mean anything to u

#the duality of fran #im not saying ofc sex is is bad or kink or whatever #i am saying me specifically with my fuckin nasty ass brain and 0 concept of not being a people pleaser #a thing about myself i find both terrible and also euphoric #for me specifically where i am rn it would be!!! bad!!!! and the ocd sure doesnt help when it's like #oh u MUST navel gaze obsess about MEANING 24/7 #especially when it is uncomfortable #mostly tho i think this is somehow both religious/existential and everyday/physical #where is that love is soup god is soup post i made #about how all of these things are fundamentally inextricable and connected #bc they stem from the same source #so theres no really truly separating the carnal from the divine form the physical from the spiritual from the mundane #its all soup. some with more some with less ingredients. but its all soup in the human soul #.maybe.

[lilowoof]

Time to be whimsical on a sunday night.

But I've been thinking about my upcoming bday (mainly what I wanna do for it/where to eat lmao). But something else that has been on my mind is that in a few years I will be entering my 30s. And I am strangely excited for it??

The mid to late 20's have been really hard on me and honestly, I wasn't expecting to still be around to ever reach my 30s. But here I am! I finished my main schooling!!! And while I am suffering with some sort of mental boo boos, I am slowly learning more about myself and slowly trying to let go of all the past demons. It's taking time but eventually I will be ok again.

I have the power to get out there to meet new ppl, and ppl who are around the same cycle of life as I am. And it's exciting to think about! While I would love to devote most of my time to salmon running, I've lately come to realize that I wanna put my time more into my life on top of that. Meet someone who I can actually connect and grow with. Where I can still salmon run and game but also experience more in the life ahead of me! (and perhaps some couple gaming? I've always liked that in past relationships hehhe)

Do I wanna get married? IDK! But damn do I want to get proposed to. And I wanna go to more events in the city!!! And more P!nk concerts (tho it's getting to be a bit too expensive now hahah...)

LIKE. Life ain't perfect and I am anticipating some hard upcoming struggles. I am still dealing with financial abuse and repairing my savings after those issues. BUT LIKE. LIFE is still going, and I can try my best to make it the best it can be!!!!

#I have so many swirling thoughts I just wanna dump them all here ahhhh #lmao maybe I will never own a house but I will try my best regardless #and I wanna meet someone so badlyyyyyy not cause Im afraid of being alone (quite the opposite) #but because I do enjoy ppls company and having someone to lean on when needed and having a community is important #and I am tired of being let down and betrayed by so many ppl in my 20s. that era is DONE. #I am still a strong people pleaser and very in tune with other's emotions but I also want to do what's best for ME #Im so sick of trying with ppl who clearly dont care. I learned and I am adapting. with friendships and partners :D #so the 30s will have a good foundation and I can cut ppl out quicker as needed. etc etc #like!!!!!!!! so many things to look forward to #so many new ppl to meet #new memories #and pain. but I came out on top in the past and I WILL come out on top now. BET!!!!!!!! #JUST THINKING ABOUT ALL THAT IS MAKING ME GO AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope future me reads this to reflect on things <3