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#me when opening snacks
fefposting · 8 months
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Yo cuando
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wormshirt · 3 months
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The Doctor needs one of those classes they give to expecting/hopeful parents but for humans. Get their ass enrolled in a parenting course. And everytime they get a new companion he has to retake the course.
#doctor who#dw#the doctor#inspired by the deleted scene of her just pushing amy out of the tardis doors into space#while amy was having an anxiety attack. YOU CANNOT DO THAT!#they have access to all of time and space the doctor has to be able to find a human parenting/caretaker course#bonus points if he ends up taking one for human children.#imgine youre travelling with the doctor and he leaves and comes back one day and says they enrolled themself in a human management course#and youre like 'oh thank god finally'#and then she just starts bubble wrapping the entire tardis and locking off entire rooms and giving you coloring sheets and stim toys#when you get bored#and starts taking you to like. fucking parks to play with other humans.#and starts carrying like fucking snacks like lunchables and shit everywhere and giving them to you at regular intervals#and you're like 'hey what the fuck.'#and you ask them what the hell they're doing and you find out they were learning to care for human TODDLERS.#and you're like. jesus fucking christ. explains so much. mildly disconcerting how much stayed the same though.#and so obviously you ask 'do you see me as a child?' and the doctor is like. ah. interesting question.#you know what else is interesting. OOOOOOO TELETUBBIES LETS LOOK AT THE TELETUBBIES OOOOOO EDUCATIONAL GAMES OOOO!!!!#LOOK AT THE SMALL HUMAN ON THE SCREEN WHICH PAIR OF SHOES MATCHES THE DRESS??? CHOOSE FAST!!!!!!#this could also open the door for an amazing bit though#where you start doing all of the same things back to the doctor and it works even better on them than it did you.#turn their ass into an ipad kid. they start arguing too much put his ass on minecraft pocket edition.#she just sits there for 1-3 hours. dead silence. you walk over like. 'hey. um. you good.'#no answer. you look ove rher shoulder. she has recreated ancient rome in minecraft in exact replica and is the reigning emperor.#they are roleplaying the roman senate with sheep and villagers. okay. can you please save the world now. please.#this is not to infantilize the doctor. he is old as shit. they are an adult. but by god can they be easily entertained.#not to mention that a key factor of the doctor IS their eternal childishness.#but they ARE a fully grown adult. beyond that even. ancient 'were you alive to see the dinosaurs grandpa?' ass motherfucker.#they are just also a masive loser. who would love minecraft pocket edition and lunchables. probably. who doesn't though.#bangers
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musubiki · 5 months
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love the idea that for big gift events like limes birthday/christmas/valentines day, lime just has a MASS of gifts from all the girls at school who like him, and then while hes opening them up mochi is RIGHT THERE getting first dibs at the stuff he doesnt want
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taibhsearachd · 11 months
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You think you’re making a good choice getting a smart dog. Oh, he’ll understand human language better, he’ll pick up training faster, etc etc. And all of that may be true.
The problem is that truly smart dogs watch everything. They learn. And the result is that no lock made by god or man can stop them unless it requires thumbs to operate. Our authority over Trinket truly only rests on the fact that he hasn’t figured out a carabiner yet.
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thattheater-kid · 1 month
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My system friend: Oh, we should tell the waiter it’s one of our birthday to get the free dessert! Who volunteers?
Me: Well, it is actually kind of my birthday.
My system friend: It is? That’s right, it is! It should be you because it’s technically your birthday!
My other friend, who knows our legal birthday (in October) and doesn’t know we’re a system: What do you mean, it’s your birthday?
Me: It’s a… complicated story.
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unopenablebox · 20 hours
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ed cw for safety
how come every time i am hungry but have to wait for a mealtime (e.g. girlfriend is going for a run first) i have to try to rederive the concept of a small immediately available food item, and fail
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kirby-the-gorb · 2 years
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perilegs · 5 months
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every time i try to do something scary on purpose for my social anxiety the universe decides to add in unexpected situations 😔
#i was supposed to go pick up a package and then i was like. ok wait. ive gotten good at buying something while pickiing a package up. what#if i also buy stamps#bc you have to ask the cashier for those (same as with the package)#and it was just at my cornerstore so it's a safe nonscary environment#well. as not-scary as any store can be.#but. there were a lot of ppl there. which! i thought would be fine bc the line was still relatively short but. what happened was that they#opened another register.#and i was queuing for the reguster that had stamps and handles packages#and i would have loved to stay at the queue. but. only one person went to the queue of the new register. so there were 2 ppl in line before#me. one already had their stuff on the conveyor belt and the other was about to put their stuff there too#and the person who went to the other register only had like 2 things to buy. so. it was me. in line behind 2 people. versus an almost#empty register. so. i had to switch to the free register before the cashier had the time to b like 'there's a free register here!'#bc i don't have a script for hearing that and saying 'no' !!!#so i just. switched over and bought my snacks. leaving the store with no package and no stamps.#bc if i hadnt i would have had to say something i dont have a social script for and probably stumbled on my words and gone red and dizzy#which. not ideal.#and this sucks ass bc all i really needed was one (1) success in a social situation#bc this week has been kicking my ass social anxiety wise#usually when i go and get coffee from a coffeeshop they dont ask me shit and just make my order to regular milk which. ok. i dont have an#allergy or anything. i just think plant alternatives taste better in coffee#but this week. i got asked 'do you want that in regular milk?' and i was not expecting that#so i was like 'yes please 😊' and drank my grossly milky coffee dreaming about what i could have had#and that happened TWICE#after the first time i did think about it and decide i could have said 'do you have oat milk or something' and then the barista#could have either said yes or no and both of those would b easy to answer#but instead of asking if they have oat milk i just said yes. again.#can you guys imagine some people speak without being scared#some people even go to the store without feeling even an ounce of fear. imagine#leevi talks
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ronanlynchbf · 9 months
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saying "this is unbearable" abt things yet still continuing to bear them. give it up for the human spirit everyone 🙏👆👍💪💪💪❗❗❗
#guy who has given up 999999999 times but has then kept going 1000000000000 times despite it..#this is abt aforementioned work situations and also new awful work situation. this time i got yelled at by a customer bc i wouldn't leave#when i opened the glass case for them which is like. a showcase with these glass doors that only employees can open with specific keys in#which the more expensive bags & jewelry & watches etc reside and if a customer asks if we can open it so they can view or try on a thing#inside we have to stay by them until they're done looking or trying on and have decided they're gonna take it (or not) because we have had#things stolen so many times here u wouldn't believe. so we're told to stay thus i had to stay till she was finished and she didn't rlly lik#that one i guess.. anyway while i do not give a shit what a random woman thinks of me i am very bad with getting yelled at so. fun times.#still red in the face as i'm typing this. it's fine though i didn't cry 👍 a near thing though but that's also fine i'm gonna go to the#staff toilets and sneak my trusty wired earphones in with me and listen to whale song until i've calmed down#can't wait to get home and eat and shower and get in my sweatpants and drink a beer or possibly some wine and watch attorney woo and then#later this evening play a game on the ps5 with my siblings and eat late-night snacks and drink another beer or possibly some more wine and#forget all about the start of this day <33333 and scroll through tumblr somewhere in between there and also do my duolingo lest i lose my#stupid streak. peace n love on planet earth once i get home <3333#r.txt
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dollsuguru · 1 month
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gonna try japanese food for the first time this week :3
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aintmyjewelry · 10 months
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idk why this mommy vlogger i follow thought it would be a good idea to post a video of the literal fingerprint lock she put on her pantry so her kids would stop going in there for snacks
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someone who knows she’s stirred up trouble
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lucysweatslove · 11 months
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Tw for the tags I just need to get this out (ED bullshit related)
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steelycunt · 1 year
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HI RIDI I LOVE YOU I MISS YOU I THINK I HAD A DREAM ABOUT YOU LAST NIGHT BUT I CANT REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED BUT THIS CAN BE PROOF EVEN IN SLEEP MY SUBCONSCIOUS IS MISSING YOU!!!!!
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poputepi · 7 months
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of course they're RIGHT about this but have you considered, i am too scared to leave my room 99% of the time
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rainblescake · 1 year
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ppl of tumblr i hope youre okay with how annoying of a person im about to become once 8 pm rolls around
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