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#much more to explore with her! does she have friends outside of miguel (and if not does this tie into her apparent isolation from alchemax)

shrinkthisviolet · 3 years

Note

Curious about how you would rank all three (current) Cobra Kai Seasons from Worst to Best? And what you did/didn’t enjoy the most about each one.

Sorry for the late reply! I’ve been working on this slowly but surely, and here it finally is 🥰

I guess I decently like S1, and I hate S2 the most, and S3 falls in the middle.

Likes about S1: How everyone is portrayed! I don’t really have a lot of problems with S1 in terms of character introductions and stuff. It’s why I keep most things pretty much the same. The way Johnny teaches is also pretty realistic for him, given his circumstances. I also really liked the fighting in 1x10!

Dislikes about S1: Everything about 1x9. Like so much about it. Amanda grounding Sam without letting her explain anything, the whole Sam/Miguel/Robby thing, the fact that Miguel felt entitled to all of Sam’s time?? Like come on dude, give her a few hours to respond! People have lives outside of their significant others! Whether Sam was grounded or not, Miguel was way out of line in that episode. And, reminder, he got mad at Sam for not replying BEFORE getting drunk, so can’t blame it all on the alcohol! I also hate that Miguel threatened Robby in 1x10 and it was just...brushed off?? Hello?? Miguel and Hawk got a lecture from Johnny, but uh...anyone wanna tell Johnny that it was PREMEDITATED??

OH AND THE WAY DANIEL KICKED OUT ROBBY!! I understand that he has KK3 trauma. I get it. But he REALLY hurt Robby, and it makes me so mad

Likes about S2: I liked Daniel training Sam, Robby, and Demetri! This season reminded me how much I love Miyagi-Do 🥰 I also loved the Coyote Creek scene, and I loved the Torisha and Migueli moments we got!

Dislikes about S2: S@mrobby. I wasn’t a fan of their romance, they worked better as friends imo. And, as much as I liked Sam, a lot of stuff she did this season (the drinking in front of Robby even after knowing about Shannon, the cheating, the repeatedly accusing Tory even when she said she didn’t steal Amanda’s wallet, etc) really frustrated me. I also really dislike how Samguel was written this season–Sam and Miguel were both being stubborn in their own ways–Sam refused to hear Miguel out, Miguel refused to acknowledge Cobra Kai’s legitimate flaws...though at least in 2x7, he did the right thing. Still, he stuck by Hawk and Cobra Kai and never gave Hawk a hard time about anything, ever. It was incredibly frustrating to watch as someone who genuinely loves Sam and Miguel’s chemistry together.

ALSO DANIEL KICKING OUT ROBBY AGAIN OMG DANIEL WTF?? You’ll give Sam a slap on the wrist for getting SUPER drunk but kick out Robby for being responsible?? And taking her somewhere safe?? UGH

I also wish Sam and Hawk had been (romantic) rivals, as detailed very well in this post. AND I wish Hawk had started the 2x10 fight! After his threat to Demetri in 2x9, after how their tensions have been building...you can’t tell me it wouldn’t have fit better for loose-cannon Hawk to start the school fight, instead of they’ll-send-you-right-back-to-juvie-if-you-fight Tory. I simply don’t believe you. OH, and the narrative of the show blaming Sam more for the 2x9 cheating?? With almost no blame for Miguel?? Awful. They were both at fault, but Miguel was SOBER! Or at least not as drunk as Sam was. How does he get LESS BLAME??

Likes about S3: I like the idea of Eagle Fang. I liked the exploration of Sam’s PTSD, and how it seems like she’s starting to conquer that in 3x10 (emphasis on STARTING, writers! She isn’t “cured”! I’m begging you not to act like her PTSD is magically gone!). I also loved Daniel being all flustered at catching Samguel kissing, and Daniel bonding with Miguel! I also loved 3x5, as heartbreaking as it was. And I loved 3x10, especially the tag-team fighting!

Dislikes about S3: Okay, so. I kept hoping S3 would be the dojo-merging season, and I didn’t love that they kept stretching out the rivalry. I also didn’t like that there wasn’t a tournament–this season spanned only 3 MONTHS, which would be fine if the first season hadn’t spanned AN ENTIRE SCHOOL YEAR! This was literally just a filler season, and it was frustrating.

I said I liked 3x10, and I stand by that. However, the Jali stuff in this and 3x9 was incredibly frustrating, because Jarmen is clearly endgame. Mind you, I don’t HATE Jali, this isn’t meant to be a knock on Jali shippers. I just think it was a terrible disservice to show Johnny clearly choosing Carmen, then going on a date with Ali (and yes, it was a date. Argue with the wall. Johnny and Ali wanted to kiss), then...being pushed into choosing Carmen again?? I mean..COME ON!

Oh, and the Damiko flirting in S3 was extra enraging. I love them, they’re adorable, but only in KK2 or in some kind of AU. In canon, Daniel is married, and as much as Kumiko still likes him, she has her own life apart from him too. Stop it, writers. STOP IT!

#cobra kai #anti samrobby #not anti jali or jarmen just critical of the writing of 3x9 and 3x10 #also disclaimer i don’t hate hawk #i just think he gets let off the hook for A LOT of stuff #too much if you ask me #samguel #migueli #torisha

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demetriandelibinaryboyfriends · 3 years

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Hello! So, something that always intrigued me is the concept of “reverse aus,” and I’ve been thinking about that in the context of Cobra Kai for a while now. How do you think it would go down if Demetri was the one to get roped into Cobra Kai? Obviously, I don’t think he would be as into as Eli canonically was (probably due to it becoming a special interest for him), but I’d be curious to hear your take on it. Would Eli end up going to Miyagi-Do like canon Demetri did, or would Demetri and Eli sort of become the new Evil Karate Husbands™️? And possibly, how do you think Demetri and Johnny’s dynamic would go? (I’m just going to awkwardly add that this is cc-tinslebee, coming to you live from my main blog because I don’t think Tumblr let’s sideblogs send asks-)

So this is actually the SECOND ask I’ve gotten about this scenario--Cherry sent in another one!--so I figured I’d give it a stab. Took me a while to work out how I think it would go and how everything would play out different if Demetri and Eli’s roles were reversed, but I’m pretty happy with how it turned out. I tried to make it more interesting than just “Demetri does all the stuff Eli does and Eli does all the stuff Demetri does.”

Also I lowkey LOVE the idea of Evil Karate Husbands and even though that isn’t the direction this particular AU goes in, I might do a divergent spin-off AU to explore that too??? Because man...the thought of Miguel desperately trying to save his two best friends who have fallen to the dark side...*cries*

Fair warning that this AU is gonna get dark as shit--I fully belive things would’ve gotten equally fucked up between them in a role reverse AU, just, ah...in slightly different ways. A lot of this will not be Happy Times later on, much like their canon relationship XD

OKAY TIME FOR PAIN, LET’S GOOOO

Longboi post so be warned!!!

Season 1

After getting his ass handed to him--for trying to stick up for Eli, no less--Demetri was pissed. Why the hell was he paying some guy to beat him up for daining to have a problem with him bullying his best friend? Going home in a rage, he nearly texted Miguel to tell him he was quitting--but something stopped him just before he hit Send.

He remembered the look on Eli’s face just after Kyler shoved him away. He remembered seeing Eli stiffen when Kyler grabbed him by the chin, practically feeling the terror emanate from his friend’s body. He remembered how completely and infuriatingly helpless he felt.

It certainly wasn’t the first time something like that had happened. But maybe if Miguel was onto something--maybe if karate really could protect him and Eli from the bullies--it could be the last.

Mr. Lawrence (or Sensei Lawrence, as he obnoxiously insisted on being called) hardly let up on bullying Eli. Even at Eli’s request not to call him “Lip” and the pleading of his star student Miguel Diaz himself, the man only seemed to crack down harder--in some sort of twisted effort to “toughen Eli up,” Demetri guessed. Demetri defended Eli every single time, not mincing any words mouthing off at Sensei Lawrence. It got Demetri punched in the face, flipped on the mat, saddled with much harder drills than the rest of the class, but he didn’t give a shit. He wasn’t about to let anyone treat Eli like that, no matter what pain he had to endure for it.

Johnny, meanwhile, is immensely annoyed by this obnoxious, sarcastic kid who just can’t stop running his mouth--but working him twice as hard as the rest of the class is proving to be fruitless in shutting him up. But, Johnny’s finding, Demetri constantly antagonizing him doesn’t have to be a hindrance. Anger like that can be weaponized--the more he provokes Demetri, the more he insults and belittles that Eli kid he’s so attached to, the harder Demetri punches. The quicker he moves when he fights. The stronger he kicks. Johnny sometimes comes home after training covered in nasty bruises, almost entirely from sparring Demetri--they’re enough to make Carmen and Rosa Diaz worry he’s getting jumped on the way home.

One day Johnny takes his ribbing of Eli just a little too far, hoping to get an especially vicious reaction out of Demetri. Eli, pushed to the end of his rope, runs out of the dojo, barely holding back tears. Demetri starts to go after him, but Miguel puts a hand on his arm and stops him, saying they can both check up on him later.

When Demetri finds Eli after practice, Eli’s sobbing. “I can’t do this anymore, Deme. No matter what you say to him, he just keeps picking on me. It never stops.” Demetri winces, because Eli isn’t wrong--Sensei Lawrence really hasn’t stopped bullying Eli at all, and while Demetri was busy letting himself get riled up by it, he didn’t actually think to see how it was affecting Eli. “Well, I know it sucks now, and Mr. Lawrence is a huge asshole, but we’re learning to be tough,” Demetri reasons. “We’re learning to be intimidating. A few more months here, and the bullies will never touch us again! Just like Miguel!” And Eli just scowls, uncharacteristically angry for his timid self, and says “Well, it’s not worth it if I have to feel like shit the whole time! If every time I step in here I get everything about me picked apart, over and over again! I’m done with this, Demetri.”

And just like that, Eli is out of the dojo. Demetri can’t help but be disappointed--he’d looked forward to them training together, and seeing Eli become a badass, fearless fighter who could hand Kyler’s ass to him after all those fucked up things he said to Eli. And to make matters worse, Sensei Lawrence doesn’t stop using Eli as fuel to rip out Demetri’s rage long after Eli’s gone. “Oooh, Loudmouth, feeling sad today? Missing Lip the Quitter?” “You keep throwing punches like that, and you could get beat up by that loser with the fucked lip you were so enamored with. Although knowing you, you’d let him win anyways.” And Demetri can’t help but hate the man, but damn, if it doesn’t feel good to land an especially good hit on him, or jab him in the thigh with a powerful kick.

But things aren’t bad--Demetri still has Miguel, and their new friend Aisha. Eli still hangs out with them outside of practice, and indulges Demetri in his ever-increasing ramblings about martial arts, no matter how nervous and uncomfortable karate tends to make Eli. If Demetri likes it that much, maybe he should make an effort to show interest in it. The four of them crash Yasmine’s birthday party, and Demetri even finds himself smooth-talking them into getting alcohol with his newfound confidence. After all, if he can land punches faster than a snake can strike, how difficult can it be to weasel his way into getting a little beer?

Meanwhile Moon, feeling understandably unfulfilled in her popular clique, takes an interest in the Cool New Karate Gang in town, and after apologizing to Aisha at the beach rager, the two strike up a friendship. She comes to hang out with their group more and more, and Eli finds her surprisingly easy to talk to. Moon constantly makes an effort to include him when the others get to wrapped up talking about karate, and he appreciates her kindness and sincerity. It’s odd, really, how easy it is to have a conversation with her, considering how nervous he tends to get around her. But Eli doesn’t think too much about it.

When it comes time for the tournament, Moon and Eli go together to support their friends. Eli finds his gaze flickering back and forth between Moon and Demetri, lingering on each of them longer than he would care to admit--and he can’t quite explain why. Something about Moon’s wide, excited smile, the smell of cherry shampoo in her hair...but also Demetri’s smug, triumphant smirk when he pulls off an especially impressive move, the way his wiry arm muscles ripple when he fights. They’re both just so...captivating.

Demetri, for his part, is ruthless. Much more so than Eli has ever seen him be. He’s always been sarcastic and cynical, but resigned to his fate--at the tournament, Demetri lashes out in vicious ways the old Demetri would never have had the courage to pull off. He talks shit to the other contestants far beyond what’s considered “sportsmanlike”--and Eli can tell he’s not holding back, with the theatrical body language channeling every awful thing he’s saying.

Demetri fights like lightning--he weaves and maneuvers and strikes at breakneck speed, a limber, flashing form hitting all across his opponent’s bodies before they have any idea what’s happening. He dodges hits and jumps aside like he has some cosmic sense of when and where they’re coming. And it scares Eli, seeing a viciousness and relentlessness in Demetri that he’s never encountered before--but somehow, he finds, he just can’t look away.

Season 2

After the tournament, Demetri’s life has never been better. At the summer’s start, he’s still riding the high of the Cobra Kai tournament win. He didn’t take home the trophy, but suffice to say he got much farther than anyone believed a scrawny, lanky nerd ever would, and he is incredibly smug about it. He realizes, at the end of the day, he’s gotten what he always wanted after all--the bullies don’t come near him and Eli at all, and he can rest easy, knowing Eli is finally safe. However, he’s so busy embracing his new skills that at times, he almost forgets that was ever even an issue. His newfound fighting prowess has caught the attention of Yasmine, of all people--maybe someone who can throw kicks that good isn’t as much of a loser as she originally thought.

She finds out after her family’s plans to go to France for the summer fall through, and she finally patches things up with Moon after their fallout at the beach party. Moon can’t stop gushing about how amazing Demetri was at the tournament--both she and her new friend Eli (who Yasmine definitely thinks seems like a weirdo, but hey--maybe if Moon thinks he’s worth her time, he can’t be that much of a loser) were so impressed with him. Interest piqued, Yasmine joins their little but ever-growing group. She finds herself quickly drawn in by Demetri’s ever-growing confidence, intelligence, and surprisingly enjoyable (if somewhat annoying) sense of humor, and before long, the two are dating.

Yasmine and Aisha are...cool. Kind of. Yasmine doesn’t quite apologize, and the two aren’t friends by any stretch of imagination, but they tolerate each other, and Yasmine refrains from making awful comments and picking on Aisha in front of their friends. Aisha, for her part, does her best not to lash out or be mean to Yasmine either, keeping the peace mainly for Demetri’s and Moon’s sakes.

Meanwhile, it would take an idiot not to notice the rather starstruck looks Eli’s been shooting in Moon’s direction. Moon, for her part, is either entirely oblivious or simply doesn’t even think to consider a shy, timid, nerdy kid as a romantic option, even if she does consider him a friend.

Oddly, Demetri finds himself extremely bothered by Eli’s doe-eyed crush on Moon. He really can’t place why--he has a girlfriend already, so it really shouldn’t bug him so much that Eli is finally growing noticably interested in girls too, now that they tend to be in closer proximity. And it’s not even like Moon seems to be at all interested in reciprocating. Maybe, he figures, it’s the fact that Moon never would have even looked their way if it weren’t for the fact that he and Miguel and Aisha were the “Cool Karate Gang.” The same karate gang, of course, that Eli quit. That Eli didn’t have it in him to fully be a part of. And yet here he is, reaping the benefits still.

Interestingly, Yasmine also seems bothered by Eli’s affections for her friend. Demetri feels her stiffen beside him and sees her shooting disapproving looks whenever she catches Eli staring at Moon. Demetri isn’t sure why she seems to take issue with this too--perhaps she thinks Moon is too good for Eli, and her friend deserves better than a shy, awkward nerd.

Something about this mindset very much rubs Demetri the wrong way, but he pushes the feeling aside. Maybe he should count his blessings instead of being so inwardly critical of his girlfriend. After all, not everyone gets to date the hottest girl in school.

The day of Valley Fest arrives, and Yasmine goes to support her boyfriend. Moon and Eli tag along, eager to support their friends as well. Caught up in the thrill of the blaring music, the bright, flashing lights, the audience cheering, Demetri feels a wave of pride as he looks at his little group of friends that came for him, yelling and whooping and jumping up and down. For some reason, he finds his gaze drawn specifically to Eli, wearing a grin bigger than Demetri’s seen in months and eyes absolutely glowing.

Suddenly Demetri feels an overpowering urge to wrap Eli up in this world he’s fallen in love with, immerse him entirely in the karate that’s made Demetri feel so much more happy and free in the past several months. Grinning, he strides forward and reaches down, using the absurd upper body strength he’s built up since he’s started karate to yank Eli up onto the stage. He hands his best friend a wooden board and steps back, racing forward and snapping it in half with a jumping roundhouse kick. For a few seconds, Eli can do nothing but stare at the broken board, something shifting inside of him.

After that, Eli decides maybe it’s time to give karate another go. Something about the way Demetri positively shone onstage--how genuinely happy all of it seemed to make him--makes him thing it can’t be so bad, even if he does get taunted for his lip again.

He stops by the dojo the following week, gathering up every ounce of courage he has to ask that mean blonde man how he goes about joining the dojo again. He’s hoping against hope that maybe, after all these months of teaching students and a tournament win under his belt, the edge of his pathetic cruelty will at least have been taken off.

No such luck. Upon seeing Eli walk into the dojo, Johnny greets him with “Hey, Lip is back! Real world not treat you as nicely as you thought?” The two are, regrettably, completely alone in the dojo. Eli sucks in his breath--Demetri isn’t around, so if anyone is going to defend him, it’ll have to be him himself.

“Could you please not call me that?” His voice shakes as he says it, but nonetheless, he finishes the statement. It occurs to him that not once in his (admittedly brief) stay in Cobra Kai did he simply...request that Sensei Lawrence not call him Lip. Demetri’s approach was always to get angry about it, go off on the sensei about how wrong it was to mock someone’s appearance, but Eli himself had never been the one to make a case for Sensei Lawrence to treat him better.

It hardly helped. Sensei Lawrence just claimed that if he didn’t want him to call him Lip, he shouldn’t have a freaky lip, and then went on to claim whoever did his cleft lip surgery must have done an awful job. Eli attempted to move away from the topic, but Sensei Lawrence didn’t let up. “It’s hard to when it’s right in front of me. Hard to believe Demetri was so willing to defend you like some knight in shining armor or some shit. You’re pathetic.” Having heard enough, Eli storms out, anger overtaking him. How could he have been so stupid, to think this was going to go any better? Why did he think that just because this man had been willing to help Miguel and Demetri (who were normal) become badass meant he would extend the same treatment to the freak with the lip scar?

Eli calls Demetri in tears. “I don’t know how you can train with someone like him,” Eli spits out. “He’s a shit person, Demetri. I--I don’t know what you and Miguel are thinking. It’s like he gets some kind of...I don’t know, sadistic pleasure out of bullying people. He’s not any better than the people he claims he’s trying to help you fight.”

Demetri, to his horror, reacts only with scorn, scoffing and rolling his eyes. “God, all this drama because he was mean about your lip again? Jesus christ, grow a backbone, Eli. I hate to say it, but I think Mr. Lawrence was right--if you can’t even handle someone making some insensitive comments about your scar, how are you going to handle an elbow to the teeth? Or any training more intensive than a slap on the wrist, anyway?”

Eli can do nothing but just stare at him through the screen. Demetri, the one person who he has always been able to count on to not comment on his scar, the one person who has always comforted him or talked him through it when he cried, is brushing him completely off--being an asshole about the one thing Eli was certain he never would be. Why is Demetri, of all people, not taking his side on this?

All Eli knows for sure is that he doesn’t like this new version of Demetri one bit. What happened to the best friend who was always willing to fight for him, no matter what it took? Now, he seems more concerned with looking cool and tough and upkeeping some kind of ridiculous reputation than Eli’s own well-being.

Over the next few days, a rage he didn’t know he even had in him bubbles up inside Eli. He decides if Demetri’s going to play dirty, so is he. And maybe, if Eli plays his cards right, the old Demetri will come back.

Despite his long-standing frustration with the way adults treat him--delicately, condescendingly, like a Thing of Pity--Eli figures he can get some use out of it for once. If this is the only way they’re going to see him regardless, he might as well use it to his advantage. And so he goes crying to his mom, who he knows for a fact other adults talk about being a “valued member of the community” and probably has some influence and some strings she can pull. He bawls to her about how his best friend has turned into an unrecognizable jerk, all because he’s training with a middle-aged man with the mindset of a high school bully who has no issue verbally abusing his students. Sure enough, discussions are had with the Neighborhood Committee, phone calls are placed, and Eli overhears his mother vowing to shut down that degenerate karate place if it’s the last thing she ever does.

Meanwhile, back at the dojo, Kreese makes an announcement. The elderly, intimidating man has recently teamed up with Johnny to teach--and he gives Demetri the creeps, if he’s honest, but he seems to know his stuff when it comes to karate, so Demetri goes along with this new addition to the sensei roster. However, when Johnny goes off to visit his high school friends and leaves the kids alone with the new Sensei, Demetri can’t help but feel uneasy.

“Now, the dojo’s been getting some concerned phone calls,” Kreese says, arms crossed and expression difficult to read. He doesn’t seem to be angry--if anything, he looks faintly amused. “Parents of the local teenagers are worried. They think Cobra Kai is full of bullies. Think our methods are...abusive, even. They want to shut us down.” Worried murmurs start to echo around the room, but Kreese silences them as he goes on. “Oh, don’t worry. It won’t be a problem. I have my ways of talking people down. We know better, anyhow. They’re just...intimidated by us, because we’ve honed skills here they couldn’t even dream of having. But nonetheless...” Kreese smirks in a way that makes Demetri feels ever-so-slightly unnerved. “If you run into one of your little peers whining to your parents about getting rid of us, well...show them Cobra Kai can’t be messed with so easily.”

And suddenly Demetri’s seething, because he knows exactly who made sure those phone calls got made.

Eli, for all his timidness, is notoriously smart. Demetri knows this intimately. He’d hardly put it past Eli to be this cunning, to manipulate the pitying adults around him to get what he wants.

When the Cobra Kai kids take a trip to the mall later that day, Demetri knows exactly where Eli will be. Every Wednesday, a new issue of Dungeon Lord comes out--they used to go get it together, but since getting into karate, Demetri hasn’t been keeping up. Demetri would figure someone like Eli wouldn’t have the balls to go out in public alone, if not for the fact that he knew how invested Eli was in the current plot.

And so Demetri heads to the comic book store, a group of reluctant Cobra Kai “pledges” in tow. Maybe it’s a bit sadistic, but he likes having someone to be able to boss around--it feels nice to be at the top of the food chain for once. Lord knows it’s the first time that’s happened. And if he isn’t going to milk that tournament win for all it’s worth, then what even is the point?

When Demetri arrives, Eli turns to look at him in confusion. “What are you doing here?” he says, lip curling slightly. “I figured you were too tough for this kind of stuff now.”

Demetri just scoffs and crosses his arms. “Well, Mr. Kreese said the dojo’s been getting some calls from weepy parents concerned we’re bullying their poor kids. Saying our Senseis must be some evil, abusive monsters twisting and corrupting the neighborhood teenagers. So I think you know exactly why I’m here.”

Eli just looks at him with a doe-eyed innocence that makes his blood boil. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Demetri advances on him, eyes flashing. “Don’t bullshit me, Eli. I know you’ve been meddling.”

To his surprise, Eli looks up to meet his gaze evenly, pretense of naiveté completely gone. “And what if I have? I don’t like the influence they’re having on you.”

Well, Demetri doesn’t know what that’s supposed to mean, but he doesn’t like it. “What is it about Cobra Kai that’s got you in such a tiffy, huh? You’re jealous I found a way to fight back and actually protect us? You don’t like that I’m not a pathetic loser you can look down your nose at anymore?”

Eli just looks at him in bewilderment. “Jesus, no, that’s not it at all, dude. Just...do you even hear yourself? You’ve turned into such an asshole since you started all that karate shit. It’s like I don’t even know you anymore. You walk around thinking you’re hot shit and everyone has to bow down to you all because your dojo won some stupid tournament. Well, news flash, Demetri--nobody cares.”

The callous way Eli, of all people, says it can’t help but throw him off. Is that really what his best friend thinks about him now--that he’s just some arrogant prick strutting around flaunting his success?

And then Demetri remembers how he got here--what it was that pushed him to be such a hard-assed fighter in the first place--and he feels a wave of venom coarse through him so powerful that he nearly chokes on it. Before he knows it he’s grabbing Eli by the shoulders and shoving him up against the wall.

“You fucking ungrateful brat,” he spits out, his words poison. “I did it all for you, you know. Everything I did was so that I could finally protect you. And this is how you thank me? After I’ve been getting my ass kicked over and over again so you wouldn’t have to worry about bullies anymore?”

Eli is surprisingly unfazed. “And where was I when you were learning to be such a good protector, Demetri? Getting shit on as a tool to motivate you? Nobody bothering to check how I felt about that? A real good bodyguard you turned out to be.”

“And yet Kyler and his little posse haven’t bothered you once. Who do you think that’s thanks to?”

“Miguel too. You don’t get all the credit. And anyhow, not like it matters when your Senseis would just as soon take the same cheap shots.”

Demetri just curls his lip. “Don’t get mad at me because you were too weak to survive Cobra Kai. Because...what, a middle-aged karate teacher hurt your feelings? I’d like to see how you go about taking a real fist to the jaw.”

Demetri raises a fist as if to demonstrate. Eli flinches, anger and defiance suddenly completely gone as his eyes widen in horror.

“You’d actually hurt me?” he asks softly.

Demetri slowly lowers his fist, realizing the answer as soon as he sees the terrified look in his friend’s eyes.

“Consider this your warning, Eli,” he spits out, with as much venom as he can manage. “Don’t mess around with Cobra Kai, or things are going to get ugly.” He smirks--a little sadistically, he has to admit. “You saw the tournament. Well...you’d better believe that’s the least of what I can do.”

When a downtrodden Eli shows up at Daniel LaRusso’s front door, timidly requesting to learn karate, far be it from Daniel to turn away a new student. Eli’s sob story about how he’s being bullied and threatened by his best friend only makes the new sensei more determined to take him under his wing--Daniel is no stranger to bullying, after all.

The next time Cobra Kai goes on an outing to the mall, Demetri catches Eli in the food court, eating with Samantha LaRusso and that kid whose ass he kicked at the tournament--Robby Keene, was his name? Mr. Lawrence’s kid. This seems...odd. How would Eli have met them?

An unexpected wave of jealousy rips through him. How did shy little Eli manage to make other friends? Let alone with an ex popular girl, of all people. Nonetheless, he figures this might be a good time to make sure his ex-friend isn’t trying to start any more shit with Cobra Kai.

He catches Eli in the deli line, sliding up behind him and purring, “Oh, I hope you haven’t been poking your nose where it doesn’t belong, have you, Eli?”

Eli turns and glares at him with a venom Demetri didn’t know the other boy had in him. “Why, Demetri? Scared your precious Cobra Kai is going to lose all its coolness cred if it gets out how shitty you all are?”

Demetri seethes with anger again, and before he knows it, he’s shoving Eli out of the line and ramming him up against one of the pillars on the edge of the food court. The crowd of eaters around them “Oooooh”s, but Demetri ignores them. He raises a fist again, fully prepared to follow through this time. “I’d watch your mouth, if I were you.”

Eli just curls his lip, more defiant than Demetri’s ever seen him. “You don’t scare me, Demetri. I know who you really are.”

The Cobra Kai pledges start to loom behind them, ready to provide Demetri with backup if needed. Eli notices and scoffs. “Wow, siccing your goons on me too? Way to set up a fair fight, Demetri. You’re so badass.”

Struck by a sudden desire to prove him wrong, Demetri socks Eli in the jaw before he can think better of it. He pauses afterwards, momentarily shaken by what he’s done.

To his dismay, Eli’s horrified shock is short lived before he laughs darkly. “Well, you’re not the only one who knows karate now. I joined Miyagi-Do.”

Demetri just scoffs. Ah yes, a little karate training and Eli, of all people, is going to kick some major ass. “All right then. Let’s see what you got.” He takes a step back, allowing Eli to try and get a hit in.

When the fight breaks out in full force, it’s vicious. Eli throws the first hit, but it’s weak--he’s out of practice since abandoning Cobra Kai. Demetri has him on the ground in seconds, throwing punches and kicks with a speed and rage he had no idea he had. Eli barely has time to get up before he’s getting his ass handed to him.

What Demetri doesn’t count on is Eli’s new dojomates coming to his rescue, getting the smaller boy behind them and executing a near-perfect synchronized fighting routine. Even with his lackeys helping him, Demetri is completely annihilated--nearly unconscious on the food court floor within minutes. The last thing he sees before he passes out is Eli staring down at him, blue eyes wide with horror.

When word of the incident at the mall gets back to Moon, shit hits the fan--to put it lightly. Yasmine is with Moon when she confronts Demetri, but she doesn’t say anything--just stands glaring with her arms crossed while Moon goes off at him. “How could you treat Eli like that? He’s your friend!”

“Not anymore.” Demetri curls his lip. “He joined Miyagi-Do. He’s made it pretty clear where his loyalties lie now, and it’s not with me.”

“Who cares about Miyagi-Do?” She retorts. “He’s still your friend! Our friend! And I don’t like the way you’re bullying him.”

Demetri scoffs. “Don’t you get it? He’s just a pathetic nerd who can’t handle the fact that I’m cooler than him now. All he wants to do is drag me down to his level again, I guarantee it.”

Moon’s gaze is more poisonous than he’s ever seen it. She turns to Yasmine. “Tell him, Yas,” she says, her tone dangerously quiet.

Yasmine sighs. She says--with notable hesitation, Demetri notices--“If you don’t stop bullying Eli, we’re through.”

Thrown off, Demetri laughs harshly. “What do you care? You don’t even like Eli! I see those...disgusted looks you shoot in his direction, when you think we won’t notice.”

Yasmine bites her lip. “That doesn’t matter. Moon is my best friend. If she’s not okay with this whole...thing, then neither am I.”

“You’re not fucking serious. You’re dumping me because your bleeding-hearted friend told you I wasn’t being nice enough to a guy you can’t stand?”

Yasmine pauses, but ultimately stands her ground. “I’m sorry, but if it’s between you and Moon, it’s going to be Moon. So her word goes. So either stop with this whole stupid feud with Eli, or we’re finished.”

“I...” Demetri can only stare at her, shocked. He never could have imagined getting this ultimatum...and yet here he is.

He must have hesitated a second too long, because Moon grabs Yasmine’s arm and starts to pull her away. “I think that’s all the answer we need,” Moon hisses.

“Wait!” he called helplessly after them. Yasmine turns around once as she walks away, but only to spit “It’s over!” over her shoulder. As if for good measure.

Kreese finds Demetri circling a punching bag in the back of the dojo, spinning around it and throwing kicks and punches faster than cobra strikes. Seizing his opportunity, he advances. “What’s wrong, son?”

Demetri turns, tensing. He’s still wary of the man, but to hell with it--it’s not like he has anyone else to talk to. “Fight broke out with Miyagi-Do, and we lost. Pathetic, I know. Please don’t rub it in.”

“Cheer up.” Kreese smirks. “The fight isn’t over until you say it is.”

Demetri just sighs. “No use going in for a rematch. They’re strong. I couldn’t take them again on my own.”

Kreese’s smirk widens. “You’re a smart kid. There are other ways to fight back, you know. You don’t always have to beat them into the ground.”

As he leaves, Demetri lets that sink in.

Well, Demetri is nothing if not tech-savvy. May as well make some use of that Yelp Elite status. He spends hours setting up dozens of sock puppet accounts, programming them to post terrible review after terrible review blasting everything he can think of about Miyagi-Do. The encouragement of violence in youth (Eli had technically punched first, hadn’t he?). The weak, subpar fighting style that broke down as soon as it was challenged by serious fighters. The pretentious, culture-appropriating sensei. Daniel LaRacist indeed.

During the Coyote Creek excursion, Demetri finds himself pitted against Miguel, fighting in the world’s most intense game of what essentially boils down to Capture the Flag. Demetri, about to get the better of Miguel, finds that he can’t help but gloat about his little online attack. Can’t be long before a one-star dojo goes out of business.

When Miguel seems to take issue with it, saying the whole thing is mean-spirited and over the top, Demetri can’t help but scoff. Miyagi-Do has been plenty clear in declaring war--their little battalion at the mall proved that. Demetri wishes Miguel wasn’t still too caught up in pining over Sam LaRusso to realize that.

Miguel, meanwhile, decides this dojo war of sorts is getting out of hand. It turns out Demetri isn’t the only tech-savvy student in Cobra Kai--Miguel designed their website, after all. With a little bit of basic internet coding and some rudimentary hacking, he manages to access the sock puppet accounts Demetri made and take the bad reviews down. He even goes so far as to go over to the Miyagi-Do dojo and personally apologize for how Cobra Kai has been acting, telling Robby Keene that he found out who blasted the bad reviews and took them all down. “We’re not all assholes.”

Come Moon’s end-of-summer party, Demetri is surprised to get an invitation. He hasn’t seen her or Yasmine since they both chewed him out, and Yasmine ended things. But perhaps this is a show of good faith. Maybe Moon wants to be friends again--and maybe that means Yasmine’s come to her senses too, and might be willing to talk things out.

Moon welcomes him when he arrives, previous animosity gone for the moment. “Hey, thank you for inviting me. I’m...sorry,” he starts. “Of how we left things off. I was an ass to you and Yas.” “It’s alright,” Moon replies cheerily. “I invited you because...well, I’m hoping that before school starts, we can stop all the fighting and be friends again.”

His heart sinks as he sees Sam LaRusso lead a stream of kids through the door, Eli trailing at the end, and he realizes exactly what she means. The Miyagi-Dos are here.

He sits forlornly on a couch with Mitch and Aisha, thinking about how much worse this night just got. He brightens, however, when he sees a shock of blonde hair at the door not long after. So Yasmine came after all.

Moon grins in delight, calling over to her. Taking a breath, Demetri stands up and approaches the two girls, determined to smooth things over with them both.

He’s not surprised to see Yasmine make a beeline for Moon, not noticing him for the moment. What he isn’t expecting is for Moon to sweep Yasmine into her arms, kissing her full on the mouth.

Demetri stops in his tracks. The girls turn to him a few seconds later, seeming to notice him for the first time. They look at him expectantly, as though waiting for him to finish walking over to them. Or say something, and not just stand there gawking stupidly.

“Uh...are you two...um...like...uh...” All he can do is shuffle closer and gesture abstractly, not able to find words. Yasmine blushes and looks away, while Moon tucks a hair behind her ear, her smile strained.

“Yeah. It’s new,” she admits, laughing nervously. “We’re, um...”

“Girlfriends?” Yasmine offers, looking up and smiling at Moon with uncharacteristic shyness. Demetri can’t help but bristle--shyness she never showed him.

Well, far be it from him to be judgmental. Even if Yasmine broke his damn heart just now, Moon is still his friend. He gives them a strained smile. “That’s...that’s great! Happy for you two. No shame in uh...trying out something like that.”

Demetri excuses himself and sulks back to the now-empty couch, mind racing as he sits down. Is that why Moon was trying to encourage Yasmine to break up with him? Was it even about Eli at all? Did Moon just want Yasmine for herself? It seemed unlike Moon, but who could say?

And Yasmine...had she always wanted Moon, too? Is that why she seethed every time she saw Eli shooting lovestruck glances at her friend?

...had she even ever liked Demetri at all, or was he just a cover-up for the fact that she was...lesbian? How was someone as feminine and fashionable as Yasmine a lesbian, anyways? All the lesbians Demetri saw on tv cut their hair boyishly short and had about 5 nose rings and walked around in leather jackets and combat boots.

His thoughts are interrupted by the last sweatered boy he wants to see taking a seat at the other side of the couch, glancing nervously at him with darting eyes. What did Eli want? And why was he so nervous? He’d been unduly bold as of late.

“You seen the new Doctor Who trailer?” Eli mutters.

Something about the nonchalant way he says it--like this is the olden days, when Demetri always felt like shit about himself and had no one who tolerated him but Eli--makes Demetri’s blood boil. He scoffs. “I have better things to do than watch nerd crap like that.”

A short silence. “Capaldi regenerated,” Eli offers finally. “I know you weren’t big on 12.”

No more Capaldi? Demetri turns to look at Eli, interest suddenly piqued.

“What’s the new doctor like?” he asks before he can stop himself.

Eli grins. “She’s a badass.”

“She?” Demetri finds himself grinning back. “How progressive of them. Welcome to the 21st century, Doctor Who.”

A sudden giggling catches his attention, and Demetri looks to where Yasmine and Moon are sharing a chair across the room, tangled up in each other’s arms and trading soft kisses like they don’t have a care in the world. He tenses.

Eli seems to sense his discomfort, and sighs. “Hey, I’m sorry, man. If it helps at all, I liked Moon a lot, too.”

Demetri just scoffs. “Yeah, but I guess it doesn’t matter now. They just have to be gay, right?”

Eli gives him a strange look. Demetri shuffles uncomfortably, realizing what he’s probably thinking about. The...incident, 4 years ago. Demetri glares at him, hoping to banish the thought before it arrives. None of that meant anything--they were just dumb kids. Dumb kids doing dumb shit that didn’t matter.

“I don’t know, I mean...if they’re happy together, shouldn’t we just be happy for them?”

Eli reaches out and squeezes his shoulder, and Demetri hesitates. Their special touch. Eli still remembers, even after everything that’s happened.

For a moment he’s overcome with longing, wishing things with Eli could just go back to how they used to be. Back when he knew no matter what hell he went through at school, Eli would always be there to pick him back up again. But then it sinks in what Eli’s really trying to say.

Be happy for them. What a bunch of Miyagi-Do bullshit. Just accept his sad little lot in life, just like he used to do. Go back to nerdy little Eli at the bottom of the food chain, doomed to spend the rest of his youth admiring pretty girls from a vast distance.

He never wants that to be him again.

“Oh, fuck you, Eli,” he spits, grabbing Eli’s hand and yanking it off of his shoulder. Eli freezes, looking like he’s just been slapped.

“What, so I’m supposed to do like you, moping and pining and hoping a pretty girl will look my way if I wish hard enough and just sucking it up when she doesn’t? Well, I’ve had plenty enough of that--I’ve been on the top. And I’m going to be on the top again. But you? You’ll always be pathetic--you and your entire sorry excuse for a dojo.”

He gets up and walks away, bristling with an anger he can’t even fully place anymore.

As Eli watches Demetri go, he realizes he’s finally had enough. Demetri doesn’t want to patch things up? He just wants to keep being an arrogant shithead? Fine. But Eli’s not about to take his prodding and insults anymore.

Eli makes his way over to Moon--still his friend, despite the unreciprocated feelings--and Yasmine, strikes up a conversation with them. Yasmine, he notices, is being notably nicer to him--probably at Moon’s request. They get to talking about sexualities, and Eli accidentally lets a little something slip about Demetri.

When they were 12 years old, they had kissed. It was Eli who suggested they practiced kissing, to get ready for all the girls they would inevitably date. However, a bit of choice wording and it sounded like Demetri had planted one on Eli out of nowhere...and Eli, of course, hadn’t liked it one bit, because he was totally straight. “You can’t tell anyone, though,” he pleaded the girls, big sad eyes every bit as convincing as he had hoped. “Demetri doesn’t want it to get out that he’s...you know. Gay. He’s worried it’ll ruin his reputation.”

Moon nods sincerely, but Eli can tell from the almost imperceptible smirk on Yasmine’s face that she has other plans. If there’s one thing he’s learned about Demetri’s ex over the last few months, it’s that even trying to be a better person, she can’t resist a good bit of juicy gossip.

And from what Eli gathers...two girls dating? No problem, as long as they’re hot and popular. At least creepy guys can fetishize it. But guys liking other guys? Now that...Eli has a feeling that won’t go over well.

As soon as Eli excuses himself, Yasmine gets to work. A few whispers at the snack table when Moon isn’t looking, and news of Demetri’s supposed orientation spread like wildfire.

Demetri, meanwhile, is determined to prove Eli wrong. So what if Yas doesn’t want him anymore (or never did, the mean voice in his head keeps prodding)? He’ll find another hot girl to have on his arm. He’s a top Cobra Kai fighter, after all--it’s not like it’ll be difficult.

He saunters over to a group of girls, leaning up against the wall in what he thinks has to be a very suave way. “Hey ladies,” he says. “Name’s Demetri. I’m sure you’ve heard about me--seasoned Cobra Kai fighter, finalist in the All-Valley tournament. But no need to be intimidated--if any of you beautiful ladies ever need a hand with anything, I’ll--”

“Take it off of the nearest dick to help us out?” one of the girls cuts him off. They all break out in snickers. “No thanks.”

Demetri freezes. Why would they think...?

Then he realizes there’s only one person who could have made them think he was into that sort of thing.

He tenses. “I don’t know what you’ve heard, but--”

“We’ve heard all we need to,” another girl says, eyeing him up in disgust. “Not interested in getting it on with someone who’s probably had his cock up another guy’s ass, to be blunt. Gross.” Before Demetri can say another word, the girls are gone, turning and slinking hurriedly off into the crowd.

Every time Demetri tries his luck with another girl, he gets similar rebuffs. And every time, he seethes a little more. Fucking figured--timid little Eli couldn’t take the fact that Demetri had worked up the confidence to win over a girl and he hadn’t, so he had to ruin Demetri’s chances with every other girl so he’d feel better.

Besides, Demetri remembers that day from 4 years ago. He remembers that Eli was just as into...all the stuff they did.

Unfortunately, before Demetri has a chance to go over and confront Eli about the whole business, the cops show up. He’ll just have to wait until school, he figures.

Meanwhile, word gets back to Sam that Miguel showed up at her door, apologizing and promising he took all the bad reviews down--apparently Robby didn’t relay any of this to her. When Miguel admits to Demetri about the drunken kiss, Demetri chuckles, slapping him on the back. “My man! Trying to build up a whole harem here, are we?”

Miguel sighs, looking sullen. “I cheated, dude. That’s shitty.”

And then comes the PA announcement. Tory Nichols is starting shit, and Demetri can’t pretend he’s not intrigued to see where this goes.

As soon as the fight breaks out, Demetri is overcome with adrenaline. He whips through the crowd, spinning and throwing kicks and punches like explosive flashes. All he can think of is Eli, Eli, little Eli...oh, when he finds him, there’s going to be hell to pay.

And it doesn’t take long--of course Eli is the one who tries to pull a teacher in to stop the fight. The fucking wimp.

When Eli makes a run for it, Demetri can’t help but smirk when he leads him straight to the computer lab. How very typical, for someone whose hero is Steve Jobs. He grins, something frighteningly sadistic bubbling up inside of him.

For a second it almost scares him, how badly he wants to drive his foot into Eli’s chest.

“Little Eli Moskowitz!” he taunts, before he can stop himself. “Cowering away in the computer lab, just like the little nerd he is. Can’t hide forever, outer. I know damn well what you told them about me.”

He tries door after door, continuing in a singsong voice as he goes. “Oh dear me, what would they say if they knew you enjoyed it too, Eli? Well, I guess they won’t believe me now. But I know. I know you’re no better than me.”

Ever since they were kids, Demetri has been the speedier one. They used to race across the playground at recess, pretending to be Quicksilver and the Flash, but Demetri always came out ahead. Long, gangly legs tended to do that. So when Eli turns to see Demetri in the doorway, and he makes a run for it, he doesn’t get far.

Demetri grabs Eli around the waist and throws him against the wall, whipping kicks and hits into his stomach and thighs faster than he can block. Demetri hardly notices the bruises forming, or the bleeding cuts.

It’s then that Eli does something Demetri doesn’t expect--flips the script, as it were. As Demetri reaches out to strike again, Eli surges forward and grabs him by the shoulders, flipping him around and pinning him against the wall. Maybe Miyagi-Do specializes in defense, but they still taught him how to throw a good hit or two. He throws defense to the wayside and starts raining punches down on Demetri--sloppy, uncoordinated, but something the “Strike First” Cobra Kai student is entirely unprepared to defend.

When his chest is stinging and his head throbbing, Demetri can’t take anymore. Eli was a lot more...well, powerful than he expected. At his first opportunity, he turns and books it. Maybe this isn’t a fight he can win after all.

Eli doesn’t chase. As angry as he still is at Demetri, he can’t stop thinking about the mars and bruises and cuts that appeared across Demetri’s face and skin as he punched him, mirroring his own, and he feels sick. He can’t hurt Demetri anymore, no matter what Demetri thinks of him now.

Demetri just makes it to the staircase when he sees Miguel motionless on the floor, Robby Keene looking over the railing. Sam LaRusson hovering over him. He runs to Miguel’s side, world crumbling around him.

Turns out he showed mercy, just like Mr. Lawrence always said to. And look where it got him. When John Kreese offers him a place in a new Cobra Kai, determined to make the Miyagi-Dos pay for hurting Miguel, Demetri isn’t about to say no.

In his grief, it seems like the only option.

Season 3

On the first day back at school, Mitch is quick to remind Demetri that there are other girls in the world besides Yasmine. Surely it won’t be too hard to work his charms on some of the freshmen--after all, word about that little incident with Eli when they were 12 can’t have gotten across the entire school, can it?

“Well, hello, ladies!” he purrs to a passing group, leaning against the wall in the most nonchalant way possible. “Welcome to West Valley High. I know freshman year can be intimidating, high school classes and new people and all, but if you ever need help with anything, I’m--”

“--the scrawny little gay kid who ran his pussy ass away from the world’s easiest fight?” one of the girls finishes scornfully. “Yeah, we know.”

As they walk away, he notices one shoot a flirty smile at a passing Eli, surrounded by his squad of Miyagi-Do losers. “Ooooh, you’re famous now, E!” he hears Chris say, and his blood boils all over again.

Ah. So everyone knew about Eli’s little triumph.

Mitch saunters over, and Demetri follows his lead. “Got something to say?!” he snaps.

Demetri’s eyes lock with Eli’s, and he glowers down at him. Eli’s face is tight, expression almost...sad.

Not like he’d expect anything less from that little crybaby.

“Oh, little Eli,” he chides. “I’d like to see you try and hide behind security.”

“I don’t need to,” Eli mutters, not breaking eye contact.

“Everything all right here?”

At the sound of the counselor’s voice, Eli does something unexpectedly bold. He sidles up to Demetri’s side and presses into it, throwing an arm around his shoulder. “No, Counselor Blatt, we’re all friends here!” he says, offering that shy little Eli smile that made every adult in a nearby vicinity go mad with protectiveness.

Eli’s arm is tight around his neck--like a chokehold. But, Demetri notices after a few moments, it’s shaking--the grip almost frantic. Like he’s scared of when he’ll have to let go.

Odd.

Demetri turns, and his and Eli’s eyes lock. He tries to give the shorter boy the most intense, seething glare he can under his forced smile, but Eli returns the look with equal intensity. Demetri jostles his backpack his backpack and thumps him on the chest, feeling an odd compulsion to touch his old friend right back.

Maybe he missed feeling Eli’s body underneath him. But that wasn’t a thought he could afford to spend a lot of brainpower on right now. “Yeah!” he says. Of course we’re still friends! Of course you didn’t fuck up my love life and humiliate me to the entire school because you couldn’t handle the fact that I was getting some and you weren’t!

When the counselor chides them about having somewhere to be, Eli just nods, murmuring, “Yeah, of course, Counselor Blatt. Sorry.”

As Eli pulls away, he pats Demetri’s shoulder a couple times. Small, almost imperceptible, but there.

Demetri can’t tell if it’s serious--if Eli still cares--or if it’s just a cruel mockery of their old touch. He’s not sure he wants to know.

When Demetri runs into Samantha LaRusso in the hospital and she insists she wants to help, he hardly expects a whole fucking fundraiser gleefully using Miguel as their poster child. As though the Miyagi-Dos weren’t the ones who put him in the hospital in the first place. When he catches a glimpse of the carwash while driving Mitch to practice, he decides he’s going to do something about it.

Beating up the kid is an easy fight, getting the money with Mitch and the others a sinch. Maybe at some point he would’ve felt bad for this--pummeling some short kid and then taking his charity money. But all he can think of is Miguel, his best friend, lying in a white gown and hooked up to wires. Because of this kid and his stupid “peaceful” dojo.

Peaceful, Demetri’s ass.

When Demetri walks into the cafeteria the following Monday, he’s not sure what he expects to see at Yasmine and Moon’s table, the place where he would be sitting, under different circumstances--but it definitely is not Eli Moskowitz with his hair dyed bright blue and spiked up. Miyagi-Do blue. Apparently all that coolness cred he felt he got from “scaring” Demetri off in the school brawl has gotten to his head, and he’s playing out his new “badassery” up to 11. He’s showing something to Yasmine and Moon, and they’re smiling and giggling. Yasmine, of all people, is smiling at nerdy little Eli’s antics.

Demetri squints, and sees that Eli’s showing the two girls a comic book--he recognizes the copy. It’s Eli’s limited edition Captain Marvel comic book, signed by Kelly Sue DeConnick herself. Demetri remembers standing in line with him at a con to get it a few years back--he’s pretty protective of the thing.

And now he’s using it to impress girls? Because apparently Yasmine and Moon are into that kind of thing? Oh, but of course Yasmine couldn’t be into nerd shit when DEMETRI was dating her, could she?

And those gooey eyes Moon is giving Eli, her little giggles--Demetri doesn’t like them one bit. What, now Eli’s worth her affections--now that his “nerdiness” is cool? Aren’t she and Yasmine a stupid item, anyways?

Deciding he’s going to put a stop to this, Demetri saunters over, lunch tray clutched so hard his knuckles are turning white. Before the group can react to his presence, Demetri picks up his chocolate milk carton and dumps it all over Eli’s stupid blue hair, making sure to get plenty on the rare comic book in front of him.

“Oh, I hope that wasn’t important, was it Eli?” he taunts, voice thick with mock sympathy. “That sure would be a shame.”

Eli turns to look at him, eyes wide with heartbroken shock. For a moment, the anger doesn’t set in.

“I had to wait in line 5 hours to get that,” he says quietly. “You know that.”

“Sure do.” Demetri smirks. “And it took all of 5 seconds to completely ruin. How tragic.”

Eli tenses, eyes darting around for a couple seconds. Demetri starts to walk away, his point made, when he feels an iron grip on his wrist. He turns to see Eli smirking at him, clutching his arm with more force than he ever thought possible from the once-timid boy.

“Careful there, Demetri,” Eli sneers. “Coming all the way across the cafeteria to bother me when you’ve got your cool Cobra Kai friends to hang out with? People might think you’re a little...obsessed with me.” Yasmine and Moon snicker, and Demetri bristles as he realizes the implication.

“Although I shouldn’t be surprised since you love obsessing over other boys, don’t you?” Eli goes on, like his point isn’t clear enough. “Y’know, I feel bad for Yasmine. I mean, any idiot could tell she used you as a beard, but I had no idea it was a mutual thing.”

Demetri tenses, willing himself not to lose his cool. “Really letting that little victory get to your head, aren’t you, Eli? Honestly, I was going easy on you. Now I know not to next time.”

It’s at that moment that Sam LaRusso decides to show up, sliding up next to Eli and glowering up at Demetri. “There won’t be a next time if I have anything to say about it,” she retorts.

Demetri can’t help but scoff. Of course Sam LaRusso would be all too eager to defend her little pet nerd now, even though she was all too happy to laugh at him with her mean girl friends a year ago. “I’m not scared of you,” he says. “Like you’d start any fight daddy couldn’t bail you out of. Or that doesn’t end with your ex boyfriend getting thrown over a railing because you couldn’t keep your hands to yourself.”

It’s a low blow, but Demetri doesn’t care. It’s hard not to look at this girl and see part of the reason Miguel might never be able to walk again.

Sam LaRusso shoves him just as the godawful counselor is sauntering over, but to hell with it--maybe Demetri could spin this to his advantage.

“She hit me, Counselor Blatt!” he cries out, pointing at Sam. “Attacked and physically assaulted me, completely unprovoked!”

“That’s not true,” Eli mumbles, eyes darting. Flawlessly slipping back into the poor little Eli role in a way that never fails to make Demetri seethe. “It wasn’t unprovoked. He started all this by destroying my limited-edition comic book for no reason.”

Demetri puts on his most convincing remorseful face and sighs. “Look, that was an accident. I just tripped while I was walking and my milk spilled. Anyhow, if your book’s that valuable, you probably shouldn’t bring it into a school cafeteria where people are more than likely going to spill food on it.”

He’d like to see the dumb counselor argue with that.

“Look, I don’t want excuses. I just want you all to respect each other.”

“Oh, absolutely.” Demetri turns to give Eli a forced smile. “Nothing but 100% respect in this environment going forward, I assure you. Sorry if we caused any problems.”

Please, just anything to make her leave.

With one last warning to Sam LaRusso, the counselor is gone. Demetri turns to the two Miyagi-Dos and smirks.

“To hell with respect,” he sneers. “Your lot hardly deserve it.”

It doesn’t surprise Demetri when Eli and his little gang of Miyagi-Do losers decide to start shit in gym class. What he isn’t expecting is for Eli and his stupid blue hair to start running next to him--right after he’s tried and failed to catch Yasmine’s attention after scoring a goal.

He’s been thinking about her all morning--was Eli right about her? Did she only use him as a cover-up?

...would no one ever want to date him for him?

Well, maybe if he won Yasmine back, he could disprove that. If Moon was going to be hanging off of Eli’s arm before too long, chances were her and Yasmine’s relationship’s days were numbered.

Whatever Eli is about to say, Demetri can already tell it’s not going to help.

And it doesn’t. “Wow, Demetri. Few guys are so bad in a relationship that they manage to turn their girlfriend gay. I hope you feel accomplished.”

Demetri balls his fists. “Say that again. I dare you.”

“You really did have a good thing going with her,” Eli sighed, voice laced with condescending pity. “It’s a shame she decided she could do better than some belligerent Cobra Kai douchebag.”

And then suddenly Eli lunges for him and tackles him, knocking him to the ground just as easily as Demetri once did to Eli at the mall.

Not that it ended up mattering all that much--Demetri was able to talk the Cobra Kai’s way out of trouble in the principal’s office, just as he so often could. Nonetheless, it seemed Eli was hardly turning out to be as much of a pushover as he thought.

When Mitch and the guys invited Demetri to go to Golf N Stuff--fuck around for a bit, cause some mayhem--he wasn’t about to say no. The thrill took over, running around, snatching tickets and prizes away, throwing them in the trash--he almost felt as powerful as Kyler must have, all those months ago when he tossed the lesser kids’ backpacks in the garbage. Is this how it felt, to be on top? To have everyone else too scared to mess with you?

Because Demetri loved it.

What he wasn’t counting on was Sam LaRusso and her little posse arriving to confront them in the laser tag arena--including Eli, face hardened and ready to fight.

Things seemed to be going pretty poorly--that was, until Tory Nichols and the backup arrived. That reduced Sam LaRusso to a sniveling mess, and finally it looked like this would be an easy finish.

Demetri found himself only stalling for a second when the way cleared for him to go at Eli. Something about the sudden terror on the other boy’s face made him hesitate, but not for long. Eli threw a weak punch, and Demetri quickly flipped him onto the ground, pulling his arm up behind him.

“No, please, stop, Deme, stop! It’s me!”

Deme...

Eli’s old nickname for him.

Demetri pauses, and suddenly he feels sick. Deme...Eli’s nickname. Eli.

Wasn’t all of this for Eli? To protect Eli?

And now here he was, about to hurt him. The one thing he swore he was going to stop everyone else from doing.

And then comes the goading cries from Tory, Mitch, and the others. Do it! Finish him! He deserves it!

He deserves it.

And then Demetri remembers what happened to Miguel when he didn’t take his chance to finish the fight with Robby Keene. Suddenly Demetri’s running out of the end of a hallway again, seeing Miguel’s motionless body lying on the stairs, and the rage and horror and mind-numbing devastation hit him all over again.

“Demetri, finish him!”

In a split second, Demetri makes his decision. Eli’s arm snaps in half.

All it takes is one terrible, pained scream from Eli for Demetri’s entire world to come crashing down on him. What the fuck did he just do?

He can’t even hear the other Cobras, gleefully congratulating him and sneering at the “pussy” on the floor. All he can hear are Eli’s pained sobs.

He’d seen Eli cry before, but never like this. Never thanks to him.

When everyone congratulates him next practice, Demetri barely hears. He’s just numb. All he can see is Eli, curled up and crying on the dirty cement floor. When Tory tells him she didn’t think he was going to do it, all he can manage out is that Miyagi-Do had it coming for hurting Miguel.

And as if his week can’t get any worse, here come Kyler and his goons sauntering into the dojo like they own the damn place. Demetri does his best to convince Mr. Kreese this is by no means a wise idea, but the sensei will not hear of it.

When Kyler and Brucks realize who he is, it only makes Demetri more livid. “Oh shit, it’s the yogurt backpack kid! Lip’s little friend! I thought he moved away!” When a fighting ring is formed, giving the new recruits a chance to “earn their spot,” Demetri is all too ready for combat.

He’s horrified at how quickly Brucks takes down Mitch, how quickly his friend is ushered out the door. It was bad enough to see Bert go, but this...this is different.

He can’t remember the last time he’s felt more alone.

When Kyler steps forward, looking for an opponent, Demetri volunteers before anyone else can. Mr. Kreese shoots him a surprised look, but he doesn’t care. This fucko has been making his life hell for years--he can already tell this is going to be therapeutic.

Demetri doesn’t hold back. The fight has barely started before Kyler’s had enough. A few fast hits and his lip’s already bloody, and he’s backing away. “No...please stop...”

And suddenly Demetri’s back in the library, on that afternoon that seems like an eternity ago, watching Kyler grip Eli by the throat. Hearing him sneer “who would ever want to kiss THAT shit?” like Eli was the most disgusting thing he’d ever seen. Feeling absolutely powerless, hand clutching the back of a chair as he burned with rage that had nowhere to go.

Well, he wasn’t powerless now.

And before he knows it Demetri has Kyler pinned to the ground, landing punch after punch to his face. Because, he realizes, at the end of the day, who gives a fuck if Eli’s on the other side?

That’s still his Eli, even after everything. The same Eli he stood by for over 10 years, the same Eli who he wished so long that he could protect from everything, the same Eli who felt like he had to constantly hide a tiny red line on his face because his peers collectively decided--for no good reason at all--that it was ugly.

And maybe he couldn’t make those people hurt the way he wanted to then, but right now...well, he could hurt at least one. And that was enough.

He doesn’t stop until Kyler is practically pulverized and his hands are drenched in blood. After throwing his last punch, he smirks, leaning down to whisper into Kyler’s ear.

“Now who’d want to kiss THAT shit? That’s right, asshole--I remember.”

Demetri kicks Kyler’s limp form as he walks away. He shoots Brucks a glare as he falls back in line--just for good measure.

When Miguel comes back to school, Demetri’s one of the first to greet him at the door. “Cobra Kai’s still going strong! It’s going to be great to have you back!” He’s a little confused as to why Miguel seems so hesitant, but he doesn’t worry too much about it--they can sort through all that later.

Miguel’s certainly taken aback by the clunky cast he sees on Eli’s arm when he runs into him in the hall--but perhaps even moreso by the fact that he has both shamelessly dyed his hair blue and spiked it up in a mohawk and is currently walking the school hallways with Moon on his (unbroken) arm. As it turns out, once word got back to Moon that Yasmine was the one who had shamelessly whispered around the school about Demetri being gay, she had broken things off with her. And, with his new “coolness” upgrade, she’d taken quite a liking to Eli.

Not like she had any way of knowing he’d been planning on Yasmine’s cruel gossip, after all.

But the cast, Miguel quickly learns, has a much darker backstory than anything he could have expected.

He wastes no time confronting Demetri about it in the lunchroom. “I heard what happened with Eli. How could you do that?”

Demetri’s stomach clutches. He scowls, determined not to show his discomfort.

“Wow!” He scoffs. “We go to all the trouble of getting payback on those assholes for getting you thrown over that railing, and this is the thanks we get?”

Miguel shakes his head, horrified. “Dude, who cares what dojo Eli’s in? He’s our friend! And in any case, it’s not his fault what happened to me. What the hell were you thinking?”

I don’t know. I don’t know. Demetri’s face hardens. He can only imagine how angry Mr. Kreese would be with him if he caught him showing any kind of weakness. Any kind of second-guessing.

But he can’t help it. Glimpsing Eli in that cast for the first time...

“Look, the Miyagi-Dos were the ones who picked a fight with us,” Demetri retorts. “We just had to do what we had to so they’d back off and leave us alone. We had to finish the fight.”

Miguel pauses, looking pained. “This isn’t...this isn’t you, Demetri. You’re letting Kreese get in your head. He’s trying to manipulate you, get you to...obsess over revenge so you’ll hurt people. But I know you, and I know you don’t want to. Eli, or anyone else.”

Demetri clenches his fists. “What would you know about how I feel about Eli?”

“Look, I can’t claim I know what’s going on between you two,” Miguel amends. “But you have to believe me--Kreese is dangerous. He’s using you. He doesn’t care about you, Demetri. Just...come to Sensei Lawrence’s new dojo. Please. Things can be like they used to. You don’t have to be in this...this war.”

This gives Demetri pause. “He...made a new dojo?”

Okay, so he’s still not Mr. Lawrence’s biggest fan--the man is an asshole at the best of times. But to be able to train with Miguel again...to be able to be badass without being expected to be some soldier...

He can’t finish speaking before Brucks’s voice rings out through the cafeteria. “Look everyone, Lip’s got a dick in his hand!”

Demetri looks up to see Eli being held by the cast, eyes darting around as the entire cafeteria bursts into laughter. Involuntarily, Demetri bristles.

And there it is again, that feeling of being the helpless kid in the library as Eli’s taunted. And even after all this time...he still hates it.

Miguel turns to him, shaking his head. “So these are your friends now? I thought you were better than that.”

And just like that, Miguel’s gone. Gone from the Cobra Kai table, gone from Demetri’s life.

It makes him wonder if he’s making a huge mistake. But he knows he can’t back out now--not when he’s this far in. Who would even want to take him back? Probably not Miguel and Mr. Lawrence--despite what Miguel said, Demetri knows there’s no way he’s going to forgive him so easily for hurting their other friend. And certainly not Eli.

What makes it even worse is seeing Eli later that day, curled up against some lockers with Moon. Moon is tracing over his cast in colored sharpie, slowly transforming the dick pic into a beautiful landscape and night sky. Eli is bragging about how the arm-breaking didn’t hurt that bad.

Demetri remembers when that soft little smile was reserved only for him, and a pit starts to form in his stomach.

Well, no use bitching. You did this to yourself.

It seems like the world is out to just make Demetri’s existence in Cobra Kai as shitty as possible these days. Mitch and Bert are gone, Miguel isn’t coming back, Brucks is being a royal douchebag like always, and perhaps worst of all, Robby Keene shows up at the dojo. Demetri tries his damndest to appeal to Mr. Kreese about how outrageous this is--this is the kid who paralyzed Miguel in the fucking first place, what’s the point of dojo-wide revenge if they just take in the main culprit like an old buddy? But of course Mr. Kreese spouts some nonsense about how they need all the help they can get for the All-Valley, and sometimes you have to be allies with people you aren’t the biggest fans of, blah blah blah. To make matters worse, Tory--not a friend exactly, but probably the closest thing Demetri’s got to one left--is getting far too chummy with Robby for Demetri’s taste.

Maybe Demetri’s insane, but it seems like more and more ridiculous shit is being handwaved in the name of...what? Winning a karate tournament? Getting revenge for a kid who’s already recovered, and doesn’t even seem to want it?

When word gets back to Cobra Kai that Miyagi-Do and Eagle Fang are teaming up, Kreese sends the students on a special mission: Show the other dojos that even with their combined forces, they’re no match for Cobra Kai. It seems like a waste of time to Demetri--why antagonize other dojos just minding their business? It’s not like there was anything worth fighting for in this dumb war anymore, considering Miguel was on his feet again (literally AND figuratively). Nonetheless, Demetri finds he’s itching for a good fight--it’s been way too long since he’s charged into a full-fledged battle.

Maybe this will help him get it out of his system, if nothing else.

When the fight breaks out at the LaRussos, it doesn’t take long for Demetri to be overtaken by the thrill of it. Just like he was at the school fight. Just like he was at the tournament. He’s zipping through the house, landing kicks and punches left and right. And it feels good. With everything having been so awful lately, he can’t remember the last time he’s felt more alive.

And then he lands a fierce kick, and Brucks chest-bumps him. “Hell yeah! kick some ass! Dumb losers never had a chance.”

Brucks. The same kid who laughed when he saw Eli starting to cry about the comments he made on his lip. The same kid claiming Kyler tossing his backpack into a yogurt-filled trash can was “brute.” And now here he was trying to be buddy-buddy with him.

Everything comes crashing down on Demetri at once.

Miguel’s speech, saying Kreese is manipulating him. Saying Kreese doesn’t care about him. Kreese cherry-picking what does and doesn’t count as vengeance--hurting Eli, someone who had nothing to do with Miguel’s fall, does, but teaming up with the kid responsible for said fall apparently does not. Demetri’s friends being booted from Cobra Kai one by one, just for not being strong enough.

The sound of Eli’s screams and sobs in a dark laser tag room.

Miguel was right, wasn’t he? Kreese never cared about getting payback for him. He only cared about starting a war for his own sadistic pleasures.

Demetri hears grunting and whimpering, and he looks up to see two of the other Cobras kneeing Eli in the chest over and over. Pinning him into an arm bar.

“Yo, ‘Mete!” one calls out. “Free shot!”

Eli looks up, gaze full of fear and pain. Bright blue irises glinting with welling tears.

Once upon a time, Demetri made a promise to himself that he would stick with karate, aggravating as it may be, so he would never have to see that look on Eli’s face again. It’s time, he figures, that he finally made good on that.

His face contorts into a snarl, and he runs to Eli. Eli closes his eyes and scrunches his face, bracing for a pain that never comes.

Demetri kicks one Cobra to the wayside and smashes the other into a glass table with perhaps more force and adrenaline than he’s used all night.

When he turns to Eli, the other boy backs away, eyes still wide with terror. Demetri feels sick to his stomach, and the tears come before he can stop them.

“God, Eli, I’m so sorry,” he splutters. “I’m so fucking sorry, for everything. I don’t know what I was thinking, and it was all so fucked up, and--”

“Demetri.”

“--I’ll never hurt you like that again, but if you don’t want anything to do with me now, I totally understand, and--”

“Demetri.”

“--I was so awful to you, and I didn’t listen to you, and I should’ve been there for you, and I’m such a piece of shit friend and--”

“DEMETRI!”

Finally Eli raises his voice enough that Demetri pauses. “...yeah, Eli?”

“Please stop talking. I forgive you. Now are you going to shut up and help me finish this?” He raises a hand, as if to initiate their old handshake. An olive branch.

Demetri grins so wide he thinks his face is going to break, and he grips Eli’s hand like a lifeline. Something to finally pull him out of the darkness. “Yeah.”

They’re a lethal fighting team. Between Demetri landing speedy hits and Eli protecting him and shielding them both with his bulked-up form (where did he get all that muscle? Demetri wonders), they dispatch half the Cobras in minutes. Whatever rush Demetri was feeling fighting when he first got here is nothing compared to fighting with Eli.

When they stop the fight between Tory and Sam, Tory wastes no time voicing her disdain for the ex-Cobras. “You’d better watch your back,” she spits at Demetri, and he feels a chill run through him. Turns out this girl is terrifying when she’s not fighting on your side.

Eli intercepts her as she leaves, staring her down defiantly in a very un-Eli-like manner. “You’d better watch yours,” he growls. “Touch him, and I’ll end you.”

Demetri glances over in surprise. When did Eli get so bold?

Well...he thinks he could grow to like it.

Season 4 (because fuck it)

Demetri is hardly expecting Mr. LaRusso and Mr. Lawrence to forgive him, never mind let him into their new dojo. But life has a lot of pleasant surprises in store for him, it seems, after the shitshow it recently put him through. It’s also possible Eli (and maybe Miguel too) but in a good word for him.

Demetri can’t stop apologizing to Eli. Seemingly every day, he finds a new thing to apologize for. Eli gets aggravated with it before long, having to reassure Demetri at least 50 separate times that he forgives him for everything. Nonetheless, Demetri refuses to stop--because he’ll never stop being sorry.

Or trying to find new ways to make it up to Eli. Going easy on him during sparring. Buying him lunch after practice. Helping him perfect some of the most badass Cobra moves.

Things end between Eli and Moon. Eli can’t fully elaborate on why--he just tells Demetri something didn’t feel quite right. The spark died out, like Demetri’s adrenaline rush slowly seeping away toward the end of a fight. That, and, Demetri gathers, something seems to have been distracting Eli from his girlfriend as of late.

Most likely the approaching, high stakes All-Valley. Karate is Serious Business, as they’ve both embraced now.

Rumor has it Yasmine and Moon are trying again, Yasmine realizing for seemingly the first time how awful she’s really been and making an effort to be better. Moon makes her want to be better--more than Demetri ever did, he realizes. And maybe that’s okay--he and Yasmine probably just weren’t right for each other.

Then one day, after yet another one of Demetri’s long-winded apologies, Eli offers something other than an exasperated. “It’s okay. Seriously.” There’s a pause before Eli quietly says “I’m sorry too.”

“For what?” Demetri blurts out, baffled. Everything Eli’s done has paled in comparison to his own atrocities.

“For outing you,” Eli says simply. “That was fucked. And it wasn’t my place, even if I was mad at you.”

“It’s all right.” Demetri shrugs. “You were right, anyways.”

Eli gives him a strange look. “I was?”

“Yeah, I mean...” Demetri laughs dryly. “I don’t...like girls. I pretended I did, because I felt like I was supposed to. That’s what people expect you to do when you’re a top athlete and all that. But dating Yasmine, chasing other girls, it always felt...empty. Like I was just acting out a role in a play or something. And at the end of the day, I think...” He pauses. “I think I was always looking at you.”

Because the last few months have made him realize something. Training with Eli, teaching Eli how to protect himself, watching Eli step up and defend him from the mistrusting stares and the scornful whispers...

Just how much of the person he’s become is thanks to wanting to protect Eli. The fact that that was always how all this started.

“I love you,” he blurts out, before he can stop himself. “I know I did a shitty job of showing it, and I know you were with Moon and you’re not like that, but I need you to know, and I understand if you don’t feel--”

Eli cuts him off with a fierce kiss, pinning him up against the dojo wall with unexpected aggressiveness.

When Eli pulls away, he’s smiling softly. The same smile he gave Moon in the hall as she drew on his cast--the smile that’s once again all Demetri’s.

“I love you too,” he murmurs. “Why do you think I broke up with Moon? Every time I was with her...I couldn’t stop wishing it was you. She’ll never know me like you do.”

And Kreese had better look out because Miyagi Fang’s next big power couple is a force to be reckoned with--the snarky, frighteningly fast-attacking ex-Cobra, and the buff, blue-mohawked Miyagi-Do with more inner peace than anyone would expect.

SOME RANDOM SIDENOTES ABOUT THIS BECAUSE I DIDN’T FEEL LIKE PUTTING THIS ALL IN THE TAGS

~I’m sorry if anyone is OOC in this--I know Johnny is kind of a fuck, but he genuinely WAS pretty crappy to Eli at first and who knows if he would’ve treated him any better if he didn’t “flip the script”??? ~Dark/Evil Demetri is so fun but also so awful to write--I hope you like him being an absolute fuck because the Corruption Arc is REAL ~Yes, I DO in fact fully believe Demetri would go on a crazed revenge quest just like Eli/Hawk did out of his grief for Miguel--the boy absolutely loves Miguel and arguably would want vengeance as much as Eli if their roles were swapped!!! Because Demetri cares about Miguel SO FUCKING MUCH even if it’s not as obvious as it is with Eli but that’s a rant for another post ~I included YasMoon because fuck it, I thought it’d be interesting. That and, unlike the Cobra Kai writers, I am not at all afraid of what conservative audiences will say, so I am not afraid to make things as gay as possible. ~There’s a good chance I swapped Kyler and Brucks’ places near the end solely so I could have Demetri beat the fuck out of Kyler because I just really need that ~Yes, even without formally becoming “Hawk,” Eli could learn how to be a conniving manipulative little shit if he wanted to be. Look at some of the shit he pulls with the counselor in canon Season 3!!! Boy sure as hell knows how to play the victim. ~Honestly not sure if being outed as gay is better or worse than being outed as a bed-wetter, but I had to think of something that would pack the same kind of emotional punch. In Eli’s feeble defense, the West Valley High kids don’t seem like the types to be like...especially violent against queer kids (otherwise NO WAY would Moon and Piper have been able to be that open about their relationship), they’d just be assholes about it. So Eli wasn’t putting Demetri in legit danger here so much as just opening him up to a lot of ridicule. Which is still fucked, but hey, I DID warn you this would be kind of fucked up XD ~Maybe short, concise apologies work for Eli, bUT NOT FOR DEMETRI THE RAMBLER ~Dark Demetri chasing Eli through the school like a goddamn serial killer = 10/10 gave myself a big Spook writing ~Yes, Eli does still have (and always had) his “Hawk” traits, even without the formal “transformation.” I just think his “Hawk” side would be a little more subtle and subdued if he were in Miyagi-Do, but it’s still there for sure.

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loquenomedices · 3 years

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ship it or rip it - elite edition

thanks for bringing the concept and tagging me @b-bachman!! (instructions here) and providing a much more fun use of my time than listening to my online classes

this is long af so if you wanna know my opinions on three randomly generated ships, keep reading. but you’ve been warned.

1. carla/guzmán (@ everyone i know who likes them, probably skip this part.)

god no. just, absolutely not. i can’t even express how much i hate this idea and how i will forever be grateful that didn’t happen on the show. carla/guzmán might as well be the most obvious and predictable ship that they could do, popular but not *extremely* bitchy ice queen with the golden boy jerk who actually has a heart of gold if you dig like 78 layers under the surface. (no.)

aside from me just hating the concept (because i can acknowledge that ester and miguel would probably have good chemistry), if we look at it from the character viewpoint, they just don’t work. i’ll often contrast with guzmán/lu, who, in some way, have potential as a pairing (unlike these two). carla hates being told what to do, whereas guzmán’s entire life purpose is to meddle in and judge every single one of his friends’ decisions. unlike lu, carla isn’t even a little bit attracted to that kind of controlling nature, mostly because she likes to control people herself. however, guzmán isn’t the kind of “fun” opponent who is challenging or different in some way (you know who i’m talking about); he’s just the opponent whose cockiness with a hint of chauvinism would probably make her commit a completely unaccidental murder sooner than polo could say trophy.

also, lu enjoys confrontation and theatrics, which is why she can put up with guzmán and the explosive fights. she seeks out arguments and conflict. carla and guzmán would be just as toxic and prone to crash as guzmán with lu, though for different reasons. guzmán is much more conservative, elitist and judgemental than carla (another reason why guzmán and lu can work - they have that in common). but carla, unlike lu, hates loud confrontation and when people (including herself) lose their cool. their fights would be torture for both sides - carla trying to keep it cool, guzmán yelling and getting even more frustrated that carla’s not reacting in the way he wants. her probably actually snapping at some point. guzmán’s second name is anger issues. need i say more?

my last point is, carla’s literally bored of her pre-lined life in the first episode of the first season. if she’s bored of polo, who she can wrap around her finger with his pretty unconditional love, guzmán with his antics would 100% not be worth it. there’s not a more stereotypical “rich” character than guzmán, and carla’s sick of the golden cage and especially the people in it.

i prefer carla/polo over carla/guzmán any day, and if that isn’t telling enough, i don’t know what is.

rip it, shred it to pieces, burn it <3

(carla/guzmán hate zone over)

2. ander/guzmán

well now that’s certainly more intriguing. guzmán and ander’s friendship is.. something else. if we look away from the fact that guzmán is 120% straight (in my opinion), we have some interesting material to explore.

ander is extremely closed off and guzmán is extremely pushy. now, this would obviously cause issues, but unlike in other relationships that guzmán has, ander doesn’t let guzmán tell him what to do and stands by his opinions (he always talked to the poor kids despite guzmán’s dislike). sometimes, he even manages to get through to guzmán, probably because the times he speaks are so extremely rare that whenever he does, it captures everyone’s attention. so, at least in terms of equality, this ship isn’t doomed.

they are probably doomed, just like their friendship, in the way that their personalities are polar opposites. ander never tells anyone ANYTHING, which guzmán absolutely hates. but in some strange way, guzmán could *kinda* view that as compelling; probably if they didn't know each other and he tried to pursue him (yes, my imagination is going wild.) that’s how it started with nadia. on the show, guzmán is extremely protective with ander, and always tries to find out what’s going on and support him. i’m not saying it’s a great technique and it doesn’t work most of the times on the show, but in the end, people who bottle up their emotions sometimes need this exact thing to be done to them, so that they’ll finally open up.

would they work long-term? probably (99%) not. but they could try.

i could ship them with the right story

3. rebeka/nadia

fun! their s2 friendship was cute. again, they’re polar opposites, but only on the outside. personality-wise, they’re actually pretty similar (they’re both really honest, which is a great base, and even their senses of humour work together as seen in s2), except rebeka is way more chill. which would be good for the relationship - somebody needs to calm down the waters (or something). bring a stressed out nadia a cup of tea. neither of them are big fans of rich people, so that works in their favour as well. rebeka would be the one to help nadia get out of her shell, and nadia would repay her with sincerity and loyalty.

they had a good friendship, so if a more open-minded and bi nadia was a thing?

ship it

#and this is how i spent a 45 minute lesson #games #do it if you want to i am now way too exhausted to think of people #especially the carla/guzmán rant and trying to keep it civil that really took a toll on me #i am so bitter today im so sorry

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yourmandevine · 3 years

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Some stuff that made me happy in 2020, in no particular order

God send you no greater loss. It’s something my grandmother said a lot — a bit of highly Irish Catholic wisdom intended to remind you, warmly but sharply, that whatever you’re currently suffering through isn’t all that bad compared to what lots of other people are dealing with. That it probably isn’t too much to complain about, in the grand scheme of things. That you should, instead, be grateful for what you’ve got, big and small and everything in between.

God sent a great many people a great many unfathomable losses this year, and as hard as it felt at times, our family wasn’t among them; we’re lucky, in the big picture. In the past, people have recommended I try writing those reasons down, to give myself a list of stuff to be thankful for, for the times it’s tough to summon up the gratitude. I figured the end of the year was as good a time as any to make that list, to highlight the stuff that helped me get through this year — the reasons big, small, and in between.

So: here goes.

Peanut butter and jelly

I haven’t counted how many peanut butter and jelly sandwiches I’ve eaten since March 11, which is good, because that would be an absurd thing to do, and a sure sign that I have succumbed to a very specific kind of madness. It’s also good, though, because I would undoubtedly be ashamed by the number; the figure would be titanic, like the unsinkable ship of same name, or the iceberg that sunk it.

Or, at least, I would be ashamed under normal circumstances. This fuckin’ year required whatever flotation device you could find, and you know what I found in the fridge and cupboard? A couple of slices of bread, some strawberry jam, and some goddamn Skippy.

Need a weird mid-morning “brunch” after not having breakfast because you went right from waking up to remote school with the 6-year-old? Crank up a PB&J with that third cup of coffee. Need to pack something in the diaper bag to feed everyone while you’re out at the playground for the afternoon? Stack ‘em up, son. Need a late snack after working the overnight shift filing weird bubble playoff columns? Three letters, one ampersand, one love.

I need to eat better in 2021. But I kind of needed to eat sort of like shit to get through 2020, and time and again, when your man needed it most, PB&J was there.

Sunday night Zoom sessions with college friends

I know that most of us started something like this back in March; I’m not sure how many have stuck with it. I hope the answer is “a lot,” because honestly, knowing that I’m going to end the week by seeing a few friends — some here in Brooklyn but mostly beyond our reach for safety’s sake, some who’ve moved away — has felt like a stabilizing agent on more than a few occasions. It’s important, and no small blessing, to have people in your life who really know you, weird messy ugly bits and all, and in front of whom you can let everything go.

That gallery view’s provided a place to vent, to seethe, to laugh, to cry, and to try to find some semblance of center before heading back into another week. I’m grateful for it, and for the people in those little boxes. Except for the time they reminded me that, when I was 18, I was pretty sure I was a Pacey, and they were all extremely confident I was a Dawson. They were right, but still: a bitter pill to swallow, then and now.

Olivia calling herself “Dr. Bloody”

She took out her little toy doctor kit and just turned into a cackling villain.

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A post shared by Dan Devine (@yourmandevine)

Deeply disconcerting, yes, but also adorable.

All Fantasy Everything

What got me in the door was the conceit: three very funny stand-up comedians (Ian Karmel, David Gborie, Sean Jordan), often with a very funny guest but sometimes without, pick some topic or another and engage in a fantasy draft of their favorite aspects or representations of that topic. (It is, crucially, a serpentine draft. Now what is that? That’s a great question.) Some favorite examples: Mikes; Words That You Think Make You Sound Smart, vols. 1 and 2; Things You Yell After You Dunk on Someone; Fictional Athletes; Crimes We’d Like to Commit. Yeah. It’s that kind of podcast.

What kept me around was the friendship. Listen to an episode and it becomes really clear really quickly just how much the three hosts love each other, how much fun they have being around each other and making one another laugh. The warmth radiates, just pours out of the speakers; in a year where I sorely needed some good vibes, I appreciated my regular check-ins with the Good Vibes Gang to just ... unclench for an hour and a half or so.

Drinking beer

OK, I’ll admit: This doesn’t sound great for me. It’s true, though. I really like beer. (We brewed one in our kitchen, which I realize is something of a “bearded guy in Brooklyn” cliche, but here we are. It was exciting to complete a project, and it tasted OK-ish.) At some points this year, it didn’t feel like there wasn’t much to look forward to, and sometimes drinking some High Lifes or Narragansett tall boys — with my wife in our living room, with friends on the computer, whatever — helped take the edge off a shitty day/week/month/year. I look forward to being able to do that outside with people again.

The Good Place

I am sure some very smart cultural critics and political thinkers and social revolutionaries have forwarded compelling arguments for why this show is Bad, Actually, because that seems to be more or less true about most things, whether because said thing is Actually Bad or because the economics of the attention economy on the internet functionally necessitate the composition and publication of pretty much every position on pretty much every issue, and especially ones that present a counterargument for why you shouldn’t like the thing you like, and might be kind of a piece of shit for liking it. But I liked this half-hour comedy about the way the universe might be put together, why we should try to take better care of each other, and how doing so might be a pretty great way to take better care of ourselves.

Andrew let me write about it a little bit for a big project we did before the series finale aired, which was really nice of him. I found myself thinking about this part a lot this year:

I also thought a lot about Peeps Chili, but that happens every year.

Taking pictures of my dog

Check out this flumpy goddamn champion:

“Lugar is a good boy” is the main takeaway here. They don’t all have to be complicated.

Schitt’s Creek

I know we’re not alone in this, but we inhaled this show this year. A half-hour comedy about people being laid low, learning how to deal with who they actually are, and finding some grace and community and opportunities for growth kind of hit the spot, I guess.

One of the most wholesale enjoyable ensemble comedy casts I can remember; Catherine O’Hara was already in Cooperstown, but what she made with Moira Rose only polishes her plaque. I’ll never be able to describe with any specificity the thing Chris Elliott does, but I know it has made me laugh since I was a child too young to understand the Letterman bits or see Cabin Boy in the theater, and it’s probably going to make me laugh until I am dead.

I love that people who, for years, never got to see themselves or people like them on screen got to see David Rose on screen and maybe recognize themselves a little bit. The idea that seeing the David/Patrick relationship might make them maybe feel a little more at home, a little safer and more whole, makes me happy. Sad, about the before, but happy, about the now and the what comes next.

Past that, I just love how what was ostensibly a family-and-friends production for a Canadian channel just got absolutely everything right—the tone, the look, the sound, the theme song, the cast, the jokes, my goodness, the jokes—and before long, the rest of the world just got it. Like catching a fastball square on the barrel. Something the show clearly knew a little bit about.

Finding new outdoor places it was safe to go

Necessity is the mother of invention, and the need to give the kids a place to be that wasn’t unnecessarily dangerous but also wasn’t inside our two-bedroom apartment led us to do more exploring than we had before. Shirley Chisholm State Park is great. Canarsie Pier was a fun place to spend a Sunday morning; so’s Canarsie Playground. If we got there early enough or made our peace with some rain, the beaches at Jacob Riis Park and Fort Tilden were pretty rad this summer. I lived in Staten Island from ages 8 through 18, and during breaks throughout college, and don’t think I ever hiked in High Rock Park — that’s dumb, because it was nice!

Even if all those little excursions did was kill a little time and reduce the overall stress level of the four humans stuck in our four walls, that’s not nothing. Some days this year, it was everything.

Cobra Kai

I know I’m late here; I didn’t rush to seek it out because I don’t consider myself a huge fan of The Karate Kid, or at least not a big enough fan to sign up for YouTube’s premium service. I checked it out when it came to Netflix, though, and I honestly can’t believe how much I enjoyed this show. Give me “dumb, but with heart” every day of the week.

I believe in Miguel Diaz; I believe in Johnny Lawrence; I believe I will be firing up Season 3 next month, and perhaps drinking some Coors Banquets in its honor. (I cannot, however, believe how the “get him a body bag” thing came back around, but that’s neither here nor there.)

Closing unread tabs

I’m a serial hoarder of links, and I am bad at finishing all of them. I’ve tried to get into Pocket and Instapaper, but I’ve never been able to turn that sort of workflow — open link, save to third-party service, go back to third-party service later to read, then delete from there — into something that felt instinctual, natural, or habitual. So: lots of tabs. Like, lots of tabs.

This was a dicier proposition than usual in 2020, because cutting my work week in half to be able to more effectively coparent two kids who didn’t have school or day care for most of the year meant less time to read things.

I tried to do my best to keep up with the important stuff for work, and to read at least some stuff about how other parents were dealing with their anxiety/anger/depression/frustration at having to be on 24/7 and work, and to stay abreast of (at least some of) what was happening in the world. Sometimes, though, I would wake up and realize I’d been holding onto blog posts about Really Interesting Rotation Decisions on the 11th-Seeded Team in the East or whatever for literally nine months, and I would go against my nature and just hit the eject button on a 25-deep window, and something amazing would happen: I wouldn’t get fired for being shitty at my job. I would move on with my day, and I would feel about 10 pounds lighter.

I still keep too much stuff open. (As we speak, I’ve got three different Chrome windows open on two different laptops. I choose not to count the total tabs.) But I do so knowing that, if it gets too heavy, I can experience the momentary joy of surrendering to the inevitability that I can’t catch everything. In that moment, I feel OK with my decay.

Reading writers I wasn’t familiar with before

Two in particular stand out in my mind: Nekias Duncan, now of BasketballNews.com, who does excellent film breakdowns and statistical analysis, and Katie Heindl, who writes basketball stuff of all types all over the place, and strings sentences together in a way that scratches an itch inside my brain. I’m grateful I got more chances to read them this year, I look forward to bigger and better things for both of them, and I’m hopeful that, if things calm down and our schedules go back to something approximating normalcy, I’ll have more bandwidth to hunt out more new voices in the year ahead.

The time I ambushed my wife as she was trying to break down and put away the girls’ space tent

Pretty good.

Siobhan learning to ride a bicycle (with training wheels, but still)

The moment passed pretty quickly; Not Exactly A Mechanic over here can’t get the training wheels to reliably work right without either loosening them too much or tightening them so much that she can’t pedal it. In that first moment, though, and for as long as it lasted, it was really great to see her get excited about doing something new, big kid shit, for the first time.

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She was proud. I was proud of her. And then we went to a playground for a few hours. Pretty good day.

Tyler Tynes roasting me

Tyler did some incredible work this year — The Cam Chronicles is getting deserved praise as one of 2020′s best podcasts, and his reporting on the Movement for Black Lives was exemplary. It’s hard to top this, though:

You know what the messed up part is? I was excited to tell him what I was doing, just because I knew the reaction would be so violent. Like a body rejecting a transplant. So lucky to have such a dear, dear friend.

PUP

I’m late on everything, so I didn’t start listening to PUP until the spring of 2019, but I haven’t really stopped since. This year has been too sedentary too often; this band is too kinetic to allow me to stay there.

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“Bloody Mary Kate and Ashley Kate” is never more than about 20 minutes away from returning to the front of my mind. I would fucking love for it to be safe enough to watch these guys live at some point, and I am absolutely going to take Steve up on his offer.

Someone sending me a shirt based on a joke I tweeted

First:

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Then:

I’m not sure you should be rewarding my behavior, SnoCoPrintShop, but I appreciate it all the same.

Which reminds me:

Family dinner/family movie night

My wife works in Manhattan and commutes back on the train, and we've tried to prioritize getting the girls to bed early since they were little, so that doesn’t leave much of a window between when she gets home and they go in the tub for us all to connect; before everything shut down, we almost never really ate together. We’re still not great about it, but for a while now we’ve carved out Saturday as family dinner night, where we sit down to eat and talk about our “up” from the day — something that happened that made us feel good or happy, or something we’re looking forward to. (We used to talk about our “down,” too, but that kind of seemed like overkill. Why try to focus on more bad shit right now, you know?)

Then we settle in for a movie, with who gets to pick rotating each week. It’s mostly been Pixar, which has been great but also has its drawbacks; after she caught me crying during one of them (maybe the Bing-Bong scene in Inside Out? or Miguel singing to Grandma Coco?), Siobhan straight up told me, “You need to get yourself together, man.” We just watched My Neighbor Totoro, too, which they loved, so we’re probably going to try some more Miyazaki soon. It’s a really simple thing, but it’s one we rarely made time for before, and it’s been really nice to manufacture something positive that we can share and look forward to together.

Sometimes looking like a shiftless drifter

No shade to anyone who felt strongly about getting a lineup or whatever, but I haven’t really felt like going to the barbershop was worth the risk, and I continue to refuse to believe that my wife can actually pull off the fade she’s long wanted to give me. (It is also possible that she just means she’s intending to run my fade, and that I will before long wind up cold-cocked and slumped by my bride of nine years.) So I’ve just kind of been growing out my hair like it was when I was single, and sometimes been letting my beard get kind of out of control too, and, well, I sort of like looking a little bit like a Wildling, it turns out.

I have since trimmed things up a little. It didn’t go over well with my youngest. Oh, well. I’ll try to do better next time.

My wife and daughter singing the Pixies

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We don’t know all the words to too many lullabies, so we sing the ones we do know the words to. This will probably come back to bite us in the years ahead. For now, though: Pretty good.

Doughboys’ Tournament of Chompions: Munch Madness: Mac Attack

I can’t believe how invested I became in Nick Wiger and Mike Mitchell’s quest to determine the best menu item at McDonald’s in a 64-seed tournament that spawned hours and hours of delightfully funny audio featuring all-time home-run guests like Jon Gabrus and Nicole Byer, who gleefully feed into the often warm, sometimes antagonistic, always entertaining chemistry between the two hosts. I have also never found myself wanting to go to McDonald’s more in my entire life. I have hit the drive-thru a couple of times since, and the boys are right: The McDonald’s fountain Coke does just hit different.

Sound Only

I’ve lost track of whether or not a 38-year-old is considered a millennial, but I’m quite confident that I’m not exactly plugged into “the millennial lifestyle” as my teammates Justin Charity and Micah Peters discuss it on their podcast, which relaunched this summer. Doesn’t matter, though, because I love hearing Charity and Micah talk to each other even if I don’t know what they’re talking about.

Their conversation about Dave Chappelle was great. After listening to their Travis Scott episode, I felt like I kind of understood who he is and why he occupies the space he does in pop culture now. I had no idea how they were going to get me to give a shit about set photos from The Batman, but this they not only got me there, but wended their way toward blaming 50 Cent for needing to know who Groot is to have a conversation on the internet, which is something for which Abraham Lincoln did not die. The show is good, it's getting better, it’s fun to hear them talk their shit, and Charity’s regular bellowing of “I, TOO, AM AMERICA” has made me smile for four straight months.

Siobhan’s letters and notes

She’s in first grade now, and she’s taken to communicating her feelings through the written word. A lot.

I won’t pretend that I loved all of these in the moment. I can only get so upset, though, when she’s already writing with such a clear voice. (And trying to use proper punctuation. (And drawing little cartoons to drive the point home.)

Palm Springs

I’m having a hard time remembering too many specifics about it right now, which probably means it’d be a good thing to rewatch over the holidays. But, as I’m sure many people noted many months before we got around to watching it, a comedy about living the same day over and over again, and about trying to figure out how to make your life mean something when everything seems meaningless, scratched a pretty particular, and particularly important, itch this year. It could’ve been twice as long, and I would’ve eaten up every second of Andy Samberg and Cristin Miloti together.

I’m pretty sure I cried, although this year, that doesn’t necessarily mean much. Also, put Conner O’Malley in more things.

Joining our union’s bargaining committee

I won’t say too much about this, but I will say that becoming an active participant in the process of a labor union negotiating its first contract with management has been an extremely educational experience. It’s pushed me to have conversations, sometimes difficult ones, about our priorities as a staff and a company. It's helped me get closer with the other past and present members of the BC, and has led me to start developing relationships with members of our staff that I otherwise might not have had much of an opportunity to get to know.

The organizing work takes time, effort, and energy, but trying to do what I can to help take better care of my colleagues has been well worth all of that. Here’s hoping that in 2021 we can reach a deal that helps make our workplace even better, stronger, and more equitable for all of us.

Publishing a story about Stevie Nicks’ Fajita Roundup

I swear this is true: After I accepted my offer to work at The Ringer, but before I started, I told a friend that one thing I was excited about was that you had the chance to work on offbeat stuff here, in both the “kind of weird” and “not about the NBA” senses. That, I thought, might maybe open the door to me getting to write a story about a Saturday Night Live sketch I saw when I was a teenager about Stevie Nicks from Fleetwod Mac running a cheap Tex-Mex restaurant in Sedona, Arizona — a sketch that I wasn’t sure anyone else remembered, but that was stuck in my head forever.

That story ran on May 26.

A lot of people seemed to like it.

Accomplishing this goal was, as dumb as this might sound, a highlight of my year, and, honestly, a highlight of my career. I’d like to do some more stuff like this next year, time permitting; we’ll see. Whether or not I do, I got to do this. I’ll always have that.

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akirakan · 5 years

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Sony’s Universe would work much better if they focused on legacy heroes

Unless you’ve been living under a rock the past weeks, we all know that Spider-Man is not going to show-up in the MCU anymore. Sure, they could arrange a new deal, but for the moment, forget about seeing him again alongside The Avengers.

Sony is very likely to integrate him into their own cinematic, Sony’s Universe of Marvel Characters (SUMC), and do at least a soft-reboot, with the same cast but ignoring the events of the MCU. They already kick-started their little universe with Venom, with it’s sequel coming and Morbius starring Jared Leto, as well as the announced Black Cat, Silver Sable, Silk, Dusk, Nightwatch, and (*sigh*) Jackpot. Although, from all those announced, god knows how many will actually enter production (Silver and Black, Sinister Six, anyone?), specially now that they have Spidey all for themselves, he’s very likely to take priority. They’re very likely to continue with more spin-offs entirely focused on Spider-Man villains.

Okay, so honest question: outside of maybe Black Cat, Silk and maybe Silver Sable, does anyone really care about the others? Do you even know who Jackpot and Nightwatch are? Did Sony ever looked at Leto’s track and didn’t noticed that his only financially successful film is Suicide Squad? Does anyone really think that a universe build with villains turned into heroes as the leads is feasible?

If the answer to most of those questions is no, then you can see that the SUMC is heading to disaster. Sure, Venom was success, but let’s face it, building your cinematic universe on a “so bad it’s good” base is really shaky.

Sony is not entirely lost, however. They still have plenty of heroes. If there’s something that has characterized the Spider-Man mythos the past decade or so (I would go even further, to the 90′s and the clone saga) is the expansion of the Spider-Family. The aspect of legacy has been heavily played-up since the introduction of Ben Reilly, and the introduction of more diverse heroes with rich backstories, and (in most cases) independent from Peter Parker, opens a huge door for Sony to exploit. It’s much better having a universe where Spider-Man pressence is felt instead of awkwardly having Spider-Man villains headlining the universe with no Spider-Man on sight.

So let’s call this, The Spider-Man Legacy Universe, Phase 1.

Miles Morales - Spider-Man

I won’t even bother to explain him. I know you all saw ItSV. And if you haven’t, go watch it.

He would be the main face of this potential universe. He is THE Spider-Man. He would be slightly older in here, already being Spider-Man fo a few years by now, to show that he has more experience than all the upcoming heroes. Gwen would be introduced as the new girl at school, but she has her own agenda,

Mayday Parker - Spider-Girl

The daughter of the true Spider-Man! She’s Peter’s and MJ’s daughter, whose powers kicked-in when she entered high school. Her origin could be done fairly quickly: she’s Spider-Man’s daughter. There you go. Introduce villain.

Though, this would work to give more of a backstory to this world. Peter’s fate, for instance. He didn’t die in his last battle with Green Goblin. He was, however, incapacitated. He still lives a happy life with her wife and her two daughters. Yes, I said two.

At least in this version, I would introduce both of them. Annie being younger like in the earlier Renew Your Vows series, she would be the younger sister of Mayday. And no, she doesn’t have powers... yet.

Anya Corazón - Araña

Objectively speaking, the best superhero of all time (okay, I might be a little bit biased on that. JUST a little bit ;)). Anya Corazón is a mexican-puerto rican brooklynite who one night was caught between two warring factions: the Spider Society and the Sisterhood of Wasps. After almost dying during the attack, the mage of the Spider Society, Miguel, uses a ritual to save her, kick-starting her powers. After that, she becomes the hero Araña and fights alongside the Spider Society, at the same time that she tries to discover the dark side of the organization and other secrets, like what or who is inside the bunker...

This one would introduce mystical aspects into the universe. Kinda like being the Dr. Strange equivalent, introducing concepts such as the Web of Life, The Other, and, therefore, the Spider-Verse. This concepts would be key moving forward with the next heroes...

Kaine - Scarlet Spider

Kaine “Parker”, after living a miserable life as a failed experiment and seeing his brother die, he ultimately dies... before inexplicably coming back to life. He retires to Dallas where he tries his best to live a normal life. However, being a Parker means that you will always be dragged to something. And so, after encountering a young immigrant girl almost at the point of dying, he suits up once again and reclaims his place as the Scarlet Spider.

More exploration into the concepts introduced in Araña and a look into the Clone Saga, which will also spawn stuff.

Flash Thompson - Agent Venom

Flash as Venom is best Venom. There, I said it. Former bully of Parker, later one of his best friends, and #1 Spider-Man fan. Has been operating for years as a government agent after being disabled since his time in the army. Ex-husband of Felicia Hardy aka Black Cat, and father of Felicity Thompson Hardy, now a coach at a Philadelphia high school.

We take a little break from the more Spider-centric narrative into the symbiote world. As well, the more worldwide adventures of Flash would let us see the rest of the world in a post-Spider-Man era.

Jessica Drew - Spider-Woman

A former CIA Agent, she now works as a private investigator alongside her partner Lindsay McCabe. Everything seems normal until one day she’s contacted by Parker Industries (!) for a special mission related to her past. She’s gonna have to suit up again in order to discover more about herself and get her bread.

Similar to Agent Venom, more worldbuilding and we see the existence of more organizations and factions within. I would also like to throw in Ultimate Jessica Drew as a potential partner, but would need more development to see if it isn’t too convoluted.

After all the establishment, we get a team-up movie where all this heroes meet for the first time, and I’m gonna leave this here. There’s already hints about heroes around, without going overboard like certain other failed cinematic universes had (Dark Universe, TASM). The most important thing is to not rush things and take their respective development. Focusing on the legacy heroes shows how important Spider-Man truly is in the world, and that’s what they should aim for.

#Spider Man #Miles Morales #Sony #Anya Corazon #Mayday Parker #Jessica Drew #Flash Thompson #Venom #Kaine Parker

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letters-from-the-three-houses · 5 years

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If you don’t mind, can I have Disney headcanons for the blue lions? What movies they like, how much they like it, stuff like that. I’ve been,, all over the place with the Ashe Aladdin AU (I made this an ask w/ bae-leth) So I feel very Disney. Maybe the other houses too?

disney!! here are the aladdin!au asks in question for the curious: [1] [2]

i did all the houses because why not, and i included affiliated companies (e.g. pixar) so it gave me more freedom (i added a 'true' disney film for everyone just in case though). there are also non-disney films that i included for some of the characters bc they seemed like the type to like them c:

hope you like it!

black eagles:

edelgard - she’s the type that watches it only when she has free time. she doesn’t exactly have a favourite, but she thinks all of the toy story movies are great (pure disney: the great mouse detective, for its mystery and sherlock holmes-like main character; the climax scene keeps her on the edge of her seat)

hubert - (watership down, wallace and gromit, any tim burton film) he likes more serious, psychological thriller movies so disney doesn’t really suit his tastes. if he had to choose, james and the giant peach (pure disney: hunchback of notre dame)

dorothea - she’s loves all of the musicals, and the ones with great songs. so films like the princess movies, enchanted, tarzan, etc. are right up her alley! she lives and breathes high school musical. her favourite disney song of all time is cinderella’s 'a dream is a wish your heart makes', and she tells everyone to give sequels a chance

ferdinand - he won’t admit it, but he likes the aristocats because of the soundtrack. doesn’t watch/care for disney though

bernadetta - the chronicles of narnia was her entire childhood. whenever she rewatches it, she eyes the fantasy cg with pure fascination and daydreams about being in narnia (pure disney: live action alice and wonderland for the same reason)

caspar - (sharkboy and lavagirl, home alone) hercules! when he saw it as a kid, he idolized hercules so much he wanted to grow up like him. you can still catch him whistling 'zero to hero' every now and then. cars is also a fun ride, as is sky high

petra - she thinks mulan is awesome. she admires quasimodo (hunchback of notre dame) for triumphing despite all the difficulties he encounters as well, and talks about it to hubert sometimes

linhardt - (space jam) holes. the movie is juuust weird enough for him to stay awake and not doze off, but even then he’s kind of meh. either version of fantasia is way too weird though—he’ll ditch it before you can even say 'mickey' (pure disney: honey, i shrunk the kids)

blue lions:

dimitri - (the polar express) lion king because he’s basic there’s something admirable about simba’s journey to become a king. also because lions. he unironically enjoyed frozen and likes a lot of classic christmas films

dedue - (prince of egypt) all of disney’s nature documentaries; he thinks the penguins are cute. monsters, inc. makes him happy because he imagines himself as sully, felix as mike, and dimitri as boo

felix - pirates of the caribbean. he can try to hide the fact that he once cosplayed as jack sparrow when he was fourteen, but his friends will never live it down. in a similar vein, ghost in the shell 2 and zorro bc he’s an edgy weeb

mercedes - (sound of music) mary poppins. she likes the dynamic between mary and the children, and 'spoonful of sugar' is her go-to song while she does chores. bridge to terabithia also has a special place in her heart. she doesn’t actively go out and watch movies though

ashe - (an american tail, balto, land before time) he a) loves animals and b) loves the ones centred around families, so he likes brother bear, finding nemo, lilo and stitch, etc. his favourites are bambi and coco bc bambi kind of reminds him of himself and miguel’s family is his ideal family. also, both of the goofy movies. without fail, he will always tear up once the credits roll for the fox and the hound

annette - (all of the barbie movies) a hardcore disney fan. her favourite princess is rapunzel (tangled)—bc exploring the world? curious about everything? perky and sweet? she really connects with her! would sing 'i see the light' in the shower. loves one hundred and one dalmations, lady and the tramp, and a lot of the cute romantic ones. goes on a disney marathon with mercie and ingrid every summer

sylvain - he once saw the incredibles on the big screen and thought it was great. would also enjoy the sorcerer’s apprentice if he bothered to watch it (pure disney: ratatouille)

ingrid - (charlotte’s web) only watches disney with annette. fond of up and all of the winnie the pooh films for their heartwarming stories

golden deer:

claude - the emperor’s new groove. the constant thrills and kuzco’s sass keep him engaged throughout the whole film. he also likes zootopia for its intrigue and well-timed jokes, and he managed to correctly guess who the mastermind was way before the movie ended. also loves robin hood and national treasure. he’s probably a huge movie junkie so he likes a lot more films outside of disney!

lorenz - (who framed roger rabbit) he doesn’t really enjoy any of the movies. if you twist his arm, he’ll maybe say pocahontas (bc he secretly likes 'colours of the wind')

hilda - if you ever complain about the princess diaries, she’ll kick you out of the dorm and never let you back in until you apologize. she’s more of a fan of the live action films, especially if they star lindsay lohan

raphael - (cloudy with a chance of meatballs, kung fu panda, all of the lego movies, despicable me, ice age, madagascar) chicken little. it’s just a coincidence that a lot of the movies he likes coincidentally involve food, he swears. he likes chicken little because it’s fun and aliens. a big, big fan of happy-go-lucky, light animated films—disney or not

lysithea - (jimmy neutron) wreck-it-ralph for its zany story. she’s the one that thinks the 1940 version of fantasia is a cinematic masterpiece

ignatz - cult classics like the sword in the stone, the black cauldron, treasure island, and atlantis bc my boy has good taste he likes the adventure and world building. milo is his spirit animal

marianne - (anastasia) wall-e. she can relate to it really well, and her heart warms once wall-e finds a friend in eve. like dorothea, she also enjoys enchanted and a lot of the disney sequels (lion king 2 and cinderella iii, to name a few)

leonie - (how to train your dragon) brave + the rescuers. probably rolls her eyes whenever there’s a romance scene on the screen. just in it for the action and adventure

[asks are open!]

#fire emblem three houses #fe16 #fe3h #edelgard von hresvelg #black eagles #dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #blue lions #claude von riegan #golden deer #asks #headcanons #alternate universe #anon #prerelease #edit: why won't the read more work #tumblr why #sorry for the long post everyone!

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bobbylovesalex · 5 years

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The Lighthouse

Robby is a good kid. He doesn’t talk much but he works hard and has yet to object to anything I’ve told him to do. Except for the horses. He still refuses to get on a horse. Kind of funny that the kid who was brave enough to stand up to Kreese and Dutch fears a horse.

I sip my coffee and watch him through the kitchen windows. He’s playing fetch with Lexie and Axel. I would say he and Lexie are playing fetch with Axel, but Lexie keeps forgetting the objective and running after the ball herself.

Maybe it wasn’t the right thing to do, to tell Johnny about what Kreese had done to Robby. I’m pretty sure that when he finds out, he’ll never tell me anything again. Probably never tell anyone anything again. I just thought that maybe if Robby knew, if Johnny could tell him about what he’d suffered at Kreese’s hands, maybe it’d help him feel less emasculated and defeated by the whole thing. No wonder he fell for Dutch’s trap.

And, if I’m being honest, another part of me wants to scream at Johnny for letting it happen. How did he not see it? How could he not notice his kid being beaten and bruised for weeks? He had to know that Robby would have naturally been a target for Kreese and that was even without Robby offering himself up as a sacrifice for ‘the friend who wasn’t a friend’ he’s mentioned a few times.

That’s something else he refuses to talk about. That and Johnny. He clams up at the mere mention of either.

But, last night, he did start a joke with Johnny, teasing him about his out of date lifestyle, so maybe there’s hope yet. I finish my coffee and go outside.

“Hey, Lexie-girl,” I say, bending down to her level. “Can you take care of Axel for Robby while we work today?”

“Yes, Pop,” she answers, seriously.

I can’t help but smile. I may have never been a father, but being a grandfather is pretty damn great sometimes. “Grandpa is upstairs. I’ll see you later.”

“What are we doing today?” Robby asked.

“I thought we’d go out to the lighthouse.”

“I told you I wasn’t getting on a horse,” he laughs.

“You don’t have to,” I admit. “We use them for guest, but if you don’t mind getting a little wet, we can take the ATVs too. The channel’s not that deep.”

“What do we need to do out here?” He asks once we’re on the little island.

“Nothing really. I just like to come out here and make sure everything is okay,” I say. “And I knew you wanted to come out.”

Watching Robby explore the lighthouse reminds me of me the first time Alex brought me out here. It’s kind of amazing.

In the tower, he’s leaning against the rail, staring out at the waves crashing against the rocks below.

“He wasn’t there,” he says softly.

“What?” I have to step closer to hear him.

“Johnny. He didn’t know what Kreese was doing because he wasn’t there,” he says. “You can’t blame him for that. It was all my doing. I thought…, I thought I could save someone. He was being destroyed.”

“Your friend?”

“He was never my friend.”

“That’s Kreese talking.”

He shrugs. “Even a broken clock is right twice a day. It’s not Kreese talking, though he was right. It’s me finally seeing myself for the sucker I am. Anyway, like I said, I was on my own. Nobody even cared if I was alive. If Kreese had killed me, no one would have known until Mom needed me to get money out of Dad for her.”

That’s literally the first time he’s mentioned his mother in the week he’s been here. “Where was Johnny?”

“He was hurt, had a broken knee from some of Kreese’s goons. You’ll have to ask Dad for that story. I wasn’t exactly in his life right then. He was staying with the LaRusso’s, then Dr. Ali while he recovered. I was staying at his place by myself,” he said. “It was easy to hide. I just never went over. When I had to face others, I made up some bullshit story about falling off my skateboard. Everyone bought it but Mr. LaRusso…,”

“Why was Johnny staying with Daniel?” I ask.

“Another story you’ll have to get from him,” he says. “Anyway, Mr. LaRusso didn’t buy my story. He’d been training me in karate, but that all stopped when… when Dad got involved. Whatever. Doesn’t matter. People can’t help it. They’re just drawn to him and they’ll forget everything else. I’m used to it. My mom has done it my whole life. The only person who never threw me away for Johnny was Granpa. Maybe that’s why I liked him. I knew he was a fucking awful person to most everyone. Hell, he was probably only nice to me to be an ass to Dad. More of showing him what he could never have. Jason hasn’t. But then, he’s only ever had two conversations with Dad, so who knows what will happen with that.”

“Jason?”

“Jason Schwarber. My boyfriend.”

That does surprise me a little. “You’re dating Ali’s son?”

He nods. “For now. I’m sure that he’ll either go like everyone else. Or just realize what a fucked up person I am in general and leave,” he shrugs again. “Dad doesn’t mean to do that, or to be that way, but he can’t help it. It’s just like, when he’s around, he’s the center of the universe and everyone just gravitates to him. He can’t help it. And they can’t help it. It’s just the way it is. I can’t even get mad at him about it anymore.”

“I don’t think a truer statement has ever been made about Johnny,” I say. “Is that what happened with the guy you thought was your friend?”

He shakes his head. “He was already Johnny’s. Johnny’s better, smarter, less fucked up son. Or at least that’s what he wanted him to be. Miguel is…, well he’s a better person than me by every measure. No wonder Johnny wanted him over me.”

“That’s not true,” I say. “Johnny loves you more than anything. He’d do anything for you.”

“Yeah, he probably would,” he says. “If he knew what I needed. But he usually doesn’t. You don’t know him anymore. He has huge blind spots where he can only see one thing, and I’m usually standing smack in the middle of where his vision ends. Again, he doesn’t mean to. It’s just how it is. I’m used to it. I handle myself so that I don’t need to depend on him. That way I can’t get hurt and I can still love him.”

“What happened with Miguel?”

“I just realized that I was being used. Again. So, I split,” he says.

I sigh. Getting this kid to talk is like unraveling Christmas lights. Everything is tangled up in knots and just when you’re ready to give up, out will come another line, but there’s a new knot at the end of it too. “How was he using you?”

He turns red and looks out at the ocean again. “He…, I liked him…, he knew that…, he didn’t like me, not like that anyway…, but he…, I don’t know, he said he liked being chased. He liked the feeling that someone wanted him enough to go after him because that had never happened to him before. He fucking humiliated me time and again and I kept going back for more and that was before Kreese was even involved.”

“You loved him.”

He nods. “God, I’m so stupid. He was using me, and I knew that he was, and I still let him over and over. This is why I don’t get close enough to love anyone. It’s nothing but humiliation. Giving people the power to hurt you and happily smiling while they do it. I’ve watched my mom do it a hundred times. I should have known.”

“And I bet you didn’t make it easy for him, did you?”

“What?”

“To use you. You didn’t start trying to fix all his problems. You didn’t start trying to give him things he didn’t have. I’m sure you didn’t try to make him love you by trying to make his life perfect for him,” I say.

He glares daggers at me, and I know I’ve hit a nerve. “What would you know about it?”

“Kid, I was in love with your Dad before I even knew what love was,” I say. “And I thought that I could make him love me if I could fix everything. I confused dependency for love. I made myself a doormat for him and he took advantage of it. I don’t think he even meant too. Just like I don’t think your friend meant to do that to you. It’s just human nature especially when you’re making it easy for them.”

“So, what happened?” He asks.

“I reached my breaking point. Like you did. I realized I could live like that, it was hurting me too bad,” I say.

“What was it?”

It’s my turn to be embarrassed for the boy I was. “I guarded the locker room door in the dojo so Ali could…, give him a surprise…, Yeah. I did that. Got my ass beat by Kreese for being there after hours because I was the one who stuck around to lock up. Johnny laughed and told me I should have ducked when he saw my black eye. I’m sure he didn’t even know that I was Ali’s decoy, or that her surprise was what I got in trouble over. I certainly wasn’t going to tell him. Anyway, that was the moment I broke. I went home, spent a few days hovering between anger and crying. Except for Cobra Kai, I didn’t speak to Johnny for a month or better. Then I realized I missed him. Not the him that I’d made practically into an idol, but the guy that had been my friend. The guy who had my back when Kreese was on me. The guy who sat beside me in the courtroom when my parents’ divorce turned nasty. I knew that if I wanted to keep him in my life, I had to let go of the pain, and accept what was.”

“How did you do that? How did you stop loving him?”

“I realized that I deserved love too. I wasn’t going to get it if I couldn’t love myself first and I wasn’t being very loving to myself,” I say. “I dropped him off the pedestal I had put him on and started being a real friend to him again.”

“I haven’t loved Miguel in months. If I ever did. I care about him, but it’s not the same way I feel about Jase. Maybe I never was in love with him. Maybe I just wanted to take someone from Dad so badly, I confused my feelings of friendship for love. If I loved him and he loved me, then he’d pick me over Dad. God, that’s more pathetic than just being rejected,” he rolls his eyes. “It doesn’t matter anyway. He made it clear where I stand in his life and I’m through hurting myself too. He and his idiot friend were playing with an M-80 firecracker and blew up a mailbox. He got hurt. Broke his nose, chipped his tooth, probably had a concussion due to how out of it he was…, Hawk ran off. Miguel came to me at Granpa’s and I hid him. Tried to help him. Tried to convince him to call Dad or his mom. He knew I could get in trouble for that. And he knows that if I get in trouble again, it’ll be real trouble. I’m not getting community service. I’m going to jail. He knows that and he still came to me. He said I made him feel safe. Whatever. The next morning, I convinced him to let me call Dr. Ali. He told her what happened and I said Hawk was involved…, it wasn’t fair that he was going to get all the blame when that moron was just as guilty. He blew up at me. Then lied and said Hawk wasn’t involved. Hawk left him wandering around, drunk, hurt, and disoriented to save his own ass and he was protecting him. I hadn’t done anything but try to help him and he didn’t give a shit that I was risking juvie to do it. He’s never going to care as much about me as I do for him, so I’m done. I can’t be his friend anymore. No matter how much I may miss him. Because he was never that much of a friend to me.”

I nod and pull him into a hug. “Well. Only you can know that. But if you’re saying he’s not your friend because of that incident, I think you may be discounting your whole friendship. You should maybe try to see things from his side before you throw it all away.”

“Yeah,” he laughs. “Especially since it seems Dad is hitting on his mom pretty hot and heavy. Not speaking to my stepbrother might get a little weird and I’m running out of places to run.”

“Well, you’re always welcome here,” I say, hugging him again. “You’ll want to come to visit Axel anyway. Because I don’t think you’re going to be able to get her away from Lexie and Alex when you leave.”

He laughs again and we head back to the house.

I send Robby up to his room to change and go in the kitchen to talk to Alex.

“How did it go?” he asks.

“Pretty good,” I admit. “I finally got him to talk. But damn. Everything that kid says makes me want to give him a hug and a cookie. Maybe I helped him though.”

Alex put the knife he was holding down and wiped his hands on a towel before coming over to hug me.

“Even if you didn’t help, you cared enough to ask, and he’ll remember that. And maybe he’ll come back to you before he goes off the rails again, and that is something.” He kisses me. “You can’t save the world, Bobby. But that you try is why I love you.”

I smile. “I love you too.”

@everyonesfavoritegoldenboy @chickskickasstoo @therunawaystudent @dr-ali-mills (Just so that you all see it because some of the Bobby posts aren’t showing up in the timeline.)

#cobra kai rp #finally talking #advice #hug and cookie at the ready

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reivenesque · 6 years

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A Cobra Kai Post Tournament Fic [H/C. Friendship]

Running in a Serpentine Fashion Chapter 1: Diaz

(AO3)

It had been nearly a week since the tournament – which they won, by the fucking way... not that it really even felt like it – because Sensei Johnny was still moping around over god knows what attempting to drown himself in his office with six-packs of lukewarm Coors light. Miguel didn’t realize when sensei even made the switch. He was the one who always said light drinks were for pussies.

They won in spectacular fashion, like one of those cool underdog sports movies and his sensei’s reaction had been… cold at best, which confused the hell out of Miguel. He taught them to win and they did, and his lack of enthusiasm about it was just frustrating as shit. And strange, even by sensei’s definition of strange.

It didn’t help that stuff was weird at home as well. His Yaya was totally over the moon about his win (something about him finally becoming a man that isn’t such a doormat) and his mom had been happy and proud – at first at least, or that was how it seemed on the surface. Miguel could always tell when his mom had something that she needed to get off her chest. She kept acting all strange about him and saying pointed stuff that he couldn’t really understand. But whatever she really wanted to say she kept pent up – which happened like never, so whatever it was was obviously something huge.

It wasn’t until that evening that she finally out and said it while she was bent over the sink washing the dishes and Miguel had come into the kitchen to get a drink. “You were really quite violent with that kid at the tournament the other day. I almost didn’t recognize you for a minute there, mijo.”

And finally everything seemed to click into place.

“I won didn’t I? Strike first, strike hard; no mercy. That’s the Cobra Kai way!” he said. His mom didn’t respond to what he said and when he looked up at the silence he found her eyes shining with what seemed like sadness as they continued staring him down. “Whatever,” he said. He didn’t want to get into it, least of all with his mom and least of all right then. Sensei Johnny was being a moody dick, his mom was being weird and neither of them were reacting to his win the way he expected them to which was kind of pissing him off. So he shoved the orange juice back in the fridge and with a mumbled, “I’m going out,” he grabbed his jacket and left without another word.

Moon and Hawk were sucking face against the wall outside the convenience store they were at, making really gross sucking sounds that were getting super annoying and attracting too much unwanted looks of disapproval from the old people passing by.

When Miguel left the house to get away from that uncomfortable talk his mom was about to make, he did it not with the intention of becoming the third wheel to Eli of all goddamn people making out with one of the hottest girls in school when they were supposed to be hanging out helping him lick his wounds. Thank god for Aisha.

“Nut?” offered Aisha, offering an opened bag of peanuts to him when he walked over and took a seat beside her on the sidewalk.

“Nah,” he said, waving off the offer. “Thanks. I think I have enough nuts in my life as is.”

“Problem at home?” she asked.

“At home yeah… and at the dojo… and at school… and with sensei and my mom and Sam and just – just when I thought things were finally going right in my life,” he groaned exasperatedly and buried his face in his knees, the very picture of wretched.

He wished badass Miguel from the tournament, the one who kicked ass and got the crowd all pumped up and shit would have stuck around. He was tired of being loser Miguel who didn’t get the girl, made his mom all sad and caused whatever depressive mood his sensei was currently stuck in. He thought he’d finally crawled out of that particular hole.

“Life sucks!” he bellowed suddenly, startling Aisha beside him into dropping the bag of nuts in her hand. She managed to snatch it up out of the air and continued picking at it like nothing happened.

“It does,” she said unhelpfully and completely unconcerned.

Miguel sighed and let his arms drop to the side, resting his forehead on his knees once again.

He didn’t know how long he stayed in that position, probably looking as pathetic as he felt, ironic for someone who just won the All Valley Championship; beating out people with much more experience than him. It was pretty rad for someone who just a year ago would walk around with greens stuck in his braces for hours without realizing it.

“Oh shit, you’re not going to believe this, Diaz.” It was Hawk who made him finally look up. Aisha was busy staring at an indistinct spot across the street and the fact that he’d actually managed to peel himself away from Moon’s lips to notice whatever it was that caught his eye, it must have been something really important. “Check it out, man,” he said what Miguel caught his eye, following in the direction he was indicating with a jutted chin

And up until that point, Miguel didn’t think his night could get any worse. But evidently someone upstairs named Murphy decided that he hadn’t had enough shit flung at him already.

Because down the street, illuminated under the streetlight, strutting without a care in the world and headed towards the convenience store they were convened in front of was none other than Daniel LaRusso’s super special protégé student, Keene.

Just the sight of him made Miguel’s blood boil and all of his other problems all of a sudden seemed almost unimportant.

“Come on, Miguel,” said Aisha, sounding almost concerned. “Let’s not get into this now. It isn’t worth it. Besides, you already won, right?”

Miguel could hear Aisha speaking but none of what she was saying actually registered. He sensed Hawk stepping up behind him, flinging an arm across his shoulder as he leaned in to whisper into his ear. “Round two, man?” He said. Miguel could almost hear the sound of the smirk on his face. “Remember what sensei taught us: strike first, strike hard. No mercy.”

“Don’t listen to him, Miguel,” said Aisha, ever the peacemaker. “Just let it go.”

Miguel was literally standing there with both an angel and the devil whispering into his ear and he didn’t know which advice to take. Instead he asked himself: what would Sensei Johnny do?

The answer it turned out, presented itself before the little sensei in his head could even begin to verbalize of an answer, when Keene got close enough to notice Miguel staring at him like he’d kicked his dog. Miguel didn’t own a dog in any case, he was terribly allergic to fur, but he imagined he would have that exact look if he had a dog and someone decided to kick it.

“Hey, Keene, out so late by yourself? Where’s your precious sensei LaRusso?” he asked. Beside him he could hear Hawk cheering and Aisha sighing exasperatedly.

Keene was about ten feet away before he slowed down to a stop, rolling his eyes and sighing tiredly when Miguel finished his spiel. He thought he sounded pretty damn cool himself.

“Look, I’m not looking for trouble,” he said, raising both arms in front of him. His shoulder must be feeling better since he was without the sling, Miguel thought, not that it mattered anyway.

“Too bad,” he said. “Cause trouble’s my middle name, and you just found him.”

The moment the words left his lips he knew he’d messed up his own cool monologue scene. Beside him he could hear Aisha scoffing and her derisive, “Dude, that was beyond lame. How are we even friends?”

He couldn’t even find it in him to fault her for that one.

“I’m leaving, okay?” said Keene without addressing the utterly lame point of conversation and if Miguel didn’t hate his guts so much, he’d be super appreciative of the guy not rubbing it in.

For a split second right then, he couldn’t even recall why he hated the guy in the first place.

But then his mind went to thoughts of Sam and it rekindled the fire underneath him once again.

“Running like a little mouse, coward?” yelled Hawk at his receding back.

Keene evidently took a much better course on witty comebacks because he said, “Well I can’t wait around all night for you to go fix that lame ass haircut,” which Miguel hated to admit, was a pretty awesome response.

It stirred up Hawk the wrong way unfortunately and Miguel found himself getting between Hawk and Keene instead of being the one leading the charge.

“Don’t be such a pussy, Diaz,” said Hawk, shoving him hard, forcing him to take a step back. “And you,” he continued, looking up at Keene who’d stopped to watch the proceedings interestedly, “We still have unfinished business.”

It was Moon who fortunately swooped in to save the day and the pun was definitely intended; grabbing Hawk by the hand and pulling him back to finish their exploration of each other’s facial cavity by the side of the store. Miguel forced himself to look away disgustedly.

He found Keene staring at him intently when he turned around. “What?”

It took him a moment to think up whatever lie he was about to spin, at least, that’s what Miguel’s brain told him what’s up. “Look man, I know you don’t like me, and I’m really… just… unbothered by any of you. But whatever you think went on with me and Sam… you’re wrong – and pretty stupid for messing up that badly with her.”

Miguel wondered why he stopped Hawk from beating the guy to a pulp at that moment but he reined back his anger. “What did you say?”

Keene seemed to realize his words because he raised a hand as a show of peace. “I mean, Sam was just being a friend, and nothing more. What happened at the beach party – she was talking about you the whole way there. Her mom took her phone and I helped her get out by pretending that I sprained her ankle so her mom would get her to drive home. That’s why she came to find you there and you did… whatever it was you did there.”

Miguel found himself speechless, his mouth opening and closing like a fish on dry land. It was not a good look in general, and it probably looked even worse on him. “What?”

“Yeah, man. You had a great thing going with her and you messed it up by being… well, by being a dumb guy.”

“But I saw you guys, at her house having dinner that night? She wouldn’t even think of introducing me to her family but with you…” the last part came out almost as a whine which he wasn’t proud of.

Keene’s brows narrowed, like he was trying to remember the dinner Miguel had mentioned. When it finally came to him, his eye roll was very obvious and very exasperated. “Christ, you really are an idiot, aren’t you?”

“Don’t call me an idiot!” he said, taking a menacing step forward but was held back by Aisha’s hand on his shoulder.

“Well then stop acting like one,” he said, causing Miguel to grumble. “I wasn’t there with Sam. I was there because her dad was teaching me karate and he invited me to dinner. Nothing more.”

As much as Miguel hated Keene calling him an idiot it was slowly and surely dawning on him that he really was a stupid idiot.

“Oh,” he said dumbly.

“Yeah, oh-exactly,” said Keene, and even though Miguel’s hate for him had simmered down by a lot, it still didn’t stop him feeling like he wanted to punch the guy right in his annoyingly pretty face.

“Have you come back to your senses yet, Miguel?” asked Aisha, “Cause I miss the dorky, nice Miguel who I joined the Cobra Kais with, not this… skinny, Latino terminator wannabe Miguel who’s really kind of a dick if I have to be honest. Sam deserves better than that.”

Miguel deserved all the name calling he was getting – and more. He really did feel like a fool, and a tool. He didn’t regret anything he’d achieved at the tournament, it was all because of his sensei that he managed to even achieve all that and he was forever grateful. But he couldn’t stop thinking that maybe he could have handled everything better.

His mom’s unspoken words the last couple of days suddenly made a hell of a lot more sense right then.

“Sorry,” he muttered to no one in particular.

Keene just exhaled, understanding that the indistinct apology was directed at him without Miguel saying it outright. “It’s fine. Will you all please leave me alone now?”

Miguel tried to stop the sheepish look from creeping up onto his face – he still had a reputation to uphold – but resistance proved futile. “Sorry about your shoulder too.”

“Don’t worry about it. What’s done is done.”

Keene really was the better man of the two of them. Miguel realized that old Miguel would never have had a problem admitting that, but for karate champion Miguel, the taste of it was still a bit bitter on his tongue. He was still going to have to work on that.

All of a sudden Keene’s eyes caught sight of something coming up from the side street and his posture immediately changed. The easy air that had come about him immediately dissipated. His brows narrowed and his shoulders became tense.

“Get out of here, guys,” he said to Miguel and Aisha.

Miguel followed his line of sight and saw a group of guys whose faces he couldn’t make out coming out of the side street, headed towards where they were standing almost in the middle of the empty road.

“Everything okay?” asked Aisha when her eyes too followed where Miguel and Keene’s were looking.

“Yeah,” said Keene in a clipped tone. “Just go home, this doesn’t concern you guys.”

From afar Miguel could hear one of the guys saying the name Robby in a teasing, sing-song voice. He felt Aisha’s grip tighten on his shoulder, gently pulling him back from where they were standing. Keene had turned away from them, facing the direction the group were coming from, his hands balled into a tight fist and his eyes narrowed.

“Come on, Miguel. You heard what he said,” said Aisha.

Miguel let himself be dragged back without taking his eyes away from Keene and glancing over at the menacing group closing in on him.

Keene wasn’t his friend. He didn’t even like the guy all that much – or at all. But looking at his back becoming smaller the further away he got, Miguel couldn’t help the odd clenching feeling in the pit of his stomach, like he knew something bad was about to happen.

Tbc.

#miguel diaz #robby keene #johnny lawrence #daniel larusso #cobra kai #the karate kid #aisha robinson #hawk #reiven fics #reiven cobra kai fics

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yespoetry · 6 years

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What ‘Lady Bird’ Got Wrong — And What It Got Right

By Joanna C. Valente

In a movie about growing up, you can expect a lot of pains. You can expect those silent traumas to happen without the main character fully realizing how a seemingly ordinary moment, like a slapdash comment from your mom about weight or losing your virginity to someone who is indifference to you. When you watch any movie about growing up, you know it’s going to be uncomfortable – which Lady Bird was, even while it made you laugh.

The abuse we see in Lady Bird hurts – and it’s dangerous. And what’s most dangerous about it is the fact that it seems so ordinary, so glossed over by the fact that it’s done with the best of intentions – that the abuse is done out of love. This is something we tell ourselves, as humans, everyday: If something is done out of love, it isn’t abuse. That isn’t true.

Lady Bird's mother, Marion, is often the culprit of this kind of “silent” abuse, whether it’s focusing on Lady Bird's bad grades (although you question how bad they could really be if she’s on scholarship), how she walks, what she wears, etc. Really, Marion picks on Ladybird just to pick on her, and takes any opportunity to belittle her.

It’s never necessarily what an outsider could call severe, or even abusive, since it seems like motherly nagging on the surface – but when you truly take a deeper look, especially into the fact that it’s unending, it really is abuse. Lady Bird never gets a break, as Danny pointed out. In many ways, her unhappiness and self-centeredness and need to lie, stem from the fact that she’s often told, even if by implication, that she’s not good enough. And she won’t ever be good enough.

The telling scene is when Lady Bird asks her mother if she likes her, and if maybe, this is the best version of her she can be, and her mother ignores the question, even makes a face. That says it all. That is abuse—and it’s the kind of abuse that teaches girls to ignore their desires, to feel small, to silence themselves.

Another telling moment in the film is when Marion stops talking to Lady Bird because she applied to New York schools (as if that is also a crime). Employing the “silent treatment” on your own kid when they live in your house, even after they plead with you and apologize profusely, is abuse. Considering Marion is a psychiatric nurse with a husband who takes medication for depression, she should also know better. She’s the adult in the situation, whereas Christine is not. Marion desires control, regardless of how it affects others.

This is what the movie does well: It portrays ordinary abuse, the kind of ordinary abuse so many of us have endured that we usually deny it’s abuse at all. Because it’s hard to admit when loved ones belittle us in ways that become part of our psyche. Yes, Christine is thoughtless and selfish (she is a teenager, too), and her treatment of Julie illustrates this, but she is never intentionally cruel.

When she realizes she has ignored Julie for her richer, cooler friend, Lady Bird promptly tries to right it. Lady Bird, despite her flaws, is not full of the kind of pride that prevents you from taking accountability. Her empathy for Danny is indicative of her openness—and her kindness. She could be upset Danny lied to her about being gay, but she also realizes it’s not about her. There’s more going on.

The thing is, many abusers understand what they do is abuse—and know what they are doing as they’re doing it. Marion, for instance, must understand she is mistreating her daughter, especially when she tells Lady Bird her own mother was an “abusive alcoholic,” also implying that anything less extreme must not be abuse, which is a way for her to rationalize her own actions. This rationalization is merely that, though, and not logical or ethical. As Paul Bloom wrote in his recent New Yorker piece on cruelty, “The truth may be harder to accept: that our best and our worst tendencies arise precisely from seeing others as human.”

Marion isn’t unintentionally dehumanizing Lady Bird when she refuses to use her chosen name (as opposed to her birth name, Christine), she is intentionally doing so – and because she knows this will hurt her. In order to actually hurt someone, you acknowledge their feelings because you can understand them, a kind of reverse empathy. If being cruel meant you actually didn’t view the other person as a human with emotions, you would probably miss the point of cruelty.

The fact that Lady Bird chooses a name for herself clearly proves all of these points: She is trying to find her identity, she is trying to shine like a radiant star in the same way she and Danny named their star Bruce, she is trying not to feel like a failure, she is trying to rise above the abuse and see herself as a survivor, not a silent victim. She merely wants to carve her own identity.

When she chooses not to use Lady Bird at the end, it’s a signal – both for Lady Bird's nostalgia for home (and her mother) and a way to show gratitude for the life her family gave her, but it’s also a strange sign of defeat. When she uses her birth name, we see her after one of the most isolating moments of her life, probably: Waking up alone in a New York City emergency room after having alcohol poisoning within her first month or so in college. That is not exactly a triumphant moment, and is also the result, perhaps, of her trying to cover up her loneliness and isolation, both from her family and her new surroundings.

Wherever she is, she doesn’t seem to “fit in,” and most of the film centers around Lady Bird trying to find her niche. In many ways, she romanticizes New York City, thinking she will find her place there, and in many ways, is disappointed she hasn’t – and perhaps begins to feel homesick for a place she couldn’t wait to get out of. This journey felt real because it was real.

For me, as someone who attended Catholic school for 13 years who often felt not good enough (and also dealing with feelings of queerness), who was the "poor kid" in a rich school, Lady Bird's world echoed mine in a lot of ways. I often found myself in the homes of other students, homes so unlike my own (and many of those students liked to point it out too), and felt out of place. Feeling out of place also means you can become silent, and try to blend in, or you have to find your real, authentic self. I chose the latter, as Lady Bird was also trying to do, but often struggling to (because who doesn't?).

Finding yourself is not an easy task. It’s not something you can simply do by moving, but by being honest and allowing yourself to fail. When we find Lady Bird at the end, in a bittersweet moment, we find her at the cusp of change, of potentially finding who she is. This is what the film does well – of not necessarily giving us everything we want in a neat bow.

But, in many ways, it’s also the film’s downfall, because we often do get what we want. The film is still portraying ideas of privilege and whiteness, with room for little else. While Lady Bird is definitely not rich, and often mentions how she’s the “poor one” who grew up on the wrong side of the tracks, she is still much more privileged than most: She’s white, in a middle class family who is sending her to a private Catholic high school. Beyond that, she’s also conventionally attractive, talented, and smart. While she is struggling like any teenager struggles with sex and identity, her struggle is also not unique. The American Dream (one of whiteness, wealth, desire) is there, but the film is not exactly a commentary on its toxicity either.

And really, the film, in a lot of ways, can be boiled down to this: She’s an attractive middle class white person who gets into college. And whose parents refinance their home to make that happen in a private New York City school, nonetheless. Going to college at all is a privilege, but an expensive one even more so.

And that’s where I felt disappointed. What about kids like Miguel or Julie or even Danny? What about the kids who aren’t privileged in the same way Lady Bird is? Lady Bird does suffer abuse, but her story has also gotten told over and over and over again in other films. Rarely do films focus on characters who are kids of color, kids with disabilities, queer, or even “unattractive” without a makeover at the end.

I left the film feeling disappointed that Julie, for instance, was relegated to a side character role. While this is part of the point of Julie’s character (she is the “nice fat friend” who gets ignored and silenced, whose depression is rarely explored), it’s also fulfilling the same vicious cycle, the same male gaze. Her story is never told—even though it’s a common one, it’s just a common story hardly told. At least, not common when there isn't a makeover at the end. The same goes for Miguel, who is Lady Bird's older brother. The same even goes to Danny. While Danny is incredibly privileged (he lives in one of the fancy houses), he reveals that he’s gay, letting us into the fact that he has a huge struggle of his own (especially at a Catholic school)—a struggle not commonly explored in coming-of-age films.

What would the film look like if the character was transgender or non-binary, having to choose a new name and pronouns—and watching as the people around them chose to react and welcome or not welcome that kind of change. While I loved the idea of Lady Bird choosing her name, especially in a time where choosing names and pronouns is especially relevant, I also felt this was a missed opportunity to explore more.

While the film doesn’t judge the characters, falling away from the easy stereotypes of jocks and popular girls and anarchy-loving boys that many 80s and 90s films do, it also doesn’t dig deep enough. It could choose to highlight more marginalized people in Lady Bird’s small Sacramento community, but it doesn’t. Perhaps that’s not what this film is about, and that’s fine, but I can’t help but wonder, why not?

The film so artfully deals with abuse, depression, classism and homophobia, even if below the surface, I wished it dug even deeper, into the parts of American life that everyone knows to be true, but rarely wants to explore past the picture perfect life with the happy enough ending. Because, let’s face it, the end of the movie is “happy enough” and the struggle all seems to dissipate, as if the abuse can be stifled in a travel bag. Perhaps, of course, that’s what Lady Bird wants to believe, and so we want to believe it too. And that, of course, is the magic of the film.

Even so, we can all go a little farther.

Joanna C. Valente is a human who lives in Brooklyn, New York, and is the author of Sirs & Madams (Aldrich Press, 2014), The Gods Are Dead (Deadly Chaps Press, 2015), Marys of the Sea (The Operating System, 2017), Xenos (Agape Editions, 2016) and the editor of A Shadow Map: An Anthology by Survivors of Sexual Assault (CCM, 2017). Joanna received a MFA in writing at Sarah Lawrence College, and is also the founder of Yes, Poetry, a managing editor for Luna Luna Magazine and CCM, as well as an instructor at Brooklyn Poets. Some of their writing has appeared, or is forthcoming, in Brooklyn Magazine, Prelude, Apogee, Spork, The Feminist Wire, BUST, and elsewhere.

#film #review #gender #lgbtq #art

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beautifulrzilience · 7 years

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Take it Easy Sister: Day 3

“Love does not begin & end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up”

- James Baldwin

Today was so different from yesterday. As text messages from friends, former students, colegas, and family started pouring in, somehow their words just grounded me back down to Earth. I woke up feeling happy and grateful this morning. Well technically it was like 11 am EST but since my body is still used to PS time, I was really awake at 8 am--still trying to get adjusted to the East Coast time. But I woke up feeling great and I took a nice morning shower because I wanted to go explore the streets on my own. I was on a mission to find Botanica Stores to keep up with my spiritual healing because that is a goal I have for myself this year. I want to always be spiritually grounded so that if anything hard comes my way, I’ll be better equipped to work through emotional or personal struggles. So that was my intention for the day. Botanica stores. Self care. Self love. Spiritual Healing.

One of my cohort mates (who by the way lives on the same floor as I do) hit me up and asked to tag along with me on my exploring adventures. She came straight from the motherland of El Salvador (never really had come to the US before). I reflected on what it must be like for her to be even further away from home than me. Here I was feeling alone in this big move, but here I have someone else, another Mujer de Color also on this journey to the PhD. I don’t believe in coincidences so I am glad Creator has placed her in my path. I’m glad to have a partner in crime on this journey. So I am glad she hit me up to explore.

We immediately hit the streets of Spa-Ha. Minutes turned into hours very quickly. I found a couple of Santeras here in my new community but none that really caught my attention. I was also in search of grocery stores that resembled my good ol’ Berkeley Bowl (cheaper version of Whole Foods) but to no avail. As my feet began to start to throb, we headed back to our studio apartments. To greet us at the door was one of the supervisors of the building- Don Miguel. MAN! This cat gave me so much life. I just asked him to direct me to the things I was looking for and he began to drop the info I was looking for. AND I think the best part that I got from him was when he said “Man, I feel like I know you guys all my life” *add Puerto Rican accent* ;) and it was true. I felt connected to this man, like a father figure of some sort. I dont know what compelled me but the next thing I asked him was if he was spiritual and he said “Well I get my cards read...” and BOOM. I knew why we were connecting. We were on the same spiritual frequency and the most exciting thing I learned was that he was connected to some really strong curanderas and santeras. I been wanting a limpia and tarot card reading for awhile now and it just all fell in my lap talking to Don Miguel. So a lesson I took from our chat with D. Miguel was that you always gotta open yourself up to people because more likely than not, you’re going to find a comfort in their energy...their presence...their words, and their kindness. He really uplifted my mood and made me excited thinking about how soon enough he was going to be connecting me to some of his peoples.

During my down time today, I was reading Hot 97 radio personality Angie Martinez’s life memoir, “Finding My Voice” and yo! You gotta read this book. I felt like she is talking to me--encouraging me to work through the doubt and fear that had been creeping up on me upon my arrival here to NY. Reading her own personal struggles and triumphs in NY made me feel safer. Again--grounding me back down to Earth. You know sometimes we get caught up in only reading academic journals and books--or we get distracted with what’s on TV that we don’t take the time to read about other people’s life. I’m really glad that I “randomly” bought her book because I’m picking up on all of these life lessons from her life. I want to make it a new goal to start picking up more books for pleasure. To keep myself balanced.

My boyfriend Lalo surprised me by taking me to Time Square today on the subway. And I believe this was like the highlight of today, because the instant i walked out of the subway into the streets of downtown Manhattan- WOW. The big lights, thousands of people (even though I don’t like crowds of people lol), the hustle and bustle, seeing so many different nationalities and races. I was star struck with the city. I felt...alive. The only words that kept coming out of my mouth was “Shit!”-- “Wow..” And something inside me tells me that I am going to be alright. New York City is a big place but I don’t know- words dont can’t explain the love I felt explode out of my as I walked the stairs only to be greeted by the flashy lights of Broadway. I am thankful for today and my excitement is coming back. I know there’s something big waiting for me here. As I sit here looking outside of my window, watching the rain drops hit the humid streets of Spanish Harlem--my new home-- James Baldwin’s words hit me like poetry...love is a growing up. I’m on my new phase of life, going through some more growing pains. It’s all love.

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wherearchthou · 7 years

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Thailand

Admittedly, and naively, I always told Nick that I had little interest in traveling to Asia. In my mind, Asia seemed far away, chaotic, and to be frank, challenging. When we were planning this trip, we knew we needed a stop in Asia, not only to help get us around the world, but also because it seemed like a great opportunity for Nick to convince me that my preconceived notions about Asia were not entirely correct. Let’s just say…Nick was right…and I’m feeling bad for casting a giant net of invalidated opinions on an entire continent.

We had two long flights to get us from Lisbon to Bangkok. The first flight was 8 hours long and the second flight was 6.5 hours long. Our layover was in Dubai and as we walked up to the gate to board the flight, the woman checking us in told us we were upgraded. Immediately, I put on my, “Oh yeah, of course we were upgraded. This happens to us all the time” face. In reality, my head was spinning and thinking, “OMG! Things like this never happen to us! We just got upgraded on Emirates! On a double decker plane! For a long flight! I hope that once we’re on the plane it’ll be delayed!” Armed with smiles of disbelief, we moseyed onto to the upstairs of the plane like we knew what we were doing (we are traveling with backpacks - we clearly did not belong on the upper deck in business class). When the flight attendant offered me three different types of champagne, I literally said, “Awesome!” I struggle to sleep on planes and this flight helped me find the solution - lie flat beds! It looks like I’ll need to find another career if I want to continue getting any sleep on planes.

With 4 hours of sleep under our belts, we landed in Bangkok with sleepy eyes, yet eager to explore Thailand. Bangkok provided quite the hustle and bustle for my first glimpse into a city in Asia. From the airport, we easily hopped in an Uber to our hostel and Nick was tasked with the challenge of keeping me awake. He accomplished this by taking me to a local outdoor market, as well as to a yummy outdoor restaurant for our first taste of local Thai food.

While our time was short in Bangkok, we managed to get to two amazing temples where I immediately regretted the hesitation and preconceived notions I had about Asia. First, we saw the Reclining Buddha and then walked a few blocks to the Grand Palace. While the Grand Palace was stunning, I have never, ever been thrown in the middle of so many tourists with no shoes on (you take your shoes off to go into the temples). The slight stench of stinky feet aside (mine included), the architecture, attention to detail, and grand scale of these temples had me at awe. I’ve never seen anything like it and Nick says he felt the same way on his first trip to Asia.

After a whirlwind day in Bangkok, we hopped on a flight to Chiang Mai, a much smaller city in Northern Thailand. Many, many friends recommended traveling to Chiang Mai. So many friends recommended Chiang Mai, that we were constantly busy and never lacking in something to do. We checked into our hotel - yes, hotel [insert those praising emoji hands here]- in the afternoon and set out to explore. We found a restaurant to order spicy shrimp soup, massaman curry, and a pork and basil dish for dinner. And this is when we realized the food in Chiang Mai would ignite our love affair with Chiang Mai.

Sunday morning, we lazily woke up and then I got a legit head, neck, and shoulder massage (for $8) by the tiniest and strongest woman I’ve ever seen, while Nick wandered the streets and got his bearings. I opted for “medium” pressure during the massage and I can’t begin to imagine “strong” pressure. While many aspects were similar to a massage in the US, a Thai masseuse does a lot more moving and stretching of your body (and I didn’t even get a traditional Thai massage!). At one point when I was in a completely contorted position and she was trying to stretch me even further, she kept saying, “Relax! Relax!” as though I would stretch more if I relaxed. Had there not been a language barrier, I would have said, “I promise I am the most relaxed I’ve ever been. But no matter how hard you try to stretch me, it’s not happening. Despite years of yoga, I remain quite inflexible.” We grabbed lunch at a chicken restaurant called SP chicken where they are known simply for their chicken and rice, which is precisely what we ordered and devoured. We stopped by Wat Phra Singh, a temple within Chiang Mai, before we went to a Thai cooking class. There is no public transportation in Chiang Mai, so in lieu of buses, there are trucks with bench seating (it’s more legit than it sounds or looks).

So, we hopped into the back of a truck with 2 people from Spain and a family of 4 from France and we set off into the Northern Thailand countryside for our cooking class. Our 4-hour class was perfect. The backdrop of a beautiful rural landscape provided an amazing setting for learning how to cook some traditional Thai foods, including mango sticky rice, pad thai wrapped in an egg, roasted morning glory, and green curry. Everyone in the class had their own cooking station and the company did a great job helping you attempt to learn how to cook Thai food in 4 hours.

Monday was one of the most surreal days Nick or I have ever had. We spent the entire day hanging out with 2 elephants named Miguel and Boon Peng (both female). With advice from a friend, we went to the Elephant Nature Park. The Elephant Nature Park is about an hour north of Chiang Mai located on 300 acres of land. The volunteers and workers care for and rehabilitate elephants that have been harmed in the tourism and logging industries in and around Thailand. Many of the elephants have broken bones, are blind from being beaten, or have severe psychological damage from how they were once treated. When we initially looked into the park, all of the “visit the park” morning or afternoon trips were completely booked. Of course, the only option left was the more expensive option that included extra time with the elephants or things we normally wouldn’t choose to pay for. Not wanting to miss out on the opportunity, we decided to spring for a trip called “Pamper a Pachyderm.” This tour took us outside the park for the morning to visit with locals who once treated the elephants poorly and now work with the Elephant Nature Park to rehabilitate them. We were supposed to be with 4 to 6 other people, but we seem to be on a lucky streak (it’s probably over now, because I am typing this, therefore jinxing us) and there was nobody else on our tour! Nobody else! We began our tour by cutting cucumbers for the elephants to eat.

We then fed them 3 laundry baskets of cucumbers by placing the cucumbers in their trunk or in their mouths. Miguel and Boon Peng were on the older side, which meant they were particularly gentle, which allowed us to be able to get so close to them.

After the cucumber feast, we went on a walk with our elephant friends walking alongside us. During the walk, we fed them bananas, which they also devoured. We stopped near a waterfall to have a beautifully prepared Thai lunch while the elephants guzzled down their own lunch of bamboo leaves.

Next, we got in a river with the elephants! We tossed buckets of water on them as they sprayed water with their trunks to cool down.

After saying goodbye to our new gal pals, we got in a raft and headed downstream to the nature park. There was a moment before we got in the raft that I was pretty sure my life was going to end on this rapidly flowing Thai river. Despite a wild raft guide who knew justttt enough English to make you feel mildly comfortable putting your life in his hands, we made it safely to the Nature Park to learn more about their mission.

At the end of the day, Nick and I both said that our tour was worth every penny. Our guide, Deng, was smiley, knowledgeable, and friendly. When not talking about elephants, we spent the rest of our time with him talking about English idioms and how challenging it was for him to learn them. He kept saying, “Why would you say something like, ‘Beat a dead horse?!’ Nobody wants to beat a dead horse!” We had some good laughs and are beyond grateful for the experience and humbled by the opportunity to literally hang out with these gentle giants.

Our last night in Chiang Mai was filled with more food. Chiang Mai is extremely well known for their food and it is most evident in their street food. We found the well known “cowboy hat lady” where we ordered her famous dish of roast pork, rice, and a soft-boiled egg. We also found sukiyoki which is sautéed cabbage, beef, and noodles with sauce. Last but not least, we thoroughly enjoyed the most famous northern Thai dish of all- Kao Soi, a Middle Eastern rooted spicy soup with chicken or beef. Our last day in Chiang Mai was spent exploring temples. All are unique in their own way and all continue to leave me in awe. We left Thailand with full hearts, happy bellies, and a friendly reminder to smile often.

We are currently staying overnight in the Singapore airport- which is quite a nice airport to be stuck in for a layover- and headed to Bali in the morning. Our trip has been amazing and wonderful, yet traveling can be very challenging and exhausting. At least for a few days, we are excited to have our decision making only involve deciding which beach to sit on.

#wherearchthou

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laisribeirodaily · 7 years

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Lais Ribeiro talks about Victoria's Secret and sensual shots: 'I'm all clumsy'

RIO - ‘Mom, are you famous or something?’ Asked Alexandre, the 8-year-old son of Lais Ribeiro, after seeing a photo of her in a magazine. The piauiense, 26, explained that the story is not quite so, that she is just a model. A top model – at that – with perfume campaigns for the brands Tom Ford and DKNY in the like, and a handful of shows for brands like Givenchy, Balmain and Gucci. Oh, of course, there’s also that pompous angel contract from Victoria’s Secret, signed in 2015, which put her on the same level as Adriana Lima and Alessandra Ambrósio.

“I just renewed my contract with the brand for two more years,” Laís reveals, as if this were a commonplace thing. “Victoria’s Secret has changed my life socially and financially. It gave me security. I do not have to be in a rush every month.”

While she is being made up for this cover story, photographed at the Cais Studio, in the dock area, the top model does not remember anything about that hurricane feeling that usually appears at the American lingerie fashion show. Which is not to say that her typically Brazilian beauty is not disconcerting, even while she is static, sitting in the makeup artist’s chair. But it is at the time of the photo that the magic, in fact, happens. Untiring, Lais tosses her hair, makes faces and mouths and even jokes. The model dominates the scene, using monochromatic looks, that pass away from the monotony with necklines and adjusted forms. Through the corners of the studio, the team never tires of extolling the sculptural body of the top model, singled out as one of the hottest in the fashion industry by the website Models.com. In action, Lais Ribeiro is pure explosion.

With her voice hoarse because of a flu, the model recalls adolescence between Miguel Alves, her hometown, in the interior of Piauí, and Brasília, where she lived for more than 10 years. In college she was called Olívia Palito and beanpole, a script similar to the one lived by other models. But she did not cower, she was going up.

“I was aggressive, I wanted to fight with everyone,” she says. “I did not think I was sexy before I moved to New York. In Miguel Alves, thinness was not synonymous with beauty. In the United States, with the compliments I received, I changed my mind.”

ON THE GROUND OF GIVENCHY

Lais Ribeiro says that a career in fashion was not always an option. At 19, she wanted to be a nurse. She even went to university. But a friend who was a model insisted that Lais look for an agency, and she was convinced. With a child of a year and a half to raise, she understood that this would be a great chance of her life. She did not hesitate: she left college and, in 2009, began to explore this new world.

In early 2010, Lais walked more than 50 fashion shows between Rio and São Paulo. She then conquered Manhattan. In the New York shows for winter 2011, she was escalated to the shows of Marc Jacobs, Michael Kors and Vera Wang, for example. She had the charisma and the perfect measures for the catwalk in her favor, since she did not speak a word of English. In the same season, she was seen at Dolce & Gabbana, Blumarine and Roberto Cavalli in Milan and dressed in the creations of Dior and Givenchy in Paris:

“I still remember Givenchy’s fittings, which was scheduled for 10:00 pm, but ended in the morning. I was outraged. I called the agency complaining. Finally I slept on the floor of the studio. I have a picture covered with a coat that the casting director put on me.”

A SLAP ON THE WRIST

After a first-time fashionable moment, Lais Ribeiro saw her career take off again in 2010. Confirmed at the Victoria’s Secret parade, she welcomed the hotshot brand, who invited her to sign the angel contract in 2015. For her, the wings that she wore in the first show helped.

“They were very heavy. I had purple bruises on my shoulder,” recalls Lais, who has since been absent only in 2012.“ I fell and twisted my foot in the rehearsal. I could not walk. On the day of the show I went backstage, but there was no way. I would of opened the segment on which Rihanna sang “Diamonds,” then Behati Prinsloo replaced me. Later, in anger, I ate all that I could.

With laughter, Lais reveals that she has been given a few tugs on the ear from the Victoria’s Secret team. She thinks she’s posing topless too much.

“How do they get the girl who has the most chest to pose like that?” She asks. “For the other angels, it’s simple to cover their breasts, but I’m all clumsy trying to hide the situation with one arm. People think I have silicone implants or that I wear push up bras. But I’ve never had plastic surgery, thanks to my good God.

DISCRETE FRIENDS

Lais Ribeiro may want to reduce topless shots for Victoria’s Secret, but it’s a fact that her angel-sculpted body catches everyone’s attention. And it was precisely her breasts that made her “break the internet” in September last year when she stripped off for the French magazine “Lui,” known for their sexy photos.

“It must have been because my front was showing,” she teases.

Lais, who dates American basketball player Jared Homan, confesses that he is discreet and prefers the company of friends he has made outside of the fashion world. His routine in New York includes, for example, the Sunday Mass in St. Patrick’s Cathedral. All because the model makes sure not to be dazzled.

“We need to have a bit of reality. Some people lose their notion in this environment. Being a mother helps me keep my feet on the ground, I know why I’m doing this job,” says Lais, who does not rule out being an actress. “It was not a plan, but who knows, if I do make a movie?”

#I translated it the best I could #if anyone who speaks Portuguese has any corrections you can submit them!#lais ribeiro #interview #ela magazine #caderno ela magazine #black models #victoria's secet model #vs angel

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