#muffled arson (pyro)

[tf2incorrectquotes]

Medic: Remember, everyone, trans and non-binary people can do anything!

Pyro: *muffled* I'm gonna do arson!

Medic: *giving Pyro the thumbs up* Trans and non-binary people can do arson!

Pyro: *muffled* Y a a a a y ~ ~

#source: unknown #TF2 Medic #TF2 Pyro #team fortress 2 #incorrect quotes

[tf2-oneshots]

I am vibrating at frequencies previously unknown as I type this but. Sniper x pyro x scout polyship... i don't have any wants or needs ever I just need those three in literally any scenario. (I mean ANY scenario)

a man of culture i see

Warnings: death, arson, implied sex

Rating: Explicit

Sniper fires his rifle, watching his target fall into a brainless heap seconds later. He reloads, eye trained on his scope as he looks through the windows of the mansion. Scout runs out the door with Pyro at his side before they barricade it with a metal rod. Looks like a fire iron the two must have snagged from a fire place.

Pyro takes out their flare gun, shooting several through the busted out windows while Scout covers their back. Sniper helps him take out body guards, killing each one alongside the American. Once Pyro has sent enough flares into the mansion, they run around back.

“Gonna get the garden too, huh? Hehe, that’s my arsonist.” The same garden with a hidden cellar behind a cabbage patch. Sniper can see the front portion of the house brewing an orange glow from the inside. A moment later, Pyro returns with a trail of flames leading towards the backside. No survivors as instructed.

With the last man down, Scout takes off his hat and waves it in the air. Sniper sets aside his gun, returning the gesture as he stands from his tree branch. He then climbs down, landing on the earth without a single scratch. He pulls the leaf cover off of the camper, lazily folding it and stuffing it in the storage box.

“Did you see how I took out those losers? I was all ‘pow pow! Bonk! Boink!’ And they started crying!” Scout bolts into the camper, shaking it with his burst of energy. Pyro enters a moment later to clap their hands and offer a muffled cheer.

“Hehe, you did good, Roo. You both did. Let’s get the van packed so we can get paid.” Pyro makes a quick call to Miss Pauling, confirming their completed contract before picking up loose laundry. They make the bed, pulling out a random pair of socks from the sheets.

Sniper puts away their food, making a checklist of what needs restocking while Scout cleans. He wipes down the counters, not stopping until that one stubborn stain was gone. Nothing a bit of elbow grease can’t solve.

Once the camper is ready, Sniper drives them back onto the main road. He looks in the rear view mirror as the mansion collapses from the massive flames. Nice and efficient, just how he likes it. No chance anyone survived a fire like that.

“Mmph! Mm hudda mmph.” Pyro places their plushy against the pillows, tucking it in. They nuzzle the stuffed animal’s head before climbing down the ladder. Pyro takes a seat next to Scout at the dining table where an arm is slung over their shoulder.

“You said it, hot stuff. All that’s left to do is get paid.” The American turns to face Pyro, pecking the cheek of their mask. Pyro reveals their lips and brings Scout in for a proper kiss. Scout places a hand on Pyro’s hip and tilts his head.

They drive past sunset until the trio find a rest stop. Sniper parks towards the back, hidden between two RVs. As he enters the back of the camper, he sees Scout and Pyro still kissing. They separate, lips leaving final, lingering pecks before Pyro’s mask is slipped back on.

“Mmn hudda hudda?” Pyro steps out to allow Sniper into the booth. They go into a mini fridge and pull out a small box of leftovers. Scout slides next to the Aussie and lays a hand on his chest.

“Food court’s open all night. We can eat later.” Sniper says with a very eager American in his lap. His long make out with Pyro set his skin ablaze. Scout pulls off his shirt as the microwave’s door is pried open.

It’s an hour later when Sniper shakily pulls his face off of Pyro’s suit. He gives a low groan at the gloved hand rubbing his back. Scout pulls the strap out, proudly wagging the plastic dick with his hips. The bushman nudges his obnoxious lover away and stands upright to crack his back.

“Thanks for the support, love. Means the world.” Pyro, who has no interest in sex, tends to be the unofficial cheerleader. They often hold a hand or two, help the more complex positions, and act as a physical reassurance. One much needed when Scout impulse buys a dick contraption for Sniper.

The exhausted lovers are sat back in the kitchen booth, legs spread to air dry their intimates. They both receive glasses of water before Pyro picks up their unicorn themed wallet. Time to pick up dinner.

Hope you enjoyed this! -H

#team fortress 2 #tf2 #tf2 requests #tf2 scout #tf2 sniper #tf2 pyro #nsfwish? #sniperpyroscout #weed smoking girlfriends #idk the ship name eek

[hanktalkin]

Hey there. You got any tips for writing Pyro and/or Soldier, specifically?

I'm so angry I typed out a whole reply to this 2 days ago and apparently when I hit post now it did absolutely nothing. So I guess I'm doing this over again.

Soldier

I'll start with Soldier, he's a bit easier. A good template for his speaking pattern is this: [Military/Machismo declaration] [Follow up statement more calmly that elaborates on his line of thinking] [exclamatory, something like "oorah."] If you need him to speak for longer than three sentences, you can take that basic setup and mix up the order, try to read what you've written back in his voice to see if it fits. Here's an example.

“Soldier!” Demo called, splashing in his direction. “What happened, lad?”

“I have been ambushed!” Soldier roared. “I was accosted by ephemeral coldness, inimical dread, and then something touched my leg!!”

“Did it bite you or something?”

Soldier paused. “…Negatory. It appears I have just shot myself in the foot.” He looked down. “…Ow.”

New TF2 writer trap is putting Soldier in ALL CAPS ALL THE TIME which it's not like that's not an aspect of his character, but Soldier can swing back and forth between that pretty easily. He'll warmly greet his teammates, call Scout "son" (even though they don't otherwise get along with each other) while still remaining hotheaded. Plotwise, you can have Soldier do almost anything. He's very persuadable. Even if you want him to do something that goes against his nature (non-violent methods, waiting/being patient) all you have to do is have another character explain it in a way that appeals to him morals (America, the abstract concept of freedom, "a good fight").

Pyro

Pyro is the most difficult merc to write due to having the least established canon personality. Most people struggle (myself included) because their singular consistent trait is liking fire, so fire ends up coming up in every other sentence. But then, if you go the whole fic without mentioning fire, is that even really still Pyro? Or have you spent so much time filling in the gaps Valve left, that that's now basically your OC?

There's one strategy to use: treat Pyromania like the way you'd treat the "family oriented" trait. If you have a Family Oriented character, and they're asked the question "do you want to move to another city?", their first thought will be how will that affect my kids? Pyro's first consideration will be can I continue doing arson there? It's not the only thing, but it's their main driving force, part of their backstory, the thing that jumps to their when evaluating things in relation to themself. Other considerations can come later. Pyro is shown to have other interests, such as

rainbows, candy, balloons/plushies, cute things in general

art (if you're including EotL canon)

being good with kids, liking babies

an understanding of engineering and business, even if it's something they're not truly passionate about

Pyro spends time when not actively burning things being generally chill. Stargazing, listening to stories, content to do their own thing.

There are two main ways to write their dialogue.

In game, they're very verbose, saying full sentences even if those sentences aren't understood.

When Pyro is the POV char: "Maybe we should go ask Medic?" (italics to indicate muffled)

When the fic is from anyone else's POV: "Mrdda hrm mphud hudda?"

2. In the comics, they're almost entirely silent. Most of what they say is inferred by other characters.

"Mph?" Pyro asked. "We can't go ask Medic," Scout replied. "He already left."

Hope this helps! These are more general/technical aspects, if you'd like advice on what they'd do in specific scenarios, let me know, and I can give more character interpretations for each of them.

#question mark question mark #tf2 meta #tf2 pyro #tf2 soldier

[maskedcharacterbracket]

Pyro - Team Fortress 2

• They love fire! They love arson!

• Fights with a flamethrower (that they built)

• Is a CEO of a million dollar company.

• The goggles attached to his mask makes them see the world differently: Things that are boring are exaggerated and turned into shapes that are colorless, but fire is turned into rainbows and guns into cotton candy!

• Their mask muffles everything they say! Who the hell knows their gender, name, or anything!

[justyoursicanon]

Ooh! Cupcakes are done!

. . _________________________________________________ . .

Summary: Another wonderful day at Flames n' Fumes bakery, with it's deliciously baked goods from bread to cakes, and usual customers coming by to eat and chat. Come and watch as this talented, arsonist, and baker goes throughout their day.

. . _________________________________________________ . .

(A/N: Another oneshot from another idea reblog with @ghostthecryptid which started with what does Pyro do in the bar with the mercs, then moved onto Pyro being a bartender, and as seen right now, Pyro as a baker! And I seriously could not resist. So I would like to thank Ghost because their ideas are just amazing. And now, lets move onto the story!)

You may start reading! ^^

Tick tick tick

The oven continued to tick loudly throughout the silent building. The many rays of the sun beaming through the many slots of the blinds from the bright outside sky.

Another few ticks went by, and then footsteps. The sound of noticeably squeaky boots touched the ground with every step, and they stop in front a counter with a radio on the near edge, the box in a nice shade of pastel red. A gloved hand presses the power button and the box came to life, a nice classical instrumental music flowing through the entire room.

Pyro lets out a happy sigh, glancing around the clean and clear kitchen, knowing it'll soon be messy for another day at the bakery.

Pyro turns and quickly changes his rubber gloves, and grabs the soft gray cat paw like oven mitts, and grabs the white apron to tie onto themselves. Turning around, they happily skip over to the oven. Counting from 5, 4, 3, 2.. and..

DING!

Pyro clapped their gloves happily and quickly turned the timer off, waiting 3 more seconds before opening the oven door, letting the lovely smell of fresh baked dough, roam around the room. They gently grabbed the tray filled with freshly risen and delicious cupcakes out and placed it onto the counter.

They put both their hands on their hips and eyed the cupcakes in joy, practically sparkling behind the mask. They turned and onto the other side of the counter where it led to the cashier, with a big display of glass with other fresh goods connected to it, and turned on the light. Making them shine out throughout the room.

Looking back at the cupcakes that were cooling off, Pyro hums again and walks over to the front door, and switches the 'closed' sign to 'open'. As well as bringing up the blinds to let the sun continue to beam through the bakery.

Pyro goes back to the counter, where the cupcakes are now cooled off, and continues to pick up a few bags filled with various of colored frosting from the side.

Grabbing a pastel red one, they continue to gently squeeze the frosting out of the pipe and onto the cupcake base. Deciding to go for a nice simple strawberry theme.

A few minutes and soon, the cupcake was covered in many strawberry shaped frosting. Gently grabbing it, Pyro walks over to the cashier, where a spinning 3 layered plate displayed, and placed it on. Then turns back to make many more.

About another hour, the plate from top to bottom was filled with cupcakes covered in strawberry shaped frosting. And Pyro only continued to make more batter, while another tray was in the oven baking.

The store bell rung, and heavy footsteps entered the bakery. Following what seems to sound like 2 more pairs of footsteps. Turning around, batter filled bowl with a whisk inside and was held by both hands, Pyro was greeted with a usual customer.

"Good morning little arson." The man twice their size, Misha, greeted. Smiling softly down at the baker with a scarf wrapped around his neck, and a chocolate brown coat around his body.

"Good morning too Misha!" Pyro greeted, their voice muffled in the mask as always. "Here for a break? Or for a gift?" They asked. Continuing to mix the batter as their head tilted in curiosity.

"Da, it is for gift today. Ludwig and I are going on special date today. Want to be perfect as always." Pyro couldn't help but laugh in excitement. Misha and Ludwig were their favorite couple, always coming by the bakery every week to eat or talk. They were the cutest! And scariest. But to Pyro, it made it so much better.

"Well of course! I just finished a few strawberry shaped cupcakes earlier! Their filled with melted chocolate inside too!" They brought the whish out slightly, and gestured to the filled spinning plate that was protected by a dome. Misha took a few looks at the plate, and smiled at the baker once again.

"Da! These are perfect. 3 or 5 is good, if it isn't much." Pyro leaves the whisk in the bowl and places it to the counter. Quickly grabbing an unfolded box from the cashier drawer and onto the counter. "Oh it isn't much at all! I'll pack up for you in a second. Go ahead and look around if you want to buy a few more." Misha nodded to them, and continued to look at the glass that displayed many other various of baked goods.

In a blink of an eye, Pyro quickly folded the box and opened it, then carefully removed the glass dome to grab 5 cupcakes one by one and into the box. With a small clap, they closed the box and moved a step further down the cashier counter to open up another drawer and looked through the many small glass boxes of stickers, bills, and money.

Pyro grabbed a sticker with their mask and a bakery hat on top, a speech bubble was beside the head and it read 'Thank you for buying at Flames n' Fumes bakery!' with a small heart at the end. They turned back to the box and stuck the sticker on top. Inching it forward on the counter. "And done! Tell Ludwig I said hi as well!" They said, almost jumping in joy.

Misha looked at the box with the same soft smile, and nodded at the baker. "Thank you again, little arson. Will visit again soon." And he walks out, the bell ringing as the door closes.

Pyro smiles behind their mask and looked over to the side, where 2 other men came up to them.

"Hey there Py, how ya doing this nice morning?" Del, another usual customer, greeted. He was an engineer, and a close friend of Pyro, he usually came by to fix the oven, helped with a few recipes, or just stopped by to talk.

"Great as always! Wanna see the new themes I made last night? I sketched them out and I think they'll go great on the cupcakes!" Pyro couldn't help but bounce their feet while Dell laughed with a nod. Pyro quickly opened the same drawer, and grabbed a sketch pad that had many reference sketches both in and out of the cover and paper, and brought it on the counter surface.

Dell continued to carefully open the sketchpad with a smile, as he saw many familiar sketches of recent and old sketch themes for many baked goods. The smile only grew when he saw a few new ones that would indeed be perfect for cupcakes, and even cakes.

The other man that stood beside Dell, was a young man with a plain black baseball cap, red-ish brown hair peaked out, and he wore a red jacket that had white sleeves, and a familiar logo on both top side arms . "Oh! Your Jeremy right? Dell's mentioned you before! Your one of the coaches for Teufort High, The RED baseball team?" The man, Jeremy looked up, blue eyes shining happily at the mention. "Hell yea I am! Nice to finally meet the owner of the bakery! I've tasted a cake or 2 of yours and man is it good!" Pyro clapped in appreciation as they laughed excitedly.

Jeremy looked over at the sketchbook, and was surprised at the many colorful sketches. "Holy shit dude. You made these? These sketches are awesome! Thought you were just artsy with the food but man your great at it on paper too." Pyro giggled and waved their hand in embarrassment. "Oh please it isn't much! I have to make some references for all the food so it isn't all messy!" And they laughed all together.

A few minutes of talking, baking, and frosting. The day went by as always. Many baked goods displayed and designed, more customers coming by to talk or buy.

(Pyro even saw a glimpse of Jeremy talking to a new customer, he had a brown hat and glasses that kept shining from the sun's light, they obviously saw Jeremy's many failed attempts at flirting with the man but Pyro could only giggle behind the counter)

And soon, night had fallen over the bakery, and Dell and Jeremy left 2 hours before Pyro decided to call it a day.

With the smile still on their face behind the mask, Pyro was happy that another day was successful. And they finally flipped the sign back to 'close'.

The End ^^

#SiC anon writes #tf2 #team fortress 2 #team fortress two #tf2 au #tf2 pyro #tf2 heavy #tf2 engineer #tf2 scout #tf2 medic #mentioned heavymedic

[healpimp]

TF2 fusions!

#tf2 #own art #fusion #the real sex bomb (demoman) #huckleberry husband (engineer) #impulse control removing surgery (medic) #not my big friend. big BOYfriend. (heavy) #muffled arson (pyro) #stinky (spy)

[hellofa-ride]

How the mercs would react to a kid getting stuck on base and starts to see them as father figures: Part 2

(Hey ya'll, it's part two. Anyways here is part one. Again, y/n is viewed as the kid in this, I hope ya'll enjoy)

Pyro:

Quite happy. They weren't really expecting you to latch onto them as a father figure, in fact, they weren't even expecting that you would like them at all since everyone else thinks they're freaky. But when you clung to them, they did the same back. They're less of a fatherly figure, more of a brother figure, or even a best friend. Engie would be yours (and their) sort of.. "caretaker." But they would still try their best to be your dad. First of all, if you are quite young they would instantly start spending all of their time with you because they have the mind of a child, and you are a child. You two would spend hours upon hours together getting into shenanigans (and then the other mercs having to bail you two out) Also, the second you came into the base they would already "recruit" you on a mission. The only thing that stopped you from stepping out on the field unarmed and untrained was the other mercs insisting that you are trained at the least. They hadn't really thought about that, but they instantly jumped at the idea. Teaching you how to use their rain-blower? They were happy to do so. Of course, instead of properly teaching you how to use a flamethrower they instead created another demented firebug with a REAL flamethrower, who was swifter and now had the ability to fit through small spaces. Plus, you also got pity points from the other team. At least until you lit the blue team's entire base on fire with everyone inside, as you laughed and laughed. Speaking of that, you would also develop a "fascination" for fire, and you also grow some pyromaniac tendencies if you didn't become a pyromaniac yourself. This would be fine, except you are a child who is already known to have no impulse control (even less than Pyro himself) and you don't even have a proper gas mask or fire-resistant suit. So, you would get burned. A lot. When it comes to teaching, you would be just as clueless as them. The only way I could ever imagine you getting an education is if Engie, Heavy, or Medic insist on you getting an education, either from them or a private teacher. It's that or you learn things by mercs teaching you little things here and there. When it comes to punishment... Pyro doesn't really do that. You would also have many violent and destructive behaviors that were never managed. Of course, things like rudeness, yelling, or hitting your team would get some angry muffled mumbling from Pyro, and any burning of the red team's items would be punished by taking away your flamethrower. But anything that is related to destruction or arson on the other team, they would be all for. They might even encourage it, clapping as you "entertain" them by burning the other team's Heavy to death, as they scream in pain and plead for mercy. You would most likely gain a reputation similar to Pyro, maybe even more feared because you are a CHILD who has managed to kill the entire team multiple times all alone. You would also experience plenty of trauma-related around fire and fighting, considering your parent is a crazed pyromaniac who has no trouble with burning crowds of people right in front of you, maybe even encouraging you to join in. But, somehow you would sort of cope with it the way they do. By pretending it's all not real. They would likely end up unintentionally gaslighting you, explaining that you are not looking at a sea of people who Pyro burnt to death, but you are looking over the cotton candy fields where their friends like to have water fights as they all lay down on the ground just soaking up the suns rays and laughing, tired from all the running around with water guns. Hell, you might even end up having hallucinations from the trauma. Side note, you would also end with Engie as your sort of the second dad, Scout acting as your older brother/cool uncle, and Sniper being your uncle in a way. He would also call you “firebug” They're not the best. But they love you with every throb of their scarred, burnt heart.

Spy:

Confused, and angry. At least a first. When you latched onto him, he felt a cacophony of emotions. He was angry, annoyed, confused, but mostly scared. He was terrified of commitment, and when you latched onto him it was just like he was hit with a brick. The moment that you called him dad, he was close to tears. It was like reliving that moment with Scout all over again. It took every bit of self-control for him to not bend down and hug you. Later that day he went to his smoke room and cried for the first time in years. He didn't know what to do. His instinct to leave, to not get involved was overpowering him. He could deal with being in a group, getting attached to other mercs (and even forming crushes on them) but there was no way in hell he was going to have a kid. But for some reason, something stopped him. He knew he could raise you, treat you right, and make sure that he would give you everything he never got to give to Scout. That was the moment that he decided that no matter what, he was going to make sure that nothing was going to separate you two. And from that point on, he was your dad. Surprisingly, when he tries hard he can be an AMAZING dad. Of course, he installs the values he wanted in Scout onto you. He makes sure that you are polite, charming, have etiquette, sophisticated, articulated, and sassy. You are also very well educated in about.. everything. He would teach you everything he could from being a spy to learning how to speak french, to even how to manipulate people, he would show you it all. And anything that he didn't know how to teach you, he would hire a private tutor for every little subject. He would make sure that you were perfect, the ideal child, a prodigy, a genius. By age five, you could beat every merc in chess, even him. By age ten, you were doing equations men fifty years older than you with decades of training had trouble solving. The other mercs were one of the only things stopping you from never having fun. Well that, and the fact that you would constantly be out on the field fighting. After some proper training, he would have no issue with letting you battle. He is confident in your abilities (Since you "learned from the best.") and he knows that you can take care of yourself. Of course, he wouldn't pressure you to be perfect on every little thing. In fact, he was ready for you to make mistakes, plenty of them. Every one of the mercs would assume he was an all-business, no-play type of guy around you. And a majority of the time, they were right. Expect, every once in a while he would goof off with you, allowing you to do idiotic things that every child would and finally letting up on his strict rules. He would try his best to be involved in your life, doing everything that he never got to do with Scout. Speaking of Scout, you would most likely end up being close friends with Scout. But no matter what, there was one thing that Scout could never get over. How Spy so latched onto you, a kid that he just met but left him and his mom so easily. He would be jealous. Jealous that you got everything from Spy that he never got. A childhood. A rich, perfect childhood where even though you never had a mother, you had a father who was willing to do everything and anything to protect you. Also, Spy would end up sorta projecting on you. He would cry whenever you act like Scout. Not because he's mad, but because you just remind him so much of them. Spy would also have the ultimate trust in you. You would know information about him that the other mercs could never even dream of. You know his real name, how he met Scout's ma and how he fell in love with her, the other people he's pretended to be, his childhood. But most importantly, you know how he looks without the mask. Everyone keeps nagging you to tell them but you refuse to. He would also vent to you a lot. He can't risk talking to other people about his issues since they can be used against him, so you would end up being his personal therapist. Listening to his issues, dealing with him when he starts crying after he gets blackout drunk, or even just giving simple suggestions and solutions. A perk is that you would end up being the only person who actually can talk back to him or call him out when he is being an asshole without waking up with a knife in your back. He has a lot of trust and respect for you, and he expects you to feel the same way about him. When it comes to punishments, it is sometimes traditional stuff like being grounded, doing extra chores, or restricting certain privileges. But usually, he knows you are mature enough for him to talk to you like an adult about what you did. Similar to Medic, they would also give you elegant nicknames such as “étoile,” "anemone," or even "azure." He may be quite strict, and he may expect a lot from you, maybe even a bit too much, but he loves you to the moon and back. You are one of the best things that have happened to him.

(Okay, so sorry for only doing two people. Today I'm feeling lazy. Anyways, I'll do a part three, maybe I'll even do one for Pauling. ALSO, ASK ME SOME STUFF PLZ! Hope ya'll enjoyed it.)

#tf2 #tf2 spy #tf2 pyro #tf2 headcanons #headcanons #pyro #spy #tf2 x reader #kid y/n

[mytheoristavenue]

TF2/Bioshock HeadCannons

Hey, this is my first real post on here, so please don’t be too harsh if I do it wrong!

I have had an idea for a while about headcannons about how the TF2 Mercs would fit into Rapture from Bioshock 1 and 2! I’ll start with Pyro, and if anyoone likes the idea, I’ll keep going!

-Character: Pyro

-Roll: Alpha Series Big Daddy.

-This man, nicknamed ‘Pyro’ by his peers due to his link in a string of arson in his hometown, would have most likely been a homeless, schitzophrenic, drifter. He’d go by ‘Pyro’ after forgetting his name, going so long without hearing it, and due to learning disablities, he most likely never learned to read, write, or speak properly.

-Pyro would be lured to Rapture after overhearing a friend from the camp in which he lived, who planned to move to the city in persuit of a job in construction. Pyro followed his friend and soon found himself under the Pacific sea, however, when he arrived, his friend was nowhere to be seen, and he was suprised to learn that city had already finished construction. 

-Frank Fontain, Yi Suchong, and Brigid Tenenbam would find him a perfect candidate for their new program, as his low mental compacity allowed for easy control. Pyro immdeiately accepted the offer, adoring the idea of looking after children. As soon as his contract was signed, he was pumped full of Incinerate plasmids, sealed into an Alpha Series suit and his arm was amputated, before a flamethrower was crudely attached at the stump.

-Months passed, and Yi suchong was growing impatient with Pyro, as he had yet to connect with any Little Sisters, and began to plan his termination. Just as his decision had been made, Suchong was thrilled to find Pyro with a Sister in the Tea Gardens of Arcadia. The scientist watched on with curiousity, which soon turned into fury as the Sister plucked a flower, smiling before gifting it to the subject, and reached her arms up for a hug. Pyro gladly took her into his large arms, squeezing her, her gasps for air and muffled screams going unnoticed. 

-“Hey! Put her down, you big oaf!” 

-Pyro, startled, instantly widened his arms, before gazing at the ground, his Sister having fallen lifeless, no laying crumpled on the grass. He could feel the link sever, sending a harsh shock to his still beating heart. A gargled scream pierced through the small voicebox on his chest, his emotional and physical torment reverbirating against the walls and glass ceiling. 

-“Look what you did! You killed her!”

-Pyro’s anguish continued to tear through the air as he took a sudden running stance against the doctor, prompting him to escape.

-Subject Pyro now wanders through the tunnels of Rapture, spending half of his days, wailing and mourning his loss, and the other half in friendly mode, denying that he had ever had a Sister, search for a new one. 

-You can find him in Arcadia, usually in the Tea Garden. He’s drawn to it, though he usually can’t remember why until he gets there, upon which, he either beats a fist against the local porthole, trying to summon his Sister, or sits in a corner, picking flowers to give her when he finds her. 

-Do not apporach Subject Pyro, he will attack on sight. If you hear a static groaning in Arcadia, turn the other way. He cannot detect you until he sees you, but after he spots a target, he will not rest until you have been terminated. 

-If he does spot you, do not use Incinerate. The suit Subject Pyro wears is flame retardent and will not ignite. Elctro Bolt is also ineffective. Only hypnotize him as a last priority, as the moment e regains control of himself, he will attack. If you must engage, the most effective plasmids to use are Winter Blast and Telekinessis. 

#TF2 #tf2 pyro #bioshock #headcanon #crossover #big daddy #teamfortress2

[ink-e-fox]

All He Needed Was a Spark

Commission/Art trade with @axis-intercept!! It took FAR too long, but here it is! My first attempt at Medic x Pyro for the artist that never fails to make me smile ---- Before Pyro, the doctor was an old man. At least, that’s what he told himself- or, rather, that is what the evidence seemed to tell him. Before the Pyro, he was an apathetic divorcee who had very little interest in the world outside of his medical work. 

He woke up in the morning and scrubbed a large hand down his face before he took his vitamins, the large pills old men take, for no other reason but to keep a routine. He fed his doves before he brushed his teeth, cooing quietly to them in affectionately soft tones.

Toothbrush in mouth, he hunted for his glasses, not difficult to find, but a hassle when he forgot to place them in their rightful spot before sleeping. 9 times out of 10, he finds them on the floor beside his bed, puts them on, and walks to spit the foam from his mouth.

Then, he dressed. A monotonous and lonesome procedure, wishing he could call out to ask where his socks where instead of having to trace back his mental steps. 

He was more lonely than he would like to admit, the greatest joy in his life being the experiments he performed on the other mercenaries stationed at his base, discussing theories with Archimedes perched on his shoulder as he operated, earning odd looks from the other 6 mercs who seemed to be unable to comprehend companionship even if it were to crawl from their chest after an operation. 

Days seemed monotonous, nights seemed far too long, accordion was too happy, violin was too sad- the balance of the universe seemed so out of place.

He considered starting over.

He considered social arson.

He considered going back on the run.

When he met the Pyro there was… fascination. There was the figure sitting on his operating table, playing with tongue depressors like faceless puppets- and then there was the man in his file.

The figure was reportedly unwilling to show their face to the world, finding the comfort of the suit to be far more pleasing than properly socializing, though he did try from within the suit, to his credit. 

The muffled murmurs could be translated in time, so far the Spy had been able to make out “Good morning,”, the Scout claims to have heard “I will set fire to all things you hold dear,” (though there is some debate about this,) and the laughter was unmistakable. 

But, here he was, sitting cross legged on the operating table and murmuring to himself as he played with the tongue depressors and made them speak to one another, seeming to believe he was alone in the room. The action was childlike, fitting with the images the team had caught of unicorns and rainbows in their locker, but the phenomenon seemed more interesting than simply a childish... person.

Medic expected the tongue depressors to go flying out of embarrassment when he made himself known, clearing his throat loudly to signal his presence, but the tongue depressors simply stopped loving, his hands finding a nice place in his lap, his head turning to that the reflective glasses of his mask showed the doctor his own nervousness.

He steeled himself up, held his breath for a moment, then let it out. Things might be easier if he used this as a sign. Back in Rottenburg he had been a hit with the children, to his ex-wife’s surprise (since he seemed to complain about them incessantly,) but he hadn’t put on that smile in years-

He let out all the air in his lungs and breathed in a smile, taking a lollipop from inside one of his desk drawers. “Guten Nachmittag! I am so glad you have come, honestly most of zhese mercenaries seem to be frightened of me,” He actually felt an honest smile poking its way through the falso one. “I cannot understand vhy.”  The figure seemed to chuckle a bit and let themselves be distracted by the lollipop in hand “Ah! So you do like sveets! I do too, but I have a proposition for you. If you will take off your suit for zhirty minutes so that I may examine your health, You can have as many lollipops as you would like.” 

The figure’s posture changed and Medic felt an honest laugh squeeze out from his lungs in soft clicks as he imagined the eyes beneath the mask going wide with wonder. 

“Do we have a deal?”

The figure nodded, reached back to unfasten the mask, and froze in hesitation.

“Perhaps I can take off my coat in a show of trust?” He offered softly, and did nothing to hesitate when he watched the Pyro nod. “See?” He gestured to his arms, bare because his shirtsleeves were rolled up. “I’m fine. Now, you try.”

The man under the mask took the doctor’s breath away. A beautiful creature of pallor and freckles, a tuft of auburn curls growing from a darker base of closely cut hair on the sides of his head. Long lashes fluttered as the man’s green eyes focuses on the new level of light they were being allowed, and his posture seemed to correct itself as he took in a deep breath of unfiltered air and let it out with a self calming sigh.

Medic swallowed “See? Zhat vas not so hard. Ve are going to have to remove most of it zhough, I need to do a full physical if you vill be staying vith us, und I hope zhat you are, ja?” 

The redhead looked at the doctor and took another steadying breath before standing and unzipping the suit, letting it fall to the floor, and surprising the doctor when he picked it up and folded it again before he clambered up onto the table once again.

“Very good, very good” The German murmured to himself and pulled his gloves on to begin his medical evaluation.

The younger man jumped when he felt the cold of the stethoscope, huffing out a laugh to himself for that first moment of cold metal shock. He grinned out of one corner of his mouth when he heard the doctor praise him softly for having a strong heart.

“Ve vill have to do some research on your lungs, zhere is a bit of a wheeze zhat shouldn’t necessarily be zhere…” He was taking notes on his clipboard, standing basically between the Pyro’s legs as he did. His eyes found the burn scars on the man’s neck and shoulder, focussing for a moment and then ignoring them completely, a fact that seemed to intrigue the lad being studied.

“You can ask, I don’t mind.” There was no rasp, as one might expect, the Pyro’s voice was obviously used on a regular basis, and it was honestly pure in a honey smooth way.

Medic choked when he heard it. “I vould rather not pry, it looks healed enough to be simply mentioned in a preliminary.”

He walked around the table to view his back, warning him about the cold tool he was using. The Pyro paused in thought “Would you believe I fought a dragon?” He asked curiously.

Medic smiled and chuckled honestly as he scribbled down another note “As fantastic as zhat seems, I doubt you fought a dragon. Lay back?” Pyro did as told and giggled a bit as his body was gently probed for muscle formation notes “Well the dragon was a friend of mine who ate too many spicy candies” The ginger’s grin was infectious, finding the Medic’s mouth and eyes as he quirked a brow 

“Oh?”

“Yeup. A few years back we found a candy that was made from ghost peppers and it was so spicy he breathed FIRE!” there was a mischievousness in his eyes and his brows wagged in a knowing entertaining way. 

To Medic, the transformation from childish to casually entertaining was fascinating, his subject’s mind seemed to work slightly differently behind his mask, or perhaps there was a feeling of accepting anonymity- that was for another time.

“I have to ask, did your friend survive breathing fire?”

“Oh, he had some chocolate milk and was fine. I was the one who ended up in the hospital. That one, there was no nice doctors to offer me candies for sitting still.” He grinned wide, like middle school-er who had told the funniest joke he’d ever heard.

The child and the man were united, the Pyro had a spectrum of behaviors, and it was drawing the Medic in, not simply as a study subject but as a personality. “I think that all doctors should have candies, for adults and children-” he paused with a laugh “And everyone in between.” 

Laughing was an odd sensation now, he did not have many chances to do so since he started with the violence of his current job, but the casual childishness the pyro emitted was intoxicating with his relaxation.

“I think you can put the suit on, but I need to ask you a few questions, so leave the mask off, ja?”

His companion gave him a thumbs up and stood to slide his legs and arms into his suit, zipping it back up before sitting back up on the table. As a reward, the lollipop was given to him and he immediately popped it into his mouth “Do you have any allergies you know of?”

“I’m allergic to bullshit” He said around the stick of the candy and Medic choked on air, doubling over in laughter.

“Vell, I believe ve share zhat allergy. But I meant food or medicinal, along those lines” He removed his glasses to wipe his eyes.

“Um, I think I’m allergic to bees, shellfish, and probably the French because my trigger finger itches when that spy is around.”

“Gütt Gott” he whispered with a smile “You are witty, I vill give you zhat.”

“Well, most just call me hot headed, but I’ll take the compliment.” He shot finger guns at the Medic with a sly smile and he crunched the lollipop “Oh, damn, I always do that-”

“Any past injuries zhat I should know about before ve do your x-rays tomorrow?” “I suppose you mean if I've broken bones?”

“Ja”

“I assume I am to exclude in bodies other than my own?”

Medic snorted and the glint in the green eyes told him he was looking to find what made him laugh, as if he liked to watch the sight. “Ja. In your own body.” “I broke my arm at 5, my leg at 10, and a rib at 15. With the pattern I’m following, I shouldn't be in danger again for another 3 years. I’ve avoided it the last three cycles.”

Doing the math in his head, medic corrected his age on the paper. They conversed that way for quite a while, by the end of the session the doctor felt like he had worked out his abs more in that hour than in the last year just from laughing.

The pyro grabbed his mask and medic stopped him with a gentle touch to his wrist. “Why do you wear it even off the battlefield?” The smile he received was a bit sadder than he expected “It makes life a little bit more bearable, honestly. When I find something that does the same job, I’ll take it off more.”

He pulled the mask on and fed the stick of his newest lollipop through one of the grates in his mask. He threw the doctor a thumbs up and walked out, leaving that empty feeling from before sinking back into the room.

It was almost a sign.

After the Pyro is the best time he’s lived through. Now, he wakes in the morning feeling refreshed and with another’s scent on his pillow.  His lover smells like s’mores, sweet and ashen all at once, making him crave another day of candied smiles and fiery touches.  

He sighs deeply with content the moment his alarm rings and his grip tightens on the smaller man before him. His nose buried in auburn locks of hair, to which a hand that is not his either pulls him closer or pushes him away with a murmur of  “Oh just ten more minutes…” 

He climbs out of bed and dresses, glasses on the moment he wakes so he can see those green eyes every moment he isn’t right next to them. His figure clad in blankets curls to watch the doctor dress and smiles, cracking soft jokes and making them both laugh and hum tenderly to each other. 

He has someone to coo at other than the doves while he brushes his teeth, though it leads to lewd “Mouthful” jokes from the Pyro and has him choking on his own laughter and trying not to spit toothpaste all over the mirror.

More often than not, he crawls back into bed, sans his boots and coat, holding the lad with a chuckle and a smile, listening to stories and begging him not to make them late to breakfast again. His greatest joy is watching his lover smile, watching his eyes light up with happiness when playing a game or telling a story.

The doves adore him too, landing on his shoulders and nesting in hi hair when he stays still long enough. Some days they have identical “nesting hair” that the others mistake for “sex hair.”

It was a new beginning.

It was the spark his life honestly needed. 

He was never running again. 

And the realization came to him all at once as their lips met before both getting up to finish redying for the day- Pyro wore his mask far less often in the past few months. Perhaps he helped Pyro as much as his little spark helped him.

#axis-intercept #medic x pyro #fic #fanfic #art trade #i'm so so sorry #I hope you like it #I'm sorry if it's garbage

[tf2incorrectquotes]

Pyro: *muffled* Arson? Ooooh, you mean crime brûlée.

#source: tumblr #TF2 Pyro #team fortress 2 #incorrect quotes