#my thoughts are still incoherent but if you Get It you Get It

[winterrrnight]

bsf!Rafe who for once gets jealous and annoyed, and it's reader's time to remind him he's still reader's favorite boy

I adore your mind anon 😭😭 jealousy is such a pretty color on rafe <3 this is fr my favourite pairing to write for at the moment so I’m literally always and forever willing to discuss thoughts on them!! <3

bsf!rafe who gets sad jealous when he sees some other guy flirt with you… <3 listen to babydoll by ari abdul, cause rafe calls reader babydoll hehe <3 cw: suggestive content (no actual smut): intimacy, tension and neck kissing, rafe gets jealous, minimal swearing, rafe calls reader babydoll once, reader is a no bullshit taking kind of person, alcohol consumption <3 for @chenslucy (I love love love you heaps anna 💚)

part of this little universe <3

you didn’t even mean to, it just happened.

he cornered you at the bar when all you wanted was to get some beer for you and rafe, and said things like he’s been looking at you since you came inside the party mansion, and thought you’re the prettiest person he’s ever laid his eyes on. you knew it’s all the alcohol in his system talking; he wasn’t even all up in your face yet you could smell the alcohol on his breath.

it took you quite some time to tear away from the conversation; after a lot of convincing from your side that you were not into him, even when he kept on flattering you more and more. you finally escaped the conversation, letting out a deep sigh as you hold two cups of beer in your hand, the next task being to find rafe in the huge crowds.

little did you know, you were under the microscopic vision of rafe. he was in a corner of the party, watching you with his hawk like eyes as the guy talked with you. he couldn’t hear a thing, but from what he saw from the distance, you were being flirted with, and he wasn’t sure you were trying to avoid him or were enjoying it.

he contemplated coming over to break the conversation off, but decided against it. he didn’t know why, but he decided to just watch it all play out, and to see how you react. but what was not helping was his burning jealousy. how can some other man talk to you that way, and even think of making you his?

with a lot of struggle, you found your way through the crowds and finally spotted rafe. you could see he’s slumped in a corner, a scowl on his face. “here you go,” you said, holding out his cup as you took a sip from your own cup. rafe didn’t even look at you, just took the cup from your hand and gulped down most of the beer in one go.

“geez calm down,” you said, furrowing your brows a bit as you watched him down his drink too quick. he still didn’t look at you, and only finished off the drink in another sip. he tossed the empty plastic cup somewhere aside on the floor, and you watched it roll off and get crunched under someone’s foot.

you looked back up to see rafe’s jaw tightened, the scowl had not left him and his eyes were narrow. he was looking anywhere but at you.

“what’s up with you?” you asked, taking a sip from your drink and peering at him from over the rim of the cup.

“nothin’,” he mumbled incoherently under his breath, still not making any sort of eye contact with you. his eyes roamed around the party almost nervously, as if examining each detail and fixing it in his mind.

you rolled your eyes at his answer. “that’s not gonna cut it, come on, out with it. what’s up?”

he grumbled something incoherently again, but this time, you were not having it at all. the lack of eye contact, the bare minimum words; you had enough.

you took hold of his wrist and practically dragged him out of the party mansion, maneuvering through the sweaty crowd of young adults. rafe got caught off guard at first, but didn’t fight and he followed your lead. you led him outside where it was much more quiet, the music a blur and maybe a person or two hanging out, but it was more or less quite silent. you both were right besides the pool, and you sat down, pulling him with you too.

“what’s wrong? speak up, now, because I’m not having that mumbling nonsense you’ve been doing,” you said, your voice a bit cold as you took a sip of your drink.

you could see rafe looking at the water in the pool, the reflections of the calm water dancing across his handsome face.

“jus’ didn’t like you flirting with that dude, ’s all,” he muttered.

you furrowed your brows at him, almost confused as to what he was referring to but catching up quickly. “I wasn’t flirting with him, he was flirting with me. and being quite forward about it too,”

“yeah but you were smiling and laughing, don’t think I didn’t catch that,” he muttered again, his gaze not leaving the pool water.

“cause I was tryna let him down easy! I didn’t want to come off extremely rude,” you said.

rafe didn’t say anything or looked up from the water. you let out a sigh at the sight and kept your cup aside, scooting closer to him.

“look at me rafe,” you mumbled, your breath dancing across his ear. he slowly turned his head, his blue eyes meeting yours under the reflections of the water; the reflections a subtle green due to the dark green tiles at the bottom of the pool.

“I don’t care about that random dude, at all,” you murmured. “I never would, okay? fuck, I didn’t even catch his name, and frankly, I’m not interested in knowing his name,”

you could see his eyes softening. the moonlight along with the green water reflections lightened his eyes to an electric blue instead of the warm blue you usually saw him with.

“yeah?” he whispered, his brain suddenly registering how close you were to him.

“mhm,” you hum, your hand coming up to rest at the side of his neck as you gently rubbed the skin with your thumb.

you could see rafe’s eyes fluttering when he felt you starting to apply some pressure at the side of his neck, almost as if the sensation was sparking the feeling of pleasure in his veins.

“why would I do that when… I’ve got you?” you whispered, your hand coming off his neck for a moment but quickly replaced by your lips, a gentle kiss delivered under the whites of the moon and the greens of the pool.

rafe let out a soft sigh at the feeling, his head involuntarily tilting back as his hands slipped around your shoulders, holding onto you for stability when your kisses became more repetitive, yet were slow and lingered on his skin for a moment each time.

“you’re my favorite boy, always and forever, and don’t you ever forget that yeah?” you whispered, your lips parting from his neck for a second before attaching themselves back again, the same slow speed carried by you.

you could feel rafe’s nails dig into your shoulders through the fabric of your clothing, and that only prompted you to kiss him even more.

as your lips trailed up to his ear to gently press behind the delicate skin of his ear, rafe’s lips parted to let out the softest gasp, his body only craving that sensation on every inch of his skin.

“oh…” he gasped softly, tightening his hold on your shoulders.

“oh babydoll...”

— —

I think bsf!rafe’s nickname for reader would totally be babydoll, might include that more in the rest of the fics for them :p ANYWAYS I love them so so much and I would love to have any requests you may have for them ahhhh

#rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron outer banks #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron fanfic #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe cameron fic #rafe cameron x y/n #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron oneshot #rafe cameron concept #rafe cameron blurb #rafe cameron drabble #rafe cameron prompt #bsf!rafe x reader #bsf!rafe #written by edith! 🪄 #anon! 🪄 #edith answers! 🪄

[hoegender]

BREAKING: the most toxic duo is currently rotting your brain and you need to see more of them NOW!

keep reading for my very incoherent thoughts about these two

i'm crying idk why i'm so attached to ginkir suddenly but they are currently my guilty pleasure brainrot. i know gin is so so so toxic to kir (and to everyone else. what's new) but i don't ship them in the "i want them to fall in love and kiss" way i need them in the "gin is strangely and inexplicably obsessed with kir and the series will end with kir killing him with his own gun" way (incoming spoilers for movies 20 and 26 + the kir arc/the shuichi akai special collection)

i'm probably reaching with this but bear with me. gin is an impulsive, violent man. his first instinct when faced with anything is to take out his gun and shoot. he's shot kir multiple times - in the darkest nightmare, when she and bourbon were chained to a pole for being on the NOC list, then in black iron submarine, when she was standing in between gin and the eur•p•l agent he wanted dead. OKAY. but he's never shot her with the intent of killing her AND I KNOW THAT'S A LOW BAR BUT BEAR WITH ME.

gin kills as a safeguard!! he killed akemi because of her relationship with an fb! agent and she'd become a liability. he wants to kill haibara because she escaped and is a liability. but after kir gets literally captured by the fb! AND is suspected to be a NOC, gin doesn't...gaf?? gin goes through so much trouble to get her back alive when he could've just blown up all the fbi vans and gotten rid of not only kir, who may have become a liability at this point, but also a bunch of fb! agents to snipe their manpower?? ok gin

"she's an absolute beast when she's cornered" ok gin. ok. is it also because she's the only woman apart from vermouth who dares to manhandle you. is that it. ok gin. i'm nowhere near done with this quote yet i fear i've truly lost my mind. gin is so clearly impressed by the lie she told him about brutally murdering the c!a agents but from what he actually sees of her firsthand he knows she's doesn't like to kill. he literally has to keep telling her "don't hesitate". gin's not dumb! he should have caught on to her lie by now! he should already know in his BONES that kir is a NOC! AND SHE'S STILL ALIVE?? ok gin

the close-up shot of kir's hand on gin's in black iron submarine as she stops him from pulling the lever. people d!ed (me). on a side note i feel like i understand gin on a whole new level after these revelations. i mean have you seen kir

to conclude i think gin is really, really strangely tolerant of kir and i love thinking about him having some sort of weird confused one-sided obsession with her that he doesn't know how to express apart from doing what he always does and holding her at gunpoint. i want this series to end with kir shooting him dead because YES i know gin's true long-established rival (cough 恋人 cough) and the one who will probably actually do him in is shuichi but shuichi's not the one who's been subjected to gin's impulsive bloodthirsty whims as part of his little evil squad ok. rena deserves this just as much as shuichi does

ok about the actual art. sorry i probably could've translated all of my ginkir thoughts into a much better more intense and analytical comic but then i started giggling like a crazy person and this happened. sorry i made gin too babygirl. i need kir to kiss me

#i think rena should kill him #sorry about the whole ESSAY #detective conan #dcmk #dcmk art #gin #gin (detective conan) #kir #rena mizunashi #hidemi hondou #black organisation #ginkir #thihart #thiha goes insane

[jeanmoreaux]

jean’s novel being called the sunshine court… the implications of that… his being denied to see the sun when he was trapped with the ravens in edgar allan… getting out of there and transferring to usc to play for the trojans in the california sun… jeremy in tkm saying ‘we have to get him some sun this summer, though! he’s a little pale to pull off red and gold right now’… jean finally gets to live in the sun. i am so unwell.

#DO YOU GUYS UNDERSTAND WHAT I AM GETTING AT #i still have not recovered from the news #my thoughts are still incoherent but if you Get It you Get It #all for the game #tsc #the sunshine court #tfc #jean moreau #aftg #1k #*​aftg

[tuuuron]

"Only by allowing strangers in, can we find new ways to be ourselves."

Angsty The World Ends With You fanart! I had a lot of fun with this! (As always, please click for quality)

#TWEWY #neku sakuraba #twewy joshua #the world ends with you #btw i did not play this game i watched streamer dollipdaze hollyhollowtones and snapscube improve the shib out of this game #i have rewatched that playthrough four times and have converted my sibling #also anime wasnt bad! #josh is still a lil shib but wow i really thought we were gonna get proper josh redemption arc #and more importantly neku in the other city n josh n cat kiba saving him #i have so many feelings about this #they sound incoherent but listen #the potential #my art #fanart #digital art #tuuuron

[devotedlystrangewizard]

the school arc to me is so good because it drags ciel out of his position as a powerful figure and literally places him in the shoes of the person he could have been. the circus arc ALSO drags him out of his position as big bad queens watch dog/head of the phantomhive estate but the school arc feels like a mockery of a future that never was. this is what he could have been had his parents not died. and even then its NOT because he will never be that kid.

he never was.

#ramblings #incoherent beyond belief its 4 am #and im trying to avoid manga spoilers #might add a reblog with more coherent thoughts when i wake up but im off my meds so i cant promise anything #actually correction im being vague w the manga spoilers #manga readers know whats up #idk if there are any anime only ppl who havent been spoiled on The Plottwist Ever yet #but i figured there will be new fans and though im not tagging this it might still get seen so #cant WAIT to see our boy absolutely miserable in animation form should they recreate that arc LMAOOO #which ofc is after the germany arc so thats still a long time away #but STILL. itd be fun i need to see this young teenager lose his mind in color with sound #him relying on sebastian to do all his fag duties (sorry. dredge) so he can work his way up the social ladder #trying to gain power while simultaneously proving that he cant do anything but rely on others #hes always needed help in basically every way and he hasnt CHANGED he just got a demon to do it for him #he learns to lie and charm and cheat and all the while hes a fucking CHILD WHO STILL STRUGGLES WITH NORMAL THINGS #ciel is my little baby and i love him deeply no matter how much of a little bitch he can be #his helplessness isnt just 'oh he was raised in british high society' its also that he never got the chance to learn anything #which to elaborate on that id also have to go into manga territory. iykyk #like absolutely at this point he just refuses to learn how to do things he has a pet demon to do it for him #but. #hi the phantomhives backstory is killing me again its so late #both atlantic and the school arc are just setup for the Big Arc but theyre very good in their own right i SWEAR #also when i rewatched the circus arc a while back and i realised how some scenes were shot #the heavy foreshadowing that i didnt realise. yk. 7 years ago or however long its been since i first watched it #CRAZY #if you are new. to kuroshitsuji. and you havent read the manga. dear god. read the manga #ALSO GRELLE IN THAT ARC IS SO BEAUTIFUL & OTHELLO IS TRANSMASCULINE. OKAY GOODBYE

[akuma-tenshi]

wait how did kolya die. im p sure it was a long time ago during one of olya's stalker missions or whatever but i dont know the details. what happened to u funni man

dissolved in the grinder. in the incident where olya lost her eye and sergei got all fucked up. it's depicted in the mill n you can see sergei's scars in that one scene in punch it, punk! and some official art. i think nikita got his neck scar there too. iirc sergei saved olya instead of kolya and nikita (kolya's brother?? i think??) was upset at him for it, which.. understandable but also that's a really fucking hard decision to make.

my thing is we never saw his exact death, and we don't know if olya, sergei, and nikita saw the moment he died either (plus trauma kinda changes memories so they may remember it differently); we only know the aftermath. meanwhile with nikita we saw him get shot and like.. heard / saw his final thoughts in message lost (very underrated song btw i sometimes just go listen to it on loop for a bit). it's extremely unlikely that kolya is alive and is probably just getting attention / spotlight bc yura is becoming more entangled with the stalker lifestyle and therefore closer to both past and present stalkers, but i think it's a funky theory and fun to speculate on. i also just rlly like kolya's design, he feels like he'd be fun to chill with (i know nothing about his personality). if he's actually well and truly dead i won't be too fussed abt it but i like theorising lmao

#rambling #thanks for the ask!! #pafl #parties are for losers #pafl kolya #pafl theories #i'm shaking again #dear god i really need to calm down holy shit #anyway yeah those are my thoughts. mildly incoherent at best but i hope they're fun to read #it is mentioned that nikita had no living family to inform of his death #so that kinda throws a wrench into this #but it's very possible that kolya is believed to be dead but is still alive and just. never appeared for some reason #idk. used it to ditch being a stalker and start anew or smthn. but i'm theorising this on the fly i have no time to think on this #so i will get back to you once that theory has time to cook #also is it olya or olga?? #linguistic differences can be hard sometimes </3

[halforcdad]

serenading was really the last thing i ever wanted Kate to do as her grand gesture and i still don’t love it, but the amount of people who keep calling a big, awkward, public gesture hugely ooc for Kate and keep saying they miss the old whistler who wasn't dumb, oh DIA Whistler was so much better. its the show’s first season. i don’t think it’s even possible to be ooc when the writers are just starting to create these characters and we barely know them. we only saw ‘cool, confident, bossy dia whistler’ for about 6 episodes before 1x11 happened and changed everything, and while she’s still all of those things she was changing even before the breakup happened and with all the growth she’s gone through, she’s going to end the season looking pretty different to how she started (fair warning, this is a little unhinged and unorganized, just a little)

her arc has been about her learning to let people in and learning to be more honest with her feelings, to not be afraid of putting herself out there and learning how to stop pushing people away as a result of the impact Lucy and the team have had on her. it’s about making yourself vulnerable and trying to find people who will accept you even if you’re an awkward giraffe. throughout the season the writers have been telling us that she: finds it hard to be open and show her emotions, she puts her orders before her feelings at work causing everyone to view her as the ‘bad cop’ and that sucks, she really wants to make connections with her coworkers, but she doesn’t know how and she’s kinda bad at it, she was afraid of starting something with Lucy (and messing it up) because Lucy’s the most amazing woman she’s ever met and she wanted to keep it on the downlow until she felt she could handle it, is actually very charming and sensitive and goofy underneath that hardened exterior

there’s a reason Ernie describes her as “the tall one acting goofy,” she tries to keep her relationship with Lucy a secret and yet you can see her softening as a result of it and being unable to hide their connection and pull to each other even at work. Jesse notices they’re making googly eyes at each other during the Pearl Harbor tour in 1x09 and remarks that “there’s a certain DIA officer i haven’t seen around your desk recently,” because she couldn’t fight the gravitational pull drawing her to Lucy’s desk everyday, literally the worst kept secret at the office you morons! In 1x12 she’s sprinting after Lucy practically shouting after her (loud enough for all of Pearl Harbor to hear) even when she’s asking if Lucy’s going to throw their relationship away that easily. Kate gets a pass with Jane because how can you pretend you don’t care about Lucy after she could’ve died on an UC mission and as for Kai, well, he has two eyes so he definitely noticed too

the Whistler in 1x01 would definitely not be going over to Tennant’s house after 1x14 and sharing a drink with her (might not have warned her about Glenn Smith either) and maybe she wouldn’t have tried comforting her when Jesse went missing in 1x15 (not because she wouldn’t have wanted to, but maybe it would have been harder without all the stuff that happened in between as a result of the Lucy romance) and that’s growth baby!

as for her acting ‘dumb’ and goofy, whistler’s greatest hits (paraphrased):

1x07: the entire opening scene right in front of Ernie's coffee, like ladies its barely 9 in the morning 

1x09: “i want to be intimate” “here???” 

1x11: "i like this" "the coffee? its fair trade." "so i think i win the dumbass award." "yes...no! NO!"

1x14: “creds... that’s what all the cool agents say :)”

1x17: “the source of the attack was some sort of pineapple” “like the fruit?” (also forgetting she never apologized to Lucy)

1x20: while looking like a beaten bloody piñata “I’m fine just some bruises...and some minor head trauma...” “i did not have Lucy surf quotes on my bingo card today” 

1x21: “about the power of love!” -silence- “...anyway i think that’ll help us get through to David” (we were all raving about this scene and how cute it was, but we don't want to acknowledge all the work it took to get here?)

The writers have been showing it all season, this is just who she is the more you get to know her, not liking it is different than ooc

Kate just sucks at talking and processing her emotions on the spot and can’t always immediately formulate a response right away whether you’re her boss or her colleague or her ex girlfriend (she ghosted a girl for months for god’s sakes which is probably honestly where most of the ‘this feels ooc for Kate’ criticism comes from and it’s hard to blame anyone for that because wth Kate, but it also serves as the biggest indictment of how her lack of social skills has effected her life and now it’s finally catching up to her)

a lot of people call Whistler rushing in without thought or backup to be ooc, and while they’ve shown that she’s smart and good at thinking things through (figuring out a way to help the team in 1x06, with the Clark Lohan thing in 1x10, using David's wife’s fate as leverage to get through to him in 1x21), that’s been behind the scenes we never saw her do field work during her stint at the DIA so there’s nothing really to base the ooc claim on, the first time we see her in the field is in 1x17 (she only transferred to the FBI 3 episodes ago) when she rushes in and Lucy has to stop her so it’s not out of the ordinary for her to do something similar in 1x20 at Agent Jones’s house, Whistler in the office and Whistler out in the field are different because they’re different environments entirely (and she’s new to the field)

i dont think the people calling Whistler ooc for acting goofy and socially inept would call her ooc for turning down a promotion anywhere from 1x06-1x13 to stay close to Lucy after early Whistler was billed as ambitious and career-driven (but i guess it’s different because it’s romantic without being awkward...), if we’re going to throw that term out there we should examine all her actions that way not just the one’s we maybe don’t like 

you can criticize the writing and the show all you want we all have different opinions we’re not all going to agree on how good Whistler’s development has gone, but i don’t think it’s fair to say any public grand gesture or Kate acting ‘dumb’ is completely out of left field, yes she was more cold and distant and mean earlier (and maybe you preferred that way more) but as the show has progressed you get to see a different more shy, uncertain, dorky side of her and that's not ooc that's just how humans are

she’s been slowly stepping out of her comfort zone all season and Lucy’s influence on her has inspired her to finally make a running jump into the deep end to win her back because she loves her and that’s how much she means to her (my favorite post about the grand gesture written before we knew it was a singing gesture LOL) that's the whole point isn't it? the power of love! has changed Whistler! she's never felt this way about anyone before and is clearly woefully inexperienced in love, she misses Lucy and wants to win her back no matter what so she's willing to listen to anything and do anything to show her she's all in and wants to be with her and only her! love makes us do crazy things, but it makes sense after a season of pain and regret

unfortunately for some people, Kate also happens to be less competent socially so that’s going to manifest in truly awkward (and secondhand embarrassing) ways, but she’s always been capable of this because she’s a multifaceted character and the writers have been showing us that

#ncis hawaii #kate whistler #kacy #all the criticism and thoughts ive seen on tumblr has been cool and fine but the twitter folks just make my head explode #its like every time kate shows a not Cool trait shes ooc? theres a reason everyone calls her the dumbest smart person (affectionate) #shes got one braincell for work! whenever she uses it for her personal life or for following ernies advice is laughs at her and explodes #imma be real this is kinda petty and ranty bc of one specific kate stan on twitter i keep seeing firhrgjrg #like i cant even enjoy their fics bc they start all of them with 'i wont do u dirty like the writers have' #like wym the writers have treated me fine i loved 1x20 i loved all the kacy angst lol #like yas and tori are great and theyre 50% of it but who wrote the lines they say that make me love lucy and kate more and more everyday #also i dont think its possible at all for a character to be ooc...in season 1 like the writers barely know them yet how can i claim i do #like ok you like the character but then you hate the writers for half the traits theyve given them so do you actually like them??? #this is all incoherent and im sorry #yes i still dislike the serenade but like i understand the point of the big gesture and why u would go there #get you a hot lesbian mess who can do both! #im delirious i probably shouldnt post this and ill regret it but i will anyway #like i saw someone ask what have they done to you whistler #oh idk given her a personality??? made her likeable and made the audience want to root for her? like yall LMAO

[reikunrei]

im always shocked and flattered when people say they think the things i say are smart or interesting. like. me? my dumb ass? for realsies? huh? wowie!

#'youre your own worst critic' or whatever i guess #and like. ive had plenty of teachers and profs tell me my essays are well written #i still remember one time i wrote one for a really cool art history class and we discussed our rough drafts one on one #and she was like 'you really dont need to change anything at all this is perfect' and i was like :0 #but still. like. me? guy who can't string his thoughts into coherent sentences? you think that i sound smart??? golly... #like. i dont get it but i'll take your word for it i guess! and continue to think im incoherent in the meantime! #i say things

[seaquestions]

not to keep going on abt this but i've been thinking abt this line for actual literal Years, um. in olivine city when silver says "Humph! Boo-hoo! Just let sick Pokémon go! A Pokémon that can't battle is worthless!" like. it's probably just him re-enacting the way the environment he grew up in treated pokemon. but i can't help read into it and wonder if he's been neglected while sick. cos like, as i see it, his general fixation on the strength and worth of his pokemon is an extension of himself very very desperately not wanting to be weak and helpless, as a kid who literally has to fend for himself right now. seen through this lens, the way he treats his pokemon is likely a reflection of how people have treated him. like. this is a child, the sheer callousness of it has to come from somewhere. this is something he heard, or god forbid something someone said to him. if he'd ever been cared for, i think there'd be something that doesn't compute, "why a sick person would be cared for but a sick pokemon isn't." but because he says this line, it tells me that nobody ever has.

#incoherent turtle noises #im having a time rn so you're all getting my Years-Delayed Blorbo Thoughts abt One line of dialogue. #edit: hi im still at it but anyway its interesting looking at blue's dialogue in rbgy vs silver's in gsc bcos blue's mean in like #a schoolyard bully kind of way. he's a kid who says mean kid things. in comparison to that silver comes across more like.. #a kid imitating adult cruelty. the Fixation on strength vs. weakness is revealing in that. you see the diff in the rivals motivations #blue wants 2b strong bcos it's cool and admirable. silver wants 2b strong bcos the alternative is that he's weak and worthless. it shows.

[bonojour]

i moved back to the netherlands last friday and i still really feel like someone is holding my throat closed and something heavy is sitting on my chest & i keep tearing up at the smallest things. it is only a temporary state as i am planning to permanently move to denmark in 2024 but holy shit the way my body is responding to being outside of it is shocking to me

#it feels like the covid period when denmark locked its borders and i felt the same feeling (but less) because i was unable to come in #i hate to be so in love with a country #especially one that is used by right wingers in NL as an example of how to deal with the migration issue #but there is something that just. makes me so Happy #but it scares me #because i put all my hope for my future in the hands of a country who is dedicated to making it More Difficult for me to even come in #and there are some things coming up on my path that are going to determine how easy my path will be #like the C1 level language test and getting accepted for a masters degree #But yeah anyway the thought of having to spend more than a year in the netherlands is absolutely crushing me #i wish i could be excited for the sake of my friends #but when one of my friends who i had not seen this year hugged me #i just felt.... deflated and empty #and i still do #although i am now on the flixbus to copenhagen and about 30km away<3 #but eh i might be a bit emotionally unstable the next period #because you can add on top of that that i have also been unable to Relax on my own for almost two months #so i am highly strung and emotionally just a sad wet rat thrown back into the sewers #text #sorry this is incoherent #and there are worse things in the world

[kyouka-supremacy]

But really it's about the

Atsushi saying “I love you” over and over and over again, taking every little chance he gets to say it, sometimes even blurting it out for no particular reason with a big bright smile on his face, because he's been unfairly denied love all his life and is now so happy he gets to receive it and give it back. And he's so full of love, so ready to give love, so ready to just love there won't be a day for the rest of his life where he doesn't tell Akutagawa he loves him.

vs

Akutagawa rarely managing to say it out loud. With him it's more about saying secret “I love you”s in the hidden little moments: when he's most certain Atsushi is sleeping and won't hear him, so he finally allows himself to whisper the words hoping his adoration will reach him somehow. When Atsushi would say something extremely kind, or extremely stupid, and overall just terribly Atsushi that have the words quietly escape Akutagawa's mouth before he can stop them, and that will leave Atsushi dumbfounded and so so happy despite Akutagawa resolutely denying to have said anything. When they're particularly vulnerable, or having an harsh ptsd episode: to console Atsushi, to let him know with three words that he's there for him no matter what the world may put against them and to remind him of how, despite everything, they found each other, and they loved each other. And again, Akutagawa saying it when he himself is hitting a low point because of all the past abuse, and feels the desperate need to be grounded back to reality and remember that he's there and he loves Atsushi and everything is going to be okay because they are together, he loves Atsushi, and Atsushi loves him back.

#Me at 02:46 am trying to sleep being hit by sskk thoughts: #OMG my two Tumblr followers who patiently put up with my incoherent sskk ravings NEED TO HEAR THIS #If you're one of my two Tumblr followers who patiently put up with my incoherent sskk ravings: ilu ❤️ #For the record Akutagawa will get better at saying it he just needs some time :') #Atsushi needs to get his I love yous too ahah #bsd #bungou stray dogs #atsushi nakajima #ryūnosuke akutagawa #sskk #bsd headcanons #mine #q. #Edit: Didn't have luck posting this yesterday so trying again today lmao #This is still from march btw #Edit 2: Someone reblogged this with the best addition ever go reblog that instead #shin soukoku

[sureuncertainty]

okay here are my thoughts on pj/hazel as a ship (from bottoms which i will probably be hyperfixating on for a bit sorry not sorry)

i guess I appreciate them as ship but i'm having a hard time getting quite on board with it just bc i'm really tired of the trope (idk if it's a trope but I see it frequently) of character A is a total asshole to character B consistently and then like... apologizes once (or not at all) and then B just forgives them immediately and it's fine. like idk i don't like ships where one character is mean to the other, it feels like there's an imbalance there. yeah pj apologized but i lowkey felt like hazel was too quick to forgive her and hazel deserves someone who doesn't make fun of her and is not mean to her 24/7 and who actually shows their appreciation of her and love for her and doesn't make her feel bad about herself, not just someone who enjoys kissing her yknow???

#like i ship them in theory i guess but only if pj like. gets way better about things #bc i love and relate to hazel way too much to ship her with anyone who does not SHOWER HER WITH THE LOVE AND APPRECIATION SHE DESERVES #as someone who has had many ex friends in the past who have been dicks to me and tried to laugh it off to the point where #i felt like i just deserved it... no honey you deserve better #anyway this is incoherent sorry we're also a little blurry but those are just my thoughts #anyway loved the movie tho my only real complaint about it was the total lack of trans people #win rambles #not putting this in the tag tho bc it's just my own thoughts for any of my followers who saw the movie and care to read #or if you didnt' and just wanna know bc this IS a thing with other ships too #jonmartin comes to mind #which i love those two bc they developed well but in season one i was horrified that they were the main ship #bc of what a shithead jon was to martin consistently #in that case tho he grew and changed which was good but it still didn't sit well with me for a bit tbh #i just don't like it it makes me think of people who have been shitty to me in the past and made me feel like thats what i deserve #and people shouldn't settle for people who don't make them feel loved and supported and appreciated yknow

[aberooski]

Okay I have enough fics and shit to write right now as it is, I currently have 4 in the works 🙃, but last night while I was trying to sleep I had a thought. I think I came up with a very baseline very bare bones idea for a possible OUAD 2.

A possible title for which I came up with was Once Upon A Kingdom OUAK if you will. And literally as I typed this out, Once Upon A Winter OUAW akskskskk and it would take place months after the events of OUAD, Chazz and Atticus are officially a couple now, and Atty takes him on a trip to see the Northern Kingdom or the Crystal Kingdom if ur in with the OUAD deep lore 👀 where he and Lexi are from and with Jay, Sy, and Hassleberry in tow, winter wonderland hijinks and capers ensue 👀

Now I have no idea what the actual greater plot would be but I really like the idea of visiting another kingdom since in the 'deep lore' there are 5 kingdoms that exist in the world, but since the Kingdom of the East was canonically destroyed by Slade and Jagger before the events of OUAD, there's still 3 other kingdoms outside the Golden Kingdom. The northern, western, and southern kingdoms if you will. The Golden Kingdom is the central kingdom. So we get to see more of the world, and open the door for more of the ensemble cast to get involved, I fully intend to include Jesse and Bastion at the very minimum if I wrote this I fully imagined a whole conversation with Jaden and Jesse last night, immortal magical fairy Jay gets to flirt with the cute human boy 👀 so I have thoughts happening ☺

Like I said I have no idea what an actual greater plot would look like yet and I have way too much to work on right now to put too much thought into it right now, but I promise babes. OUAD 2 may be on the back burner right now, but it is also very firmly on the table 😉

#why must all my best ideas come when I'm about to fall asleep like you couldn’t have given me more than that brain??? #no but fr I have so much to work on but I'm actively in the early staged of planning here #obviously Crowler will be in there somewhere too I'm not about to exclude my favorite dad 😤 but i dunno what's going on in it at all yet #maybe we'll even see more fairy society shit too cuz I love thinkin about it and I mean Hassleberry did kill Jagger with mega ancient magic #that he's supposed to be too weak magically to be able to do and the other fairies are canonically kinda mean to him for that #and because of his whole animal side thing that he was just born with in OUAD which yknow isn't normal even for magical beings #so when they find out he did that I mean that's gonna shake things up in their society man #plus I did establish that Zane canonically exists in OUAD because he's briefly mentioned in chapter 11 #and K think it's fucking hilarious that he of all people is a fairy 😂 but Sy is so he kinda has to be lol #I already have so many thoughts but they're incoherent and make no sense still so we'll see what happens when things start coming together #but that'll be a while still. I probably won't really mess with it at least until after Chazzerella #because that one honestly shouldn't be all that long once I get started actually writing it. not a lot happens in that movie akskks #but for now I'll leave y'all with this mess I guess akskks whoops 😅 #abby's just rambling don't mind her #abby fully admits she's an idiot #Once Upon A Duelist #yugioh gx #yugioh gx fanfiction #chazz princeton #atticus rhodes #stormshipping #syrus truesdale #jaden yuki #tyranno hassleberry #alexis rhodes

[141d]

me holding gaz in my hands. you are so important to me.

#im currently girlbossing my way through a terrible week at work #but its friday tomorrow thank GOD #im going to my brother's in the evening so i wont be here but on saturday its on SIGHT #but know that im rotating gaz in my brain and I just appreciate this character so SO much #the way he's the players pov but is still so tangible as a character in his own right #he isnt just some void for the player to project themselves into the story he's got characteristics and strengths and weaknesses #you get to see him realize and come to terms with what doing this kind of work really means #and he comes out the other end certain that this is where he's supposed to be and he's ready to commit to it #idk there's something about a character with convictions that just make my brain go BRRRRRRR #in the best of ways #this is incoherent but im booting up rdo rn so you're getting my stream of thought while the launcher loads #anyway i love mr kyle garrick #have a lovely evening i will be here on saturday <3 #DEL.