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sonderlivra · 29 days

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First of all, loveee your bytham fics! Wondering what your opinions on the merge between loki and basim are. Do you think Basim is evil? You write him so soft, but it never toes the line of ooc!

First of all anon thank you for the ask! <3 I'm glad you like my lil fics I'm trying my best :)

Second of all you brought up a particular subject I love to rant/ramble about so buckle up lmao.

More under the cut. WARNING SPOILER ALERT for: AC Odyssey, AC Valhalla, AC Mirage, AC: The Golden City.

All images have alt-text :)

My opinions about the merge are varied and long, so I'll start off by answering your question first.

Do I think Basim is evil? No. Absolutely not.

This is because I really don't think it's ever as simple as someone being 'good' or 'evil'. You could say I'm getting too pedantic about it, but from the very first game in the Assassin's Creed the idea that nothing is ever just black or white has been stressed upon constantly.

For this reason I believe Basim is a fantastic character to focus on in this series. He is the poster child of 'morally grey'.

So yeah, I've seen Basim (or Loki) being called a villain but I don't think that's true. I think he's an antihero.

But before I get to that, let's talk about the merge. I've seen the merge being described as something unfortunate, something that ripped away Basim's own personality and changed him into something he wasn't. I genuinely believe that that is not true.

Basim is who he has always been.

The thing to remember is that Loki has always been a part of him. He manifested himself as Nehal in Basim's early childhood, because young Basim was getting traumatised by nightly terrors. What he thought were visions of Djinn was, in his words, “a crippling memory from a past life”. The Djinn was Loki's nightmare, and poor little boy Basim was reliving it every single night.

Enter Nehal.

From little asides in the game, from their own conversations, it is clear Basim and Nehal had a very close bond. She banters with him, teases him, scolds him, fights with him. In the House of Wisdom, Basim tells us he used to sneak in there as a child with his best friend, and they spent many nights reading together (this is one of my favourite things about his childhood <3). Nehal has a distinct personality of her own, with her own interests, her own perspectives, her own opinions that she offers to Basim constantly. None of it is ever forced on him, he rejects her opinions and her advice many times over the course of the game. And while she (often vocally) disagrees, she respects his choices.

Then the events of Mirage happen. Basim discovers the 'truth' about Nehal, that she's not real, that she's just a part of him. Just waiting for him to accept her.

I want to take a step to the side and bring up Eivor's potential-merge moment from AC Valhalla. Because the difference between that moment and Basim’s is astounding. Throughout the game, Odin is there as an intermittent voice in the back of her head, posing questions on her moralities and her choices specifically when she kills someone with power, whose death would have major consequences. He isn't there to give her companionship or even friendship, his appearances to her look like a political advisor offering his opinions in statecraft to a leader. (Fwiw, I have not yet taken his advice once in my Valhalla gameplay lmao).

Odin: You have earned your place here, Eivor. Seize it! Eivor: Stand aside! My people need me! Odin: I have given you everything you wanted. Everything you needed! Eivor: You gave me nothing! It was all me! Odin: Yet I cleared your path. I guided your axe! Eivor: You were a fly, buzzing in my ear! Odin: How dare you deny me! Everything you believe in stirs before you! Yet you question all! You question the very gods!

And later:

Eivor: Your corpse hall is nothing but a dream! Odin: Nothing but a dream? A dream is as real as anything in this world! Do dreams not inspire? Do dreams not make us fearful? Do they not push men to their greatest glories! Eivor: Then I am done with dreaming! Odin: Stand and face me, you feeble-armed thrall!Leave me now and you are nothing! With me you have wisdom! Glory! Power! What more do you need! Eivor: Everything else.

Compare it to Nehal and Basim’s:

Basim: It is done. Nehal: No, Basim. It is only the beginning. For us. For what lies ahead. A deeper understanding of the world we left behind. And our place in it. Basim: All my life I wrestled with who I was. Who I was meant to be. And there you were. All this time. The side of me I resisted. A reflection of who we once were. Nehal: Of who we shall be once more. There is so much that awaits us. A new world. Let me show you. Basim (shakily): I will never see you again, will I? Nehal: (shakes head) Basim: Will I be… alone? Nehal: You are never alone.

So there it is. Odin tries to make Eivor choose him. He tries to bend her will, tries to trap her, to tempt her and goad her into accepting him.

Loki/Nehal does none of those things to Basim. Instead, he/she offers Basim companionship. A complete understanding of his self. Purpose and surety in his life. Something that Basim has been lacking, has been desperate to find his entire life.

Basim is scared, sure. Who wouldn't be? But he asks if he will ever be alone. And Nehal tells him, never. He will never be alone.

Because, and now we come to Loki, he won't be.

Let's talk about Loki. Is he evil? And you know what anon, I have to give you a resounding no for that too.

Loki is, let's face it, a bit of a pathetic asshat. He gripes, he connives, he grumbles and makes annoying faces behind Odin's back. But he's not evil. He just, idk, really loves his gf and his kids man.

From one of my many conversations with @project-zorthania on discord:

Odin (who is also an asshat lbr) condescends to Loki. None of the Aesirs treat Loki with any trust or respect. Now I'm not saying Loki was completely innocent. I'm not sure how much of the original Norse mythology is supposed to be canonical in this series, and by all accounts Loki is a hell of a troublemaker. But at the core of it all is the fact that the Aesir have never trusted him because he's half-Jotunn. He's always been the outsider.

Loki's wife Sigyn is mentioned once (and not by name) in this series, so the central point of his motivations is his mythologically canonical girlfriend, Angrboda. Aka Aletheia.

(Side note I adore Aletheia. Every time I saw her in Odyssey I lit up like a light bulb. She's so badass. Dikastes of Atlantis who was instrumental in getting Juno banished for human experiments, a human-sympathising Isu who was also a hacker. And now she's also a mother of three. Hot damn.)

Loki is already unhappy with the Aesir. The one truly joyful facet of his life is his lover and their children. He loves his kids, wants to keep them safe and spend more time with them. He tries to sneak his son into Asgard to keep him close. Odin discovers the son and imprisons him.

The interesting thing about Asgard (and Elysium/the Underworld/Atlantis in Odyssey) is that we don't truly know what they looked like. All these mythical places are seen through the lens of the protagonists, our player characters. Sure, there's some Isu-ness in the architecture, the dialogues, the 'devices'. But on the whole, Atlantis still has ancient Greek architecture, the people still wear chitons and sandals because that is what Kassandra expects to see. Similarly, Asgard is just a more grand, magical version of what a Norse city would look like.

I am stressing all this because we know that that's not actually the case. The Isu were an advanced civilisation, sure, but they weren't actually gods. The Nornir were confirmed to be compilers of a great calculating software. Yggdrasil was a simulation chamber. Thor's hammer was probably an advanced weapon with, idk, sci-fi electric laser stuff going on.

Loki's son was probably not a giant wolf.

I would like you to picture a young boy being snuck into a new strange place by his father. Imagine him being locked up instead. Imagine a teenage boy breaking his chains and trying to run. Imagine Odin beating that boy bloody and chaining him again, all because a probability machine told him that the boy would be the cause of his (eventual, inevitable) death.

That is what happened to Fenrir. Is it so hard to imagine Loki's rage? How he lost what little respect and faith he had in the Aesir?

Here’s some notes found in Urdr’s Well in Asgard, clearly written by Loki to Fenrir. The first is from my own gameplay taken a week ago, the second is from Zorthania’s stream from last year:

Here's a snippet of conversation between Loki and Angrboda (from one of the Animus Anomalies):

Lastly, here is a picture of a Literal Baby 🥺:

I could go on about this for hours, man. There’s so many more notes and hints and conversations that paint a picture of a flawed (Isu) man just trying to look out for his family.

When Loki merges with Basim, he is driven by two things: vengeance, and the need to bring his family back together. He needs to accomplish these goals no matter who or what stands in his way. But he’s more than just Loki now. He is Basim, and Basim has more than just these goals. If there’s a greater cause that’s not in the way of his own personal ones, then he’ll gladly and enthusiastically work for it.

And that brings me back to my final point. Basim is not a hero, he is not a villain. He is an antihero. This is from the Wikipedia article for antihero:

Post-merge, Basim continues to do his work as a Hidden One. He does so well, in fact, that despite whatever qualms Rayhan must have had about him (making Hytham spy on him even lol), Basim is made the bureau leader for Constantinople. Sure, his personal agenda is very much active. But at the same time, he fights the Order of the Ancients on behalf of the Hidden Ones. He ensures their strong presence in Constantinople by the end of TGC. He recognises that Kjotve is a major problem because he’s a high-ranking member of the Order.

During Valhalla, you see him ensure that Hytham’s place in Ravensthorpe is secure, that their shared mission of re-establishing the Hidden Ones in England is successful. You see hints and implications of Basim finding more resources and information that could be important for the Hidden Ones and forwarding them to Hytham. He’s still a Hidden One. He’ll always be one.

From the ending of AC Valhalla:

William Miles: So what next? Where will Basim go? Basim: As far as I can, William. William Miles: I feared as much. Basim: Do not. I cherish the Creed that guides us. I always have.

I do not think Loki and Basim are two different beings at this point. After the merge, Basim is just Basim, just an “Enhanced” version. Basim always refers to himself as himself, even when he could be talking about Loki. He speaks of Fenrir as if he was his own son. And yet he never claims the name Loki for himself. I’ve always thought that was so fascinating. It implies a true and complete merge of the two personalities, and yet, Basim was not the one consumed in that merge. Loki is accepted, but Basim continues to be the dominating identity.

Basim is who he has always been in both Valhalla and Mirage, and no, that doesn’t mean he was always evil. It means he never was just ‘the bad guy’ and that he was and continues to be a flawed, selfish, kind, helpful, dangerous, charismatic, complex man.

Thank you for the ask and sorry for the HUGE ramble lol! <3 you are so brave if you managed to read the whole thing <3

#basim ibn ishaq #ac valhalla #ac mirage #assassins creed valhalla #assassins creed mirage #spoliers #asks #mine #let me know if you think this needs any more tags lol <3

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ndas-sraom · 7 months

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Mirage, what's in a title. Here's some thoughts. Spoilers follow.

I haven't followed AC since Revelations but the introduction of Basim and Hytham in Valhalla interested me. I watched the cutscenes on YouTube and really enjoyed the character of Basim. I was happy to see Mirage announced soon after.

First off, the characters. The whole cast is fantastic, Basim and Roshan are obviously the standouts here. Their dynamic is a pure delight. Basim being the idealistic young man and Roshan being the tempered, disciplined older woman. To see the street thief with a heart of gold come into his own and find a wider purpose is a story old as time but beautifully done here. And to see Roshan with her cold as steel exterior soften around Basim at moments was touching. She is a battle hardened warrior but took Basim under her wing as her personal charge, and I hope in her upcoming book we get to see what drew her to Basim to take him as her apprentice when she knew how troubled he was.

The story. After watching the digest version of Valhalla I feel that I had a pretty decent understanding of who Basim is going into Mirage, but it turns out I knew nothing at all. Basim is idealistic to a fault, the perfect Hidden One, believing in the right to choose your own destiny. He loves his friends. He always tries to do what he believes is right. And all of these things play into this tragic, almost cruel irony as he finds out that his destiny is not his own, that his closest friend never existed, and he was deceived into being a pawn. I've compared it to the story of Anakin Skywalker, where the young man enters a new world with great ambition and the best intentions, and it ultimately leads them to a fate worse than death.

The last hour of the game is honestly devastating. To see Basim's fall in real time was hard to witness. To watch him betray his only real friends, his creed, to follow a shadow and a false promise, playing right into the hands of his sworn enemies... you wish you could do something to stop it. The final battle with Roshan is heartbreaking, you can hear the emotional strain in both of their voices as they refuse to give way to one another. When Roshan is defeated she opens her heart and shows how much she actually cares for Basim, begging him to leave the temptation of being "more than a man" and come back to his family as an equal. When he merges with Nehal I don't think he exists anymore as the character we came to know and love. What sealed it for me was the final scene with Enkidu where Basim earns the scar on his face. He ceases to be Basim and becomes the reincarnation of an Isu, where even his trusted companion for years is hostile towards him. He expresses a couple of times in the game how he is afraid of ending up alone, and he is utterly alone in the end.

Would love to discuss the game with any fellow fans, so many swirling feelings that haven't settled even days after finishing the walk-through. That's good media.

#ac mirage #assassin's creed #basim ibn ishaq #roshan #roshan bint la'ahad #basim

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ifyouhappentoremember · 1 year

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Quick Thoughts - The Phantom of the Opera - April 15, 2023 (Evening)

The main trio was Laird Macintosh, Emilie Kouatchou and John Riddle

It’s hard to find a word that accurately conveys the feeling in that theater. It was a mix of love, joy, enthusiasm, sorrow, and grief.

The cast seemed sharper somehow? So many extra little details.

I KNOW, every write up I do, I always go on about how much I love Nehal Joshi’s Andre but the man always delivers.

John Riddle’s Raoul seemed more boyish and charming than my recollection? He had such good chemistry with Emilie.

Raquel cracked on the opening Hannibal cadenza and just immediately redid it. Such a Carlotta move.

She was also somehow funnier and sharper than her baseline? That slow head turn after the line ‘These things do happen!’ was so hysterical.

Despite the numerous times I have seen Phantom, I’ve never seen Emilie opposite a Phantom that wasn’t Ben Crawford. It was very interesting to see Laird and Emilie play off each other.

The main thing I remember from the first lair is how Laird’s phantom threw his fedora into the wings like it was a frisbee.

Oh also just how much despair and shock Laird’s Phantom felt at the first unmasking.

Nehal Joshi somehow makes the speech before the Il Muto ballet funnier every time. This time he tripped over himself in his haste to get down stage. I think what makes this so funny is that as the scene goes on he just gets more and more disheveled.

Emilie’s Wishing was absolutely incredible. It practically stopped the show.

I swear, during the second unmasking, Emilie was going in for a kiss.

The Final Lair was something else.

It was just... so good.

Laird broke the kiss and the look of joy and wonderment on his face afterwards. His right hand was blocking the lower half of his face but I swear that man was smiling.

THE CANDLE WORKED!!!!

OKAY, so the ring return - EMILIE SAID I LOVE YOU BACK

But it was so quiet, it was almost as if we all imagined it, so it made Laird’s second ‘I love you’ so heartbreaking.

Yes, Laird looked out at the audience again in this performance when he was about to cover himself with the cloak. It’s (most likely) the last time for him as it is for us.

#I'm very overwhelmed right now so this is a bit more scattered than usual #as always if anyone wants further details just let me know what I should expand on #quick thoughts #poto broadway

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currently-evil · 5 months

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Look into Rowan's Sidestep conversation

(Quick disclaimer, these are conversation's of my own Sidestep not generic Sidestep, mob boss, poly Ortega and Steel)

Ortega

Get well soon Ortega

When you have enough of Ortega's bs

When you fail to insult your bf

Birthday Boy - p. 1

Love confession - p.1

Kissing

How is therapy going?

How is therapy going? - p. 2

Hollow Ground

Hollow Ground - p. 2

Can I rizz you up?

Just Sidestep instability

Will Ratking ever get friends?

Random Chargestep conversations

Chen

I got your package

Could you resist?

Goodnight

Flirting is hard

Chen & Ortega & Rowan

I would die for both of you

Polycule Breaking Material

Oh, that dimple

Favourite Boyfriend

Polyamory is god send

Argent

There is no ignoring Lady Argent

You should better protect your online data

Friends be like

Food Revenge

That's not a good excuse

Herald

Why is he texting like this

Mob Boss' Crew

Nehal - Sugar Daddy

Pelayo - Worst Nurse in the whole Wild West

Nehal - A bad deal

Pelayo - Dog in the office

Nehal - Dog in the office - p.2

Zaza - But what if we do..?

Ward - Integration Party

#Fallen hero #fallen hero ortega #chargestep #steelstep #marshal steel #ricardo ortega #fallen hero rebirth #this post is empty now but i will add more as i post #also i am super proud of the header!#i did it all by myself! it looks so good!#rowan rowan

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ohlookitsthearkhamknight · 4 months

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AC Mirage ramblings and big emotion™️ because im tipsy

Do you ever think that every once in a while Basim will hear Nehals laugh or catch a glimpse of her in the corner of his eye? Do you ever think he smiles to himself but doesn’t chase for another glimpse and doesn’t try to listen harder because he knows he will find nothing? Do you think how after a bad nightmare he can feel her gently waking him up only to wake up to an empty promise and an empty bed that has always and will always be empty? Do you think some nights he replays that night in his head over and over trying to believe that she is always there never leaving him alone only to realize he was alone the entire time? Do you think that what remains of basim that isnt Loki craves the companionship that never existed? Do you think that sometimes he mourns for someone he has never met? Do you think that he grieves the real people in his life especially the children that he blames himself for their deaths? Do you think it destroys him when in the end it was him. It was always him. He is alone. And always has been. Because all it was,

Was a Mirage.

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thou-babbling-brook · 5 months

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In an art mood with a few ideas, so if you guys could give some feedback that’d be so slay! Or if there’s anything you guys really want to see, my inbox is always open!

#assassin’s creed #ac1 #ac2 #ac3 #ac mirage #babblingbrook babbles #kind of curious what you guys would like!#im feeling modern au or Mirage stuff myself #I actually drew modern au stuff of Nehal and Basim today so #but yeah just give me your thoughts!#i wanna hear from you guys :))

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aro-ortega · 1 year

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once again thinking of an au where vanya starts a band instead of becoming a villain

#i love you music #< 3 #heartbreak & the boys ? the crew ?#might add this to my art list but also ive drawn a band au for homestuck before and it is. a lot #but also ! i have 0 idea what bo/pelayo/ward/nehal/zaza look like and dont particularly want to draw them #so maybe i would just draw vanya as the frontman #op

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basimbigtits · 5 months

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basim ibn Ishaq x virgin fem reader

tw ?): nsfw .(tell me if I missed any)

You and Basim sat on the cliff in Alamut looking at the rest of the assassins from above ,the sunset was beautiful ,birds going back to their nest to turn in for the night , Basim was looking at the sunset thinking out loud “there’s something inside the is calling me in .i don’t what it is but I must know “ Basim said then he looked at u to see your reaction , u stood up looking angry “ absolutely not Basim! people who enter never come back ! I won’t lose you to some voice in ur head !” Basim stood up looking straight into ur eyes “Nehal said-“ “ WHO IS NEHAL BASIM THERE IS NO NEHAL AROUND ” You looked at Basim angry , he keeps talking about entering the temple over and over again but you always tell him no because you know who he will never come back , not as a dead body but as a different person .if he enters and know his own identity. You will lose your lover .” I’m tired of hearing about her and never see her” you said and turned your head . Both of you Sitting back down .

“ well- wait are you jealous.?” He said smirking “ I’m not ! And who would get jealous for you? Ew” YOU ARE , you loved basim since the day he became an assassin. Tho you’re not an assassin but a healer for them. Whenever they are injured your there for them. That’s what got you to love basim, a day never passes without him getting injured and coming to you. You and other assassins joke about him hurting himself just to see you “ I don’t know… maybe someone named (y/n)?” He said and was getting closer to you “ you know (y/n) ….sometimes I see how you look at me .and when I look back at you my heart goes crazy for you “ he took your hand into his. You looked at him, trying to see if he’s joking around. “Thought I’d never hear you say this” you said as your faces got closer until your lips touched. Both of you started to kiss passionately, your arms wrapped around his neck while his right is holding your face and the other is on your waist . as the kiss got heated , you started to remove each other’s clothes, basim clothes were annoying cuz they were layers of fabric . But yours were easy to get rid of , all he had to do was pull your dress up .

after getting his clothes off , he started to kiss and suck on your neck. Then he pulled,” are you sure about this ? Or do you want us to stop? “ he said “ don’t stop my love” you said while pulling him closer to you , his hand went to your chest , touching and pulling on your nibbles . You moaned loud ,and that made his cock throb, he can’t take it anymore he needs to be inside you ,inside that warm and tight virgin cunt “ I can’t hold it much longer… I need you” he said lining his throbbing cock to your entrance. “wait!… be gentle please I’m … a virgin “ you said , a little embarrassed “ don’t worry my dear. I will be gentle and there’s nothing to be. Embarrassed about.” He started to push himself in . ‘Oh god. She’s tight ‘ he thought to himself, he can’t hold back ! You’re so tight and your pussy is warm!. “ahh basim please.. ha. I need you so bad.” You said moaning as you run your hands through his hair. His soft and beautiful hair. He pushed until he’s all in. , filling you up with his cock . He started to move in and out slowly so you can get used to him , even tho he want to bully your tight hole and fill it up with his cum, make you his and have children with you. He can’t stop thinking about you carrying his child .that got him to start thrusting.”ohh your so tight. I think I can’t hold back .forgive if I hurt you “ after he sa Your eyes got wide as he started thrust faster, your moaning isn’t helping too, it keeps driving him crazy.

your bodies were hot .sweat rolling down ,foreheads touching, panting sound can be heard .basim thrusts were fast ,his cock going in and out in a hard and fast way but you enjoyed the feeling. His cock reaches places where it drives you crazy .”you like that ya rouhi? (My soul) do you want me to fill you up until your pregnant?” Basim said looking into your eyes . “ah… yes yes! keep going my love, i want to have your baby ” Your moans makes him thrust faster . It’s like music to his ears , he put his hand on your mouth to quit your moans so no one else can hear you moan for him. He’s a jealous guy after all. Feeling like he’s closer to your finish he started to suck on your neck , leaving some marks behind to mark your his only . “Ohhh yes baby right here… I’m about to cummm..” at this point your a mess . Panting, sweating and horny for him, “ i am too… cum with me my love . Let go” after few hard thrusts you both came .

“Ha… are you fine my love?” He said looking at you . Seeing if your hurt “I am fine …. That was crazy . I’ve never done this before.” You both broke out laughing . Looking at each other , basin put his hand on your lower belly.” I can’t wait to start a family with you love .” He kissed your cheek and got his scarf on you.”I love you” you smiled at him” and I love you “ you said and kissed his lips one more time “ let’s rest now my love , we have a long day tomorrow “ you said , standing up to dress you self , leaving basim behind. The voice inside his head is no longer there and the thought of entering the temple is no longer there. Guess it all needed a pussy to make him forget. He chuckled and started to dress up. Laying down beside you, he kissed your head and pulled you to him . Both falling asleep in each other’s arms.

___

lolll that took me long 😭😭anyway guys tell me if you like it and if you want more

#basim ibn ishaq x reader #basim ibn ishaq #assassins creed Mirage

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jennyfair7 · 1 year

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Audio Gift - POTO Broadway - March 8, 2023 (evening)

Phantom of the Opera Broadway - March 8, 2023 (evening) Ben Crawford, Elizabeth Welch (u/s, final), Paul A Schaefer, Raquel Squarez Groen, Nehal Joshi, Craig Bennet, Maree Johnson, Sarah Esty, Carlton Moe

My master. Fully tracked. Elizabeth’s last scheduled performance as Christine. Share freely but don’t repost on other platforms. If you list this for trading, please mark as a gift and regift upon request!

Notes about Elizabeth’s performance below the cut...

When Ben appeared, Elizabeth touched a hand to the mirror before turning around to face the audience

After the portcullis encounter in MOTN, she held a hand to her ribs and was smiling/a bit breathless

She put her right hand on Ben’s left hand for the MOTN pose

During “touch me, trust me” Elizabeth kept her hand on the mask and seemed super into it versus being surprised

On the rooftop during “but his voice” she seemed to remember it fondly or at least wistfully, so much so that even Paul seemed suspicious

Her dancing was very crisp in masquerade and she looked absolutely stunning in the star princess dress

During Wandering Child, Elizabeth had the same wistful/engaged expression for “what endless longings” as she did for “but his voice”

After the first kiss in the final lair, Ben made a sad little expression and leaned his face into her hair. For the second kiss, Elizabeth put both of her hands on either side of his head/face and Ben wrenched himself away at the end

Elizabeth mouthed “I love you” to the crowd during curtain calls ❤️

#poto #poto broadway #poto audio #audio gift #mine #i had seriously lost all hope of ever seeing elizabeth #so this was super special for me #she was everything i had hoped for and more

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a-simp-named-slickback · 4 months

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Star-Crossed | Basim x OC | Chapter 5

The jinni's continues to torture Basim, and so are his feelings for Nashira.

TW: mental health issues. I wanted to try portray what I thought Basim’s visions would look like from a different person’s perspective.

The stars twinkled in the night sky over Anbar. At this time of night, most people had retreated into their homes, gathering around a fire and a meal with their loved ones. The smells of spices wafted through the air and took to the rooftops, where Basim and Nashira sat together.

Between them they shared a bowl of tebit, a canister of water, and of course, a pouch full of sweet juicy dates as they gazed at the stars together.

Over the course of a few months, they’d find time to share a meal and talk, much like how they’d do as youths. Though instead of studying, they spent their time talking about life. Asking and answering questions they had never considered as teenagers.

Tonight, Basim’s mind wandered away from conversation. He yawned, not having gotten much sleep in the nights before. The jinni continued its torment, both in sleep and in his waking moments. What was worse, he still had little answers for it.

Every now and again Nehal presented him with some strange tome or symbol that reminded them of the artifact they found at the Caliph’s Winter palace. Each of these strangely familiar findings left Basim with more questions than answers, and the jinni’s torment continued to take its toll every time.

He wasn’t sure how much longer he could deal with this. He needed answers soon.

“Basim?”

Hearing Nashira say his name brought him out of his thoughts.

She furrowed her brows, “Is everything alright with you?”

He nodded, “Everything’s fine.” He answered.

She placed a hand on his shoulder, “If there is something wrong, you can tell me. I’m right here.”

His eyes softened. For a moment, he contemplated telling her about the jinni, how it kept him up at night, how it haunted him in his dreams and his waking hours, and how it had done this for the majority of his life. How could he explain such a thing to her? Nashira was a woman of science, she didn’t believe in the supernatural. She’d probably write him off as crazy and have him admitted to the Bimaristan if she could.

He waved her off, “I’m fine, really,” He said, “I was just thinking.”

“About?” She pressed, giving him all her attention.

He chuckled, “I was thinking about something you had asked me before, about whether the stars controlled our fates. I realized, I never heard your answer for it.”

Nashira blinked, “You’re right,” She tapped her chin, “I suppose never did answer the question now that I think about it.”

She thought for a moment, “I think perhaps I misunderstood my father’s point of view on the subject.”

Basim tilted his head, “Explain?”

“When he said the stars controlled our fate, I assumed he meant we didn’t have free will to make our own choices in life. Naturally, I disagreed with that notion. Whether or not our actions have the intended consequences, we made those choices. Not every choice is equal, sometimes the consequences are minor, some major, but regardless we have the choice to go down a certain path or another. A parent can tell a child not to eat sweets before dinner. The child ultimately makes the decision to listen to the parent and not get what they want, or disobey them to get what they want at the expense of being punished. The parent can not control what that child does, only the child can do that for themselves.”

Basim listened intently to her as she spoke. She was making a good point.

“However, there are things that happen outside of our control,” She continued, “A natural disaster, a corrupt government, illness, death, and our paths become altered by these events. Our choices are limited to what is available to us from that point onward, though the choices presented may not be the ones we desire to have. Those events limit our free will, and it doesn’t stop there! You could be a child born to cruel parents, a person born into a poor family-”

She paused for a moment. “Or a young woman forced to marry when she does not want to…We may have the free will to choose how we act, but fate is often the determinant of the circumstances in which we make our choices. I think that is what he meant.”

Basim nodded, “I think that is quite insightful.”

She shrugged him off, “I’ve had a lot of time to think it over.”

They sat in silence as a question gnawed at Basim’s mind. Something he had wondered in his youth. Something he felt with unshakable conviction.

“Do you think certain things are meant to be?” He asked, “Like, are some things inevitable? Bound to happen regardless of circumstances?”

She raised a brow, “How do you mean?”

He leaned back on his hands, “I’m sure I was always bound to join the Hidden One’s. I was so eager to join them as a boy, that I don’t think anything could have stopped me. Or you. You’ve always been smart, and your father was a brilliant scholar. You were always meant to be an astronomer.”

Nashira hummed, “There’s a possibility but I don’t think anything is as simple as meant to be, Basim. At least, not as simple as you make it sound.”

“Oh?” He asked, “Care to argue your point?” He had a glint of mischief in his eyes, enjoying their debates.

A corner of Nashira’s mouth turned up, “Who are we to decide what is and isn’t meant to be? We aren’t omniscient beings, our viewpoint is limited to our own lives.”

“Didn’t you just say we have free will to make our own choices?” He smirked, thinking he got her.

“I also said some things are out of our control,” She held up a finger to his face, unable to stop herself from grinning as well, “Case in point, how we-”

Nashira’s grin faded suddenly.

Basim raised an eyebrow, “What is it?” he pressed, “Don’t hold your tongue, Nashira, I want to know what you think.”

“You’ll think it’s stupid.” She protested.

“If you are stupid, then I am completely hopeless,” He laughed, “Just tell me.”

“Are you sure?” She asked, still sounding unsure, “You won’t get upset?”

“I promise,” He said, waiting for her to continue.

Nashira sighed out a breath and took a moment before speaking again, “...There’s us, for example. You told me once you thought we were meant to be. Regardless if you or I believed it, that does not make it true."

Basim, taken aback at her moment of vulnerability and honesty, sat with that notion for a bit. Their once lively debate turned quiet as they sat under the stars. It was then that the feelings he kept at bay for months came bubbling to the surface. There they were, on a rooftop in Anbar, looking at the night sky together. Almost identical to the night they shared their first kiss together.

He looked at her, “I meant that, back then.” He said, holding her gaze.

His sincerity warmed her heart, “And I believed you. But if we were meant to be, well, we’d be together now.”

Basim nodded, “We are here now. That has to mean something, right?” He felt himself grow bolder as he went on, feeling himself drawn to her.

Nashira let out a shaky breath, still holding Basim’s gaze, not noticing how close they were getting to each other, “We are.” She whispered, her breath ghosting his lips that were only inches away from hers.

Slowly, hesitantly, they leaned into one another until their lips pressed in a shy kiss. The first one only lasted a few seconds, but the next one and the ones after that increased in vigor. They're hands started out locked at their sides until Basim snaked one to caress her jaw, and Nashira crept hers to the base of his neck. Their movements knocked off their respective head coverings, baring themselves to each other and the stars above.

Soon, the need for air became too much for them to ignore and they pulled away. Resting their foreheads on each other, satisfying their need to remain close to one another as they caught their breaths.

Nashira let out a shaky breath, “We can’t do this, Basim.”

Basim breathed out of his nose, “We can’t or we shouldn’t?” Those were very different things after all.

An ache grew in Nashira’s chest, “Omar will return soon.” She whispered.

“And I will go back to Alamut when my work here is done.” He sighed.

They pulled away from each other, adjusting their hood and head scarf. He should have known better; it seems, like always, Nashira was right again. He was a fool to think he could leave his feelings in the past while still maintaining a relationship with her. He was even more of a fool to think fate was on their side.

After a long silence, Basim stood up, “I should go.”

The sniffle he made almost went unnoticed by Nashira. If there were tears in his eyes, she wouldn’t know. His hood obscured any emotion he might have felt in that moment.

Her eyes blinked back tears, “Please,” She whispered, “Stay.”

He shook his head. He wanted to stay. He wanted to so badly. He knew if he did, he wouldn’t have the resolve to leave before they both did something unforgivable. Who knows what the outcome of that would be? His oath to the Hidden Ones was absolute, he’d have to uphold it. If they needed him to leave Baghdad, he’d have to do it, leaving Nashira to suffer the fallout of their actions.

He swallowed hard, “Good bye Nashira.” He said, not facing her.

Without another word, he was gone.

____________________________________________________________

Weeks later

It was dark again.

And cold.

Basim had been here before, too many times before.

The jinni used to haunt him in his sleep only, but lately…

Over these last few months, as Basim eliminated his targets, visions of the jinni haunted him while he was awake. Sometimes these manic episodes would last a few minutes, others a few hours.

This time was no different.

Basim’s eyes darted around, trying to keep his eyes on the jinni, or perhaps trying to wrest the visions away. He felt like had been walking forever, but to where he couldn’t tell.

His heart raced. His palms sweat. He clutched the front of his robes. He needed to be strong. He needed to sever his ties to the past like Master Roshan told him he needed to. He needed to let go of his life before the Hidden Ones. His father, Nehal, Jasib-

Nashira’s face flashed in his mind. Her soft eyes, her dark curls, her melodic voice whispering in his ear.

Curse him, why couldn’t he just let go of the past!

He would not be weak.

He would not be-

“Basim?”

______________________________________________________________

Nashira furrowed her brows, looking upon Basim.

She couldn't make sense of his expression. There was a wild look in his eyes as they darted everywhere, never seeming to focus on anything. He was covered in sweat and, in some places, blood, though she was confident it wasn’t his. Still, his jerky movements worried her.

He stumbled in here not too long ago, a great surprise to her who hadn’t seen him in weeks. She doubted she would see him again after that night in Anbar.

She stepped forward, “Basim?” She said his name again, hoping it would get his attention. Still, he looked around, not seeing her there right in front of him.

She tilted her head. How could he not see her?

He began hyperventilating, “Nehal?” he called out, sounding pathetic. His breath quickened like he was struggling for air. Now she was growing worried.

Nashira shook her head, “No…no it’s Nashira.” She reached out to touch him on the shoulder, only to quickly find out what a terrible idea that was when he roughly shoved her hand away.

“Stay away!” he shouted, backing away from her.

“Okay, okay!” She reassured, jumping back. Basim was much stronger than her. That made him dangerous in his current state of mind. She needed to be careful.

He grunted, clutching his head in his hands, falling to his knees, “It’s just the jinni again….just the jinni…” He said it over and over again but he wasn’t speaking to her. He was talking to himself.

What is this jinni, Nashira wondered. Was this what Basim was seeing and talking to? Was this what was making him act so erratically?

Nashira had heard stories of jinnis as a child, the same as any child in Baghdad. None of the stories spoke of jinni’s tormenting people in this way. Her father, a man of science, largely brushed off such supernatural notions as this, and she learned to do the same. Once again, Basim seemed to challenge everything she thought she understood.

Nashira crouched down, getting on his level and did what any good scientist would do. She observed him, to better understand.

“She’s not here…it’s not her…not ya habibti….” Basim choked back a cry, “I am….alone….”

Nashira had never seen Basim like this. For as long as she knew him, she never saw him break down like this. Never saw him look so…timid. His voice, usually deep and baritone, sounded so impossibly small.

How long had these spells….this jinni…been tormenting her sweet Basim?

Without thinking she reached a hand out towards him, but pulled back. What could she do? Could she really help in out of this state?

On second thought, why was she even thinking so hard about this? The longer she thought the more he’d suffer this spell. She needed to act now.

Nashira moved closer to him, carefully reaching a hand out to him. Her hand rested on his back, and relief washed over her when he did not shove her away.

Gently, she rubbed circles in his back, “It’s okay ya habibi,” She whispered, “I’m right here…you’re not alone.”

His breathing calmed down a bit. Slowly, Basim sat up from his hunched over position, coming face to face with Nashira. This time, he seemed to focus on her, at least in her direction because his stare looked as thorough as it was focused on something far away. In his vision, there was still darkness, but now there was a light shimmering in the distance. A light where her voice came pulled him to.

“Nashira?” He whimpered, praying she wasn’t just another illusion.

He sucked in a breath, feeling a soft palm cradle his face, “I’m right here, ya habibi.”

Basim leaned into her touch, the hair of his beard tickling her palm. She pushed the hood off his face so she could see him better. The dark circles under his eyes grew bigger since the last time she saw him, meaning he’d hardly slept. Or at least, his lack of sleep was growing worse than before. She assumed his lack of sleep was because of his Hidden One duties. Now she wondered if this jinni had something to do with it.

She ran her thumb along his cheek, giving him a comforting look as she did, “I’m right here, Basim. You don’t have to be scared.” Their foreheads were just inches away from each other, as if she had to show him she was right there with him.

Basim’s hand crept towards his face to cover her hand with his own, sighing at how soft it felt. She was real and in front of him, right within his reach.

His breathing slowed, the smoke cleared, and his eyes filled with light again and there she was. Her golden brown eyes staring back at him, seeing him. That both calmed and terrified him.

He crumbled into her, clutching her robes, afraid if he let go she’d vanish like smoke. He dug his face into her neck, forgetting himself around her. He felt his nerves calm when her hands carefully ran up and down his back in response.

They sat there, her holding him, him holding her, for what felt like an eternity. They had hoped as much, at least.

Before long, Nashira helped him up as best as she could. Despite his episode seeming to be over, his body was still stiff. That coupled with the dense amount of muscle he owned made it difficult for Nashira to aid him though she did so nonetheless.

“Come,” She straightened them both up, “You must rest. You look so tired…”

All Basim could do was nod in agreement, slowly making his way to the seating area Nashira led him to. There were several pillows scattered around the colorful rugs, and Basim suddenly became aware of how exhausted he was.

Nashira helped him lay down, as Basim was still shaken from what happened. She smoothed a hand over his heart, feeling it slow from her touch.

“Rest, Basim.” She said just above a whisper. Above him, glowing in the dim moonlight, Nashira looked so angelic to him. He wanted to remember every part of her face like this, bathed in moonlight under stars. That tender look in her eyes as they crinkled in the corners from her smile. The mark just above her eyebrow that danced with her expressions. He never wanted to forget her face.

When she moved to stand up, Basim wouldn’t let go of her hand, “Stay with me? Please?”

Nashira’s eyes widened, then softened, and she wordlessly laid down next to him. She wrapped her arms around his torso, laying her cheek on his back. She felt him place his hands over hers as he slowed his breathing, feeling sleep take over.

They lulled each other to sleep with their shallow breaths.

_____________________________________________________________

Basim awoke before Nashira.

It was morning, the sun just beginning to break above the minarets. The call to worship rang out in the distance. He blinked a few times from the sunlight breaking through the window, memories of the night before flooded his mind again.

He remembered the jinni, he remembered the nightmares, he remembered Nashira’s words and her touch.

I’m here, ya habibi.

His heart fluttered remembering those words. He looked down, seeing Nashira’s head resting on his chest as the sunlight shone on her hair and face. Her shallow breaths coming in and out of her nose brought a smile to his face. With his fingertips he inched his hand close to her hair to move a fallen lock awake from her forehead.

It terrified him that she knew now, about the jinni, about the nightmares…he still dreaded having to explain the extent of them. Despite seeing him in his worst state, she still just saw Basim. That alone made him feel safe being vulnerable. He hadn’t felt that in so long, not with the life he led now. Such a thing would usually see his demise.

Then he remembered where he was: laying in the arms of a married woman. A married woman whose entire life would go to ruin if she were caught in such a situation with a man other than her husband, regardless of the innocence of their interaction.

He slithered out of her grasp, hoping to make it to the window without waking her. He quickly pulled up his hood and began gathering his things.

He swallowed hard. What on earth was he thinking? He knew better than to come her. Pursuing this, pursuing her again would only cause more trouble for her. She had a life, a husband, and her passion to think of. He couldn’t risk ruining that for her. He wouldn’t. She deserved all the world had to offer and he wouldn’t get in the way of that.

As he made his way to the window, he heard a shuffle on the rug behind him.

"You're leaving?"

He gasped, looking back to see Nashira fully awake on the rug where they slept.

He hung his head, "...Yes." He muttered, memories of the night before flashing in his mind. He did not want to see the look of pity on her face.

Nashira shook her head, "No, please. Stay." She pleaded with him, "I don't want you to leave. Not again."

She got up from where she lay and slowly made her way to him, trying to get him to look at her, though his eyes seemed glued to the ground when she stood in front of him.

She took one of his hands in hers, "Do you remember what happened?"

Basim reluctantly nodded.

"How long has this been going on for?" She asked again.

He sighed, "As long as I can remember."

Nashira's eyes widened, "You have been suffering with these nightmares for that long?"

He finally looked up from the ground, nodding.

He didn't see pity in her eyes, instead, there was a deep sense of compassion there, and he suddenly felt stupid for thinking she'd be judgmental.

She furrowed her brows, "I knew there was something wrong but I never wanted to push you to say anything." she hung her head, remembering how torn up he looked when he arrived to her observatory, "Perhaps I should have..."

He shook his head, "No, no, I didn't want you to find out this way," He lifted her chin up, "Please do not blame yourself."

"Why didn't you want me to know?" She asked?

Basim shrugged his shoulders, "How could I expect you to understand something I can not even make sense of?"

Nashira's eyes grew sad as she listened to him speak.

"Ana majnun. A madman." he continued, "I've tried so hard to deal with them, to let go of the past, but I can't...I am sorry I burdened you with all of this...I'm sorry I never told you."

Nashira squeezed his hand, "Do not apologize. Being there for you has never felt like a burden.” She caressed his beard in her hand, “And you are not the only one who can't let go of the past."

Basim’s eyes softened as he held her gaze. He pulled her in for a hug, holding tight as if she’d go up in smoke if he let go. But she wouldn’t. She was real, and she was right there with him.

"No more secrets between us, ya habibi." she whispered in his ear, “You asked me once before if I loved Omar. I don’t. I love you, Basim.”

Basim swallowed hard as they pulled away, deciding to throw caution to the wind, "I love you too, Nashira. I never stopped."

Nashira's heart fluttered from his words. Regardless of what fate had in mind for them, she made the decision right then and there: She would chose Basim one hundred times over. Madman or not, nothing would stop her from loving him wholeheartedly.

Her hand gently guided him to her, pressing their lips together. His arms snakes around her waist. His kiss was as sweet and tender as she remembered, and all the others that followed after. Basim kissed her back like he couldn’t get close enough to her, like he’d wake up and realize this was all a dream.

They pulled apart, resting their foreheads together.

“Turqburni, Nashira.” His thumbs drew circles in the fabric of her robes on her back.

Nashira brought her arms around his shoulders, pulling him in for another deep kiss.

______________

Author’s Note: Tuqburni is an endearment phrase in Arabic that roughly translates to “you bury me.” According to my research, the idea behind the phrase is that the person loves someone so much, they’d rather die and be buried than live without their partner.

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