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#never mind me

two guys have asked me on dates since the corona situation officially graduated from mildly concerning to oh shit close everything down! and it is so weird having to go well you seem nice enough but the economy is collapsing, people are dying and the queen came into all of our living rooms looked us in the eyes and asked us to stay at home so no, I will not be going out to meet a stranger for a cup of coffee right now

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Second official day of online learning and I hate it. I didn’t think I’d dislike it as much as I do but it sucks. One of my teachers insists on meeting over group video chat every day that we have class at the time the class would normally be.

I missed Monday and today and if I miss Thursday I’m probably screwed because this is the teacher that told me that “everyone gets bored,” when I explained that the reason that I do my own personal things during class is because I get bored. She has also assigned us too much work and it’s making me very overwhelmed.

Last week was mostly relaxation but this week there are actually expectations and the lack of structure is stressing me out. It’s not like I can structure things for myself because I can’t trust myself to follow that and my parents can’t do it because it will stress me out so I just gotta deal with it and it sucks.

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Just did more reading than skimming of that obit, and I think I’ve spotted some Grade A bullshit!

Bill was a Vietnam era veteran and flew in Grumman OV-1 Mohawk airplanes conducting surveillance deep in enemy territory taking photos for the US Army in the 1960’s.   This had been a highly classified program at the time and Bill never spoke of it until about year ago after his wife Trudy passed away in 2018 long after the program had been declassified. 

The version I always heard? Bill spent his whole stint in a fairly cushy base motor pool position in Wiesbaden then Mainz/Wackernheim. They tried to persuade him to re-up partly because he was so good at, erm, unofficial acquisitions for the motor pool. (I.e., some seriously sticky fingers which were useful to some superiors at the time. )

My mother would have totally mentioned it if he’d been gone and couldn’t/wouldn’t talk about it. She’d have mentioned it if he had talked about it at all. They were living together in off-base housing the whole time. She’d have probably mentioned it if he was late for supper with a dodgy-sounding excuse one time in 1969, as much as she hated him later on and liked to tell me about it.

Now, I would be surprised if the Army hadn’t been running surveillance flights over the DDR at the time. They probably wouldn’t assign random dudes from the motor pool to those, but stranger things have happened. (Maybe especially where the military is concerned.)

But, “deep in enemy territory” in the context of the Vietnam War? I don’t think that East Germany possibility would even qualify.

Not that people making shit up about their military service is an unusual thing, but I had to get crap amused at that story. Which probably my stepbrother and/or his wife thought sounded impressive enough to include in an obituary.

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every time my siblings create a new niece/nephew they have the audacity to ask if I want to hold the baby when I am always instantly that “if anything happens to them…” B99 meme YES OF COURSE I WANT TO HOLD THE BABY you fucking try and stop me

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I think I’m gonna revamp this blog with more of a nature theme, because I love nature and have (probably literally) +9000 pictures of trees, flowers, and bugs I want to dump somewhere. But it’s still going to be a writing blog, hopefully with more original content. Seasonal affective disorder has kept me from being as productive as I’d like, but as the days get longer as we go into the new year, I think my motivation will increase. I’m just, like, so tired, man. But I’ll get through it. Brighter days are ahead.

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I just watched the 2011 adaption of Jane Eyre and while I understand why they cut out the fortune teller part which is an objectively silly scene, I am also furious that they cut it out because it is such a good example of how ridicoulous Rochester is. Rochester dresses as a fortune teller to try and trick Jane into revealing she has a crush on him, which he fails at while also dropping hints left and right that he is into Jane. He then gets stuck in his own costume and needs Jane’s help getting out of it. 

This is the hero of the piece. The same guy who makes his first appearance falling of his horse swearing and who forgets the color of Jane’s hair and eyes while talking to her. Yes Rochester is brooding with several skeletons in the attic closet but he also wouldn’t know dignified if it hit him upside the head. Let him dress up

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Do you know who’s a dumbass?

Me.

I’ve gotten myself into two presentations (one in two, the other in three weeks) and a lesson protocol (also in two weeks) for uni.

It’s good on one hand, bc in each subject we only have to do one presentation, which means three of the possible four presentations will be over in 21 days, but also it’s in all subject the first presentation of the year (again: good bc no comparison, bad bc I got no idea how much is expected). And it’s all in a very narrow timeframe.

I’ll be dead, but free, by the end of it.

Now you know what chaotic kind of person runs this blog

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