something bad happened to you, and you died, and you came back wrong.
not wrong all the way. the little ways. you forget important dates, stopped going out with friends. it's harder to make you smile. you're apathetic towards things you used to love, afraid of places you used to go to cheer up. quieter. flinching. different.
you came back for love. you're still here for love. what pulled you back was a brightness so loud that even death couldn't outshout it. death heard the call and smiled at you and said okay. go home. somebody is waiting for you.
but you came back different. like lot's wife; you've turned into salt. you used to chirp through life in hops and skips; but now you lose skin just standing up. you have to move slower, skimming across this world without-touching-it. most things feel dull - until they're suddenly all-too-much. life, and being alive just rushes up and over you and you get hopelessly crushed.
you try to explain it to them: it is ugly, but this is what you are, now. the huge golden hoop of your halo now a little bronze ring. you are still watering your plants and wearing the same clothes. after all, you worked hard to come home. this life; so odd and off-color, now that you are wrong.
but they waited for you - it's just that they wanted the "you" that happened before this. the "you" that could sing in the show and hug people tight and look at a blade without breaking down to cry. the you with a smile in pictures. god, holyshit, it's like looking at a completely different person, isn't it. that other-you; the one they actually wanted.
you are the consolation prize. you are the body that forgot the ghost. you are the memory of the bad thing, and the death after; like you are wearing that memory as a banner. you are a fragment, an assembly. simulacrum. you don't make eye contact in mirrors, afraid the light will glance off and your true nature will flash back at you.
you hear them talk about it in their hushed, desperate whispers. sometimes they even admit it to your face; harsh and violent, acid thrown at christmas dinner. god, can you just fucking be normal again. you do not remember what normal is. you had to climb so far to get back here; you are far too exhausted. you want to open the glass door of your heart and show all the gears. can you help resolve whatever got messed up?
you try so, so hard. you came back for them. because you believed they would love you, even when you were so horribly broken. because you believed they would be patient. because you believed unconditional meant "without exception." you cannot do things the same way. you just get tired too quickly these days.
you want to put them on a couch and pour them the tea with hands that shake more than they remember. you want to line them up and draw them a map of where you have had to wander. you want to show every bruise in a backsplash; the little helpless ant of your soul carrying all that weight, over and over. you want to say: yes! it is different! but i did it for love!
you want to say: "i'm not the same, but i'm yours and i'm here. can that be enough?"
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wait because seriously being an adult therian fucking rips, especially when you start being independent.
dog with a blog? nah. dog with a JOB. i come into work with my tail and my theta delta necklace and the building implodes from my sheer swag. weirdo teenagers love me. also having your own paycheck means you can get whatever gear/treats you want (once bills are paid, of course - bet youve never heard a dog say that!)
living in your own apartment? well the pet limit is 2 but if i include myself im going over the limit. whoops! good thing i love lying to landlords (fuck landlords). living alone (no roomie) is even better bc theres no one to judge you for your animal habits. i can make a huge den in the living room and who is going to stop me?
i even have my own health insurance. bro. imagine being a dog with medicaid. im climbing the walls and howling and barking. i love being a dog filling out government paperwork.
having your own vehicle? THIS DOG CAN DRIVE! if i feel like going to the lake i can just go to the lake! nobody is stopping me! midnight ride with the windows down to howl at the moon? yes please!!
you can literally just go wherever bro. i moved 11 hours from my hometown to the mountains to feel more at home. i lived in the great plains and now i can just go out for a hike in the rockies and howl at the sky.
being an adult therian slaps so fucking hard i cant wait for the youth to grow up and experience the joy of freedom. yes being an adult is incredibly stressful but if youve been stifled living with family, you get a real chance to develop who you truly are. adult therians i love you im rubbing against your neck and mixing our scents. mwah.
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Elise Louella (new roommate in @apt502-if )
she/her / bi / 24 / 5'6 / THAT new artist in Simpatico
>does oil paint, pottery and wants to try sculpting
>tries very hard because of.. idk lawyer (ex) gf
>always tries to look "the part"
>is actually just a crybaby
>didyoubreakupwithmebecauseIcantcook
>looks very serious but is always soft around RO
RO = I can'T decide YET
I feel blessed having found this IF. Thank you for making this.
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The semester is almost over which means! We're almost back to analyzing the entirety of the Sherlock Holmes canon while looking at Victorian queer culture!! Stay tuned!
P.S. I am such a boomer when is comes to tumblr dot com and since I post other fandoms/interests a lot would being updated for this be easier with a tag to follow? I'll add a poll since my reach is tragically small (I am but a little guy) and who doesn't love a good survey
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hello, i wanted to post some updates ☆
1 - it's almost been over a year since i last posted my writing,,,,which is crazy bc i havent stopped writing twst brainrot at all– the "moving to another country + settling in" thing really killed my motivation to post n stuff, but i am still into twst yipeeee
2 - i will be posting my maid zine piece on here soon ! it features the second years, and has lots of shenanigans happening in them, so i hope you look forward to it ^^ (and it features some rlly amazing spotart by the one and only dumple !!)
3 - i also wanted to announce that i will be opening writing commissions around end of april-may ! yayy finallyyy !! if you ever wanted anything written by me, be it a one shot w/ twst ocs or headcanons of your faves, please make sure to check it out ^^ (i'll post my comm carrd on here + when comms will open later after i finalize it yipee)
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