#next time just say you don't care about me it's fine

[buriedpair]

How would all the yanderes react to a shy darling working at the casino as wait staff who attempts to keep their distance only working to pay off a debt the innocent type like a frightened kitten or bunny

You got it! Sorry for posting so much followers, I love my guys so much. I have a Gambit post incoming after this!!!

Yandere!OCS x GN Reader

Amias

He's had you as his server a few times. Admittedly, you never spoke much and got nervous easily, but he enjoys your company. It's a nice change from the other over dramatic fucks working in this damn place.

That's how he finds himself requesting you to his confused waiter one day, and then the next. Eventually, everyone just assumes he wants you as his server when he walks in. He starts ordering drinks more frequently to try and make you open up. It's just too endearing, how you avoid his questions and avert your gaze and whatnot.

You, on the other hand, are alarmed. You've never had a regular before. You immediately try to get out of it. Every day he asks for you, you're miraculously missing, busy, or on break.

It doesn't frustrate Amias in the slightest. When he's told that you're not there, he simply gets up to look for you.

No doubt, he WILL find you.

"So afraid all the time... Rightfully. You should be."

Edge

As a dealer, he doesn't get to move from his spot much. You've been formally introduced to each other before, but he's never cared much. You're not interesting to him.

On one of his late-night shifts, he notices you're still there. But... weren't you there when he came in? On his next break, he asks you about it. He doesn't seem concerned, just curious. Hesitantly, you explain that you had to pick up someone else's shift because you needed the cash. You try to explain that it's definitely not like you're in crippling debt right now, and you're totally fine.

He finds this curious. He's no doubt had to pick up shifts before in his life, but he finds it endearing how insistent you are that you're fine. When he pokes further into it, he ends up with all the information he needs.

You're such a meek little thing, he wonders how easily you'd break under his thumb.

Time passes, and he slowly starts to nudge and press against your insecurities. It's like your melting into a pool of "what the fuck" and being rebuilt over and over again. He supports you financially for a while, and you're forced to stay at his side for as long as he wants you to. Which is to say, until you're boring again.

"Love, ownership... Are they not the same?"

Double Down

He thinks you're just ADORABLE. He finds time to flirt with you, even when he's busy. He'll dedicate his executions to you, he'll watch you like a hawk from where he stands... You're like his own personal pet!

It's superficial at first. He just wants to get you in his grasp long enough to entertain him. Once he's done with you, he casts you aside again. Yet, once you're gone, he finds himself waiting for you to come back.

You don't.

You realize you've been used like an object, and timidly resign to go find a better job. (Frankly, it's good for you anyways. It's hard to watch so many people bite it each day.) You're madly, deeply, truly embarrassed that you let him win.

When DD finds out you've quit, he grows furious. Why? He doesn't know. All he knows is that you left him. NOBODY leaves him. Not until he's done with them.

Rest assured that you are completely and utterly unsafe now. Poor kitten, he'll be sure to take terrible care of you.

"Leaving me is the last mistake you'll ever make, if you want to keep your cute little eyes open."

BONUS ROUND!

Jackpot and Gambit

Jackpot just oozes confidence, so naturally you stay as far away from him as you can. He's practically the exact opposite of you. Plus, looking at him makes you nervous. Additionally, Gambit is like the boss of all bosses. There's no way you could speak to him other than a small squeak every time he regards you.

They noticed you, though. How do you think you got this job? Jackpot saw you and knew he wanted you, and Gambit followed suit as soon as he saw your poor, pitiful self.

You spilled someone's drink. Fuck. You're screwed. You're dead. You're fired. You'll crawl into a hole now, thank you. The drunk customer is enraged in an instant. He stands to throw hands, and you flinch back.

The punch never lands, however. Your knight in blue, skin-tight armor has arrived. Jackpot smiles softly at the offender, as if he wasn't holding his fist in a death grip. In a deceptively sweet tone, he explains that he doesn't tolerate any sort of violence toward the staff.

Once the customer is kindly escorted out of the establishment, Jackpot finally acknowledges you. He doesn't speak, he simply pulls your shaking form into his strong embrace. Your fear is overshadowed by intense embarrassment considering the amount of clothes he's wearing. He's warm, though.

He hushes you as he holds you, stroking your hair and swaying back and fourth. You internally wonder how this man manages to show such intimacy.

You hardly notice that there's a discussion going on around you until your arm is gently taken by... Well, fuck. Your boss is here. You're definitely fired.

Gambit chuckles in acknowledgement of your nerves, shaking his head. He doesn't seem angry, more amused. He plants a kiss to the back of your hand, asking you how you're feeling. You stumble over your words, unable to form a coherent sentence in such a situation.

They both smile fondly-- Nay, possessively-- down at you. How cute, maybe now you'll learn that they're the only ones who can protect you.

"You don't need to worry, sweet thing. We'll never let anyone hurt you again."

"I'll make sure you feel much better by your next shift. You'll have to stay with us for a while. No arguments, unless you want that debt to swallow you whole."

#yandere oc #yandere #yandere x reader #yandere boy #yandere art #yandere x darling #yandere boyfriend #yandere x you

[cosmerelists]

Cosmere Characters React to Finding Fanfic/Fanart of Themselves: A Collab with Cosmereplay

As requested by anon :)

I asked @cosmereplay to collab with me on this anon's request, and happily, she agreed! Basically, I've written the fanart parts of this, and Cosmereplay has taken care of the fanfic parts since I, ah, don't read fanfic and wouldn't know the really good jokes.

1. Shallan, Adolin, & Kaladin Read Fanfic

Shallan (reading tags): Hmmm...ace Kaladin, aromantic Kaladin, bisexual Kaladin, bottom Kaladin (I'll have to look into that one later...), demisexual Kaladin, demiromantic Kaladin, dom Kaladin... Adolin: What are the relationship tags like? Shallan: Let's see... blushes thoroughly OH LOOK KALADIN/SLEEP! THAT'S SO SWEET! Oooh...Kaladin/Happiness! Kaladin: Everybody's a critic. Adolin: They just want you to be happy, Kal! Kaladin: I-I'm fine most of the time!

2. Elend & Vin Look at Fanart

Elend: Wow! Stunning! Magnificent! Vin (peering over his shoulder): Uh, Elend, I think you're supposed to be looking at art of yourself. Those are all pictures of me. Elend: Can you blame me?? I mean look at you here! Vin: I suppose I look...somewhat cool there. Elend: Ascendent, I'd say!

3. Ellista and Pai Read "Covenant" by liesmyth

Ardent Ellista: Oh you HAVE to read this one, it's the most popular Cosmere fic by kudos! Kaladin Stormblessed and Highprince Adolin are soulmates, it's so sad yet hopeful! Ardent Pai: I bet it doesn't even mention their class differences. Ardent Ellista: No it totally does! And it really gets in the way of them kissing!! Ardent Pai: Well maybe I'll take a look then.

4. The Kholin Family Look at Fanart: Part 1 (Dalinar & Navani)

Jasnah (slamming a large tome onto the table): All right, everyone. I've finished my extensive research into the fanart of our family. Jasnah: Dalinar, according to my findings, people on the internet find you (a) extremely sexy and (b) wish you to be shirtless on the beach. Jasnah: There is also extensive interest in you being strong but vulnerable in the face of Odium, which I believe goes back to point (a), your assumed sexiness. Dalinar: ... Dalinar: I see. Jasnah: Navani, the residents of the internet desperately wish to see you explore women as romantic/sexual options. Navani: ...In general, or specific women? Jasnah: Mostly Ialai and Raboniel, from what I have seen. You can see here, and here. Navani: Sure, makes sense. Dalinar: (Does it??)

5. Sigzil & Lopen Read Fanfic

Sigzil: Bridge Fourgy? Ohhh... oh no... Lopen: Well now you GOTTA read it, gancho! Sigzil: I will burn it is what I will do.

6. Hoid & Design Look at Fanart

Hoid: (huffing and harumphing) Design: Well, I think the art is nice! Hoid: (harumphing and huffing) Design: The colors are spot-on, there's some symmetry... Hoid: (muttering) I've been involved in practically every Cosmere-significant event...I tell stories with colors and magic imagery...I beat up Kelsier that one time... Hoid: But nooooo they only want to draw me in the Mare shirt with mismatching socks and sandals!!! AND TINY RED SHORTS Design: Wow, look at my boobs in this one! They're so round and shiny! Hoid: ...I feel like you are not sympathizing with me here.

7. Rushu & Jasnah read "The Princess and the Captain" by ailvara

Rushu: Your Majesty I looked into the most popular fanfic by hits and discovered it's an ongoing slowburn romance between you and, uh... well... Jasnah: Out with it, Rushu. Rushu: You and Kaladin Stormblessed. Jasnah: Me? And Kaladin?? But he's half my age! And we've done nothing but argue! Rushu (blushing): I think that's part of the appeal, Your Majesty. Jasnah: Give me that. (reading) Well if he said THAT then maybe I wouldn't have... hm... Rushu, cancel my appointments for the next hour, I need to finish this. Rushu: Of course, Your Majesty! (sotto voice) Thank goodness she still doesn't know about the Hoid foot fics...

8. The Kholin Family: Part 2 (Adolin & Renarin)

Jasnah (continuing to leaf through her large book of findings): Adolin, according to my research, the internet thinks that you are a handsome, sweet man who wishes to be with his friends. For example, here. Jasnah: It is mostly you, Shallan, and Kaladin, however you want to read that. Adolin: As...reality? Jasnah: Renarin, if you are not suffering emotionally alongside a stained glass motif, or suffering emotionally as a child alongside Dalinar, then you are with Rlain. Renarin: With him as in...? Jasnah: Yes. Renarin: ... Renarin: I thought we were being fairly subtle! Jasnah: You were not.

9. Moash & Leshwi Read Fanfic

Moash: What are the fics about me like? Leshwi: Well, you either die a violent, horrible death or you make tender love to... Leshwi: ... Leshwi: ...Kaladin Stormblessed? You know him? Moash: Ok so here's the thing

10. Moash & Kaladin Look at Fanart

Moash: Okay...I should definitely get my ears pierced, right? Moash: I mean...look at me. Look at me, Kal! Hot, right? Moash: ...Kal? Kaladin: ... Kaladin: [silently pushing this art toward Moash] Kaladin: There are a lot like this. Moash: What, of you standing? Kaladin: Smiling. Kaladin: People want me to smile, I guess. Moash: ... Moash: Well, I bet you'd smile more if I was always looking hot in earrings, huh? Kaladin: Heh, yeah, probably.

#among many other things I love that all of cosmereplay's entries have the fanfic being read by women to the men #cosmere #cosmerelists #Kaladin #Adolin #Shallan #Hoid #Design #Jasnah #Dalinar #Navani #Renarin #Moash #Rushu #Sigzil #Lopen #Ellista #Pai

[otomehoneyybearr]

Kagari Epilogue

The Beast Tempts the Little Rabbit

Pictures have been updated!

 The turmoil at the charity party came to a close without incident, and the following day—

Emma: "I'm sorry."

I invited Kagari to a tea party I held in the greenhouse of Jade Castle to apologize to him.

Kagari: "It's fine. Lift your head."

Kagari: "Is what I'd like to say, but I don't recall you ever being rude to me. And it's not like me to forget things."

Emma: "It was during yesterday's party."

Emma: "I made several remarks criticizing you without understanding the situation."

Emma: "And despite being told to wait in the room, I chased after you, charged at an enemy unarmed, and fainted."

Kagari: "Just hearing that makes you sound like a beast that accidentally wandered into human territory."

Emma: "As a result, you had to carry me all the way to the guest room here in the castle. I’ve caused you a lot of trouble.”

Kagari: "I think the cause of you fainting was my fault but... it’s fine."

Kagari: "Apologies are unnecessary. I’ve already dealt with the person I was after, to some extent."

This morning, I remembered what Prince Keith had told Kagari.

(If I remember correctly, the merchant's eye and leg were considered as unusable.)

(If Prince Keith hadn't shown up when he did, it wouldn't have ended with just that.)

I couldn’t help but think about the worst-case scenario and shuddered.

Kagari: "Also, I don't feel like I was criticized at all."

Kagari: "For starters, our living environments are vastly different. It's natural for our way of thinking to be different too."

Kagari: "You simply just expressed your opinion about that difference, yet you didn't reject mine, did you?"

Emma: "...Right."

Kagari: "Then don't apologize. It wasn't a mistake."

Kagari: "But in Kogyoku, lukewarm thoughts like yours can be fatal."

Kagari: "If you want to die, that's fine, but be careful if you go there."

Emma: "Understood. Thank you for your advice!"

I nodded, and Kagari, seemingly satisfied with all that he had to say, took a sip of tea.

I was almost enchanted by his graceful movements.

(Kagari doesn't hesitate to take lives.)

(But he's not just a cruel person as he gives me advice like this and even returned my wallet.)

Although we're still practically strangers, I felt that way from every one of his words and actions.

Kagari: "So..."

Emma: "Yes?"

Kagari: "Can I eat these dorayaki?"

In front of Kagari’s gaze was a table filled with dorayaki as far as the eye could see.

Among them was the dorayaki from the mobile shop that I had eaten yesterday.

(I remember Prince Keith telling me about it and snuck out to buy some.)

Emma: "Please do! I prepared them just for you, Kagari."

Kagari: "For me...? Then I’ll gratefully accept it."

While there was no change in his expression or tone of voice, the atmosphere around us seemed to have relaxed slightly.

Kagari’s hand reached for the dorayaki—but for some reason, he withdrew it without taking one.

Kagari: "..."

(Huh? He stood up.)

As I watched his movements, he placed his chair right next to me without leaving any room, and sat back down.

And he opened his mouth towards me.

(...?)

I was left speechless with a bewildered expression.

Kagari: "Princess, you're slow on the uptake."

Kagari: "I'm going to eat you, not the dorayaki."

Emma: "Wha... You bit me again!?"

Heat spread from where he bit me.

I glared at Kagari while holding my neck, and he stared back at me with his chin resting on his hand.

He seemed a bit disappointed.

Kagari: "Aren’t you going to say 'Ah' like you did yesterday?"

Emma: "I didn't say that."

Kagari: "Yes you did. It was cute."

Emma: "Cu... That's not the point. Please don't bite me again."

Kagari: "This is the first time I've bitten you."

Emma: " I remember you biting me yesterday, very clearly."

Kagari: "I didn't bite you. But..."

He lightly tapped the back of my hand that was holding my neck with two fingers.

Kagari: "I just lightly pressed into you with my nails like this."

Emma: "Liar..."

Kagari: "Unfortunately, I’m not lying."

(So I just assumed I was bitten and...)

(This is the worst... I wish I could faint right now. I feel like crying from embarrassment.)

Kagari: "I really liked that sound."

Kagari: "Won't you do it again? Misunderstood Princess—mmph"

Emma: "I've heard that the deliciousness of dorayaki decreases by half when it dries out, so please eat them as soon as possible!"

Intervening Kagari’s words, I forcibly fed him a piece of dorayaki cut with a fork.

Kagari: "..."

(He's really quiet now. Just as Prince Keith said, dorayaki works wonders on him.)

(But still... he must have noticed that I was flustered...)

(Kagari can be quite mean, despite his appearance.)

As I fanned my face with my hand to cool down, Kagari continued to silently eat the dorayaki at a steady pace.

Chewing, swallowing, and opening his mouth to take in another dorayaki. It was like an assembly line.

(Was Kagari opening his mouth as a sign for me to feed him?)

(...Perhaps as an apology.)

Kagari: "Princess."

Emma: "Oh, right, the dorayaki."

I pushed the empty plate aside and picked up a plate piled high with dorayaki.

(...It'll be fine, right?)

With a handful of nervousness in my chest, I offered a piece of dorayaki that I had cut into a bite-sized portion.

Kagari ate it without hesitation, then abruptly stopped moving.

(...Was it not good after all?)

Unable to bear the flowing silence, I spoke up.

Emma: "I made those dorayaki."

Kagari: "You did?"

Emma: "Just buying them seemed a bit bland, so I asked Prince Keith to borrowed the kitchen."

Emma: "I followed the recipe exactly, but it never turned out right."

(I should ask owner for some tips when I get back.)

(For now, I'll eat this one myself, and get another one...)

Kagari: "Wait."

He stopped my hand that was trying to move the plate away and returned it to its original position.

Emma: "Wasn’t it not to your liking?"

Kagari: "Who said that? It's delicious."

Emma: "R-really!?"

Kagari: "Yeah, I like the taste of something you're not used to making."

(That's... a somewhat puzzling response.)

(But I'm glad he thinks it good.)

Emma: "Thank you."

I once again brought the dorayaki to Kagari’s mouth.

He ate it, seemingly faster than before, and my expression naturally relaxed.

(Hehe, he's starting to look cute.)

Whenever I offered him a dorayaki, he opened his mouth obediently without changing his expression, and it was fascinating to watch.

(...I wonder what that was yesterday.)

●●●●●● Flashback ●●●●●●

Kagari: "If I kneel down and cutely meow like a cat, will I get your attention?"

●●●●●● Flashback End ●●●●●●

Remembering the sweet and fierce heat I saw in his eyes, my body tensed slightly.

The atmosphere was different from when we met in the city or when he was wielding his sword.

I hastily shook off my thoughts in response to the incomprehensible fear.

Kagari: "What's wrong, Princess?"

Emma: "Oh... um, I was just thinking that I'd like to try some authentic dorayaki while watching cherry blossoms..."

Emma: "But it's just a thought."

To cover it up, I hastily came up with an excuse, but Kagari tilted his head.

Kagari: "So you want to eat dorayaki while having a cherry blossom viewing in Kogyoku?"

Emma: "Yes."

Emma: "To do that, I'll need to learn how to protect myself better and become stronger."

Kagari: "You'll probably die before you become strong."

Emma: "...You're really killing my motivation, Kagari."

Kagari: "I'm just being realistic."

After pretending to think for a moment, Kagari took a sip of tea.

Kagari: "If you really want to come to Kogyoku, call me. I'll act as your escort."

Emma: "Really? Is that okay?"

Kagari: "You did feed me dorayaki, after all."

Kagari: "And as a bonus, I'll even teach you an easy way to kill someone."

Emma: "...I'll pass on that, thank you."

Kagari: "I’m just kidding."

Kagari: "But as a minimum for self-defense, you should have a short sword or a knife with you."

Kagari: "Even if you don't want to take someone's life, it's important not to be defenseless."

Emma: "Thank you for your concern."

Even in Kogyoku, known as a turbulent country, there are safe territories.

However, I learned from the owner that most people still carry swords.

(Talking to Kagari makes me realize the stark differences between my everyday life in Rhodolite and there.)

Kagari: "Princess, Princess."

His voice interrupted my thoughts.

Emma: "Yes, what is it...? Mmph."

He suddenly stuffed something into my mouth, and the gentle sweetness spread across my tongue.

(It's a dorayaki.)

I chewed and swallowed.

Kagari: "Is it good?"

Emma: "It's delicious."

Kagari: "Then have another bite."

Emma: "Mmph-- Kagari, what's gotten into you all of a sudden? Also, this bite is a bit too big!"

Kagari: "It's fine, you can handle it."

(He's being so forceful!)

(He demanded to be fed dorayaki, and now he's turning the tables and feeding me.)

(He's really an unpredictable person.)

(But... one thing is for certain...)

As I chewed on the dorayaki, I looked at Kagari.

His expressionless emerald eyes met mine, just like when we first met.

(What does Kagari think of me after yesterday's incident? I have no idea.)

(Just one thing...)

Kagari: "Princess."

(I feel like he's... grown fond of me.)

As I thought that, it seemed like Kagari had a swaying cat's tail attached to him.

▼・ᴥ・▼

#ikemen prince #ikepri #ikepri translations #ikepri spoilers #ikepri kagari #kagari amagase

[bellaxgiornata]

OMG—I wanna ask the boys for sure—what is their inner animal (respectively) that THEY think they have versus what you think for them, vs what they would assign for each other???

🤣🤣🤣

#letthechaosbegin

If you wanted chaos with this internal dialogue, you certainly found it 😅 The moment I read this ask, two of the boys immediately started causing trouble which is why it took a bit to get this answered 😆 As always, it's below the cut because this was long.

Bella: Welcome back to another round of ASK THE BOYS!!

Matt, muttering under his breath: Always got to yell that now, don't you?

Frank, roughly elbowing Matt on the couch: Let the lady have her fun, would ya?

Michael, ignoring the pair beside him: What's the question this time, pet?

Bella, glancing down at her phone: Looks like a multi-part question dealing with what your inner animals are.

Frank, eyes narrowing: Inner animal?

Bella: Yeah, and it looks like they want to know what I think each of you are, what you think your inner animal is, and then what you think each others’ inner animal is.

Frank, chuckling to himself: This'll be good.

Michael: Why don't ya start us off then, pet? Might need a minute to think.

Bella: Okay, well. I guess for Frank I'd say timber wolf. The Punisher gives me lone wolf vibes, but before that you used to be a part of a pack–whether it was your family or your Marine unit. And timber wolves typically mate for life, too, which screams loyal to me. I think you're a pretty loyal person–and pretty damn terrifying if someone messes with those you care about. So yeah. Wolf vibes all around.

Frank, nodding: Alright. Guess I can see that.

Bella: And for Matt, since he gives cat vibes, I'd say a leopard. Specifically a black panther. They're solitary animals, very territorial, and they're great climbers. Sort of like how you work alone, defend Hell’s Kitchen specifically despite it being such a small area, and you climb buildings like nobody's business. Plus, you know, the black suit and all.

Matt, grinning: Better than what I thought you'd pick.

Bella: And as for Mikey, well, I get grizzly bear vibes.

Michael, rolling his eyes: Is this a reference to the beard and chest hair again?

Bella, shaking her head: Not exactly, though now that you mention it–

Michael, mumbling: Figures…

Bella: No, wait! Hear me out. Grizzly bears are actually not aggressive unless provoked or caught off guard, otherwise they kind of mind their own business and want to be left alone. But obviously they'll protect their young and would savagely tear you apart if you fucked with them. I mean, we all know you don't want to be the killer your family forces you to be, you'd rather get out and live a quiet life. You just want a relationship with your daughter, Anna. But if anyone messed with her, you'd absolutely kill them without a second thought.

[Michael, running a hand across his mouth and humming thoughtfully.]

Bella, gently nudging his leg with a foot: See? There was a reason besides your glorious chest hair.

Matt, brows furrowing together: Glorious chest hair? Did you just actually say that?

Bella, waving off his comment: Okay, so why don't you guys each say what you think your inner animal is before you choose for each other next?

Frank, shrugging: I like the wolf thing. I'll go with that.

Matt, nodding: Yeah, I think I'll stick with the panther idea you had.

Bella, frowning: Seriously? You aren't even going to give it any more thought? [Looking hopefully over at Michael.] Please tell me you're not just going to say grizzly bear now?

Michael, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck: Uh, no. I s'pose…a dog? Generally don't fight unless provoked and they're usually considered friendly?

Bella, releasing a sigh: Fine. At least you put in more effort than those two. Now what do you think each others’ inner animal is?

Frank, immediately tossing a thumb at Matt: Chimpanzee. He's always climbing on buildings and making too much noise with his mouth.

Matt, frowning: It's called talking, Frank.

Frank, leaning back into the couch: More like chimpanzee noises to me. And they're territorial, too.

Michael, quietly chiming in: I'd still say stray cat for him.

Matt, frowning: Well then Frank is a hippo. Large and incredibly aggressive.

Frank, turning and shooting Matt a dirty look: The fuck you call me?

[Bella, burying her face in her hands while Frank and Matt begin to bicker on the couch.]

Michael, once more quietly chiming in: I picture him as more of a hawk. Or an eagle. Kinda stalks his prey from a distance before takin’ his shot.

Bella, glancing up at him: Well thank you for making some level of effort here while the old married couple over there just fights.

Matt, glowering: We are not an old married couple!

Frank, scowling: He's the last goddamn person I'd wanna be shackled to.

Bella, annoyed: Can we get back on track? You still need to pick an animal for Mikey.

Matt and Frank simultaneously: Dog.

Bella, throwing her hands up in defeat: Wow, really making an effort, you two. Great job.

Frank, rounding on Matt again: Look what you did, Red. You went and upset her.

Matt, eyebrows rising up onto his forehead: Me? You're the one not taking her game seriously!

[Matt and Frank return to arguing.]

Bella, focusing on Michael: You want a coffee? Cause I could use a coffee. They're making my head hurt.

Michael, nodding and rising from the couch: Yes. I'd love one.

Bella, heading to the kitchen with Michael: So what would my inner animal be?

Michael, nervously making a face: Uh…well…

Bella, shaking her head: Nevermind. Forget I asked. Let's just make some coffee.

#bellas 2.5k follower celebration #bella hears fictional characters #of course this eventually went off the rails 🙄 #thanks for actually trying mikey #matt murdock #frank castle #michael kinsella

[dreamerinthemoonlight]

Genshin Cuddles HCs (Cyno, Tighnari, Xiao)

I am having a huge burst of creative energy. I should be going to bed but NO! I will think of cuddling with the genshin boys. This is going to be weird. Awake me takes no responsibility for what sleep deprived me does. Reader is assumed to be short because I am and this is a self insert, hehe;  slight angst in Xiao's (I mean, it's Xiao)

A/N: Good gods, I really was tired when I did this. I had next to no formatting, a childish Authors note. To anyone who read this on my other blog, I am really, really sorry. I won't promise it won't happen again, so I'll apologize in advance for any future instances of sleepy posting.

I did my best to extent Tighnari's a little. Our fox-boy deserves more than a few sentences

Cyno x gn!reader, Tighnari x gn!reader, Xiao x gn!reader

Cyno

Mr. Serious Mahamatra is actually an amazing cuddler

He's a settled person so he's not going to fidget and squirm. He could probably cuddle for hours if you both had time.

Spooning is very much a favorite. Especially if you've had a long day, the two of you will lay in bed. He'll press himself against you back, wrapping his arms around you and pressing his lips into your hair. Even though he's one of the smaller Genshin guys, he's warm and radiates this steady, grounded energy. Being the little spoon makes you feel safe and cared for. More often than not you fall asleep when spooning.

On the other hand, when Cyno gets home after a long mission, you'll curl up on the couch with his head on your chest

After the darkness that permeates his job, your heartbeat represents light and life and goodness. He values the time spent listening to your heartbeat just as much as he values rules and justice. It's a balance he needs and he knows it.

Tighnari

You know how kittens will curl up in little piles, facing each other and all and it is really, really cute?

Yea, that's you and Tighnari

You'll kinda burrow into each other and he'll wrap his tail around your legs

He'll even yet you scratch his ears while he pets your hair. No sleeping really ever happens like this, but it's so relaxing you might as well have taken a nap

If you're cuddling because you had a really bad day, you two might spoon, or you'll sit on his lap while he holds you and lets you pet his tail.

If you happen to fall asleep while cuddling his tail like a stuffed animal, he's fine with it, but is glad there's no one around to take a picture because that would just be embarrassing.

Xiao

Xiao is probably so touch starved it's stupid

Once he starts getting physical affection and serious cuddles, he realizes that he actually really needs it not that you mind

Like Cyno the type of cuddles depends on the situation

He's not as into spooning, though it does happen especially late night when you're tired and ready to sleep. I think he really wants to be able to see your face and even in Teyvat physics don't really allow for that when spooning

Instead, when you're the one who needs comfort and touch, you snuggle up to his side and he wraps his arm around you. As usual he doesn't say much,  but with Xiao, he really lets his actions speak for him

When he needs the comfort, he tends to want you on his lap where his can bury his face in the crook of your neck. He wraps his arms tight around you like he's scared to let you go.

It's all you can you to stroke his hair or gently rub his back. Just like his actions speak louder than words, your actions are more likely to reach him than platitudes, though you make sure to use your words as well. He really could use them

And sometimes you're just in the mood to cuddle at which point it depends on when and where. His head in your lap, yours in his, honestly, all he cares about is being able to see your face and be in contact with you

#I dunno I think I'd probably like cuddling Cyno the best #At least as long as he doesn't pull out his bad jokes #Cyno #cyno x reader #cyno x gn!reader #Cyno hcs #Cyno fluff #Tighnari #tighnari x reader #tighnari x gn!reader #Tighnari hcs #Tighnari fluff #Xiao #xiao x reader #xiao x gn reader #Xiao hcs #Xiao fluff #genshin impact #genshin impact hcs #genshin hcs #genshin fluff #teyvat talk

[tubbytarchia]

Jimmy EVO thoughts

This is a loooong thread of summarized thoughts (cough 5500 words) of Jimmy in Evo, though mostly his and Martyn's Property Police relationship and how it leads into future treatment of Jimmy, as well as general Jimmy character analysis. Plus some Netty thoughts and such in relation to Jimmy too

Obligatory: I talk about characters only

The following is separated into categories, somewhat, but 90% of that is property police related... Netty and misc thoughts are down below

Shoutout once again to my friend for pointing out some stuff I missed or better than I could

(Martyn's self portrait. Idk felt appropriate)

1. Jimmy and Martyn (Property police) thoughts

Jimmy and Martyn overall are pretty cute and supportive and protective of one another but there are many many instances that Martyn unfairly scolds and plays him down. But then he'll turn around and show some form of care towards Jimmy which leaves me feeling conflicted. The way Martyn treats Jimmy here pretty effortlessly leads into Jimmy's further mistreatment in future SMPs imo

I'm gonna start off with a lot of negative aspects to the Property Police dynamic but trust me ok I've noted down all the cool and nice things too at a later point. As I said they're overall cute and nice!!! There's just a lot... to note... (I'm a big solidwood fan ok. sobs)

1.1 Martyn's caretaker role and the "chief"

All throughout, Martyn keeps bringing up this made-up character "chief" who they speak of as both a sort of boogeyman as well as a parental figure (Jimmy later says the chief is his father)? Like Jimmy causes trouble and Martyn goes "ahh I'm gonna have to tell the chief about this" to which Jimmy tries to plead his case. Or Martyn would express needing the chief to weigh in on whether Jimmy's doing a good enough job as Property Police. This makes sense though given Martyn's self-assigned caretaker role

Martyn largely acts like he needs to be taking care of Jimmy and doesn't trust him when he's alone (will be talked about in depth at the next point) and makes up this police chief character to spook Jimmy but also to, again, serve as some kind of replication of a parental figure... Jimmy himself talks about the chief that way too, saying stuff like "the chief told me to be careful"

There's some kind of pride essential to Martyn that he gets from taking on some kind of provider role, and/or it might be essential to him being able to show affection, at least at this point in time and at least towards Jimmy

Martyn likes to feel depended on and Jimmy does make it feel that way. He's constantly considering Martyn, following him around, supporting him. When he's not there, he frequently talks about him, how he's not here today but will be another time, how he's taking a break, how they'll be doing stuff together later... How they both agree that Jimmy doesn't fare well on his own (and how Jimmy and other people in Jimmy's life will hold onto this belief)

In one episode they're both finding these vacation apartments to buy? and Jimmy goes "can we be next to each other though? I'll miss you too much if we don't" :(

At some point Netty's appalled by how poor Jimmy is so he and Martyn make plans to mine together, and they decide to mine in different directions only for Jimmy to go back to Martyn anyway

I'm so sorry to be a weeb and use a screenshot from Free! of all things but this is Martyn and Jimmy. I don't make the rules

There's also a moment where Jimmy says "I think I might need you" to which Martyn goes "is this you confessing your love to me?" and then they do this bit where they act out the chief talking to them "you can love who you want to love. As long as you do your job right". So basically the chief is validating gay marriage. Awesome

Anyway, Jimmy at several points gets told off by Martyn because he's "fine" and doesn't need Jimmy following him around but what else is he gonna do… you cant just leave him on the street like a lost puppy…

At one point in the SMP, they all get together to take on the ender dragon (after which Grian left). Unfortunately, they don't end up in one End dimension and instead, they all have to fight the Enderdragon by themselves. Jimmy does fantastic. He's very focused and gets it done in spite of a few struggles. He even says "those endermen made me so angry. I haven't been so angry in awhile" when it really didn't show that he was THAT angry when a bunch of them piled on him. He stayed focused and finished the job... Sigh. He can be so confident and competent and good, if only he didn't get played down so frequently just for often getting excited and tunnel visioned easily...

It's implied that the others thought he was gone for good when Jimmy finally made it back to the overworld after some... bliss in the great void? Of course he starts asking himself about Martyn and expressing hope that Martyn's alive. He and Martyn eventually communicate here and there but still don't meet up for awhile longer. Jimmy for this time period is surviving pretty much independently, and even when Martyn starts turning up in his episodes more again, there's much less of Jimmy following Martyn around like he used to, and I think Martyn took note. It feels like he took note that Jimmy no longer depended on him and kinda fucked off a little bit. This would carry over to stuff like 3L as reasoning for why Martyn acted the way he did towards Jimmy? Evidently caring about him yet pushing him away, even after Jimmy asked to join him, even after Martyn himself told Jimmy that he thought Scott was using him

(Headcanony here, but I still jive with the idea that there was some kind of watcher/listener/Evo members confrontation at the end that forced that world to come to an end, from which Jimmy and Pearl were spared as they went on to quickly be part of new worlds unlike the others. And then some of them eventually returning like Martyn, but not Netty, and the idea that Martyn now holds some kind of resentment towards Jimmy for not having gone through that and never being able to understand how Martyn feels, in spite of still caring about Jimmy, having wanted to spare him from whatever went down to begin with. This, combined with him seeing Jimmy become more independent, when Jimmy was always waiting for him and wanted to make him proud for surviving on his own, and missed and needed him even if Martyn doesn't think so. This will be reinforced at later points here too)

1.2 Martyn's lack of trust in Jimmy and Jimmy's self-deprecation

Apparently whenever Jimmy's on the server without Martyn, he just becomes a troublemaker and Martyn goes "I don't trust you half the time", granted, lightheartedly, but this notion will keep being repeated. His first reaction to the property police being faulted for anything, or Jimmy being hesitant with telling him something, is to assume and accuse Jimmy of messing something up. Eg when there is a scene resembling a protest built outside their base, Jimmy questions what they've done to be opposed, to which Martyn goes "What have YOU done?". This leads to/deepens Jimmy's need to prove himself to be good and competent, and his hesitancy to let Martyn know/fear of Martyn finding out when he's messed something up

Jimmy gets himself utterly blown up by Grian's prank, Martyn's not there so he goes "guys, you cannot tell Morty (Martyn), he will kill me". He sounds genuinely pretty upset too "I don't- I don't know anymore." He's not even nice to their current dog, with him walking around pretty aimlessly before going to their dog who's standing up and repeatedly trying to make it sit, sternly saying "Sit down, sit down." when previously he's shown a lot of affection towards their dogs (though honestly uncertain how much of it has been totally genuine when he has also joked about a dog dying before it can be nametagged and stuff)

Martyn's not around and look what happens - exactly what Martyn has drilled in. Of course Jimmy is flustered and upset, and of course he doesn't want Martyn to know- for Martyn to comment again about his lack of trust in him by his lonesome, or about his unsuitability for his job as a cop. It only makes sense that Jimmy comes to believe he's incapable of handling himself alone and that he needs to rely on someone. It's only natural he follows Scott around in 3L without question when Scott doesn't trust him to something. It's only natural that even with Tango, at the start of DL, he voices concern to Bdubs that he's afraid Tango will yell at him for having done a bad job begging for resources. (Ofc Tango doesn't but it's really fucking sad!! That Jimmy's been conditioned to consider that!!)

Another example of "Jimmy's incompetency" is when Jimmy's dog has been taken hostage for awhile, but they find it almost instantly when Martyn comes back on. Jimmy says he needed the dog to keep him company and expresses a lot of grievance over the dog's living condition in the hole it was kept in, while Martyn questions if he even put in that much of an effort to try and find it. They joke about and Jimmy agrees to him not doing well on his own. (Also I'm not sure what to take away from the fact that the dog was kept in oddly good conditions and Jimmy still feeling bad for the dog...? Aside from the lack of sunlight ofc, it had room and water and a bed)

At some point (spoken more of in the Netty section), Jimmy gives Netty all his resources he gathered from their mining trip together and then asks "did you get a picture? Did you get a picture of that?". Naturally Netty comments on his need to immortalize his good deeds but you can't blame the guy when the people around him, especially his best pal Martyn, keep calling him a bad cop and not trusting him to be good when he's left alone. It makes sense for Jimmy to want proof of him being good to show Martyn...

Start of Evo ep 46, Salems says in chat something along the lines of "be good now Jimmy, no one's here to watch over you" to which Jimmy replies "I'm always good tyvm!!" And then proceeds to praise himself for the rest of the episode despite having difficulty dealing with the property police station being flooded. Eg sees that he has a bucket in one of his chests and going "Good job Jim good job" etc. He's trying so hard and then turns around to see more water and goes "this makes me sad" :(

(It was genuinely really bad lol this image does not do it justice)

Jimmy's self deprecation is also present in Evo even when it's not being brought on by anyone else, only himself. Eg under the video in which he got miserably blown up by Grian's prank, he has his pinned comment: "I was excited okay. I did not see the plates, don't ruin the comment section! Thank you. I am a noob though. HA!" and at the start of a different episode, Jimmy says to the audience "You didn't miss me, did ya? I know you didn't miss me" :(

There's also the time where he, Martyn and Netty do a race all individually and in the end it's revealed that Jimmy was the last one by a second and he repeatedly goes "oh wow so funny let's laugh (mock laughter)". Something about this one... Sure they joked about him coming last a few times through the episode but that felt kind of out of left field. Why is he so mocking... why are you being so SO mean to yourself Jimmy...

Jimmy is pretty frequently insisting on being a good cop even when the situation doesn't call for it because "people have been having a go at me lately". This notion of Jimmy being a bad cop extends further yet when Martyn's mayor campaign begins

1.3 Martyn's mayor arc, Jimmy's reinforced unsuitability and getting caught in the crossfire

Martyn runs for mayor, during which Jimmy is unwaveringly backing him, ofc. Following him around, propping him up... At one point Martyn even says "You're the best run-in partner I could've asked for"

But then things start falling apart and Martyn starts to a go a little bit mad. He wants to give up and Jimmy is basically pleading with him saying stuff like "but I've done so much to back to you" but Martyn's not hearing it "You've done nothing". (what a switch from that last paragraph lol)

Back to the Property Police station being flooded - Jimmy was openly supporting Martyn's mayor campaign but he didn't cause any of the destruction during the fallout when Martyn gave up. It was all Martyn and in retaliation the property police base has been significantly flooded and plastered with vines and Jimmy's the one to have to clean it all up. This doesn't get acknowledged (in Jimmy's POV at least). This is also very true in other SMPs like X Life, that Jimmy largely suffers due to no bad actions of his own but rather the crossfire of others'

It's always Martyn being on break... It's always Jimmy saying "the chief gave him days off!" and Martyn saying "I need a break from you and everything". Has anyone considered maybe Jimmy needs a little break too.. Has anyone considered that Jimmy also feels bad for not having his efforts recognized... He's always there to prop Martyn up to largely get deprecated in return in spite of everything he does (and isn't that a familiar theme with Jimmy...)

Anyway, next episode Martyn's back and Jimmy wants to show him something nice he made for him for being torn up about the mayor thing, but Martyn's immediate reaction is "what did you do!?". Well, the nice thing Jimmy made was a padded cell and he trapped Martyn in there for a bit for having gone a little mad lol

Martyn for a short period of time ends up becoming mayor anyway, during which he hits and berates Jimmy quite a bit (clenches fist) and reasons why Jimmy would always be second in charge at most because people don't want him as mayor. They do this whole bit where Jimmy replaces all the previous signs directed towards Tatiz (the last mayor) for them to say nice things about Martyn instead cause it's not like anyone's gonna know they're all just done by Jimmy... and then Martyn doesn't even let him into the office and punches him and Jimmy fake sniffles away

Martyn has another meltdown over the Watchers being against him becoming mayor, though Jimmy's still supporting him through it even as Martyn's playing him down. At the very end of the episode, Martyn jumps down a well when he says he's gonna go sleep so Jimmy's like "oh. Don't drown, we still need you" and Martyn sounds genuinely kind of gut-wrenchingly defeated when he replies "apparently not". Good time to remember Martyn's pride in feeling needed

Next time Martyn's on, he's on a quest to exile himself, saying he's going to find the next portal and leave and never come back. Jimmy is valiantly following him around and basically pleading for him to stay and that they need him (I think it's just you Jimmy... it's you who needs him...). Him saying "we've been on the force for 9 years, does that not mean anything to you?" makes for a painful parallel to Martyn accusing Jimmy of not caring about property police in 3L... Paraphrasing a bit, but the back and forth between Martyn and Jimmy: "You can explain to Netty why I'm leaving. I didn't want to explain to anyone but you've forced it on me. I'm happy to leave, everything's fine" - "Alright, fine. Fine, I accept it, no I accept it, I'm coming to wave goodbye" - "You coming with me, or?" - "No, I'm not leaving all this behind, but I'll come wave goodbye". Even with Jimmy giving up or having implied giving up on trying to convince Martyn to stay, he still wants to follow him, to at least say goodbye... Jimmy also says he's tearing up as Martyn's digging down to the stronghold where he plans to make his exit. Martyn drops into the stronghold with a bunch of mobs though and Jimmy goes "yess kill him, kill him!" (because that'd bring Martyn back to spawn and halt his self exile) before jumping down and helping defend Martyn anyway... Ultimately Martyn fails because the portal isn't even there and he dies to a creeper. Later, when Martyn's back, this is largely treated as a bad dream and that Martyn was just in a daze

I'm not sure exactly where this thought started but at some point Jimmy starts to express having to become mayor himself (and then at a later point, as mentioned above, Martyn explaining why people would never want him as a mayor). Jimmy says things like "I'm gonna end up being the mayor aren't I?" when things get tentative and unstable with Martyn, and "I reckon anything that comes - if a situation comes along again where someone has to take charge and i-in- lead and vote for something or even go for something... think Pete Bills should take it- I think Pete Bills should take it, and, you know... Give his best shot"

This is significant to me because Jimmy wanting to be in any kind of leading role, but never managing it, is a theme that comes up frequently in his POVs. Jimmy is already treated as being at the bottom of some player perceived hierarchy, and as such constantly teased and played down, which naturally, for the others, makes it unlikely if not absurd for him to be in leadership positions, and this imo carries over to his relationships

He hardly has authority and when he tries to enforce it, he gets disregarded, discouraged and/or made fun of, eg in ESMP2. He hardly if ever gets authority in 3L FH (flower husbands), or ESMP2 fWhimmy, or, Evo Solidwood to an extent. The whole mayor deal is very resemblant of what would go on to happen in X Life too. Where Jimmy is happy to be part of "Jeremyism" with Joel as the leader, though he enforces very little power, but when that position is about to be handed over to Scott, Jimmy desperately tries to get himself to be the leader instead, and upon failing, begs Joel to retain his position, only to end up following Scott's lead anyway without further vocal protest

Jimmy taking charge, in relationships or otherwise, almost always gets shut down. Pensive

1.4 Martyn's also kind to Jimmy though...

But then there are times like Martyn showing concern towards his wellbeing, voicing fear of him hurting himself, saying things like "I was worried you hurt yourself"

There are times like Salem cornering Jimmy and Martyn going "Salem, back it up, go back a few blocks, get away from him". Times like them talking about food and Jimmy says he's the priority so he should eat. Martyn naturally questions it and then chases him around for a bit, threatening to hit him, but then throws him the food anyway without arguing against it...

Something about Martyn not being entirely against the padded cell that Jimmy made for and trapped him in briefly. Martyn willingly goes in there when "he's had a thought" and says for Jimmy to trust him to stay in there even though one of the doors is broken and keeps opening. Something about Jimmy's ideas being given a chance and made use of even when its. a fucking padded cell

There's an episode that starts with Martyn calling Jimmy upset and a loser as is not at all unusual (grrr) but then he goes all soft "How you doing, you alright? Sorry I've been away" and all I can do is shake my fist, unable to quite punch him. There's something here about Martyn struggling to express affection, really well showcased in the bread incident too, without having a go at Jimmy first as if it were a balance that he needs to keep in check, rather than being nice to Jimmy just... because.

There's a trap they build, mostly Martyn, and he claims "Jimmy was such a big support" and Jimmy naturally goes "I didn't really do much" but all Martyn replies is "well its this kind of trap that having two people work on it would have been difficult..." thank you for validating Jimmy and not making a joke out of him for "doing less"

There's this kind of respect towards Jimmy here largely absent from a lot of other people in other SMPs...

Jimmy shushing Martyn and Martyn actually shuts up. Wow basic decency and respect towards my son !!! Jimmy suggests a viewer suggested bevarage name for their little pub thing, and Martyn says it's bad, but when Jimmy reinforces a little later that he thought it was good, Martyn encourages him to put up a sign for it anyway.

It's not just Jimmy who's being accused of having done something etc. Jimmy's also more assertive towards Martyn and asking him if he's sure he's not done anything bad. And also holding Martyn accountable. This is largely a saving grace for Solidwood to me as opposed to some other Jimmy relationships in select SMPs because it goes both ways here even if still in uneven portions...

There's also Jimmy's antics being played into it as opposed to being disregarded or made fun of. A lot of it tends to be turned back around to making fun of Jimmy and then that's it, that's the joke, but with Martyn, he participates in the jokes. Jimmy can just ask for silly stuff or be silly and Martyn will easily go along or provide without knocking him or anything. Jimmy "can I get a cool intro please" and Martyn will just do it without question. The whole thing they had with Evo news (genuinely please go watch this one tiny animatic of one of their "Evo News" segments on Jimmy's channel, it's so adorable). Or whatever other cringy joke bits they do. Mmgh I just wish this was the case with more people than just Martyn

This kind of stuff, a lot of the time does still involve teasing Jimmy, but it's fun... It's not just fun on Jimmy's expense, it's fun that involves him, and that makes this endlessly more enjoyable to me than the "lol Jimmy is incompetent and stupid and deserves no rights" jokes with no further nuance to them. Those do very much appear in Evo still, and do hurt me, although I see no harm to them as long as they're less frequent and as such don't become fully stale after the first few times, but at least it's not. coughempiresseason2cough cough.

Idk where else to put this but Martyn and Jimmy start the "Property Police" bit in episode 2 already and it goes on for pretty much the entire series. They both adopt specific names for it though. Jimmy decides on “Pete Bills” but it’s mostly just him who ever uses it. Martyn picks “Morty” and Jimmy continues calling Martyn that for the entire series. Kind of cute of them to have nicknames for one another, Morty and Timmy respectively, even if it was Grian who started the Timmy bit

1.5 Setting Jimmy up for failure

This kind of casual hitting and deprecation from Martyn is what I think leads to Jimmy's further minimization and need of dependency, which I brought into question way back at the start. While Property Police is largely pretty carefree and accountability and such isn't always one-sided and can go both ways, there are so many things to point to in retrospect as frontrunners for repeating themes in how Jimmy gets treated by others, and how he views himself. A lot of Martyn's treatment of Jimmy both within and after Evo make me grit my teeth but there's these saving factors... Where Martyn evidently does really care, and he'll at least sometimes express as much... What gets in the way is his tendency to be hot-headed and selfish, and skewed in his ways of affection and pride

It's so fucked up how Jimmy's led to believe to have been at fault for so many things that happen to him through all the deprecation and reinforcement of him being the worst player of the bunch. How when he apologizes, no one tells him he's no need to.

Before one of the portal hops, when everyone’s having a meeting to switch versions, someone trapped Jimmy in 4 Iron doors (idk who, Jimmy cut it out) but Grian goes "don’t worry I have a way to get you out of there" and blows the doors up with TNT. He then asks Jimmy to clean it up and Jimmy's all "sorry I'll clean it up" and he keeps apologizing. Another time when Jimmy loses a race in evo and Mini punches him "you're stupid, Jimmy, you're stupid, you should have won that race" to which Jimmy briefly flees before going back to him to apologize (doesn't that sound familiar...grrr)

It started with Martyn, who Jimmy followed around, supported, needed and missed, and then X Life Joel (Jeremyism) and then 3L Scott etc. Jimmy doesn't need to depend on anyone, that's just how his fucked up love life and expectations of affection (and when whether or not he deserves any) have gone, cause I feel the need to reinforce that Jimmy is very good and capable, he is!! If the damn Enderdragon fight is anything to go by if nothing else!! He should start murdering people!! Anyway

Appropriate time to think again about Martyn, in 3L, voicing concern over Scott slapping Jimmy around, when he has also admitted to using Jimmy ("Sometimes I feel that you use me" - "I 100% do")

For further similarities, few times Martyn scolded Jimmy, like when Jimmy accidentally kills Martyn at one point with a single pickaxe swipe and Martyn scolds him like "alright, now you get back on the surface, bring all my stuff back to me" and Jimmy can only stutter and make a few whimpers. His “How were you on that low H- How… Hmph :(“... I want someone to hold Jimmy so badly you don’t understand... or the time Jimmy and Martyn were standing by the blaze spawner to get double spawning rate, when for some reason Jimmy decides to leave and take a little gander alone at which Martyn very angrily goes "did you just leave? You can't do that! Are you guys seeing this teamwork??". He's getting scolded... No blazes were spawning and he got anxious and needed to go for a walk Martyn it's okay...

Also like. He lived and slept in the same room as Jimmy all throughout. Something about Jimmy only ever being part of at least SOMEWHAT nice relationships when he's sleeping together with that person and not alone. coughs

2. Jimmy and Netty (and Martyn) thoughts

Seeing as Netty's skin is a bush baby and she built a treehouse, I'm still sticking with the headcanon that little Martyn and Jimmy just found this creature (Netty) in the woods one day. Anyway

Martyn, Jimmy and Netty are on a goose chase and I found it really cute how they came across a decent water crossing, Martyn asks Netty in chat "boats or swim?" meanwhile Jimmy is already swimming off and Netty doesnt answer and just jumps in after Jimmy. He and Netty also fall down the exact same hole simultaneously later, it’s adorable.

When they make it to where the new portal is, Netty hits Jimmy into some water, to which Jimmy of course shakes his fist, and then later Netty accidentally nudged him to his death by fall. Jimmy said she will pay for her crimes, but it was an accident Jimmy... she didn't mean it that time... And then Netty's slowly crawling towards Jimmy with her head down, occasionally looking up with puppydog eyes no doubt. You know the cubito body language. But Jimmy's just shaking his head at her.... Jimmy feels bad though, I think, so he went up to her but she thought he was going to attack and ran away

Jimmy POV vs Netty POV (yeah I don't blame her for getting scared lol) Jimmy's disappointed though and says "I'm done with her" :(

In a later episode, Jimmy is helping Netty gather resources for her library. They go mining together, both having very little to their name and almost no torches, Jimmy mistakenly asks Netty for sticks before realizing he already has plenty but Netty gives him hers anyway and they rejoice and laugh about it... She also says "in real life I would actually trust you with my life but in Evo I do not want anything to do with you, you are too mischievous". Because this mentions the CCs specifically, and I'm strictly talking about characters, I'm not gonna think about it much but idk, I like that Netty's reasoning is "You're too mischevious" and they're just laughing about it. Netty's and Jimmy's banter in general is just really cute. There's a point where she's saying "Stop trying to make that a thing!" in response to Jimmy using this phrase "fan dabi dozi" with his own little inflection and when Jimmy asks "does it irritate you?" she says no, it makes her laugh. It's something about the way Netty does very much tease Jimmy but there's much less maliciousness in it than there is for some other people doing the same. She's not as quick to fault or accuse him, and she's quicker to laugh things off in unison and not at Jimmy

When they're done mining, Jimmy offers and gives her all the resources that he mined, to Netty's very genuine surprise though. Jimmy reasons "that's the whole reason I came with you" and like, yeah, he's right, this was established lol, but still... He's not being taken for granted... Netty didn't just assume he'd hand his resources over... And then Netty's New Years resolution is "to make Jimmy be less mean" ???? Netty.......

In spite of the few hiccups that I find hard to excuse though, Netty's attitude towards Jimmy is very similar to Martyn's when he's being nice. Basically what I already said a paragraph ago. Their banter is largely cute (when it involves Martyn, too, they make for a very fun and cute trio) and she spends the last episode with Jimmy and Pearl and it's very bittersweet

Other Jimmy things

There's a bit they do at the beginning of an episode where Jimmy attempts to propose marriage to Martyn. "Oh my god you need to see this, you need to see this, basically I've been... I've been thinking a lot lately and um-" - "Mate I'm already taken" (Martyn whips out the rose that Netty gave him early on and that he's kept in his hotbar ever since (mad cute btw))

At the very start of the SMP, Jimmy and Martyn immediately run off together and they're very sweet but anyway when Jimmy finds his first iron, he calls Martyn over to remember the occasion. Martyn then whips out 3 iron like “oops I already got some” but. Something about Jimmy treasuring the moment like that… Something about him and resources…

Jimmy is also claustrophobic apparently, with Martyn commenting about feeling bad about making him crawl through a tight space although Jimmy says it's fine. I'm just... thinking about 3L FH... their secure, claustrophobic base at the edge of the world away from everyone else... and Jimmy's few attempts of reaching out... Jimmy..... sorry this isn't about 3L uhhh

When Netty questions why Jimmy's bad at handling Creepers, he says "it's my parents"?? With the previous implication that the "chief" figure is Jimmy's dad, did the chief not teach him how to fight... This is kinda funny but also kinda sad because it makes me think of him being treated as the runt of the litter and no more, he was not the favorite child...

Zee throughout Evo is in direct opposition of the property police, being one of the two members of the mafia. He's responsible for doing and helping in many pranks aimed against the property police. In spite of this, near the end of the SMP, when he has reason to be upset with Jimmy, he's ultimately pretty nice about it... Jimmy's been stealing all his chickens from his chicken farm and not leaving any for Zee, but even then Zee is not that confrontational with him about it... Jimmy tries to derail, Zee catches on, Jimmy insists whilst also admitting to it and Zee's like "haha ok go on". Jimmy also tried to kill him but Zee caught on and killed him instead, but because it was with lava and all of Jimmy's stuff burned as a result (including all of Zee's TNT that he'd just stolen), Zee felt bad and gave him all the diamonds he had... Zee has 3 reasons to be upset with Jimmy, and Jimmy is usually the runt of the litter, the punching bag, and yet... Thank you Zee for being relatively kind to my son

Hello insane person for reaching this point. When my life series merch is ready I will start giving people like you discount codes at the ends of these posts. wink10 for 10% off. Remember it. Go read my X Life Jimmy thoughts too if you haven't. please

#blabber #jimmy solidarity #solidwood #property police #evo smp

[itsjaywalkers]

hi my sweet lil buttercup laurie 💕 i have an odd question for you and i need to dig into ur brain and it is a lil nsfw but when it comes to jegulus, how would you see them if one of them worked as a phone sex operator? like who would be the person to make the call and who would be on the other end? like what are your headcanons on this and do you think they'd meet each other irl etc?

hi india my darling angel <333 sorry i didn't reply yesterday, i spent the morning getting tattooed with my sister AND THEN the afternoon and the evening at work.. but i'm finally here and ready to give u anything u want <3

i could see them both being the phone sex operator and viceversa, it all depends on the situation and how u decide to write/portray them!! however, i have a harder time picturing reg calling a sex line, unless it's like . for a bet . and i don't see him agreeing easily to a bet like that yk??

so to me, it'd be reg being a phone sex operator!! probably doing it either to earn some extra cash after he's been disinherited and doing odd jobs OR desperate for money and not wanting to rely on his brother/friends!! i think he was . very awkward at first and had no idea of how to do it, so he had to research/practise a lot and regrettably . ask barty for help, which would result on barty making fun of him until the end of times while also using it as an excuse for them to start hooking up again. but it's okay bc barty does give him really good advice in between it all

after he becomes more comfortable and gets the hang of it, i feel like reg would reply to calls while he's doing other shit around his flat or in his room yk?? he's sporting the most deadpan expression known to mankind while he fake moans in some stranger's ear and reorganises his books. he's unaffected and doesn't really care, this is just his job and he's only focused on doing it well enough to earn money

james would call at some point!! it can be either as a joke, bc of a bet, or even bc he's been broken up with recently and in a bit of a dry spell and just . trying something new bc he saw a leaflet for it or bc someone recommended it. i think he'd be nervous and be awkward during the first call but in a very charming way, and reg would find it endearing + he'd be quite into james' voice (which is the thing that would call his attention in the first place)

i doubt anything would actually happen during the first call!! they'd just talk and tease and banter, until reg realises their time's up and he hasn't given james the services he advertises for. he apologises profusely, offers another try, but james assures him it's completely fine and pays him anyway

next time james calls, it's with the attention to just . speak to reg again . bc he had a lot of fun and he's already a bit obsessed with his accent and how witty he turned out to be, but when reg realises who it is, he's on a Mission to do his fucking job and keep this man from getting him sidetracked

james is little confused about why reg's attitude changed all of a sudden, but after pushing slightly and getting no results, he supposes that he might as well get off to this yk?? it's the reason why he called in the first place, after all

reg starts doing what he always does, waiting for james to get all hot and bothered, except james realises quickly that what reg is saying is very . robotic and script-like and . generic . so it's not doing much for him. he mentions it, they start bickering, which turns into fighting, until reg snaps and retorts with something along the lines of . as if u could do it better etc etc

as u can imagine, james takes it personally

i won't get into a lot of detail, bc this ask is already ridiculously long, but they do end up having phone sex AND getting off. james kinda takes the reins and manages to coax reg out of his shell + finds out about what turns him on along the way. reg finally gets to let go and enjoy this whole phone sex thing and james gets what he was looking for (and more, bc he never expected it to be so into it or find it so hot)

the rest of their calls would go on a similar fashion, even if james is always the one calling and reg always begins their calls trying to . retain control and do his fucking job

and i like to think they'd meet irl at some point??? they move in similar circles, they have sirius in common etc etc. even in a situation in which reg and sirius are completely estranged, sirius could end up reaching during the story, or they find out they live in the same neighbourhood. or, well, as a bartylily stan, i could also see both friend groups coming together (sort of) bc barty and lily start seeing each other. i also think they'd recognise each other by voice alone and have a breakdown about it. i think reg would notice immediately bc of his kink with james' voice and i think james would take a bit longer and be so chill while reg is losing his mind (only on the inside tho). and then reg would say something, like an specific word or . turn of phrase and it'd click for james!! he'd be ecstatic and trying to get reg alone bc this is like . his dream scenario while reg runs away from him lmao

#and those are my thoughts on the subject!! #i didn't know i had so much to say about this i'm very surprised #and embarrassed for giving u such a long and rambly reply.. #idk if this is what u were hoping for.. but i hope u still liked it beloved <333 #MWAH #asks #india tag <3

[doe-eyed-fool]

Prey | Chapter Seven

Alastor x Fem!Reader

Warning(s): Mentions Of Murder

The silence, was worst than rejection. This was a mistake. Probably the biggest mistake you've ever made. Of course Alastor wouldn't feel the same. You two had been friends for a long time. If he really felt the same way towards you, he would have done something by now. Wouldn't he?

Then again, Alastor had never shown much interest in relationships of the romantic type. You've not once heard him talk of a special lady in his life. And he most certainly could have any of them. So maybe it just wasn't meant to be...

"I-I'm sorry! I don't know why I asked that!" You say with a light laugh. "I mean, I know you like me. We're friends after all. That was a silly question, I'm sorry..." You try to blink back the tears forming in your eyes as you continued.

"Um, I think I'll be alright by myself for now. You can leave, I'll be fine." You motion your hand to the door and turn away from him. "I really should get to tidying up the place. It's a mess, like I said. And anyhow, I should be focusing on what I'm going to sing for my next performance. Can't be distracted, so if you'll please-"

Alastor caught your hand and spun you back to face him. "Y/n." He said firmly. You go quiet and avoid his eyes. Great. Not only had you confessed and gotten rejected, if that wasn't embarrassing enough, you just made a fool of yourself by rambling on like an idiot.

There were no hiding the tears now. You inwardly sigh and await for the worst.

"It seems you've misunderstood me." Said Alastor. Yes. You know that. You are more than painfully aware. Why did he have to rub it in? "And it seems I've been less than gentlemanly. What kind of man treats a woman on like I have been?"

Wait, what? You glance at him, a bit confused. Alastor sighs. "Y/n, I'm sure you know how I feel about these kinds of things. Romance and all that. So, I'm sure you also understand how this might feel for me, indulging in such things."

Now you were really confused. You face him properly. "What are you saying?" You ask. "I do like you, Y/n, to put it simply." Alastor says, making your heart stop for a moment. "It's just a shame I couldn't, and still cant, tell or show you properly."

"Alastor..."

"Why must it be me?" Alastor asks. "Has there be no one else that's caught your eye?" Your expression soften. "No." You says simply. "It's always been you. I'm not sure if anyone could compare, to someone like you."

"Someone like me..." Alastor repeats under his breath. He shook his head with a light chuckle. "Y/n, I don't think you understand just what you're asking for. 'Someone like me'...I can be...a bit much. You know that."

"Yes." You nod. "And I'm fine with that. There are so many great things about you Alastor. I'd be talking all day long just listing it all off. It's just...I don't want to ruin this. Us. You've been more than an amazing friend to me all these years. I don't want my emotions getting in the way of that."

"We have been friends for a while, yes." Alastor smiles softly. "Nothing will ever change my view of you, my care for you Y/n. Nothing. And as I've already said, I do like you."

"Do you?" You ask sadly. "Maybe I'm just mistaking your care for love. Maybe you are too." You try to move your hand away from his. It was too good to be true.

And yet, Alastor didn't budge. "That is entirely my fault." He says. "It was a constant back and forth with myself. A part of me wanted to give in, and the other, wanted to keep you at an arms length..."

"So...Which is it?" You ask. The uncertainty was worse than flat out rejection. Suddenly, you felt Alastor pull you close. "I'd love nothing more, than to give in." He says softly. The two of you were but inches from each other.

"Then why don't you?" You ask. Alastor's eyes glanced down at your lips for a split second, before trailing back to your eyes. Maybe it was build up from years of longing for Alastor that made you so bold.

You leaned up to kiss him gently. It was short and sweet, only lasting for a few seconds, before you pulling back to figure out his reaction.

You weren't parted long, before Alastor pulled you back in for a deeper, longer lasting kiss. Your chest felt like it was filled with butterflies and a soft warmth. You wrapped your arms around his neck, a soft sigh left you.

After a moment, you part once again. "By the way." You start. "Your charm has always worked on me."

Luck truly must have been on your side. Not only were you able to confess to the man you loved for years, and he return the feeling, but your career as a singer was really taking off. You were bringing in crowds of people any night you were preforming.

Mimzy would be the only person more happy about it than you, as it did wonders for her lounge getting more and more popular. Oh, and the money that was made from it too, of course.

But she wasn't the only one getting paid. For once, you were finally able to make a decent check. You had enough money for necessities and some extra spending money to have some fun with.

Before, any amount of money you made went right towards rent and food. But now, you didn't have to worry about keeping the lights on, or making sure you had something to eat at the end of the day.

You're weren't rich, but you had money to live off of now. And honestly, you might as well consider yourself rich, knowing that. 

More than the money though, you just enjoyed singing. You loved lighting up the room when you walked out on stage, hearing the applause of the crowd, the music in your ears, and of course, singing your heart out. 

And to top it all off, you were finally able to be with the man you loved. Being Alastor's partner was a dream. He was there for you, to hold your hand, to keep you close.

Never a day went by, where you not loved and appreciated. Even though a week had gone by, you still felt as giddy as the day he accepted your feelings. Yes, nothing could bring your mood down.

Except for maybe one thing...

"Oh my gosh..." You say under your breath, as you read over the news article for the third time. "Alastor, have you read this?" You ask, holding up the newspaper slightly.

You were over at Alastor's home this morning, as he offered to make breakfast for you the previous evening. And you weren't about to pass up that kind of offer.

"Afraid not, dear. Haven't gotten the chance to sit down and look it over yet." Alastor says as he turns off the stove. "What's it say?" He asks.

You look at the article again, furrowing your brows in grimace as you read. The article read of mysterious blood stains in an alleyway downtown, as well as a few strands of hair. So far, the police have no leads to what happened, or any potential suspects. 

Alastor froze a moment before speaking. "Are you sure that's not another fake article, to spark panic or interest? You know, there's been quite a few of those lately. Seems some will do anything to catch the attention of the easily fooled." 

"I don't think so Alastor." You mutter. "It seems pretty serious. Who could have done such a thing?" Alastor joined your side, sitting down at the table. "I'm sure it's fine. Perhaps some drunkard fell and injured himself. Or it could have been a disagreement between two people, that got out of hand."

"That's what I'm afraid of." You tell him. "Do you...Do you think it might have been a murder?" You say quietly. Alastor took your hands with his. "No dear, I don't think so. This side of the city hasn't had a crime that serious in a while. There's nothing to worry about." 

"But, it's still a scary thought. That something like that could have happened..." You say, not wanting to think too hard about it. "Well." Alastor starts. "If, and I do mean if, something like that were to happen. You won't need to worry yourself about it. And do you know why?"

"Why?" You ask. Alastor took one of your hands and raised it to his lips, he kissed it before speaking again. "Because you have me to keep you safe. Nothing will harm you as long as I'm around, dearest." 

A small smile found it's way onto your face. "I know. You always have protected me, Alastor." 

"And I always will." Alastor says with a soft smile. "Now, let's not have this food getting cold." 

A potential murder, one would have to admit, can inspire a man such as Alastor to speak on the topic. He can't let the papers get all the attention, now could he? Though, perhaps he would have to fight for the attention, had this accident gone unnoticed...

Oh well. He was in need of new things to talk about on his radio show anyhow. 

"Good evening all! It's your beloved radio host, Alastor Thompson here to give you all another outstanding broadcast, for you eager listeners. How about we jump on the topic that's gotten everyone in a tizzy." Alastor leans forward slightly in his chair, his grin ever present, even when alone in his studio. 

"A potential murder case, and the unknown suspect still in hiding!" He begins. "The location of the victim's body is unknown." Alastor says lowly, to amplify the intensity. "No leads on a potential suspect either. Yes, this is quite the tricky case indeed. Careful on your way home tonight folks." He chuckles. 

"Now, onto a lighter subject!" 

Honestly. A mistake like that was unforgivable. The fool deserved to be locked up for that alone. It was like he was trying to get caught. 

However, it was almost worth it. 

Alastor's grin grows sinister as he recalled that night. That horrid man's screams, the fear in his eyes, and the pitiful last breath he took. Alastor had finally gotten rid of him. Now his beloved would have nothing to fret about. But he'd be lying if he said he didn't do it for himself too. 

He wanted to kill that man the moment he had the misfortune of meeting him. And that day he dared to put his filthy hands on you only amplified that want. The world was better off, without people like him around anyhow. 

As delighted as it made him feel, that mistake could have ruined everything. It's bad enough you were worried by it, but if you were to ever find out about his...hobbies, there is no doubt that you'd leave him. 

And he knew it. And so, mistakes like this will never happen again on his watch. 

The tension among folks would only rise when there was an official missing person case out in the open. A local owner of a small diner had mysteriously disappeared without a trace. Cops weren't the only ones linking the disappearance to the scene in that alleyway. 

And despite law enforcements best efforts, there was no calming the every growing concern among the people. 

Especially you. You hated the fact that your former boss might have been murdered, as much as you disliked the man. No one deserves that. But you couldn't allow yourself to stay frightened, you had a show coming up. You couldn't allow your nerves to get the better of you and ruin that night. 

Besides, you had Alastor to keep you safe. And as long as he was around, there would be nothing for you to fear.

Tags-

@martinys-world

#hazbin hotel #alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor x reader

[ckret2]

If you don't mind my asking, what is your outlining process like? Is it a bulleted list of scenes, or paragraphs describing what you want to happen? How thorough is it, and how much do you just figure out as you go? I'm about to attempt to write a truly longform fanfic for the first time, and I've been a fan of yours long enough that I feel you probably have some sage wisdom on the matter.

You know what, I get this question with some regularity, so instead of trying to remember how I explained it last time, I'll just drop one of my outlines so I can link this the next time someone asks. Here's my full outline for chapters 33/34/35. Copy/pasted from my plotting sessions in discord with my writing buddies.

This is in two parts. The first part is my actual outline, which I ALWAYS had open while actually writing the chapters—I recommend open my outline and the finish chapters side-by-side so you can see just how closely the chapter follows the outline. My outline is VERY LONG and VERY DETAILED, down to exactly what happens in the conversations; this is because I've found that, for me, "write out THE ENTIRE chapter WITH all actions & dialogue (but writing it super badly)" + "writing the chapter well (but not needing to think about actions & dialogue AT ALL") is much, much faster than "do a simple outline (but figure out the action, dialogue, and how to write it well all at once)".

And the second part is a bunch of snippets from other plotting sessions where I was figuring out how to fit the tooth fairy arc into the whole fic, so you can see how I work on overarching plot lines.

Anywhere there's a "####" divider is a separation between different plotting sessions on different days. Anywhere text is in "[brackets]" it's either a paraphrase of something one of my writing buddies said (I don't post direct quotes publicly) or some kind of note to myself.

####

[This part is my actual outline I used to write the chapters]

So! Stan's having breakfast. Bill comes into the kitchen, plops down, "gooood morning—" "go away."

"Haha funny. Anyway! I need you to take me to your dentist." "No. I took you to the mall, you almost made my niece cry, my brother left a Shopliftaholics Anonymous flier on my bed, and all I got out of is was a crummy ring. You wanna go anywhere, talk to Soos."

Nope, it's gotta be Stan. (he doesn't wanna hang out with that loser Soos anyway.) Bill's trying to get fillings, and Stan's dentist does them for free.

Which is true, but it's weird that Bill knows that. Stan's dentist is some weirdo operating out of a back alley, with a weird pay structure. He charges normal dentist rates for regular dental maintenance, but he does gold fillings for free, and he'll pay YOU if he needs to pull your teeth. He's great! Stan hasn't had to pay for dental care in thirty years! Stan also wears dentures now, but hey, at least they were free.

So, since it's Stan's dentist, he's the only one who can take Bill. Stan sees where Bill's coming from; but he says no, because he doesn't wanna.

Okay, bill's gonna try another tact.

Stan, Bill is a simple creature. A simple creature who's used to being coated tip to base in a thin layer of pure, lustrous, 24 karat gold. Having skin makes his skin crawl. He doesn't *need* any dental work done, his teeth are fine, but he'd really, *really* like to have just a *bit* of gold, *somewhere* on his body, so he feels a *little* more like himself in his final days. (you're losing my sympathy by the second, cipher.) ... And then once he's dead, he supposes he'll be leaving behind a corpse with a mouthful of free gold that whoever's disposing of his remains can do whatever they want with, do you catch his meaning Stanley?

That's absolutely *disgusting.* ... But okay, he's bribed! ...... They're not telling Ford about this, right? Right. They're shaking on it. Agreed. They'll take this to their graves. ... Or to Bill's grave, anyway.

Hey, it's free gold that Bill is offering him totally voluntarily. After all the trouble this demon's brought into their lives, the LEAST Stan can get in return is a little financial compensation.

Great! Deal made! Time to go get the cursed friendship bracelets and then they can head out—

Ohhh no, Stan isn't trusting a bit of colored lace and some mystical hocus-pocus to keep Bill contained. They're doing this PROPERLY. He's gonna MAKE SURE Bill can't escape. They're going to Soos and getting the REAL, METAL handcuffs from him. Try to get out of THAT! Now... to the car!

... Bill's right wrist is cuffed to Stan's left wrist. This puts Bill on Stan's left side. How are they gonna get Stan in the driver's seat.

... Does Stan want Bill to drive— NO, no, NOPE, he is NOT letting Bill drive, under ANY circumstances, NOT a chance. Okay fine so how are they doing this.

Cue Stan driving with Bill cuddled up against his right side and Bill's right arm stretched across Stan's chest. It's very intimate. Very romantic. You can practically hear Unchained Melody playing in the background They are both so very very uncomfortable.

[imagine a gif from Ghost]

Exactly like that but imagine them grimacing in disgust the whole time

Definitely one of the worst experiences Stan has ever had handcuffed in a car.

So after a VERY unpleasant drive they park, get out—and immediately cross paths with Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland. Stan's like ah great, last thing they need, police nearby while they're doing something weird. Well, if they don't make eye contact and go about their way—

Bill waves like HI DARRYL, HI EDWIN, HOW'S IT GOING? WORKING HARD OR HARDLY WORKING HAHA and they're like OH HEY GOLDIE HOW'VE YOU BEEN, DID YOU HAVE A NICE SUMMERWEEN and Stan is like "*Bill what do you think you're doing getting their attention, do you want them asking questions*" and Bill goes "🙂 I did not think this through 🙂"

Which is of course when they go "hey why are you handcuffed to Mr. Pines? You need some help there? I bet we've got a key that matches that handcuff model" and oh Stan BETS that Bill would LOVE to accept that offer and go traipsing off into town with the cops, so he goes "NOPE, that's fine, thank you officers, but we're keeping the handcuffs on. ... Because. They're necessary. ... For me. ... Because I'm old. ... It's to keep me from wandering into traffic."

Bill's a quick liar, he goes haha yep that's true!! This guy's cataracts are so bad, sometimes he asks us if he's dying because all he can see is a white light at the end of a dark tunnel. And the way his mind's going, woof—" "(all right you don't have to lay it on so thick)" "—he's so addled it's like he's completely forgotten the last century of transportation advancements, he'll just walk right off the curb and expect the horse-drawn carriages to stop for him—" "Hahaaa, but we won't bore you with my medical history! *C'mon,* Goldie, you're gonna make me *late* to my *heart doctor appointment.* You don't want my life on your hands, do you." "(You know, I think I kind of do.)"

The cops are like, you can't see? didn't we just see you get out of the driver's seat of your car? and they're like ......... Goldie's giving him directions. 😃

Oh! That makes sense. Okay. They'll let them get to their doctor's appointment. They wander off like y'know i think Goldie's a step up from that seeing-eye bear

They look at each other like, all right, good improv, you're not bad. They can respect each other for that. Stan thinks Bill wouldn't be bad to run a con with if he were literally anybody other than who he is. Okay, on to the dentist.

So the dentist's office is a little garden shed around back behind some other totally unrelated business. Whatever business I can think of that would be funniest. It's a ramshackle nightmare. The dentist, also, is a ramshackle nightmare.

[candy store]

He's surprised to see Stan there, on account of the fact that Stan has no teeth. Because the dentist pulled them all. ... he's not mad is he

No, no, the dentures are great! They're lower maintenance! Sort of. In a way. Anyway, he's here to refer a new customer! ... does he get any kind of referral bonus or

Yeah have a uhhh gold coin or something, here. Okay! New customer! What can he do you for?

Fillings! Okay, on which teeth? Whichever he thinks would look best with some! Dealer's choice! Bill's leaving it in his hands! All that matters is that currently Bill's teeth do *not* have any gold in them, and he'd like that to change by the time he leaves.

The dentist gives Stan a look like "is this freak serious" and Stan sorta shrug nods like "yeah he's serious" and the dentist is like okay!!! Super! This'll be fun! Let's see what he has to work with.

The dentist is amazed at Bill's teeth. Wow. So clean. Perfectly white. Did you just get these cleaned, where'd you get it done at? No? Well, looks amazing. And no wear at all, remarkable... Do you mind if he takes a few pictures? Have you ever considered having any of these pulled?

Stan's like yeesh, he forgot how creepy this guy is. He's like a serial killer crossed with a nerd with a tooth fetish.

Well, the dentist is sorry to say that all of these are pristine. Not a hint of cavities—not even plaque. It'd be a shame to drill them. You *sure* you don't want one pulled...?

Stan is 😬 but Bill is handling this like it's a totally normal question for him to be getting. Y'know what, just the fillings today—but who knows, maybe he'll feel naughty and be back in a couple of weeks haha. Just pick a couple of your least favorite teeth to drill into!

Okay, suit yourself. Let's gas you up and get drilling.

This is the first time Stan's had an opportunity to watch the dentist at work. Which is how he learns for the first time that he saves all the little tooth dust & shards off his drill in a tiny Petri dish. Yeesh. He's an even bigger creep than Stan thought.

Bill doesn't handle the gas well. It's not that it makes him sick or anything. He just forgets how to human. The dentist tells him to hold his mouth open and he holds his eyes open until they water. He keeps forgetting his mouth is occupied and talking to the dentist while he trying to drill. When he's let go, he heaves himself off the chair and immediately falls on the ground because he expected to float. Stan has to support him to the door and he keeps trying to walk sideways. Bill doesn't mind, he feels great! Waves at the dentist as they leave. Thanks for the gold, Atlantis is rising as we speak, you have seven years to prepare for the plague, tell the little lady he said hi! Byyye! Stan is desperately trying to drag him out the door, he turns to Stan like "I made up the bit about Atlantis" "okay now shut up and stop saying weird things"

But not the plague part

The fic *does* take place in 2013

They're driving home. Smushed together all intimate-like. You can almost hear Careless Whisper playing. Except this time Bill is loudly and terribly singing along. He keeps trying to take the steering wheel and turn it like a kid playing in a toy car and Stan has to keep swatting his hand away. Bill's like "I can't feel my tongue at all! I bet I can chew it off!" "Don't do that." "The last time my mouth was this numb, my girlfriend had just gotten done with me, haha. I was almost blind for the next hour from all the spores—" "I swear if you don't shut up—" "I just realized I haven't gotten any action since I died. Wow. This isn't a weird time to bring that up, is it?" "Bill if you say ONE MORE weird thing you're riding home on the roof of the car."

Bill is quiet for three seconds. "Your arm's really beefy! What's your favorite flavor of cancer?"

Mabel: "why are you on top of the car?"

Bill, eyes wide, hair disheveled, one arm hanging through the driver's door, sprawled out desperately clinging to the roof like his life depends on it: "I don't know, it's all a blur." (Note to self, mention Mabel and dipper are heading out for a sleepover or something)

Well, *that* was fun! 🙂 Bill thinks it was fun, anyway. Stan doesn't agree. Anyway, where's Soos? They need the key to the handcuffs.

Soos is having dinner with Melody's family this evening. They call him to ask where the key is. Haha, sorry dudes! He totally forgot he still had it. Yeah, it's on his keyring. Is that, like, gonna be a problem, or...

Well—pff—when are you gonna be back?? Uhhh he's not sure, kinda late maybe. Well, can he duck out and bring them the key? Uhhhh he WOULD but, he's REALLY worried about impressing Melody's parents, and the casserole's about to come out, and he thinks they might judge him if he leaves, and it would probably ruin dinner... Okay FINE, then what if they drive over to get the key? ("STAN CAN I DRIVE THIS TIME—" "ABSOLUTELY NOT") Oh sure, they can drive over if they want—anyway Melody's parents' place is in Portland.

Which is waaaay outside the barrier around Gravity Falls

Welp. That ain't happening. Looks like they're stuck.

... They could call Blubs and Durland—?

NOPE Stan is NOT calling the cops for help NUH UH, he'll WAIT ALL NIGHT if he has to. ... so. What do they do until then.

Cue them grumpily watching a game show together. Bill refuses to sit in the living room with Stan so Stan's on the couch and Bill's sitting in the entryway on the stairs and their handcuffs are strung through the doorway. Hey Stan, still glad you went with the handcuffs instead of the friendship bracelets? Shut up.

Bill's shouting out the answers to every question on the show almost sooner than they're displayed and eventually Stan is like, man, we'd clean up if we put you on this show. No one would ever figure out how you're cheating. And Bill's like HA, listen to you!! If you were Ford you'd be mad that I'm giving away all the answers before you can guess!! That's the great thing about you, Stan, you don't get irritated at Bill for stupid little reasons, you're more fun. HEY FORD DID YOU HEAR THAT, STAN'S THE FUN TWIN— And Stan's like shut up you idiot ford's in the basement he can't hear you. And what are you talking about, you irritate me all the time. I'm constantly infuriated by you. And Bill's like, oh, well, i guess i just don't care when you're irritated then lmao.

Stan's like what's with you anyway, why are you so obsessed with Stan's brother. And bill says SDFHFJF?? DSFKLGLJ??? FLKJFHGD???? EXCUSE M. EXCUSE ME?? OBSESSED??? MOI???? I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT

Is it OBSESSION to SOMETIMES PAY ATTENTION to the one person in the house he HAPPENS to know best and to whom he HAPPENS to be a teacher and muse and friend— and Stan's like oh that's a load of bull, you're not ANY of those things to him. Friend?? Friend???? HE WANTS YOU DEAD and Bill's like WELL IF THAT'S *SO* then doesn't it also make plenty of sense to keep an eye on, you know, THE GUY THAT *KILLED* HIM, like there's nothing mysterious about why he'd focus a *little* on that person—

THAT'S IT, THAT'S JUST IT!!!! There are TWO people who killed Bill, remember? That was a two-man con he fell for! But he keeps treating Ford like he was the only one there! If Ford's in the room, he's the only person Bill talks to, and if he ISN'T in the room then Bill's yelling across the house for him, and Ford wants less to do with him than anyone else, what the heck, it's creepy—

Only *one* person killed Bill. Stan's not the man who killed him; he's just the place where Bill was killed.

And that baffles Stan into shutting up a second.

Bill's like, do you even remember what happened in your brain?? and Stan's like :/ so Bill's like LMAO!! We were both trapped in there when Ford fired the gun. Completely powerless. Stan was weeping and begging for a way out even, but there was nothing Bill could do by then— and Stan's like all right I KNOW that THAT didn't happen! so Bill's like fine fine okay all right you got me, we actually had this big psychic laser fight, imagining up all sorts of fantastical weapons. And Stan's like, ehhhh, all right, that sounds more like me. And bill says but it was all IMAGINARY, it was a vast illusion, at that point there was nothing I could do to you and nothing you could do to me. We were just two victims locked inside a burning house as it came down around us. YOU didn't kill me, you didn't have the POWER to kill me. And Stan just, gives him this discontented look. Hm.

Oh, oh wow, okay, Bill sees what's going on. Stan's jealous, isn't he. He thought offering up his body to be the scene of a murder finally made him a co-star instead of a sidekick. All their lives, Ford got more attention from daddy, more attention from the teachers, more attention from the WHOLE WORLD—and Stan finally thought he'd at least get a little attention from the big bad living nightmare. Just because he let his brother shoot him in the head. You weren't special enough for anyone else, why do you think you're special enough for Bill?

Oh yeah?? Well he bets he's special enough to break Bill's face— jerks him by the chain into the living room, fist raised; and Bill immediately pulls back as far as he can and tries to shield his face.

As a helpful reminder, Bill's death actually went like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0D3adyJQDqI so 1) he is VERY much lying to Stan, and 2) getting punched in the eye by Stan in the living room is still echoing in his nightmares.

So there's a split second where Bill is absolutely blind with terror, gets out a strangled "NO—!" and then they both freeze and stare at each other. Stan knows what just happened. And Bill knows Stan knows. And Stan knows Bill knows Stan knows.

Bill immediately plays it off, "come on, I just got all this dental work done, at least give me a couple days to enjoy it before you pound it in. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't mine having a flatter face, all these bones and cartilage jutting out never did feel right—"

Stan feigns a punch. Bill flinches. Stan laughs at him.

And what's Bill gonna do? Fight him? He is not trained in 3D brawling. He tries, very hard, to explode Stan with his brain. This usually works on people who are annoying him. But alas. "If I had one billion-billionth of my power back I'd have already destroyed you—!" "But you DON'T, sucker!!" Bill screams in frustration and stomps off to go sulk somewhere

Aaand is immediately jerked back because of the handcuffs. Whoops.

"... Whatever I don't even care about your stupid aggressive mammal posturing. It's fine. It doesn't bother me. I'm calm. You're just making yourself look stupid. ... I wanna go to bed."

####

So!! Attempting plotting. When we left off, Bill wanted to go to bed. Which is a problem since he's still handcuffed to Stan

Cue Ford going "Bill. Why are you sleeping on the floor in front of my bedroom door."

Well you see, STAN got them handcuffed together until morning, and Bill tried to be accommodating, but Stan doesn't want to sleep in the attic and won't let Bill sleep in the guest room— (Stan yelling "and Mr. Accommodating here refuses to sleep in the living room") —so the best compromise they've got is sleeping on the floor with the handcuff chain strung under the guest room door, see. Does Ford want in? It'll take a little coordination to get the door open but they've done this once before—

Ford's not messing with this. He's sleeping in the basement. Good night.

At some point in this I've gotta establish that Mabel and Dipper are out of the house for the night. Maybe they're just leaving as Stan and Bill get home. Anyway the point is Bill and Stan are effectively at home alone for the night. Maybe Soos's grandma is still there, she's a little old lady, she wouldn't be much help in a fight

So. Somehow I've gotta get them from being asleep to getting woken up by the dentist being in the house, with the tooth fairy. There's some transitional material I'm missing that I've gotta fill in later.

Maybe Bill wakes up with the dentist's tools already in his mouth, ready to pull. Waking up at 2 am to invasive dental surgery. Bill's like, hello, very forward of you.

[horrified face]

That WOULD be a more appropriate reaction, if Bill weren't so weird.

Bangs on the door to wake up Stan, WE HAVE VISITORS, WAKE UP

Dentist realizes that Bill is stuck in place with the chain, pins him against the wall, and tries to go for his teeth. STAN SURE IS TAKING HIS TIME— Stan gets the door open just in time, Bill tumbles into the guest room, Stan goes wtf why is the dentist here?

The dentist goes uhhhh he just wanted to check on Bill's fillings, yeah, he thought one of them might be a little loose— Bill's like cut the crap, your boss put you up to this, what the heck does the little lady want with his mouth?

Stan's like what? What "little lady," this guy is self employed, what are you talking about— and Bill goes the TOOTH FAIRY, genius, why did you think your dentist pays YOU to pull your teeth! Who'd you think was funding him?! And, well, Stan can't say he ever put much thought into it. He just sort of took this whole thing at face value. But like the tooth fairy is fake right, like that's just stupid—

Which is when a fairy wearing baby teeth jewelry pops her head out of the dentist's bag. Stan's like oh well never mind, just one more crazy thing happening in this town. And Bill's like oh shit she's actually HERE, the situation just escalated significantly.

I've decided the tooth fairy's name is Pearl E. White.

Bill skips straight to addressing her by first name, which disconcerts everybody, not least of which is the tooth fairy herself. Lady, if you were toeing the line of your treaty any harder, you'd be tripping across it. What are you doing here and what do you want?

She's WELL within the bounds of the treaty, she hasn't laid a hand on Bill and she's not about to start, and she's been offering MORE than adequate financial compensation— Bill's like oh yeah I bet the queen would have something to say about you ordering your helper to rip out someone's teeth in the dead of night— and Stan's like hi, question, what the Fuck are you all talking about

Oh Bill can explain, Bill knows lots of things! So this fairy here has a *thing* for teeth. To the extent that she got into a habit of stealing them straight out of humans' mouths! And went so crazy over it that she actually dragged a fairy court into a war with humans over her teeth-stealing habits! Currently, she's only allowed to accept *already freed* teeth that are *voluntarily* offered to her by the owner, which is why she started bribing kids with money.

She starts getting into a gray area working with hired dentists—once a tooth has been handed over to a dentist, that dentist becomes its "owner," and can give that tooth to the tooth fairy—buuut the fact that he *extracted* the tooth puts it on shaky legal ground. Really, Bill thinks the only reason she's been getting away with THAT racket so long is because nobody's raised a legal challenge to it yet. Probably because most humans don't know it's even happening. And with the price of dental work being what it is, yeesh. But—by *any* reading of the treaty, hiring a human to nonconsensually rip out teeth on her behalf is beyond the pale. So she'd better have a good explanation for this!

Yeah, she does have a good explanation for this. SHE WANTS BILL'S TEETH! She'd do ANYTHING for one of his teeth! They're the most amazing teeth she's ever seen!!!

The dentist is like, holding her back from lunging at Bill's face

Okay, great! Fantastic! Bill's not above a little bargaining and he's not too attached to this body—so how much gold you got on you, kid?

Oh no, she's not bargaining. Bill already knows too much, she's NOT about to get blackmailed by a human, and she's not going back to fairy jail. So here's what she's gonna do: she's gonna have her guy rip out every one of Bill's teeth, and then rip his head apart to destroy the witness, and the only negotiating Bill gets to do is on whether or not her guy uses the local anesthetic. What's it gonna be?

Stan cuts in like hi, hey, listen, he'd love to see Bill's head get ripped apart, but—crazy thing—it turns out there's 50/50 odds that killing him will lead to the end of the world, so maybe let's talk this out—

Tooth fairy points at Stan like he's got nothing left of interest to me. He's a witness. Kill him too.

Right, cool cool cool, hey Stan you know that spell Ford's got on Bill? Well if Bill casts it on the dentist, can Stan handle things from there?

Yeah, Stan sees where Bill is going with this. The dentist & fairy don't expect Bill and Stan to lunge for them; Bill casts the can't-use-doors spell on the dentist, Stan drags Bill with him into the hallway, Stan slams shut the door, and now the fairy's bellowing OPEN THE DOOR YOU IDIOT and the dentist is yelling HOW????

They retreat to the entryway. From there they can go out the front door, into the kitchen, into the living room, or upstairs. I need to keep them from just going out the front door, I'll need to think up an excuse for that later. Something magic maybe idk. I also need to keep them out of the kitchen, but that's a likely dead end unless they feel like climbing over the kitchen table to break a window. Basically, I need them to be limited to the living room or upstairs.

The living room is the better option—it has a door to the gift shop, and the gift shop has a door straight outside, as well as doors to the mystery shack museum & the hidden elevator to the basement, lots of great options in there. But Bill drags them upstairs instead. Bill you idiot what are you doing, this is obviously the worse direction??

Shut up we're going this way and Bill doesn't care what Stan thinks about it.

Why are we going this way?? How the heck do you expect to get out of here from up in the attic?! Bill doesn't know, it just seemed like a better idea! There should be a ladder in the storage over the kids' room, maybe they can take that and get down out a window, come on

Meanwhile the fairy is hollering about how YOU DON'T DESERVE THOSE TEETH, THEY'RE TOO GOOD FOR YOU! They're the most beautiful, pristine, unblemished, perfect teeth she's ever seen in her life. (Bill's like "are they really that great?" and Stan's like "eh, a little asymmetrical, honestly.") She's NEVER seen adult teeth so pure and HE'S RUINING THEM by carving out chunks of PERFECT TOOTH to put in unnecessary fillings! He doesn't have the right to those teeth, she deserves them! ("Hey Bill so you knew my dentist was working for the tooth fairy?" "Yes." "And you knew she goes crazy for nice teeth." "Yes." "And it didn't occur to you that she'd be outraged by you carving up your new teeth." "It's in the past, Stanley, focus on the present.")

—and she doesn't even KNOW how he got MAGIC TEETH! Fully adult teeth in a fully adult mouth but SOMEHOW they're barely a month old! It's unbelievable! She couldn't believe it herself until she saw his mouth with her own two eyes! She MUST have those teeth, as soon as possible, so she can preserve them like this, who knows if she'll ever find such a novelty again— Ahhh, so THAT'S what's motivating her. Welp, nope, sorry, Bill didn't see that one coming at all.

... hey, she's been buzzing around shouting at them but they don't hear her trying to help her dentist OR coming after them directly, what's she up to? Stan leans out the door to look into the main attic.

Huh, weird. She's just flying in a circle with what looks like a container of veggies from the fridge?? He thinks it's the sliced portobello mushrooms

WHAT!! OH THAT LITTLE CHEATER IS MAKING A FAIRY RING, THAT'S NOT FAIR—

Aaand poof, the dentist appears in the ring. The fairy must have already made the matching ring downstairs.

The dentist still needs a dumb name

[Drilliam]

Dr. Illiam. It was william but the W fell off his sign

[any relation to dr acula]

Went to dental school together. Dr. Acula kept mislabeling teeth, he always thinks the canines should be longer

He switched career tracks and became a phlebotomist

and speaking of drills — Fairy yells GET THEM, the dentist reaches into his dental tool bag, and pulls out a drill. Not a dental drill. A drill.

They slam the door. The dentist goes AW, F— AGAIN??? The tooth fairy's like JUST BREAK THROUGH IT, YOU HAVE POWER TOOLS

Bill has an idea. Stan, open the window, Bill's tying bedsheets (from Dipper's bed) together. Bill doesn't expect them to climb out that window, does he? No, he expects the *fairy* to think they went out that way, and they can hide in the closet until the fairy and dentist are past them so they can run downstairs.

Stan doesn't like the idea of hiding like cowards instead of fighting. Bill's like I can see a dozen futures that end with our brains splattered across Mabel's dolls you do NOT want to fight against power tools now COME ON

So they hide in the closet. It's uncomfortable in here. They're trying to stay quiet and listening to the dentist mauling his way through the door. Okay smart guy now what? What'll they do when they get downstairs?

Whispering at each other, "Why that way? Why not the living room, it's a lot faster to get out through the gift shop." "... Yeah. Fine—" "What's the matter, Bill, you got a problem with the living room?" "What? No, I SAID fine. It's fine." "It took you a long time." "I was trying to figure out if that was the fastest way out—" "Oh, really??? You sure you aren't SCARED to go in there with me? You think I haven't noticed how you bolt out of the living room any time I come in? Or how you flinch every time I raise my hand?" "... I don't know what you're talking about." "Do you REALLY think I don't remember how you died." "..." "As if I could forget the best moment of my life. Watching you on your knees, begging for mercy, while I put my fist through your face like a cheap mirror—" "YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!" "ADMIT IT! ADMIT THAT I KILLED YOU TOO! I PLAYED JUST AS MUCH A PART IN IT AS HE DID!" "YOU DID *NOT* KILL ME, YOU *COULDN'T* HAVE KILLED ME, I'M NOT *CAPABLE* OF BEING KILLED BY SOMEONE LIKE YOU!" "*THEN WHY ARE YOU AFRAID OF ME!*" "*I'M NOT AFRAID—*"

Unsurprisingly, the dentist puts a drill through the closet door.

####

For now though: Drilliam is drilling. Bill and Stan are screaming. Bill's shouting IS THIS WORTH IT?? WAS GETTING YOUR DENTAL SCHOOL LOANS PAID OFF WORTH THIS?? DO YOU WANNA BE A MURDERER MAN and he's sobbing I CAN'T STOP NOW, I'M IN TOO DEEP this man is having the worst night, like sure he's obeying the tooth fairy but it's clear she's the bloodthirsty one here

Okay count of three Stan and Bill are kicking the door open. Bill falls flat on his ass and has to scramble back up but they manage to wedge the dentist behind the door in a corner with his drill stuck in the door. Waving at their faces, menacingly. Stupid cordless magic-powered drill. The fairy's buzzing in their faces making them swat at her, the dentist starts to wiggle out, they give the door one last hard shove to knock him off balance and then run for the stairs.

And, of course, they continue the most important discussion as they go. "WHY DOES IT MATTER to you so much whether Ford killed you or Ford *and me* killed you? Why is it SO hard to admit that I threw a punch that took you down?!" "You DIDN'T kill me, you CAN'T have killed me because YOU DON'T MATTER. YOU AREN'T IMPORTANT." "Dsklfslkjf NOT IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO *KILL* YOU?! HOW DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE?!"

And Bill senses he's found a weakness he can needle. "It's true! I've looked into countless universes and you just don't matter! No matter where you go or what you do, you just AREN'T IMPORTANT! If *anything*, all you ever do is make things *worse.* You know, I first tried to work with Ford in a universe where *you don't exist*? And I couldn't do it! He wouldn't give me a chance! Because YOU weren't there to ruin his life and make him desperate enough to turn to an alien, and YOU hadn't spent your whole childhood *training* him to put up with a manipulative con artist's lies—so he'd be *ready* when he met me. Isn't that funny, Stanley?"

Bill's dragged them to a stop now so he can rip into Stan: "You were stillborn in that universe. Your brother had to grow up without a twin watching over him—so he actually learned how to make friends. Your mother was DEVASTATED that she'd lost you—but you know what's funny? I think your family loved that dead baby you more than they EVER liked the disappointment you turned out to be—"

And That's When Stan Punches Bill As Hard As He Can

Bill goes DOWN. There is blood everywhere. Oh shit Stan didn't mean to do that much damage are you okay?

And THAT'S when Stan realizes that they're in the living room. Right where Bill died. Bill goaded him into it

And Bill holds up a tooth, like, thanks for the tooth fairy bait. (Staring Stan dead in the eye with this look like, SCARED OF YOU, AM I?? WHO'S SCARED NOW)

And Stan... Stan is really big on macho, "face your fears," "stand up for yourself," "fight back" displays of masculinity. Stan's figured out Bill isn't much of a physical fighter. He might never be able to throw a punch. He's got tiny little baby hands. But—but—if his response to "I think you're scared" is plunging himself directly into the situation he's scared of, making it as terrifying as possible, and taking it without flinching... Stan, grudgingly, has to respect that. He doesn't WANT to respect that. But it's the kind of thing he respects. [when it comes to fighting, he might be able to dish it; but he can take it]

So now he kinda sorta grudgingly respects Bill. ... But also kind of feels bad for Bill? for reasons he can't quite specify. (Because it's the kind of desperate-to-prove-himself stunt that a younger Stan would have pulled, when he was scared and alone and homeless and trying to earn his fortune and a macho mask was the ONLY thing he had going for him. And he's never seen Bill like that before—all he ever saw was Mr. Big Shot Triangle who always had everything under control up until he was tricked into dying. It's never occurred to him that Bill is scrambling too. That Bill might also be lost.)

(It doesn't escape Stan that, in Bill's efforts to get under Stan's skin, Bill slipped up and called *himself* a manipulative con artist.)

But no time to wax poetic, Stan's not an introspective guy. Tooth fairy bait! A whole entire tooth! What are they gonna do with it?

I still need to figure out this part. They've gotta set a trap to catch a fairy, they've gotta separate her from the dentist, and they've got to do it extremely fast, because being stuck behind a door in the attic isn't gonna hold the dentist for THAT long

What kinda stuff traps fairies. My initial thought was "salt rings" but no i think that's demons. Not sure that works on fairies too

[iron. Not a clothes iron]

idk, chucking an iron at a fairy's head...

Like that post that's like "i know traditionally it takes a wooden stake to the heart to kill a vampire, but i think we oughta give hitting them with a pickup a shot"

It'll probably be something in the gift shop, since they're getting corralled that way. Stan hears them coming and shoves Bill through the door and follows after him. This is a very baffling experience for Bill, as the door was previously closed, and Stan didn't open it, and yet Bill is going through it, and he does not understand enough about doors to make sense of this. (It's a swinging door, it doesn't lock or latch.) The dentist is coming at the door ready to drill it (he doesn't understand swinging doors either) and obviously if he tried to hit the door it'd just swing open which would be bad news for them so Stan is like HOLD IT, that door is LOAD BEARING, if you start hacking holes in it the WHOLE SHACK COULD COME DOWN ON US! And the dentist pauses like. Now that doesn't sound right, but i don't know enough about doors to dispute it.

A load bearing door. ... that swings.

The fairy's like WHAT ARE YOU STOPPING FOR YOU IDIOT, HE'S LYING, DOORS DON'T WORK LIKE THAT— and Bill's like HEY CHECK THIS OUT. Waving his tooth around. YOU WANT THIS???

She's so outraged, YOU KNOCKED IT OUT, what if you CHIPPED IT, she's zooming for it

And Bill chucks it in... something. Undecided. Maybe I'll decide what it is later and then cleverly find a way to foreshadow it earlier in the chapter. Anyway it's totally an effective fairy trap, possibly made out of iron.

BAM, now she's TRAPPED. The dentist is dropped down on the ground to peer through the gap under the door (there's like a three inch gap at the bottom of the door) and goes NO and pounds the door. It swings a few inches open. He stares in bafflement. It swings back and hits him in the forehead. At least Bill's no longer alone in his suffering re: the mystery of doors.

Right! Looks like they've got a proper hostage situation here, don't they! If Drilliam would please drop the power tools and back away from the door. Very good. Stan picks up his bag, holds the dentist at drill point, and tells him to get walking, he'll escort him outside. Stan doesn't trust Bill with power tools, so he can stand guard over the fairy.

... which means Bill is alone with the fairy.

*So*. Bill believes they were negotiating? 🙂

She's not negotiating ANYTHING with him. Look at what he did to this poor tooth. She's hugging it.

SHE'S obeyed the letter of her treaty, even if not the spirit, and when the fairy court hears tell of this they'll back her up and come free her, and oh, THEN Bill and Stan will be in trouble—

WAIT I JUST REALIZED. HOW CAN STAN LEAVE IF HE"S HANDCUFFED TO BILL.......................

See this is wh. This is why i outline. This is. The reason i do it. Invaluable process.

Maybe the handcuff broke when Stan punched Bill. Turned out it was a cheapo flimsy chain. Maybe they're still handcuffed together and I'm just gonna have to dial back how much Bill can say to the fairy because he knows Stan is listening.

I feel like separating Stan & Bill's cuffs would be a cop out, unless I can make it a really good moment

You know what, if bill had an opportunity to talk to the fairy alone, he would've tried to rope her into getting him some help that i do NOT know how to pay off. I was gonna have him promise a tooth off of his stone corpse in return for Assistance (As Yet Undecided), but i feel like giving Bill an in with some nebulous organization of fairies might be giving him too much power too soon?? Like, "what COULD he do with a huge favor from a fairy" versus "what do I want him to currently be ABLE to do" + "what do I want people to THINK he can do," a fairy favor might be too much??

I'll try rolling with them still being chained together, see how i like that. Okay so ignore what i just said, Bill is going WITH Stan to kick out the dentist—they just shove him out the gift shop door and he stands out there making sad puppy eyes at them—and then go back to negotiate with the fairy.

And her buddies are gonna be mad when they come to get her!

Bill's like, but that's assuming they come for her, which they might just not, once they hear where she is. IF they hear where she is. She DOES know where she is, right? (Sure she does, this is the Mystery Shack.) And she does know who owns it, right? (Sure she does, he's right there—) Who REALLY owns it? (...) Are you *sure* they'll come for you here?

It doesn't matter who owns this place, HE'S been gone for decades— Oh, has he? You sure about that? You didn't think it strange that an odd person with magical teeth and weird eyes—a real bonafide freak—happens to be in this shack, getting escorted around by handcuffs? That didn't make you ask any questions?

Stan puts a threatening hand on Bill's shoulder like *hey, easy how much you spill*—most people don't notice Bill doesn't look quite human until he points it out—and seeing *that* gesture terrifies the fairy more than anything else Bill said, like oh shit, he's not bluffing, she's been hunting somebody else's prisoner.

So how about this. If *she* promises to leave and never harass them again, *they* promise not to wake up the jailer and ask how he wants to deal with her. Because Bill just wants to be left alone, and he assumes Stan just wants to go back to bed—but *him,* oh, he wouldn't hesitate to pin her wings to a board. Sound fair?

Yes, yes, it's fair, she'll leave them alone! Just let her go!

Great. 🙂 Oh, and one more thing. His payment for that tooth?

She gives Bill a gold tooth. 😠 And they let her go. She's a fairy, her word's as good as law. If she promised not to bother them again then she won't. Can't lie.

... so. What was all that about the true owner of the shack?

Oh haha yeah! Fordsy's got a bit of a reputation around the town's paranormal community. He actually wasn't much more personable with the freaks he was studying than he was with the other humans in town—he had a tendency to catch, study, release. One or two times he *didn't* release. Rumors grow with time. And well, if it's useful to pretend to be one of his specimens...

The idea of keeping a person (a person!) prisoner to study does Not sit well with Stan. "You're *not* one of his specimens." "No? Has he been studying me?" "Of COURSE not" but now he's thinking about it.

... Well. Back to sleep? ("Are you gonna let me sleep in the guest room now?" "*No.*" "Aww, I thought we'd bonded a little!" "After all the horrible shit you said earlier??" "Haha you're too sensitive.")

......... WAS the horrible shit Bill said true? Or did he just say it to get a rise out of Stan.

Naaah, he just thought it would be funny to make Stan mad. He never saw a universe where Stan and Ford weren't inseparable as kids. But then he never dug that hard. It wasn't one of his priorities.

Stan doesn't think Bill's telling the truth now; but Stan doesn't think Bill was telling the truth earlier, either. Bill's not telling Stan what the multiverse is like; Bill's telling Stan how he wants Stan to feel. Bill *could* have said everything he'd said was true, but he didn't.

"You're not a half bad liar, Cipher. It's too bad you're a lousy dirtbag bent on world domination, or you could've made a decent partner-in-crime." "Yeah? Well, my schedule's clear, I'm bored, and running a two-man con sounds fun. Let me know." "Don't count on it."

The end.

Epilogue: next morning Ford goes "did you two sleep well?" (He's not actually asking Bill he's just asking Stan. He hopes Bill got an annoying crick in his neck that'll never go away.) "Oh yeah, no problem. Got comfortable and didn't move all night." "We barely even noticed the handcuffs. Slept like babies." Well, Ford's relieved nothing weird happened last night.

There's a knock at the door. He'll get that.

It's a very sad and bedraggled dentist. Can he please have his ability to open doors back? He had to sleep outside last night. 8,C

... only the person who cast the spell can lift it. Hey Bill, get in here. "Slept like babies," huh?

The end end

####

[everything after this is various points in other conversations where I was discussing the where & how the tooth fairy arc would fit with the overall story, to show you what kind of plotting-over-time I do for the big elements of a story.]

You know what I'm gonna go with a tooth fairy. The show's featured gnomes, mermaids, subterranean dinosaurs preserved in tree sap, and Cupid. A tooth fairy works.

A dentist who worships the tooth fairy. The fairy gets a glimpse of Bill and goes "WOW I've never had ALIEN TEETH before! *Bring them to me.*"

[hell yeah alien teeth]

####

And probably the chapter after that is gonna be Stan Takes Bill To The Dentist. Where Bill goes "you don't have to worry about me running off, we can use the friendship bracelets." "Oh ill friendship bracelet YOU. And I'll do it WITHOUT MAGIC." *slaps actual real handcuffs on himself and Bill. Loses the key.*

####

He played himself. I think I'm gonna have them be handcuffed through the ENTIRE tooth fairy arc. I think it would be really funny.

Ford like "Bill, why are you sitting in the hallway outside my guest room."

"Because SOMEBODY decided to HANDCUFF US TOGETHER and then LOST THE KEY so I have to SLEEP IN THE HALLWAY with the HANDCUFF CHAIN STRUNG UNDER THE DOOR. ISN'T THAT RIGHT, *STANLEY.*"

"Right. ... I'm going to sleep in my lab tonight."

####

Things going on:

- Stan unwillingly getting dragged into his "befriending the evil triangle" arc. Woe, friendship be upon ye.

- Bill copes with traumas by setting himself up to relive them until they stop hurting. Burning down your dimension devastated you? Become a serial arsonist, stare into the flames over and over again! Flinch every time the guy they punched you to death raises a fist? Goad him into following through, now it's not scary anymore!

####

Where I am right now: Mabel has just won Bill's loyalty forever. Where I need to get to: the next "episode," which is *probably* gonna be Stan taking Bill to the dentist and getting tangled up with the tooth fairy, unless I come up with another plot I think might be more appropriate to come first. I feel like I can't just hop straight into the next episode, because Mabel's JUST befriended Bill, so I need to spend a little time showing them BEING friends so that that convincingly sticks. And I can't "just" show them hanging out coloring pictures or whatever, I've gotta have something, like, *happen.*

####

Today's mission: figure out how to jigsaw in all the plot points I need to establish before the season one finale (when [SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS].)

I've made a list of all the things I'm pretty sure need to happen:

- Bill makes progress on lucid dreaming 

- Stan emotionally invests in Bill

--- ( this will be the Tooth fairy arc)

- Ford decides Bill isn't gonna kill them

--- the eclipse

- Ford likes Bill a tiny bit

- Dipper decides Bill is harmless

--- (I'm planning a gag where bill gets accidentally locked in the bathroom all day, this'll achieve that)

- Dipper decides Bill might be useful

--- (The eclipse)

- Bill makes contact with cultists

--- (cultist visits shack looking for bill)

- Bill finds a way to sneak outside

- conversation with dipper about the third dimension

- Fiddleford finishes the gun

--- (this will probably necessitate another Fiddleford visit)

This isn't everything that COULD happen before the season 1 finale, but it's the BARE MINIMUM everything that needs to get done.

####

There's plenty of other things that could happen before or after this, but i might need a better idea of how I want to shape season 2 before I can decide what to put before and what to put after

Like, the monster truck plot. I'm toying with whether I want it before the s1 finale (which would mean Bill can use Gideon to make contact with his cultists) or after (which would mean [SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS])

Somebody else put this together into a coherent plot arc for me o|-<

I keep pushing back writing the tooth fairy arc because i keep going "no wait, i thought of something else i need to do first—" and part of that is because, i feel like, once the tooth fairy arc happens, that kicks in gear Bill interacting with Gideon (because then he's got a gold tooth), which naturally leads to the monster truck arc, which is a big event, so anything that needs to happen "early" in the fic needs to happen before then—but if i do decide to push the monster truck arc to later on, that's less of a concern. Instead I could spend more time on foreshadowing Bill messing with Gideon.

[vote push it back]

you may have a point. The main thing is if i push it back, it would make the most sense to go in season 2 (when [SPOILERS SPOILERS]), BUT: one of the things I'd *like* to do with the finale is [SPOILERS SPOILERS x100] which needs Gideon. (Alternatively, I could make up some new, lower-key method for Bill to get Gideon under his thumb without meeting him at the monster truck rally—but I'd have to think up some Whole New Plot that's Interesting enough for that.)

####

Okay so i think my rough roadmap is. Tooth fairy plot -> Gideon chapter -> the axolotl eclipse -> the season finale. These four events contain most of my "MUST be done before the finale" events

####

I think the "makes progress on lucid dreaming" can be achieved during the Gideon chapter. I can bookend the chapter with a couple of his efforts, to show how he progresses over the chapter. *Maybe* I can shove one into the tooth fairy chapter, have a dream be interrupted by the dentist waking him

Yeah, there are two dreams I know I want to happen; a replay of Bill's mom dying where he "remembers"/admits that when he realized he hurt his mom, he *kept on pushing*; and a second replay where he seizes control of the dream and rewrites it so that it's like a big fun gory game (and thus re-burying the traumatic reality of what happened). I can put those at the beginning and end of Gideon's chapter.

####

Okay I think my current road map is:

tooth fairy -> bill figures out how to sneak out/dipper finds bill locked in the bathroom -> Gideon (+lucid dreaming) -> (Bill talks to Dipper about how he perceived the universe, leading to) The Eclipse -> Ford brings home a copy of Flatworld, letting the kids learn more about Bill's backstory/Fiddleford tells Ford the gun is ready, leading to -> the season one finale.

We're in the final stretch! No more random diversions, probably!

####

#anonymous #ask #about my writing #bill goldilocks cipher

[magentagalaxies]

i have so much work to do for finals season which is frustrating bc on the one hand i'm very glad all my classes have project-based finals where i get to be creative instead of just doing an exam or a paper. however. i have a bad habit with every project-based final ever of accidentally getting an idea that's way too ambitious and creating more work for myself than i need to do

however this semester even tho i fell into that exact same trap my two most elaborate final projects each involve 1. editing a video essay which contains an interview i did with paul bellini and at least 45 seconds of it are bellini talking about why he thinks i have great potential as a comedian, and 2. editing a ten minute reel of the documentary footage i got on tour with scott. which of course involves rewatching various videos of me and scott being extremely chaotic together. so i stay winning ig

#my other finals include ''powerpoint presentation detailing the historical significance of mel brooks the producers'' #and ''live sketch show that i actually don't have a significant role in but that's fine i have a different sketch class next semester'' #(this sketch class was technically ''creating characters and solo performances'' and i really wish i could've done more) #(but also that whole interview-footage-debacle drained so much of my creative energy so sometimes doing the bare minimum is self care) #so i don't have a solo piece in the show. but i do get to say my favorite line in the whole show in a group sketch which is great #and i did sign up to perform an aubrey monologue in a sketch show in a suburb of boston next week #which is gonna be super interesting bc i've been looking to do more performing outside of my college #bc i've found that i don't think college kids are actually my target audience??? or at the very least i want to perform to a wider audience #it's frustrating bc for that show i have to trim the monologue down to 3 minutes but it's the tightest monologue i have and it's 5 minutes #so trimming it down feels like a game of jenga since it's so tight lmao #but honestly even if the performance bombs i'm mostly doing this so i can tell bellini about it lmao #he's so supportive of my comedy and he's been such a great help with my aubrey monologues i feel like this is bellini homework lmao #anyway i probably won't post the video essay publicly bc it's not the style of video essays i want to make #and it's too specific to the class it's for #but if people are interested in watching it i'll send you the vid when it's done #and for the tour video i'll probably post that or at least some version of it #bc that's just gonna be a fun teaser of ''here's the level of behind-the-scenes content you'll be getting from this doc!!'' #and also a fun way to be like. audiences don't know me nearly as well as they know scott #but they will definitely know me by the end of this bc there are so many wild interactions i have on camera of me and scott being chaotic #anyway this post was mostly to organize my thoughts of what i still have to do this week #i am so ready to be done with school lmao i'm gonna be spending a full month in toronto this summer #and it's shaping up to be such an exciting time i can't wait

[dredshirtroberts]

listen. I know my family is bad at communication and acknowledgement of receipt of Thing but when the one thing that consistently happens semi-annually is that I get fussed at for not confirming I received something, it irks me a smidge.

Like if I'm expected to always confirm "Hey I got your [communication/gift]" then why aren't they doing it back? Especially considering the communication in this instance has really actually very important information they will want to know if they want to stay in contact with me.

Like????

Even if I'd just gotten a "K" in response, like. at least it would have let me know they got the damn thing. I sent this email TWO WEEKS AGO and only one person responded - and it was practically immediate too. Like... i know folks are busy, i know shit's going on. I get it. But it would help me feel so much less like I'm suddenly a pariah in the family out of nowhere if like one of the people I'd sent this to had just responded in some way shape or form.

I'd have answered a phone call - i wouldn't have liked it, but i'd have done it. A letter in the mail to my current address even. a message in a bottle probably wouldn't get to me because i'm pretty far from the beaches of the great lakes, and also they're even farther, but like. something right?

my sister at least confirmed she got it and just forgot to respond. i imagine that's what happened with everyone else because we have the same mental illnesses and look. i do it too. but also? also?? i was hounded to respond quickly to things, i was told off every time i wasn't responding within a half hour of any communication. I was asked instantly the next time they saw me if I'd gotten it, even if i hadn't had a chance to see the thing yet.

So forgive me, family, if I'm a little peeved off that all y'all are allowed to "forget to respond" for two whole fucking weeks and then a few extra days (because it's been 2 weeks, 3 days exactly) when i can't let something sit in the mailbox for 2 days because i couldn't get to my mailbox easily while living on my own without getting a phone call or text or email that there should be something waiting in there for me.

*enraged screeching*

#literally the deadline i gave them for my address change was Monday #technically they have until the 8th but i didn't give them that room because i feared they'd use it #and my birthday is this upcoming week and like. idk i was kind of looking forward to maybe getting a card or two perhaps that's silly of me #to look forward to receiving specifically birthday correspondence for my birthday idk man #like i don't have a lot of space to judge i'm also really bad at keeping up lines of communication but when someone sends you #an update with a deadline about when they're moving and to where exactly #and also a big update on a health issue that like. they've mentioned MULTIPLE times #it's generally considered courteous to at least SAY YOU RECEIVED THE MESSAGE even if you didn't have a chance to read the whole thing yet #like???????? #angry i am so angry #like yay my sister responded to the text IT TOOK 2 WEEKS AND ME POKING HER ABOUT IT #again i know. i know people are busy and have other things going on #why did *I* have to be the one who came up with work arounds and ways to avoid doing this to other people when no one else does it for me? #why was *I* the one always getting fussed at and told off and lectured about how rude i was for not getting back to people in a timelymanne #but it's fine for them to IGNORE ME FOR 2 FUCKING WEEKS #like fuck *off* with that bullshit i'm so fucking......... #i mean it. about the others. if my grandparents i sent this to and my other aunt don't respond they don't get any more updates on me #i don't tell them when i move next or where i've gone. if i change my phone number again they don't get it. #like. if you're not going to do me the courtesy of saying ''i got your message you sent'' #AFTER I'VE SENT A FOLLOW UP TWO WEEKS LATER #then you don't get to stay in touch because you clearly do not care about it. #....i already feel like i'm extremely unwantable and like no one will ever desire to stick with me long term #having the family members i spent the majority of my life being around not respond to me does not help that #the SINGULAR person in a whole list of recipients who responded quickly (and also thoroughly but that was *wholly* unexpected) #was someone I barely got a chance to know when I was young because of weird family drama I don't care about #because it doesn't fucking matter y'all are adults now act like it #like. the most supportive member of my family is a woman i thought disliked me on principle because i was my father's child #and it turns out no it's my dad who's the fucked up one who judged her children just because they were hers #cause he hates his sister for some fucking reason. #when she's genuinely the nicest and kindest person i've ever met in my whole family like???

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not complaining about my sex/love life?

A bit nsfw. I'll try to keep it vague.

So I (31FTM) came out and transitioned about 5 years ago. My husband (34, cis M) and I were married beforehand. He was extremely relieved, as he had realized he was gay and didn't know how to tell me. It's like a fairy tale if Disney thought we were marketable 💜 just a bit of context to what happened next.

I have a group of friends, straight cis women my age, who knew me pretransition. They were relatively supportive, minus a few confused questions and a couple of comments early on about how hard it was to remember my name.

I was out to brunch with 3 of them (K, S, L, all early 30s/late 20s). L is engaged, S recently got serious with a guy, and K is perpetually single.

We were all chatting and eventually got on the topic of romance. S was complaining that her boyfriend never did the dishes. L laughed and said she had to essentially train her fiance to do certain household chores. K piped up with some sort of "men are the worst" comment, which I just sort of ignored, until she turned to me and said "So what gets on your nerves about YOUR husband, OP?"

I shrugged and said that sometimes he leaves his socks on the floor, but that's about it. K rolled her eyes and said there had to be SOMETHING that pissed me off about him, like "he's bad in bed or doesn't listen to you." I snapped a little and told her that no, actually, I don't care what you say about your partners but mine is actually really great, and I love him. He's great in bed, he's very caring and passionate, he listens to me all the time, and I won't be convinced to shittalk him.

It got quiet and I just decided to leave cash for my part of the bill and leave. I went home to snuggle into my husband's arms on the couch and tell him what happened. He just laughed and said I could shittalk him if I wanted. I don't think he really got why I was so upset.

That afternoon, K texted me and said I really embarrassed her in front of everyone and wanted me to apologize for what I said. I refused and told her that I wasn't gonna apologize because she assumed I didn't like my husband and I corrected her. She called me a bitch and went radio silent. I texted S and L and asked them if they were okay, no response yet.

My husband thinks I should just apologize, but I don't want to say sorry for refusing to talk badly about someone who supported me during one of the hardest times of my life, even if he'd be fine with it. It just makes me feel wrong.

AITA?

#aita #am i the asshole

[rainey-staerie-daize]

Mom getting lazy? Telling me to lock the door behind her? When she often just leaves it unlocked without saying anything? And sometimes hanging open??

No. You get ONE lock. The one I can easily lock. The gate can fuck off.

Though it's all locked up now because Skye came home and locked it up.

#it's been a while since I've left the house completely on my own #but i remember her getting mad when I'd do the same thing because I'm running late #LITERALLY RUNNING #but she's allowed to leave everything hanging open apparently #I'm so sick of the hypocrisy #and the fact that she knows we shit-talk her behind her back because she's accidentally heard us before #but she thinks we're whining about not being spoiled or something #say you only heard the tone and not our actual words without SAYING-- #we hate the hypocrisy and double standards and the obvious favoritism toward certain children and the empty promises and-- #the next time i leave the house i AM going to leave everything open and tell her to lock it behind me #she's going to act like I'm so evil and oMg PeOpLe ArE gOiNg To EnTeR oUr HoUsE aNd CoMe RoB oR mUrDeR uS but i don't care #we live at the end of the street #and for all everyone thinks of me taking FOREVER to do things she's fine with entrusting ME to lock the doors #if she were home she'd probably be mad that i often leave them open for 5-10 minutes being locking them #or not locking them at all because she didn't say anything and i guess she expected me to notice they were hanging open? #i mean i noticed but I'm gonna act like i didn't out of spite #she doesn't yell about THOSE times probably because she realized she didn't say anything to me #or maybe it's because she's just come back from getting my siblings and just wants to get them settled in #raine's daize

[bucketofpaint]

Danny is Damian's clone.

He's well aware of it. He wasn't just any clone. He was the very first. That was the difference between Danny and other clones. He was made before the League started using brainwashing and stuff into their cloning process.

When Danny was fresh out of the tube, the League had sat him down and explained his the purpose of his existence, gave him some intense training, and immediately tossed him out into the world.

But the thing was, he just didn't care. He had absolutely no loyalty to his creators, and he had no desire to kill/kidnap his original. So he just started walking. The next thing he knew, he was at some orphanage in Illinois.

And then the rest was history. He got adopted by a pair of enthusiastic scientists and their red-head daughter, got his own name, and he could finally start living his own life.

Danny had put the past behind him and had barely even thought about it at all for a long time. That was unill his original showed up at his school.

----------------

Damien was annoyed. He was stuck at some random Illinois town (supposed to be the most haunted place in the world, which was a bunch of ludicrous.) On a transfer program. He tried convincing Father how illogical it would be, but Father had told him it would be good for him to meet new people.

___

Danny was annoyed.

"I don't understand what the big deal about him is anyways," Danny complained.

"He started being the ceo of Wayne Enterprise when he was a teenager." Sam countered.

"Ok, so, nepotism."

Sam rolled her eyes. "I still don't understand why you're so against him."

"One, billionaire. Two, Tucker is way cooler than Tim Drake.

Sam's eyes soften. " Tucker is just gone for a few weeks."

Danny's cheeks felt warm. "I never said anything about that. I just want Tucker to find a cooler role model, is all.

Sam gave him an all-knowing look. "Well, if you say so. I'm going to get in line."

Sam, all ways waited last to get in the lunch line. Claiming she didn't want to hold up line when the lunch ladies had to get the vegetarian option. Which was fine, but now that Tucker was doing the dumb transfer student program, all he could do was eat his mediocre lunch and mindlessly play on his phone.

Untill someone grabbed his arm and dragged him out of the cafeteria into the hallway. Danny turned around to face the person. He froze at the sight of his own face. Or well, a glaring rich kid version.

"Oh, it's you." Danny said nonchalant, even though he was screaming inside.

"You're not going to play dumb, clone?"

"No, why would I, The resemblance is uncanny.

"What are you doing here?" His original demanded

"You dragged me here."

His original scowled. "You know what I mean, clone. I won't hesitate to end you."

"Just trying to go to school, honest."

Original glared at him, scanning him with his eyes. The grip on Danny's arm loosened. " I'll be watching you, clone."

" Whatever you say, template."

Danny walked back to the cafeteria, blocking out the yells of rage behind him.

___

It was about a week of Damian watching his clone, and he was confused. At first, he thought the league sent the clone to trade places with him before he went back to Gotham, but now he wasn't sure. The Clone seemed to fit in the community to well to have show up recently, but that didn't disprove the theory entirely. It could be a long-term plan from the League. They could be responsible for putting the transfer program in place in the first place.

The other theory was that the clone escaped and made a life for himself, but that didn't explain how he got past his programming.

After the last period, Damian found his clone and pulled him aside.

"What do you want?" His clone asked, irritated.

"You're different then other clones, explain."

"I don't know. I didn't really stick around very long to find out."

"What about your programming?"

"I didn't have any?"

Damian thought about it before giving a small nod. "You don't seem to be a threat, but I'll still keep my eye on you, clone."

"I've got a name, you know." He held out his hand. "Danny Fenton, nice to make your acquaintance."

Damian heistently shook his hand. "Damian Wayne."

That started their unsaid agreement. You don't mess with me, I don’t mess with you. They interacted with each other sometimes, but not very offen. They were impartial to one another, and both sides weren't very keen on getting to know each other. And that was their relationship till the day Damian was leaving.

Damian was waiting for the bus when Danny approached him.

"What do you want, Daniel?"

"I told not to call me that, but uh, here." Danny handed a piece of paper to him. "It's my phone number if you ever need help from the League or anything."

Damian slipped the paper into his pocket. "Give me your phone." Danny handed over his phone, and Damian started typing.

"What are you doing?" Danny asked.

"I'm putting my number in. If you ever require assistance."

Danny smiled, "Thanks."

____

A few months later.

Tim was peeking over a corner.

"What are you doing?" Dick asked.

Tim didn't say anything and just waved him over. He walked over and stared in aw at what he saw. Damian was slouched on the couch, his hair messy, playing on his phone.

A few minutes later, Jason joined.

"Am I hallucinating?" Tim whispered.

"Nah, I don't think so... unless we're all hallucinating." Jason whispered back.

"Do you think he has brain damage or been possessed or something?" Tim asked.

Dick shook his head. "That seems unlikely."

"This is so trippy. I've never seen him wear anything that casually like ever.

"What are you imbeciles doing?"

"We're watching Damian."

All three of them froze and turned to look at a glaring Damian.

Damian walked past them and went right up to the second Damian.

"Daniel, what are you doing here?"

The causal Damian 'Daniel' pulled out a letter. "Your pops invited me, and I didn’t want to risk the chance of batman showing up at my front door."

Damian scoffed, "Of course, Father found out."

Alfred walked in. "Master Daniel, I'll be taking you to Master Bruce."

The double got up and went to Alfred.

"Cookie, Master Daniel?"

"Sure, and call me danny."

#dp x dc #dc x dp #danny is a clone

[thebibliosphere]

Talking in a group chat with some fellow author friends earlier, and the subject of our book reviews came up. As in, "What's the favorite thing anyone's ever said about your book?" type thing.

I had to pause and think about it because people have said a lot of nice things about my work. That it's the queer goth love child of Jane Austen meets Terry Pratchett, for one. That Nathan's disability arc meant the world to them. That Vlad's blatant neurodivergence made them feel seen. That Ursula's profound loneliness made them feel less alone.

But the one thing I see time and time again that makes me smile is the word "comfort." So that's the one I went with. That people find my work comfortable.

So you can imagine my surprise when someone chimed in going, "Noo, don't say that! Your work is so good!"

I won't lie, it took me a solid ten to twenty seconds to realize that she thought someone describing my work as being "comfortable" was an insult and not one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me.

And maybe I'm just several types of mentally ill, chronically ill, and too beaten down by the world, but I do not understand what is wrong with comfort. Comfort, for me, is a physically unobtainable goal. You might as well rank it up there with getting transported into another world and becoming Queen of the Fae. For me, reading comfortable narratives where people get taken care of with compassion and love is a fantasy.

And, like, just objectively speaking, something being comfortable doesn't mean it's not good.

It doesn't mean it's not thought provoking. It doesn't mean conflict-free or lacking moral dilemmas. It means people feel safe reading it, knowing those things will be resolved.

I'm not trying to keep my readers on edge with anxiety, always wondering where the next plot twist will come in. That's not my style of writing. It's not my goal. It's fine if it's yours, but like... Comfort is not an insult, and it makes me a little sad to think some people think it is.

[tinycoffeeroom]

just friends | lando norris

face claim: none ♡

request: here !

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

📍 sass cafe, monaco

👤 bffstagram, landonorris liked by bffstagram, landonorris and 59,203 others

y/nstagram dj lando came out of retirement for the night🤠

landonorris 😎 only for you xx ↳ y/nstagram i'm honoured mr norris 🫡 ↳ fan i love my besties who don't know they're my besties

bffstagram bro my tummy hurts ↳ y/nstagram i'm coming round with coffee and croissants you big baby ↳ bffstagram i love my gf ♥️ y/nstagram

fan i wanna party with y/nlando so BAD dude ↳ y/nstagram if you ever find yourself in monaco hmu xx

user ew flipping off the camera so ladylike ↳ y/nstagram idk your mum quite likes my fingers 🫶 ↳ fan ☠️☠️☠️ i love her

fan bffstagram is so hot, i need her ↳ bffstagram thank u babycakes 💗

liked by bffstagram, lilymhe and 69,928 others

y/nstagram rainy days in monaco 🌧️

lilymhe i deserve financial compensation for the emotional turmoil tfios sent me through ↳ y/nstagram don't,,, sat and sobbed my eyes out at the last 100 pages

fan how to lose a guy in 10 days... tfios... who hurt you y/n? ↳ y/nstagram hahahah nothing like that! i promise i'm all good!

bffstagram i still have a headache from crying at that book, next time i choose what we're reading for book club ↳ y/nstagram BORINGGGGG who doesn't love doomed romance? ↳ fan you guys have a book club? thats so cute 😭 ↳ y/nstagram yep! it's me, bff, kika, lily and flavy!! ↳ alexandrasaintmleux and no one thought to invite me?? ↳ y/nstagram come join us babe!! ❤️

landonorris wow, didn't take you for a sappy romance reader ↳ y/nstagram there's a lot you don't know about me comment deleted ↳ y/nstagram tfios can make even the iciest bitch cry (it's me, i'm the icy bitch)

landonorris also answer ur damn texts ↳ y/nstagram sorry idk how to read suddenly ↳ fan The Lando Norris gets aired, there's hope for the rest of the bitchless community ↳ landonorris dude...

liked by fan, fan and 103,028 others

f1gossip Eagle eyed Sass Cafe goers managed to capture Lando Norris getting cosy with an unknown blonde girl. Rumoured girlfriend Y/N L/N was nowhere to be seen. Trouble in paradise for the young duo?

fan delete this rn y'all are fucking up my y/nlando chances

fan rumoured girlfriend?? i thought they were just friends ↳ fan that's what they both say, but they're always very close whenever they've been seen out together ↳ fan i'm pretty sure there was like a super grainy photo of them kissing but you can't really tell if it's either of them ↳ fan hey how about we don't speculate on people's love lives???

fan y/n has been absent from social media for like a month too ... its so over for us y/nlando'ers

fan her instagram is girlstagram! from what i could see before she went private, she posted a selfie of her and lando and they looked very close ↳ fan damn the fbi needs to hire you or smth

liked by bffstagram, estebanocon and 65,928 others

y/nstagram thuggin it out (i've listened to your best american girl 34 times today i think bffstagram is about to smother me with a pillow)

fan um who hurt my bestie ???

fan whoever hurt y/n must die at the hand of my sword

fan lando norris i am in your walls FIX THIS

bffstagram i would never smother you xx also come out of ur room it is boring as FUCK out here ↳ y/nstagram damn cant a girl go through it in peace? ↳ bffstagram absolutely not, i have wine and nibbles get out here NEOOWWW or i'm breaking into ur room ↳ y/nstagram the door is open babygirl

fan ik this is a parasocial friendship but are you ok y/n? ☹️ we love you ↳ y/nstagram oh sweetie ❤️ i'll be fine, sometimes you just gotta be a lil sad y'know? thank you for asking, ily ❤️ ↳ fan ily, take care of yourself 🥺 ♥️ y/nstagram

estebanocon chérie, i don't know what's wrong but i hope you're ok! lets grab coffee soon, flavy misses you! ☺️ ↳ y/nstagram thank u este 🫶🥺 text me when you're free! tell flavy i love her 💗 ↳ flavy.barla i love you too 💕 ♥️ y/nstagram

fan no lando like, i have one (1) fear ↳ fan do not even speak that into the universe

fan after f1gossips post, i have my speculations ↳ fan dude, if he fumbled y/n he really will be lando nowins

liked by flavy.barla, francisca.c.gomes and 10 others

y/npriv absolutely not thuggin it out lads

flavy.barla chouchou (sweetheart) 💔 that's it, me and este are taking you out for lunch tomorrow ↳ y/nstagram nooo don't let me ruin your date time!! ↳ flavy.barla nope it's already done! este's booked that little restaurant you like on pl. du casino ↳ y/nstagram le salon rose?? oh i could do a little weep, i love you guys 😭 ↳ flavy.barla we love you so so much y/n 💕

lilymhe i will hit him with my golf clubs ↳ y/nstagram i haven't even mentioned anyone? ↳ lilymhe we all know their name rhymes with bando borris ↳ y/nstagram wdym we all know? who else knows? ↳ flavy.barla ... me ↳ alexandrasaintmleux ^ ↳ francisca.c.gomes ^ ↳ lilynzeimer ^ ↳ heidiberger_ ^ ↳ carmenmmundt ^ ↳ kellypiquet ^ ↳ iamrebeccad ^ ↳ y/nstagram ok ok i get it damn

kellypiquet want me to ask max to rear end him with his race car? ↳ y/nstagram as if max would ever be behind lando ↳ kellypiquet 😳😳😳 ↳ y/nstagram i may l*ve him but i am also a realist ↳ y/nstagram ok no i do feel bad

y/nstagram uploaded to their story

[caption 1: love of my life, apple of my eye, the thelma to my louise 💖 @/flavy.barla] [caption 2: damn stole my girl from right in front of me 😔 @/estebanocon @/flavy.barla]

seen by landonorris, flavy.barla and 67,394 others

flavy.barla mon ange (my angel), you know you're the only one for me 💕 ↳ y/nstagram tell that to your giant of a boyfriend :(

estebanocon i'm not a giant 😠 ↳ y/nstagram stop reading flavy's messages weirdo ↳ y/nstagram but on a real note, thank you for dinner, i really needed it ↳ estebanocon of course, i'm not sure what lando's done but we hate seeing you so sad ↳ y/nstagram who said it had anything to do with lando? ↳ estebanocon whenever me and flavy have an argument she pulls out the mitski lyrics, i know the signs ↳ y/nstagram that's different, you and flavy are dating ↳ estebanocon and you and lando aren't???? ↳ y/nstagram what? no? we're just friends ↳ estebanocon oh mon amie naïve (my naive friend) friends don't look at each other the way the two of you do

landonorris can we talk? seen

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

anyone interested in a part 2?

#lando norris x reader #lando norris imagine #lando norris fanfic #lando norris social media au #f1 imagine #f1 smau #f1 social media au