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withered--s0uls · 7 days

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OKAY, I think I'm done for now.

@electrozeistyking and I a little while ago talked about how GD!N would react to DAS!Cyn. They went on about in a reblog but basically he would be extremely happy bc DAS!Cyn is a separate entity to the Absolute Solver, therefore meaning she's not the one behind everything.

So at first they probably both would be extremely happy. DAS!Cyn in her own AU upon meeting N first is absolutely terrified that he might hate her after everything the AS made her do. So the fact GD!N would react very positively to her presence would be a huge a relief to her.

Now, the issue is that the "Dormant" in "Dormant" Absolute Solver is in quotations for a reason. It simply lost interest in her as a main host / had no need for her anymore. It still has admin rights over DAS!Cyn and she still has a Solver Form. Though she doesn't use it by choice bc of PTSD triggers (until possibly a specific point in Ep7 but I'm waiting for ep8 to decide).

So yeah I think that would make both GD!N and DAS!Cyn kinda anxious to put it lightly.

(More Art and stuff under cut because this crossover has been living RENT FREE IN MY HEAD)

Also fun fact

@electrozeistyking has mentioned and shown Beanie finding comfort in the sound of her fathers core.

Well funny story.

DAS!Cyn always was comforted by her brothers core back at the manor, when they first reuite at the start of Ep6 and she sees DAS!Uzi summon her Solver wings and tail, her instinct is pressing closer to DAS!Ns chest for comfort. Her memories of the Solver features are very very blurry, but she is triggered by seeing them regardless.

I thought It was cute the girls have that in common, so I decided to draw them and GD!N sleeping with the girls having their heads close to his core :3

OKAY FINALLY WE GET TO THE DOODLE PAGE

I didn't feel like fully making these so they're sketchy doodles :"

The first two are based on Zeisty saying GD!N would probably pick DAS!Cyn up and spin her around. Also you probably noticed between this doodle, the first drawing & the Tiny!N & DAS crossover post, but DAS!Cyn displays flowers on her visor to emote happiness!

The 3rd and 4th are just random interactions between the kiddos lol. I feel like Beanie probably would be happy to have another Auntie, not to mention one closer to her age so they can do silly kid stuff together. DAS!Cyn... oh boy

She would feel a whole range of emotions; grief about missing so much of her brothers life (like he has a kid ffs), guilt and self blame after finding out what happened to Uzi (she blames herself for everything the AS caused, even tho she never agreed to it) which might end up in a "slight" breakdown, anger at the AS for causing GD!N that kind of pain and eventually once she processed all those emotions she probably would be excited to get to know Beanie. Like!! Imagine finding out you have a little Niece!!

She probably would struggle to easily keep up with Beanie bc she still has motor issues like in canonverse so she's a little slower, so it'd be mostly her trying not to fall over her own feet whilst being dragged around by an excited toddler who probably even with child lock is stronger than her lmao.

Also I drew DAS!Cyn in an alternate outfit bc I wanted to actually kinda show the oil reserve canister,,,

Ok wanting to respond to the hashtags specifically bc :)) yay

Also ig this is some DAS lore fact drops lol

Yeah, DAS!Cyn kinda didn't take it well either when she first realized the AS technically can still take over if it really wanted to after she transferred bodies in an attempt to escape. Imagine getting your core nearly crushed in an attempt to flee from robo satan just to find out entity STILL can use you for their bidding. Like!!! Damn that's not fair the kid nearly fucking died trying to break free!!!

DAS!Cyn definitely would want to spare Beanie the horrors too. DAS!Cyn herself is mentally like 7-10/11 at best 6-9 at worst -- despite kids usually just saying whatever comes to mind, she repressed most AS related stuff for a reason, she definitely wouldn't share what she knows with her newfound niece

I feel things would be either super great and happy or super traumatizing depending on when in the timeline we throw DAS!Cyn at them. If she's there during ep 6-7? Oh boy. Oh no. DAS!Cyn & DAS!N have an exchange during Ep7 that would not go over so well if it was GD!N in DAS!Ns place, because it would be awfully similar to GD!Uzis death -- she doesn't die, because DAS!N can't get himself to shoot with her being so close to the AS, despite her literally shouting at him to do it and that she won't be angry, that'll be fine. -- yeah I don't think GD!N would handle that well 😭 Zeisty feel free to get the angst train rolling if you wanna add your two cents on how that'd go over -- any point before that? Probably fine. Post S1? I'd imagine also fine depending on what Ep8 throws at us (except like... look at ideas list for more info*)

I'll assume that'd be Beanie reacting to seeing DAS!Cyn having the Solver tail and possibly the glitching Solver symbol in her visor. Yeah she definitely would try to play it off and go try and hide somewhere until she can get it under control again. High stress or negative emotions causes her Solver to act up (unrelated to the AS, just her own Solver form without the entity controlling anything!!) So what I said above to her reaction to the news of GD!Uzi being dead? And possibly finding out the reason why? Yeah that might trigger her tail and wings to pop out and her to basically be reduced to a hyperventilating ball on the floor because of proceeding to blame herself for all of GD!Ns suffering due to thinking the AS actions & it being a danger are her fault

Other things I kinda wanted to doodle but didn't for now, might do at a later point;

Cyn still has a Solver Core, which is the same as a DD core (except smaller lol). So I was playing with the idea of Beanie noticing that her core sounds different from GD!Ns due to hers being severely damaged and actively leaking after the AS attempted to crush it during the body transfer. DAS!Cyn then trying to play it off

Some kind of acknowledgement of the Oil reserve canister on DAS!Cyns back, it was made by Tessa before the AS did the medurder and stuff. It's supposed to help keep the Solver in check by preventing overheating, hence why its directly connected to her chest where her core is

There was something else but it slipped my mind

Smth I'm not gonna say publicly for now until Zeisty posts something about it and/or eventually posts the chapters bc I don't want to spoil esp not bc it isn't my place to :" (if you're curious, Zeisty, lmk I can tell you in VC or DMs lol) but it partly would possibly be related to the 1st idea listed

* I have an idea for what happens to Cyns original body (the one the AS uses & that wears Tessa) post Ep8 IF Ep8 let's me do it that is. I think it could be fun to crossover that idea bc of GD!Ns ghost sight.... tho it definitely also would be fucking stressful and trauma inducing bc Solver stuff sooo yeah rip (again, if you want I could elaborate in vc or DMs on this bc I want to first wait and see what the season finale brings before I do anything "official" with this)

GD!N reacting to the information that DAS!Cyn canonly shot "Tessas" gun at the AS (well technically at its tentacles. Point being that kid fired a gun/knows how to use one) -- which again could be very interesting if we were to toss them into the same Ep7 bc that's when she does it

Possibly GD!N finding out ab the scars/cracks surrounding DAS!Cyns core bc,,, yeah

Anyways uuuhh heightbsheet bc I'm 99% sure I drew stuff inaccurate

These were actually so fun to draw and think & talk about. I'll post the GD x IC crossover once I'm done with that (yes, yes there is more than what you already saw Zeisty. Not much more but more nonetheless)

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auncyen · 4 months

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I have no idea where this goes in the ISAT dc and I need to get it out of my brain so I'm lobbing it here

I wanna make this into fic form but basically initial meeting Isabeau actually being STARRY-EYED about Siffrin. That crush came fast. Like, Isabeau left the Defenders because they wouldn't help Mirabelle and here Siffrin saw three people fighting a strong Sadness and was like "here I am!" Fighting for Vaugarde and they're not even from there. Isabeau asks where they're originally from because the clothes intrigue him and Siffrin says "nowhere in particular", they've been traveling so long they don't really consider anywhere their home, and that's like. WOW that's so cool, because while Isabeau might know they're older he doesn't think they're that much older and like. How badass is that. Just striking out on your own, surviving on your own, living free as a bird and unafraid to be quirky. It took Isabeau a long time to get to being confident and Siffrin seems so nonchalant. Sure, Isabeau is aware Siffrin's not perfect, has some shortcomings in the memory and like. communication department, but who's perfect anyway?

By the time the party reaches Dormont Isabeau is deep in that crush. He's also been paying attention to Siffrin enough to notice that like, huh, sometimes Siffrin being nonchalant kind of seems. avoidant. And sometimes he's a little worried that Siffrin took losing an eye too well, like it didn't matter? I mean he's glad they're not holding it against Bonnie or anything, but... it's just little things. He wonders what they plan on doing after the journey.

Two extremely weird days later.

And then maybe some additional explanation from Siffrin, over time, about what was going on. How he got to that point.

Isabeau is cringing at how he first interpreted Siffrin. Not because they aren't amazing! They're incredible. He just wishes he'd realized before that Siffrin wasn't strong because they struck out on their own and did their own thing, Siffrin was strong because they were surviving being cast out into a foreign world with no memory of the past and ongoing memory problems and Change, if he'd just been bold enough before to tell Siffrin he wanted to still be with them after the journey. He knows he shouldn't beat himself up about it but sometimes he thinks maybe it would have avoided the whole problem in the first place, maybe Siffrin would have looped until they got to the Head Housemaiden but then felt safe enough to end looping there if they'd already had a promise of a future. Or maybe they would have told him about the looping like. Isabeau can't imagine it would have been right away, maybe it would have taken a few loops, but at some point before having a mental breakdown

Basically I just like the idea of Isabeau having a very starry-eyed first impression of Siffrin and then post-game looking at that and being like "well I was right to love them, but wow did I miss. A lot of That."

#isat isabeau #in stars and time #in stars and time spoilers #isabeau x siffrin

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kineticallyanywhere · 4 months

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Matt "I can and will remind everyone that Link is REALLY wierd about Normal with like no real explination at this point" Arnold out here like "let me see if I can underminine my entire point in this character arc defining interaction" and I unironically love him for it Link is SUCH a messy b word rn

(this turned into a long response, let's talk Fascinating Character Flaws!)

I dont think it's so much that he's weird about Normal, if I'm understanding what you mean by 'weird', especially in this episode. I feel like it circles back to what I keep thinking about, which is his newest teen fact. the one where he-- does this count as poisoning? he made other children ill in a fit of jealousy for anyone having any time with his dads.

listen, I've had many homeschooled friends. At one point in college I was the "actually went to public school" member of the friend group. People can go in and out of homeschooling and be... not whatever the heck Link has going on. I was excited for him when that fact started, like, "oh he was part of a cohort!" until uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh!

(the following are thoughts that I'm still developing in my head as I type and probably after I post)

whether it's due to the overprotective parenting or just Link's nature or a Symptom of a Condition (op has their own Condition but is not a psychologist) Link's got an issue with like. not getting what he wants? not usually in super obvious ways, it's not spelled out, he doesn't throw tantrums or anything. unless you count the thing at Normal about Normal not wanting to do "cool plans." and most of the time he doesn't want anything complicated, his wants have been pretty straight forward and in line with what anyone would want in these circumstances. he wants people to not die is the big major one, he wants to not feel betrayed again, he wants his friends to stop fighting, he wants to get this over with NOW. and he's been going through so much of not getting what he wants (COMPLETELY REASONABLE THINGS TO WANT, IN THIS CASE. TRAUMATIC THINGS TO NOT GET) that he seems to not know what he wants at all anymore.

like, his understanding of the world has been rocked so bad that he's pretty sure all those things I just listed just aren't things he can have. in the past whenever he needled his parents or acted out or did certain things he'd get what he wanted. not to say that he's spoiled but uh... okay yeah I am saying that a bit. but mostly in the ways that it keeps him from developing the coping mechanisms for when you ask something from life and it punches you in the teeth instead.

So in a world where he doesn't know how to get what he wants and maybe he isn't sure what he even can want, he's kinda just shutting down internally. In the mean time, he may as well make sure his friends get what they want, and then maybe at some point he'll want something again. so, in a way, what he wants is to feel and want something, so that "wants what he wants" part of him snapped out again at Normal with "well at least you're feeling something." in other words, "you have the thing that I want right now, and I'm gonna sound pretty bitter about not having it myself" which is an effed up thing to say when that thing he's having is a mental breakdown.

Link. Buddy. Bud. Kiddo. Pal. you need Help.

tl;dr and conclusion: imo for their mental health the party should split into Link & Taylor and Scary & Normal again for an episode or two. Norm and Scary for hopefully obvious reasons; and Link and Taylor because while Taylor is unquestionably a rich kid spoiled for material goods who is very good at wanting things, he is also a kid who's mom knows how to say "No. Absolutely Not. Give me the knife right now I don't care what seppuku is" and who's dad left an emotional void for over a decade that he is clearly adept in coping with and he could give Link some pointers.

also because it would be a cool callback and parallel to early episodes to do those pairs again. see how they've changed and stuff

#didn't mean for this to get so long #or to read taylor for filth at the end there lol sorry taylor youre perfect #literally was self analyzing what my pet peeve is with each pc earlier #(which isn't a bad thing; thats a rounded character right there)#and i got to taylor and went 'hes perfect no notes' lol #cast darkness again kiddo i believe in you #anyway this helped me figure out my understanding of link so thank you anon!#though im still not sure i properly understand what you meant by link being weird around normal #hes been weird around everyone; i think; normal just talks the most #dndads #dndads 2 #dndads spoilers #link liwilson #ask ka #me talking

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wen-kexing-apologist · 1 year

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Heart's Vocalization Thoughts and Feelings

Hello and welcome to another round of Moonlight Chicken Posts That Literally No One @respectthepetty Specifically Asked For:

Heart Edition Round ?? i've lost count.

Mx. RTP may have gotten me hooked on red/blue through clothing but my first and truest love will always be lighting so I need everyone, but especially Professional Life Ruin-er Formerly Known as "Petty" (you're my best friend now, sorry I don't make the rules), to understand that this specific lighting ruined my life. Like on a cellular level, my body is a wasteland, my mind will never recover. Stepping in from the outside world, from Heart's world, Heart's life, Heart's home in to the rich, red, warmth of Li Ming's world, Li Ming's home. I've said it before, but I'll say it again, if my memory serves me correctly we never see Heart in warm lighting until the end of Episode 4, and we definitely don't see Heart in red lighting until Episode 5. Up until this point when Li Ming and Heart are together, there is always blue lighting on them, and especially when they are in Heart's home there is always a blue wash on the whole scene. So finally, finally we get red lighting babyyyyyy, fuck yeah!

Ok, sorry, I'm normal again.

Initial thoughts going in to the actual scene are as follows: 1. Stripes, my beloved! 2. Heart is so head over heels for Li Ming it's ridiculous.

Anyway, I love the small little smile that Heart has on his face here when Li Ming is essentially giving him an 'I told you so' to Heart about asking his Mom. I know that Li Ming sees Heart earlier on in the episode, but he isn't present for the conversation between Li Ming and his mother so regardless of whether he knows that Li Ming talked to her, I don't think he knows the specifics. But he follows this comment up with "You're smart. You can persuade her." Obviously he knows that something happened because Heart's mother has never listened to her son before, why would she start now?

So! Much! Red! Lighting! They are in love your honor. I am so grateful for every moment we get to see of Li Ming and Heart alone together having fun. They may be on the edge of adulthood, but there is still so much repressed youth in them that has been dying to get out and can't because it's been contained by parental shame, by the need to work to survive, by the nature of generational gaps and unsuccessful attempts to protect your loved ones.

When Heart and Li Ming are by themselves (with the exception of the post confrontation mental breakdown session in Ep. 5) there is so much joy between them. And look at Li Ming, he is so proud of himself here, for successfully persuading Heart's mother to let Heart leave the house. They don't have to sneak out anymore, Heart's parents are finally starting to understand that they can't make their son problem go away if they just keep Heart cooped up.

Once again like father-figure uncle like nephew, Li Ming has found himself a love interest that is also obsessed with the family cat. Honestly, this cat is living the dream, all he has to do all day is be held for approximately 30 seconds and get fed a fuck ton of treats. So far this scene is just very cute, Heart taking in his surroundings, attaching himself immediately to the cat, absolutely bathed in red light. And there is something so simple I love about the set up this moment brings to the important turning point that immediately follows...

Heart's holding the cat with both his hands. He can't text or sign.

Side Note: I am curious if Thai sign language has finger spelling.

And here we go! Heart speaks, not just vocalizes, it's not an exclamation of surprise, it's not a shuddering breath, or a sob. It's not a squeak or random sound Heart makes because he can't hear how loud he is being. Up until this point, every time we have heard a sound from Heart it has been unintentional. This is the first time we hear Heart speak. And importantly, he doesn't have to. He doesn't have to say anything. There isn't anything urgent, nothing that would require a sound to get Li Ming's immediately attention. He doesn't need to say Jimbo's name, literally right before this he looked at Li Ming and pointed to the cat. He could have ended the acknowledgement there. But he doesn't. He speaks. And he absolutely does not look at Li Ming while he does it. He keeps his eyes trained firmly on the cat in front of him.

I stole this gif from @earthpirapat because I don't know how to make them, and because I need anyone who reads this to see Li Ming's reaction in this moment. He is also looking at Jimbo, because he, like the audience, believes that Heart is going to end his acknowledgement of the cat's name by pointing to the cat. Li Ming is content to watch his friend play with his cat, and that's all he is expecting. Until "yyim-" tickles his ear, and Li Ming's head snaps straight up to Heart's face. You can tell how surprised he is at the way he pulls his head back a bit more to really look at Heart. To make sure that what just happened is actually real when he says "bo".

And I think it's important to know that Heart does not really seem hesitant to speak. He just...does it. What he is hesitant to do is look at Li Ming. He waits a full two seconds after he's said "Jimbo" to look up from the cat he is holding in his arms.

But he has nothing to worry about because when his eyes go to Li Ming, what does he see?

A puppy dog of a man, radiating excitement. Li Ming is beaming. It's funny to me a little bit that the thought has never seemed to cross Li Ming's mind that Heart, who only went deaf three years ago, is actually able to speak. But nevertheless he is thrilled.

"You can speak?" he asks, and he's chuckling a little and pausing and you can see all the gears in his head turning as he signs because it's like his whole worldview just got rocked. And GOD I love this moment so much because from the second that Heart speaks Li Ming's eyes never leave Heart. Or if they do it is literally an unconscious thing that is happening when he's trying to remember his signs. Heart puts Jimbo down and Li Ming literally folds his body in half, to follow Heart's movement, bends over to tap him on the shoulder. "Hey, you can speak?" he says again.

"Yeah? Can you speak again? I want to hear." he asks, and he's baffled. He's losing his signs. Like he is signing successfully to Heart, sure, but it's taking him much longer to create his sentence than it normally does because he's still in such shock over what just happened. That Heart can speak, that he heard his voice. His brain cannot keep up with his emotions.

The face of a man verrryyyy skeptical that his voice would be that exciting for anyone to hear.

"I"

"Want"

"To Hear"

"Your Voice"

I have no thoughts. I have no notes for this. It is just an incredibly powerful moment to me in furthering Li Ming as a safe zone for Heart, as someone trusted and precious. Each sign is deliberate. This is a deliberate request. This isn't a question built on surprise, "wait wait do it again" this is specific. "I want to hear your voice"

Look how pleasantly surprised Heart is. Look how happy, how bewitched he is in this moment. A few weeks back, I wrote a post analyzing Heart's communication. At the time I wrote it, I was doing a lot of speculating about Heart and his ability to talk and what it meant for the character if he could versus if he couldn't. The tl;dr version was me essentially wondering how much agency Heart has over his own isolation. Is he capable of talking and chooses not to to test the people around him, maintaining control of his own isolation, with speaking as a lifeline, or because Thai is a tonal language did he lose the ability to speak because not being able to hear might impede his ability to make distinct tones. Either way he has the ability to talk, it's a matter of whether or not he could be understood if he did vocalize his words.

I got a pretty quick reply from @littlederxxnged with a link to this Tweet quoting P'Aof and Heart's voice:

And if this quote is real, if the reason Heart doesn't speak is because he lacks the confidence to, this makes the scene all the more important and all the more wonderful for me. Because it's showing us, the audience, that Li Ming makes Heart feel confident. Li Ming makes Heart brave.

And I love that I don't get a sense of fear from Heart in any of this. Surprise? Yes. Confusion? Yes. Skepticism? A bit. Hesitation? Absolutely. But it doesn't seem to come from a place of fear. Heart is not afraid of using his voice around Li Ming, and he is never afraid of what Li Ming's reaction will be. He certainly has no idea what Li Ming's reaction will be, but it shows how much trust these two have built in one another, that Heart feels safe enough with Li Ming to test his voice.

I don't know if Heart will speak again the show. I don't care if he does. Speaking is not his primary language anymore and he doesn't owe his voice to anyone. I just want to establish that before I say I find it so much more special that Heart says his own name, rather than Li Ming's here. Why? Because the way I interpret Heart's character at this point is a man who is far more certain about what he wants out of life, now that he is able to live his life again. We get to hear Heart's name, we get to hear Heart speak for himself.

Something really cute about this moment as well is Li Ming's reaction. "I heard you just say your name!" I love that he signs to Heart what he heard. I love it so much. We know that Heart is hesitant to speak, and it takes him a second to get the word out, and I'm sure he can feel the vibrations of his vocal chords when he says his name, but he can't hear it. Li Ming is SO obviously happy, so obviously thrilled.

But this is about Heart, Li Ming's feelings have nothing to do with it. Okay, Li Ming's feelings have everything to do with it for Heart. But Li Ming's initial, gut-reaction response to hearing Heart, hesitantly say his name, is to hype the ever-loving FUCK out of that boy.

"You're great! You're awesome! How can you speak? You're so great. I'm happy." and GOD Heart can't even hear him say it. Li Ming isn't signing here, I mean he is very obviously happy, and very obviously showering Heart in praise. But Heart cannot hear him. For most of the hug he can't even read Li Ming's lips. But the pride, the joy, the excitement is so palpable. He's jumping up and down, you don't really need to hear his words to feel how happy he is about what just happened.

He pulls back "How could you do it? I'm happy. Can you see? I'm so happy," He is talking so fast. He is talking so so fast. He cannot contain himself. But he has integrated himself so much into Heart's life, that despite the fact that he is fully forgetting to sign here, he is touching Heart, he is jumping up and. down with Heart, he is showing Heart how much being trusted with his voice means to him.

Sweet baby angel, you are talking so fast. He sees a bunch of words coming out of your mouth but does not hear what you are saying. And he looks confused because he definitely did not anticipate this strong of a positive reaction to just saying his name. Especially when you consider he isn't confident in his voice. He looks confused because he almost certainly did not anticipate this outcome.

(Ignore the subtitles on that second picture, focus on Heart's smile)

Does Heart owe us his voice? No. Did we ever need to know if he could speak? No. Does this moment hit particular hard after the confrontation scene last episode concerning the use of the term "mute" in reference to Heart. Absolutely. We saw how much it hurt Heart to learn his mother refers to him as mute.

We know Heart has to beg Li Ming to even tell him what she said, Heart can see how much Li Ming hesitated to deliver that blow. He saw how strongly Li Ming was standing against his parents, he's a smart kid. He might not be able to follow the full conversation cause it's happening quickly, and they are shouting which fucks with lip shape to read lips, and Li Ming and his mother are both facing away from him. But he knows his mother said something bad, he knows Li Ming defended him.

It is so so so so so SO important to me that Heart decides to speak in this moment. That he uses his voice casually, to say a cat's name, in private, with just the two of them.

Heart's voice is not a commodity, it's not a novelty. It's a gift. And Li Ming treats it as such. Heart is being vulnerable with Li Ming. Heart hasn't spoken to anyone in three years, and when he does speak in front of Li Ming for the first time Li Ming literally cannot contain his joy. I love how many times the camera cuts to Heart's face in this, to show us to tell us that Heart loves this. That he is surprised by it, but that he is more than happy to speak again, that he is smiling the whole time because he knows how important it is to Li Ming. Because it's important to him too.

If you finished this whole post, congratulations you have won an invisible medal.

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goldiipond · 1 year

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ray tpn is autistic and i'm gonna tell you why now

ray is one of the most heavily autistic-coded characters i can think of, and i've been wanting to write up a post going over as many of his autistic mannerisms as i can because there is a lot. this will probably be long because i am also autistic and i am especially autistic about ray, so please enjoy while i psychoanalyze this anime boy with way more scrutiny than anyone would consider healthy <3

body language

perhaps one of the strongest arguments for ray's autism can be made by looking at his body language. ray tries to keep a stoic, neutral expression and voice the majority of the time (though he's often quite. bad at that too) but he is always extremely expressive through his movements and gestures, the most noticeable of which being the use of his hands. pretty much every character uses hand gestures, but ray is ridiculously excessive. it'd take frankly way too long to compile every instance of this (or even half) throughout the manga, so here's a small collection of gestures from s1 of the anime to give an idea:

note that this is not even close to all of them and that he's exactly like this in the manga as well, though the animation and its use of snappy, exaggerated movements does help to make these much more noticeable.

moving away from his hands there's also just a lot of really expressive full-body language as well, such as this friendly chokehold:

this dramatic shrug:

and this even more dramatic flop:

just to name a few. basically, ray has a thing for grand unnecessary movements and no one is surprised.

poor emotional regulation and masking

as i mentioned before, ray tries really really hard to bottle up his emotions and keep a sort of stoic persona during his time at gracefield. he's also really really bad at doing this. not terrible, as he was able to keep up a believable enough front that none of the other kids saw anything odd about his behavior for 6 years, but that's also because he deals with so much more stress once the events of the escape arc actually get going. there is a stark difference between his quiet and detached demeanor while emma and norman are still in the dark about the house, and him nearly having a meltdown every time something strays from his meticulously crafted plans while they actually begin making their preparations to escape over the course of the arc.

just a few examples of this include him nearly having a breakdown when emma insists on taking everyone:

or one of my favorite anime exclusive moments where he strains his voice while yelling at isabella to the point he breaks into a coughing fit:

and it's not just big flashy meltdowns, but little bursts of anger as well. shoutout to this moment in particular where he launches this bucket with enough force to tear up a bit of the damn ground:

this emotional instability can be seen after the escape as well, the most glaring example being how he interacts with yuugo:

their dynamic in general really does a good job of showing ray’s mental state after the escape, because pre-goldy pond yuugo is An Asshole. and ray is so, so easy to piss off and quite frankly tired from bottling up his emotions for so long that every interaction with said asshole is a massive struggle to keep himself from physically attacking him.

as for the topic of masking, that’s what ray’s attempts to hide his emotions feel like to me. ray is constantly in danger of losing isabella’s trust, whether that be by revealing he may be a little more attached to the other kids than he lets on or by showing too much emotion that the other kids start to wonder what the hell’s going on. ray has to constantly hide and cover up his emotions with more palatable ones for others out of fear of looking out of place or being seriously hurt, and well if that doesn’t just describe autistic masking to a tee i don’t know what does.

maybe one of the things that gets me the most about that is that he's essentially been masking for about half of his life, and doing that for any extended period of time is extremely draining. ray has been drained to the point that he will have full meltdowns when put under any sort of stress and when you take into account the fact that he already has pretty severe anger issues as a result of his trauma, it's really no wonder he has such a short fuse.

lack of a filter when speaking

ray is a very blunt person. he speaks matter-of-factly and he wastes no time in getting straight to his point, sometimes with only a single sentence:

the way he talks is also pretty significant, as he generally has a more monotone way of speaking. he really only yells when he gets really worked up which like i said, happens a lot, but there’s almost no inbetween for him. pre-escape, he tries to show as little emotion in his voice as possible outside of his outbursts.

as for post-escape ray, he does seem to show much more emotion in the way he speaks. its a bit harder to judge, as nothing past the escape arc was ever adapted into the anime (s2 isnt real it cant hurt you) but his facial expressions become much more varied and it’s easy to say his vocal inflections likely do as well. however, what we can say for sure is that he remains just as blunt as ever:

no matter how comfortable he becomes with expressing himself, this aspect of his speech never seems to change.

while we’re on the topic of his speaking mannerisms please also direct your attention to these panels:

these need no explanation.

sensory issues. so many sensory issues

briefly moving back to the subject of ray’s hands, i couldn’t help but notice during my countless s1 rewatches that they are almost never just resting at his sides. if he's not using his hands for unnecessary gestures they are either shoved into his pockets, or he's crossing his arms. it's very likely his arms default to these positions because they offer a sort of sense of security, the former keeping his hands covered and the latter keeping him more closed off, almost like he's constantly hugging himself. basically, ray is a 'likes to feel covered and secure' autistic and if he was buried in weighted blankets he'd probably love it.

also tying into the ‘likes to feel covered’ aspect of ray’s autism is this scarf he acquires sometime during the volume 12 timeskip:

it’s a well known autistic thing to get attached to articles of clothing and wear them as much as possible, and boy does ray get attached to this scarf. i can count 2 post-timeskip scenes off the top of my head that have him not wearing this scarf, and the image on the right takes place a full 2 years after the left one in canon. he has no explicitly stated emotional attachment to this scarf and we don’t even know how he got it, just that he almost never takes it off. it could easily be seen as a comfort item, maybe he just likes the way the fabric feels or the extra coverage it offers him. there is post-canon content that depicts him without it, but the fact that he wore it almost nonstop for at least 2 years straight is still pretty significant.

another sensory thing i feel is worth mentioning is that ray seems to have a very specific tolerance threshold for physical contact. he seems fine initiating touch himself, and touches from emma and norman are generally alright, likely because they are the only people he has openly allowed himself to be close with his entire life. sudden touches from others however, are a different story. the one that immediately comes to mind is this interaction with don:

don in particular is someone ray becomes pretty close to, and i would say that besides the obvious growth with emma and norman, don is likely the person we see the most development with with in terms of their relationship. him having this reaction to a hug from someone he’s so close to seems indicative of some issues with unexpected contact.

and finally one of my absolute favorite things the anime added, which is ray experiencing what looks a lot like sensory overload:

this takes place right after the argument with isabella, which ended with him being knocked to the floor and locked up in a room by himself, so its needless to say that he’s pretty shaken up. he gets so overwhelmed that all he can do is yell and desperately reach for any sort of stimulation to keep him grounded, curling in on himself and aggressively ruffling up his hair. i genuinely cannot think of an allistic explanation for this scene.

and basically, he is just so autistic

all in all, theres some pretty damn solid evidence for ray being autistic and whether it was intentional or not, the sheer amount of autism-coding present in ray’s writing is almost impossible to ignore. i love some good projection but i don’t even need to do that much, hes just doing this all on his own. in conclusion:

#skye's ramblings #WELL. IT TOOK ABT AN ENTIRE DAY BUT HERE IT IS. READ MY ESSAY BOY #thank god for tublrs extended image limit am i right. had to switch to my laptop a third of the way through so it would let me add more <3 #and small shoutout to @fullscoreshenanigans for telling me how to make the gifs HGFGKJD #anywyay i had fun w this ray is so dear to me didyou know i love ray. ray #i am going to do something wild (putting a non-art post in the main tags) so hi tpn fandom i talk a lot. here's autism #the promised neverland #tpn #yakusoku no neverland #tpn ray

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thegoodending-thelasttime · 4 months

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my reaction to the resident lover lore drop: part two

access the doc yourself here

spoilers utc

DONNA CONTD

i have a lot to say about the the donna and daniela relationship section, none of which i feel capable of putting into words for the time being. i will, however, say this.

"Donna is watching what could've been in regards to her past self when it comes to Dani and MC"

"Just sometimes [Donna] really wants to hit [Cassandra] you know?" i think a lot of people in the fandom know after Cass' infamous neutral ending

"She grieves but she lets herself live too." all the muscles in my face are convulsing

"Donna struggles to stand up for herself for a long portion of her route and only through the aid of MC will she start to show a little more of her backbone." Donna. i can help you be brave Donna. pick me. choose me. love me. (delusional 3)

"There is a brief scene in which Miranda and Donna are having tea while Donna has a complete and utter breakdown about just how on the edge she is. Miranda of course encourages her to keep spiraling..." miranda i'm going to get you.

"Donna is mentally unstable at this point and can either be sent into the abyss or helped out of the low point toward a brighter future." I CAN HELP YOU TOWARD A BRIGHTER FUTURE DONNA I SWEAR PLEASE (delusional 4)

Depression being a theme is just. I'm going to write a hurt/comfort fic about this.

and, "Destiny [Soulmates]" don't think I'm normal about that either. cuz i'm not.

the nursery being an allegory for Donna. my brain feels like a backyard and you're mowing it with a tiny little lawnmower.

"Hades and Persephone" words. in my mind.

glad that Donna fans unknowingly cracked phantom of the opera though, that's fun

"...she is not unwilling to lunge towards Miranda herself and brandish a weapon in her direction." she's so real for this

"Miranda has had to trigger the loop several times in reaction to a violent outburst of Donna’s." WOOOO YOU GO BABE. FUCK UP MIRANDA'S LIVES HELL YEAH

"MC shows unconditional and unwavering love towards someone with severe abandonment issues and gets a very attached flower shop owner for their troubles." SHUT UP MY HEART.

"...a small part of her is pleased to know she got the upper hand on Miranda. Donna’s ability to make MC explicitly reject Miranda has left the goddess incredibly pissed..." FUCK YEAH

"Post Donna Miranda is particularly cruel about how she treats the toxicologist and parades MC near her but never in reach." top five sentences that make you want to kill a cult leader

"LIKES: Stuffed Animals..." help i love her so much my heart really can't take this

"LIKES: Pranks. I’m sorry she’s a menace" i'll prank her back (by kissing her on the face)

"DISLIKES: Those really sad adoption commercials where they play ‘I Will Remember You’ while a slideshow of really sad puppies plays. They make her cry" NO DONNA POOKIE BEAR DON'T CRY COME HER LET ME HUG YOU

"DISLIKES: Miranda" OMG SHE DISLIKES MIRANDA TOO (shocker) !?!?! WE'RE SO SIMILAR WE SHOULD MARRY ACTUALLY

MIRANDA

MC and miranda being burned alive the first time around. man wtf

love that they were both canonically sickly victiorian children at one point

"Death penalty for sodomy" that actually has me so fucked up. how could you do this to me

"[MC] Drowned, Miranda was nearby but chose not to save them" WHAT WHY

"Mia got mad and threw a stone at MC" i would get mad too if i saw someone repeatedly fall for miranda over the course of multiple timelines

"Miranda ran MC over in an accident" HELP 💀

miranda really fell for the unluckiest motherfucker goddamn. tom and jerry ass

"Yes + Mia" "No + Mia" best way to word this. i will be using these from now on. ask me a yes/no question i dare you.

"This life is when the very first iteration of Eva is born and it completely changes Miranda’s soul as a confounding variable in their soulmate-hood" oh my GOD. i'm a little scared miranda's section might be making me start to like her a little.. NO I REFUSE. THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING.

"Toxic Yuri + Loving" thank you Cinder. i appreciate you for your silliness.

really wish we got more eva content but oh well. maybe in the dlc content the team said would probably come out in a few years/maybe more

"Mia’s soul has slowly changed over time and has grown to naturally despise Miranda’s soul for its unwitting part in MCs death every life" nvm i like Mia infinitely more than miranda

"Mia acts as a foil to Miranda’s relationship in every life they meet because she is - without fail - naturally resistant to them being together and highly suspicious of the way Miranda behaves" FUCK MOTHER MIRANDA ALL MY HOMIES HATE MOTHER MIRANDA. MIA'S A REAL ONE.

"[Bela and Miranda] would be insane if they worked together, but unfortunately, they are narratively designed to be pitted against each other" i disagree i think it's very fortunate they're not on the same team

"Miranda is afraid of [Donna] because she remembers every single time loop... Donna is also handy with sharp objects and has been known to attempt a few murders at meetings when pushed..." fuck yeah. be afraid miranda.

"...views Donna as “cursed” due to her family history of deaths" can i say kys just this once (to miranda).

"Intrinsically offended when MC chose Donna during the loop" be offended. L + bozo + cry about it + Donna's better

"[Donna and Miranda have] used each other as crutches in moments of weakness... they used to have regular tea together in which they would act out their familial roles and encourage each other further down their spirals" i'm actually not okay rn thanks for asking!

...that legitimately has me so fucked up

"Miranda actively encourages Donna’s fears to keep her under control..." "She would kill Angie to both punish Donna and to relieve herself of the annoyance" hey miranda come here. what do you mean, i don't have anything in my pocket. don't worry about it just come here. so i can... hug you. SHANKS YOU MIA STYLE BUT IT ACTUALLY WORKS THIS TIME SHANKS YOU MIA STYLE BUT IT ACTUALLY WORKS THIS TIME SHANKS YOU MIA STYLE BUT IT ACTUALLY WORKS THIS TIME

"Miranda and MC are soulmates, all the way up to their 19th life this is 100% proven and true (even though they don't always get to meet) but the 20th life is different because Miranda is still in her 19th. It could be argued that MCs soulmate is who 20th Miranda was supposed to be. (Could've been if a coin had been flipped)." I'M ACTUALLY HYPERVENTILATING RIGHT NOW THANK YOU FOR FEEDING USTHANKYOU MY HEART OH MY FUCKIUNG GOD ASDFGUIHUADSDHLFKAJHSDFKLGJHDAFKJG. I BANGED ON MY DESK THAT'S NOT EVEN A JOKE WHAT THE ACTUASL FUCK

"MC would go into divorce arc which is salvageable but very long winded" need yall to elaborate on this, also it made me giggle

"The only exceptions are Mia (who told Miranda to fuck off), Bela (who still remembered), and Angie (who doesn’t listen to anybody)." that's so based of all of them. naming them the based squad for this.

"DISLIKES: Her height being mentioned" i don't care if it's a low blow and that she's actually one inch taller than me. i'll call her short. short ass. imagine being 5'6" lmao

part three coming up

#resident lover #resident lover lore #resident lover spoilers #resident lover donna #resident lover donna beneviento #resident lover daniela #resident lover daniela dimitrescu #resident lover mc #resident lover bela #resident lover bela dimitrescu #resident lover mia #resident lover mia winters #resident lover angie #resident lover angie beneviento #resident lover miranda #resident lover mother miranda #resident lover cassandra #resident lover cassandra dimitrescu #resident lover eva

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burby2007 · 1 month

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I need to apologize I need to take a break for a while I might occasionally post something Eddsworld related but yeah going to take a break I'm a very mentally ill person and sometimes during a mental breakdowns I do some not great things mostly just cry and wish death upon myself and tell people that they deserve so much better than me which sadly I still agree with I generally don't understand why anybody wants to do with me but they do the main reason why I wanted to take a break because of my disappointment in the team on Eddsworld

I don't dislike them but there's certain attributes about the team that I'm not a big fan of me and one of my friends agree that Matt's kind of seems a little greedy now I know especially one of my fans / friends will disagree and you know what she has the right to feel that way I like Matt but he's kind of seeming like he's a little greedy with certain things but that's just me no one's truly perfect I'm not a big fan though so they did the Yootuz thing with tord like the man just wants to be left alone you probably what about the end part 1 and 2 honestly yeah it's kind of the same thing but when it comes to that at least it actually has some married to it because without tord it really would have been the end.

Anyways here's my opinion about the crew the animators no issue with really honestly I like no issue with 90% of the crew the only ones I have an issue with is really just I think I'll have an issue with Matt possibly to be fair I can judge him completely though we truly don't know what's going on behind the scenes and I guess diei because I texted him and he has never responded for like 2 weeks and it really bothers me even though he said he's busy a lot but at this point I just gave up sorry that he doesn't like me or something.

Also another issue I have is Beyond's kind of slowly going downhill like the comedies kind of stretched out and honestly that's all it's more commercialized and it's ever been which that I'm nutshell isn't bad but the marketing is like so forced it's kind of annoying and honestly like Tom's voice actor like makes a kind of worse because it's like it's like such a marketing voice it's kind of sad but you know he's a good voice actor so I can't hate him too much now with all these criticisms towards the crew do I hate Eddsworld no do I need to take a break from them yes it does not help the fact I am still grieving over my father in my mental health is slowly decreased ever since his passing and I worry that I'm going to say something wrong so I should probably take a break.

That doesn't mean I'm completely done with Eddsworld forever though I think I'm forever stuck to it call me edd head addict if you will but I think it's time for me to step down for a little bit I hope you all be okay and understand it it might not be a long break to be honest cuz my attention spans like a nutshell so I don't know I do know one thing I'll never talk any of the Eddsworld members ever again Miuns if they want to talk to me or something which we all know they don't want to. But yeah um its edd day soo yeah im tried so gn

I love you edward

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cerealandchoccymilk · 11 months

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Trigun Bookclub: Vash's Speech (FLOP EDITION...)

all bookclub posts

so i wrote this entire thing over a span of a day and a half. and found out just as i was finishing it that the ultradeep™ vash lore analysis point i wanted to make is actually NOT in the og trigun. [here's my mental breakdown post lol]

but i spent so much time and energy on this that i cant just say whelp! and delete it... so i'm posting it anyways. the straight-up incorrect parts are crossed out and some post-realization notes are in red. theres also a few paragraphs of postscript commentary/rambling in purple at the end of the post.

read it if youre bored i guess. but take it all with a grain of salt.

in the future (once we get to trimax vash+knives interaction) i will write the version of this that my memory intended, with an actual conclusion that makes sense lol

Mini-entry this time because I got consumed by linguistics brain worms :P But I wanted to make sure I talked about Vash's speech and his usage of pronouns!

A bit of background before we get into the analysis:

Japanese pronouns are very different from English. As the Wikipedia page puts it, "The use of pronouns, especially when referring to oneself and speaking in the first person, vary between gender, formality, dialect and region where Japanese is spoken."

The styles of spoken Japanese in general are another can of worms.... They're similar worms so I'll be touching on them a little, but it's not that relevant yet.

In real life, people have multiple pronouns (and speech styles) that they switch between depending on the situation, like with friends and family, at work, in front of kids, etc. For example, I primarily use 俺 online (along with joke/slang pronouns for funsies like 漏れ or おれっち), 自分 or 僕 in public depending on the person, and 私 in closeted situations. My cis male JP-school classmate uses 俺 with friends/family, used to use 私 in class at first, and then transitioned to 僕 as he got more familiar with the teachers.

Although this sort of code-switching happens all the time IRL, it's way less frequently illustrated in fiction, both for consistency's sake and because fictional characters just don't care as much about status. That's why I thought what's going on with Vash is particularly interesting!

Details continued below...

--original readmore position--

Here are the connotations for the two first-person pronouns that Vash uses (pulled from Wikipedia):

ore/おれ/俺 - informal - males - Frequently used by men. Establishes a sense of "masculinity". Can be seen as rude depending on the context. Emphasises one's own status when used with peers and with those who are younger or of lesser status. Among close friends or family, its use conveys familiarity rather than "masculinity" or superiority. It was used also by women until the late Edo period and still is in some dialects. Also oi in Kyushu dialect.

boku/ぼく/僕 - formal/informal - males - Used by males of all ages; very often used by boys; can be used by females but then carries tomboyish or feminist connotations. Perceived as humble, but can also carry an undertone of "feeling young" when used by males of older age. Also used when casually giving deference; "servant" uses the same kanji (僕 shimobe). Can also be used as a second-person pronoun toward male children (English equivalent – "kid" or "squirt").

(the usage of boku as a 2pp is actually part of a different phenomenon--if you're interested in that kotolabo's video explains it better than i ever could (eng captions available))

And these are the notes for every time Vash has used a first-person pronoun in the span that I've analyzed so far, which is until Chapter #06. I'll be adding onto this in the future as my annotations continue. no need anymore. i skimmed the rest and found out that, aside from a childhood flashback, vash uses exclusively ore after chapter #05.

The first instance is in Chapter #02, when he cries in French.

「なぜ僕がこんな目にあうのママン　何も悪いことしてないのにみんなが僕を狙うよママン」（独り言） "Why do things like this keep happening to me, maman? I don't do anything bad, but everyone's always after me, maman!" (to himself)

Here he uses boku, the softer pronoun. However, because he's putting on a "helpless French boy" persona, this one actually doesn't say much about Vash (other than that he's being silly).

The second time is later in the same chapter, when surrounded by the women of April City.

「奴に…会うまでは！！　俺は立ち止まる訳にはいかないんだ！！」（主婦たち） "Until I see him again... I cannot afford to stop moving!" (Housewives)

This time he uses ore, the rougher and more masculine pronoun. The situation is very tense; he has several guns pointed at him. This is also the first instance we see the trauma and hurt Vash holds inside. Overall he's very desperate here. We can see in a bit that ore is his "default." He drops his usual polite/kind tone to be as sincere as he can with the women. I think he can't afford to code-switch and be polite because this is a very personal and emotional moment for him. This doesn't mean his tone is necessarily rude (in-universe!!! probably better not to talk to strangers like this IRL); he still uses relatively soft language.

The next two are in Chapter #04, both when he refuses the sandsteamer guy's job offers.

「やだやだやだやだ　僕は争いごと嫌いなの！！」（砂蒸気の人） "No, no, no, no! I don't like trouble!" (Sandsteamer guy)

「僕は客なの！！この車の警備態勢にはチョーー期待してるからヨロシクね！！」（砂蒸気の人） "I am a passenger! I have great faith in your security, so I entrust everything to you, okay?" (Sandsteamer guy)

He uses boku here. As we'll see in future instances, this is the pronoun he uses in front of other people and is the one he chooses most frequently. He constantly avoids trouble, so he always uses soft language and the humbler pronoun. nope it was just out of politeness towards a stranger and trying to sound less assertive/more harmless(?) to get out of the situation

In the next page, Vash talks to himself during his piss break.

「…まったくもう　保険屋の2人組といい…　俺(おら)ァもっとひっそりとやってきたいのに」（独り言） "...Jeez! As if those two insurance girls weren't already enough... I was hoping for a nice, quiet trip." (to himself)

Although the pronunciation here is oraa, it's a reduced form of ore wa (wa is a grammatical particle). His tone here is sort of laid-back (and tired, as you can tell). Again, this is his default 1st-person pronoun.

A few moments later, on the last page of the chapter, he says,

「よく分かった　ツラかったろう！！大丈夫だ僕にまかせな　悪い様にはしねえぜ！！」（カイト） "I understand. It must have been so hard! It's okay... I'll take care of you. I won't let anything bad happen to you again!" (to Kaito)

Here he switches back to boku. He does this in front of almost everyone, but this is especially the case because he's speaking to a child he wants to protect. Using the boku pronoun gives a softer, more approachable vibe.

In Chapter #05, he goes back to ore when he talks to Kaito about No Man's Land.

「時々考えるよ　この惑星に…来た事が本当に俺達にとって幸せな事なのか　ってね」（カイト） "I sometimes wonder... Was our arrival on this planet actually something for us to be happy about? ...Y'know?"

From here on Vash is more familiar with Kaito, enough to open up a bit about his true feelings about humanity. It is also partially Vash talking to himself. irrelevant/coincidence

In Chapter #06, Vash talks to himself in front of Kaito.

「間違いない！！俺にゃー死神か貧乏神が２ケタ以上ついてるんだ」（独り言・カイト） Overhaul: "Why do death and destruction always follow right behind me?!" Literal: "I swear, I have at least 2 digits’ worth of death-gods or poverty-gods haunting me!!"

He uses ore here again. At this point, he's pretty much completely familiar with Kaito, and considers him a friend/teammate. The speech here is very casual. Skimming through the later chapters, I was able to confirm that from Chapter #05 on, Vash uses exclusively ore.

wait

AAAND CUT! this is where my dumb ass realizes that vashs speech is different between trigun and trimax, and that the conclusion i planned on making was trimax-exclusive :) now forget everything you just read in this post past the wikipedia table screenshot because itll be completely irrelevant in less than a week!!

trimax vash uses boku 99% of the time and ore exclusively in front of knives as far as i can remember. i wanted to say stuff about how he is always wearing the kind persona as a mask and shows his true emotions (aka his sheer trauma and rage) in front of knives and knives only

but like. he really doesnt in og trigun. thats just him being kind to strangers??? and barely has any deep meaning to it. it doesnt mean the individual analyses are wrong but theyre definitely not making the point i was going to make at the end of this post and it just aint that deep.

very frustrated with myself rn... but the 2 good things i got out of this are 1) i wont have to write the pronoun explanation again and 2) i skimmed through all of trigun so future annotations might be faster/cost less spoons since i already have some things to write down in mind.

This will definitely get a part 2+ in the future, especially once we get to see Knives. the redo will just be a new single-part post. this stuff will most likely only become relevant once we see knives+vash interaction in trimax The Meryl speech analysis we mentioned in a past post is currently in the works, and will also be part of this speech series!

#head in hands #trigunbookclub #trigun speech analysis

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zackpacklol · 4 days

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Spoilers for Lacey's Flash Games by ghosttundra (watch the series if you haven't already!!!!!!)

I think most people in the Lacey Fandom don't see the wordless, but painful story that I do of Lacey, and I'm about to explain what that is.

This is all just speculation, a theory, more rather of what Lacey/Possibly Rocio had gone through during their traumatic childhood.

TW // MENTIONS OF SELF-HARM, DEATH, CORPSES, WORM INFESTED CORPSES AND OTHER GROSS STUFF ARE IN THIS POST, READ AT YOUR OWN DESCRIPTION

It's obvious by now that Lacey had a troubling childhood, like a really traumatic one. From being abused by her Uncle, having to look at that Uncle's dead body every time she got out of her bed, as well as dealing with a f'ed up stalker.

But what I want to focus on that most people don't seem to talk about is Lacey's Jobs as well as her deceased Skater friend, Jay.

Let's talk about Lacey's first working jump; Her Diner.

If we're looking at this from a realistic perspective, it's likely Lacey didn't actually own a Diner, but more rather worked at one as A waitress, later being promoted to a cook, or possibly having to do both since the place Lacey worked hadn't had many employees.

Quick Screenshot(s) give context clues that the various patrons at Lacey's workplace had driven her from sadness to extreme anger, with failing the first day at her work making her cut herself and call herself words like "useless", "stupid", "slow", etc. That spiralled into becoming SO angry that she made a meal so disturbed that caused the entire workplace to be shutdown, causing her to lose her only way of making income.

Eventually, Lacey finds a new Job as a Petshop worker. I don't have much insight on this one other than Lacey that eventually quit due to the over-demanding and borderline abusive owners that asked for the most screwed things to do to their animals.

Now sometime during the portion when Lacey was out of a Job again, Jay, one of Lacey's adventurous tomboy friends that she only had left, tragically passed in a very unfortunate skating accident. Although incredibly mad that the universe that it continued to move even after Jay was gone, Lacey eventually found a new job for herself to get (or at least try) to get her life back on track. What was the job, you may ask?

A makeup parlor! A Morgue.

Working in a Morgue as a Mortuary Cosmetologist.

Maybe Lacey had dreamed of working with Make-up in anyway she could, maybe working with the morgue's makeup was a coping mechanism of trying to move from Jay's demise.

Either way, Lacey worked at the morgue, despite the occasional worms that infested the bodies, or even that some corpses would occasionally stare back at her with their dead eyes. All of that was all for now until...

Jay was a client corpse.

I could only imagine the absolute dread that Lacey felt, having to see your Friend diseased & mangled corpse beyond the point of recognition, as well as having to attempt to apply makeup to your deceased friend's corpse while you can feel your own tears destroy your pretty eyeliner.

While it's unknown whether or not Lacey got fired from the morgue due to having a mental breakdown in the middle of the work day, we'll have to see what "Lacey Game" is next to find out.

Thanks for reading. Feel very free to ask any questions you have about this theory/speculation in the comments.

#lacey's flash games #lacey games #lacey games spoilers #ghosttundra #skater jay lacey games #jay's skating game #lacey's games #tw s3lf harm #tw s3lf harm mention #lacey's makeup parlour #lacey's petshop #lacey and the jamers #lacey's diner #lacey's wardrobe

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renaultphile · 8 days

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More flawed Alec

@black-bentley Thank you so much for answering my ask!! I've linked it here for convenience 💖

This is so interesting!! I said to myself, ‘But I do judge Madge more harshly! Am I suffering from internalised misogyny?’ There are two things for me. One is that she does it while Reg is nearly dead on a beach in Dunkirk, and the second is that it involves a child. Oh, hang on! Just realised that this is what Laurie’s mother does to him, she unilaterally removes his father from his life. I wonder if that incredibly reckless ruse with the telegram is not just about loyalty to Reg, but also to do with his feelings for the child, and not wanting Reg to be cut out of his life? Maybe? That thought has literally never occurred to me before.

But I agree the two are not treated equally in the book, and perhaps Alec is given a free pass. I have no evidence for this, but I wonder if Mary wanted to have a character who was promiscuous but in other ways a sympathetic character as a counter-point to those religious characters who believe in ‘purity’ but are actually pretty callous and cruel. As if to say sexual promiscuity is not the greatest crime.

But anyway, what is my beef with Alec? For me it’s more that he throws Laurie under the bus by failing to warn him how vulnerable Ralph is. That's interesting because it parallels what you said in a way! I can see why he might be hesitant (just as I can see him judging that it’s pointless trying to persuade Ralph that Bunny is not all he seems), but he also freely admits to liking a quiet life, and he does seem to be indulging in some magical thinking about Laurie ‘saving’ Ralph somehow. I am more and more convinced his judgement is impaired because he is not really over Ralph – the comment about ‘full time passengers’ could easily be referring to himself.

But.......I think we can agree that Sandy/Alec is one of the most intriguing relationships in the book and is there to make us think! You have made me think a bit more about Alec's frailties and flaws and the possible reasons for this too. One thing that did stun me rather was learning that long after TC was published, Mary's long-term partner had a mental breakdown. I'm not sure we know how Mary felt about it. I found it incredibly poignant that she had written so movingly about mental illness in TC and at least tried to show some nuance, even if it feels as if Sandy is given a bit of a raw deal.

Looking forward to more posts from you about TC - and more TC fics of course 🥺

#the charioteer #alec deacon #asks #Thank you for answering my ask!!!

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souryogurt64 · 8 months

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wait what’s the grey abortion thing

I'm literally never posting the actual text because no one is mature enough to handle this, but there's this one alleged journal entry that's very like. Well. It's not clear what's happening but it's certainly something. And then in the same general vicinity there's some stuff from a girl's POV and when I first saw both I was very confused as to what all of that was about.

Anyway in the b**k it is explained that The Disaster dipped out on his pregnant girlfriend and she has a miscarriage, so he drops out of school and gets arrested. This comes up three more times and is always referred to as a "dead baby," which is certainly a choice. (Of course it was supposed to be a boy.)

Every time this happens, it's during the narrator's internal monologue during extreme points of crisis. The first time is when he's having a manic episode and goes to wait outside his ex girlfriend's apartment all night. The second time is the mental breakdown at a train station right before he starts hallucinating he's seeing God. The last time is after his girlfriend goes into a coma and they know she's going to die.

Anyway, I always thought (like many, many, many things about this book) it was kind of weird.

Like yes, The Disaster was involved and The Disaster is the narrator's best friend. But speaking incredibly technically here, this miscarriage happens offscreen to an unnamed character we never meet a year prior to the events of the book, it is then relayed by her to The Disaster, who then relays it to the narrator the 2nd time they ever interact. Pretty much all of the details are unclear too (point of book). Then they never talk about it again, but for some reason the narrator fixates on it whenever he's having a major episode for the 2 years the book takes place over. Certainly some literary choices happening here

Anyway, so then when I was writing the essay I noticed there were a lot of early drafts in Pete's journals, including one that's in the same general vicinity as the weird entry and the stuff from a girl's POV. After I wrote the dissertation I noticed there's like weird pronoun stuff and a sentence that basically states the theme/meaning of the book in one of the entries in this area that solidified the early draft theory

And then when the Gray going for 5 trillion dollars on Amazon drama was happening (It's $41 now, I guess Pete's been slacking on burning copies) I noticed there was a reference to High Fidelity suspiciously high in the Amazon description so I watched High Fidelity and a plot point in High Fidelity is that the main character (played by John Cusack who is namedropped in a Fall Out Boy song and stars in a lot of other movies referenced) cheated on his girlfriend while she was pregnant so she got an abortion and he freaks out because "it's my baby too."

In conclusion, I have literally no other choice to believe this was a similar plot point in the book and at some point someone was (correctly) like "You cannot fucking print this" so instead it became something that happened offscreen to someone else and then the original plan was communicated via signals I guess. Literally deranged

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peachdoxie · 5 months

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(Sending this as an ask bcs it got too long for the replies) but re: your post, I actually had a breakdown recently because of the massive toll it's taking on my mental health to Pay Attention to current events when I'm already dealing with so much in my own life that there really isn't a whole lot more I can do to help anyone, and it really does infuriate me that people have twisted the concept of privilege to suggest that anyone who isn't living in a war zone has the obligation to destroy their mental and physical health by paying non-stop attention to all the atrocities of the world.

Post-breakdown I decided that destroying myself wasn't helping anyone, and it's okay for me to focus on myself and my needs. It's still really hard, and I have a lot of trouble shaking the internalized message that me blocking tags and ignoring the news doesn't make me a horrible person, plus I'm unfortunately so hyper-empathetic that it's painful to even know that people are suffering in the world, but again we're all suffering right now. Almost no one is living in ideal conditions, and I have to believe that people who are living in worse conditions than I don't want me to end up bed ridden with depression and anxiety worrying over them, because I wouldn't want anyone to do that for me, either.

Anyway, this isn't super coherent, and I'm sorry if it comes across as trauma dumping or anything, but I just wanted to say that I agree, it's really messed up that the culture of activism has twisted to the point that being happy or even just not miserable when other people have it worse is so normalized. I hate seeing people lash out cruely at people in an attempt to get help or more eyes on an issue. It's like the old "there are children in Africa starving so finish your dinner even if you hate it" or "how dare you complain about how you're being treated, other people have it worse" mentality turned up to 100 billion and tbh it doesn't do anyone any good and it certainly doesn't make the world a better place.

Needing to take time away isn't selfish. You don't have to suffer to make up for the fact that you happen to not live in a worse place. You are not obligated to destroy yourself as penance. And destroying yourself is not activism nor is it a healthy expression of compassion or empathy. I know it's not a choice sometimes, our emotions are not logical, but I just wanted you to know that there are people out there who know there is nothing wrong with you taking a step back to focus on yourself. The fight isn't over because you looked away, there are tons of other people still carrying the torch, and I truly don't think people who are suffering want MORE people to suffer needlessly on their behalf.

I hope you're able to take a break soon, and that you find a way to balance things. And I hope the things you're dealing with in your own life ease up soon as well. Take care of yourself.

I'm not sure if you're the same anon who sent this message

You know what, fuck it. I'm giving you permission to take as many days off as you need bit caring about others. Do some things for yourself, have fun, sleep. The world will still be on fire when you get back, but you'll have a better flame proof suit to help deal with it.

but regardless thank you. I needed to hear this.

#anecdotes by peachdoxie #re: my posts about burnout and activism

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regular-lord-reckoner · 2 months

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back by unpopular demand it's...me!

hi :3

uh so as of yesterday it's apparently somehow been six months since my dad passed which feels........utterly bizarre.

it feels like it's been a month at most to me and my mom.

like logically, yes, we know that much time has passed, but on another level it just...doesn't feel like it can possibly be that long. at all.

i'm really trying this time to not rush myself through anything, especially grief. i think that's part of why i got so stuck last time, i pushed myself to try to get back to normal too soon instead of just feeling what i feel.

it's not to say i'm not trying to work through it all or anything, but for me at least this shit just takes time.

i had a breakdown the other morning over fucking toaster strudels of all things, but they reminded me of him. it's one of those things he'd sometimes get from the store when he'd go grocery shopping and he'd always be so excited to tell me about them.

"i got us something there in the freezer," he'd say whenever i'd wander into the kitchen at some point

i miss so many moments like that, just the little interactions we'd have throughout the day.

i know i got to a point of being so completely burned out beyond belief that i didn't want to talk to anyone ever at any time and i wish i hadn't now because we could have had more of those moments, but it is what it is, i guess.

i'm still going to therapy and still trying to work through everything. i was doing all this work on primarily my mental health before he passed and then that became the main focus naturally so I'm slowly getting back to work on that as well.

My therapist also gave me a book to read she said would help me with some of the feelings i'm struggling with as far as feeling like everything and everyone else around me has moved on but i'm still stuck and all that so i'll be diving in to that soon.

i was doing okay for a while there as far as taking care of myself goes, but i think as we've gotten closer to the six month mark and that realization just keeps washing over me over and over again i've just been diving into work and chores and of course taking some time to just fuck off from work (but that usually means i end up doing work until right before bedtime so i'm trying not to do that as much.......still going to do some, though, they can't stop me!!)

that's been burning me out a little i can tell. so i'm trying to back off of that and actually i'm finally at a point with all my stuff where i'm caught up so that's a relief. there was some shit that went down a little while back that i might explain later in another post at another time but it ended up with one of my managers having to apologize to me over and over again because basically i wasn't doing something i was supposed to be doing but no one thought to tell me that soooooo i was unknowingly causing a bit of a clusterfuck for a lot of people so that was fun!!

also in more fun news my mom had to go to a walk-in last weekend (not this most recent one, but the one before that) because she woke up with a lot of pain in one of her arms. naturally the concern was for something heart-related but she said she didn't think it was that but more like a pinched nerve, so they checked her out at the walk-in and seemed to at least agree it wasn't her heart so that was good.

on the downside, though, after a few more tests since then it apparently is her neck. there's a bulging disc there that's indeed pinching a nerve and she's pretty sure she even knows which one in specific is the problem because it's also causing numbness in one of her fingers

i hope it's not something she ends up having to get surgery on, but i also hate seeing her in pain like this. both of her sisters had this same problem and ended up having to be operated on to fix it, so my mom's got an appointment coming up to have someone look at the tests she's had done so far over and assess the situation and i guess we'll go from there.

she's been able to get a little relief from some pain medication and even a round of acupuncture but it's been pretty rough on her. crazy how you can just wake up one day and just bam, some bullshit is going on!!!

anyway, aside from all of that we're doing okay. just taking each day at a time and am still squeezing in all the self care that i can and trying to be good to myself (although i can definitely tell i need to drink more water, i dunno why that's always one of the first things to go when it's like, dude, this literally has almost killed you, please drink the water, it's literally sitting right next to you at all times!!)

but yeah, dunno if i'll be on here more consistently or not; i don't want to promise anything i'm not sure i can keep because who knows how i'll feel tomorrow or a week from now or another month, another six, who knows! but!!

if you're reading this i hope you're doing well.

i know no matter what your circumstance is right now things in general are incredibly difficult and i hope you're also taking time to take care of yourself when/if you can.

i hope something really, really amazing happens this week. some really good news. for everyone.

anyway, i'll go now before i get too sappy but just wanted to end on a lighter note and wish you well. thank you for taking the time to give me and my troubles a moment of your time. have a good week! :3

#little update on how i've been if you're curious #and if not that's completely fine too!!#just take the :3

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sapphire-weapon · 10 months

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I can't help but pick apart characters I like and resonate with. Where RE is concerned, it's kinda infamous to offer only little insights and tidbits. That personally leaves me to deepdive into fanbase opinions and thought pieces. Anyway, my question is, do have any favourite headcanons about Leon and his lifestyle/personality? :)

My two cents is that he's very introverted and a little bit awkward and lonely. Idk if that's obvious, or maybe you disagree? Just curious, if you'd like to weigh in with anything extra. :)

The thing about Leon is that I don't think he's introverted by nature; I think his emotional breakdown and subsequent depression and drinking problem sort of forced him into that lifestyle. This is for both versions of Leon, too -- Remake and OG. I think that pre-RE2 he was fairly extroverted (OG moreso than Remake, but still both) and would've rather gone out than stay in.

And while his actual nature hasn't changed, his mental health and lifestyle both have. On some level, he'd still prefer to go out than stay in, and he'd rather be with people rather than be alone, but his job keeps him pretty socially isolated, and the depressive part of his brain doesn't have the energy/doesn't want to be bothered with trying to navigate around it, because he also has a newfound sense of paranoia and self-loathing to fight through, too. So his brain just kind of goes "it's not worth it" now.

I think it's gotten worse as he's gotten older, too. OG RE4 Leon still seemed to want to try to hold onto some part of who he was before Raccoon City -- ID Leon, too. But then we start getting into Damnation and then RE6 and then Vendetta, and he just seems to crawl further and further into whatever post-trauma hole he's dug for himself.

Remake Leon is a slightly different beast in that regard; his character arc seems to have been accelerated a bit compared to OG, and he just went straight to the level of cynicism and self-isolation that his OG counterpart doesn't hit until RE6.

He's definitely lonely, though. There's no denying that. Leon exists in a world so far removed from the average person that he probably doesn't even remember how to have a normal conversation anymore.

Could you imagine post-RE4 Leon trying to just like... date normally...? Leon, who was kidnapped and coerced via the threat of violence against a child into his career -- a man who's been completely estranged from his family since 1998 -- just sitting there listening to some girl talk about how her boss is a dick and she's having problems with her sister or something. He's just like "... yeah that sounds... that's crazy :T" He's the personification of can'trelate.jpeg

And the people who do understand him are so physically far from him (I think Chris and Jill still live in Europe, at least for part of the year, if I'm not mistaken) and have their own lives that it's not like he keeps in touch with them very well.

Most of Leon's life probably blurs together, and he has a horrible concept of time as a result. Like, he'll go several years between actually physically seeing/hanging out with Claire, but every time he sees her, he's like "I just saw you last summer" -- but no, he very much did not.

Very few of his days are different from the last. He wakes up, works out, showers, goes to the office, comes home, has a few drinks and dicks around, then goes to sleep. Every day. And he doesn't really do anything much on the weekends, either. He cleans if he can muster the will to do it (fuck it, if not; it's not like he lives with anyone or ever has guests), and then he drinks and dicks around some more. And then the weekend is over. And the cycle repeats.

And when I say "dicks around" I mean that Leon has watched so many movies at this point in his life that he actually could be fun for conversation if he would just pull his head out of his own ass and realize that even normal people have, like, hobbies and interests and shit.

And while I make fun of him for being a dumbass idiot butt monkey all the time, I do genuinely think he reads a lot -- both fiction and nonfiction. Especially once ebooks really start taking off and becoming a thing.

I like to think that the big secret that he'll never tell anyone is that he's a sucker for a good romance. It's not his preferred go-to genre or anything, but every once in a while, he'll self-indulge and live vicariously through a romance story.

This next headcanon is 100% just me projecting, because this is what I did during and after my own breakdown when I still lived on the east coast -- but when he does want to get out of the house, he waits until late at night (like 11pm or later) and then goes and just. Watches the ocean.

And thinks about throwing himself into it. But never does.

#resident evil #leon kennedy #i still do that last one every time i go home lmao

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thelost-in-time · 2 years

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Hi, Anon, just a note before we start. I'm sorry, but Tumblr posted my unfinished thing for me, so I had to start it from scratch again so it's not posted half completed. That's why the ask isn't shown as an actual ask and it is a screenshot. Other than that, I'm sorry and I hope you enjoy this nonetheless

Hi, Anon! You absolutely can, dw ^^ Also, I hope you don't mind, but I've added Xiao and Zen for my own comfort reasons

I'll just separate each character with some sort of dividers, so it's no problem ^^

Hey, I'm here, okay?

How Childe, Diluc, Xiao, Saeran, Saeyoung and Zen comfort a reader with anxiety.

Warnings: Anxiety, panic attacks, mental breakdowns, mentions of drowning and suffocation (comparison only), chest pain because of anxiety. Mysme is inaccurate bc I only finished Jumin and Jaehee's routes.

Reader is gn

Disclaimer: Everyone's anxiety is not the same. My anxiety may not be like yours. This post is based on my anxiety and how I hear my friends talk about their anxiety. Do NOT attack me over this. If you don't like how this turned out, move on instead of attacking me over it.

Genshin

Childe

He knows anxiety because he was in the Abyss at one point.

And he does have a family he needs to protect.

You have anxiety, but how severe your anxiety gets completely depends on your situation.

Sometimes your anxiety gets so bad that it's like you're drowning in an ocean, begging someone to save you.

Childe will be the one who will help you.

He has younger siblings, so he's learnt to be intuitive with the emotions of the ones he loves.

This includes you.

As far as Childe is concerned, you are part of his family.

Part of his world. I'll see myself out now.

So when Childe sees you placing a hand to your chest with a look of discomfort after a certain situation.

Chest pain caused by anxiety.

He knows.

He's quick to act.

He leads you away from the situation and pulls you into his arms, embracing you.

"Shh, it's okay, my love. I'm here. I'll try to help you feel better."

Anytime Childe sees your anxiety starting to build up, he has his gentle hold on you.

Hands caressing your arm, your back or your hands.

He's trying to help ease you a little.

If someone gave you a panic attack, then they'll come face to face with Childe's blade.

He is merciless to those who give you panic attacks, unless you ask him to show mercy.

"My love, how about later, we play with Teucer? He adores you."

Offers you anything to help you feel better, and Teucer's antics are one of them.

Because he knows about your anxiety, he always is prepared to take care of you.

Tries to ease your mind as best he can.

"But you'll never be alone."

Diluc

Master Diluc. Another one who had anxiety in the past after... events in his life.

Except, he wouldn't know about your anxiety unless you brought it up.

He didn't wanna assume anything, that's all, so he waited until you confirmed this with him.

When you do though, expect him to be prepared to help you at all times.

But sometimes, in the dead of night when Diluc is put and you're home alone, it's hell.

You're laying alone in your bed, thoughts swirling around your head.

And sometimes being alone with your thoughts aren't a good thing.

Negative thoughts flow into your mind, and suddenly, it's as if you're suffocating.

Trying to hold back the fiery hot tears that roll down your face, Diluc returns home to you.

"Something isn't right. I can feel it."

Rushes over to your room, not wanting to waste a single moment more.

And he finds you curled up in bed, gasping for air, having a breakdown.

Pulls you into his arms and holds you, making you rest your head on his chest.

"My love, listen to my voice, and my heartbeat. Don't think about anything else."

Tries to ground you by talking to you and letting you listen to the sound of his heart.

It hurts Diluc to see you like this, and he always does his best to ease your anxiety.

Anytime you feel your anxiety getting worse, Diluc is there.

He wraps his arms around you, or gives you his jacket if he can't hold you.

But he will drop everything to help you.

Will make you something to drink, like hot chocolate, tea, coffee, anything.

And if you need to fidget with something to ground your anxiety

Well, he buys you some sort of fidget toy.

Don't fight me. Those things help me through it sometimes bc my mind goes blank and I get grounded

Diluc also offers to do some relaxing activities with you to soothe your mind and your nerves.

"I'll be with you from dusk till dawn."

Xiao

Used to have anxiety as well. Have you not seen his karmic debt?

And yet you ground him when he needs you most.

So you better believe that he will return the favour tenfold.

He can see you're anxious with how you absent-mindedly tap your fingers against a surface.

He reaches out, holding your hand in his.

He has gotten used to initiating physical affection after seeing how happy you get.

When you're laying in bed at night, unable to sleep with thoughts swirling around your head.

Then Xiao will be the one to help you to bed.

Gives you a hoodie of his, helps you put it on actually, and helps you to bed.

Cuddles with you, whispering comforting words when your anxiety grows.

Takes you out on a walk through nature when your anxiety grows worse over days.

If you have allergies, he takes the path with less plants and stuff, but still amazing sights.

"I'm right here. I'll not leave your side. I'll help you get through this."

Anytime you start spiralling, he talks you through it, voice gentle and calm

Does all the things to soothe you that you do for him.

Never treats you as if you're incapable of doing things yourself though.

Lets you do things yourself unless you ask him for help, advising you to take it slowly.

Asks you to talk to describe some stuff to him when you're on the verge of breaking.

"What colour is the sky? What colour are my eyes? Can you match your breathing to mine?"

Alternatively asks you to count the number of objects backwards.

Basically find ten of one object, nine of another and so on.

Xiao mainly distracts you from what's growing your anxiety.

But he also gives you a lot of physical affection to help you calm down.

Super patient with you, despite seeming like an impatient person.

"Baby I'm right here."

Mystic Messenger

Saeran

Never played his or Saeyoung's routes, but he's my favourite from the two for some reason.

Saeran suffers anxiety even to this day. He has anxiety because of what he was subjected to.

So he understands you having anxiety.

Offers to introduce you to his psychologist so that your anxiety can also get a little bit better.

He knows it may not completely help, but he wants to help you even a little bit.

His psychologist helped him, so he's hoping you'll be helped as well.

However, if you're against the idea, he attempts to help you himself.

When you're feeling on the verge of an anxiety attack, he offers you to get ice-cream.

This man loves his ice-cream, so you don't even suspect its to help you.

Until it keeps happening when your panic attacks hit.

And if you're lactose intolerant? He finds an alternative that won't make you suffer.

Maybe he offers you some Honey Buddha Chips from Saeyoung's endless supply.

He likes stargazing with you, especially on nights when both your anxieties peak.

"The stars have a way of easing my anxiety. I hope it helps you as well."

Offers you his teddy bear to hold and cuddle when you're especially stressed during the day

Likes holding your hand. Feels it helps ground you both.

When your chest hurts, he gently squeezes your hand as a gentle reminder that he's there for you.

Times when your anxiety isn't as bad though, you can be certain to hear him say he's proud of you.

And when you recover from a panic attack, he still says he's proud of you.

Why? Because he knows how it feels.

"I'm proud of you. You're doing so well. You're managing, and that's great."

When you're calm, looks at you as if you're a work of art.

When you're breaking down, looks at you as if you're a delicate flower that needs care.

Always reminds you that he loves you, especially when you're super anxious.

"I'll hold you when things go wrong."

Saeyoung

Did you guys get married at the space station?

He's smart, but he's also stupidly oblivious.

So much for being a sentient boy.

I joke. In all honesty, he's probably trying to balance things, so he doesn't notice.

At first.

When he does notice you have anxiety (or when you finally tell him), he hugs you.

Holds you close, not saying anything for a few moments.

You think he's disappointed, and he is. Except it's in himself for not realising sooner.

After that? He pays close attention to you, not wanting you to spiral.

Anytime he sees someone about to prod at your anxiety to make it grow, he's there.

Pulls pranks on the person. Can't threaten them directly because he has a history.

When alone with the person who overwhelmed you, he's much less forgiving.

He is gentle, treating you as if you were a precious gem that could break.

Talks you through your nerves, cracking a few jokes to help you.

Alternatively though, he holds you close, letting you rest your head on his shoulder or chest.

You know how he cosplays?

He will cosplay for you to see you smile.

Cosplays as your comfort character.

Which means he may not need to cosplay bc he knows his your comfort character here.

"Defender 707 will defend you from your anxiety!"

Suggests activities that could help you.

Go outside? Take a walk? Exercise? Cuddles? Video games?

Maybe not the last one. Unless it's a slow paced game that's calming.

Asks Vanderwood to cook for you to make sure you don't forget to eat.

"I'll be with you from dusk till dawn."

Zen

You know how he has a bunch of rehearsals to do and rarely has time for himself?

Yeah, he always has time for you.

So when you message him saying your anxiety is worse today, he drops everything to go to you. The directors can't say anything, fearing he may quit, and their project will flop.

When he arrives at home, he has your favorite snacks on hand, ready to spoil you.

But on other days, when you're both together, he likes going to quiet places with you.

This is because not only is he famous, but also because he doesn't want to overwhelm you.

Feeds you and makes sure you're hydrated because he knows you forget sometimes.

Another one who buys you fidget toys to help ease your anxiety.

"You know I'm here, right? You don't have to struggle through this alone."

Alternatively, if you ever feel like you're a burden because of your anxiety, he has something else to say.

"You're not my burden. I'll never drop you. In fact, I don't mind having you here. Please never think you're a burden."

Funnily enough, this man was my first love in mysme, but I never had the time to get his route rip

Keeps you away from the media in fear of your anxiety worsening.

He wants to introduce you as his romantic partner, but he doesn't want any hate comments to you.

Also scared the attention will maybe make your anxiety worse.

So he keeps things between you both alone.

"God made a mistake when making us. I'm too beautiful and you're too perfect."

Smack him /j Just let him know you're fine when you're fine.

And let him know when you're not fine

Leaves you little notes around your house that tells you how much he loves you

Alternatively (again), if he's unable to come to you when you're anxious.

He has voice notes prepared to ground you, and notes (again) to ground you.

Is proud to have you as his romantic partner, and just wants you to be okay.

Likes spoiling you as well. Acts of service and gift giving. Wants to reward you for being so strong.

"Baby I'm right here."

End

Reblogs and friendly comments are welcome.

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