#not everyone reading these things is a woman. so yeah I really do prefer writing gn readers but I can make exceptions here and there :3

[cerise-on-top]

Heyyyy!!! :333

how are things??!??!?? I haven’t checked tumblr in a while!!!!

is it ok if I request a Konig x f!reader where she gets flustered by him calling her his little wifey as you said in the one post? It’s ok if you choose not to obvs as I know you write Gender neutral, so don’t feel obligated!!

Hey! It's been alright, but I've been super tired as of late! I've got the second theoretical exam on Tuesday, though! And once I pass that I will finally be done with all the theory! :D Also, the referenced post is this one!

König Calling his GF Weibi

I feel as though he’d be very sudden with calling you that. In fact, he’d likely be saying something along the lines of “Mei Weibi schaut heite wieda zuckasüß aus.” He never expected you to understand him, much less be interested in what he had to say about you. While he may not hide the fact that he was talking about you in the slightest, looking at you with those big, adoring blue eyes of his, he would be surprised when you turn to look at him, done with his impossible to Google translate German. Even if you had been learning the language for a while now, whenever he reverted to his own German you barely, if at all, understood him. And thus, you confronted him about what he had to say about you this time. König would chuckle a bit at your fierce demeanor this time when you were usually quite calm about him complimenting you in German.

“I’m not sure how I should translate ‘Weibi’, but I’ll try… Weibi is sort of like little wifey. My lovely little wifey looks sweet as sugar again today. That’s essentially what I said.” His accent was thick again, as it had always been, but it added to his charm. Although he was usually a rather sweet man, this took you by surprise. You were his girlfriend, not his wife, yet, so you weren’t sure why he would call you that. It was rather sweet, but you weren’t sure how to process this.

“A-ah, I see…” Looking away, you grabbed your wrist and gently rubbed the skin there with your thumb. A rather obvious gesture, König seemed to be delighted about this. As you looked him in the eye again, you saw a glimmer in his eyes. It wasn’t anything devious, in fact it was a rare sight to behold in the first place as he could sometimes be rather timid, despite being a behemoth. Unsure of what was about to happen, you turned to leave, a goofy grin on your face that you hoped he hadn’t spotted just yet.

“Well, Weibi, you can’t just leave me hanging here. Don’t go, where would I be without you?” He tenderly grabbed your wrist. Despite his usual gentle ways, there was some strength to him, even now. “You’re my lovely little wifey and I love you a lot, so don’t leave just yet.” Even as you struggled against his grasp on you, even as you continuously turned to face away from him, he always found a way to get to see your pretty face. Resorting to hiding your face behind your palm seemed fruitless as well, König, too, had two hands, after all. He was too strong, despite him barely using any of his strength. Curse him and the fact he was part of a PMC. One of these days, you were going to give him a piece of mind. Until then, he may run free. Holding both of your hands in his, he pushed you against the kitchen wall, trapping you against it and him.

“You like that nickname, don’t you?”

Using the opportunity that presented itself to hide further from him, you pushed your body against his, concealing yourself still. “It’s just… I don’t know if I’m understanding this the right way, but being your wife sounds kind of nice, actually… Like, it seems like a rather domestic nickname. If you were a bit more careful with your body, then I just know you’d make for an ideal husband too. The idea of someday being your real wife just gets to me, you know?”

He hadn’t even considered that up until that point. But you being his wife, him being your husband, it sounded like a dream. Letting go of your wrists, he wrapped his arms around you instead. “I know, Weibi. But don’t worry too much about it. I used to be far more reckless when I was younger. So I’m sure I will calm down in the future. Besides, why not make it a reality someday? Just the two of us in our own apartment, maybe with a kitten or two to take care of. I’d love to marry you someday, you’re the best girlfriend I’ve ever had. I love you more than anyone and anything else.”

König had the chance to be such an asshole in that moment, and despite that he chose to be a sappy idiot. Again, you were reminded as to why you loved him in the first place. Wrapping your arms around him as well, you breathed in his scent. That all-too familiar scent you’ve come to adore. The one that reminded you that no one could ever harm you, that you were safe, no matter what. He was so warm too, you couldn’t help but melt into him. “You’re such an idiot, you know that?”

He pressed a kiss to your temple before chuckling again. “Bear with an idiot for a moment? Just until we’re married and I’ve burned the certificate.”

“Because then I can’t return you? König, have you been looking at memes again?”

“Hush, Weibi. No one needs to know.”

#cod #cod x reader #konig #könig #konig x reader #könig x reader #I'm at almost 165K words in my document for cod now. oops #but I was really looking forward to writing this! thank you :D #hope you've been doing well too! #I love putting König in situations! even if I still don't have a proper grasp on his character #like I think he'd be sweet towards his loved ones but absolutely relentless towards almost everyone else #but he loves cats #he'd always stop when he sees a cat to pet it. if the timing is appropriate #so I think he'd love to have a cat or two with you #oh before I forget again #fem!reader #this time it's actually appropriate #I don't mind writing a gendered reader as long as there's actually a point to it! since German is a gendered language I can see the point #but yeah usually the gender of reader really shouldn't matter! which is why it usually annoys me when all I can find are fem!readers #not everyone reading these things is a woman. so yeah I really do prefer writing gn readers but I can make exceptions here and there :3

[parkerdoeswriting]

Now You're In My Life

(Spencer Reid x Nanny!GN!Reader)

category: fluff oneshot

summary: reader and spence are engaged, but it's a secret

warnings: reader being referred to by “mapa” (mama and papa mashed up, if you have a preference, just pretend i misspelt the word), “grandfather” Rossi, found family trope for realsies, non italian-speaking writer attempts to write italian (lord)

word count: 1k

A/N: Finally finished it LMAO after like two weeks of writing block (i got an obsession with remus lupin and couldn’t stop reading fanfics instead of writing them) also this a part two to late night talking and i would suggest reading that before this xx why does this fic cut off so weird LMAO

You and Spencer had been together for 5 months now, and although things have progressed faster than normal relationships (you both getting engaged, moving in, having Alice think of you as more than a nanny, more than a step parent as well), you couldn’t help but feel the most happy you have in your life. 

You both really hadn’t really told anyone of your engagement, including your family and friends, only Alice. That was all about to change tonight, as you were hosting an engagement party, where’d you both would announce it.

“Are you getting ready hun?” Spencer asks as he knocks on the bathroom door.

“Yep.. almost finished though!” you respond, quickly finishing up your look for tonight.

You open the door, only to see Spencer’s lanky frame leaning on the doorframe. He’s wearing a warm grey cotton vest, over his off white button up, paired with a dusty purple tie and black slacks. Your eyes meet his and his smile instantly brightens..

“You look.. woah” he chuckles, giving you a kiss on your cheek.

Your face reddens, his compliments making your mouth curl into a smile.

“You don’t look so bad yourself” you chuckle, giving his tie a little straighten. 

“Mapa!” Alice comes running towards you, wearing a dress matching the colours of Spencer’s tie. 

You smile and pick her up, playing with her wavy hair. She was practically a mini Spencer, from her hair and to her eyes.

“Do you want me to braid your hair?” you ask her, kissing the top of her little head.

“Please!” she smiles, and you set her on top of the bathroom counter.

“Spencer, do you mind setting up the munchies and drinks as I tend to Princess Alice here?” you ask, the nickname making Alice giggle happily. 

He nods and heads off, and you turn back to Alice. You grab the brush and hair ties, getting started on braiding. You do a classic, Elsa style braid, on her. 

“Aw, pumpkin, you look gorgeous” you smile at her, helping her off the counter.

“I’m like Elsa!” she squeals, spinning around. 

You chuckle and escort her to the kitchen area, seeing the island counter filled with various assortments of snacks and drinks. You look around, not seeing Spencer in the kitchen. 

“Hmm.. where’s your father huh?” you ask Alice quizzically, and in response, she shrugs.

“Over here!” A voice is heard from the living room, and Alice runs over to it. 

“Daddy!” she giggles, climbing onto the couch, where he was lying down and reading a book. 

You lean over the back of the couch, chuckling at the sight.

“Seriously Spence, you read more than everyone I know combined” you tease.

“Did you know that reading strengthens your memory and concentration? Yeah, according to a stu-” he starts to say, but he’s cut off by a tiny ‘NO!’ from Alice.

You burst out laughing, covering your face at Alice’s response, Spencer just has wide eyes as he’s silenced by her. Alice crosses her arms at him, clearly having heard a lot of his ramblings in her (short) life.

A knock has arrived at the front door, the first guests finally have arrived. You swiftly dash to the front door, opening it. 

“Penelope, hello” you smile at the woman, who’s dressed in a pretty pink dress with butterflies. 

“Hello sunshine, I come bearing more sustenance!” she chuckles, holding up a container of dip as she enters the entryway. 

“You didn’t have to, thank you!” you take the dip from her as she takes off her grey pumps.

“Aunty Penny!” Alice comes barreling in at the sound of her voice, practically tackling her leg. 

“Oh my, you look so gorgeous Ali!” Penelope practically gasps, picking up the girl. 

Alice smiles and wraps her arms around Penelope’s neck as she heads to the kitchen area. 

“Where’s Uncle Derek?” Alice pouts her lips. 

“He should be here soon, don’t worry” she smiles at her. 

————————

The party was bustling, laughing and music filling the room. Everyone was almost there, minus a certain Italian. 

“I’m late, I’m sorry!” his voice is heard from the front door, belonging to the last guest. 

“Rossi, we were wondering where you were!” JJ chuckles, and he shrugs. 

“Had to pick up my favourite wine” he holds up a clearly expensive bottle, setting it on the counter. 

You’re holding Alice on your hip, and she is clearly exhausted, even though the party has been going on for less than an hour. 

“There’s my beautiful nipote” David approaches, giving the sleepy girl a kiss on the head, before moving to you and giving your cheek a 'Rossi hello'. 

“Nonno!” she exclaims, her voice quiet as he reaches out for him, in which he complies. 

You smile, looking around to see if Spencer is seeing the same thing you are. You see him smiling on the other side of the island, and then he makes eye contact with you, causing him to smile more. 

“Look at my dress Nonno!” Alice exclaims, her energy increasing more by the minute.

“Bellissima!” he chuckles.

“Mapa got it for me when we went dress shopping” she proudly proclaims.

“Oh?” he asks, curious to know. 

“Yep, we also got to try different cakes and look at rings for Mapa and Daddy!” she claps her hands.

Everyone pauses, clearly thinking the same thing.

“Did.. did you guys get engaged?” Emily finally speaks up, looking at you and then Spencer.

You and Spencer awkwardly exchange looks, as there was no point in hiding the engagement from them anymore.

“Surprise?” Spencer speaks up, his hands making a ‘I surrender’ pose. 

The whole group laughs and cheers, Derek giving Spencer a friendly pat on the back.

“How long?” Jennifer asks, a faint smile on her face.

“Three months” you laugh, your hand on your forehead. 

“I can’t believe you kept that a secret from us for that long” Derek exclaims, teasing Spencer.

Spencer’s mouth curls into a smile as he looks at you. 

“I want to see the ring!” Penelope says, her voice giddy.

You whip out the ring, which had been stashed in your pocket this whole time. It’s a quite simple ring, which is what Spencer knew you wanted instead of an oversized one.

“Gorgeous!” Emily says as they all fawn over the ring.

You smile down at the ring in your hands, proudly showing it off.

#spencer reid #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid imagines #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds oneshot #criminal minds #criminal minds imagine #matthew gray gubler x reader

[dozing-marshmallow]

Pls i NEED more Chris McLean x reader. I NEED😭🙏 ive read everything of him on here😓

So pretty please something like chris mclean x wife reader and like, the whole tdi cast gets to meet her bc they didnt believe that Chris had a wife at first?😇

TRUST ME WHEN I SAY I feel the exact same way😫 I love Chris so much and it’s such a huge pleasure that I can write for him while having other people who love him enjoy it as welllll. I will be writing him for a very long time so you can always expect something new evolved around him to come up ;)<3

CHRIS MCLEAN X WIFE! READER HEADCANONS

Having your daily hug with Chris, the tender moment reminds you of what he told you earlier.

“Were you being serious when you told me the kids laughed at you when you told them you were married?"

“Mhmm.” he responds from underneath you,“They called it a sick joke and told me that stand up comedy was way in my league.”

“Aw darling.” you kiss his forehead,“I’m guessing you’re gonna ask a favour for me to stop by to prove them wrong?”

He raises an eyebrow,“What do you mean? Stand up comedy is in my pursuit. I just don’t prefer it, doesn’t mean I’m not good at it.”

He can be so silly sometimes,“I meant your marital status, baby.”

“Oh, yeah...” he holds onto your wrists,“Please?”

You let your body relax completely on top of his, still smiling,“Your wish is my command.”

“Aw what’s the matter, McLean? Couldn’t your wife make it?” Duncan was the first to pick up on ridiculing Chris, eyes still puffy from his chronic cries of laughter from last night. On another circumstance, Chris would’ve been fuming, had he not have reason to smirk.

“How sweet of you to worry, Duncan!” the host begins off, clasping his hands,“But she’s made it in one piece!”

On cue, you walk into the mess hall, linking your arm with Chris’,“Hii everyone! So happy to finally see you all in person!”

All conversation died.

Everyone turns to you.

This woman they’ve never seen before... 

His... His wife?

Were they hearing that right?

No way... He was being serious?

Chris was rolling on the inside at the shared alike look of being slapped spread across the contestants, especially of the mocking kind.

“I...didn’t know you had enough space in your heart to love someone else!” Beth’s the first to break out of her ice of shock to chirp.

“Surprised?” Chris chuckled, allowing you to introduce yourself, which was not what you guys decided.

“Yeah, I’m (Y/N)! This hot mess’ wife...” turns out improvising in front of teenagers wasn’t as fun as it sounded,“Sorry, I’m...not too good with words, so...help yourself to these cupcakes I made for you guys. I made them as a way to say how huge of a pleasure it is to meet you all!”

As you turn around to unwrap the trays, Leshawna clears her throat to privately address the cohort,"One of two things are gonna happen. One, those cupcakes are filled with maggots and hair. Or two, it's the first actual food we're gettin’ on this set."

Everybody nods in agreement.

They were right to inspect the wrapping and texture with their noses and eyes.

Yet didn’t expect to have the flavour of delicate buttermilk crumble on their tongues.

Oh my God...

Maybe they were deprived from having treats so long on the show, but it was unanimously categorised as a whole new delicious nonetheless.

The punk delinquent scoffs over,“Yeah... I’m not buying that’s his wife.”

“That evil maniac with a permanent smile is probably holding her hostage!” The ginger geek dramatically pinpoints.

“I can see why, these are too die for!” Owen squeaks, scoffing down an entire cupcake, wrapping included, not comprehending what situation it would mean for you if you really were abducted.

“Hm... Maybe he’s paying her.” Gwen suggests alternatively after taking another glance at you: it was your arm around him. Too touchy to be forced...

“I’d understand if he was hot like me, but he’s not even halfway there! Where would he find someone willing to do all that for him? No amount of money should convince anyone to ever lose their dignity for the likes of him." Justin criticises out of his internal debate of skipping the cupcakes or not.

“You’d be shocked if you’ve seen the fansite.” Noah opposes like it was the most known thing.

Speaking of which,"Sierra.” Heather directs, taking sudden control of the situation and everyone’s eyes to peel towards the superfan whose mouth was staining in the same dye as her magenta hair, perking up from her snacking at the mention of her name,“You know everything about everybody. Say, is Chris paying that woman to pretend to be married to him for laughs?"

The girl whose lifeline was Total Drama quickly swallows the last portion of her cupcake to appease her idols with a packed answer,“Oh, no! It’s all true! Unfortunately. Those two got married way before Total Drama was aired. A lot happened’s... My mom waited years for Chris to propose to her and there he goes, chasing after that nobody! Do you have any idea how painful it is to see my mom’s husband having an affair? (Y/N) is nothing but a block of concrete, blinding Chris from seeing his true soulmate! A.k.a my mom!” The last few sentences gradually grazed with personal prejudice, but not enough to throw the next cupcake away.

“Wait, but if Chris did get married to your mother... Wouldn’t that make you his stepdaughter-?“ Alejandro posited, already having a hard time imagining Chris take that role biologically.

"So Chris,” Cody interrupts the impending awkward ambient Alejandro’s phrasing would bring, steering the conversation back, still bewildered,“...really does have a wife."

Bridgette takes her slo mo time in grabbing another frosted vanilla good, rethinking, the same man that laughed at their pain,"I...honestly don't know how to feel about that."

"Huuu... I feel like I went overboard with cupcakes, Chris!” you freak out to your husband, fidgeting with the sleeves of your turtleneck,“Why did I pick to make something so childish? I should've picked something more formal... Like a dish from my home country..."

"Relaaaaax, no one else is thinking about that." Chris assured, biting into one of your delicacies.

You continued to murmur on,“I wanted to make something universal, a collection of sweets so in case one likes a certain flavour more than others... I thought teenagers around here liked cupcakes... I feel like such a fool... I hope they don’t think I see them as childish...”

He grabs one and holds it horizontally to your lips, painting them yellow,“It’s not just teenagers that like them, (Y/N). Besides, they are children. Children like things that are childish.”

That’s true... Your paranoia’s sunk,“Well... They seem to be enjoying themselves. I’ve been worrying for nothing.” you smile, drawing your finger on his stubble to take for licking,“You had some icing there.”

Turns out, you were really nice.

The angel to Chris’ devil.

The sun to Chris' moon.

The calm to Chris’ energetic.

“So (Y/N)... I just...have a quick question on behalf of everyone else.” The CIT girl shields her mouth with her hand, like she didn’t want anyone else to hear.

“Of course, Courtney. Whatever would you like to know?” you welcome her, all kinds of possible questions cloud your mind.

She tightens your shoulders in her palms,“What the hell do you see in Chris?”

...You expected that one,“Why, I see a strong, handsome, hilarious man. A goal-driven, deep down caring, loving, in need of love man.”

Now the only true thing she heard was “goal-driven”- to kill them as spiritually as possible. Maybe even physically.

"You're not brainwashed, are you?" Her eyes widened like your answer had tossed her deeper in her horror.

"Get her to blink two times in a row if she needs help!" Tyler shouts, unintentionally defeating the purpose of being discreet from his clean intention.

"Hm?” Teenagers are so funny!,“It's not brainwash when it's love! After all, wouldn't you say you've found yourself in love with someone you never thought you'd be with?" You smile warmly at the type A when the butterflies fluttered an external reaction across her freckled face.

"Th-That's different!” she impulsively shrieked before closing her mouth in embarrassment. She looks around, and after making sure no one was judging her, she continues speaking, back to her whispering voice,“That’s Duncan. This is Chris.”

“Well, we both seem to have a type for the ones that went to jail, don’t we?” you wittily mention, giving her a wink to the similar parallel.

Leaving Courtney to her common dynamics contemplation, there was no better timing for Owen to ask if you had any more cupcakes to give.

“I’m so happy you liked them! I’ll tell you what, I can make more and send them to you."

“Don’t get too flattered. Bed crusher there would eat anything, even things you can’t call food.” The overruling antagonist scornfully gestures, her hair as black as her heart.

“...Ah, right.” you shouldn't have thought so highly of yourself over baking. To Owen, they probably weren’t good, just something to give his appetite.

“Well... That's not entirely true...” The foodie looks to the side uncomfortably for a moment from Heather’s harsh perspective,“Having eaten a lot of things gives me a solid judgement on a variety of tastes. With that said, I’d specifically be really happy to eat (Y/N)’s baked cupcakes again. You can't buy that kind of quality!"

Aw! “Thanks, Owen!” it’s no mystery why everyone was in his support back first season!

“You didn’t use any store bought cake mix, did you?” DJ asks, his naturally kind pitch of voice crunching up an otherwise accusing delivery his words may have played.

“Nope! If I was gonna have half of the ingredients already done for me, I may as well have just ordered the finish product.” the truth radiates through your magnetism, not as magnetizing as your husband, smothering you away in his arms.

For some reason, no one said anything right away. Like taking an exam, silence had scattered among these group of teenagers.

"I'm convinced she has Stockholm syndrome."

Up till Harold breaks it.

"Stockholm syndrome?! Come onn, you know that’s not a real thing!” Lindsay asserted, turning to Beth,“Is it a real thing?"

The nice-hearted nerd smacks a hand to her forehead. Rather than finding humor in uninformed Lindsay, Trent finds his eyes trapped on the sight of Chris’ hand holding onto yours, fingers locked, palms resting. Above all his faults, Chris...still had you.

That kind of love...hard to find, lucky to have.

#td chris #tdi x reader #chris mclean x reader #tdi #request #td chris mclean x reader #total drama island chris #total drama #total drama chris mclean #chris mclean #total drama chris #total drama sierra #total drama heather #total drama bridgette #tdi sierra #tdi lindsay #tdi courtney #td gwen #total drama island #total drama gwen #total drama courtney #tdi alejandro #total drama alejandro #td alejandro #tdi duncan #total drama duncan #td duncan #td courtney #tdi trent #tdi tyler

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 10/3/2023

september was not kind but we're back with a real making section babEY and lengthy all other sections

listening

SHIFTED by Jolynn J Chin, a progressive jazz (?) piano piece that changes time signatures on every bar. i am led to understand this is a massive technical achievement but more importantly to me it sounds cool as hell. this is a little funny bc pianist friends occasionally complain that the technically challenging pieces that are fun to play aren't that fun to actually listen to. spotify

the artist uploaded an explainer video that went well over my head but i have no music theory background. i know that not every video with a lady patiently talking through a problem on a whiteboard is going to be a physics video but spiritually this is a physics video to me

how'd i find this: spotify discover weekly

-

reading

lee winter's The Fixer. perfectly fine technical quality of writing but absolutely bizarre plot. there will be spoilers for this book bc i cannot talk about this book without them.

A naive activist is hired by a corporate villain but doesn’t realize it. Cue one awkward farce, a twisty puzzle, and the slowest of slow burns in this opposites-attract, ice queen romance. Nine years ago, aloof, icy Michelle Hastings chose career over love. She’s now living with that choice as she rules a secret corporation catering to the rich and powerful. Enter Eden Lawless. The guileless activist finds it a bit weird being employed by a mystery organization to bring down a corrupt mayor. But, hey, she’s up for a challenge. Much harder is getting her beautiful new boss out of her head. The pull between them is electric.

this was not the fanfic level of mean woman i prefer. this woman is a bit of a tsundere boss with some past regrets. like yeah her Company does awful shit but she herself is a very restrained sort of James Bond villain level of icy polite.

unfortunately the actual plot itself is so fucking bizarre.

one of my two concerns: the author is not Jewish but has written Michelle as such, and employed sensitivity readers. i do not know that it is in the very best of taste to have a Jewish woman as the head of a shadowy, textually evil, para-governmental organization pulling strings behind the scenes for the rich and powerful.

the other thing that really threw me is that the series of events we are concerned with, a mayoral election in small-town uhhhh maryland??? i have returned the book and cannot fact check-- seems to be a very thinly veiled rehashing of the 2016 presidential primaries. but as a mayoral campaign.

there is an obnoxious redheaded used car salesman who is running for national publicity for his used car business and writes nasty jingles about his main opponent, a very unpleasant woman who nevertheless gets things done but WAS a slumlord and DID ruin our activist Eden's life. everyone in the county is in her pocket. things are running quietly and well in town, and her platform is solar. the solar farms would take up literally all the actual farmland in the country and (spoiler) she is defeated bc the townspeople think this would be an eyesore and not actually bring that many jobs to the town. again, i stress this is a small town mayoral campaign. they are a college town but it is an EXTREMELY small lib arts college. she has the correct idea about renewables but downfall is that she personally is reprehensible and is going about renewables WRONG!!!

our main character Eden sinks this renewable energy plan bc, again, in college, legally-not-Hillary-Clinton got her dad fired from the local hospital and ran them out of town bc of Eden's protests against her slumlord activities.

then there is the objectively best candidate, a retired pediatrician in the very early stages of dementia who is sort of a puppet candidate for his wife, the actual political mind who hired the evil CEO Michelle's company through a shell company in order to sink her husband's opponent. VERY weird setup.

this was indirectly recced by a big name romance writer who would would not appreciate being tagged lol. i will not be reading the second half of this duology. too much stuff that made me go WHUH???

-

watching

The Big O is a 1999 and then 2003 detective noir mecha anime. i have never wondered what batman: the animated series would look like if it went in a different retrofuturist direction and put bruce wayne in mecha, but now i have that answer.

this show looks good as fuckin hell. there are SO many dutch angles and dials and gadgets and switches. there's a cut in the first episode that doesn't translate well to screenshots, to the interior of a luxury apartment building and the water in the pool is sloshing around as mechs fight outside.

ive only seen the first three episodes but im having a marvelous fucking time. very importantly for me, there is a robot who is a child but notorious womanizer Bruce Wayne Roger Smith isn't fuckin weird about it.

how i found it: this post reblogged by @ouroborosenso ! the line "You're a louse, Roger Smith." got one short sharp bark of laughter out of me, and a bone dry sense of humor is an excellent selling point. it's available on the internet archive (dubbed but no subtitles)

-

playing

im having a grand old time with g/enshin's new area. my shit did kind of get rocked with the revelation that the prisoners-- okay let's back up. the player character gets sent to prison on false charges so they can investigate something for the chief justice. backing up farther, the watery land of Fontaine runs on magic energy produced during its court trials. this incentivizes them to make the court trials full-on fucking dramatic productions with very little care for like. victims. once convicted (fontaine feels like it has a near 100% conviction rate, very much like japan) prisoners go to an underwater prison that is a more steampunk version of bioshock. these prisoners make the automated clockwork humanoid police force, as well as the automated clockwork police dogs. there is a panopticon.

the economy in the prison (cannot believe this game that wants me to spend money on anime waifus so i can watch their skirts billow teasingly in the wind while i fight big monsters also wants me to think about prison economies) anyway the economy in the prison is scrip-based. you get one free meal a day but everything else runs on scrip. apparently many people choose to stay in prison after their terms are up bc they have achieved some sort of power and stability there. says a lot about the surface world, don't it? wish we SAW literally any of that in the surface world!

i guess being very overt about drawing from a fifteen year old game is like. kosher? so many other games have drawn from bioshock, but genshin draws so heavily and frequently from Breath of the Wild that it was a little jarring to go from the last area with the cute little korok seed knockoffs and a lot of thinking about academic misconduct to somewhere with a flavor of politics i think a lot more about. as you travel throughout the land of genshin impact, you are quite involved in big diplomatic incidents and overthrowing various baddies, installing the correct people, things of this nature. i think this new land of Fontaine is the most overtly political in that literally all of your time here is spent thinking about exactly how this country's administration operates. it's not a real "hey look we've recreated the Torture Nexus" situation yet but i am curious about what sort of themes the next expansion will be chewing on. im also not quite done with the second of two giant quests that take place in the prison so stay tuned.

bonkers fucking game. wish it wasn't gambling based and didn't have to adhere so closely to chinese restrictions. wish literally ANY outlet was regularly covering this insane lore hiding under the gacha and grind systems

-

making

the goddamn couch covers are finally done. they are 9x12 and 12x16 100% cotton drop cloths from Chicago Art Supply, and im quite happy with their quality (evenness of weave, normal selvededge, normal seams). i used rit all purpose dye in fuchsia (hot bucket method with colorstay, more on that later) and the itajime triangle method of shibori dyeing. this involved folding the fabric accordion-wise, folding it like a flag, then sandwiching it between two triangles of wood or plastic with many many many rubber bands or twine.

it was a right fucking bitch to prewash, dry, and fold these fuckers. mack was deeply unhelpful. if i need to wash them in future i will be visiting a laundromat.

i could not procure enough dye locally for the recommended 1 packet per 1 lb of dry fabric (4 and 8 pounds respectively) so i did a .75 strength dye bath, since i wasn’t trying to dye the entire thing perfectly and evenly. i think you could probably do a half or quarter strength with more time and be fine. the photo on the left is the smaller dropcloth after a half hour in the bucket (unfolded in the washer to reduce. well to just reduce many problems) , and i did not like that high of a contrast bc i did want some color on all the fabric. so i unfolded and dunked the whole thing back in for literally thirty seconds and it promptly sucked up the rest of the available dye molecules, making it lower contrast than i wanted. so it goes.

i didn’t like how even and neat the triangle motif was on this go round (when deciding on colors and patterns for this project i was thinking about coral and pink cow print but did not want a literal pink cow print couch), so for the next one i did a much worse job folding and was way more aggressive with the rubber bands. i also folded it in half lengthwise to make the accordion folds easier for myself, something i did not do for the smaller one.

and here she is through my balcony screen door after an hour in the dye bucket and a wash with half the recommended amount of fixative to get it to bleed a Little for better coverage of the fabric but keep it lower contrast. i am not completely thrilled with how this came out bc i feel it reads a little sorority girl tshirt. im not sure if making the motif/triangles smaller would have helped any, and even though i was not folding it in half every time you can only fold something so many times before it becomes extremely cumbersome.

couch before the cushion, the cover loosely on the couch. i am going to safety pin and tuck the shit out of this but do not currently have the bandwidth to actually sew it. we’ll see how this goes! kind of a pain in the ass and physically taxing but not a lot of actual hands on time, and now the dyeing bug is out of my system.

preview of next project: i am going to repaint this somewhat shabby globe bar with northern hemisphere constellations :)

#tuesday again #tuesday again no problem

[etirabys]

// cw status neuroticism, 

There's this widely recognized phenomenon where a lot of male writers write about self-insert characters who are kind of mediocre pairing up with a woman that has all the qualities they like in women, and reading a lot of this stuff gets pretty tiresome – and sometimes, because of the other stuff this kind of writing gets bundled up with, uncomfortable or upsetting.

But the backlash against this gets distilled so frequently into "if these were real people X would never date Y", "what is X doing with this loser" – that is, "X is out of Y's league", which is a sentiment / concept-pattern towards which I have, to my own surprise, an almost moral disgust. I think it's because these evaluations are the boldest and most explicit I see people being about their buy-in to the model that status permeates everything, you can tell what someone's status is by knowing their traits and capabilities, and that people of sufficiently different status cannot date each other.

(e.g. from a tumblr post I love 90% of: “And not that this is even the point, but why are these supposedly sexy and dynamic and interesting women BOTHERING with your boring garbage ‘on the skinny side of average’ protagonist? Why did you write it like this, Peter?””)

I think people are normally not very frank about believing this, and I like that they aren't because I don't want to live in a world where that's true, and so when they are frank about believing it when it comes to the one specific case of wanting to make fun of writers whose mediocre self inserts, I freak out badly because it's evidence that this is TRUE and everyone PRIVATELY KNOWS THIS and we all live in American-high-schools-as-depicted-by-movies hell and everyone is lying about it because, I don't know, the zeitgeist forbids it.

I have a similar horror/disgust reaction to the notion that sufficiently attractive women can pick anyone they like. Not to pick on the author here – I only happen to have this example mentally available because I love their fanfiction and have read it many times:

"Yeah, it's all cool," Kon said. "Lex's people are almost here. Hey, Kory, if you couldn't date Superman, what superhero would you date?"

Kory blinked. "I do not want to date Superman."

"No lie," Cassie muttered.

"Shut up," Kon hissed at her. "Yeah, but if you did want to, but you couldn't, who would be number two?"

"I don't understand," Kory said. "If I wanted to date someone, I would date him."

Kon paused and studied all seven golden feet of her, amber hair tumbling to her knees, and the scanty purple costume barely covering her breasts. "Okay, fine, nevermind."

Really? Dating works like this? The dating world of humans is a cacophony of weird preferences and relationship constraints and couples where I privately think one of them is really interesting/likeable and the other isn't but they seem really happy and they must see something in each other that I don’t... and you can have sufficiently hot people that they could date anyone they wanted???

I think this kind of thing is much more common in female characters than male, and it's uncomfortably obvious to me why: attractive women have more sexual capital than attractive men – in fact, their sexual capital comprises far more of their total capital / status resources than men – and therefore when people write about them and how much capital they have, it's in terms of how desirable they are and how they can date anyone they like. Even among feminist authors! Possibly especially among feminist authors, because feminist authors are more interested in writing about women who have a lot of status/capital!

[coeluvr]

Hi there!🫶 First of all i wanted to thank you for getting me out of the worst reading slump I ever had- seriously your story is amazing (i love that mc *doesn't* play the whole 'forgive and forget' thing, but that you actually offer the oppurturnity of MC being out for blood) 🫡 that being said is there a overview of all characters besides the LI's? Unlike Mr. Luceris '#IMissMyWifeEveryday', i got a horrible memory and forget after some months😭 another question- are you okay with fanfics? in general and if so- are there any rules for them (like e.g. where to upload them, do you (noz want to be tagged or if scenes of patreon content can be mentioned briefly ((usually i would assume no))?)✨ I'm just a lil mc lover and would like to write about my mc's unhinged questionable behavior (especially playing around with the trauma and the ptsd here!).🫶

Lastly- what do you think of the song 'Brutus' of the Buttress for a revenge seeking, mentally unstable MC (since this seems to be a popular rough cut for many people)? I love how a tinfoil can be made between MC and Luceris, especially Luceris sorta creating a mini him (but worse) with what he did. Ironically his mercy on MC by letting them live is the most ruthless thing he could have done and i'm living for their cat fights 💅

have a good day coe!🫶

Hello, anon! 🥺💗 Thank you for your kind words aaa 😭

There isn't an overview of all the characters but I do plan on adding something of the sorts to the demo.

I can just do one here just for you though lol.

Luceris - Emperor / Murderer of MC's family and god knows how many other people / Helios' father

Lancelot - Emperor's Shield / Saved MC from Luceris crazy antics that night / Hunter's uncle

Farah - Emperor's dead wife / The woman whose room MC can burn / Helios' mother

Ikram - General of the Imperial Army / Woman who hates MC for no apparent reason / Vincent's mother

Naima - Royal Mage / Only normal person around here? / Fadiya's mother

Aside from them I don't think any other character (that isn't an RO) in the current demo is really relevant.

There's Eadred/Eadith but they make their appearance in the short stories and yeah that is about it. If I'm forgetting anyone, my bad. 🫣

Fanfics would be lovely! I don't have a preference where it is uploaded so post it wherever you want. I won't interact with it (aka won't read it) but I'm sure everyone else in the fandom will love it. 🥰

Patreon content can be mentioned except for the interactive romantic snippets because those are not canon and I don't want anyone to be misled about those. 😭 Anything from the short stories can be mentioned since it is all canon.

I love that song!! I see the entire song as a sibling dynamic or mentor and student type of dynamic so I personally can't see it for MC.

I can see parts of the song but not it in its entirety because even with the envy that the character in the song feels, there is still some love and care towards "the one who has it all" and I don't know, I just don't see MC right now caring for Luceris lol.

Thank you for the ask! 💗

#coe answers

[theoldaeroplane]

I inbox you the following: I must know what compels you about Link. I trust that he is Good and Excellent, but I simply yearn for an essay on what little niche trait makes you wanna fandom the fuck out of this little guy. 5-10 paragraphs of hyper fixated ramblings preferred, but not required.

ohhh starkid you've given me A GIFT. a GIFT.

So some background first, I think. I've always liked the Zelda games, in the way you play a mainstream game and are like "yeah that was good!" I played Ocarina of Time and Windwaker as a kid. I played Breath of the Wild when it first came out and had a fun time with it. Yeah. Good games! Fun mechanics. Characters seem a little flat, but they aren't why I'm here. What was the story again? Oh, right---yeah, they gave Zelda an actual personality that doesn't start and end with "princess" in the new one! She's a scientist! How neat.

Then Tears of the Kingdom comes out. I've just gotten a Steam Deck for my birthday and wow, turns out you can emulate TOTK already?? I try it out immediately. It's janky, but I love messing with emulators, so I keep going. I certainly don't have the cash to buy TOTK properly.

And in TOTK, for me, it starts with Zelda. It starts with this young woman barely out of her teens being flung into a horrible, frightening situation, and being forced to make an absolutely terrifying choice. And it turns out if you start looking at her more closely, that choice only becomes more and more viscerally upsetting as you incorporate things about her from the previous game.

It got me invested, and I still adore Zelda. I could probably write just as long a deliberation about her. But we're talking about Link.

I read a little bit of BOTW fanfic back when it first came out. It was almost all Sidon/Link stuff, because I liked the ship for a number of reasons, and one evening after another night of mainlining TOTK I decide to go look and see if I can find some that I remembered being good. I did, and they were still mostly good! But there was one in particular, with one line in particular. "You're Always Almost There," by Polyhexian. (On mobile so no link, sorry!)

'One hundred years ago,’ Link signed, 'A Guardian shot me through the chest,’ he grimaced as if in pain from even mentioning it, 'I died with everyone else, and then someone else decided to bring me, and only me, back to life to fix everything, to save everyone. I have to stop the Calamity. I have to save Hyrule. I have to fix the world. I am not a real person. I am everyone’s unfinished business.’

I had read it before. When I read it this time I closed my browser, opened Typora, and started writing. It wasn't more than a random narrative sifting through half collected ideas, and I neither finished nor posted it, but it got me started. A few weeks later I started writing To Be Well, which among other things directly addresses the idea that Link does not think of himself as a "real person"---and that he isn't sure if he wants to.

As I've written him, I've found more and more about him and his setting that fascinates me. Part of this is certainly that Link is intentionally designed as a "placeholder" character (word of God is he was deliberately designed to be androgynous to make it easier for more people to project on him). At first I was really fascinated by his relationship with Zelda, and wanted to look at that through a queerplatonic lens. In doing that I found myself trying to work through some problems of my own, which it turns out is just how I write fanfiction I guess: projecting! Huzzah! I decided to lean into it, and wrote "You do not have to be good," which is a story that takes some liberties with the canon to explore the subject of toxic purity and the toll it takes. Also, the logistics of kissing someone with a beak.

What makes Link compelling to me is ... what do you do, when you aren't allowed to be a person? What do you do when you've been told all your life things are like this and this and this, and that you must behave thusly?  What if you learn it was never true? How do you go from "perfect" to "real"? What does it even mean, being a person? How do you start? Is it even worth it?

I feel like I'm only scratching the surface, haha. I also love Link for whatever the hell he's doing with gender, and I've been having an absolute blast writing him as predominantly communicating via sign language. I'm playing fast and loose with a lot of things that only get half-mentioned in canon, and having a good old time playing in the sandbox of Hyrule. They're huge games and there's a lot of space for me to set up shop!

#loz link #tbw link #love that little freak #let him rest

[wroteclassicaly]

Oh PLEASE write more plus-sized fics. I'm big too, and it literally is so healing to stop trying to not think about it, and just deep dive directly into the whole thing and explore it. Y'know like what's hard or negative about it and how it hurts, but then also what's good about it and what you wish you were freer to feel positive about. And then, obviously most importantly, to have your blorbo love you and want you and the body that you're in, no qualifiers.

Like with Steve, I'm a total sucker for the idea of him, like, telling himself he wasn't into big girls back in high school (because in his Douchebag King Steve era, there were certain things he was "supposed" to not like), and then he falls very deeply in love with someone who's plus-sized, and he's a complete convert. Like, doesn't even look at skinny minnies anymore. He is strictly a "meat-on-her-bones" kind of dude from now on.

But Eddie, on the other hand, I feel has not only known from the get-go that he's into big women, they're actually his preference. He would get all the lyrics to Fat Bottom Girls tattooed on his heart if he could. His #1 goal in life is a big tiddy goth GF. He thinks fat women are hot, and he is looking specifically for a fat woman to fuck. He gets actively offended when he hears about the mean things that people say about plus-sized bodies - he straight up cannot understand why it seems everyone else doesn't think they're as beautiful as he does. He wants to hold his fat girlfriend up, like, lion king style and show her off to every person that exists until they are shamed by how much hotter she is than them that they never show their face again. He loves them. He loves fat girls.

Are these headcanons wildly self-indulgent? Yeah, yeah they really are. That's the point. And I love it. I love writing about it, I love reading about it, and I totally support people doing it as much as possible. Like, PLEASE go ahead and do more 🥰🥰🥰

I can definitely agree to most of this ❤️💯

#asks

[unreadpoppy]

Must like dogs

Raphael x Fem!Tav; Modern AU

Summary: Raphael meets Tav's dogs

Read on AO3

A/N: I thought if I'm going to come back to writing, it needs to be something near and dear to my heart. And what's nearest and dearest then my dogs? This is very self indulgent, very self inserty and possibly a bit OOC. Also, the dogs used here are my IRL dogs, because I love them.

After three months of talking and going on various dates with each other, Raphael and Tav had officially begun dating. During a monthly get together, Tav broke the news to her friends. While some of them did question the age gap between the two, overall, everyone had been supportive.

The night went on as usual, and Tav couldn’t be happier. She was finally in a relationship with someone she really liked and that she could see a future with. Tav was texting Raphael about people’s reactions when Karlach approached her. 

“You know, I never struck Raphael as a dog person.” She said, while drinking some beer. 

Tav put the phone down and frowned. “What do you mean?” 

“Oh, you know, cause you have three dogs.” Karlach took another sip. “And since you guys are dating, he has met them, right?” 

Tav’s eyes widened. “Uhm, not…exactly.” In their short time together, while she had visited - and slept - in his place numerous times, Raphael had never actually set foot inside Tav’s home. Tav could feel herself descend into anxiety. “I-I-I never brought him to my house because I didn’t mention my dogs to him, ‘cause you know, some people are put off by that.” She grabbed the tieflings biceps. “Karlach, what if he doesn’t like dogs and breaks up with me?”

The tiefling woman chuckled. “Wow, soldier, breathe.” She said. “I don’t know him very well, but I doubt he would end things because of a few dogs.” Karlach put a hand on Tav’s shoulder. “Besides, who doesn’t like dogs?”

Tav gulped and nodded. “You’re right. I’ll talk with him about it.” She hugged Karlach. “Thank you.” 

She put a hand on Tav’s head and ruffled her hair. “No trouble, soldier. And if anything goes wrong, you know who to call.” 

Tav nodded, and excused herself, saying she needed to use the bathroom. She locked the door and called Raphael’s number. He quickly picked it up. 

“Hello?” 

“Raphael? It’s me, Tav.” 

“Hello, dear.” She could hear the smile in his voice. “In need of something?”

“No…actually, yes. I need to ask you something very important.” Tav cleared her throat. “In fact, it might be the most important thing I’ve ever asked you.” 

“...go on.” Raphael briefly hesitated. 

“What’s your opinion on dogs?” 

There was a pause. “Why do you ask?” 

“Just answer the question.” 

She heard Raphael sigh. “I am not particularly fond of how energetic and loud dogs can get. I much prefer cats.” 

Tav sighed and then groaned, placing a hand on her forehead. That was not good at all. 

“Tav? What is wrong?” He asked. 

“It’s just…I may or may not have three dogs.” She spoke fast but he was able to understand it. 

“What? How come you never told me about them?” 

“Well, I just thought I would say it if you ever came to my house but you never did so I…I never talked about them.” She heard him sigh. “Please, don’t break up with me.” 

Hearing the way Tav said that, Raphael said that. “I would not do that, dear.” He cleared his voice. “However, if we are to continue this relationship, I will have to go over to your house eventually.” 

“Yeah…” Tav said. She took a deep breath. “We should get this over quickly.”

“I agree. I’ll go to your house tomorrow, around 5 pm-”

“No! That’s the time they eat and they will be very frisky. It’s better if you come earlier, like 2 pm.” 

“...Alright, then I’ll be there at 2 pm. Until then, Tav.”

“Until then. Love you.” She said and turned the call off. She sighed. She would have to have a very serious conversation once she got home. 

…

Raphael didn’t know how he felt. It was not nervousness, as he would never be afraid of meeting some dogs. But he couldn’t help but..worry? He never spent too much time around these animals and so, he didn’t know what to expect. The possibility of things getting out of control made him antsy. On one side, Raphael needed to trust Tav and her competence in keeping her pets in check. On the other, these creatures were unpredictable. 

Reaching his destination, Raphael parked the car outside the building. Tav lived in an apartment, and although he had dropped her off there time and time again, he never entered the building. 

Earlier, Tav had texted him what the number of her apartment was and as he made his way towards her door, Raphael could hear her voice from the other side. 

“You all have to be nice and behave, okay? I really like this guy so don’t blow it for me.” 

Raphael wondered. ‘Was she talking to the dogs?’ He shook his head. ‘No, Tav wouldn’t do this type of thing.’ 

He pressed the doorbell and there was the noise of barking from the other side, followed by Tav saying “Shuuu” to all of them. Raphael took a deep breath.

It would be an interesting afternoon. 

Tav opened the door. She was wearing an oversized t-shirt that barely covered her tights, though he could see that she had shorts on as well. Alongside her, three dogs passed through the door, one barking at him, quickly shushed by Tav. The others sniffed at him. Raphael scrunched his face as he looked at them. 

There was a small one and two medium sized dogs. The smallest has big dark eyes, with gray, white and brown fur and was the first to walk away from him. The one that barked had white and black fur and seemed to be the most agitated. Lastly, the third one had somewhat long black fur, and as soon as Raphael took a step forwards, the black one moved back. 

Tav took his hand. “Come, get inside and I can properly introduce you all.” She brought him to the couch, letting him sit. As soon as he did, the black and white dog walked towards him. 

“That’s Malta, she’s the only girl. Come here.” Tav motioned for her to come near them. Tav grabbed one of Raphael’s hands. “You gotta let her sniff you first. Then, give her a little pet on the head.” 

Raphael looked down at the dog and did not like the way she looked at him. Malta huffed at him. Tav turned to him and said “You have to relax or else they’ll act up.” 

“I am perfectly calm.” Raphael said, prompting Tav to raise a brow at him. His lips formed a thin line. Almost as if to prove a point, he put his hand forwards, allowing Malta to sniff it. Then, he lightly grazed his fingers on the top of her head. 

“Gods, you really are bad at this.” Tav said and chuckled. Raphael raised a brow. “You call that petting?” 

She swatted his hand away and properly gave Malta some love, putting both hands on the dog’s head and scratching her. Then, she kissed her head. Malta’s brown eyes almost turned black with how dilated her pupils were as she looked at her owner. “Good girl! Sit here.” Tav motioned to the spot on the couch next to her that was free, and the dog jumped there, laying down and placing a head on Tav’s lap. 

Raphael couldn’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy, until he reminded himself: It’s just some dog.

During this interaction, Raphael noticed how the small dog and the black dog had laid far away from them on the floor. “Okay, now it’s time to meet the others. Billy, come here!”

The black dog stood up and slowly walked towards Raphael, sniffing his boots. As he did so, Tav caressed his backside. “Billy is the youngest and filled with energy, but he gets a bit shy around strangers. If you give him some scratches, he’ll get back to his normal self.” 

Raphael followed the same motion as Tav, petting his fur. Billy’s tail wagged and he place his front paws in between Raphael’s legs on the couch, getting closer to his face and putting his tongue out to lick his face. Immediately, the man turned his head. “Ugh.” 

Tav chuckled. “I forgot to say. Billy really likes giving kisses.” She put his head towards the dog and he licked her chin. Raphael’s face scrunched. Tav then put a hand on Billy’s chest, where there was a tuft of white fur, and made him get back down. Quickly, the dog settled on the man’s feet, to his dismay. 

Finally, the small dog walked towards them, in a funny way. “That’s Garu. He’s the oldest, at fourteen years old. And he’s the only one that I know the breed of, shih tzu.” 

Garu barely sniffed Raphael and then walked away to somewhere near the couch. Moving his head, Raphael saw a small dog bed on which he laid on. “Garu doesn’t really like hanging around with people. Nowadays, he practically only sleeps.” 

“I see.” A lazy dog. How…charming. 

“So, that was all of them! What’d you think?” If he was honest, he did not like dogs. But, looking at Tav’s face, how she loved these little creatures and how they obeyed her, he could not bring himself to be so harsh. 

Instead, he said. “I could get used to them.” 

Tav gave him the brightest of smiles and kissed his cheek. “Great! Now, let’s watch something.” Tav grabbed the tv controller and turned it on, putting on some cheesy romantic comedy. 

The dogs had behaved throughout the rest of the day, and while Raphael still thought the idea of a loyal dog was boring, if tolerating them would make him look better in Tav’s eyes and allow him to enter her home, he could at least put some effort in. 

#raphael x tav #raphael bg3 #raphael baldur's gate 3 #raphael the cambion #tav bg3 #tav #fem!tav #dogs #my writing

[relaxxattack]

meta about Rose’s relationships with her mom and Kanaya…..

WAAUGH ok so like…

roses relationship with her mom the most nebulous thing of all time because they really give it basically ZERO screentime like we’re never fully able to understand how much of mom was actually cold or enjoying of mind games and how much of it was sincere

it can be assumed that a portion of it was definitely sincere just based on like.. wizards, or lack thereof, and roses conversation with roxy about her love of wizards and what that means about her views on mom

and at that point you have to assume that mom was mostly well meaning but perhaps not all there in the head at ALL, enough for rose to make up this cold calculating woman who bizarrely coordinated everything about her life including the decor just to make rose as miserable as possible

and therefore rose lives her entire life thinking her mother hates her and likely lashing out in weird ways and trying to do all kinds of shit for attention (the no tears coconut shampoo tumblr post comes to mind) and it’s basically just so desperately sad. she is so fucking lonely and tries so hard to come off as “above all that”, she thinks shes soooo self aware just because she knows her mother has issues and knows her situation is bad. she goes off about all this and how terribly unwanted it makes her feel and the other adults around her are like “wow you’re so self aware!” and she gets so satisfied about that, like, yes she’s so self aware, she’s so smart and understands her problems and mental health so well, she must be entirely above it actually. nothing else to dissect there.

and then kanaya comes in and kanaya is so very painfully similar but also not above it all. kanaya has about as much trouble saying things as rose does but unlike rose she’s not afraid to admit when she’s scared or wrong

kanaya is so bad at social cues but rose has made cues her whole life and so they are CONSTANTLY misunderstanding each other, circling around and around the point but kanaya keeps taking jabs at the issues and rose just tries to flirt the problems away.

this is literally just an incoherent fucking ramble because tbfh i need to reread acts 2-5 and write a fucking dissertation on rose and kanaya so i can say a thing that actually makes sense but the TLDR of the matter is. i am foaming at the mouth over them

also i know canon sort of implies towards act 6 that mom was well meaning but mostly off her rocker but personally i MUCH prefer the hc dynamic that rose and her mom have where mom is just as fucking dramatic, just bad at expressing emotion and shit (the rose lalonde vampire slayer fic has such a GOD TIER example of this, please read that fic everyone) and basically yeah that version of mom is actually the canon one To Me

#hsmeta #THIS LITERALLY MAKES NO SENSE SORRY.

[bugeyedfreaks]

Here’s what everyone was totally waiting for: my unsolicited thoughts on this cartoon man panel thing I found that got posted on YouTube! I… ended up writing MUCH more than I thought… but you know what, I can’t do text cuts on mobile. So I’m not cutting it. Sorry not sorry for forcing you all to read my opinions. 😆

I just kind of focused on the PPG parts because those are really mostly what I was interested in and scrubbed through the rest (since I’m not a huge fan of Foster’s, love WoY but just am not as invested in it as deeply, aaaaand I’ve only seen one or two episodes of Kid Cosmic). The whole PPG section was essentially me just nodding my head at all the stuff I knew that was repeated from other interviews (immediately blurting, “COWARD,” when he said he wouldn’t name them Pink/Green/Blue, occasionally laughing at the “I’m weird~, I’m artsy~, I’m not like other girls~” type of comments 🤣) but mostly agreeing on what he said about the girls. I mean, no surprises there! It’s cool to see how he’s thought about it all, especially in regards to the 2016 reboot and the live action thing.

…althooooooough…

I mean, agh, I dunno if I would say them getting older takes the Powerpuff out of the Powerpuff Girls (like… not gonna lie, REALLY bummed my mood to hear him go, “Oh, if they get older they’re not Powerpuff anymore, they’re just three super girls,” like…… I dunno, similar to other comments he’s made in the past that have irritated me, I’m sure it might’ve just come out bad and he didn’t mean it that way, but the way he said it just made me feel awful for the characters… sheesh, Craig, God forbid the girls grow up, then they’re just like eeeevery other woman, they’re not ~special~ anymore 😬😬😬) but like I understand that, what makes the girls different than other superheroes, specifically in the OG show, is that they’re little kids and they deal with kid issues. But… they’re also special because they’re sisters! They also have this cool id, ego, superego thing going on (I guess it’s more accurate to call it their heart, mind, and soul connection, now that I’m re-reading this, but what other superhero team has that? It’s very unique to them). Those are just two other big parts of who they are! I don’t think it’s impossible to have them be adults with adult issues (there could certainly be similar types of adult responsibilities that might serve as “kryptonite” as well, ones that are also more universally relatable). And I don’t think it’s impossible to make something with these three very interesting, iconic, strong characters in a setting where their femininity still wouldn’t be the main focus. They still would be living very unique lives: they don’t have secret identities like most superheroes, they still could be trying to live “normally” despite their amazing powers, like… it’s not that you automatically have to focus on them being women all of a sudden when they get older. You can still treat them like, you know, people. Why it seems like there’s an inability for these reboot creators to do that, whether they’re writing them young or old, I’m not sure (…I mean on a certain level I know but I won’t let myself rant about that). …also, yeah, like I’ve said before on here, for live-action you’d need a much bigger budget to even begin to give any of the villains worthy representation! Anyway. I guess tl;dr I personally would of course prefer them be their kids selves because that’s the original concept but yikes dude. I dunno, the comment just rubbed me the wrong way. 🫤

…also, I don’t know if it’s just me, but he seems to really light up talking about the Foster’s thing he wants to do. I would really, really, really want him to just work on THAT instead of doing that plus a PPG reboot. That kind of passion put into a project is great! I keep thinking about how PPG suffered with Craig having little to no involvement with it while working on Foster’s, and keep thinking about how… yeah, essentially, the PPG reboot is happening because money. Which, it is what it is, let’s face it, but I just hate thinking how, if they’re being worked on at the same time, the quality might suffer on one or the other, and I have a nagging feeling that it would be the PPG that would suffer, especially since I don’t really detect that same genuinely excited feeling he seems to have about the Foster’s thing when he’s talking about the PPG. …I dunno. I just feel like the, “Stop, stop, he’s already dead!” kid and I don’t want the series to needlessly suffer more. 🫠

Also that whole “bigger battles, tougher stakes,” etc., thing for the PPG… like, yeah, sounds cool I guess, but I hope it’s fun? It sounds like the edgy kind of tagline I would hear from these kinds of animation bros who want a darker, super-bloodier, serious PPG. I, too, love a good brawl and some gore now and then, but there is…… a balance. I hope he doesn’t veer too off-course in an attempt to make the series what other people haven’t made it. It’s a cursed enough series for something like that to happen. I dunno. I am trying my HARDEST to stay neutral about it guys, I am going to try to just bleach my brain and forget anything being said about the reboot. 😩

#count the number of times I write ‘I dunno’ lol it’s a lot #also I wrote ‘suffer’ a lot………….. oh boy 🤣 #anyway cool panel and hope he made looooots of mooonnneeyyy from the gallery show haha

[edettethegreat]

In honor of the end of my second year of college, here’s a short summary of every short story, book, and play I had to read:

(this is part 2 of this post)

[ trigger warning: mentions of both abortion and rape somewhere in here. Probably also murder. Because yeah these are literature class assignments, what sorta subject matter do you expect? ]

—————————————

short stories

—————————————

The Tell-Tale Heart-

Narrator, while killing a guy: I am definitely not crazy.

Cops: hey we heard some noise here, is everything alright?

Narrator: haha yeah I definitely didn’t kill a guy!

Cops: oh that’s good, well have a good night sir!

Narrator:…

Narrator: ok OK you caught me I killed him!! I killed him because his eye was just too weird!!

Cops: I think.. this guy might be crazy.

Rapaccini’s Daughter-

Giovanni: wow that girl next door is so pretty

Beatrice: *touches a lizard, which instantly dies*

Giovanni: that was kinda creepy actually.

Beatrice: *smiles at him*

Giovanni: nevermind she’s still pretty

Bartleby the Scrivener-

Narrator: hey would you mind doing your job for once

Bartleby: I’d prefer not to.

Narrator: that’s fair have a nice day

Lamb to the Slaughter-

Mary’s Husband: so I may have cheated on you…

Mary: oh, that’s perfectly fine

Mary, killing him: I don’t mind at all actually.

The Necklace-

Mathilde: oh no I lost my friend’s diamond necklace!!

Mathilde: *spends the next ten years working to pay off the debt*

Her friend: You idiot. You absolutely buffoon. That necklace was fake.

The Story of an Hour-

Loise: it sure sucks that my husband died, but it doesn’t suck enough to trigger my fatal heart condition

Her husband: ‘Sup! I’m alive!

Louise: Oh no! My heart! *dies*

Hansel and Gretel-

Hansel: wow our parents really hate us don’t they

Gretel: well I mean they abandoned us in the woods so they wouldn’t have to feed us anymore. So. Figure it out for yourself.

Little Red Cap-

Little red-cap: I would absolutely love to murder a wolf.

Rumplestiltskin-

Rumplestiltskin: I bet you’ll never guess my name!

Rumplestiltskin: It’s Rumplestiltskin by the way.

The Queen: is it by any chance Rumplestiltskin?

Rumplestiltskin: asdjkhskl WHAT how did you guess??

The Dog and the Sparrow-

Sparrow: hey please don’t kill my friend Dog over there

Carter: hey how about you shut up. *kills the Dog*

Sparrow:…

Sparrow: I see. So you have chosen Death. *proceeds to torture and kill this man, as he should*

Young Goodman Brown-

Goodman: I had this really weird dream and now I gotta be suspicious of my wife for the rest of my life

The Lottery-

Townspeople: Ritualized murder is fun!!

A Good Man is Hard to Find-

Grandma: you seem like such a sweet young man. Please don’t kill my whole family.

The Misfit, actively killing them: you seem like a sweet old lady. Sorry I’m gonna kill you now. *kills her too*

The Smallest Woman in the World-

Everyone: wow that woman sure is small!

A Very Old Man With Enormous Wings-

Priest: yeah that’s not an angel, that’s just a dude with wings.

Everyone in the town: Shut up— that totally is an angel!

The old man with the wings: *just wants to be left alone. Is Not having a good time*

The Guest-

Daru: On the one hand, ACAB. On the other hand, I don’t condone murder. So it seems I find myself in a moral conundrum.

Hills Like White Elephants-

The girl: I may or may not want an abortion.

The guy: so… which is it?

The girl: guess.

—————————————

books

—————————————

Uncle Tom’s Cabin-

Tom: well, after all of the things I’ve been through, I am now dying.

Everyone, including the audience: NO NO don’t you dare die DON’T-

Tom: *dies*

Everyone: *crying, sobbing, screaming, overall not having a very good times*

Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglas-

Frederick Douglas: …and that’s how learning to read and write helped me gain my freedom!

Walden-

Thoreau: I’m not like other girls. I live in the woods.

The Stranger-

Meursault: I killed a guy because it was very hot outside.

The court: The’s the dumbest reason to commit murder we’ve ever heard.

Meursault: huh it seems they’ve given me the death penalty. Why’s they do that? That’s so unfair.

—————————————

plays

—————————————

Oleanna-

Carol: hey I see you’ve given me a failing grade.

John: Yes, that’s because you didn’t understand the material. But I can tutor you to help you get a better mark on the final.

Carol: Or, alternatively, I could accuse you of rape and pass by default?

John: wait. what.

Andre’s Mother-

Cal: It sure is tragic that Andre died, isn’t it?

Andre’s Mother: …

Cal: great talk we’ve had here today.

A View from the Bridge-

Eddie: guys, I think Rodolpho is gay.

Everyone: what makes you say that?

Eddie: well he’s just so pretty…

Eddie: …and kissable..

Eddie: y’know. He looks like the sort of guy I’d wanna kiss

Everyone: …

Dutchman-

Lula: hi stranger. I’m gonna aggressively flirt with you now.

Clay: haha well this is kinda weird, but at least you’re not a serial killer or something, right?

Lula, while stabbing him: lmao yeah that would be pretty messed up!

Topdog/Underdog-

Lincoln: hey isn’t it messed up that our parents names us Lincoln and Booth? It’s like they want you to kill me or something—

Booth, killing him: yeah that would be pretty messed up, wouldn’t it?

#The tell tale heart #edgar allen poe #Rapaccini’s daughter #Nathaniel hawthorne #bartleby the scrivener #herman melville #roald dahl #the necklace #guy de maupassant #the story of an hour #kate chopin #hansel and gretel #the brothers grimm #Rumplestiltskin #young goodman brown #the lottery #shirley jackson #a good man is hard to find #Albert camus #hills like white elephants #ernest hemingway #The stranger #uncle tom’s cabin #classic lit #classic literature memes

[merrivia]

in ur opinion who are the hottest characters in cp and who are the least ;)

Haha what an excellent question.

And because clearly I can't just be like here's the list of hotties, enjoy, you did get me thinking.

I think fiction- and the way Pacat writes in particular- offers us this really interesting space in terms of 'attraction', as I mean, it's all just this lovely, indulgent hypothetical anyway. And what makes a character 'attractive' kind of just exists in the imagination? Like we are free to imagine Damen and Laurent for instance, in particular ways physically beyond the broad strokes of big, olive-skinned and dark haired vs blue-eyed blond, as there is no exact visual for us. The other part to is the idea of 'proximity'- you know, how in real life we often fall for the people around us? Who we can get to know or who we 'see' over and over? So as we read and inhabit a fictional world, we are approximating these things - we're inside character's heads, around them, getting to know them etc.,. And I think all of that plays a part in this mimicry of real life attraction?

It's such an interesting weird blurring between knowing a character is made up and a small part of your brain kind of making judgements as if they're real.

[But merrivia this was for fun...I know and I'm sorry 😂]

I also want to say that having a particular physical 'type' is a really fascinating concept for me, because I think it's rooted in all sorts of psychological issues we have swirling around in our subconscious? I don't think perhaps we can always control it, but I do think it's an important part of life to examine those biases we have, too. I had a type when I was younger, but I outgrew those ideas over time and don't really have any specific physical preferences, so all of this really is based on personality mostly, for me!

I've also based this list on how we meet characters in the books, as opposed to 'older characters when they were younger' for example.

So:

*tied position: Damen, to me, is the hottest. I think it's his intelligence and honesty and goodness and willingness to love. And yeah...okay fine, his fighting prowess and his physical strength. In real life, I don't care for that, in fact that would intimidate the hell out of me, but reading him literally outclass everyone else in the novels is beyond attractive. I also love love love, how smart and witty he is, and how he can match Laurent in that way. Also: the dimple /screams into the void/. In many ways Damen has qualities I admire, and I wish I had more of. How disciplined he is, his easy natural charm with others, how comfortable he is with his own body, how open and light he can be when it comes to sex while still being respectful, how he isn't actually vain over his looks and how he's very romantic at heart...that's all very attractive to me. He has his flaws, I know, but I just think he's really hot. And tied at that spot is...Auguste. I actually think, in real life, Auguste would be exactly the kind of guy I would have had a major crush on. Handsome and good-hearted and honourable and loves his family? I can see me watching Auguste with a younger Laurent, being all playful and big-brothery and I would just *die* and have to stop myself proposing to him immediately. He also, I think, loved animals, a quality I also really like in a man. I do feel we know so little about him, it's tricky...but he's tied at the no 1 spot for me.

Laurent is obviously gorgeous, but in a remote way to me? I absolutely love him, but I'm not attracted to him. He's ridiculously beautiful and mind-bogglingly intelligent and sharp and very funny and has his own moral code, but in a way, some of his sharpness reminds me of the worst of myself? And the lethal side of his personality is...phew, it's a lot. His love of animals and of children is so lovely though, and the sweetness that comes out in him around Damen makes me melt. I also am, as a woman, respectful of canonically gay characters's preferences, and I don't know if thats odd or not, but some people are in a separate category in my mind (my friend's partners, gay men etc.,) where I can like them, and even adore them platonically, but I cannot see them as sexually attractive in any way. That includes characters it seems! I also think, he is just so objectified in the novels...even if I did fancy him, I might want to protect him from that constant onslaught, not join in? Regardless of all that, of course Laurent is super hot, so he's on the list.

The Good Men of the book- Nikandros and Berenger. I think that ultimately, the older I get, the more I am drawn to inner qualities of principle and goodness. Both these men are loyal and loving. Both deserve love and amazing sex.

The Hot Women of the book- Jokaste and Kashel are polar opposites and both obviously gorgeous. Jokaste scares the hell out of me, but I respect the fact that people would fall at her feet. Kashel is like that nice, pretty girl next door type at school who does a lot of sports and who lots of people are really into.

Ancel is very much NOT my type, something about the long red hair and the personality...but is he a hottie? Yes, of course. You have to respect his hustle, and I really like how he falls for Berenger, showing how he does have a heart.

Jord...He's a good man too. I see him as on the shorter, stockier side, based on descriptions of the book, and, well, a bit plain, but he's a good reminder that being exceptionally good-looking and/or a nobleman isn't everything. He exudes a personableness and has some really good qualities. I really do wish he hadn't projected all of his 'I betrayed Laurent' guilt so strongly onto Damen at the end of PG, but... it did create a lot of angst and narrative tension (I mean which is partly Jord's function!).

Who isn't attractive...yikes, that's tough. I mean there are plenty of other characters in the book, so if I haven't mentioned them, they're just not on the list. I just feel like there isn't enough for me to get my teeth into with characters like Pallas or Lazar, as cute as they are? So it's not a judgement, I just need a little more description. As for some of the older characters...yeah nope. If that's your thing, that's fine! And the villains in the book can rot in hell as far as I'm concerned.

I guess find it difficult to see Erasmus as hot. On the list, he should be just below Laurent really. This is kind of how I see his looks being, but even prettier. Like ridiculously, sweetly pretty.

I didn't include him out of very nurturing feelings I think? He's just a little sweetheart, and I want to take him under my wing and make sure he's okay. I just want him and the beautiful Kallias together!

It's why I'm also so neutral on Torveld I think? He's a good man too, but just...yeah.

And poor, damaged Aimeric...he's clearly a pretty boy. But I just think he was far too troubled. Lots of therapy needed for Aimeric in a modern AU and no-contact with Guion and to go off and live with Loyse (who I hope didn't know until it was too late what happened to Aimeric or tried to fight her husband on it but couldn't win, because patriarchy, and didn't just turn a blind eye- if she did do that, then no-contact for her too) and date Jord :(

So that's my rundown!

That was fun, thanks for the ask!

#captive prince #thanks for the ask!

[bbygirl-aemond]

Reading the first Baela pov, and wow, she gives off such a transmasc vibe! I'm not telling you to make her trans, just saying that I relate a lot, especially to how I was before I found out I'm a guy. Like, her hesitating when Rhaenys said "You are a woman so these are women's clothes", quickly saying she's her father's daughter too when called her mother's daughter (reminds me of 'if i can't be a {correct gender}, at least I can say I'm like {correct gender parent}', redirecting the conversation to her sister when told she looks like her mother, choosing to be her true self instead of what everyone expects her to be even though it's technically 'better' (queen vs lady)... Just, reading that was like my teenage self looking into the mirror. Thank you for writing such good characters!

(i've been meaning to answer this for a HOT minute so sorry bout that, but the dialogue between laena and daemon in chapter 27 reminded me of it so better late than never?)

stuff like this always makes me so happy to hear! you also have excellent taste, bc my bf (trans masc) is also quite fond of stormbreak!baela.

it's been a pretty deliberate choice to write baela as disconnected from or rejecting traditional westerosi notions of femininity and womanhood. stormbreak will mostly leave any further interpretation up to the reader as to her personal sense of gender identity. of course you can identify as a woman while experiencing all of these things, or you can identify as a man, or something entirely different.

the remaining part of this ask probably counts as stormbreak spoilers, but it won't be for anything that's a major plot point within the timespan contained in the original fic- just stuff i might write in drabbles eventually. but it's stuff related to gender and baela in particular. :)

in my mind, baela never really settles down with a man. oh, she might marry one, but i don't know that she'll end up super duper in love the way most of the other women in this fic do. she'll have a ton of very fulfilling relationships, some of them involving sex, and she'll travel the world and live her life completely unhindered by her status within society as a woman. seafarer and traveler baela ftw, y'all!

she will also never have children. i wasn't super happy with her character ending up basically pregnant and left behind at home while her husband traveled the world and also cheated on her. i don't see baela, even book baela, as someone who'd have those goals. i can see how losing almost her entire family might make her lonely, and how realizing she's one of only like 4 surviving targaryens might create pressure to reproduce regardless of her own desires. but in stormbreak, where her family survives and there are gonna be so many little targ babies running around you can't tell whose is whose? yeah she is never ever going through pregnancy are you kidding me lmao.

i've also received a few requests for some spicy drabbles involving baela (once she is MUCH older i do not write porn for any characters who are under 21 aka younger than me okay). these will probably also involve a certain degree ambiguity as to baela's internal sense of gender identity. baela will never desire or ask for penetration, and will instead prefer to penetrate others or participate in other types of sexual acts. anatomical terms will be used for body parts, but when baela is wearing a strap on it'll be referred to using the same terms i refer to male characters' sex organs with (i.e. a character wouldn't be described as sucking baela's strap, they'd be described as sucking baela's cock).

anyways the ambiguity is there for a reason and readers are free to interpret it in whichever ways make them happiest. my viewpoint on these things is kind of like mark hamill's with the character of luke skywalker: whatever you want baela to be, wherever you feel the text is leading you, that's how baela identifies. :)

#ask #asks #answered #stormbreak #fic: stormbreak #fic #baela targaryen #baela #stormbreak chapter 14

[effyrosemary]

For Achilles

5. If this character were a woman, would you honestly still like them? Or in reverse, what if they were a man?

18. Do you prefer to see this character suffer or know peace? Angst or comfort? Both?

46. How much do bad interpretations of this character upset you?

and for Tarquin

48. What’s your favorite physical/design feature for this character?

12. If you could write effortlessly and as much as you wanted, what story (s) would you write for this character?

For Achilles

If this character were a woman, would you honestly still like them? Or in reverse, what if they were a man?

Yes, I would still like him if he were a woman, but in a different way. Achilles as a man is interesting in itself to me because he has been perceived as behaving in a different kind of masculine way than most men from those times. In stories throughout history, he never felt extremely over-masculine to me, because he always seemed to have another more 'feminine' side. I can go on talking about this for some time, but I'm just pointing out that in a story/time where the essence was lying heavy on hypermasculinity, he also showed another far less masculine side and I like that. If he were a woman, that 'contrast' would not be there, so therefore it would be different, but I would still like him.

Do you prefer to see this character suffer or know peace? Angst or comfort? Both?

Know peace and comfort and guilt. So both. A way to coexist, and to accept the past. But I will never say no to reading a story where he's super angsty and suffering of course, since reading about men suffering is a guilty pleasure :)

How much do bad interpretations of this character upset you?

I do not mind when people don't like him. He has done some atrocious things, and I can very well imagine people being put off by him, that's very understandable. However, bad interpretations of his characters and his actions do upset me a little. Especially when it's someone who disregards his entire character and will not hear otherwise. Once read this tweet that said "me trying to articulate my agony when people reduce Achilles' decision to withdraw from the war simply as "he's just sulked alone in his tent haha" instead of interrogating his eternal development and questions about his relationship to war." and yeah, exactly that.

For Quinn

What’s your favorite physical/design feature for this character?

The fact he's the tallest of them. I personally don't care about height in real life at all, but I love how he's gentle, not intimidating at all, and just towering over everyone. Also, the fact he himself doesn't really care to be tall, he wouldn't mind being shorter I think. In fact, he wants to be shorter than Lestat, but he isn't :3 So that and the fact he has black wavy hair and blue eyes, love that for him.

If you could write effortlessly and as much as you wanted, what story (s) would you write for this character?

I would write about him meeting the rest of the group, him being one of them, him meeting Louis HIM MEETING ARMAND, ARMAND WOULD BE SO MEAN TO HIM I JUST know Armand will be like why are you so good-natured, what is wrong with you aaaaa I would love to write it all. Everything Anne never gave him, unfortunately. Also all a lot of Lestat x Quinn smut

#thank you for the ask dorian #i love you #achilles #tarquin blackwood #justice for tarquinn blackwood #quinn blackwood #blackwood farm #armand #the vampire armand #tvc

[free-for-all-fics]

Namor and Attuma at the beach/swimming pool AU prompts. Some of these are really stupid and silly but I regret nothing. Pls tag me if you get inspired by or write any of these, I’d love to read it. 💜

1. Thinking about that cliche “Woman lets man put sunscreen on her body for her and it’s supposed to be sexy” thing except it’s Namor or Attuma rubbing his hands all over reader’s skin while he’s applying the sun screen and they’re just spending time on the beach together. Of course reader would return the favor if Namor/Attuma asked.

2. Namor/Attuma treating reader’s sunburn/sun damaged skin because she burns easily/forgot to put sunscreen on/accidentally fell asleep outside.

3. Baywatch AU where Namor/Attuma is a sexy lifeguard and every time you look at him, the world slows down. He’s so sexy, it’s like he runs in slow motion any time he comes to the rescue of a beach goer. You debate pretending to drown just to get his attention. Yeah this is dumb and no I’ve never seen a single episode of Baywatch.

4. Thinking about Namor or Attuma being a dad and doing dad things, like teaching their kid how to ride a bike. Except the bike is a dolphin 🐬. And then teaching their kid how to drive a car when they’re a teen/adult. Except the car is a whale 🐋.

5. Every day you practice holding your breath, for just a little longer than usual every time. After being "saved" by a lifeguard you learnt that humans aren't meant to hold their breath for nearly an hour.

6. One day while swimming at the beach you drown and die. Then you wake up on land, resuscitated by a lifeguard. But now that you are back, you have a strange urge to breathe in water. Unable to hold the urge back, you try it and something happens.

7. You work as a lifeguard at the Dead Sea and wonder why your job even exists. Just as you're about to fall asleep, people start drowning, as if being pulled under by an unseen force.

8. You’re taking a bath when suddenly Namor bursts into your bathroom claiming to be a lifeguard here to protect you from the "sharks". At first you resist, “It’s two feet deep, man!” but you soon see something lurking in the bathwater. (Yeah this is an AU based on that lifeguard “I’m not at the beach this is a bathtub” porn meme. Maybe the “shark” is Attuma. Attuma and Namor as pornstars AU. Just embrace the sexy stupidity of it.🛟)

9. You're swimming off the coast of Wakanda when suddenly all the waves in the water stop. You hear whistles blow and people scream as a lifeguard yells, "Get out of the water! The serpent god is approaching!"

10. You accidentally summon an old god while playing with pool noodles.

11. After a short career as a model, you're tired of not being taken seriously. One day you quit to start a new life with your dream job- picking up trash and cleaning up the beach. You didn’t expect to encounter Namor/Attuma while on the job. He’s come to thank you for saving the hatching sea turtles, among other things.

12. You've never been invited to a beach party before and as soon as you touch the water, everyone else can see your imaginary friend, Namor/Attuma, rising from the shadows of the waves. At least, you thought he was imaginary. He’s upset you stopped coming to visit and that you haven’t called him on the conch shell.

13. You prefer to swim laps alone in the middle of the night as it helps you think and have found a way into the local pool after hours. You pause in the shadows of the shallow end and hear a splash at the other end. Three armed men in suits are watching someone struggle at the bottom of the pool.

14. Possible Fae AU: You come to and find yourself not alone in a clearing in the woods. You’re mesmerized by the blue skinned people as they sing and dance around the pool of water in the night, with their jet black hair, and beautiful dark brown eyes, laughing and playing happily as can be. Their king uses his winged ankles to fly towards you. His loving smile is entrancing as he motions for you to come over.

15. Cocoon AU: Residents of a retirement home discover their swimming pool is filled with vital energy from Talokan, giving their elderly bodies the same ability and vigor as when they were teenagers.

16. You're an immortal who lives at a beach resort. You have many summer flings with mortals on getaways. One day you see someone you had a hot romantic night with 50 years ago. He looks exactly the same.

17. On break from college, you take a summer job at the beach. Making friends is not your thing but there's one guy who's different than most. He's bookish and not at all cool. The social scene at college can be so destructive and he's not trying to one-up you. By the end you are so much more. (Maybe AU where Namor assumes a “Clark Kent” secret human identity. Maybe he goes by Tenoch in this AU idk.)

18. AU where Namor is believed to be a cryptid/myth: When you chatted with that Tenoch guy on tinder, you thought the K’kul’kan cosplay with the elf ears and ankle wing shoes in his profile pic was nerdy and a bit funny. Then you meet him on the beach, and realize it wasn't a cosplay, as the actual feathered serpent god himself stands before you, a dozen water flowers in his hands and a picnic dinner laid out.

19. Post-battle AU: Namor with a broken ankle meets reader, a beached mermaid with a wounded tail. Restricted from their usual activities, they find solace in each other's company as they tend to each other’s wounds.

20. Some beaches have groups of Sea Lions, but our little town has Talokanil hanging out on the piers, especially when the sun is out. Bit of a local nuisance, but they bring us fish and other good things to eat during winter or in times of hardship, in exchange for keeping their existence secret. We benefit from mutual protection, so we’re all good. Just don't get too close. They will try to drown anyone who makes them feel threatened.

21. You are taking a family vacation on the beach, when you see the lady next to you fill a water bottle up with seawater and later notice her drinking from it.

22. As you're walking down a secluded part of a beach, you spot something large and blue wrapped in fishing wire, peaking through a pile of rocks. Thinking it a washed up dolphin, you approach the rocks and see that it's a Talokanil and he’s/she’s scared.

23. As a child your parents often took you to the beach, until one day they suddenly stopped. When you asked about it, your parents said the sea had become dangerous for you. Years later, you head to the beach yourself. When your feet touch the water, your legs start to tingle.

24. The Bachelor sort of AU: The 5 remaining girls head to the beach house at Innsmouth. They've all got brains. They've all got beauty. Four of them will be given the great honor of keeping the sun alive and shining bright in its constant war against darkness. With their sacrifices in body and blood to the revered feathered serpent god, K'uk'ulkan, they will keep the sun moving across the sky and preserve the very lives of the Talokanil. Only one will become his chosen mate. Whomever he chooses will be given godly gifts, such as immortality and the ability to bend water to her will. She will take her place upon the throne as his eternal wife. But who among these women has that special something worthy of representing the nation of Talokan as Queen? Four will give their still-beating hearts to him. K'uk'ulkan will only give his heart to one.

25. You're resting on a sandy beach with a bucket of iced beers, when Namor/Attuma emerges from the waves. He sits down next to you, grabs a beer, cracks it open, and takes a swig. He sighs and says, "You would not believe the day I've had."

26. This year the beach was cold, wet, and miserable. The girl not too much older than you in the house next door was nice though. So when you saw her out on the beach in the middle of the night in a rainstorm wearing only a nightdress, you had to investigate.

27. Reader and Attuma, childhood friends, are sitting on the beach together. One of them is about to confess, when suddenly the ocean rumbles. Namor emerges from the waves, looks at you both and says "Aha, so THIS is where you've been!" Ugh, he’s so embarrassing! Can’t believe your father followed you here and ruined the moment. Namora swore she wouldn’t tell! Can’t a princess get some privacy around here?

28. After being teased by your high school swim team about your fear of open bodies of water, you attempt to prove them wrong by trying to swim in the nearby beach. You start to drown but are luckily saved by a cute man. "Hey, are you alright? I thought the other humans were going to help you out?"

29. "Never swim too deep into those waters," my father used to say, "never be the furthest from the shore." I never understood why until today.

30. You breach the surface and swim over to the diving boat. As you climb into the boat you notice the instructor and captain slumped over each other in a sort of lifeless embrace. You take off your mask and instantly realize you can't breathe the air of the surface world anymore.

31. You and a friend go on a camping trip to a hidden lake. Your friend goes swimming, and when they dive down, they never surface again. Instead, a strange woman you've never seen before crawls ashore. Upon seeing you, she declares: "The feathered serpent god accepted the exchange! I'm finally free!"

32. While swimming away from your friends on a camping trip, you find Namor stranded high on the sand. He’s too hot/dried out to move, and asks for your help to get back into the water.

33. Mafia/mob AU: An agent is sent to the beach to find you, the much younger wife of a mafia boss. You’re in a purple bikini on a towel some meters away, in the arms of Namor, your secret lover. You catch the agent looking at you from a distance and don’t seem to care about his presence as Namor rubs sunscreen over your skin and makes love to you in the sand. Too far away to tell who you’re with, the agent tries to shoot Namor, but the god deflects the bullet with his arm without breaking eye contact with you.

Namor kisses you before flying over and punching the agent so hard that he flies a few feet into the air and skids through the sand. Namor drags the agent back and forces him to watch your lovemaking. (Maybe he’s brutal and drives his spear through the agent’s hand to pin it to the ground. Idk. Just a “Tell your boss this is how you please a woman” power move/show of dominance type thing). The agent finally looks away in embarrassment. When he looks back again, you and Namor are both gone and all that’s left are two sets of footprints leading from your abandoned towel to the ocean.

34. Sort of Old God/Ancient Mythology AU: Reader goes to a nude beach for the first time by herself, where she meets and makes conversation with other friendly beach goers. Everything seems normal until the sun reaches its highest point in the sky, and tens (or hundreds) of blue skinned people wearing strange oxygen masks rise from the ocean. Reader thinks some sort of attack is about to take place, but is instead shocked when everyone pairs off. A sort of ritualistic orgy seems to be going on, as she watches the beach goers engage in intimate activity with the strangers from the sea. Turns out the “is your beach body ready?” advertisement she saw refers to whether you’re ready to partake in a group mating ritual that’s said to bring humans prosperity, protection, and lifespan extension. In exchange, the Talokanil hope to create a new hybrid species so that their kind may one day be able to walk freely among the land without turning blue or without the use of masks. They want to reclaim the surface world that was stolen from them.

Suddenly everyone pauses and goes silent as they make a path for a man with pointed ears and winged ankles. They kneel in respect as he makes his way towards you. You can tell by his layers of jewelry and air of authority surrounding him that this is their king, their god. He first holds your face with both hands, caressing your cheeks and hair. His hands slowly go down as he feels and squeezes your breasts and hips, as if inspecting them. Finally he rests his palm on your stomach and wraps his other hand around your neck to press his forehead to yours. He speaks in a language you don’t understand, but nevertheless it dawns on you what he wants you for.

#namor x reader #attuma x reader #namor imagine #attuma imagine #random fic ideas #fic ideas #pls tag me if you write this #some of these i got from reddit so i can’t take all the credit #don’t examine these too closely #some of these are just silly little brain nuggets #stupid silly fun