#now brb gonna go sob abt this
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I think you know enough hq characters at this point so, who do you think in haikyuu would fuck their step-sis and why is it tsukishima (also ushijima but hes more lowkey)?? - 💔
🥲 if u were to crack my silly little head open and take a look inside. this would be the only thing u see. just pure hell pure chaos nothin else. NONNIE.. do u really want me dead :(
cw stepcest, dubcon, timeskip tsukki n ushi
sob sniffle sister fucker tsukishima. i am literally going to lose my mind thinking about him. he’s so mean, shrugs all your tears and whining off whenever the sibling banter pushes a few too many buttons. it’s just how he is and you’ve grown used to it — his snarky comments and how he could spark all sorts of deepest insecurities w just a few teasing, light hearted comments. but kei nii doesn’t rly mean that, and you know it. it’s just how he is, with the kindest heart buried somewhere deep under the cocky demeanor — that’s what you think, until you come home from uni for holiday break and go out one night.
you take a few shots too many, those airhead friends of yours that kei never really liked busying themselves w some random guys, and you end up calling him to pick you up. there’s some creep at the club that just doesn’t let up, you’re a little scared, and your phone is almost dead. he’s the only person you really know that’d actually pick up at this late hour and come get you — he’s your brother after all. and yet, you regret ever calling him in the first place as soon as you get in the car, listen to him calling you even dumber than he’d thought of you, jaw slack and eyes firm yet tired behind his glasses as he drives. you hold back tears on the way home, and for the very first time in your life, you feel like kei nii might actually hate you :( and that he meant every single jab he’s gave you throughout all these years. he tugs you inside the house, unaware of your silence, and grumbles something about u being lucky that mums not home to see you this fucked up. you sit at the edge of your bed, shaky fingers struggling to undo the straps of your heels, and kei lets out an exasperated sigh as he crouches down in front of you. he slaps your hands away, works on unclasping the straps and tells you you’re hopeless. you’re just so annoying with how reckless you’re being, he’s got practice tomorrow morning and yet its 3 am and he has to deal with you — careless as always. he sets your shoes aside and is about to get up and leave when he hears the choked little sound. a tear or two falls on his hand and he looks up — breath hitching in his throat upon his step sister crying. he’s seen it so many times before, being the very cause for your tears more often than not, and yet this time, he’s confused. you wipe at your eyes, a poor attempt to hide the heartbreak, and swallow back little muffled cries. you tell him you’re sorry, that you never wanted him to hate you. you’re sorry that you’re annoying, sorry that you’re being a bother as always. kei watches in sheer astonishment as your bottom lip wobbles, still glimmering with your gloss. just don’t hate me, nii chan. he almost feels bad, for the first time in forever, as you sit there in your tiny black dress, with those pretty long falsies on, and cry your heart out — for him. its the exhaustion, he thinks, it has to be as he reaches a hand up and rests it on the back of your neck. he calls you silly, wipes a thumb below your eyes and furrows his brows a bit — he could never hate you, why’d you even think that? you really are a dumb thing. he’s just tired and not thinking straight, kei’s sure, as he leans up to press his lips to yours and taste you. your tongue is heavy with intoxication and shock, and he makes out the faint vanilla of your lip gloss and remnants of liquor as he kisses you, languid and sloppy, something to slow down the haywire in your mind. he could never hate you, he repeats, easing you down on the bed and hiking your dress over your hips — groaning when you give him the prettiest wide eyes, glossy with tears still but oh, so hopeful. kei nii is a good brother, despite his sharp tongue and teasing nature — and makes sure you never, ever doubt his love for you again :(
ushijima though,, he’s a whole another story you’re so right. i’m p sure he doesn’t even give you any remotely dirty thought — anything that would be immoral considering your relation. you’re his little step sister, and there’s nothing more to it. sure, he’s never been too close with you — always solely focused on his career — but he does appreciate you. you’re nice, sweet and caring with the way you always pick him up from the airport or fly over to some of his games. (you always cheer for him the loudest, and grin wide as you tell the couple sittin next to you that the ushiwaka is your older brother.) you always welcome him with the warmest hug, standing on your tiptoes to wrap your arms around his neck, and laugh as he squeezes you — welcome back, nii chan, i missed you lots. he’s no fool and sees how you’ve grown into a beautiful young woman, too. he’s aware of all the looks you get when you two walk down the street and how it’s hard to keep count of all the boyfriends you’ve mentioned before. for some reason, none of them lasted, though, and yet you’d always brush it off and give him a small smile when he asked if you were okay. wakatoshi doesn’t know a lot about girls in the first place, but you’re a whole another enigma. like i said, i think he wouldn’t even dare think of you in any other way than purely platonic — and so, you render his entire giant frame putty when you first crawl into his lap with that pretty little glint in your eyes. barely a minute earlier you were just scrolling down your phone, w your legs in his lap as he goes through his calendar — next thing he knows, his little step sister is grinding down on him, breath minty on his lips as you moan. large palms rest on your hips and it takes all your willpower to stand your ground, considering he wouldn’t even have to put any work into pushing you off. he fixes you a confused look, eyebrows knit together and voice low when he asks what are you doing, why are you— you cup his handsome face in your hands, a manicured thumb pressing to his lips and it shuts him up ridiculously quick n effectively. s’alright, nii chan, it’s nothin’. you need him bad, you tell him, and prove your point by the sinful roll of your hips against his hardening cock. you see he wishes he could deny you, that he could tell you that it’s wrong and fucked up and that you can’t be doing this — cause you’re siblings, blood bound or not — but his silence gives him away. always so blunt and straightforward, your nii san now sits completely quiet, and you know that the cogs in his mind must be struggling, but if he had any second thoughts abt all of this — he would’ve already told you. but he doesn’t tell you anything, doesn’t speak at all before he exhales and pulls you flush against him, lips finding yours with way too much ease. toshi nii doesn’t have to speak at all — his actions do it for him, as he has you all spread out n making the prettiest noises for hours on end that day </3
#✧.* ✉ zari’s mail: 💔 anon#nghhhh THIS HAS ME SLOWLY GOIN INSANE SHSJJSXHXJSI#kei especially </3 he’s got me all choked up i love love looooove him he’s so mean#ushi bein all ffed up in this head of his he’s so cute. i wanna bite him#but in all honestly some of the others i’d think would ABSOLUTELY dick down their stepsis are#kags.. 10000% you cant tell me otherwise#AND last but def not least the one and only oikawa tooru. NGHHHHDHDHDH#everyone always bein head over heels for him but they don’t know he only has eyes for his lil sis </3 najdhakshsksksjsj STOOOOP#he’s so deranged . this clicked in my mind sooooooo quick u get me ??? she’s always there to give him all the praise he needs#there’s no one else that matters for her. only tooru nii#always </3 and he goes completely n utterly dumb on the ego trip#thx for comin to my ted talk. if anyone wants to elaborate feel free#now brb gonna go sob abt this#haikyuu smut#hq smut#tsukishima smut#ushijima smut#haikyuu x reader#ushijima x reader#tsukishima x reader#tsukishima kei x reader#ushijima wakatoshi x reader#★ ‧ ₊ after hours
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Very short and sweet Serennedy Analysis of the Seperate Ways DLC
Obvious spoilers disclaimer but also this is NOT supposed to be a diss at any ships whatsoever!!!!!!!! I love them all!!!!!!! My current hyperfixation is just on Serennedy and I see a lot of potential for it in the DLC!!!!!!!
• Ok first and most obvious. Right at the beginning, the part everyone was screaming about in the trailer, is that Luis’ first thought is to tell Ada that there is One More Thing (tm) he has to do, and that’s to help Leon, and Ada’s IMMEDIATE reaction is to be like “….ok.” I have a feeling in this context that she KNOWS how much Leon means to Luis. She KNOWS that he’s HIS priority, and that’s why she lets him go
• Again more obvious scene, but when Luis sees that the room containing the medicine intended for Leon is on fire he RUNS THROUGH A BURNING FRICKEN BUILDING TO GO RETRIEVE IT. His immediate thought (in my mind at least) is that he doesn’t wanna see Leon die in the same was his Grandfather did metaphorically. He couldn’t save his Grandfather because he was powerless, and now he’s powerless to save the medicine that would save Leon’s life. Hell, he even says “it’s all gone!! That was my last chance to set things right!!!” When Ada questions him on why this was so important to him. It’s because he cares deeply about Leon and wants to set things right. God. I love him SO much.
• Also I’ve mentioned this before, but Luis seems a LOT more relaxed/ jokey with Ada, and if you ask me, I think that’s a sure fire sign that Leon’s been putting on an act to impress Leon. He wants Leon to think he’s cool and self assured so that he’ll like him more, and in a similar vein with Ada, he dies before Leon can see that REAL side of him. JUST when Luis opens up about Umbrella, he’s stabbed in the back. It’s so sad. Sobbing,, crying,,,,
• HOOOOOOO BOY THAT SCENE WHERE HE SAVES ADA???????? I LOVE that we see his hesitancy to run because he can’t decide wether it’s worth running off to Leon or helping Ada whose in more urgent danger and he chooses Ada because he’s a GOOD PERSON WHO CARES ABT HER,,,, BUT THEN WHEN ADA SAYS “go. Besides, you have a promise to keep” SHE K N O W S HE NEEDS TO GET BACK TO LEON. SHE KNOWS HOW MUCH HE CARES ABT HIM RUARGH. AND THAT FACE?????? OH MY GOD????????
• Holy shit his death scene…………. When he’s on the phone with Ada and he goes “oh, and take care of Leon for me will you?” HIS FIRST THOUGHT IS ALWAYS LEON. AND THEN HES LIKE “gotta go, Leon needs my help” AND HE CALLS OUT FOR HIM?????? AND YOU CAN HEAR HIM DYING ITS SO AHSNWHENEJE
• And then ofc we see the death scene from a distance where Leon rushes to his side and holds his hand, and I feel like that only solidifies their affection for one another to me. As my beloved mutual said, ‘Luis got to spend the rest of his life with Leon but Leon never got to spend the rest of his life with Luis’ I can’t. Brb I’m gonna go cry after writing this all.
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Hozier’s Unknown/Nth reminds me of mountain and Aether sm in a sweet melancholic way. Like mountain carries so much responsibility as a the drummer and one of the older ghouls. He loves his pack so dearly but the burden of responsibility can be isolating, especially because he’s so shy and tender already.
Hits harder after Aether left (Where a blinding light shone on you every night, And either side of my sleep, Where you were held frozen like an angel to me) and it’s only him and Dew from the original pack. He misses his old pack mates (And what's left of it, I listen to it tick, Every tedious beat going unknown as any angel to me) despite all the love from his new band mates.
I guess the whole song, especially the chorus and bridge just seem so sweet and melancholic and remind me of mountain and how he takes on so much in terms of both music and family. Without Aether it’s a lot. They were the caretakers and silent leaders who help the others; and helped each other more than anyone else. And now Aethers gone. And mountain has to continue. And maybe he continues respite his grief because it’s what Aether would’ve wanted, and it’s what Dew needs.
(Do you know, I could break beneath the weight, Of the goodness, love, I still carry for you. That I'd walk so far just to take, The injury of finally knowing you. It ain't the being alone. It ain't the empty home, baby. You know I'm good on my own. Sha la la, baby, You know, it's more the being unknown, And there are some people, love, who are better unknown.)
Idk i just thought abt it too much and someone needs to hear it maybe you <3
*shakily pointing to your ask* aHHH. AHHHH
anon i am afraid of you i was just lamenting this song yesterday and @askingforthesun and i were JUST talking about aether/dew/mountain and mountain being left out in general and i CANNOT HAVE ANOTHER HOZIER SONG BE ATTACHED TO GHOULS. Francesca is absolutely dewther and now you give me this? brb im gonna go sob in a corner
god i have so many feelings about thiisssss oWWW MY HEART
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hello my angel! 🍇 <33
(also unrelated and sorry if this is a bit of an ignorant question, but you’re studying fashion right? what does one… do when studying fashion? like i know you’ve posted abt organizing photoshoots, do you design the clothes for the models? do you have themes you have to work with? do you do the photography yourself or do you hire someone/is a photographer provided? do you learn abt fashion history? do you have a favourite kind of fabric? a favourite style of fashion?)
hiii hiii chellame!! (brb gonna sob because u called me angel 🥹)
that isn't an ignorant question at all! it's completely fine! I am studying fashion and it depends on what you take under that because fashion is like an umbrella term, under that there's designing, styling, marketing and PR, business, merchandising and soo much more it would take me hours to list everything
now because I'm studying communication and styling under fashion, I dont make the clothes, get them instead, like readymade clothes. I always have themes, a concept note for each shoot and I make a ton of boards related to the theme before moving forward with stuff because they help out a lot! and depending on the work (for ex, when I first started my shoots I was the one who did all the photography but now I can hire a photographer to collaborate with and work with while I can sit back on that and focus on everything else!)
we don't learn just about fashion history, we learn about everything! you can literally ask me about any political, economical and legal factors of the 1970s and 80s in both the US and India that I did for my final project in one of the subjects and I would tell it to yoh even in my sleep, because even those factors are important in the influence of cultures!
ooh I have a lot of favorite fabrics but the one I love and something that I came across during research was this fabric called Mashru that is from the Indian subcontinent, which essentially was a blend of silk and cotton and is one of the earliest forms of "mixed cloth,". In the 12th century A.D., the industry was under the influence of Muslims. While Muslim men were not allowed to wear pure silk due to a religious admonition, a silk-and-cotton blend that they made was allowed. Then during the Mughal period, Mashru was used for the costumes of courtiers and nobles and is presumed to be an Indian innovation!
and my favorite style of fashion definitely has to be rococo fashion! Because it is known for being ✨️ extra ✨️ no joke the first time I saw an illustration of rococo wigs in class I burst out laughing and had to leave class to compose myself. and if you wish to know how that looks like then here you go:-
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B A M <3 agh. where do i?? HOW? DO I START??? you are. so cool. i am just. Woah. when you first told me abt the classes youre taking and just like?? what you do?? i remember wanting to know As Much As Possible BECAUSE IT’S SMTHG THAT I WAS SO INSPIRED BY. i was like WHAT. im still so upset ill never have you as my english teacher but. I KNOW YOU’LL DO GREAT! and if you change your mind abt your career you’ll slay in whatever you change to! i just wanted to tell you that youve helped me so much? whether it be through texting me or the movie nights i was just. YOURE SWAG. END OF STORY. i hope youre doin alright bam and im giving you the biggest of hugs <3
brb sobbing omg
Bee— I just— you’re so nice and I love you and I would fight god for you wtf— INSPIRING??? brb crying again—
Though this does also remind me that I never said anything about the life crisis I had over the hell that was my second year lmaoo. I’m not planning on being an English teacher anymore (however if anyone ever needs any help I am always available <3) but I’m actually looking at going into publishing!!
Of course I wanna be a published author at some point, either through traditional or indie means, but I really wanna be part of a publishing house’s marketing or editing team because I just— BOOKS DUDE, THEY’RE SO COOL; I’ve already decided I’m gonna be one of @hella1975’s editors and she gets no say, you’re stuck with me for life now that you’re an irl 🥰
Anyway sorry for turning you’re absolutely sweet message into a rant about my career prospects lmao ~ I LOVE YOU BEE <3 <3
#ask#rambles#yeah I had a whole thing about my life when it was going downhill lol#I’ve actually recently applied for a work experience thing with penguin!!#idk if I’ll actually get it#but I’ve applied and I’m letting myself be hopeful#otherwise I’m applying for their internship next summer#cause— just— yeah#like I just want a job in the whole bookish. literature sphere#I know it’s such a hard sector to get into#like genuinely it’s so difficult#and because of tik tok and stuff I hate a lot of directions certain things go in#but STILL#I do Insta and yt for fun but they’re also pretty good for networking when they get bigger yk#but they’re genuinely just cause I have a laugh doing them lmao#I’m not consistent enough to make a job out of that and I wouldn’t want to put all my weight on something so volatile anyway 💀#anyway whatever this isn’t what that ask was about I’m gonna shut the fuck up#love you bee <3
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AAAAAAAA NEW HUSH NOW CHAPTER
#FUCK FUCK OK IM NOT READY IM NOT PREPARED FOR THIS#GRGRGRRRR SOMEONE TALK TO ME ABT HUSH NOW#BRB THO GOTTA GO READ IT FIRST#HHHHHHHHHHHH THE LAST CLIFFHANGER. MMMM#<<NO WORDS ONLY BLORBO BRAIN#pspppspspspspppss hush now wilbur i miss u so much come back to me#<< knows hes been trapped for the last 4 chapters and that breaking him out is gonna be a Whole Thing#i miss himtho....... the mention of pogtopia in the last chapter made me wanna fucking sob i miss That Era of the fic so MUCH#blahblahblah#reaction time#ANYWAY @ MY FOLLOWERS IF YOUVE READ HUSH NOW. PSPPSPPPS COME TLAK TO ME
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Ok so who's gon be the one to dicipher whateverthefuck @ The Collectoe™ was sayin during the episode (you know which one im talking abt) bc I was too busy watching em do swirlies around the room
(enjoy these low quality screenshots while i cry)
#died#hollow mind#the collector#belos wittebane#hunter wittebane#ok so can we all agree that the collector is 100% babie or am i gon have to throw some hands#the owl house#this episode broke me fr fr#like i was full on SOBBING when hunter was pulled into the mf GROUND#any sport in a storm parallel when willow pulled him into the ground? probable#bruh my brother looked at me so weirdly when i was screaming when hunter#like you wouldn't underSTAND#fucking twink lookin ass bitch#anyways#um#so hunter had a panic attack#ITS CANON NOW MY DUDES#im gonna go write something sad abt this episode brb
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okay sooo. I have been in toby x me x jeff; brainrot mode; all fuckn day.
Also yeah I've met both of them while shifting. (I am open to any questions abt it lol.) the thing is; i am super shy when i like someone; so i haven't talked to either of them one on one. I hang out with the both of them and ben like all four of us and ben just makes sure i don't do anything weird/akward cuz he knows ig. Oh and uhm apparently me and nina are like besties now?? I don't know how that happened but yeah. Not sure how jeff feels abt that-
I don't know how to pursue toby or jeff. I am to scared of being rejected.(i know some ppl may think it's silly cuz i am shiftong and I shouldn't be scared but like it feels so real) i know they think i am funny and stuff. They wouldn't hang out if they didn't think so. I also don't write scripts so it's basically a free for all.
Uhm anyways- if u want some of my brainrot I'll GLADLY tell u
-🃏
Oml.
*inhales really really dramatically*
Fuck i do the same. I get so nervous talking to people I like… and BOYS??!! Fucking. Sometimes I’ll be head over heels and never even talk to them, just sort of stand there and watch yes I know im creepy and fall in love.
You need to talk to them. Like. This is an order, from me. So you have to do it. (I mean not really but still). Bruh, you have the opportunity half of us on this acc would will kill for. I swear to god im gonna come over there and smack some sense into you. First step is one on one time. PLEASE. Idk, get them to help you do something, or accompany you to lunch or smtg.
I don’t write scripts either btw, I completely trust in my subconscious. YES tell us all the brain rot. Ill just be here sobbing while I read it cause I haven’t shifted yet. BRB i actually did start crying………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..ok im back. Haven’t stopped crying but i can concentrate on what i wanna say now.
Nope. Nope. Fuck i cant even think about it. Just the idea makes me sob. Fuck im a crybaby. Cue Melanie Martinez. Nvm this is how i cope. Ok wait i stopped.
It IS fucking real. Thats what im scared of i guess. But its the first time i actually wanna go after someone, or at least just be with him??? Fuck i just wanna see him so bad. Fuck FUCK the tears came back-
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issue #23 made me really heccin’ emo over eggman and sonic. i was prepared for it, but also ?? not prepared??? holy frick im just gonna ramble under the cut.
first of all, i’m just gonna’ idly ramble about some things i noticed.
Eggman, literally 11 issues ago:
he makes these off remarks and then changes his mind whenever it’s convenient for him smh. that or hes a freaking liar and. WELL THAT’S PRETTY TRUE HONESTLY.
i’ma be honest fam starline is a freaking mood rn. it’s ?? so dumb?? LIKE EGGMAN WHERE IS YOUR FUCKING FAILSAFE UR SOLUTION WAS “not touching the robots hurr durr” PL EASE.
In retrospect, though, this is an interesting parallel to Forces because he’d apparently learned from his mistakes. TBF, and it has been brought up elsewhere on tumblr, this is a man recovering from amnesia. He must’ve just not gotten to that part. OR HE’S JUST. DUMB AND ARROGANT. Like, yeah, sure, there’s no vaccine - lol the heroes can’t fix anything & it also means you’re valuable because you’re the one person who can. BUT COME ON EGGMAN.
my friend actually predicted this holy shit. i was rambling abt a discussion we had in the egg cult, where we were talking about the possibility of sonic infecting eggman to blackmail him into getting the cure because he’s reached the point?? hes so done with eggman’s shit??? all his friends are in danger and hes backed into a wall what else is he to do than do the one thing he doesn’t want to: use eggman’s tactics against him?
and my friend was like:
LIKE. IT IS A HUGE RISK, and Sonic went FOR IT. I’M SCREAMING TBH.
THIS CONFRONTATION WAS SO FUCKING RAW YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND. I thought I was ready for it but I really, REALLY wasn’t. I love the little details of Starline bein’ like: “oh fuck” - usually he’s pretty cocky around Sonic but uh. HE’S INFECTED NOW. And the zero remark - idk if that’s intentional on the writer’s part but ZERO TO HERO anyone?
anyway toxi broke down crying at this point. you have no idea how much i was sobbing over my blue son just. pouring out his heart to his nemesis. that’s top tier tearjerking material. also starline passive aggressively readjusting his outfit lmfao. BITCH IM FABULOUS. but man the usage of ‘ BE’ and ‘LIKE’ - Sonic knows who Eggman is; he’d never ask him to be something he’s not. but it’s also a reiteration of sonic’s want to see good in him; being LIKE tinker is a statement in that he wanted eggman to be who he was, but NOT to go back. to do good for the world. have it be his own decision, because deep deep down:
isn’t that what he really wants?
Also, although there are those sickly sweet descriptions, the usage of ellipses in this narrative really fucks me up because you can practially hear the gradual realization in eggman’s voice. his mockery starts out so !!! but it just eventually gets straight to the point, as a list. as a routine. because he was used to it. and because, some part of him misses it. notice the usage of ‘need’ and ‘use’. they needed him, and yet he used the people that appreciated him sm like puppets.
some nice guilt there, huh, doc?
ALSO I SPENT LIKE, HOURS TRYING TO FIND THIS EXACT DIALOGUE, but Eggman has a conversation in Dark Brotherhood with Sonic and makes this remark:
LIKE??? this isn’t new to his character, actually? Ignoring the ken penders thing bc smh. Going by this game he’s actually kind of okay with that set up. And he just works so well with the others too??? this isn’t even taking into account the other games he’s teamed up with them. I’m sorry but my head just goes back to this line so many times; it’s one of the ones that stick with me, along with ‘complicated guy’ from lost world. HE COULD!! legitimately do good. and he actually doesn’t find it too bad??? IM EMO MAN...
and IMAGINE making super cool things that people genuinely like... eggman has a HUGE ego, that much is very apparent; he’s super big on appreciation as comes with. and with tinker? he had that - he felt appreciated and loved. people LIKED what he made, and he didn’t have to bend over backwards to have that. his work felt included and he didn’t have to take that appreciation by force like he did with his lackeys (which half the time was fake anyway) .
first and foremost - WE SEE THAT OPEN YOUR HEART REFERENCE, IDW. also sonic’s frustration here, in comparison to the lil smile the panel before - he’s just!! “WHY CANT YOU WAKE THE FRICK UP OLD MAN”. the justification here seems a tad bit like DENIAL to me. and the justification seems... kind of odd from him? since when does EGGMAN justify anything he does? He does what he wants and when he wants, because he’s the E.G.G.M.A.N. he doesn’t care what anyone thinks... right?
it’s because - especially with the usage of better - he didn’t like where that train of thought was going. for once, he’s justifying himself - because the alternative is admitting sonic is right. that he did like that life. that he’d want to go back. throw it in a hierachy and it’s all so simple, right?
also the inclusion of open your heart lyrics here. the incident with chaos was just as catastrophic. and these lyrics in context of the previous panel, highlights how sonic and eggman both seek unity and peace but in their own ways; eggman’s is just evil. it seems a little bit of a diversion to me - to antagonise sonic and make him forget about it. what better way to do that than to relate to him? ‘own styles that we won’t change’ highlights a stubbornness in ways, too, especially with the current context of eggman denying his old life. ALSO IT IS LITERALLY TELLING EGGMAN TO OPEN HIS HEART.
and ngl this seems like idle banter to hide the fact he genuinely felt remorse for his actions for a second. because lbr he has a habit of being all talk when a plan goes wrong or suffering inside,
which starline does quite pointedly explain.
As I was saying above, Sonic has no choice in what to do now - he’s reaching his limit. OR ELSE. hes pondering doing the thing he doesnt want to do. and honestly, ‘you can’t stop me. no one can,’ is so hardhitting not just because of its looming threat, but because of how much it solidifies for sonic that he can’t take the chance anymore. if anyone is going to change eggman, it has to be himself.
also can i just cry over how much sonic trusts tails. im getting sa2 flashbacks.
also man i’d like to point out the specific use of ‘lock you away forever’. it coooould be a reference to sonic’s time imprisoned during the events of sonic forces. bitterness?
NOT SAYING I CALLED IT, BUT I CALLED IT. it still hurts though. and wow, it really is horrifying when eggman fears his own heccin’ creation, huh?
i live for sonic being passive aggressive with eggman. give me more please.
im immensely concerned the direction starline is going, honestly. but it does say a lot about eggman; how he’ll keep trying the same things expecting different results, but failing and never seeing that. because he’s EGGMAN; every plan is brilliant by default!
i love how sonic just !!! SHOT... THE MOMENT HE WAS REMINDED WHAT WAS AT STAKE. son i love you so much you’re doing great sweetie
also, man, can we talk about eggman avoiding his blatant faults, and shoving his failures onto someone else? because this little scene here - eggman ur literally the one who crashed the thing. it had absolutely nothing to do with sonic. i feel as though this is symbolism of his self-destructive nature, honestly. hes always gotta make things harder for himself. (also starline’s face is killing me)
Eggman does what he has to, but technology won’t work every time you kick it. he thinks he can get everything through force but we have several instances in idw where force did NOT work out; you’re not gonna get far, egghead.
MHM, and just who does that sound like, Eggman? honestly the mirrors between these two are seriously destroying me. although sonic is in a horrible position, so is eggman; he likes to think he’s won the war, but hes surpassed his own expectations, and that’s going to backfire on him eventually. hes stubborn to admit he has NO REIGN over this and they’re all doomed, so he’s pinning his failures / loss on Sonic.
is that the amnesia kicking ya in the shin, eggman? or sonic’s reality check? either way, the doc hates emotions. dammit man why you gotta make him emo
future eggman is going to kick past eggman in the kneecaps. it’s times like this ur reminded how much of a kid he is. eugh but that’s work i want my victory and senseless destruction now. honestly if the doc is after success, he is certainly not getting it this way and I AM FEARING FOR EVERYONE’S LIVES. he’ll probably have to work with what’s left of the resistance like the back end of most games at some point.
I’m getting a little burnt out but i can’t forget my son and how much he hurts me.
first of all that third panel terrifies me. the fact it GOT that far does me great concern. the RED EYES? that’s pushing it fam i dont like that. the expressions are also just freaking destroying me; they’ve been PERFECT this issue. and the fact sonic is at his weakest when he feels like he’s failed everyone hurts me deeply. he has SO much on his shoulders and its getting too overwhelming for him.
also man... the whole thing with eggman... just stuff me man. but it hurts all the more because it’s so glaringly clear that there is?? some good in eggman??? he just. doesn’t want to admit it. and unfortunately these aren’t good circumstances to debate on that.
ANYWAY, THAT ISSUE WAS AGONY AND IM STILL REELING AND HAVENT EVEN. TALKED ALL THAT MUCH ABOUT SONIC HERE (on account of this being eggman’s blog) but idk if i’ll write anything on that.
gonna go cry about an egg now brb
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uhhhhhh notes HURT WEEK im pains
"They call me eagle-eye fjord where i come from." "maybe raven. i dont know."
that theory about Fjord being the Hawker is suspicious rn
(Apparently theres a third i missed whoops)
sam apparently similar thoughts maybe bc Nott brings it up
Jester finally teaching kiri basic phrases, like "go fuck yourself"
Beau + Fjord taking first watch
Caleb checking out the dodecahedron
(Unrelated odd point: i have a current dislike/distrust for liam, which is bullshit bc... i love liam. and caleb and vax. but apparently smt is wrong.)
Dodecahedron is Very Old, and has been shaped/polished
Cay uses the haversack as a pillow
BEAU/FJORD
Beau: "I think I messed up. I think I should apologise."
I HURT? Oh beauregard. oh marisha.
"i wanna try, I guess"
F: I think he deserves that. He's been good to us.
i regret not writing fic now 8(
"OOH, terrible"
"YEP."
"five"
"five"
(collective "ooh")
Nott + Jes second.
they roll not great.
Tinkle tinkle
"nnhnohfishnott"
Kiri is poofed up asleep aAW
trident goin for FRUMPKIN NOOO
(pause whilst they look for range on dismissal)
Kiri wakes up
"Go fuck yourself :("
Theyre waiting for fish head
they could just reappear Frumpkin tho...
Jester is sacred flaming, Molly has a sword active + stabs, Caleb fire bolt, Nott fires an arrow, Fjord eldritch blast, Yasha stabby
Molly + Nott + Caleb miss
Fjord hits, Beau hits, Yasha hits
dunno bout jes
frumpkin poofs back but doesn't see anything else.
???? alarm lasts 8 hours, not until triggered yall it should still be up. they need to look up the spells smh
Nott messaging to tell yash to hide the bodies
LAst watch is Yash and Caleb
i need to stop shortening names
Caleb asks Yasha for people advice :')
He's writing it down... i love him
Yashas advice is basically "Fucking Bathe"
And cay confirms he keeps himself gross because people ignore him more that way 8( Baby
C: "Do you know what i miss? shaving."
Y: "I could shave you right now with my sword. I've done it before, you know, to... not have hair on my arms-"
Omg shes doing it
omg theyre doing it
omg I DONT HAVE TO DRAW FACIAL HAIR IN MY FANART ANY MORE FUCK <3333
cay forgets he has a dagger jesus fucking christ
i love everyone making comments + taliesins just amazed like, borderline heart eye emoji look at this whole scenario
M: (to Caleb) "Well done, she [yasha] likes you!"
Nott is Not Happy About Water
N: I'LL STAY WITH KIRI
everyone else: Convincing her to come
N: I'll stay with kiri, and if there's any trouble... we'll see what happens
Fjord goes first, he sees, with his 60ft darkvision, architeture of room. mistly natural, some bits not.
Fjord botches his stealth roll but matt botches his perception even worse. and my thing crashed im so mad.
Fjord is Not a good swimmer. hes like. 30ft swimming speed.
Things being left:
Caleb's books (2)
Molly's coat
travis willingham going "kiris gotta die" then dragging everyone who gasped through the dirt
beau gets fucking 37 on her stealth check
Matt: "That's some vax numbers right there!"
The visual aid is... so extra. lights. smoke. what the fuck matthew.
(note: when ur best friend is called matthew this is a phrase you say too much)
Surprise round for erryone but Molly and Yasha (purrsonally, i think they were too busy talking abt how beautiful cay is now ;3c)
everyone rolled shite for initiative tho
Caleb casting haste on molly O:
Fjord is very very adept at everything
everyone on crit role can do maths better than me 8(
the marrow fuck beau and fjord royally
watching call lightning forming + marishas face as she slowly realises :)
jes gets the first hdywtdt + crushes a fish with a lollipop
Caleb is taking blind potshots with the glove of blasting boyy. One even hits!
moll gets 3 attacks i love my beautiful devil child
N: Are you guys alive and do you need anything? you can reply to this message~
C: FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK
N: oh,, alright.
Taliesin's relief when ashley actually hits is very good.
Beau goes down! D:
hi unrelated taliesin sticking his tongue out at sam fills me with indescribable joy
NEW: Horny twink gets double penetrated by feisty wet ones.
... which is to say two fish dudes stab molly.
Jes heals Beau, but we all know fine fucking well if she hadn't, Yasha would have done it on her next turn. still might since she's only on 11
Cay using dispel magic O:
Molly gets the second hdywtdt
"I'm literally just a windmill at this point"
FJORD gets the third
F: "I see Molly loojin' around, give him a little wink-"
(murders)
M: Fucking arsehole
F: (witty comment) PEACE OUT (blinks out again)
"Sevens are scary" - Taliesin
Yash gets the next hdywtdt
Xorhasian Neck Tie
Jesus christ
I was right tho Yasha was seriously considering healing beau, it just takes her action
Two more fishfucks 8(
More call lightning
Sams flask says "lost my best friend over a bowl" and that hurtie
caleb is boutta die.
Yasha is boutta die first lmao oh no.
i love taliesin jaffe an inhuman amount.
Yash gets pulled OVER beau and marisha makes like grabby hand motions which is VERY cute
ok NOW caleb boutta die.
he Shield's, and then fragments
"Caleb will remember this"
Beau looks at Yasha, looks at Caleb, and goes to CALEB (sobs)
blasts a ki point and everything
Molly gets a nat 20 oh he's such a babe
Nott spending her turn justifying herself to Kiri
Fjord blinks back in and fucks up ANOTHER fishfuck
Yasha casting healing hands on HERSELF good.
"You dont have a printout of your character sheet????"
"Oh yeah I do after you asked me nine times"
liam wh
both yash and caleb are at ONE hp
B, spening her last ki point: HEYCALEBWESHOULDTALKLATER
Beau gets the HDYWTDT tho
Molly is Very Sick from losing haste
Caleb goes the fuck down
Fails his first save
everytime tal says "im gonna try something weird" i heart eyes emoji
shame he cant do jack fuck though
Nott Burning Bolt shoots the fishfuck
for 24 damage jeeeeez
doesnt die but drops lightning
Fjord: (appears, fails, disappears)
if Caleb permadeaths i WILL cry
PLEASE YASHA PLEASE GOD JESTER PLEASE
THEY KILL IT IM CRYING SO HARD
no like literally i am actually crying bc matt very deliberately did that so that he didnt kill Caleb
Jester uses her pearl of power to regain a slot, and use it to cast prayer of healing for SHIT rolls.
Jester goes back to Kiri <333 baby. baby bird.
Matt mercer keeps using words ive only ever seen written and im ALWAYS ???? about their pronunciation
Fjord finds some L00t
Like boxes and longswords and a pool of water with dozens of metallic objects
mostly outlawed diety symols. changebringer moonweaver. others i forgot. stormlord. everlight.
asmodeus ooh, bane strife emperor. and tiamat.
"a little black bird that's fluttering to try and get dry" fuck thats so damn cute. Marisha has the :D face
Calebs books are dry
wooden box + pool are magic. like. WITHIN.
Enchantment in the box.
Molly collecting the moonweaver pieces
JESTER FINDS TWO SYMBOLS FOR THE TRAVELLER? HOLY SHIT
Different make, pure silver one, burnished bronze another
door arch with the road
Molly gets 12-13 symbols
Nott mage hands just so good even drunk
in the box is a blade, gold, jewel encrusted
Molly shoves Nott aside to get it cause its a scimitar style
Caleb finds the arch-heart symbol?
Takes one
Yasha takes 4 symbols for the storm god.
Bane/strife emperor symbol Fjord is curious about
chained coffin
he throws it into the pool. nothing happens.
JEster goes to pll it out and gets a big catseye yellow gem, magical, but not a school of arcane magic. it has a line groove in it, very deliberate, an oval.
"something about that [orb] is very familiar"???
(Matt to Travis)
i was right about the orb being familiar
C: (abt the gold sword) This blade is called Summer's Dance
C: "Mr. Mollymauk,"
M: "Mr. Caleb."
Blade allows user to cast Blink basically, and is stronk
official-europa replied to your post: uhhhhhh notes HURT WEEK im pains “They...
i think its probably misty step and not blink
official-europa replied to your post: uhhhhhh notes HURT WEEK im pains “They...
on the sword i mean
caleb tries to ID the orb
fjord touches it
"sky is moonlit + cloudless, clothes not your own, nor body, overcoat + human skin. thick calloused skin. left hand stone. look down, see body of previous owner, dead in blood. natural landmass seawater night. flash. right hand grasps falchion. voice booms. potential. jams the stone into gut, cCONSUME. vanishes into belly. looks into water. REWARD."
"Vandrin."
i dont kn ow what the fuck is going on.???
everyone else sees this o shit
oh shit is the eye the symbol of Fjord's patron?
"he was my mentor, a captain of mine. a man named Vandrin."
Y: What happened to Vandrin?
F: I'm not sure. he captained the ship i worked on for many years, and their was an incident.
an explosion, terrible weather, waves, "i was knocked overboard"
when f woke up he was back on shore
"how did you survive"
"I'm not entirely sure."
explosion was sabotage.
the pool is saltwater.
Molly shoves Fjord's head into the water
comes up
"You okay???"
"Do it again"
"Tap three times when you're done!"
Fjord drowns
they take as much as possible up and out and decide to dynamite everything in.
dramatic exit..
They take the bodies down and lay them in the swamp to rest and decompose.
Beau tries to pull Caleb aside and he just stonewalls her until she actually apologises.
Caleb "I give beauregard a hug and say 'idont know what im doing. just. go with it."
BEau very AWKWARDLY hugs him back
Beau consulting Fjord, Caleb consulting Yasha
The entire other side of the table clapping.
Beau: UH. GOOD TALK. FRIEND.
(awkward silence)
Beau: Seriously though. Friend?
(pause)
Caleb: Uh. Ja.
(brb dying)
there is a single yellow eye on the hilt of the falchion.
episode END
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ooc: elia and ashka chat logs
[ooc comments supposed to be removed but i might have missed some. there is a Lot of logs bc we forgot to post until now]
shadowed-moonrise
oh my god what is WRONG WITH SOME PEOPLE
shadowed-moonrise
i got some horrifying anons!!! theyre so horrifying!!!!!!!
flameofcertainty
hang on let me turn off my blacklist for a moment
uh
uh
quick question: what the fuck
(not directed at you!)
shadowed-moonrise
i just
like
wow????
they sent me a followup ask like 'didnt you read what i said, my gf likes it'
shadowed-moonrise
and............... i dont....... think she does
like that does not sound like a healthy relationship and i hope they just made it up to creep on me
flameofcertainty
"hi i'm a rapist"
"wtf"
"no but she likes when i rape her"
i just
*what the fuck*
shadowed-moonrise
right
WHAT THE FUCK.
shadowed-moonrise
i was just talking earlier abt how i dont actually like that anybody can read my hyper posts but i make them on publicblog for like Awareness right?
shadowed-moonrise
and i thought i meant like abstractly, like maybe theres somebody reading them and cackling bc they dont agree w/ my politics or whatever?
but APPARENLTY
APPARENTLY
people will send me creepy asks about raping their hyper gf
flameofcertainty
some people are just really terrible?
i guess?
what are they even getting out of this?
shadowed-moonrise
i think some people just........ enjoy making other people suffer????
or maybe somehow they thought i would be like "i think this is hot or a good thing to do or whatever, thank you for your service to the hypersensitive community"
i dunno what goes on in these peoples head
shadowed-moonrise
heads
flameofcertainty
maybe tumblr just hates hypersensitives or something
it would explain a lot
shadowed-moonrise
like, okay, but what would you hate hypersensitives for
like theres somebody who hates hypos (and IS A NAT THERAPIST, AUGH) for.... not hating pollution enough, i guess
but hypersensitives are boring? we dont go outside much bc the outside is fully of scary?
flameofcertainty
maybe tumblr is just weird like that?
or maybe we're easy targets?
shadowed-moonrise
oh yeah that makes sense
flameofcertainty
most meso folks don't have a button they can press to get a reaction out of us
shadowed-moonrise
if you wanna make somebody suffer its so easy to target people with a big 'make me suffer' button
flameofcertainty
right
shadowed-moonrise
ugh im sort of regretting making it public
i could have just not mentioned it and had a really good blacklist
flameofcertainty
most of the time people aren't that bad
and then there'll be a week or two
where people send you nothing but asks about pollution
shadowed-moonrise
i blacklist some stuff but im generally okay talking about pollution if its like, abstract, so i dont do it that aggressively and then........ sometimes............. people take advantage of that
shadowed-moonrise
i wish you could like, have vulnerabilities without people just randomly deciding to fuck with you for no reason
flameofcertainty
yeah
flameofcertainty
hang on
i just scrolled down
>i’ll put my foreign object ;;;;) in your body ;;;;) ;;;;)
***what the fuck***
shadowed-moonrise
yeah.
oh GOD
i just got
another
flameofcertainty
oh no
how bad is it
shadowed-moonrise
bad enough im not sure i should tell you what it says
flameofcertainty
my brain is helpfully providing suggestions
why is it like this
are you okay
shadowed-moonrise
im.... probbly going to be in a minute
fuck
"the last "person" to hide their caste on this hellsite turned out to be red. i bet you aren't even hyper, you're just pretending so people won't suspect. i know what you really are."
thats what it says
flameofcertainty
aaaaaaaa
what the fuck
flameofcertainty
why would anyone send that to you
shadowed-moonrise
i dont know
i dont know
what did i *do*
flameofcertainty
i don't know
fuck
i guess if they think you're red that would explain why they hate you?
but seriously
what the fuck
flameofcertainty
i'm so sorry
flameofcertainty
why would anyone say that
shadowed-moonrise
anon hate doesnt usually get to me like this but
sob
why
the fuck
i dunno if they even really think that or they just want to upset me
flameofcertainty
i don''t
i don't know
fuck i'm so sorry
are you going to be okay
shadowed-moonrise
yeah. yeah.
flameofcertainty
is there anything i can do
shadowed-moonrise
i dont
think so
flameofcertainty
other than not be the sort of terrible person who would send those messages
shadowed-moonrise
thamk you for not being htat sort of person!
im so glad most people arent
flameofcertainty
it's really not hard
shadowed-moonrise
oh i can... go take some eytelia right now
it will only help in 40min but i might still need it then
shadowed-moonrise
brb
shadowed-moonrise
ok back
flameofcertainty
okay
anyways what the fuck
shadowed-moonrise
someday i will have coping mechanisms other than "get high in a way that coincidentally also helps"
flameofcertainty
i mean if it helps
then that's a lot better than nothing
shadowed-moonrise
yeah it is
shadowed-moonrise
im gonna go curl up and not look at the Fuckening Internet, i guess
flameofcertainty
seems reasonable
shadowed-moonrise
ttyl <3
flameofcertainty
ttyl :)
shadowed-moonrise
hiiiiiiiiiiii im back im not sad anymore because im so high
shadowed-moonrise
i got another horrible anon and i dont even caaaare
flameofcertainty
i'm glad you're feeling better
sorry about the terrible anon
shadowed-moonrise
also did you know art is pretty
its so pretty
flameofcertainty
yeah
shadowed-moonrise
i saw a video of a yellow playing the yellowest instrument ever and i wanted to send it to you but tumblr messages werent working on my everything
maybe i can find it again..........
shadowed-moonrise
http://theyre-a-geeky-witch.tumblr.com/post/138457594516/ here
flameofcertainty
that's actually really pretty
flameofcertainty
thanks
flameofcertainty
anyways what's up
shadowed-moonrise
i gotta work in a couple hours
by which time hopefully i will be able to handle it
idk i dont HATE it but its hard on the badbrains
flameofcertainty
i can imagine
shadowed-moonrise
like i feel ok now bc hiiiiiigh but im not very excited about leaving the house and going places
shadowed-moonrise
there will be a green party where im supposed to just pretend to be green tho!
i like those
flameofcertainty
that part sounds nice
at least
shadowed-moonrise
ive been thinking & writing a lot about how thinking-on-drugs works and greens always wanna talk about that
shadowed-moonrise
one time a client had me go to a thing pretending to just be green and it was nice and then she *told everyone she hired me* while i was in the middle of talking about my cs paper (my actual cs paper, which i actually wrote, and she implied i didnt even though i CLEARLY THOROUGHLY UNDERSTOOD IT)
flameofcertainty
???
why would she do that??
shadowed-moonrise
i wish i had just walked away but i didnt know what to do
some people....... have a humiliation kink
shadowed-moonrise
and like, okay, ill do that if you WARN ME, but you cant just spring it on me???
flameofcertainty
i am super not a sex worker but "tell people in advance" seems really obvious
shadowed-moonrise
YEAH
shadowed-moonrise
i didnt really say anything at the time bc i was so shocked but later i like messaged her and was like 'thats super fucked up'
shadowed-moonrise
she didnt really get it but she agreed to pay me extra for like, i didnt know what service i was providing beforehand & thats more costly
but she only engaged with it in like, super businessy terms
flameofcertainty
how does she not get it
this does not seem particularly hard to understand
shadowed-moonrise
i think she was like 'im paying you for both sex work and going to a party so i can just like do whatever, right?'
and there was also some like 'greys are toys'
shadowed-moonrise
fucking blues
shadowed-moonrise
i do not usually go in that much for caste solidarity because im so bad at grey + greys are not great about that but in that moment if somebody asked me i would have supported a military government
i could explain 'pay people for services and also lay out terms beforehand' but not 'greys are.... people..... dont be a fucking asshole'
flameofcertainty
i don't think i've ever actually talked to a blue
at least not to say more than "excuse me, can i get through" or "the soap is in aisle five"
huh
shadowed-moonrise
there... exist blues who are okay
there even exist blues who are okay and hire sex workers and do kinky things about castes with them
flameofcertainty
i believe you
shadowed-moonrise
like 80% of the people who hire me are entirely fine?
flameofcertainty
they can't possibly all be terrible
otoh a terrible blue can screw you over a lot more than a terrible purple
shadowed-moonrise
yeah.
im not sure what i would do if a blue client did something illegal to me because...................................... im not sure what i CAN do
flameofcertainty
probably depends on how illegal
shadowed-moonrise
yeah
and who they are
flameofcertainty
yeah
there are supposed to be reporting systems in place if they try to pay you to kill someone or something
idk if they actually do that
shadowed-moonrise
nobody has tried that and i havent heard anybody talking about that but im pretty niche and a lot of my family is green, idk
i feel like if somebody wanted to pay a grey to kill somebody theyd pick one who has ever held a gun
flameofcertainty
probably
but yeah, i'm guessing if you made an important blue mad they could screw you over pretty badly
idk
shadowed-moonrise
nodnod
ugh sorry ive been talking about my shit this whole time
it has been kind of A Day i swear i am usually better at conversation
flameofcertainty
it's totally fine!
shadowed-moonrise
how is your day anyay
flameofcertainty
it's been okay
mira and i went to check out that social-dancing place
shadowed-moonrise
oooh
what kind of dance is it?
i guess i might not know purple dances??
flameofcertainty
i don't know if the name will translate
it's mostly the kind you do in a group with other people that's really traditional
shadowed-moonrise
group dances are great
if you have... similar amounts of motor skills to the other people
flameofcertainty
yeah
flameofcertainty
i haven't done anything like it in years and i'm really bad at it but it's still fun
and i'm not bad at it in a stepping-on-feet way
which is probably good, idk
shadowed-moonrise
im pretty sure not stepping on feet is strictly better than the alternative!
flameofcertainty
yeah
shadowed-moonrise
omg babybro is home <33
flameofcertainty
baby!!!
shadowed-moonrise
he is so good!!!!!!
he taaalks and he plays with me and ive been teaching him abstract concepts bc i find it really exciting when he knows abstract concepts
flameofcertainty
tell me more about this baby
shadowed-moonrise
he can do numbers up to twelve and circles and triangles and 'many' and 'other' and i asked him what one plus one was and he said 'two ones' which means he *actually understands what it means*
he has adooorable curly hair
and a little nose
and he will boop my nose with his nose if i ask him to
and he loves my weighted blanket
flameofcertainty
baaabbyyyy
what a good baby
shadowed-moonrise
i guess at this point he might not 'technically' be a baby anymore? but hes a baaaabbbyyy
[lemme edit a picture of my irl little brother to have green hair]
https://78.media.tumblr.com/fa8d578702cf6c0ed9269902f535982a/tumblr_messaging_p7ryailotL1vio47i_1280.png
https://78.media.tumblr.com/b8ec991036777a0f24c9ed84a194d921/tumblr_messaging_p7ryanbD931vio47i_250.png
baby!!!! <333
second picture featuring Grey Grandma
flameofcertainty
baby!!!!
baaaabbbbyyyyy
he's so smol
shadowed-moonrise
so small!!!!!
and smiley!!!!
flameofcertainty
happy baby!
shadowed-moonrise
i hope he is happy foreeeeever
shadowed-moonrise
his lil nose is tan bc it gets in the sun more than the rest of his face
bc he has a little baby face!!!!!!!!!!!
flameofcertainty
little baby face on the little happy baby!!!!
he's so good
shadowed-moonrise
hes next to me playing with my blanket
i looove him
flameofcertainty
what a good baby
shadowed-moonrise
i told him i was talking a friend and he says hi
although im not sure he really gets the idea of the internet yet
he seemed kinda confused
flameofcertainty
hi baby-sibling-of-ashka
flameofcertainty
he's such a cute baby
shadowed-moonrise
his name is avidik
we keep arguing about whether to use avi or idi as a nickname
flameofcertainty
hi avidik!!
shadowed-moonrise
oh no he spilled water on the carpet
its alright its a pretty waterproof carpet
he ran at me and jumped in my arms
so!!!! good!!!!!!!
flameofcertainty
eeee
flameofcertainty
baby
flameofcertainty
good baby
shadowed-moonrise
oh also have you seen this yellow violinist https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DGhPGH2YROA
seems like your kind of thing
flameofcertainty
wow that's pretty
shadowed-moonrise
oh i could take a picture of avi with my violin
he is not green, technically
although he also does not know how to play even a little bit
flameofcertainty
do you play violin too?
shadowed-moonrise
a little
shadowed-moonrise
im not like good at it
but it is fun
rn i am mostly actually learning to sign but i dont understand how notes correspond to mouth sounds so if i need to sightread i play songs on the violin first and then once ive heard them i can sing them
flameofcertainty
violin is great
shadowed-moonrise
it is!!!
i always felt like i should learn piano bc its easy but i like violin so much
one of my other brothers writes a lot of synth music
its really good
he plays it without telling us it's his to get unbiased answers and then he tells us and were like HOLY SHIT
flameofcertainty
gosh
flameofcertainty
that's really sweet
shadowed-moonrise
ok i’m not really online but I TAUGHT AVIDI A LETTER
HE KNOWS A LETTER
i’m so proud of him
shadowed-moonrise
hi hi
flameofcertainty
hi
a letter!
what a good smol!
flameofcertainty
which letter is it?
i guess it might not be a letter orvaran has
shadowed-moonrise
it's [forcetranslate]a[/forcetranslate]
or uh
[forceliteral]a[/forceliteral]
shadowed-moonrise
idk if that worked
flameofcertainty
yeah
we have that sound but it's written differently
shadowed-moonrise
nodnod
flameofcertainty
it's the last one in my name
[preservecharacter] a [/preservecharacter]
shadowed-moonrise
oh
i wonder if its always the same sound
i think it can make a couple sounds in anitami
flameofcertainty
just one in orvaran
flameofcertainty
maybe two
i'm not sure if they're technically separate sounds
and then there's accents and things
shadowed-moonrise
idk if i should try to teach him to read in valtaz
he speaks some but tbh there is just no situation where you even need to be able to read valtaz
flameofcertainty
maybe someday he'll want to swap to yvalta
for some reason
shadowed-moonrise
.............i really doubt it?
i guess if he wants to retire in the Old Country
flameofcertainty
i hear older people sometimes swap for the weather
flameofcertainty
or something
shadowed-moonrise
there are apps to machine translate physical signs and stuff but i guess theyd be annoying to use all the time
flameofcertainty
yeah
if he knows valtaz he can learn to read it if he ever wants to
right?
i'm not really sure how this works
'how to teach your family foreign languages' wasn't really covered in purple school
shadowed-moonrise
i think i should probably teach him the alphabet but not like focus on it
yeah my parents swapped out of yvalta with some retirees who wanted to go there for the weather and were unaffected by the horrible contract system bc they were too old to have more kids anyway
flameofcertainty
i can't really think why else you'd want to live there
flameofcertainty
lineality maybe
but there are other matrilineal countries
shadowed-moonrise
arent most countries matrilineal?
flameofcertainty
yeah
shadowed-moonrise
i think historically matrilineal was easier because like..... there can be ambiguity about who the father is if you dont have good genetic testing (and a database, in some cases), but you can always tell which person a baby literally just came out of
flameofcertainty
that makes sense for why
we're matrilineal
maybe someone who lived in ceredan would swap to yvalta for lineality, ceredan does permissions anyways
except for blues i think
shadowed-moonrise
how do blues even have kids in permissions countries
shadowed-moonrise
"ashka your family is from a permissions country" its not like they talked to blues a bunch
flameofcertainty
i think they have to impress other blues
probably they don't let you give yourself a permission
because then everyone would just do that
shadowed-moonrise
.....how many kids does the most important blue get to have tho
flameofcertainty
no idea
i think it varies by country
the one with the bears and no greys makes a big deal about the monarch only getting two
shadowed-moonrise
i guess with blues its always more "how many kids is it a good idea to have so that they can give them all a good inheritance" than "how many kids can they literally afford"
aww thats kinda cute
shadowed-moonrise
if i lived in a country where the king had like six kids i would be pretty pissed
flameofcertainty
good inheritances might be less important in permissions countries
i bet the way you impress people is with politics
or maybe real estate if you're bribing people, idk
shadowed-moonrise
yeah
it’s impressive that most permissions countries basically function okay
cuz like it seems like blues having to care so much about impressing other blues would mess with things
flameofcertainty
yeah
i don't think they function as well as most places
but that could just be propaganda
shadowed-moonrise
yeahhh idk how to tell the difference between “permissions countries kind of suck” and “permissions countries are usually small, often ex-oahk, etc, which makes stuff harder on them” and “our governments just don’t like them”
i’m low key impressed that blues in auction countries don’t make too many blue credits so they’ll be cheaper, tbh
i guess they super don’t make those decisions in spring + the international community would not be too happy about it
flameofcertainty
everyone i know from a permissions country says they suck but that's like two people
and if you increase blue credits everyone who isn't blue gets mad
shadowed-moonrise
my parents say yvalta sucks and i believe them but like idk how much it’s yvalta’s *fault*
flameofcertainty
i think the big thing is if for some reason a blue hates you a permissions granting blue can screw you over way more than a credit country blue
shadowed-moonrise
yeah that’s a big deal
idk a credit country blue can probably get you sterilized if they try really hard but it would take them more trying
flameofcertainty
yeah maybe
flameofcertainty
i've never heard of that happening in a credit country but that doesn't mean it never does
shadowed-moonrise
nodnod
shadowed-moonrise
anitam is trying out a first child subsidy
which is neat i thin
think
flameofcertainty
cool
are they subsidizing the whole credit?
or just some of it
shadowed-moonrise
noooo theyre starting with like 4%
shadowed-moonrise
and increasing gradually
bc you know how changing laws goes
sooooo sloooowwwww
flameofcertainty
i guess 4% is better than nothing
shadowed-moonrise
but eventually it will be a substantial fraction of the credit i think
flameofcertainty
but probably good not to do it all at once
i know there's some countries where everyone gets one and the rest are auctioned
shadowed-moonrise
first kid free just seems so much more humane? like i understand why credits are useful and stuff but people *just not getting a kid at all ever* is awful
flameofcertainty
summary bank says alavet, av valdin, celenta, fnr, ochero, qoloc
maybe some random tiny countries that no one bothered to include
shadowed-moonrise
nodnod
flameofcertainty
on the list, i mean
and yeah, i see what you mean
i wouldn't want to live in a voan country because i like knowing that if i work really hard i could get three
but it makes me sad to think about people with zero
shadowed-moonrise
yeah
flameofcertainty
i mean probably some people should get zero, like child abusers, but an auction's not going to stop them
shadowed-moonrise
hm i bet in voan/first kid free systems there’s probably a lot of four and five year olds impulsively having kids that they’re not entirely ready for but idk like maybe that’s just something they get to do
flameofcertainty
okay i'm looking at the summary bank article about the voan system
and the age when the most people have their first kid is five
flameofcertainty
but that's not most of the people
if that makes sense
shadowed-moonrise
nodnod
flameofcertainty
i know when i was almost-four they made a big deal in school about how we should all get long-term all-spring birth control
i bet they do that in voa
i guess i don't know for sure
shadowed-moonrise
yeah
shadowed-moonrise
i saw someone on tumblr talking about how they usually get the long term birth control and they get went on vacation to the southern hemisphere and just didn’t remember that they didn’t have the birth control and got pregnant
(they were asking if you can still get aftermarket credits in the *fall*)
:(
flameofcertainty
wow
that must suck
:(
shadowed-moonrise
yeah
i hope they managed to get an aftermarket credit
flameofcertainty
yeah
i bet they're cheaper in fall
since most people aren't getting pregnant
i definitely wouldn't want to have a kid with anyone i dated when i was four but maybe some people get really lucky there
shadowed-moonrise
yeah that’s a lot of what i’m thinking about like.... most people don’t know people who are definitely good coparents for them when they’re four
shadowed-moonrise
because it just takes time to figure that out
flameofcertainty
i'd've also been a really bad parent when i was four but some of that is me-things
shadowed-moonrise
yeah that toooo
i’m four and i’m super not ready to be a parent!!
shadowed-moonrise
i feel like i know how to be a good parent in THEORY but in practice i don’t like have the energy or emotional stability
avidi was born the spring i turned four, which was really good <3
flameofcertainty
that's so good
when i was four i was living with a friend rather than my parents
but if someone had dropped a baby on me i'd have been so unprepared
and my friend was living with their parents
flameofcertainty
so there were actual responsible people in the apartment
shadowed-moonrise
nodnodnod
shadowed-moonrise
fall/winter when i was three i was spending a lot of time with friends in other cities and stuff to get awaaay but then they there suddenly like “you know what, we’re having another baby this spring” so i came back
there are some upsides to the fact that my green mom has grey babies.......
flameofcertainty
i have a little sister
i've never actually met her
maybe someday i'll be able to make myself
shadowed-moonrise
oh wow i’m so sorry
flameofcertainty
it's not your fault
shadowed-moonrise
if you want to talk about it, or be distracted from it, or whatever-
flameofcertainty
if you want the story today's a good day for me to tell it
otoh it's definitely pollution-adjacent and i don't know if it's a good day for you
shadowed-moonrise
i think i can handle it, it is a good hypersensitivity day for me
flameofcertainty
so during the voan food crisis we couldn't afford clean food past the first couple months
you'd think living on a farm would help but it had been a bad year the previous year and none of our crops were coming up that season
shadowed-moonrise
oh. oh.
flameofcertainty
and i tried to force myself to eat the polluted food but i couldn't even make myself touch it
that's not the thing yet
so i was at risk of starving to death
and my mom got one of the neighbors to give her a super sketchy probably-illegal loan
flameofcertainty
because otherwise i might literally die
shadowed-moonrise
fuck
flameofcertainty
fast forward to 3423, the neighbor comes and asks for the money back
actually he'd been doing that for a while but she'd been able to put him off
we were super not going to be able to pay it back
and the loan was sketchy enough that she wasn't really sure what would happen if she didn't
just that it would probably be worse than normal
i
i told her i thought it would be okay
when she asked
flameofcertainty
if she
flameofcertainty
people remember fall 3422 as the introduction of the orvaran system
that was just lathande
spring 3423 was when they rolled it out everywhere
even small farming towns need someone to collect garbage, and the jobs paid really well
they had to, if they wanted to find enough people
i thought i'd be okay
shadowed-moonrise
oh
fuck.
flameofcertainty
yeah
flameofcertainty
i was really really wrong
so wrong
shadowed-moonrise
......yeah wow
flameofcertainty
that's why i wound up moving in with a friend, if i'd stayed there a week longer i'd
it wouldn't have been good
shadowed-moonrise
yeah
flameofcertainty
they didn't try to stop me
which is good
would've been silly for them to go to all that work just for me to end up dead anyways
shadowed-moonrise
hey you survived
flameofcertainty
i did
shadowed-moonrise
it was super worth it for them to do it becuase you survived
flameofcertainty
yeah
i know intellectually she's clean
but trying to be in the same room as dad or my older brother is about the same as lighting myself on fire, brain-wise
and if it's her it's worth
*worse
shadowed-moonrise
yeah
can you talk to them online or does that not work either
flameofcertainty
not really
flameofcertainty
they have my email address
they tell me things like 'you have a sister now'
she tried leaving the job once she had enough money to pay the guy back
flameofcertainty
to see if it would help, you know
flameofcertainty
it. uh. didn't.
shadowed-moonrise
yeah.
i was born in 23, which. is good. because if i found out i/my parents had eaten polluted food when i was a baby
shadowed-moonrise
colorjustice says that almost all unverifiable food was actually not polluted but
shadowed-moonrise
well maybe if i payed them enough i could go through the like fucking six month cleaning process? and maybe after that it would be okay?
but im not sure it would be enough
flameofcertainty
yeah
i know what you mean
if i'd been a year younger and they'd told me it was clean i'd've believed them
if i'd been a year older i'd probably just have killed myself
flameofcertainty
one of my friends from the treatment program
uh
didn't make it
shadowed-moonrise
i had a friend in school
who was hyper, worse than me
way worse
shadowed-moonrise
he was *going to school* but just barely, he had to take a bunch of meds with a bunch of side effects to get out of the house at all
shadowed-moonrise
and he was a year older than me
flameofcertainty
oh no
shadowed-moonrise
so their class learned about the food crisis? and he left school that day like normal and he took the train home and he got in the shower with his clothes on and took all his meds at once
flameofcertainty
oh no
shadowed-moonrise
they told me he killed himself but nobody would *tell me why* because like i was hyper too and they were worried about copycat stuff
i stayed in touch with his mom, she told me later
she FOUND him
flameofcertainty
i'm so so sorry
shadowed-moonrise
that
shadowed-moonrise
i cant imagine
finding your dead child
it was pretty hard on me but she was really never the same
flameofcertainty
yeah
wow
that's
i don't really have words
:(
:( :( :(
shadowed-moonrise
yeah
shadowed-moonrise
he was an only child
flameofcertainty
:(
:( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(
shadowed-moonrise
i think they were sort of saving for another credit but they ended up spending a lot of money on like, building a room for him where he would feel clean, and stuff
and afterwards, it's not like she was going to have another kid after what happened
flameofcertainty
right
shadowed-moonrise
they wanted to take me out of class for the segment on the food crisis for, you know, obvious reasons, but that was winter when i was three and i’d already found out from like being online and reading stuff so i guessed what it was? and they freaked the fuck out when i was like “are you just worried about me finding out about the voan food crisis”
flameofcertainty
were they hoping to just ... pretend it never happened? forever?
it's not like it's easy not to learn about, if you use the internet
shadowed-moonrise
i guess i was going to Find Out When I Was Older
or something
shadowed-moonrise
i mean i understand the thinking there, like the last time was horrible and i could really just have found out later
shadowed-moonrise
the last time being my friend
flameofcertainty
yeah
i see where they were coming from
flameofcertainty
my school kept me out of class for anything pollution-related but obviously they weren't going to stop me from finding out about the food crisis
shadowed-moonrise
......yeah
i am so sorry you had to live through that
flameofcertainty
thanks
flameofcertainty
my parents thought about having me do online school while it was happening
shadowed-moonrise
it was like really really irresponsible to just tell my friend and i’m like not sure what happened there
flameofcertainty
i don't know
flameofcertainty
mesosensitives can be really bad at guessing what's going to hurt us
shadowed-moonrise
part of it is just that grey schools aren’t that well equipped for..... dealing with....... disability, i guess?
flameofcertainty
i had a classmate who thought it would help me not starve if she vividly described what it was like to eat polluted food
shadowed-moonrise
..........what
flameofcertainty
yeah
shadowed-moonrise
i mean, i guess it’s good that they tried to help
but. WHAT
flameofcertainty
our teacher moved the seating chart so i wouldn't have to sit next to her
and gave me permission to not go to the cafeteria during lunch
but yeah, i am really not sure how she came to that conclusion
shadowed-moonrise
yeah wow
flameofcertainty
i guess if she thought i was going to starve to death unless she did something
shadowed-moonrise
sometimes i wish i could just live in a hyper colony
shadowed-moonrise
even though like i’m sort of a weird hyper? they might have called it sensitivity disorder nos if i didn’t take so many decontam showers for no reason
but it would still be BETTER
flameofcertainty
there would be a lot of nice things about that
on the other hand sometimes i hear about a hyper person thinking something is polluted and my brain decides 'oh, they must be right'
even though it was fine before
and i bet that would happen a lot more
shadowed-moonrise
oh no
shadowed-moonrise
if we all thought that the UNION of the things we thought were polluted were polluted.......
we would die very quickly, i guess
flameofcertainty
yeah
shadowed-moonrise
“oh this one guy (MADE UP) said water is polluted so uh goodbye cruel world i guess”
flameofcertainty
and even without that we'd need robots or something
to take care of garbage
shadowed-moonrise
yeah
i think robots are more of a political problem than a technological one, maybe we could get away with “look we’re a hyper colony we can’t even TALK TO THE OUTSIDE WORLD most days much less murder anybody”
flameofcertainty
i think it's like
flameofcertainty
if people spent a decade developing them then they'd have them
but they aren't mostly, because of the politics
shadowed-moonrise
right that makes sense
flameofcertainty
i'm fine with mesosensitives most days, but then *sometimes* it's like they decided to figure out how to be maximally terrible
shadowed-moonrise
honestly so many jobs should be automated not bc pollution but just bc they could be and those people could then do a more skilled job or live in the country and make art or whatever but we can’t build robots at all bc of the political thing
like assembly lines could go a lot more automated than they are and then we’d just be richer and fewer as a society
shadowed-moonrise
i feel very Solidarity with hypos but sometimes..... they too........ are the worst
maybe we could get nice hypos for our colony to take care of us
flameofcertainty
maybe
flameofcertainty
there are totally nice hypos but there are also hypos who do things like put untagged photos of pollution on the internet
shadowed-moonrise
yeah it really varies a lot
shadowed-moonrise
sometimes talking to hypos is calming bc mesos are like “but MY pollution instinct says this isn’t polluted” and that doesn’t help me at all but i have an amateur theologian hypo friend who can just talk me through the theological position and that helps a lot more
flameofcertainty
it's good that you have that
flameofcertainty
and we're not perfect either
there are hypersensitives who think orvaran system workers need to all be executed
or that if you don't do [insert absurdly specific thing here] you're not really hyper
flameofcertainty
like i can't handle being around mom but i don't want people to murder her
shadowed-moonrise
yeah
i definitely like
think that there’s an objective position on pollution
shadowed-moonrise
and it’s probably not exactly the theological one but it’s closer to that than to my paranoia
shadowed-moonrise
and honestly like... i *get* it but it just takes an insane amount of arrogance to be like, “of all the billions and billions of people with pollution instincts, mine is the objective truth and everybody else, including an entire scientific field, is wrong”
flameofcertainty
mm
flameofcertainty
oh i also saw this one person saying everyone alive during the food crisis needed to be executed
that one was "fun"
shadowed-moonrise
oh my fucking
fuck that person so much
also how are they planning to run society after they’ve killed everyone over four???????
flameofcertainty
i don't know???
shadowed-moonrise
also i feel a lot of people with proposals involving doing lots of murder........... fail to account for the fact that corpses are polluted
flameofcertainty
yeah
flameofcertainty
anyways
how's life been
shadowed-moonrise
a WONDERFUL PRETTY NICE blue hired me and i might maybe have a crush
flameofcertainty
eeeee congratulations!
shadowed-moonrise
i don’t know how to approach this tho
“hey baby...... i would have sex with you for free (on a good day)”
flameofcertainty
uh
if they've hired you a couple times you could ask? or something?
flameofcertainty
i am kind of bad at relationship advice
shadowed-moonrise
yes i think that i will actually do is like
wait a while and see if he contacts me
and then maybe ask him out or something
flameofcertainty
good luck!!
shadowed-moonrise
how’ve you been
shadowed-moonrise
also, i saw you post an out of stock green and purple scarf and i could try to make you something like it
i can’t do literally that but i’m thinking like getting some white silk and waxing designs on it and then dyeing it one color and then drawing on the designs in the other
this might be totally the wrong way to go about it but it sounds fun
flameofcertainty
gosh, that's really nice of you
flameofcertainty
if you ended up doing this i'd have a couple of sensitivity-related materials requests but i don't think any of them would actually make the project impossible
shadowed-moonrise
i think that kind of project would be fun rn, what are your materials requests?
flameofcertainty
the main one is not from [link to list of countries that have done cleaning and integrated ex-reds]
or eles decontaminatable
*else
but i think that might mess up the dyes?
shadowed-moonrise
ok i can do that
yeah i think it’s probably easier to just buy from not those countries than to try to... decontaminate..... dyes
shadowed-moonrise
like most commercial clothes are decontaminatable and........ have colors but they know what they’re doing and i do not
flameofcertainty
yeah
uh
now i want to do something nice for you, help
shadowed-moonrise
umm i really like [space shoenberg], you could record yourself playing one of his pieces? although idk how much you can do that on just violin
flameofcertainty
i'll try my best
maybe i can find an arrangement or something
shadowed-moonrise
that’s so nice of you
you don’t have to, i’ll like, enjoy the project anyway
i’m not sure how to make green and purple work well as a color combo, do you mind if there’s other colors?
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12x22 recap
The good, the bad & the ugly. A lot of ranting & a lot of Dean feels & Ackles praise. No sugar to be found in my coating.
Ahoy lazy writing! That spell stuff. Smh. Ok Dean ilu but “Let's Shawshank this bitch” really? Ya do remember how that took years to do. This idea was ridiculous. Why are the writers hell-bent on making the brothers look incompetent this season?
“How did this happen?” ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME RN SAM I HAVE AN IDEA.
“Blaze of glory...sonuvabitch.” Now THAT is my Dean. A crazy as shit idea, but one that actually has a chance of working.
DEAN FINALLY GETS TO USE THE LAUNCHER HE IS SO HAPPY I LOVE IT.
On the other hand; “big, beautiful & dumb” fuck you, writers.
“yippee ki yay mother...” BOOM. This is why Jensen was excited abt 12x22. Nothing will convince me otherwise.
“Aww, ya wanna play mother to my son? He's all yours.” Ik I've said this half the season now, but DIE MARY.
Sam's speech: Y'all weren't dumb enough to fall for the BMOL bullshit like me & my mom but now they're trying to kill us all so let's team up & take them down. WHO IS WITH ME!1!11
Dean: “I'm not going.” In an extremely long list of shitting on Dean S12 has done THIS FUCKING TOOK THE CAKE. Oh yeah, go ahead Sam, go to your possible death, I'm gonna sit back here & deal with mom..smth that could totally be dealt with AFTER THE MAJOR SHOWDOWN YOU'RE GOING TO, but for Reasons I am, for the 1st time in 12 seasons, going to just chill on the bench voluntarily. It's not like I've spent the entire series protecting you at all costs...nah, I'll send ya off on your own, you got this. Yeah, sound totally in character, the Dean we all know. Great job bo bo. At least now that nickname makes sense bc this writing is nothing short of a joke. Oh but by all means, throw in an old line to garner nostalgia & a bro hug to distract us from this horse shit. All better now.
Dean & Mary scenes. All.The.Feels. At first Dean is trying to get her attention, thinking she's trapped...but then everything shifts when he realizes she wants to be in there. “I hate you.” AHHHH I screamed at my TV, seriously. That was sooooo huge for Dean, so hard & so needed to be said. Then it just gets so much more painful from there…
Tbh I'm too bitter that Dean was benched to give any fucks abt any of this BMOL shootout so moving along…
Back to Dean...ok this dialogue was a lot of shit. But I'll focus on Jensen's phenomenal performance before I complain abt that…
Dean calling Mary on her shit *standing ovation* Tell that bitch, Dean! “I had to be a father and I had to be a mother. To keep him safe. And that wasn't fair.” I HAVE WAITED 12 SEASON FOR THIS!
But here's where things go to shit…
“I couldn’t do it.” Seriously? You’re gonna put the shit that happened on him. Okay, sounds fake, but ok. I guess it’s fitting with the shit hole speech ya had him say next.
Sam this...Sam that...Sam Sam SAM. DEAN IF I'M NOT MISTAKEN YOU WENT TO HELL & YOU WERE TORTURED THERE YOUR LIFE WASN'T FREAKING PUPPIES & RAINBOWS EITHER. Would it have been that fucking difficult to put WE went to Hell, WE were tortured??? SOME acknowledgment that Mary ruined his life too??? It's Dean, so yes the focus is always going to be on someone else's hardships more than his own but leaving every other word the same & just switching WE in those 2 parts would have made all the difference in the world. But no. Dean doesn't matter. He isn't of import to these writers.
Back to Jensen's performance…
“I hate you. I hate you...and I love you. Cause I can't..I can't help it cause you're my mom. And I understand bc I have made deals to save the ones I love. More than once. I forgive you. I forgive you..for all of it..everything.”
The way his voice breaks on the 2nd I hate you /gross sobbing!!! This was so utterly heartbreaking on a number of levels. Dean, the guy who has put his family before everything else, who's mom was the one pure relationship he had-his go to happy place...and he's admitting out loud that he hates her. That was huge...& monumentally difficult. And his follow up “I love you bc I can't help it, ur my mom” that's part of why it was so hard on him. It's beaten into us by society to love our parents but society never factors in that some parents DON'T deserve our love. Kids don't wanna tell their parents they hate them, no matter how much the parent earned it. We're bombarded from an early age to love our parents & if not, if a child dares to question that love then THEY are seen as the ones in the wrong. In general, society doesn't account for horrible parents & kids who have them end up feeling shame &/or guilt over not loving them but they don't have to. You don't have to love a shitty parent any more than you have to love any other person who mistreats you.
The forgiving part. I've seen a lot of Dean fans unhappy he forgave her when she clearly didn't earn it but I have to disagree. The forgiveness had nothing to do with Mary & everything to do with Dean. Look how relieved he is when he says it. Dean had been carrying that bottled up hatred towards Mary his whole life & it got so much worse after her return. That's not good for anyone. Him saying “I forgive you” wasn't letting her off the hook or making everything she'd done ok, it was taking the weight off HIS shoulders of hating a parent. Having hate for someone you also love. That shit fucks with your head. Openly forgiving her was beneficial to HIM. If it made Mary feel better idgaf, the point is that Dean needed to do it for his own sake & that's why I liked it. That's why I won't add it to the list of “Dean apologizing to everyone” bc in this case it was in his best interest & that's what matters. As for Jensen, what can I say that won't sound like a broken record lol. He continues to amaze. He brought you right into that scene & you felt everything right along with Dean.
The Dean & Ketch fight. I waited so damn long for Dean to be able to his this asshole! But of course Mary kills him bc S12 Dean is a pacifist. WTF was that shit, seriously? Ketch is supposed to be a match to Dean but a little bullet to the shoulder & he's on his knees whining?? This is the killing machine the season built up as the big scary bad?? Lemme go vomit, brb. And what was with the “I knew you were a killer, you both are.” crap? Did he get some satisfaction in the last few seconds of his life to say I told you so? Lame ass end to a lame as plot.
Back to w/e the hell Sam was doing…
The umbridge bitch wasn't happy. Sam why the hell haven't you shot her yet? You dumb shit. He just stands there listening to her bullshit. SERIOUSLY SAM WHY IS SHE STILL ALIVE? Oh take out the scary computer, that helped a lot. At least Jody was around this time or Sam probly would've joined her team again.
Mary: blah blah a lot of excuses & justifying blah blah blah...BUT STILL NO GOD DAMN APOLOGY. I know “I'm sorry” is just words & actions speak louder but it's a damn start.
Oh but by all means, throw in another hug to distract the fans. Group hug=all is well with them. Sure, Jan.
Overall this ep was mediocre...which is an improvement on most of the season, but other than Dean finally getting to use the grenade launcher & Jensen killing us with the Mary flashbacks, it was poorly written & rushed.
#supernatural#season 12#12x22#dean winchester#rant#snarky#writer wank#anti mary#writer fail#season SUCK#JENSEN IS A GOD DAMN GIFT TO THIS SHOW
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