#now this isn’t to say you’re bad for liking Anakin bc this happened in a legends comic that not everyone has read and it very much does not | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

writingonsaturn · 3 years

Text

Better Unsaid

a/n okay this has been all over the place!! it was originally going to be a blurb and darker and closer to smutty (so keep your eyes out for that??? lol), but then I made it softer and the concept got away from me and it got soooo much longer than expected lmao and i still dont love where it ended so maybe part 2?? i have the idea i just dont know lol

summary: Reader is a princess and Anakin has been her guard during the most public season for the past two years (not the most logical thing but just go with it lol, it gets explained better in the fic) and after a near death experience the two are conveniently forced into a....

ONE BED TROPE ONE BED TROPE *cough cough* ONE BED TROPE WITH ONE PERSON HAVING TO WAKE UP THE OTHER BC THEYRE HAVING A NIGHTMARE,, :)))))))

His smugness is the only thing about him I can consider ‘ugly’. And because I am so desperate to not have feeling for Anakin, the Jedi who has been assigned to protect me through coronation season (which lasts for most of winter), for the last two coronation seasons, I hold onto my distaste for that side of him. Which is why I suppress my laugh as he waits for my reaction with that confident smile.

“Come on, that was funny.”

Rolling my eyes, I let myself sit on my bed. I can’t tell if he’s actually funny or if my evening has been so boring that his sense of humor has started to become appealing to me due to comparison. In short, the suitor I was forced to spend an entire evening with lacked personality so much I’m starting to find Anakin funny.

“You’re much more entertaining than this evening’s suitor.”

Anakin’s expression shifts slightly, his assured grin dropping slightly. “Another miss?”

“You have no idea.” I relax slightly, taking a moment to be glad that I completed my father’s request and now I can just enjoy the time I have with Anakin. “I know my father’s desperate to make sure my marriage is useful for our people and that he worries about this selection process because he always thought my mother would be here to help, but sometimes I wish he wouldn’t rush it so much. It feels like all he wants me for is to marry me off in exchange of finance or weaponry or something diplomatic.”

“You’re more than that.” His response is so soft I think I might have missed it if I needed it less. I curse myself for feeling so validated by him. His words shouldn’t mean anything to me. After all, he could easily just be saying that because agreeing with my father will just make me more unpleasant to be around.

I smile politely while avoiding his eyes. I keep my hands on either side of me, fighting the urge to fidget. “Thank you, Anakin.” My words sound weak in my own ears, so I’m sure he notices my shift in mood. “I’m tired today, I think I’m going to go to bed early.” Normally, I’d be able to shrug off these kinds of things, but the beginning of Coronation Season makes me irritable. The anniversary of my mother’s death hits me harder each year.

“Y/n.” My name comes out so velvety I can’t find it in myself to interrupt him. “You are more than someone meant to be used as some kind of royal currency, and I mean that as more than just a...friend.”

I let his last word linger. We’ve tried so many titles that never seem to fit right. He’s the chosen one, one of the most powerful Jedi to exist, and the Jedi assigned to protect me each Coronation Season because that’s when my mother was assassinated. He’s my guard, but we’ve spent too many nights laughing together and talking about everything and anything. And I guess now he’s my friend, even though sometimes when he looks at me in a certain way or sits too close to me or reaches for my hand to guide me somewhere I can’t breathe right.

“Anakin, you know I love when you’re here, even though sometimes you drive me insane. And I appreciate your kindness, but your words can’t change the truth. That’s how my father sees me and he’s not exactly wrong. I’m not a son, I haven’t been raised to lead an army or lead much, and--”

“I’ve seen you in meeting after meeting, convention after convention. I’ve witnessed the way you handle real problems and I know how you care about your people. You’d make a great leader, you don’t need a husband to be valuable.”

My chest swells, feelings I never let myself think about mixing with thoughts of Anakin that I’ve spent so long trying to avoid. “That settles it, you’re my favorite person.”

He grins, the look warm enough to melt the odd lump in my throat. I fight down a smile as he steps forward. “And I wasn’t before?”

“I take it back--your head’s big enough without the additional praise.”

Rolling my eyes, I lean back slightly in order to recreate the distance he so easily destroyed. “And I thought you had finally warmed up to me, princess.”

The use of my title makes me skeptical. The last time Anakin used it was when he was trying to ease me so that I’d walk around the palace garden so he had an excuse to do the same. It was beyond late and I was half asleep, but he had os much energy he was desperate and just needed to do one more thing. I felt bad that his schedule revolved so heavily around mine (and when he softens his eyes and says please, I’m left incapable of saying the word ‘no’) so I agreed.

“What do you want?”

Anakin dramatically clutches a hand over his heart. He throws his head back slightly as if he’s just taken a fatal blow. “When did you turn so cynical? I’ve been back for three days and I’m starting to believe you’re a different person now.”

Yeah...he’s definitely getting ready to ask for something that’s more trouble than it’s worth. Then again, everything with him seems to be worth it in some capacity. Even if it’s just that one smile he gets when he’s truly content and doesn’t think anyone’s looking.

“Mhm,” I mumble, still fighting a grin, “so you’re not going to ask me anything?”

His lips part slightly as he exhales. I watch the way his eyes narrow at my victorious expression. “I don’t have anything to ask of you, but I do have a small request. A request so small you won’t have to do anything but say yes.”

Suspicious. Too easy. “You’re unbelievable.”

“You just said I was your favorite person. Remember that.”

I’m too tired for his coyness. I’d rather him make his ridiculous request now so that I can be in bed within the hour. Though I can’t pretend I don’t normally feel better after letting him drag me along on whatever ‘adventure’ he just needed to complete while also not letting me out of his sight. I used to tell him that I wouldn’t tell anyone if I wasn’t under supervision for an hour or two a day, but he dismissed the idea immediately. That’s been the cornerstone of everything.

“What is it?”

He sighs once, tilting his head slightly. The way his eyes soften tells me he’s already won at least half the battle. “They still haven’t caught the attempted--” Anakin pauses, something behind his eyes darkening. I know what he’s remembering. Last night, an assassin had gotten closer than they ever had. I had almost been shot in the garden, Anakin had barely pushed me to the ground in time. A fact he’s been beating himself up for since, especially considering that no one has been able to find my attempted killer yet. “They were so close to you. They were within palace limits and they disappeared like they never existed. Who’s to say they don’t work here and are waiting for the next moment you’re exposed? Who’s to say they aren’t here tonight, waiting for me to retire for the night?”

I didn’t realize how my near death experience had been so personal to him. He, like everyone else, was beyond frantic after it happened. But my father put an end to verbal worry before it could truly begin. He said the best thing we could do was act like everything was fine as the assailant was searched for. Anakin hadn’t been particularly cheery after my father instructed the guards to focus their search on known enemies instead of prioritizing venting the staff closest to me. I comforted him as best as I could, but he didn’t feel like speaking about it and I had to worry about the suitor meeting my father wouldn’t let me cancel.

“Anakin, you’re right next door to me.” I have to fight the urge to reach for him. “I was fine because of you, and I will be fine because of you.”

He sighs once, his expression not easing. “And if the person is silent? The attacker could easily work in the palace, but no one wanted to direct the search inwards.” His words are more strained than I’ve ever heard them be. “I think it’d be smart for me to stay in here. I know you’ve refused having a guard stay in your room or outside your door, but...” Anakin sighs. “Your safety would be more assured.”

Him staying in my room? The only line I’ve ever been allowed to draw, and I’m actually considering letting that go. If he seemed even slightly less sad, I wouldn’t even consider it. It’s not a good idea. I’m already too attached to him. “Anakin--”

“I’d feel more assured.”

Damn him. Stupid, extremely sweet Anakin who makes saying no to him impossible. I stretch my arm forward, letting my hand squeezes his forearm gently. “There’s no reason to not feel assured.” He doesn’t ease, the cloudiness behind his eyes remains stubborn. “You’re still worried.” No reaction, the haze that’s taken him isn’t letting go. “Fine--but tell no one or my father is going to take to posting guards at my door every night.”

...I guess there are worse ways to spend a night. Which is kind of a problem since I’m trying to...enjoy Anakin less. Ugh, I even sound dumb in my head. “I promise, princess.”

Ugh, he’s adorable. “You’re intolerable.” I stand from he foot of my bed and pull back the covers on my bed. He doesn’t reply, something dark still playing for him. I watch him move to face the door. Wait--is he doing what I think he’s doing? “No, you’re not going to stand there all night. You need sleep.” He has the audacity to give me an annoyed look. “I already didn’t want to do this so now you have to listen to my conditions.”

He raises an eyebrow, his lips pressing together oddly. He’s trying to gauge something from my expression, perhaps he’s looking for buttons to press to get his way. I guess I look as stubborn as I feel because instead of arguing he just sits on the floor. What? I watch him cautiously, trying to figure out if this is some weird argument trick.

“What are you doing?”

“What you asked.”

And just like that I’ve put myself in a position that I will no doubt regret terribly the second common sense returns to me. There’s no way to deny that Anakin and I are closer than we probably should be. We’ve felt like friends first since the day we first met. I can’t think of any reason to not offer to let him sleep in my bed except those stupid budding feelings I refuse to label.

It’s not like I actually like him. I can’t--I’m going to be married to some nobleman and he’s prohibited from ever forming attachments. I’m not even sure if we’re allowed to be friends. Having actual feelings for him would be so, so pointless. It would just lead to heartache and the ruining of the one genuine relationship I have. I’m just a tiny bit confused right now because he’s objectively really attractive and he’s always there for me. Always there to make a joke after a particularly rough meeting. Always there to offer me a supportive smile. Always there to humble me when I teeter on acting like my father.

Anyone’s heart would flutter at that, so it doesn’t mean anything. And if it does, I need to squash any budding feelings now before I mess things up. Which is why I should keep him at arm’s length until I get it together. But is that fair to him? And what if doing that is making things worse? What if it’s just reinforcing the idea of having feelings?

This is ridiculous. I’m going to get over this if it kills me. It’s just a bed and it’s only sleeping. I’m meant to be able to lead an entire union and I can’t sleep next to someone and act normal?” “You don’t have to sleep on the floor.”

The second the words leave my mouth I regret it all. What’s wrong with me? Did I seriously think I’d be okay?

I hear his soft exhale, “I’ll be fine. I’ve slept in worse places than on your marble floor.”

His voice sounds so weighted I can’t help but feel bad for not noticing that he’s still bothered. Whether he’s upset about his near miss or the fact that my father didn’t take his advice, I don’t know. But something’s wrong. The easy thing to do would be to just let him sleep it off. The smart thing to do would be to leave him alone until tomorrow.

I think of all the times that I’ve been upset and Anakin had refused to let me go to sleep angry or sad or overwhelmed. “I know, but it’s really not a big deal. It’s not like we don’t know each other. I mean, last Coronation Season you buttoned me into more gowns than my handmaid. And I owe you for saving me from one of the worst suitors I’ve ever had.”

“I’m starting to think we need to develop some kind of signal.”

The tiny bit of lightness that’s returned to his voice makes all of my internal struggle feel worth it. “You always seem to know.”

“That’s because when you’re reaching your limit, that one line appears between your eyebrows.”

I didn’t realize I had such a tell. I try to remember the way that the suitor drawled on and on about how amazing he was and how he couldn’t wait for the day he had a bride to bear his children and plan (tedious) social events. My hand moves to my forehead, trying to feel the crease Anakin mentioned. Can everyone tell when I’m growing tired? Am I that transparent?

Anakin’s slight laugh steals my attention. He’s facing me again, his elbow holding his head up on the foot of my bed. “What are you doing?”

“I don’t--I don’t think i get a crease between my eyebrows when I’m irritated.”

I hear him stand. I don’t realize he’s approaching me until he’s so close I could touch him without even needing. to stretch. “No, when you’re irritated you raise your eyebrows slightly, because that’s when you’re at your most sarcastic.”

“Really?”

The corner of his mouth tugs upwards. “Just like that.” I force myself to keep my expression blank. “When you’re reaching your limit, your eyebrows crease here.” His finger taps the space between my brows so gently I almost don’t realize what he’s doing. “And when you’re trying not to laugh--which is often, because you refuse to admit that I’m funny--you press your lips together in a way that forms a dimple here.” The knuckle of his pointer finger brushes against the bottom of my cheek.

I bite my tongue to fight the warmth spreading across my face. “I didn’t realize i was so transparent.”

“I can’t always tell what you’re thinking.”

“I’ll take it.” Maybe if I was less tired, I’d argue a little more. “You know you’re not that difficult to read either.”

“Really?”

“Yes, I can tell when you’re just being stubborn for the sake of it. I can see it in your eyes and you’re doing it right now.”

His expression harshens slightly before softening. “Y/n--”

“I’m not wrong.”

He sighs once, stepping back. I watch him pace around my bed before taking a seat on the edge of my other side of the bed. “Are you happy now?”

“Happy that I won? Absolutely.”

Anakin halfheartedly glares at me. “Careful, add a crown and a robe that trails down a throne and I’d feel like I was speaking to your father.”

“Careful, another side comment like that and I’ll ‘accidentally’ kick you off the bed in the middle of the night.”

“Not if I kick you off the bed first.”

I trace a thoughtless pattern on the fabric of my bedsheets. “What are you? Twelve?”

“I’m older than you.”

“Barely.” I continue the thoughtless pattern tracing as I fight the sleep from my eyes. “Your comebacks are usually more creative than that.”

He exhales, relaxing slightly as he rests his back against a pillow. “I’m tired, like you claimed to be.” His eyes flutter slightly, a bit of his exhaustion showing. “Go to sleep.”

I should. I’m too old to think I can put off a tomorrow I don’t want by just staying up. This is stupid. I’m too old to think I can put off the anniversary of my mother’s death by going to bed. She had been taken from us on castle grounds, killed by a revolutionist who viewed my mother as a class traitor. I still remember the way she slumped to the ground, her blood staining the snow beneath her. I remember the way the guards were so busy chasing her killer no one thought to keep me away from the body.

“Y/n?”

I scratch the back of my arm in hopes of banishing my thoughts. “Yes?”

“You’re being quiet.”

“You said to go to sleep, that tends to be a quiet thing.”

I can feel his eyes on me. “Since when do you listen to me?” Not trusting myself to actually reply, I only offer him a hum of acknowledgement. “I know you’re not half asleep.”

Folding my hands on my lap, I avoid his gaze. “It’s tomorrow.”

I don’t know why I trust him to understand my vague response, but I do. His silence stretches over us like a thin blanket on a cold night. Maybe he doesn’t understand what I’m implying. I can always correct him tomorrow, when my eyelids are no longer as heavy as my heart. The more seconds that pass in total silence, the more I think that maybe he’s fallen asleep.

I wouldn’t be surprised, Anakin has seemed tired recently, like some additional weight he won’t share with anyone has been thrust onto his shoulders. A small part of me rolls in guilt. I need to be a better friend, just because I’m suddenly a little too aware of him doesn’t mean I can shrug him off and ignore him.

My hand almost flinches away from the feeling of something surprisingly warm touching my pinky. When I realize that it’s just Anakin and that the contact was probably accidental, I force myself to ease. It’s not like we’ve never touched before, I don’t understand why I’m making it weird. Sitting in my bed in the dark doesn’t change anything. His hand turns slightly, pressing into mine a little more assuredly. Biting my tongue, I turn my hand slightly, exposing my palm. And just like that, our fingers intertwine.

“She would have been proud of you.” His voice comes out so low I barely register the words.

The words shouldn’t mean much to me--he never knew my mother and has no way to know what she wanted me to be.--and yet I find comfort in them. I smile, turning my head towards him. “You didn’t even know her.”

He rolls his eyes slightly, relaxing further before squeezing my hand once. “Who wouldn’t be proud of you? You’re kind and smart and decent to be around when you’re not telling me what to do.”

My heart swells in my chest so much I’m surprised it doesn’t burst. Could he be cuter? “Yeah...now I’m sure you’re my favorite person.”

“Now you’re sure?”

The smugness in his voice has me rolling my eyes. “Don’t make me regret saying that.”

“Maybe in the morning,” he says easily, “now go to sleep. There’s nothing worse than escorting you from meeting to meeting while you’re tired.”

“I’m not that bad.” Even in this darkness, I can make out the way he raises an eyebrow. “Shut up--I’m going to sleep, but not because of you.”

He lets out a slight huff. “You’re impossible.”

The desire to respond to his comment is not enough for me to win the fight against the weight of my eyelids. The moment my eyes shut, I feel powerless to anything that isn’t sleep. I let myself fall into a weightless sleep, my only tether being the Anakin’s fingers around mine.

A distant noise yanks me from my sleep. I’m too drowsy to do anything but register the sound. I hear another similar...whine? cry? I can’t tell and I’m too asleep to figure it out. I almost fall asleep again, but a third distressed sound keeps me from it. I wipe my eyes lazily with the back of my hand as I try to sit up.

Squinting, I make out a figure on my bed. It takes me a moment to remember Anakin and how I fell asleep. Our hands are still together and no light is peering through my window so it can’t be that long since I fell asleep. Another disgruntled sound carries itself throughout the room. I shift slightly, leaning over Anakin cautiously.

Golden brown curls are beginning to stick to his forehead and his eyebrows are drawn together sharply. He’s having a nightmare. I shift even further forward before cautiously placing a hand on his shoulder before squeezing him gently.

“Anakin,” I whisper, “it’s not--it’s not real.” His eyebrows draw together even more harshly. I shake him a little more stubbornly. “Anakin, wake up--you’re having a ni--”

My forearm is grabbed so suddenly I barely register it before I feel my back shoved into my mattress. I blink twice. His dark eyes are frantic and the look on his face is far from the gentle, easygoing expression I’m used to. He’s breathing deeply, his chest rising and falling from above me. I swallow a slight panic and something I don’t understand as I try to keep my eyes on his face and my thoughts away from how close he is. Anakin pries his fingers from my forearm one by one until only his palm is touching me.

“Y/n, I--”

“It’s okay.” Honestly, I’m more worried about his uneven breathing than the way he grabbed me. I can’t imagine everything he’s been through or how justified his nightmares are. Anakin moves his hand away from me. I don’t sit up until he’s off of me and sitting with his back against my headboard. “It’s okay--I just--you were having a nightmare and I thought I should wake you.” He doesn’t react. I turn my body further, keeping my back straight. Anakin doesn’t move, and the longer he stays still, the more I feel like I should say something else. “Do you want talk about it? Or do--do you want to talk about something else? Or go to sleep? Or get some water? Or--” The far off look behind his eyes silences me. I scoot forward slightly. “You’re okay, Anakin, I promise.”

His head turns at that, his eyes searching mine for something I don’t understand. “I thought...” He cuts himself off by swallowing once.

I shift a little more, trying to find anything normal in his expression. “Thought what?”

Anakin’s hand is on my arm so quickly I don’t even register his movement. I let his fingers press into my skin. He’s holding onto me like I’m a figment of a dream and he’s beginning to wake up. “I thought I’d failed.” He exhales, the sound heavy. “Failed you and that you’d--I thought I had lost you.”

A lump rises in my throat, thick and unmoving. Cautiously, I place my hand over the one still gripping my shoulder like a lifeline. “You didn’t. Nothing happened, it was just a dream.”

His gaze falls to the ground before he repeats the last of my words. “Just a dream.” There’s a hollowness to his voice I don’t understand.

I exhale, carefully running my thumb over his knuckles. “Yes.” He doesn’t say anything but his expression hardens again. I let us sit there like that for a long minute. “I promise.”

“You can’t promise things like that.”

I sigh, unsure of where to go from here. “Bad dreams are only bad dreams.” He doesn’t reply. “I think you should try to get some more sleep.”

Anakin is unresponsive. I shift back, but before I can transition from almost being on top of him to just sitting next to him, he pulls on my arm to keep in place. “I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you.”

“Nothing’s going to happen to me.”

“You almost died today, y/n. I was right there and if I had been a second later--”

“But you weren’t.” He doesn’t ease. “You were there and I was fine. Don’t torment yourself over what could have been. You’ll drive yourself crazy.”

“If anything ever happened to y--”

“It’s not going to,” I whisper, ignoring the way his hold on my arm tightens even further, “Especially this time a year when I have a pretty good gau--”

He tilts his head slightly, eyebrows drawing together and a ghost of a smile on his lips. “Pretty good? Really?”

“Someone needs to watch your ego, chosen one.” This time when he tries for a smile, the look has some strength behind it. Relief pools in my stomach. “Now get some sleep, tomorrow’s a busy day and when you’re sleepy you’re beyond irritable.”

Anakin lets me pull away enough to lay down, but he doesn’t follow. Not for a long second. When he does, his movements are impossibly rigid. I watch him out of the corner of my eye as carefully as I can manage.

“Y/n?”

I regret turning my head immediately. I didn’t realize how close he was. It would take no effort from me to make our lips meet. Wait--why am I thinking of that? I’m not allowed to think of stuff like that...especially not about him.

“Yes?”

He lets out a breath before moving his hand. I don’t understand his hesitation until I feel his hand cupping my cheek gently. “What if next time I’m not enough? What if next time I lose you because I’m not strong enough?”

I never thought my death would be such a personal thing to him. Sure, I knew that we had some kind of bond, some kind of friendship, and that my death would bring sadness. But I never imagined I’d matter enough to him that thoughts of my death would be frightening enough to slip into his subconscious and become a thing of nightmares.

“You are enough. Nothing is going to happen to me and if it does it’s not going to be because of you.” Anakin’s lips press together in a way that implies serious uncertainty. His thumb brushes across my cheek so unexpectedly I almost ask him what he’s doing. The intensity behind his eyes is enough to burn me. “Was your dream really that bad?”

He lets out an uncertain breath as his eyebrows draw together. I don’t miss the way his jaw clenches. “It’s more than the dream. I...y/n, princess,” he tacts on, a hint of humor returning to him, “you’re more than a mission to me.”

The admission is so soft I can’t help but smile. “I know, Anakin, we’re--”

“You’re more than a friend to me.” I don’t know if my blood freezes in my veins or if my lungs don’t contract when they should or if my heart literally skips a beat, but I know something in me completely stops at his words. “I--”

“Don’t say it.” I don’t know how I managed to cut him off so sharply and I’m a little disappointed when I do, but it’s the right thing to do. Thought of the code that’s so important to him have clouded half the immense shock and joy swelling in my chest. “What you’re trying to say...I um, I want to say the same.” I try to drop my gaze but he tilts my head up slightly with his hand. “But we shouldn’t, you know that.”

"You want to us to pretend that nothing’s different? You want me to escort you from meetings with one suitor to the next every Coronation Season until you’re married off?”

“No, I’m not saying that. The point is that I’m not saying anything.” His eyebrows draw together in uncertainty. “Isn’t it enough for now, for both of us to just know? If we say it...that could mean bad things for you. And I don’t want to be a bad thing for you.”

“You could never be.”

It’d be so easy to believe him. To believe him and to let him say what I never imagined I’d be able to hear and damn the consequences of tomorrow. “Can we just refrain from verbally saying anything until you’re sure?”

“I’m sure right now. I’ve been sure since the first time we ever walked in the garden together. The night after the first Coronation Ball I escorted you to.”

I remember that night well. The way he hadn’t scolded me for needing air or taking off my uncomfortably high heels to walk in the grass. “If you mean it, you won’t say it yet. I refuse to get in the way of what you’re meant for.”

His thumb runs my cheek entirely, stopping at the corner of my mouth. “Are you capable of not disagreeing with me?”

Rolling my eyes slightly, I place my hand over his. “Probably not.”

Anakin exhales, his playful irritation clear in the sound. “You’re impossible when you’re tired.”

“I am not tired.”

“I can see the sleep in your eyes.”

“I can see it in yours too.”

He pauses, eyebrows drawn together cautiously. “I’ll go to sleep if you do.”

He must be more tired than I thought if he’s compromising with me so quickly. “Deal.”

Neither of us close our eyes for a long second, we just watch each other with wide eyes. It still doesn’t feel like he’s eased, but he’s come back to me so much more than he was earlier. I’ll make sure to check how he’s feeling in the morning. The first morning after we’ve...I don’t know.

I’m trying really hard not to get excited because anything that’s been not said could be taken back so easily. That’s the point--but it’s hard not to let my heart get ahead of my rationality. I’ll just take the good for what it is for now and tomorrow we can figure out the rest. Even though he’s not allowed to form attachments and my father really wants to marry me off to foreign royalty.

Tomorrow. This can begin to be solved tomorrow. My eyes shut and I let myself roll fully onto my back. The second I’m comfortably settled, I feel Anakin shift against the bed. I’m too tired to open my eyes until I feel a weight placed against my chest.

I open my eyes on instinct, less surprised than I should be when I see Anakin’s head resting against my chest. Before I can speak, I feel his arm rest against my side. “Anakin,” I breathe, my hand moving to smooth his hair out of his face the way I’ve wanted to for so long. “What did we just talk about?”

“You said not to say anything,” he mumbles comfortably, “I’m not saying anything.” ...It is kind of the ideal compromise. Especially since I’m too tired to find reason and he feels so warm. “I can feel you overthinking. Go back to smoothing my hair before I have to rise and stand at your door so that your handmaid comes to wake you. Something tells me she’d be glad for the excuse to get rid of me.”

That might be the most dramatic thing I’ve ever heard him say. Selma is the most patient woman in the palace. “Selma would never report anything involving me, I can’t believe you don’t like her. She’s the sweetest woman I’ve ever met.”

“She’s the one that doesn’t like me,” he says, “she always watches me like she’s trying to figure out if I’m planning on stealing you away.”

Too tired to fight my smile, I go back to smoothing his hair out with my fingers. After a moment, he lets out an exhale that relaxes his entire body. “Goodnight, princess.”

“Goodnight.” The word is barely a mumble as I feel sleep tug against me for the second time tonight.

It’s strange, but my excitement doesn’t diminish my tiredness, it just makes the prospect of rest feel so much fuller. Safer. Because there’s so much to sort out and grieve but it’s okay, because we have the time and everything feels okay because Anakin is here, right beneath my fingertips.

#anakin skywalker #anakin #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin x reader #anakin x you #anakin skywalker imagine #anakin skywalker x you #anakin skywalker x y/n #star wars #star wars x reader #star wars imagine #star wars imagines #star wars fic

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tennessoui · 3 years

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29 G.A.t.W. AU - The C.W.s start 2yrs early bc of Galactic Law EVERY Natborn in the GAR MUST be 18yr old. Obi-Wan is forced to leave behind his young Padawan. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.. Without the Masters being able to be there physically they have to start training programs to help the Pawadans. Every Master now has to teach certain subjects. Anakin finally sees a mind healer & finds inner peaces without the Council breathing down his neck. The Temple Locked Down so No Sith Influenc

so this is a beautiful ask and beautiful future and i followed it like i follow my google maps directions which means maybe 30% of the way but i was watching lord of the rings and thinkin about braids so here is this and i'm very sorry it's what it is

29. Going Away To War AU (Tatooine slave culture, 17!Anakin, preslash/Anakin's pining, mullet!Obi-Wan)(2.3k)

The Padawan braid isn’t the first braid Anakin learns about. It’s not even the fiftieth. By the time Qui-Gon Jinn, Queen Amidala, and Obi-Wan Kenobi land on Tatooine, Anakin is well-versed in the language of braids and what each means. He hadn’t had any of his own yet, seeing as how he was only nine with no accomplishments or triumphs or romantic entanglements to advertise, but if he had stayed on Tatooine, he’d probably have gotten his first braid after he won the podrace.

HIs mother would have done it with gentle hands and a proud smile, and their neighbors would have gathered outside their door to try and be the first one to congratulate him.

Braids are important. They’re sacred. Their style and the beads woven through the strands signify everything important to know about the Tatooinian wearing them. He’d see the freed people’s braids in the marketplace and burn with envy. He’d see a blushing girl braid her lover’s obsidian into his hair to signify courtship, and know one day he’d do the same to someone else. He’d practice his braids until his hands hurt from the motion, wanting to be perfect at it before he’d need to know. After all, as a slave, there wouldn’t be much else he could offer them except beautiful braids and beads.

There is only one braid he doesn��t know the meaning of, and it’s the one that hung down Obi-Wan Kenobi’s shoulder when they first met.

He thinks about asking him, even though it might be considered rude, but before he can, they’re at the Jedi Temple, then on Naboo and then Master Jinn is dead and Obi-Wan’s braid is gone, and Anakin thinks, oh. So the braid means love.

Mourners on Tatooine cut the braids off their dead and then a single braid from their own head, to mean that a part of themselves has died as well. Obi-Wan tries to be extra nice to Obi-Wan after that.

That is, until the man approaches Anakin with a serrated knife and a rueful grin and tells him that because the Council has allowed him to take him as his padawan, it’s time for Anakin to have the Padawan haircut.

The fit Anakin throws at these words could probably be heard back on Tatooine, but his new master must be made of the same strength Lukka crafts the sandstorms from, because an hour later, Anakin is looking at his shorn locks on the floor in a state of horrified shock.

Obi-Wan kneels down at his side as he begins braiding together the lone strand of hair Anakin has been allowed to keep.

“I’m sorry,” his master says quietly. “I know that your hair is very important to you on Tatooine.”

“How will I practice my braids now?” Anakin asks despondently. If he is to have short hair until he’s Obi-Wan’s age (ancient), then he won’t ever be able to practice the courtship braids. The engagement braids. The marriage braids. All the other ones too. Do the Jedi just present their beloveds with sloppy braids?

The thought has him near tears.

Obi-Wan looks very panicked. “Please don’t cry,” he begs. “Jedi apprentices shouldn’t cry.”

Anakin’s vision becomes even more blurred at this. Now he’ll never be able to practice his braids and he’s a bad Jedi.

“Oh blast, that’s not what I meant,” Obi-Wan backtracks, hesitantly putting his hand on Anakin’s shoulder. It’s not very comforting, but it’s the best Anakin has so he resolves to make do and lean into the touch. “Well. You can, uh. You can braid my hair?”

Anakin sniffles. “Your hair is short. And ugly.”

His master laughs and ruffles Anakin’s own short hair. “I’ll grow it out, just for you if it’s that important to you.”

He would? Anakin looks up at him hopefully. That could work. It even makes sense, kind of, for Obi-Wan to let Anakin braid his hair. After all, Anakin’s going to be wearing Obi-Wan’s braid, even though he doesn’t love him yet.

Maybe the Jedi do things differently. Maybe the Jedi weave the braid, and the love comes later.

---

“I remember a young boy telling me my hair was ugly,” his master says consideringly, as he lets himself be pushed to the floor while Anakin clambers onto the bed behind him.

“You bring that up every time, Master,” he sighs as he strokes his hands through Obi-Wan’s admittedly beautiful mane of hair. It’s not as long as he’d like, not really, but it doesn at least go down to his shoulders. “I don’t know how many times you want me to apologize.”

“Oh, just once more,” his master smiles with his voice. Anakin will miss this. Anakin doesn’t know how he’ll live without it, without Obi-Wan’s quiet wit and wry humor, his willingness to indulge Anakin no, even if it’s been eight years of braid-practicing.

“Once more might be all we have time for, Master,” Anakin whispers. His fears are not the sort one can say loudly.

“Do not think like that,” Obi-Wan turns his head to the side just enough so that he can look up at Anakin. “It will be fine. I will be fine.” “You’d be better if I came with you!” Anakin argues loudly. “You know I’m old enough! It’s not fair!”

His voice cracks on the last word, making him wince as Obi-Wan raises an eyebrow.

“The Jedi Council and all Republic legal branches have spoken. We will not take children into a warzone--”

“Then don’t, but I’m almost eightee--”

“--And I agree with them.”

Anakin’s fingers slacken on the strands of hair, loosening the braid. “You do?” he asks, feeling betrayed. “You want to leave me here at the Temple while you go get yourself killed on some Mid-Rim planet?”

“I want you safe, Padawan,” Obi-Wan corrects, breaking away from him so that he may stand up and sit beside him on the bed. “A war is no place for Jedi, but while us knights have no choice but to fight, we would keep our younglings as far from it as possible--even those younglings who are only a few months shy of being eighteen.”

“You’re taking away my choice,” Anakin says quietly, anger abating enough that he has to struggle to hide the fear in his voice. He brings his knees up against his chest and curls tightly into himself. “What if you die and--and--” he breaks off and pulls useless at his Padawan braid.

He knows what it means now after eight years spent at the Jedi Temple. It’s supposed to denote the Padawan from the Master, and signify the respect an apprentice has for their teacher.

But he’s never been able to shake his original conclusion that it was a representation of love, though he’d never say that aloud.

But when he touches it, sees it in the mirror, he’s reminded only of the love he bears for his master. A guilty, shameful love that takes up too much of his mind and heart. He’d fallen in love with Obi-Wan somehow. Now when Anakin dreams of marriage beads, his fingers are invariably braiding them into coppery blond hair. Now when Anakin dreams of--well, other things, it’s always Obi-Wan’s body beneath his, over his, inside of his, around his--

And now the galaxy is at war, the Knights and Masters of the Jedi Temple called to defend the Republic, and Anakin is too young to follow his master.

“And what, dear one?” Obi-Wan asks gently, hand coming up to unclasp Anakin’s fingers from his braid. “If I die, you will let me go as any Jedi would. I will become one with the Force and you will continue forward.”

Anakin almost wants to shake his shoulders. Doesn’t his master know anything about Anakin at all? How could Obi-Wan say these things as if he believes them? If Obi-Wan were to die--if he were to die away from Anakin, without Anakin--if the unthinkable were to happen--Anakin doesn’t know what he’d do.

A part of himself would die as well, he knows that immediately. He’d cut Obi-Wan’s braid from his hair so that the man could be buried with it, and he’d never weave another.

“Have faith in me, Anakin,” Obi-Wan tells him softly, hand falling to rest on his shoulders. “I will come back. Or perhaps in a few months you will join me.” He sounds falsely enthusiastic, like he’d do anything to keep Anakin away from the war.

As if Anakin would let that happen as soon as he’s legally able to fight.

“Will you let me braid your hair?” he whispers, slowly sitting cross-legged.

“Of course,” Obi-Wan says immediately, sinking back to the floor.

“Will you keep them in this time? For as long as you can?” Anakin asks, shily, running his fingers through Obi-Wan’s hair slowly, savoring the softness of the strands.

“I will do my best,” his master promises him. “What will they mean?”

“Good fortune,” Anakin replies, seeing the braid come together in his mind’s eye. Yes, good fortune, a plea to the gods who see Obi-Wan in battle to look the other way. To take someone else instead. He gets to work, collecting a chunk of hair on the left side of Obi-Wan’s temple to braid back.

Nothing’s fixed. Nothing’s better. The person Anakin’s pretty sure is the love of his life will be sent out to fight tomorrow at dawn, and he might die never knowing how Anakin feels about him.

But it’s not like Anakin can tell him either, not when he’s seventeen. Not when he’s Obi-Wan’s Padawan.

He’s always planned to wait until after he’s been Knighted, after Obi-Wan has been given enough time to see Anakin as a man who has a choice whether or not to love him. And, yes, the Code forbids attachment and Jedi cannot marry, but it’s not like Anakin would ever be able to marry Obi-Wan legally even on Tatooine.

But he could give him the braids, if Obi-Wan wanted. That way, when they both died, in their sleep of natural causes, the Goddess Leia knows to keep their souls intertwined as she transports them to their afterlife.

Anakin’s fingers pause as he thinks of something that would make him feel better.

He bites his lip. His mother would disapprove. To give the braids to someone without their knowledge is heavily frowned upon.

Anakin winces, even as his hands change direction. These are extenuating circumstances. There’s a lot at stake here. Anakin can’t risk a life and an afterlife without his master. And he’s going to ask him eventually. Just not now. Just not yet.

The braids for good fortune form a crown over one’s head. The braids for marriage…

They start similarly enough at the temples, but connect to each other at the back of the head, where a third braid is begun. Then each braid is braided into each other. The left braid represents the braider. The right braid represents their beloved. The third braid that begins when the two meet represents the life that they will create together.

Anakin holds the three braids loosely in his hands, staring down at them in some sort of surreal shock. This is not the circumstances he has imagined doing this under, but he’s heartbroken. Not when it’s Obi-Wan who will be wearing his braids.

“Dear one?” Obi-Wan asks, breaking the heavy silence. “I do not mean to rush you, but my knees are starting to hurt.”

“You’re so old,” Anakin quips back, stroking a thumb over one of the braids, the right one--Obi-Wan’s.

“And you are so very young,” Obi-Wan retorts. “The two of us together is the equivalent of one good soldier.”

Anakin’s heart pauses for a second. “Would you want that?” he asks nonsensically.

“What?”

“If you could choose. If I were eighteen. Would you want to be…” Just as suddenly as he gained that sudden burst of confidence, he loses it. He sighs, mostly in disappointment at himself.

“Anakin?” Obi-Wan prompts.

“You’d want me there with you if I weren’t too young, wouldn’t you, master?” Anakin finally says.

Obi-Wan hesitates, and Anakin’s chest feels tight. “I would want you safe, regardless of age, dear one,” he settles on saying.

Anakin’s fingers clench down on the almost complete marriage braids. “But if there were no war,” he forges ahead. “If the war never happened. You wouldn’t want to leave me behind. You’d want to stay together.”

Anakin can just imagine the furrowed eyebrows Obi-Wan must be sporting as he tries to figure out what Anakin wants from him.

“Just answer the question,” Anakin begs, tightening his hold on the braids to prevent Obi-Wan from turning around.

“You are my Padawan, Anakin,” Obi-Wan says slowly. “And someone who will one day be my partner, my friend. I would like...very much to be allowed to see you finish growing into the fine man you will be. The one that in many ways you already are.”

“And then?” Anakin asks doggedly. “When we’re both knights. And you’re assigned...a mission. And you get to choose your partner. And it’s me or. Or someone else. I don’t care. Who would you choose?”

“Well, I suppose it would depend on if this fabricated mission depends on stealth. Secrecy. The ability to tell a believable falsehoo--”

“I’m being serious,” Anakin insists, cutting his master off. He almost wants to drop the braids, let them fall apart. Clearly Obi-Wan doesn’t...perhaps won’t ever--

“It’d be you,” Obi-Wan murmurs very quietly, as if afraid to speak louder. “We are better together than we are separate.”

Anakin blinks and then smiles, only a little teary-eyed at his master’s confession. “Yes, Master,” he agrees, finally--finally--braiding the three braids together and tying them off neatly. He pictures the material of their souls responding the same way that Obi-Wan’s hair has. The thought makes him feel equal parts giddy and guilty.

“After all, someone needs to make sure you don’t crash every ship in the Jedi Temple,” Obi-Wan continues dryly.

“Yes, Master,” Anakin agrees again, running a hand lightly over his work.

He’ll tell him when he’s a Knight. Really.

#mmmmm i like to think obi-wans just like. at a spaceport or something wearing these braids when anakin's 19/20 #almost a knight #and someone from tatooine sees the braids and compliments him on how nice they look and how pretty #because being well cared for is also a signn of a good marriage #and obi-wan is like 'thank you my padawan did them #and the person is like 'padawan? i havent heard that word before. is it the word for husband in your language'#and obi-wan is just ext.crash #asks #my fics #obikin #(anakin is so mortified and obi-wan DEFINITELY chews him out but then he uh notices the next day that obi-wan...didn't take the braids out)#and then anakin is like ext.crash #prompt fill #braid au

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ddaeng-danvers · 3 years

Text

lake house

pairing: anakin skywalker x reader

genre: fluff

summary: in which anakin doesn’t turn to the dark side and padme gives you a lake house

warnings: canon-typical violence, death, pregnancy

word count: 2610

a/n: i literally did this in one sitting bc i’m stupid and it’s so bad, so please do not expect a masterpiece,, for reference this is the nightgown i refer to at the end ----,, also this was slightly inspired by an ask i sent to @etherealsanakin the other day so here is that -----

masterlist

Anakin had been staring out the window of the Council room for what felt like hours, but you were sure was only a few minutes. His gaze was strong and hard. It wouldn’t take a force-wielder to understand something was on his mind. You knew he’d been agitated since his placement on the Council without becoming a master, but you knew there was more to this story. You held your tongue until you saw a single tear roll down the side of his face.

“Ani, my love what is bothering you?” You crouched down next to his seat and wrapped his hand in your own. He squeezed your hand.

“The Chancellor, he’s,” He closed his eyes and took in a shaky breath. “He’s the Sith Lord.” You let silence fill the room, before placing a chaste kiss on your and Anakin’s entwined hands.

“Have you told anyone? Anyone on the Council?” Anakin nodded ever so slightly.

“I informed Master Windu, and he told me to stay behind. That he would handle it.” He closed his eyes for a moment as if to better gather his thoughts. “I’m feeling, confused. I’m not sure of my place in all this.”

“I’m not sure I understand what you mean, Ani. Are you talking about the Order?” Anakin pulled his hand away from yours and pressed his palms to his face.

“The Chancellor promised me powers. Powers greater than any Jedi has ever possessed. The power to save you, from whatever it is I keep dreaming about.” Everything slowly started to click into place. Asking Anakin to be his representative on the Council. The nightmares and visions. Why no Jedi could sense a Sith Lord right under their noses. It was all the Chancellor’s manipulation. All of it. You stood up from your crouched position and stood in front of Anakin. You brought your hands to either side of his face and touched your foreheads together.

“My love, I need you to listen to me right now. And I need you to trust me. Can you do that?” Anakin smiled and his eyes curled up, sending a few stray tears down his face

“I always trust you.” Your heart warmed at his confession.

“I know you feel conflicted right now. You aren’t sure where your alliances truly lie.” Anakin nodded as if answering the question. “But if the Chancellor is a Sith Lord like you’ve said, he’s been manipulating you. Anakin, he wants you to join the dark side, and I know that’s not what you want. I know that’s not who you are.” Anakin stays silent, waiting for you to continue. “I have my criticisms of the Order, just as you do, but they want the best for you, I promise.” You place a kiss on the top of Anakin’s head. “I love you. I love you so much that I won’t let the Chancellor make you the man you’re not.” Anakin stands up from his seat and turns to look out the window.

“I love you too, Y/N. I-I just don’t want to lose you. I can’t”

“And you won’t. I’m right here.” You bring his hands to your cheeks. “I’m not leaving you.”

“I want to aid Master Windu,” Anakin admits.

“Then let’s go.” Anakin smiles up at you and grabs your hand. You both run from the Council room to the hanger, and grab a ship to fit both of you. The journey is short. As soon as you land, you both jump out and begin running towards the Chancellor’s office. While running, your each out for Anakin’s hand and grab it. “I’m not gonna lose you Ani.” Anakin looks at you, his expression still serious.

He simply says, “You won’t.” Before you knew it, you ran into the Chancellor’s office. The window had been shattered and blown out. Master Windu held his lightsaber to the Chancellor’s throat. The Chancellor was laying in front of Master Windu, his hands up in “peace”.

“You are under arrest, my lord.” Master Windu proclaimed. You and Anakin have released hands since entering the room but chose to remain close.

“Anakin, I told you it would come to this.” Anakin looked down at the Chancellor. A man he thought he could rely on, a man he thought he could trust. A man that turned out to be a liar. “I was right. The Jedi are taking over.”

“You are mistaken, Chancellor!” You exclaim.

“The oppression of the Sith will never return. You have lost.” Master Windu adds.

“No, no. You have lost!” The Chancellor yells as he shoots force lightning towards you and Master Windu. The lightning strikes you before you have a chance to ignite your lightsaber. You fall to the ground, and attempt to hold out. Anakin stands there, confused and conflicted yet again. All of his senses are overwhelming him. He trusts you, with his life. But the Chancellor had promised him the power to save you, and he couldn’t afford to lose you.

“Anakin!” You yell over the noise. You cannot hold out much longer, the Chancellor is too powerful. “He is lying to you, Anakin. He can’t help you!” Moments later, the Chancellor shouts out a response, still shooting out lightning. You are writhing on the floor.

“I have the power to save the one you love!” Ironic, Anakin thinks, as he’s shocking you with lightning. “You must choose!”

“Don’t listen to him Anakin!” Master Windu shouts out. You can barely hear what’s going on, too focused on keeping yourself conscious. The pain suddenly stops, and you try to pull yourself off the ground. Anakin leans down and helps you to your feet. You pull away from him as he pulls out his lightsaber.

“I trusted you, Chancellor! I trusted you, and all you did was lie!” Master Windu stepped aside slightly as if he knew what was to come. “You’ve done nothing but lie. And you hurt the one I love.” With that, Anakin swung his lightsaber and struck the Chancellor. And the Clone War was over.

---

Immediately following the Chancellor’s death, Master Windu sent you and Anakin to the med bay to treat your injuries. They were relatively minimal, considering the nature of the attack. Anakin stayed with you the whole time, he refused to leave your side. You suspected he blamed himself for waiting so long to step in.

“My love I know what you’re thinking. This isn’t your fault.” Anakin looked at the floor and shook his head.

“I let it go on for far too long, love. I shouldn’t have just let you lay there on the-”

“Anakin.” You interrupted. “You killed the Chancellor, you resisted his manipulation. The war is practically over.” Anakin squeezed your hand.

“You flatter me, Y/N.” The medical droid spoke up, reminding you of its presence.

“Y/N suffered minor burns and will make a full recovery.

“Thank you, 2-1B.” The droid held up its hand as if it had more to say.

“However, during the scan, I have found the Y/N is pregnant.” You feel your heart sink to your stomach. Was the baby okay? Had anything happened to it when you were attacked?

“Is the baby alright” Anakin spoke up.

“Yes, the baby is healthy.” 2-1B responded. You stood off of the bed and moved next to Anakin. He looked at your face before moving his gaze down to your stomach.

“My love, this, this is wonderful.” Anakin envelops you in a hug, squeezing you ever-so-slightly. “And the war is ending, this is perfect timing.” Anakin’s smile seems to increase tenfold with every passing second.

“Anakin, we’re still Jedi. What’re we gonna do?” Anakin smooths down the back of your hair and runs it between his fingers. “We’re not gonna worry about anything right now. All right?” You nod. “This is a happy moment. The happiest moment of my life.”

---

In the weeks that followed, Jedi and their platoons were sent to resolve any remaining conflicts. Luckily, the Council, recognizing your and Anakin’s efforts that ended the war, were absolved from duty.

Padme visited after the final negotiations concluded, and the treaty was signed. At this point, you were only a month or so along, and still found it easy to hide it from others. However, you’d spoken with Anakin the other night about plans for the future. What were you going to do when you couldn’t hide it. And clearly, you’d both broken the Code. You both came to the conclusion that your best bet would be asking Padme, a trusted friend if you could use her planet as a refuge.

“Padme!” You exclaimed as you opened the door to your quarters. You both gathered each other in a hug, having not seen each other since the Chancellor’s death. As you separated, you invited her in. You took a seat on your bed, as she gave Anakin a brief hug before sitting down.

“How have you both been?” Padme asked. She looked concerned. It’s clear she’d been worried since hearing about the nature of the Chancellor’s death.

“We’ve been doing well. Actually-”

“Y/N’s pregnant.” Anakin blurted out. As much as you were annoyed that he spoiled the announcement, you couldn’t be mad at the lovestruck expression on his face.

“Congratulations!” Padme stood up to give you another hug. Anakin stood up as well and placed a comforting hand on your back as you and Padme separated. “Is there anything I can do?”

“Yes, actually.” Padme looks at you, ready to listen. “The Order prohibits attachments, which clearly we have not abided by.” Anakin laughs softly. “So, as things become more obvious, we’re going to need somewhere to stay. We wondering if-”

“Of course you can come to Naboo!” Padme interrupts. “You two are always welcome. You can stay in one of my family’s lake houses, we don’t have much use for them anyway.”

“Thank you, Padme, truly.”

---

Eventually, it was time to present your situation to the Council. You and Anakin had decided to leave the Order so you could raise your family in peace. You had had enough fighting for a lifetime. You never wanted to become a General in the first place, but the war threw many of your plans out the window.

The only Council member who knew of your situation was Obi-Wan, who was incredibly accepting (and also very excited to be an Uncle). He promised to do as much as possible to lessen any consequences given by the Council.

Anakin grabbed your hand and pressed a kiss to your knuckles before you entered the room. “Everything will be okay, my love.” As you stepped into the room, you were met with the many faces of the Council. The Masters that raised you, trained you. You owed your life to these individuals, and it would be difficult to part with them.

“Master Skywalker, Master Y/L/N,” Master Yoda begins. “A request for us, you have?”

“Yes Master Yoda,” Anakin begins. “If I may be blunt, Y/N is with a child.” Several Council members made audible expressions of surprise, but many also looked as if Anakin had made the most obvious statement in the galaxy.

“You really think we weren’t aware of your attachment?” Master Windu chuckled. “The pregnancy, however, is a surprise.” Master Windu looks around at the members, who all nod their heads. “But we are willing to excuse this ignorance of the Code because of all you two have done for the order.”

“Thank you, Master Windu, but Anakin and I were planning on leaving the order to raise the child.” Many members begin to whisper among themselves.

“Many we ask why?” Shakk Ti, your former master asks.

“Master Ti, I think we’ve all had enough fighting for a lifetime.” Many members smile and chuckle at your comment. “I own the Jedi Order my life. But I am ready for another chapter of my life.”

“Granted, your request is.” Master Yoda replies.

---

You, Anakin, and Padme head to Naboo only a few days later, and Obi-Wan is there to send you off.

“You must send me holo-vids once the baby is born. I’m not sure how often I will be able to visit.”

“Of course, Master. We wouldn’t let you miss anything.” Anakin smiles.

Obi-Wan pulls you into a hug. “I wish you the best of luck, Y/N. I remember when you

were just a youngling, and look at you now.” Obi-Wan’s memory makes you smile. Some of your earliest memories were of the older padawans playing with you and your youngling clan in the Creche. It’s sweet to know Obi-Wan was one of those padawans.

“Thank you, Master Kenobi.” You look up to Anakin. “I’ll be with Padme, I’ll let you two say goodbye.” Anakin looks at his former master for but a moment before wrapping him up in a hug.

“Thank you, master. I’ve never thanked you enough for putting up with me all these years.” Obi-Wan chuckles.

“It was a pleasure, Anakin. It was a pleasure and an honor to train you. And I wish you well. Take care of her.”

“I plan on it.” With that, Anakin boards the ship to Naboo with you and Padme.

Upon landing, Padme excitedly shows you around the house her family is gifting you. The house is modest. A few bedrooms, a couple of refreshers, the perfect home for the (growing) family moving in.

“We can’t thank you enough, Padme.”

“It’s really no problem, let me know if there is anything else you need. I’m just a holo-call away.” With that, Padme left you two alone. You continued to move about the house. With what little possession you and Anakin had, there wasn’t much to decorate, you hoped that would change over time. You eventually ended up in your and Anakin’s room. It wasn’t much, but it was yours, and that’s all that mattered. However, when you opened the closet, you found it fully stocked. You’d always admired Padme’s gowns, and it seems she left you some of your own. One, in particular, struck your eye. A blue silk nightgown with pearls at the neckline. You slip in on, thankful to be out of your Jedi robes for one of the first times in your life.

You make your way out onto the balcony overlooking the lake. Anakin is already there watching the sunset. He senses your presence and turns around.

“Love, what are you wearing?” He asks, a smirk rising on his face. Anakin holds out his hand and pulls you to him. He looks from your eyes to your lips and kisses you.

“Padme left all kinds of things in the closet. I thought I’d try one on.” Anakin smiles.

“I’ll be sure to give Padme my thanks.” Anakin pulls you in closer and kisses you harder. He eventually pulls away to breathe. The happiness on his face is contagious.

“You look happy, my love.” Anakin lays his forehead against yours.

“It’s because I am, love. Maker, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. We’re here, together, and the baby will be able to grow up here.” Anakin places his hands on your stomach, and his expression changes quickly.

“What is it love, is something wrong?” His expression of surprise changes to one of content.

“Nothing it wrong, Y/N. I’m not a med droid but I think I sense two force presences in there.”

“Two? Two as in-”

“Twins, yes, twins! Twins Y/N!” Anakin picks you up and practically spins you before setting you down and embracing you again. “I love you so much, Y/N.”

“I love you too, Anakin.”

#anakin skywalker #anakin skywalker imagine #anakin skywalker fluff #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin imagine #anakin fluff #anakin x reader #star wars #star wars imagine #star wars fluff #star wars prequels

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giggles-and-freckles · 3 years

Text

my fic masterlist

decided to do this for my own sake more than anyone else’s because sometimes I have to make sure the idea I get at 3am isn’t one I’ve already written hehe. anyway, a lot of these are on my ao3, but I’m also going to try and track down some of my TuMbLr-eXcLuSiVe fics, too. I’ll update this as often as I remember (so, uhhh–)

In-Progress: Not On A Consistent Updating Schedule Bc Abi is a Mess ™

midst of the mind – Anakin has always had a pretty good understanding of his feelings, even if he's not particularly disciplined in acting on them. But things surrounding the Chancellor seem to be off and Anakin's determined to get to the bottom of it. With a little help from his friends.(or: fix-it ROTS fic where Ani, Obi, and Padmé take down the Chancellor one fake smile and late-night tea party at a time)

evermore – "dreamscapes and tragedies and epic tales of love lost and found" within the lives of our favourite space fam. (or: TAYLOR SWIFT LITERALLY OWNS MY SOUL, OKAY?) (unrelated one-shots based on taylor swift songs ha)

filling the gaps – after the horror of Naboo, Obi-Wan has flipped from Padawan to having a Padawan in a matter of hours and he's not sure how much longer he can pretend like he's okay. thankfully, this one spunky youngling who keeps popping up in the corners of his life seems to know what to do. (or: baby!Soka unknowingly helps new Knight!Kenobi figure things out and braids his hair along the way)

Obi-Wan & Ahsoka: Best Father-Daughter Duo In The Galaxy According To Me (because let’s be honest...that’s why I’m here) (tagged: #obi & soka)

filling the gaps – *in-progress multi-chapter* after the horror of Naboo, Obi-Wan has flipped from Padawan to having a Padawan in a matter of hours and he's not sure how much longer he can pretend like he's okay. thankfully, this one spunky youngling who keeps popping up in the corners of his life seems to know what to do. (or: baby!Soka unknowingly helps new Knight!Kenobi figure things out and braids his hair along the way)

playing catch – Ahsoka finds an old friend on Tatooine and has lots of questions. they cry a lot. obi-wan tells some white lies. they get the hugs they need. (Obi-Wan & Ahsoka reunite on Tatooine)

all too young – during a bout of insomnia while on Onderon, Ahsoka gets some advice and insight about her Master. (or Obi-Wan hears Ahsoka laugh for the first time and they get to have a snuggle and he absolutely spends the entire next day training the rebels trying not to cry thinking about it every dang time he sees her.)

hologram heart-to-hearts – we see Obi-Wan and Ahsoka have a conversation via hologram in the final season of tcw, but what if there had been...more?(three-parter) (basically Obi and Soka keep in touch after she leaves the Order and there’s...a lot of emotions involved)

little love – a sort of follow-up to hologram heart-to hearts; Ahsoka sticks her nose into the wrong Alliance meeting and discovers a certain Jedi is alive and on Tatooine of all places, so she places a long-distance call.

bad days – Ahsoka tries to squeeze out of her Grand Master exactly what happened on Mortis. and, as always, Obi-Wan is powerless to deny her anything, no matter how painful that truth may be.

sleeping with monsters – Ahsoka is having a hard time sleeping after her time on Felucia, so Obi-Wan offers a solution.

chance meeting – Obi-Wan is up late researching for his Master in the archives when a certain sneeze–and pair of big blue eyes–catch his attention.

‘drooping eyelids’ prompt fill – Ahsoka and Obi-Wan have a conversation about attachment while Anakin’s missing. they (plus Anakin) get some platonic cuddles.

‘dancing’ prompt fill – they attend a senatorial gala without Anakin because he’s feeling grumpy grump after deception arc fall-out. Obi realises that there are still things to be thankful for.

sorrow – Ahsoka feels the full weight of loss as she clutches her Grand Master’s dead body. (deception arc FEELS!!!!)

‘I do not pretend to set people right, but I do see they are often wrong’ prompt fill – *trigger warning: death of children; Obi comforts Ahsoka after they witness an atrocity of the highest order.

the silence between — Ahsoka gets assigned to the 212th as her Master recovers. Unwanted quality time with her Grand Master doesn’t go as planned.

untitled ‘Obi & Ani role reversal au’ ficlet — Padawan Obi-Wan pays a visit to his best pal Ahsoka in the crèche.

‘falling asleep on each other’s shoulder’ prompt fill – the summary says it all. fluff!

'I don’t wanna die’ – Obi-Wan comforts Ahsoka in her pain. *tw: implied major character death

‘I made tea’ – Anakin is off-world so it’s up to Obi-Wan to take care of his sick grand-padawan.

sorry for the soup – post-deception arc. Ahsoka stops by Obi-Wan’s quarters to check-in.

Obi-Wan & Anakin: The Early Years (tagged: #obi & ani)

figuring it out – Anakin learns waking Obi-Wan up can sometimes be a good thing and Obi-Wan learns that maybe everything's going to be okay. (padawan!ani & new dad knight!kenobi)

if I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more – Anakin overhears a conversation he wasn’t meant to hear and lashes out in response. lots of hurt is uncovered and Obi-Wan hears some hard truths from his Padawan. angst, angst, angst...but with a hug.

reading lessons – the team takes a trip to the archives to find some reading material. Anakin is adorably insecure.

cold – Obi-Wan and Anakin have their first solo mission, but in typical Kenobi & Skywalker fashion, it does not go as planned. Exasperated Obi-Wan and Won't-Shut-Up Anakin are put to the test by deep space and a completely out-of-fuel ship. (or some more fluff where padawan!ani and new knight!kenobi get to try and figure out how the heck this master-padawan thing WORKS. hint: it's not easy!)

playing hooky – angel baby Anakin breaks Obi-Wan's heart and it's not for the last time...womp wooooomp.

like you – sweet, angel baby Ani gives himself a haircut and Obi-Wan deals with the aftermath. (I’m copying and pasting most of these summaries directly from ao3 and cracking up because I called Anakin a sweet angel baby in two in a ROW hahah)

fun? – the Jedi Council gives Obi-Wan his newest orders as a young Jedi Knight and he struggles to understand them. he was instructed to take his new Padawan and...have...fun?

go away/please stay – Obi-Wan has been disappearing for solo missions more and more often and Anakin's starting to wonder if it's more than just on request of the Council. (or: can you say TEEN ANGST!)

‘forehead kisses’ prompt fill – Anakin stumbles upon his Master having quite the nightmare, so he handles it the way his mom always handled his own nightmares. with patience and affection.

unnamed NAP TIME fic – Obi-Wan gets home from a solo mission early to find his bed occupied.

‘sweets’ prompt fill – Anakin gets a little ambitious with his choco-ball indulgence.

‘fuzzy socks’ prompt fill – years after arriving at the Temple, Anakin still hasn’t quite adjusted to the cold. Obi-Wan gets him a gift to help. (really just an excuse for some obi ani banter)

‘snowball fight’ prompt fill – Anakin takes his boredom to the next level, much to his Master’s chagrin.

untitled Anakin sickfic bc I’m not feeling very creative right now – the team goes on a mission but Anakin gets sick. Obi-Wan is ultimate mother hen and Anakin makes an observation.

got germs – sickficlet where both of our best boys are sick.

you’re okay – just some classic protective parent!Obi-Wan and teenaged son!Anakin post disaster.

‘you lied to me’ – angstpril day 13. Anakin really wants to go to Ilum and make his lightsaber...but is met with disappointment.

random sickfic – because we all know Anakin is the most annoying sick person in the world.

don’t struggle – the ship is crashing, as usual. but this time, Anakin’s seatbelt is stuck. *tw: implied major character deaths

relic – sith!Obi au. *tw: major character death

aspectabund – Anakin’s eyes betray him and his Master.

Obi-Wan & Anakin: Brotp But Also Idiots Who Don’t Know How To Communicate (still tagged #obi & ani)

define ‘attachment’ – while the dads esteemed Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker wait for Ahsoka to wake up, they talk about attachment, worry, and that time Ani caused an accidental security breech at the Temple.

favourites – Obi-Wan has been tasked with telling Anakin of his special assignment to keep an eye on the Chancellor, but he gets sappy and sentimental in the process because these conversations are hard.

after all these years – Obi-Wan tries to talk to Anakin, but it doesn't go well. does this sound familiar OR WHAT? (post-decpetion arc angst)

brilliant – Anakin is having a difficult time adjusting to his new mechno-arm for one very specific reason. (the boys communicate properly in this one and even get a hug as a treat!)

sober words said aloud – Anakin's meeting with the Council is interrupted by his highly intoxicated–and wildly affectionate–Master. (crack fic turned fluff)

‘you’ve been crying, I can tell’ prompt fill – Anakin makes the mistake of checking in on his Master after a particularly grueling mission. it doesn’t go well. (or: Obi-Wan loses his sh!t)

going somewhere? – Obi-Wan catches Anakin on his way out for a midnight rendezvous with a certain Senator. Anakin makes a quick decision and chooses Obi-Wan. sweet words are exchanged on a sentimental walk.

shaking hands – in the immediate wake of Ahsoka’s departure form the order, Anakin...isn’t okay. Obi-Wan tries to do something about it. (post S5 angst)

untitled platonic tired cuddles/back scratching fic – Anakin resorts to an old tactic to make his Master rest.

sun shine on – Obi-Wan and Anakin take a little trip to Tatooine to visit Shmi’s grave. (post-ROTS fix-it au of sorts)

pushing it too far — Obi-Wan calls Anakin for some help when he takes ‘intel’ too seriously and ends up drunk on a street in lower-level Coruscant.

whump prompt fill – Obi-Wan looks after Anakin after a near-miss. They talk.

‘was it another premonition?’ – Obi-Wan dreams of Luke. He wakes up to Anakin.

post-mortis angst – Anakin remembers. *tw: implied suicidal thoughts

angstpril: ‘you have to let me go’ – Anakin and Obi-Wan are stuck in a pit. only one of them can make it out alive. *tw: implied major character death

role model – post-deception angst. Obi and Ani talk. it doesn’t go well.

here either way – conversations about mental health. *tw: panic attack

hiraeth – Obi-Wan walks alone. *post ROTS

Anakin & Ahsoka: Dream Team Sharing One Single Brain Cell (tagged: #snips & skyguy or (for the really angsty) #its crying about snips & skyguy hours)

that one person – (my first fic!) Anakin gets assigned to lecture a class of younglings, but he's not the only one who doesn't want to be there.or Ahsoka Tano is done with Jedi sh!t and tries to leave, but this time it's just a classroom and not the entire Order and there's a lot less tears and pain.

here and now – the Force has tried to swallow Ahsoka Tano three times. it's hard to be the last one standing. (or Ahsoka feels the death of three important men in her life and is tired of being left behind) *tw: major character deaths (canon compliant and not depicted, only mentioned)

whumptober: crying – Anakin comforts a distraught Ahsoka after her disaster mission over Ryloth.

reaching out – Anakin is always there...until he’s not. Ahsoka reflects on how different it is fighting and living without Anakin at her side. (angst)

help would come – Anakin and Ahsoka get stuck on an ice planet and things get dire. I chalked this full of parallels to the final conversation between Ani and Luke bc I love pain, I guess?

whump: ‘i’ve got you’ – Anakin pulls Ahsoka from a nightmare.

zen!Anakin ficlet — Ahsoka visits Anakin in his new job as Galaxy’s #1 Dad (well Plo Koon still exists so maybe #1.5?).

right as rain – Ahsoka insists she is fine when she is distinctly not.

snoozeville – Anakin and a few boys of the 501st find their Commander catching some extra z’s.

stitching up – Ahsoka performs some in-the-moment surgery for Anakin and he tries not to scream. *tw: field surgery

‘platonic spooning’ prompt fill – do I need a summary after that?

sad hours: dancing – Anakin and Ahsoka dance in the aftermath of tragedy.

rainy ending given to a perfect day – Anakin and Ahsoka take a trip into downtown Coruscant.

Anakin and Padmé: Abi Tries and fails To Write Romance (tagged: #anidala)

not enough – Anakin has a hard time with the Mortis fall-out. Padmé doesn’t know how to help someone who doesn’t want it. some painful connections between Ahsoka and Shmi are made. (angst, no happy ending, trouble in paradise)

I will not have this baby in a jail cell – some fluff, some crack, some Anakin-being-so-proud-of-his-badass-wife.

marcid – domestic fluff in which Padmé almost shoots him. ha. oops!

rubatosis – angsty anidala hours. Anakin can’t go to sleep.

Obi-Wan and Satine: Abi Tries and fails some more To Write Romance (tagged #obitine)

don’t go – Obi-Wan makes a choice. *year on the run timeline

that’s mine – some happiness AU obitine. waking up next to each other. laughing. all the sappy stuff.

accidental keldabe kiss – all the ridiculous tropes I love with our favourite pining idiots. it’s the ‘kiss me so they don’t see us!’ trope!!!! *year on the run timeline

you’re shaking – Satine knows Obi-Wan more than he’d like. *year on the run

Anakin, Obi-Wan, Ahsoka, Rex, Padmé: Space Found Family In Whatever Form It Comes

i want your midnights – the gang attends a New Year's banquet (read: party) and Padmé surprises them all with her midnight kiss.

flair for dramatics – when the gang gets their ship stranded on a desert planet, Anakin and Ahsoka get creative as they try to keep spirits up and minds off the sweltering heat. Obi-Wan questions his sanity. (crack fic turned fluff)

nothing a cup of tea can’t fix – when Anakin shows up to Obi-Wan's quarters in the middle of the night, the Jedi Master knows something has gone awry. answering Anakin's desperate cry for help, Obi-Wan is reminded of how very, very prone to dramatics his former Padawan and Grand Padawan are. (or: Ahsoka gets sick and Anakin flips his shit.) (sickfic)

in the sandstorm – when Tatooine's weather takes a turn for the worst, Ben Kenobi finds a young boy in need of shelter and some lessons on how wonderful his dad had been. (luke and obi-wan hurt/comfort)

remembering hurts – Rex and Ahsoka strive to survive on the snowy moon in the days after Order 66. tensions are high and emotions are volatile.

balter – disaster trio dances at a senatorial ball.

reunion – au where Anakin doesn’t completely turn to the dark side but everything up to and including Mustafar (except for the last like...five minutes) happens. Padmé has the twins, Obi-Wan is overwhelmed, Anakin is a mess. they’re happy...or at least, they will be soon.

‘cookies’ prompt fill – disaster trio makes cookies for the crechelings for Life Day. (just fluff and banter)

first ever codywan! – Cody does some bedside vigil for a hurt Obi-Wan. :’)

transponster – disaster trio is tired and delusional. Rex and Cody want Jedi to have some kriffing self-preservation.

one final salute — Obi-Wan and Cody get trapped. Obi-Wan’s luck is running out. (angst? angst.)

codywan whump – Cody saves Obi-Wan’s life. again. (more fluff than whump)

girls’ night – Ahsoka hangs out with her mom pal Padmé.

driving lessons – Obi-Wan and Anakin teach Ahsoka to drive. ha.

affectionate obi – the kids get Obi-Wan a puppy. fluff!

sorry I don’t speak idiot – Rex and Fives deal with a drunk Echo :’)

post deception disaster trio sadness – Ahsoka tries to keep Obi-Wan company in the aftermath of Rako Hardeen...but Anakin isn’t playing nice.

verklempt – Ahsoka and Yoda talk about being chosen. and Ahsoka finds out maybe she hasn’t been left behind afterall. *pre-TCW

apricity – disaster trio have a picnic at the temple! just pure fluff.

pyrrhic – codywan but make it angsty. some battles are won at too great a cost.

disaster trio sickfic – two Jedi dads and their (sick) daughter :’)

‘you’ve been here this whole time?’ – newlyweds anidala (but shh, Obi-Wan doesn’t know that! yes he does, everyone does.) are there when Obi-Wan wakes up and he ownders just what he did to get so lucky.

Febuwhump 2021: A Foray into Hurting the Characters I Love the Most

mind control – Anakin’s narrative as he fights Ahsoka on Mortis. sad boy hours. a lot of insecurity happening here.

‘I can’t take this anymore’ – during the Obitine (plus third-wheel Qui-Gon) year on the run, Satine gets tired of Obi-Wan trying to die for her. a bit hurt/comfort, a lot sappy.

imprisonment – on their first mission together, Obi & Ani get captured. Anakin learns how Obi-Wan feels about tight spaces.

coma – post deception arc. Obi-Wan goes into a coma after a particularly intense conversation with Anakin. Anakin tells Obi’s unconscious body how he’s feeling. angst, angst, angst. there’s your warning.

‘take me instead’ – Anakin escorts Padmé on a diplomatic mission but things get dicey and quick decisions must be made. Anakin isn’t the only one in this relationship willing to be an idiot for the sake of *love.* (or: another attempt to write Anidala in a convincing way because they give me a tough! time! so this time make it...dangerous)

insomnia – Anakin overhears a late night holo-call and learns that his Master has a...friend that is a girl???? and is pretty???? but also that his Master may need some fixing and he thinks he may just be the nine-year-old for the job.

poisoning – Ahsoka gets drugged and Anakin gets...er...angry. (read: dark)

‘hey, hey, this is no time to sleep’ – as Ahsoka and Anakin wait for help, Anakin tells a story. an ancient monster in the heart of Tatooine...waiting for it's day of reckoning. (or: Ahsoka gets dehydrated and Anakin can't deny his hurting sister/padawan anything so he talks a little bit about home.)

buried alive – Anakin reflects on some things as his Padawan tries to rescue him from the rubble. angst!!!!!!!!!

‘I’m sorry, I didn’t know’ – the Council loses a planet and Obi & Ani get tasked with finding it, but after nine hyperspace jumps and a painful discovery, Obi-Wan teaches his former Padawan one more lesson. (or: the boys talk about failure and feelings when Obi-Wan finds out Anakin's mechno-arm has been causing pain for a couple years)

hallucinations – Ahsoka tries to fix things. it doesn’t work. (post-order 66) angst

‘who are you?’ – Anakin and Ahsoka rescue Obi-Wan, but things aren’t okay and Obi-Wan doesn’t recognise Anakin. (or: Obi is tortured for information about the fall of the Republic before it happens and goes a bit mad bc of it)

‘I didn’t mean it’ – Obi-Wan learns how cold and unfeeling his young Padawan thinks he is and has a rough day. angst

burned – Anakin mourns the loss of his Padawan in a tactile way. Obi-Wan watches. (or: Anakin throws Ahsoka’s Padawan beads into a fire)

‘I wish I have never given you a chance’ – Obi-Wan is reminded of his own incompetence through a vision form his old master.

you have to let me go – Ahsoka has one heirloom: a hologram of her old master as a padawan. but it’s time to let the past go and step into the future, with help from an old friend.

#my fic #maybe I'll go give creative names to some of these prompt request fills someday but #probably not #anyway I definitely should have been doing things other than making this tonight but HERE WE ARE #:)#also at the time of me typing this I have 49 fics listed on here #which is so crazy to me #bc I just started writing in september and if you had told me I would have 50 fics in five months I would have laughed at you #and its so fun and cringey to look back at some of these #its only been a few months but my writing has CHANGED #(hopefully for the better?)#anyway yay! an organised archive!#sw fanfiction

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shinhatigf · 3 years

Text

a little bit insane ahsoka and luke au

the lovely @picazos-angsty-typist inspired me to just post my au ideas as opposed to giving them away, and this one is my absolute favorite! it's an au in which 19 year old ahsoka finds the time travel crystal from the lego star wars christmas special and is transported onto tatooine right before a new hope. then she gets to go along through the original trilogy and be best friends with luke! (this is honestly just an extremely convoluted way to get my favorite characters to be best friends. this au is for me <3.) extremely long elaborations and plot stuff in bullet points under the cut:

okay so 19 year old ahsoka! it would be about 2 years post order 66 and about 6-8 months since the ending of the ahsoka novel, so she's traveling the world and doing fulcrum things, attempting to build a rebellion with bail organa. this, naturally, means she needs to hide from the empire.

because it needs to be life day for the crystal to work, that's the day this all starts (in ahsoka's original timeline). ahsoka finds out randomly that it's life day, and has a moment remembering the day before order 66, before the empire.

she gets into a skirmish with the empire close by kordoku, the planet with the time travel stone on it. she feels a pull from the force, like there's a safe haven on the planet below, so she lands and immediately knows why: she's in front of a jedi temple. she knows she'll be safe inside from the empire. she walks in, and seals the temple with the force

she picks up the weird rock thing in the middle of the room, as it's singing to her through the force. the second she touches it, a wormhole opens up, and she's dropped directly in the middle of a tatooinian sandstorm.

we the audience know that she's time traveled, but ahsoka has no clue. and as I'm assuming she doesn't have much experience wandering ancient abandoned jedi temples (in her time, very recently, they'd been populated and upkept), she wouldn't suspect she was hallucinating. she assumed the rock somehow teleported her, but the sand and the wind of the sandstorm make it impossible for her to find the rock. where before it had been singing to her through the force, she couldn't feel anything now.

she has no choice but to try and find shelter from the storm and wait it out. she finds a sort of cave, a small hideout, so she sets up her small camp. having nothing else to do, she opens herself up to the force to meditate, hoping to locate the rock and find more information about her new situation. however, she instead discovers something she wasn't expecting: the faint and utterly familiar force prescence of one obi-wan kenobi

it feels damaged and weak, almost as if he'd cut himself off from the force somewhat, but there was no denying that it was obi-wan. ahsoka thanked the force for sending her to the rock, as she assumes it had just sent her to obi-wan and nothing else.

during this force meditation, she also discovers the planet that she's on is tatooine. this heavily reminds her of anakin, hearing echoes of their conversation as they crossed the desert from what seems like a million years ago.

once the storm settles, she makes her way through the tatooinian desert, and just as the suns are coming up and she knows she would need to find shelter, she happens upon the Lars farm.

she meets Owen and Beru Lars and their nephew, Luke. they are kind and good people, and do not hesitate to offer ahsoka a place to stay + some food and water. ahsoka rests up somewhat, but insists on helping them in return.

this part I haven't quite nailed out yet. tatooine side quest featuring ahsoka and luke doing whatever one does on a moisture farm. I assume ahsoka would offer technological help as she's a good mechanic (perks of master skywalker) so maybe they're going around and fixing vaporators?

that day and into the night, she and luke really hit it off. she learns more about tatooine and more about how they've been affect by the war. however from the way luke talks about it, the empire has been around as long as he can remember. this strikes ahsoka as extremely odd, and wonders what else is going on, but fixing things doesn't leave much room for another galaxy warping revelation, so she doesn't dwell on it immediately.

she and luke discuss kind of everything. they become buddies bc that's important to me. the next day, she tells them she's looking for obi-wan kenobi. "do you know someone named obi-wan kenobi?" luke does his little "do you think she means old ben kenobi?" number which is fun n nostalgic hehe.

owen seems to freeze. he hasn't heard that name in quite some time, and it doesn't exactly conjure pleasant memories. he reluctantly agrees to let luke point her in the right direction, and she buys a speeder from them (they try to give it to her but she insists on paying. ahsoka ftw)

ahsoka manages to avoid the tuskens on her way into the jundland wastes and runs into.... this really old dude. this is when she really has to confront the time travel of it all. she and obi-wan have a Talk. there's still a little bad blood between them considering obi-wan was on the council that condemned her without remorse or apology, but they're both so relieved to see the other alive.

ahsoka learns that it's been 19 years since order 66, since the empire took over. she remembers the day it happened, what only feels like 2 years ago to her.

she mentions that luke helped her find him, and obi-wan freezes. this obviously gets noticed by ahsoka, and obi-wan drops the real bomb on her: luke is anakin and padmé's son. obi-wan tells her that anakin died in order 66 and padmé died with the rebellion, that he's here both to hide out and to protect luke. she remarks in her head that the whole chosen one thing is ridiculous, that pinning the entire galaxy's hopes on a nineteen year old kid that up until now obi-wan has refused to even CONSIDER training (skywalker trauma lolz) but she can sense the strong emotions from him, that he wouldn't have it in him to stand up to the empire alone, so she drops it.

as to how padmé died: i hate the way that she dies in the prequels so I am deleting it. this is my canon. she actually survives and stays with the rebellion for a good 3-5 years before she's killed in a rebel vs. empire conflict. ahsoka is especially devastated to learn about her death from obi-wan (who bail organa risked communication with to tell him, as he was also close with padmé).

she and obi-wan spar, both to get Ahsoka's mind off of the everything about this situation and because it's been so long since either of them have been around another jedi. it's cathartic for both of them. (ahsoka beats obi-wan easily btw haha)

obi-wan offers to officially knight her as a jedi knight, as that was what the council had intended after the whole fiasco and he says "you're just as experienced and powerful as I was when I was knighted." but ahsoka declines. she isn't ready to be considered a jedi yet, and may never be.

this is when a new hope really starts. obi-wan and ahsoka find luke unconscious in the jundland wastes, and that sequence goes pretty much the same. r2 is beeping and trilling like crazy because ahsoka!!!!!! that's one of his best friends!!!!!!! luke is like "you know this droid?" and ahsoka freezes, because how exactly does she explain to the nice dude she met yesterday that actually she's from 17 years in the past and was very close with both of his parents, who both were extremely close to r2?

she does in fact explain all of that to him when they get to obi-wan's house. she has no idea how she got here or why, but she did know anakin skywalker and padmé amidala naberrie, and tells him as much as she remembers about them. luke misses both of his parents like an ache in his chest, wishing more than anything he could have known them.

obi-wan offers his own perspective on it, and tells how anakin died (which ahsoka is just as eager to know). obi-wan, on the spot, says that another jedi fell to the dark side and joined sidious, and that anakin died defending the temple. (he obviously couldn't say that vader was his pupil, because ahsoka would see through that immediately.)

luke asks why he couldn't have lived with his mother in the rebellion, but obi-wan says that she wanted him to be safe from the galactic conflict and stay with anakin's family. (which is partially true, but the whole sith-sensing-the-overly-powerful-skywalkers was a big factor as well.) obi-wan says he's truly sorry that luke never got to know her.

after learning about the message r2 brought, ahsoka knows she has to get to the rebellion however possible and rejoin the fight. obi-wan agrees, and gives his little elevator pitch to luke about becoming a jedi and joining the rebellion. when obi-wan gives luke the lightsaber, a million memories with anakin flash through ahsoka's head. luke still comes to same conclusion at the end of that conversation: he's willing to guide them out of tatooine, but he can't join the galactic conflict, at least not now.

however, as they're leaving, they find the destroyed jawa crawler. luke, as before, realizes it means the stormtroopers found his family. ahsoka knows that only despair waits there for him, and urges him not to go, but when he doesn't back down hops in the speeder with him (for protection and emotional support).

luke gets to have more emotions about the fact that the empire killed his /entire family./ ahsoka doesn't try and use it to convince him to go, only offers to help him bury them. she openly uses the force to move things around and make things easier, while luke is still in shock, almost numb. they're buried next to shmi and cliegg.

luke is ANGRY at the empire. he is PISSED. he decides to go with them to fight not because he longs for adventure, but because he wants to hit the empire where it hurts. ahsoka can recognize that isn't the thought process of a jedi, but she feels the exact same way after learning about anakin and padmé.

now it's mos eisley time. i feel like han would definitely like/admire ahsoka at first, but ahsoka would not like him. she finds him deplorable and a little annoying, and joins in on the whole bagging on the falcon jokes. this leads to han getting his feelings hurt and he's like fine :( we are not friends then >:(.

the interesting thing is that chewie and ahsoka actually know each other! they were both kidnapped by bossk and hunted for sport in that one clone wars arc, so they're both like "oh hey person who was there for one of the most terrifying and traumatic times in my life! what's up!" they become fast friends yet again, and chewie is like "wow you did not age at all. are you sure you're not a wookiee?"

on the millennium falcon, she and obi-wan get started on luke's training. he asks her about his parents constantly (what they were like, what they did, where they came from, etc). she also talks about what the jedi were like (providing a less rose-colored-glasses perspective, but still with a lot of positives).

she feel the same pain obi-wan does right before they get to alderaan, and can feel bail and breha organa in particular (having known them fairly well after the ahsoka novel).

they get pulled into the death star's tractor beam. ahsoka can feel the cold and horrible presence of vader, a sick dread building in her the closer they get to it. they go to hide under the floorboards of the falcon. han knows how the empire operates better than anyone, which ahsoka is shocked to learn is much different than the Republic or the empire she remembers. (i imagine she lived in a more transitional period, so while the empire was terrible during her time, they were only getting started.)

she tries to go with obi-wan to shut off the power beam, but obi-wan still does his "I must go alone" little number. sensing the end of something, but not what it is, she hugs him goodbye. he's still obi-wan and she missed him dreadfully. he tells her to protect luke.

she along with luke refuses to indulge han's obi-wan slander, and when han says "great at getting us into trouble!" she says "you should have met anakin."

then it's princess rescue time as it should be. that goes exactly the same except ahsoka is much better at defending them from the stormtroopers lol. leia still does the blasting and "somebody has to save our skins!" line because I love that

ahsoka can tell immediately that leia is padmé's daughter. she had probably heard of leia, being in the rebellion for about six months before time traveling, but now having met her it's completely obvious. she doesn't vocalize this immediately though, planning to discuss it with obi-wan.

yes I'm keeping the garbage monster scene because I think it's funny :)

ahsoka goes with han and chewie after the stormtroopers while luke and leia head for the ship. also ahsoka + han banter because I think it's funny

she can see obi-wan and vader's fight (which I'm hoping will be a lot more like their fight in rots. a new hope is incredible but the lightsaber fights got way better as time went on. their final fight deserves to be epic). she tries to run and help obi-wan but luke pulls her back. "he can handle it," he says. "we need you to help us get to the falcon."

however when obi-wan is killed, both of them are distraught. his voice appears in ahsoka's head, telling her not to face vader yet, telling her to run. chewie literally has to hold her back and carry her to the ship.

they blast their way out of the death star, none of them having the time to dwell on what just happened.

ahsoka and luke are both numb. luke lost 3 parental figures in one day, and obi-wan's death after going through order 66 just brings it allll up again. leia is also hanging out in the numb dead parents circle, because her entire planet got blown up today and obi-wan's death just feels like another nail in the coffin. all three of them can sort of feel each other's emotions, and unconsciously they're comforting each other with the force. it's a healing moment for all three of them

han is kind of awkwardly standing in the background. "there wasn't anything any of you could have done," he says, in a rare show of emotion. (i like han wanting to help them despite his i-don't-care-about-anything facade.)

this doesn't stop him from saying he's only in it for the money later though. leia gets to blow up at him about it same as in the movie because she deserves it methinks.

they make it to the rebellion, and a few of the people who've been in it from the beginning recognize her (mon mothma maybe?). I also like the idea of ahsoka being something of rebellion legend, having been one of the last jedi who presumably died fighting the empire for the rebellion.

also general hera syndulla gets to be there bc i love her. she is the one who shows the plans to the pilots and explains the plan. she also references the rogue one crew because i love them also.

ahsoka in an x-wing with the red team attempting to blow up the death star. when vader makes an appearance, she can sense him in the starfighter nearby them, the same cold and evil presence. she personally goes to fight vader and defends the rest of the team from him, somehow falling into a perfect rhythm and anticipating every move. she doesn't kill him obviously, but she gets close. the things that happen stay the same: they sustain heavy casualties, she survives the battle, han comes back to save the day, luke is the one who blows up the death star.

luke, han, chewie, and ahsoka get medals in the end, because each of them were instrumental in the blowing up of the death star (and a lot more pilots survive thanks to Ahsoka's defense). there are references to the phineas and ferb star wars special because I want it.

there's a bit after the official end of a new hope in which she's talking to Luke like "I can't stay. this isn't my timeline. I have to go back. and if I can go back, maybe I can try and save the jedi. maybe I can fix things." however luke changes her mind. "maybe you're in this timeline for a reason. maybe NOW is when you can change things. I would've died without you in the battle of yavin. plus, how am I supposed to become a jedi without you?" luke + leia + han + chewie + r2 + 3po all convince her to stay. they are all very attached to ahsoka at this point, and ahsoka realizes she doesn't really want to leave them either.

also. because the battle is over and they all have a moment to breathe, she tells leia that she's positive she's padmé and anakin's daughter too, not just because of the physical resemblence but also her force sensitivity. there's no doubt about it.

ahsoka agrees to train both of them in what she knows, though she warns that she wasn't a master or even a knight.

it ends with the whole crew hanging out on the falcon (han, leia, luke, chewie, r2, c-3po, and ahsoka)

those are my bullet points for the episode IV section of this! if people want to see where this goes in the rest of the trilogy let me know I have so many notes about this au

also tagging: @togrutanduin @padme--amygdala @bisexualobiwanrights @grimthejedisith @senator-nahberries you get to watch me lose my mind in real time <3

#word count: 3.0k #and this is only the first installment if I ever write this it's going to be so long #the original trilogy #ahsoka tano #luke skywalker #it's loving ahsoka hours #luke is my favorite himbo #my writing #? never used that tag before maybe I should?#ryn dot fic #ryn dot text

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chokemeanakin · 3 years

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Hi, Im a long time reader of yours from Tokyo, I wonder how would Anakin react to the reader having Brugada Syndrome and when he first witnesses a cardiac arrest, The disease causes major arrhythmias

More info!! 👇🏻

Ugh okay so before we get to the heart attack I definitely think Anakin would be like... full on fckn panic mode if you told him you had a heart condition like this.

He would definitely go straight to the library and start researching it and once he sees “dangerous irregular heartbeat” he probably like shoots his eyes to look at you and oh god he looks like he’s gonna murder someone but really he’s just planning on all the ways he’s gonna have to keep you safe from the world now.

THIS MAN IS SO AFRAID THAT THE PEOPLE HE LOVES WILL DIE. So you can bet your ass he’s going way over the top protective mode, especially because this isn’t something he can really control. It’s a part of you.

So he’ll be watching you like a hawk. Always. And when you’re apart, constant checkups through the com, and if you don’t answer he’s getting Rex and Ahsoka and Obi-Wan to call you too... and if you still don’t answer he’s leaving his post and taking a ship straight to you no matter the consequences. And he’ll get a little mad if you say you were just asleep or didn’t see the messages or something, cause you worried him so bad 😠 but really he’s just relieved that you’re alright 😔😯

If he sees you getting dizzy or if your breathing is off or you’re about to faint, he’ll make you sit down no matter where you are, and if theres nowhere to sit for some reason, he’ll just scoop you up and hold you. And if you do faint, holy shit he’s so scared but its happened before so he knows you’ll wake up, but he just keeps you in his arms and rocks you a little bit and reaches out with the force to feel your heartbeat and kind of coaxes you back a little 🥺 and then he’ll get you anything you need, bring you anywhere you want, do anything you want him to in order to recover from it.

If you’ve got an ICD, he’s always using the force to make sure it’s still working okay. He can fix that shit without even lifting a finger bc he’s good with that kind of stuff, and also it saves you a surgery.

And if you take meds, he’s got a copy of your prescription in his belt at all times in case you forget yours. Always reminding you to take them. It can get annoying but it’s just cause he loves you 💖

But cardiac arrest: oh boy. I think at first he might assume youre fainting again or having a seizure, so he tries to catch you if you fall, sets you down on the ground gently, stays by your side. But you’d mentioned something about “it hurting” and that’s never really happened before... and when he goes to check your heartbeat... it’s not there.

And then he’s just white hot panic for a blinding second. Hands hovering over your body, eyes scanning you up and down, not really sure what to do.

But he’s been trained a little bit in what to do like this during his Padawan years, and also he took a class as soon as he found out you had Brugada Syndrome in case anything like this happened.

So he kind of pushes all of his feelings away for a minute, all of his battlefield focus coming to a head, drowning everything out except the task at hand. And he immediately calls for help, an AED, someone get a medic, etc. and he’s doing chest compressions and rescue breaths and he won’t switch with anyone even if they insist he must be tired because he’s really not, and it would take a whole army to rip him away from you now.

And I think for as long as your heart stops, his does too.

And he’s no thoughts, just action, for as long as it takes. Calling on everything he can until you come back. Probably uses the force in more ways than one, going going going until he feels that little “thump, thump, thump” of your heart starting again.

And then he finally lets the medics take you away, but he’s by your side at every step, and holy shit good luck doing anything else without him on your heels after that...

You scare the poor boy every day, but it really does show how much he loves you. He would probably go darkside for you just sayin 🤷🏼‍♀️

#HI TOKYO BTW!!!!#I hope I did this justice 💖#I wasn’t very familiar with it so I did some research #also it reminded me of Give Me Love a little bit!!!#anyway thank you for this anon I hope u have a good day 💖#let’s talk #soft ani thoughts

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janiedean · 4 years

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Just seen a post like "y r reylos upset? they kissed. I have a ship where they don't even meet" and I was ready to go "I Don't Know How To Explain To You That knowingly shipping a crackship and seeing a ship that's been set up since the beginning get turned into some emotionally manipulative little trick by hacks who dgaf abt the characters and only want to cash in on every single part of the fandom are very different things." But I gave up. Not worth the effort.

it’s not, but... honestly?

this thing is... like... I don’t want to say mildly worrying me, but... it is. (beware the next post won’t probably make much sense but bear with me this thing isn’t sitting well with me lmao)

I mean, like, let’s get it out of the way that I didn’t care for reylo either way until tlj and post-tlj I was like ‘oh okay they’re definitely the romance of the trilogy fine sounds nice I’ll be here being happy for them when they inevitably kiss’, because it’s like.. star... wars. I mean. sw is like the one franchise that until five days ago I’d have cashed in on being the ONE thing that would always end up cheesy/hopeful/not disappointing you know, so... I didn’t even consider that there was another way it could end. because it’s goddamn sw, redemption stories with happy endings are the damned brand.

so like... the fact that the thing was obviously set up and they tore it to shreds along with everything else in the movie is bad. like, bad. but people who didn’t realize how fucking insulting it was just... don’t seem to get that the moment you go watch movies whose brand is making you feel better about things and they turn into calvinism central NO HAPPINESS ALLOWED and they don’t even do it with sense - bc rots made no fucking sense at any point ever and that’s outside reylo - it just... makes you feel betrayed? like, again: in 2015 when I came out of the cinema the only thing I banked on was poe dameron not dying and I couldn’t care either way about kylo ren, but like - tlj made me care. as it was supposed to be. I was supposed to care about kylo ren’s pull to the light and guess what I did because that movie wanted me to, and it wanted me to do 2+2 and realize that he and rey were soulmates and fine I was down with that because I like myself a nice love story.

and then like... you give it to me, like that, and the moment you have the character who has had a shitty life, has been groomed since he was born if not before by Worst Person In The Galaxy if the new canon wants me to buy that - or by snoke but it’s the same -, is an abuse victim and is 100% sure that everyone hates him and no one understands him or wants to understand him, you make that character related to one of the most iconic ones in the franchise to the point that you tried to make han every other member of the trio tbh, you actually have that character taking his life in his hands after talking to han and like embrace what he always wanted to be and show that he’s actually happy with it (like ffs guys it’s also probs because adam driver is an excellent actor but you can see the ben solo vs kylo ren difference in the span of five seconds, and you’re supposed to root for ben solo to win ffs), have him actually win, have him being happy for the first time in the entire canon and then you kill him a second later with rey in tears over it except that then we forget to give him a funeral........... like.......... sorry but I feel robbed because as lowkey as my effort on banking on ben solo’s redemption was because I was sure it was coming and I took it for granted it still felt like they were being unnecessarily cruel. like, they could have killed him in ten other ways that wouldn’t make you feel like someone stabbed you in the kidney as another anon put it. but no, let’s give people the prospect of HEY THEY’LL BE HAPPY just to tear it away from them ten seconds later. like, what the fuck? that’s not what anyone signed up for.

especially when the entire thing was obviously set up for the happy ending. like, if you actually misread the audience so much that you think star wars audience wants grimdark when it’s a movie marketed at children then you don’t deserve the money you’re most likely getting paid.

like, again: as someone who wasn’t even diehard reylo or whatever even if I absolutely shipped it, I felt like these assholes took my money and punched me in the kidney since rey palpatine was a thing and the moment he died I about screamed fuck you out loud... along with most of the entire room which was screaming fuck you, because guess what, not a single person in that room actually was banking on the ben solo redemption to fail and each single person in the room was clapping when they kissed because we were fucking waiting for it already, and like......... obviously ppl shipping it are upset. they were given an unsatisfactory movie up until then that didn’t give the characters justice but which could have still been more or less decent if it saved the spirit of the entire thing... which it didn’t because sw is not fucking calvinist central and hasn’t ever been until now. and then they were given canon after being the target of the vilest shit (guys seriously I unfollowed antireylo people way before shipping reylo myself bc that crap was out of line for shipping fictional stuff)... just to have them take it away by killing the one character that was there to show you that there’s always hope for you to do the right thing?

like, let’s be fucking real: the message is that if you fucked up and want to be better it won’t ever be enough because sorry but you’ll never get another good start and if you care about someone who fucked up and want to help them be better it’s wasted time because people who want to do better can’t actually live and have a chance to keep on doing it.

and sorry but fuck that message with a chainsaw. the beautiful thing about this ship imvho was that in tlj it made it overtly clear how rey helped him out of being a genuinely nice person who listened to someone who thought no one ever would and at the same time kylo/ben couldn’t believe that someone actually said that he wouldn’t be alone either bc the two of them are extremely lonely people and feel that acutely....... and they even threw in the soul bond to make it extra obvious. it was a hopeful story because you had girl who never had anyone who was also innately good who could put her prejudices aside to see that someone who also went dark side because he thought no one loved him and then kept on being abused his entire life actually had good inside them and wanted to help him see that instead of writing him off as a lost cause. like. that was a good romance. nothing exceedingly new under the sun, but in sw it was pretty fresh and a good spin compared to the two other main love stories of the trilogy. also, anakin/padme was what it was and han/leia was immensely better but hey someone decided to kill off the entire original trio so whatever... and if these two ended well they’d have been a constant improvement, never mind the symbolism - you had anakin who was a no one and married a space princess but ended up tragically because he went to the dark side and she could do nothing for him, then anakin’s daughter who was a space princess and married han who is also technically a no one since he didn’t even have a surname on his home planet, and if rey/ben had actually not.. had that ending you’d have closed the circle with space prince descended from both anakin and leia being brought back from the dark side with the help of another no one and finally the damned skywalker line would have gotten one 100% happy ending because it was supposed to be the ending.

like.

that’s something that thematically made so much sense I didn’t even think they wouldn’t do it.

and they did. and guess what of course people are pissed. because this movie about ignored themes, its own canon (from tfa and tlj) and didn’t accomplish one single thing except chewie getting his damned medal.

which, while something we all hoped would happen at some point, is hardly the one thing you should accomplish in a star wars movie supposed to end the goddamned cycle and which eventually ended up being prequel-level if not worse. because I mean, objectively I think the phantom menace was actually a better movie, and I would rewatch this over 2 and 3 just because the cgi in this movie didn’t hurt my eyes, but as bad as lucas got with the prequels, he never did a single character as dirty as disney did all the characters here. no, not even padme, and he did do padme dirty.

tldr: if people don’t get why you’d be pissed at how this movie ended idk what to tell them... but shit if it’s not worrying me that people apparently can’t get that it was a disaster on each single level it could have been. peace.

#reylo #ben solo #rey #tros spoilers for ts #janie writes meta #i guess #otp: you're not alone; neither are you #i... don't even know waht i'm saying here but i'm angry haha #star wars for ts #sw negativity #Anonymous #ask post

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amorremanet · 7 years

Note

Star Wars, the trilogy of ur choice for the ask meme!

I am indecisive as Hell and couldn’t pick and as such just did all three of them, ooops?

original trilogy

my all-time ultimate fave character: um. I have loved Darth Vader since I was five and decided that he was my husband now and this meant that he was going to hold my stuff while I ran the galaxy and also buy me a puppy, because my parents wouldn’t let me have one but he’s the head of an evil empire, so I assumed that he had enough credits to buy me a puppy. Anyway, my answer hasn’t changed. He’s garbage and I love him.

a character I didn’t used to like but now do: Lando is a sort of complicated answer, because it was never that I disliked him?

But when I was younger, I bought into all of the nonsense about him, “betraying” Han, Leia, and Chewie (which is ridiculous, because: 1. he was trying to save his entire city,

and 2. Vader turned the tables on Lando and sprung a bunch of shit on him that Lando cannot be held responsible for, because Vader is the one who made it an issue and it’s not like Lando didn’t read the fine print because there was no fine print for him to read)

—and yeah, basically, I never disliked him, but have come to appreciate Lando more.

a character I used to like but now don’t: …well, it isn’t that I dislike Yoda or Obi-Wan (though the latter benefits from the prequel trilogy a lot here, since Ewan McGregor kinda saved the character from the gigantic dumpster fire of GLucas’s bullshit retcons and Alec Guinness being a huge tool), but when I was a kid, I took everything they said at face-value and have since learned that both of them are totally bullshit unreliable narrators, at best.

a character I’m indifferent about: idk, the Emperor, probably. Like, my biggest feelings about him in the OT are, “Excuse me, you’re in my seat. Trophy husband, please be a hunny and murder him for me so I can get back to my ridiculous power-fantasy daydream of being an overpowered evil overlord with no chill and an OTT evil laugh like a bad girl in a late 90’s anime.”

a character who deserved better: Lando Calrissian, full stop.

a ship I’ve never been able to get into: uh. ……pass?

a ship I’ve never been able to get over: Han/Leia remains one of the only m/f ships worth caring about, for me, but ijs, Han/Luke is good, too.

a cute, low-key ship: Luke/Wedge, Luke/Lando, or Luke/Biggs.

an unpopular ship but I still enjoyed it: Han/Lando (it’s not unpopular in my particular corner of tumblr but for most people out there, it’s Not A Thing that they can see happening). ……but come on, they act like exes! If they aren’t secretly married (probably under questionable circumstances, for pretty ridiculous reasons) in at least two star systems, I’ll shave Jean-Ralphio’s head.

a ship that was totally wrong and never should have happened: —technically, my answer never did. But when ROTS came out back in 2005, there was a commemorative issue of Rolling Stone that I stole from my Dad because it had a special feature about Darth Vader, and in it, Kevin Smith proposed the idea of Vader/Leia (which he apparently kiddie LARPed with a girl he liked before they knew that Vader is her bio-father), and…… ew, Kevin Smith, what the fuck. Like, even without the parental incest factor, ewww.

my favourite storyline/moment: if it happened in Empire, I will probably never be over it because I am a human cliche and Empire is my favorite (but in my defense: it was not written by George Lucas, and that has a lot to do with why it is noticeably better-written than the other two OT movies). If I had to choose? “I love you” / “I know,” or the final confrontation between Luke and Vader.

Because I am a human cliche, that’s why. …Also, fun fact: when they originally shot the Infamous Scene, the big reveal about Luke’s parentage was kept so under-wraps that even David Prowse (the guy who physically portrayed Vader) thought that the twist was that Obi-Wan killed Anakin.

a storyline that never should have been written: Okay, it isn’t that I object to how the parentage twist meant that GLucas had baited sibling incest with Luke/Leia. What I object to is that GLucas acts like this was intentional, and wants to erase and retcon real-world history (there’s a whole book about it, documenting what actually happened and how GLucas tried to retcon reality), all to make himself look like a genius Auteur™ when, actually he is a fucking hack who stole the credit for the movies’ success from the actual creative people involved.

my first thoughts on it: “pew pew pew, i love star wars, i want a lightsaber, i want to rule the galaxy, pew pew”

my thoughts now: “pew pew pew, i love star wars, i shouldn’t be allowed to have a lightsaber at all bc i would totally mishandle it, fuck george lucas with barbed wire, pew pew”

prequel trilogy

my all-time ultimate fave character: *points above* …like, I have never had it in me to hate the prequel trilogy — the closest that I got to it was, “Okay, it’s not the OT, and it’s kind of silly, but it’s not bad” — and I could never hate it because it’s primarily about Anakin Skywalker, and that’s my trophy husband. He’s space trash and I love him.

I also never hated Hayden Christensen. Like, most of my friends in high school did, but I loved him, and I said things like, “Maybe he’s not the greatest actor but he’s not exactly working with a great script here” but that was the worst he ever got from me (and if I’d known then just how shitty a director GLucas actually is to the actors in his flicks, I would’ve been even more generous).

He was definitely one of the guys who I “had crushes” on, back when I was still trying to convince myself that I wasn’t into girls at all, and all of the lingering fondness for him was a huge part of my, “okay, but were any of my crushes on dudes legit or was there a lot of compulsory heterosexuality that I didn’t get because I was a teenager with homophobic parents who went to a high school where we couldn’t even talk about the homophobia that went on because everybody wanted to think that we didn’t have a problem with it just because nobody got, like, physically assaulted or anything that we assumed happened at other high schools in the area, regardless of how we had almost no evidence one way or the other”

……In retrospect, a lot of the, “crush” that I had on Hayden was that he was a soft-featured pretty boy who was, “like… almost pretty enough to be a girl” (—all I have to say for myself is that I was an ignorant teenager), and I found him attractive because he was: 1. soft and pretty; 2. playing my favorite space trashcan; and 3. hella famous and therefore unavailable

anyway, I love Anakin and…… well.

a character I didn’t used to like but now do: …uh. I have no idea?? The closest I get here is that I went from not caring about Palpatine in the OT to thinking he’s actually an interesting and well-done villain in the PT.

a character I used to like but now don’t: can I pass on this one, too? I don’t have a lot of characters like this in any of the Star Wars movies tbh???

a character I’m indifferent about: Count Dooku (the late Christopher Lee was always amazing but Count Dooku just… really doesn’t interest me as a character), and General Grievous.

a character who deserved better: Padmé Amidala, Mace Windu, and I want to say Anakin, but not in the same way as Mace and Pamdé (who got the shit kicked out of them unfairly and got robbed of some of the moments that they deserved).

Where Anakin deserved better is in how the narrative handled his fall and the issues of agency, responsibility, how he was manipulated and how it affected his ability to be held responsible vs. all of the ways in which he was responsible for his actions and where, how spending his formative years as a slave affected everything, the ways in which the fucking Jedi Order was also culpable for some of this and how their approach to literally everything is emotionally unhealthy, and so on.

Because GLucas handled all of those issues with the grace and tact of a drunk rhinoceros. Which I feel is an incredible insult to both alcohol and rhinoceroses.

a ship I’ve never been able to get into: any Qui-Gon ship that isn’t Mace/Qui-Gon, and I will fully admit that that is just my headcanon and my feels of, “Oooh, that could be cool.”

a ship I’ve never been able to get over: Anakin/Obi-Wan and Anakin/Padmé because I am a human cliché.

a cute, low-key ship: Obi-Wan/Dexx (or however you spell the name of his smuggler friend from AOTC).

an unpopular ship but I still enjoyed it: well, these days, Anakin/Obi-Wan and Anakin/Padmé are apparently on the Shipae Non Gratae list in this fandom, to the point that people who ship them will get harassed, dehumanized, bullied, and suicide-baited for shipping them, all because a small but vocal contingent of assholes don’t like them and want to enforce their own ideas about the morality or lack thereof of whatever ships they like or not on everyone — but they weren’t unpopular until very recently, so

otherwise, basically all Mace Windu ships are unpopular by default but come on, Mace/Qui-Gon and Mace/Obi-Wan would be cool

a ship that was totally wrong and never should have happened: uh. Padmé/death, Mace/death, and Star Wars Fandom/suicide baiting people over ships when they’re doing everything that they can reasonably be expected to do in terms of tagging responsibly and respecting their fellow fans.

my favourite storyline/moment: I’m sorry but actually not, but… I love ROTS, and I love the game of torturing myself by watching it like, “Maybe Anakin won’t make all the wrong choices this time. Maybe if I lovingly yell at him loudly enough, he won’t break my heart.”

Also, fuck everyone, his, “I don’t like sand” thing is endearingly doofy, and I can’t flirt any better than that so it is not unrealistic (not least since he hasn’t exactly grown up or come of age in an environment that’s conducive to developing decent social skills or learning the social scripts that one uses when doing things like flirting without saying, “I don’t like sand, but you are very not like sand, and I appreciate that you are dissimilar from sand because sand sucks”)

—I mean, I’m not saying that Luke Skywalker: actual gay space autistic has a father who is also an actual space autistic? ……But, see, I’m totally saying that, and that I also believe the borderline!Anakin headcanon that I’ve seen around

a storyline that never should have been written: idk, I just want my space babies to be happy

my first thoughts on it: “…pew pew pew, i know it’s not the OT but it’s still fun can everybody like stop hating on it, wouldn’t it be more fun to LIKE things, i love star wars, pew pew”

my thoughts now: “pew pew pew, fuck everybody, the entire prequel trilogy deserves better than it got and fuck george lucas especially, but also fuck the jedi order what the fuck, that life isn’t healthy, fuck the haters i love the prequels, i love star wars, pew pew”

new trilogy, inasmuch as i can say with only one movie (since rogue one isn’t in the trilogy and i still haven’t seen it):

my all-time ultimate fave character: Finn or Poe or Rey, it depends on how I feel at any given moment

a character I didn’t used to like but now do: *shrugs*

a character I used to like but now don’t: Well, it’s not that I outright dislike KyBen, but I was so excited for him when the first trailer came out, with his lightsaber that looked so cool, and him being all, “*aggressively fanboys Darth Vader*” — and then we got the actual canon, and like? It’s impossible for me to completely hate him when he’s so fun to make fun of, and he loves his grandfather almost half as much as I do? But…… wow, have you ever met someone who is like a letdown in human form? Because I have and his name is Kylo Ren.

I will say, he is moderately less of a letdown in the novelization of the movie (though I haven’t gotten a copy of the YA novelization and there are apparently some major differences between that one and the “adult” novelization), but: 1. only moderately; and 2. he is even more over-the-top ridiculous and dramatic and kind of asinine in the book. Less of a letdown for various reasons, but still.

a character I’m indifferent about: Phasma, I guess. Like, I am certified lady villains garbage, but she doesn’t really DO anything? She has no discernible personality beyond being the token girl with KyBen and the Annoying Fascist Space Ginger, which could actually be a cool thing — I mean, Gwen Christie is a tall, white, blonde, and physically intimidating as fuck, and it would be super interesting to use Phasma as a Star Wars style reflection of the white women who get involved in the real world movements that inspired the First Order — but?? So far, all she’s done is be an abusive shit to Finn and get shoved in a trash compactor.

a character who deserved better: #Protect Finn Stormbreaker At All Costs.

a ship I’ve never been able to get into: Phasma/anybody — like, I know it’s usually misogynistic to say, “she has no personality” about a lady character…… but Phasma genuinely has no personality, so far, because she has done a grand total of bugger all in actual facts canon.

a ship I’ve never been able to get over: …I feel like it’s too early to say this because this trilogy isn’t even fully out there, yet? But solely in the sense of, “this is my favorite”… Finn/Poe/Rey, because it means that I don’t have to choose between Finn/Poe or Finn/Rey when both of them are so good.

a cute, low-key ship: I am literally only putting Rey/Rose and Rey/Jessika here because we know nothing about Rose yet, aside from how she works in maintenance with the Resistance and is adorable, and I love Rey/Jess, but it’s objective fact that Finn/Rey has more to work with, because Finn is a major character and Jess isn’t.

an unpopular ship but I still enjoyed it: eta: okay, I forgot to do this one, because all I could think of was, “idk I’ve read some Ky*lux fic that didn’t suck because I wanted one of my kinks satisfied and I wanted Star Wars and the only game in town was Ky*lux so I read it, and… eh, it didn’t suck?” — but Ky*lux is objectively not unpopular (it’s unwelcome among some fans and that’s their prerogative but the numbers don’t lie and they say that it’s not unpopular), so idk

Also, the nicest thing I could say is, “those fics didn’t suck” but in fairness that’s probably less a function of them being Ky*lux and more a function of how they’re for one of my kinks, and the writing that exists for said kink is largely pretty…… Not Good.

a ship that was totally wrong and never should have happened: I’m waiting for the reveal that Rey and Kylo are cousins or something, because I’m expecting it to happen, and then a lot of the people who ship it, “because Kylo is totally better than Finn because of reasons that have nothing to do with racism because the shippers said so” will jump ship and I will go, “I told you so, did you not pay attention to Luke and Leia or what.”

Note: I am specifically only talking about that particular kind of Rey*lo shipper, because in fairness, there are plenty of people who ship it in ways where they don’t actually want Rey and Kylo to be together, and in ways where they don’t bash Finn, and yes, it’s a pretty fucked up ship, but there are people who ship it in fucked up ways and tag all their shit responsibly, and I will have nothing to, “I told you so” about at them, in the event that Rey*lo gets jossed by them being blood relatives.

my favourite storyline/moment: the one where KyBen is all, “*ACCIO GRANDPA’S LIGHTSABER*” and Finn is all, “NOT TODAY JACKASS” and then Kylo tries it again and the lightsaber is all, “NO I LIKE REY BETTER” and the theme music swells and FUCK IT YESSSSS

a storyline that never should have been written: … *shrugs*? the trilogy is still being played out, we don’t have a lot to work with here yet

my first thoughts on it: “pew pew pew, i love star wars, i love the theories that kylo ren is actually jacen solo, zoom zoom fights in space and flying in space, whoosh whoosh shiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnng lightsaber noises, i love star wars, pew pew”

my thoughts now: “pew pew pew, i love star wars, lmao i am so glad that kylo ren is not jacen solo, jacen sweetie i am so sorry that i ever wanted that you deserve so much better, finn and rey and poe and rose and jess should all be happy and like adopt a puppy, also luke is gay now because fuck george lucas, i am so proud of my gay autistic space son and how he now wants the jedi to end because he has realized that the only way for the force to have balance is if there are NO jedi and NO sith, whoosh whoosh shhhhiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnng lightsaber noises

“like seriously how has it taken this long for this idea to make it to the main canon (since lbr most people don’t know jack about the EU or KOTOR or anything), i mean wow it is almost like the jedi and the sith are both totally fucked up beyond all hopes of salvaging either faction not least because having either faction in the first place makes humans more likely to fuck up everything with the force because people suck, WHOOSH WHOOSH SHIIIIINNNNNNNG MAKES SAID LIGHTSABER NOISES EVEN MORE LOUDLY TO PISS OFF GEORGE LUCAS AND HE CAN’T DO SHIT TO STOP ME BECAUSE HE DOESN’T OWN THE EXCLUSIVE RIGHTS TO THE UNIVERSE ANYMORE HA HA FUCKEDDY HA HA HA, #KreiaWasRight #TotallyVindicated, i can’t believe that rey and luke are going to be queer autistic space icons together #blessed

“i love star wars, pew pew pew”

#sikenesque #memes for ts #mine: asks #ask box tag #opinions for ts #star wars #longish post//#mine: star wars

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