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luvangelbreak · 3 months

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Deprived | Five

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 matthew sturniolo x layla venita (female!oc) summary: everyone knows the story of the bad boy and the good girl but what happens when the school's most popular boy, Matthew Sturniolo, and the girl who notoriously is never there, Layla Venita, cross paths. warnings: swearing, smoking (cigarettes), mentions of drugs (weed) word count: 3.3k a/n: the italics are a flashback to allie and layla in their gym class btw! love you guys <3

pov: layla

I decided to stay home from school for the rest of the week, I just didn't have the energy to endure the looks people would give me. The whispering during my last two subjects after Matt and I came back at lunch was already too much and it was worse in gym when Allie stuck to her word and paired up with me.

She seemed nice, much nicer than Mia was to me. She talked my ear off the whole lesson but I didn't mind because then I didn't have to talk.

"Don't worry about Mia, by the way. She can be really bitchy at times but she just doesn't like change. I promise she is usually a lot nicer," Allie rambled as we walked around the gym as a warm-up, "It was kinda funny though. No one ever really stands up to her when she gets bitchy because everyone's scared that her dad will arrest them."

Oh, I've met her dad.

"Matt also stood up for you after you left. I trust Matt's opinion on people, he's kinda my scapegoat when it comes to talking to people. I told him to start talking to you like three weeks ago so I could ask you to hang out. I just get nervous talking to people I don't know sometimes."

You don't seem nervous now, motor mouth.

"Sorry if I'm rambling a lot. I'm just really glad you decided to pair up with me because I've been paired with Mia for like the past 2 years. It's nice to have a new friend. It's not like I don't like my friends but Mia is my only girl friend and the guys are such guys sometimes it drives me mad. You get your nails done?"

I shook my head no before she continued, "We should go get our nails done sometime. My shout of course, I'm not gonna force you to get your nails done as well as make you pay."

She was a ray of sunshine and I was sure people were confused as someone as sweet as her was talking to someone like me who looked like they had a constant rain cloud over their head. I found myself amused by her rambling and I decided that it wouldn't be the worst thing to talk to her every now and then.

I spent the rest of my week smoking weed when my father wasn't home and drawing on the last few pages of my sketchbook. The time passed quickly considering I slept for most of the days. Suddenly it was Friday afternoon and I heard a knock at my front door.

I paused my music, frowning when I looked at the clock to see it was 3:30. It was far too early for my dad to be home so I grabbed the metal bat that was lying on the bottom of my underwear drawer, sneaking towards the door silently. Another round of light knocks were placed on the door and I crept up to it before looking through the peephole.

My tense shoulders slumped as I looked at two people with the same face and their familiar brown hair. I unlocked the deadbolt on the door as well as the regular lock before I swung the door open.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, leaning my left hand on the handle of the bat now that the other end was placed on the floor.

"Hi to you too," Chris mumbled as he looked side to side, clearly tense to be in South End as Matt smiled at me.

"I figured you would forget about the game. Decided to come earlier in case you were ready which..." he looked down at my outfit which was my small sleep shorts and an old ratty t-shirt, "I don't think you are?"

"You didn't say it was this Friday!" I frowned and Chris looked down at the bat I was leaning on before shaking his head.

"Good thing I came early then," Matt smirked at me and I chewed at my lip. I tapped the bat on the ground as I thought making Chris look at me again.

"Calm down. I'm not gonna use it on you," I deadpanned to Chris and he just shrugged, looking back out at the street. I felt a nervousness in my chest because they were at my house but I knew if they stayed on the porch or in their car, someone would try something. So I reluctantly said, "Come in."

"We can wait in the ca-"

I cut off Matt quickly, "Get inside now." They looked at each other in surprise before shuffling past me and I closed the door behind them before saying, "Do you have anything valuable in your car? Phone, wallet, laptop?"

They both shook their heads and I locked both of the locks on the door before I spun around to face them again.

"Why?" Chris asked and I tilted my head, giving him an unimpressed look.

"I'll just say you're lucky you drive a fucking soccer mom car or it would be broken into within 15 minutes," I answered blandly and they seemed somewhat shocked but didn't talk, "Come on."

I walked down the hall towards my room, slipping inside and they followed shortly behind me.

"We could've waited on the couch," Matt said as I closed the door of my bedroom and raised my eyebrows.

"If my dad came home and you were sitting on the couch, say goodbye to hockey for the rest of your life," I replied dryly and he pursed his lips, "If he comes home, you will just have to go out my window and jump the fence around the side of the house."

"You don't know when he's coming home?" Chris asked as he leaned against the wall beside my mattress and I shook my head. I was suddenly very conscious that I had the two most loved boys in our school standing in my dirty bedroom. I looked around my room, realising that I looked like I lived in a trap house with my mattress on the floor, empty beer bottles in the corner of my room with cigarettes stuck in them and clothes all over the floor.

"Sorry about the mess. No one ever comes over," I mumbled as I moved a couple clothes off of my mattress, "Sit wherever. Just don't look over here because I'm gonna get changed."

I travelled to the corner of my room where my chest of drawers sat and I saw them both turn to face away from me quickly. After placing the bat beside the drawers, I pulled out black baggy jeans, took off my shorts quickly and slid them on. I then took off my old T-shirt and slid on a baby blue hoodie. I didn't bother putting on a shirt since it would be cold at the game and I wouldn't have to take my hoodie off at any point.

"I'm dressed," I let them know as I grabbed my boots off of the floor, sitting down next to my dresser so I could slide them on easily. I looked up to see both of them sitting on my mattress, looking around my room. Their expressions were unreadable as they looked around my room.

"I like your posters," Chris spoke up and I looked to the wall above my mattress where my Bob Marley, Frank Ocean and Kurt Cobain posters were hung.

"Thanks," I answered, a half-hearted smile being sent his way which he reciprocated, "When do we have to leave by?"

"Four," Matt answered and I nodded, checking the time to see it was 3:40. I hopped off of the floor, walked over to my desk and sat down on the old desk chair.

I scribbled some eyeliner on my eyes before smudging it with my finger and then putting mascara on. I grabbed my lip balm, placing it on my lips before I ran a hand through my curly hair. I grabbed the white beanie that was thrown onto the floor, sliding it onto my head. I jumped up from the seat, grabbed my leather jacket that was hanging over the back of the chair and slid it on.

"Do I need to bring anything?" I asked, having no clue what else to bring to a hockey game.

"Just your team spirit," Chris cheered sarcastically and I tilted my head with an amused look on my face.

"I'm not a cheerleader for a reason," I answered and he shrugged, a small smile on his lips.

"Doesn't mean you shouldn't cheer when we win," he retorted and I nodded in agreement.

"I'm good as long as I'm not expected to start screaming 'Go Bats go!' like an idiot," I did a small jump when I said the slogan that I heard all the cheerleaders say proudly and Matt laughed in response as Chris shook his head with a smile.

"You wanna get food on the way?" Matt asked and I shook my head in response.

"I'm good, I just ate," I explained and he nodded, quickly checking his phone.

"We should probably go," he said, turning his phone to me to see that it was 3:55. I couldn't believe another 15 minutes had passed so quickly but I nodded. Making sure I had my phone, cigarettes, lighter and keys in my pocket, I swung the bedroom door open as Matt and Chris followed behind me. I unlocked the front door swinging it open and motioning for Chris and Matt to go outside.

They walked past me and walked to their car as I turned around to lock the door with my keys. After triple-checking the door, I wandered down the driveway to the minivan. I noticed that Matt was always the one to drive and Chris was seated in the passenger seat, phone already plugged into the aux.

I slid the back door open, jumping inside before I closed the door behind me. As I buckled myself in, Matt started the car and Chris played a song by Lil Skies.

"We good?" Matt asked, looking at me in the rearview mirror and I nodded before he spun around to look at me, "I didn't even have to remind you about your seatbelt, so proud."

"Start driving before I change my mind and go back to the comfort of my bed," I smiled slightly and he beamed back at me before he spun around and we took off down the street.

Within 5 minutes, we were in the parking lot and Chris was wriggling his body along to the beat of the next Lil Skies song. I could take a wild guess as to who his favourite artist is.

Matt turned the music down, earning a glare from Chris but he turned around to look at me ignoring his brother for a moment, "You waiting in the car or coming in?"

"I'm gonna have a smoke first then I'll come in," I explained and he nodded before turning off the car.

"You head in. I'll be there in a sec," Matt told Chris who was clicking away on his phone. With a nod, he jumped out of the car and walked around to the back of the car.

"You want me to take your shit inside?" Chris called from the trunk as I turned around to see Chris lugging his huge duffle bag full of hockey shit.

"Nah I got it," Matt called back to him and Chris raised his eyebrows as he leaned into the trunk again.

"Don't start fuckin in the car or I swear to god," he deadpanned before slamming the trunk closed and I saw him start walking towards the building.

"Sorry about him," Matt mumbled apologetically and I shrugged as I turned to face him.

"It's fine. Wouldn't expect anything less," I told him with an amused smirk making him shake his head, a smile creeping onto his lips, "Are you gonna go inside?"

"I'll wait for you to finish and then I'll show you where to sit inside," he explained and I nodded before hopping out of the car. I closed the door behind me before leaning against the car, pulling out a cigarette and placing it between my lips before lighting it. I heard Matt's door open and close before he rounded the car to get to the trunk.

As I began smoking my cigarette, a car pulled into the space next to Matt's and a few moments passed before Nate and Allie appeared out of the car.

"Hey! Matt told me you were coming," Allie beamed at me and I observed her outfit, feeling strange to see her out of her usual cheer or gym attire. Instead, she had blue jeans, a black puffer jacket with a blue beanie on and black and white vans.

"He failed to mention the game was this Friday," I told her and she rolled her eyes as Nate waved at me. I sent him a wave back with the hand that held my cigarette before I took another puff.

"Is Nick coming?" Nate asked and Matt appeared beside me, duffle bag over his shoulder.

"Nah. He said something about doing homework tonight. Chris is already inside," Matt explained with a shrug as Nate rounded the back of his car and popped the trunk open, grabbing a duffle bag of his own hockey gear.

"You coming in?" Allie asked me and I held the cigarette up.

"When I finish this," I told her, a smile tugging at my lips at her beaming personality.

"See you guys in there!" Nate called as he started walking towards the building with Allie following behind him.

"Is Miss Cheer herself coming?" I asked Matt once Allie and Nate were out of earshot and he shrugged, moving to stand in front of me as he adjusted the bag on his shoulder.

"No clue. She usually shows up late if she comes though," he told me honestly and I nodded, noticing my cigarette almost being done. I quickly finished it before dropping it onto the ground and squishing it underneath my foot. I went to push away from the car but Matt stopped me by saying, "Hold up."

"What?" I asked, confusion written on my face. He held his hand up before he dropped his duffle bag to the ground and squatted down to rummage through one of the smaller pockets.

He pulled out a small pot of black face paint and a brush before standing back up, "Move your hair."

"What are you doing?" I squinted at him as he opened the pot of black face paint and he smiled at me.

"Just trust me," he shrugged and I squinted my eyes at him for a moment before I tucked my hair behind my ears. I tilted my head back as I peered up at him and he dipped the brush into the pot before he started painting my right cheek.

"If you're drawing a dick on my face I'll kill you with my bare hands, Matthew," I mumbled, trying not to move my mouth much as his tongue poked out between his lips in concentration.

"If I was gonna do that..." he trailed off before leaning back with a smile, "I'd use a sharpie."

"What did you do?" I asked and he just shrugged as he closed the pot again, sliding it back into his bag before swinging it over his shoulder again. I slipped my phone out of my pocket, opening the front camera to see he had painted the number 81 on my cheek, "What does this mean?"

"You'll see," he shrugged with a smirk and I frowned as he started to walk backwards before he tilted his head towards the building, "Come on. I gotta warm up."

I pushed away from the car, trailing behind him as we walked towards the entrance. He swung the door open, standing behind it as he let me walk in first. We walked through the front area, some of his teammates being gathered around to grab snacks or energy drinks.

"Matty B!" one of the guys called who I recognised as Daniel and he jogged over to us as Matt paused, dapping him up quickly, "Who's this?"

"Layla, Daniel. Daniel, Layla," Matt introduced us and I just nodded at Daniel, not surprised that he didn't know my name.

"No Mia?" he asked Matt and Matt just shrugged in response.

"She's being weird. I don't know dude," Matt answered before he looked towards the rest of their team, "You guys gotta hurry up. We have 45 to warm up."

"Sir, yes, sir," Daniel sent Matt a salute before he started walking backwards and looked at me, "Nice to meet you, princess."

I sent him another nod before Matt started walking towards the doors of the rink, "Ignore Dan. He'll try to fuck anything with legs."

"Don't worry, Captain. I don't do goalies," I smirked and he chuckled in response, holding the door open to the rink for me to enter first again. I walked in, the cold air hitting my cheeks making me shiver.

"Layla!" I heard Allie's chirpy voice call out from the bleachers and I looked to my left to see her sitting front and centre, I sent her a small wave as I started to walk over to her with Matt following behind me.

"I gotta go get ready but are you good to sit with Allie?" Matt asked me and I turned my head to look at him now that he was on my right and I nodded.

"Yeah. Go make sure your hair is nice before you play," I joked as he rolled his eyes, pushing my shoulder slightly before spinning around to walk backwards while I paused at the steps that led up to where Allie was seated, "Break a leg, pretty boy."

"Thanks, pretty girl," he smirked at me and I bit my lip to hide my smile as he spun back around and walked into the locker room at the end of the rink. I shook my head to get rid of my smile as I walked up a few steps before sitting down next to Allie.

She smirked at me and I gave her a confused expression, "What?"

"Nothing," she hummed, her smirk turning into a smile as she looked out onto the ice. She pulled a packet of Sour Patch Kids out from her small handbag that I hadn't even noticed before she pulled open the packet, "You want one?"

"Sure," I shrugged, picking out a couple before throwing them into my mouth and her actions followed mine.

"So you and Matt..." she trailed off and I looked back at her as she smiled at me.

"Me and Matt?" I questioned, waiting for her to continue.

"You guys are cute," she shrugged, a genuine joy spread across her face and I let my mouth fall open.

"Uh... I don't even know if we're friends let alone anything else," I told her honestly and she rolled her eyes playfully before she hummed.

"Matt doesn't talk to just anyone. If he's asking you to come to his games clearly he wants you around," she told me as if it were obvious and I shrugged as I chewed on my lip. A few players from the other team skated onto the ice with their full gear, doing laps around the ice lazily.

"I don't think Chris and Nick like me though. His brothers' opinions probably mean a lot to him," I answered, looking at the players skating in circles. A couple players from Matt's team slid onto the ice as they started doing the same as the opposition.

"Chris is just focused on other shit. Nick tends to stick to himself a lot so just give them both time," she tried to reassure me and I looked back to her before she continued, "Besides, I like you so they're not getting rid of you that easily while I'm around."

"What about Mia?" I asked, genuinely curious as to how heavily Mia's opinion influenced her friends.

Allie sighed as she looked out at the rink, "Mia will figure it out. I don't know why she's being so weird about it. I think it's because she's protective over us."

"Matt's the one that came to me. I don't know why she was acting like I'm tryna break up your entire friend group," I mumbled as I looked out onto the ice to see a couple more players.

Only then did I realise that number 81 with a small C on the chest of his blue and white jersey was skating around the rink and it was none other than Matthew Sturniolo.

#matt sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #matthew bernard sturniolo #matt sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo #the sturniolo triplets #sturniolo imagine #sturniolo edit #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo smut #christopher sturniolo #chris sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #nick sturniolo #christopher owen sturniolo

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chaand-jalne-laga · 11 days

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CJL LIVE BLOG SEASON 1 [EPISODE 1]

So. I know, this is wrong. Coz I put the IPK one on hold and now i am starting another, but I thought, this one is just for 82 epis(SO SHORT? WTF? CHALA HI NAHI SHOW?!?!?) So, it wont take much time to complete this and I also wanted to keep this content and ipk content separate. Hence, a separate blog. I know y'all might be hard-core Arshi fans and ipk fans, but, give this one, a chance, as well, ok? Just for entertainment's sake? Please? Baaki, it's your choice ofc :) Hope you enjoy this.

1.) Hmm. Pune. Maharashtra. A girl peeping out through the car window. Enjoying the 'jaadu' in the air. Btw, I like the BG score, here.

2.) In the flashback, we see two kids sitting on a white horse and the horse is galloping in its full galore. The girl confirms the magic in the air as her hands are flying. Lol. Typical kids.

3.) Tara di's sister is asking about her opinion on her looks. IDK but I cringed real hard when she said, "Achi lag rahi hun naa?"(Like yeah darling, you look average. Lol. JK. You look stunning but stop with that cringe acting, ok?)

4.) Tara Di opens her hair and A SECOND-LITERALLY A SECOND AGO, she was irritated but then immediately she is impressed with her di's improvisation. Whatever. Lol.

5.) Selfies. Di is excited so she starts taking selfies and her younger sister is suspicious instantly. Why? Does she not take selfies on any normal day? Maybe. *shrugs*

6.) How typical of people to instantly assume that if a girl seems excited then she might be having a 'chakkar' with some boy. Why girl? Your sister can't be happy for her own self, just like that, without any reason? *hmph* Do you make her that upset? Lol. That now her excitement seems abnormal.

7.) NGL but this Tara di's sister is a really bad actor, whoever she is. Sorry. Lol.

8.) Tara Di gets off the car and lets them drive by. Then, she quickly runs to the Bus Station to catch a bus for--?--whatever.

A Side Gyaan : But that's such a bad way to catch a bus, actually. First, you catch the attention of the bus driver coz they are at a considerable height and then they stop the vehicle ONLY THEN you cross it and get on the bus, okay? My readers? Don't be like Tara Didi, okay? Good. Now, we come back to the epi.

9.) So. Tara didi is changing her shoes. I really thought for a sec that she will change her outfit too. Lol. A kid is staring at her antiques and she notices people are staring at her. So.

What do you think will she do?

a) ignore them

b) make faces at them

c) sunaoify (rudely) them for staring at a slightly differently dressed girl

d) give them a five page ka gyaan on social etiquettes as a soon-to-be 'Starplus Bahu'

Yeah. You are neither right nor wrong, coz she will randomly pull out a jar of lollipops and distribute it to appease them. Yes. We all do that. We all step out of our homes, thinking we might happen to be in a bus and can then distribute it among the children on the said bus. Whatever.

10.) TD gets off the bus and buys chana and gur for--?--*shrugs*

11.) TD is now sitting in a-tempo?-transport vehicle. Whatever. Driver announces her destination which is- "Sehgal Estate"

12.) The driver assuming her to be a tourist, warns her, of the place having been shut down for quite a few years now and he tells her that an accident had taken place, many years ago. TD flashes back to that 'haadsa' and politely dismisses him by stating that she is a local.

13.) Ok, ladies, so all things aside, who all can climb up and cross that gate, that high, with a WHITE SAREE and that too without staining it!?!? Anyone? No? See, our Tara D (Lol. I have so many name ideas for this girl.) CAN. She is a champion at this. (Okay so i wanted to take a screenshot of that long-ass gate but Jio Cinema didn't let me. Fudge you, Ambanis'. Whatever. Lol.)

14.) She takes help from Deva's flash back advice when he had first guided her to climb that (same?) gate. Okay, so that saxophone BG score is cute, okay? Lol.

15.) Gosh. How did they manage to find a small girl who looks exactly like Kanika Mann? Wow. Casting directors take a bow. *bows down with joined hands*

16.) Okay, so the titular song has started in the BG and I am loving it. Meanwhile, TD is going about the mansion and recalling that 'haadsa'.

17.) I am actually kinda liking this kid, Deva. How sweet of him. He extends a bunch of yellow flowers (symbolizing friendship). And damn, he has one hell of a head full of soft and flowy tresses. Wow. Any hair care tips for us, girls, Deva? Lol. Whatever.

18.) She digs out the 'nishaani' of their friendship which is basically two thick stones(or rocks?) joining like a puzzle piece and 'Badshah' along with caricatures of Deva and Tara, carved on the two pieces.

19.) She becomes very emotional, holding the symbol of a once very beautiful bond she had with some boy named- Deva. And then out of the blue we hear a horse neighing and Tara instantly brightens as she recognizes Badshah.

20.) Sure enough, we see Badshah running towards Tara and Tara on reaching close to it, touches it affectionately on it's jaws. We see that Badshah is indeed angry and disappointed on Tara. He starts running away as Tara tries to pacify it(him?). Oh. So. The chana and gur was for a horse. Ok. Nice.

Fun-Fact : All things set aside, Kanika genuinely had to interact with a horse in the middle of the shoot. I wonder if there's some story to this episode which she might have, like she was hell scared of horses and yet had to learn how to interact even if it's a well trained horse, we are talking about. Okay. Enough. Now back to the epi.

21.) Basant Kaka has come to see Tara Bitiya. What's with that line?-"Main janta tha ki aaj ka din tu bhulegi naayi, zarur aayegi." Kya hai aaj ke din mein aisa? Tara's demeanor changes as she recalls the incidents that took place in today's date.

22.) She tells BK that today is the day she met HIM (Deva?) and she reveals that he was the only one who made her Tara from 'Phus Tara' (Deflated Star or according to Jio Cinema's caption-'Timid Tara'. Basically an insulting nick name.)

(Lol. See. I got another name. But. Sorry i won't use that coz it triggers her childhood trauma.)

22.) Do I see vengeance there, Tara? Okay. So, we are being taken 15 years back.

23.) Wow. What an a__hole of a brother. He is chasing Tara all over the house with a bunch of crackers (chataai?) Tara is hidden inside the cupboard but she wants to come out because she is scared of darkness and it's all dark inside the cupboard. Ronak bhaiya fools her to come out but lays the chataai bomb and lights it with a matchstick giving her a 'Sehgal Promise'. These Sehgals seem to be too stuck up of a family tho.

Not-So-Fun Fact : God, these are the worst kind of crackers not only coz of the sound but also they keep scattering everywhere, while bursting, once lit. Even I am hell scared of these and always stand at least 1 Km away from these. Lol.

24.) Not knowing better (how would she? she is just a kid of 7-8 something.) Tara trusts her wicked brother, who has already run away to the veneration, steps out of the cupboard but it's too late the crackers keep scattering everywhere and bursting in the meantime and the poor kid is hell scared she starts calling out for her father ("Baba").

25.) Baba is doing aarti of Devi Maiyya (Oh. Hello DM. How are you? How are Khushi-Arnav and their munchkins doing? Lol. Sorry. I get carried away a bit.)

26.) WAIT. WHAT!?!!?!?! Is that the same guy, who was in Sheesh Mahal, on the fashion show night and Khushi came, asked him for directions but instead got to listen to an Urdu Shayari? Wow. See. A crossover we didn't deserve but got anyway. Whatever.

27.) Baba was doing aarti when his hell scared daughter comes and merely touches his back and the veneration plate skips away from his hand. Lol. What kind of a diet Baba takes that he couldn't even handle a gentle push from a mere kid of 7? Whatever.

But the thing that surprises me more is that he is about to lash out at her in front of the whole-family?- bunch of people. This is where I thought that there's some major tiff going on, in the family, like, everyone is against a mere kid.

28.) Baba, your daughter was hell scared, that too, coz of your a__hole of a son. A lil bit of compassion would go a long way. Thank you.

29.) Wow. A__hole father, a__hole brother. Tara. Run. I said. RUN. Whatever. Poor kid. Is getting blamed for the thing that she couldn't have any control of. So. Baba's wife died at childbirth. So. Now. He has got a lifetime license of blaming and punishing his daughter for it. WoW. jUsT. wOw.

30.) Some one please call a gynecologist and enlighten him that it hardly has anything to do with the child but has everything to do with proper timely medical care. Whatever.

31.) OH. She is crying in front her mother's portrait. Asking if she would ever be loved by anyone or not. I so desperately want to go and give her a looooooong jaadu ki jhappi. Uff. I am getting goosebumps now.

32.) She hears a melody being played out from a harmonica and is instantly drawn to its source. She sees, a boy riding a horse named Badshah and carrying balloons on it's saddle. She is kind of intrigued by this boy.

33.) The boy introduces himself as Deva and in the process, mocks Ronak. Ronak is kind of irritated of this boy already and tries to take over the horse and orders BK to light a long-ass chataai (do they have nothing else in the name of crackers? Lol. 'sEhGaLs') But, Deva is frantic and warns not to burst crackers as it will make Badshah go crazy and mocks him again and Ronak pushes him and Deva falls down.

34.) BK, following his master's orders, lights the chataai and Badshah goes crazy, starts running around violently. There is chaos everywhere, somewhere in the midst, Baba also shouts. The horse Badshah is now running towards Tara and Tara is frightened to the core. She freezes at her spot and covers her face ready to face the impact. Deva pulls off a high jump stunt and lands on the horse's back and calms him down in the process.

35.) Deva tries to cheer Tara up and is successful and from there on they both spend time together and thus become hard core friends.

36.) Deva lightens up her world. She smiles more, laughs more, conquers her fears a lil bit more, every time she is with Deva. And one fine day, they both are celebrating Deva's birthday and Tara has brought a cake for him. A candle is perched on its top. Deva lights it up and blows it away to make a wish. But the candle keeps lighting up again and again automatically, this surprises Deva and Tara falls into a pit of laughter and we see grown up Tara laughing in front of BK recalling the incident. This show is really moving something inside me. It's so heart warming tbh.

37.) Ok. So now they are celebrating BK's b'day and she has a cake-cum-aate-ka-halwa. BK lights up a matchstick and the small speck of fire again ignites that trauma in Tara. Poor girl is traumatized on loosing her only best friend.

38.) Tara and BK think that Deva is dead. And, Badshah has been bought by someone in exchange of lakhon rupiye. Altho, Bhojariya ji had a deal with Tara that she would pay him to keep Badshah in the Sehgal Estate but upon getting a greater amount of money, naturally, Bhojariya Ji sells it.

39.) Tara is heart-broken that she could not keep his only belonging safe and so apologizes to Deva (who she thinks is in heaven) and we are instantly taken to a hilltop where we see a man, also in white. So. Deva. He is alive and probably a reech buzinez man, i think? And, now, the plot is quite predictable, Tara will try to take back Badshah from that 'man' and he will in turn not reveal that he is indeed Deva becoz there is some misunderstanding on both of their side. So. He will try to seek revenge from Tara for what he had to go through in the past. As it is clear from the line, "Bohot jal chuka suraj, ab chaand ko jalna hoga." Wow. What a beautiful parallel tho. (Suraj-Deva and Chaand-Tara and also the title of the story makes a lot more sense now.)

40.) Ok. So. Jalebi reminded me that I did not mention Deva's entry scene. So. Yeah. Deva's entry scene, huh? Wow. Yeah. Sirf. Wow. I had literal goosebumps already and then that drone shot from the hilltop. The teapot hanging above the fire. Lol. What a traditional way to make chai amidst nowhere. Btw where did he get chai ki patti from? And what about chini? Cup? Lol. Banda puri taiyyari ke saath aaya tha. So. Yeah. Amazing scene. Handsome Deva. Beautiful white suit. Already swooning.

Not-so-Fun Fact : Damn this reminds me that I have been chai-deprived since yesterday coz chai was finished and no one in our house(as in me and my parents) were bothered enough to bring it from the general store altho we all were very much bothered for not being able to have a cup of chai. uGh. Whatever.

41.) Wow. Wow. Wow. This show has already started to cast its spell on me, to be honest. And it's just the first episode.

P.S. : So. Yeah. Very beautiful. Very very very beautiful indeed. Cinematography wise. Script wise. Costume wise. Look wise. Everything is perfect for Chaand Jalne Laga. TBH I was underestimating this show but it indeed is beautiful. Please do give it watch. Ok. Then. Bye. God bless you.

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spider-jaysart · 3 days

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What was the last comic you read & your least favorite?

@pin-crusher2000

Last comic:

Supersons haha, because I love rereading it

Least favorite:

Ooooh sooooo many!!!😤

(Incoming spoilers about some of them btw, in case you plan on reading some of these)

1. The comic that Bendis wrote, which caused Jon's whole age up and then changed everything for him in his life in main comics after that

2. The Supersons comic that starred the older, current version of the boys, because even though it was supposed to be like "Oh look fans! The boys are back!!", It just wasn't the same since DC already messed things up. And there were also some ooc moments inside the book too in a way where it felt like they swapped a bit of personalities🤨, which was pretty odd and didnt help so much for the enjoyment either

3. Don't know if you know this video game series or not, but it's called Telltales the walking dead games, and after the series ended, a comic series called Clementine was released a while after that and it's all so horrible, because it ruins everything about Clementine (the main character) and the good ending she had in the last game, making all the struggles she went through in her survival journey over the years to keep living and hopefully find peace one day seem like it was all actually for nothing. The writer doesn't understand her at all and mischaracterizes her so much that it's super annoying!! I HATE that book so much!!!😤😤 That is not my Clementine, just Tangerine

4. The Legion of heroes comic where they met Damian, because the way they treated and spoke about him, especially right in front of him and also Jon who they know is his friend, was just so disgusting to see and I was disappointed in the way Jon handled it and how he still joined their team after that AND the fact that he still dated Saturn girl too. His written reaction during that moment just wasn't enough, because I believe he should've been way more mad about it all, lost some respected interest in their group, and have his feelings on Saturn girl really changed up afterwards, which he would've been right for and it fits his character better because he's protective of his loved ones like that

5. Marvel zombies. I've never read it before, so I can't say if anythings wrong with it, since I don't know how most of it's story throughout the series goes to actually say if it has good or bad writing, but I just hate whenever I see it, because it's all just really gross and too messed up for me. Don't get me wrong though, because I love apocalypse stories, they're my faves, it's just that looking at this series and the stuff that happens on page feels a bit too much for me

6. Beast Boy by Kami Garcia.

Idk if this counts enough to be added into the list, cause the book was good, it was fine, it's just an annoying thing that stuck with me that changes my view on the book whenever I reread it now, because Beast boy seemed like he was genuinely really into the popular girl in the story, but then at the end it turned out he was actually just using her to get the feel of being popular and that just didn't sit so well with me when I read that part, because that just only makes it look like that's all he ever really wanted from her now and wasn't actually interested fr, even when he did look like it. Then he just runs off onto an adventure in the end after admitting to his friends that he didn't actually care that much about her anymore, just when he had finally gotten her invested in him and it's like, dude, what the heck??? That's how you handle it????

7. "Beast boy loves Raven" and "Robin" both by Kami Garcia

These are both also fine stories, it's just another thing about one of the romances, which doesn't let me really get through the books so well the way I want to. Damian falls for Raven's sister in "Beast boy loves Raven", a little too quickly tbh, and soon starts dating her, which is continued in "Robin" (because ofc he does, he can never just be a single kid that's not being set up everytime with whatever same age girl they can throw at him or just can't be left not crushing on some mature woman who's way too old for him, which is just icky whenever that happens). It feels weird because he's instantly into her the second they meet without him getting to know her, he's flirting right away back with her when he doesn't actually get like that in canon and mostly keeps his feelings to himself when it comes to crushes since he's reserved, and then he begins dating her after not too long and then they're pretty close and so cutesy playful as a couple, which should be fine, but it's just the way it's done that feels off to me loll, and I'm not so sure how to exactly explain the vibe, like it's too overly sweet in a way that's just not fitting because it was kind of quick and Damian seemed way too expressive with it a lot??? Probably not the right way to say it, idk lmaooo, but a friend of mines also understands and feels the same on the whole topic here. Like, it all just feels ooc on Damian's part the way his character there handles the whole thing. And this is not because I'm a Damijon fan loll, cause even if it was Jon in the love interest role instead of Raven's sister in the two books, I wouldn't want it to be rushed either. I would want Damian to have to get to know him better too before actually developing any romantic feelings and showing any signs of interest in him, and after a good while of getting to do that, then he grows more comfortable around him and they start dating later, cause that would fit his character better and would make the cute, playfulness feel more fitting in the relationship and seem more natural since they've already gotten close enough to be that way. It's one of the reasons why I like Damijon lol, because they're both already so close in their friendship, that dating could work between them so well. Once again though, this is all just my opinion that I'm expressing

8. I am not Starfire

That book is just so dumb lmaooo, only the art is good. Mandy, the daughter of Starfire, is an annoying, spoiled child who only envies and disrespects her Mother, makes everything about herself, gets too mad about everything for no good reason, and she doesn't even share any Tamaranean features with Starfire in looks either, except for the green eyes and very normal looking ginger hair, like seriously??? Dick is obviously the Dad, but he won't step up to get involved at all and pretends this isn't his problem, and I hate that this a trope that keeps happening whenever Dick and Starfire have kids with eachother, one of them gets taken away or either just leaves the other on their own to deal with everything, which sucks, because they should be able to be a happy family all together already where the kids grow up with them both in their lives, not more of this. Anyways, besides those mentioned things, everything else in this book is also very annoying and makes no sense too and it's not worth the read at all because of it

9. The Injustice crossover with Jon

Most of that book was annoying, like for example when Injustice!Clark broke Jay's arm and then Jon threateningly went into Ultra power mode just to....give Clark a hug for it. Like wtf lmaoooo???? He was overly playing pacifist and it was so, so stupidly silly. And I don't even know what's going on in that universe now after he left it, like that's how much of nothing he did in there, except get sassy with everyone and try befriending Injustice!Damian lolll, which made things feel like a literal waste of time in the crossover when it seemed like he would actually try changing things up in there somehow

Okay, so I think that's it for now, cause I can't think of anymore books at the moment lol, so thanks for the ask, crusher! I like that I got to express about some of these! :)

(I apologize if these rants were a bit much btw, I just get like that sometimes because I don't get to do it enough😅, so, sorry about that, unless you're fine with it though and actually like reading that, which is awesome then, cause then I've got a good listener loll)

#spider-jaysart asks

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martini-time · 5 months

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Ok, there's smth vague that still bothers me and i wanna share with you (maybe i read too much into it, i dunno).

Layla had a few vague posts with very weird timing that i cannot figure out. Probably you or beautiful anons can elaborate.

First one is this https://ibb.co/bW0HPqM (07.29.2015). It feels like a message to someone (to herself maybe?), or it's about insecurities? The timing is weird cause at that time noel was back on set (07.31 is the day they had cast reunion and noel was there sitting next to cam, cam deleted that pic, btw, for whatever reason, you never know with him). It's also the time when cam had an emotional breakdown and posted heartbreaking shit (many people i know firmly believed he just missed noel and once they met at cast reunion, he seemed a bit happier after that, but it was most likely cause of sadie and their constant on-and-off relationship).

Second one is https://ibb.co/xY2rPfY. A very optimistic one like something suddendly resolved like she wanted to\hoped for? The timing is also beautiful - right after noel filmed the dock scenes in chicago and came back home.

Third one is https://ibb.co/mqnK2zk. A month before the wedding. I have no idea whether it has any meaning or not but it sounds like it does, since layla is not the type of a person who would post some weird shit just for the sake of it (like cam often does).

Now, this one is the most interesting one https://ibb.co/zSxv9jm. She posted it twice: 1) in july 2016 (then week after steve howey hinted in his twitter that noel is coming back). A few days later she posted another weird post saying smth like "no matter what you're going through - beauty can be found anywhere" or smth (i don't have it, it's in her insta). What is funny, Noel posted a song not long before that, Sam Cookie – A change is gonna come. (the same song he posted when he had a fallout with Layla in 2018). What is even funnier, a week after that Cam also made a vague post about fear - https://ibb.co/m40tXWC. A day before that he made another vague post about darkness\lightness (i find some symbolism in it, assuming he means he is the darkness) - https://ibb.co/1TZsvCy. 2) in september 2017, they were already married, and nothing really happened at that time, so i wonder... trouble in paradise? but why...

Ok, so maybe it all means nothing, but it still rubs me the wrong way. I don't believe she posted it just cause. She definitely meant something and it was personal (not necessarily about Cam or Mosher, but definitely related to Noel\herself).

You know, maybe sometimes we all read too much into it, but I don't think we'd all be here if we didn't see anything suspicious or strange or coincidental. I don't believe in coincidences. Maybe only sometimes. :)

I do not know if you wanted me to sort out each of her quotes and timelines. Someone may say that these are just quotes and we all like them. it's true, sometimes we like a quote from a movie because it sounds good and that's it, but Layla posted them to her page as separate posts, so she felt a certain way that she needed to add this or that thing to her page.

But it's not even about the quotes. Look, they've been together like since 2005 and they've never been super busy actors, but they only got married in 2017 right when Noel was filming and he went back to LA to get married, whereas they could have chosen any time any date of any year to do it calmly and possible to choose a nicer place than the backyard of your house, in which you haven't even unpacked your boxes, come on, Noel.

So I don't need to read too much into the quotes to know that this is some kind of shit lol

Or that time after the dock scene Noel didn't go to hang out with the cast, but went to Layla and she made sure to post that pic of Noel in their bed and say he's with her, suck it, red.

It's too much for a private person.

I don't know if that's what you wanted me to say.. But yes, I think these three definitely communicated through posts, stories, songs and tweets on sm.

And you wrote there about the trouble in paradise. Look, this is the first time they appear at an event as a married couple. Happy faces hahah, yeah

So yeah, I'm sure they've had troubles more than once.

#time to tea #noel #layla

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alastairstom · 1 year

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I dont think matt changed, I think cc wanted to do a novella of him since day zero, whereas I think she changed grace edning, Im pretty sure after seeing how hated she was she made her miserable

Yeah, I don't think Matthew's ending would ever have been anything but happy. He is definitely a character who was handled with a lot of love and care, and his was clearly a powerful story that meant a lot to many people.

Cassie always seemed to favour him in that same way she favours Jem/Jace/Magnus, which suits me just fine since he's possibly my favourite fictional character ever.

He was by far the most-teased TLH character along with James, having 2 short stories centered around him and 1 more where we got to see him deteriorate a bit. He was a character that she talked about a lot in the early days of TLH's development. He was also always considered one of 4 main characters alongside the 3 main PoV characters (and I'm pretty sure that he, along with Alastair, gets more overall page time than Lucie, too).

I think Cassie definitely has planned a Matthew novella for a long time, and I don't think that she was ever going to compromise him in a way that could interfere with that.

I'm also very glad that she didn't give him a love interest in the main TLH series, btw. His love interest always had to be himself. He needed to help himself. He had to be the one to spur his own growth. I'm proud that he did.

Matthew's arc was masterfully executed, and I do not think she could have pulled off its wonderful pacing and messaging if it weren't her initial plan.

Onto Grace:

I actually am extraordinarily surprised that Grace survived TLH. I don't think Cassie was miserable seeing how hated Grace was; in fact, I think that Cassie's narrative itself wants the reader to hate Grace, at least a little bit. This is actually one of the reasons that I'm so defensive of Grace. I don't think that she was given the same love and care that other traumatized characters like Matthew and Alastair were given.

I do, in the end, think she changed the Grace ending. I think Grace was meant to die a la Jessamine. But instead, she was allowed to live, and trapped with a group of people who (for totally good and legitimate reasons!) will never, ever fully embrace her. I wish she had been sent to another Institute where she could form new connections with others that she hadn't egregiously wronged (out of fear and terror and abuse). There's nothing tying her to this group besides Jesse, who clearly is no longer fond of her. Should've let her go, but I'm glad that she's at least not dead.

Of course, speculating about the "original ending" or "what was going to happen" is never productive. As Cassie said, there is no "true" alternate ending, which suits me just fine because I love Chain of Thorns, I adore the ending, and I actually only have a few major criticisms about it (most involving Grace). It's all a writing process, and things change over time (as in, one of my OCs initially died in my own novel's draft but she will very much live and hopefully have a spinoff if everything goes to plan).

But, yes. I think Matthew's could never have been any different, and I think Grace's actually improved over time.

#matthew fairchild #grace blackthorn #asked and answered

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boyfridged · 1 year

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What do you think Jason would feel about mothers? Considering he was betrayed by one and then would have gone on and had figures in his life like a mother.

since someone brought up sheila yesterday, i just remembered that this ask has been stranded in my drafts for a while! sorry.

some loose thoughts on the topic, in a "chronological" order:

in the 80s canon, jay grieves after willis and catherine the same. while it's safe to assume that willis was (physically) more absent, there's not much indication that jay had any parental preference (neither of them really could responsibly parent him anyway.) so i believe in general terms jay doesn't really differentiate much between parental roles (and that's why, subsequently, my answer is more about parents in general rather than just mothers...)

i have a post talking about jason's parental relationship with bruce here but i just want to add that atp we also don't see jason having any specific longing for a figure of a mother. imo the reason he gets obsessed over seeking his biological mother out is that in this particular moment he does not feel secure in his relation with bruce. i think if he found out about a biological father instead, he would also want to find him. what he wants is simply a stable family (<- which he does have in bruce; but does not trust to be able to keep without robin.)

i have mentioned before that it's very important to me that jason most probably forgave sheila. of course, the fact that he tried to save her does not alone confirm it; he would probably do it for anyone, and so it's more of my headcanon, especially since the contemporary canon nearly completely erased her from the narrative up until cheer. but as i said, i prefer to think that he forgave her, as he forgave catherine (if he even ever truly blamed either of them.)

i like to think about his relationship with talia as a parental one too (ignoring the two infamous pages of the lost days), but there's not much canon material, and freshly post-res jason seems fixated on the idea that he is "no one's son." nevertheless, he is also just still a kid when first in her care, and i do think that they could grow into that kind of relationship throughout the years (despite his best efforts to deny himself the comfort of familial connections.)

tbh one of the reasons for which i headcanon that, compared with other kids bruce has taken in, 1. he is the only one who used to call him 'dad' regularly 2. he is the only one who actually settled into a more 'standard' parent-child relationship with him 3. he is the only one who got formally adopted (which "on page" happened only pre-crisis btw), is because jay had a rather traditional expectation of what a bond with a parental figure should look like (and because bruce wanted to overcompensate while working through on jay's attachment issues). the others were either older or did not have a past that conditioned them for such focus on keeping the parent close, so it did not matter much. i think in terms of parental relationships, jason needs to call them by that name and needs formal ways of them being recognized, or at least this is what his abandonment issues call for. at the same time, it also freaks him out because he was a parentified child before and he doesn't think he should need it, so it's a game of pulling closer and pushing away, testing the bonds.

my conclusion is that i don't have much to say about mothers in particular; i think he has plenty conflicting feelings about the parental roles no matter the gender.

#i'm not talking about nocturna because pre-crisis jay's experience with parents is completely different #i'm so sorry it took me so long. for no reason at all. i knew exactly what i wanted to say since i saw it #and it's an interesting question! esp that i would reply to it differently like a year ago - before i did a solid reread of starlin's run #re: jay calling bruce dad and the formal adoption etc #it's important for me to be understood that i don't say it because of favouritism #but because i don't think batfam should ever fit anything resembling a typical nuclear model #and all in all it's really just jay who's been shown to actively seek out these traditional role #<- because he has a ton of issues that in particularity correspond with it #and also esp re adoption bc legal adoption is a very conservative thing #<- which is why (among others) i don't want it for dick. and i don't think *dick* would want it #anyway sorry!! this is not even an answer to your ask. what a tangent #outbox #jay.zip #dc #robin days

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theflyingfeeling · 11 months

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#(today i was distracted by this way too elaborate olli/allu + olli/tommi + allu/joonas murder mysteryAU set in the early 50s i came up with#(which you are welcome to ask more about btw)

oh????? 👀👀 please do tell some details about it if you want to? i'm very interested 👀👀👀👀👀👀

have an amazing day 💖💕

Yes yes yesssss!! 😌 But before I proceed, a couple of disclaimers: 1) the summary below is gonna contain referenced murder and sexual assault (NOT by any of the main characters though and nothing is described too graphically/explicitly), 2) it's rather vague in parts and I'm yet to figure out some of the details, and 3) I'm not planning on ever writing any of this, in fact I think it'd work better as maybe a TV series? I don't know. I for one don't have the skills (or patience) to actually write this (...plus I'm actually terrified by this whole thing myself ngl 😅). I hope you enjoy it though! As much as one can enjoy a murder mystery... 😥

First I'm gonna have to explain what inspired this. I learned today that last week it was the 70th anniversary of one of Finland's most famous cases of unsolved homicide, the murder of Kyllikki Saari. The link will take you to the Wikipedia page of the case (in English), but to summarize it (skip the rest of this bullet point if you don't want to hear about stuff like this!!), a 17-year-old girl was murdered on his way home from a religious gathering and 5 months later her remains were found buried in a bog. To this day, no-one knows who's behind the murder; there have been a couple key suspects, but no clear evidence to prove anything for sure. There's also nothing that would directly prove it was a sexual crime, although it can't be ruled out, since the victim was not wearing any clothes on the bottom half of her body and her other breast was out of her blouse when they found her. Now PLEASE don't take me for some weirdo and think I'm somehow fascinated by the case or think it's cool: I'm creeped out as fuck about this tbh, but ever since I first heard about the case, it's been haunting me a bit. Not daily obviously, but every now and then something reminds me of it. In the late 50s - early 60s there were also two other equally famous, unsolved murder cases in Finland: the double murder of Tulilahti (two young women killed on their bicycle/camping trip, also buried in a bog + a number of other similarities with the case described above) and the Lake Bodom murders (three campers killed inside their tent, one camper in the group survived but suffered injuries that caused memory loss; the link will lead you to Wikipedia). This idea of mine is probably most inspired by the Tulilahti case, but only vaguely.

- So based off the cases I described briefly above, I'm basing this story in rural/countryside Finland in the 1950s or the 1960s (sorry for any possible historical accuracies that may occur 😅) - The story begins with Olli and Aleksi, two friends who want to... explore each other, themselves, and their sexualities, if you get what I mean 😏 They're not boyfriends per se, but they do enjoy each other's company maybe a little more than is appropriate for friends of the same sex (in the context of the 1950s/60s). Of course, this all has to happen in secrecy, and so they seek out secluded places for this purpose - One day they decide to go for a swim in a pond they had found deep in the forest. I know this story is full of plotholes lol but let's imagine it used to be a popular swimming place for kids and that an old, wooden changing room has remained there from those times. I don't know if such things existed in the 50s already, but please humour me a little and imagine a simple wooden hut with two rooms in which to change into your swimwear, yeah? (one for boys, one for girls) - So they go for a swim and have all sorts of fun in the water, and as the sun's about to set (as much as the sun ever sets in Finland in the summer), they head back to the hut. They should be changing back into their normal clothes, as soon it's gonna be too dark for them to easily find their way out of the forest, but they get a bit carried away... 💞 - In the middle of their fooling around, they hear noises from somewhere by the pond. Two people talking in the distance, footsteps, etc. They can't recognize either of the voices from that far. - (plotholes plotholes plotholessssss) - After a while of listening to the noises in terrified silence (afraid of getting caught by whoever's out there), they hear screaming. - There are noises of fighting/struggling. The screams start coming closer to the hut. - The person (a woman, they can tell) is still screaming in terror when she's pushed to the other booth (the one next to Olli and Aleksi) - Then the screams are first muffled, then weakened, until they stop altogether. - Sounds of something being dragged. A man grunting. Steps around the (windowless) hut. Olli and Aleksi are paralyzed with terror and don't dare to even breathe. They stay the night at the hut, awake and trembling until the morning, not daring to sneak out until they're finally sure no one's around anymore and return home. - They find an item on the path from the lake. A watch maybe, I haven't decided yet. They can't remember seeing it before, but of course that doesn't mean it wasn't there already when they arrived. In any case, one of them picks it up and takes it with them. Just in case.

- I'm not sure what either of them do for a living in this AU, but I'm imagining Olli working at some kinda office (at the town hall maybe? I don't knooooooow) and Aleksi maybe as a farmhand with Joonas as his roommate (both details crucial to the plot) - They swear to each other to not talk about what they had heard in the forest to any other living soul, but when Olli returns to his office job the next day and hears that one of his co-workers (a woman around his age, more an acquaintance and a co-worker than a friend) has not showed up for her workshift, Olli gets a bad feeling. - Olli mentions this to Aleksi and says that they should go talk to the police about what happened, but Aleksi forbids him, as he's afraid they might get in trouble, not necessarily because they might be key witnesses to an alleged murder, but because of what they were up to at the time. - "What are you gonna tell them when they ask you what we were doing there, huh?!" - They have a proper quarrel about it and depart on bad terms :( - Obviously the case is bothering them both; even though Aleksi tells Olli to forget about the whole thing and act as if nothing has happened (between them nor in the forest), he has nightmares about the incident. He hears the screams of terror in his dreams and wakes up with a gasp (only to find out the screams had been just a seagull screaming outside at sunrise), which rouses Joonas' curiosity - Cue a side-plot of Aleksi and Joonas lending each other a helping hand/mouth to let off some steam before/after their farmwork (maybe Aleksi tells him he's just stressed about idk??, while Joonas has trouble coping with surpressing his sexuality, which obviously reflects on their thing). I'm not yet sure what's the purpose of this side plot, other than to give Aleksi (and Joonas) something to do during his fall-out with Olli

- Speaking of which, meanwhile Olli remembers that his old schoolmate / childhood friend Tommi works as a police officer in town these days. Olli can't handle keeping the secret to himself anymore, and without Aleksi around to stop him, he decides he can trust Tommi with it, without fearing what he might think if/when Olli needs to spill the truth about why he had been in the forest - Indeed, Tommi is curious to hear why (you know, for the purposes of the investigation), and Olli doesn't explicitly tell him, but rather... implies it. Not saying the words, but it doesn't take a genius to understand what he means - Tommi understands. He undertands perfectly well, in fact - Olli refuses to tell who the other key witness is, but agrees to help Tommi with the investigation as much as he can, if Tommi in turn promises to keep his little secret - Tommi is so into the case that he uses his free time on it as well, and he invites Olli to help him out at his house one evening (he still lives at his parent's farmhouse). - ...which means they have to be extra quiet when making passionate love to each other in Tommi's room 🥺💕 - Usually Olli manages to sneak out at night, but one time he accidentally falls asleep and doesn't wake up until there's a knock on the door - Tommi gestures Olli to stay in the bed and be quiet while he goes to get the door. - There's a man, asking if Tommi borrowed his watch again (he hasn't). Olli recognizes the voice. - When the man's gone, Olli asks Tommi who it was. Tommi's brother. (much older than Tommi and lives out of town, so Olli never knew him - Olli can't wait to get out of the house 💀 - He practically runs to Aleksi to tell him about his discovery, and accidentally spills the whole thing to Joonas too (he didn't notice Joonas was in the room as well (nor does he pay attention to the fact he's half-naked on Aleksi's bed)

Aaaaaaand that's what I have so far 😬 I'm not sure if the plot makes any sense (for example, I have no idea what Joonas' actual role in this is), nor have I given much thought to the motive of the murder (secret lovers who got in a quarrel that was taken too far? a random lunatic losing his temper with a girl who rejected her? I don't knoooooow) or any details as to how the victim and the offender ended up at Olli and Aleksi's hideout (without noticing they weren't the only ones there at the time). I also have no idea how this all will be resolved. Will Aleksi eventually be ready to give his witness's report as well? Will Olli be able to tell Tommi who he thinks is the murderer and show him the watch they had found? What will happen to Aleksi and Olli if they have to publicly confirm they had heard the murder because they had been doing something illegal themselves in the next room? Will the body of the victim be found? I don't know 🤷‍♀️

Also, I'm sorry Joel and Niko are not in this, I just couldn't imagine them with in the 50s/60s setting with their long hair 😂

#long text alert woops #please don't think i'm a creep 😭#also maybe don't read this late at night if you get scared easily 😅💀#i had to keep the tv on while writing this as to not become too scared myself 😭#next i'm gonna go to bed to think about my cute and fluffy olli/allu beach fic as to not have nightmares tonight 🥲#blind channel rpf

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wildelydawn · 5 months

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4, 6, 12, and 14 for the ask game you just shared. Hope you feel a bit better soon! (Love you!)🫂🤍💛

4. What’s a word that makes you go absolutely feral?

Hmmmm, I'm not sure. I like the way Australians may or may not say no/"naur." I think it's very cute. But I don't think that counts, right?

6. What is your darkest fear about writing?

I promise I am not planning something fucked up or anything, but ever since Chester Bennington took his life, everyone around me keeps saying, "well, we should have known, look at the albums Linkin Park made." And like... yes, people process a lot of stuff through writing. And I am sure Chester did too. But I really am afraid that one day, if things were to happen, someone would look through my journals, articles, fanfics, or even this blog and say, "Well, we should've known." I have a good life. A much better life than many people I know. And sometimes, really terrible things happen (whether by choice or fate), but that doesn't mean my entire life, or Chester's, was awful and that we only make/made art because of bad things. My really sad writing (or even my writing about IRL problems such as war, etc) shouldn't become evidence for living people's crimes or neglect. I don't know if this is making sense, but basically, I'm afraid everything I write will unconsciously be classified as a symptom of my depression/suicidal ideation. (And maybe Chester is a bad example because a lot of his music was "sad" or "troubling" or whatever words people like to use, and I in no way knew Chester intimately, but idk. I'm just uncomfortable with people saying, "'Heavy' was definitely a sign that he was fucked up" when "Battle Symphony" is on the same album.)

12. If a genie offered you three writing wishes, what would they be? Btw if you wish for more wishes the genie turns all your current WIPs into Lorem Ipsum, I don’t make the rules

Hmmm. 1) The ability to not talk myself out of writing. 2) To always find the perfect source/research needed. 3) To never have to worry about a works cited page/have all my citations perfectly done.

14. Do you lend your books to people? Are people scared to borrow books from you? Do you know exactly where all your “lost” books are and which specific friend from school you haven’t seen in twelve years still possesses them? Will you ever get them back?

I constantly lend books to people, and I don't particularly care what they do with them because most of the time, I have writing/annotations, post it notes, etc in them. I think I have gifted/gave at least 6 copies of The Picture of Dorian Gray to several people. They ask to borrow a copy, and I almost always give them one and then find another copy in a thrift store. It's basically a cycle. I am perfectly fine with never getting a book back. If I'm ready to give it away, then it's done it's job with me, and it's time for that book to change someone else.

Tenks my friend :3 I adore you!!

Send me weird writer questions.

#ask game #weird writer questions #ask #answered #FawndlyVenus #Venus #tw: suicide #tw: depression

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lietpolski · 1 year

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Denmark, 0! (I'm so glad they added an all option!)

!!! ok here we go :D

1) what would their social media page/activity be like: i've discussed this w/ a friend but i think denmark is the most technologically capable after sweden! i think on twitter he's a little more professional (but he loves rting feel-good stuff) BUT he shines on insta. it's full of artsy pictures of the danish countryside and embarrassing videos of him and his friends on his stories :,)

2) what animal they remind me of: i don't care that it's predictable that man is a puppy!!!! manga denmark is a golden retriever but anime denmark is a yippy chihuahua with that fucking voice

3) my thoughts on their design/aesthetic alone: LOVE!! i think his canon outfit is really nice compared to.... whatever the other four are doing!! his hair is dumb but it's dumb /affectionate /i love him

4) physical headcanons: i got a few! he's an early bird!! and a light sleeper. physique-wise he's the second tallest nordic and he has BIG ass arms (an axe was his main weapon so!! makes sense to me!) he has a huge sweet tooth + he loves pastries!! but his favourite is whatever norway bakes because he's a softie :) as for actual food.... this man survives on sandwiches hot dogs and beer. get well soon x

5) social headcanons: denmark is the nordic with the most friends outside of the group!! finland comes close, because everyone loves finland and he has estonia & hungary, but i think denmark's outside friendships are more involved! a strip that really stuck with me is one during the denmark-norway period, where he goes to the netherlands and asks him to give him the buddy price on weaponry and ned agrees despite how he usually is :,) within the group, i see him as having an older-brother-but-kinda-dad relationship with iceland. sweden and him are close now and they're just the brothers who had a fallout but now r coping by insulting themselves jokingly (only when they're a few drinks in sometimes it's not a joke). he and fin only became close in later centuries but their personalities are super compatible so they're great friends!! and he and norway... oughghhg you're talking to dennor lover #1 here HAH to me they've been basically on-and-off in love for 1100 years or so :,) i'll go more into it in a future post so i'll stop here but!! yeah!!

6) psychological headcanons: i feel like i covered most of this in my denmark analysis!! but hm yeah for me his greateast fear is for sure isolating his family again. and despite how carefree he acts, i think he weighs his decisions very carefully because of what happened in the past when he didn't. i think he's actually really good with dealing with anger in modern day (he's had a lot of practice) but he regrets how he used to be before. speaking of before!! i love to think abt him from the viking era to approximately the late 1500s just... cocky bloodthirsty denmark is really fun to explore and i think people should play it up more instead of making him p much as sweet as in modern times! i dont think he wouldve been anything like that to anyone but his family and own people (also animals btw this guy loves animals 100%)

7) ship(s) with them that i like or at least consider: in terms of like... my version of canon i'm a dennor soloshipper i think :,) BUT i find denmark/norway/finland/sweden fun to think about!! also denmark/estonia is a rarepair i think is veryvery cute. and some classic nedden never hurt anyone!

8) made-up connections with other characters that weren't in the canon (friends, enemies, whatever): yes!! estonia as i just mentioned! he was danish land once and he's a nordic fanboy now so they have to have some kind of relationship! also prussia; i know they do have the whole awesome trio thing going on, BUT i think historical denmark & prussia is not spoken about enough. the 2 were on the same side all the time back then!! finally i find it really funny if he and poland get on each others nerves HAH again because of historical reasons!

9) headcanons about their past: again covered a lot of these already but!! here's one that's a little different. denmark was the first to become christian, and i think he would've annoyed the fuck out of norway and sweden (who were still norse pagan) about it! sometimes it just got him exasperated eye rolls, sometimes it got him beheaded, yk how it goes

10) content about them I'd like to see more of: anything i love denmark sosososo much more iceland & denmark content!!! i adore norway & iceland don't get me wrong but they for sure overshadow ice & dan when it comes to familial dynamics and it's a shame! also i think a lot of the historical content focuses on the viking era, the fall of the kalmar union or 1814, and i'd like to see more of him in the 1500s-1700s!! he was up to interesting stuff!!

#long post #THIS WAS REALLY FUN THANK YOU!!!!! aaahh i love talking about the nordics sm :))#maia talks #ask

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canyouhearthelight · 2 years

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Hi! I was wondering if you happened to have an AO3 account (archive of our own)? I’ve been reading The Miys but I only use tumblr mobile which can be difficult at times. If you don’t, could I ask if you’ve ever considered setting an AO3 account up? (Apologies if this comes across as rude btw, I’m really really enjoying the series!!)

I hope you have a great day! :D

Sooo.... Time to come clean...

Yes, I do have an AO3. It should be under the same name. Unfortunately, it has exactly 3 works on it...

All of which are SPN fanfics I did for a Secret Santa exchange several years ago. 2 are Destiel, 2 is Sabriel, bc that is what my folks wanted. None are smutty, and I personally think the one in Arkansas is hilarious, bc the only made up shit in that entire fic are the SPN characters. Hot Springs, AR, really is just that damned weird.

That said, I am working on getting Miys posted over there. @quantumizedinsanity is helping me with the necessary editing, but between my full time job and their class load, things aren't going terribly swooftly.

The goal is to post the first 100 chapters in one go, then 1 or 2 a week until caught up or done, whichever comes first.

I don't know where you are at in the story, but most of the chapters (excluding I think the last 3) have page links at the bottom to make it easier.

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shawnjacksonsbs · 3 days

Text

The 2nd one-

Shawn is:

Impatiently waiting for brotherhood in greater numbers than the world has ever known. 4-27-24

"Six months after Elizabeth had become pregnant, God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a city in Galilee. The angel went to a virgin promised in marriage to a descendant of David named Joseph. The virgin’s name was Mary.

When the angel entered her home, he greeted her and said, “You are favored by the Lord! The Lord is with you.”

She was startled by what the angel said and tried to figure out what this greeting meant.

The angel told her,

“Don’t be afraid, Mary. You have found favor [a] with God.

You will become pregnant, give birth to a son,

and name him Jesus.

He will be a great man

and will be called the Son of the Most High.

The Lord God will give him

the throne of his ancestor David.

Your son will be king of Jacob’s people forever,

and his kingdom will never end.”

Mary asked the angel, “How can this be? I’m a virgin.”

The angel answered her, “The Holy Spirit will come to you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. Therefore, the holy child developing inside you will be called the Son of God.

“Elizabeth, your relative, is six months pregnant with a son in her old age. People said she couldn’t have a child. But nothing is impossible for God.”

Mary answered, “I am the Lord’s servant. Let everything you’ve said happen to me.”

Then the angel left her." - Luke 1:26-38 (the Bible)

There was internet when I was in college, as brief a spell as that was in my life, but it wasn't the giant, unrelenting research thing that it is now.

I took 2 courses before my relapse. One of which was a world religion class. I aced both classes, albeit the other one was an open book, open note music appreciation class. Lol

All of this is to say that I learned a new thing today that started in my Facebook feed in the comment section under a post of a guy I follow.

It seems that he recently converted from the Christian pastor I knew him to be, to a member of the Nation of Islam.

As I read the shit back n forth from everyone, I learned that Muslims believe that Jesus is the Messiah.

I already knew that they believed he was born of the virgin Mary, that he performed devine miracles during his life. I also knew that there were mostly differences surrounding his death and transcendence into heaven.

I learned today that they all are taught to be more Christ -like than anything else. To live as closely to the actual way Jesus did, as they humanly can.

They also believe he will come back to earth in the end of days to defeat the false messiah, or the "anti-christ".

They can't truly call themselves Muslim without that belief, and love and respect for Jesus and all his followers.

Jesus would still love the misguided. All followers of him should do the same.

Discrepancies in the different doctrines obviously leave it to fall on individual personal feelings for how they believe, but both Christianity and Islam call for more christ-like living in the followers of each.

Pretty big learn for me today.

Btw, they love you guys, more than they love me. Lol

Jus' sayin'

I do love being able to find, so easily . . .books, all books.

Obviously, some research is tainted or altogether fabricated, but not just going to a website or social media page filled with biases, opinions, or out-right lies is nice.

Read the words myself, some new, some as refreshers.

Read them myself.

How I long for the day when peace will overcome - amoung you all, amount US all.

Unpeacefulness, or even hate and fear, born out of an ignorance of others is the worst kind of hate.

I don't care if you believe like me, or like a Deist, or like a Christian, or like a Muslim or someone Jewish, or fully Atheist, we are all brothers in humanity. It would be nice if we all acted like it.

And to not be ashamed of how some of my brothers treat others, or think them less than, would be ideal.

I don't want to promote standing up to bullies and judgmental people nearly as much as I want to promote peace, and the unnecessarity of being judgmental at all.

Until we all arrive here though, it is the responsibility of the few to stand against the many of whom would divide us.

Please share your love and your laughter with the world around you. At large, and small, kindnesses accomplish more in one second than hate would for us in a lifetime.

Until next week; does this sound familiar to you? At all?

"[And mention] when the angels said, "O Mary, indeed Allah gives you good tidings of a word from Him, whose name will be the Messiah, Jesus, the son of Mary - distinguished in this world and the Hereafter and among those brought near [to Allah ].

He will speak to the people in the cradle and in maturity and will be of the righteous."

She said, "My Lord, how will I have a child when no man has touched me?" [The angel] said, "Such is Allah ; He creates what He wills. When He decrees a matter, He only says to it, 'Be,' and it is.

And He will teach him writing and wisdom and the Torah and the Gospel

And [make him] a messenger to the Children of Israel, [who will say], 'Indeed I have come to you with a sign from your Lord in that I design for you from clay [that which is] like the form of a bird, then I breathe into it and it becomes a bird by permission of Allah . And I cure the blind and the leper, and I give life to the dead - by permission of Allah . And I inform you of what you eat and what you store in your houses. Indeed in that is a sign for you, if you are believers." - Imran 3:45-49 (Quran)

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lululawrence · 2 years

Text

⭐️ Annual Writing Self-Evaluation 2021 ⭐️

I’ve been lucky enough to have done this in one form or another for the last several years and it is such a fun reflection back on the year. Thank you to @haztobegood @ladyaj-13 @quelsentiment @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed @disgruntledkittenface @kingsofeverything @justalarryblog @boosbabycakes28 @wadey-wilson @lt2soon @uhoh-but-yeah-alright @evilovesyou @jacaranda-bloom @loulovehome @larryyouknow and @sadaveniren AND @laynefaire for tagging me so I remembered to do it again this year! lol I hope I got everyone, sorry if I left someone out (2017, 2018, 2019, 2020 and 2020 apparently i did two last year, please ignore me)

1. Number of stories posted to AO3: 20 (what a lovely, round number!)

2. Word count posted for the year: 430,977

3. Fandoms I wrote for: One Direction (Band), Lewis Capaldi (Musician), BBC Radio 1 RPF

4. Pairings: lmaoooo excellent question. why doesn't the ao3 stats page have that info easily listed? and same with giving us info like how many fics i posted... why do i have to count that manually? lol ANYWAY pairings... right. ahem.

Harry/Louis

Zayn/Liam which turns into Zayn/Liam/Louis

Lewis Capaldi/Niall

Nick Grimshaw/Louis/Harry (one of which starts as Nick/Louis and the other starts as Harry/Nick, so those pairings as well...)

Niall/Louis (though it does imply at the end that it is an ot5 relationship)

Nick Grimshaw/Liam

Greg James/Harry

these are all main pairings btw. i'm quite proud of that spread. i was tempted to ONLY write poly and rare pairs next year, just for the fun of it, but i don't wanna limit myself in that way. if it happens, it happens, but sometimes i just really love writing harry/louis so yeah. anywayyyyy...

5. Story with the most: Kudos: Maybe You'll Like the Way I Am (holy shit, i had no idea this one had so many kudos...) Bookmarks: Maybe You'll Like the Way I Am (lmao this fic was apparently more popular than i remembered hahaha) Comments: On Christmas Day (In The Morning)

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why): i know i complain about this every year, but this really is incredibly hard for me to answer this year. i poured a lot of myself into so many fics this year and i have three or four i'm juggling between for this right now because of that. ugh i think... i think i have to say What I Have With You (I don't want with anyone else), and not just because it's the longest fic i've ever written and probably will ever write lol that fic has so very much of myself in it and i never thought... i just. it was such a complex fic that i wanted to write perfectly, and it just HAPPENED so perfectly. @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed was the perfect collaborator and inspiration and just. the fact she trusted me with that prompt and helped shape it so much to allow it to become what it did. i could go on for hours about that fic, so i'll just stop now but. yeah. that one.

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why): i refuse to answer this. lol for real though, i just really really love my fics, all of them, so i don't really have one i'm less proud of or whatever.

8. Share or describe a favorite review you received: again rude? there are so very many that mean so much to me, but i think most of them belong to What I Have With You (I don't want with anyone else). and you know what, i just went back and read a lot of them, and i'm not choosing one. i'm just gonna say collectively it's the comments on that fic. there were so many lovely ones that told me the pacing was perfect, or that they learned so much from it without the fic feeling preachy, or that several people who identify as a-spec found relatable aspects to their identities and experiences in the fic, and honestly i'm getting emotional thinking about it, so yeah. just. those. thank you to everyone who has read it, but truly thank you so very much to everyone who has commented on it as well.

9. A time when writing was really, really hard: this year the writing wasn't really hard in and of itself, but finding the time to write was INCREDIBLY hard and that was a theme from about june onward, but PARTICULARLY november and december. it's been fucking hard to find time to write, y'all, and i just want the time to wriiiiiite *sobs*

anyway. i guess you could say i'm still in it. lol

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: haaaaaaaaa like everything?? i mean, truly. everything i wrote in the last six months of this year was just... so unexpected in almost every way. so yeah.

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing: please know i have been deliberating about this for DAYS and it took me FOREVER to figure something out, but my dearest @disgruntledkittenface shared a snippet of my Thou, Sun, Art Half As Happy stylinshaw fic and when i read it i was like oh... oh i do actually really like that? and like... i'm quite proud of it because i feel like writing kisses and physical affection in general is difficult for me and i just feel very... i dunno. anyway. the fact that i struggle with it so much and then maggie pointed this one out and i liked it, it just felt right. so! here we go. sorry for the long explanation... i just wanted to explain myself lollll here we go...

“Okay, so one of the shots I was really hoping for was to have one of us dip the other person for the kiss or photo or whatever, but I don’t really know which of you would be better for that, and who should do the dipping.” Louis raised his brows. “Do you have thoughts?”

“Well, I’d love to be a part of that, but Grim is a touch more coordinated than me. He should probably be the one getting dipped, though. Fair warning.”

Louis smirked. “Good to know.”

“Alright, well, come to me.”

Louis gasped and nearly started laughing at Harry trying to entice him to come closer, but before he could, Harry had reached out and pulled Louis flush against them, immediately capturing him in a kiss.

In an attempt to regain his balance, Louis’ arms flew out and wrapped around Harry’s neck. It meant that he was nearly even with Harry height wise, leaving him pressing up onto his toes, one foot slightly behind him, and pressed fully against Harry’s body. Nick wasn’t saying anything about their positioning, so Louis lifted one foot just in case the photo was able to capture it well and it looked alright.

“Oh my god, Harry’s giving you a foot poppin’ kiss!” Nick cried out, whooping a little bit. “I cannot believe I’m witnessing this right now. It feels like a momentous occasion.”

“Fuck off, Grim, you’re ruining the moment,” Harry griped before leaning back into Louis for another kiss, causing him to giggle.

12. How did you grow as a writer this year: i wrote a lot of long fics lolololol i honestly didn't think i was ever going to write a 50+k fic, and then this year i published four, and one of them broke 70k, which is insane. so yeah, that, plus also like...getting to write the a-spec alphas fic was a huge growing experience for me. plus i got to write girl payneshaw, which i never thought i would ever write, and a lewis/niall fic... i wrote a scottish character! how fun? ya know? just. i wrote a lot of stuff i just didn't think i would and i pushed boundaries i'd previously had, so it's just a year of a lot of growth in a lot of different ways imo

13. How do you hope to grow next year: i hope that i'm able to just keep that kind of openness and drive to write new things for me and keep enjoying it. that's the whole point, isn't it?

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc): oh shit this is like my nightmare, right? having to name one person. sigh. i've even been trying to think about this one for a few days, and i cannot begin to think which ONE??? there are so many people. sooooo many. the write your way out chat, anyone who sprinted with me to write, all the amazing artists i worked with in big bang and reverse bang this year (@rishimaaaaa, @moon-sun-thyme, and @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed love youuuu!!!!), allllll the betas and brit/scottish picks i worked with, just everyone. all of you. love you.

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year: too much, as per usual honestly, but for real, soooo many of louis' experiences in my a-spec alphas fic were based on feelings and experiences i've had, and then the entire basis of the fic Here We Come A-Wassailing is from my family's caroling tradition and how that has gone for over 20 years now lol the piano i described harry as haunting in On Christmas Day (In The Morning) is my parents' piano and the song harry struggles with is one of my sister's and my favorite christmas songs that my sister plays for us every year. lots of things, really, some bigger, some smaller. hehe

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers: just make sure you're happy writing, cause thats the whole point, right? to have fun and enjoy yourself! so yeah, i guess that is it. that and find your people. your people make all the difference, so make sure you're surrounding yourself with good ones.

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: lmaoooo STARTING THE BIG BANG I WAS SUPPOSED TO COMPLETELY WRITE DURING NANOWRIMO WOULD BE GREAT lolllll and a lot of others, to be honest. i have a lot of fics i want to write and hopefully i'll be able to write them this year lol

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read. i'm so late to this, so i'm just gonna tag @jaerie and @mercurial-madhouse but if anyone else wants to do this still and hasn't been tagged yet, this is me tagging you!

#sorry this is so late #sorry this is so long #omg i talk so much i'm so sorry guys it's been a TIME lol #2021 in fics #2021 review #self evaluation #i have no idea how to tag this lmao #about me #¯\__(ツ)__/¯

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rataltouille · 3 years

Text

HOUSE PLANTS, UPDATE 7

[novel intro can be found here]

HEY ACTUALLY I FINISHED THIS BOOK!

i don't want to get too sentimental [watch me proceed to get sentimental] but this book means a lot to me and i really could NOT have done it without the support of the wonderful folks on writeblr. the writing community is kind of the reason i even started this novel so it means a lot to me that i’ve met so many of y’all here. this is my first ever novel and i’m so glad i was able to make it so far! here are the final stats:

TOTAL WORD COUNT: 81,049 words.

STARTED: april 17, 2020

FINISHED: january 28, 2021

AVERAGE CHAPTERWISE WC: 3242

NUMBER OF CHAPTERS: 25

NUMBER OF TIMES LILITH SNAPS: 2

NUMBER OF TIMES LILITH SUFFERS: you know it’s too much to count.

the last month of writing this novel was so mixed. like before i hit the 70k mark i’d just been slogging through the novel, feeling uninspired and bored of the story. and then january hit and i was like. wait a minute. my deadline to finish it was the 31st of january. and so i basically startled myself into drafting again and then hit another wc milestone and that motivated me?? so much??? like i remember that drafting the penultimate chapter took me a pretty long time but it was so enjoyable because i was genuinely liking what i was writing and that hadn't been happening for the past few months. and then i wrote the entirety of the last chapter [it’s a vignette so it’s pretty short] for an hour until 1 am in my bed with the lights off and boom. it was such an experience. what makes it even more fun is that i’d drafted 75% of the book in my bed with the lights off at 1 am so this was such a nice full circle moment.

i’m also a little insane from all that lack of sleep but it’s okay we don't talk about that.

excerpts:

chapter twenty-one

this one’s a mix of the weirdest and most broad emotions. there’s a funeral in town, willow’s acting shadier than usual, lilith and juniper finally kiss, etc. etc. literally a rollercoaster. also it’s important that you guys know they kissed in a graveyard. nothing’s more romantic than that amirite.

Residual— that’s how we all felt. Just shells that wash away right before they touch land. We lingered like sleep at dawn, like medicine rimming the lip of cough syrup bottles, like fingerprints on fresh glass. There wasn't a permanence in the way we persisted, because eventually, one leaves their nest. They untether from the source in pursuit of the world. How would a dead girl do that? She won’t reside on the fringes of life like a bad dream.

god this prose is so depressing. even i’m getting sad over it and i’m literally an emotionless husk of a person. hey but the description slaps so enjoy.

also if you’ve noticed i’ve been sharing excerpts less and less in the updates despite the chapters being longer on length [these chapters average at like. 5k words] and that’s because i’m finding it harder to share stuff that doesn’t need context / isn't spoilery.

chapter twenty-two

ah yes the angstiest chapter, probably. something happens to willow that lilith blames herself for and this kicks off the final cluster of events that lead to the climax. i love this chapter because lilith gets angry [but at the wrong person aka herself] and we get to see this side of her she always tries to hide!! another thing that happens is that her garden withers so that’s a fun trip

My garden could have been a fallen kingdom. The ferns were rotting from under the flap, their spores gone. Gardenia blooms had split with their petals discarded like an evening gown all around the pots. The mint had binary fissioned and lay in shreds, the jasmine wilted and spread. All of them like war dolls, casualties of my ignorance, beyond saving.

poor garden :/

chapter twenty-three

this chapter. exists i guess. ISDNJSDUH i sound so disillusioned but essentially this chapter was supposed to end on a the ✨big reveal✨ that the book has been leading up to but then something. happened. and i had to move that into the next chapter and so nothing actually happens in this one! like it’s all important things and we’re setting up tension but overall it’s the least eventful of the final story arc.

We stepped together into our house; it had been abandoned for a day but was the exact same. Dust hadn't suddenly piled up in the threshold, sticking to our soles. The air hadn't musted over in the house’s grieving for its sole occupants. The bathtub was still filled. The water skimmed the floor, and I’d decided. I’d stay with you for the whole week, the fortnight, the month, the year. I’d stay inside with you, because me leaving the house, me choosing to spend any second of my life without caring for you, was a mistake. I’d always seen you as fragile, quiet like moth wings and just as delicate. Maybe I’d needed to feel I was protector just as much as I thought you needed me.

i really like this excerpt because it’s very simple and light in terms of prose but also the implications and that purposeful telling at the end really stick with me. exposing lilith since 2k20.

As morning rose the next day, like a curtain lifting, the sun picked itself up from the horizon, shattering cloudlines in a bright, orange glow. The skies got clearer by the hour as summer sauntered in again. Already the habits of my grounding were kicking in; my circadian rhythm bounded to my outside, too, as I instinctively scheduled and compartmentalized my daily life. First, wake up, check on you. Finish chores while making sure you’re alright. School, eaten with worry, but you're capable and you’ll call if you need help. Home, count your pulse as you inevitably slumped in plush sleep— at the coffee table, at the bathtub, in Aunt Hailey’s chair (rare), in your bedroom (rarer). You’d wake for dinner and read until the lights begin to dim and your eyesight tripped. You’d doze off for the rest of the night. Your internal clock was more functional, more efficient, than mine.

obligatory rhythmic everyday life excerpt that's reminiscent of 2020.

chapter twenty-four

THE PENULTIMATE CHAPTER! THE LONGEST CHAPTER!! THE ONE WHERE SHIT GOES DOWN!!! [can you tell it’s my fave chapter]

this took me two whole weeks to draft [it’s around 7.2k words] but it was so enjoyable the whole time!! there’s something so satisfying about making the quiet character, the one who never express anger, finally snap. so satisfying. lilith is actually pretty feral in this and we all stan. it also has a lot of simpler yet more sharp prose? if you know me you know that repetition is literally my favourite device ever. i overuse repetition it’s actually insane. and this one has a lot of that, but in a way that isn't annoying, and i really enjoyed writing it!!

I’d never been in your bathtub before. You haunted the room and it was always yours; I didn’t consider running the tap for myself. Maybe your going out prompted me this time. The water was so high it sloshed over the lip of the tub. The floor was slick like eels’ skin. My skin was blue with cold; the chill gummed my cheeks and ears and I shivered. My reflection stared at me in hatred, the features warped and pulled like taffy. I half-floated, a ghost in liminal space, and the walls were choked with water lines and flower patterns. With my body invaded by alien frost, with the ceiling low and cruel and ready to crush, I cowered. How did you do this every day? Did the clothes make the difference?

lilith’s going through it again ft. willow’s bathtub.

after this it’s a lot of incredibly spoilery stuff!! like the prose slaps but it’s too many spoilers to share. but have another description of the heaviness of midnight because i’m obsessed with that aesthetic

The lock clicked behind me. Silence descended like birdsong and I was paralysed, stuck at the two half-stairs that led to the outer path, stuck at the threshold of no return. My body shook. All around me was nighttime, gooey and heavy. I was unfurling, like a rose, step after step, pushing past the gate and onto the road. The wind was so cold it frosted my tears.

btw the chapter does not end on lilith crying she kind of has a girlboss moment and snaps massively [i mean after all she’s been through she deserves it] and then the main story aka the fictive past ends.

chapter twenty-five

the final chapter, which also happens to be a vignette chapter and is thus set in the fictive present! it’s very short and is only one tiny scene but it really ends on the perfect tonal quality for the novel. i can't share any excerpts because it really is very short so! have this iconic screenshot i took as soon as i finished the draft instead:

[also if you were wondering yes i did type the entire novel [and basically everything i write] on my ipad because i don't own a laptop]

and that really is it! this was such an incredible journey and i’m so excited to share more of my newer writing and upcoming projects with y’all. it feels so weird that this really is the last time i’ll be making official posts about this novel. truly the end of an era.

house plants taglist: @discreet-writer @mp-golfin @jaydewritesfiction @writer-in-monochrome @magnus-s-writes @firesidefantasy @sugarlessbubblegum @theoldcity @n1ghth4wkz @remi-writes-sometimes @suninks @dreamybellatrixanvm @camusbf @fablemancy @isherwoodj @svpphicwrites @spillme @sunwornpages @bijouxs @asadlitficwriter @bookphobe @sirius-xthem @carlyiswriting @hekat-ie

general taglist: @lovingyou-is @haldimilks @andiwriteunderthemoon @coffeeandcalligraphy @shaelinwrites @tuoyu @charles-joseph-writes @eklavvya @wolf-oak @bitterwitchwrites @laughtracksonata @whatwordsdidnttouch @indeliblewrites @thenataliawrites @illimani-gibberish @sienna-writes @jennawritesstories @chloeswords @aelenko @keira-is-writing @cherylinanika @infinitely-empty-pages @jmtwrites @august-iswriting @sarahkelsiwrites @freedelusionbanana

tumblr is being. really really annoying and wont let me edit on the browser so i’ve got the 50 mentions per post mobile thing to deal with. the rest of the taglist will be tagged in a reblog!

#writeblr #am writing #crabappletracking #wtwcommunity #atlastracking #ofcolourtracking #house plants #house plants update #everybody say “goodbye house plants” as i yeet willow off a good somewhere #just ignore how i’ve actually finished the book and this update is a month late please and thank you <3

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maysleen · 2 years

Text

ED trigger warning

On the rise of eating disorder recovery accounts on instagram: As someone who has been struggling with an eating disorder for the past 7 years (more or less), my relationship with social media has been an off and on kind of thing. I don't post anymore, but I follow people. At first, these recovery blogs caught my eye, I kept saving their posts and following a few; one girl has a podcast that I found helpful at times. But as I kept seeing more and more blogs like this, I started to feel bothered by them, even though I'd still look at them. So I'm making these points:

1. for me at least, looking at what other people eat is a trigger. looking at what a person who, supposedly, has reached a point where they have started to recover eats, is even worse: the "what I eat in a day in recovery" has more than once made me compare how much I eat to how much someone who is trying to gain weight eats. When eating my own meals I would think about how I'm eating more than someone who is actually trying to gain

2. is it really helpful to them, the creators of those accounts? Having your meals journaled and witnessed by so many people cannot sound good. Not to mention the kind of comments you're exposed to getting. Say you posting your food can be a meal idea for someone who's also in recovery. But what if said people can't afford that kind of food? What if their needs are different? Can you be sure your post, while perhaps positive for someone, can be just as damaging to others? Not to mention, I've witnessed people posting those positive messages while saying how well they're doing and at the same time visibly getting sicker. And my issue with that is yes, eds are tricky and you can't be blamed for relapsing or refusing to accept that you are, but how will that person who has been following you perceive themselves looking back on your posts? And to circle back to this point's premise, is it really helpful to you?

3. It just feels like a neverending concept. What happens when you feel you have recovered? Do you let go of your blog? Will your ed, given this context, ever let you say "I am recovered"? And if you do, and you one day make that post that states it, won't your followers compare how you look as a recovered person to what they currently look like? What do you think your fanbase thinks? Who is it made up of? People who are in recovery, people who are actively looking for things that trigger them (I am one, I will admit. It's why I don't like them. They feed my ed because my ed wants to be fed so it searches for that)? So isn't this just a toxic exchange?

4. The happy go lucky attitude. To be honest, I feel wrong for this because I think "ok so what kind of attitude should these posts have?" and that right there is an argument. You can't possibly have an appropriate attitude because these pages shouldn't exist. Recovery is personal, there's no general recipe, you can't be the one to ask people if they've eaten yet or to tell them how easy it is to conquer your fears if you put your mind to it. And yes maybe this page is just for you, just something to help you and not others. But if it was really like that, would you be making it public? Why?

I personally considered making one myself, yes. I said to myself "just for me" and then I thought... Be honest with yourself, why do you want to do this? And I realized it was because it would help me be in control of my meals, track my meals (not in a recovery positive way btw) and it would put me in the public eye, so I'd have to behave. So would my followers. Maybe some blogs are good, maybe some are helpful, I'm yet to be convinced that it's overall a positive thing.

#if we could just stop ever talking about bodies and food...#Just... everyone with their own lives #eating disorders

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neo-shitty · 3 years

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before reading back before sundown, i did a research on slendy para wala lang background info 😌 anyways, gRABE KINALIBUTAN AKO SAGAD. binasa ko siya at like, madaling araw kahapon edi naka patay ilaw, takot na takot aq 👁️👄👁️ at first, sobrang bilis ng tibok ng puso ko bc i have no idea whats going to happen. fear of the unknown ✨ waw taray. okay yung start in a way na fluffy shit sya, one couple tatakas lang to the forest para mag picnic aaaaa. if you didnt read the warnings, you wouldnt think na nakakatakot xd. “Gotta get back home,” you thought you heard him murmur. “Gotta get you back home,” -> from this palang, i knew things are going to go down. ang creepy pero ang ganda at the same time :">> grabe galing mo talaga mag sulat. btw, is this inspired from the news na dalawang 12 year olds stabbed their friends for slendy? IM NOT SURE ABT THE CONTEXT AND DI KO NA BABALIKAN UNG SITE NA EON PRA TIGNAN ULET KC DI KO TLGA KERI Y^Y and this, "You wondered if Minho made it back before sundown unlike you did." got me deeply thinking if reader wanted slendy to also kill minho or kUNG SIGN TOH NA MAY PAKE PA DEN SHA SKNYA ket na may betrayal na naganap oofff :<<

it was a good thing i read patch up after bbs. stress na stress ako don sa sobrang intense lmao. THIS STORY IS SO CUTE HUHU. i can literally hear the "bat ka nakatitig sakin? crush moko noh?" (translated it para mas feel 🤩) kinilig ako sagad. lakas maka tsundere vibes ni ate girl nung una, galet pero inalagaan pa din si minho :">>

naunahan pa pala ni reader ayusin yung kurtina sa five star kesa kay chan 😭 changbins character is relatable af bc i also dont have any idea how to cook decent dishes. hanggang prito at pancit canton lang aabot bente pesos ko. back in 9th grade, baking lesson namen sa tle so our project was abt making cakes. we INTENTLY followed the instructions pero ampanget nung lasa nung souffle iyaqs. first of all, ang tigas niya for some reason. secondly, naparami ata ng asukal kasi legit lasang asukal lang siya. for last, tigas nya. inulit ko kasi para siyang bato. anyways, cuddles after a tiring day is 👌👌👌

ketchup talaga pinaalala saken mga childhood memories ✨ i actually didnt expect na this is about the game lol we used to play this everyday back then. there was a time na i used to have a classmate na sobrang lakas mamalo tas dagdag pa na ayaw tanggalin yung singsing :// lahat ng kalaban nya nandudugo ung kamay grabe, buti di ko sha close di kame nag pplay HAHASDHAHFDHJSDFJ idk why pinapabayaan lang na may singsing sya. YUNG STORY grabe na speechless ako sa kilig hahshfahdsdfaahdf when jisung kissed readers hand napa nAURRRR BAT KA GANYAN ako :>> ang sweet lng kasi naaalala pa den nila yung isat isa kahit after ilang years na.

okay nct fics road nako pag may time ulet <333

SA TOTOO LANG AAAAAAA may damit pa den naman kami, maling color lang 😭 same want ko mag join new servers pero tinatamad ako makipag interact sa mga bagong tao aaaa di ko lam buckettttt. thank you huhu pati nasimulan q na ung auto bio beh, naka 1.5 wc ako, 1 whole page 😌 okay na eon pang conclude na lang eme eme kasi 1-2 pages lang naman requirement.

third day palang ng second semester pero dami ng tinambak ~.~ pero keri aaaa. take ur time answering lagi :3 bz den nmn ako dsjfboaoada hbu?? may ganap ba?

- 👻

thank you for reading the fics omfg :((( the effort!

why did you read back before sundown at that time omf HAHAH cant blame you tho i wrote that at midnight and scared myself when my dog moved something outside. the picnic was so unplanned but i had to incorporate a request. i actually planned on including your request too? pero di na kaya :< i worry about the people who don't read warnings T_T it ended up pretty gory in the end. minho best boyfriend <33 thank you :(( not really proud of my writing recently bc of the lack of feedback so the few that i get means a lot.

and yes! it's inspired by that story. you can watch bailey sarian's slendy episode. it's scary bc it happened irl :// highkey imagine mc being kind enough to not wish the worst kay minho? she's just wondering if minho made it back home after what he did like if slendy kept his end of the bargain and left minho alone ganorn.

HAHAHAHA at least you have a lighter fic to keep your mind off it T_T RIGHT. minho really gives off the crush who likes to tease you a lot vibes. this fic is me addressing something that actually happened; the little accident plus the project i couldn't do on my own and a few other things you can take a guess at. i just bumped the feelings up a notch.

omfg five star ;n; HAHAH i srb-ed this the day chan fixed the curtains. officially not realistic na hMp. i, too, do not know how to cook decent dishes. i miss g9 TLE :(( but we never got to cook sa school kasi ayaw nila?? i didn't get it. so what was the point of the lesson ?n? i want to try baking a cake someday tho >:( ewan ko pa kung kelan yun pero bucketlist ko na yan >:( us2 q rin ng cuddle >:(

tangent, NATANONG KO NA BA SAYO KUNG SINO BIAS MO SA SKZ??@#?! i can't seem to recall it ;n;

HAHAHAHA lagi nalang nagiging pun yung title ng hanji fics ko :'( and i'm not even doing it on purpose :'( that's one ruthless classmate tho e.e KAYA NGAAAA bat pinapabayaan lang siya T_T i liked playing ketchup a lot too. i actually miss it. THIS STORY IS CORNY AS FUCK kadiri. the kiss was just a prompt really. i wish i had childhood memories with some guy na ganon. all i remember i someone i couldn't stand HAHAH e2l ba kwento ko

do take your time with the nct fics. tread lightly tho, they're not the most reader friendly HAHHA or idk just bad writing ig tas konte palang nasusulat ko for them kasi ang dami nila tapos di ko bet sulatan lahat e.e 'di ko bet' meaning i can't come up with characters that would suit them ganon.

HAHAHHA maling color lang T_T it's pointless talaga. why do schools keep on hindering us from expressing ourselves char HAHAH dapat yung nirerequire nalang sa inyo decent clothing lang para presentable. also regarding the servers, i actually get anxious interacting with new people too HAHAH i'm in one big server (aside from the tumblr networks) and thats about it. i can't make friends anymore e.e good luck with the conclusion sa auto biography!! buti di masyado mahaba yung required sa inyo.

hala second semester na kayo o.O bilis naman. good luck getting thru the mga tinambak HAHAH i want to finish all accounting related activities today. hopefully i'll do it now and give future me a break. nothing much happened yesterday e.e i just finished a book; kinda thinking of taking a break from writing pero idk i can never walk away from anything that easily. napadaldal aq sensya na xd

hope you're doing okay today!!

#toff.asks #👻

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