#pf-did

[reimeichan]

Despite having fused down to 6 named alters now (Gray, Green, Purple, Crimson, Azure, and <redacted>), my system is still pretty obviously polyfragmented. We still have unknown parts popping in fairly regularly to make themselves known, or we feel them passively influence us in ways inconsistent with the currently known parts. I can still see the many layers of complexity within the system even within these 6 named alters.

Tbh, I had wondered if my system would still be considered "polyfrag" once we fused down enough, and at this point I'm fairly convinced that yeah, we would be. Gray actually split into quite a few parts the other day due to something that nearly sent us to the hospital (we're fine), and the way our brain still seems to hold onto all these little fragmented pieces in their tangled web of structure despite otherwise having fused down a lot really puts into perspective that there really do seem to be fundamental differences between polyfragmented vs non-polyfragmented systems. And there are some other things tipping me off that our system structure is at its core still as complex as ever, but that's not something I'm willing to detail on my public blog.

#did #dissociative identity disorder #actually did #actuallydid #did osdd #osddid #cdd #polyfrag #polyfragmented #pfdid #pf did #pf-did #polyfragmented did #c-did #complex did #fusion #by redacted #about gray #about green #about purple #about crimson #about azure

[doomsdayradio]

nah genuine question so we're polyfrag and one of our alters is literally like a bunch of semi-fused fragments that all function and identify under the same identity like is that a subsystem? what the fuck do you call that bro😭 this has been confusing me for over a year

#words words words !! #🧋 #polyfragmented system #polyfrag #polyfrag system #c-did #pf did #pf-did #cdd #complex dissociative disorder #did #did system #osddid #polyfrag tag

[theforest-system]

i have entire warrior cats clan sidesystem and they refuse to front bc they hate “twolegs” and the “monsters” are scary and loud. what the fuck /polite

#c did #did #did system #dissociative system #polyfrag system #polyfragmented #pf-did #c-did #simply plural

[rubys-delusions]

very funny how being in denial about DID goes from “wow im nothing like other systems” to “wow im nothing like other systems because its worse than i thought”

#i say worse with very loose quotations this is about my experience with dissociation not yours. if this applies great if it doesnt move on #polyfragmented #cdid #dissociative identity disorder #pf-did

[sicksadstar]

#Youtube #youtube videos #youtube #our youtube videos #meet the alters #did system #did #system #dissociative identity disorder #cdid #pdid #pfdid #hcdid #c did #p did #pf did #hc did #c-did #p-did #pf-did #hc-did #polyfragmented #polyfragmented system #polyfragmented did #polyfragmented dissociative identity disorder

[dissociativediscourse]

unfortunately i have come to the realization that i am possibly polyfragmented due to Recent Happenings and the fact that i learned a lot of my parts are actually just a bunch of fragments in a trenchcoat (like part a will have four or five fragments inside, part b will have one or two, some have none, then there's some subsystems that i absolutely have no access to at all and total blackout amnesia and it's just layers and layers of bullshit [insert tired emoji])

i cannot begin to count them all (it's impossible since a lot r so underdeveloped and just hold like one single thing almost like they're fragments or smth lol) but i am curious if u have anywhere to start in terms of like. find brain something other than split to do when only minor trauma happens so i can be a little more stable.

my therapist has not been good for me lately and im actively searching for a new one but it's taking a bit. i have a good psychiatrist but i just want to be able to try and help myself a little beyond just getting meds straight yk? and i look up to ur blog since ur well-read and stuff <3

sorry for anon just dont want to out myself as more traumatized than i seem bc Scary

also u definitely do not have to reply, ik u put a lot of time and work into writing and u may not have it atm!! ur very cool and i hope ur having a wonderful day

Hey, anon. I’m so sorry it has taken me so long to get to this. I have severe issues getting things done until it just Happens, sometimes and I hope you’re doing okay. I completely misremembered this ask as well and had come up with a plan to respond to it a certain way only to realize that, I don’t need to do any of that. Whoops.

Splitting happens often in polyfragmentation because the child begins to dissociate very young. Like, pre-mobility young. This can be from something like stressful things in the environment/yelling/really anything that would stress a baby to the point of triggering fight or flight. Which is a lot of shit. It does not always have to be from direct abuse.

The reason this is a factor is because at that time in a child’s life, they are unable to make use of any coping mechanism or response that is NOT dissociation, especially when they don’t receive appropriate comfort from a caregiver.

This effectively means that if you’re polyfragmented, your first and possibly only coping mechanism for a while is dissociation and therefore splitting. The best way to work to break this cycle is to develop new coping mechanisms and work to stabilize, whether that’s in therapy (recommended once you find a therapist that works. I would be up front and honest with any therapist you talk to— don’t want to end up with a therapist that doesn’t work for you. Trust me, it works wonders) or on your own.

This means CBT. This means DBT, sometimes. This means removing yourself from certain situations you know are stressful to you when you’re able, until you’re able to handle them. This means being extremely mindful of your behaviors and why they happen and how you can change them to be healthier, without getting down on yourself and spiraling. This means cutting out unhealthy patterns and unhealthy people and finding new things to do that can help you rather than hinder you.

Finding new coping mechanisms when it comes to something like dissociation isn’t really easy. At all. But it’s necessary to heal. It’s not something that happens fast, but it’s worth it. A great step towards this is grounding when you’re stressed and notice yourself starting to drift off, when your vision starts to get blurry or when you start to feel detached. This requires a lot of mindfulness and practice, which really mainly consists of paying attention to your behaviors without assigning any value to them. Just making sure that you know what you’re doing. It’s extremely important when it comes to trauma responses, and can be very revealing and help you to be the best you that you can be.

You can use whatever grounding technique you like, but a few of my favorites are:

Looking around the room you’re in and naming/talking about objects (out loud helps) and maybe even their stories and how they relate to you. Whatever comes naturally.

Remind yourself of the exact date and time. Year, month, day, time. Your location. That whatever has happened is not happening right now, and that you are in the present and safe.

Run your hands under ice cold water/feel something cold/shit, I have put ice cubes in my clothes before. I’ve stepped out into the snowy weather before. Sudden, severe temperature change can jolt you back to reality.

Splash cold water on your face. This actually triggers an instinct that humans have called the Plunge Response, and will force you to breathe deeply and a few other things that are amazing for grounding. It works.

Remember that meds are only part of the solution. You won’t get far with just medication, as it seems like you know. You need to first stabilize on your own and in therapy and develop healthy coping mechanisms, and then you’ll be able to process the traumas you’ve experienced safely. Without stabilization, this is unadvisable. I did trauma processing before stabilization when I was younger. It fucked me up. I split, certain alters became known to me that I wasn’t ready for, and I was stuck in that place for a long time. Be careful and don’t deep dive until you’re ready. The therapist you have needs to know how to treat complex trauma and stabilize you, and you need to work towards stabilization on your own as well.

I hope I explained everything well, and if you have any more questions at all or I left anything out that I might not have caught, please feel free to DM me or send another ask. I promise it won’t take nearly as long as this time. And again, I’m extremely sorry it did take this long. I hope you see this and are doing well!

#asks #polyfragmented #pf-did #polyfragmentation #dissociative identity disorder #did advice

[newgroundstier]

i thuink doppelgilly shoulda rode around on the funny doggys like horseys :)

#jrwi #doppelgilly #funny doggys #*stumbles out of sai canvas covered in blood* i finished it #i started these when the first doppelgilly ep came out n finishing them took 4everrrrr !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #i didnt wanna start any new jerwee pics while i was drawin this bc i knew id likely abandon it lol. .......................... #AND I WANTED 2 FINISH IT !!!!!! BC ITS COOL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #tho i did technically do a new jerwee pic when i did the gil vs drift comm hehe #anyways if the gang ever. for some reason. went on a doppelgilly soul retrieval quest (and succeeded) i fear i would bcome obsessed w/ him #pf

[xamaxenta]

@jaditestuff ty for your commission request, i swear to god i tried so many iterations of adding in yoru and i really couldn’t figure it out im super gomenasorry i hope shanks looking handsome and holding hawky is enough to distract you from this error of ways 🥺🙏🏽

#shanks x mihawk #mishanks #??? is that their ship name??? #shanks turned out shockingly handsome so im pretty stoked about that #xam doodies #xam commissions #wahoo thank you so much!!!! #i did try my best with your provided pose reference which was helpful but bc these are half body shots jt was a little difficult #i had to take liberties… see lack pf sword #the sword wouldve made the whole thing super jank #ngl id totally draw thwm again but with my own composition with fhat sword if you want #my brain just didnt want to work with adding a sword to the mix i wanna do better 😔😭😭😭😭😭 #but also i never draw these dudes so i hope its ok!!

[mossy-box]

Me when

#they’re dumb shirts I found on Pinterest #so I went ahead and did this #Peepaw leo #future leo #future leonardo #f!leo #f!leonardo #rottmnt leo #rottmnt leonardo #rottmnt #my art #my doodles #moss art #aka me #tw suggestive #kind pf #it’s really just for the joke #you know how teens are lmao

[royalarchivist]

Wilbur: Everyone give it up for Alex Quackity! Thank you.

A close-up of one of the TNTduo hugs from the Lovejoy concert :')

#Lovejoy #Quackity #Wilbur #TNTduo #Wilbur Soot #Not even sure who to credit for this video because it's been reposted like. A billion times. #I'm sharing it because I did the zoom + tracking so we get to see the hug better #but I'm going to update this with the video credit as soon as I figure out who the OP is #I know most fans don't care about video crediting but I DO #anyways #Also don't worry I'm not going to spam everyone's timelines with every single video from the Lovejoy concert #I'm picking and choosing the best ones #I'll see if I can compile a multiple POV video #but most people are reposting the same videos over and over #so we'll see how that goes #Also it's worth repeating: I use the TNTduo tag as a DUO name #not a ship name #You are never going to see R/PF on this blog lmao #Gosh. The way he puts his head on Quackity's shoulder :'))) #my heart is soft #makes me think about how Quackity said he was proud of Wilbur #hang on I'm gonna post that #December 11 2022 #The lights are always so pretty at these concerts

[sunflowersoap]

Thoughts so far from revisiting the beginning of Omori, and the implications it has about Sunny:

The way, like other people pointed out, Kel is constantly poked fun of in headspace due to Sunnys jealousy, yet is also shown to be so so treasured by Sunny? The way in his dream he literally is shown to hide right next to Omori so he doesn't have to be alone. That's something Sunny thinks Kel would do. Which, very interesting and sweet to me! I wonder if Kel did something like that in real life and it meant a lot to Sunny.

The way Sunny invented a scene in his brain where he'd have to save Basil is very, *very* interesting in context. I wonder if it was an outlet for his guilt around wondering if Basil was okay, wondering if maybe if he's in danger. He invents a scenario where he rescues Basil and everything's okay. Also the way he is so forgiving of Boss mixed with how so many things in black space, which I will remind you *is Sunnys worst fears*, involve him trusting Omori way too much and leading to him dying horribly. In this, Boss would never hurt Basil, everyone's protective of Basil, everything's fine. But Boss is juuuust a little of that fear creeping in, I think. Also the aspect of Basil being hurt for something he didn't do in Omoris mind. Just a little bit of that fear sneaking in.

Basil telling Mari she's got everything under control, and Mari says "That's not true at all! It just seems that way from the outside!" when real world Mari was said to have very rarely ever shown what she was feeling. Aubrey says she only ever saw her cry once. So Sunny knew it was hard for her, saw her mess up and stress (ex: the fucking duet practice), and noted in his head everyone else thought she was perfect. I wonder if he resented her for it some way.

It's interesting how that scene of Basil being hurt for something (in sunnys mind) he didn't do and that scene of Mari admitting shes not perfect happened just before the truth starts to surface. I wonder if that was the tipping point, he started considering "Basil could be hurt for someone else's fuck up" and "Mari isn't perfect", and suddenly everything falls apart. That little slip and suddenly it's all up in flames. Very interesting how suddenly from this point on, Mari is made into a perfect angel.

There's more but I am exhausted /lh and need some rest, so! Will continue later.

#omori spoilers #omori #omori sunny #sunny omori #basil omori #omori basil #omori kel #kel omori #omori mari #mari omori #to be clear the whole uh. jumprope thing? #basils decision too. #which btw i think is sunny stripping him pf all fault and making it all HIS fault #which very interesting! because basil did EXACTLY THAT with him and Something

[freakthingg]

shoutout to people who have persecutors that are genuinely dangerous. persecutors who are abusive to other parts in the system. persecutors who recreate abuse by beating, s/aing, and killing other parts. persecutors who have to be locked up or kept from front for the safety of the system and the body. persecutors who target children, or animals, or other vulnerable alters in the system.

not all persecutors are the edgy, meany part who says not nice things sometimes. some persecutors are genuinely horrible to the rest of the system or those outside it even. not all of them can 'get better' by being talked to gently and told nice words. some need to be locked in places insys or otherwise punished for the safety of the system itself.

i'm not a bad person for having parts like this, nor am i bad person for the way i HAVE to deal with them. i cannot heal them on my own, i need a therapist in order to safely do so. and that doesn't make me a shitty person.

#actually traumatized #actually abused #osddid #endos dni #non traumagenic dni #traumagenic #polyfragmented #polyfrag system #ramcoa system #cdid #cdid system #pfdid #pf did #persecutor

[aajfa]

dont you think its crazy how big top is where its revealed that franziska considers edgeworth a little brother and its also a case about an older brother attempting to enact revenge against the person he perceives as having killed his younger brother. and missing the mark completely both on who he should be getting revenge against but also failing to get it against the person he’s attempting to kill. food for thought

#‘’​big top is about annoying characters’’ to YOU. to me it is much deeper #sorry im vagueing a post i saw sorry for thinking big top did a lot pf interesting things if you allow it to be more than its glaring flaws #usual disclaimer i understand why ppl hate it okayyyyy i do im not minimizing that aspect of it #whatever you have to allow tumblr user aajfa to like aajfa. like its my fault #t #ace attorney

[night-dark-woods]

#my post #polls #i know we are missing wh13 oitnb and poi. off the top pf my head. #but firstable person of interest is better than this poll. #second. it didnt get The Fandom Migration that these did of the BNFs. #this is also live action tv shows. i know that AT>SU>LOK>SPOP>TOH is there. and also rwby. #and warrior nun for live action. but this is about the rise and fall of queerbaiting babey!

[thestarseersystem]

Being polyfragmented is SO WEIRD. It is like a pretty unstable form of regular DID. I say this with my own experience in mind, and having seen other people's experiences.

Like, it doesn't present at all like its got a million dissociative barriers, and the barriers between some alters are thinner than others.

I can't help but notice that those who are polyfragmented tend to have trauma surrounding being gaslit and have a hard time accepting themselves in any capacity. Like there is no singular self state that they can look to and say "That is real". Its always more than one, or a changing self state, a swirling pot of attributes.

I wonder if being gaslit or made to feel like you're crazy, any way links up to the development of one's disorder. Because being gaslit isn't just being lied to, it makes you feel like you are not the one being honest, like you are overexaggerating or lying or denying something or the one who is crazy, that you are not trustworthy to see reality.

I don't think every polyfragmented system has this, but it is quite a lot of them, to which has an incredibly unstable self-state. Including myself. I not only have two co-hosts (three in total), but I also have many, MANY self state fragments and introjects, forming my own sort of collective. I feel the large amount of alters and fragments are to help strengthen the self state, and the dissociation exists within the self too, not just with the other.

And this is not to say that's not how all systems work. Technically all alters are part of the self and exist within the self. But for most systems, that's not how it actually presents itself to be. There is you and other alters, there is you and other parts.

Within polyfragmented systems, however, there is not just you and other parts, but different parts within the part that is you. Different self states within your main self state. Even though other alters are also technically part of you, they are different from self parts and fragments that make you up. Almost every separated alter, in my system, has some self state part within them. I refer to those self state parts (usually fragments) as asteroids and every separated alter to be planets. And any subsystem alter to be a moon.

And that adds up to be many, many alters. The original definition of polyfragmented happens to be "100+ alters", but never explains why. And polyfragmented systems seem to be structurally different from regular DID, so polyfragmented doesn't make sense that its left as "big system" as the main definition. In fact, big systems won't always have this unstable structure of systemhood.

And I do find it to be unstable. Many polyfragmented systems that I've met have had an internal rearranging and reforming of different alters, ending up with an unstable self, able to change at any sign of danger. But there are other polyfragmented systems like me, who create collections of alters, adding more when there is more stressors. And instead of reforming, each alter gains more. Each subsystem grows larger, each collection becomes bigger. And yes, there will be some alters that don't exist within other's orbit, but are not connected specifically. These alters will eventually form their own orbit at some point. Odds and ends have their uses.

And I don't know if there is a structural form of dissociation beyond tertiary, and its possible that polyfragmented systems are unstable because they have two structures on top of one another.

And this may explain why polyfragmented systems present similar to systems with no amnesia. Because they are a mix of multiple dissociative structures, causing them to have a more unique or unstable experience.

And this is not to say this makes those who are polyfragmented, to have more severe trauma. I doubt that is the case. Even though ritual abuse or religious abuse is common in those who have this type of dissociative disorder. I feel like the reasons for that is because of how ritual abuse manipulates its victim, to alter their perceptions and control their perceptions. Similar to how people, who are victims of gaslighting, have altered perceptions due to the way that they were abused.

And I feel as though those with polyfragmented systems have inconsistent perceptions due to that trauma. Even if different alters hold different memories, its precisely why, that we have such an inconsistent perception and memory. Even within one's own self state, there is inconsistencies for a reason. And it's trying to combat the specific type of abuse/trauma that they faced.

So, I don't obviously have a bunch of sources, this is all just conjecture. Stuff I've learned via my own experiences, research, what people have told me, and posts I've read within this community. But, this may be an important post for people to think about, build upon or look into. I surely do not have all the answers, but I recommend anyone reading this, to look into things I've mentioned further. Hopefully, as a community, we can figure things out together.

#post.txt #polyfragmented #polyfragmentation #pf did #polyfrag #actually polyfrag #actually polyfragmented #cdid #i would appreciate if people took my words seriously and not brush them off #but also like... do your own research

[wxrmeaterz]

fragments arent "incomplete" alters

we are just much more hyperspecific in role .. eg existing as an emotional state or holding specific memories or trauma events

#endos dni #actually polyfrag #polyfrag did #polyfrag system #polyfragmented #pf did #actually did #did system #did alter #did osdd #osdd #cdd system #osddid #endos fuck off