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luxvitae · 7 years

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Tell Me (Tell Me) | Jimin

⇢3.8k

⇢Two years without closure, yet here the both of you were on the chopping block, question after question about things that were better left unknown.

You knew you were fucked the moment you walked through those doors of your best friend’s bachelorette party to see the one person you swore to never see again. Two years was a long time, but was proving to be not long enough as the dull ache in your chest grew increasingly painful the closer you got to the dark eyed, tall, black-haired man, the only man that could reel you in only to let all the oxygen leave your soul before tossing you back into the water: Park Jimin.

Eyes meeting his, it felt as if something had exploded within you all over again, just like the first time, except different. It wasn’t the type of explosion that had you bubbling over with excitement and happiness, no. This explosion felt like an atomic bomb, clearing whatever sources of joy you had left with destruction and grief and leaving nothing behind but a painful reminder of what was. And your discomfort must have shown of your face, it should have, as he approached you with careful steps and measured breaths, regarding you with a caution that was all too suffocating.

“Hey,” he smiled, as if nothing was wrong; as if he hadn’t spent the last two years wallowing in misery, and the matter of the fact was that he probably didn’t. He probably spent the last two years living out his life, going on his own crazy adventures, doing all the things that he couldn’t do with you because that’s what made him happy. And god did you resent him so much for it.

“Hi,” you muttered, plastering on the best facade of happiness you could pull off without ripping your skin into a forceful smile. As he looked upon you, he genuinely looked content, any ounce of discomfort went without notice and you couldn’t stand it.

You couldn’t stand the way he looked at you as if the small infinity the two of you shared together was well spent; as if he was at ease with how things ended. He looked at you with eyes of satisfaction as if he was utterly pleased with himself on how he absolutely obliterated you, leaving behind fragments of your heart for you to pick up on your way back to him even when you knew he did nothing wrong and it was just your wishful thinking that he did because, dear god, would it have been so much easier to move on if that were the case.

“How have you been?,” he asks, eyes refusing to leave yours because he believed in connection, as if he had ever had a problem with keeping your attention.

“Good,” you lied straight through your teeth. If he knew, he didn't say, but you know he caught on; he always knew when it came to you. But you needed to be okay. You had no idea why, it wasn’t as if he was expecting you to be, but you were. Two years past, why wouldn’t you be okay?

And if it wasn’t for the absolute terror you held in regard to those dangerously beautiful eyes, you would have been falling all over again. You would have gone tumbling on a downward spiral, never finding the momentum to stop. The worst part? He would have been the one to push you. And you would let him. Over and over and over again just for the fleeting moment before he would leave you to plummet.

Another beat of silence fell upon the both of you, neither of you willing to take the first step into closure. Your heart was beating erratically for all the wrong reasons; you weren’t scared of him, but rather yourself. You didn’t know what you were capable of, you didn’t know what you would do if you got the least bit carried away. There was always that unsettling impression that once you lost the tight grip you had on yourself, there was no way you were coming back.

“That’s good,” he chuckled, prompting you to ask him the same in return, but honestly, you didn’t want to know. You didn’t want the validation that he’s fine and okay and functional without you because lord knows you were nothing when he left. It was as if he was mocking you when you knew he wasn’t, prodding you, pushing you over the edge to another breakdown that you promised yourself you’d never have again.

So you didn’t ask him. Not because you didn’t want to know, of course you wanted to know. You wanted to know even if it hurt you from the inside out, tore you to shreds and burned all your scars again because at one point, Jimin was your other half, your better half.

It wasn’t because you didn’t want to know, but because you couldn’t. You couldn’t stand to see him talk about some other girl, if he had one, or about all the things he’s done that he’s always wanted to do but you just held him back. You couldn’t just stand there, in the middle of what was supposed to be your best friend’s party, and drown in the tears that you held back for two whole years because unlike you, he was okay.

“Alright if everyone could find their names on the tables and take a seat. We’re gonna play a game! With alcohol! Like real adults!,” your best friend squealed into the mic and you have never been so thankful for her in your life. You knew from one glance that she had a sip too much, but the comical relief she provided was greatly appreciated as you threw a polite wave goodbye to Jimin before turning away, breathing for the first time since he approached you.

The appreciation, however, was short lived as you slipped into your chair near the stage and looked across the way to the tag that read out your worst nightmare. Of course your best friend would put you and Jimin right across from each other, the whole table looking like a bad speed dating set up as Taehyung and Nayun sat right next to each other as well. It was like your best friend was setting all of you up for battle of the exes.

“Oh. Look at that,” you heard Jimin say, seeing his tag on the placemat across from your own. Pursing your lips in what you hoped looked like a smile, you deliberately turned your body away from his just so it wouldn’t feel comfortable; so you wouldn’t feel like any other party the two of you attended together.

“So we’re going to play a game and anyone who’s known me in college should know that when it came to me, games and alcohol was required so we’re going to play truth or dare shot style,” she said, eyeing you out as if this was her sick plan all along. “So you have a partner across from you and in the middle there’s a stack of cards with some bottles of alcohol. No, they’re not center pieces and yes you’re allowed to drink from them.”

Closing your eyes in defeat, you wondered what crime you had committed in your past life in order for you to be punished in this one. But this wasn’t about you, this was about your best friend and she deserved to be happy on her day and if that meant suppressing the urge to get up and walk out of the banquet hall, never to see Park Jimin again, then by all means, your ass was staying in that chair.

And because she deserved to be happy, you took a deep breath and faced Jimin who didn’t look the least bit disturbed unlike you who had three mental breakdowns in the span of five minutes. You decided that karma really was a bitch because at that same moment, he had caught your eyes and you saw what was really going in within him. Jimin, who was the last person to ever hide anything, wasn’t really okay. He was scared and confused, but the thing that got you was the pain. You knew those eyes anywhere because those were the eyes that haunted you at night when it was just you and your thoughts all alone. Those were the eyes of his retreating figure leaving you behind, leaving you for good.

Taking the liberty to split the cards down the middle and giving one half to Jimin, you mentally prepared yourself for the inner demise you were about to go through. When the game started, you had no recollection because not only were you distracted from your internal monologue, but because Jimin just looked at you. He looked at you, his eyes trained on yours, and it was like you were back to where you were two years ago, at the mercy of his smile, infatuated with every bit of him.

“Uhm,” he smiled, making your heart ache at how comfortably he could look at you, the gaze of any other emotion that you thought you saw was long gone, “You can go first, if you want to.”

Snapping out of whatever gaze you were in, you quickly looked down at the cards in front of you, trying to comprehend the words but it was as if your brain had turned to jelly under the scrutiny of Jimin’s presence.

“Uh,” you said dumbly before scolding yourself to get it together, “When was the last time you told a lie?”

Two years ago when you said we’d still be friends.

Although you weren’t expecting him to say that, he seemed to not be expecting the question as it caught him by surprise, leaving his gaping for an answer. You would think his answer to be something mundane and miniscule, but before you know it, he was pouring his own shot and downing it before you could even tell him it was okay not to answer.

“Jimin-”

“Alright, your question,” he started, small smile still playing on his lips as if he plastered it there for the night. “When did your last..relationship...end?”

Heating up almost instantly, you were glad he was staring at the cards and not you because you were sure you looked like a tomato. You weren’t about to say two years ago, but then again, taking the shot would only validate that you hadn’t had another relationship after Jimin. But there you went, blindly thrusting your hand into the wall of alcohol and picking up a random bottle before dumping out whatever could fit in your shot glass and tipping it back, letting the putrid liquid glide down your throat in a burning, uncomforting rush.

“Have you ever cheated on anyone?”

Drink

When was the last time you cried?”

Drink

“What is your biggest insecurity?”

Drink

Soon enough, Jimin was drunk off his ass after only five rounds, although he always was a lightweight. Teetering on the edge of tipsy, you began to rethink what you were even doing, sitting across of your ex-boyfriend and prodding at each other’s inner thoughts only to drink because neither of you wanted to tell. And soon enough, Jimin was no longer in his right mind to be speaking to you, much less anyone for that matter.

“Do you miss me?,” he asked seriously, not even reading questions from the cards anymore although you wouldn’t be surprised if that really was a question.

Not wanting to deal with the emotions you had buried deep down in you and kept there for two years, you begin pouring another glass for yourself before you feel a familiar grip pull your hand away, stopping the flow of alcohol.

“Answer this one,” and the way his voice quivered made you look up only to regret it. The man you once loved, albeit still loved, was pleading for you to answer him, yet you couldn’t. You couldn’t do it because admitting you missed him was admitting defeat.

So you just shook your head and forced your hand out of his, resuming your pouring even if you couldn’t see past the rim from the tears threatening to spill over. Tilting back the glass, you had wondered if this is what dying felt like; having your heart drowned in alcohol from all the lonely nights and prompt breakdowns of throwing tantrums and screaming at yourself because you didn’t want to acknowledge that something went wrong.

And maybe it was the tears or the wishful thinking that made it seem like the alcohol content of the shot you just took doubled, tripled even, as your vision blurred and your tongue grew heavy in your mouth.

“Do you think I would make a good wife?,” you numbly asked, choosing to stick to the carded questions before the both of you got carried away and ended up asking things you regret knowing the answer to.

“My god yes,” Jimin muttered under his breath, chucking to himself, “You would be the perfect wife.”

At his genuine answer, your heart stopped, looking at him run his fingers through his hair because he was flustered.

“You really think so?,” you asked, softening just a little when you see him nod his head.

“I wanted you to be my wife,” he laughed to himself, but you knew better. You saw right through him; he was hurting just as much as you were, but unlike you, he was strong enough to hide it under a convincing smile.

“How long did it take for you to get over me?,” Jimin asked, voice catching at the end as if he was nervous to know the answer.

Just as you were about to pour your sixth shot of the night, you decided against it, knowing neither of you were going to remember any part of this tomorrow. Drunk Jimin was capable of many things, but recollection was not one of the.

“You think I’m over you?,” you asked seriously, letting out a soft, disbelieving laugh that left him speechless across from you.

“I-”

“It doesn’t take two years to get over something you believed would last forever”

“Then why did you leave?,” and when he asked that question, the gates broke and the walls around your self resolve crumbled to the ground, years of work gone in a few seconds.

“Because I- I wanted to be with you...so much, for so long. I wanted to be worth your time. I wanted to be the one you thought of at 1 in the afternoon with your desk piled high with paperwork. I wanted to be yours for a really, really long time. But it was too much to ask for the both of us and I didn’t- I couldn’t handle it,” you cried, the alcohol and the situation and all those years without properly knowing what happened between the two of you had finally gotten to you, breaking you down further than you were willing to go.

Realizing it was your turn, you sobered up, wiping whatever tears you shed away before, facing Jimin only to see him holding back his own tears. Two years apart was nothing compared to the lifetime the both of you had planned out in blind hope and love, thinking it would work itself out in time.

“Would- would you do it all over again if you could?,” you whispered, heart tearing apart when he nodded at you because this was it. This was the confession that broke you. Not only did the two of you brake up, you broke each other in a way that wasn’t anyone’s fault on the premise that the love between you wasn’t there, yet here Jimin was, proving everything you believed in the past two years to be wrong.

“Of course I would do it all over again. You have no idea what an honor it was to love you,” he whispered from across the table, beginning to reach across only to stop himself because this is what you two were; restricted. His words floated around you in tiny clouds that only further suffocated you in your own sadness and anguish and pain.

And before you knew it, he was pouring another drink and downing it like water, muttering ‘I’m too sober for this’ under his breath while you just looked at him, numbness compressing you against the cold metal of the chair. Jimin never liked alcohol, yet here he was consuming it like it was normal all because of you, all because you couldn’t be the bigger person to step away even when you knew it was a bad idea. Then you realized what you were doing, what you did; you were killing him from the inside out. He never liked alcohol, yet he was drinking it; he never got angry, yet you turned him into a monster every time a problem arose; he hated working, but when he was with you, work was the better option out of the two. You brought out the worst sides of him just by loving him, it wasn’t because of weak communication or time, it was because you were the catalyst for his breaking point.

“Do you still love me?”

Breath catching, you held your breath as you looked at him, those chocolate brown eyes and soft full cheeks looked scarred and hurt, but they also looked at you with hope in your answer. But you looked away as you brought the bottle of whiskey closer to you and took a sip straight from the bottle, not bothering with the glasses anymore since they obviously weren’t doing their job at getting you drunk enough to pass out. Because you couldn’t tell him more than you already did.

You couldn’t tell him that his memory keeps you up at night, haunting you with what could have been, the future you wanted with all your heart. You couldn’t tell him that you thought of him when you walked down the shampoo aisle at the store, wondering if he still uses old spice shampoo because you loved how it smelled on him. You couldn’t tell him that sometimes you can’t walk into your own apartment because while he got to start anew, you were left with the fragments he walked away without. And there was no way in hell you were telling him that while he had the key to your heart and happiness when you were together, he took that key with him when you were finally apart.

“I have a girlfriend”

Choking on the burning alcohol you were trying to drown in, you pulled the bottle away in a coughing frenzy, trying not to look at him in fear of crying again from the shocking revelation. Of course he had a new girlfriend, this was Park Jimin you were talking about. The same man who charmed his way into grandmothers’ hearts would certainly pick up a new girl on his way out of your life, there was no doubt, but it didn’t hurt any less.

“That’s uh- that’s good. Congratulations,” you forced out, cringing by how fake it sounded in your own ears as you tried to sound happy for him. And you were.

“But she’s not you-”

“Jimin, please,” you begged, not wanting to hear any more from him. “Please don’t. Don’t say that. You know just as well as I do that I’m not the one you need no matter how much I wanted to be.”

Hearing those words come out of your own mouth, it felt as if a whole weight was lifted off your shoulders only to be replaced with the bone crushing knowledge that you really wasn’t what he needed. He needed someone to be there for him, to talk to him when he refuses to, someone who would know not to leave him alone when he says he wants space. Jimin needs someone who won’t push him away like you did. He needs someone who isn’t you, and as much as you knew, it still stung because if it didn’t, did you really love him?

“I missed you. A lot. And I know it’s gross and cliche, but sometimes I think about you and me. I think about where we would be if things worked out the way we planned for it to. And sometimes I ask myself if it was worth it, losing you. And it might just be the alcohol talking or maybe it’s because this is the first time I’ve seen you since, y’know, but I hoped you would yell at me or something,” he laughed quietly to himself. “I hoped you would yell or scream or hit me or something just so I would know I’m not the only one still affected. But you’re still pushing me away after two years.”

Biting your tongue, you stopped yourself from saying anything you might regret, as if coming to this damn party wasn’t already a big enough regret. While you thought he was having a grand old time the past two years, you realized he was hurting just as much as you were, but unlike you, he actually did something with himself. He has a girlfriend, one that he must care enough about, and a life that doesn’t revolve around you, who are you to be selfish?

“I wanted us-“

“Okay great game guys! Congratulations to William and Sohee for staying the most sober!,” your best friend’s voice boomed overhead, reminding you this was supposed to be a game. It wasn’t supposed to get this far. But it did and you’ve never felt so stupid and self conscious all at the same time because you were supposed to be the ‘strong’ one between the two of you; you were the one that ‘didn’t need the other’ and was ‘better off without him’ and here you were, getting ready to walk out of your best friend’s bachelorette party because you couldn’t stand talking to him for five minutes without crying.

“So now we’re going to play another game-”

“One last question,” you said suddenly, needing to get this off your conscience before it haunted you for the rest of your life. “Are you happy?”

Watching him think it over, your heart beat rapidly against your chest, nervous and scared of what he would say, but deep down, you hoped he would say yes. That’s he’s happy and content and excited for what else his life entails because he deserved to feel that way. Sure it’ll hurt to hear that he’s happy without you, but when his eyes light up and he smiles the same way he did when he was with you, you knew that the pain would be temporary.

“Yeah. It took a while, but I am. And I want you to be happy too.”

a/n: wow this one lowkey hurt to write lol

-M♡♡

#sfwbangtan #bcgnet #jimin #jimin scenario #jimin imagine #jimin x reader #bts scenarios #bts imagines #bts writing #jimin fanfic #lowkey angst #jimin angst #bts angst #exes #pjay writing

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itspjay-blog · 5 years

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A LETTER FOR TAYLOR ALISON SWIFT

Hi Taylor❤,

Funny thing - you don't know me but I feel like I have known you forever.

It was sometime in 2008 I heard your song for the first time. It was called "FORVEVER AND ALWAYS". My best friend gave me this song and told me I would love it.

I was sitting alone in my room and after I listened to it, I was in tears and so shocked. All I could think was "How did she know this is exactly how I feel?"

and then I realized.. No matter the geographic location, no matter the age/ethnicity/race/how famous you are.. Girls go through the same thing everywhere. Our emotions are just too similar. After I heard this song I kept on listening to more. Soon enough my playlist had only your songs and I would get addicted to each one of them time after time. Somedays it was "COLD AS YOU", somedays it was "YOU'RE NOT SORRY"...somedays it was "JUMP THEN FALL" and on and on and on.. it was like nothing in my life could happen which couldn't be described through your lyrics.

Year after year, album after album you were growing up and so was I. Your songs became my secret hiding place. Be it state of grace, the last time, this love, clean.. any freaking song you wrote I knew the words better than any other thing in my life. I lived my life through your songs.

I suffer from severe panic disorder. Last year was really tough for me. I just wanted to be normal again. I felt like this was just the end for me. The biggest trouble with pain is, you can share it but even then the biggest part of it remains with you. People who love you can try to take it away, but it won't.

I used to just sit and watch the secret session videos, live performances from different eras, reputation tour on Netflix, the way you said "blah blah blah" before performing "TEARDROPS ON MY GUITAR" at the Grand Ole Opry.. 🤭

I am not lying but for a few minutes I really would feel okay.

I need to be honest with you that when people started saying you are a liar I got so scared. I doubted my judgement that day. In my brain I was like, "See this is what you do everytime. You trust and now you are hurt".

but my heart told me nothing can stop me from loving you. The way my world was saved by you so many many many times, no one else could have done it. I trust you and will always be by your side even if it's just by liking your videos or tweeting about you.

When I watched the end of "LWYMMD" video I was screaming and going crazy like never before. I was the best thing I had EVER seen. You slayed my QUEEN. *Bow Down*

Just know that I am here sitting in some corner of the world, standing by your side FOREVER.

I have so much more to this story through the last 11 years. How I have literally no friends now but I have an imaginary best friend named Taylor who writes songs to tell me "YOU CAN'T SPELL AWESOME WITHOUT ME"

anyway, the purpose of writing this is that I wanted to write this since a long time.

I REALLY want you to read this. You dont need to acknowledge that you did. I just want you to know.

Chances are that you won't read this. But I still love you my saviour. My biggest wish - to see you perform live and tell you THANK YOU to your face. I am from India where you never came 😞

One of your biggest fan/admirer/well wisher,

Pjay.

PS : I've been the archer, I've been the prey, sign Taylor's petition today cuz shade never made anybody less gay 😁

#TaylorSwift #TaylorSwift13 #Fearless #SpeakNow #Red #1989 #reputation #Lover #QueenOfOurHearts #TheArcher #YNTCD #ME! #13 #IHopeSheReadsThis #Swiftie #SwiftieForever ❤

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brandaann · 2 years

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Songwriting and Context: Session 7 and 8 - Song for Speciality market (SET TASK 3)

Session 7 consisted of a catchup session to work a little on our process folios.

In week 8, we were given our third songwriting set task which was to create a song for a speciality market, and it could either be a Christmas song, a comedy song or a children’s song.

My group consisted of the dream team: myself, Sacha, Anya, Rose and Josh. Given the time of year and to get us into the spirit, we decided to write a Christmas song.

We chose to go for a slower, lovey piano ballad type song rather than an upbeat Christmas song. Josh focused on creating the piano instrumentation while the rest of us worked on lyrics together. I came up with some verses and mixed them with other people to make the best verses we could and we all tweaked each others. It was helpful to hear feedback on my lyrics and seeing how the others changed them around and added things in because it helps me improve and also helps me see their approach and include it in mine in future. When writing lyrics we made a shared note on our phones that we could all type on which I felt was so much easier as we can see each others lyrics and ideas easier.

After coming up with the lyrics, we figured out the singing arrangements and decided all come in separately on each line, with harmonies or melody to add depth and make the harmonies more subtle. E.g:

Line 1: Just Rose

Line 2: Rose and Sacha

Line 3: Rose, Sacha, Me

Line 4: Rose, Sacha, Me, Anya

The chorus consisted of me and Anya singing the melody with Rose and Sacha singing backing vocals, and the backing vocals sound amazing! We decided to repeat the chorus twice the second time, and on the third verse we all sang the first 3 lines then Rose sang the last line solo to softly, beautifully and subtly bring the song to a close.

Here are the lyrics and structure to the song:

Verse 1:

It’s that time of year again

Standing close to you my friend

All the presents all the food

Don’t mean nothing without you

Pre-chorus:

Ive got your love to keep me warm

On this Christmas night (this christmas night)

Your gift to me

All I need

Is you by my side (by my side)

Chorus:

This Christmas time (this Christmas time)

Your gift to me

All I need

Is you by my side

This Christmas time

Verse 2:

Meet me under the mistletoe

Your loving is all I want

Lets sing songs of Christmas cheer

I’m so grateful that you’re here

Pre-chorus:

Ive got your love to keep me warm

On this Christmas night (this christmas night)

Your gift to me

All I need

Is you by my side (by my side)

Chorus (x2):

This Christmas time (this Christmas time)

Your gift to me

All I need

Is you by my side

This Christmas time

Verse 3:

Wear matching Christmas pjays

Make some mince pies play some games

Hold me tight it feels so right

On this special holy night

Overall, this is one of, maybe even THE best song we have done so far. Never did I ever believe I could make a Christmas song but here we are. I always thought Christmas songs were hard to write because it is hard to not make it sound like every other, and it is also difficult to not make it sound cringe. Also, shared notes on iphone are definitely something I will use again in the lyric writing process, as it allows more accessibility for analysis and development on your lyrics and other peoples when it comes to co-writing.

Here is a link to the song:

https://soundcloud.com/brandan-396174615/this-christmas-time/s-qjaLjzKZXV3?si=5bb8f49525c444c48547e7fe241d8eb1&utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing

#md5313

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rosestiff · 2 years

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Song Writing & Context: Session 7 & 8 - Song For Speciality Market

Over the last two weeks we had a catch up session, if we had any work to complete. I was on top of everything and had complete all the song writing tasks, so I just went over my blog making sure everything was in order!

During week eight we were set are next song writing task to create a song for a speciality market this included a comedy, Christmas or children's song.

We were aloud in groups up to five, so Anya, Sacha, Brandan, Josh and I decided to go together. We came to the conclusion to write a Christmas song.

Everyone except Josh sat down and came up with lyrics ideas, so that we could regroup and put are initial ideas together. Whilst Josh worked on the instrumentation of the Piece, focusing on piano for this particular song. As we felt that was the perfect fit for a Christmas song.

After we put came up with the initial lyrics we decided to create a shared note on our phones this was really helpful as we were able to constantly reevaluate and rewrite lyrics throughout the process in a way which was easy for everyone to see.

We finalised the lyrics then started to practise different parts, adding harmonies throughout, practising when everyone came in, perfecting the overall structure of the song.

We decided during the course we would split into two groups. Sacha and I in one group and Brandan and Anya in the other. This aloud us to add more ideas to the chorus with Sacha and I singing oh’s at some points whilst Brandan and Anya were singing the main lyrics.

At the end of the song we decided to repeat the chorus twice before slowing down for the final verse, allowing the song to come to a nice conclusion.

overall, I very proud of the song we created. It took us a while to get started and decide on the final lyrics used. But the use of notes on our phones really helped us to all see the vision together. Leading to a great song!

lyrics for the song:

It’s that time of year again

Standing close to you my friend

all the presents all the food

don’t mean nothing without you

i’ve got your love to keep me warm

on this christmas night

your gift to me

all i need

is you by my side

this christmas timeeeeeee

all the presents all the food

don’t mean nothing without you

Meet me under the mistletoe

Your lovin is all i want

Let’s sing songs of Christmas cheer

Im so grateful that you’re here

i’ve got your love to keep me warm

on this christmas night

your gift to me

all i need

is you by my side

this christmas timeeeeeee x2

wear matching Christmas pjays

make some mince pies play some games

Hold me tight it feels so right

On this special holy night

#MD5313

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1800pizzagirl · 5 years

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Vanderpump Rules, Season 7, Recap #9

Come on everybody, gather around and grab a bottle of “Witches of Weho” Pinot Grigio - settle in for a semi-exciting episode of Vanderpump Rules. I realized that what has been missing this season is that the cast hasn’t gone on vacation yet. Remember last season when Jax almost drowned in Big Bear? And Scheana was obsessed with her boyfriend for being able to mount a television in 5 minutes? Anyway, I hope they have an upcoming trip because I don’t care to see TomTom being built anymore.

Speaking of, the episode resumes at the waterless, gasless, no electricity TomTom. Essentially, I feel the same about this process as Giggy passed out on one of the TomTom tables.

I think that Tom Sandoval is the kind of person that is “cut out” to do this job as 5% owner of a bar; Tom Schwartz is questionable, but maybe he can this off. So as Tom Sandoval is running around Los Angeles like a chicken with his head cut off to pickup stuff for the “DailyMail TV” party; Tom Schwartz is charged with going to James’ house to check on his iTunes playlist.

James is set on making up with Lala by writing Randall an apology letter. Raquel is not happy with this and James rips that non-perforated college rule paper right out of his rhymes diary because he stands by his lady. But, turns out that Raquel does not stand by her man as she is going to “Girl’s Night In” at SUR. James was right to be upset, but his little Joffrey Boratheon style breakdown just shows everyone how much he sucks. “IF I CAN’T HAVE FUN, YOU CAN’T! OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!”.

Am I just psychic or what? Lala wants to take the girls on a trip to Solvang! Finally! A trip on the PEEJ! I was wondering why I knew what Solvang was but it’s because I saw an episode of Little Women LA where they went there. It all comes full circle. Will Scheana be able to connect with the other ladies on this trip? Or will she just talk about her and Adam hang n’ bang?

I think it’s pretty weird that Lisa Vanderpump, a successful restauranteur, thought it was weird that Tom and Tom were asking for a “term sheet” for their 5% investment. Does she think it’s normal to just take 5% and shake on it? That sounds shady as hell!

It seems like so far this season, Jax and Brittany have just been hanging out alone and talking about their beer cheese. Jax is still grieving from the loss of his father but you can barely tell from how much botox he’s had on his forehead. Although I do feel for him and how strongly he’s still affected by his loss.

The rest of the episode is getting ready for the TomTom party where Beau gets water on Stassi’s pink jumpsuit, Tom Schwartz cleans a toilet and finds out they have little trash cans and Tom Sandoval gets jalapeno on his ball sack. Lisa Vanderpump loves to hold grudges and she will not let Kristen Doute come to this party. It sucks for Tom Schwartz to have to disinvite her as she gets ready but once you are to Lisa’s bad side, you have to crawl through her mini-horse shit at Villa Rosa to get back in her good graces... Stassi did it.

The DJ booth at TomTom is pathetic but there is something sweet about seeing James pop his head through a small window and have to play his mix in a closet through Bluetooth. Although, my biggest worry during the DailyMail TV party was not that there was no air conditioning, or they ran out of ice and Aquafaba but that Lisa would spill that purple drink on her beautiful white dress!

Haven’t they all come a long way? TomTom is about ready to open, Lisa is drunk in public and Stassi is excited to hang out with Lala on her boyfriends PJay. Also, I’m pretty sure that my 2019 Winter aesthetic looks like Kristen sadly eating a bowl of spaghetti in bed.

Until next week, in Solvang! XOXO my five faithful readers.

#vanderpump rules #vanderpump rules season 7 #recap #reality tv #pop culture #lisa vanderpump

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turbobyakuren · 7 years

Note

Headcanons for Hatate?

OUTFITS

I like to headcanon that Hatate still wears PJays while working inside her house.

When she gets out, she just puts on her regular outfit.

Just like Aya, wears the traditional oufit during formal meetings. But since she’s mostly working inside, it’s rare

Hatate is a bit stocky compared to Aya’s slim body type.

Contrary to Aya, Hatate is on good terms with Momiji. But only “on good terms”.

Hatate loves reading books and comics. That’s mostly where she gets her writing skills. But again, she rarely goes outside to actually buy the books, so she’d rather take spiritual photographies of each pages instead of actually buying them.

Hatate’s purple checkers style is outright mocked. People think she merges terrible with pink/purple. But Hatate doesn’t care. Because she can’t hear the haterz.

Hatate’s spirit photography skills are fantastic, her shots are beautiful and absolutely poignant. They look like cinema pictures. But she’s just ok with actually taking photos.

Sometimes she wheezes when running too much and Aya loves making fun of that.

Hatate has amazing drawing skills but never tried to market them before.

#t-a-c

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kazsal21 · 4 years

Text

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news-mashable-yahoopartner-blog · 6 years

Text

Elon Musk was once tech's angel. Now he's an overplayed meme.

It’s Viral Market Crash week on Mashable. Join us as we take stock of the viral economy and investigate how the internet morphed from a fun free-for-all to a bleak hellscape we just can’t quit.

In the space of a few short months, Elon Musk has gone from being the internet's tech darling to one of the most parodied personalities online.

Up until this spring, Musk was more or less well liked. Sure, his employees were reportedly working mandatory overtime, but his anti-union stances were overlooked because hey, he launched a car into space! His company's egregious record of under-reporting workplace injuries was glossed over because he started dating Grimes after shooting his shot with an adorably nerdy pun. Elon Musk was the manic pixie dream boy of tech: He was deeply problematic, but it was easy to ignore because he was just so quirky.

SEE ALSO: People think Guy Fieri is a better philanthropist than Elon Musk

I mean, he sold flamethrowers. Flamethrowers! Who even remembers that Tesla employees were apparently forced to work around the body of an employee who passed out when there are videos of a grown man giggling about his new flamethrower?

Don’t do this. Also, I want to be clear that a flamethrower is a super terrible idea. Definitely don’t buy one. Unless you like fun.

A post shared by Elon Musk (@elonmusk) on Jan 27, 2018 at 5:29pm PST

But then in late May, Musk's reputation took a sudden nosedive when he started using Twitter like Donald Trump. Musk criticized how the media covers Tesla crashes. He was understandably upset that a recent crash that resulted in a broken ankle was reported on extensively while thousands of fatal crashes from standard cars aren't.

Then he ramped up his complaining and blamed "big media" for lying, and claimed that nobody believes news outlets anyway. He also said that journalists are "under constant pressure to get max clicks" or risk getting fired for not pulling in enough of that sweet advertising revenue, even insinuating that fossil fuel and oil companies were paying off reporters to write negative reviews of Tesla's cars.

As if that wasn't enough, Musk followed up by announcing his plans to create a Yelp-type review site for journalists that would allow the public to "rate the core truth of any article," which honestly sounds like an Orwellian hell.

Musk's anti-news rant came just weeks after Reveal published a damning report about Tesla putting manufacturing above its employees' safety. Grimes tried to defend her new boyfriend, insisting that Tesla being anti-union was "fake news." When journalist Jessica Huseman called out Musk for his tweets, pointing out that Reveal is a nonprofit that doesn't compete for clicks, he threw a temper tantrum that turned into a months-long Twitter meltdown.

No, they’re just some rich kids in Berkeley who took their political science prof too seriously

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) May 23, 2018

Like an angsty preteen who just feels misunderstood by society, Musk lashed out at everyone who criticized him.

Then in June, Alex Arbuckle changed his Twitter display name to "Italian Elon Musk" and started blessing our feeds with parodies of Musk's tweets.

Ayy!! I make a da rockets!!

— alex (@alexqarbuckle) June 16, 2018

Arbuckle isn't the first to spoof Elon Musk. The account Bored Elon Musk has been actively shitposting on Twitter for years.

Digital counter in conference rooms that displays running sum of TIME ELAPSED x HOURLY RATE of all people in a meeting.

— Bored Elon Musk (@BoredElonMusk) April 16, 2015

Alarm that also starts a timer for how long you're allowed to f*** around on your phone after waking up.

— Bored Elon Musk (@BoredElonMusk) April 5, 2017

Arbuckle's version of Elon Musk was unique, though. While Bored Elon Musk made fun of Musk's ideas, like tweeting randomly specific but ingenious innovations, Arbuckle's Musk made fun of Musk himself.

I love a my employee Sal, he spinna da dough like a no one else!! I had a to fire him because a he ask for a raise!! I say Sal, donna you have enough dough already? Prego!!

— alex (@alexqarbuckle) June 17, 2018

It got a lot of attention, and he even lost his Twitter verification for the bit.

[when I get my verified checkmark removed by Twitter for doing a bit where Elon Musk is Italian] ayyyy whoopsy daisy

— alex (@alexqarbuckle) June 17, 2018

Italian Elon Musk's run was short, though — Arbuckle changed his name and profile photo after just five glorious days.

"I ended the Italian Elon Musk bit after realizing I'd been de-verified by Twitter, because in my estimation that was the funniest possible way for the bit to end," Arbuckle wrote Mashable in an email.

While Twitter users mourned the loss of one of the greatest bits of 2018, the real Elon Musk's social media meltdown continued.

When 12 boys and their soccer coach got stranded in a flooded cave in Thailand, Musk jumped to the rescue. Sort of. He had a child-size submarine constructed so divers could pop a kid in, squeeze the metal tube through the cave's narrow passages, and safely deliver each child to dry land. Except, according to a BBC report, the head of the rescue mission called the baby sub just "not practical." While Musk was live-tweeting the mini submarine's development, human divers were actually rescuing the children one by one.

Despite being a 47-year-old adult, Musk couldn't take the criticism. In another Twitter rant he responded to the BBC's report with screenshots of emails with the co-leader of the Thai rescue team. He followed up by claiming that his sub "could do the entire journey & demonstrate at any time." He topped it off by implying that "billionaire" is a slur, and when called out on that, bragged about the number of jobs he created.

Ironically, the “billionaire” label, when used by media, is almost always meant to devalue & denigrate the subject. I wasn’t called that until my companies got to a certain size, but reality is that I still do the same science & engineering as before. Just the scale has changed.

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) July 10, 2018

No, it means I created jobs for 50,000 people directly and, through parts suppliers & supporting professions, ~250,000 people indirectly, thus supporting half a million families. What have you done?

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) July 10, 2018

Musk's response to lead diver Vern Unsworth calling his child submarine "just a PR stunt" that had "absolutely no chance of working" was icing on the cake. Unsworth is an avid caver who has extensive knowledge of the cave system the boys were stranded in. In a series of unhinged tweets — his magnum opus of Twitter rants — Musk called Unsworth "pedo guy" and claimed he "never saw this British expat guy who lives in Thailand (sus)."

That's probably the Muskiest tweet Musk has ever tweeted. Arbuckle, now formerly known as Italian Elon Musk, said it best: "No conceivable parody could be funnier than calling a rescue hero a pedophile because he made fun of your waterproof space trash boy casket."

To the people in my mentions telling me to bring back Italian Elon Musk: No. No conceivable parody could be funnier than calling a rescue hero a pedophile because he made fun of your waterproof space trash boy casket

— alex (@alexqarbuckle) July 15, 2018

He has a point — despite the multiple parody accounts that have popped up in the absence of our beloved Italian Elon Musk, none of them can sound as ridiculous as actual Elon Musk tweets.

A week later, Twitter announced that it would start locking accounts whose display names said "Elon Musk." The company said that it was to prevent cryptocurrency scams, since lookalikes would comment under Musk's tweets promising that if Twitter users sent him Ethereum, he would send even more back.

Twitter users joked that Elon Musk paid off the site so parody accounts would stop making fun of him.

Elon Musk is such a petty bastard that he got an Italian spoof account of his banned from Twitter. How naive of him to think that will stop the internet from mocking him Rise French Élon Musque and take your Italian brother's place! pic.twitter.com/aNbmt5fRtG

— Culture Shots (@hjvinke) July 28, 2018

"targeting cryptocurrency scammers" is code for "elon forked out $2,000,000 to make sure Italian Elon Musk never resurfaces" https://t.co/9cOBzhXKYv

— thomas violence (@thomas_violence) July 26, 2018

Arbuckle has a different take:

"Twitter locking accounts that change their name to Elon Musk is some extremely hilarious shit for a website that not only enables but actually verifies violent white supremacist organizations," he told Mashable, ending his email with a dig at Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey. "Terrific priorities, Jack."

French Elón Musque, who has since changed their name to @locallefties, was one of the first copycats who got popular in the weeks after Arbuckle said he wouldn't resurrect Italian Elon. They got around Twitter's new locking policy by changing up Musk's name. Through Twitter DM, they said, "i thought it might piss off elon musk which would be cool."

i send ze baguette into space... i dont pay ze taxés... honhonhon...

— YOUR LOCAL LEFTIES (@locallefties) July 27, 2018

ze homeless man on ze street ask me “please monsieur musk spare some change my family is dying” i tell him “have you heard of ze hyperloop”

— YOUR LOCAL LEFTIES (@locallefties) July 28, 2018

ze tesla cars catch fire so zat you may easily toast your croissants

— YOUR LOCAL LEFTIES (@locallefties) July 28, 2018

With French Elón Musque leading the way, Swëdish Eløn Müsk, German Elon von Müsk, and South African Elon Musk rose from the ashes of Italian Elon Musk.

Ï sjënd dë mætbals ïnto späcë, Ï døn’t pjay de täxes, bork bork

— Swëdish Eløn Müsk (@MuskSwedish) July 28, 2018

I am very socialist ja. I seek greatest good for all. Zats vy I ground ze factory verkers of Tesla Motorwagen into dust to reach ze production numbers for ze Model tree for my bonus.

— German Elon von Müsk (@DvonMusk) July 28, 2018

I sent a car into space!! I don't pay taxes!! Hahaha!!

— South African Elon Musk (@saelonmusk) July 28, 2018

Someone even came up with whatever the hell this version of Elon Musk is.

Ị̘ ͚͎͈ba̠̺̜̤̬n̯̪̝̩̮̼i̟̘s̬̲̣͖̞ͅh̼̤e͙͇̠̯͉͍d̘̼ ̫̺̦a̤ ͔̦̗̟̘͎c̩͖a͔͎r̲͕͙̮̗ ̩̠̝̟̝̫ͅt͖͓̖̩o̗ ͔̳et̝e̯r̟na͎̱͉͔̮̫̰l͉̖͉̥̞̬̭ ̜̻͍dam̫͓̮̭̝n̠a͈͉t̻i͚̯̤͓̱̪ͅo͉̟ͅn̳̻̫̖ ͉̟̜I ̻̤̗̻̼̘̞d͇̹̟o̭̳̣͚̦̪̻n̠͈̦t͇͇̘̳ ͙ͅp̦̘͚͖̝̣a̹̳̞͙̼̭̮y͔ ̣t̤̹̪̳̭͚a̺͔͈̪xẹ̤͇̯̳̘̭s̹͖̪̘ͅ H̺͔͇͖̳̩̭a̞̥h̘̬̺̜͓̱̣a̗̤ha̝̞̖ḥa̻͕̗͈

— Elonmorsque of the Nine Hells (@elonmorsque) July 30, 2018

While Twitter users argued over whether or not the Elon Musk parodies were actually good, everyone could agree that the fake accounts were still more bearable than seeing actual Elon Musk tweets.

french elon musk is considerably worse than italian elon musk but they're both infinitely better than original flavour elon musk

— robocop 2 (@newmoneytrash) July 28, 2018

what made italian elon musk funny is, it combined a classic trope (italian accent) with the spontaneity of its execution. what made french elon musk briefly funny was that it was homage. what made south african elon musk funny was format deconstruction. nothing else will be funny

— victim of reply guys every day on this horrid site (@D0GGEAUX) July 28, 2018

The Musk parodies, funny or not, played off national stereotypes. People worried that the accounts would take it too far and start being actively racist for the sake of making fun of Elon Musk.

Stop making national stereotype Elon Musk accounts. You will never recapture the lightning in a bottle that was Italian Elon Musk and it's only a matter of time before someone slips out of ironic chauvinism and ends up doing something actually racist

— The Bionic Woman (@fireh9lly) July 28, 2018

Two accounts, @ElonMuskButGay and @ElonMuskButStr8, ended up tweeting cringey, offensive Musk parodies. At that point, accounts weren't even trying to be funny — the creators were just tweeting for the sake of hopping on the bandwagon.

when the tides of war between the unfunny goobers riding the coattails of the italian elon musk account have finally subsided, these will be the only survivors left to tell the tale pic.twitter.com/nKhknSwQ3i

— Lilly, Host of the Florida Nightm🌟re (@GunstarHeroine) July 29, 2018

@locallefties dropped the French Elón Musque bit because "the joke got old and wasn’t fun anymore." They've been using their account, which now has over 52,000 followers, to promote work by LGBTQ artists and spread awareness of progressive causes.

"We want to actually use our popularity to foster change rather than make harmless fun of some tech billionaire lol," they tweeted on Thursday.

Arbuckle says he was on a remote island vacation with his family when the parodies started popping up. "I turned my phone on to see what was going on in the world and quickly turned it off and went diving for mussels. I did laugh at South African Elon Musk, though," he wrote.

While parody Elon Musk accounts have died down in the past week, the real Elon Musk is still tweeting ridiculousness. On Wednesday, he put out a call for video game developers because he wants to add "super fun games" to Tesla's center touch screen. It would be something like Pokémon Go, but "more of an adults in cars anime vibe."

Sounds dangerous but OK.

If you’re into video game development, consider applying to Tesla. We want to make super fun games that integrate the center touch screen, phone & car irl.

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) August 1, 2018

Something like that, but more of an adults in cars anime vibe

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) August 1, 2018

At this point, it's nearly impossible to parody Elon Musk because he keeps churning out wild tweets that will probably one-up any fake Musk account. But we can remember that for one glorious week in July, Twitter was overrun by Elon Musks.

Editor's Note: Alex Arbuckle is a verified former employee of Mashable.

WATCH: To learn to juggle, this AI-powered hand had to accumulate 100 years’ worth of experience

#_author:Morgan Sung #_category:yct:001000002 #_lmsid:a0Vd000000DTrEpEAL #_uuid:68249b79-0d63-3a8e-9956-cb9ae1cc10d5 #_revsp:news.mashable

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luxvitae · 7 years

Text

Tell Me A Lie | Jungkook

Summary: If there was one thing Jungkook never did, it was lie. Word Count: 2.6k

“So I’ll pick you up around six then we’ll go to the library to study,” Jungkook confirmed, tilting his head at you with his little bunny smile making it impossible to resist.

“Fine,” you groaned, giving him a grimace as he hooted loudly into the almost empty hallway, “Only if you buy the food this time.”

Setting back in the space next to you, he just winked at you before puffing out his chest just to boost his ego a little bit more than it already was.

“Of course. What kind of gentleman would I be if I didn’t?,” he asked, feigning innocence as he deliberately ignored the pointed glare on your face, memories of the last time the two of you studied together where you spent almost $75 just on dinner to feed the growing boy you called your best friend playing in your head.

“Shut up,” was all you said, lightly shoving him away from you as the two of you closed in on your lecture hall. Expecting him to just wave and walk down to his own class, you didn’t bother to really stop until you felt a familiar weight on your forearm pulling you to a halt.

“Seven o’clock. Don’t be late,” Jungkook said, eyes staring straight into your own causing a slight shiver to run down your back. With a small smile breaking the serious demeanor of his face, he lightly poked poked your forehead, forcing it backward before walking away.

Scoffing at the audacity the boy had, you just stared at his smug figure with a pointed glare. “You better be there to pick me up then!,” you called back at him.

“Of course. I never lie,” he yelled back, turning into his own class with a wave of his hand.

“Happy hour tonight at Mike’s. The whole department is going. You down?,” your roommate, Hana, asked, shimmying up to your desk once your professor dismissed class.

Sending her a sorry look, she just gave you a pout and an inward whined. “This is the third time you’re missing a department night out y/n. Just tell Jungkook that it’s important bonding time for you.”

Attracting the attention of Minhyung and Seri nearby, you were soon swamped with other creative writing majors demanding to know why you didn’t want to spend time with them (not that seven hours a day, four times a week wasn’t enough).

“I’m sorry! Midterms are coming up for him and he can’t study unless he’s with another person,” you argued, not being able to stand all the sad looks you were on the receiving end of.

“Guys let’s not force her. I’m sure she’d rather spend time with her boyfriend,” Minhyung teased, bursting out laughing at the deep shade of red you had gotten in such a short amount of him.

“He’s not my boyfriend, quit it Min,” you scolded the second year, fanning yourself to attempt to return back to your original color.

“It’s like he knows when we’re planning to go out. He always plans things on the days we have bonding time,” Hana said thoughtfully, retreating to her own desk to pack up her notebooks and pencils.

Shrugging, you just looked at her with a blank stare. In all honesty, you hadn’t given Jungkook’s advances a second thought much less an ulterior motive. He didn’t seem to have any qualms about your department nor did he ask about the people in general.

“Hey y/n,” Seonwoo, a guy one year your senior, greeted, coming up to where you were putting all your pens back into their place.

“Hey Woo,” you smiled, always happy to see the older. Even if you’re now a third year, he would always have a special place in your heart as he was the first person to approach you when you were a scrambling first year who was too afraid to even speak.

“So are you finally coming out with us tonight? It’s been awhile since all of us had spent time with each other,” the tall brunet asked, soft brown eyes coming up in a hopeful stare that you had to painfully reject.

“Unfortunately not,” you pouted, “Jungkook asked me to study with him tonight.”

“Are you guys still not together?,” Seonwoo inquired, pushing himself off the edge of your desk when you slung your back onto your back.

“No we’re not together. He’s just a friend. A really good one,” you confirmed, not thinking much of it as you waved goodbye to the other students still cleaning up and walking towards the exit with the older next to you.

Seonwoo was a good six inches taller than you with a thick build much like Jungkook’s. With dark brown hair that seemed to glow in the sunlight and eyes of a puppy, he was the epitome of a perfect college guy. Jungkook didn’t seem to like him all that much, saying he was pretentious and thick headed, although you never saw anything of the sort when you looked at the older. If it wasn’t for the copious amount of respect you had for him, you would’ve been falling at the feet of Shin Seonwoo just like everyone else.

“So, if you’re not dating him and you’re studying with him tonight, then I assume your schedule for tomorrow is clear?,” Seonwoo cheekily asked, nuzzling his shoulder into yours as you walked out of the hall.

“I guess-”

“Great. I’ll be at your dorm by five,” he smiled, throwing a look behind you prompting to follow his line of sight to see Jungkook leaning against the wall adjacent to the door, seemingly immersed in his phone.

“Better go before he blasts me again,” Seonwoo joked, giving your wrist a quick squeeze before running off.

Taking a deep breath, you turned to face Jungkook who was already looking at you and by the look in his eyes, he heard everything. He might not have been the smartest computer science major, but he sure did know how to use his ears for all the wrong reasons.

“Ready to go?,” he asked as if nothing was wrong, taking your bag off your back to carry it himself.

Walking side by side in silence, you studied the type of silence between the two of you. Comfortable tranquility was something common when it came to you and Jungkook; most of the time you guys spent together was usually spent with background noise as a filler. But not now. Now it was white noise.

Knowing the other for as long as you have, you could tell what he was thinking by the slightest of things. When he was angry, his left ring finger would twitch. When he was sad, his eyes would squint a little more than they usually do. It was the little things that would scream out when he would keep his mouth shut, but now, for the first time in your entire life, you had no idea what he was thinking. And Jeon Jungkook was always thinking.

“What’s up Jeon?,” you asked, trying to lighten the mood with a brighter tone than usual only to get shut down by his blank stare.

Frowning, you stopped in your tracks, expecting him to stop with you. Only he didn’t. He walked straight ahead, not even bothering to look back at you. Something was definitely wrong and if he wasn’t going to tell you, you were going to make him.

“Jungkook,” you said seriously, your tone causing him to stop in his tracks and look back at you with the same blank stare he used when he first looked at you, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing-”

“You never lie”

Taking a deep breath, he visibly forced himself to relax, closing his eyes to recuperate before opening them to reveal his dark brown eyes. Jungkook pursed his lips before walking back over to you and wrapped his arm around your shoulders like he usually does when he doesn’t know what to say.

“Did something go wrong during class? Did you forget your glasses again?,” you asked, looking up to see Jungkook just shake his head.

“It’s nothing. It’s something really small and stupid, don’t worry about it,” he played off, shrugging his shoulders.

Rounding the corner to the dorms, the gears clicked and the pieces fell into place. Jungkook, although trying to act reserved, was never good at hiding his feelings. After a life long friendship, there was little he could hide, even fewer that he could hide well. From staring at Seonwoo and trying to play off his problems as nothing, you could probably take a wild guess at what was actually bothering him. As the two of you strolled up to the security door, Jungkook’s arm fell from your shoulders to give your bag back to you.

“You don’t want me to go tomorrow, do you?,” you quietly asked, your thoughts confirmed as he avoided your gaze.

Softly chuckling, you just took your bag from his tensed hands, not pulling away until you felt him unclench them. You hated when Jungkook felt the need to hide things from you, especially when it’s about you.

“I- I don’t care if you go tomorrow or not. Just be careful, Seonwoo’s not as great as you think he is,” Jungkook said, bringing you into a slight hug before turning to go back to his own dorm.

“Are you sure?,” you asked skeptically, eyebrowed furrowed in concern as his back looked a little more hunched than usual.

“I don’t lie”

“It’s like you want her to be happy with someone else,” Hoseok lazed from the couch overlooking the campus because between the two of them on a student budget, there was barely any money for the couch much less a TV.

Rummaging through the fridge for his deodorant (don’t ask), Jungkook just sighed for the nth time since he entered the dorm. With only forty minutes until he needed to pick you up for the “study date” he planned, Hoseok’s word planted themselves into the crevices of both his mind and heart.

“You’re not helping!,” Jungkook exclaimed, rolling his eyes as he took his head out of the machine.

“I’m not here to help,” was all Hoseok said, throwing a piece of paper out of balcony door, “But if it got you thinking ‘I’m an idiot’, glad I could help.”

“She’s literally going on a date with the only guy I have a problem with on this entire campus. And there’s over a thousand guys on this fucking campus,” the younger stressed, “And it’s not like she’s ever gonna see me as anything other than a friend because that’s all I’ve been for the past 20 years, Hoseok. A friend.”

“If there’s one thing about being older,” Hoseok mused, getting up from the couch with his beer can still in his hand, “It’s that I know how to deal with wallowing teens.”

“I’m only a year younger than you-”

“First piece of advice, young one,” he said, taking a sip from the can, “Get that stick out of your ass. You can’t expect her to give you a chance if you don’t give yourself one first.”

“You got a four?”

“Go Fish”

“Fuck you. I know you have a four in there somewhere”

“If the two of you were going to play Go Fish the whole time, then why bother coming to the library to study?,” Hana whined from across the table where she was actually doing work.

Feeling bad that you couldn’t make it to the department event, Hana decided to go with you and Jungkook to get some of her own assignments done. Unfortunately, she didn’t realize that when the two of you had study dates, it was more of a study-for-two-minutes-then-end-up-doing-literally-anything-else-except-for-studying kind of night.

“Seven”

“Go fish”

“That’s such a lie,” Jungkook said, automatically calling you out on your bullshit. Due to your inability to keep a straight face while blatantly lying, you broke into a soundless laugh.

“Check for yourself then,” you taunted, only having 50% of the confidence you presented, that 50% dwindling down to a solid 2% as your best friend grabbed the hand that wasn’t holding your cards and pulling you toward him. Losing your footing for a few seconds, Jungkook was quick to react, pulling you safely into his lap with you straddling his legs.

Freezing up at the position you were in, you were close enough to count the eyelashes that lined his eyes, see the pupils in his eyes dilate, feel the heavy breathing of his nose. Maybe it was the lighting or the fact that you hadn’t slept an acceptable amount of hours in the past week, but you found yourself staring, wanting to take in whatever it was that had caught you prisoner in the crime that was Jeon Jungkook’s face.

“Looks like we’re in a ‘card’promising situation,” Jungkook joked, immediately snapping you out of your thoughts.

Inwardly groaning, you made your way off his lap, back to your own chair, ignoring the pointed looks you were getting from Hana in the corner of your eye.

“What the hell was that,” she almost yelled, eyes wide and tone beyond belief at what she just witnessed.

Shrugging, the two of you just returned to your hushed card game, leaving Hana distraught. Going back and forth for another forty minutes, and almost strangling Jungkook for not giving up that damn four, he went to buy the food he promised, leaving you and your roommate to yourselves.

“How are the two of you not dating?,” she asked, almost demanded, the moment Jungkook stepped out of the building.

“Hana you’re almost as bad as Minhyung-”

“No y/n I’m serious. That’s not something that happens between ‘just friends’,” Hana said, gesturing to the scene she was subjected to experience right before her eyes. “I see the way he looks at you, y/n. The boy’s smitten and I don’t know how you don’t see it.”

“Stop it,” you said, not wanting your mind to think something is there when it isn’t.

“The two of you have been side by side for twenty years, it’s almost impossible for both of you to have strictly platonic feelings through all of that,” the girl across from you reasoned, both of you too immersed in your conversation to see Jungkook making his way to the table with packages of food.

“Okay I got regular and spicy because I know you love spicy food-”

“Do you have feelings for me?,” you blurted out, instantly regretting letting Hana’s word get to your head.

Letting the question sink in, Jungkook visibly paled, Hoseok’s words replaying in his head, taunting him at what could be. It wasn’t easy admitting he was practically in love with you to himself, much less anyone else; admitting it to you directly- wow. Just the thought of it made Jungkook want to die just a little bit inside. But if there was anything he learned in the past twenty years, it was that love can only blossom between two people.

“-right?”

“What?,” he asked, too caught up in his self monologue that totally missed whatever you said.

“I said to just tell me the truth. That you don’t have feelings for me,” you repeated, watching the wide range of emotions pass through his face as you heart beat raced against your ribcage, each beat growing louder and louder.

“But I would be doing the one thing I never do,” he said, deep obsidian eyes coming up to meet yours, “I would be lying to you.”

a/n: -screams into the void-

-M♡♡

#sfwbangtan #jungkook #jeongguk #jungkook scenarios #jungkook imagines #bts #bts scenarios #bts imagines #pjay writing

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luxvitae · 7 years

Text

I Know, You Know | Namjoon

Word Count: 1.6k

Summary: Hyunwoo has a love hate relationship with his dad dropping him off at school.

Honestly, Namjoon had no idea where the time went. One minute he’s racing against time to see the birth of his child, the next he’s racing against time to make sure said child isn’t late for preschool.

“Woah daddy we’re going so fast,” Hyunwoo exclaimed from the back seat, face pressed up against the glass of the window watching the trees pass quickly.

“Sorry bud,” Namjoon just laughs nervously, signaling at the cutoff into the school district where Hyunwoo’s preschool was, “Just running a little late this morning.”

You always told him to leave half an hour before school started at 8:30 because Hyunwoo liked it when he could sit and eat breakfast with his friends before his teacher started the day. Although the drive from the house to the school was a quick one, Namjoon couldn’t help but be nervous as time ticked close to 8:30 and his son wasn’t in a small plastic chair, sipping his milk and enjoying a breakfast burrito like he usually is.

Pulling into the small elementary school and parking in the nearest stall, Hyunwoo made a great effort to unbuckle himself from his car seat, ultimately failing as the buckles and buttons just wouldn’t open.

“Daddy,” he whined, squirming in his seat as his dad took forever and a day to untangle the mess of safety buckles the car seat came with, courtesy of Seokjin being extra and forcing you to buy the most complicated looking one.

“Alright, alright,” Namjoon laughed, popping the last button and carrying the eager three year old out of the car, swinging the mini Hulk backpack onto the other shoulder.

Walking up the short stairs and through the hallway that led to the classroom, Hyunwoo had noticeably grown quiet, choosing to rest his chin on the hook of Namjoon’s shoulder as his tiny hands wound around his dad’s neck. Leaning his head toward his son’s, the man smiled softly. It wasn’t a secret that Hyunwoo hated the mornings when his dad dropped him off.

“What’s wrong bud? Why are you so quiet now?,” Namjoon asked, stopping in the hallway and pulled Hyunwoo’s hands from his neck so the little boy could face him.

Knowing his dad knew what was wrong, Hyunwoo shook his head and pouted, hugging the man closer to him. When Namjoon tried to get the little one to look at him again, he just refused, tightening his grip around his dad’s neck and burying his face deeper into his shoulder.

“Kim Hyunwoo,” Namjoon cooed, resuming the short walk it took for his long legs to get to the door of the classroom.

Hearing the squeals and laughter coming from the other kids that were playing, Hyunwoo had relaxed the hold he had Namjoon in, but it was short lived as the dad tried to put him on his feet.

“No,” the little boy complained, shaking his head against the fabric of Namjoon’s shirt, “I don’t want daddy to go.”

Softening, Namjoon complied, bringing the boy back up to rest on his hip as he handed the Hulk backpack over to one of his two teachers with a smile and a soft ‘Goodmorning’. Striding over to the snack table, the man carefully sinked into one of the small, uncomfortable chairs with Hyunwoo still in his embrace. Positioning his baby so that he could sit comfortably on his lap, Namjoon pried his son’s hands from his neck, giving the younger a couple of butterfly kisses across his face.

“Daddy,” Hyunwoo squealed, placing his baby hands against the apple of Namjoon’s cheeks in attempt to stop the attack but he was too cute for the dad to resist.

“If you get your breakfast from Ms. Haein then I’ll stay with you until she starts,” Namjoon bargained with his son, the boy automatically squirming off the man’s lap and speed walking (because running wasn’t allowed in preschool apparently) to the young woman that was waiting for the boy to come to him, holding out the paper bag that you packed for him this morning before heading off to work yourself.

Walking back, Namjoon expected Hyunwoo to sit down in the chair next to him, but to his surprise, the boy climbed back onto his lap before opening the bag and unwrapping his breakfast burrito.

“You don’t wanna sit on the chair?,” Namjoon asked, amused smile playing on his lips as the three year old munched away, small dimples becoming visible as he chewed.

“Nuh uh,” Hyunwoo shook his head, leaning back against his dad’s chest, cuing the man to wrap his arms around the small figure of his son.

As Hyunwoo ate, Namjoon figured out why his son hated whenever he dropped him off. It was because the time period that he had with the man was so short compared to the hours he spent away from him. With the band’s schedule, it was hard to say exactly when Namjoon could take the time to either drop Hyunwoo off or pick him up. There was never a set day or time that he could promise to be there and Hyunwoo understood that which is what made Namjoon guilty beyond belief.

Watching his son, the man observed whatever he could, committing the image to memory. As the boy turned around and offered a bite to his dad, Namjoon just smiled at the cute gesture and shook his head.

“I’m sorry Hyun,” he said softly, kissing the back of the three year old’s head, lips pressed against the soft, dark brown strands of hair.

“What did daddy do?,” Hyunwoo asked innocently, the eyes he had taken from your side making Namjoon melt on the inside.

“Daddy’s always busy and he can’t always see you,” and it was true. You told him all the time that whenever he would be at the studio late, Hyunwoo would stay up just a little to see his dad before he went to bed or sometimes when Namjoon was away for a tour, Hyunwoo would sleep with you but on his side of the bed because he wanted to be ‘just like daddy’ and that made Namjoon’s heart hurt. No kid should have to grow up missing his dad.

Sensing the distress, Hyunwoo turned around in his dad’s lap, Namjoon’s arms instinctively coming up to cage the boy in a safe embrace where he could freely move around. Facing the man, the three year old with wide, beautiful eyes and the cutest dimples and the attitude of a thirty year old but the heart of a child stared at his dad. Where the time had gone, Namjoon had no idea, but as he looked at his baby, the dad was starstruck, falling in love with the best thing in his life (after you of course) all over again.

“Daddy do you like your job?,” Hyunwoo asked, finishing off his breakfast and leaning back to grab his milk carton.

Swiping it off the table for him, Namjoon brought the straw up to his small lips and prodded for Hyunwoo to hold it.

“Yeah, I really do buddy, but I never get to see you,” Namjoon replied sadly but his son just lit up, lips forming the brightest smile the man’s ever seen and he’s glad his son had gotten at least one good thing from him.

“But I always get to see you! Mommy says that every time I miss you, I can see you in my heart,” Hyunwoo said, pointing a small finger to his chest.

“So whenever you miss me, you can see me in your heart,” and he pointed the same small finger against Namjoon’s chest before laying his head in the same spot. “I really like your job too daddy, so don’t change it.”

“You do?,” Namjoon asked softly, stroking the boy’s hair.

“Mhm! I get to watch you and my uncles sing! Mommy makes fun of your dancing but I think you’re good,” Hyunwoo says, quickly finishing off his milk and putting on a serious face and imitating Yoongi’s part in Fire before wiggling around his body to what he thought was the beat.

Laughing and encouraging his son to keep going, the bell that signified 8:30 rang, making Namjoon a little sad at the thought of having to leave. Hearing the bell, Hyunwoo deflated a little too, sad at the reminder that his dad needed to leave him here.

“Alright time to go buddy,” Namjoon whispered, softening as the boy whined against his chest. “C’mon Hyun. Daddy gotta go to work.”

Relenting, the boy let his dad stand up. As Namjoon dropped another kiss to the top of his head and a quick ‘have fun’, Hyunwoo started to pout just a little. If there was any part of your personality that he took, it was the fact that he hated goodbyes.

Patting his son on the butt, Namjoon walked out the door, waving a hand at the boy who slowly started to migrate to the mat where the other kids were gathered. With a small smile, the man walked to his car, about to get in when he heard a small cry that he would be able to recognize anywhere.

“Daddy!,” Hyunwoo called, running out into the small garden of the classroom that faced the parking lot.

With a smile, the little boy tapped his chest where his heart was. Feeling the love suffocate him just a little, Namjoon tapped his own chest, a little teary eyed from how much he loved his son.

Satisfied, Hyunwoo waved another goodbye, running into the classroom where he sat pressed against the window, watching as Namjoon drove out of the parking lot with a huge smile and a hand pressed against his chest, feeling the happy thumps where he knew his son would stay.

a/n: so I volunteer at a preschool and this just happened to pop into my head

-M♡♡

#the concept of dad!nam is too cute for me to handle #namjoon #rap monster #namjoon scenario #namjoon imagine #rap monster scenarios #rap monster imagine #bts #bangtan boys #bts scenarios #bts imagines #pjay writing #qu

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luxvitae · 7 years

Text

It’s Us | Namjoon

Word Count: 4k

Summary: Good news: you went into labor. Bad news: where the fuck is your husband?

“It’s four in the goddamn morning I wanna go home”, Taehyung whined, head hitting the surface of the soundboard with a hollow ‘thud’.

“I’ve been here since yesterday”, Yoongi said, glaring at the back of the younger’s head, “Feel blessed you piece of shit.”

“One more time Jungkook. Try to accent the first beats a little more this time”, Namjoon said into the recording booth, starting the backtrack all over again.

Jimin and Hoseok were already out cold on the couch facing the booth, Seokjin about ready to drop dead. All seven had been in the studio since seven the night before, recording over and over again to get the parts just right. Their producer had already left for the night, but Yoongi and Namjoon wanted to keep going. They said there was already a flow, something they weren’t sure would come back if they had started up again in the next session.

“Hyung don’t you have a pregnant wife to attend to?”, Jimin had whined when they were all forced to stay in the studio together.

Yes, Namjoon did have a pregnant wife to attend to, but he knew that you were more than capable of looking after yourself, especially with your sister and himself just a call away to help if something went wrong. Which is why, as the leader, he locked all the members in the studio with the goal of rough recording all the songs that were going to hopefully be on the new album.

“Guys one more chorus and we can go home”, Namjoon called, hearing Jimin wake up immediately, choking on the snore he was half way through.

“Seriously?”, he asks, shooting up when he saw the older nod, hitting awake Hoseok and Seokjin next to him.

“One more chorus you nutsacks then we can go home. Lead the way daddy-o”, Jimin said loudly, marching straight into the booth, pushing Jungkook to the side.

It had been a running joke in the past eight and a half months, calling Namjoon daddy. It was disgusting and cringeworthy and wrong sounding in every possible way, but the way his ears turn red is entertaining enough for all the boys to enjoy.

Halfway into the chorus, Yoongi gets a phone call, interrupting the session. All the boys groan at the noise signifying that they’re recording that section all over again. From the top. Leaving the room to answer the call, the boys start up again, Namjoon taking over the sound board.

The chorus was going smooth, just the way Namjoon needed it to go so he could dismiss everyone to go home, but when they were almost done, Yoongi burst into the room with wild eyes, clutching his phone in his hand.

“Namjoon we gotta go”

You were having the time of your life, believe me, you were. It was four in the morning, Hoseok had rerouted the wifi signal so it was perfectly strong by the couch, the cord for your phone charger was long enough so you could lay down, and you had just finished the first of four half frozen peanut butter pop tarts that surrounded you while Safety, you and Namjoon’s German Shepherd, laid his head in your lap. It was eight and a half months into your pregnancy and yeah, you were getting close to your due date, but judging from the doctor’s appointment you went to last week, there was nothing to do but wait

“Hi baby”, you cooed, rubbing your belly slowly but gently, smiling as Safety just nuzzled his nose against the bump.

“Everyone’s waiting for you to come out. Daddy’s working really hard so he can stay with us for a little bit. All your uncle’s are excited”, you whispered even if you didn’t need to; no one else was in the house anyway. But whispering had felt more personal, like you had a stronger connection to the little being inside of you.

The gender reveal had yet to happen, but you and Namjoon agreed that you would wait until the little nugget is born before finding out what the sex was. Of course you had your preference whether it was a boy or a girl, but as you caressed your stomach, you didn’t find it in yourself to care. Boy or girl, you and Namjoon are going to love them just the same.

Your husband of one year wasn’t home yet, knowing he was working hard at the studio with the boys. Their comeback was soon approaching and when that was done, he was to be given a break since you would've gave birth by then. Of course, you didn't mind. You loved that Namjoon took both the boys and his family into consideration when planning with their CEO.

Reruns of old Friends’ episodes had began playing just as you were starting to doze off. The baby was suspiciously calm under your touch, but you couldn’t complain. If it meant getting a decent power nap in for the first time in a few months, you were down.

It wasn’t until Safety started to whine loudly and the first wave of pain washed over you that you realized your water had broke.

Widening your eyes, you looked at Safety who pushed your phone to you.

“It’s baby time”

The studio was in chaos as soon as Yoongi broke the news. Seokjin ran off to get the car, Yoongi was rushing to save all the recordings they did today, Hoseok called all the managers and Namjoon’s parents, while the three youngest were in charge of cleaning up and gathering the things Namjoon keeps at the studio in case the day came when they were there. And it just so happened they were.

“Jungkook move your fat ass out of the way!”

“Where the fuck is the fucking car keys I swear to god I’m gonna kill whoever hid it-”

“STOP TOUCHING THE SOUND BOARD IF YOU DON’T WANNA BE HERE ANOTHER TEN HOURS TOMORROW

“Taehyung get the fucking bag-”

“The bag is in the fucking car-”

“The bag is in the closet you dumbfucks

“Namjoon don’t just stand there!”

The leader couldn’t help it. His wife, the beautiful woman he loved so much, was going to give birth to your first child.

You were giving birth.

YOU WERE GIVING BIRTH

“HOLY SHIT I’M ABOUT TO BE A DAD”, Namjoon yelled, almost knocking over one of Yoongi’s stupid Yankee candles he lights whenever he’s working on something.

“No fuck”, Jimin said sarcastically, pushing the older out the door and through the hall since he was deemed incapable of walking on his own fast enough.

“I’m about to be a father!”, Namjoon said, his big brain shouting it over and over in his head until he made himself dizzy.

“Alright daddy get into the car”, the younger said as soon as Seokjin pulled up with the van, all six boys trying to get into the car all at the same time.

“Does everyone had their seatbelts on-”

“SEOKJIN FUCKING DRIVE”

“CUT THE ATTITUDE JUNG HOSEOK”

“Y/n, honey, you have to breath properly okay? You’re not going to help anyone if you hyperventilate”, your sister said, trying to calm you down as the contractions started to get worse.

“I want- I want my- ahh- I want my h-husband”, you breathed out, letting little screams leave your mouth as another wave hit you.

The ride to the hospital with your sister was not a helpful one, especially when the older was someone who had failed the road test a total of seven times before getting her license. You couldn’t believe the time had come; you weren’t expecting it in the least. The week before, you just had a doctor’s appointment to check on the progress of the baby and the due date wasn’t until for another week or so.

“I know, I know sweetie. He’s on his way with all the boys, but he’s coming from the studio, he’s not going to be here for another twenty minutes”, your sister said, grimacing when you squeezed her hand a little too tight.

The contractions were starting to get more frequent, each one having about five seconds between to let you breathe, but that was almost impossible. It was so painful; feeling like someone was splitting you in half from the inside out.

The doctor came in after ten minutes, checking up on you and how much you dilated to determine if you were ready to start pushing, but you didn’t want to start until Namjoon was by your side. Each contraction was overlapping now, not giving you any time to think about how fucking painful it was. Sweat had rolled down your face and around your neck, the nurse wiping it off when she had the time to.

“Breathe, y/n, breathe”, your sister said, breathing herself to get you to follow her, but you couldn’t. Your mind was clouded with pain as the doctor administered more epidural.

“Mrs. Kim, I think you’re ready to start pushing”, the doctor said, glancing under the sheet to see you fully dilated.

“No”, you grunted, “I’m AHHHH I’m not pushing until my husband is her- AHHHH”

“Is there any other way to get there?!”, Yoongi yelled, honking the horn into the traffic for Seokjin who was busy trying to look up other routes they could take.

“Oh my god. Oh My God. OH MY GOD. I NEED TO BE AT THE HOSPITAL RIGHT.NOW.”, Namjoon yelled, the panic and excitement getting the best of him as he rolled down the window and yelling at the car in front of them.

Just as he was rolling the window back up, his phone rang, his sister in law’s name flashing.

“Hello-”

“NAMJOON SHE’S READY TO START PUSHING WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU DUMMIES”, your sister yelled, Namjoon grimacing and pulling the phone away from his ear.

“We’re stuck in traffic trying to get there- wait. SHE’S READY TO PUSH?! ALREADY?!”, the older yelled into the phone, causing Hoseok to jump in his seat.

“Seokjin-”, Jungkook called, warning the older to either hurry the fuck up or they’ll all die in the car from too much carbon dioxide from Namjoon’s heavy breathing.

“I swear to god Kim Seokjin if you don’t hurry up-”

“FOUND IT”

“OH MY-”

“-GOD WHERE THE FUCK IS MY HUSBAND”, you screamed, holding your sister’s hand a little too tight for comfort from the pain you were going through.

Even if you didn’t want to push just yet, baby didn’t really want to wait for daddy. But holy crap, if you knew how much pain that was actually going to be, you probably would’ve mentally prepared yourself a little better.

“Breath. Breathe sweetie breathe”, you sister coached, not bothered by your iron grip on her own hand.

“Mrs. Kim, you need to start pushing the baby won’t be able to withstand the pressure”, the doctor said, positioning herself between your legs to administer another shot of epidural for you.

“My husband-”

“Y/n, Namjoon will be here soon, but you have to start pushing”, your sister said seriously next to you, only being able to see her eyes behind the mask she had to wear.

“Okay”, you said breathlessly, the sweat and tears mixing together as you finally listened to the doctor and started to push.

“Okay here’s the plan”, Seokjin said, the hospital finally in sight, “Yoongi and Hoseok takes Namjoon to the room, Taehyung and Jungkook is reserving seats for the seven of us in the waiting room, Jimin is waiting for me in the lobby to park the car, and Namjoon you’re getting the fuck into that room, okay? Alright great”

Once the light turned green, Seokjin stepped on the gas, turning into the hospital drop off area. In a record time of three seconds, all six men were out of the car, dragging bags and each other through the doors.

Namjoon, on the other hand, was the first one out of the car, into the lobby, and at the reception, your name ready to roll off his tongue before even reaching the counter.

“My wife- giving birth- Kim”, the older said breathlessly, already positioning himself to start running when the man told him the room number.

“Kim y/n?”

“Yes. Yes Kim y/n c’mon man my wife is giving birth you gotta be faster than this”

“Delivery room 34”

Taking off in the first direction he saw, Namjoon zoomed through the hospital, trying to avoid obstacles the best he could.

“NAMJOON DELIVERY ROOMS ARE THIS WAY”

“I’m gonna kill him AHHHHHH when he gets here”, you screamed, having pushed three times already.

The pain was excruciating; having to push a body out of your own. But the only thing you could think of was the fact that this body, this being, is yours and Namjoon’s. It’s your baby to love and protect. But damn if Namjoon really wasn’t here in the next two seconds you were going to flip the table you were laying on. There was no way you were going to let him miss the birth of your first child. Not when it was this painful.

Just as the doctor was counting to three again for another push, the door of the delivery room opened and in scrambled a flustered Namjoon still trying to tie the hospital scrubs and the hair cap between his teeth.

“Namj-”

“Push!”

You screamed as you pushed on impulse, feeling the crown of the baby’s head breach and you swear under your breath because holy shit this baby took on Namjoon’s big head.

“Why are you just standing there?! Get over here!”, you hear your sister yell at your husband as the waves of pain somewhat decrease.

“I'm not sure I want to”, Namjoon said, voice shaky from hearing your screams of pain.

“What are you-”

“KIM NAMJOON GET OVER HERE OR SO HELP ME I WILL SAW OFF YOUR DICK SO WE DON’T HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS AGAIN”

Being at your side in the blink of an eye, he grabbed your hand from your sister’s hold only to regret it. You clamped onto his hand, the other running through your hair as you breathed heavily.

“Baby we’re having a baby”, he whispered in your ear and if you weren't being told to push a small being out of your vagaina, then you would've choked up.

You were having a baby. You and Namjoon were having a baby. This baby is the creation of you and Kim Namjoon. Holy crap. This baby is 110% you and Namjoon. This baby is your future with your husband who you love so much.

“Namjoon”, you wheezed, feeling lightheaded from all the effort pushing took out from you, “It hurts so much. I don’t think I can-”

“No no no. Love, no. C’mon you can do this. I’m right here”, he said, kissing the top of your head repeatedly as your chest rose and fell in quick intervals.

“You’re going great Y/n, just one more push”, the doctor encouraged, all the nurses rushing around you to get the towels and the portable crib.

It felt like you were surrounded in a sea of pain; the baby’s shoulders expanding your vigina way more than you felt comfortable. You couldn’t feel anything other than the pain. Just when you were thinking of giving up and going into a forced c-section, Namjoon squeezed your hand tighter than it was around his own, stroking your head in peaceful intervals. He kissed your head and wiped your sweat from your face, and at that moment you knew. This baby, this child, is your family now, and there was no way someone, even yourself, was going to take that away from you.

So, with a huge gulp of air and a squeeze from Namjoon’s hand, you closed your eyes and pushed with all the effort you could muster from the fours hours you had been in labor. The fuzzy feeling in your head came back from the strain, but you didn’t stop. You weren’t going to stop until the baby was born. So you held your breath and pushed harder than you could comprehend, bringing Namjoon’s hand to your chest as you curled into yourself in attempts to gather more strength.

“Just a little more y/n. Come on you got this”, you heard your sister say next to you.

It wasn’t until you heard the shrill cry of a newborn baby that you realized it was all over. Falling back against the bed, you breathed heavily, eyes still closed, ready to pass out from exhaustion, but the sinking of reality stopped you. The baby was born. You and Namjoon had another addition to your family. That fact alone was enough to have you shed tears of happiness mixing with the tears from the pain.

“Sweetie, you did it”, Namjoon said, his own tears mixing with yours as he pressed a quick peck on your forehead, “I’m so proud of you.”

“Date of Birth: March 28, 2019 at 8:16 am at 19 inches and 8 pounds. Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Kim, you gave birth to a healthy baby boy”, the doctor beamed at the two of you, wiping the excess blood from the tiny body.

“Mr. Kim, would you like to cut the umbilical cord?”

Namjoon looked at you with excited eyes, but a film of fear over them. You just smiled tiredly, nodding your head to encourage him to go. He didn’t want to hurt you, but as he took the scissors from the nurse’s hands and positioned it right in the middle of the cord, he choked up all over again, taking a peek at his new son.

You were out like a light before Namjoon could even cut the cord, all the pushing and anesthetics wearing you out more than you were physically used to. Originally, you had feared falling asleep and missing out on the chance of naming the baby for two reasons: 1) you were missing the second important part of any birth and 2) there was no way in hell you were trusting Namjoon (Kim Namjoon of all people) to give a name to a baby much less his own.

“Mr. Kim, would you like to name him now or wait until your wife wakes up?”, one of the nurses asked as your son was being transported from the delivery room to the nursery to be cleaned.

Namjoon just smiled, knowing you were scared of him naming the baby on his own, but he had a great name up his sleeve that he knew even you would approve of.

“Kim Hyunwoo. His name is Kim Hyungwoo.”

“Hey guys”, Namjoon greeted tiredly, exiting the delivery room to see the boys asleep uncomfortable positions on the plastic waiting room chairs.

Shooting awake at the sound of their leader’s voice, all six of them were up and at him in less than a minute, their excited gazes overriding the need for sleep.

“How’d it go?”

“Is sister-in-law okay?”

“How’s the baby?”

“Is it a boy or a girl?”

“What’s the name?”

“Size?”

“STOP”, Namjoon said loudly, looking at all the member’s expecting gazes with a smug look.

“It’s a boy”

All at once, the boy’s voices were loud and overlapping, all of them wondering if the new baby was named after them.

“Is he named after me?”, Hoseok asked, shaking Namjoon’s arm to get his attention above all the other boys who wanted to know the same thing.

The older just frowned playfully. “Why would my precious child be named after any of you idiots?”

“What’s his name then?”

“Kim Hyunwoo”

“HYUN IS CLOSE ENOUGH TO HYUNG”

“Taehyung shut up”

Staring through the big window that overlooked all the newborn babies in the nursery, Namjoon just smiled to himself as he spotted his son resting peacefully in one of the small beds. He definitely had your rosy cheeks and cheekbones from what the new dad could tell from so far away.

“Take a good look now before he starts to grow up”, a voice said behind him, Yoongi’s arm coming across to rest on the younger’s shoulder. “How’s it feel?”

Namjoon just lightly, tears slowly clouding his eyes. “It’s so surreal. It feels as if just yesterday I was getting married to the woman of my dreams and all of a sudden we’ve built a family. It feels like a dream that I wouldn’t mind not waking up from.”

Yoongi just smiled at him, feeling the happiness radiating off of his skin. It had been a long journey for both you and Namjoon; Yoongi could definitely admit to that, but he was proud of the both of you. Not only was Namjoon the first one of them to settle down, but he was the first member of BTS. He was the one that made what all seven of them were today, and Yoongi felt more than pride in seeing his leader, no, brother so happy. He deserved it.

Just as Yoongi was about to walk back to the waiting room to join the other boys in a hospital cafeteria food breakfast, Namjoon stopped the him.

“Hyung I- Y/n and I were wondering if... if you would be Hyunwoo’s godfather?”, Namjoon said, looking at him with a hopeful smile.

Pulling the younger into a tight hug, Yoongi ignored the prickling feeling in the back of his eyes and just playfully sneered at him.

“Of course I’ll be his godfather you assnugget”

Of all the things you have woken up to, nothing could compare to waking up and seeing a nervous Namjoon next to an equally nervous nurse as your husband picked up your son for the first time.

An unconscious smiled tugged at your lips as the nervousness was slowly replaced by amazement as Namjoon looked down at the baby and saw himself in him. The cute little button nose and the wide eyes looking up at his father in wonder; you felt at ease seeing your son’s tiny hands wrapped around Namjoon’s finger.

“Hi baby”, you heard him say softly once the nurse left to give him some alone time, “my name is Namjoon. I’m your dad. It’s nice to meet you Kim Hyunwoo. You gave mommy a little bit of a hard time these last few hours, but you just wanted to meet her, huh? You look just like mommy, so beautiful. And you’re going to grow strong and tall one day, but mommy and daddy are going to be right beside you, to protect you and to love you”

Looking over to where you lay, he met your eyes in a soft gaze and slowly walked over to your bedside as you pushed yourself up to meet him halfway, your husband adding a little bounce in his step to keep the baby calm.

“Alright Hyunwoo, time to meet mommy. Show off that charm daddy gave you”, Namjoon said playfully, transferring the baby into your arms.

Seeing your son for the first time felt like the wind was knocked out of your lungs, his whole being was breathtaking. You could see how he resembled both you and Namjoon and you couldn’t help but get a little teary as your son, Hyunwoo, opened his bright eyes and reached for your face with his tiny baby hands. Namjoon, smiling at the first meeting of mother and son, just sat next to you on the bed, wrapping you up in a warm embrace that made you even more emotional.

“Hi Hyunwoo I’m mommy”, you greeted through watery giggled, your own hand coming up to gently meet his, “It’s nice to meet you.”

a/n: so i didn’t realize tumblr unlinked and deleted this post so here it is again LOL

-M♡♡

#reup #namjoon #namjoon scenario #namjoon imagine #rap monster #rap monster scenarios #rap monster imagine #bts scenarios #bts imagines #bts #bangtan boys #pjay writing

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luxvitae · 7 years

Text

Come Here Baby | Jungkook

Word Count: 1k

Based on a prompt from this list

Being the girlfriend of star pitcher Jeon Jungkook of Hanbit High School was really fun. Fun in the sense that you got to make fun of him and those tight pants he has to wear, but also fun because unlike most people, you’re allowed to watch them practice, which is how you ended up sitting up in the uncomfortable metal bleachers with your Chemistry textbook in hand, eyes following the familiar figure of your boyfriend.

“I don’t know why you insisted on bringing your homework with you, we all know you’re gonna end up cramming tomorrow morning anyway,” Yoongi, Jungkook’s older brother, said gruffly next to you, still grumpy that his little brother forgot his car this morning and he has to wait for practice to end to go home.

“Why don’t you just go home and come back. I’ll text you when their practice is ending,” you said, even if you knew it was all just a front; Yoongi loved watching his little brother practice. It was sorta like a pride thing.

Not responding, the senior just leaned back against the higher bleacher, crossing his arms and closing his eyes for a quick nap. Smiling, you trained your eyes back to the diamond where you saw Taehyung aimlessly swinging his bat back and forth while a coach sets up for batting practice. Up a bit further by first base, Yugyeom, your boyfriend’s best friend and the junior captain of the team, gathered some of the members, Jungkook included.

You still didn’t understand baseball, even after all the times Jungkook would try to explain it to you, but if there was one thing you could confidently say while looking at a baseball field, it would be that Jeon Jungkook in his uniform was sinful. Maybe it was because he’s been playing since his younger years, maybe it was just because fitting was coming around and he need to be remeasured for another uniform, but all you knew was that your boyfriend looked the absolute hottest in his baseball jersey and pants. His quads were strained against the snug material of his tights, butt looking amazing with his home jersey tucked perfectly at the waistband, black undershirt peeking up from under the shirt

Watching the small formation break, you followed your boyfriend’s figure to the pitcher’s position, meeting his eyes as he sent you a smile and a wink, the gesture still sending butterflies through your stomach even if you’ve been together for forever. Chemistry textbook forgotten on your lap, you smiled as he winded up a curveball, bringing the ball up to his face before throwing his entire body with his arm. Jungkook’s whole body tensed and tightened, all the years of precision practice paying off as the ball followed through with the movement of his arm. Another attractive picture that you had etched into your mind. After a few more rounds of practice, the coaches called a water break, immediately prompting you to run down the bleachers with Jungkook’s bottle in hand.

“Hey,” he smiled, a little breathless from running over just as quickly.

“Hey you,” you said back, handing him the clear plastic bottle, watching his adam's apple bob under the pressure of the water being swallowed, wiping a few stray beads of sweat trailing to his neck.

“Are we still on for tonight?,” he asked, knowing very well that you both had tests to study for, hence the forgotten textbook next to a sleeping Yoongi finally being remembered.

“Well, if you stay in your uniform long enough, we’ll see,” you said smirking when you saw your boyfriend wink at you from behind the bottle.

“Didn’t know you were into that”

“Right now isn’t the time to kink-shame Jeon”

Turning at the sound of the coaches yelling to get back into formation, you quickly took the bottle from his hands before he could gulp down more then complain about side pain later.

“C’mon Jeon just kiss her and get over here,” Yugyeom yelled, followed by the prodding shouts of the rest of the boys. Shaking your head with a smile on your face, you turned to leave before you felt a familiar hand catch your wrist, turning you around to face a sweaty fringe and playful eyes

“This is what happens when you’re single,” Jungkook teased, gently bringing your head down to meet his smiling lips, the boy’s erupting in a fit of hoops and howls.

When you got enough of having sweat being smashed between your noses, you straightened your back, whispering at him to get back to practice before his coach makes him stay behind to clean up like last time. Turning around, you leaned down mischievously, smacking the curve of your boyfriend’s butt that looked amazing in his baseball pants.

“Make me proud Jeon,” you called, leaning your head on the palm of your hand, watching as he jogged to the pitcher's mound.

“Hey babe!,” he called, making you perk up, “when you get a second, stop looking at my ass.”

Shrugging at him from where you stood, the hoots from the guys going ignored on your part, you playfully glared at Jungkook as he warmed his arm back up while keeping his eyes on you

“Can’t help it,” you yelled back, “You’re ass is lookin’ good.”

Crawling back up the bleachers where Yoongi still sat, unmoved from when you left him, you watched as practice resumed with some of the boys nudging Jungkook by his shoulder in teasing.

“So you got a thing for butts now, huh?”

“Not a word, Yoongi. Not a word.”

a/n: it had to be done

-M♡♡

#LOL so yeah baseball boys always have nice butts #bts #bangtan boys #bts scenarios #bts imagines #jungkook scenarios #jungkook imagines #jeongguk scenarios #jeongguk imagine #jungkook #jeongguk #bts baseball #jungkook baseball #jeongguk baseball #pjay writing

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luxvitae · 7 years

Text

Unsteady | Angst | Taekook

Word Count: 5.8k

Summary: What happens if someone you love doesn’t love you back?You throw up flowers. And then die. Kinda dramatic if you ask Taehyung.

I | II

When Taehyung woke up, he was greeted with the white ceiling and sterile smell of the campus infirmary, a soft hand he automatically knew as Jimin’s holding his own. His memory is hazy and he wasn't sure how long he was unconscious, but when he catches sight of a small bucket filled halfway with flower petals near his head, the harsh reality sunk in.

“Tae!”, Jimin exclaimed, eyes red rimmed and teary, “are you okay? How are you feeling?”

Not responding to his friend’s voices of concern, Taehyung just stared at the bucket, the hatred for it growing with the pain he felt deep in his chest.

“He doesn't- Jungkook-”

“No! Kim Taehyung do not do that to yourself,” Jimin said, face contorting into a sad frown.

“Is that why you freaked out when I said it was him? Because you knew he didn’t love me back?,” Taehyung asked in a monotone voice, staring straight ahead at the ceiling.

“It’s not that he doesn’t love you back,” Jimin sighed, letting go of the other boy’s hand to run it through his hair in frustration, wondering to himself how he let his best friend fall for the one guy that wouldn’t catch him, “It’s because he can’t. He’s straight, straighter than an arrow. And he has a girlfriend that he wouldn’t leave for the world.”

Suddenly, everything made sense in the harsh, sadistic way the world worked. Of course Jeon Jungkook wouldn’t love him back. Of course Jeon Jungkook had a girlfriend. Of course Jeon Jungkook, the only boy he had ever loved in his entire life, would be the reason why Kim Taehyung is on the hard, uncomfortable bed of the university infirmary, coughing up flower petals and dying from the inside out. But the weird thing was, Taehyung wasn’t hurting from the flowers or from the throbbing pain his lungs were in, but instead, the thing that made his heart clench and his throat to tighten was the mere idea that the boy who Taehyung was ready to give his everything to, the boy that made him feel things he’s only ever read in books from the 50’s, would never be able to replicate his feelings. And as he lay on the bed with his best friend holding his hand, he couldn’t help but think how pitifully funny it was that the fact that Jungkook didn��t love him in return hurt more than the prospect of eventually dying at the age of 22.

“Get some more rest. You’ve been hacking away all day since you passed out,” Jimin said, seeing how many emotions the boy was thinking all at once.

Pulling up the blanket a little further, Taehyung realized how tired he really was. That the emotional warfare had taken more of a toll on his body than the flowers of death budding in his chest.

“Don’t leave,” Taehyung pleaded at Jimin weakly as he was feeling asleep, holding onto the other boy’s hand.

Smiling, Jimin nodded, patting the hand of his dying best friend. “I’m not going anywhere.”

If Taehyung could wake up feeling like more shit, then he’d really want to know what that felt like because apparently, coughing up flowers wasn’t enough, no. He just had to wake up to Jeon Jungkook holding onto his hand for dear life in a new setting that was his dorm.

“Tae! You’re awake! I heard what happened, are you feeling okay?!,” Jungkook fussed, standing up to lean over the older in a way that made his chest hurt. And it wasn’t because of the flowers.

Not having the heart to turn away from the younger like the red alarms in his head was telling him to do, Taehyung just painfully smiled and nodded, ignoring the flower-induced bile threatening to come up any minute. He couldn't tell the other to stop giving him that stupidly cute smile or stop caring about him because to tell the truth, he didn't want to. Even if it wasn't out of love, Taehyung could pretend to make it a little less painful.

“I'm fine don't worry about me,” he said softly, turning over to signify that he was going to sleep more but in reality, he didn't want to face the reason why he was dying in the first place.

“I'm gonna find the bitch that doesn't love you back and knock some sense into her for not seeing what an amazing person you are,” Jungkook said lightly, not even realizing how his words had wiggles their way into Taehyung’s head, causing him to self destruct even more.

The older just wanted to cry because all of a sudden, his chest was on fire and it wasn't because of the stupid plants in his lungs trying to kill him. It was because Jeon Jungkook, the first person he’s loved since he met Jimin, the reason why he's dying in the first place, has the utmost straight mentality and it's utterly offending. That he thinks Taehyung is dying because of a girl. Unbelievable. In retrospect, it's partially the older’s fault for not opening up about his sexuality, there was no way Jungkook was going to guess that he enjoys the male specimen over the female especially with the type of society that they live in as Koreans.

“It's not-,” Taehyung started, wanting to clarify as much as possible but was promptly cut off by Jimin who was coming back in from a phone call.

“Tae! You're up!,” he said in surprise, whipping his head to Jungkook’s hunched over figure next to the bed, “Kook, can you do me a favor and run down to the infirmary real quick to get Taehyung’s medical report? He has a doctor’s appointment tomorrow morning.”

“But I wanna stay with him-”

“Jungkook,” Jimin said, voice low and warning.

Catching the hint, the younger got up, not without a huff, and dragged his feet out the door, acting like a child throwing a tantrum.

Once he was out the door, Jimin rolled his eyes and gave Taehyung a look. “That's the boy you're in love with?”

Knowing his friend was just trying to make a joke out of the situation, Taehyung tried to lighten up by letting out a weak chuckle, but on the inside, it felt like someone has stabbed him then removed the blade right after. Yes, that's the boy he was in love with, but that was also the boy that didn't love him back.

“Sorry I just-,” Jimin tried to apologize but Taehyung just shook his head.

“It's fine Ji-”

“No it's not. I know I shouldn't have let him in the infirmary but he just kept knocking and I didn't want him to wake you up because the only way to slow the flowers is if you're sleeping so I opened the door to tell him to scram and that fat ass just forced the door open and-,” Jimin rambled, playing with his fingers in the way that the other knew he was nervous.

“Jimin,” Taehyung stopped the older, making him look at his best friend, “stop it. I'm not blaming you for anything. He would've found out sooner or later.”

“But he’s the reason why you’re like this in the first place! You need to stay away from him as much as possible to at least try to fall out of love with him,” Jimin argued, causing Taehyung to frown at the idea of being away from Jungkook. To never see his cute smile or to hear his calming voice, even the thought of that vanishing was a little too much for his already broken heart to bear.

“I can’t,” Taehyung said simply but sadly, and Jimin understood. What he was asking of the younger was a lot and he knew that it was hard enough hearing it, but he needed to make the other boy understand. He needed the younger to understand that although staying away from Jungkook was hard on him, watching Taehyung cough out flowers knowing he was dying was almost unbearable to Jimin.

“How’d I get back to the dorm?,” Taehyung suddenly asks, trying to lighten the somber mood that embraced the two boys.

“He carried you back. Something about not wanting you to stay down there”

At the mention of Jungkook again and the idea of him carrying Taehyung all the way from the infirmary to the dorm, silence overtook them again and Taehyung hated it. He hated how Jimin felt like he couldn’t talk without the fear that he might hurt the other boy’s feelings. He hated how he couldn’t even look Jungkook in the eyes after knowing he had read everything wrong. But most of all, he hated how he couldn’t even bring himself to care more about the fact that he was dying over the fact that the first person he ever loved in such a way pretty much destroyed him.

When Jungkook came back with the papers in his hand, Jimin left to finalize some of the appointments tomorrow, making Taehyung smile at what a perfect best friend he had. Really, he didn’t even deserve Jimin’s attention in the slightest of ways, yet fate had decided to gift him such an angel as a best friend. Damn Taehyung was lucky.

“Are you feeling okay? Do you need or feel like you need more rest?”

Oh yeah he’s still here.

Facing the younger from the stationary position Jimin threatened him into, Taehyung just took a couple of minutes to look, actually look, at him. He tried to see where he had gone wrong, where he had interpreted the wrong sample from the wrong species. The older asked himself how he couldn’t have seen the signs when they had spent almost the whole four months together; from the early lab sessions to the late nights, through all the movies they saw and the lunch dates they had, even going as far as picking Taehyung up from his dorm to make sure they got to class on time.

But the real question was, when had he decided that falling for someone was okay? Kim Taehyung had lived 22 years not even the slightest bit concerned about having a boyfriend or about his domestic future in general. Driven to become who he had always dreamed to be, Taehyung never thought about having another person in his life that wasn’t Jimin or Yoongi. He used to be so focused, but Jeon Jungkook had come into the picture and somehow messed up the colors, yet the painting was still there. It frustrated the older, seeing the other boy care so damn much yet he had to ask himself why he was here in the first place.

“I'm fine,” Taehyung said curtly, trying not to speak more than he needed to in case some poppy’s decided to show up in his mouth.

Nodding his head, Jungkook had noticed the way the older shifted away from him and he didn't like it. So, being the absolute piece of shit that Jimin believed he was, Jungkook lifted the blanket only to squeeze in next to Taehyung, not even listening to the loud protests that came out of the older’s mouth in words that he's never heard used together.

“This is nice,” Jungkook said cheekily, happy that he won while Taehyung felt like being punched in the groin a couple times instead of lying in the same bed, this close to Jeon Jungkook.

Trying to use force to kick the younger off the bed, Taehyung realized that there was no way he was going to be able to move the huge, dense mass that is Jeon Jungkook so he did the only logical thing. He left. Well, tried to. Because once the younger had caught onto Taehyung trying to leave, he wrapped his arms around the older’s middle, pulling him into a strong embrace against the other’s solid chest, making Taehyung’s heart race at the position they were now in.

“I thought I told you not to lie to me,” Jungkook whispered but in the silence, it sounded like a scream.

“I didn't say anything,” Taehyung just said, trying to calm his heart and the burning in his chest, but failing simultaneously.

“Are you really okay?,” the younger asked, Taehyung feeling his heart drop at how worried Jungkook sounded, his head leaning against the top of the older’s back.

And Taehyung had told himself, holding in whatever flower threatening to cough up, that even if Jungkook’s feelings were fabricated, even if they weren’t real or weren’t for him or didn’t even exist in the slightest way possible, Taehyung could live with pretending. He could delude himself into believing the feelings were there. He could do that. He could take those tones of worry and concern because even if they weren’t in the correct context, they were there. And to Taehyung that was enough. He was dying anyway.

“How's he doing?,” Yoongi’s thick voice sounded through the speaker of Jimin’s phone, the younger sitting outside of the dorm to give Taehyung and Jungkook space.

“Not good,” Jimin sighed, leaning his head against the wall behind him, “He's inside with Jungkook now, but I don't know if he's talking yet. The flowers show up whenever he speaks.”

“Isn't there, I don't know, treatment or some kind of drug doctors can give him to kill the plants in there or to slow the process?,” Yoongi asked, feeling his boyfriend shake his head through the phone.

“There's nothing,” Jimin choked, the hot, frustrated tears gathering in his eyes.

“Babe-”

“Almost a hundred years this damn disease has been dormant. Why now?! Why Taehyung?!,” Jimin all but screamed, “Why him?”

Yoongi didn't answer on the other line because he knew he couldn't. He didn't have an answer and he didn't have any words of comfort that wouldn't be a lie. Hanahaki was worse than cancer, the result already predetermined; the victim was going to die no matter what unless they can somehow fall out of love before the flowers killed them.

“Jimin,” Yoongi said softly, wishing he was there in person, “I already booked my flight. I should be coming in by tomorrow afternoon.”

Getting himself together and trying to focus on looking forward to seeing his boyfriend in person again for the first time in months since he went off to get his masters at a different university.

“Are you gonna stay with Namjoon?,” Jimin asked, forcefully wiping away the tears before they could finish forming.

Yoongi just sighed on the other end. “No I'm staying with Hoseok. I don't think Namjoon and Seokjin know yet.”

Pursing his lips, the younger inwardly groaned, thinking of how much havoc would break loose once Seokjin even caught wind of what happened to Taehyung but he knew he couldn't just keep the older boy out of the loop. Although Taehyung didn't believe it, there were people other than Jimin who cared about him, they just weren't around all the time for him to see it. When Taehyung got in trouble for losing a lab sample, it was Namjoon who talked to his professor and convinced him to let the boy go. When Taehyung's birthday came around, since he refused to go anywhere special, Seokjin and Hoseok would always bake cookies and cakes and leave it everywhere in the dorm for Taehyung to find throughout the day. Whenever Jimin and Yoongi would have a date night, it never went without dragging Taehyung out of the dorm and having a hangout night instead of a date night. Thinking of all the times that Taehyung was surrounded by love, Jimin couldn't help but be bitter. Because their love wasn't enough. Their love couldn't save him.

“Babe,” Yoongi whispered from the phone that Jimin almost forgot he was holding, “I can feel you internally beating yourself up so stop it. It’s not your fault, none of us knew he was even talking to this kid. If we could have saved him, I'm sure all of us would do it in a heartbeat-”

“But we can't! Yoongi, I have to watch my best friend die from love knowing I can't save him with my own,” fully aware of how loud he was being in the middle of a hallway in the middle of the day.

But Jimin didn't care because he was hurting and it wasn't the kind of hurting that hit you all at once then slowly receded. This kind of hurting came in waves, just when he thinks everything will actually be okay, he's painfully reminded that it won't be. That Kim Taehyung, the same Kim Taehyung he's known since he was being picked on in the third grade and came to the smaller’s rescue, was eventually going to die when he did nothing wrong but love a boy who couldn't love him back. It was unfair. It was so unfair that Jimin wanted to yell and scream and throw a tantrum and tell the dean to expel Jungkook and demand that doctors get those goddamn flowers out of his chest but he couldn't because they couldn't.

“Yoongi,” Jimin whispered, feeling tired and scared and broken, “what do you do when your best friend is dying?”

“I don't know love. I really don't know”

“There is no way you're going back to classes so soon,” Jimin argued, crossing his arms over his chest and blocking the doorway of their dorm with his small but solid built. It's only been a couple of days since Taehyung had coughed up the first of many petals and he was tired of just laying in bed all day. And if he was restricted to his dorm, Jungkook knew exactly where to find him and it wasn't that he was avoiding the younger, but that's exactly what he was doing.

“Jimin,” Taehyung groaned, already ready for his first class, “I can't stay here all day until I die.”

As much as the boy hated using the death card, it was the only way Jimin listened to him. Appointment after appointment, they can almost gone to every hospital in the country trying to find a doctor that would have a valid explanation or some kind of treatment, but no one could. ‘It was impossible to have Hanahaki’ they said. And his best friend went almost ballistic, demanding that they don't give up now. If it wasn't for Taehyung yelling at him and telling him he was going to die anyway, they probably would've been boarding a plane to America with the crappy tickets they could afford on a student budget instead of arguing at 8 in the morning.

“And you’re not because you’re not gonna die; not on my watch. Your ass is not leaving me here,” Jimin said, recently slipping into the stage of denial when someone you love is terminally ill.

Before Taehyung could formulate a whine in retort, a solid knock resonated through the dorm, making both of their heads snap to the door. He could already sense who was behind it and it seemed like Jimin could too because he looked back with a pained expression, knowing he had two options: open the door or have Jungkook kick the door open himself. Greeted with that dorky smile and his circular glasses perched on his perfect nose, Taehyung found himself staring at the younger in awe. He was so beautiful and ethereal that it seemed almost unfair.

“I’m here to pick up a Kim Taehyung to bring him to his 8:30 class,” Jungkook announced, dodging the kick to the shin from Jimin and side stepping his way into the room.

Getting his things together, but not forgetting the suppressant pills a doctor from Ilsan prescribed, Taehyung was out the door, but not before getting a warning from Jimin and a hug because the smaller didn’t know if the other was going to make it home or not. It’s a terribly morbid way of thinking, but it was true. Walking side by side, Taehyung stole glances at the other every chance he got, taking in the breathtaking form that was Jeon Jungkook. All the while holding himself back from sprinting to the nearest bathroom and dry heaving until he coughed up a few daisy petals because even if the younger was nice enough to pick him up and walk him to class, his feelings never changed and neither did the older’s condition.

“You seem to be feeling better today if you were feeling up to go to classes,” Jungkook commented, making Taehyung smile.

“No I feel like a minivan ran me over a couple times only for me to stand up then get hit again,” the older said, the other boy’s head snapping into a look of worry, “Calm down it was a joke, of course I’m not feeling better but I figured if I’m still alive I still have to pass my classes.”

“Stop it”

The sudden serious tone coming from Jungkook made Taehyung stop in his tracks and turn to face him, the younger looking like he aged years beyond comprehension from the last him he’s seen him. His shoulders were a lot more broad and his back looked worn down with fatigue. But what really got the other boy was the emotion in the younger’s eyes. Expressions of sadness and fear swirled into the onyx irises that Taehyung used to love looking into, the same irises that, once upon a time, lit up when he laughed and glowed through the small slits of an eye smile.

“Jungko-”

“Stop saying that you’re dying and stop being okay with it. Because I’m not and neither is Jimin,” he demanded, taking the steps to close some of the distance between them.

“You’ve known me for four months-”

“But I feel like I’ve known you for years. Time doesn’t change the quality of a friendship and you know that so stop thinking that just because I’ve only known you for so long it doesn’t matter to me. Because it does,” and with that he walked on ahead, the dark cloud almost visible from a mile away but Taehyung couldn’t help but feel frustrated as well.

“Why didn’t you tell me you have a girlfriend?,” he couldn't hold it in anymore, making the younger stop in his tracks, his turn to face the other.

“Soomin? I didn’t think it was important. We haven’t been going for long, we only started dating a little before the skateboarding incident,” Jungkook said nonchalantly, shrugging like it was no big deal, but little did he know he could’ve stabbed Taehyung in the dick and it probably would’ve hurt less.

He could’ve met me first. It could’ve been me instead of her.

Thoughts like those haunted Taehyung as they walked the rest of the way to his class in silence, none of them taking the step to fix the ruined atmosphere. Walking straight into his lecture hall, Jungkook watched the older get further away, waiting until he disappeared out of sight before sighing and dragging his feet to his own class, letting his head fill with worry.

Sitting down in the seat that he always sat in, Taehyung was suddenly very much aware of all the people staring at him as if he grew a third head. It wasn’t a secret that the boy was coughing up flowers every five minutes, but he didn’t think it would reach this caliber. Unsettled to say the least, he tried to go about his business, bringing out his books and laptop to get ready for the lecture but the whispers and pointed looks never stopped. Just as Taehyung was about to stand up and address the class because they obviously had something to say to him, his professor walked through the door. Bracing himself for an obnoxious comment about how he had missed classes, all the boy was met with was an acknowledging nod and handouts that he missed.

“Professor-”

“See me after class Mr. Kim,” was all he said. Usually it was a snide remark on his sexuality or a joke that only the man found funny, but today, he didn’t seem to want to pick on Taehyung and although that may seem like the appropriate thing to do in his situation, the student would much rather prefer it the other way around. For everything to go back to normal.

Sitting through environmental sciences, Taehyung took a good look around him, seeing things that he never bothered to notice before. There were two clocks in the room, one for the students and one for his professor to see. The window closest to the front of the room was broken so it stayed open the whole time. There were so many students in this class that there were only four empty seats in the hall. Things like this were so mundane but they were things that Taehyung’s wouldn’t have even noticed. He would have gone his whole life not knowing so many things and even if people live their whole lives like that, he couldn't imagine living his like that anymore.

“Mr. Kim? You've been spacing out the whole lecture,” his professor commented as soon as the boy approached his desk, “Given your current situation I don't think you should be counting on sympathy to keep your grades up.”

“Of course not Sir. I was cleared as of yesterday to come back to class-”

“Good. There's an essay due next class on Pollution. I expect it in,” his Professor said and Taehyung would've started crying at the normalcy of this conversation if it it wasn't for the black spots fading in and out of his sight and the sudden lightheadedness he felt.

“Yes sir”

“Hey,” Jungkook greeted the girl who was already waiting for him outside of his lecture hall, “How long have you been waiting?”

“Not long,” the girl smiled at her boyfriend, going in for a hug that he joyfully returned, pulling her smaller figure into his chest.

Ever since Taehyung had fallen ill, he’s learned to appreciate the love he’s seem to have found in Choi Soomin. Or, at least, what he thought was love.

“How was class?,” Soomin asked, lacing her arm through Jungkook’s outstretched elbow, walking side by side in the science department’s hall.

“Horrible,” Jungkook said, “I’ve been worrying about a friend the whole time. He’s been sick lately.”

“Oh I’m sorry baby,” she said, pouting at the thought, “I hope they feel better. Are we still going to lunch?”

Stopping both of them in their tracks, Jungkook faced his girlfriend with an apologetic look in his eyes.

“I might have to pick him up from class and take him back to his dorm. His best friend sort of trusted me to look after him for today,” the boy said, rubbing the back of his neck in anxiousness as he waited for a reply. Because for the first time in his life, Jeon Jungkook told a lie. He didn't have to pick up Taehyung and he didn't have to bring him back to the dorms, but he felt it in his core. He needed to. Maybe for his personal benefit, maybe because he wanted to see the older, but if he were to asked, Jungkook would just simply say that Jimin told him to.

“That’s fine,” Soomin smiled, “We can pick him up on the way and drop him off. I’m sure the dorms aren’t too far.”

Slowly walking out of his lecture hall, Taehyung leaned against the wall of the concrete building, palms sweaty and head dizzy. It’s been two hours since he’s taken his last suppressant pill, the same pill he was warned that he could only take every eight hours. He knew he wasn’t supposed to be on his own, but Jimin was still in class and there was no way he was going to call Jeon Jungkook; the petals were too close to his esophagus for comfort. Feeling like he was going to throw up, Taehyung just swallowed whatever flower he was going to cough up this time and walked forward with shaky legs. Holding on to the wall, he tried again, half limping, half staggering to at least get to a bathroom, but his lower half collapsed against his body’s weak state

“Tae!,” he heard behind him and although relief spread through his body at the sound of someone familiar, the older automatically regretted it because this person was familiar.

Familiar hands wrapped around his arm, helping him onto his feet and to a nearby bench. He almost cried when he faced Jungkook and saw three of him, not even wanting to see one.

“What a-are you-”

“I was worried about you idiot. Jimin was right, you're not strong enough to go to classes yourself,” Jungkook clicked his tongue, wiping Taehyung’s sweaty fringe out of his drooping eyes, a side effect of the pills.

Taking the brave step to look at the younger’s face, Taehyung found Jungkook’s perfect lips pursed, his perfect eyebrows furrowed in a light frown, the little scar on his cheek visible in the mid morning light. Even if he was lightheaded, the older grimaced in place of a smile, catching the other’s wrist in his hand and softly pushing it down. He wasn't going to lie, Taehyung loved the attention a clingy Jeon Jungkook was giving him, but under the pretenses of his situation, it didn't feel right. He could pretend

“He looks like he has a fever,” a feminine voice sounded from somewhere near them, drawing Taehyung’s attention to a pretty girl, no taller than his shoulder with short, black hair. And she made him want to throw up. Because he knew who she was.

Noticing his stare, Jungkook glanced back at his girlfriend’s worried look and he inwardly smiled at himself. She's so cute when she's worried.

“Tae this is my girlfr-”

“I'm gonna head back to the dorm,” Taehyung said, standing up quickly so he didn't have to hear the words that would probably hurt more than the pounding in his head.

“Taehyung-”

Staggering away from the bench, Taehyung got exactly six feet away before collapsing on the ground in a violent cough. Holding his palm to the base of his neck, hot tears sprung up from the back of his eyes from the raw coughs that ripped through his lungs. The cement was harsh and bruising against his knees, but nothing that wasn't pain crossed his mind. Of course that was his girlfriend, of course she was pretty and perfect and female. The way Jungkook looked at her and smiled at her; it was completely different from the way he looked at the other, why wouldn't it be?

“Oh my god,” Jungkook gasped under his breath before running over to Taehyung’s painfully hunched figure.

“Tae,” he called, rubbing his hands on his trembling back, hoping from the bottom of his heart that it wasn’t as painful as the younger thought it was, pulling his shaking body into his chest, hoping that it’ll do something to calm him down.

Crying under all the push and pulls of his lungs, Taehyung couldn’t think properly, Jungkook’s girlfriend, all his assignments, Jimin’s ‘I told you so’ all left his mind. The only thing he could coherently understand was that fact that Jungkook was holding him. Jungkook was warm. Jungkook was comforting. But the only difference was Taehyung’s delusion of thinking that Jungkook was loving.

“Leave,” Taehyung choked out before the flowers choked him, hoping to die instead of cough up another damn plant because this hurt more than when Jimin broke his fingers in the fourth grade.

“I’m not leaving you. Not like this,” Jungkook whispered, no longer concerned about the look his girlfriend was giving him or the cramp that was starting to form on his hip because of the weird angle he was in.

Pushing the younger away from him with whatever strength he could gather between pained coughs and shaky wheezing, Jungkook wasn’t having any of that, catching the older’s defensive hands in his own, Taehyung’s hands feeling smaller than usual in the unmoving hold of the younger.

“Stop trying to push me away!,” Jungkook all but yelled, “Let me help you Kim Taehyung-”

“I don't need you to,” Taehyung didn't know why he was lashing out, he just was. Maybe it was because of the headache that was ripping his skull open, maybe he finally blew up at the fact that Jeon fucking Jungkook would not leave him alone.

“Too bad,” Jungkook whispered before three tulips escaped Taehyung's lips and the older passed out cold on the concrete in the middle of the science department.

“I told you. Did I not tell you? Yoongi didn't I tell him?,” Jimin cried once Taehyung opened his eyes

“Don't ask me I wasn't here yesterday,” Yoongi called from the small kitchen area their dorm had.

Taehyung, feeling the worst he's ever felt since the flowers started blooming in his chest, just groaned under the weight of his own body, feeling weaker than ever. Feeling like his chest was on fire, the boy had started to silently cry, hot tears falling from his eyes.

“Taehyung!,” Jimin yelled as soon as he saw the other, running over to the bed, “what's wrong? What hurts?”

“E-everything,” the sick boy managed to say through the numbness of his jaw and the dull ache pounding his head in. With a few more gut wrenching coughs, Taehyung fell limp again, his state of unconsciousness throwing Jimin into a panic.

“Hey,” Yoongi whispered, coming over to his boyfriend’s shaking side, wiping away the frustrated tears and getting the younger to stop yelling, “He’ll be okay. We’ll make sure he’s okay.”

Walking through the doors of the bustling hospital with nothing but his phone and a folder of documents, Jungkook set on his way to find answers. It’s been a week since Taehyung’s attack in the department hall, a week since he’s seen the older go to class. From what Jimin had been willing to tell him and the glimpses through the crack in the door between Jimin’s boyfriend and the frame before he was turned away at the dorm, the older had been asleep longer than he was awake, whole flowers being coughed up more often than petals. Seeing the life slowly slip away from Taehyung pushed the younger to the edge, more determined than ever to demand that doctors do something. Anything. He couldn’t just let the older die, Taehyung meant too much to Jungkook to let that happen.

“Where is the respiratory department?,” Jungkook asked the receptionist at the front, looking through the folder for the name of the Doctor that could potentially help him. “Doctor...Jung?”

“Third floor room 317,” she said simply, pointing the way to the elevators although he didn’t need it. Being a pre-med major, he’s spent too much time in this hospital than he was willing to admit.

As he crossed the threshold to the elevators, passing the emergency wing, Jungkook’s heart dropped into his stomach at the quick sight of unmistakable blond hair running next to a stretcher, catching a glimpse of what looked like a bloodied, unconscious Taehyung and if it wasn’t painfully clear before it was now: Kim Taehyung was dying.

a/n: so writers block hit me for a good month then exams hit me like a freight train so here it is LOL the next part is the last part and should be up soon

#yeah the last part is gonna be the most emotional part #bts #bangtan boys #bts scenarios #bts imagines #taekook #taekook scenario #taekook imagine #taehyung #taehyung scenarios #jungkook scenarios #jungkook imagines #jungkook #jeongguk scenarios #jeongguk imagine #jeongguk #bts angst #pjay writing

55 notes · View notes

luxvitae · 7 years

Text

Unsteady| Angst | Taekook

Word Count: 6.5k

Summary: What happens if someone you love doesn’t love you back?You throw up flowers. And then die. Kinda dramatic if you ask Taehyung.

I | II

Love was such a foreign concept to Kim Taehyung. It had to be, no one wanted to fall in love anymore for the dangers that it had unfolded upon poor souls who fell victim to an unrequited love. But to biology major Kim Taehyung, people were just overreacting. There was no way flowers could develop in the lungs of a human being due to unrequited love. It was unnecessary and immature, he thought, to see people actually believe that Hanahaki disease used to actually exist, but the world around him was convinced, leaving him in the dust with his opinions.

“You know it exists, why else would we have learned about it back in high school?,” Park Jimin, a human psychology major, argued one day, frustrated at his best friend for being an absolute hardass.

“Because people in the 1960’s made such a big deal about it, why else? It doesn’t make an logical sense Jimin, unless you want to explain to me how flowers, plants that depend on photosynthesis to grow, can just magically show up in your lungs one day,” Taehyung argued, rolling his eyes when his friend just decided to ignore him.

“Besides,” the younger of the two said, not even caring if Jimin wasn’t listening, “if it did exist, why don’t we heard about patients and victims of the disease now? Surely something of that caliber can’t just completely stop happening.”

“Tae,” Jimin chided, “You know why it stopped happening. I mean look around, falling in love is about as common as you being a top; it rarely ever happens-”

“Hey-”

“Either way,” the shorter said, turning around to face his friend before he headed into his classroom, “Hanahaki isn’t heard of anymore because people are a lot more careful with who they fall in love with. It’s dangerous.”

Taehyung just chuckled as his friend waved him goodbye as Jimin turned into the lecture hall next to his own.

“Then why are you dating Yoongi?,” he yelled in a playful tone at the smaller’s retreating figure.

“I got lucky”

Sitting in his biology and anatomy class, close to snoring his brains out, Taehyung forced his eyes open and his ears to listen to his professor drone on and on about body systems, but he could feel himself slipping into an unconscious state. Not getting enough sleep had become something that came with Taehyung, sort of like him and Jimin; a package deal.

There was no damage in just a little power nap and it wasn't like his professor would see him, he sat in the top corner for a reason. But Taehyung knew if he dozed off now, he'd be put behind almost weeks of information worth knowing in just five minutes, so no he really needed to keep his ass awake and attentive. But, this was Kim Taehyung we were talking about, so of course he tells himself that he's just going to close his eyes for a few minutes but he wouldn't fall asleep.

Ten minutes later, he's rudely awakened by the alarm of the person sitting next to him, and just as he's about to scold the person for having their phone on, he realizes that the lecture hall is half empty and he missed the last ten minutes which were the most crucial because their professor went so off topic that he squeezed the lesson in the few remaining minutes of the class.

“Shit,” he whispered to himself, rubbing his eyes tiredly to get rid of any sleep he had left in his system; he still needed to go to lab.

Looking around his area to gather his things, he noticed a fairly large post it note stuck to the closed lid of his laptop. Picking it up to examine it further because goddamnit Kim Taehyung you forgot your glasses again.

‘Hey I saw you fell asleep and guessed you wouldn't wanna play catch up for two weeks just for dozing off for five minutes so I took some notes for you

-The guy that sits next to you’

Under the chicken scratch that was this guy’s handwriting, Taehyung found a sprawl of notes taken from whatever their professor could manage to talk about before he needed to rush off to his next class. Feeling amazed that decent people still existed in the world, the boy left the hall smiling and no longer tired as he made his way to the lab. It was rare that someone would do something inconvenient for the benefit of someone else and Taehyung was just thankful that fate had brought along a good samaritan to sit next to his sleep deprived self.

Making his way to lab, Taehyung looked over the notes and tried to make sense of his guy’s god awful handwriting. After a while, he stopped looking at the yellow piece of paper that started to give him a headache, reasoning that he could just ask when the next class came around.

As he walked through the hallways, the 21 year old passed by couples, grimacing when they reminded him of the argument he had with Jimin just a few hours ago. Taehyung couldn’t help but think to himself, why even bother?, convinced that love was just a wasted human emotion that people had yet to contain just like anger. As he thought about love, his mind drifted back to the Hanahaki disease that Jimin was so adamant about proving it exists. Not that Taehyung thought that was stupid, but it was stupid.

Knowing the human body and knowing how it works, there was no logical explanation for the disease other than Hanahaki being a type of hypochondriasis; where one worries about being sick from a certain symptom that they often perceive themselves as sick without an actual medical condition. There was no explanation to why, or how, it existed and no explanation as to why it stopped being diagnosed. If Jimin was right, then the disease stopped because people became more conscientious of who they fell in love with, but to Taehyung, that was a load of hoopla. Just because the whole world stopped smoking and got rid of carcinogens doesn’t mean that lung cancer wouldn’t exist anymore. It was the same concept, yet the biology major couldn’t help but be frustrated.

“Hey watch out!,” Taehyung heard someone yell, causing him to look up just in time to see a boy about his age on a skateboard crash into another boy whose nose was buried in a book ahead of him.

Running over to help, Taehyung helped the book worm to his feet, making sure he was okay and telling him he has to make sure he knows what’s going on around him or else he’s really gonna get hurt. Once sending the boy on his way, he turned his head to the other only to be met with one of the cutest boys he’s ever seen in his life. And that’s coming from a guy that doesn’t think that very often.

“Are you okay?,” Taehyung asked, slowly looking over the boys body to scan for any injuries although the view was nice without him having to scan.

“I’m fine,” the boy smiled, kicking up his skateboard to carry it under his arm instead of riding it in a busy hallway full of science majors.

“Hey I know you,” the boy said thoughtfully, “You fell asleep in anatomy like an hour ago. I took notes for you, I hope you got them.”

Surprised that the boy, who looked at least a year younger than him, was in a senior class with him, Taehyung just nodded slowly.

“Yeah I got them. Can’t read it, but I got it,” the words slipping right out of his mouth, causing the older to internally die from the inside out from how ungrateful he sounded.

“Oh yeah sorry about that. My handwriting’s pretty shit,” and Taehyung had never felt so guilty in his life. Here was a kind, thoughtful, handsome boy so conveniently placed in front of him and the only thing Taehyung could think of commenting on was his lack of readable penmanship. Unbelievable.

“So I'm guessing you're on your way to lab,” the boy said, smiling when Taehyung just nodded. “Cool I'll walk with you.”

Suddenly hyper aware of how handsome this boy really was, Taehyung was flustered for the whole walk to the lab, trying to seem comfortable and indifferent, but really, he was ready to internally combust. It wasn't everyday that Biology senior Kim Taehyung caught the attention of someone that wasn't Jimin and his professor. This stra- stranger. He didn't even know the boy’s name.

“I'm Ki-”

“Kim Taehyung. I know,” the boy said cheekily, “I’ve sat next to you for the whole semester.”

Suddenly embarrassed, Taehyung felt his face heat up, turning his head so this guy wouldn’t have to see how he had transformed into a tomato. It hadn’t even occurred as a problem to him that he didn’t know anyone in any of his classes because of the sole fact that he knew he payed attention (well today was an exception). Now, this really, really good looking guy was offering an acquaintance, yet Taehyung didn’t even know his name but he knew Taehyung’s. What a wonderful start.

“I’m Jeon Jungkook. Nice to formally meet you Kim Taehyung,” Jungkook said, holding out his hand in a casual handshake which the older gratefully took.

“You too,” Taehyung said, smiling at the slightly taller boy.

“You know it's not everyday that you meet practically a genius,” Jungkook said, making the older blush from what he thought was a compliment.

“Thank you”

“Oh no I was talking about me”

Maybe it was fate or maybe it was a coincidence that although Taehyung loved to work alone, he found himself not minding the company of a certain 20 year old “genius”.

Jungkook was a lot more charming than he let on, cracking stupid biology jokes and managing to show off his intelligence through each one. Then again, to Taehyung, he was the most irritatingly charming 20 year old biology major he's ever met. Jungkook saw right through him, even seeing past the pointed glares and huffed responses that the older directed toward him. It was like in the short 2 hour span of meeting him, Jungkook had wormed his way into the ‘best friend’ category in Taehyung’s heart that the older only reserved for people who weren’t Jeon Jungkook. And that made Taehyung uncomfortable.

And irritated.

Because here was Jeon Jungkook, a very handsome specimen, with a smart mouth, fast brain, horrible jokes that he probably ripped off from online, and he was two years younger than Taehyung. Two whole years. And they ended up in the same year of college which, to the older’s demise, was absolutely unfair.

“Just let me help you!,” Jungkook whined, spinning mindlessly on the lab chairs near Taehyung’s space.

“I don’t need help,” the older said, not even bothering to look back at the younger. Even with just the two of them in the lab, it hadn’t been awkward or stale; it was almost as if the two of them had known each other for much longer than two hours.

“Come on Tae,” Jungkook groaned, hopping off his stool, “You’ve been staring at the same sample for the past seventeen minutes, erasing then rewriting the same exact things.”

Freezing where he was, Taehyung realized that 1) that asshole just gave him a nickname and 2) damn this kid is observant. Choosing to ignore the younger, Taehyung kept working on his thesis, switching the samples under the microscope out just to make it seem that he wasn’t stuck.

“You’re looking at a sample of feces from bos taurus”

Closing his eyes in pure embarrassment, Taehyung calmly took the sample of literal bullshit out from under the scope and put back the sample of organ tissue from a Hanahaki victim, a sample that no one was supposed to know he took from the research lab’s archives.

“Just let me help-”

Pushing the sample out and traveling to the other side of the lab table, Jungkook just sighed at the stubborn nature of the older. Even if Taehyung surprisingly trusted the younger, he couldn’t risk anyone else knowing he had a sample of something that was supposed to be locked up and preserved.

“Aren’t you tired of staring at a tiny hole?,” Jungkook asked, resting his head on his palm, his dark hair casting an attractive shadow over his attractive fact that made Taehyung take a little longer in processing the question that was asked, catching himself staring a little too long.

“Aren't you tired of staring at me?,” the older retorted, not realizing what he said until it slipped out of his mouth.

With his cheeks turning red from his bold statement, the younger just chuckled at him, thinking it was cute. And true. Because in all his months of sharing a class with him, Jeon Jungkook is starting to regret not getting to know Kim Taehyung earlier.

“Fine. I won’t touch any research. I’ll just, I don’t know, find grammar mistakes in your draft or something,” the younger huffed, grabbing the thick stack of papers off the lab table and sitting back down.

“You’re doing your thesis about love?”

Giving the younger a nod, Jungkook went back to the report, skimming through the pages and pages of research and analysis, impressed by the sheer effort that was shown.

“More specifically,” Taehyung said, straightening out his back, “how the human heart responds to love; emotions. Things that aren’t scientifically proven but can be logically explained.”

“Hmm,” Jungkook hummed in approval, slamming down the papers after another thirty seconds, “Okay I can’t stand this anymore, let’s go.”

The older let himself get dragged out of the empty lab because 1) there was no way Taehyung could ever challenge the strength that was Jeon Jungkook and 2) there’s a slight possibility of the older having a manhandling kink and if that meant someone younger than him, albeit stronger, push him around then he is all for it.

“W-where are we-”

“Coffee shop!”

“Iced stirred caramel macchiato with soy please”

“Ugh. Soy,” Jungkook said with such distaste from behind, “Lame.”

“I’m lactose intolerant you ass,” Taehyung retorted, turning around to pay for his drink before Jungkook pushed him out of the way, and damn did he go flying.

“And I’ll get a iced black coffee,” Jungkook ordered, handing over his card before Taehyung could even think to protest.

Making a retching noise in the back of his throat, the younger plastered a fake smile on his face as the cashier finished the transaction, trying not to pay attention to the boy making a scene in the middle of a highly used Starbucks.

“What is wrong with you?,” Jungkook whispered, pulling the older to wait by the hand-off area.

“What’s wrong with me? Nothing. I don’t like drinking dirt but apparently you do,” Taehyung hummed, grabbing his drink from the barista and skipping out the door before the younger could even think of a reply.

“Black coffee isn't even that bad, it's just strong,” Jungkook defended his, what Taehyung calls, poor choice of a caffeinated beverage.

“It tastes like it was ground from cocoa beans that Satan planted,” Taehyung said in distaste, throwing glares to the cup in Jungkook’s hand.

“Well it keeps me awake and diabetes free. At least I don't drink soy,” the younger said, throwing an equal offended glare to Taehyung’s cup.

“Excuse me,” the older said causing Jungkook to laugh, knowing their banter was all in good fun, “it's not my problem that cow milk gives me diarrhea.”

Hearing his alarm go off for work, Taehyung looked down to see that he spent almost four hours talking to the younger. He was surprised that he didn't get bored like he usually does with other people. Because of that, he felt just a little sad about having to leave. Just a little.

“Oh I-”

“Gotta blast?,” Jungkook asked, glancing down at the flashing phone screen.

“Yeah,” Taehyung said apologetically, “sorry I have work.”

“It's fine I pulled you away from your lab in the first place,” Jungkook chuckled, “Where do you work?”

“I'm a teacher's aid for the first years in organic chemistry,” the older said, the other boy’s face lighting up in interest.

“Wow”, he whistled, “that's impressive.”

“Yeah”, Taehyung said sheepishly, “were going to have to continue this argument the next time we have class I guess.”

“Or”, Jungkook elongated, “you can give me your phone number and you can yell at me all you want about my ‘satanic drink.’”

Giving a face, Taehyung just started walking away before turning around a good distance from the younger.

“387-6704,” he yelled before turning back around and walking away completely, leaving Jungkook behind with a smile and a slight shake of his head.

Come get lunch w me

-JK

-TH

Yes

-JK

Tae?

-JK

Stopping in front of Jungkook’s 10:45 class, Taehyung waited for the session to finish. It's been about two weeks since the two have met and a steady friendship had been established. Well, more of a steady acquaintance; Taehyung didn't want to call it friendship just yet.

Jungkook was super nice, too nice, and that left something unsettled in Taehyung. Call it men intuition, but he had a feeling the younger boy was going to become someone important to him and Taehyung wasn't sure if he was ready for someone of Jungkook’s caliber to be constantly around him. Heck, he couldn't even get used to the younger calling him ‘Tae’, a nickname that only people like Jimin used. For the past two weeks, Jungkook would accompany Taehyung during his late night lab sessions and vice versa, liking the company even if they worked better when they were alone.

Taeeeeeee

-JK

Rolling his eyes, Taehyung could imagine the younger whining, an image that was extremely vivid for only seeing Jungkook a handful of times.

Deciding not to answer, Taehyung just waited outside, looking at the landscapes of the courtyard that he's never really taken the time to see. Fascinated with the flowers and the formation of the different systems, he didn't even notice Jungkook exiting the lecture rooms and sneaking up behind Taehyung.

“They're pretty right?,” his deep voice resonated, scaring the living crap out of the older.

“Damn warn a guy next time,” Taehyung whined, putting a palm over his heart to calm it down.

Ignoring the drama queen that Kim Taehyung was, the younger just continued talking, “My group and I arranged the flowers according to sunlight to water ratios for last year's final project.”

“So,” the younger said after another moment of reminiscence, “lunch?”

“Don’t you have friends?,” Taehyung asked lightly, standing up to dust himself off. Jungkook stood up along with him, a bright, childish smile on his face that made the older just wanna punch him.

“Of course I do! But they’re all too far away and I don’t like eating by myself,” he said, long legs starting to move away from the benches and toward the courtyard where food trucks had gathered during the day for students on the west wing to enjoy.

“What are you, twelve?,” the older grumbled, trailing after him only to be pulled into a friendly yet tight half embrace, the younger’s stronger arm slung casually around Taehyung’s neck.

“Oh lighten up you hardass,” Jungkook chided, “How was Environmental Sciences? Still bad?”

“The absolute worst, I cannot believe you passed that course with full marks,” Taehyung cried, “it’s been almost a semester and I still haven’t learned anything that I didn’t already learn in o-chem last semester.”

“How’s the teache-”

“Don’t even start,” Taehyung warned darkly, hating even the thought of his grumpy, defensive, discriminative professor for environmental sciences. “How’d you even get on his good side? I could just be sitting there, minding my own business and he’d tell me to shut up and suck a dick!”

Throwing his head back in laughter, Jungkook shook his head. “He’s really the worst professor in the world 11/10 would not recommend. Why didn’t you just switch out like you said you would?”

Shrugging his shoulders, Taehyung’s heart dropped a little when the younger’s arm fell from where it rested against his neck.

“Thought I could wait it out just to see how the course would develop. I'm still waiting”, Taehyung grumbled, following Jungkook to whatever truck he was getting food from.

The younger just hummed, stopping in front of a Thai food truck, scanning a menu that he's seen a hundred times. Turning to the other boy, Jungkook asked, “Is spicy food okay?”

“We don’t have to get food from the same place,” Taehyung said nonchalantly, shrugging his shoulders, looking around to the other groups of students that were looking at the two of them weird.

“Okay we kinda do because I’m paying and stop looking, let them stare all they want,” Jungkook said, going over to the window of the truck to order.

Feeling his face get hot, Taehyung followed after the younger, hiding behind him as he ordered for the both of them. Of course people were going to talk, why hadn't Taehyung thought of that earlier? He was the poster child for introverts, no one really knew him except for Jimin and the friends he’s made through knowing Yoongi. Jeon Jungkook, on the other hand, from what the older could gather, was the epitome of perfect. Everyone liked him, he was the smartest student in the biology department, he knew how to dance, he did sports, he was nice. People like him and people like Taehyung didn't mix and if he didn't feel it when they first met, he was definitely feeling it now from all the stares and hushed whispers behind his back.

“Kim Taehyung,” Jungkook harshly whispered, successfully pulling the older out of his thoughts, “Stop thinking so loud I can hear you from here.”

“Sorry,” he said, pushing his head down so he couldn't see the younger.

Clicking his tongue, Jungkook sent a playful glare to the older’s caved in body before poking his head upwards so he could face him. Met with cute wide eyes, the younger gave Taehyung a big smile before putting his arm back around the older’s shoulders. With the familiar, comforting weight back around his neck, Taehyung felt himself loosen up a little, feeling a little safer from the judgemental looks of the other students surrounding them.

“Why don’t you go pick a seat while I wait for the food,” Jungkook suggested and Taehyung nodded, pulling away from the younger to sit down on a table in the far corner where the two of them could eat in peace and in shade because if Jungkook was going to keep doing that arm thing, it’s going to get extremely hot.

Once the younger came over carrying a tray of various take-out boxes, the two of them started eating. It was nice; just eating lunch together and shit talking their professors because none of them knew how to properly teach. And it was going great. Until the spiciness of the food had settled in Taehyung’s mouth.

“Oh you’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” he groaned, throwing his head back to gulp down as much water as he could.

“What?,” Jungkook asked concerned, looking over the older worriedly.

“First you drink dirt then you eat hell’s food?,” Taehyung complained, shoveling spoonfuls of rice in his mouth to try and stop the internal heat from spreading.

“Oh so you can’t handle spicy food,” Jungkook said, clearly amused by the older having a mental breakdown over some spicy curry.

“Do you want me to go get something else for you?,” the younger said after realizing that Taehyung wasn’t joking and he really couldn’t handle spicy foods like he could.

Shaking his head, Taehyung just put on a brave face. Jungkook asked him to lunch and paid for the food, it was only polite for Taehyung not to complain and just eat up. Plus, the pain was temporary. Sure, maybe his bladder and asshole would never forgive him after this meal, but that was less important compared to not seeming like a weakling in Jungkook’s eyes.

“Seriously,” Jungkook tsked, grabbing the older’s hand that was holding his spoon and guiding it toward his own mouth, “don't eat it if you can't enjoy it. I'll get you something else.”

Getting up, Taehyung kicked the younger’s shin to get him to sit back down.

“Ow! What?!”

“Stop it!”

“Stop what?!”

“Being nice to me!”

Rolling his eyes, Jungkook just got back up, dodging the older’s powerful kick, and ran to the Italian food truck. Watching the younger stand in line, Taehyung had half a mind to drag him back to their table so he wouldn't feel like a burden, but while he was deciding how to potentially muster enough strength to actually pull the younger back to the table, Jungkook appeared before him again with another take out box.

“Don't open it yet,” he said, tying up the package and pushing it toward Taehyung who was shooting him confused looks.

“Your alarm for work is gonna ring in about three minutes, then you're gonna freak out that you forgot again. Eat when you get to the class,” Jungkook said thoughtfully making Taehyung’s face heat up.

“You're too good to me Jeon Jungkook,” the older said.

“I have to be. You're my friend aren't you?”

Get your lazy ass up Kim Taehyung we’re gonna be late

-JK

Springing up in his bed from the text that was sent almost half an hour ago, Taehyung rushed to the bathroom to finally start getting ready for the presentation that he was definitely going to be late for at this point.

“Jimin! Why didn’t you wake me up?!,” he yelled through the foam of his toothpaste at his roommate was just casually lounging in front of the TV.

“I thought you were up!,” Jimin said defensively, “Your alarm was going off for a while so I just assumed that you were letting it wake you up.”

“I didn’t set an alarm!”

“Well someone’s been calling you for the past 30 minutes!”

Dashing toward his phone that was still on the bed with half of his face caked in facewash, Taehyung opened his call log to find over 20 missed calls from none other than Jeon Jungkook himself. With another ding, his phone lit up to notify him of another text.

Srsly KTH ur gonna be the death of me

-JK

I stalled for a couple minutes so you have time to get here

-JK

So get here

-JK

Thanking whoever decided befriending Jungkook was a good idea for Taehyung, the older ran back into the bathroom to wash off whatever residue was left and threw open his dresser. Knowing that he was going to be running late even if he woke up on time, a much more responsible Kim Taehyung planned what he was going to wear for presentation in advance. The only thing he needed to do now was to actually get himself into the clothes.

This is all ur fault

-TH

How is this my fault?! U slept thru all my calls!!!!

-JK

If u didnt keep me up all night while you rambled about ur stupid pet hamster then maybe i woulve went to sleep earlier

-TH

Max doesn’t appreciate u calling him stupid nor the fact that u completely stopped using apostrophes

-JK

Max can suck my ass

-TH

He doesn't appreciate you assuming his sexuality either

-JK

BIIIIIIIIIII

-TH

Two minutes!1!!1!!!1!!

-JK

Buttoning the final button on his shirt, Taehyung quickly took a glance in the mirror, deemed himself presentable, and ran out the door, telling a goodbye to Jimin.

In all his years of being at the university, Taehyung has never done more than walk to a class much less run. Breaking a sweat as he weaved his way through the morning students, he realized two things. He's completely out of shape and he's running to a class that he doesn't particularly care about but Jungkook does so he does too.

And although that's unsettling seeing how almost every night since the day they've met he's been getting less and less sleep than he was already being deprived from, Taehyung had thrown all his thoughts to the wind. Jeon Jungkook had proven himself to be a useful friend, in certain situations, and the older was happy to keep him around. Maybe it was because of the dark eyes, or the tight pants that hugged his waist so well, or the fact that Jungkook has the sexiest fingers- no. It was because he was a person that Taehyung could see himself hanging out with, probably yelling at, ten, fifteen years in the future.

And in the future, when Jungkook is a doctor and the older is a professor himself, Taehyung could see the scene where he comes home from a long day at the school, with tons and tons of papers to grade while Jungkook peeks out from the kitchen and gives him the warmest, loving smile and-

What the shit, Kim Taehyung?

Spending the last thirty seconds of running through the corridor to reason with himself that his subconscious did not just dream up a domestic future between him and his newfound friend, Taehyung entered the lecture hall and tiptoed through the seats before finding Jungkook and sliding into the chair the younger saved just for him.

“You’re late asshole,” the younger said through gritted teeth, “We’re next.”

More concerned about the raging dilemma going on in his head, Taehyung just nodded and stared ahead, trying to practice his part of the presentation in his head but failing miserably.

Noticing the older’s frown and grunts of frustration, Jungkook just lightly smiled and reached into his bag under his chair, pulling out a small stack of index cards and grabbing the boy’s hand next to him only to drop the index cards into his grasp.

“Prepared them just in case,” the younger smiled, making Taehyung’s heart do mysterious things in his chest.

“So….lab?,” the younger asked, falling into step with the other boy who pretty much bolted out of class as soon as they were dismissed.

“I- I might skip today. I’m feeling a little lightheaded,” Taehyung said, already feeling bad for lying to the other to blatantly, but it wasn’t like he could tell him the truth.

Jungkook’s lips turned into a frown; a small pout that made the older just want to kiss him. Bringing his hand rest on Taehyung’s forehead, the other boy just watched in amazement as Jungkook focused on feeling the older’s temperature.

“Hmm. You do feel a little warm,” the younger said thoughtfully, moving his rest on Taehyung’s neck, causing the older’s breath to catch in his throat.

Staring at Jungkook, Taehyung noticed the little things that he never really saw before. Like the mole right under his lips or how the big the scar on his cheek really was. He saw the concern written all over his face and his pout get deeper when he put his other hand to his own neck for comparison.

“Well, you don’t have a fever,” Jungkook said, removing his hands from the older.

Breaking out of his trace, Taehyung stepped away from the younger and cast his eyes down, too confused and uncertain to really face him.

“But if you’re feeling lightheaded then you should drink a shitton of water and get some rest. I’ll cover you for lab today,” Jungkook said, giving the older a small but breathtaking smile.

“You got it Doctor Jeon”

Taehyung wasn’t lightheaded, a kindergartener could tell that much. Jungkook, being the good friend that he was, decided not to pry, but when the older wouldn't answer any of his text messages, he knew exactly where he was. And it wasn't in his dorm sleeping.

“You know, you should really follow doctor’s orders Professor Kim,” he said, startling the older whose back was to him, crouched over a beaker in the lab.

“H-how did you-”

“I know you Taehyung. You weren't lightheaded today after class and if it was something I did then I'm sorry-”

Taehyung’s face contorted in horror when he heard the younger blaming himself. It was his own fault, not Jungkook’s. Never in a million years.

“It's not your fault-”

“Then why'd you lie to me?”

The silence between the two boys grew louder and louder as Taehyung asked himself the same question. Why did he lie to Jungkook? Was it because his feelings? Was it because he suddenly became very much aware of how close he was getting to this kid that he's known for about four months? Why’d he lie?

“I don’t- I don't know,” the older said truthfully, looking down to avoid eye contact.

Taehyung didn't know what to expect. Maybe a ‘tell me next time’ or a shrug of the shoulders because that was Jungkook. He was calm and collective and nonchalant and understanding. Because he was Jungkook. What Taehyung wasn't expecting was to be enveloped in a warm embrace, squished between the lab table and the younger's solid chest.

“J-Jung-”

“Just tell me if something is going on don't lie to me about it,” he said softly, making Taehyung want to melt from how good the vibrations of his voice in his chest felt.

Knowing he shouldn't have, Taehyung just buried himself further into the younger’s embrace, wanting to hold on just a little more. And maybe that's when he felt it. His change in heart and attitude. He no longer wanted to lurk in the shadows of the friend zone, too scared to cross the line in fear of rejection.

And Taehyung was confident Jungkook felt the same.

There was no way the younger would constantly text him, keeping the both of them up until the ass crack of dawn just because he had made a new friend. It didn't make sense that even if the older never mentioned it, Jungkook had remembered that Taehyung was lactose intolerant from the first time they stepped into that coffee shop. Or the fact that even when he knew he worked better alone, he would always call Taehyung over to the lab where they would spend hours on end just in each other’s company. Or even the fact that every night and every morning, without fail, he would send a ‘goodnight’ and ‘good morning’ text just to make sure that Taehyung was sleeping and waking up on time.

And even if the younger couldn't reciprocate his feelings, Taehyung wouldn't stop. Because to him, Jungkook was worth it.

“Well I haven't seen your crazy ass all week. You're still alive I see,” Jimin said grumpily, sliding into the bar seat next to his best friend, his steaming white mocha on the counter waiting for him.

Taehyung just smiled, reading through some old text messages between him and Jungkook that morning. After this small coffee date with Jimin, he was meeting the younger for lunch, a ritual that they kept along with meeting in the lab every night.

Noticing his best friend’s giggly state, Jimin just rolled his eyes before realizing that holy shit Kim Taehyung actually has a giggly state.

“Who is it?!,” Jimin all but yells, smacking his best friend on the arm multiple times to get his attention.

To Taehyung it didn't hurt, it just added to his excitement of finally telling someone that he did it. After twenty two years of being cold and unresponsive, Kim Taehyung had finally found someone that he could wholeheartedly say he genuinely liked. And to him, this was groundbreaking. Because after all those years of thinking that love was dead and that science was all he needed, he was finally proven wrong. That science wasn't what he needed, it was the smart mouthed, sweet, irritatingly charming Jeon Jungkook.

“I swear to god Kim Taehyung-”

“It's Jeon Jungkook, a pre-med major in my bio class and lab,” Taehyung said all giddy, missing the look of horror on Jimin’s face.

“No. Taehyung you can't like him,” Jimin said, panic written all over his face, but head-over-heels Kim Taehyung doesn't notice.

“You're right,” he said, looking down with a shy smile on his face, “I think I love him.”

Jimin was absolutely done. There was no saying as to what would happen now, but one thing’s for certain. Between Jeon Jungkook and Kim Taehyung, there would be a broken heart and Park Jimin knew exactly whose heart it would be.

“No Tae, listen to me. You can't like, let alone love, Jeon Jungkook. You can't. I won't allow you to,” the shorter said, freaking out in the middle of the cafe.

With a confused face, Taehyung was about to ask his best friend why he was so against the idea until he felt a cough rising up. But it wasn't like any other dry cough that he's felt before. The coughs just kept coming, becoming more and more painful; more and more unbearable. To Taehyung is was nothing more than a dry cough that wouldn't go away, but Jimin knew better. With the coughs violently ripping through his lungs, Taehyung started to tear up around the edges of his eyes, trying to drink something but only making it worse. It felt like hell; like someone was twisting his lungs into uncomfortable positions then tearing it from the inside out. When it didn't calm down, Taehyung was pretty sure he was going to die coughing, and he wasn't wrong, but just when he thought it couldn't get any worse, it did. His gag reflex had initiated, causing his hands to go flying to his mouth just in case he couldn't make it to a bathroom in time.

“Tae-” Jimin started, hand coming up to pat the other’s back.

But just when he thought he had finally vomited and the feeling passed, dread filled the younger’s body as he didn’t feel the disgusting, sticky liquid that would usually come out. With an unstable breath and wide eyes, Taehyung unclenched his shaky hands with fear, because really this cannot be happening, to reveal the four baby pink petals in his hand. Dropping them on the table, he ignored the pointed looks and the sympathetic whispers around him, the only thing he was focusing on was getting out of there.

“No- Taehyung!,” Jimin called, running after his best friend, knowing he wasn’t in any condition to be moving much less running.

Just as he reached the hallway leading back to the university, Taehyung dropped to his knees, another gut wrenching cough making its way up his throat. The same feeling of pain and hysteria clouded his mind as he faintly heard Jimin called for him in the distance, coughing up more pink petals and spitting them on the ground before passing out on the stone cold cement.

a/n: Sooooo i was supposed to publish this like a month ago??

-M♡♡

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