#poemsbylaurin

[laurinnnn]

4/11/23

When I step outside at night

for a smoke and some memories,

I feel sorry for myself once in a while

coughing up some grey stuff

biting my nails

and waiting for the blood to dry

Seven minutes left.

I should check on the pizza

Five minutes left.

I wait for you to text back.

You never do.

I know that

but a little hope can’t hurt.

A couple walks by.

Giggling.

Good for them.

The cigarette burns my lips.

Time to get back inside.

I should get to sleep

Damn it my pizza.

Burned.

Maybe I’ll order out again

#poemsbylaurin #poetry #beginner poetry #art #pathetic poet #original poem #poem #poets on tumblr #writing #beginner writer #creative writing #amatuer poet #poets #poetsandwriters #poetic #poets corner

[laurinnnn]

26/1/24

I am loosing my light

I am loosing my mind

See what i am

I am barely alive

No longer breathing

I am barely alive

I am loosing my art

I am loosing my time

Can you see me down here?

I am barely alive

God I need to be seen

I am barely alive

I am loosing my self

I am loosing my soul

What have I become

I am barely alive

When will this be done

I am barely alive

My light it is lost

inside of my mind

I am barely alive

I am barely alive

.

.

.

sorry this might be a little depressing 🙏🏻

#poemsbylaurin #poetry #beginner poetry #artists on tumblr #art #beginner writer #poets on tumblr #poem #poems #writing

[laurinnnn]

Guilty of hurting

I often feel ashamed of my love

and the pain that comes with it

The vulnerability of opening up to someone and knowing

knowing

that they could turn it against you

at any given time

You give a part of you away

that can never be returned

It leaves an emptiness

Which burns when not replaced

But the burning hurts less

than keeping the part of you

that begs to be theirs

Why are those considered weak who feel?

How does that make sense?

Am I weak for giving

when I could risk loosing all?

Or does it just make me stupid?

Id rather be stupid than weak.

Thanks to you society I guess

Another one of your great rules.

Funny how something that dissolves every inch of your body and tears you apart

Is the thing that keeps you together

I would keep holding onto it a live time

Always in the back of my pocket

Like a little bird as my companion

So I’d never be fully alone

For the one I would die.

For him I would live.

.

.

.

.

Impulsive love poem I wrote out of feelings I suppressed for too long.

#poemsbylaurin #art #poetry #beginner poetry #beginnerpoet #trans artist #artists on tumblr #poems #poets on tumblr #love #love poetry #love poem #fuck love #cringeposting #thoughts #young poets #beginner writer #writing

[laurinnnn]

14/2/24

I saw my father smile today

A naive smile, tainted by love

the lack of knowledge of what would come

a life of storms ahead

I miss that man

so full of love he could be

life had not yet broken him

had broken us

I miss that man so much

I saw my father smile today

smile at me,

with pride and without judgement

but to wish for it to happen now would be foolish

Old pictures are nothing but old memories

Now they are forgotten

When all love is rotten

All pride is dust

.

.

.

draft i finished today

#poetry #poemsbylaurin #poetsandwriters #beginner poetry #beginner writer #poets on tumblr #writing #poem #poems #young poets #artists on tumblr #art

[laurinnnn]

You, you look in the mirror

you’re desperate to see who you are

With no consistency

only the raw image

of the thing they call your body

you blindly stumble

through the lost stories in your mind

looking for the last few bits of identity

inside this desert of heart

Tearless rivers of agony and faith

grabbing each and every

glorious moment of thriving out

of the spiteful fraud

you call your self self self

turns you into

nothing.

#poemsbylaurin #poems #poem #poetry #creative writing #author #beginner poetry #Art #small artist

[laurinnnn]

Forget me

Sometimes I hurt too much.

So much that I wish

all would forget who I was.

The loved ones

I got to meet along the way

and the ones I grew up with.

Some would leave, some would stay.

I would beg to the gods,

to the devils and demons

and all the other mystical beings.

Let them all forget so the pain of my loss would not be.

And I could forever be me and be free.

#poemsbylaurin #poetry #poets #poets on tumblr #amatuer poet #beginner poetry #depressingasspoems #pathetic little guy #pathetic poet

[laurinnnn]

I remember harmony

Being tiny, protected by elderly

Fed until full

Being exited for dessert

And scolded for eating dirt

I remember skittishness

The others not yet tenderless

Talking too loud

Despite effort not yet noticed

Put on the nutcase list

I remember malaise

Her numbness fills our place

Blood in the sink

Weeping for the yelling to end

Facing their unloving hand

I remember silence

It shall protect amongst all guidance 

You bathe in it

It shall be your companion for eternity

Unbearably lonely yet no fallony

I remember nothing now

Memories tainted in a foggy foe

Its better now

I might as well drown my sorrows right along the flow

Inside it might never let me go

#poetry #art #poem #writing #beginner writer #original poem #poemsbylaurin