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united-under-skyfall · 11 months

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leverage is so fucking funny. man manages to find the most mentally ill and neurodivergent group of thieves on the market + an even more mentally ill guy whose literal job description was trying to chase all of them, and forces them into a found family speed-run by trying to blow them all up. they lowkey stage a full fucking country wide coup and are like eh 🤷 just another wednesday. this might be a fun place to vacation tho i guess. sophie shows up to her own funeral twice. they're so good at convincing people of their shit that they make a guy's body start reacting to an illness he doesn't have because it isn't real. go completely out on a limb and basically hand this one guy a new password for his computer so they can get into it and he goes with it. parker and hardison have straight up just "fake it 'till you make it"d into the fbi without even attempting to cover their tracks beyond just These Two Guys. half their clients never asked to be their clients and don't know they're their clients, and the other half are random people who find them who fuckin knows how, meanwhile no government agency can track them down without selling their soul to sterling. they make a point to have a dramatic scene w a Big Bad Shadowy Government Guy who doesn't actually get caught or brought to justice or anything telling them he's going to hunt them all down, and in any other show this would probably earn at least a minor arc later on but he literally never shows up again. an entire season finale hinged on a cake and a bunch of clams. they accidentally made eliot a celebrity not once, not twice, but three times. parker blew up her foster parents' house when she was like. nine. and it's hardly a footnote. hardison is just casually an artistic prodigy but it's only ever brought up for the most background of background gags. eliot's biggest beef with parker and hardison for like two and a half seasons is that they won't stop making weird food with lasers and refuse to realize they can't make a decent beer to save their lives. sophie's immediate response to being shot is to call her shooter a wanker. there's a character who has literally killed a man with a mop and they had the audacity to only put her in one episode.

#leverage my beloved <3 #ramble #leverage #i also feel the need to point out that. while yes sophie did show up to her own funeral twice. she also technically was the driver to bring #her own ''corpse'' to wherever interpol was sending it lmfao #re: eliot being made a celeb 3 times bc some people are confused—country singer; baseball player; hockey player #didnt count the knockout job bc i think that was p local focused? could be wrong #re: character who killed a man w a mop = mikel dayan (hitter from the two live crew job)#this post is getting people interested in leverage lets goooooooo #this post has also officially surpassed the number of people i expected to ever know or care about leverage by several thousands #bc even though logically i know it aired as an actual tv show over several years and a lot of people probably saw it #that does not compute in my head #leverage spoilers

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egophiliac · 8 months

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another one that I'm not super happy with, but continuing to mess with it isn't going to help! so here he is! 🦇 there was a lot I was trying to get across in this one, so uhhhhh hopefully it reads.

we're almost out of unique magics now...just Ace (and maybe Grim?) left!

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #unique magic posters #drawing lilia slightly more on-model than i usually do feels so wrong #i just want to draw the tallest spikes #lilia: (writing down his height) 5'6“...5'2” in a hat #(actually i'm pretty sure he would just write 'fun-size' but i digress)#anyway lilia. hey lilia. your magic is not cradle-specific so WHY is it called that #did it come in like 'so in like 500-ish years we're going to have a significant moment with a cradle. just trust me bro.'#'in the meantime enjoy having the weirdest magic name ever'#probably came in useful for raising kids though #don't put that in your mouth don't you know where it's BEEN #because i do #(long stare off into middle distance) i know where it's been

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mossycobblestonewrites · 12 days

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DC X DP PROMPT #18

Danny sometimes forgets that it isn't normal to let the ghosts of your dead best friends speak vicariously through you - especially as a totally normal human boy.

Danny is only confronted with this fact at the face of a very concerned hero. (You pick, just anywhere that's not Gotham because it is much funnier. I personally lean towards one of the flashes)

#dc x dp #dpxdc #he lets his dead friends possess him and cohabitate #for funsies #not ghost king danny #just doesnt jive with it #hes just sad #idk how sam and tucker died #probably a reveal gone wrong #jazz is still alive though is low contact for protection reasons #hero that stopped danny: who let the freaks out or gotham

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spilledsinnamontea · 11 months

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⚠️ ACROSS THE SPIDER VERSE SPOILER ⚠️

I just realised that in the first movie, the spider that bit Miles WAS GLITCHING!!! Hinting that yes, it’s a spider from another dimension

#atsv spoilers #across the spider verse spoilers #flashing lights #I thought it was just an artistic choice back then to make the spider glitch 😭#update: I went to watch atsv for the second time #during the spot explanation about how he got the 42 spider #there was a split second of 42 miles appearance 😳 it was from behind and he was in the middle of clas #it seems that the 42 spider was in 42 miles’ class (probably about to bite him) when he was suddenly taken to our miles’ dimension #I MIGHT BE WRONG THOUGH since the spot’s flashback is in black and white (I suspect it was 42 miles bcs of the hair silhouette)#across the spiderverse #spiderverse

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 3 months

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The girls are plottinggggg

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wen chao #wang lingjiao #Realizing she was supposed to have an upper lip mole was a cold slap in the face. So sorry ma'am. I won't forget again.#They are evil dumbass 4 evil dumbass and I think we are all missing out on the sheer potential of the comedy between these two.#They have way too much power and are using it for the wrong reasons - which makes them truly great villains.#And when things don't go their way they become piles of whining sludge.#Wang Lingjiao is forever fascinating to me even though we only get crumbs about her.#She's a servant girl who's greatest asset is her beauty and her attractiveness.#Meaning she's had a life being in the gaze of people with significant positions of power over her.#I can't help but read her childishness and petty tantrums as someone who has finally been given the chance to not feel powerless.#If she was a more virtuous type we might 'like' her more but honestly...I don't think she would have survived to this point.#WLJ has only known power hierarchies her whole life. Probably accused of seduction before she even understood what that meant.#I love contrasting her with mianmian because they have similar(ish) backgrounds but different approaches to moving forwards #But WLJ's story is about flying too close to the sun and mianmian's is about going too close to the water.#Like the sea mist dragging her down into complacency - all the sect powerplays are mandatory to 'go along with' if she wants to climb-#-the social ladder. Yet she is the cautionary tale (and a foil to JGY as well) she leaves before sacrificing her own morals.#Mianmian flies away with her wings only slightly plucked while those who sacrificed everything to reach for the top crash and burn.

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sokkas-therapist · 12 days

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Breaking my silence: I think Zuko’s “I’m angry at myself” explosion in The Beach episode was queer coded

*runs away before I can be booed off the stage*

#zuko #zukka #jetko #or literally anything else #I’m probably not the first person to say this but I haven’t seen anyone say it before #I mean he said himself that he was ‘confused’ and that he ‘didn’t know the difference between right and wrong anymore’#and of course he meant that morally with his realization that the fire nation was wrong #but also…it seems like he’s conflicted emotionally #he was overcompensating with Mai that whole episode #and was very insecure about their relationship even though they weren’ really displaying much chemistry to begin with #like he was trying to force something that was - for the most part - not there #that along with the odd chemistry with Jet and his awkward discomfort with Jin…#idk man #ok I’ll stop yapping now

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jeeaark · 2 months

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Dumb Choice V. 1

Greygold could totally take on their team 1-9. Totally. With 8+ summons and carrying a 10-year-supply of inventory items, Greygold IS the BBG babe's love fight don't count because Greyg didn't wanna fight shh

As much as I don't like where this fork-in-the-road went, boy did I have a lot of time to mull over why squid buddy called it quits. And I couldn't pick just one reason ✨

So let's kick it up a notch with the survival theory.

After hearing how certain mindflayers get the instinctual hankering to be a lil shit that sometimes they gotta roll a dice so as to NOT be a lil shit....

What if. Maybe squid buddy's mindset wasn't just being dead stubborn about surviving, but the exhausted-flayer's survival instincts kicked in. Maybe there was poor communication because Emps was in panic mode, wits at an end, fear on overddrive, every doubt collapsing in on itself, stuck-in-a-corner mode, eye-for-an-eye contemplation, fight-or-flight response overriding any other sensible dialogue options that were available for them.

Maybe Emps failed their don't-be-a-lil-shit roll

And since squid buddy didn't uh....want to repeat the fight response like with Ansur, for various reasons, reacted with flight instead

Funny story, I drew this a while back as a 'fun' theoretical possibility, but been realizing more recently ehhhhh-Emps really coulda just killed us all right then and there (not withstanding Halsin and Jaheira). If Emps had the ability to turn off the mind-protection after you stray too far from the mission, then they coulda done the same thing to everyone now. So if Emps really had a "no more use for us" mindset like a certain mindflayer book says they do, fleeing wasn't necessarily the only way for Emps to survive.

Maybe. Emps was about to react in a way they knew they were gonna regret again and eeehh- counter-reacted by noping the fuck out. For Greygold, I like that theory. Squid Buddy: jumping the gun like a dramatic tired mindless-flayer

#bg3 spoilers #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #the emperor bg3 #greygold #of course there's probably holes in my theory or I could be COMPLETELY wrong #originally I just wanted to draw the teetering parallel of guardian-in-shiny-armor killing their 'more than friends' again #emps going nope nope nope mentally and physically to that intrusive squid thought is a fun new afterthought though #Ansur probably didn't try to use a dagger- maybe attempted decap with a sword....zappy-breathed sleepy squid #but can't resist a -classic- betrayal drama dagger #Just because Greygold just wanted to give orpheus a chance #didn't mean they had no qualms with the squid choice if orpheus felt like quashing that chance thereafter #meanwhile Orpheus over here also going: I'm sorry you were gonna what?

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canisalbus · 4 months

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About the accents: if someone has a very "proper" Italian they are either foreigners or politicians/dignitaries/etc. So that fits perfectly for Machete, but I think it would be so funny if he sometimes slipped up and used a Nepalese word bc he forgot one in "proper" Italian lol

(Funny to me cause Naples has its own language in addition to accent, and most people don't actually know those words)

#ah that's good to hear!#glad it fits him #there's no way he gets it perfect every time #especially in the absence of widely used standardized Italian in the original canon era #there's bound to be a mix up every now and then #I don't know how likely it would be that he absorbed much Venetian at the time he lived there #I remember reading that lectures in medieval and early premodern universities were held in Latin but I could be wrong #even though his original native language is Sicilian I think he has probably lost a lot if not most of it due to lack of use #but it would be kind of funny if the Neapolitan and/or Sicilian influences resurfaced occasionally in private casual conversations #and Vasco who to my knowledge has never been to the south would be left guessing what he was even trying to say #I'm taking the easy way out and lowering their language barriers a bit out of convenience bear with me #I'm not competent enough to deal with all the different languages and dialects and the communication issues that would come with them #answered #anonymous #sorry to point out an obvious typo but I think you must've gotten Neapolitan/Napolese autocorrected to Nepalese by accident or something #unless Machete has secret ties to Nepali that I'm not aware of #which would be quite a twist

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nelkcats · 10 months

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Ghost Blood

Bad things happen to good people

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The Justice League and the Justice League Dark had met to discuss something extremely important and confidential: the end of the world.

While this was something they faced on a weekly basis, this time it was different. It had started when the chaos lords found an ancient ritual to gain power, and multiple villains joined them to complete the requirements. Klarion, who had noticed that the spell was going to end the world sooner or later, informed the heroes.

The problem was that the spell was already underway, and it was a process that could not be stopped. They had a couple of hours left before all the known horrors in the universe would take an interest in Earth.

The Justice League Dark was overworked, all of them looked extremely exhausted. Even Deadman offered to help but there was little he could do. As they discussed how to proceed, Constantine grabbed an old spell book he was leafing through and angrily threw it to the ground, catching everyone's attention.

"Bloody hell" the Brit glared at the ground angrily "so fucking close".

His companions asked him what was going on, to which Constantine informed them that there was a solution to their current problem. Some sort of powerful cancelation spell that would solve their problems. He saw their hopeful faces and sighed, he supposed he should break their hopes sooner than later.

"We can't use it" the Hellbazer said wearily.

"Why not?" Wonder Woman looked at him frustrated "if it's the only option, surely we can-"

"We can't use it because one of the ingredients doesn't exist!" Constantine blurted out, furious. He had analyzed all the options and that was the only one that might work, but the essential ingredient was missing.

"The spell requires ghost blood" John commented after calming down, desperation could be heard in his voice "but ghosts don't have blood, their blood is ectoplasm, it's impossible!"

Deadman had suddenly gone silent.

"There would have to be a hybrid or something but clearly they don't exist, it's too unlikely."

The League, which had previously perked up at the possible solution, sank back in disappointment. Zatanna, however, noticed the ghost's reaction and watched him curiously.

"...What if it's possible?" Deadman's voice was heard in the silence. Constantine had made him visible to the others during the investigation but the ghost was not used to the attention.

"It's not, it's not possible to combine life and death, the balance would have been broken one way or another" Constantine denied.

"John, what if it's possible?" Deadman repeated "what if a hybrid exists?"

What if the hybrid is the balance?

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?" Constantine observed his friend. Ghost blood was a myth, mentioned in many books but never used.

"Don't get too excited" the ghost warned "there is a hybrid with that kind of blood but he's not-, he doesn't trust humans anymore, for a very good reason."

"However, he does exist" Wonder Woman said in disbelief "can you tell us more?"

Deadman looked around at the nearly destroyed dimension and begged the Ancients for forgiveness for what he was about to do.

"He was born by the Realms and for the Realms, he's a good boy" Deadman sighed, revealing the secret he was never supposed to mention "but as you well know, bad things happen to good people."

The ghost thought of the communique that had reached all the ghosts. On how the Ancients had taken in a child, how they had demanded that he needed to be left alone.

"It's not my place to say what happened" and he didn't have many details either, though gossip traveled fast "but he doesn't trust anyone beyond his guardians, he hates adults and he's scared of needles and other medical instruments, I don't think he'll be much help."

"We have to try, there's not much time left" Batman frowned. Something inside him stirred at the mention of an injured child "Can you tell us where he is?"

"The Infinite Realms" Constantine replied instantly, lighting a cigarette, his hands were shaking "But who are his guardians?"

"The Ancients" Deadman replied "and if you want their help, you really must come up with a plan."

It was obvious that only the Justice League Dark had understood the implications of all this, they were pale and looked scared. Even Dr. Fate and Marvel looked like the end of the world had been confirmed.

"I can take you there" the ghost said, nostalgic at the thought of visiting the dimension "time doesn't work the same there, so you won't spend much time even if it takes weeks to get close, but you can't all go, you'll scare him off"

"We'll go" Captain Marvel spoke up, overcoming his fear "if it's the only option, we'll go."

Little did they know that from the Infinite Realms the Master of Time was watching them with a raised eyebrow. The Ancient shook his head, knowing he should prepare for visitors before heading to the couch next to his screens. Danny was reclining there, sipping hot chocolate and bundled up in one of his cloaks.

The halfa greeted him looking relaxed but Clockwork wouldn't be fooled by that (he could still see the boy, his boy, with his chest wounded, crying for help), he reached over to stroke his protégé's hair affectionately, thinking of ways to get rid of his visitors. While Danny was likely to want to help, he couldn't care less about what happened to that dimension.

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somegrumpynerd · 19 days

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How absolutely wild must it have been for Nightmare to have like, minimum-to-no contact with mortals for hundreds of years and then the first two he has any regular close interactions with are Killer and Dust.

Like he must have a book in his castle somewhere of all the observations he kept like he was studying a new species

#UTDR #UTMV #Nightmare Sans #Killer Sans #Dust Sans #I could probably ramble for a while about the effect Killer had on him alone #But imagine being hurt by the world and carrying the grudge for hundreds of years while you wreak havoc all by yourself #And then you get one (1) roommate and he's so strange and unhinged but not at all what you expected #And then you get a second and he's so different again it's like they're different creatures even though they came from the same root world #And you get a third and he's a little more grounded but still has such wild needs and stipulations #By the time he got Cross he was probably onto his 3rd book of observations #If you dig around in Nightmare's library or office long enough I just know you can find at least one book where he's noted down what all hi #boys need and like and hate and what they refuse to do and how to handle them #Like someone leaving super detailed instructions for the care of their pampered beloved pet #Anyway Killer loves to joke to the other 3 that they should be nice to him because he ''let Nightmare adopt them''#and he's not entirely wrong #Anyway I need to go to bed so I can work all day tomorrow (rip) goodnight gang!!

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egophiliac · 9 months

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How do you imagine Levan/Revan/ Mallenoa's husband?

Appearance, personality etc.

Revaan/Laverne/whatever-his-name-is's title sort of implies that he might be from a fantasy-Eastern country (they've established that in Twstland, 竜 = Eastern-style dragons, andドラゴン = Western-style dragons). and that's about as much as we know right now about...anything in regards to what he might look like. so I've been trying very hard not to form too much of a mental picture of him, because I'm still hoping we'll get to see him (or at least a silhouette)! ergo, in my head, he kind of looks like this:

so handsome. surely Malenoa fell in love at first glance.

I do think the funniest thing about what we've learned so far is that Malleus being kind of quiet and reserved and dignified...absolutely did not come from the Draconias. and he sure as heck did not learn it from Lilia. so he probably got a lot of that from his dad! the vibe I get from how Lilia talks about him is that he could be a bit of a prim little fancyboy sometimes, but was (mostly) willing to go along with his wife's zany antics out of love. he sounds sweet, honestly! I'm sorry he (maybe) died. :(

my favorite thing about Mal's parents is that Malenoa and Lilia's dynamic was "long-suffering guard and princess who has long been the cause of said suffering":

but then they would happily join forces in order to gang up on Revaan:

tl;dr Revaan was the straightman in Malenoa and Lilia's comedy act until it all ended horribly whoops

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #can't wait to be proven wrong about all of this!#no seriously if it means more episode 7 i literally cannot wait #oh revaan. hopefully they will not make us wait much longer to learn...anything at all about you #international relations probably got a lot easier once he was around to do the diplomatic stuff #the malenoa-revaan-lilia dynamic seemed to largely revolve around lilia and revaan's shared understanding #that malenoa does whatever she wants and neither of them can stop her #god i love them #while we're on the subject i found out the other day that the romanization of the name eleanor is エレノア #so i wonder if malenoa is actually meant to be something like maleanor as a takeoff on that #i am going to stick with malenoa for now but i think that's kind of cute!#we desperately need some kind of confirmation on revaan's name though twst please #if malleus' dad is actually named laverne i need to know

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popdrop · 5 months

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I STILL CAN'T GET OVER HOW IN THE BEGINNING, CALE PUSHED EVERYONE AWAY. You may say it's because of how "dangerous" and "trouble packed" their journey will be in the story later on— BUT. I JUST CANT HELP BUT FEEL LIKE MAYBE , JUST MAYBE. He didn't want them to be affected by his "curse" (side effect of WS) whether he knew about it or not. Just consider the fact that he KNOWS what will happen to them and how they'll be fighting for a better world and it'd be MUCH better if he's not there. Just in case he worsens whatever will happen.

He's such an unreliable narrator <3 the Worst Kind Ever.

#cale henituse #you will always be famous #TCF #trash of the count's family #and you might say OH he probably doesnt really /know/ about the side effect but i raise you this #this b//tch was able to rise up to be a commander and an absolute BEAST of a team leader.#with a 0% LETHAL RATE (probably. actually need to fact check that but its somewhere along those lines)#poor b//stard was tired of everyone leaving him and if he can help it #no one will suffer. even if it is at his expense #my point is: he's a smart ass he probably figured out something was wrong with him when people doesnt really get Close yo him and anyone-#who DID f//ckin DIED #he deserves the world and more #though he'd probably pass out if was given a world #'I DONT WANT TO RULE A WORLD! GIVE ME MY SLACKER LIFE!!' he'd say

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marlynnofmany · 28 days

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Squishy Cybernetics

“Hello!” I said. “Where would you like this?” I waved an arm at the large pallet of boxes, bags, and miscellaneous other packaging. It was on one of our biggest hoversleds, and accompanied by some of the biggest crewmates.

The Waterwill at the loading gate burbled thoughtfully, sounding like a water jug given sentience. She extended what passed for an arm of her own and pointed indoors. “You’d better bring it all the way in. Over here.” She glided inward, moving in that mysterious way I’d never figured out. Someone shaped like a column of jello had no business scooting forward that quickly, no matter how much their lower end rippled against the floor.

But I didn’t have time for galaxy-gazing; I had to help steer the hoversled. Regulations said we needed someone on all four sides for a load this big, just in case of antigrav mishaps. Didn’t want it slamming into something breakable at this client’s facility — or slamming into anything at all, really, but this place was some sort of high-tech manufacturing plant, and I didn’t want to think about what kind of damage a crash could do.

No mishaps today, though. The Frillian twins paced along on either side, all muscles and tight clothes (they’d left the flowy silks behind today; a solid choice). I couldn’t see Zhee in the back, but I heard the quiet click of his bug feet. My own feet were silent in proper Earth shoes as I tugged the steering handle and followed the Waterwill.

I thought we’d just take the thing to the far side of the big loading dock, unload it in an out-of-the-way spot to be unpacked later. But the Waterwill kept going. We passed hovercars and wheeled carts, storage cabinets and bins, along with a baffling arrangement of pipes along one wall. Windows showed glimpses of the busy manufacturing facility. I had no idea what they were making. Maybe I’d get a better look on the way back out.

Oh hey, a human, I thought in surprise as I passed a bigger window. With a Strongarm on his back? What in the world are they making together? I was already moving past, and could only speculate about intricate manufacturing projects that needed hands and tentacles at the same time.

I was still wondering why the Strongarm hadn’t just pulled up a chair next to the human when the Waterwill signalled me to stop. “Stopping,” I announced for Zhee’s benefit. We all came to a halt, and nobody crashed into anything. Hallelujah.

“Here, please,” the Waterwill said. She stretched her arm out into a long tendril to pick up a scrap of something blue that had fallen on the floor, and pointed at an empty space near several foam-topped tables. “I’m needed out front. Heeme, can you oversee?”

“Sure thing,” said a voice from nowhere, then a Strongarm climbed out from under one of the tables. “Found the last of the broken bits, by the way.” Two of his tentacles were curled around pieces of the same blue stuff the Waterwill had picked up. The blue stood out against the dark red of his skin, but not as much as the four mismatched tentacles on other side did. They were a transparent blue-green much like the Waterwill’s own tendrils. I tried not to stare, and failed.

“Thank you,” the Waterwill said. “I’ll be back in a bit.” She set her broken piece of whatever on the nearest table, then scooted through a door that was apparently soundproofed, because a cacophony of whirs and whooshes filled the air until it closed.

“Right,” I said. “Over here, then.” I steered the hoversled into position, then we all worked together to guide the detachable gravity platform onto the ground. That part always made me nervous, since it looked like the giant pallet that could crush me was floating through the air with just a touch of technological magic to make it go. I understand other models of industrial-sized hoversleds have more mechanical-looking gravity platforms, or regular forklift arms. Ours was the glowy magic kind, and it deposited the giant stack of objects with all the precision of the best fairytale enchantment.

“Perfect,” said the Strongarm. “We’ll unpack it from here. Thanks.”

“Our pleasure,” I said.

Zhee, finally able to see over the hoversled, got a good look at who I was talking to. “Oh, I’m sure you’re fast at unpacking,” he said, pointing with his pincher arm. “Does that model form into blades?”

“Sure does!” the Strongarm said, holding up a see-through tentacle that instantly flattened into a shape like a steak knife. “Good for packaging, stubborn latches, and all manner of other things.”

“And stabbing!” Blop put in, to be immediately shushed by his sister.

“No stabbing on the job,” she told him.

The Strongarm laughed. “Yeah, just respectable tool use. They don’t give these out to anyone who’s going to do violence with them.”

I asked, “Is that Waterwill tech? I haven’t seen one before.”

“Yup.” He turned the knife back into a tentacle, then into a variety of other shapes. “One of the perks of working here, for sure. They’re cagey about sharing tech. This is the best prosthesis I’ve ever encountered.”

I thought of the hard metal-and-plastic replacement limbs that were standard on Earth. They would be wildly out of place on this guy’s squishy octopus body. And no amount of interchangeable attachments would be able to beat this kind of easy shapeshifting. I said, “That looks really useful.”

“It is!”

The loud door opened to admit a wall of sound, along with the human-and-Strongarm pair. Which I realized with a start was actually just a human wearing more transparent tentacles on his back.

“Here’s the new set,” he said to the Strongarm, placing a clear box on the table that was full of a stack of more flat blue things. They appeared to be cut into very specific shapes. I might have been curious about what they were for if not for the much more interesting thing to be curious about.

“Hello,” I said. “Does everyone who works here get extra limbs?”

The tan human grinned. “If they want ‘em! And they pass the screening, of course. But you’ve got to leave them here each day if they’re the bonus kind, as opposed to replacements.”

The Strongarm wiggled his tentacles in a taunting manner. “I can open packages and slice food so easily at home.”

The human made a face and wiggled the tentacles on his back. “Yeah yeah, we’re all jealous. Someday I’ll convince the bosses that there’s an actual market for these, and I’ll be the first in line to buy my own.”

“They think there isn’t?” I asked in shock. “Those look so useful! I can’t list the number of times I’ve wished for more hands. Using teeth and feet only goes so far.”

Zhee made a disparaging hiss. “You have that many fingers, and still want more? Greedy.”

“I’m just saying that re-weaving a cargo net would go much faster if I could hold all of the fibers at once,” I told him, then turned to the Frillians. “Back me up. Two arms just isn’t enough sometimes, right?”

Blip and Blop looked at each other and shrugged. “I guess?” Blip said. “But that’s just when it’s time to get another person to help.”

Zhee clicked a pincher. “Exactly so. Or approach the problem differently.”

The human told me, “I’ve had this conversation more than once. Apparently not all species grow up imagining what it’s like to have bird wings or monkey tails or whatnot.”

“Surely other people want to fly,” I said. The expressions around me were dishearteningly blank. “Surely!”

“I wouldn’t bet on it,” the human said. “See why I couldn’t convince the bosses?”

“But even on a practicality standpoint!” I exclaimed. “They have you using them here; why wouldn’t they think you’d want to use them at home?”

He shrugged, moving the tentacles in a graceful wave as he did. “Alien brains. I’ve given up trying to fully understand.”

The Strongarm spoke up. “If there are actually a large number of humans who would buy these, then it couldn’t hurt to put together a request from outside sources. The bosses don’t listen to random employees who are probably biased, but they might take an interest in actual buyers.”

I shook my head slowly. “Our courier ship isn’t going to be that kind of buyer, especially not at the scale they’d probably need.”

“What about big human ships?” Blip asked. “We could suggest it to the next one we meet.”

“Or human colonies,” Blop said. “Or large groups at space stations.”

Zhee said, “I heard Captain Sunlight talking about a delivery to Basal Station soon. There are plenty of humans there. You could suggest it to them, if you think this is really that widespread an interest.”

“It couldn’t hurt,” I said, thinking. There was indeed a significant human population on that space station, which might even include the crew I’d met from the droid jousting ship Hold My Beer. They were definitely the type to appreciate some extra arms. Both for working on finicky electronics and general slapfight shenanigans.

“Here, we should have something with the contact information,” said the Strongarm. “Jon, is there a notepad over there?”

“Yeah, got it.” The human leaned over a table and used his tentacles to lift a stack of books so he could pull out the small notepad at the bottom. That may have been showing off. “Here you go!” He handed it to me with his regular hand.

“Thanks,” I said. “I’ll see if I can find the right ears to whisper into.”

“Best of luck!” he said. “My partner has asked me no less than half a dozen times if I could sneak my set home to play around with, but I’m not gonna risk the job.”

I laughed, hoping I wasn’t blushing. “Oh man, I wasn’t even going to mention the bedroom applications.”

Of course Zhee had to ask, tilting his head with faceted eyes shining. “The what?”

“Remember how most humans find tentacles a little creepy?” I asked him, pocketing the notepad.

“I recall. It makes this insistence all the stranger.”

“Well, some humans aren’t creeped out at all. Kind of the opposite. They like them a lot. In a, uh, private fashion.”

Jon the human spelled it out for him. “Mating rituals.”

Zhee’s antennae did a complicated dance, then settled in something that looked like disgust. “I was about to ask why, but I’ve decided I don’t want to know.”

“Yeah, best not to,” I agreed. “Anyway! Very useful extra arms. Good for a wide variety of activities. Other humans will likely be interested.”

“Very likely,” Jon agreed.

I activated the hovercart with a nod, and we said our goodbyes. The employees wished me luck. They returned to work while we headed back toward our ship.

Zhee grumbled disparaging things about my species the whole way, but that was nothing new.

~~~

The ongoing backstory adventures of the main character from this book. More to come! And I am currently drafting a sequel!

PS: the story with the good ship Hold My Beer is here, if you're wondering about that. It's fun.

#my writing #The Token Human #I probably should have thought up a prank-related story for today #given what day this getting posted #but it didn't occur to me and I already had this idea #plus that might feel like a repeat of 'What’s a Minor Heart Attack Between Friends?'#which I'm going to reblog next just for funsies #anyways the location for this story is partly based on my old workplace #though the noise is on the wrong side of the door #humans are weird #haso #hfy #eiad #humans are space orcs #humans are space bards #and other such tags #tentacles #prosthetics #in spaaace

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