#re which based on how they treated me is not surprising but i really do want to commit evil acts whenever i think about it

[lokisprettygirl]

My Love is mine, All mine (18+) (CEO! Daemon Targaryen x Female Reader) (Non Canon -Modern AU)

Read Chapter 1 here // Series Masterlist

Chapter 2

Summary: You wrestle with your thoughts and insecurities regarding Daemon's new assistant.

Warning: 18+, smut, insecurities, mention of abuse, smoking, extreme insecurities and trust issues, mention of infertility

“I can read your future” you mumbled as you turned towards him, he was sitting on your couch at the moment. Daemon Targaryen, the man you had been crushing on for a year now, the man who wouldn't take a hint that you wanted him to take you right on this very couch as you had fantasized the same a million times before.

“How so?” He smirked as he sipped on the coffee you had offered him. After that day in the college you kept bumping into him in the most random of places, one would think one of you were stalking the another, that's what you thought at first, you really thought he was able to watch your location at all times since he had invented that thing but he wasn't a creep like that.

Far from that, he had been a complete gentleman with you, at times he treated you like a child because you were younger than him, which you despised greatly. You were twenty two now, he was twenty nine, the age gap wasn't as horrendous as he made it out to be.

“My mom taught me” you grabbed his unoccupied hand and his breath hitched slightly as you scooted closer to him on the couch, for a moment you just stared at his palm so he let out a chuckle,

“What?” He asked you so you cleared your throat ..

“Nothing it's just..you have such..big big hands..strong hands” you mumbled as you bit on your lower lip subconsciously but all of a sudden his mind was filled with filthy images of him using these same hands on you and his pants were straining him.

“So I have been told” he mumbled softly to get rid of the sexual tension so you gave him a smile..

“So this is your heart line here” you traced your fingers slowly from the base of his thumb and moved upwards, the touch sent shivers down his spine, at times he felt as if you were really into him but then he controlled his thoughts.

Too young ..you were too young for him.

“Something happened to you.. something that has changed you as a person” you mumbled softly so he hummed in response. You didn't know yet about the tragedy that had occurred in his family a few years ago so that surprised him.

“Tell me more” he mumbled as he scooted even closer and now it was your turn to grow nervous. He was too close and he smelled divine, all you wanted to do was climb on top of him and please him until he was a sweaty mess.

“This is your head line..the brain if you will and as you can see it's so dark and defined..no surprise there mister” you mumbled so he gave you a smile. He wasn't the smartest guy in the world but he definitely was the smartest man in the most places he went to..

“More darling” his husky voice made you feel bashful, you were clutching onto his long slender fingers, thoughts of lifting them up and sucking them into your mouth kept messing with your head.

“Ummm this is your life line.. straight and uninterrupted..you're going to live a very long life Mr Targaryen”

“Really?” He scrunched his nose as if he was disappointed by the knowledge so you nodded in response.

“And this is your fate line..you're destined for greatness and you'll be a very successful man someday” He shook his head as you said that, there was a constant smile on his face but then he grabbed your index finger and traced it along the line which began from the base of his index finger to the thumb. You had to count in your head so you won't do anything stupid, the proximity was killing you.

“What is this one sweetheart?” He asked you and your face flushed in response, the way he was holding you, the sound of his voice, everything was your demise that day.

“That's umm your marriage line.. it's uhh dark and straight with no cuts, which shows that you're very loyal in your relationships and ummm you're going to have a long healthy marriage someday”

“Mhhhm? You think so?” you gave him a mischievous smile as he asked you and that's when he knew you were messing with him.

“I wouldn't know..i wasn't really paying attention when my mother taught me these things”

However everything you said that day had some truth in it, even though you had made it up.

You knew you had to stop staring at her but you couldn't, not because you were charmed by her 5 '10 height or long shiny hair, but because Daemon was talking to her on the other side of the room and there was plenty of smiling, and she was laughing at his jokes. He was a funny guy, you couldn't deny that. He was quick witted and oh so charming.

You knew you were overthinking, of course you knew, he'd never hurt you like that.. right? Then why didn't he tell you he had a new shiny assistant, and a supermodel one at that.

In the past years you had seen first hand how devoted Daemon was to you but everytime another woman had eyes on him, you just knew, you always knew when women looked at him a certain way, you knew when they were dying for him to fuck them. And he always was oblivious to the attention he got, that's how he was with you in the beginning, you were into his face, throwing signs that you wanted him to take you somewhere aside and fuck you into oblivion but he was oblivious. He didn't make a move until he was completely sure.

He was rich, successful, famous and gorgeous inside out, you didn't blame women for flocking around him but you blamed yourself for getting so caught up into your insecurities. This wasn't the first time you felt wary of a woman's intentions that he was working with.

There had been discussions and arguments about this before, mostly from your part, he always tried his best to get rid of your doubts with gentleness but when you were PMSing and drowning in your insecurities, his soft calm nature only infuriated you further. As your insecurities intensified, so too did your mistrust, and you couldn't help but worry that you were pushing him away with your constant need for reassurance.

Your jealousy made it impossible for you to understand that he was allowed to be friendly with his employees and have platonic relationships with other women.

For the next fifteen minutes you watched him make his way around the party and speak to his employees. He was a good boss and definitely not a bossy boss, that's why people who worked for him adored him so much.

When he finally walked towards you he grabbed your hand and dragged you to the dance floor so you smiled and wrapped your arms around his neck,

“Why do I feel as if you're bored?” He asked you as your bodies moved to the rhythm slowly, he leaned down to peck your lips before he twirled you around and made you dip in a dramatic fashion which made you giggle in response.

“I'm not bored i promise..i was just missing you” you mumbled softly so he stared at you intently as if he was trying to figure out your thoughts.

Don't say it, don't say it please.

“Ummm so what happened to Marcus?”

Okay you had said it.

Marcus was his previous assistant before he had hired the new girl, not that he discussed every decision he made for his company with you but you just needed an excuse to talk about the new girl.

“He found a better opportunity”

“Mmm okay..you didn't tell me that he left and there's a new one” you let out a laugh to keep your tone casual but you couldn't mask your curiosity to save your life.

“He left just two weeks ago darling..i have been busy with the work trip so it slipped my mind” he mumbled softly so you nodded and didn't stretch the subject as it would have raised questions.

A few minutes later you saw her walk towards him while he was catching up with other employees and you couldn't tell from the distance whether she was crying or not, if only you weren't so nearsighted, but you clearly watched him put his hand on her shoulder in a comforting manner as he leaned down to speak to her.

He then pulled his phone out and then she was gone with one other woman, every woman that worked for him was taken care of when it came to their personal safety. If you didn't have means to travel or weren't comfortable traveling on your own he provided a safe transport service free of cost, every employee that worked for him got free home security as well.

He was a good person, a good man accompanied with that tall hot large frame, striking personality, genius mind and all that ethereal beauty and you knew he could have found someone so much better than what he got in you and that was the reason why you felt so inferior at times, it wasn't his fault, he never made you feel that way, it was all you because you knew what a gem you had won in life and you feared losing his interest in you sexually and most of all his love for you.

You feared that someday he'd look back into his life and would regret not marrying a woman that would be better suited for him in every possible way, the one who'd give him not just love and support but would also help him with the business and the legacy he wanted to leave behind.

Someone who could give him that thing you knew you won't be able to give, it was only getting worse with time, he never said anything but deep down you knew he wanted it, he wanted children.

On the drive back home he noticed that you were quiet so he raised his arm up and placed it on your shoulder, his fingers then glided over your bare skin in a comforting manner but his touch was personal and intimate, definitely not how he comforted his assistant. Why were you comparing? He was your husband for god's sake.

“Are you tired baby?” He asked you so you turned your head to look at him.

“No i just..is everything okay with your new assistant? I saw her crying”

He was focusing on the steering wheel so he was quiet for a moment, it must have been three seconds at most, but since you were on the edge it felt like an hour.

“Sheena? Yeah..poor girl, she's dealing with a lot” he mumbled under his breath so you hummed in response.

“What's wrong?”

“You know..abusive parents as a kid and now she's dating some reckless arse”

Is that why he gave her the job? Because he felt bad for her? Or was she actually qualified? Were you assuming she wasn't smart enough to handle his busy schedule at work just by her loooks? Definitely.

“She told you that?”

“I asked her.. she always seemed so lost”

“Well i hope she's fine” you mumbled and didn't ask more questions, when you both reached home you excused yourself and decided to take a shower to clear your cluttered thoughts.

You were overthinking as usual, he wasn't going to leave his wife to rescue some damsel in distress. Yeah that was it, just your stupid brain was braining again.

But she was young and hot, so goddamn beautiful, and broken, and perhaps capable of giving him things you really couldn't.

When you came out he was already under the covers, half naked, he had his reading glasses on, you remembered how he used to look at you everytime you came out of the showers covered in barely a towel, now he didn't even look up at times. It's been six years since you were together in the romantic sense, the honeymoon phase was well over, but you wished once in a while he would look at you the same way he used to.

As you sat down on the dressing chair, you grabbed the bottle of the lotion and grabbed your night dress over your thighs to moisturize, as Daemon noticed what you were doing his eyes followed your every moment.

The way you rubbed the lotion on your skin tantalized him still, and how your skin glimmered in the dim light as you worn such sensuous nightwear, he could watch you be this way forever. He did have his eyes on you but you never had your eyes on him in those moments, you were always busy with the task on hand so you failed to notice that he was looking at you so adoringly, eyes filled to the brim with bouts of love and lust both.

As you got into the bed after drying your hair he placed the book down, took his glasses off and propped himself on his elbow to look at you.

You trailed your fingers on his sternum to caress the small trail of hair between his chest so he leaned down and kissed you, next thing you knew he was on top of you and your hands were inside his briefs as you cupped his plump ass cheeks between your palms.

He was making up for the days he wasn't here and also for the days he knew he wouldn't be here.

The next morning when you woke up he had left already, you didn't want to go to work today, you wanted to make lunch for him and go see him in the office, because you had the urge to be around him and the new assistant. This wasn't healthy, you didn't need a third person to spell this out to you but you couldn't help yourself at times, you knew she desired him, you just knew and you knew she was his secretary so she was around him all the time.

So you spent two hours to make a hearty lunch, you'd do it everyday, not to keep an eye on him but just to feed him freshly home cooked meals but he didn't allow you to do this everyday, you had a line of staff at home to do these things for you two, not that you weren't grateful for the lavish life he was providing you but sometimes you missed those old days when it was just you and him in that small one room apartment, you had made the most cherished memories of your life in that tiny apartment. Now you had a big house but it wasn't filled with laughter and giggles, he was away for his work more than he was here with you.

Daemon had also hired you a chauffeur, his name was Otto, he took you to work and basically wherever you needed to go so you didn't have to travel on your own because it wasn't safe.

You looked down at the safety ring on your third finger and sighed as a memory from the past pricked your heart.

Once you had left the house without it, it was storming out there and he wasn't able to get a hold of you, when you finally came home that day he cried in your arms like a baby because he feared he had lost you, you had promised him that day you'd never go anywhere where he couldn't reach you.

As you stepped inside the office building, every employee you saw greeted you, some you knew from years as they have been working for him since the company started to take off but some were fairly new.

“Hello mam, please sit down, he's in a meeting and will join you shortly” The receptionist Cole said to you as he assisted you to his cabin so you gave him a polite smile and wished him a good day.

A few minutes later when he entered his eyes lit up as he looked at you but then you saw Sheena tailing behind him with his laptop and his coffee mug hanging on her perfectly manicured hand. She looked somehow better in business casuals, you watched him conversing with her about the meeting for a moment before she turned to leave. She didn't forget to greet you on the way out. You were the boss's wife, of course everyone wanted to be nice to you even if they didn't really know you that well as you didn't really get involved in his business.

“She seems..nice” you gave him the most obvious fake smile as he leaned himself against the desk in front of you..

“She's a smart kid..graduated from MIT..lots of potential”

Okay you didn't need to know that. You didn't need to know that she was a beauty with so much brain packing in there as well.

Daemon was a MIT alumni as well so perhaps he saw potential in her..

“What are you doing here sweet girl..i thought you had work today” he asked you as he caressed your cheek with his thumb so you shrugged.

“Surprise?”

“I love your surprises”

“Mmmhm?” You asked him so smirked and grabbed the phone from his desk.

“ Cole, make sure I'm not seeing anyone for the next hour, inform Sheena to take her lunch break now as we have that online conference session with the CEO of Stark Industries”

As he put the phone down, he went around the desk and started tinkering with something on his laptop..

“Um are you busy..I can wait”

You mumbled softly so he looked at you intently.

“Shhhhhhh”

You gulped as he shushed you up and that's when you knew what he was doing. He was turning off the security cameras in his personal cabin for the time you were there, then he walked towards you and picked you up from the chair as if you weighed nothing and took you to the couch which made you yelp and giggle in his arms.

“Lunch will get cold”

“Considering how easily you make me lose in this game..I don't think so”

“You're so…excited these days” you mumbled as you took his jacket off to set it aside so it won't get creased.

“Don't blame me for that beautiful”

“Yeah right” you bit on your lips as he entered you slowly, you had put on this sexy dress under your coat for a reason.

“Stressed aren't you?” You asked him as your fingers traced over his scalp.. he was trying so hard to not moan loudly.

“Don't do that I'd crumble like a stack of cards and will definitely fall asleep which I can't afford” he mumbled between his labored breaths as his hips maintained a slowed rhythm.

“Poor baby ..you need rest” you whispered against his mouth so he kissed you passionately.

“You're my rest–”

“Mmhmm..”

“So beautiful…i love you so much my darling”

“I love you baby”

He placed his forearms on the arm of the couch as he thrusted in and out of you with an increased pace, once in a while he leaned down to kiss you softly, you fingers clenched around his waist, legs curled around his thighs, you loved this position the most, you could see every little expression on his face and he was so fucking scintillating when he was on top of you like this.. everytime he moved the scent of his cologne filled your senses and you felt intoxicated. But then you smelled something else on his shirt but decided to keep your mouth shut for the moment.

“I should come here more often to take away your stress”

“Mmmm you know i don't have to fuck you for that right? You do that by merely existing and by being mine”

Your eyes moistened as he said that, you have been in your head since yesterday so his words made you feel a tad better..just a tad though.

“Are you mine?”.

“Always wifey..I'm all yours.. always”

As he came and took you along with him..he collapsed next to you and wrapped his arms around your waist to hold onto you, he wished he could have stayed there like this for hours but it wasn't possible, especially not today.

Once you both got cleaned up you fixed his tie and helped him with his jacket so he wasn't looking all fucked out. Then you took out the lunch box and made him eat every bite, half of the reason why he was so fit even though he was in his late thirties now was due to his poor eating habits.

“You're smoking again” you asked him and he stopped chewing for a moment to look at you.

“Just one i promise.. when I'm feeling all blehhh” he didn't finish his words but just shook his head and rolled his eyes animatedly which made you smile.

“It's okay…I just..you can tell me these things you know..”

“I know..i just started it I promise” you nodded as he said that. He was addicted to those things so you were glad he wasn't jumping straight into that addiction again. You believed him when he said he was taking just one, he wouldn't lie about these things, that you knew.

But then why was it so hard to believe that he won't stray away from you and this marriage?

After you both were done eating you sat down on his lap and cuddled him for whatever time you had left with him, he was at work, you had to remember that. His fingers traced over the safety ring, in the past years he had developed and upgraded that ring to make it as safe and as equipped as possible but he wasn't done with it just yet even though his hands were full.

TargSecure started with this ring but moved on to produce a variety of other safety gears, he had two more branches in other parts of the country, the London one was being managed by Aemond because Daemon wanted to stay here.

As you stepped out of his office you passed by Sheena’s cabin.. unlike Daemon she had a glass door so as soon as she saw you she stood up and walked towards you.

Please don't be nice to me, your inner thoughts screamed at you and you felt pathetic.

“Hello Mrs. Targaryen..are you leaving?” She asked you so you nodded.

“Just call me y/n.. Sheena right?” You asked her as if you didn't know her name at all. She gave you a nod in agreement but then her phone began to ring so she looked at you apologetically.

“It's Daemon sir.. I have to go.. have a good day Mrs. Targaryen...uhh sorry y/n” she giggled as she finished her sentence.

“Have a good day” you mumbled as she walked past you and as soon as she was out of sight..you let out a deep sigh.

Why were you like this? Your husband was right inside you just now telling you how much he loved you then why couldn't you just stop your brain from running into overdrive when he wasn't around you?

The trust issues were not built in you because of him but they definitely were ruining things for you.

When he came back home that day he informed you that he was leaving for NYC for a few days, well that wasn't a surprise but then he told you that he would be taking Sheena along with him, she was his personal secretary afterall.

Every nerve in your body was on fire after that. As you helped him pack for the trip you felt nauseous and you didn't know how to calm down so you blurted out the first thing that came to your mind when you turned around to speak to him..

“i want to come..I want to join the trip”

🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙂🙂🙂🙃

Taglist

@anukulee @erebus-et-eigengrau @daenny-t @123forgottherest @mcufan72 @dixie-elocin @

#daemon targaryen #daemon targaryen x female reader #daemon targaryen x reader smut #daemon targaryen x reader fluff #daemon targaryen x reader angst #modern day au #non canon au #modern daemon targaryen

[noddytheornithopod]

PnF Season 5 Title Speculation

Okay first thing's first, found out through this (click on "relationships"), which I found out through the PnF Wiki twitter.

As for the episode titles themselves, I will list what's been confirmed here.

501: Summer Block Buster/Cloudy with a Chance of Mom

502: Appetite for Adventure/License to Bust

503: Dry Another Day/Deconstructing Doof

504: Tropey McTropeface/Biblio-Blast!

505: A Chip to the Vet/More Than an Intern

506: The Aurora Perry-Alis/Lord of the Firesides

507: Agent T (for Teen)/The Haberdasher

508: [Title TBD]/Out of Character

Alright, now that's out of the way, time to get crazy and speculate nonsense based on titles alone

Summer Block Buster: I don't really have much to say besides the fact the title is very fitting. Yeah Summer Block Busters are a thing, but I won't be surprised if this episode is just one big grand re-entrance for everyone. I expect it to be very meta about it too, some of the dialogue Dan recorded for Doof even suggests this.

License to Bust: IDK what to say here but the whole pun on "licence to kill" (which is also the title of a Bond movie). I don't think puns are emblematic of much, but it's most explicit confirmation Candace is still trying to bust her brothers, which people understandable debated after Candace Against the Universe. Wonder if the licence thing is going to be relevant.

Dry Another Day: Second Bond title pun, lol.

Deconstructing Doof: Not sure what's being gotten at here, but it's an intriguing title to say the least. Very uh interesting. I could make a joke about how it's about how they don't know what to do with him post Summer but I'm not here for snarky commentary.

Tropey McTropeface: Uh... very interesting. Named after Boaty McBoatface, apparently. IDK what tropey nonsense they're getting up to though.

Biblio-Blast: I feel like SOMETHING is being said here but I don't know what. Was pointed out to me it could be something about weaponised books but IDK what that even looks like.

A Chip to the Vet: Okay this is very interesting. Firstly, it's probably Perry going to the vet. Secondly... one thing done for pets at vets is to get chipped. Whether it's just something the vet does or it's a deliberate request so they can get an idea of where Perry wanders off to... it's gonna be a big problem for Perry. Hopefully OWCA has a way to get around that lol.

More than an Intern: Carl episode. Nuff said. More trying to prove himself to Monogram probably even as Monogram treats him like shit, lmao.

The Aurora Perry-Alis: Aurora Borealis? At this time of year, at this time of- yeah we all know Steamed Hams probably. No idea what this will add up to honestly, maybe some kind of astronomical phenomenon that looks like a platypus, or the gang make one? If there's anything I have to say though, there's a chance it might run parallel to the next episode in a Bubble Boys or Bee Day type fashion, because...

Lord of the Firesides: Yeah you know I'm gonna be talking about what is obviously a Fireside Girls episode as that guy with the Isabella brainrot. So if it works like Temple of Sap or Bee Story, it COULD run parallel to the last episode, but that's not guaranteed. Either way... some friction between the Fireside Girls is going to come up. The title obviously references Lord of the Flies, aka the story where kids turn brutal and try to dominate each other or whatever. Maybe there's a split Isabella is caught in the middle of. Or perhaps... Isabella is removed as troop leader. She could make some serious blunder (could even be unrelated to Phineas even if that bias does affect her activities a lot), but maybe the other girls just end up being sick of Isabella's Phineas nonsense after something went too far. :P If Isabella is kicked out, I feel like she'd really struggle with that, because being a Fireside Girl is really important to her. Also, IDK who would replace Isabella as leader (honestly this ep would be good to just flesh out the other girls more in general), but I did see a hilarious suggestion that maybe it could be Candace. Would be similar to We Call it Maize (a very underrated episode IMO) but with more serious consequences. Not something I'm riding on, but it's a fun idea, especially if she proves she's more egotistical or just outright doesn't know what she's doing. Also saw a hilarious yet touching idea that somehow PHINEAS helps Isabella regain her leadership, he'd reassure her of why she's a good Fireside Girl and all that (cuz he believes in her to the ends of the Universe guys, shit my Phinabella is showing), or just somehow help her prove herself again. Also, the solution coming from what the girls thought was the problem would just be ironic and funny in a very PnF way. Either way... amazing at what a mere title can make me wonder.

Agent T (for Teen): Perry the teenage girl??? Okay so I've already seen this catch on from many people, but if there's one thing everyone in the Phineas and Ferb fandom wants, it's more Stacy and Perry interaction. Sure, maybe it could be someone else (Monty's a teenager, where's he been? maybe something leading to or following up Vanessa's internship based on when the revival takes place, or even some weird Candace shenanigans)... but come on. Even if it isn't, we all are gonna see this and hope it's Stacy related as she gets roped back into Perry's world again.

The Haberdasher: So something to do with selling men's clothing? Definitely a scheme PnF could enact. Also there's the meaning of stuff for things like sewing but that's supposedly British and the men's clothing thing is American soooo we know what's more likely. I wonder who's gonna get the glow up though? Baljeet? Jeremy? Maybe the guys just wanna slay? Shit, Phinabella brainrot is back, what happens when she sees whatever Phineas puts on? :v Of course, this could somehow tie to the B-plot too, maybe Doof needs to dress nicely for something.

TBD: Truly a profound title. So much is said with mere letters... okay yeah I can't do this lol

Out of Character: So much is said with so little. The first thing that came to mind was once someone asked Dan and Swampy at I believe SDCC if they'd ever do a personality swap episode, and their response was to look at each other and be like "maybe we will now" (it was likely too late before the show ended then but yeah). Point is... maybe we're finally seeing this idea. It can be very easy to have characters act out of character through whatever means ie an inator or invention, but if you're going to name an episode that, I think you're going to have something that really commits to that premise. There is ENDLESS potential of weird dynamic shifts you could do with this, it could be truly hilarious. Maybe it's also body swap shenanigans, but well I think I made my case for personality swap. Just imagine Perry trying to take over the Tri-State Area, or Baljeet bullying Buford, or Ferb talking while Phineas is silent, or *could go on for hours*.

Soooo yeah that's way more speculation than I expected, let's see if any of this leads to anything lol

#phineas and ferb #pnf leaks #pnf spoilers

[kafkaoftherubble]

Weird thought but I really love the various contexts Fushi uses different bodies in. Sandel is for taking care of people, Shin is for talking and carrying things, Nando is to intimidate people and the most fun one is Yuuki as a symbol of peace. How lovely.

Being me, I automatically interpreted this from a cognitive-scientific perspective. I actually think it's scientifically accurate for Fushi to treat each form that way!

Fushi's access to forms is based on memories, right? Once they forget, they can no longer access that form. It means Fushi's form is always bundled together with what they remember as that person's most meaningful traits.

In neuroscience, the famous Hebbian Rule is that "neurons that fire together, are wired together." In other words, I kinda see Fushi's transformation-memory as a fantastical way to illustrate this concept. Transforming to a given form triggers an entire web of memory in Fushi's mind—exactly like how memories themselves also trigger transformation in Fushi's early days. If Fushi had neurons, then these bunches would definitely be bundled together, because when they learn about a person, they are not just forming memories of this person but also how to re-create them. Recreating them on their own flesh, and we see it as Fushi transforming. Recreating them outside of Fushi's current form, we see it as Fushi creating a new body altogether for any Fye to inhabit.

I may hazard a guess and wonder if this is one of the factors why Bestbonnist believes Fushi has no Fye, but imma wait (EXCITEDLY!!!) for their meta essay on this!!! Can't wait to see what they cooked!

There's also another non-scientific perspective for me to interpret this—it's a Buddhist one. It's got to do with the idea of aggregates and non-self. Chiefly speaking, under this thought, a "self" is really just an aggregate of qualities and material making up a "personhood," which is then mistaken as a "self." There is no personhood/"self" existing independently of these aggregates. Hence, whenever Fushi takes a form, they also take up the aggregates that make them, often overlaying these qualities with their own (supposed) "default" qualities[1]. This is why as Sandel they become better at treating people and doing doctor-y things. As Mia they become adept at chair kung-fu. As Yuuki, they become most resolved in being the bridge between two factions.

[1] I have a hypothesis that Fushi's "default" qualities/aggregate are not their own. I actually think it could very well be the Nameless Boy's—Fushi is an addition of all things, but their base as a human is the Nameless Boy's aggregate... according to what Fushi remembers him as. I won't know if it's true until the manga ends!

That's just how I see this, personally! Also, wow a short ramble? I surprised myself!

#fumetsu no anata e #to your eternity #tye #fushi

[djinnandtea]

so I got some interest on this post where I tossed out that I wanted to talk more about monster romance and race and gender. it's been really nice to see a few folks are also wanting to hear/talk about it! I'm not prepared to say anything at length [eta: this turned out to be kind of a lie] with any certainty or research to back me up, but I thought I could post a rough outline of sorts of what I'd want to research and explore further, just as a starting point for myself but also a jumping off point if anyone else has any thoughts or resources.

I guess I'll start with gender first. I'm new to the romance genre generally, but I don't think it's a surprise that the genre has always been dominated by discourse around who reads romance and the kind of gender dynamics presented in a lot of conventional romance books (which are generally heterosexual/heteronormative in a lot of problematic ways). I'm thinking of the harlequin romances my mom and grandma used to read, but also of the discussions around colleen hoover's work and then the dark romance sub-genre too.

this means that there's the obvi discussion to be had about content vs. context. who is writing the romance, what informs their writing, what messaging comes through via choices made by the author, as well as by the context the author is writing in. I'm sure if you've been reading romance--even fanfic--for a while, you're well versed in some of these conversations, even if just in a casual way.

after considering romance on a macro level, I think you'd then have to look at some of those more micro sub-genres. where are gender norms accentuated and exaggerated, and to what end? why is dark romance a thing, why do (usually) straight white women want to fantasize about being in that kind of relationship? what's the purpose being met? (this is all asked non-judgmentally, btw, as I also enjoy dark romance.)

and maybe there are folks who would dislike my comparing of monster romance to dark romance, but I do think the two are related, especially based on a lot of posts I've seen since joining this corner of tumblr. I think there's a lot of interest in exploring ideas around control and dominance that dark romance and monster romance provide contained space for. if you watched my YouTube video, I touch on this a little bit more at the end as well.

I'm sure I'm missing a lot re: gender (like all the stories being told about lgbtq+ MCs), but this is just some initial thoughts at the fore of my brain.

as for race...........well. lol.

there's the very surface level question around what percentage of monster romance FMCs are white. I genuinely don't have this answer, and I know there are a lot of nonwhite FMCs too! but I'd be really curious to know the actual numbers here. why? well, bc diversity matters. but also because of the decades long narratives around white women as victims of men of color, and how that narrative has been used to weaponize whiteness and demonize blackness specifically, and non-whiteness more generally.

I am def not saying that all monster MMCs = depictions of non-whiteness, I'm just thinking about the connections between equating non-white people/bodies with monstrosity. I'm thinking of the historical framing of non-white people and communities as sub-human, as savages, as beastly. inhumane. monsters have kinda always been a metaphor for the other, including the non-white other, and I think it'd be naive of us to assume that vestiges of that brand of racism (which is still alive and well) never inform the ways creators engage with monster romance and monsterfucking, consciously AND unconsciously.

I'm also thinking about orientalism. I'm thinking of the exotification and classification of the east. the way westerners invaded the eastern world and began treating the people there like specimens. I'm thinking about how othering and abjecting and exotifying a culture or community or person can create a power-informed version of sexualizing that culture or community or person. like, othering/abjecting/exotifying can lead to creating a perverted sort of desiring. I have a special interest here because I'm arab, so this stuff feels particularly personal, but yeah. it makes my wheels turn.

there's also a dehumanizing element of turning an othered body into a piece of sexual meat. I'm thinking about the way monsters in these books are always excessive, the way their penises are always massive. we can't pretend that doesn't seem a little familiar to the degrading ways white people have also discussed black bodies, too. like. I'm not saying wanting our monsters to have big dicks is racist, I'm just saying there are some aspects of the genre that I think deserve to be ~unpacked~ and considered in a wider context that takes this kind of stuff into account. not as a confirmed given, but as an avenue worth approaching with curiosity, if only to point out the ways in which it's NOT a product of racism/anti-blackness.

obvi this post is not backed up at present with a single source because I'm just thinking out loud based on stuff I've read previously over the years that I definitely would need to revisit, so I totally get if you read this and think I'm being ridiculous. but if you saw my first post and were kinda wondering what I had in mind when making it, this is it.

#monrom crit #rambles #monster romance #monsterfucker #long post #monrom

[jjsmaybank20]

Hi!!!! It's me again,🦁 Anon. I just looked at Glass onion and can I ask for a request for whiskey x reader. The reader was relaxing in the pool with others, and the moment whiskey comes out of the pool, the Reader literally froze and stared at her. The others started joking or making a remark about it until the Reader took Whiskey's hand and dragged her to her room because the Reader got excited.

Can the end be cute and fluffy?

Thank you very much!!!🥺

Speechless

Whiskey x Fem!Cody!Reader

Summary: Your girlfriend is gorgeous, and never fails to make you speechless.

Warnings: Nothing really, just fluff

Word Count: 759

navigation misc. masterlist

---

When you, your brother, and your girlfriend were invited to Miles Bron’s weekend getaway/murder mystery party, you knew you were in for a treat. Miles never failed to astonish, so arriving at his private island housing his massive complex, you couldn’t say you were surprised.

Miles was an eccentric person, so of course the rooms were assigned based off of chakra. You bid your brother and your girlfriend goodbye, and headed towards your room to get ready for the pool.

You throw on some swim trunks, a bikini top, and a hawaiian shirt to wear over it. You check yourself over, seeing that you look good, and head down to the pool to meet up with your friends. 

Making your way down, you see Lionel and Claire already on the side having a conversation. You approach them, and they greet you warmly. 

“Y/N Cody, as I live and breathe! We didn’t have much time to catch up. How is everything? How’re you and Whiskey?” Claire inquires. You go to answer, but are interrupted by Birdie making her grand entrance. 

“Guys. Lionel and Y/N, you guys are too hot to be scientists. And Claire, you look so cute.” You glance over at Lionel, and then you see Claire flipping Birdie off, making you laugh.

“You just gave Bird the bird, Claire-bear.” You exclaim, making Lionel laugh along with you. Claire then glares at you, hating the nickname you had assigned to her. Everyone in your group had a nickname that you had given them, which you always called them.

Claire is Claire-bear, Birdie is Bird, Lionel is Lion, Duke is Dick, Miles is My-My, Peg is Peggy, and Andi is… well, was Cassie. 

While in your own head about Andi, you tune out Birdie and Claire bickering. You finally tune back in when Claire re-asks you the questions from before. “Oh! Y/N, answer the questions from before Birdie interrupted. How is everything? How’re you and Whiskey?”

You smile at the woman, and respond, “Things are good! Lion and I have been absolutely stacked at work, but you know how Miles is. Me and Whiskey are doing amazing.”

Lionel then looks around for your girlfriend. When he doesn’t spot her, he inquires, “Where is your girl, anyway?” You then look around, also not spotting her. You open your mouth to say something, but a clearly not listening Birdie interrupts again.

“God and no masks I can breathe again. Look at this pool, maybe I'll go for a swim.” As soon as she finishes her sentence, your gorgeous girlfriend breaks through the surface of the water gracefully. Your jaw drops, your eyes widen, and you turn bright red.

Lionel and Claire quickly take note of this, and immediately begin teasing you. “Hey, Y/N. You’ve got some drool right there.” Lionel puts his finger on your chin. You immediately slap his hand away, not taking your eyes off of your girlfriend.

Claire calls out to Whiskey, shouting, “Hey Whiskey! I think you broke your girlfriend!” Whiskey glances over at you, smirking at the expression on your face.

“Baby, you okay?” She asks. You say something intelligent like ‘Uh- mhm- yep- so good.’ She laughs and swims towards the stairs leading out of the pool. You quickly get up, not bothering to bid your friends goodbye. You know they won’t mind.

As soon as you make it to where your girlfriend is standing, you grab her hand, yank her out of the pool, and pick her up bridal style before running to your room. She laughs joyfully, and wraps her arms around your neck.

---

Once you reach your shared suite, you shift her so that she is pressed between you and the door. You kissed her intensely, and quickly started to trail them down her neck. You heard her let out a breathy laugh and felt the vibrations in her throat when she asked, “What’s gotten into you, babe?”

You pull back and put your foreheads together, smiling at the woman you loved. “It just always amazes me how you seem to get prettier and prettier every time I look at you.”

Whiskey blushes at that, and pecks your lips again before hopping down from your arms. She grabs your hand and pulls you down onto the bed, making you let out a yelp of surprise. She quickly climbs on top of you. Cuddling into your chest.

You couldn’t be happier than in this moment, on this island, with the people you love. If only you knew how fast it would go to shit.

---

Join my taglist!

#whiskey x reader #whiskey x y/n #whiskey x you #whiskey fluff #duke cody x reader #duke cody x you #duke cody x y/n #glass onion x reader #glass onion x you #glass onion x y/n #gass onion #knives out #whiskey #duke cody #🦁 anon #glass onion: a knives out mystery #whiskey imagine #duke cody imagine #glass onion imagine #knives out imagine

[1bringthesun]

okay i do NOT know how tumblr works so i’m making this new post bcuz someone commented about the Mori comment i made last post so basically i’ll go over a crash course on why i don’t think he’s a pedo!

1) he calls Elise his wife

yup, he says this in an omake of bsd. however, the word he uses in this context is 妻 (tsuma), which is used to mean wife NOW, but meant something more along the lines of “lifelong partner” in the past. he’s being a screwy bastard and trying to toy with Fukuzawa by using a word that means either “wife” or “partner,” but basically he’s trying to see how far he can take it. calling a kid your wife is strange, sure, but calling a kid your partner could really mean anything.

2) he sees Elise naked

tbh i’m not really sure why this one proves anything. he’s trying to put clothes ON her, not take them off. he doesn’t look aroused or anything. actually, he looks… no thoughts brain empty. there’s not a single thought in that head of his at this moment, much less any sexual comments about Elise’s body.

3) Elise is based off of Yosano, Mori was obsessed with Yosano

once again, there’s nothing inherently sexual here. he abused Yosano (not with the intention to hurt her, but with the idea that her mental and physical well-being were a worthy sacrifice for the hundreds of thousands of other lives on the line), he didn’t prey on her? he canonically feels remorseful over Dazai’s lack of will to live, so it’s not too much of a stretch to say he has regrets about Yosano as well. in that case, Elise would represent the petulant and innocent attitude Yosano could have developed instead of her hardened views of the world. i think he sees Elise as a daughter, and i think he regrets not being able to treat Yosano as one either

4) “i prefer those 12 and under”

i’m foggy on the details, but he says something to that effect in a conversation with Kouyou. The context is that she’s calling him a capable boss, to which he replies, “i prefer my subordinates to be younger” (or something…). once again, this isn’t something that strikes me as inherently pedophilic. he likes young subordinates because they are weak and impressionable, and that sort of docile attitude just so happens to fit in well with his pastime of mansplain manipulate malewifing the yokohama underground. anyway, it’s nothing sexual. his organization literally human traffics, and he’s never once stepped in to do strange things to the children on their way to be sold. he couldn’t care less about them, he just wants smart yet dependent and naive underlings. also anyone who read this scene as them flirting is very ill-read in my opinion. they are not flirting. stick your shipping agenda back into fanon interpretation of characters. Mori and Kouyou are girlbossing the entirety of the port mafia together, but they’re not girbossing each other.

5) his character sheet

his character sheet does indeed have “young girls” in the likes category, but let me amend this- the words used are 幼女, aka “maiden.” you might say, “tai, japanese doesn’t differentiate singulars and plurals,” to which i reply, “have we seen him even interacting with woman out of his job?” the answer is no. he basically speaks to Elise and Kouyou, and there’s his female companionship. he’s married to his job, guys. he doesn’t have the time to frolic around with young women. but anyway, it doesn’t say “young girls,” it says “maiden(s)” so just take the plurality in the translation with a grain of salt. it could be referring to one single girl (Elise cough cough) (his daughter cough cough). also please ignore how astoundingly high res this image is.

6) Mori and fukuzawa’s argument

who’s surprised at this point when i say that this was also a mistranslation? not me! Mori says something to the effect of, “are you still fawning over stray cats?” to which Fukuzawa replies “and are you fawning over that girl still?” it was translated, for some inconceivable reason, as “only as much as you fawn over young girls” (or something) which i just don’t understand. yenpress, look me in the eye, this is not you. anyway zenki soukoku beloved.

7) letter to nathaniel

Mori plans on killing nathaniel and margret in the guild arc, right? so he has absolutely zero reason to lie when he sends them a letter saying “i want your ship and also you guys’ lives. thanks uwu” right ????? in the official translation in that letter, he calls Elise his child. idk how much more specific you can get there, chief. Elise is Mori’s daughter, your honor.

is this all i have to say? absolutely not. i could talk my head off about why Mori isn’t a pedo for ages, and i can connect it to “vita sexualis,” “the dancing girl,” Asagiri’s own opinion on Ougai’s legacy as an author and general, the irl Mori and Yosano’s relationship in comparison to the bsd version, and also the opinions of the fans in different languaged-fanbases. unfortunately, it’s way too early for my brain to function, and i now depart to feel the warm embrace of my very own Yoshiko chan. goodbye, tumblr, and i hope you agree with what i’ve said in this long-winded message~~

#mori ougai #elise #bungou stray dogs #rant #spare me please #god i have too many thoughts #someone kill me now #anyway Mori is so pretty and you guys just aren’t ready to handle his swag

[mytvd]

ok, i'm still watching, i've just gotten very ahead of myself and haven't been keeping track of thoughts for every episode. i don't really want to post out of order so everything's in drafts until i feel the holes in.

i was typing thoughts about a much later episode but this bullet point re: stefan vs damon, which turned into "more reasons i like stefan," got super long, so i wanted to post it on its own:

based on my history of engaging with similar media, i should be on the damon train, and stefan should seem really boring to me. but like, he's not that boring!! and a big part of why he chooses to be good (ie, boring) is because of his history of being a murdering psycho (even though even in ripper mode he wasn't really having fun, as evidenced by his corpse reassembly). maybe it's an age thing and maybe if i had watched this as a teen (i mean, impossible because of it when it aired) i would prefer stefan -- i know i found peeta boring in the books/movies at first, because i wasn't going to like teen drama media for like, thoughtful characters and ptsd healing and stuff -- but at this point in time, lol, i just love seeing his consistent patience, gentleness, and general respect for women on a tv show. a popular mainstream tv show!!! like, he treats not just elena with respect, but all of her friends, even before he gets to know them, and he never "objectifies them until he gets to know them better" as happens a lot in other teen media -- he starts out respecting them from the beginning. sooooo much of the time on tv/in movies, women characters have to be considered hot/attractive (particularly by the men characters) first and foremost to have value, and whatever other qualities they possess are secondary and only valued because their hotness means they deserve a closer look or a chance to prove themselves. i mean, there aren't really any non-hot people around (which really destroys the "southern small town" illusion) to observe this with, lol, but at least on this show, a man in the main cast treats all the women with respect, even when there's no concrete benefit for him to do so, even when no one else (ie, his girlfriend) is watching. he sees something worth getting to know in almost anyone he encounters (which is in line with his journaling habit) and he doesn't see people as expendable, even though their lives are so short compared to his, and he can't really rely on people being in his life long-term. i am honestly kind of surprised stefan has remained so consistent in this way, even as the show continues to brutalize women (of all ages, lol, and elena back-to-back-to-back) and kill them off in spades. like, the writing has obviously gotten worse and worse over time, and stefan has had some poorly-written moments for sure that felt like they bent the universe in order to make the plot more convenient instead of digging deeper to make the story make sense, but on the whole, his character is pretty consistent, and he has the ability to evolve/change (like being unable to be in a relationship with elena, but still being in her life [without being a lil bitch about it, like damon is within moments of their breakup], and still caring about all of her friends/the people that are only in his life because of her). i literally haven't seen paul wesley in anything else so i have no handle on his acting abilities outside of this show (although i think he does a great job on this show), but of course the performance adds a lot, but i mean, unless paul wesley is making script changes on set, lol, it's just kind of interesting how consistent the character has been written [most of the time] compared to other parts of the show.

**note: i'm only on season 5 and also outside of really the one vpd youtube video and princess weekes's excellent confederate vampires vid i really have zero idea what like, popular opinions about these characters are, lol, and i'm trying not to read anything until i'm done with the show

**edit: i'm halfway through season 6 and as soon as he was shown lying to ivy i regretted posting this but he had a good run, especially compared to most of the other characters on this show

#vampire diaries #the vampire diaries #tvd #vpd #thought break

[mllermanda]

KND COMMUNITY QUESTIONS CHALLENGE

Found this from user @arudan and wanted to take my shot at it since it's been an long while since I talked about KND (Aka Codename Kids Next Door)

When did you start watching the show?

Based on my memory, I remembered watching the show around 2002/2003 so right at the very beginning. I remembered watching a lot of the show when it came out and have a lot of vivid memories with the older seasons so with my calculations in mind, I would had been around 5-6 years old. Damn.

Favorite season?

Uh with that said, none of the seasons for me felt out of place at all and have their good and bad ones. Even when re-watching the series over again, I don't have one that stands out to mind. So in this case, all of the seasons are my favorite.

Favorite episode?

Remembered seeing this episode when it first came out and it's still an core memory to me which now looking it up, I did not realize it was an Season 6 episode and thought it was earlier; Operation: G.I.R.L.F.R.I.E.N.D.. It was one of the only episodes that has surprised me personally and affected how I view Nigel/Lizzie since I'll be honest, I thought their fate would be similar to 2/5 and 4/3.

Honorable mentions that I want to add here are Operation: S.P.R.O.U.T. (The humor with Numbuh 4 "dying" from eating healthy an A+ for me), Operation: L.I.Z.Z.I.E. (The relationships between the 1st couple in question with the other members of Sector V was very interesting and the dynamic in the episodes where fun), Operation: M.A.U.R.I.C.E. (Maurice is an good character and he makes the episode pretty solid along with an Number 5 themed episode which is always nice), Operation: N.A.U.G.H.T.Y. (Solid holiday episode that I have most memory off since I owned it on DVD and it reminds me how much I like the series), Operation: T.H.E.-F.L.Y. (Really liked the different format they went for the episode for the fly and its nice to learn more about Sector V just based on visuals and music), and Operation: C.A.T.S. (Mr.Huggykins is the star of this episode)

Hated episode?

There's a couple of episodes in mind that I don't like cause it's forgettable or cause an character is annoying but at least the top two that come in mind that I don't really like is Operation: T.R.I.C.Y.C.L.E. and Operation: L.E.A.D.E.R. Due to Lizzie and Tommy (episodes in question featuring them as more important than normal) they become really annoying to watch.

Honorable mentions that I'm adding are, Operation: P.O.O.L. (Mainly cause they tried to make Numbuh 2 Alternative version funny when he's not); Operation: C.A.B.L.E.-T.V. (For the Baby jokes); Operation: W.H.I.T.E.H.O.U.S.E. (Forgettable); Operation: B.U.T.T. (Weird but even then, not that memorable either)

Favorite character?

Easily, Numbuh 5 as the best for me though generally I love most of the cast in the series. Still hold an nice nostalgia to me and can watch each of the main members greatly as each of them have solid episodes as main characters.

Did you cry when you watch OP INTERVIEWS?

I did got sad when seeing it as its an strong episode on its own though I was more sad of losing my nice dreams with the series since it was an obvious final episode.

Funniest moment?

Numbuh 4 with his anger with Rainbow Monkeys are an relatable yet fun treat for me. he's definitely the most comedic to me when it comes with the humor of the show in regards towards his reactions towards things, his answers with certain questions and his general demeanor.

Other funny moments in the show is in regards with the reactions the adults and kids make towards certain characters when they do an dumb action/ say something obviously stupid, Henrich as an character has humorous moments that I enjoy too and Ed, Edd n Eddy cameo appearance in The Grim Adventures of the KND as they were most respectful towards Sector V and summarized what they do perfectly in an harsh yet funny manner.

Saddest moment?

When the show ended since my dreams disappeared.

Otherwise though, it's hard to say that its not the moments that are sad, it's what happens afterwards or what happens in the show that makes it sadder for me.

Examples of this being but not limited too:

Lizzie and Nigel breaking up with each other (Long term it makes sense that they break up but it's how it happens that makes it sad)

In Operation: G.R.O.W.-U.P. at the very end when Father gets dumped in cold ice-cream and is just shiving on the ground while Sector V cheers that they defeated the bad guy. While I'll be honest, its funny how messed up that is in hindsight and even though he is the villain in that episode (and in the series) it was still sad and the delivery the voice actor and animators did with it was excellent.

For Numbuh 3 in the episode Operation: N.A.U.G.H.T.Y. on how she's the only one out of the group that considers giving gifts while everyone else forgets. I can relate to her in that sense and just felt bad for her for the episode with that in mind. Even with the present that Numbuh 4 gives her (which is sad in general cause it's not even full fries, it's like 4 out of the whole thing) , it's lucky that Numbuh 3 saw it more as an nice thing than I did.

The final episode for it ended with an follow up to an sequel series that was unfortunately never created. Along with the unknown fate that the Delightful Children from Down the Lane ended up having.

Operation: Z.E.R.O. for learning about how the Delightful Children from Down the Lane ended up the way they did.

Favorite KND artist?

This is hard to pick since weirdly enough I do not follow many KND artists despite liking the series myself. I think it's one of those things that I don't interact with the fandom much so I had to think on it.

At least where it stands it's an tie between these three (Using Instagram to find them faster though I do know they all having different socials too)

Instagram user @numbuh_97

Instagram user @pennywhistle444

Instagram user @danishi8785

Favorite canon KND ship?

Lizzie/Nigel even though 3/4 and 2/5 are favorites as well. All three ships had a lot of focus in the series that showed different aspects of the type of people they like and how they handle each other which was nice to learn.

Favorite headcanon KND ship?

N/A since I don't usually have headcanons for ships.

What’s one thing you love about the fandom?

The fanart produced by people all around and the different ideas that get from watching the same content. Sometimes I don't agree with the fanart but it's nice to look at. The fanfictions with fandoms are pretty nice too though I rarely read it and don't read any from this series.

What’s one thing you hate about the fandom?

Can not say much for this fandom since I am not an active member but more information on this will be seen down below with this question: What’s one thing you wish would stop in the fandom?

Do you wish there were more die hard KND fans in the fandom?

Since I am not active I can not answer this full-heartly. However, if there was more fanart of the series that was easier to find, then yeah, that would be nice.

When did you start drawing KND art?

Middle school I believe and even then, most of those were private to self. Otherwise publicly posting it, early high school so like three years later.

How old were you when you started drawing KND art?

Redundant question as this would mean I would be around 11-12 when I started (middle school)

How old are you now and are you still drawing KND art?

Currently 26 years old but have not drawn KND art. Real answer is just no motivation to do so but want to try again (hopefully it can happen) I think the reason why I'm more scared of drawing from this show than some of the other ones I do is cause of my judgemental attitude with myself and feel like how inaccurate it is toward the character. That mixed with insecurities and commitment issues towards drawing the series.

What’s one thing you wish would stop in the fandom?

Hard to say that I'm not an active member in the KND fandom but I think in general, I wish people would not become hive-minds and attack others with no evidence. Malicious people with intended good intentions tend to be more harmful than they realized and will attack you at good timing, especially if you let them know your schedule ahead of time.

I have seen this a lot with various of other fandoms and touchy with from myself due to past experiences with an different fandom. Too scared to interact much from any fandom now cause of this issue and it sucks cause it fuels my trust issues I have in the first place.

Quick pick your favorite 2x4?

The weapon that covers people in hot sauce is the first that comes into mind (S.P.I.C.E.R.) Though in reality with really thinking about it, my favorite 2x4 technology is C.O.O.L.B.U.S or P.O.W.U.H.P.A.C.K since both seem useful.

What’s your Codename?

Uh, hard to say since I don't use one currently. For now, just for harmless fun it will be Codename N/A.

#codename knd #codename kids next door #KND COMMUNITY QUESTIONS CHALLENGE #text post #favorites #knd

[missielynne]

If you had to choose (and I'd love to hear why!)...

Spuffy or Klaroline?

CBS Ghosts or BBC Ghosts?

Jay or Mike?

Sam or Alison?

BtVS or AtS?

Charmed or The Vampire Diaries?

have fun!!

Spuffy or Klaroline? (Although Spuffy definitely had their funny, fuzzy moments, it seemed like Spuffy was much more of a fight than Klaroline was. Like Buffy fought too much re her attraction to him compared to what Caroline did with Klaus, which made Klaroline more entertaining and easy to watch.)

CBS Ghosts or BBC Ghosts? (While I do love both, I prefer CBS because it has the time and willingness to lean into its extraordinary premise more than BBC, which relies much more on ordinary day to day and treats its ghosts by and large more like living people than ghosts in spite of the show's title.)

Jay or Mike? (Similar reasoning to why I love CBS more: it has the time to turn Jay into a real fleshed out character who has his own relationship with the Woodstone ghosts compared to Mike, although my favorite ep of BBC, Bump in the Night, does a really good job showing that if BBC had the time or the inclination, they could do something with Mike and the ghosts that would be so endearing and funny. I wanted more for sure!)

Sam or Alison? (Yet again, love both, and I am prefacing this by saying that I don't think Alison is a heartless or uncaring person and she DOES love her ghosts for sure, but just based on what we see, Sam is just naturally more open and ghost-friendly compared to Alison). I mean Alison and Kitty have the sweetest most caring relationship on BBC, the sort of relationship that Sam has with everyone on CBS. Sam is just allowed to give me more than Alison is.

BtVS or AtS?: Considering how long it took me to watch AtS because I thought Angel would be all broody and sad like he was on Buffy, I am so surprised this is my answer. But not really. I love that they allowed him to be funny and awkward on his own show and his dynamic with Cordy and Doyle at the beginning, and Cordy and the others later is just priceless. He and Cordy play off one another so well and I definitely love him more with her than with Buffy.

Charmed or The Vampire Diaries? Definitely Charmed because it gets to be its own thing to me and I can love it for what it is, whereas I read the TVD books before I watched the show and the changes between the two just didn't really make the show better for me.

This was so fun! Thank you, Nonnie!

#missielynne's awesome anon

[mrs-gauche]

So, on the new cinematic that was published yesterday, without going into a deep analysis here (because people have already done an amazing job at dissecting every piece of visual/symbolism, like the Golden/Black City, what appears to be the origin of the Blight, the recurring symbols in the seven semi-circle spheres/Evanuris imagery in Trespasser etc etc), I just want to write down some of my general thoughts that I had already put in the tags under the video, but there are also a few things I'd like to add. 🙂

Ok, so generally speaking, this cinematic is basically a recap for anyone who hasn’t played Trespasser/ is new to the series / doesn’t remember every single detail from a game that came out almost a decade ago. I always wondered how they were going to (re-)introduce new people to the lore and the big revelations that were sadly concealed in a DLC and after giving it some thought, I’m actually very pleased with the way they’re doing it. 😁

So in regards to Solas, this is everything you need to know before going into the game. (Though I still try to look at this from the perspective of someone who’s only played the DAI base game and therefore only knows the after credits scene with Solas and Flemeth.. So you would still be kinda lost about as to how Varric even knows about all this stuff with the creation of the Veil/what Solas plans to do and all that, so.. I would hope this still gets addressed in some form, especially if fan speculations turn out true and there will be a ten year timeskip since Inquisition, so regardless of Trespasser, in any case, it would be nice to learn what the Inquisition has been up to these past ten years. lol)

So for anyone who is now like "Ugh, another trailer about Solas?? Don't we had enough???", I get it, I really do, but I also need you to understand that this is *not* another trailer, it's an in-game cinematic, probably part of the very beginning of the game and I feel like people tend to forget that the majority of players will NOT be people like us, who have been sitting here analyzing every single frame and syllable of new content under a microscope for the past eight years. 😂

Most people who've played Inquisition maybe once or twice a decade ago will maybe have a vague memory of who Solas or the Dread Wolf are and what his story is. Of course we know all this stuff, but that's the point, it's supposed to be a recap of everything you need to know before going into the game.

Though I can understand why you would be frustrated that they chose to show this as yet another part of marketing that's solely centered around him. (Heck, even I as a fan of his character am honestly surprised how much focus there is 😂) But even though BioWare’s blog post ended with the phrase "close out this year with a little treat", the fact that this was now a general "reintroduction" to the lore, gives me a little hope that they might not wait another couple of months now to show something new, since this is still fresh in people's minds. They're building momentum and I would hope they would use this to kick off the marketing for a wider audience (and the Game Awards are by far the biggest platform to show something).

That being said, let’s talk about the visuals for a second!

Simply put, they’re drop dead gorgeous! As expected from the great Nick Thornborrow, who also did Solas’ frescoes in DAI (and who sadly left BioWare some time ago). The art style and the way it’s presented/animated reminds me a lot of DAO’s intro or those transitional scenes between acts in DA2 or even those little animation bits from the Keep (which were also narrated by Varric!). So it’s definitely true to the DA formula/getting back to the roots even. lol

So even for those of us who knew about all this stuff, it was still amazing to see it visualized and summed up in such a beautful way. And additionally, it contained hints and symbolism that seem to confirm everything I’ve been thinking for the past seven years. lol (Again, not getting into details here, because people have already done a far better job than I could do to explain all that. 😂) I loved how the visuals transitioned seemlessly into the each other with gorgeously smooth animation! I also love how you’re getting almost blinded by the way it’s portraying the destruction of the Veil. lol Like, it get’s all dark and quiet for a second and then BOOM, spotlight ON lmao, I was instantly reminded of Sandal’s prophecy in DA2, when he’s like “The shadows will part and the skies will open wide, when he rises”.

But we also need to talk about the music and the sound design, because GOSH, this was so GOOD!

I would highly recommend listening to this thing with head phones, because WOW, there are so many different little components build into this one minute track, it’s amazing!! I looove how the music starts off with this anticipation and a single violin and then shifts into this more ominous melody supported by these faint “marching to war�� drums when the visuals transition from sun to moon/Solas to Fen’Harel, like the music perfectly encapsulates this feeling of ambiguity, like he’s neither a villain or a hero, and it’s up to you what to believe.

Then there’s that beautiful wolf howling in the back right as Varric says “Dread Wolf”, before the music gets more sinister, followed by this big booming “shutting the gate” sound when the Veil is formed and whatever you call that sound of magic as the gods are sealed away and this creepy whispering as the shadows are slowly spreading from the Black City and consuming everything, when it gets all quiet. And then, if you’re wearing head phones, you get knocked off your feet by that enormous explosion sound as the Veil is shattered, like you can practically FEEL the impact of this wold-altering magic in your bones. lol And then the music culminates in this grand dramatic orchestral piece that is SO reminiscent of Inquisition’s main theme??

And as the title is shown and the music breaks up, there’s that simple melody again played by this traditional string instrument (I’m no expert, but it reminds of like, ancient greek?) that was also in the 2020 teaser trailer!

Like, huge props to whoever did the sound design and I can’t wait to find out who does the score! <333

Lastly, can we talk about how Varric’s talking in the PAST tense, when saying “But now, he wanted to tear down that Veil, and destroy the world”??

It almost sounds like whatever Solas wanted to do, something happened, but as always, it didn’t go the way he intended and now we have to deal with the consequences? lol It sounds like that line was cut off too soon there, like Varric was going to add something like "But now he wanted to tear down that Veil and destroy the world.... but he f*cked up spectacularly (again) and now we have to clean up his mess." 😂

So are we maybe already playing in a post-Veil world right from the start? I hope not, because I would have loved to actually SEE how Solas tore down that Veil? 😂 It makes me think that maybe this narration isn't the final version and it will end up being different in the game, like this was edited for marketing purposes/to avoid spoilers? lol

Also, again like in the 2020 teaser trailer, I wonder who Varric is even talking to? Who is "we"? And why are WE "the only ones who can stop him"? What is it about "us" that's able to stop him?

Also, I've seen people saying he's holding a wand in that last visual? 😂

Guys, for seven years I've been trying to mentally (and emotionally) prepare myself that Solas (like all returning characters in any BioWare game) is going to look significantly different in a sequel that’s released a decade from the previous one, and my biggest fear remains that he's gonna look like Voldemort with a nose, so I can't say I'm overly thrilled at the prospect of seeing him walking around with a damn wand. 😂

Though I’m curious if it’s like some other people are saying and it could also be a weapon/blade like the one that was produced by the red lyrium idol in Tevinter Nights/the Blue Wraith comics? 👀

(But to be completely honest, my main takeaway from this whole thing was actually “OMG, they kept the CAPE for Solas’ ancient elven armor design from the early concept art???” lmaoo I was sure they got rid of it after seeing the 2020 teaser trailer. lol I’m sorry, but for those who don’t know me, I’m the biggest sucker for capes and coats in character design 😂 Give me ALL the capes! All of them!! Edna Mode hates me. lol)

Anyway, this is all I’ve got for the moment, I’m super thrilled! Even though I totally get everyone who desperately wants to see something other than Solas lol, if only to finally get a sense of confirmation after such a long time that there’s a game that’s actually.. real and playable, you know. 😂 Though tbh, I think I’ll only be able to fully realize this the moment we get an actual cinematic trailer with in-game footage and stuff. lol Fingers crossed (and clown wig ready) for the Game Awards! 😁

#da4 #dragon age 4 #solas

[mermaidsirennikita]

I enjoy reading your reviews, because I share almost entirely the same taste in books as you, and have a very high threshold for Badly Behaved men and Unlikeable Women. Plus. Sierra Simone and Kresley Cole.

Now, I belong to a book group of women who, in most things, seem to have a high threshold for impolite topics of conversation. However, my appreciation of the genre of romance has been treated as an ongoing, wave-of-the-hand, humorous pasttime for a while by my friends.

So...one of the women in book group read "The Love Hypothesis" and (she was surprised) she liked it a lot and after talking, the whole of my book group wanted me to choose _any_ romance novel I want for Februrary. This is a first in ten years. They want a contemporary. And it is to be "spicy". Honestly. Though. Love Hypothesis spicy isn't, well, very spicy. Given the shit I read. There's one woman in the group - after we read Lessons in Chemistry - who remarked that it was all tied up too clean at the end. She "likes the European movie endings". I guess tragic. This woman jokes about my "bodice rippers" laughingly all the time. Honestly. I love her but she doesn't get the genre at all and I worry that the "happy ending" requirement will feel "too tidy" to her and secretly I want to throttle her for discounting a genre that (to me) has some incredibly progressive and boundary pushing work being done by women/BIPOC/LGBTQ+ authors for the same audience. Also secretly - I want to choose a book that makes her eat her words.

SO. I'm wondering if you have any go-to contemporary fiction romance recommendations for reticent/new/romance-curious women? I have been racking my brain and came up with The Soulmate Equation (which isn't my fave of CLos but I don't think my fave is "clean" enough for this crowd). Or. Georgie All Along. Then I thought that maybe KA Tuckers The Simple Wild might do it?

Sigh. I'm stumped.

Thank you for reaching out! I am happy to hear from someone who gets it, lol. And I can definitely sympathize; for me, there's always someone who dismisses the books I read as pornography~ or just not Serious. The thing is, I can absolutely enjoy and value tragedies (The Godfather Part I and II are in fact my favorite movies). And I won't write it all off as emotional torture porn. But romance enjoyers are always forced to defend the work we read and prove that it has merit, right?

Georgie, All Along is a really solid choice for beginners. I will say, if you haven't read Love, Theoretically, you might want to put that up on the block as the one person already read and enjoyed TLH--it's definitely hotter than TLH (but still not too hot--I think there's an oral/digital scene and two-ish p in v scenes), and there's some interesting lore for discussion about Ali Hazelwood admitting that her agent suggested her cutting the sex down for TLH (compared to the original fanfic it was based on). I also found its examination of the physics "debates" and the grayer issues in academia (especially re: mentorship and blacklisting) really good.

I would definitely recommend considering Kennedy Ryan! She writes a fucking beautiful contemporary, and it's always hot, and it's always very complex morally. My faaavorite books of hers are the Kingmaker duology, but those definitely veer into more romance-y OTT territory (hero is the son of a billionaire, there are presidential elections involved, kidnapping happens). It's fucking 10/10, but might be a lot for newbies. I believe Queen Move, which is a spinoff of that series, is a little more approachable--the heroine is a high level campaign manager, and the hero is her childhood friend she got separated from. They reconnect at her dad's funeral, but she believes he's still with his child's mother (he's not). Both of the leads are Black, and Kimba's identity as a Black woman is really crucial to the novel, as is how that interacts with the hero's identity as a biracial Black man. Definitely on the hotter side, as is Kennedy Ryan's way.

Another one from Kennedy that's gotten a lot of play recently is probably the closest to women's fiction I've read from her is Before I Let Go--it's another Black romance, and it's about a couple who are co-parenting after divorcing, which itself following the stillbirth of their third child. It's really, really emotional, and it touches on issues like communication, therapy (and masculinity), and it's very fair all around to supporting characters... like the woman the hero tries to move on with, for example. Also? Hot, but not quite as intense as QM.

If they're open to queer romance, I will plug Heated Rivalry by Rachel Reid. Y'all can talk about the recent hockey romance scandals~ lol while reading the best hockey romance ever, which is somehow NOT getting the play it deserves? It's m/m, rivals to lovers, the heroes begin a casual fuckbuddy thing that lasts on the low for YEARS. It's very much a "vibes" romance that is heavy heavy heavy on the character development, which makes it lovely. Ilya is maybe my favorite bi rep ever, he's like sexy but also very perceptive and a good examination of the "slutty hero", imo. Shane is also amazing; he's less comfortable with his sexuality, but it's not a typical case of "man is toxically masculine", which I found refreshing. There is a lot to his internalized homophobia than the standard. And... it's hot, I won't lie, lol. But I think the juxtaposition of sex v emotional development is a great way of communicating why explicit sex scenes are important in some books. You realize they're falling in love as the way they have sex shifts.

A possible recent release that harkens back to the classic romcom (still critically revered, so maybe they'll like comparing them on a srs level, and for the Ali Hazelwood reader, this is by a friend/former cohort of Ali's) is You, Again by Kate Goldbeck. It's a contemporary update on the WHMS formula, but this time the "Sally" is a quiet male chef who's obsessed with the idea of finding the one and settling down, and the "Harry" is a bisexual standup comedian who met him while they were fucking the same girl, lol. The relationship is a slow burn and builds up perfectly--you really buy them falling for each other, and there are some really clever subversions of the gender norms in m/f romance. It's a love letter to a golden era of romcoms, and it's very hot but doesn't have too many sex scenes (2, I think, nothing crazy).

The Art of Scandal by Regina Black may also be their speed. The heroine is the local mayor's wife whose husband is trying to run for something bigger when she finds out he's been cheating on her. The marriage was already meeeeh because she felt like her (white) husband was using her Blackness for political capital, which is a very real issue the book explores. She makes this connection with a young (26 to her 37) artist, and they have immediate chemistry--and though she agrees with her husband that she'll stay with him for the time being, there's this real temptation. It's written in a way that's way more literary than it may sound, and though there is sex on the page, it's a little softer and more dialed back--more on a Kate Clayborn level, versus a Sierra level, lol. It has enough drama to keep you interested, but I really loved the way it went into issues like respectability (for her) and machismo (for him--the hero is Latino, and his relationship with his father is written in a way that really doesn't pull any punches emotionally).

Jana Goes Wild by Farah Heron is one I just read and loved--it's definitely on the softer side of steamy (one open door sex scene) but it's like, so fun and compelling. It's more of a romcom than a drama, but it does delve into some serious stuff, especially re: the heroine's relationship with her mother and her own need to trust and forgive, as well as slut-shaming. But again, it's very fun, and the heroine's relationships with her friends are big aspects that I appreciated. It's basically "what if Jane Fairfax and Frank Churchill from Emma hooked up in the modern era and had to co-parent". She falls hard, finds out he's still married, gets pregnant, has to co-parent with him, then they end up in the same wedding party in Tazania, with their four year old in tow.

Pride and Protest by Nikki Payne is one you can pitch as a contemporary Pride and Prejudice remix, in which Lizzie is a Black activist and Darcy is a Filipino billionaire who is very literally her opposition. It has great send-ups of P&P, and it's definitely hot without being OTT. The politics are super relevant to right here, right now, and it's really not easy to find an interracial romance that doesn't involve a white person. For sure a good discussion book, especially if they have familiarity with P&P. I think there are 2ish sex scenes, one that's oral and one that's p in v.

If you're feeling a little more daring, I love The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang. The heroine is on the autism spectrum and feels the pressure from her mom to settle down, but she also has never had bad sex and due to... culture, and the way her autism has been treated by people in her life, she thinks it's a her issue. She hires a sex worker to teach her how to be good at it, but he is LOVELY and is like, um, let's work to making you feel comfortable. Great on the emphasis on sexual pleasure and imo, it handles sex work well. The author also is on the spectrum, and the hero connects to her in a representational sense as well as he, like the author, is of Vietnamese descent. Definitely on the hotter side, but still not insane, imo.

Good luck! I hope that whatever you choose, they approach it with open minds--and I hope they get that the genre is more than they realize.

#romance novel blogging #book recs

[the-nysh]

How I imagine Garou before getting his new hero job:

"Alright youngman, right now you have 2 options:

1.- You can run for the rest of your life, becoming an outlaw trying to escape your past mistakes until the day those caught up to you"

Graou: "Definitely not the first one"

"2.- You have to go for a rehabilitation period, write an apology and enroll as an official pro hero in Silver Fang's instead"

Garou: "Okay, let re-check the first one"

Well good luck to those who'd try to force him into a box adhering to their rules or policies he might not agree with, or by threatening/blackmailing him to do things he might not want to do either (he's not likely to put up with that; he didn't like it when the MA ordered him to do things either, so if the HA tries anything funny like that on him too - either inhibiting him or against what he actually wants to achieve and fight for, they’ll unfortunately seem no different to him than the MA, by either enforcing their will on him or deciding what’s best for him without his say...cause even unconsciously he doesn’t like to be bound by chains.)

So there's always option 3: continue to stay at Bang's place to perfect his own style and inherit the dojo one day, to help empower and pave the way for more weak kids in the future (while being an independent vigilante or something on the side, since he can still 'be a hero' without needing a registered license for it based on what other people say. Saitama & Tareo already see him a hero anyway; no ‘pro’ label or rank necessary. Plus there’s a whole separate theme/issue about real heroes being unknown and thankless, while ‘fake’ heroes - esp the upcoming Neo Heroes, are employed/licensed with more free rein to be violent thugs, just because they’re seen/trusted as ‘good,’ which yup, Garou doesn’t like.)

...But honestly with Bang's recommendation, the HA might really go ahead and register Garou anyway (without his knowledge?) and bypass much of their typical selection process in their haste to fill more members. In that case Bang's 'rehabilitation period' might also be another part of 'the test' since the HA keeps a close watch on persons of interest anyway - and if Sitch sees Garou's worthy good enough to help defend humanity, then he'll be right on it. But we'll see how it really goes~

(Part 2) I feel like Garou may possible have several fans once he becomes a hero (unlike Saitama)... And maybe someone like Mumen Rider would say something like: "Coming Rookie, we have a lot of work to do" And Garou would follow him reluctantly and most likely, because he is one of the only heroes that may forgive him and not treat him like an outsider/bullying him.

It’s possible Garou already has a handful of fans he doesn’t know of - beyond Tareo, all those citizens who cheered and thanked him before. :’D It wouldn’t surprise me if more come out of the woodwork beyond his expectations! (We’ll have to see how much the televised footage comes to affect his public reputation!)

And Mumen is a good soul - I’d expect he’d be one of the few who’re quite forgiving and mayhaps sympathetic/welcoming. :’3 But when it comes to work - as we saw how Garou took charge (it was him coming up with plans and barking orders heh) when interacting with Metal Bat & Saitama - Garou has more potential to be a hero leader than a follower. And he’ll only reluctantly ‘follow’ someone (with his tsun excuses like for Bang) if he actually wants to be there. :’3 But the more people who can appreciate him for who he is (and with actual kindness - cause it’s important to him that good heroes are kind), the better~ 

(Part 3) You think Amai Mask would bully Garou a lot more that he already does with the others heroes? Because, let's be honest, he is an asshole.With everyone. And I can't just help but looking forward to their interactions between almost all the S class heroes.

Once Sweet Mask finds out, he’ll likely have a LOT to say. Since he’s always on the lookout for that ideal ‘idol’ representation of a hero - to become that in his stead....so honestly there’s a lot for him and Garou to potentially argue/talk about concerning that topic. And SM can’t afford any leeway or lapses in judgment when it concerns anything to do with ‘monsters’......but it also depends, because he won’t have any time or grounds to ‘bully’ or confront Garou once his own identity is exposed....cause he’ll be preoccupied with his own ruined reputation and difficult situation.

(Part 4) Garou...Fights heroes sending them to the hospital and tries to become absolute evil...Ends up becoming one of the most efficient pro heroes and saves a lot of lives in the progress.~. SAITAMA 😝

And that’s the biggest irony, isn’t it? 8′D He originally set out to be the ‘villain’ to change the story and fix the problems he observed in the world....only to end up putting in the arduous, self-sacrificing work eliminating the world’s most dangerous threats and saving everybody as a hero. :P hah. Right into a potential job. All that’s left is supporting his strengths/passions to grow in the right (healthier and more authentic) direction, and encouraging how he comes to see and value himself to become ‘official.’ :’3 

#opm #garou #raccoon-puppy #replies #whoa that was a long string of asks #but they were all concerning garou 'on the job' so i put them together

[thegunlady]

Movies I watched in 2022

I kept track of this last year and it was fun, so I'm doing it again! I realize literally no one asked, but here is an extremely long and pointless rundown of every movie I watched this year. Complete with commentary and IMDB links. For posterity or whatever.

As before, I counted movies I'd already seen, but I didn't double up on movies I watched more than once in 2022 - which happened a fair amount as I am a serial re-watcher and comfort-movie-haver. I also didn't include a handful of movies that I put on as background noise while doing other things and didn't truly Watch.

January:

1. Zombieland (2009) - Okay the CGI is pretty freaking bad. But it's still a funny and cleverly-executed take on a zombie movie that holds up pretty well 13 years later.

2. Zombieland: Double Tap (2019) - This is pretty much exactly what you want from a sequel - more of the same with the whole main cast returning, but taken a little bit further with lots of callbacks. It was perfectly fun, but just a little too silly for me I think.

3. Brazen (2022) - Imagine my surprise when I played some new Netflix crime thriller on a whim only to discover that it's based on a romance novel from the '80s that I've actually read! I didn't even make the connection until the opening credits, despite the title and the trailer. Anyway, this movie was...almost good? Like the pieces were there, but it came off pretty much daytime soap.

4. Collide (2016) - This is another case of a movie thinking it was gonna be much cooler than it was—as evidenced by the all-star cast despite some pretty shaky writing—but tbh it was still pretty cool? I love a car movie, and I love a heist movie, and I love an action adventure that centers on a love story (although I dock points for fridging).

5. Kiki's Delivery Service (1989) - Guess who just saw this for the first time? It was me! But clearly this movie is charming at any age. It's the very definition of sweet and lovely, and the animation style is so beautiful (of course). Also Jiji is everything!!!

6. Mission: Impossible (1996) - I LOVE these movies. I'd forgotten that the first movie is really more of a classic cold war spy thriller, with a lot of intrigue and heisting and not so much action. Which I think is so smart and so much more compelling. I had a blast.

7. Mission: Impossible II (2000) - I know this movie has always been lauded as the terrible, outlier Mission Impossible movie that no one likes—and I agree that it's a hard deviation from the rest in terms of style and it IS objectively the worst of the bunch—but I really enjoyed it. More than I remembered. It has some glaring issues, but sometimes you just want to watch Tom Cruise driving a motorcycle through fire in slow motion from 3 camera angles, or doing the same backflip kick move 7 times, also in slow motion, and that's VALID.

8. Mission: Impossible III (2006) - Are you sensing a theme here? I think this might be my favorite M:I movie. It's really stylish and slick without being too over the top, and I LOVE a macguffin as the story engine of an adventure film! It keeps things simple and leaves room for more character stuff—which this movie does a pretty decent job of. Also talk about your great villains.

February:

9. Nightmare Alley (1947) - Spooky and atmospheric and compelling and fun! What is it about vintage carnivals? It's just THE vibe. Curious to see how the new adaptation holds up.

10. Nightmare Alley (2021) - Naturally, GDT's version of this movie is a spectacular visual treat, and leans in to the Fucked Up Magical Realism of it all in a way that really works for the story. But this version is WAY too long and monologue-y, with more added detail than truly necessary. It also leapfrogs over the 'fun and games' bit of screenwriting structure that really made the first movie sing, imho. It's a cool film, but I enjoyed watching the original a lot more.

11. Book of Love (2022) - This shit was so cute! Also, in a scathing indictment of modern cinema, I was shocked to discover that this isn't even an adaptation of anything! It was a clever and lovely and original romance that gets bonus points for being fairly bilingual - not entirely, but they actually do a good job of having characters who are native Spanish speakers actually speak Spanish with subtitles when talking to each other. I wish it had a little more of an epilogue though. Which I could say about so many stories, but especially romcoms. I'm going to become a youtuber JUST so I can make a video essay about the importance of showing the status quo change at the end of a story!!!

12. The Hating Game (2021) - I realize I'm completely biased by my preexisting affinity for the novel, but this movie is so much fun!! And, as I've said before, a really faithful adaptation! It's extremely silly and has a few writing issues, especially in the second half, but I don't care I love it.

13. Plus One (2019) - I LOVED this movie when it came out but I only saw it the once so I was curious to see if I'd still love it a whole pandemic later—and I do! It's fun and banter-y and, imho, a good example of a comedy that is about people who are actually funny, like, as part of their personality. Rather than essentially blank people who "funny" things happen to, like so many romcoms.

14. A Long Way Down (2014) - Aww, this movie was lovely! It's not a super original concept but a good one, and executed well. A stellar cast and just a great...well, not quite found family story, but it has similar beats and I like that it's about something slightly more than that. Also Aaron Paul and Imogen Poots should play love interests in all the movies. This is the second one I've seen and they're so cute.

15. Austenland (2013) - The perfect, confectionary Valentine's Day treat! Not that there's ever a bad time to watch this absolute GEM. It's bonkers and adorable and so much fun.

16. I Want You Back (2022) - Nothing earth-shattering but I think the characterization of the two mains was actually kind of poignant and nuanced. Also Jenny Slate is hilarious always. Why am I watching so many romantic comedies? Is it because it's Valentine's month and that's where my brain and also the Algorithm™ are pointing? Super probably. Anyway.

March:

17. West Side Story (2021) - I'm honestly not sure we really needed another adaptation of this. And this one was extremely long. But I always love a musical, it has to be said, and this one was no exception. I really love the look of it - how they made it look like kind of a cross between an actual stage play, and those detailed, built facades that were movie sets back when the original movie came out. I also love how they lit and composed every scene between Tony and Maria to make it look dreamy and incredible and highlight how they were in their own little world, and then dropped the dreamy lighting and framing as soon as their moment was over.

18. Star Trek (2009) - I just listened to the episode of Beyond the Screenplay about this movie and I was intrigued by so much of their conversation on how it ties into and diverts from the original series. It was fun to watch this movie through that lens. Also just so many charming performances.

19. Star Trek Into Darkness (2013) - I mean I watched one, so it only made sense to watch the next. It was almost equally fun! Although I was not inspired to watch the third movie, so.

20. Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021) - Geez Louise this movie hit me unexpectedly. I was anticipating multiverse spider-man(s) hi-jinx which I DID get and it was SO GOOD, but there was less than I'd hoped, and this movie is ultimately pretty fucking bleak. It's clearly designed to set up Multiverse of Madness so I guess they can undo or redo anything they want, but oof. I am straight-up Bummed Out™.

April:

21. All The Old Knives (2022) - This movie did it perfectly fine, but I'm not the biggest fan of stories that keep flashing between the past and present. It's impressive writing and it definitely can be really cool to use it for a reveal that totally changes the meaning of something you've already seen, but, imho, when you use it as the whole story engine it A. kills the forward momentum of the action and B. robs the emotional significance out from under everything because you're just constantly seeing heavy subtext you couldn't possibly parse, and then seeing even more before the first pays off. I find it a little frustrating and boring (see: Arrow). But this movie was still cool.

22. The Batman (2022) - Okay this movie is almost 3 full hours and it took me 2 tries and then 4 sittings to watch it which I'm sure was not the intended or preferred moviegoing experience™ but I simply could not get through it any other way, my friends. Also this movie was so (literally) dark I have no idea what was going on in half the scenes. And a lot of the dialogue was just SO on the nose I mean it was fine but can we have just a little bit more subtext people, please. HOWEVER it was still pretty dope. I like that it wasn't bonkers action-y and was a little more noir/hard-boiled detective vibes. And I love this new turn of weird, soggy sewer rat Batman.

May:

23. Firestarter (2022) - This was my first theater movie since 2019! There were only 2 other people in the theater, because it turns out this movie has 12% on Rotten Tomatoes, which I did not realize when I purchased my ticket. Having seen it, this does not surprise me. It's pretty bad. BUT I like Zac Efron, I like an angry young girl with powers, and I'm glad for a return to weird little 90-minute movies.

24. 2:22 (2017) - Big fan of the cerebral romantic drama with a sci-fi twist! I think the premise is amazing and the performances are good and I loved it's whole style and vibe, but I'm not sure all the mechanics fit together as well as they maybe could have. I still really liked it though.

25. Contact (1997) - The peak of alien sci-fi cinema in my book. This movie rules so hard. I love the '90s character archetype of brazen adventure-science woman. (See also: Helen Hunt in Twister, and Laura Dern in Jurassic Park). And I love a flat change arc with huge themes.

June:

26. Jonathan (2018) - This movie has a legitimately fun premise and the first half was cool but the second half just kinda fizzled and rolled to a vague stop without doing anything to tie up the themes or pay off the details that it set up. Pass.

27. Need for Speed (2014) - I love this movie so much. I've literally seen it 20 times. I just like a car movie! I don't give a shit about cars IRL but car/racing movies just have a distinctive style and set of tropes associated with them that is so fun to me. And this one in particular has a great premise and cool locations a fantastic cast that was clearly having an amazing time and I love it so much. Also my power is out so I don't have internet and this is the only thing I had downloaded.

July:

27. The Princess (2022) - Okay, so I love the concept of a reverse rescue-the-princess story where instead of a prince fighting his way up the tower to get to the princess, the princess wakes up locked in the tower and must fight her way down. I just wish this movie did a little more with it? Like they sorta tried to break the movie into 'levels' of the tower, but if they leaned into that way more it would have been awesome. The action stuff was kinda cool and I actually like that they were a little silly and anachronistic with it, but it just didn't hang together for me. The tone was inconsistent, the pacing was weird, and the movie did basically zero character work. And I'm bummed out because I feel like there could be a version of this movie that's SO fun and memorable—a la A Knight's Tale or something— but this isn't it.

28. Last Night in SoHo (2021) - Yoooo I loved this movie. I mean I am firmly an Edgar Wright fan, so I guess I'm biased, but it was so cool. We love a neon-soaked movie. We love '60s music. We love time travel—or something like it. All vibes. I didn't really love how the third act wrapped up - it sorta took a hard turn - and also we really should have seen Sam Clafin's character at least one more time than we did for everything to work. But I forgive it.

29. A Nice Girl Like You (2020) - For me personally, this was a movie with a premise/tone that I didn't find particularly fun or interesting but was saved by really solid performances and pretty flawless screenwriting structure. It was a little dated, raunchy, and cringy for my own tastes, but it hit every beat right on the head with a cast that seemed to have chemistry and have fun and I respect that. Also not for nothing but I think I might have a full-on crush on Lucy Hale.

30. Monsters (2010) - I was in college when this movie came out and I remember my roommate at the time being obsessed with it and making me watch it, but I haven't seen or thought about it again until it popped up on HBO Max today. It's a 90-minute indie monster movie that's high-tension but low-action, open-ended, and really only about two people, which is exactly the kind of story stuff I'm all about. Great work everyone.

31. Kimi (2022) - Ohh another unique, 90-minute, blessedly simple, and character-driven thriller! Let's keep it up, team. I really enjoyed this one—and oof the stuff the heroine is going through at the start of the movie is Big Relatable in this COVID world of ours.

32. The Map of Tiny Perfect Things (2021) - Bro, I'm on a roll with my last few movies. This one was extremely delightful! Y'all know how much I love a time travel/time loop movie and this one was so sweet. Also the dude in this movie (*checks notes* Kyle Allen) is going be a star he's so good.

33. Above the Shadows (2019) - This is one of those slightly frustrating movies that - imho - has a great premise and great cast and could have been AMAZING, but had a couple writing issues that made it just okay. But I still enjoyed it!

34. Jurassic Park (1993) - I mean, a legendary, ultimate classic. What more is there to say? We need more 'monster' movies that are simple and cool with a degree of whimsy and awe. The '90s were great at this, let's bring it back! Also I'm about to rewatch all the JP movies in preparation for Dominion so buckle up.

35. The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997) - This one is markedly less whimsical than the first, with much more violence and much more annoying villains. But the cute chemistry and easy affection between Jeff Goldblum and his daughter and Julianne Moore is delightful. Also I do appreciate the turn of the dinosaurs being completely innocent and the greedy humans being even more cartoonishly evil.

36. Jurassic Park III (2001) - This movie is actually great?? I love that it's a bit more of a return to form, with Alan and Ellie of course, but also just with general fun. The horror-esque reveal of the pterodactyl and the ringing phone signaling the proximity of the t-rex are both EXCELLENT.

37. Purple Hearts (2022) - I took a break from the dinos to watch a ridiculously sappy and overwrought romance because I can't resist them. HOWEVER. This one was fucking awful. (And I am not that picky re: this genre.) The pacing and tone was all over the place, the writing was sloppy, and also it's some major military propaganda and the characters go through basically no change!!! Oof. OOF!!!

38. Jurassic World (2015) - Okay we're back and oh my god I forgot that this movie kinda fucking slaps?? It's honestly the perfect way to continue a franchise, and I love the shift of the original film being about the hubris of how, in this dawning technological age, we're doing every awesome science thing we can think of because we can, and who cares about the consequences. To this one being about KNOWING what a terrible idea it is but doing it anyway and doing it MORE because of corporate greed (although the parallels there to rebooting a cash cow film series are not lost on me). But even so, this movie is bright and fun and cool and the story is blessedly simple and I really love it.

39. Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (2018) - I like this movie a lot, but it occurs to me that the two JP movies that actually take place in a working park are by far the most fun. The visual trappings of a theme park and something so happy turning so awful is really compelling. And so are the built-in boundaries of being confined inside the park over the course of one day. Really only the original film and the first Jurassic World have that. For the rest, the world is already in chaos and there are essentially no boundaries or much ticking clock at all - which is fine, but there's just something less urgent and Too Big about it for me, personally.

40. Jurassic World Dominion (2022) - Weirdly, this movie might have a few TOO many dinosaurs? I feel like the past movies revealed dinosaurs at key moments but in this one I'm pretty sure there's literally never someone not getting attacked by a dinosaur (or a giant bug 😟!!!) But also I loved it! I loved getting the whole gang(s) back together, and the updated feathered dinos! And the baby dinos!

41. The Gray Man (2022) - I wanted this movie to be better? It was cool overall, and there was some stuff I really liked, but it was SUPER long and big stretches were kinda boring and I personally felt like it spent too much time on all the wrong character dynamics. Poor Ana de Armas got basically zero motivation or plot work at all. We learn nothing about her and you could almost literally just edit her out of this movie and absolutely nothing changes. A bummer.

August:

42. Encanto (2021) - Guess who cried twice during this movie? It was me. I'm so glad I finally watched this it was so beautiful in every way. My heart is full. Also shoutout to the CinemaWins video about this movie for making me pause that video and watch it immediately.

43. The Time Traveler's Wife (2009) - Oh look it's me, crying at the second movie in one night (I've been kinda going through it the past few weeks I think I was subconsciously seeking catharsis via tearjerkers). Anyway, time travel and epic romance are my two most favorite things in fiction so it's no wonder to anyone that I adore this movie.

44. Uncharted (2022) - Listen I'm just generally down for a bog-standard swashbuckling, map-poring, treasure-seeking adventure movie. This one isn't really anything special but I was passably charmed and if they make more, I'll watch 'em.

45. Persuasion (1995) - I've actually never read Persuasion nor experienced any adaptation of it until now. I loved it! And, to my own surprise since I often rant about these things, I love that this movie doesn't really spend time explaining Anne and Wentworth's specific history. I don't know if/how much the novel does either, but it's kind of remarkable how much it doesn't really matter. I also love that it appears to be shot entirely on location with barely any lighting setups, color grading, or even much time spent on hair and makeup.

46. The Lost City (2022) - Hee! As a great lover of both romance novels and cheesy adventure movies, this combination of the two was - maybe a TOUCH slapstickier than I would have liked - but overall EXTREMELY delightful. More weird and silly hijinx movies!!! please!!

47. Inside the Mind of a Cat (2022) - I guess this is more of an hour-long Netflix special than a real movie and it also seems like a good dose of pseudoscience to me, but I literally don't care! It was 60 minutes of cute kitties!

September:

48. Love in the Villa (2022) - This is an objectively bad movie held together entirely by Kat Graham and Tom Hopper being great scene partners and excellent comedic actors. I can't quite say I hated it, but it's also. Not good. At all.

October:

49. Black Widow (2021) - Finally got around to watching this! Tbh this movie was like a decade overdue and not really worth the wait to me, personally, but it was still fun! I love weird family hi-jinx!

50. Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021) - Once again, I'm kinda burned out on Marvel movies and also this was a late-night watch after a long day of hiking, drinking, and general carousing during a family vacation, thus I was nodding off for some of it. But I liked it! It was more unique than most Marvel movies of recent memory.

51. Fifty Shades of Grey (2015) - Not to bring this up AGAIN, but I am a longtime lover of ridiculous romance novels. As such, I am used to their General Nonsense and legitimately enjoy this movie (and the other two) for exactly what they are. Which is ridiculous. I make no excuses for the weird and the problematic, I just think wildly over-the-top romance is the best. Also, this first movie really did try to do something interesting with the story before the franchise was throttled by EL James. (I highly recommend Dan Olsen's video essay about this).

52. Fifty Shades Darker (2017) - Like I said, I just kinda like these movies. I'm not proud of it. And even though the first is by far the best objectively, I think this one is my favorite? Just for silly aesthetic and trope-y reasons.

53. The Choice (2016) - I loved this movie!!! I'm a sucker for all the Nicholas Sparks movies I have to admit (you're shocked), but this one might be my favorite yet?? Excellent use of my favorite tropes re: silly and banter-y couples, and agonizing romantic beats.

54. The Host (2013) - I feel like this movie was generally panned as more YA nonsense given its source material, and then instantly forgotten about, but I actually love it! I think it's really beautiful aesthetically and the score is amazing and william hurt is weirdly SO good in his role and it's romantic and dramatic and I've seen it a bunch of times.

55. Free Guy (2021) - This movie is so silly, but it's also reasonably heartfelt and creative and I just think it's fun.

56. Avatar (2009) - The movie, the myth, the legend. With the sequel allegedly coming out, I was curious to revisit the original. The actual storyline is whatever (slash slightly problematic) but the premise is really cool and the effects are amazing.

57. The Age of Adaline (2015) - Me? Watching sweeping romantic dramas and things related to time travel? Groundbreaking. But anyway I enjoyed this movie. I kinda wanted them to do a little more with the concept, but overall it was lovely. Also whoever that guy is who played young Harrison Ford deserved to be in more than 2 scenes he fucking crushed it.

58-61. The Hunger Games Series (2012-2015) - I LOVED these books and I remember being a little disappointed by the movies at the time, but having just watched them all again y'know what? They're pretty good. And they hold up.

62. Happy Death Day (2017) - This was my Halloween movie choice! Again! I truly never get sick of it. It's more funny and clever than actually scary, but still leans on some spookiness and it's a delight. Carter and Tree are so cute which really sells the whole thing. Also you guys know how much I love a time loop. This move is kind of the gen Z answer to Scream and they nailed it.

November:

63. Dracula Untold (2014) - Okay honestly I just threw this on at random for something to watch while I organized my books into my new IKEA media stand, expecting it to be one of those nigh-unwatchable (to me) desaturated cyan fantasy/monster movies with endless meaningless exposition and monologues interrupted by boring and also endless sword fights...and it kinda was, except much better than most! I felt like it was a fun take on an overdone story and surprisingly character-driven. I won't say it's a great movie, but I didn't mind it.

December:

64. Rosaline (2022) - I loved it! I personally am a huge fan of the period-piece-but-not-really trend that's popular right now, where something takes place in the past and uses it as set dressing, but uses modern language and pop songs, etc. This movie was also even funnier than I expected—although I can't quite account for why some characters are American and some are British? Even from the same family? Did they just cast whoever and not care? Because that's actually great.

65. The Broken Hearts Gallery (2020) - I adore this movie. It's such a sweet concept, and the dialogue and chemistry between all the mains is so hilarious. Specifically the dynamic between the love interests, which I find incredibly endearing.

66. Penelope (2006) - One of my all-time favorites!!! I can't even count how many times I've seen this movie it makes me so happy. The choice to make it essentially a real-world story (minus the magic curse) but with a production design that is ever-so-slightly fantasy is so much fun. Also, I don't know if Peter Dinklage has any particular pride in or fondness for this role, but I hope he does because it's fucking note-perfect. His every expression and line delivery is hysterical.

67. Lady Chatterley's Lover (2022) - Eh. It was okay. I feel like this movie thought it was much sexier and more dramatic than it was. It also set up some wider stuff about the world of the movie that it never really followed up on. What happened to the miners and the town? With Bertha? Did anyone actually get divorced? Connie and Oliver had a whole Thing with realizing how much their dynamic would change if they were a regular/real couple outside of the lives they currently knew, but did they do anything to resolve it? We just don't know.

68. Mr. Right (2015) - This is one of my most-watched movies of all time it is goofy hi-jinx and endearing romance incarnate! Featuring two of my all-time favorite movie leads!

69. Ever After (1998) - 💜😍💚😍💚 a forever fave always. (also can you tell I'm getting bored of trying to track and review every single movie? Not sure I'm going to do this list again next year).

70. Knives Out (2019) - Never gets old! I rewatched in preparation for watching the new movie and I’m curious to see how they compare bc I love this one.

71. Glass Onion (2022) - I loved it! And Janelle Monae is a dang revelation in this movie. However (spoilers) I think whodunits are more fun when there’s a clear Murder to Solve- like in the first one. This one had maybe a few too many mysteries happening at once and starting late into the movie. I still loved it though.

#movies by year

[aerodaltonimperial]

One of the things this fic is forcing me to work through is the attitudes towards queer individuals in the Chrono Trigger/Cross worlds, which is really interesting but also really sparse? The entire series is pretty painfully hetero-focused, which is not a surprise given the era and country it came from, but it also means we have very little to go off of, and what we DO see is very, very gender role-dominated, straight-assuming cultures.

There are two exceptions to this, and the first is Ayla. There's only one reference to queerness at all with Ayla, and it is, obviously, right when the party encounters her, but overall she provides one of the games few female warriors that break the gender norms most everyone else conforms to (note that there are no female sword-wielders in Trigger, and all the soldiers are male - can we attribute this to the re-using of sprites? Yes, of course, but that's what we have to go off!). The elders are all male, the mayors are all male. Even Leene, who gets a fair amount of attention, has a husband ruling as king. Queen Zeal would be something of an exception, but everything about her rule and character is negative and thus not an example of a good, strong female ruler. Ayla breaks this rule! ...while commenting on it the entire time about how oh, wow, a woman is chief. The game does not let it go without comment. Even Ayla comments on it.

But the queerness comes in when you encounter her for the first time, and we can extrapolate things based off the party's reactions. (In the original translation, this whole interaction disappears and Ayla "respects" both men and women. But in the DS, we get a much more exciting conversation.) When Ayla says "men, women - both like!" Lucca responds with a fumbling argument about how she's not...well, we don't get the rest, but we can fill in the blanks. This reaction is immediately negative, even if not necessarily trying to be. It's also worth nothing that the game plays this whole thing as a bit of a joke, which adds to the insult a bit.

The only other clue we get is Flea, and while this one is more about gender than sexuality, Flea pretty clearly is presented as either transgender or genderqueer. The game doesn't go so far as to give pronouns, but Flea says himself that he is a man despite appearances that the party uses to assume otherwise. (Personally, I lean towards genderqueer as a headcanon and use they/them, but this is super open to interpretation.) It needs to, unfortunately, be said that the game also plays this interaction as a bit of a joke. If you have Marle in the party in the original translation, she says, "THAT is a GUY?!" Not exactly the warmest of reactions...

And that's it! That's all we get in the game. The game often goes out of its way to show heavily hetero, gender-coded norms: even when you see a glimpse of Robo post-game in the new future, he is sitting next to a pink robot with a big bow, making ABSOLUTELY sure you are aware that it is a GIRL robot because that is IMPORTANT!! ...ugh.

The rest, honestly, we need to extrapolate based on the other cultural bits we do get, and a ton of that ends up coming from Cross and the treatment of the demi-humans. (A bit of this is seen in Trigger, too, with the fiends.) In Cross, the game makes it VERY apparent how looked down upon the demi-humans are as a race. Obviously this leads itself well to racial coding, but also the way society would treat queer individuals since they are both "other" and ooh, boy, it ain't good. Fargo is outright named as this sort of "bridge" that could unite humans and demi-humans given that he and Zelbess were romantically involved. Their children are, similarly, the "possibility" of uniting everyone, but very little is actually given to this since the game takes us elsewhere. Everything else is very, very hetero-coded. It's worth noting that with 45 characters, Cross STILL does not give us a female sword-wielder, and in fact, two female characters (one of whom I adore very much!) use ACTUAL COOKING UTENSILS as weapons. The gender norms are very strong!! There is only one female Dragoon, and she is obviously special (by virtue of her aforementioned background) so this can't even be seen as "typical."

So what can we assume about, at least, 600 AD and 1000 AD in Guardia and El Nido? Well, I doubt they are particularly progressive about gender and sexuality, and all we have to go off of are a few examples not really handled with any particular gravitas. (I will note that I suspect Zeal is different. This is only my headcanon, but I really believe they were far looser and more open-minded as a society - as long as the person in question had magic, that is.) I'd love to try and dig up more examples to see what I can find, as I tend to not use many of the Cross characters and therefore do miss out on interactions. But everything is very hetero, right down to the love "triangles" we are given in the game (all very straight!). I'm actually excited about diving in a bit to how I think this works into culture; what can I say, I am a queer gal who enjoys looking at the games I play with a queer lens. 🏳️‍🌈

[pipskippy]

thimking. doing some researches. ive been wondering this ever since i got diagnosed w sensory input makes you think you’re gonna die sometimes disorder.. i may be autistic.. it would make a lot of sense :^]

#pip speaks #it would explain the eye contact thing and the sleep problems and the not understanding when ppl are making jokes if i don’t know them well #and the anxiety partly and the needing things to be the same routine or feeling overwhelmed and disconnected/detached when things change #also w the sensory stuff i def have a weird thing with touch partly bc i had this one friend who was like waaay too touchy and seemed to lik #e making me feel uncomfortable/embarassed but even other than that like...touch is REALLY hit or miss for me lol also my startle reflex is s #o out of control and it seems like it’s only getting worse it’s just rlly funny at this point bc ill just be sitting and then my mom taps on #the door and suddenly ive lost control of my limbs and i like skip consciousness for half a second and then I’m like wtf just happened to me #i don’t know. i don’t know but i mean maybe it’s just the sensory stuff plus the anxiety. but maybe it’s not and ive learned to mask. bc i k #know thats really common esp with girls. im just scared to ask abt it bc the place i went to for the sensory stuff was absolutely AWFUL and #i never want to go somewhere like that again #tldr the environment was hot and stuffy and loud and scented like something i forget and im 99% sure they had this all to test how i respon #ded to it because another worker came in the door with a kid during the intake and was like rlly fakely oh oops this room is taken :) and th #en on the report it was like no she doesn’t have any sensory issues because she didn’t have problems with eye contact or staying focused #[despite all the noise and other awful stimulus there] so we don’t reccommend any therapy :) like god. i was on the brink of tears and tryin #g to make eye contact to make a good impression bc she rlly seemed to be watching me and it was freaking me out and I didn’t want to be rude #and seem distracted bc i didn’t realize they were trying to observe me ????? (wtf) so i tried rlly hard to pay attention and not let on how #overwhelmed i was feeling. yknow like i a #always do. bc if i didnt id be having multiple breakdowns at school everyday. so yknow i was like fuck you to that place and my current #therapist actually has sensory sensitivity so um its quite a lot better :) than that evil place. im pretty sure they also do ABA therapy the #re which based on how they treated me is not surprising but i really do want to commit evil acts whenever i think about it #anyways idk why i typed all this i should sleep now. if anyone skips to the end bc i cant imagine anyone reads all this have a WONDERFUL day #/night i love you so much you did a great job today and i appreciate all the things you bring to the people around you. you deserve good and #you will love and be loved i promise. im here with u. good night :]

[chosonore]

cynosure

cynosure [noun. one that serves to direct or guide; a center of attraction or attention]

pairing: sukuna/f!reader

summary: in which sukuna re-discovers being human one aspect at a time, through many lifetimes, at the price of losing you over and over.

wordcount: 8.7k

content/warnings: reincarnation au, slow burn but also not really because there's only hints of romance? language, it's not canon at all, just pretend sukuna was never sealed away, lowercase is intended

a/n: this is more self-indulgent tbh sukuna is probably uncharacteristically soft? sometimes i'm reminded of the fact that he used to be human and while we don't exactly know how he became a curse just yet, i kinda felt sad about it lol i'm too sympathetic with everything, it's gonna kill me one day fhuierhfa a lot of these moments are based on my own experiences, where i had to remind myself that even the small things in life are really good and important, especially during the pandemic. that being said, i hope you enjoy and stay safe everyone :) (and please don’t judge me too hard on this lol i haven’t written in like what. six years?)

001.

“oh,” you stared at the tall, pink-haired man in front of you. “i didn’t think anyone would be here around this time…” he stared back at you, not replying nor making any move to scoot over so that you could sit on your bench. it was only then that you noticed the black markings framing his face and adorning his wrists. you were a little dumbfounded - your mother had always said that you had a poor survival instinct. though you supposed that his pink hair eased your nerves a little; surely someone with pink hair couldn’t be as evil. but you couldn’t recall ever seeing someone like this around the proximity of your village. maybe he was a vagrant. 

“i don’t mean to be rude but… that’s my bench and i would appreciate if you could maybe… scooch over?” you asked gingerly, not wanting to upset the stranger. you approached him slowly, grasping your basket tightly. if he got a little rowdy, maybe you could just wack him with the basket, right? although it probably won’t hurt but it surely would stun him long enough for you to run.

“i don’t see why i should move just because it’s your bench,” the stranger answered gruffly, crossing his arms. were you naive or just stupid? “do you not know who you’re talking to, woman?” 

you cocked your head to the side, not sure what he meant. maybe he was one of those famous poets or musicians that your parents liked to talk about. you weren’t entirely sure. even though he sounded annoyed, the look in his eyes didn’t quite match the hostility - he looked rather bored, unamused even, but not hostile. maybe you could humour him a little. “am- am i supposed to know you? i’ve never been outside of the village so i don’t know much. only what the merchants tell me. i apologize if i’ve offended you,” you explained hastily, then pointing at your basket. “i just came here to enjoy the sunrise. um, today is my birthday, so i treated myself to some dessert!”

“if- if you scooch over a litte, i could share some with you…” you tried to bargain with him. now you were truly starting to sound desperate but this was your favourite spot and it was the first time in a while that you had a free day to relax. out of all days, just why did he have to be here now? you’d be damned if you let your day get ruined by this unfriendly stranger. 

“are you trying to bribe me?” the stranger narrowed his eyes at you and you thought this was it. he was going to kill you and bury your body in the forest and your parents would come look for you, only to find your empty basket and then start a huge search party to find you and- the pink haired man moved to the side, refusing to look you in the eyes. “sit.”

you let out a squeak in glee, quickly taking a seat beside him. he watched in silence as you unwrap your desserts, glancing at the objects in question. even though you’d offered to share with him, he didn’t actually expect you to give him some of your food. sukuna was surprised when you handed him a… round squishy thing? 

“what is that? how is that going to satiate me?” he asked, almost offended, which made you giggle. you didn’t reply, instead thrusting the mochi towards him until he begrudgingly took it, closely inspecting it in suspicion. 

“that’s a daifuku mochi. it’s made out of rice flour and filled with red bean paste. but come to think of it… do you even like sweets? i’m sorry if you don’t particularly enjoy it,” you explained and grabbed one as well. you were about to bite into your mochi when you saw the stranger opening his mouth, ready to devour the entire mochi in one go. in horror, you quickly grabbed his wrist to stop him, only to have him suddenly pin you down and tower over you.

“i’m sorry, i’m sorry!” you hastily said, now suddenly aware of the dark, threatening aura that he was emitting. maybe he was a killer after all. “i just didn’t want you to eat it in one go! they’re kind of difficult to eat in one go… plus you’re supposed to savour and enjoy it, take your time eating it!” 

sukuna stared at the girl in disbelief, you’d grabbed him out of nowhere just to stop him from eating too fast? not only were you not aware of who he was, you apparently did not know how to be cautious around strangers. it irked him that you were acting like he was a harmless human being. so much so that he briefly contemplated killing you. “who are you to tell me how to eat?” he growled at you, not softening his grip. he saw the panic and fear in your eyes but for some reason, he couldn’t quite put a finger on it, it didn’t fill him with joy as it usually did.

“i’m just telling you how we usually eat mochi!” you harrumphed, now annoyed that he was acting like you just committed murder. “you didn’t know what these were, so i was just trying to explain! food is supposed to be enjoyed, not ravished all at once. you have to appreciate your food because there might be days where you won’t have any. and besides, enjoying and properly tasting your meal is the least you can do to show gratitude to the person who cooked it for you.” sukuna let up and sat back on his previous spot, seemingly accepting your answer. you sat up, adjusting your yukata and pouted at him. what a rude stranger! you at least expected an apology from him but seeing that he was already taking a bite from his mochi, you guessed you should just let it go. it wasn’t worth getting angry over anyways, not on this day.

“why are you looking at me like that, little girl?” sukuna questioned, taking another bite from his mochi. he did actually enjoy it and it took every bone in his body not to hastily eat more and to savour it like you’d told him to. maybe this wasn’t so bad after all, it made him think about his meals a little more. not eating for the sake of eating, but for enjoyment, he mused. sort of like living for enjoyment, not for the sake of living. 

“you never told me your name,” the girl replied innocently. sukuna sighed. so you really weren’t aware of who he was. “my name is y/n! now it’s only fair if you tell me, especially because i shared my food with you. please?”

before sukuna could reply, he sensed someone quickly approaching. they were hiding somewhere in the forest; it likely was a jujutsu sorcerer, trying to exorcise him. he could deal with them later, but not here, not with you around. the girl looked at him in disappointment when he abruptly stood up, turning towards the forest behind them. unfortunately, he had the inkling that you wouldn’t let it go until he answered: “my name is sukuna, king of curses.” your eyes widened in recognition but you didn’t immediately react or scramble away from him, most likely frozen in fear. 

“now go. someone is coming and you do not want to be in the crossfire.”

002.

as a seamstress, you’ve encountered all kinds of customers. ranging from rude and bratty to eternally grateful, you’ve seen it all. your supervisor had always told you to remain calm and polite, to just adhere to their wishes to not cause any ruckus. after all, people of status often assumed that they were untouchable and could treat others poorly. it wasn’t worth the hassle to start a fight with them, you could lose your job after all. there was moments you’d have to stand up for yourself but this wasn’t it. fortunately, your employer paid you well, enough for you to provide for your family. the customers were high-profile after all.

you looked at the clock on the wall, your next customer was supposed to come soon. it was a nobleman that apparently travelled here from far away, having heard that the store offered beautiful, one of a kind fabrics. you just hope that he wasn’t rude and that you could leave in time. you’d been working overtime for weeks now, taking every appointment and customer that you could get. your mother’s birthday was approaching and you’d been saving up to buy some of the soft and silky fabrics to sew her a new yukata. your mother had always sacrificed her own comfort to buy the best items she could afford for your siblings and you and now that you were older, you could finally treat her to something nice as well. your employer was even willing to give you a small discount and you gratefully took up on her offer.

the chime of the doorbell made you look up, the good feeling in your stomach slowly fading when you saw who entered. you were familiar with the customer after all; he was well known in the area, being a rather volatile and sometimes scary aristocrat who had the reputation to be particularly difficult and having outrageous demands. you hastily stood up, brushing the wrinkles out of your clothing and walking over to greet him. you bowed politely, taking the outerwear that he took off and placing it on a nearby armchair. “sir, i’ll bring you a few samples shortly. do you have any colour or pattern preferences?” you asked him, placing a pot of tea and a cup on the small side table for him to enjoy. you made note of his wishes and disappeared in the storage room to pick up the samples. the customer had made himself at home, eyeing you scrutinizingly. he made you queasy, looking so incredibly unfriendly and you could tell that you were not going home early tonight.

you showed each of the fabrics to him, explaining what materials they were made of and what occasions they were good for but with each explanation, he just looks more and more uninterested. not to mention the snarky remarks he made, seemingly not happy of the choices you presented him. you were running out of options and you didn’t know what else to do to please him when suddenly you heard someone enter the shop. both the customer and you looked over confused - you weren’t expecting any more customers today, it was already late after all. a tall, pink-haired man entered the shop, scowling at your customer. you jumped slightly; he looked scary and you were terrified, not sure what to do in this situation. not only were the black markings on his face and body terrifying, there was also a threatening aura surrounding him, dark and slowly spreading out, all your instincts were screaming at you to run. should you politely ask him to leave? he looked like he wouldn’t take it too well. before you could ask him whether he was looking for something, the stranger spoke up: “you know who i am, leave.”

your eyes widened, slowly inching back towards the back of the store. you were not aware of who this man was but by the looks of your pale-faced customer, he surely did. “this is outrageous!” he exclaimed indignantly, jumping out of his seat. “you can’t just burst in here and demand that i leave! i have an appointment! are you aware of how long the waiting list is? this is the finest shop in the entire prefecture and i would rather die than to give up my spot for a scoundrel like you.” the stranger raised his eyebrows at the shorter man, clicking his tongue in annoyance. you slowly reached out to grab your pair of scissors. they probably weren’t of much use but it made you feel more safe, knowing you could at least somehow defend yourself.

“oh? you would rather die? i’m sure that can be arranged,” the stranger threatened and it was with horror that you watched his fingernails, sharp and pointy, grow in size. he wasn’t human, you’d just encountered a monster. he would kill you and it wouldn’t take him much effort to do so, you were sure he could just stab you with those fingernails. your customer squeaked and left the store in panic, slamming the door in the process, while you quickly hid behind the counter. you hoped he would leave you alone, you didn’t want to get involved. this wasn’t your problem, you were innocent and it was an unfortunate coincidence for you to be here. 

“stop hiding,” the stranger commanded, slowly approaching the counter. you peeked from below the counter, holding your breath. what else could he possibly want from you? demons surely didn’t need money. oh god, was he going to kidnap you?

he swiftly rounded the corner and knelt down to take a closer look at you - you couldn’t react fast enough, he’d already grabbed your chin and made you look at him, turning your head from side to side as he examined you. his fingernails were slightly digging into your skin, making your face scrunch up in discomfort. “so it is you,” he exclaimed in a low voice, then abruptly standing back up. you were confused - what did he mean by that? at least he didn’t kill you, at least not yet. but what else could he possibly want from you? “i need a new kimono. that scumbag just left anyways, make one for me instead.”

a kimono? a simple kimono? you couldn’t believe what you just heard. this demon just came in here, threw a fit but all he wanted was a simple kimono? you couldn’t help but scoff at the situation though it probably was difficult to enter a store without people fleeing or refusing to serve him. while he did look human, the markings on his face made it difficult not to feel threatened. but why did he know you? you had never seen this man in your life before. not in passing, not on drawings, nowhere. no matter how hard you wracked your brain, you just couldn’t recall. “d- do you have any- any colour preference?” you questioned him, watching how he took a seat and grabbed himself the cup of tea. 

“white,” he answered curtly, taking a sip from the tea. “i’ll leave everything else up to you.”

you felt uncomfortable but there was nothing else you could do than follow his orders. you grabbed a few plain white fabric samples and slowly inched over to him, holding them out with your trembling hands. “what?” he deadpanned. you huffed in frustration. 

“sir, you should… you should choose the fabric. it’s your kimono after all, you might not like the feeling of the fabric or it might not be a good fit for your everyday life,” you explained.

“i don’t care, just choose whatever. i’m above the comfort you stupid mortals choose.”

“that’s stupid,” the words left your mouth quicker than you could stop yourself and you slapped your hands over your mouth. the stranger looked at you as equally shocked. “i mean- i mean there’s nothing wrong with indulging in comfortable clothes!” you explained quickly, pressing the samples into his hands. “see you wouldn’t like scratchy clothes, right? or fabric that quickly makes you sweat or feel too warm! i always talk to my customers about what kinds of fabrics they would prefer… i believe life is too short to wear ill-fitting clothes or ones that don’t feel comfortable! good clothing should make you feel like… like a warm hug.”

the stranger didn’t look like he understood what you meant, making you scoff again. some people really didn’t care about what they wore and how they looked like and it just bothered you. good quality fabrics and well tailored clothing could make you feel confident and safe, even in the worst situations. how could you possibly relax if your clothing was maybe scratchy or ill-fitting? “i’ll prove it to you!” you exclaimed and left the room to gather your supplies, then coming back to instruct him where and how to stand so you could take his measurements. now that he was towering over you, you were suddenly very aware of how tall and broad he was. you felt like a dwarf next to him. up close, you noticed more details about him. he was attractive, you couldn’t deny that - the long wispy eyelashes, the watchful ruby eyes and his soft-looking pink hair. if he picked up on your staring, he didn’t comment on it.

once you were done taking notes and choosing fabrics, you gave him a slip of paper, noting down time and date for him to come back to pick the kimono up. “as for payment-” you started but the stranger dropped a huge bag of coins on the counter. you gasped, pushing the bag back into his arms. “sir, that’s too much! i’ll calculate the exact price for you but-” 

“take it,” he insisted and pushed it back towards you. “i have enough. you need the money right? see it as a generous tip.” your face flushed, you didn’t even know what to say and instead only profusely thanked him. it was so much money, the tip was enough to cover your family’s expenses for a year.

when sukuna picked up his kimono weeks later, he still didn’t understand what a hassle you made about the choice of fabrics and why you were so diligent in taking the measurements. he was fine with everything as long as he had something to wear in the first place. he didn’t care, he wasn’t a measly human that whined about the mildest inconvenience. in the private of his abode, he tried the kimono on, abruptly halting his movements as soon as the fabric touched his skin. so the girl was right, the fabric did feel incredibly good on his skin. it was very smooth and silky, a little cool on his skin. very lightweight but not flimsy. the kimono wasn’t too short and fit his tall statue well, you really did a good job he supposed. he glanced at himself in the mirror. it did look good on him, even the matching colours and patterns were chosen well. you really were a good seamstress, no wonder everyone was flocking to the store.

now that sukuna wore the kimono, he suddenly didn’t want to take it off. it was comfortable and soft, reminding him of you.

003.

your favourite spot was one below a tree, on top of a hill where you could see everything. the small city below, the horizon, the stars in the sky. you often came here when you felt like your life came crashing down your shoulders. it didn’t feel like your own anymore, not with your future already laid out for you without you being able to control it. complaining had always felt redundant and ungrateful to you - you had everything you needed, a loving family, food on the table and your family was wealthy enough to not have to worry about money. but in return, they expected everything from you, their eldest daughter. sometimes, the pressure was too much for you but they expected you to do as they say. everything was well until they announced that you were to get married and they’d found a suitor for you. you couldn’t even protest, the decision had already been made behind your back and you couldn’t refuse. you sniffled quietly, wrapping the blanket tighter around you. you didn’t know this man; he might be a complete asshole and not treat you well at all.

the wind was biting at your skin, cold and unrelenting, and yet you felt safe here, away from all your worries. the starry sky made you feel like your worries were miniscule, reminding you that there was so much more out there for you to discover. you’d always liked the sight of stars, they always made you happy. on lucky days, you’d even get to see a few shooting stars. you’d close your eyes and clasp your hands, hopeful that whatever wish you made would come true. the crunch of leaves and twigs made you look up in alarm, scared that your parents had found out you left the estate and now found your secret hiding spot. you couldn’t quite make out the figure in the darkness, only being able to tell that a tall person was approaching you.

you were wary, inching towards the tree behind you to hide but froze when a voice rang out: “i know you’re there. i was looking for you all over the city, little one.” a man clad in a kimono was coming closer, stopping right in front of you and looking at you in disdain. your eyes lit up as you recognized him; you’d met sukuna a couple of times in the city before, mostly when you went to pick up some books to read. he’d been there one time when you were choosing your books and scoffed at your choice. you’d ask him about it, wondering why he thought that your choice was a bad one. he went on and on about how historically inaccurate the book was and that the information about curses was wrong and how an author like that should be ashamed to even publish it. you appreciated the dialogue, you liked having someone to discuss with you. your parents didn’t like that you read fantasy books and books that talked about supernatural events and beings, dubbing them as nonsense and that you should focus on your studies instead.

after your third meeting, sukuna had finally opened up and told you his name. your meetings became more frequent then but you’d never met anywhere other than the bookstore. you were surprised that he even found you here; you decided not to question him though, sukuna always seemed to know where you were, always sensing where you were headed. truthfully, you looked forward to spending time with him. he was attentive and always listened to you, barely ever talking. oddly enough, it made you feel like finally, someone was paying attention to your thoughts and needs. lately, a heavy feeling in your chest was always accompanying you when you met up with him. it was a dull ache, some kind of yearning that you couldn’t quite put a finger on. it didn’t help that you felt like you’d met him before, but you really couldn’t recall where you had met him before. “what are you doing here?” you questioned him, scooting to the side to offer him some space on the picnic blanket.

unceremoniously, he sat down and glanced over to you. he didn’t reply, simply shrugging. “why didn’t you bring a coat?” you asked another question instead, frowning at his choice of clothing. aside from his kimono, he wasn’t wearing anything else. “you’ll catch a cold!” you scolded him, swatting his arm before tugging on his sleeve and signalling him to move closer to you so you could wrap the blanket around his shoulders. you struggled a little to reach him, almost stumbling - sukuna’s arm immediately shot out to hold you so you wouldn’t fall. your cheeks flushed red and you were thankful that it was dark. you cleared your throat and sat back down, snuggling into the blanket and his side. 

“by the way, i read that book you disliked the other day,” you told him, rambling about the contents of the book and what you thought of it, all while sukuna simply listened to you. he only spoke up when he challenged your way of thinking or to agree, otherwise staying silent and just watching you.

suddenly you grasped his hand in excitement, pointing at the sky. “oh, oh! look!!” sukuna’s gaze followed the direction you pointed to, spotting some shooting stars flitting across the sky. “you have to wish for something!” you squeezed his hand and nudged him, then squeezing your eyes shut to prepare yourself to wish. 

“what would i even wish for?” sukuna frowned and pinched your cheek. “what do you wish for?”

“you’re not supposed to share wishes! if you do, they won’t come true,” you argued back and stuck your tongue out at him. sometimes, he really was too skeptical, never indulging in harmless fun. it might be childish to believe in these things but sometimes that little spark of hope was all you need to wait for better things. you sighed when the shooting stars disappeared and let go of his hand, screaming internally. did you really grab his hand like that? you sure hoped you didn’t unsettle him. 

“i don’t think i told you, but my parents have found a suitor for me,” you confided in him quietly, staring at the grass near your feet. “i’m supposed to marry him next year but… i don’t want to, i don’t know this person and i just want to live my life with no one controlling it.”

“i see. there’s still time to get to know him, isn’t there?” you knew sukuna was trying to console you but it wasn’t exactly working. your words frustrated you a little; subconsciously, you’d hoped that he shared the same opinion and maybe, just maybe, help you do something reckless. 

“i don’t want to get to know him,” you huffed and crossed your arms (sukuna thought you looked like a petulant child). “i… i already like someone.”

“you do?” sukuna looked at you surprised and that was the first time that he’d shown any other emotion than indifference. you nodded shyly, hoping that maybe he’d get the hint. you weren’t confident just yet to confess to him but maybe he’d get it from your description alone? 

“i recently met him and i really like that he makes me feel like, you know, important and always pays attention to me. he doesn’t talk a lot but i think that that’s okay, we still have a silent mutual understanding, i guess. and i also think he looks really handsome! although i-”

sukuna had enough of your rambling, he felt annoyed that you were telling him about your stupid crush. whatever boy you had a crush on, they would never amount to the likes of him. why would you look at someone else when he was right there? right here, with you. sukuna reached over and grabbed your cheeks to make you look at him before pressing his lips on yours. you froze for a short moment before returning the kiss, holding onto his kimono when he wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you closer. why would you pay attention to someone else when he could be with you? for the first time in his existence as a curse, he briefly felt human again. maybe shooting stars were the key to wishes coming true after all; in this moment he wouldn’t mind being human again, being alone with her with only the stars as your witnesses.

004.

gradually you were really starting to dislike your night shifts. usually, you’d ask to cover them because it was quiet, there were no nosy customers and the only people that ever came in so late were sleep deprived students that pulled all nighters to write papers or study. well it used to be that way until a group of, presumably, freshmen started coming more and more frequently - they wouldn’t have been so annoying if it wasn’t for them talking and laughing obnoxiously loud. they would stay until late in the night and kept ordering drinks. the audacity to have oddly specific orders, to watch you like a hawk while you were preparing their drinks, it made your blood boil. to top it all off, one of the guys kept flirting with you, even when you’d already made it obvious that you were not interested at all. no matter how uninterested and abrasive you acted, the guy would not leave you alone and his friends would try to act as wingmen. clueless and horrible wingmen.

you were glad that you were never alone during your night shifts, depending on the weekday you’d work in a team of two or threes. whenever they could, they’d cover for you and you were thankful but also felt bad, which usually resulted in you taking over anyways. you placed the basket on the counter, grabbing a towel to dry the cups you’d just washed. the chime of the doorbell made you look up, your heartbeat speeding up at the sight of sukuna coming in. like the group of freshmen, sukuna had recently started to visit the café more and more. he usually only came late at night and he probably was your favourite regular. scratch that, he was your favourite, no one was as calm as him and he never caused trouble. yeah, maybe those night shifts weren’t all that bad, you thought to yourself. you looked forward to him visiting every time you had a night shift.

“hi sukuna,” you greeted him softly and gave him a smile, placing the cup on a shelf. “the usual?” he took a seat near the bar, placing his wallet on the counter and taking off his coat. sukuna was peculiar, not particularly in a bad way. you always thought that he was a little mysterious. he always wore the same kimono - who wears kimonos everyday in this day and age anyways - the same white kimono but maybe he just owned mulitple of them. you could never tell what he was thinking and he had never shown any emotions other than brief moments of bliss when he was having his usual order. his order had always and would probably always be a simple black coffee and some daifuku mochi. it was a weird combo, you mused, but somehow fit him. it was a sharp contrast, just like his tattoos and the soft pink hair. you finished up the order, pushing the cup of coffee and the plated mochi towards him - you’d sneaked another one in just for him, knowing how much he seemed to like them. sukuna looked up at you, ready to protest but you just brushed it off, telling him that it was okay.

out of the corner of your eye you saw your not so secret admirer approaching with an empty cup and you instantly knew you were bound to be annoyed again. you sighed, returning to the cash register to take his order. “so, when am i finally going to get to take you out?” the guy asked, leaning on the counter to get closer to you. you gritted your teeth, ignoring his question and instead took the empty cup, placing it in the kitchen sink behind you. 

“oh come on, don’t ignore me, baby,” he whined, not letting up until you answered. you were annoyed, so so annoyed. your co-workers were currently organizing the inventory so you were all by yourself - usually that would be fine but you’d had enough. this week has already been awful and you just wanted to be left alone. you glanced around, spotting sukuna on the side. suddenly a lightbulb went on in your head and you faced your admirer confidently. 

“i’m sorry but please stop flirting with me and trying to ask me out,” you started and pointed to sukuna who was innocently taking a bite from his mochi. “i already have a boyfriend and i don’t think he appreciates you cornering me like this. you being this persistent is really annoying, girls don’t like that.”

upon hearing his name, sukuna looked up and as if on cue, he glared at your admirer. “yeah, i suggest you fuck off. get a hint, you creep, she’s mine,” he snarled, making a move towards the other guy who was already scrambling to get away and profusely apologizing. mine, mine, mine. his words kept repeating in your head, your heart squeezing painfully. was he interested in you? would he ever come to see you more than just a barista? you sighed in both relief and affliction, trudging over to sukuna. 

“i’m sorry i dragged you into this,” you apologized embarrassed, shoulders drooping and you stared at the floor just so he wouldn’t see your reddened cheeks. “he’s been pestering me so much and i kind of thought that that was the only way to get him to back off.”

“i don’t mind,” sukuna replied curtly, resuming his seat. he didn’t say anything else and you slightly panicked, you wanted to keep talking to him, stay in his company for a little longer. 

“ah uhm sukuna, i want to thank you! if… if you don’t mind, i would like to treat you to another drink?” you suggested, your face now beet red. this was the most straightforward you had ever been with a guy, usually too shy to make a move. in distance you could hear the chime of the doorbell and the doors slamming, indicating that the group had left. you were alone. sukuna didn’t reply at first and you were sure you’d fucked up and got ready to backtrack and laugh it off when he nodded. 

“go ahead, little one,” he nodded towards the counter. “you choose the drink.”

you didn’t know why sukuna kept calling you little one but for some reason, you didn’t mind. it did however make your heart ache in what you could only describe as melancholy. you weren’t sure why. while you started brewing some green tea for the two of you, the sound of thunder rumbled in the distance. the pitter patter of raindrops against the glass front was the only sound audible in the entire café. sukuna hadn’t uttered another word, not even making a sound of acknowledgement when you handed him the cup of tea and sat next to him. 

“you didn’t bring an umbrella,” you noted, looking out of the window. it was raining heavily, with no signs of it stopping anytime soon. “i guess you’ll have to stay here for a little longer, otherwise you’ll get sick. i hope you aren’t sick of me though.”

sukuna took a sip of his tea. “i don’t mind your company,” he replied, looking at you. you couldn’t tell what he was thinking but you sincerely hoped he wasn’t joking. hearing that gave you a little hope. 

“i like moments like this,” you confessed to him, clutching the warm cup with your sweater paws. “having a warm cup of tea and watching the rain from the comfort of your home. or in this case, a café. the sound of rain is really calming, isn’t it? makes you forget about all your worries for a while, it’s just you and your cup of tea.”

again, sukuna didn’t reply for a while. you thought you’d bored him to death with your monologue until he spoke up: “i don’t see how it’s any different from having a cup at any time of the day.” your cup was placed back on the counter. you frowned, not sure how to explain it to him. in moments like these, sukuna seemed to be something of an old being that has seen everything, feelings now dull and locked away. 

“well, see it like this. making yourself a cup of tea or coffee everyday is a normal thing to do, right? it happens almost automatically because it’s just part of your daily routine, you like how it tastes, it makes you feel more awake or helps you sleep. but… but you never really take your time to enjoy it, right?”

sukuna was contemplating, you almost giggled at the little frown on his face. but you were glad that he was willing to listen to you and discuss it with you, instead of dismissing the topic entirely. “but what does that have to do with rain?” he finally asked. 

you pointed outside. “you wouldn’t really go out in this weather, right? not if you have any emergencies or urgent matters to attend to. and same goes for everyone else; it kind of… kind of forces you to stay inside, to fully enjoy your warm beverage. the sound of rain is pretty calming, it’s some kind of whitenoise that might block out intrusive thoughts, at least it does that for me. so it’s only you, the sound of rain and your cup of tea. for a few minutes, you can just relax and have a moment for yourself.”

sukuna still didn’t quite understand how humans worked. it’s been hundreds of years since he’s ceased to be human, he’s forgotten what is what like being human. what human emotions entailed. but he agreed, it has been a while since he’s felt at ease and peaceful even. it was a moment of bliss, a moment that caused a flare-up of old, buried feelings inside of him.

004.1

you still hadn’t mustered up the courage to actually ask sukuna out after you dragged him into that fake dating-situation. he did still come late at night, being the most loyal customer of the café at this point. it was almost… almost as if he’d seeked out your company. though he did tell you that he didn’t mind your company; your ego deflated a little. sukuna still wore his kimono but paired it with a thick winter coat - it was winter after all and the weather had been very extreme. the ground was covered in inches of snow and you hadn’t seen the sun in weeks. sukuna insisted on walking you home when your shift ended. you weren’t sure why because he’d never offered to do so before. you were thankful though since it was still snowing and the streets were completely empty; even though the snow looked beautiful, it was still a little eerie to walk home in this weather. especially since a lot of busses weren’t running anymore due blocked roads.

“sukuna, aren’t you cold?” you asked as you switched off the lights and fumbled with your keys. finally finding the right one, you closed up, shoving the keys back in your back and fishing out your gloves. “you don’t even wear gloves!” you gasped when you saw his bare hands, handing him one of yours. sukuna looked at you as if you were crazy.

he wasn’t cold but he couldn’t tell you that, couldn’t let you know that he was a curse. but handing him one of you gloves? you were too nice, always thinking of others first and never being selfish. sighing, he put on the glove that was uncomfortably small but he’d endure it for your sake.

“it’s been a while since we’ve had this much snow,” you mused and took a few steps around, giggling at the sound of crunching snow beneath your feet. sukuna simply followed you, looking comical with the bright yellow and tiny glove on his hand. you smiled at him, admiring how etheral he looked underneath the streetlights with the snowflakes flurrying around him and some getting stuck in his hair. your heart suddenly ached, a far away memory emerging. it was blurry and unclear, a cold night similar as this underneath the stars and a face staring at you. you couldn’t tell who it was nor were you sure whether it was just a case of déjà vu.

“you know, this kind of calls for a snowball fight,” you grinned at sukuna mischievously and grabbed some snow, beginning to form it into a ball. he raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms, looking at you defiantly. 

“i’m not going to indulge in childish business like th-” he didn’t get to finish his sentence as you hurled the snowball at him and giggled like a maniac as it hit his shoulder. you quickly hid behind a bush as you quickly tried to form another, enjoying the dumbfounded look on sukuna’s face. clearly, he didn’t expect you to follow through with your plan and was caught by surprise. “oh you’re on,” he growled after a moment and grabbed himself some snow as well. you quickly threw another snowball at him, this time only being able to hit his leg. eyes widening at the sight of sukuna raising his arm to throw his snowball at you, you let out a squeak and dove behind a tree - the snowball still hit you square on your back, making you yelp at the cold feeling.

for minutes you could only hear the crunches of snow, loud laughter and snowballs hitting objects. you sat on a bench, exhausted from running and ducking away and your belly was starting to hurt from all the laughter. sukuna caught up to you, juggling a snowball in his hands. “you gonna give up?” he asked, a smirk gracing his lips. clearly he was winning, being able to aim a lot better than you. you missed him most of the time but had fun regardless. 

“never!” you replied, holding out your arms to defend yourself from the incoming snowball. it never came and instead sukuna was inching closer with an evil look in his eyes. oh no. what was he up to? you yelped when you realized that he was aiming for your neck, jumping up to get away from him. sukuna was quick to react and grabbed your arm, pulling you back into his chest and holding you close, smushing the snow against your neck. “ew sukuna, stop!” you laughed and squirmed in his arms until he threw the snowball away, rubbing your back gently. 

“that was really cold, you know,” you pouted, burying your face in his chest. 

he wrapped his arms around you, sighing quietly. “i know, i know, sorry.”

you swore that you felt his lips on the crown of your head.

005.

you were, undoubtedly, lost. your phone was about to die and you were stranded in the middle of the city, not sure where to go. to be fair, it was very, very easy to get lost here and it was your first time visiting. your grandparents lived here and while you’ve visited before, you couldn’t quite remember anything anymore. you were a child back then. and the city had drastically changed too, making it difficult for you to navigate yourself around. though your poor sense of direction was probably at fault as well. you sighed, trying to call your grandparents again. no one was picking up. you turned your phone off to save some of the battery, maybe you could call them later.

luckily, you’d brought your cameras so you could at least keep yourself busy until someone freed you from this misery. you walked towards the nearby shrine; there didn’t seem to be any people here, it was very quiet aside from the sound of cicadas. you took a few photos before continuing your journey, soon finding yourself standing on top of the hill. the view from here was breathtaking, even more so because the sun was starting to set, painting the sky in a beautiful yellow and orange hue. you fumbled with your camera again, trying to take a photo when someone suddenly moved into your shot. you paused and looked at the person in front of you who was staring at you as well. considering they were wearing a kimono, you assumed that they must work here. did you make a mistake? maybe you weren’t supposed to take photos and this person came to tell you off.

“i’m sorry!” you said quickly, quickly shoving your camera in your bag. “am i allowed to take photos here?” 

the stranger frowned at you, clearing his voice before replying: “how am i supposed to know? i don’t work here.” 

you groaned, rubbing your face in embarrassment. of course you’d say something wrong, you always did. and now you probably annoyed him too - he looked really annoyed. but since he wasn’t working here and there was no one else around, you guessed you could take photos after all. there was no one to tell you off anyways. however, the stranger was still standing there, looking at you in what seemed like interest. you felt awkward just continuing your endeavors without acknowledging him, so you asked: “do you live here? i’m just visiting, so i’m not very familiar with the city.”

“you could say that,” the stranger simply replied. when he didn’t say anything else, you decided that it probably was okay if you just continued taking photos without acknowledging him. though it did make you queasy, knowing that he was just watching you. didn’t he have anything else to do? a few minutes passed. he sighed and walked over, pointing at your camera. “what are you doing?” you were surprised at how straightforward he was, not expecting to engage in a conversation with you. maybe people in this city were just extra talkative and you’d have to get used to it. your grandparents never told you about this though. 

“ah i’m visiting my grandparents here and i thought i’d document my stay here. so i can look at these photos whenever i want and just have the memories on photo,” you explained and rummaged in your bag to show him the polaroids you took earlier. “i particularly like polaroids because you can’t edit or change them… whatever moment you capture, it’s true to what you saw. there’s no need to make photos beautiful when they hold a special place in your heart and are tied to a specific memory.”

the stranger nodded, pointing to your polaroid camera. “and you take them with this device?” his choice of words startled you a little, he didn’t seem to be familiar with this type of camera which you found odd. everyone knew what these were nowadays, almost everyone owned them. but you didn’t want to judge him or make him feel stupid though, patiently explaining to him how the cameras worked and where he could purchase them. he seemed to be really interested, closely inspecting the camera, turning it around and fumbling with the buttons. only after you finished rambling, you realize how much time had passed - it was almost dark now and your grandparents were probably worried sick. your phone was turned off the entire time and you forgot to call them. 

“excuse me, i really need to call my grandparents!” you looked at him apologetically, leaving him with your photos and camera. normally, you would be very wary; normally, you wouldn’t even show anyone your photos, rather keeping them to yourself because they were your precious memories. but something about him resonated with you, he seemed familiar and yet he didn’t.

you found a spot a few meters away from him calling your grandparents and profusely apologizing to them for not calling sooner. you promised them to wait at a popular and well known spot nearby so they could come to pick you up since it was already getting late, then hung up. to your relief, the stranger was still standing there, watching you intently. “thank you,” you smiled as he handed you your belongings. “my grandparents are picking me up soon, thank you for keeping me company. won’t you be going home soon?” 

suddenly his face expression turned rather… sad? somewhat melancholic and you feared you’d said something wrong until he shook his head. “i have to go somewhere later. let me walk you for a bit, it is dark after all.” you looked at him a little dumbfounded, not expecting him to suggest something like that.

“oh you don’t have to! i’ll totally be fine, i-” “i want to. let’s go,” he interrupted you, already beginning to move. you hastily followed him, clutching your bag in your hands. the entire walk was rather silent, none of you saying a word. it wasn’t a tense and uncomfortable silence though - you very much enjoyed his presence. it made you feel safe too, even though you’d told him earlier that you didn’t mind walking by yourself, it was comforting to know that he was by your side. you were in an unfamiliar city after all. hell you even got lost, so who were you kidding. you wondered who the stranger was, what his story was, what his personality was like. this was a one time meeting though, so you didn’t really have any hope of meeting him again. that was very unlikely.

“okay this is the spot. my grandparents are going to pick me up here, so it’s okay if you go,” you pointed at a café and gave him a reassuring smile. he didn’t look impressed. “o-oh wait, i need to thank you somehow.” you held a finger up to signal him to wait for a bit and fished out a polaroid you’d taken earlier. it was a simple shot, only the temple, bits of the trees and the sunset in the background. but you thought it was appropriate, the two of you had shared this moment after all. 

“here, this is for you. it’s not a lot but i guess… it’s a really nice photo and maybe the start of your collection, if you decide to get a polaroid camera?” he took the photo from you, inspecting it before nodding and thanking you. he looked like he was about to say something else but was interrupted by some bright car lights and the sound of honks.

“ah, i have to go! it was nice meeting you,” you bid farewell to him and waved, running towards the car. sukuna watched your figure retreat, arms dropping to his sides.

006.

it was so cold, so incredibly cold. you really hated disliked these long winters, the sky was constantly dull and grey, the days were short and you hadn’t seen the sun in weeks. it made you feel sluggish and unmotivated, you were just hoping that spring was coming earlier this year. you yearned for sunshine and warmth, to be able to go outside without freezing and just spend more time outside. regardless, you held onto your daily walks because they gave you some peace of mind in your hectic life. you were approaching the last year of your studies and the amount of exams, assignments and your looming thesis were just suffocating you. but soon, soon you were done and could finally take a breather, until then, the only moments of relaxation you’d have were your walks.

despite the cold, there were a lot of people near the park; children who were engaging in snowball fights, elderly who were walking their dogs and some joggers too. your eyes were wandering around, watching all the busy people around. too absorbed in your task, you didn’t notice the man in front of you until you bumped into him. you quickly removed your earbuds and apologized to him, about to continue walking when he suddenly grabbed your arm, holding you back. you were confused, did you maybe accidently hurt him when you bumped into him? you looked him up and down to make sure that he was okay; there really wasn’t anything wrong. he let go of your arm. “is something wrong?” you asked concerned and turned to him. 

“y/n?” 

you froze at the mention of your name. how did he know you?

“who are you? i’ve never met you before.”

in all your past lifetimes, you’d taught him how to be human again, how there was value and joy in even the littlest of things. with each iteration of your existence, sukuna thinks that he’s learned to love you more than the last. when he sees how at ease you are spending time with him, a curse that is feared by everyone, he contemplates confessing to you. but something holds him back, it’s the fear; the fear that you won’t return his feelings. he’s seen you be with someone else, see you fall in love countless of times. he yearns for it to be him, hoping that you do choose him, love him. for thousands of years, he’s spent his time finding you - your reincarnations don’t recognize him and it pains him to get to know you anew each time but nothing pains him as much as his existence. he wants to hold you, be yours, grow old with you.

for the first time in thousands of years, sukuna wishes to be human again.

ps.: i am so sorry if i hurt your heart there omg

#jujutsu kaisen #sukuna #ryoumen sukuna #sukuna x reader #ryoumen sukuna x reader #sukuna x you #ryoumen sukuna x you #sukuna imagines #ryoumen sukuna imagines #jujutsu kaisen imagines #jujutsu kaisen fluff #fic: cynosure #writing