#relapsed😒

[noamglompsky]

back to my roots i guess

#call of duty #john soap mactavish #simon ghost riley #ghostsoap #cod #relapsed😒

[very-lost-hobbit]

being avoidant is such a pain in the ass

#I need to call my boss back for one of my jobs. I've needed to call her for a WEEK. LOVELY impression Kat 😒😒😒 #brain FREEZE UP every time I try 😭 and I have no real adults irl who will fucking LISTEN to me they'll all not get it #I'm having a minor AVPD relapse!! I need to call someone about it!! I don't want to I want to hide in bed forever AAAAHHHHHHHHHH #I'm doing it today. I'M DOING IT TODAY. HAVE to rip the damn bandaid off because my anxiety is just getting worse and worse #I know this. Still feels like I'm trying to prepare to fight a tiger with my bare hands or something #kat gets personal #me #delete later #I guess. probably

[olliecoded]

i think imposter syndrome is going to ruin my life

#awww you had a sh relapse because u felt like u didnt deserve things 😒😒 #this happens EVERY time i experience ANYTHING good. how am i supposed to deal with it #hello world #tw sh

[bunnyb34r]

Was thinking ab my fatigue today bc I have to see my dr and he usually asks. I've come to the unfortunate conclusion that I'm at a solid 7 on the fatigue scale 😒

My usual is a 4 typically. Where if I push myself I can theoretically do it, but will need to prepare to crash for 20hrs straight the next day, but otherwise I'm tired during the day but it's typically low enough that I can do minor things when I'm home after work.

This shit sucks man

#hes gonna suggest we do shots every 2 weeks but doesnt factor in i have to drive 40min one way for each shot. so no. #and we did do 2x a month and it didnt change anything really #i need like 2x a week but to be able to inject myself honestly but im a coward and hate needles so id probably wuss out #not that they offer take homes #anyway it's frustrating bc ive done so much shit to try to mitigate my fatigue but it cycles and im in a relapse cycle 😒😒😒😒 #idk if thats the right word tho but you know what i mean where im going backwards progress wise #marquilla

[frosty-the-killer-doll]

heartbroken that Chucky won't be back until the fall. you're telling me I have to survive that long with the Arrowverse as my dominant obsession. I can't do this again

#the relapse 😒 #me #chucky #arrowverse #im literally. it infiltrates EVERYTHING i #cant listen to music without making it supercorp cant do homework without arrow playing in the background #cant go to keepnotes without seeing a bunch of character headcanon lists #no one has ever written abt frankie kane and lyra strayd and mona wu than i #at least when its chucky doing this to me my family at least gets worried that i may become an axe murderer

[valandherweekofwonders]

maybe the 4th day in the last 2 months that i have been able to get out of bed and out of the house before noon and felt like i was alive and living wow

#hated this summer had the worst fucking time i cannot exaggerate it enough i am so interested in simply moving on from it #i was meant to spend the time correcting and creating better habits but instead i spent it losing my mind & being suicidal and relapsing 😒

[aleksa-sims]

RL Simself Story ( 18+)

CW: pregnancy, addiction

I've made a lot of plans for this day.... First, I do a pregnancy test! Later I will finally tell Nico about it, who has not been with me since I left his place yesterday... Last night Sandra stayed with me.

We talked SO MUCH🤯 ... Mainly about Stephanie and that guy she mentioned yesterday, when she was at N.'s. I told Sandra what strange shit Stephanie said.... Sandra immediately understood, that the guy Stephanie talked about, was no longer alive. And yea, it made sense. 🧐

But now, it was time for me to finally take a test!! Although I somehow knew, I was pregnant, I was still totally nervous. On the one hand, I absolutely wanted a baby, but on the other... I was afraid of it and just NOT READY yet, to become a mother. And what if Nico doesn't want that? How am I supposed to do all this alone?... I’ll need my parents! But my Mom seemed depressed about something that had to do with my Dad. Their marriage.

And oh my goodness! Ana overheard Sandra & me!! She thought it was totally strange, that S. and I were in the bathroom together.

I haven’t told Ana yet, I might be pregnant. I felt bad about hiding it from my sister. I wanted to tell her last night, but Ana didn't really seem to have time for S. & me. She met her new bestie, that dumb Claudia. 😒

Backt to S. & me! I had to wait 4 minutes until a result becomes visible on my pregnancy test. S. tried to distract me... Only 2 minutes later, I got my answer! I could see, that the second, red line slowly became visible on my pregnancy test. 😱

So yes, "we don’t have to wait anymore, I’m pregnant S"., I said.

Sandra was so happy for me. The only words that came over my lips were... "Shit, shit, shit!" Maybe bcs I felt sick?

While I had shit in my head, Sandra my Baby, Ana had only one question, that went through her mind... WHO's the baby daddy??? I had no idea, why Ana was wondering who got me pregnant?? I told Ana about N. & me, so it was obviously Nico’s Baby! But Ana thought Dennis, was the baby daddy.😯 Ha? Why Dennis? I didn't even sleep with him! But Ana didn’t believe me anyway, when it came to that one night in her dorm 3 weeks ago.

Ana also felt sorry for Daniel. Now that I was pregnant, it was probably definitely over with us. Tbh, I was sad too. Part of me wished it was Daniel’s Baby😞... I knew he wanted that. But it didn’t matter!! Daniel left me! And... agh, I don’t wanna say that, but from todays POV.... it would be a disaster for me, if it had been Daniel's Baby. We’re both drug addicts! 😞

That’s exactly why I had to see a doctor! I wasn’t sure I could keep my Baby??? A few weeks ago, I relapsed. So I was back on those drug substitutes. THIS, one damn thing, has always ruined my life, also my short marriage to Daniel and now it has even affected my Baby. 😓🤦‍♀️

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#ts4 #sims 4 #sims 4 story #myrlgameplay #18+ content #rl story #simself #cw pregnancy #cw addiction

[thetenamongstthesethrees]

TW: REFERENCE TO SH AND RELAPSE OF SH AND SUICIDE ATTEMPT

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Ok so ik ive been inactive for a *WHILE* and im srry for that but like i have a buncha things that happened these past 3 months that I NEED To share SOOOO....

First things first, the one im most excited abt: I DID MY FIRST PERFORMANCE!!! My school was doing little mermaid jr and I got Scuttle! I was really happy to get my first role and getting at least one solo, and Im just happy overall on how it went! I think I did really good on my first try! Only bad thing was that now im kinda going through my lil mermaid hyperfixation and have been looking up fics where Sebastian and Ariel kinda have a Father/Parental Figure-Daughter or Older Brother-Younger (stupid but ultimately well meaning) Sister dynamic and have started to write a fic on that bc no ones done it before apparently😒(im going cray cray, bonkers mayhaps)

Might've gotten my eye infected(I live in the east of the us, new york to be more specific and woke up the day after the "live vintage (BLAME CANADA/j) filter" with my right eyes nerves slightly more irritated and haven't gotten that checked out so thats fun)

FINALLY finished that one drawing ive been making for 3 MONTHS.(well, technically....)

Almost done writing my passion project, AKA the one I originally wanted to make into an animated series but have settled for a book just in case that can't happen! I still need to work out some kinks, design more outfits, get all their personalities in check, make sure the world and magic is fully fleshed out, ect.

I also do band, and while I originally thought that I would have a problem bc of both band and theatres close scheduling(i originally had dress rehearsal on june 2nd, AND my band concert on June 2nd) but it all worked out in the end! My band concert went great, and while the dress rehearsal was a mess, we at least got through it! :)

Unintentionally quit SH! I was originally only meant to stop until AFTER performances, but ive been bettering myself and learned that if I ever want to forgive myself or at least move on I gotta stop feeling sorry for myself and not forget nor forgive, but remember, i just can't let it haunt me. I know I'll relapse, I always do eventually, but I want to enjoy these few moments of mental "clarity" while I can. I've also learned that for some reason i tend to become a more terrible person and despicable person the more time I spend at home with my mother, so that's fun. God, I hate America's education system, its messed me up BAD. AND the foster care system. I just tried to kms 2 times today, and she didn't even notice, or care. How sad is that?

On a lighter note, yes, as the rest of yt and TikTok, I got a minor lil hyperfixation on the Lorax and really think ppl should make more [PLATONIC] Lorax and Onceler dynamics, mainly the type where they're like some really annoying pair of bickering siblings or a father whos sick of his adopted child's shit, like there is so much on the table for platonic fluff and angst and most of what I've seen is romantic smut and fluff like CHANGE IT UP A LIL

Also, Ive been going to karaoke centers on Tuesdays and have become a lot more confident to performing in front of ppl! So far, I've performed "All You Wanna Do", "The Ballad of Jane Doe", "Heart of Stone", and am gonna do "What the World Needs" the next upcoming Tuesday, where I'm gonna try interacting with the audience while singing!!

(Also, before I end this....I may have ADHD??? my teacher who has ADHD says some of my behavior is "similar to hers"(i feel like thats just her way of saying i reek of neurodivergency) and I also did some research and I display similar/exact behaviors listed, have taken online tests from doctorate confirmed sites and basically all of them said to go get a diagnosis. I also found I do a few behaviors similar to stimming! Also also, I kinda suspect a lil more bc my mom has Autism and apparently sometimes neurodivergency is biological (i forgor the word) but my mom is kinda in denial abt my Depression diagnosis and thinks I got anxiety "biologically", so if I tell her I wanna get tested for ADHD shes just kinda gonna gaslight me into not believing that and i already told the school therapist and basically she just told me that I'm probably just imagining things or copying behaviors from my mother and that "kids like to give themselves all these titles nowadays" so I just did what I always do which is to keep it shut and act until they think you fell in line)

So yeah, thats all! Thanks for reading, now that my schedule is clear again ima start posting more frequently again, so be aware :) <3333

#musical theater #musical theatre #theater kid #theatre #band kids #band practice #band vs theatre #clarinet #electric guitar #piano #lorax 2012 #the little mermaid #self care #self improvement #self mutalition #self h@rm #note to self #recovering #inevitable relapse #book series #what being a writer is like sometimes #possible adhd #i feel sick #sewer slide #sewerslide attempt #angst writing #i need a nap #i need therapy #i need to be put down #i need to start writing again

[ijustwannabeskinny123]

Ana help

Hey guys, I've struggled with eating disorders when I was younger and then got a hypothyroid condition, so yes. I got fat. Quick.

I'm now 13 stone 6. I've relapsed and am now getting back to it.

Things are different now the tricks that used to work for my ana aren't working anymore. I just used to fill myself up with tea. That shit don't work anymore I'm so hungry.

This is a bit TMI but I need some advice.

How do you deal with the hunger pains, headaches, light headedness, nausea, and the lack of fibre in you know whatttt. When I do shit, omfg, it kills and bleeds.

Help a girl out, don't be judgy 😒

P. S I don't wanna hear any of that: it's not beautiful, it's not a trend bullshit.

#pro a4a #ed bllog #ed not sheeren #tw ed diet #th1n$po #tw disordered eating #ana trigger #tw ana diary #tw ana shit #th1nsp1ration

[kmp78]

Mmmmh "his reputation intact", eh? 🤔”. Yes K. Anon is right. Jared may protect SL in a brotherly way but airing his personal medical issues is no one’s business, yes, not even yours or any echie’s. If SL wants to do that, he can. Any show cancelled would have made arrangements for a refund or rescheduled show. If they got a stand in drummer, oh well, bad luck for SL fans but ces’t la vie. The show must go on, for fans and the hundreds of employees who it takes to put on a show at a live venue. Do you think they cancel a Broadway show because a principal is unable to perform? Heck no they usually don’t nor do they offer an explanation or a refund. You don’t know how Jared may or may not offer help to his bro aside from your guesses. Someone encouraged him to go to rehab. I guarantee that was majorly JL and that was not enabling, nor was JL likely paying for it at a pretty penny.

Aside from encouraging SL to start an income generating business and possibly referring professionals to help him set it up, you don’t know how the business was seeded. When SL couldn’t make a go of it, did JL take it over to keep the $ flowing for his bro? No. That would have been enabling. But J let it fold. Good lesson. Instead of paying for a new swanky Hollywood Hills home for his brother and his sig other, guess who is living in a refreshed/updated (it was filled with renters previously) home he already owned and can afford within his means. Solid guidance and support; also not enabling. Helping your brother do the only thing he has ever cared about and been good at is not enabling either. He doesn’t force him to promote the band anymore or do much more than studio work and appear on stage. Why? Because we all know he can’t. And his addictions have little to do with that. Kindness and brotherly love are recognizing others limitations and not forcing them into situations at which they will fail or cause them undue duress. That too, is not enabling. If anyone can be credited with helping SL deal with his addictive illness it is his brother. If anyone can be credited with keeping him on track it is probably CS and JL. Addiction is not a choice (despite what you obviously believe) and SL is lucky to be alive, largely due to the love of his brother. That is not enabling, it’s loving your family and doing what is best for them. Maybe, just maybe you should say something positive about that without a but…

A stand-in drummer? 😂

We should be so lucky... 😂😂😂

THERE WAS NO DRUMMER AT ALL! 😂🙄

Just JL standing where a drumkit should be. 😂

Funny how the songs sounded exactly the same tho so kinda begs the question why SL is needed there to begin with but oh well. 🤷🏼‍♀️

And did I say anything about CANCELLING?

No I did not. 🤦🏼‍♀️

I said REFUNDS.

REFUNDS for not delivering the whole product that we paid for. 🙄

And btw: an apology costs NOTHING.

And no one was expecting his full medical history. 🙄

But the mentality of "We don't owe anyone any explanations" is BULLSHIT. 😒

The reason they didn't say anything is because it was so embarrassing for them that he just kept on relapsing over and over again - but that's not our fault.

That's his. 😒

If he had broken his leg, you think they would have been so sheepish and silent about it?

Unlikely. 🩼

[fragmentedink-archived]

because I'm an idiot I decided to look up my step-dads criminal record and ig he settled a plea deal back in 2020 after he strangled a woman and took a hammer to her head and his release date is in 2025

literally let the man rot there. he was Awful and Violent and a nightmare for 10 years. less than 5 years for strangling a woman and taking a hammer to her head + four DV charges (granted they were dismissed 😒) w my mom in like one (1) year and a history from before we even met him

I do not care about his mental health and addiction problems. I could not give a single flying fuck when he also made my mom relapse and broke her nose when she was terminally ill. he can rot in prison I do not Care

#m e #dv tw

[slender-wannabe]

i got an email from a social worker from the ed clinic that i used to go to for therapy and she asked me if i'd like to come in for a follow-up with the np.

my brother in christ...last time i went to the ed clinic was for some assistance with exploring recovery and the moron of an np said my weight was so high it wasn't even on her bmi chart and it triggered a restrictive relapse tf you think i'm gonna show up again for? 😒

[strwbrrylover]

depressed, drunk, relapsed on ssshhhhh and i ate a whole pack of sweets 😒 not my day today babes not my day xoxoxo

[velvetcorpse]

sorry for such a lack of posting …

i #relapsed and had to send myself away

i’m home less than a month and it’s been rough tryna integrate myself back into society 😒

((longer post come later))

#addiction relapse #drug relapse #narcotics anonymous #alcoholics anonymous #mentalheathawareness #suicudal

[rockprincess88]

Whether you like some or not. You can disagree with them or what have you, which is fair enough toodle-oo 👋🏻 but wishing them to relapse and kill themselves is a disgusting human form of behaviour and you should be flogged imo I'm proud of my band and I'm so so proud of Matthew 🥰🥰🥰🥰 you're stronger than I am I'd have flipped my lid ages ago 🤣😅😤🙄😒🤬🥲🤩

#the 1975 #music #band #human too #vile behaviour #these people are demanding an appology and for what exactly? #love is love #dont be mad

[aleksa-sims]

Simself Story

CW: addiction, pregnancy, cheating, divorce

I told him... 😢🤦‍♀️

As the sun slowly rose after we talked all night about what Daniel has experienced the last 4 months, it was my turn, to tell him what I did, while he was gone...

What I can say? 😞... He was devastated. It wasn’t really my pregnancy or the fact that I get a baby by someone else, what has made him so upset, but rather the... circumstances that led to it and how it all came about. All our probs were caused by that damn attack/assault on us, 8 months ago. This thing has traumatized us. We both had difficulty processing it.

My parents told him I was dating Nico. The day he came back, he talked to them. He asked questions. And now, D. wanted to know from me, why I even met Nico? Did I call him? Or he me? How did we get there? Well, the stranger I met online... 🤦‍♀️

Daniel: He did it all on purpose! He pretended to be a stranger playing Sims with you. I mean how sick is that?... Did you know it was him? Did you lie to me? Be honest!

Me: No, I swear I didn't know!!! You know the whole story, I showed you everything he texted me. And he didn’t plan on breaking us up. He never meant to see me, he knew I loved you and we were married. He even helped me make up with you. It wasn’t until weeks after you left, that Nico started giving me more and more clues about his true identity. Listen D., he tried to distract me. I was always sad. I was looking for you everywhere with Alex. I was devastated! And I also relapsed, really bad, I fucked up sm. 🤦‍♀️😞

Daniel: You want to divorce me. Everything breaks dwon.... This is worse than the shit my crazy mother did to me. You and me... that wasn’t planned to end this way! It should never end!

Me: I'm so sorry. I don’t want it to end either. That’s why I married you, I love you, but-...... how’s this gonna work?

Daniel: You love him, not me! Otherwise, you’d just stay here. But you decided to divorce me and start a new life with him. So go! Go to him!..... What the fuck are you waiting for?

Me: No, I’m not leaving. I can’t leave you alone now. I’ll stay with you, as long as you need me.

Daniel: Damn, stay away from me!!.... Leave me alone, or I might say something I don’t want.

I couldn’t leave him alone. So I just stood aside somewhere in a corner, looking down, while Daniel left the living room. I touched my belly.  I apologized to my Baby for the hatred I felt for myself at that moment. I was disgusted with myself. I resented myself for constantly repeating the same, damn mistakes. I never wanted to hurt Daniel!! He deserved me to stay with him and live our fucking lives the way it used to be. I have to find a solution!

Half an hour later, I went over to Daniel to look after him. And.....huh? Is Daniel cuddling his old teddy bear??? 🤨😄

Me: Daniel?..You ok?... You... need a huggie? 😳😬

Daniel: Nah, I just don't wanna see you. And why's that old dust catcher here? He also smells like you.

Me: I found him at your house the last time we were there. Your sister said it was yours once. And the other day when I was home, I found him in my closet. I gave him a little makeover. I cleand him and put some of my perfume on him. And yea, he's cute I wanted to keep him.

Daniel: I hate that teddy bear. He disappointed me when I was 7, just like you now. 😒

Me: Um... that's just a toy, Daniel. How can a teddy bear disappoint you? 🤨

Daniel: I got him when I was five. My crazy mother kept locking me in the closet as you know. He was my bud, who was allowed to accompany me. And whenever I was alone in our damn house, I was less afraid, bcs he was there too. But on my 7th birthday I found out who gave me that teddy bear. It was one of those damn witches my mother met at her fucking clut-parties. That woman also told me my teddy bear was not a boy as I thought, it was a girl! She showed me the label. And well, at 7 I could read. The label said, "Susi the bear." I was totally disappointed. He wasn’t my friend anymor, just a fucking traitor! A damn witch, Susi, like one of my mothers odd followers. 😠

Me: Sorry. I didn’t know, I’m gonna put him away. 😞

Daniel: Take it with you! Maybe your soccer player's gonna be happy about it. Kind of like a trophy for him. He’s an athlete, he should like that. 🤷‍♂️

Me: I’ll save your old teddy bear for my Baby. I thought one day, we could give it to our own baby, but if I had only guessed, I would be pregnant by someone else.... I-...agh, Daniel. I'm so sorry. I wish it was.................... otherwise. 😢I could stay with you, but what should I say to Nico? I can’t hurt him, and I don’t want to hurt you either. Really not! But I’ll find a solution. I won’t let you down.

Daniel: I don’t want....your solution. I want my girl to myself. I'm not gonna share you with him. I ain't like Philip, damn it! So just go!

I went out to our roof. I wanted to take Daniel’s laundry off the cloth-line. I wanted to help him and be there for him. But Daniel was annoyed.

Daniel: Hey! Don't you hear?... What are you still doing here?

Me: I wanna be there for you. I’m just helping you.

Daniel: I don’t need you as a cleaning lady or maid! I need my... wife!

Me: I’m not going! This is my home too!

Daniel: Fine! I’ll give you an hour. If you’re still there, I’ll lock the door. Then, you really have to stay here,.... overnight! I won’t unlock the door until tomorrow.🤨

Me: I have a key, you smart guy. 😒

Daniel: Not anymore, know-it-all. 🤨 Besides, I’m stronger than you.

Me: You’re gonna handcuff me?

Daniel: The clock's ticking. One hour! Decide!

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#ts4 #sims 4 #sims 4 story #myrlgameplay #rl story #cw divorce #cw pregnancy