#renheng angst

[steamedtuofu]

Dangerously yours

#i did this in one sitting #am sorry #honkai star rail fanart #honkai star rail #hsr angst #renheng angst #renheng #renheng fanart #hsr dan heng #hsr blade #yingxing

[berrybunluc]

#renheng #刃恒 #woohoo it’s angst time #crying screaming clutching the jacket collar of your deceased wife #it’s ok the death isn’t permanent

[itsredpaint]

it no longer belongs to you

#hsr #nikiki's art #honkai star rail #renheng #xingyue #dan heng #blade hsr #sorry for the angst ive got another one

[daze4all]

Imagine:  Dan Feng gave Blade the lily Hairpin to hold up his hair and putting his hair up the same with pin triggers blade.

Hence why he wears the healer set but not the pin.

“The pin, you can keep it as reminder of me?” The water ripple to reflect two figure by the lily pond. When his hair was white, and a lily pin was placed in it to keep his hair out of his eye when forging.

“Flowers suit you more” He harrumphed as he twisted the delicate piece the crafted lily petals caching the light in his hands.  It tinged and sang  in his hands as parts clicked against each other.

“It could, soften your image maybe more people would  approach you” teased the Soft smoothly melodic calm voice from his memories. The robed figure behind him under the pagod of the waterlily gardens in the Xianzhou.

“Or remind them of my fleeting lifespan” he huffed grumpily. What use did blacksmith have of a hair ornament nonetheless he tried clumsiy to gather his hair to the soft laugh of his cmpain

“I won’t let that happen.” The eye and voice steady assuring him fooled with

 Confidence,  foolish , steadiness, reckless,  trust,  traitor.

Lover. Liar

���Here let me help you”   the pin is tucked in his hair swept but in loop on the side and takes root.

hOw doEs it lOok? Same voice but Muddled worried. Panic at the the voice distant. Pain shot through bright as the vision shattered the roots of taking hold and choking the mara setting in.

“He isn’t looking so good this might be the end…

hElp him!

Now spiderlily blooms and is  replaced the white with red and the madness raises its ugly head again.

The water rippled. And the lily pond drowned him yet again then dredged him to surface. To breathe again a life that was set to stop.

---

Imagine: Playing with Blade's Hair goes wrong....Funny version?

A simple updo from behind would make you thought pleased with your work as ou secured the side loop with pin so you could see Blade's handsome face and eyes once more.

“Hope do you li-" You barely managed to finish the sentence as Blade smashed the mirror as you tried to show his new do with him having recognized the old hairstyle immediately.

#renheng #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail imagines #honkai star rail #dan heng #yandere imagines #male yandere x reader #imbibitor lunae #hsr blade #yandere hsr x reader #yandere blade #angst blade #renfeng #dan feng #dan feng x yingxing

[holderof-cats]

I dislike the recent changes in fandom culture so much. Like, why do the newer fans need everything to be either black or white? If i want to ship these two characters who tried to kill each other multiple times, then why can't i? Yes i am aware they are toxic as fuck and that is exactly why i need to ship them. similarly, If i wanna be a fan of this insane, batshit crazy character who is an obvious criminal , then i am a fan of this batshit crazy criminal bro, i dont need to defend their actions? i don't need them to be either black or white? I signed up for moral ambiguity here, not to justify them committing atrocities smh

#just because i want it in fiction doesn't mean i condone it irl #what part of “they are fictional” do you not get #kafka #arlecchino #blade #dazai #geto suguru #renheng #bakudeku #soukoku #cytham #chilumi #shinsoukoku #i do not need the grass here #you do if you think someone shipping a toxic ship is the end of the world #i'm not even romaticizing toxicity here #i just wanna enjoy the angst potential of these two blorbos leave me alone

[bluepapermints]

-I just want to see you again-

I wonder if Blade would have flashbacks of their past time together, when saw Dan Heng in Imbibitor Lunae Dan Feng's appearance.

Just kinda feel the original in-game story scene is kinda lacking in reunion ANGST, so my brain had a field day...

No repost, no video edits, no AI usage allowed.

Reblogs are wildly welcomed, thanks!

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Blade's underlying emotions, which are there, but not apparent:

#renheng #dan heng #dan feng #Imbibitor lunae #blade #ying xing #Honkai Star Rail #hsr #angst #comic

[windtorndagger]

Thinking about renheng who have both lost half their memories but in the sense that all their memories of one another what are half memories. The more they spend time together, the more they remember the missing parts.

Blade who can only remember confessing to Dan Feng, but not remembering the answer, while Dan Heng remembers answering yes to a question he doesn't know.

Dan Heng remembering only the outcome of his decisions as Imbibitor Lunae, while Blade only remembers all the actions he took.

They are half of each other's soul, and half of the other's memories.

#memory angst is top tier angst imo #i just think dan heng would be pretty if he cried and that spawns a lot of ideas #hsr dan heng #hsr blade #renheng

[shadowcatzone]

i want to (you too) imagine the kind of apocalyptic tantrum Dan feng/Dan heng will throw upon discovering xingyue child had been murdered like, right in front of his eyes.

So close to save them - but not fast enough. Just a second too slow. Nagging at him. Biting, clawing, hatred.

You have to understand. I want Yingxing/Blade standing by unable to do anything while they lost their most precious thing.

#//why do i enjoy angst so much recently #i'm eating gilbird #honkai star rail #renheng #xingyue #yingfeng #//xingyue child #hsr dan heng #hsr blade #hsr yingxing #hsr dan feng

[akarialart]

A memento from the past.

#honkai star rail #renheng #dan heng #hsr blade #Free me from the rendent pithole !!! #The angst is too stroooooong

[poohwhin]

‘ Until your sin is cleansed. . . my vengeance will pursue you. ‘

— Death Awaits , Blade Character Trailer

#tw: flashing images #hsr #blade hsr #blade honkai #i dont make gifs i just thought his trailer was beautiful <3 #his flower symbolism has me GROWLING i cannot #also renheng angst #my HEART

[bluemistdream]

Is it just me who still ships dancae even with all of the renheng events happening? It's hard being a multishipper and feeling like you betrayed your og ship but at the same time is looking forward to more renheng leaks. Love the angst

#hsr #honkai star rail #hsr angst #renheng #dancae

[anushkab2711]

Yingxing talks about his mortality

It's understandable why Dan Fang committed unpardonable sins .

Got this poem from my History Textbook. It's an excerpt from a song/poem 'Love for the Lord' by Mirabai.

I doodled in the middle of studying, I couldn't resist to put it to paper, sorry if it's a bit too scratchy.

At first read, I was disgusted at the thought of smearing Ash?! Onto the limbs ,like eww ! But when I asked my mom , what it means ,she explained that it's just symbolism. Meaning , asking your beloved to not let go to waste even the last being of love they harbour, the last bits of love they have.

Hope , it's understandable. Sorry if it's a bit too long .

These are notes for the future me to look back hahah

#yingxing #renheng #hengren #ren heng #ren hang #dan feng #imbibitor lunae #xianzhou luofu #high cloud quintet #hsr fanart #hsr yingxing #star rail #hsr dan heng #honkai star rail fanart #hsr angst #honkai fanart #blade honkai #honkai star rail #il dan heng #musings #poetry #honkai sr #doodle #pencil sketch #ibispaintdrawing #ibispaintapp #traditional art #ibispaintx #sketch #dan heng x blade

[artexmachina]

I think i might have a problem, I've drawn them way too much

#honkai star rail #honkai fanart #honkai star rail fanart #hsr fanart #honkai star rail blade #hsr blade #hsr dan heng #honkai star rail dan heng #imbibitor lunae #yingxing #dan feng #yingfeng #renheng #yinyue jun #bladeheng #fanart #this is the last i'll draw them istg #we got to bring in that danmei angst in too #be gay do crime

[daze4all]

Rewrite: HSR Always Remember Me- Soft!Yandere!Blade x Reader ft Dan Fengx Yingxing

Dan Feng was your past, Blade your present, and Jing Yuan your Future

One sided reader maybe ? and Former Dan Feng x Yingxing x Reader Take place either after the quintet split up after the sedition of Imbiter lunae or between joining the stelleron hunters and Abundance Xianzhou event when Blade Marastriken loses memories but regains them and goes back or just before he joins.

From Series: Dan Feng was your past, Blade your present, and Jing Yuan Your Future

A stranger had turned up broken and bleeding near your house. You had struggled to patch him up to the best of your ability and strangely he healed despite your nonexistent healing skills.

You had to be careful with him injured as he was raving and a bit mad possibly when you found him. Sick from something. Swinging his sword like a lifeline he wouldn't let go until he collapsed from blood loss. You wrapped his wounds and and set aside his clothes to repair later helping him into clean set a bit nervously looking away when you could.

He was ripped but weak. He slept unconscious for a long time until he woke

"Stay with me I don't have much but I and keep you safe while you recover," you ask as he nods having no idea where else to go.

You sometimes wonder if he imprinted on you with his obsessive fire-red eyes. Swallowing you whole with the intensity of his stare as he mimicked your daily chores once he was well enough to get up. He healed at an astounding rate for the extent of his injuries.

He stayed feeling familiarity and an odd sense of rightness for this place. Feeling safe by your appearance though he didn't know why maybe because you were weak and unarmed and healed him.

He was like a baby bird after recovery following you like a mother hen.

Intimidating like a big guard dog always with the blade he hugged close to his arms that he would not let go even during recovery though he did not seem to know why.

That's how he was named as he had to be called something not just Mr. Mute Man. But you had limited naming skills but said the first thing that came to mind seeing him "How about Blade for the sword you carry?"

Blade was an enigma and a puzzle probably best left unsolved. Why he was here? What happened exactly? is still a mystery to you and you could only take the broken body in and fix what you could to the best of your ability. Hopelessly, helplessly all over again.

At first, He didn't sleep watching you until you dropped off in exhaustion.

While you snoozed, he'd disappear haunting the house and the forge in the back. His hand lingered picking and putting down tools. An aborted half motion from instinct. until one day he followed through and you found him hammering raw metal the fires blazing in the abandoned smithy of the previous homeowner. A friend and swordsmith who had been unlucky enough to perish by the blade of a sword master forged by his own hands. However now you were not alone, not anymore with the newly named Blade by your side.

Life was domestic easier with him helping to chop wood for fires to keep you warm at night. Planting the next year's crop. Weaving the threads of a new outfit for him as his was tattered beyond repair. You trying to fix to the best of your ability the old threads.

Sometimes, at night you found your friend often had night terrors that were soothed by stroking his hair. A practice that started when he would hover watching you and following where you went like a bodyguard even when you close the door on him when going to the bathroom.

He would stand stock still his blade the one thing he had brought with him as if it was a plushie he held tight. He was waiting for you to leave so he could follow. The sight of him like a forlorn puppy in the rain or a child hugging their favorite toy causes you to reach out instinctively to comfort him. Your hand slipped through sickly blue-black strands before you knew it

"ah sorry " you drew back but he nudged your head as a dog would humming low even perhaps happily for more.

Later that night he plopped his head into your and you brushed out his hair till he slept. Marveling as the blue to red hues " You have such pretty hair. Mr. mute" you commented with thinking soft laugh tinkling from you unbidden as he furrowed brow and returned smile smile. You blushed as such a handsome man smiled back at you.

Your heart seizing at guilt and sadness for his situation.

It maybe would have continued like this never knowing the mystery man never knowing his identity but one day it all changed when he remembered his fractured memories.

He had left for quite some time coming back soaked from his fit after a changeup form the daily routine of brushing it out to pinning it up for something fun to keep his hair out of his eyes during daily chores. A sweet thoughtful gesture went wrong as he had smashe dteh mirror upon seeing it. A trail of blood dripped down from knuckles as he left the house abruptly after breaking a pin you treasured. w hen you had tucked his hair up to the side. A spin on a night-time ritual you did brushing his hair to help him fall asleep that went wrong.

Triggering some lingering PTSD for what you could not fathom.

You didn't see where he went but the rain whipped and the storm went on and the fire blazed with the boom of thunder following the forge. Pounding out his emotions on the metal as he did before.

… The next day the storm settles and he comes back drenched in raina dnsweta

He comes back quiet and solemn with something shiny in his hand, not your broken pin but a small blade.

“In place of your broken pin, a dagger for protection” Blade simply says demonstrating a few parries, lunges, and thrusts with the small sword he had gifted you. More like a dagger easy to conceal in the fold of your clothes.

Tear and eyes burn hearing his speak " You can speak now" Hoarse your voice a mournful echo

“Keep it with you always,” he said thinking of how easy it was to break into your house having done it countless times already. As well was a token in place of him for protection a poor substitute but he had an unspoken mission to pursue. An end to seek that even you couldn’t keep him from now fractured memories were trickling back to him.

"I cannot stay I might hurt you now." Always a gentle giant but fracturing now like the blade in his hand hardly in control as memory and mara seep back the effect of his memory loss lost now.

You like them so much perhaps should start calling you Blade? a past voice friendly and casual yours? echoes in his marastruck mind as he shakes it off to place the blade in your hand. Probably from when you first named him.. right?

“ Be safe” you say being the silent one now unsure what to do now your unexpected guest was leaving,

"You too “ Blade replied a man of awkward silences and few but meaningful words. Even when his voice was back.

Silence choked you from yesterday's explosive incident. You wondered nervous with trepidation maybe even hope at his next word that crushed you. You had yearned to hear his voice again for so long but the cruel words were said.

A grasp of your wrist as he draws you close in a desperate bruising kiss before you go. “Don’t forget .” Blade's eyes burned bright as flame with lost desperation. A hidden side that only softens for you and grips your heart in guilt.

A softer desperate almost inaudible whisper “Always remember for me” he repeats his grip bruising and eyes blazing almost a threat so intense and meaningful for the mara-struck man.

“Of course” you softly say taking his hand with your own to detangle yourself from him. You don’t think you could forget him you tried.

He certainly made an impact. How you could forget someone coming in the rain red dripping off their clothes and seeking shelter at your rundown house?

He spilled his life story in raving, heated mutterings, of fragmented pieces of battles. Mentioning Sinners, dragons and fighting monsters in between a terrible fever you nursed him through. You couldn’t understand the concepts beyond your comprehension, but it seemed he finally remembered.

“You, don’t forget.”

You wonder if he even remembers you or forgot that too. Someone you saved. Someone who saved you once from drowning. You could never forget though it seems he has.

He has all the time in the world and yours is ticking away…. It's the least for can do for the man who will live forever but forgets and you who remembers but will fade away like flowers.

"This I will remember." You promise sadly.

Only harsh truths would only hurt him and you. The thoughts scratch painfully at your heart and leave your mouth dry unable to speak of the too cruel reality and shatter this fantasy of togetherness. To deny him the future he was seeking.

So, you lay still by his side for one last night. A warm body beside him in a sleepless night. You stay awake as long as you can by his side. Pressed against his chest to an unbeating heart as he listens to yours ticking down a time he’ll never have again

In the morning, he turned his back to you and it is the last time you see it .

Past Dan Feng x Yinxging ft Onesided Reader

Imagine: Dan Feng gave Blade the lily Hairpin to hold up his hair and putting his hair up the same with a pin triggers blade. Hence why he wears the healer set but not the pin.

“The pin, you can keep it as a reminder of me?” The water ripples to reflect two figures by the lily pond. When his hair was white, and a lily pin was placed in it to keep his hair out of his eye when forging.

“Flowers suit you more” He harrumphed as he twisted the delicate piece the crafted lily petals caching the light in his hands. It tinged and sang in his hands as parts clicked against each other.

“It could soften your image maybe more people would approach you” teased the Soft smoothly melodic calm voice from his memories. The robed figure behind him under the pagod of the waterlily gardens in the Xianzhou.

“Or remind them of my fleeting lifespan” he huffed grumpily. What use did blacksmith have of a hair ornament nonetheless he tried clumsiy to gather his hair to the soft laugh of his cmpain

“I won’t let that happen.” The eye and voice steady assuring him fooled with

Confidence, foolish , steadiness, reckless, trust, traitor.

Lover. Liar

“Here let me help you” the pin is tucked in his hair swept but in loop on the side and takes root.

hOw doEs it lOok? Same voice but Muddled worried. Panic at the the voice distant. Pain shot through bright as the vision shattered the roots of taking hold and choking the mara setting in.

“He isn’t looking so good this might be the end…

hElp him!

Now spiderlily blooms and is replaced the white with red and the madness raises its ugly head again.

The water rippled. And the lily pond drowned him yet again then dredged him to the surface. To breathe again a life that was set to stop.

Imagine: Playing with Blade's Hair goes wrong…. & Epilogue

A simple updo from behind would make do. You thought pleased with your work as you secured the side loop with a pin so you could see Blade's handsome face and eyes once more.

“Hope do you li-" You barely managed to finish the sentence as Blade smashed the mirror as you tried to show his new do with him having recognized the old hairstyle immediately.

The next day he leaves and you wonder all the ways it went wrong. Or right?

"Always remember me …how cruel Yinxing… when you don't remember me…" you mused as you buried the remains of the broken spider lily pin beside the petals of an old waterlily flower pin in the old forge of your old friend now gone again.

This time he does not come back and you are left with the flower pin graveyard you tend.

You wondered if it was what you deserved the sin of not saying anything, and it was fate that he'd always leave for you for the waterlily.

Yearning for the past was a mistake for the future you could no longer take back.

Outtake to connect to Dusk til Dawn Marastruck fic. Reader x JingYuan (Future) Shadow Member of the Quintet! Reader

Sorry "you cried later in the snowy white haired general arms. Reminiscent of what Blade once had.

"I couldn't keep him here"

"You cannot have it all" he stated practically to soothing you as you did Blade a hand stroking your hair.

"How about this, I have another task for you. We still have baby Bailu to look after… She won't run away as easily" he said sadly trying his best to cheer you up as you cried.

Your first love… and what's worse you had enjoyed what was lost in a domestic dream a silly childish fantasy that you had abandoned once you heard he loved another.

It hurt all the more when you heard from his lips who it was. But you bit your tongue and respected his wishes. To be the respectable, distant, and elegant paragon of vidyhyrdra virtue as expected to be as the sister of Dan Feng the high elder.

It hollowed you out even more so when both Blade and your brother were truly lost to you after the event that split the quintet. Now they and Jing liu had both had left for the wider world both unknowing of any past affections you had all shared for each other as confidants, friend,ss, and the quintet.

Truly you and Jing Yuan were all that was left along with poor baby Bailu, set to inherit the heavy burden of high elder.

#honkai star rail imagines #honkai star rail x reader #hsr blade #dan heng #male yandere x reader #yandere imagines #imbibitor lunae #hsr jing yuan #honkai star rail #jing yuan fluff #honkai star rail fluff #blade honkai star rail #blade x y/n #blade x reader #blade fluff #blade angst #dan feng #honkai dan heng #dan heng imbibitor lunae #dan heng il #renheng fic #renheng #dan feng x yingxing #yandere jing yuan #jing yuan x you #jing yuan x reader #jing yuan #jingliu #high cloud quintet found family #high cloud quintet

[krokusrambles]

Pain Remains - RenHeng

The face behind the silhouette In this world I made to be infinite But within the expanse, I finally see A world without you isn't meant for me - Pain Remains I: Dancing Like Flames - Lorna Shore

The gravest of sins. And he had never looked back. Never questioned it, never faltered.

Even as the chains dug into his skin and the darkness of the prison engulfed him, he could not bring himself to regret. He gritted his teeth and clenched his fists causing the chains to tighten around his arms. Even as he was sentenced to molt, left alone in this prison until his punishment would be enforced, he did not ask for their forgiveness. He felt regretful about the destruction he brought upon his homeland but even those words he could not utter because he knew he would do it again.

He's always known what it meant to be part of a long-lived species and to walk among short-lived species.

Yet, to see a beloved suffer and to be faced with the inevitable fate of a short-lived species was a torture he could not stand.

He had not intended to let go. He had not wished to lose control of his powers. But faced with the agonizing grief and despair over losing someone he cherished above all else had opened the gates to a destruction he had not wanted to unleash.

All he had wanted was for his beloved to remain by his side.

There was no meaning to his existence if he trod the path of life for ages without his beloved.

As he awaited his punishment in the endless darkness and the deafening silence, he could only pray that his next incarnation would not be left in the dark about his past deeds and all the worthwhile intentions he had, selfish as they were.

He wished he could spare his next incarnation the gravity of his sins, spare him from the disdain and hatred of the people he would face.

But for now, he could only hope his next incarnation would move forwards and not be bound by fragmented memories.

And that one day, he could gaze upon his beloved again.

And make up for the suffering he brought upon him in his selfish desires.

#renheng #刃恒 #blade x dan heng #honkai star rail #dan heng #blade #hsr #angst #sfw #my writing #try listen to that song and not think of these 2 #gotta post this before 1.2 #before all my hcs are knocked over the head lmao

[generalsdiary]

clouds leave no trace

High Cloud Quintet w/ mentions of the Trailblazer (gn!trailblazer pov)

warnings: spoilers if you haven’t done the Xianzhou Luofu main story

word count: 1.7k

a/n: this wasn’t planned, the words just came to me, hope yall like it, not beta read hcq means so much to me help

description: high cloud quintet romanticized (lore), a quick recap from Jing Yuan’s pov – basically poetic analysis of hcq history through Jing Yuan’s eyes (fluff, angst)

if you think Jing Yuan didn't love Blade think again. he is the youngest of the high cloud quintet, he grew up beside them- he loved them all. and they all adored him as well. to say he didn't care about Yingxing is ignorant. because he loved the arrogant short-life species swordsmith. he got older knowing he might outlive him, knowing he will watch him grow old, the way he'd cling onto him and use every moment to be beside him. in his home or Yingxing’s home he'd hold him in his arms, always giving him a back hug and chatting. as he would with Dan Feng, their fingers intertwining in a gentle intimate touch, he would hold him as well. the strict, stubborn high elder softening up once they all warmed up to each other. oh, the way Dan Feng would walk at a seemingly calm, fast pace to the young Jing Yuan's home for a moment, just a minute of peace, of tranquility. the high elder would draw his fingers through the long white hair, maybe even make a braid or two. he'd kiss Jing Yuan's temple and mumble how much comfort he gave him.

the three are so soft behind closed doors. and when the high cloud quintet would gather to drink and share stories, a rare occurrence, since they're usually on the battlefield, Baiheng and Jingliu would just smile; one's head on the other's shoulder at the sight of the arrogant craftsman, the stubborn high elder, and strategic cloud knight smiling at each other.

just like Jingliu would lean to kiss Baiheng's cheek after a warm story she'd share, chuckling in joy at hearing her speak in a happy tone.

the same way the older men would gravitate to Jing Yuan, furthermore the way Jing Yuan would cling onto both of them. overlapping as they share stories and drink their fill.

so when the time would come for all of it to fall apart when one died, the second met a fate worse than death, the third one was forced to reincarnate and the new one to be imprisoned, the fourth to lose her mind, what would be of the fifth one?

of the young boy in the beginning, and the man on that day. the general. who lost it all, his friends, his lovers, his everything. he cannot even allow himself to scream and cry and angrily throw a ceramic plate on the floor otherwise he'd get marastruck. yes, fully aware of what is left for him to do but suppress all emotions. fighting that Jingliu escapes somewhere safely, making sure Yingxing is banished and not captured, making sure the same fate meets the Imbibtor Lunae reborn- to also be banished and hopefully achieve what Jing Yuan knew his previous reincarnation oh-so wanted; freedom... and making sure that what happened to Baiheng stays secret and safe, making sure that her new reincarnation is alright- going from a Foxian to a Vidyadhara- he must've been so worried. he'd check up on her often, and ask about her dreams. the easy-going smile turning down for a second when she would say she doesn't have any dreams- the hope he'd feel when she'd tell him that after visiting the Astral Express once; she dreamt of being a Foxian pilot. he'd nod with that sweet smile and turn to leave. he says he never grew close with his master, Jingliu… because it is easier to say that than admit to the reality and the pain of losing someone he cared for so much.

after the banishment and when the dust settled, long before the nameless arrived… he sits under a ginkgo tree and decides to meditate. the weight of all that history and not one of the remaining ones remembers it for what it was except for him. so he meditates, clearing his head, and calming his own memories.

so when he meets Yingxing- with his youthful appearance- where Jing Yuan remembers him with gray-white hair and lilac eyes, he is met with dirty orange-red ones and dark hair, his voice rough and raspy in comparison to what the general remembers. the sting in his heart when he sees Yingxing’s hands shake, he knows how much the fact he cannot craft anymore must hurt him. Yanqing urges the general to make the arrest, yet he lets the fugitives go. not batting an eye, there's no more love on either side, no warm emotion that used to be there. but love isn't an emotion, it is a promise. a promise to be there when it is needed. and the promise is loud when he lets... Blade and Kafka leave. there's a longing in his chest for the strong embrace of his lover when Blade turns his back to leave, and he pushes those thoughts back.

so when the trailblazer meets him and he looks so warm, the sun-bathed kind general- they can see it on him, that warmth like he was loved and that he also loved. that he was held and he also held. he'd appear so soft, cuddly, endearing.. just an aura, a mere bright shadow of what he was. just an appearance, like a shell that used to be there. ash still shining some light, unlike the warm fire that burned with love.

he is the general of the Xianzhou Luofu and that is his number one priority. he uses this leftover love which rubbed up on him as a crafty mask, a decoy for enemies of the Seat of Divine Foresight.

unprepared he walks to see the Imbibitor Lunae. in his original form. his tongue faster than his mind as he calls him Dan Feng. the small smile colored with pain when he hears the words, "I'm not him", and the grief-filled nod he offers in return. still, he uses it all to the advantage of the Luofu.

he isn't grief struck, nor mara struck, he has immense control over his emotions, but when put right in front of the man his fingers just ich to hold his hand, well of course he slips up for a second, and no longer than that. he cannot allow himself, he does not allow himself. he is never weak.

so when... Dan Heng and... Bailu walk around Luofu and go to a sacred location finding themselves in an ambush, of course, he doesn't call reinforcements- that by itself could cause more trouble. he, still injured from his fight with Phantylia, comes to aid them and fight beside them.

and of course, he hangs his head low, his bangs covering both of his eyes when a reunion after seven centuries, if one could even call it that, happens. Blade insists that Jingliu fights him. clashes of swords fill his ears, Dan Heng's shallow breathing beside him as the two of them fight until Jingliu wins. he shuts his eyes tight when Blade falls down, his body making the stone ground crack from the hit, holding his own breath to hear when Blade’s lungs rise again in his immortal body. exhaling when the man inhales. one might say Dan Heng is newly reborn and has no memories of this. yet he dreams, and like all of his species, he regains those memories through his dreams even when he tries to ignore them. he knows, he remembers… he still wears the bracers he exchanged with Yingxing. Jing Yuan regrets he cannot stop them from fighting each other, his voice shaking at the end of the gathering.

it is obvious a side of him wishes it all to go back to how it was, yet those people he knew don't exist anymore. Dan Feng was killed by Jing Yuan's tongue, Jingliu’s gone by his own spear, he watched Yingxing turn into a mindless killer and Baiheng become an Abomination. and he could do nothing about it, as they all fell apart around him like ash floating in the air after the fire had been put out. they burned so bright.

the poor general. and Blade continues to travel with the Stellaron hunters, Dan Heng hides his form and travels with the Astral Express, Jingliu goes to a prison cell – even in the end he made an effort to divert her plans of which prison to go to, Bailu keeps working as a doctor and he still comes over occasionally to check up on her, hoping she remains well in this lifetime. his past friends (and lovers) are all, as he puts it, scattered to the wind.

all the history, the memories, the hugs he won't ever get again, the soft touches, warm beds, the kind words- the harsh words, the training, the glasses of alcohol, the soft lips on his... all lost, forgotten. and with his meditation- even he remembers only fragments- perhaps only the happy ones, maybe, if they don't hurt too much as Mimi's do.

so when the trailblazer walks into the Seat of Divine Foresight they see the general of the Xianzhou Luofu, one of the seven Arbiter-Generals of the Xianzhou Alliance's Cloud Knights, one of the Six Charioteers of the Xianzhou Luofu, the Divine Foresight, the strong, incredibly smart, strategic genius and powerful Jing Yuan, and also the dozing general, they see exactly who Jing Yuan chooses himself to present as. leader of the Luofu, mentor of Yanqing, older than any general so far, in an era of peace he fought to happen. the trailblazer doesn't see the past, and what he has been through to stand there and greet them with a smile. he shines like the sun because he burns like one. never-ending, bright, warm, golden. they won't see him crack, because he won't crack. he is incredibly strong mentally and keeps his emotions in check.

with the lazy smile that everyone knows too well and the deep-toned voice he'd greet,

"ah trailblazer, I've caught some free time, would you care for a round of starchess?"

a/n: amnesic meditation is a thing on the luofu where you forget certain memories* that is what I was referring to when JY meditated- it is canon he did that to forget Mimi btw. also the “love is a promise” yes is a reference to an episode of DW whr the Doctor says that line, I loved it had to include it

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