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that-struggling-writer-lh · 10 months

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Look How Pretty You Are.

No outbreak! No use of y/n!

WARNINGS: DBF! 18+ Minors DNI. This is smut! BIG age gap. (Reader is 22, Joel in his 40s) Unprotected p in v (don't be dumb). Praise, quite a quicky. Would love to write a part 2 to this, tbh.

WORD COUNT: 5.2k

Coming home from college in the summer meant two things. I was left to my own devices Monday through Friday, and weekends were crazy. Loud, party filled affairs my parents put on with the entire neighborhood being welcome. This summer was different, though.

Freshly graduated means that this summer was my last one before becoming a “real adult” as my parents put it, even if with the fancy business degree I’d likely just end up in the office dad’s contracting business. A silent, small building that was really just a way for calls to be directed to him from the desk, filtering the bullshit and getting to the point. The click clack of fingers on the keyboard as I did payroll, budgeting, projections, ad flyers. The works. Most of the work was boring, lonely. Silent.

“Hey, can you run to the store for some beer? Mixers? Snacks?” Dad’s tall figure peeked into the office, clothes covered in sawdust, face covered in sweat. “Friday night and all now that you’re old enough to make those kinds of runs. It’s quiet today. Let yourself off early.”

I mulled it over momentarily, not really wanting to go shopping for my parents’ party. But knowing it might get me into the party this year, when all previous I’d been asked to stay inside, book in hand, or movie playing loudly to try to drown out the noise of splashing in the pool, hollering and dancing to upbeat music on the porch, “Sure, I can do that. If I can actually attend this year.”

My father ran a hand through his thinning hair, “Alright, sure.” he shook his head in a “no” motion, but the verbal okay was all I needed.

A smile tugging my lips, “Give me your card?” I motioned for the wallet tucked into his opposite hand, grabbing my car keys and nodding.

“I’ll also keep you on the clock until five if you do a favor for-”

“What? What favor?” slight annoyance tugging at my stomach, but knowing that extra money coupled with the prospect of a night drinking with the neighborhood was too good to pass up.

“Joel sent his grocery list. With Sarah away now, he’s having a hard time remembering these things. He asked if maybe you’d be willing to lend him a hand there, and I said sure.”

“As long as he fixes that shelf in my closet like he promised five years ago.” I tore the slip of coffee stained notebook paper from my father’s hand and eyed it carefully after remembering the shelf that had broken above my head in my bedroom closet while moving out for my first year of college. Dad promised it would be fixed before I was home for Thanksgiving and Christmas, five years later it was still impossible to put any items above my head to sit on the wood.

“Consider it done, I’ll have Joel get on it next week.”

Steak, chicken, snack food, rice, potatoes. “Can I add things? Is this really all he eats?” I raised a quizzical eyebrow, “how is he still alive?”

My father laughed softly, “Sarah used to do all that, just take his card and grab what you think he’ll like, I guess.”

Joel. The much older, very handsome man who had been the object of my desire since I was old enough to understand the term dilf, Joel. Always present, always prepared, my father’s best friend since High School. So extremely off-limits, even now that you’re an adult. It would only bring trouble.

My father handed the two credit cards to me. I guess today’s task was to be a personal shopper.

Joel, who I’ve had a key to his house since I was hardly ten years old, Sarah and I frequently needed it after school to group together to finish homework, raid the cabinets, and make messes through the home until her father would come back and scold us for being teenagers.

Joel, who was my first fantasy. Authoritative, but kind. Hard, but soft. Ruthless, but understanding of my and his daughter’s antics up until his tear streaked face sent both of us away to the same college, except I returned home and she found a job in the city.

Joel, even thinking of him at the red light while waiting to turn into the grocery store had me clenching my thighs together in my sundress, need filling me even when knowing I’d never get to taste.

The list focus. I got all of his essentials and then some, wanting him to be satiated for longer than the weekend, giving him options for the start of the week before he’d inevitably go back to fast-food runs between job sites.

After Joel’s list was taken care of, I shopped for the party, dividing the orders up before checking out and returning to town, stopping first at Joel’s house since his order had more need to go to the fridge than the alcohol and snacks my father had asked for.

Halfway through putting his order away and tidying a few other areas to be helpful, the front door opened, the sound of boots kicking off, Joel’s muttered voice so quiet I couldn’t hear it. I suppose he was used to talking to himself now, though.

“I thought I saw your car here.” his friendly tone rang from the kitchen entrance.

“Yeah, Dad gave me your list. So I figured I’d get it all set for you. I didn’t know when you’d be finished over at that apartment complex, so I- well. You know.”

“You tidied up?” he asked, looking at the organized dining table, and the lack of dishes in the sink.

“There were only a few things, I thought-”

“Thank you. I’ve been a mess with my little girl gone.” he smiled.

“She misses you. We called each other last week. Talked about the hell we raised here, how we were sure you hated us.” I laughed softly, closing the fridge and putting a box in the familiar cabinets, knowing this house as well as I knew my own.

“Nah, I could never hate you girls. Kids being kids, is all. I was young once, too.” he had a soft look of remembrance, looking at me like he was a million years away, “But you’re all grown up now. Well adjusted, smart, beautiful girl.” he sighed, rinsing out his coffee thermos in the sink quickly.

I had never heard him call me beautiful before, and my heart lurched at the compliment. Though, I’m sure he meant it in a far different way than I’d construed. Like a second daughter, like a neighbor across the street. Like someone he helped raise. Not like beautiful beautiful, “Thank you, Mr. Miller.” I smiled softly at his sentiment, anyway. Wiping down the counters when I’d finished, “I took the liberty of getting you some extras. Steak and potato diet only gets you so far.”

“Oh, thank you.” he sounded genuinely grateful, “I never know what to do, or what to eat, really. Sarah usually would-”

“I know, she’s a great cook.” I giggled, showing him the receipt that I’d crumpled in the pocket of my cardigan, placing it in his hand, “Here’s the damage.”

He looked everything over carefully, “That’s fine.” he nodded, “Thank you. But, don’t call me Mr. Miller. That’s weird.” he smirked, “Just Joel. Same as always for the last 22 years.”

“Sorry.” I laughed shyly.

“I’m gonna hit the shower before heading to your folks’ place.”

“Okay. I’ll see you later, Joel.” I smiled softly and he rested his hand on my lower back as he brushed by me to create space between himself, me, and the kitchen island. Such a simple gesture, but the placement was new. Usually he’d touch my shoulder or ask me to step aside for him.

I tidied the magazines and newspapers littering the coffee table, dusting the surface with a cloth before I left, I debated on vacuuming but left the rest as is, I’m not his housekeeper. I’m not replacing Sarah. He’s grown, he can take care of it, surely. Before I had time to slip back into my flats, the water was already off and the bathroom door was opening. I turned away as I folded the throw blankets and Joel’s surprise at seeing me still in his house was obviously justified, “Dammit, you scared me!” he clutched his abdomen and sighed in relief, “What are you still doing here?” not angry, quizzical.

“I noticed some magazines all out of place, so I thought I’d do that. But then I saw dust, and then the blankets- sorry, Joel. I didn’t think you’d be so fast.” I let out a breathy laugh and turned to face him for just a moment before covering my eyes up again. He was only wearing a towel, water droplets decorating his toned frame, dripping from his soft, curly hair that’s been made slightly gray over the years.

He sighed, not in frustration. Just a sigh, “You don’t need to take care of me like this. I’m fine, Sweetheart. Really.”

“I know. I just. This house is so special to me. I practically grew up here.” I looked to the location of the coffee table and could practically see Sarah and I grunting to move it aside and lay a million blankets and pillows out on the floor for our sleepovers. Popcorn kernels and candy all over the floor, empty box of pizza that Joel would have helped us scarf down before disappearing into the backyard or the master bedroom to leave us alone for the remainder of the evening. He never lingered too long, never tried to be the cool dad. Knew when it was time to leave his daughter and her friends alone.

His tone was even softer now, “It is a pretty special place, huh? Your Daddy helped me build it from the ground up. Pouring that concrete, framing up the walls. Drywall, mudding, installing. This house was the best job I’ve ever done for my family. Promised so much.” I knew he was reminiscing about his wife who had passed away more than a decade ago. The way he looked so far away even though he was right there.

I dared to continue to keep my eyes on him despite his attire, “I miss her, too.” I said suddenly, his eyes flitted to mine and he smiled weakly.

“Why don’t you head on home, Dollface? I saw all the bags you still have to unpack over there in your car.” He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, adjusting his towel to ensure it was secure enough.

My mouth ran dry at the sight of him, I felt so guilty for it after such a tender moment, “Sure. Enjoy your groceries, Joel.” I smirked and slipped into my shoes, letting myself out and backing from his driveway into mine. Perks of being across the street.

My parents had yet to return, so I quickly unloaded and prepped the snacks into serving trays and bowls, put the booze on ice in coolers and began dragging everything to the backyard, filling the picnic table by the pool with things to eat, cooler resting on the ground beside everything else.

I made myself busy getting ready, slipping from my work clothes to a black bikini covered by shorts and a plain off-shoulder long sleeve shirt. The sun would set soon, dropping the scorching temperature. I added a soft lipstick and touched up my makeup, keeping my hair down. By the time I finished I could hear the familiar bustle of my folks in the kitchen, prepping for the grill and salads.

I offered a hand in the kitchen, as typical and my mother handed me a large knife, “Quarter the cucumber and dice some tomato for the salad, please.” she instructed as my father poured seasonings into a dish of various cuts of chicken.

I set to work, “I dropped that stuff off for Joel, Dad.” I started, and he hummed in response as a thank you.

“Thanks, baby.” he said as he massaged the seasonings into the meat, “He just needs a little hand for now is all, I’m sure in a few weeks when the busy season is over he’ll be right. Maybe it can be a regular thing, if you wouldn’t mind.”

“No, I don’t mind. I miss being there all the time, anyway. Such sweet memories from growing up in that house.” I mused, the rhythmic chopping on the cutting board in front of me keeping me at a steady pace.

“How is Sarah, anyway? Talk to her lately?”

“Fine, she likes her new job, dating around a little. Nothing major aside from roommate drama. She doesn’t like apartment life.”

“Not like being roommates in the dorms with you, huh?”

I scoffed softly, “Evidently not.”

The small talk continued until we opened the front door for our neighbors and Joel was first over, as typical. He and my father sat poolside in lounge chairs, beer in hand laughing and talking like usual until others joined them.

I found myself watching him from the window above the sink as I scrubbed at the dishes left behind, watching his dimpled cheek when he smiled, the curve of his mouth around the glass bottle, how he would scratch at the stubble on his cheeks when thinking. I could see their bottles were nearly empty, so I finished scrubbing a pan and headed to the yard, opening a cooler and grabbing three bottles, two for the men, one for me. I cracked mine first and took a swig, then cracked the other two and brought them over, “Noticed you guys were looking a little low.” I eyed Joel instead of my father.

“Why, thank you, Dollface.” Joel smirked and held the drink up in a cheers motion, “What a sweet girl you have, Jimmy. Always looking out for the guests.”

“She learned hosting from her Mama, Joel. Certainly not me.” my dad quipped, nodding a thanks to me as I handed them each a bottle.

I felt a blush creep up with how Joel was examining me, and I wondered if that was the same way I was watching him earlier. He took the bottle from my hand and pushed further, “While you’re being so gracious, can you get me a little snack while we wait for the others to get here? Feelin’ a little peckish.”

I smirked and faked an annoyed eye roll, “Yes, sir. Welcome to my restaurant. What would you like?”

Joel laughed at that, “Surprise me.”

I made my way to the snack table and loaded a small plate with cheese, crackers, meats, and cold veggies, bringing it back to the familiar man, “Careful, there’s poison somewhere in there.” I joked and his smile broadened.

“Thank you, Sweetheart.”

“You’re welcome, Old Man.” I quipped back before returning inside to clean up the rest of the mess and my father laughed.

Before it was fully dark outside our backyard was full of people. I made light of the event, socializing, recapping the last four years of my time away with neighbors. I kept nursing drink after drink to help my nerves keep calm, my social meter tapped out by around ten p.m with hours left to go.

I stepped inside and retreated to the bathroom to get just a single moment where I didn’t have to talk to anybody, the harsh lighting burning my blurred eyes after spending hours in the soft lighting of the backyard.

I splashed a little water on my face and when I opened the door I gasped to see Joel standing there, “Oh, sorry, Sweetheart.” his eyes burned the same color as mine, lids heavy with drink.

“It’s fine, Joel.” I nearly pushed by him but his smirk stopped me.

“I’m not Old Man anymore?” he towered over me, and this close I had to look up to meet his eyes.

“Oh, you’re still old.” I giggled, the quiet of the house was a complete contrast to the music coming from outside. The rest of the party dancing, socializing, drinking.

He hummed in response and set his hand on my waist, looking into the bathroom, “You done in here or can I take a piss, Gorgeous?”

I flushed instantly, “Sorry, sir.” and stepped aside.

His eyebrows raised softly “So tense with me. Almost like-”

“Almost like what?” my heart began drumming inside of my chest.

“Nah, nothing.”

I pushed by him and let him in, closing the door behind me with a “You need to fix my closet next week, Joel.”

“Anything for you, Babygirl.” he called from behind the closed door and I felt myself melting inside.

“Promise?” I giggled, pushing the boundary thanks to the mixed drinks in my blood.

Silence for a few moments, running water, and then the opening of the door, something had changed in his eyes in the few moments from behind the barricade of the door. “Of course, Sweetheart. Anything.”

I swallowed a lump in my throat and felt my eyes close softly unconsciously. I snapped them back open, feigning off embarrassment.

“You’ve been acting strange since you moved back home. Everything okay?” he sounded concerned.

“Fine. It’s-” I almost admitted it was him. I shut my mouth before I could say anything sober me would regret.

His full lips tipped up into a half-smirk, “It’s. It’s. It’s-” a pause, he wanted me to continue, “Spit it out, Doll. What’s bothering my girl?” his tone was the same as it always was when I was needing advice growing up, but his eyes were darkened.

“You.” I whispered so quietly I wasn’t even sure I said it or if I just thought it.

“Me?” he said after a long pause, furrowing his brows.

“It’s- Nevermind. So stupid of me.” I turned on my heel and started away from him, but he grabbed my wrist carefully to stop me.

“You’re not stupid.” his eyes held promise. Safety.

“If I say what’s on my mind you’ll change your mind, Mr. Miller.” I felt smaller than a mouse at that moment. The liquid courage pushed me on as he continued to press.

“I promise. Nothing you say could ever change my mind.”

“I’ve been acting weird because of you.” his hand was still gripping my wrist and his hand tightened for a fraction of a second, my skin burned deliciously at his touch.

“Have I done something wrong?” he asked cautiously.

“The opposite.” my voice was still a whisper, and his was dropping now, too. Reading that this was a conversation better kept private.

He hummed again, “Do you-”

“Since I was a teenager I’ve had a crush on you. The older I get the more I can read you. The older I get the more I-... The more I cannot think about anything else but how it would feel to-” I stopped. Stupid. “Stupid.”

“No.” he shook his head, “I’ve been watching you the last few months.” he admitted, “You’re not a little girl anymore. Far from it. A gorgeous woman. You’re not stupid for thinking, but it could cause issues.” his eyes held concern.

“With Sarah.”

“And your old man.” he finished my thought.

“You-you feel it, too?”

He nodded once, a silent reply.

I stared at his lips suddenly. Then his eyes. Feeling my reserve crumbling around me, hoping his was, too. I turned my figure more toward him and he pressed his spare hand, still damp from washing into the small of my back, still gripping my wrist with his free hand. “Are you going to kiss me, Joel?” the silent, darkened hall and our hushed voices would raise alarm for anyone within earshot. Thank God we were the only ones in the house.

He didn’t answer with words, but let my wrist go and cupped my jaw in his hand, pressing me against his toned body, hands all rough from his job. Hesitantly, slowly he was leaning down to my level before his breath hit my lips and he stopped. Knitting his brows together, biting down on his bottom lip. He was fighting a war in himself, one that he was going to lose. “Please, if you’re going to kiss me… Please. I’m begging.” I shot my eyes back to his as my whimpered plea ran out of my mouth like a track star and he was pressing his lips against mine in no time at all.

Soft, tangy with beer. Electric. Everything I had ever dreamed of. I gasped as my senses were overloaded with him, and he wrapped his arm around me tighter, his grip on my jaw was iron. I placed my hands on his chest and he mistook it for pushing him away, “God, I-I’m so sorry-” he started, but kept his hands in their places.

“No. I’ve waited ten years for this moment.” I admitted, looking up at him through my lashes, “please don’t be sorry.”

He reconnected his lips to mine, taking advantage of the still quiet house before pulling me into the bathroom and slamming the door shut behind him.

I leaned my back against the counter and wrapped my arms around his broad shoulders, he was feverish. The way he clung to my hips in desperation, licking into my mouth at the added privacy of the bathroom. I allowed him access, moaning softly against his tongue, curling my fingers around the hair at the nape of his neck. He tasted like heaven. He pulled away again, and his eyes were almost deranged looking with a mix of emotions, “Fuck, we could get in trouble.” he whispered.

I felt wetness pooling into the bottoms of my bikini at the sight of him panting, flustered, red. The prospect of getting caught wasn’t going to deter me, though. Not right now, at least, I dropped to my knees in front of him and quickly undid his belt, “What are you doing, baby?” he cooed, running a hand through my hair.

“I’ll be fast.” I promised, looking up at him with doe eyes. I’d never seen him from this angle before, I figured if we were already in trouble I may as well make my fantasy come true.

He didn’t object, but nodded and let a shaky breath escape his parted lips as I made quick work of his button and fly, he shimmied his jeans off of his hips and let the dense fabric fall to his ankles, I gawked at his bulge for just a moment, gasping at the size and girth presented to me at eye level. I trailed kisses up his thighs, over the fabric of his briefs and along the bony ridges of his hips, “Please, Sweetheart. Hurry before we get in trouble.”

I pulled his hardened member from the top of his briefs and quickly sunk my mouth down around him, no teasing. No taking time. I took him as far as I could before the threat of gagging sprung on me, wetting him with my tongue.

“Nngh-Fuck. You’re not so innocent as you look, huh?” he grunted softly, his voice strained, bracing himself on the ledge of the counter behind me with his hands.

I hummed around him and he bucked his hips further down my throat, saliva dripping down my chin from the sudden movement. He pulled me off of his length by my hair and cupped my face in his hands, my mouth chased his throbbing cock as he removed me, “Joel, I just want to make you feel good.”

He nodded in response, closing his eyes to try to gain composure, “You are.” he whispered, pulling me up to stand by my hands, working at the button on my shorts, yanking them down and turning me around so I was facing the vanity mirror, hands roaming around underneath my sweatshirt, grasping my breasts while I stared at the two of us in the mirror.

“Fuck…” I whispered, looking at our crazy expressions. Lust-filled eyes, swollen lips, red cheeks.

“You’re beautiful.” he whispered, dipping his hand into my bikini bottoms, feeling my wetness while watching us in the mirror, keeping, “So wet for me.” he whispered against my neck, kissing softly.

I whimpered at the contact he made with my clit suddenly, and rolled my hips against his hand for relief, he pulled his finger away and licked my slick away, he groaned softly, “You taste like Heaven.” he bit my shoulder playfully and whispered against my skin, “You want me to fuck you? Right here, while the entire block is just outside?”

My legs trembled at the image that flashed in my mind, and I nodded quickly.

“Use your words, Sweetheart. I need to hear you.” his hands traveled the curve of my thighs and ass, squeezing the plush flesh.

“Yes, Joel. I want you to fuck me while everybody is just outside. While it’s so easy for us to get caught, I want you to fuck me so good I can’t even remember my own name after.”

“Good girl.” he untied the rest of my bathing suit and let it drop, fully exposing my lower-half to him. Both of us were only wearing our shirts now, he trailed his fingers delicately over my skin and kept his voice low. “You have to be silent, baby. Silent.” his eyes showed concern, “Be a good girl for me and nod that you understand. Show me how silent you can be.”

I nodded once in confirmation, clenching around nothing aside from the prospect of being filled up by Joel Miller.

He kept his eyes on my face from the mirror as he pumped his hand up and down his cock a few times, readying himself for me, running the tip along my slick and pushing the tip in. “You’re so goddamn tight,” he cooed and my eyes rolled back at trying to suppress a noise that threatened to erupt from the depths of my soul at him splitting me open for him, slowly easing in centimeter by centimeter. Too tight for him not to savor the feeling of me throbbing around him.

“Joel.” I whispered, hardly audible.

“Silent.” he warned, a crazed look in his eye as he stilled his movements.

I nodded, and he wasted no more time stretching me slowly along his cock, he pushed in hard and fast the rest of the way. Watching me fall apart and lean against the counter for support.

I opened my mouth and forced myself to make no sound, grinding my hips back against his as he panted softly, stilling when he filled me to the hilt, “So good, baby. Such a good girl.” he gripped my hips hard and picked up a slow rhythm, filling me and then retreating fully. Teasing that delicate spot so deep inside my own fingers can never reach.

I whimpered softly, hardly a sound at all and he snapped his hips against my ass, “So pretty like this. Staring at yourself getting fucked by your father’s best friend. So obedient and quiet for me.” he watched us in the mirror, my face red from suppressing myself. Knuckles white against the edge of the counter.

His hand snaked around my hip to my stomach, trailing down until he found my clit, rubbing deliciously slow circles around the sensitive bud.

I couldn’t help it, the feeling of being full to the brim and the added pleasure from the sensitive spot forced me to release a moan of pure bliss, “That’s so good.” I let out, and he clamped his other hand over my mouth, shaking his head quickly and pulling out of me.

“On the floor, lay down.” he pointed to the floor and I laid on my back, he fit himself between my knees and covered my mouth again, using his other arm to support his weight above me. “Silent. This is your last warning.”

I nodded, eyes wide, boring into his serious, caramel colored irises.

He snapped his hips to mine, this new angle filling me even better, and his pace was fast, desperate, hard. He never took his hand off of my mouth the entire time he whispered praises against my neck while he bit, kissed and licked my tingling skin.

I stayed silent for him, taking in his hushed praises through heavy lids and flushed skin, My breathing hitched as I felt the waves of my orgasm begin to ripple through me.

“Cum for me, Sweetheart. I want to feel how good my cock is to you.” he pressed his hand down more firmly, a reminder of my task. Silence.

My eyes rolled back sharply as I arched into him, clenching desperately as his cock, breathing labored as my nails clutched into his hips, leaving small crescent shaped marks in his skin.

“Good girl. Good girl. Look how pretty you are when you fall apart for me.” he bit his lip as he continued his pace, riding out my high while chasing his own, and I held my breath against his hand.

It wasn’t long after mine that he began to crumble, his pace faltering, his breaths ragged as he ground his hips against mine slower and slower. Softer and softer. He pulled himself out of my throbbing pussy and let his warmth burst out over my thigh.

Finally removing his hand from my mouth I clutched the fabric of his shirt desperately, pressing his lips to mine. He grunted against my lips; a satisfied, unconscious noise. When he pulled away and pressed his forehead against mine, I could only imagine the expression I was making for him. Fucked out, touched out, desperate to take him again. Properly, not on the bathroom floor while a party raged on around us outside.

As if having the same thought, he cleaned me up with a washcloth from the linen closet and slipped into his jeans, buckling the belt. “Go to your room and wait a few minutes. Don’t wanna look suspicious.” he shrugged.

“Right.” I nodded, scrambling for my shorts and grabbing the bikini bottoms from the floor, only bothering to put the shorts on before pushing the door open and hurrying to the stairwell.

“Wait.” Joel’s voice was a harsh whisper, and I turned to face him, “Let’s do this properly next time.” He suggested, “Not in a bathroom.”

I nodded once before running up the steps, feeling empty now that he wasn’t buried inside of me but knew time was of the essence right now. I figured I’d make up some excuse about being clumsy and spilling a drink or food on my outfit and that’s what took me so long inside, fabricating a lie I’d hold onto forever if I had to. Ensuring that nobody would ever find out about the questionable dynamic of Joel and my now extremely complicated relationship.

When I returned outside around ten minutes later, I was thankful nobody batted an eye. Nobody missed me, and Joel was making himself busy at the snack table, popping a pretzel in his mouth and chewing with a knowing, cocky smile on his face.

“There’s my girl.” my dad’s voice cut through the yard and I snapped my attention to him before I could fall apart looking into the eyes of his best friend.

#joel miller x reader #joel miller #pedro pascal characters #joel miller smut #female reader #tlou fanfiction #dads best friend

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shinyopal · 1 year

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random mys headcanons that have nothing to do with anything (mostly garroth and laurance tbh)

Garroth doesn’t like carrots

Laurance can’t skate

kc/nana did roller derby

Laurance has a belly button piercing (cadenza did it one night in the middle of his grade 11 year bc they were bored)

no one knew about the piercing, including garroth, for a long time, and garroth found out first anyways

Garroth found out bc his shirt rode up or he was wearing a crop top (idk which) when they were hanging out outside of school one day

dante hates socks

zane loves them

nana likes toe socks

vylad doesng like shoes and would be barefoot all the time if he could be

aphmau HATES pants but wears them anyways

vylad did figure skating before he transitioned

travis did gymnastics

Laurance is like 5’9

Garroth is like 6’2 or 6’3

sometimes the higher difference flusters laurance even if it isn’t much

when aph is being feral garroth just picks her up and throws her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes

laurance swears like a sailor

Laurance has heterchromia but i’ve already spread my propaganda about that

Laur and Gar went to prom together “as friends” but both were like ‘omg it’s like a date’

Garroth listens to pop-punk music (Zane showed it to him originally and he just ended up really liking it)

He also makes people playlists, but not of their music tastes, he makes them based on songs he likes that reminds him of them

Laurance got a CD for his birthday one year

Laurance smoked in highschool but quit early-mid university

Garroth and vylad LOVE spice

zane can’t handle it

nana likes spice too

aaron prefers sweets but gets hot sauce as gifts (he sneaks it into nanas cupboard)

aph has a full length mirror in her room bc she likes to sing and dance into it like she’s in a movie

Laurance did the rice purity test and got higher than everyone thought he would (other than garroth bc they’ve told each other everything since like grade ten)

Laurance has very feint freckles that you can only see when you’re very close to his face

Garroth loves his freckles

Laurance likes mug rootbeer

he can also do the thing where you take the bottlecap off using his shirt

garroth and laurance wait for each other after practice in highschool

zane and vylad go to every game garroth has that they can make it to because their parents don’t care enough to go (i’m a bad ro’meave parents truther)

zane has a shellfish allergy

vylad has celiacs

katelyn is lactose intolerant

katelyn is also v buff

garroth does ballet in his free time

aaron has a very big dog (like a newfoundland) and his name is rug

dante is epileptic bc i am and i said so

laur calls like everyone baby girl or something (he calls garroth baby boy sometimes and it makes him go beet red)

zane is a bluey enjoyer

i have so many more pls ask me about my random headcanons, i also have less random ones and ones that interlace but that’s for another post

314 notes · View notes

missroki · 4 months

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WELCOME TO THE COOK BOOK (MUTUALS LIST!)

listed down below are all of my beloved mutuals. even if we don’t talk often, i see you and i love you! you pop up on my dash and my day gets just a little bit better. a lot of these recipes came directly from the person they’re linked to while others are based on how I perceive you. if you’re missing from the list, let me know! sorin.

AALI — strawberry danish with a custard filling

NEESIE — brown sugar and cinnamon oatmeal

LORELEI — apple pie with a scoop of vanilla icecream

DIVI — the vanilla ice cream on the side of lorelei’s pie

MELLO — hot chocolate fudge ice cream bar

LOLLY — blackberry cheesecake with a graham cracker crust

NARA — chocolatey brownies with a deep coffee taste

SPONGE — vanilla sponge cake (of course)

SUKI — multi-tier princess cake with pearls

OAK — iced cinnamon rolls

V — peach crisp parfait pops

MASIE — caramel icecream

BRIA — strawberry shortcake with whipped cream

LUMI — peach cobbler

PARADIS — traditional italian tiramisu

LONI — ichigo daifuku

JADE — peppermint fudge squares

LILY — banana nut muffins

VENECIA — tres leches

TAY – juicy red candy apples

ELLIE — cinnamon rolls

VEGAS — key lime pie

CELLA — cinnamon banana bread

TALLULAH — rice and peas with oxtail gravy

DEJA — mom’s pot roast with garlic mashed potatoes

NIKKI — nigiri style sushi

SEL — bibimbap with gochujang-honey-sesame sauce

POOH — samp and beans

DUSA — spicy ramen with a fried egg and bean sprouts

BRI — lasagna

LUNA — classic chicken pot pie

MONTY — bulgogi rice bowl

SAINT — chicken club sandwich

KENDALL — caldo verde with a fresh loaf of bread

DEE — creamy chicken alfredo with broccol

MACARONI — mac n cheese (obviously!)

MARQUIE — classic pan seared potstickers

RHY — a turkey and swiss sandwich on rye bread (get it?)

JEN — jerk chicken and rice

CALLIE — sichuan chicken with broccoli and cabbage

ISLA — sushi

SAE — veggie rice noodle stir fry

ARI — lemon pasta with fish sauce and thai chili

VIOLET — mushroom risotto

#‧₊˚ ⏲️ ۫ ⭒ — navi.#‧₊˚ 🍳 ۫ ⭒ — cook book.#do not steal or copy my theme or graphics #best viewed in light mode

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ultimate-soup-showdown · 1 year

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THE ULTIMATE SOUP SHOWDOWN BRACKET

I will post 2 polls a day for round 1, each lasting a day!

ROUND 1 CONSISTS OF THE FOLLOWING!:

tomato v potato leek {WINNER; TOMATO}

cereal v pozole {WINNER; POZOLE}

peanut v tom kha {WINNER; TOM KHA}

zuppa toscana v gumbo {WINNER; GUMBO}

chili v butternut squash {WINNER; CHILI}

albondigas v potato {WINNER; ALBONDIGAS}

broccoli cheddar v pumpkin {WINNER; BROCCOLI CHEDDAR}

tom yum/hot&sour v sinigang {WINNER; TOM YUM}

ramen v french onion {WINNER; RAMEN}

coconut curry v alphabet {WINNER; COCONUT CURRY}

beef stew v taco {WINNER; BEEF STEW}

italian wedding v pho {WINNER; PHO}

chicken v cheese {WINNER; CHICKEN}

ocean v clothes from the soup store {WINNER; SOUP STORE}

laksa v corn chowder {WINNER; LAKSA}

sopa e la minuta v palak paneer {WINNER; SOPA E LA MINUTA}

egg drop v udon {WINNER; UDON}

matzoh ball v tortilla {WINNER; MATZOH BALL}

pea v vegetable {WINNER; VEGETABLE}

carrot v miso {WINNER; MISO}

gazpacho v chicken dumpling {WINNER; CHICKEN DUMPLING}

zurek v minestrone {WINNER; MINESTRONE}

cream of chicken&wild rice v lobster bisque {WINNER; CREAM OF CHICKEN&WILD RICE}

clam chowder v baked potato {WINNER; BAKED POTATO}

noodle v family recipe {WINNER; FAMILY RECIPE}

lentil v bean {WINNER; LENTIL}

borscht v mushroom {WINNER; MUSHROOM}

wonton v goulash {WINNER; WONTON}

chicken noodle v crab {WINNER; CHICKEN NOODLE}

andy warhol soup painting v lava {WINNER; LAVA}

avgolemono v caldo verde {WINNER; AVGOLEMONO}

soondubu jiggae v pasta e fagioli {WINNER; SOONDUBU JIGGAE}

#soup showdown #soups round 1

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foundationhq · 1 month

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As you login to a work computer at Site-φ’s main base, you notice a new notification in your SCiPNET inbox. As the computer renders the splash image at a snail's pace, you squint at the title. The Phi-thon? It turns out to be a monthly newsletter... but what catches your eye is the announcement of a new member for THE BROKEN SCALES OF THEMIS.

𝑴𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒉𝒍𝒚 𝑺𝒑𝒆𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒍 𝑴𝒆𝒏𝒖

The monthly menu for March, as curated by CHEF DE CUISINE Fulgence Carême, will be available for a limited time alongside the regular menu with meat, fish, vegetarian, as well as vegan options for our staff.

BREAKFAST (6AM - 10:30 AM)

Sausage Royale Croissant Roll with cheddar cheese, beef sausage patty, two strips bacon, fried egg. Garnished with dill and parsley. With spiced ketchup to taste.

Salmon Belly Royale Croissant Roll with wild salmon, crème fraîche, spinach and collard green hollandaise, topped with ikura-style salmon roe and salmon skin cracklings.

Mushroom Royale Croissant Roll (V) with grilled portobello, cremini, and king oyster mushrooms, crispy shallots, onion jam, and a herby rosemary sauce.

LUNCH (12 PM - 5 PM)

Cheese & Leek Croquettes with yukon gold potatoes, confit pearl onions, and black garlic chips.

Soft-shell Crab Tempura Burger with deep-fried whole soft-shell crab, pickled cabbage, sorrel, arugula, iceberg lettuce, ponzu vinaigrette or parmesan mayo. Comes with old bay fries.

Heirloom Tomato Preserve Flatbread (V) with arkansas traveler, aunt ruby's german green, hillbilly, and purple calabash varieties. Comes with olive oil and balsamic vinegar dip.

DINNER (5 PM - CLOSE)

Slow-roasted Pistachio Lamb with mint and pistachio crusted lamb leg, roasted cauliflower and new potatoes, horseradish cream, and truffle-infused gravy.

Pan-seared Yuzu Scallops with hazelnuts, clementine slices, and yuzu beurre blanc sauce. Comes with a light slaw salad.

Crispy Hen-of-the-Woods Mushroom Platter (V) with a medley of grilled wild mushrooms, artichokes, asparagus, and quinoa-wild rice pilaf. Garnished with walnuts and vegan pesto.

DESSERT Fresh seasonal berries with Chai-spiced Clotted Cream with strawberries, blueberries, currants, blackberries, and gooseberries. Chai spice contains clove, cinnamon, nutmeg, cardamom, and ginger.

Coffee Caramel Frozen Brazo de Mercedes with blended coffee ice cream, peanuts, cashews, and warm caramel sauce.

Vegan Raspberry Coconut Mousse Parfait (V) with silken tofu, agave syrup, raspberries, and layered with vegan dark chocolate cookie crumble, and topped with roasted coconut shavings.

𝑾𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝑾��𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈

All personnel please be advised that there is a WEATHER WARNING in effect from 0100 to 2400 on March 29th; heavy cloud cover is expected to sock in during the early hours, accompanied shortly by freezing rain and sleet. Blizzard conditions should be in full force before 0500. Barring direct orders from Site Director Osterholz or, if applicable, MTFC 𝑆𝑀𝑂𝑂𝑇𝐻 𝑂𝑃𝐸𝑅𝐴𝑇𝑂𝑅, any unnecessary outdoor activities should be curtailed. Remain indoors. Do not be alarmed when blinds are lowered and locked in position; this is normal procedure at Site-φ in the case of extreme weather. There is nothing to see in the snow. You are not missing out.

𝑪𝒉𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒏𝒖𝒕𝒔 𝒓𝒐𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒐𝒏 𝒂 𝑺𝒊𝒕𝒆-𝑨𝒑𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒅 𝑭𝒊𝒓𝒆

by SECURITY CAPTAIN J. Kato

How about that forecast, Site-φ! In honor of what’s probably going to be the last blizzard of the spring (don’t hold me to that, I’m no meteorologist! :D) Site Security will be hosting a bonfire at the campground the evening of March 28th. Come get cozy before the storm hits! BYOTTB (Bring Your Own Things* To Burn). *Adhering to all regulations re: flammable substances and safe use of the communal campground, found under Hazardous Materials (Reg. F-451) and Outdoor Recreation (Regs. C-10 through -14) in the Personnel Handbook.

RSVP! →

📍 all muses are welcome to attend this open event, taking place at the on-site campground on the evening of March 28th. These threads may be written whenever you like before the act closes, so long as they are dated to that time! several bonfires will be set and maintained by site-φ security personnel from nightfall to midnight. hot chocolate and non-alcoholic cider will be available; muses are welcome to bring food and/or shredder-ready paperwork, photographs of regrets, evidence of wrongdoings, unwanted papercrafts, and disappointing research to burn. there is also an optional interactive roll for a random [𝙲𝙻𝙰𝚂𝚂𝙸𝙵𝙸𝙴𝙳] element!

𝑭𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒌𝒊𝒆'𝒔 (𝑰𝒏)𝑭𝒂𝒎𝒐𝒖𝒔 𝑭𝒊𝒔𝒉

Following several hospitalizations linked to the most recent serving of Frankie’s Famous Fish last month, all waivers have been destroyed and future shipments of “fish” scratched from the order. Anyone who sees or smells “fish” should report this to Site Security. Site Administration would like to stress and remind personnel not to try Frankie’s Famous Fish at the cafeteria; do not believe the rumors the dish gives you powers if you survive. If anyone has seen Frankie, inform him that the HR Department and Director Osterholz desires a meeting. Immediately.

𝑫𝒆𝒇𝒆𝒏𝒔𝒆 𝑺𝒆𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒂𝒓 & 𝑪𝒐𝒎𝒃𝒂𝒕 𝑹𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔 𝑨𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕

The Security Department will continue to offer self-defense and weapons handling classes. Additionally, Op. 𝐷𝑌𝐼𝑁𝐺 𝐵𝑅��𝐸𝐷 has been ordered to conduct combat readiness assessments on all members of MTF Chi-00. When asked for comment, he replied: “That so?” and stated that they should “Be on time.” Requests for elaboration were met with a smile, precisely one nod, and what may have been a laugh. Additional, remedial seminars can be arranged with Captain Kato in advance of your assessment.

BOOK A TIME! →

𝐿𝑎𝑏 𝐴𝑝𝑝𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑠

Lab spaces may still be booked through the Head of Research at Site-φ. Please let them know what you intend to research, and be advised that lab space is in slightly shorter than usual supply due to “a Newt-related incident.” Newt, who is a good dog, does not understand what this could be referring to. Neither does anyone else who was in the lab at the alleged time of the incident. Head of research insists that Newt “knows what he did.”

SUBMIT A REQUEST! →

📍 players are welcome to request a lab space for their researchers by contacting rp mgmt. please note that requesting a space as a themis member would immediately jump the line of the other scientists at the site. some themis researchers, depending on their prestige, may be given a full team of lab assistants to aid in their noble pursuit to secure, contain, and protect.

𝑾𝒂𝒍𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑪𝒍𝒖𝒃 𝑺𝒊𝒈𝒏-𝑼𝒑𝒔

The Walking Club, a group of highly-intelligent pack of dogs, is looking for new members! remember — DON’T WALK ALONE. That is a formal directive, not a request. Joining the Walking Club is especially critical given the WEATHER WARNING soon to be in effect; any personnel who need to move between site buildings while the WARNING is active must contact the Walking Club. The correct way to contact the Walking Club is to step through the nearest door, close it behind you,* and whistle as loud as possible. If you are not a good whistler, that is okay! There is no such thing as a bad whistle if you put your heart into it! The Walking Club will still hear you and arrive shortly. *If Newt has chosen you as his walking buddy, you are advised to brace yourself against the door before whistling, to prevent injury.

𝑺𝒊𝒕𝒆-φ 𝑱𝒐𝒃 𝑩𝒐𝒂𝒓𝒅

The following “odd jobs,” which are in no way “odd” or “unusual,” are currently available, on an as-available, non-urgent basis, personnel schedules permitting. Consider being a Site-φ neighbor and lend a hand if you can!

GROW-LIGHT GARDEN ASSISTANT posted by HEAD GARDENER S. Oz Do you appreciate site-acceptable greenery? Do you feel “well”? Do you enjoy communing with the earth, unto which our mortal flesh will someday return, if we are lucky? Join the Grow-Light Garden Staff! BRING: your own garden-ready gloves and/or knee pads. DO NOT BRING: negative energies. Seriously. Do not. For everyone's sakes. EDIT: This position has been filled.

SUPPORT ARCHIVIST posted by HEAD LIBRARIAN and ARCHIVIST Dr. W. Zai While Junior Archivist M. Leitner recovers from unwise choices as regards his seafood intake, the Site-φ archives are in need of additional hands. These hands will, ideally, be experienced in standard archival procedures. EDIT: This position has been filled.

CONTACT NOW! →

📍 players are welcome to pick up supplemental odd jobs during their time at site-φ. you can pick up an odd job by contacting rp mgmt. however, please note that these listings are first-come, first-serve, and muses may be fired from their position if they are unable to fulfill the job’s requirements (posting a monthly prompt). however, these positions may also reveal more of site-φ’s mysteries. there is also an optional interactive roll for a random [𝙲𝙻𝙰𝚂𝚂𝙸𝙵𝙸𝙴𝙳] element!

𝑫𝒊𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒐𝒓 𝑶𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒛'𝒔 𝑨𝒅𝒗𝒊𝒔𝒐𝒓𝒚 𝑨𝒏𝒏𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒄𝒆𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕

𝑹𝑬: 𝑭𝑹𝑨𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑵𝑰𝒁𝑨𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵

by DIRECTOR B. Osterholz

Good evening. It has been brought to my attention that our new additions here at Site-φ may be in need of a reminder as to the appropriateness of fraternization among personnel at this highly clandestine installation. To reiterate what was stated during onboarding and in the welcome brochure: “making eyes,” “canoodling,” and/or “partaking in the horizontal tango” with fellow staff members is not allowed at Site-φ. As you all know, the nature of our work demands absolute dedication and focus. Surely any rumors of anyone engaging in such acts on-site are, indeed, no more than crass rumors to razz the newcomers.

𝑺𝒊𝒕𝒆-φ 𝑩𝒊𝒓𝒕𝒉𝒅𝒂𝒚𝒔, 𝑨𝒏𝒏𝒊𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑷𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍 𝑪𝒆𝒍𝒆𝒃𝒓𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔

Due to the sheer number of staff here at Site-φ, acknowledgments in the Phi-thon are through user submission. Thank you for celebrating your fellow Phi-thons.

𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑃ℎ𝑖-𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑛 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑤𝑖𝑠ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑙𝑙𝑜𝑤𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎… 𝐻𝐴𝑃𝑃𝑌 𝐵𝐼𝑅𝑇𝐻𝐷𝐴𝑌! JUNIOR ENGINEER K. MADDOW, March 4th Happy b-day, K!!! Engi life is the best life! Couldn’t have made that particle blaster without ya! See you at Holly’s, a round on us! — Your pals at Engineering. ASSISTANT RESEARCHER C. VATYA, March 13th The Site-φ Researcher will be 50 this year. Thank you for all your hard work, encouragement, and good humor. From all of us in the 'Pataphysics Wing of Research and Development, we wish our fellow a happy birthday. WELLNESS COUNSELOR J. Oyuun, March 20th “The best gift you could possibly give me is to attend your mandatory wellness assessment. Anything more extravagant would, in fact, be inappropriate, given the nature of our strictly counselor-to-client relationship. But I also wouldn’t say no to more crayons or holographic stickers from that one place in Hōuston…”

MTF CHI-00 OPERATIVE 52 PICKUP, March 20th Happy birthday. From a secret admirer.

If you’d like to announce or contribute to our monthly newsletter, contact the Phi-thon via SCiPNET. →

📍 players are welcome to guest write or submit an in-character announcement for the monthly newsletter by contacting rp mgmt! reach out to us for more details.

Please enjoy a complimentary All You Can Brunch Buffet Ticket from us at the Phi-thon. Please note these tickets are valid for one person for one-time use. As Director Osterholz has advised in previous Phi-thon issues, ticket trading is not permitted on Site-φ.

📌 OOC GUIDELINES & HINTS!

These listings are supplemental features for enhancing your experience immersing into Site-φ’s world. Feel free to interact in any shape or form, be it directly or indirectly referencing them for open and closed starters, pager chats, self-paras... and even doing TTRPG rolls, or conversing with the NPCs 1-on-1! Based on your muse’s movements, new information, features, and subplots may be unlocked as these plot points develop. This game is responsive to you; your actions will directly affect the environment. All in all, however you wish to spend your time at Site-φ, we hope that it'll be a fun and memorable experience!

#fhq.plot #fhq.phithon #fhq.plot.1.1

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stardew-shitposterino · 9 months

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WAIT NO CUTE CAN I GO FIRST

Personality:

-bit of an introvert (agoraphobia is strong with me 😅)

-pretty happy most of the time!! I try to be as optimistic as I can be

-that being said of course sometimes I crash really hard and just need a few days to get myself back into that happy mindset

-people pleaser, but not in the sense that I have no boundaries. I just really enjoy seeing people happy with life and if I can help bring some of that happiness to them, I will!!

-actually extremely insecure which makes me recluse

-more of a couch potato, sure I like to be outside and stuff but I’m not much of a hiker. I’d rather lay on a blanket outside n watch the clouds or something

Likes/interests:

-pink. Anything stereotypical “girly girl” (I hate overly gendered stuff but it’s the best way to explain it. Glitter!!! Pink!! Butterflies!!! Flowers!!! All of that stuff

-this doesn’t usually reflect in my style though because I v much am a drabby tshirt and sweatpants person 😭

-that being said I also DO love dresses!! Like a lot, just not super short ones. I feel like I’m too exposed 😭

-I v much do art, I like to read but I’m not HUGE into it. Prefer to read manga over novels for sure

-unfortunately a weeb

-cats!!!

-my fav foods are queso, Alfredo, and any kind of soggy rice 😅

-I prefer psychological thriller kind of movies that make your head hurt!!!!

-dnd/Sanrio/care bears/ I FUCKING LOVE COWS

-I’m also just about in my late 20s but idk if that’s an interest at all? 😅

-and obviously video games, but stardew is actually the only ‘cozy/life simulator’ game I’ve ever played. More into Zelda and assassins creed :)

I think that’s it :) I’m bisexual so I will be happy with a Bachelor and bachelorette!!

Ily thank u for taking ur time to do this 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

Oooh my first one ! This one is a bit tricky as I can see multiple matches for different reasons 👀 I’ll go with my gut feeling:

-Shane:

- I’m torn on him because there is a possibility of you two not being good for each other as you share some traits, but it could also be a possibility for you two to come to terms with your struggles (like insecurities) and find an open ear in one another.

-You both are homebodies and like similar kinds of food :D I could see you both ordering takeout and watching some new thriller that just released.

-Your more happy-mindset would also be a nice contrast to his more pessimistic outlook on life, but your “off-days” would show him that it’s ok to not always be 100% positive.

-He thinks you look so cute when you doll up and get all euphoric at your new clothes. Your interest in Sanrio would also be a good base for you and Jas to get along, two women in his life that mean a lot to him.

-he would be SO DOWN to play Tears of the Kingdom with you. Of course it’s a single player game, but just sitting next to each other and helping one-another out doing the quests on their respective switch, or just watching the other play and laugh at whatever stupid shit they can come up with instead of playing the main story hehehe.

-he likes chickens, you like cows, you two share a fondness of a cute farm animal, and it helps a ton with building up that relationship as you two like talking to them, or about them with each other.

-Abigail:

-It’s pretty clear why I chose her. She is a gamer, she loves adventures, she’s an introvert.

-you’re more a homebody, she’s kind of something in-between. You both can spend lazy Sundays together playing video games or you can go outside and wander around in nature or do something fun (if your agoraphobia allows it of course)

-the girl eats rocks…it’s save to say she’s more than happy to eat anything with you, so if you wanna eat rice or pasta every day, so be it.

-she’s not a girly girl, but I think she’d love to dye your hair at least once! You like pink, so why not get some colour in there that matches some of the dresses you wish you wore more often?

-I’m not sure whether she’d be a weeb, but she’d never say no to watching a Shonen anime with you, or even read the manga 👀

-Sebastian:

-why? He’s a nerd, he likes to be inside and play video games and code as his job.

-He’s an introvert like you, so he’d understand when you want to log off and be alone for a bit.

-You could watch movies together ! I HC that he isn’t that much into movies, but once he gets into it, he is very invested, so it could still work out !

-if you draw (because you said you do art), he’d be more than happy if you made some character models for the game he’s working on, or for his discord server etc. he isn’t the artsy type, so he’s more than impressed you are able to cook something up that looks incredible !

-he wouldn’t want to hike with you lmfao 😭 but he’d want to ride on his motorcycle with you, if you want to. Some adventure, but not too much physical activity, yet a lot of fun.

-He’s a weeb, your honour, I feel it in my bones. Do I have to say more ?

——————————————————————————

-all of them seem to be cat people (Shane might be a dog person, but for our sake I say he’s a chicken person and likes both cats and dogs alike, but chickens win) , so that’s also a plus for all :3

I hope you can sort of agree with my picks. Im sorry if I didn’t pick anyone you have hoped for, but I think these 3 are the best matches out of all the marriage candidates. I thought of maybe Leah, but your interest in art would be about one of the few things you’d have in common I fear. I think there are some others that COULD work, but when I read your summary, these came to my mind instantly lol.

Thanks for your submission !

#sdv inbox #sdv pairing #stardew valley #sdv #sdv bachelors #sdv asks #sdv shane #shane stardew valley #stardew shane #shane sdv #sdv sebastian #sebastian sdv #Abigail sdv #sdv abigail

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absentlyabbie · 2 months

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I think it's inaccurate and a little insensitive to characterize commenters on your rice vs potato poll as randomly racializing rice for no apparent reason, because rice really is and has been racialized. Not by individual Tumblr users, but by the norms of Western society as a whole. Cuisine doesn't exist in a vacuum, and it's weird to pin those norms on the people acknowledging them rather than the society that formed them. Just something to think about

you have entirely fair points, and i certainly didn't mean it to dismiss that. what struck me so strange about it was the designation of a preference or liking potatoes as automatically indicative of whiteness, which seemed to me at the time to dismiss how it is part of the food traditions of so many cultures around the world, interpreted in unique, creative, and delicious ways in every one.

i felt white people simply did not deserve credit for the general existence or popularity of potatoes, as we didn't discover, domesticate/cultivate it, or even innovate it in a dominating sort of way. the origin of domesticated potatoes lies in cultures of color in south america, and it just didn't seem right to cede it to whiteness as a given.

but again, you make extremely fair and valid points about not considering the reverse of it, that rice has been particularly racialized by white supremacist influence and western cultural domineering in a way that has far too often been given stigma or made derogatory, and it should have occurred to me take that in more as a factor.

#call and response #Anonymous #rice v potato

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maitaiwiththecorpses · 10 months

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Avoidance Of The First Class

Making this a separate post bc I absolutely died trying to find it again.

@queenofapeacefuldawn thanks so much for the idea and letting me use it! It was and honor!

Avoidance Of The First Class

Coming back to the museum for Thanksgiving was weird.

Her mom was determined to make a feast, celebrate with her sisters, and just be super festive this year.

Aru had a feeling Krithika Shah was feeling lonely.

In the time since the Potatoes had gone off to college, her mom had become besties with Malini across the street, and a painful dread came over Aru as her mom said, "This weekend, beti, we're going to have a big feast. Malini and I planned it! Isn't that exciting?" She asked, bustling around the kitchen.

"That's great, mom," Aru said. She slyly left the room, pulling her phone out and scrolling through her contacts till she found one at the bottom.

Aiden Acharya

She sighed and clicked on the contact, tapping out a hasty text to her ex-boyfriend.

Aru: Did you know about this dinner our moms are hosting? Aiden: Actually? Aru: Yes... You didn't tell her did you?

The palpable pause in the conversation made her heart sink They'd decided to not tell anyone they'd broken up, to keep the dynamic of the Potatoes afloat. Aru remembered that conversation, with both of them dripping in apathy. It was the worst thing to happen-

Aiden: No. Should I? Aru: I think we can get through a dinner. Aiden: Avoidance of the first class?

She thought about responding to that- it was hilarious, it was perfect, it was so utterly them.

Aru left him on read.

THAT SATURDAY, THE MUSEUM KITCHEN.

Brynne bustled around the kitchen with Krithika, stuffing the turkey and stirring the curry as Aru's mom rolled out the roti. Mini was washing rice and Rudy was working on tunes. Hira was watching the football game with Gunky and Funky as the twins set the table.

"Beta!" Malini called. Aru, who had been at the door of the kitchen on her phone looked up to see what all the commotion was about, when she saw Malini bringing Aiden to her.

What a momma's boy.

"I want you two to go back to the house and make the peas and mac and cheese. Oh, and take the turkey," she handed the tray to Aru, who scowled at the bird. "And don't come back until it's done cooking. If you two are going to sit around then I might as well get you out of the way."

Aiden nodded as Aru made her way out of the house, not wanting to deal with anyone else's bullshit. It's not her fault she arrived late!

When they got to Aiden's house, she threw the turkey in the oven without a single thought. "Woah, there Shah. You gotta baste it first!"

Aru stiffened, rolling her eyes. "Fine. You do it. I'm going to get the peas." Who was Aiden to behave like an authority to her?

She pulled the frozen peas out of the freezer and put them on a pan, turning the heat up and throwing frozen butter on it. She rummaged through a few drawers, looking for a spatula, when Aiden came up behind her, tapping her back and handing her the spatula. Aru felt the ghost of a hand around her waist, a phantom kiss on her cheek, and she practically shook at the memories of him cooking with her.

Krithika Shah wasn't the only one who was lonely.

It had been so long since she'd been around other human beings, since she'd occupied the same space as one, worked with someone. Aru had to remind herself to breathe.

We don't need Aiden anymore, Shah. She exhaled deeply, thinking back as to why they broke up in the first place.

=================================

"I'm gonna be moving around a lot, Shah."

"I can handle it."

A pause.

"I can't."

=================================

Photojournalism. His dream. His one passion.

Their downfall.

Aru snapped back into reality when the doorbell rang, frantically stirring the peas, praying that they hadn't burnt yet.

"Is Aru home?" A voice came from the door. Probably some estranged relative, looking to see 'how much she'd grown!'

"Uh, she doesn't live here," Aiden said, an edge to his voice.

Aru turned the stove off, and ran to the door to see...

Andy?

The blond boy from college who'd been on her debate team for finals?

"Hey, Andy... what're you doing here?" She asked cautiously.

"Oh! Aru! Hi," he waved, a small grin gracing his features.

"Hi?" Aru said lamely.

"Uh, I'm probably interrupting something, I can leave-" Andy's eyes ping-ponged between Aiden and her, and Aru desperately stepped out of the door, grabbing his arm.

"No, it's ok. What's up?" She looked at Andy searchingly- could this be the rebound she'd been looking for?

Andy took a deep breath, as if psyching himself up, and Aru heard Aiden shift behind them.

"I was wondering if you maybe wanna go get some coffee with me?" He asked hopefully. "Like. Now?"

Aru's heart sank a bit, despite having a cute boy actively ask her out. No, she couldn't go now, she was helping with dinner. She was spending time with her family. She was trying to get not-so-lonely.

But this was an opportunity to get not-so-lonely!

"Shah, did you turn off the stove?" Aiden asked, breaking the silence.

"Yeah, it's off," she said quietly.

"Aru?" Andy called softly. She hadn't answered him. Oh.

"I can't go right now, Andy. It's, like, Thanksgiving, and I'm spending time with my family-"

"Seems like an awfully small family with just your boyfriend," he mumbled.

"He's not my- Andy! Come on, you can't expect me to drop everything and be with you!" She yelled as he walked away to his car.

Rude.

She turned to Aiden, glaring at him like a surly teenager, and stormed inside.

She sat on the couch, flipping through the channels when Aiden came in, closing the door softly.

"I'm sorry he did that."

"What? Asked me out? Please," she scoffed. Aru sounded pathetic, and she knew it.

"That he doesn't understand how important family is to you," Aiden finished, leaning over to her. He put a hand on hers, and static shocked him a bit, but still Aiden would not move.

These things were always easier when she was with him. She didn't have to choose between spending Thanksgiving with family or him. They were one and the same.

He did this.

And I can't do it.

The oven beeped. The peas were loaded into a Tupperware container, and now all they had to do was make the mac and cheese.

As the macaroni boiled, Aiden and Aru bickered about what cheese to use.

"All of it." Was Aru's argument.

"Just the string cheese." Was Aiden's.

Aru won with her famous throw-all-the-shit-in-when-they-least-expect-it method.

The mac and cheese was incredible.

Aiden chopped up pieces of bacon to put in the dish before it went into the oven, and Aru made the most awkward conversation ever.

"So. What did you think of Andy?"

Aiden whipped his head to her at breakneck speeds. "He's... blond."

"He's quite nice."

"Not the most understanding one you've found," he remarked, going back to the bacon. Right. Andy had just thrown a tantrum.

Fucking hell, Andy, can't you just make my life easier?

"And you? How many girls have fallen over themselves to have you?" Aru eyed him, slowly stirring the thick mac and cheese.

"A few."

"And how many have you taken?" She asked sharply. He knew what she was asking, but he was making Aru spell it out.

He set the knife down harder than necessary, turning to glare at her. "None. You know that."

"Do I?" She said, raising her voice.

"Yes you do!" He yelled back. "I was ready to wait my whole life for you, I died for you, and I was ready to do it again!"

Right. Aru had forgotten about that part.

=================================

"I can't."

"Why not?" She was on the verge of tears.

"I can't handle being away from you. And I don't want you to waste your time waiting for me."

"Aiden."

"I'm setting you free, Shah. I'll wait and wait and wait my whole life, but the thought of you doing that..." He paused, as if picturing a horror. "You've got better things coming your way."

=================================

"You didn't need to do that," she whispered. It had been a hero-complex moment, unnecessary, unexpected, and painful for the both of them.

"Yes, I did," Aiden said, walking towards her. He reached behind her, turning the gas off, and then took her hands in his. She looked up at him, and in his eyes she knew she would find galaxies. She didn't look for them this time, though.

"Aiden," she said softly, as if that were it. That was the whole sentence, that was everything.

"I'm back, you know." This time she looked him in the eye, shocked.

"What?" She dropped his hands, moving out of being in between him and the stove.

"I did my work. I took my photos, got my money, and lived everywhere. I'm writing now. Poetry. I'll pair the photos I take with a few of them, but yeah. Basically," he shrugged. "I'm back."

"What about school?" She asked, ignoring that open-ended unsaid question. Him being back meant that she didn't have to wait any longer, and neither did he, and they could be together-

"Getting my degree in English. It'll be chill." Aru stared at him, shocked. "Shah, I came back because, sure, I'm tired of moving every month, but also..." He smiled gently. "Family, right?"

She put the mac and cheese in the oven, he sprinkled the bacon bits on top. Family.

"I don't want Andy," she said suddenly. "I don't want to choose family or dating, I don't want to wait for someone else to find me, and I don't want you to hide from me anymore." She glared at him, tears pooling in her vision.

"Oh, Shah," he said sadly, hugging her.

"Are you going to leave me again?" She asked softly.

Aiden paused thoughtfully. This wasn't hesitation, and she knew it. This was him thinking and calculating, giving her the most honest answer possible.

Because Aru would not accept lies.

"No, I don't think I could."

She slumped into him, out of relief, exhaustion, or just starved for comfort. "Good, cause I was dying of boredom these past few months."

He laughed and kissed her once, swiftly and softly, then pulled away searching her face for something telling him to stop. He grinned when he found none, Aru smiling softly, and she leaned in this time.

The oven beeped.

They brought the food to the museum, barely four hours later. No one knew that they had ever broken up, her sisters making jokes about them, her mom smiling sweetly at them, as if to say, "look at the happy couple," but Malini, she looked at Aru and winked.

"When you marry my son, Arundhati, you will mention me in your toasts at the wedding," she said, a hint of menace in the apsara's voice.

Family.

Things were easy with her family. Rarely simple, but easy, yes. She did not have to compromise on her values, she could eat happily, watch movies.

And in the middle of it all, Aiden would be there.

Because family, right?

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coldcrypt · 11 months

Text

I'm marco, 26yo cis guy from UK. I got into weight loss because I wanted motivation to stop drinking around april 2022, and ended up bingeing and purging on avg 3 times a week for abt 6 months. I relapsed back into daily drinking (litre+ of vodka a day) and detoxed in hospital at the start of the year, but have been finding it really difficult to stop and stay stopped, so I'm back here. I've nearly died so many times recently from drinking and I just keep gaining/getting more and more swelling &bloating. If any alcoholics/bulimics have advice for someone who cant stop shovelling it in to get a sustainable deficit, I'd appreciate it a lot. My goal is to be safe about it, but I'm open to anything that works.

I'm experimenting with different methods of weight loss, sometimes fasting, sometimes rezzing, but am very inconsistent. I binge v often. This is not so much an accountability blog, more like recording what I've learnt and just venting. My bmi starting around may20th was 22 ish, was 5th june 20, 4th oct 22.5,and now 20.5 jan27th. Have to get it back to 20, but goal would be 18 with low body fat %. My main goal is to stop drinking and get healthier (thinner).

To do list:

get compression sleeves for running

Things that worked:

going to meetings make it much easier to abstain and think abt other things than food -> much easier rezzing

being distracted by things unrelated to food

having good food options for rezzing prepped, like boiled eggs, or having a solid stock of staples like steak, yoghurt, fruit and veg

not buying food that I will binge on, if I buy it, even if its not for me, I will eat it and get fat

taking longer routes/walking instead of getting train (energy, weather and mood permitting)

peppermint tea

keep it in the day. One day at a time really works, it just takes practise to get into mentally

supporting blood sugar throughout the day, especially if going out/socialising/towards the end of the day (when alc cravings pick up). This is best done with small amounts of carbs following a rly high protein 1st meal

Things that I was doing before but that didn't work out well:

taking K supplements (just eat s. potato for carb allowance, is filling too and has loads of K, stops palpitations when intermittent fasting)

pho, miso or gochujang as soup bases. They are too salty and lead to painful sluggish bloat.

Oyster sauce is not worth the cals

Diet sodas. Caffeine dependence builds really quickly and teeth need help

olive oil for sautéing vegetables. Pointless cals. Fats can come from lean meats like beef steak, eggs and occasional avo as well as omega3 supplements

fasting. At 18 hours I feel like I'm goin mental and at 22+ the palpitations make it uncomfortable to move around or do anything at all

strength training (esp core) at home without equipment. Dont enjoy it at all, not motivated at all

watching hours and hours a day of ED documentaries, scrolling ED tumblr, and watching hours of foodtube every day. Obsession -> binges

hard avoiding carbs. Leads to massive brain rot and feeling morbid. Can't do anything. Inevitable binges, usually alcohol, or 4000 cal of food.

sushi is not really worth it. White sushi rice is too sugary. Its usually a carb craving in disguise, or something to get on the go and is expensive.

weighing every morning just lead to trying to use caffeine as lax and more chaos on energy levels, or obsessing and not being distracted.

Press ups make my joints click a lot. Planking is really boring and doesnt feel rewarding.

Using sex for stim instead of food and cooking

Curious about:

feta, olives and cherry tomatoes for satiety.

Broccoli and mushrooms (annoying to prep or dont taste nice when boiled)

chicken sausages for cheap lean protein (think they can be a binge trigger or lead to mental scarcity feelings but not sure if worth)

ways to make cottage cheese not taste shit (cocoa powder is not cutting it)

cardio > strength training maybe. Runner's high > nothing from strength training (that I ever felt anyway).

Finding a way to enjoy strength training

yoga and stretching for stim

skipping breakfast has really mixed vibes. Can feel completely awful, but can also make rezzing much easier. Can also lead to binges in the evening (because there's unspent cals in the budget). Probably best to stick to eating breakfast but keeping it high protein and not eating right away when waking up.

Experiment with meds timings.

minced turkey or discount fish for lean protein variety

ways to make eating salad not miserable, cos it does work rly well for getting a deficit. (Maybe herbs and lemon and chickpeas? Make in bulk? Quinoa? Binge risk)

_____________

New plan from 4th Oct '23 can't be strict bc cant track exercise cals without a phone for looking at time spent walking and running so will need to do a gross-in instead of net- in quick basic (aspirational) plan:

1000 cal deficit/day for the next month -> 1500 gross in/day allowance

NO: baked beans, bone broth, oil, paté, pasta, alcohol, caffeine, quiche, cheese, instant snack food, pesto, chorizo, hummus, meal deal foods reason: too sugary or fatty for their worth in flavour. Cause binges every time when rezzing. Not filling enough. Caffeine leads to crashes and the pickmeup is usually food.

LESS: bread, onion, ketchup reason: can be useful carbs in a pinch, less likely to cause binges than above (because they are only accompanied with protein). Onion and ketchup help with mental scarcity and support good vibes

MORE: fruit, veg soup, sweet potato, tuna, s. noodles, fruit juice, avocado, egg, steak, quorn, butternut squash reason: sugar cravings need to be comboed with fibre addition, or fruit juice could be useful diluted for emergency alc cravings. Everything else is lean protein and should be frontloaded in the day. Sweet potato is there for potassium and low glycaemic index carbs. Avo and s. noodles are contentious bc of price and fat/nutritional value reasons

ALTERNATIVES TO EATING: gaming, reading, weighing, cleaning, brushing teeth, counting cals, weights, stretching, running, walking, meetings. mostly overeat because of boredom and to break monotony in free time or to stim. These are alternatives that work and also make rezzing easier in other ways.

#pinned

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