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popculturebuffet · 1 year

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Tal'Dorei Travelogue: Dragonic Nightmares, Beyond Any Measure, Will Friedle Daydreams To Treasure Forever (Rise of the Chroma Conclave, Trials of Vasslehiem, The Sunken Tomb)

Hello all you happy critters and welcome to a new feature on this blog: Tal'Dorei Travelogue, where I take a look at each batch of Vox Machina episodes as it comes out. For those new here, I review comics and animation and i'm a MASSIVE fan of this show, to the point that despite having tons of other work i've decide to give a try to covering it every week simply because I love talking about it that much and didn't want to miss out again like I did last year. While I haven't seen much of critical roll...

I know, I know, I've bought the book, and deeply loved season one of this show, an epic fantasy about vengance, accepting who you are.. .and pulling on scanlans motherfucking beads. It nicely blended the kind of bullshit i'm told is normal for a DnD campagin with the epic fantasy that's just as normal, gorgeous animation and made it's main cast personal faviorite va's of mine.. except Ashley and Sam. They were already there since childhood. So my anticipation was through the roof for season 2 and after a VERY rough year for animation and a rough start to go along with that... I really needed this and the show not only didn't disapoint but somehow topped itself from the high it left off on. So join me under the cut but be warned.. there be dragons.. and also full spoilers for this weeks episodes.

Rise of the Chroma Conclave: So kicking my 2023 in animation (As I haven't yet watched the one Great North i've gotten yet and i'm not getting near Velma till me and my friend @jess-the-vampire (Who I also swept into this very show), are good and ready) with one hell of a bang, The Scouring of Emon, as i'm calling it as a big nightmarish fantasy event needs a cool name and I need something to call this to my therapist after this whole thing gives me nightmares for month, is easily one of the most tense events i've seen in animation. The first ten minutes of this episode is a mixture of the Chroma Conclave killing everything in their path in the most brutal way possible, and our heroes running for their lives and BARELY surviving. It sells just how BIG an event this is and just what a full power DnD dragon can do, something I really wasn't aware of not playing the game no matter how badly i've wanted to: it only takes what seems like MINUTES in story and seconds in real time for them to utterly destroy emon, kill most of it's people, and for Thordak to grandly delcare they scan serve them.. or they can die. There is no other option. The dragons are also played well, with Lance Reddick, who I previously saw play a villian masterfully on Ducktales with Lunaris utterly top himself with a deep terrifying growl, and continuing a trend of using a voice acting legend for one of their main villians instead of a guest star, Cree Summer nicely follows up Grey with her turn as Raishan, something they set up last season and i'm glad they followed through with. I haven't seen her play a villian in a while but god does she do as amazing as you'd expect, and with just a few lines she sells our heroes are fucked and why they barely escape her alive. Matthew Mercer and in a surpise as the voice was so diffrent from Vax, LIam O'Brian, do wonderful as Umbrasyl and Vorugal, completing the quartet. The CGI is also leagues better than last time: While Brimscythe was intimidating and all, the crew outright said that Titmouse worked overtime to make sure the dragons felt like the full characters they are instead of just beasts and it works, and thus the CGI instead helps sell that these beasts are BEYOND our heroes, beyond strength, and beyond hope.. and all they can do is run and HOPE to survive for now a Thordak hyper beams emon to cinders.

Our heroes are thus less terrfied as the king dies (Tragically, and with dignity, simply smiling that his family lives on as he bleeds out his eyes) and their left simply running, seperated and scared. And we get some close calls to show just how outclassed our heroes are: Percy nearly DIES. While obviously given both the trailers and how early it is this wasn't going to happen, the show doe swhat good fiction does and still sells you on the danger and it still utterly jarred me to see my faviorite of the group's skin melt off and Pike BARELY save him in time. Meanwhile the other half of the team.. faces Raishan... and in nice final boss preview fashion... their best efforts do NOTHING. Grog's move that served him so well last time, raging then splitting a dragon open... looses him his faviorite head chopper, simply breaking off on Raishan, and the most Scanlan can do is literally put a foot in her mouth, which only delays her for a moment. We also see Gilmores, one of the best locations of the last season... as burnt out husk. Gimore himself barely lives and it's telling that he's so shaken he offers them anything they need at a discount.... then just says fuck it and lets them loot whatever he has left. Scalan gets stuck with a broom, but everyone stocks up well for the rough road ahead. I also like how the lance of epic dragonslaying from last season isn't forgotten.. but also isn't allowed to make our heroes quest easy, being smashed quickly with Percy just sighing "of course".

This leaves our heroes retreating and welcoming in refuges, with some wanting to fight.. but Percy suggesting fleeing to whitestone instead.. and being you know.. right. And not just because he's my boy: they BARELY escaped with their lives, the dragons will be on them soon, and it's the only safe haven they have. These dragons just took the captial of the land hostage in a second. The rest eventually agree... though Keyleth wonders if this was their fault after Brinscythe, though while that's a neat question i'm glad they don't dwell on it as Percy ultimately points out it isn't: Emon had the best army in the world before him, so it was clear this was in motion a long time and while it goes unsaid, them stopping him likely meant as many survivied as they did rather than have Brinscythe destroy the entire army outright and possibly start the invasion sooner.

What I like is that the castle bit gets you a few seconds of breather.. before VORUGAL comes dowon on them, kills most of the refuges, and once again proves our heroes have no chance as they are as Scanlans gambit from last time.. is dispeled in seconds as Vorgual can see through illusions. It's another nice bit of storytelilng: As keyleth said earlier "Do they have magic?" And it proves they do. Brimscythe was not only have the size.. but also a brute in combat, simply using his sheer strength as a dragon. His allies are stronger, smarter, and our heroes can only hope to run and get stronger , get help and get out alive, barely escaping with maybe 20 people tops. So with some help from Cassandra and the Keeper our heroes keep them safe. And it's also telling for her leadership that Cassandra wholeheartdly agrees to keep the refuges safe here as Whitestone's isolation, which helped the briarwoods keep their iron fist on the place, is now working for the city as it's not a major target. It dosen't mean they have forever though: our heroes need a plan and having seen the pilot again recently... it's a really nice subtle show of character growth: in the pilot when just facing ONE dragon sacking emon eventually... our heroes response was...

Only turning around because they saw the people they'd just seen moments ago dead, all dead at Brimscythe's hands. Here there once again backs to the wall, now by FOUR dragons who are all smarter, stronger and deadlier than the dragon they BARELY defeated a few months ago, just likely weeks at best days at worst after they again barely (if not by as close a margin) beat a powerful necromancer, a god and rid their friend of a smoke monster. It's not only more understandable to run completely this time but almost expected.. and yet it takes little convicing for most of the party to agree. Vax and Vex are mildly reluctant but agree quickly, with Vax being skeptical.. but also likely understanding this is their duty. It's heartwarming to see these guy go in just a few month from scoffing at the idea of doing something heroic... to all but two fully agreeing to leap into this and find some way to defat the dragons. Their the defenders of the realm and while the guy who gave them that title just melted, it still means something. The only holdouts make sense: Grog is unsure of his strength after the axe thing, and Scalan being the most cyncial .. is the one just outright saying...

The speech that follows is also inspriing as the team join scalan.. and have also gotten closer as instead of laughing, or anything they just simply find him and Vex and Percy point out what they've acomplished and what whitestone has: in just a few days to a week they already have their surrounding wall almost repaired, and it shows what our protaganist have become: true heroes. Because a hero... inspires people. There someone to look up to and to whitestone they see not fuckups.. but people who risked their lives to save them, freed them from a nightmare, and did more than they ever could've dreamed of. Their heroes wether they like it or not and in this dark time SOMEONE needs to act like it. And if they die.. at least they die gloriously. Scalan caves with the instant classic line of "Can't do my world tour without the band" and it's off to the holy city of Vasslehiem for help. This episode is a tightly packed thrill ride I love to death: it only lets the audeince catch their breath twice to really sell just how fucked Emon is, how much our heroes have lost, and how dire everything is. There's still some great jokes, but the humor is kept either to the quiter moments or simply kept brief as it should: The show knows when to be hilarious as fuck... and when to really sink in how dark things have gotten and how far away the dawn is.. granted in this case the dawn is another year away as they seem to be splitting this arc over two seasons, but it sets up an epic world tour for our heroes, and that they need to take some serious levels in badass , and as we've see their already pretty high up, if their going to survive, much less win.

The Trials of Vassleheim Our heroes manage to enter a tree with Yennins vauge directions and after a hilarious bit that was released to promote the season with Kiki saving the twins and pike by flying like the wind and Scalan saves the rest of the party with a giant ass.... percy... takes it suprisingly well

Vasselheim itself.. ends up being no better. Percy suffers some humilation with his wheeling and dealing failing (Vex assures him it happens to all the nobles), and Pike trying to appeal to their council... fails because Highbearer Vord and co.. are your standard council of assholes who won't do anything if ti dosen't effect them. Insert your own politics joke here but i'ts one of the most common jokes in fiction and despite the fact that you know, their going to come for them eventually, they decide not to help.. the despite the fact that they don't even need to send an army or something, they could you know have given our heroes weapons, knowledge you know... on the sly. Anything besides "Gee that's rough buddy". Thankfully one of the guys working for them actually has a working soul and directs them to the Slayers Take, some bounty hunters who are rough tumble.. but their patron deity can help. Also all the while Vax is seeing creepy visions of death and is thus more protective of Vex than usual. Well not exactly death but for those who haven't read campaign spoilers a book or what have you, I shan't tell you what he's seeing, though you can likely guess after the next one.

The story then splits in half as Craven Edge, Silas' creepy sword starts talking to Grog who mistakes it for his stomach and thus wonders off for a fun grog solo adventure. And after eating and suprisingly without visting a whorehouse , Grog wonders his way into an arena where he finds Earthbreaker Groon, a badass monk played by Ike Amadi, a va I hadn't heard of but whose had tons of rolls from Martian Manhunter in the Tommorowverse to Aaron fucking Davis Prowler in the insomniac spider-man games. He's awesome here and the traning sequence... as it is here is one that will stick in my head for a while. Groon simply breaks down Grog asking where his strength comes form.. and suprisingly to me and Grog it isn't the typical "heart" answer I thought he was going for. It also nicely shows how utterly outmatched grog is in a way I always love seeing: Grog gives everything he has from craven edge, to raging.. and never even gets CLOSE to landing a blow, often never even drawing a punch. Groon meanwhile simply uses a few strikes. It's one of those things I just love when I see, to signal the begining of a heroes climb up to that level: that someone can outclass them that easily. Being used a lot in manga, it's likely not a suprise a bunch of nerdy va's who love anime used this trope and bless em for it. Grog finally stops getting made into hamburger when he admits he dosen't know, and that's the first step. The next ones are his. While an old man beats up Grog, the rest of our heroes head to the slayers take, which Vax says is a bad idea and refuses to explain why... until they get in there and we find out the take is pissed at the twins for stealing a bounty on a hydra from them, a nice nod to the origianl stream where VM first met the take fighting a hydra they had marked and had to join them to avoid arrest. It was a whole thing I have not scene. Point is our heroes are mostly marked for death by voice acting legend Will Fredle!

Yeah it's been a while since I heard him though he DID play Star Lord in that guardians of the galaxy show I forgot existed, so he hasn't stopped working, he just hasn't had any high profile gigs for a while is all. If you don't know him

And second I don't qutie mean that but it's still weird as he's played Terry Mcgunnies,Doyle Saturday Jamie Reyes, and of course the one the only best boy of all boys Ron Stoppable. He's been in this buisness a while with many more under his belt. He's not here because of that though but because Will Fredle actually guest starred on Critical Roll along with Mary Elziabeth MCgleenn as Zahara, a warlock and fellow take member whose just as eager for said revenge. It was part of that arc I mentioned, which was heavy on guest stars, including Felica Day who I hope gets more of a roll down the line, either as her character or just as someone period. To explain to people like me who only watch the cartoon, Critical Roll will occasionally have someone else sit at the table, bring in a character for the session that sort of thing. It's the tabletop equilvent of when someone TECHNICALLY joins your party in an rpg but you either have no control over them or their only there for the dungeon. Zahara and Kash were some of the most popular, so it's no suprise they made it over eventually, simply compressing thing: most of the party meets the take here instead of in the past, and one part of Kash's story, his flirting with Keleyth, was moved here. I won't say what I know backstory wise, as it may be revealed here later.

Anyways the take is overulled by their patron, who has them drop the party into her sarlac pit. It's there we get my faviorite sequnece of the episode: the fact it dosent have boy meets world's brother sucks but instead we get Allana Ubach, aka Manny Rivera herself, as Osysa, an ancient sphinx who quickly sets out to test our heroes.. and how is simple: break their spirit and see if they get back up: being a sphinx she apparently knows everything and thus needles our casts weakensses: Pike is afraid she wont' be good enoguh to save her friend smuch less the world, Percy is still wondering if he can ever earn back his friends trust after what he's done or evne forgive himself, the twins have seperation anxiety with Vax being afraid of loosing his sister and Vex having tried desperatley to please a father who will never love her back, Kelyeth faces the fact she's been avoiding doing her armante, and Scalan gets the biggest put down of all "No one cares about you and i'm no exception". She offers to let the heroes leave.. but PIke is steadfast standing up and refusing to leave , even willing to die to prove a point, and everyone is behind her.. and that, in classic fantasy fashion.. was the point. It was a test of resolve. To see if they were worthy and if they can do what's necessary: to fight even in impossible odds and be ready to sacrifice anything to succeed.

Their tools.. are something awesome that was ironically, thank you book for this knowledge, cooked up to solve a common dnd problem, and one that plauges video game rpgs too: you often get cool weapons, rely on them, come to value them as part of you.. ,but due to it's nature as a game you have to give them up eventually. Matt's solution? The Vestiges of Divergence. While there's KIND OF an explination in the show, here's the short version of teh long version: Long ago there war between the good gods and the evil betrayer gods. To help save humanity the gods gave their various patrons the vestiges, weapons embued with the power of gods from weapons to armor to cloaks. The weapons were either lost or hidden after the war, and thus wait for new bearers. When the bearer undergoes an emotoinal turning point, the vestige becomes awawkened and thus stronger. So in short a characters development... makes the item stronger and thus keeps it around, and nicely translates to tv storytelling. They can give our heroes the leg up to fight the dragons

The first is in a tomb in the lake to the west, The Deathwalkers Ward. We'll learn more about it in a moment but for now our heroes have ana ctual plan: get the vestiges, kill the dragons and then profit.. that's.. literally how vex puts it suprising no one. Our heroes decide to spend a night getting good and hammered first, before preapring to set out Edit: Crap on a crap cracker! While i'm not going to kick myself too much fo rmissing something most of the time I nearly didn't mention victor. He was a recurring charcter in the stream apparently tha tnaturlaly matt not only reprised here but they found a way to include.. and he's every bit delightful as he was built up to be, casually exploding his place by the end of his apperance, talking jolliy,.. and still being nicely integrated as a random shop keep is easy to put in a stream but here not only does Percy getting some black powder before he heads off make sense.. but it reveals Ana ripley is not only around.. but got some herself. percy decides to keep this to himself but there's no way this can possibly end well.

The Sunken Tomb

Or as I call it

Yeah even knowing what's ahead.. didn't help. This episode hurt. And for the first third or so it's just okay: Pike is a bit wory about the pitch black sword made of pure evil wielded by a spooky vampire Grog is using, Scalan indulges in his foot fetish, Percy's only suggestion when some creatures from the black lagoon attack him is "KELEYTH TURN INTO A BIRD OR SOMETHIGN" i'ts normal. The only diffrences are Zahra and Kashaw, who are commencing with operation "steal the vestige out from under them" an d"Get into kiki's tunic dress whatever" respectively.

This does lead to one of the shows funniest moments so far and one I had to replay at least twice before I could move on: the tomb as it turns out is the temple of Purvan... which for some reason Matt insisted be prounounced pur-von.

Yeah as you can probably imagine the original livestream, which I luckily found a clip of this moment on youtube so I didn't have to dig for it, went off the rails for a second after this as the entire cast laughed at it for some time while Matt vainly tried to both restore order and defend the purv. So i'm delighted the gang's knee jerk and entirley justified reaction of chorttling like middle schoolers was kept, with the entreity of vox machina bursting out into laughter, and with the best two jokes given to their actors respective characters with Scalan wondering if his last name is Pedo Bear and Vax admitting we all need to get our perv on sometime. IT's somehow made better with Kash's deadpan "You guys are the worst", which is clearly echoing what Matt was thinking in the moment. The rest is a prettty standard dungeon crawl, though spiced up with the sense of impending dread: the mysterious figure of the raven queen keeps stalking vax, his paranoia at his sisters death is hightned.. and then they get seperated. It's also telling he's hung up on this as he only reacts maybe once to Kiki moving on to someone else... whic is refreshing as you can only see so much scooby doo before your sick of "Daphne gets mad at fred despite them not being together" #87, so good on him. Worry about his sister now. Admitely i'm not on team Vax because it's the clear endgame. Being the clear endgame.. does not necessarily make a ship good. For instance i'm mostly supporting the main ship of miraculous ladybug out of fatigue at this point. Just because the writers want a relatoinship dosen't mean the audience is rooting for it. But the two have genuine chemstiry, to the point it just happened organically in the game, while Kash.. just seems to be hitting on her because he thinks she's pretty. Which.. she is. I mean this entire team is a smokeshow. Even grog who I kinda put to the side last season has gone up a notch thanks to him getting a breard. Also him getting his beard was comedy gold, from him putting on the belt of dwarvenkind to Kash sarcastically brushing it off.. only for Grog to get in his face. As for why this is a big thing apparently Goliath's, Grog's race, are naturally smooth let's say.

At any rate, we get two parties, and a nicely tense fight scene with the fish man, as well as Vex's exasperation that one of them is a wizard. It's a fun fight, and we even get trinket eating some guys then letting pike ride on his back.

And more disturbing and plot relevant.. grog gets a bit too into murdering which starts funny (it's because his beard was half shaved off, a nod to a prank from the stream i'd heard of), and .. then gets creepy as he gets very slasher villian into his bloodshed to Pike's horror. No time to talk though as the slayers booked it and went down a hallway to possible doom.. as it turns out when Vox machina enters and finds out the secret entrance they found is not the one they need. Instead Vax goes investigating instead of vex.. which proves to be a fatal mistake. Not for him, he's fine and finds out where their informant is. But Percy flirtly egging Vex on with "your brother wouldn't like it", which is also what he calls oral, finds them the grave and the vestige. Which normally would be great: magic item found, flirting between my faviorite pairing on the show, a good time for all.. but well... this show likes to hurt us and matthew mercer like sto hurt his players so .... Vex .. is well....

An arcane bolt hits her, and she disturbingly just.. htis the floor.. her eyes dead. Probably not the best time to see this given my cat died two weeks ago and had the same look. It's well done and makes you think for a second it might not be undone. All the party can do is scramble to her while Scalan, despite being often at odds with both twins, screams for him to get up here. And just to twist the knife further, the episode spent a good chunk of it's runtime somehow making us feel worse as we get some backstory for vax and vex. It's one of the nice thigns about the medium: instead of just saying the backstory, which is a necity in tabletop and still can be done hauntingly well as, having seen the first episode of the whitestone arc, Talisen Jaffe did a soulcrushing performance of percy telling everyone his. But here you can flesh it out an dhave the players actually act out their tragic pasts.

So going back a bit, we focus on the day Vax and Vex left their abuse father. IT's been mentioned their mom was killed by a dragon but what hasn't come up till now.. is their father. See their dad Sygorn is..

He's a racist asshole who basiclaly abucted the twins from their mom.. then proceded to emotoinally abuse them, being cold distant and feleing like they were an embarssment for being half human. He is a giant back of fuck you good sir and his first scene has him getting overly pissed at Vex for trying on and accidently breaking a diadim, then calling them out on their "Muddled" blood. Vax has enough and says their getting the fuck out of there and while Vex hestiaties, badly wanting her dad's love... the fact her dad dose n't put up a fight crushes her enough to go along with it. The two end up fighting with Vex, feeling vax needs her too much, leaves. She succesfully hunts and is fine on her own... but finds a sobbing Vax. As it turns out his clingyness wasn't because he felt she needed him.. but because he felt worthless and needed HER. They reconclile and promise to mever be apart. It puts a LOT of Vex's clingy behavior in season one in a more sympathetic light: she's utterly horrible to Kiki, true, and it's still not okay.. but given her brother is easily hurt, she just wants to, if entirely misguidedly protect him. It also explains why despite Vex being openly flurtatious with percy so far Vax hasn't returned the same: While Vex likely worries her brother can't handle himself (he can), Vax knows she can and only got scared and overportective when he kept getting portents of death.. and given said portent caused her death, I can't blame him. TH eending is just.. liam doing som heartbreaking sobbing. And true to form that's where we leave the week.... Mercer you bastard. I'll hopefully be here next week but if not catch me on twitter @lanternmogo and thanks for reading.

#the legend of vox machina #critical roll #vox machina spoilers #the sunken tomb #rise of the chroma conclave #the trials of vasselhiem #vax'ildan #vex'halia #percy de rolo #scanlan shorthalt #keyleth #pike trickfoot #grog

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aenramsden · 1 month

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The following is not my idea; it was the original brainchild of a friend of mine named Omicron, with help from various others including EarthScorpion, TenfoldShields, @havocfett and ShintheNinja:

So, you know what I want to do one day? Run (or play in) a D&D campaign in which the Big Bad Super Dragon that is fuckoff ancient and unfathomably powerful and whose actions have shaped history and bent the course of nations and had repercussions on the whole culture and society in the region where it's set; the Bonus Special Boss for some endgame optional quest after you defeat the direct BBEG and win the campaign...

... is a white dragon.

To explain this for people not deep into 5e monster lore; D&D dragons are sapient beings, and known for their instincts and tendencies, and whenever you meet an big evil dragon that's really old it's usually this ancient creature of terrible intellect Smaug-ing it up all over the place.

Except white dragons are fucking stupid. Like, they're still capable of speech and thought! They're just… feral, hungry morons. And you almost never see them portrayed as ancient wyrms for that reason; they lack majesty. Critical Role did it, yes, but even then, Vorugal is explicitly the most bestial member of the Chroma Conclave, and the others are the more intelligent planners and long-term threats. An ancient white as a nation-defining endboss, though; not a thug for a smarter master but as the strongest and biggest threat around is just not the sort of thing you tend to see.

Adventurers: "Oh wise Therunax the Munificent, gold dragon of Law and Good, what can you tell us adventurers of the evil dragons which rule this land?" Therunax the Munificent, 500-year old Gold Dragon: "Good adventurers, know this: this land is torn apart by the evil of Tiamat's spawn. The eastern marches are the dwelling of Furinar the Plague-Bringer, black dragoness whose hoard is a thousand sicknesses contained in the body of her tributes. The southern volcanic mountains are the roosting of Angrar the Wrathful, the fiery red dragon, who brings magmatic fury on all who do not worship him. And the northern peaks are home to Face-Biter Mike, the oldest and most powerful of all, of whom I dread to speak." Adventurers: "F-Face-Biter Mike???" Therunax: "Oh yes, verily indeed; two thousand years has Mike lived, and his eyes have seen the rise and fall of five empires, and a hundred and score champions have sought to slay him; and each and every one he bit their fucking face off."

Like... I want to see a campaign where Face-Biter Mike is genuinely the most powerful dragon in the region, if not the entire world. Where sometimes he descends on a city to grab himself some meatsicles and causes a localised ice age by the beat of his vast wings and the frigid wastes of his mighty breath and by the chill his mere presence brings to everything for miles around him, and everyone just has to deal with that for the next decade. An entire era of civilization comes to an end, an empire falls, tens of thousands starve in the winter, all because Mike wanted a snack. Where his hoard is an unfathomably vast mass of jewels and artefacts and precious stones frozen in an unmelting glacier, except he is a nouveau riche idiot with fuckall appraising skill, so half of his hoard is coloured glass or worthless knicknacks, and he doesn't give a shit.

"Your Draconic Majesty, this crown is… It's pyrite." "Yeah, well, it's brighter than this dusty old thing made out of real gold, it's my new best treasure. Throw the other one away." "…throw the Burnished Tiara of Bahamut, forged in the First Age of Man, your majesty???" "See? I can't even remember its fucking name." "But my lord-" "DO YOU WANT TO BE A MEATSICLE" "…I will fetch a trash bag, your majesty."

But at the same time, he's not stupid, he's just simple, and in some ways that makes him more dangerous than the usual kinds of scheming Big Bad you see in these things, while simultaneously justifying why Orcus remains on his throne (because he's lazy). Face-Biter Mike doesn't make convoluted plans or run labyrinthine schemes; he just has a talent for violence and a pragmatic, straightforward approach to turning any kind of problem he struggles with into a problem that can be resolved with violence. Face-Biter Mike has one talent and it's horrifying physical power, so his approach to any complicated problem is "how do I turn this into a situation where I can fly down and bite this dude's face off?" with absolutely no regard for the collateral damage or consequences of doing so, because those are also things he can turn into face-bitable problems.

"My lord, the dread necromancer Nikodemion is using his undead dragons to attempt a conquest of the eastern kingdom; his agents are everywhere, his plans are centuries in the making, what can we do against such a mastermind?" "I'm gonna fly over the capital and eat the eastern king." "M-my lord???" "The kingdom will collapse without leadership, Nikodemion will win his war, he'll take the capital and crown himself king." "And that helps us… how?" "Once he does I'll fly over to the capital and eat him." "…" "This is why you advisors all suck. You're all about convoluted plans when the only thing I need to win is know where my enemy is so I can fly down there and eat him. Stop overthinking things."

And, like, yeah, it's a simplistic plan, but when you're several hundred tons of nigh invincible magical death, you don't need brilliant strategy; the smartest way to win a war is, in this case, the simplest. He's not even all that clever at figuring out the consequences of face-biting, he's just memorised the common consequences of doing so.

(If you want to go all in on Mike being the major mover and shaker in the region; Nikodemion only even has a pet zombie dragon because Mike killed the last dragon to show up and contest his turf but wasn't going to eat a whole dragon by himself. Nikodemion got to stick around and amass that much power because Mike ate the Hero of the Realm while he was adventuring because he figured the Hero would come and try to slay him at some point. Nikodemion got started because Mike ate half the leadership of the Academy of High Magic who typically keep evil wizards and necromancers in check. And then eventually this product of Mike's casual, careless actions becomes a big enough problem to bother Mike personally, at which point Mike eats him too.)

He doesn't even really fail upwards, either! He is regularly reduced to nothing but the glacier he stores his hoard in, but he's Face-Biter Mike so nobody wants to commit to actually ending him forever lest they get their faces bitten the fuck off. And his hoard's in a huge-ass magical glacier so nobody can get to it without running into the Invading Russia problem; it's hard to wage war when everything is frozen over and you're both starving and freezing to death. Once he's been beaten back to his central lair and has lost all his holdings… I mean, he's still a problem, but he's a far away problem. So he loses his assets and spends a decade in a cave brooding it up while no one dares risk trying to actually kill him, and then a generation or two later he flies down to a kobold colony and gets himself some minions, or a dragon-worshipping mage comes to offer his service against a pittance from his hoard, or a particularly stupid cult starts thinking they can get in good with him and leech off his power, and then he's (hah) snowballing again.

He's also got a very… well, the kind of weird Charisma that Grineer bosses do. Like Sargas Ruk, who's a malformed idiot, but oddly charismatic. As he's a dragon, that makes him a natural sorcerer and thus Charisma is all he needs. He's pretty relaxed when he isn't in a face-biting mood, and he's kind of infectiously optimistic, because his life has taught him that he will succeed as long as he perseveres. So he just believes it.

And sometimes that's really refreshing to work for, as an evil minion of darkness! It's like, you're coming to your Evil Dragon Lord with terrible news; you've worked for evil overlords before, you know how it goes. You fall to your knees weeping and tell him that you've failed to seize the incredibly powerful magical artifact, you think your life is forfeit. And he's just like "Eh, it's okay, these things are all over the place. Better luck next time. You remember the guy who took it, right?" and you go "Y-yes, oh great lord!" and he's like "Sweet tell me his name later and I'll grab it" and then eats a frozen adventurer he kept around as a snack.

His followers tend to quickly realise that if they fail him, bringing some temple's silver or a sack of brightly coloured beads or a couple of dead cows means he's super forgiving because at least he's got something out of the day. "Oh boy, cows? It's been forever since I had those, ever since the Orc Steppe Nomads took over it's all about goats and onions. Today is a good day." He's a master of delegation by dragon standards, in that he just tells you "Just go get it done, I don't care how" rather than micromanaging you and constantly appearing as an image in smoke or taking over your campfire.

The key part of Face-Biter Mike as a threat to players (because he exists in the context of a D&D campaign) works well in that you can rely on several known quantities:

He will not pull sneaky shit that you don't see coming

He will not make convoluted plans that you must work to unravel

He will consistently attempt to come down and wreck you personally if he finds the opportunity and you are a threat to him

You cannot fight him head-on (at least not until the last leg of the campaign, and ideally as an optional boss rather than mandatory)

So as long as you are good at staying under the radar, thwarting his minions (whom he gives broad orders to with almost zero oversight) and not putting yourself in face-biting range, you can deal with him. If you succeed, it won't be the first time Mike has lost his assets and had to go brood in his glacier for a decade or two before rebuilding. It happens; he can deal with it. And that's a win for you within the context of a single campaign, so take the win.

And if you're not going to use him as an enemy, he works pretty well as a quest-giver, too! The costs for failure are obvious and straightforward, and "do whatever, just get me mine" means that players have a lot of freedom in accomplishing their goals. As far as evil overlords go he is actually one of the least dangerous to work for; his pride is relatively subdued by draconic standards, his goals are simple and typically achievable, and he is easily pleased.

(There's also a good chance he is the forefather of any draconic sorcerer in your party, because Face Biter Mike is a deadbeat dad.)

#d&d #face-biter mike #I want this #writing #gaming #advice #funny #criticism #fandom

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laurasbailey · 1 year

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CRITICAL ROLE vs. THE LEGEND OF VOX MACHINA

RISE OF THE CHROMA CONCLAVE (2x01) - PART 1

#critteredit #criticalroleedit #tlovmedit #the legend of vox machina #critical role #tlovm #matthew mercer #~#crtlovm #it's the way i have no characters to tag bc it's all dragons #the choice to have kima and allura there... peak #tlovm spoilers #5k

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wistfulwatcher · 1 year

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Allura Vysoren in "Rise of the Chroma Conclave"

#tlovm #tlovmedit #critical role #criticalroleedit #allura vysoren #edit #mine #*#crc1verse #crc1edit #tlovm spoilers #1k #alluravysorenedit #MY LOVE #here you go anon!

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vethbrenatto · 1 year

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THE LEGEND OF VOX MACHINA 2x01 | “Rise of the Chroma Conclave”

#critical role #vox machina #the legend of vox machina #shaun gilmore #scanlan shorthalt #creations #tlovm spoilers #tlovmedit

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harusuki · 3 months

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the legend of vox machina gifset per episode season 2 episode 1: rise of the chroma conclave

tip jar

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talesfromthecrypts · 1 year

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Death has come for you.

The Legend of Vox Machina 2.01 “Rise of the Chroma Conclave”

#the legend of vox machina #tlovmedit #critical role #animationedit #usercinema #mygifs #erin asked and i said yes i will do it all again

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merindab · 1 year

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What’s sexier than wizards?

#tlovm #tlovm spoilers #tlovm screenshots #rise of the chroma conclave #the legend of vox machina #allura vysoren #shaun gilmore

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annemarieyeretzian · 1 year

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pike stepping in front of the children to protect them with her holy shield,,, and then scanlan carrying pike through the tree,,, (bonus: grog carrying gilmore)

#annemarie watches the legend of vox machina #the legend of vox machina #tlovm #vox machina #pike trickfoot #pike #scanlan shorthalt #scanlan #pike x scanlan #scanlan x pike #pikelan #grog strongjaw #grog #shaun gilmore #gilmore #rise of the chroma conclave #critical role

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etoilesdeglace · 1 year

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The Legend of Vox Machina Season 2, Episode 1: The Rise of the Chroma Conclave

#critical role #the legend of vox machina #critteredit #criticalroleedit #tlovmedit #*my gifs #*my critical role gifs #tlovm #tlovm spoilers #c1 spoilers #tlovm s2 #this show is so pretty!!!!!!!!#i can't get over it #rainbowwwww

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gammaalanna · 1 year

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Thordak - The Cinder King

The Legend of Vox Machina - Season 2 (2x01 Rise of the Chroma Conclave)

#TheLegendofVoxMachina #LVMSpoilers #Vox Machina #Critical Role #Thordak #Dragon #Emon

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peach-the-owl · 1 month

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May I request for NPC month a Cassandra De Rolo with child reader. The young child was left orphaned after the Chroma Conclaves attack on Emon but fortunately scooped up by Vox in the escape to Whitestone. Child takes a liking to Cass and manages to continually sneak away from their host family to be near them [Cass]. Little ones sneaky little antics bring a certain joy to Whitestone castle that hasn't been felt in ages. Cass falls for little one's warmth and decides it might be best child stay with her.

Please and thank you.

Another fic finished! Cue the fanfair! 🎊 I was sorta hoping I could get more done but honestly 2 fics in one month is a record for me at this point in time so I’m happy with the results. (Also I sadly couldn’t think of a title for this one, but if anyone else does I’m open to suggestions, it’s fine if not.) I hope you all enjoy 😁

Cassandra & Child!Reader

What was happening? Why was it happening? Everything was happening too fast for your brain to grasp any of it, all you could remember was watching the king’s speech to all Emon, bells, people panicking, losing sight of your parents and being grabbed and hauled away by someone. It was a blur to your mind, making you feel as though reality itself had disappeared from you, so the absolute whiplash you felt when you came to your senses only to find yourself in a new city was immense. Some close friends of your parents had taken you in for the time being, and while it took a bit to confirm for sure, they had to break the news to you that your parents had perished in the attack on the city. You ran off that night, not wanting to believe any of it, your little legs carrying you right to Whitestone castle at the perfect time that someone else was stepping out for some air.

Cassandra just stepped out to cool her head, a lot was going on in a short amount of time and all she wanted was a second to breathe. She was shocked to find a young child sobbing just outside the castle, especially this late into the night. Unsure what to do she slowly approaches the kid, noticing some recent scaring from burns, one of the refugees.

“Are-are you alright, little one?” She mentally slaps herself for sounding so uninterested.

“Ahh!” You jump back in surprise at the sudden voice, not realizing someone else was there with you. You look up at the woman with teary eyes. “N-n-n…” You couldn’t even get a word out as another sob wrecks through your body.

“No no, shhh, it’s alright. You’re safe from danger here.” Cassandra tries to soothe, her efforts in vain as you continue to cry. “Hey hey, it’s okay. What’s wrong?” The words sorta slipped out without much thought put into them, but it did seem to encourage an answer.

“I-I want-*hic* I want my mom and dad. *hic hic* I wanna go home.” You cry, pulling your legs to your chest so you could curl yourself into a ball.

“If you got yourself lost we can easily…” Cassandra trails off when she sees the look on your face. That pained look of loss and suffering she knew all too well. She kneels down next to you, gently placing a hand on your back, your body flinches away for a second before resting against her hand again. “I understand how you’re feeling. Loosing your family at such a young age is not an easy experience to go through, nor seeing your home get destroyed from its former glory. I’ve been where you are, just a kid forced to go through a horrible experience.”

Your sobbing calms slightly to more of a whimper, you wipe your tears on your sleeve but more still fall, looking up at her again to see she was staring off into the distance in thought. You rise onto your feet and tug at he shirt gently to regain her attention, when she looks over you raise you arms up to her in a silent question, she looks at you perplexed for a second before catching on and lifting you into her arms where you then hug her. You feel her tense before relaxing and her free hand rests itself on your back once more. It was a nice moment, you felt a little more relaxed and calm for the first time since everything happened, too bad it had to be cut short.

“(Y/n)! (Y/n), where did you go!? Please, answer!” You could hear your foster parents calling for you.

“So, you’re name’s (y/n), is it?” You look back to the woman who gave you a slight raised eyebrow in curiosity, making you realize neither of you had introduced yourselves.

“Y-yeah.” Your voice comes out small and still a little shaky from all the crying. “Wh-what’s your name?” This earns you a soft chuckle from her, guess she realized the same thing you did.

“I am Lady Cassandra de Rolo, but just Cassandra is fine, it’s a pleasure to meet you (y/n).” She gives you a small smile, you offer one back and are about to say something when your foster parents show up.

“There you are, (y/n)! Don’t go running off like that, you had us worried sick!” One scolds. “And finding you with a stranger? These are dangerous times child, you could’ve gotten hurt or worse!” They continue, you just avert your eyes away from them, unsure what to say.

“We’re very sorry… Oh! Lady de Rolo! *ahem* We apologize greatly for any inconvenience this young one may have caused for you.” The one in place of your father bows as he apologizes to Cassandra, taking you into his arms now, you didn’t bother fighting it, you were exhausted.

“It’s no problem at all. In fact, they offered good company while here.” Cassandra waves off the twos apologies.

“Of course, my lady. Thank you keeping an eye on them.” The “mother” bows before turning her attention back to you. “Now let’s get you home and in bed.” You give her a sleepy sigh and nod.

“Night Cassan...” You give a sleepy wave as your voice trails off, unable to finish your sentence as you quickly pass out.

Giving a wave to your disappearing figures, Cassandra decides to head back in and get some rest for herself, tomorrow’s gonna be another eventful day.

It’s only been 2 days since your little episode and you really missed Cassandra’s company, sure the two of you didn’t say much or know each other for very long but there was something comforting about her that your foster parents just didn’t seem to have. So, without thinking too much about it you check to make sure the coast is clear before sneaking out of the house and dashing off towards Castle Whitestone. You hurried as fast as your legs could carry you, while also making sure not to bump into anyone, soon enough the crowded streets thinned in numbers and the castle wasn’t too far off. You did take a second to wonder how you managed to run here the first time as you already felt exhausted once you finally reached the large doors., you shake the thoughts away, you made it to your destination now you just had to find a way in, you could always try climbing the wall, you were a pretty if you do say so yourself.

“Hey kid! You lost?” You’re startled by the sudden voice of a guard walking over. “Come on kiddo, let’s get you back where you belong.” They walk over, ready to escort you back where you’d come from but in a flash you dash around the other direction, leaving the guard stunned for a moment. “What the!?”

Today just seemed to be a zero thought just action kinda day as once you felt far enough away from the guard you latch onto the wall and start your climb. It was tricky getting a good grip and foothold but not impossible and by sheer luck and determination you managed to make it to the window, adding to your luck the window was partially open too.

“Hey kid! Get down from there!” Looks like your guard friend caught up, a little too late though as you push open the window and hop inside. Victory! Now what? You basically broke into this big fancy castle and we’re certain the guard wasn’t just going to sit and take it, and all for what? To see the lady who comforted you on a whim? Yes, that’s exactly what it was and you weren’t giving up on the task. Hurrying down the many halls you realize you have no idea where you’re going yet you continue forward, managing to find yourself in a kitchen, it was empty aside from one cook who was hard at work. Thinking they were distracted you try sneaking by.

“Now what’s a youngin’ like yourself doing here all alone?” You turn to the chef who was giving an amused look.

“I uhhh… I wanted to visit a friend.” You tell them.

“I see.” They reply with a nod. “And just who is this friend of yours?”

“Uhh… Ca-Cassandra. At least that’s what she said her name was.” You fidget with your fingers awkwardly, not sure how wise it was to just trust this person with that information.

“Ah! So you’re the kid she mentioned the other day.” They say thoughtfully. “You’ll find her down the hall third door on your right. Can’t miss it.”

“Thank you!” You give them a bright smile before racing off. By now most of the guards seemed to have been informed of your little intrusion to the castle and were attempting to catch you. Thankfully for yourself they were just trying to grab you over using an actual weapon to stop you, making it a bit easier to wiggle around them and finally reach your destination. The second you place your hand on the door handle and twist it a guard catches you, the door opens and your both stumble to the ground.

“What is the meaning of this?” A man’s voice asks a little annoyed. You look up and give a big smile when you see the person you’ve been looking for.

“Hi Cassandra!” You wave happily at her, completely ignoring the other people in the room. She looks stunned at first but her expression changes to one of recognition.

“Oh! It’s you. Hello again, (y/n). What are you doing here?” She questions as she walks over.

“I wanted to see you again!” You beam. You’re suddenly hoisted off the the ground and now dangle in the guards grip.

“Apologies for the intrusion, this youngin’ here is a slippery one.” The guard apologizes. “I’ll escort them off the property right away.” You start to struggle against him after hearing that, you came this far you didn’t want to go back now.

“That won’t be necessary, I’ll take it from here.” Cassandra says, making you brighten up. The guard sets you down, to which you stick your tongue out at them in victory as Cassandra walks you out of the room full of confused onlookers. Once outside the room she kneels down to your height. “Do you mind waiting here a second? I’ll be out again shortly, I promise.” You give her an enthusiastic nod, making her smile a little before heading back into the room for a moment. You can hear murmuring through the door so you scoot closer and press your ear against it to listen in on the conversation as best as possible.

“Wha… child doing here?”

“Remember the… told you about the other…?”

“…but why are they…? We have… matters to deal… just some kid.”

“Honestly… stunt they pulled… impressive.”

“…e’ll have to work on strengthening… a child… past them.”

“You’re... the point… only came here… take responsibility for this.”

You weren’t sure what was going on, you try straining your ears to hear better but instead of talking there’s footsteps approaching the door. You jump back quickly to avoid getting hit in the face by the door and to hide the fact you were trying to listen in. When Cassandra walks out and looks to your totally not suspicious expression she chuckles lightly.

“You weren’t snooping, were you?” She jokes.

“Ummm… nope! Not snooping. I was just looking around at stuff.” You lie, acting as if nothing as wrong. It’s too bad your a terrible actor, but at least Cassandra got a good laugh out of it.

“You quite the wild card, you know that.” She says, you have no idea what that’s supposed to mean so you just nod along. “Say I have an idea. Why don’t you show me exactly how you got in here without getting caught by any of our guards.” You eagerly agree, grabbing her hand and tugging her along as you explain your quest in great detail.

Now of course your foster parents eventually showed up, having been worried sick when you ran off again and they couldn’t find you in the city, only to be told by a guard your whereabouts and you were in a lot of trouble for not saying anything or even leaving a note. You argued you still weren’t good at writing but that was barely an excuse and you were grounded for a week. Sadly for them that wasn’t going to stop you, even before the whole dragon attack you were always finding ways to slip past your parents to go to your favourite spot in Emon. To you, slipping past your foster parents to go to your favourite place in Whitestone and hangout with your new favourite person was no different, if anything it brought familiarity and joy to you once more in these bleak times. It wasn’t just you either, as time went on, your continuous escapades to Whitestone castle brought a sorta merriment to their lives. You easily made friends with that chef who helped you when you first snuck in, they’d give you some food to snack on whether it was because they had extra or tried something new and wanted you to be the first to try it, enjoying the reactions you’d give whenever you liked what they made. And while the guards were irritated by your constant breaking most of them eventually came to tolerate you decently and at least a few of them actually warmed up to you, finding these little moments helpful in strengthening their defences.

Cassandra couldn’t wrap her head around it, you had one heartfelt talk when you first met and she thought that would be it, you’d move on and adapt to the new status quo, the last thing she expected was you showing up again and again and again just to see her. Whenever you were happy or excited about something she was the first you run to and tell everything about, it made her feel a joy that she didn’t think possible in these trying times. Whenever you were upset or sad she was the first you go to for comfort, it made her feel protective of you wanting nothing more then to make those sour memories or thoughts disappear so she could see you smile again. Whenever you accomplished something she was the first you’d brag about it to, a feeling of pride washing over her whenever you explain what it was you achieved. It’d be so much easier for you to stay home and tell these things to your foster parents but every single time you’d go out of your way to head to the castle and tell her instead. The moments where your foster parents would show up apologizing profusely for your misbehaviour and take you home for a scolding were getting harder and harder for Cassandra to watch. She couldn’t keep going at this routine anymore, it was taking away valuable time, she had to do something about this and soon.

You giggle to yourself as you walk the familiar path to Whitestone castle, your foster parents really thought getting a new lock for your window was going to stop you, unlucky for them the rouge and ranger Cassandra’s brother was friends with taught you some neat tricks when their group came to visit. The smile you had grows as you approach the doors, two guards on duty see you approach, one sighs while the other gives a small wave.

“I know that meek wave anywhere. How are you Heath? Is your arm still hurting?” You greet with a wave of your own.

“Hey kiddo. It was my shoulder, not my arm but it’s doing a lot better.” You give a nod to this.

“Sooo… may I come in?” You ask, already knowing the answer.

“No you may not!” You jump a little at the, that’s not what you were expecting at all. “(Y/n), this is the last straw.” Oh shoot, you know whose voice that is. You turn around and sure enough there’s your foster parents, angrier then ever before.

“What’s the big deal? I left a note this time.” You whine.

“Writing ‘Your windows can’t hold me down’ isn’t what we meant by a note! Honestly, are you trying to give us daily panic attacks? You’re lucky we’ve caught onto the pattern.” One places their arms on their hips.

“More like unlucky.” You mutter.

“Listen, (y/n), we know you’ve been having a hard time adjusting to things since your parents…” They trail off a bit, you look away from them sombrely. “It’s been hard on all of us and we just want the best for you, but you make it very hard for us with you constantly running away from us. Do you understand?” You fidget with your hands and look back at the guards who were stuck having to awkwardly stand there and watch this unfold, if anything you felt bad for them. “Come along now, say your apologies to the guards and we can go home.”

“Go home? But you just got here.” The sound of Cassandra’s voice immediately perks you up, spinning around you see her coming over and go to give her a hug, which she returns with a soft chuckle.

“Ah! Terribly sorry for the disturbance, Lady de Rolo. We’re sure you have more important matters to deal with so we’ll be taking our leave.”

“You’re correct, I do have important matters to deal with, and they involve this child in your care.” You look to her confused, she gives you a smile then looks back to your foster parents. “If my intel is correct you were fostering (y/n) out of respect of their parents correct?”

“They were close friends of ours for many years. We didn’t want (y/n) to be left completely alone but we knew we weren’t exactly ready to take full responsibility yet, as shameful as that sounds. So we swore we’d care for them as best we could until we found someone we knew could give them the care they truly deserved.”

“Then I’m sure you’ll be happy to receive this.” Cassandra hands some papers, you look between the three of them unsure of what was going on.

“Are-are you sure M’Lady? We’d understand if you-”

“No need for any of that. I made up my mind and I’m certain it’s the best choice for all of us.”

“Best choice of what? What’s going on?” You ask utterly lost, why did people have to be so vague about things sometimes. Cassandra kneels down and lifts you into her arms, you weren’t complaining but that didn’t make anything less confusing for you. You foster parents offer you a smile and a small bow.

“We hope you’ll behave yourself a little better here, young de Rolo.” Wait what?! Did they just…

“Huh? But I’m not…” You trail off and your eyes widen when the pieces start clicking into place, shifting a little to get a better look at Cassandra. “Really?” She gives you a nod and you can’t help but hug her. She sets you down giving you the chance to hug your, now former, foster parents. “Thanks for looking after me, even if I did give you trouble.”

“You promise us you won’t go sneaking off on your new family and we’ll call it even.”

“Deal!” The two take their leave while you wave to them with Cassandra. When you can’t see them anymore you look up at Cassandra and she looks back down at you, holding out her hand. You happily accept and the two of you walk back to the castle, the guards open the doors for you.

“Welcome home, (y/n).”

#critical role #critical role & reader #vox machina #vox machina & reader #cassandra de rolo #cassandra & reader #npc appreciation month #nothing romantic here

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