thinking about episode one of our flag means death ending with "high on a rocky ledge"; a song about taking a leap of faith, dying and being reborn, in order to make a new life with the person you love
thinking about ed, crying in a blanket fort, clinging to a life that's been ripped away from him, thinking he'll die if he doesn't, being asked by a friend, "what if it's not a death? what if life just begins again?"
thinking about stede, spending all of season one stuck between the life society told him he should want and the new life he's created for himself, devising a plan to kill his old self completely so he can go find the man he now knows that he loves
thinking about ed drowning in the gravy basket, fighting against the rock he himself tied around his own waist, getting saved by the sound of stede's voice and the vision of stede that comes to meet him where he is, that stays with him until he's ready to open his eyes
thinking about anne and mary, stuck in a cycle of sadistic games, not communicating how they really feel, finally showing real love to each other when anne burns down the life that's suffocating them and sets them free
thinking about buttons, telling ed "to love the sea as she should be loved requires change", performing seemingly impossible acts of magic to achieve his goal and turning into a seagull before flying off towards the sea
thinking about lucius, stuck in a cycle of reliving his suffering, being told he never talks about how he lived, being told "not moving on is worse", choosing to change and marking that change by asking pete to spend the rest of his life with him
thinking about ed trying to constantly reject parts of himself, to cut out the pieces that keep him up at night, hearing the echoes of stede's screams in his own mind and choosing to embrace his darkness for love this time, rising from the depths of the sea (edward teach reborn on a beach) and immediately coming across a letter from stede echoing back that he is loved he is loved he is loved
thinking about ed and stede waving goodbye to a ship as it sails away and choosing again to change, to try for a life of their own making but this time together as one, starting from the bottom, unsure where to begin, but smiling anyway; "it's got good bones"
thinking about that constant cycle (death and rebirth, death and rebirth), about how it's never too late to become who you are, about how change can seem scary, near impossible at times, but knowing on the other side there is the potential for freedom, for happiness, for love
"dying to be with her wasn't any sacrifice" indeed
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Thinking about High on a Rocky Ledge and how it serves as the thesis for the show. How the main themes of OFMD are about accepting yourself, accepting that your trauma and difficulties don’t make you unlovable. How to accept that you are multi-faceted without running away from any one part of yourself; of instead being brave enough to face and embrace it. How you are lovable despite and regardless of it all. When you think you are difficult to reach and difficult to love, someone is climbing and fighting to see you and love you. Thinking about the theme of finding love and learning that the best way to cultivate that love is to change and be open to change. Suffer an ego death (or a literal one), let go of what’s holding you down or back, and change so you can grow in love with the one you have waited for to be mated with. How dying to be with the one you love means you can regrow together. How change is a leap of faith or a push off a cliff, but it is worth doing because you understand deep down that you are not alone. You are reborn and returning to something worth fighting for, worth changing for. On the other side, you will push up through the snow together, intertwining your roots in the dirt. Death and rebirth and acceptance and love.
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"are you ok" no im crying bc "if you would win your lady love, there's only one way: fall to your death from high above, you will begin to grow in snow beside the one you have waited for to be mated with"
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I've been meaning to sit down and write out all of my thoughts on "High on a Rocky Ledge" because that song does something to me and every time I listen to it my brain is like !!!!! and I grin hopelessly.
I totally get why this song isn't a Big Deal in the fandom, because it's used before Ed comes on the scene at all. But I'm going to ramble on now about why it affects me so much, because I keep thinking up these points and not jotting them down.
So the context where it's used in the first episode, when Stede is reading to the crew. It sounds a lot like a lullaby, positioning him as their father (along with the fact that he's ... reading a child's story to the crew), for all those found-family feels.
He's also dressed in blue and in bluish moonlight which just makes for an excellent image.
Moondog sounds like some kind of traveling pre-modern singer who travels from village to village, and we all (we are peasants in this scenario) gather around him at the fire at night and listen to him sing his strange stories. This one has an otherworldly edge to it, there is a truth behind it that we can't quite reach.
The tune is quite lonely. Stede has always been lonely. He's definitely a lot less lonely with his crew, who are finally on his side at this point in the episode, but he's still alone. He doesn't really have a second-in-command the way (we will find out) that Ed does.
He doesn't even know that he has a SOULMATE out there, just waiting for him to come along! He thinks he's about as happy as he'll ever be - away from his marriage and boring life, on a ship with a crew that finally seems to accept him. He doesn't know what we know!!
The song itself! Man!
High on a rocky ledge lives a Mädel Edelweiß
Shy as a shadow, lovely as lace, and cold as ice
High on a rocky ledge, I pledge my love to her
Ev'ry time I climb up to Paradise
How many times I've been up to see her, goodness knows
Huffing and puffing, dressed in the warmest climbing clothes
How many chances would be taken in my
Hopeless pursuit of the Schnee Mädel Edelweiß
Then spoke a spirit, "If you would win your lady love
There's only one way: fall to your death from high above
You will begin to grow in snow beside the one
You have waited for to be mated with"
Now, I'm an Edel vice to my Mädel Edelweiß
Dying to be with her wasn't any sacrifice
We're so deliriously happy on our ledge
Where I pledge my love to my Lady Fair
You who are climbing breathless to see me and my love
Snow flowers growing fonder on Lover's Ledge above
If you've the yen to pluck, then pluck us both
For we who have lived as one wish to die as one
So like it's all about a love that's hopeless on the face of it - a man is in love with a flower. He wants to be with the flower but he's a human and she's a flower so it won't work. Some kind of magical being tells him that if he falls off the mountain, he'll be reincarnated as a flower as well, so he does it and it works. That's DARK and weird.
It parallels himself and Ed, who are born to such extremely different positions that they might as well be a human and a flower.
In some ways, Stede is the narrator of the song - he has to die in order to be with the one he loves. This happens multiple times: he's said to have died when he leaves his family to be a pirate (a transformation), he gets stabbed and hanged and nearly dies of the fever as well at the time of his meeting Ed (very liminal), he fakes his own death to be said to have died more truthfully and get closure so that he can be fully with Ed.
At the same time, Stede is the flower. Stede loves flowers (and he has been treated like shit his whole life for it); he's picking flowers in the flashback where he's tied to the oars of a rowboat. He is definitely a figure of beauty to Ed, and kind of a damsel in distress - this guy who doesn't know what the hell he's doing as a pirate, who needs to be rescued from himself. (And "lovely as lace", something definitely associated with Stede.)
And that ending: "If you've the yen to pluck, then pluck us both / For we who have lived as one wish to die as one." Hooooooo. A definite parallel to the ending of the season - Ed tying himself to Stede rather than allowing him to be killed.
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